FROM ISOLATION TO INCLUSION All human beings have a pervasive drive to form and maintain at least a minimum quantity

of lasting, positive and impactful interpersonal relationships. They likened the need to belong to other basic needs. A person who has little contact with other people will feel unhappy and lonely. (Baumeiser, R. & Leary, M., 1995, p. 497) The need to belong Man is by nature a social animal: and an unsocial person who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either unsatisfactory of superhuman. Aristotle. Most people spend the majority of their waking hours in the company of other people. People also satisfy their need to belong, at least temporarily, by joining in larger collectives and categories. Spending time alone, away from others, can be rejuvenating, pleasurable experience. People perceived Isolation from others as an activity wherein they are able to enjoy their self-discovery, contemplation, and even their spirituality increases. These following perceptions occur only when Occurs when one is physically isolated from interactions with and observations by others (Long et al., 2003) When alone, people tend to discover who I am, determine what I want to be, meditate and reflect, try out some new behaviours, recover my self-esteem, protect myself from what others say, and take refuge from the outside world. (Pedersen, 1999, p. 399) The Pain of Exclusion Social exclusion happens when someone is left out of mainstream society, deprived of opportunities for participation in economic, social and civic processes. (http://europeandcis.undp.org). People ranging from different age and socio-economic status find protracted periods of social isolation disturbing (Zubeck, 1973).

In a study conducted by Jean Twenge, Roy Baumeiser, and their colleagues about Exclusion, which focuses on how people would react to isolation. Those people
who were told that they will likely live out their lives alone displayed these following characteristics: Being more critical of others, Punishes others, Less helpful to others, Takes risks, Procrastinates, Competitive, and is Unable to think out straight in situations To be isolated from others due to circumstances or accidents is one thing, but to be deliberately ignored and excluded by others-ostracism-is particularly distressing. Peoples need to belong is slaked when group accepts them, but they are most satisfied when a group actively seeks them out. People respond negatively when a group ignores or avoids them. Ostracism: A form of exclusion This type of exclusion can be done through a formal rejection of a member from a group or a subtle interpersonal tactics by giving a silent treatment, and cold shoulder Typically Women uses this more compared to Men. In result, those who were victims (ostracized) felt that they have been betrayed, frustrated, anxious, nervous and lonely (Williams, 2007) and sometimes in describing of what they have felt, those who were victims (ostracized) even used intensely negative words such as being Heartbroken, Depressed, and they even see themselves as a Worthless person. Brain imaging researchers even suggested that the pain of exclusion is neurologically similar to pain caused by physical injury. Ostracism: Coping to it Some cases, however people display a tend and-befriend response to exclusion (Taylor et al.,2000) Rather than fighting or fleeing the group, they nurture, protect, and support others or they take steps to strengthen their interpersonal relations (Maner et al.,2007) Sexual differences and their strategies of coping When Women experiences emotional distress brought by exclusion, they have the tendency to blame themselves for why they are experiencing such treatment, thus they would resort to adapt tending in dealing with the situation by Nurturing, Protecting,

being Supportive of others, and Strengthening interpersonal relationships (Williams and Sommer,1997)

In contrast Men, does the opposite. They do care of what others are dong to them its just they do not compensate to it by building better interpersonal relationships with them nor they would blame themselves for experiencing this emotional distress, Men remains stagnant in this type of situation (Williams and Sommer,1997) Why is exclusion (ostracism) painful? One of surest ways to lower individuals self-esteem is to reject them. Many theorists consider the need for self-esteem to be a master motive of the reason thus, assuming that individuals act in ways to protect and enhance their self-esteem. This is reinforced by Learys sociometer theory that explains Self-esteem is part of a sociometer that monitors people relational value in other peoples eyes (Leary, 2007, p. 328) Why do we need to be in groups? The Herd instinct illuminate that the reason for us to have the need to be in groups is due to our human nature, living in groups yielded both costs and benefits for early humans, humans are also consistently cooperative in their dealing with other people, so long as these people are members of a group to which they belong and not outsiders. From Individualism to Collectivism What is individualism and collectivism? Individualism is primarily based on the independence of each individual. These people are autonomous and must be free to act and think in ways they prefer, rather than submit to the demands of the group. Meanwhile, Collectivism refers to those who recognize that human groups are not mere aggregations of independent individuals, but complex sets of independent actors who must constantly adjust to the actions and reactions of others around them. In terms of social relations, Individualist focuses on establishing and maintaining relationships that yield personal rewards with few costs (exchange orientation); concern for maintaining equity in relations with others. While, collectivist focuses on fostering nurturing and

harmonious relations with others with less emphasis on exchange (communal orientation); resources are distributed on the basis of need. When it comes to social obligations Individualistic individuals act to promote their own interests before considering the needs of others; satisfactions comes from personal triumphs in competition with others. And, collectivists are obliged to cooperate with others in the pursuit of shared goals; concern for group success: behaviour is guided by group norms and roles. In social identity individualists consider the independent self is based on ones personal, idiosyncratic characteristics; each self is autonomous and unique. While, for the collectivists The independent self is based on ones personal, idiosyncratic characteristics; each self is autonomous and unique. Being an Individualistic or collectivistic individual can vary due to an individuals Cultural differences and Generational Differences. From Personal Identity to Social Identity Identification- individuals feel connected and independent with other members. A person has a more Hot cognitive reaction rather than a cold recognition of membership. Their selfdescriptions become increasingly depersonalized. Self-categorization- people quickly and auto automatically classify other people into social categories. People do not, however only categorize other people; they also classify themselves into various groups and categories. Self and Identity- Identification with a group is so great that across situations people think of themselves as group members first and individuals second, and, within their selfconcept. (Phinney & Ong, 2007) Evaluating the self-Michael Hogg (2005)- Individuals are motivated to think well of themselves, and since their groups comprise a significant portion of their selves, they maintain their self-worth by thinking well of their groups. Self-understanding is a core motive for most people, and that groups offer people a means of understanding themselves.