Behind Every Good Man

Proverbs 31:11
Dependable.Steadfast.Trustworthy.Wise. Arethesewordsthatyouwouldusetodescribeyourselfmostdays?

The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. Proverbs 31:11

Whydoourlivessooftenfailtoreflectthesecharacteristics?

Sometimesitisbecauseweareselffocused.Whenwearelookingtoourselves toworkthingsoutweoftenbegintopanicwhenwerealizethatwecant.Orwe aresobusytryingtomakeourselveshappythatwehavenotimeorenergyleft forthosearoundus.Sometimeswedonotfollowthroughwiththingsthatwe havepromisedtoothersbecauseweareovercommittedorbecausewethink thatoureverydayactionswillnotmakeaverybigdifferenceinthatpersonslife. Eventhemostresponsibleofuscanbegintoslipintobeinganundependable personwhenourfocusshiftstothewrongplaceorwhenwelosefocusalto gether. Whenwasthelasttimeyouwereundependable?

Whatwastheheartcausebehindit?

Godisthemostdependable,faithfulindividualyouwilleverknow.Heisalways presentwhenweneedHimandHeneverfailstodosomethingHehasprom ised. Whatpromptsustobedependable?Wearemoredependablewhenwehave prioritizedourtimeandeffortaccordingtoGodspriorities.Thismaymeansit tingdownandfiguringoutwhichitemsmustbedeletedfromyourschedule.It maymeansimplifyingyourlife.Itmaymeanbeingdeliberateaboutsetting asidetimetorelaxinGodspresence,ortakingbettercareofyourselfsothat youarenottiredandfrazzled,butarehealthyandabletobefullyavailable whenaneedarises. Oneimportantthingtorememberisthatweareonlyresponsibleforcertain 1 things.ThebookBoundaries,byHenryCloudandJohnTownsend communi catesthefactthatmanyproblemsarisewhenweeitherrefusetotakeresponsi bilityforthethingsthatdofallwithintherealmofourresponsibilityorwhenwe takeonthingsthatarenotmeanttobeourresponsibility.Manytimesweeither becomeneedyandunnecessarilydrainingtoothers,orweareallowingour selvestobepulledsomanydifferentdirectionsthatweendupinastateofpain andconfusion,unabletodoanythingwell. Thereisacalmnessthatseemstobeapartofdependability.Whenapersonis overwhelmedorjustbarelyholdingonthemselves,theyareusuallynotaper

Cloud,H.,&Townsend,J.(1992). Boundaries.GrandRapids:Zondervan.

sononecanlooktoforsupport,andpeoplemaylookelsewhereforthatsup port. Howdoesitmakeyoufeelwhenyoucomeintocontactwithsomeonethatis justbarelyholdingon?

ThisseemstobeoneofthecharacteristicsthatisspokenofinProverbs31. Verse11says,Theheartofherhusbandtrustsinher,Andhewillhavenolack ofgain.Youhaveprobablyheardthephrase,Behindeverygoodmanisa greatwoman.Whetherornotthissayingistrue,eachoneofusistohavethe attitudeofChrist.Hedemonstratedanattitudethatservedfaithfullywithahum blespirit.Hewaswillingtotakeontheleastdesirabletasktoletsomeoneelse havethehonor.Hewastheultimateexampleofonewhocouldbetakenathis word,whowoulddowhateverwasnecessarytodemonstrateHisunendingand sacrificialfaithfulnessanddependability. Thiswillmeanthatyoucannotbethereforeveryonewhentheyneedyou. Therewillbetimeswhenyoumustsaynotoopportunities.Butbeingtrulyavail ableandtrustworthytoafewratherthanbeingsuperficiallyavailabletomanyis atradeoffthatiswellworthit. Whyisitsohardtosaynosometimes?

Noahswifewasanamazingexampleofawomanwhowasdependableand trustworthy.Thoughwedonothavemanydetailsaboutherlifetoreadofin Scripture,andwedonotevenknowherbyherownname,wecangatheran ideaofsomeofthecharacteristicssheseemedtodemonstrateasshefulfilled herroleasNoahswife.Shewasapparentlyahelpandsupporttoherhusband. Wedonothearanythingofhercomplaining,arguing,ortryingtoconvinceNoah thatheshoulddosomethingdifferent.ThisisinstarkcontrasttoJobswife,who toldhimtoCurseGodanddie!ShedidnotleaveNoahwhenhewasdoing whatmusthaveseemedinsanetothosearoundthem.Wedonothearofany counterproductivewordsoractionsinalloftheyearsthatshewasapartofthe processofbuildinganark,andwecanonlyassumethatshedidallshecouldto aidtheprocess.ByScripturesrelativesilenceabouther,itimpliesthatNoahs wifewasdoingexactlythethingthatshewasneededforinthissituation,sup portingherhusbandinwhatGodhaddirectedhimtodo. Whydoesbeingdependableandtrustworthytendtobeamoresilentcharacter istic,asinthecasewithNoahswife? The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Justasweoftenbrushoffthoseclosesttousorgivethemtheleftoversofour timeandourlove,dowenothaveatendencytodothatthemostwiththeOne wholovesusthemostandhasgiveneverythingforus? Beginningtodevelopadependability,trustworthiness,andfaithfulnessinour relationshipwiththeLordisagoodbeginningplacefordevelopingthosesame traitsinourrelationshipswithothers.AsyouspendtimewiththeLordandallow Himtoteachyouabouthavingafaithfulheart,askHimtogiveyouabetterun derstandingofHisownheartofcompletetrustworthinessandtodevelopthat sameheartattitudeinyou,aswell.AskHimspecificallytoshowyouinstances inwhichyoucanhaveanimpactonanotherslifebydemonstratinggenuine

trustworthiness,andthendoit. Whatdoyouneedtodoinresponsetothislesson?

By Shannon Kinzie