You might be a Cajun if... Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.

You think the head of the United Nations is Boudreaux-Boudreaux Guillory. You think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids. You think boudin, hogshead cheese, and Bud is a bland diet. You think Ground Hog Day and Boucherie Day are the same holiday. You take a bite of 5 alarm Texas chili and reach for the Tabasco. Fred's Lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry. You have an "envie" for something instead of a craving. You use a No. 3 washtub to cover your lawn mower or outboard in your yard. You use two or more pirogues to cover your newly planted tomatoes to protect them from a late frost. You use a gill net to play tennis, badminton or volleyball. The horsepower of your outboard motor is greater than the motor in your car. You pass up a trip abroad to go to the Crawfish Festival in Breaux Bridge. Your favorite TV talk show is Okra Winfrey. Your children's favorite bedtime story begins "First make a roux." Your school teaches the four basic food groups as boiled seafood, broiled seafood, fried seafood and beer. You're asked to name the four seasons and reply, "Onions, celery, bell pepper and garlic." You're asked to name the Fab Four" and answer, "Paul Prudhomme, John Folse, Justin Wilson, and Vernon Roger." Your description of a gourmet dinner includes the words "deep fat fried" You let your black coffee cool and find it has gelled. Your mama says every morning, "Well, I got the rice cooking, what we gonna have for dinner?" None of your potential vacation destinations are north of the old Mississippi River bridge. You refer to Louisiana winters as "gumbo weather." You get a disapproving look from your wife and describe it as "She passed me a pair of eyes..." You think of gravy as a beverage.

You greet your padna at the Lafayette Airport with "IiiiiEeeeeeeeeee!" You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says "Don't eat the dead ones" and you know what he means. You learned bourr the hard way, holding yourself upright in your crib. You gave up Tabasco for Lent. You know the difference between Zatarains, Zeringue and zydeco. Your dog thinks the bed of your pickup is his bed. You can look at a rice field and tell how much gravy it will take to cover the rice. You consider the four seasons winter, spring, summer, and hunting. Your high school band's rendition of the national anthem begins, "Jambalaya, crawfish pie, filet gumbo..." You stand up when they play "Jolie Blonde." You consider Breaux Bridge the capital of the state, and Lafayette the capital of the nation. You think the Mason-Dixon line is at Bunkie.

You consider gravy a beverage. You think the Fantastic Four are: John Folse, Paul Prudhomme, Justin Wilson & Tony Chachere. You see a Revival Tent and think "Festival." Your childs favorite bed time story starts with "First you make a roux." (Base of flour and fat used to thicken and flavor many Creole and Cajun dishes. You know the meaning of KEEYAW! You have called someone a DOS GRIS(doe gree). (And Know what it means) You think "Damn Yankees" live north of Bunkie. You have had donuts & beer for breakfast. You boat has more horse power than your car. You start angel food cake with a roux. Fred's Lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry. You use a Gill net for tennis, volleyball, & badminton. You Know the difference between Zatarains, Zeringue, & Zydeco. You greet your friends with" A EEEE"! Any of your dessert recipes call for Jalapenos.

You use your pirogues (pee-row) to protect newly planted tomatoes. Cajun canoe, originally made from a dug-out cypress log (small boat like a canoe) Watching "Wild Kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook. You think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids. You think boudin (boo dan), hogshead cheese, & Bud are a bland diet. Boudin: Cajun-made sausage of pork and rice and spices. Sociologists recognize two major categories of Cajuns the River (for andouille) Cajuns and the Bayou (for boudin) Cajuns You add Tabasco to 5-alarm Texas chili. You think Ground Hog day & Boucherie Day are the same Holiday. Boucherie (Boo-Cher-Ree) - A festive hog killing where neighbors are invited. To you, the four seasons are onions, celery, bell pepper & garlic. You have an "Envie" for something instead of a craving. You pass up a trip to Europe to go to the Breaux Bridge Crawfish Festival. If you call winter time, gumbo, geaux geaux, & do-do weather. You learned Bourre (BOO ray) while standing in your crib. Popular Cajun card game, sometimes called Cajun Bridge You think a 7-course meal is a 6 pack & a link of boudin. You give up tabasco for lent. You let your black coffee cool, and find it has jelled. You know the four food groups as boiled, broiled, baked seafood & beer. You can pronounce "Atchafalaya & Delcambre". You look at a rice field and know how much gravy is needed to cover it. Your mom starts the rice and asks "what do you want for dinner?". Your gourmet recipes include the words"deep fat fried". If your "other white meat" is frog legs or alligator. The national anthem starts off," Jambalaya, crawfish pie, file' gumbo". Jambalaya: (jam-bah-lah-ya) A traditional Southern Louisiana rice dish. File': (fee-lay) ground sassafras leaves used to thicken and flavor gumbo. Gumbo: A deep rich Cajun stew often thickened with okra or file You stand up & put your hand over your heart when you hear "Jolie Blonde". Grits and Grillades (gree-yahds) are your most favorite breakfast. Beef or veal round steak, browned, then simmered until tender in browned tomato sauce, served over rice or grits. You use Tasso & Andouille instead of Ham in your Beans. Andouille (ahn-doo-ee) Cajun sausage made with pork Tasso: (tah-so): Thin cut highly seasoned smoke cured ham. Modem is something done to grass. A mouse pad is a home for Mickey & Minnie. A screen helps keep the bugs off the porch. On line is where you stay during a field sobriety test.

Fax is what you lie about to the I.R.S. Backup is what you do when you see a skunk in the woods.