Josef Hoenzsch History of Sexuality in the US Essay #3 Due: 04/17/13 Rue McClanahan Takes a Stand With the prominence

e of a traditional nuclear family in post-war America, there seemed to be no place for gay men. Though the ideal nuclear family seemed to glorify closeness and acceptance of family members, there was little room for sexual variance. With the prominent post-Stonewall rise of the gay rights movement, the nuclear family began to shift and many forms of media in popular culture made social commentary on attempts at new acceptance of non-heteronormative members in a familial sense. An episode of the popular sitcom The Golden Girls aired in 1991 where a character deals with her brothers sexual orientation as well as his intention to marry his partner. This episode revealed much of the social atmosphere of the 1980s and early 1990s as far as the place gay men had within a familial construct and as well as the social implications of their sexuality becoming public. In order to understand the implications of The Golden Girls episode, it is important to understand the social climate of the era that came leading up to its release. Families were seen generally seen in an ideal heteronormative light. Gay men struggled with this ideal. In the late 1970s and early 1980s, studies found that many homosexual men experience their husband or father role as incompatible with their homosexual identity and further [t]hey feel that their family roles cannot be reconciled with their

homosexuality.1 A personal anecdote from Meme English about her HIV+ fathers experience at an AIDS clinic in 1987 demonstrates this: As a routine part of her history-taking, she asked, Sexual preference? My father, who had not had heterosexual sex in fifteen years, said Heterosexual. I said, Dad you can tell the truth here. He looked at me with a face that had survived a gay-bashing twenty-five years before, a face that no longer knew the truth. He said, Can my daughter answer these questions for me, my throat is hurting real bad.2 Even though at an AIDS clinic that dealt with gay men every day, this man could not bring himself to identify as a homosexual. The stigma of rejecting the heteronormative role he had played for most of his life was too much for him to overcome, for he felt identifying as gay would be to relinquish his paternal role. This plainly shows the conflict between familial roles and non-traditional sexual orientation. The social climate of much of the 20th century led men into believing that must fulfill a heteronormative paternal role in order to be accomplished as a man or raise a family. The idea of a family with gay parents did not have prominence until much later in the century. Many of these attitudes of a paternal and homosexual role being mutually exclusive can be seen all throughout the 20th century. For example, in 1945, a man named William Billings, in a letter stating his exclusively homosexual attractions, stated he maymarry [a woman] out of duty, convention, and [his] love Strommen, Erik F., You're a What?: Family member reactions to the disclosure of homosexuality." In Homosexuality and the Family. (New York: Harrington Park Press, 1989), 44. 2 English, Meme., "Transgenerational Homophobia in the Family: A personal narrative." In Lesbians and Gays in Couples and Families: A handbook for therapists. (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1996) 23.
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of children.3 The reasoning Billings may have had to do this was in order to preserve both his and his familys social standing so as to not seemingly tarnish their name, thus showing how he felt his homosexuality was incompatible with a conventional family. Though the above cases and discussions relate to a fathers homosexual identity, there seemed to be no place for a homosexual member of any kind in an ideal family in the mid-20th century. The ideal nuclear family emphasized closeness within a family, but also berated breaking heteronormative practices. Heather Murray, in Not In This Family, discusses a comic in which a girl comes out to her mother. The mother initially showed praise at her daughter being open with her and for them having a close connection, but quickly followed up with Dont tell your father!4 Society urged gay children to attempt to change their sexual orientation or embrace a heteronormative lifestyle despite their sexual orientation. Murray wrote gays actively repressed their true selves and tried to perfect a social self that fit into society more.5 Gay men of the time felt trapped into falsifying a heteronormative life to the point of marriage in order to prevent social perception of them as deviant and to not seem as if they had renege[d] on the maturity or commitments of adult life.6 With these social pressures, gay men found little to no place in society, let alone their families. Television has long stood as a tool for social commentary. Sitcoms nearly infallibly make political statements, or at least comment on sociopolitical events, through

Heather Murray, Not in this Family: Gays and the Meaning of Kinship in Postwar North America (Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2010), 67. 4 Murray, Not in this Family 105 5 Murray, Not in this Family 9 6 Murray, Not in this Family 10
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their episodes. In 1991 there seemed to be a push, albeit met with heavy criticism, for seeing gay couples in the same light as heterosexual ones. The first televised gay kiss occurred in an episode of L.A. Law to many advertisers outrage7. However, a whole month before this, The Golden Girls made a political statement of its own. They portrayed a gay couple that had the intention to marry before gay marriage was legal in any state in the USA. The way in which this episode was scripted as well as the audience reactions reveals a lot not only about the progressiveness of the television program, but also how families dealt with gay relatives. The culmination of the episode Sister of the Bride dealt with some poignant social topics in the late 20th century. Beginning to come out of an era of repression and hiding ones sexuality for the sake of social acceptance, the gay rights movement was gaining enough ground that there became an opportunity for discussion about gay marriage and relating heterosexual and homosexual love as equal. This episode of The Golden Girls targeted an audience of families that were dealing with the hardships of accepting a nonheterosexual family member. Being a primetime, popular television show, The Golden Girls reached a huge and diverse audience of both conservative and liberal backgrounds. This provided an opportunity to start dialogue on homosexuality and the family throughout a wide demographic. The clip provided starts with a woman Blanche, her gay brother Clayton, his lover Doug, a few of Blanches other friends, and a woman Susan approaching their table. After Susan introduces herself, Clayton makes an attempt to introduce his fianc Doug,

Wood, Jennie, "Timeline: Gays in Pop Culture." Infoplease, http://www.infoplease.com/entertainment/gays-in-pop-culture-timeline.html (accessed April 17, 2013).
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however he is quickly cut off by Blanche shouting Fire! Fire! Everybody out!8 The humour in this scene is found by Blanche being less embarrassed by seeming crazy by shouting about a non-existent fire than having someone find out her brother is gay. This tells us exactly how adamant families seemed to be about remaining heteronormative in societys eyes, which was perhaps the main obstacle in accepting non-heterosexual family members. Clayton touches on this in his response: What did you mean when you told me you could accept my being gay? Did you mean it was okay so long as I was celibate - it was okay so long as I didn't fall in love? Doug's a part of the family - my family. And if you don't like it, you don't have to be a part of my family.9 This shows the conflict between the ideal, close, heteronormative nuclear family and how the definition would need to alter in order to maintain that closeness between the members of the family. This reveals not only the desires of the gay community in this era, but also how non-heterosexual family members came to be segregated or alienated from their families. The character Blanche finds most of her struggle in wanting her familys social image to be exactly heteronormative. When confiding in her friend Sophia, she says Oh look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?10 This expressly states a common tendency of the time to want to repress or hide homosexuality within a family (as well as reiterates her stance from an earlier portion of the episode in which she humorously says shes fine with her brother goldengirlpalace., The Golden Girls S0614 Sister of the Bride, YouTube (Accessed April 17, 2013). 9 goldengirlpalace., The Golden Girls S0614 Sister of the Bride, 10 Ibid.
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being gay so long as he dates women instead11). The oldest character in the show, Sophia, then works as the voice of reason in support of Clayton. A very probable reason for having the eldest character be the one spurring on acceptance of gay relationships is to diverge from the idea that acceptance of gay couples is for young, liberal people. The following dialogue shows the call for equality in heterosexual and homosexual relationships quite plainly: Sophia: Why did you marry George? Blanche: We loved each other. We wanted to make a lifetime commitment wanted everybody to know Sophia: That's what Doug and Clayton want, too. Everyone wants someone to grow old with. And shouldn't everyone have that chance?12 This moment put an emphasis on love and how homosexual relationships were no different from heterosexual ones in this respect. This clearly shows the political agenda of this episode of The Golden Girls in its attempt to equate heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Especially in an era where many people chose to lump immoral sexual deviancy and gay relationships as one and the same, this claimed more than anything else that gay relationships were every bit as valid as heterosexual ones. It attempted to reconcile the social desire to be considered normal (heteronormative) with the acceptance of homosexual individuals. Blanche soon leaves to confront Clayton and Doug and in doing so she furthers a call to equality in perception of gay versus straight relationships. Instead of approaching her brother, she goes directly to Doug and asks him if he loves Clayton, which he
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Ibid. goldengirlpalace., The Golden Girls S0614 Sister of the Bride,

responds in the affirmative to. This again shows the romantic and almost heteronormative side to the gay relationship between Clayton and Doug. In equating the heterosexual and homosexual relationship through romance, the episode is attempting to influence viewers to see gay relationships in a heteronormative light, or at least one that is not contradictory to the idea of families that was prevalent in the 20th century. Clayton then calls out Blanches earlier rejection of Claytons sexuality by saying Doug loves him for what [he] is, not for what he wants [Clayton] to be.13 This attacks the social pressure that many gay individuals felt to hide or pretend to alter their sexuality and makes a point that sexuality is something immutable and part of who a person is. Further, this dialogue presents how an individual may perceive a family rejecting their sexual orientation as them rejecting the individual altogether. The episode is attacking the idea of repression within families. What comes next in the scene definitely is very revealing about the purpose of this episode and the era itself. Blanche says, I still can't say I understand what you're doing, but I do intend to try to respect your decision to do it. I want you to be happy.14 This is a call to the viewers that those who have gay relatives dont have to understand why their relatives are gay in order to accept and support them. This is perhaps one of the most poignant parts of the scene, because it attempts to provide a pathway for families to accept their gay relatives despite their reservations due to religious or social pressures. This scene also does not make light of the difficulty in doing accepting a nonheteronormative individual as part of ones family. Blanche states plainly that it is very

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goldengirlpalace., The Golden Girls S0614 Sister of the Bride, Ibid.

difficult for [her].15 Further, when Clayton asks Blanche if she is ready to have a new brother-in-law, his words are met with awkward silence followed by an audience laughing. This portion is comedic because the audience is well aware of the difference between accepting someone in theory and actually taking steps toward accepting a nonheteronormative family member. This shows how even though there may be those whod claim to support their family members no matter what, they would struggle with it in practice. There was a huge fear of ones peers judging ones family for divergence from heteronormativity. However, Blanche responds saying that she is, in fact, ready, which shows that it is something possible. Thus, the episode is making the point that one can be a part of a family and still not be heterosexual. The scene ends with dialogue that once more attempts to equate the heterosexual and homosexual relationship. Blanche comically says to Doug that Clayton isnt perfect and lists faults of his, to which Doug responds with the quip, And he snores.16 This shows that the struggles that heterosexual couples face are many of the same ones that homosexual couples face. This one last effort to show how a homosexual relationship can be, in many senses other than the genders of those in the relationship, can be heteronormative and like any other couple. This helps bridge the gap in peoples idea of a nuclear family and their ideas of what it means to be of a divergent sexuality. The recurring instances of portraying homosexual relationships as heteronormative in this scene reveals the strong grasp that heteronormative social pressures had on individuals in the 20th century.

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Ibid. goldengirlpalace., The Golden Girls S0614 Sister of the Bride,

Analysis of this clip truly shows how strong of an adherence to heteronormative ideals there was throughout the 20th century. The Golden Girls attempted to dispel the idea that one had to be heterosexual to be a part of a family. Though a sitcom could not change things overnight, the visibility of heteronormative gay relationships on television truly helped spur on acceptance of gay individuals in the social sphere. The wide demographics that were exposed to these shows were able to readily see an example of homosexual love something some of them may have never had a chance to see. The Golden Girls took a stand against social pressures to reject homosexuality by attempting to reconcile homosexuality and heteronormativity.

Works Cited English, Meme. "Transgenerational Homophobia in the Family: A personal narrative." In Lesbians and Gays in Couples and Families: A handbook for therapists. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers, 1996. 15-27. goldengirlpalace. The Golden Girls S0614 Sister of the Bride. Online Video Clip. October 18, 2012. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Fhg0pdnZCQ (Accessed April 17, 2013). 18:20-23:10. Murray, Heather A. A.. Not in This Family: Gays and the meaning of kinship in postwar North America. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 2010. Strommen, Erik F.. ""You're a What?": Family member reactions to the disclosure of homosexuality." In Homosexuality and the family. New York: Harrington Park Press, 1989. 37-58. Wood, Jennie. "Timeline: Gays in Pop Culture." Infoplease. http://www.infoplease.com/entertainment/gays-in-pop-culture-timeline.html (accessed April 17, 2013).