A Cuban Christmas Carol

By Adriana Abich

Characters: Narrator Raul Scrooge Cuca Cratchit Ghost 1 Celia Cruz Ghost 2 - Che Guevarra Ghost 3 Fidel Castro 3 Cratchit Children Scene 1 Scrooge is working at his desk. Narrator It is the day before Christmas in Havana and Fidel Scrooge, a mean, cranky, old man is working in his office when his secretary Cuca Cratchit enters. Cuca Cratchit Buenos dias, jefe! Raul Scrooge Good day? Whats so good about it? Cuca Cratchit Mr. Scrooge, tomorrow is Christmas. May I have the day off? Raul Scrooge No! Coo! Christmas is just another work day!

Cuca Cratchit Pero la navidad is a time for giving. Its a special time for people to share with familia and friends. Raul Scrooge Bah! Humbug! Its a capitalist holiday! Dont you think I have given enough, Cuca Cratchit? I gave all the peasants land . I made all of them literate, and I equalized the playing field for everyone in Cuba. Cuca Cratchit Except theres no jobs, no money and no Forever 21! Raul Scrooge Dont blame me! Blame the embargo! Damn Gringos! Cuca Cratchit Porfavor, jefe!? Raul Scrooge Bueno, take tomorrow off but I am going to take it out of your ration of soap and baby formula for the month. Cuca Cratchit Oh gracias jefe, gracias! But, what will I do without soap this week? Raul Scooge Take a Puerto Rican shower.

Cuca Cratchit A sponge bath! Good idea! Thank you, jefe. Hasta la Victoria siempre! Fidel Scrooge Bah! Humbug!

Scene 2 Scrooge is sitting on a bed wearing his Nightcap. Narrator That Night, Scrooge has a very bad dream because he ate a big plate of ropa vieja. He dreams that 3 frightened ghosts visit him, one at a time (Ghost 1 enters and stands by Scrooges bed.) Ghost 1 - Celia Cruz Azucar! Fidel Scrooge Cono! You scared the shit out of me! Who are you? Celia Cruz Celia Cruz, Viejo barbudo! I am the ghost of Cuba past. Follow me.

Raul Scrooge (rises and follows, they walk to one side of the stage) Amazing! I can see myself years ago when I was a young man. Ghost 1 Celia Cruz Yes and its1965. Azucar! Rum was flowing, you and your brother were hanging out at the Malcon. Christmas was still celebrated back then until 1969, when it was banned I think you liked Christmas back then, and I think you liked Cuba back then too. Azucar! Narrator The ghost vanishes. Then, a second ghost appears. (Ghost 2 approaches Scrooge) Ghost 2 Che Guevarra Compaero, Raul Scrooge Ave Maria! Companero Che! What are you doing here chico? I thought you were dead! Che Guevara I am so dont rub it in, ok? I am the ghost of Cuba present. We will now visit Cuca Cratchits family. The Cratchit Family appears on stage with empty plates. The youngest, Tito looks small and sickly.

Raul Scrooge They are eating Christmas dinner. Fidel was right when he reinstated Christmas 3 years ago. But, there is no food on those plates and Tito looks so small and sickly.?? Ghost 2 Che Guevarra Thats because they dont have enough food to eat compaero. You havent taught them. I told your brother, less money on armies, more money on industry and agriculture. But he didnt listen. He never listens! Raul Scrooge No! Che! Dont leave us again! Ill be sure to watch your movie with Benicio del Toro! Narrator This ghost also vanishes. Then, a third ghost appears. He is even scarier than the other two. Ghost 3 approaches Scrooge Ghost 3 Fidel Castro I am the ghost of Cuba Future. Follow me and you will see what lies ahead. But beware. It may not be a pretty sight. You havent been a very good man in recent months. Raul Scrooge

(He lies down on his bed and sleeps as if having a bad dream) Fidel! No please! I cant take any more of this!!! Scrooge wakes up from his nightmare. He is shaking from head to toe. He leaves. Scene 3 Cuca Cratchit is sitting on a chair. Three children are standing around him. Narrator The next morning, Scrooge visits Cuca Cratchit at home. Scrooge enters carrying a pig, mojo, rice and beans AND SOAP. Cuca Cratchit Mr. Scrooge! What are you doing here? Entre, entre. Raul Scrooge Ive come to wish you a merry Christmas. Cuca Cratchit I thought you said it was capitalist holiday designed for mindless consuming of materialistic crap? Raul Scrooge No! It is the celebration of the birth of Christ and a time to share food with family and friends. I brought you a lechon with mojo de ajo.

Cuca Cratchit Ave Maria del cobre! Did you hear that Tomasito? We are going to eat! Raul Scrooge Not only that I also brought you all bars of soap! EVERYONE Yay!!! Cuca Cratchit But I dont understand. I thought you didnt like Cuba, I mean Christmas. Raul Scrooge You were right all along Cuca. Christmas is a time for giving. Ive learned my lesson. Now I know its time for the U.S. to start giving. I think there new president Cuca Cratchit You mean the tall cute negrito that looks like hes from Matanzas? Raul Scrooge Yes. Obama. He knows we are all human beings and he will end the embargo and help us gain freedom once again. Cuca Cratchit We also need change and hope. Raul Scrooge

Yes we can! And a Merry Christmas to us all!

THE END