NLP For Business & Personal Success Online Manual

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NLP for Business & Personal Success
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NLP for Business & Personal Success Manual
-1email: jamie@saladltd.co.uk 2002 Jamie Smart www.saladltd.co.uk

Table of Contents
What is NLP? .......................................................................... 3 The Fundamentals................................................................... 4 Presuppositions ...................................................................... 5 Rapport ................................................................................. 6 Outcomes & Directions............................................................. 7 Sensory Acuity ....................................................................... 8 Representational Systems ........................................................ 9 Representational System Predicates ........................................ 10 Eye Accessing Cues ............................................................... 11 States ................................................................................. 12 Anchoring ............................................................................ 13 Bibliography ......................................................................... 14 Recommended Reading.......................................................... 15

What is NLP?
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed starting in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, when they set out to model the work of geniuses in the field of human communication and change. The term NLP is used to describe both the approach to modelling that they used, and the powerful models of communication and change they created (and that they and others have continued to develop.) In the Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual (1999), Richard Bandler describes NLP as follows: NLP is an attitude, characterised by the sense of curiousity and adventure and a desire to learn the skills to be able to find out what kinds of communication influences somebody and the kinds of things worth knowing; to look at life as a rare and unprecedented opportunity to learn. NLP is a methodology based on the overall operational presupposition that all behaviour has a structureand that structure can be modelled, learned, taught and changed (reprogrammed.) The way to know what will be useful and effective are the perceptual skills. NLP has evolved as an innovative technology enabling the practitioner to organise information and perceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that were once inconceivable. In Whispering in the Wind (2001), Grinder & St.Clair describe it thus: (NLP) is a modelling technology whose specific subject matter is the set of differences that make the difference between the performance of geniuses and that of average performers in the same field or activity About that name Neuro The nervous system, including the brain and the five senses. Linguistic The verbal & non-verbal language symbols with which we code & transmit meaning. Programming The ability to structure our neurological and linguistic systems to achieve certain results.

The Fundamentals
The fundamentals of NLP are straightforward: 1. Know what you want (Outcome / Direction)
One of the key NLP questions is What do you want?. The human nervous system can be thought of as goal-seeking, and you tend to get what you focus on. Well-formed outcomes are an important tool for ensuring that you get more of what you want in your life. 2. Get the attention of the unconscious mind (Rapport)
The map is not the territory. You must start where the person you wish to influence is (the Present State.) Rapport is the process of getting the attention and trust of the unconscious mind. 3. Know whether youre getting what you want (Sensory Acuity) Once you know where you want to go, you need to be able to notice (using one or more senses) whether or not you are going there. Sensory acuity refers to the ability to notice the signs that you are moving in the right direction (or otherwise.) 4. Adjust what youre doing accordingly (Behavioural Flexibility) Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. When you notice that you are not getting what you want, you need the flexibility to change what you are doing in order to get a different result. Intelligence is the ability to have a fixed goal and be flexible about how you achieve it.

Presuppositions
The following list is a selection of presuppositions or assumptions of the NLP model. They are not true, but can be very useful for successful communication & influence. The map is not the territory Each person is unique Having choice is better than not having choice. People make the best choice available to them at the time Every behaviour has a positive intention. The meaning of the communication is the response you get. There is no failure, only feedback The resources the individual needs are already within them. The meaning of a communication is the response you get There is a solution to every problem There is no failure, only feedback Mind and body are one system The one with the most flexibility of thought and action is most likely to succeed Challenge: Consciously adopt one or two of these presuppositions as beliefs (you can pretend to believe it if you dont really believe it) in situations that have seemed stuck in the past, and notice what changes.

Rapport
Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the attention of someones unconscious mind, and meet them at their map of the world. It is more commonly understood as the sense of ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Rapport can be established on many levels: speaking the same wearing similar clothing language breathing at the same rate supporting the same team matching body language having a common interest matching voice tone Rapport is a starting point for successful communication and influence, and the rapport built up with techniques such as matching and mirroring can give the impression of a deep sense of connection and trust (the basis of the we like people who are like us school of influence.) Matching and mirroring often develop spontaneously, and are a good sign that you are in rapport with someone. Matching will develop rapport; mismatching will reduce it. When mirroring isnt appropriate, you can build rapport by cross-over mirroring (eg. Matching their breathing rate with your speech rate.) Try matching: Body posture Hand gestures Half body Head tilt Vocal qualities Key phrases Predicates Eyeblinks Facial expression Energy level Breathing Anything else
Pacing and leading is the key to influencing people. It refers to meeting them at their map of the world (pacing) and then taking them where you want them to go (leading.) The simplest, most effective test for rapport is if you lead, they follow. Challenge: Discover how many different ways you can develop rapport with people in your day to day life. NB Choose low risk situations to experiment with at first.

Outcomes & Directions
The human nervous system is goal-seeking and will always tend to organise around a specific result or set of results. These results are referred to in NLP as outcomes. A well-formed outcome or direction has the following attributes: 1. Stated in the positive (What do you want?) Negatives are not processed by the nervous system in the same way that they are linguistically (eg. The command Dont think of a purple hippopotamus is difficult to obey.) It is therefore most effective to state any desired outcome or direction in the positive. 2. Sensory evidence (How will you know when youve got it?) The outcome should be evidenced in terms of what you will see, feel and hear when youve got it (at the very minimum.) This gives the nervous system a rich representation of the desired result. 3. Initiated & maintained by the individual who wants it It is not possible to control the behaviour and internal states of other people; we are only responsible for our own behaviour and internal states. Well-formed outcomes cannot be dependent on the behaviours and emotions of other people. They must initiated and maintained by the person who wants the outcome / direction. 4. Preserves the positive by-products of the current situation Every behaviour and every current situation (including problem states) has some positive intention, often outside of conscious awareness. It is important to maintain this in the desired state / situation. 5. Ecological The desired outcome must be appropriate to the wider system to which the individual belongs. It is important to examine how it will affect (eg.) family, friends, colleagues, financial situation, time availability, sense of self etc. Challenge: Discover how many areas of your life can become more effortless and enjoyable as you begin to structure what you want using the well-formed outcome conditions.

Sensory Acuity
Watch and listen! This is one of the main secrets to becoming highly skilled at NLP. The processes taking place inside a persons mind are reflected to a greater or lesser extent on the outside, in such phenomena as: Body posture Hand gestures Head tilt Vocal qualities (tone, rate, volume etc) Key phrases Sensory predicates Eye-blinks Pupil dilation Rapid eye movement Facial expression Facial symmetry / asymmetry Lower lip size Energy level Breathing rate Breathing patterns Skin colour Muscle tonus Pore dilation Sentence length Non-verbal utterances Involuntary movements Metaphors Anything else you can perceive!
You can train your senses to perceive more and more of what is happening in the other person distinctions that would previously have been invisible. Tip: Minimise your internal dialogue by breathing deeply, relaxing your throat muscles, placing the tip of your tongue just behind your upper front teeth and letting your jaw drop slightly. Youll see and hear more! If your internal dialogue interrupts your awareness, say Shut the &*!% up! inside your head. Repeat as necessary. Challenge: Choose a different area of behaviour from the list above to pay attention to every day. Notice how quickly its possible for you to begin seeing and hearing more and more that was previously invisible.

Representational Systems
According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary to represent something is to call up in the mind by description, portrayal or imagination. Representational systems (rep systems) are the means by which human beings are able to do this. In the Neuro Hypnotic RepatterningTM Manual (2000), Richard Bandler and John La Valle offer the following description: Human beings experience themselves and the world they live in through the primary modalities of the five sensesSeeing, Hearing, Feeling, Smelling and Tasting. The sensory modalities by which people encode, organise, store, and attach meaning to perceptual input are referred to as REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS. As sensory input is internally processed (re-presented), it is translated into corresponding sensory representations (or maps) that constitute a likeness or synthesis of the original perceptual input. This may seem obvious, yet very important to remember..."reality and out perceptions of reality are not the sameThe Map is not the Territory. When people are thinking, they are using representational systems to do so. By paying attention to the things people are doing and saying, it is possible to get intuitions about which representational systems are in consciousness at a given point in time, and which ones are out of consciousness. These intuitions will give you additional choices as a communicator. Clues to which representational systems are being used to process can be found by paying attention to: Spoken language (see Representational System Predicates) Eye movements (see Eye Accessing Cues) Hand gestures Breathing Head position Voice tone Voice pace Challenge: Become curious about how many different ways you can find to figure out the rep systems someone else is favouring.

Representational System Predicates
One of the easiest ways for you to get a sense of the rep system someone is favouring at a point in time is through their language. As you become more aware of the sensory specific words that people use, you will begin to become more sensitised to the rep system they are most aware* of using to process at that moment. Below are some examples of words that indicate a particular rep system for an exhaustive list, see Appendix A. Visual (see) Auditory (hear) Kinaesthetic (feel) Olfactory (smell) Gustatory (taste) See, perspective, view, focus, look, light, clear hear, sound, say, tell, talk, tone, ring, click, clear Feel, handle, grip, hold, heavy, light, hang, light smell, scent, stink, essence, rotten, odour, sweet Taste, sour, bland, tasty, tangy, sharp, salty, sweet
You will also notice people using turns of phrase that indicate certain preferences, for instance: That rings a bell; we just clicked; do you hear what Im saying I see what you mean; look at it from my point of view It feels good to me; get a handle on this I smell a rat Just give me a flavour of this
When you use language from the same rep system(s) that the person you are communicating with is using, it creates more trust and rapport. If you mismatch their rep systems, it will diminish the level of trust and rapport. Challenge: Start noting down the words and phrases that you see and hear other people using and that you feel indicate a particular rep system preference. You will discover that many people are not consciously aware that they are using rep systems. If you have some purpose for making them aware of this, do it gently!
- 10 email: jamie@saladltd.co.uk 2002 Jamie Smart www.saladltd.co.uk

Eye Accessing Cues
You may have noticed that when people are thinking, their eyes often move. These movements correspond to certain mental activities and, while each persons specific eye movements are unique to them, a general pattern has been observed (see diagram.)
This diagram shows the standard eye accessing positions for a person facing you, ie. what you would see as you look at them. Position Visual Remembe red Visual Constructe d Auditory Remembe red Auditory Constructe d Internal Dialogue Kinaesthet ic Description Remembered images. Invented images, future images. Recalled sounds. Invented sounds. Talking to themselves. Feelings and emotions. Elicitation Example Remember what you saw on your last holiday. What colour is your front door? Imagine your best friend with purple hair. Imagine a giraffe with the head of a rhino. Recall your favourite persons voice. Hear a song you like. Hear a cat miaowing the national anthem. Say your name backwards. Tell yourself that you can enjoy learning easily. Who was your last phone conversation with? Can you feel your socks on your feet? How do you feel when you laugh?
Tip: Make sure you are looking at the person when you elicit eye accessing (or any other) responses these can go by fast.
- 11 -
email: jamie@saladltd.co.uk 2002 Jamie Smart
www.saladltd.co.uk

States
States are configurations of physiology and neurology, body and mind. The following words can be thought of as descriptions of certain states: Love Happiness Confidence Sadness Joy Creativity Flow Nervousness Amusement Affection Fear Focus Comfort Relaxation Trance
Each of these words describes a different experience for each person. Problems & Solutions When people are experiencing a specific problem, there is typically a state associated with that problem. Similarly, when a person finds a solution, or experiences the resource they need to provide that solution, it too is usually wrapped in a state. For this reason, the ability to alter your own or someone elses state is very useful. External Signs There are usually external signals that accompany a particular state. When you imagine someone who is feeling ecstatic, they are likely to look different to someone who is feeling down. These differences are also likely to be evident in voice analogues (eg. Tone, volume) and many other external signals. Eliciting States You can experience any state that you have felt at some point in your life. One way to do this is to think of a time when you had the state you want, then step into the experience. See what you saw, hear what you heard and feel what you felt you will start to sense the state building. You can then anchor this experience (see Anchoring) by squeezing your thumb & forefinger together and saying the name of the state, just before it peaks. You can then reaccess the state by firing this anchor. Tip: If you want someone else to access a great state (Eg. Excitement), go there first yourself. Challenge: How many great states can you build & anchor?

Anchoring
An anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. For instance, the word lion will immediately trigger images, sounds etc associated with the word lion. The word chocolate will trigger different associations. These words are anchors. Anchors can operate in any representation system. Some examples: tonal (eg. the special way a certain person has of saying your name) tactile (eg. The effect of a certain type of handshake) visual (eg. The way people respond to certain items of clothing) olfactory (eg. The effect of smelling fresh lemons) gustatory (eg. The taste of your favourite food)
Once again, an anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. It is conceptually similar to Pavlovian conditioning (ie. bells and salivating dogs), with the exception that it is often possible to set an anchor with a single trial. Setting anchors Anchoring is particularly useful for helping people to recreate certain states. In order to get a strong anchor for the state, it is important to a) ensure that you have a powerful example of the state to work with b) anchor in as many rep systems as possible c) set the anchor just before the state peaks d) fire the anchor accurately. Precision counts! Tip: When you (or someone you are with) are experiencing something you want to have more of, anchor it. Challenge: Practice setting and firing anchors with the people you meet from day to day. Choose a different rep system each day and notice how many naturally occurring anchors you can find.

Bibliography
Neuro Hypnotic RepatterningTM Manual, Richard Bandler and John La Valle, Society of NLP, 2001 Whispering In The Wind, John Grinder & Carmen Bostic St. Clair, J & C Enterprises, 2001 Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual, Richard Bandler, McKenna Breen, 1999

Recommended Reading
Introductory Frogs Into Princes, Bandler & Grinder, Real People Press, 1979 The first popular NLP book, this is a transcript of a number of seminars given by Bandler and Grinder, and really captures their attitude and gives a very solid look at many of NLPs key elements. NLP: The New Technology of Achievement, NLP Comprehensive, Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 1994 A bumper crop of personal development NLP techniques and some background about the field. Unlimited Power, Anthony Robbins, Simon & Schuster, 1988 A good overview of many of the areas and techniques of NLP, as well as a lot of other good personal development material.
Recommended Reading (continued) Advanced Magic in Action, Bandler, Meta Publications, 1992 Annotated transcripts of Richard Bandler working therapeutically with clients. Amazing! Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H Erickson MD Vol 1, Bandler & Grinder, Meta Publications, 1975 The language model B&G created of Milton Ericksons approach to indirect hypnotic communications. Persuasion Engineering, Bandler & La Valle, Meta Publications, 1996 NLP and sales from two masters in the field. The Structure of Magic, Bandler & Grinder, Science and Behaviour Books, 1975 The book that started it all B&Gs first model of language and change. Trance-formations, Bandler & Grinder, Real People Press, 1981 NLP & the structure of hypnosis excellent. Using Your Brain for a Change, Bandler, Real People Press, 1985 Richard Bandlers first exploration of submodalities indispensable.
Exercises
Most of the following pages are handouts on out Introductory trainings, Some of them however are exclusive to this online manual.

Outcome / Direction Exercise Done in pairs, A & B
B asks A to think of an outcome SHe wants (eg. a material object, a skill, a behaviour, a way of being, a situation.) When A has made a choice, B helps A to make the outcome well-formed using the following questions (B, pay close attention to the words A uses and their body language as they say them): 1. What do you want? The outcome should be stated in the positive (Eg. I want to be slim & healthy not I want to lose weight) 2. How will you know when youve got it? What is the sensory evidence ie. what will A see, feel, hear (smell & taste optional) when they are getting their outcome. 3. Is the outcome initiated & maintained by you? The wellformed outcome is not dependent on the behaviours & emotions of others. 4. Does it keep the good things about the current situation? Well-formed outcomes preserve the positive by-products of the current situation. You can also ask the following: Is there anything you might lose as a result of getting this? and Are there any good reasons not to change? 5. How will this affect the wider system you are in? Your family? Your friends? Your job? Gives context; an ecology check. 6. Where and when do you want this? Further ecology check. 7. What resources will you need? 8. Why do you want this outcome? What will it get you? What will it do for you? This question explores their motivation for wanting the outcome (not part of the well-formed conditions, but useful.)

Meta Mirror Exercise
Choose an A and a B. B will guide A through the exercise. Place two chairs facing each other, A sits in one of them, facing the empty chair. The chairs will be (position 1) & (2), and an area off to the side will be (meta - position 3). B will guide A through each of the positions in turn. 1. A identifies a situation where they have a challenge relating to an individual, and chooses a name for them. It could be their real name or a pseudonym (person X etc). A then sits in position 1. a. B invites A to imagine in full detail that person sitting in the chair in front of them (in position 2). B help A to get a vivid representation by saying things like see how they are sitting & breathing, how they are looking at you etc. b. B invites A to describe their kinaesthetic reaction to that person. i.e. How do you feel when you see this person now. Where do you feel that etc. c. When B has collected enough information (a few seconds for some people, a couple of minutes for others, no more though.) Invite A to stand up and leave all that stuff in the chair. Literally say, As you stand up now, leave all those feelings with a representation of yourself in that chair and invite A to shake themselves (this physically alters As state, making it easier for them to leave that stuff in the chair. 2. B invite A to sit in the chair where they visualised person X (into position 2) and literally become them for a few moments, As you do so say, As you sit in that chair, I want you to become (person X) only for the purposes of this exercise, and only as much as its safe for you to do this a. B help A into the role of person X, say see what you see, hear what you hear, and feel what you feel as you are (person X) Notice their posture, breathing etc. if the posture and breathing have changed significantly from what you observed when they were in position 1, then continue. If they look the same, get them to stand up, shake it off, and repeat step 2 & 2a. b. B ask A (pretending to be Person X) to see person A sitting in the chair in front of them & describe how they feel about A. When you do this, refer to them as
(person X). eg. So (person X) as you sit here, you can see (person A) sitting there, how do you (person X) feel about them c. B, once you have enough information (usually a few seconds is enough, no more than a minute) Invite A to stand up and leave all that stuff in the chair. Literally say, As you stand up now, leave all those feelings with a representation of (person X) in that chair and invite A to shake themselves. 3. B invite A to step into meta-position 3. This is a position outside the interaction of A and Person X. Say. As you stand here, looking at these two people sitting there, (include names if you wish) I want you to put a headline on the relationship between these two people. B, you want a one or two word answer from A to this. a. If A mentions themselves in the first person. i.e. I think that Person X needs to grow up etc this is an indicator that A isnt disassociated enough. Move them to meta position 4 (another point in the room where they can see the two chairs) to get even more disassociation. Repeat as necessary. 4. Now B, move A back into position 1 (repeat step 1), bringing all that information with them, say as you sit back down, allow all that weve done to integrate fully. Wait until A looks ready to continue, then ask A if they feel better about Person X. If yes, then youre done. If No, then repeat to steps 1-4.

Circle of Excellence Done in pairs, A & B
B asks A to think of a situation in the future which appears challenging. When A has made their choice, B helps A identify resources that will be beneficial in that situation. A then anchors those resources and future paces to test how much the added resources helped. 1. 2. 3. B asks A to identify a future "challenge" situation A identifies resources that would be beneficial in that situation (i.e. confidence, calmness, excitement) B asks A to imagine circle on the floor and vividly imagine themselves in a past situation where SHe had those resources (to make the anchor even more powerful ask A to paint the circle their favourite colour) A steps into the resourceful state inside the circle. B uses their tonality, gesture, energy level congruently to help A access the state, saying See what you saw Hear what you heard Feel what you felt B, remember to watch for posture/breathing changes that indicate A has fully entered the state. B can either anchor the state in some appropriate way (Eg. with a touch) or ask A to anchor the state themselves. B asks A to vividly imagine the 'challenging' future experience, step into the experience & fire the anchor (remember precision is important when firing anchors) Future pace: Get A to repeat step 6 with at least three situations in which it would be helpful to have those particular resources
4.
5. 6.
7.

Peripheral Vision expansion exercise
Done in groups of 3. Choose an A, B and C. 1. A and B stand shoulder to shoulder facing C and about 1meter away from C. 2. C look at a point in between A & Bs shoulders.
3. A & B begin to move your outside arms in slow smooth movements. Stay in one plane, no forward or backward movement. And vary the pattern so that C cannot learn it.
4. C keeps looking at the point in between A & Bs shoulder. As C does so S/he moves their arms in time with A & Bs. 5. A & B, the object of the exercise for you is to train C to be able to do this really well. So if you see that C is not following your movements accurately, slow down your movements until C can keep up. Always keep C at the edge of their comfort zone. 6. C will not be able to keep both arms in time if S/he looks directly at one arm or the other. It is only possible to do this exercise in Peripheral vision. 7. Rotate so that everyone gets a go at being A, B & C.
VAK Card Exercise In groups of four - six: A, B, C, D, (E), (F). Part 1 For this youll need to put two chairs facing each other. 1. A & B are going to sit facing each other having a conversation about something that excites them. 2. C stand behind As chair with a deck of VAKOG cards. D stand behind Bs chair with another deck of VAKOG cards 3. A & B simply start having a 2 way conversation. 4. When C hears A use a sensory word (see below) S/he flashes up the appropriate Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory or Gustatory card next to As head, so that B can see it. 5. D do the same for B If you have a person E/F its their job to stand at the side and watch and listen to the conversation between A & B and provide assistance to C & D when necessary. 6. Rotate so that everyone in the group has a chance in each position. Part 2 Repeat part one. A & B notice which cards are being shown to you more and attempt to guide the conversation to use even more sensory words. The table below shows some example words from each rep system.
Visual Look, see Imagine Visualise Focus Brilliant Bright
Auditory Hear Sound Listen Ring Buzz Recall
Kinaesthetic Feel Grasp Hold Push Drive Tough
Olfactory Smell Sweet Rotten Fishy Fragrance Funky
Gustatory Taste Bitter Sweet Sharp Salty Bland
Eye Accessing Cue Question /Requests Exercises Done in pairs. Choose an A & B. 1. Before you begin. a. Print out the table on the next page, A & B are to have one each. b. In the column marked Rep Systems, write one of the rep systems from page 11 (Visual Remembered, Auditory constructed etc) c. Under the Question/Request column write a question or request that will make a person access the rep system that you wrote in the rep systems column. d. Do this for all of the rep systems, there are enough rows to ask two questions/statements for each rep system. e. Examples of rep system questions: i. When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror? (VR). ii. Hear the sound of a dog barking the national anthem (AC). iii. See your best friend with polka-dot hair (VC). iv. Tell yourself something nice about yourself (Id). v. Hear the theme tune to one of your favourite TV shows (AR). vi. Feel the sensations in your right big toe (K) 2. B sit facing A, so that you can see their eyes. 3. Ask them one of your questions and watch what happens. a. Tip: Read the question to yourself, then look at A and ask the question. Eye accessing is usually very fast, if you read from the sheet when you ask the questions youll miss the accessing. 4. Mark down on the smiley face what As eyes did. 5. Repeat 3 & 4 until youve done all your questions. 6. Swap round.

Rep System Question / Request
a.
b.
c.
d.

- 25 email: jamie@saladltd.co.uk 2002 Jamie Smart
www.saladltd.co.uk

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