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Contents
Chapter
Contents Foreword What Is Self-Confidence? Chapter 2: Your Beliefs Chapter 3: Your Current Beliefs System About YOU Chapter 4: Creating A New You Chapter 5: Self-Confidence Boosters Other Best Selling Programs By Adam Khoo 3 4 8 13 19 23 28 43

Foreword
Imagine yourself striding towards the stage as you were being invited up on stage for a public presentation. And as you turn your head, you see those envious eyes pacing you until you finally stood still. With those bright and big eyes staring at you, you opened your mouth and spoke with assertion. As you looked down from the stage, you see the eyes of the audiences glued on to you. You think to yourself, "Wow." Can you relate to similar situations before? Well, most people cannot... Simply because they actively shy away from these opportunities to shine. Why? Because don't see it as a "blessing" to be given the opportunity to present their ideas. Rather, it's a "disaster" that might make them look like fools. It's a fact that many people fear having to present themselves not only publicly but also to other people. Yet, we all know that being able to present ourselves professionally and to sell our ideas is the most important sale we must make to be successful. So what's stopping them? It's the lack of self-confidence.

You Deserve To Have More Self-Confidence

No matter who you are and what your current circumstances are, you deserve to have more self-confidence. Look. There must be some obstacles you have overcome in your life to get to where you are or some personal achievements in life that you are proud of. So the goal of this book is to guide you to achieve the level of selfconfidence that you truly deserve. And the good news is...

Self-Confidence Can Be Developed

Let me give you a real case study... One of my Patterns of Excellence graduates, Dominic Tay, used to be shy and introverted. Things took a turn for the worse when he was tasked to lead the entire school to recite the National Pledge during his primary school... and he actually forgot parts of it out of anxiety! That was his first (and last experience) of getting on the stage in front of hundreds of people. Talking about bad childhood experiences! So for many years up to his tertiary education, he did his best to work on his self-confidence but nothing seemed to work. Thankfully, he attended my Patterns of Excellence course and mastered the techniques to develop his self-confidence. (I'll be sharing some of them in this book) Today, he not only overcame his bad childhood experience, he is also a Trainer at Leverage Leap (http://www.LeverageLeap.com)

where he shares his knowledge and experience in creating passive income using the internet.

If He Can Do It, So Can You

Everyone is born with the same hardware our mind. And the key difference between people who are confident and those who are not is simply: The way their mind is programmed to think about themselves. And the truth is...

All Of Us Are Programmed

And all of us are programmed on a subconscious level through the people around us and through events that happen in our life. The trouble is that most people are literally trained to be less confident in their lives most of the time, unintentionally. Put yourself into the time when you were a young student sitting in a class. What would happen if you raised your hand and you gave a wrong answer? If your teacher is like most teachers, they usually say things like, "What a stupid answer!" or they will unintentionally make you feel bad for giving it a shot. And it is through these negative programming that creates an internal resistance to share our opinions with other people. Now...

How Can We Overcome Any Negative Programming?

The first step is to understand how our confidence (or a lack of confidence) is developed, and that is covered in Chapter 1. In chapter 2, you will learn what "beliefs" are, how they are installed into our hardware and how they affect the way we look at ourselves. In chapter 3, we will identify how your mind is currently programmed and undo the negative conditioning. In chapter 4, we will be installing new beliefs to change the way you look and think of yourself permanently. For most people, this will be the chapter that will change the course of their life forever. Finally in chapter 5, I'll share with you 10 proven techniques you can use to boost your confidence starting from right away.

What Is Self-Confidence?
Have you ever observed people in a ball room before? If you have, you would notice 2 distinct groups of people. The first group of people walks around as if they are striding, with a straight posture and an arched chest. You can see these people smiling confidently most of the time and engaging in longer casual talks with other people as they seemingly 'flow' across the room, meeting new people along the way.

Most effective communicators have healthy self-confidence level

On the other hand for the second group of people, you can see them standing in a quiet corner, slowly sipping their water, intentionally avoiding attention. If they were ever forced to move across the room to get to the washroom, you would see them walking around fixing their eyes on the ground as they sneak across the crowd. If someone calls them along the way, they would lift their head reluctantly and then forcefully brighten up with a smile before hurriedly walking away. At best, they would stop at people they know and hang around them all night, avoiding strangers "at all costs". Well, I'm sure you have noticed these 2 categories of people in life. The first group of people beaming with self-confidence would have no qualms talking to strangers. It is their nature to walk around introducing themselves to new people and exchanging their business cards.

On the other hand, the second group of people will just wait for their people to walk over to shake their hands or they would stand in the corner of the room, hoping that nobody would notice them.

What Made The Differences?

There are in the same room, exposed to the same crowd and they have equal chances of meeting someone new. So what made the differences in their behavior? Is it because of the difference in their communication skills? Maybe. But if you look at all the differences and study their underlying reasons, it always point to one thing It's their level of self-confidence.

Your Confidence Level Determines Your Level of Success

Self-confidence is defined as "the level of which you believe in yourself and what you can do." And the level of which you believe in yourself and what you can do determines the potential you will tap... which in turn determines the quality of your life.

Level of Self-Confidence Amount of Potential Tapped Level of Success

It All Starts With Self-Confidence...

Without it, there is no way anyone will achieve their goals. Isn't it true? Let's be honest here... When was the last time you actually got something done even though you absolutely believe you couldn't do it? Even if it was done... Was it done exceptionally well? Of course not! Simply by believing that we cannot do it, we are actually subconsciously limiting ourselves from tapping on our full potential. That's why top sports coaches and athletes would always agree to this saying that "Sports are 90% mental and 10% physical".

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How Self-Confidence Created An Empire

After studying many successful people, I discovered one thing in common that is, they know what they want and they are relentless in the pursuit of their goals. And no matter how tall the obstacles are, they will always find a way to overcome them. Now, can you imagine having 1,000 doors slammed shut or a thousand No's told to you... and still have the perseverance and the level of self-confidence to go to the 1,001th door? Who in the right mind would be able to withstand that amount of rejection? The answer: Colonel Sanders. Did you know that he went door to door for over a 1,000 restaurants to sell his secret chicken recipe, before someone finally agreed to buy?

And all starting with just one "Yes", it gave birth to the KFC Fast Food Restaurant that we now know today. Imagine for a moment that you had the same level of perseverance and self-confidence as Colonel Sanders... How many of those goals you've set for yourself now seems more possible to achieve? If you're like most people, the answer would be... ALL of them. You see. There is nothing we cannot achieve as long as we set a goal, have absolute confidence we can achieve them... and we persevere until we do.

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What Determines Your Self-Confidence

Have you heard of people saying that "we are a product of our environment"? Sadly, that's often true that the people and the events that happen around us shape our levels of self-confidence. (Good news: We'll learn how to undo all these conditioning in the later chapters) If someone hangs around people with low self-confidence as they are growing up, they usually ends up suffering from low selfconfidence too. Let's look at some scientific facts: Research has shown that during our crucial developmental stages (usually before age 11), we tend to use people around us as a role model or a 'standard'. We tend to model the way they speak and the words they use, their gestures and their behaviors.

And at such an impressionable age, we will often even pick up the same beliefs system and habits both empowering and disempowering ones. So what are some of the disempowering beliefs young kids might pick up? - "I take a long time to learn because I'm not smart." - "I can't do it." - "I got a bad grade in Mathematics just because of some mistakes. How can I be so stupid?" - "My parents are not giving me the level of attention I need. Maybe it's because I'm not good enough to deserve their love" Unfortunately, the beliefs we formed when we are young are often brought into our adulthood, limiting our potential. So in the next chapter, you'll learn what "beliefs" are, how they are installed into our hardware and how they affect the way we look at ourselves.

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Chapter 2: Your Beliefs

Why is it that some people are able to achieve so much more out of their lives than others? Why are some people able to deliver a power-packed presentation confidently... while others quiver at the thought of it? Is it because they have a lot more talent and capability? Do they have superior resources that other people lack? You and I both know by now that this is not true at all. Did Mahatma Gandhi come from a powerful family that gave him the self-confidence and the power to establish a power base to liberate India from the British? No! He was just an ordinary man, a lawyer. And using the law taught to him by his colonial masters certainly wouldnt have freed India. Instead, gentle Gandhi used the power of peaceful assemblies, his confidence to bring and persuade tens of thousands to sit in peaceful civil disobedienceuntil the British caved in. What set him apart were the incredible beliefs he had about the moral rightness of his cause... and the powerful beliefs that he CAN create a change. That gave him extraordinary strength to fight on, against all odds, and win. David against mighty Goliath. Beliefs are what empower seemingly ordinary people to achieve extraordinary things. At the same time, limiting beliefs are what keep most people, despite all their resources, from achieving what they really can. If you believe that you can lead others, then you will expect to attain nothing less than a management position. If you believe

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that you are nothing more than a follower, then you will not expect anything more than being just a front line employee. If you believe that you are capable, that you will expect to excel in every task you undertake. However, if you believe that something is impossible, that it cannot be done, will you take action? Not likely. Even if you did, you would probably stop the moment you hit a problem. As a result, you may have all the potential in the world, but you will not tap into it. And sure enough, you will not get the results. When this happens, it will further reinforce the belief that it just cant be done. In other words, your beliefs will drive the actions you take, and how much of your personal potential you will tap. When you believe that something is possible, you will go all out to make it happen. You will take massive action and have the commitment to keep doing whatever it takes to achieve it. As a result, you will tap a lot of your personal potential. For example, if you dont believe that you can ever build a successful company, you wont even attempt it. Even if you did go into business, you will quit the moment something goes wrong because you had limiting beliefs that It is just too difficult or I dont have what it takes.

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Beliefs: The On/Off Switch To Our Personal Potential

So you see, when we believe that something is possible, we will inevitably summon all the resources we have to support that belief. We will switch on our creativity, energy and resources.

Does this mean we will be able to produce the exact result that we envisioned? Not all the time. But having a belief of possibility will allow us to produce results far beyond what we would have done if we had no belief to begin with. At the same time, if you believe that something is beyond your reach, you shut out the possibility of ever achieving it. You switch off your own personal potential. And since self-confidence is all about believing in yourself and what you can do (your capabilities), the key belief you need to work on is YOURSELF.

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You Are What You Eat Believe!

If our beliefs have such a great impact on the quality of our lives and even our physical well-being, then we must begin to examine if the beliefs we have are empowering us or limiting us. And if our beliefs are limiting us, we must begin to change them! What you must understand is that the beliefs you have are never absolutely true. Beliefs are not proven facts. They are nothing but perceptions, opinions, generalizations we make about the world around us. For every belief you hold, no matter how much you think it is true, there is always somebody out there with a totally opposite belief. And to them, their belief is as valid as yours is to you.

Whatever You Believe Becomes True for You!

Although beliefs are never absolutely true, it becomes totally true for the person who believes in it! This is simply because whatever you belief becomes your reality. If you believe that you are stupid, then you will become stupid. If you believe that you are intelligent, then that is what you will experience. If you believe you are unlucky, then you will be unlucky. If you believe that great opportunities come your way, it will become true for you. Perhaps Henry Ford says it best: "Whether or not you believe you can or you believe you can't... either way you are right!" Why is this so? Because our beliefs are one of the key filters that determine how we perceive the world around us. At any point of time you do not experience reality, but you experience your own perception of reality. Our brains are always deleting and distorting what we see, hear and feel. This is why two people can experience the same event, yet both perceive it very differently. For example, if two people had an argument, both parties will have very different accounts of what had happened. It is not so much that one or the other is lying, but both parties delete and distort what they experienced, depending on their personal beliefs. Have you ever experienced a time when your parents believed you were irresponsible. You could do a hundred things responsibly, but they only remember the couple of times when you were irresponsible. Aha youre doing it again! they say.

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We do the same things to our friends, family members and our colleagues. Once we make up our minds to hold on to a belief, we will tend to focus on all the times our beliefs are supported, and fail to notice all the occasions when our beliefs are invalidated. So, whatever we believe, becomes real for us. It becomes our truth. Remember: Self-confidence is defined as "the level of which you believe in yourself and what you can do." So if you believe you are incapable, then you will tend to focus on evidences to support that... and it becomes true to you. I have seen so many instances when a persons belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever you believe strongly about becomes a reality. This is because you take all the actions that support that belief, thus encouraging the result. Some people I know have a belief that they are incapable. They believe that they are slow learners and they don't have the skills and adaptability to succeed in life. As a result, they focus on all the things they take very long to learn. This keeps reinforcing their belief and will prevent them from taking up any opportunities to learn something new.

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How Were Our Beliefs Created?

So how did we form the beliefs that we have today? Most of them come from modelling the significant people around us like our parents, teachers and friends. We tend to take on beliefs similar to those people who were most influential in our lives.

If our parents believe that they can never be rich because of the current family background, you are likely to take on those beliefs yourself. If you grow up in a family where nobody finished school, then you would likely have a belief that education is difficult or not important. The fact is, many of our beliefs also come from our past experiences. Remember, that the beliefs you have are nothing but perceptions and interpretations you make about these past experiences. However, the trouble is that after a while, we forget they are merely perceptions and begin to accept them as absolute truths. That is when they become commands embedded in our brain, and begin to determine how we live our life. While some of the beliefs actually empower us, many of them limit us at the same time. For example, beliefs like I am bad at Math, I am a slow learner, I cannot relate well with others, I am lazy or I am too young or too old.

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Chapter 3: Your Current Beliefs System About YOU

In the previous chapter, weve learned how our beliefs are formed. In this chapter, let's take a moment to find out...

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What Limiting Beliefs Do You Have About Yourself?

Remember, what you believe in becomes true to you and it amount of potential you will tap... and therefore, the level of results and success you will achieve in your life. So, do you have any limiting beliefs about yourself that are hindering you from moving forward? Let's find out. I want you to take all the time you need and list them all down below. 1. What do you believe about yourself?
Do you believe that you are a fast learner or a slow learner? What are some words you would use to describe yourself? Do you believe you deserve to succeed? Do you believe you deserve a loving relationship?

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Next... 2. Based on what you've written, look at those disempowering beliefs and for each of them, list down how they were first created.

3. What are the evidences that support each of these limiting beliefs?

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Now that you know how your limiting beliefs are created, it's finally time to invalidate them. You can do this by asking yourself these questions: 1. "What else can this mean?" 2. "Is there a counter example?" For example, someone found that their belief of "I'm a slow learner" came from the evidences that they took several attempts to understand something while their friends got it at first glance. By analyzing this 'evidence', they can begin to change the meanings of these experiences. Their taking several attempts to understand something could simply mean that they were not using the approach to learn that will work best for themselves. It could also mean that they were not interested with the subject to start off with, while their friends are... so they are not motivated to understand the topic, and not because they are slow learners. And on the other hand, maybe they could think of topics or subjects they are passionate about (like the mobile gadgets)... and think of instances where they knew exactly how to go these sophisticated gadgets to work wonders... while their friends took hours to figure out.

So let's start doing the same thing for your limiting belief. Do the next part of this exercise now! 4. How can I challenge and break these evidences? What else could it mean? Is there a counter example?

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Chapter 4: Creating A New You

Once you have shaken the foundations of the limiting belief, you must then create a new empowering belief to replace the old limiting one. Remember, you are your beliefs. What belief would be useful in empowering you to take action? For example, if the old belief was, 'I'm not good at anything', look for instances where you got things done despite the odds. And then install the new belief that "I am a capable person". If your limiting belief is, "I'm a slow learner", look for all the examples where you learned something faster than the rest, and install the new belief that "I'm a fast learner". Write down your new empowering beliefs right now. 4. My new empowering beliefs about myself.

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Once you have created the new beliefs, find new evidences to support each of them by asking: "Were there times in the past when this belief would have been true?" For example, when Dominic wanted to install the belief that "I am a confident speaker", he looked back into his life and wrote down those times where he shared his opinions confidently to small groups of people. Now if you want to adopt the belief that "I am a fast learner", was there a time in the past when you were very fast at learning a new skill? For every belief you have, you can definitely find evidences to support it. If you have to, look in books or go on the internet. And if you cannot really find any evidences at all, make it up! Thats right. The mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is clearly imagined. This was exactly what Roger Banister did when he set out to break the worlds record in distance running. Find and write down all the evidences you can find that will support this new belief. I want you to take all the time you need and list them all down below. 5. For each of the new beliefs, list down new evidences to support them.

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Now, it's one thing for you to create new beliefs, but it's a whole other thing for you to install them into your mind permanently. I bet you have heard of the saying: "Old habits die hard", haven't you? So, it's time for us to...

Install Your New Beliefs

Finally, I want you to take some time and use the power of visualization to install this new empowering belief. I want you to close your eyes and bring yourself into the future. How would you behave differently with this new empowering belief? What would you go for that you didnt in the past? What new decisions would you make differently? How would you benefit from this new belief? Maybe you will join Toastmasters and to overcome your public speaking fear? Maybe you will speak with more assertion and confidence from now on? Think about it a year from now. Two years from now. Five years from now. Ten years from now. Write down all the ways you will benefit from having this new empowering belief.

6. By adopting these new beliefs, I will make the following new decisions and take the following actions.

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7. By adopting these new beliefs, I will benefit in the following ways.

Now that you've successfully installed your new beliefs about yourself, in the next chapter, I'll share with you 10 additional techniques for you to take your confidence to a whole new level.

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Chapter 5: Self-Confidence Boosters

Here are 17 ways to boost your self-confidence. You may not be able to apply every one of them into your life all at the same time. So simply choose a different technique to apply into your life every day until you are really good at each of them. You can then start applying another technique in the list below to incorporate them into your life.

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#1: Make a List of Your Accomplishments

At a young age, we were taught to work on our weakness in school. As a result, most of people rarely keep track of what they are already good at. Instead, they place all our focus on improving their weaknesses or on envying others for their unique capabilities rather than looking at themselves and giving recognition to what they are already good at. Forget the inner voice that's saying things like, "But I got nothing special" or "I don't think this is big enough to be considered as an accomplishment." In the spaces below, I want you to write down all the accomplishments in your life, no matter how big or small.

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Now, to take it to the next level... Copy what you have written down above into a blank new sheet of paper. Then, paste it anywhere you would see every morning. Look at the list, add on to it every day, and remind yourself that you are special and unique in your own way.

#2: Reframe Your Negative Experiences

Have you ever wondered why some successful people appear to be confident than the rest? Why do they seem unstoppable no matter what obstacles are thrown in their way? Is it because they have lesser problems in their life? Not so. In fact, successful people have the same problems and worries as everyone else. It is just that they look at problems very differently. Instead of perceiving these negative experiences as "problems", they treat as "learning experiences" that will help them grow. And instead of treating these "problems" as "stumbling blocks" that will stop them, they look at them as "obstacles to overcome". And that explains why different people with the same "problems" might take different solutions.

For example, bankruptcy. What do you think most people in debt for millions of dollars would do? Most will lose confidence in themselves, give up in life... while some will resort to the "easy way out" (committing suicide), right? But not Donald Trump. Despite being in debt for millions of dollars, he retained his selfconfidence and persevered. In just a few years, he regained all his wealth and even more. So how was he able to do all these? He documents his "secrets" in his book, "The Art of the Comeback". The gist was that he was able to reframe the entire "bad experience" into a "learning experience". You see, reframing is one of the most powerful techniques a successful person must have. It is the one skill that would give people the power to not just survive, but also to prosper in the toughest of times. And that's why I teach it in my Patterns of Excellence course. There are 2 different types of reframing content reframing and context reframing. Content reframing is the process of changing a negative experience into a positive one by changing the meaning of the experience. Context reframing is the process of changing a negative experience into a positive one by changing the context from which it is perceived. Take for example you were wrongly scolded by your boss for not putting in enough effort in your work. You can use content reframing and say: "Good! I now know that my boss doesn't appreciate my work. With my current experience, I'll go find

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another boss that will appreciate me more. I might even be able to get better prospects and more job satisfaction."

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#3: Take Control of Negative Experiences

My success mantra has always been to take 100% responsibility for everything that happens in your life no matter how ridiculous it may be. Why? Simply because by not taking responsibility, we are actually giving away our control and power over our own lives... and putting it into the hands of other people. Now, can we control all the events that happen in our lives? Definitely not.! But here's the good news... It's not what happens in your life that determines the quality of your life (the outcome). Rather, it's the response we choose to adopt that affects our lives. When a certain stock crashes, people can choose to cut their losses and invest what's left into winning stocks to recoup their losses (and possibly even make profits by doing so) ... or they can choose to blame the stocks, the companies, the stock broker and continue to lose even more. So remember this: Events + Response = Outcome No matter what happens, we always have a choice to choose the response. And it is this response that determines the quality of our results and lives.

And by taking 100% control over our lives, we'll inevitably give ourselves the power and confidence to shape our future.

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#4: Face Up to Your Fears

If we allow our fears to take over us and control the actions we take in our lives, the results will only reinforce our fears and make them stronger. Fear and doubt are possibly the top 2 killers of self-confidence. They stop us from taking certain actions that we know would drastically impact our lives. For example, all salespeople understand that the key to being successful in the field is to meet more clients and close more deals. However, how many of them would actually get those things done? The answer? A small minority the people who no longer fear meeting strangers and asking for a sale or a future meeting after the first one. On the other hand, the other salespeople allow their fears to stop them. They are afraid of making cold calls, asking for referrals, closing a client and the fear of being rejected. As a result, they have very low self-confidence whenever they meet a prospective client. And because of their lack of self-confidence, the client wouldn't feel comfortable doing business with them. And this loss of sale just further reinforces the fear of rejection. I want you to list down your fears truthfully.

In the space below, list down all the fears that are stopping you from achieving your goals.

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Next, think of how they are hindering your success right now.

Good, I assume you have completed the exercise above. Now, let me ask you a question:

Have you ever had the experience of doing something you've always been afraid of... only to discover that it isn't really that bad (as we've imagined)? In fact as part of the Patterns of Excellence LIVE program, I will get my participants to break a wooden board with their bare hands. Even after I've demonstrated that it's possible, most of them will still hesitate. Why? Because they fear that either the board wouldn't break (and it will make them look bad)... or the board would break and they will get injured. Of course, the latter never happened and those wooden boards usually break in their first attempt. And after the whole exercise, I will always ask the question: "How many realized that this (breaking of the wooden board) seems tougher mentally that it is physically?", and I'll see all of the hands raised up. Look, our mind is the greatest movie director. They tend to exaggerate our fears. But once you physically challenge these fears, you'll realize just how easily they will shatter like hammer slammed against a thin glass. For example, if you are afraid of doing public speaking and it is a must for you to overcome it, write down what are the things that you must do in order to succeed in public speaking. You can join the toastmasters club... take up public speaking courses... and so on. If you are afraid of talking to strangers, you can start by talking to someone you've never spoken to before in your office.

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Of course, you would feel a little bit uncomfortable at the start because you're out of your comfort zone. Do it a few more times and you'll be free from your fear in no time. In the spaces below, list down at least 3 actions you will take to overcome each of those fears.

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#5: See "Failures" As Feedback

Let me ask you a question. What is the difference between confident and successful people and the rest? Is it because they are luckier? Is it because they achieve their goals the first time, all the time? Of course not! In fact after studying successful and confident people, I realized that these people possibly failed more than anyone else.

Thomas Edison didn't invent the light bulb on his first time. It took him 1,000 times. Colonel Sanders didn't sell his secret chicken recipe the first restaurant he went to. It took him 1,009 times. Henry Ford didn't create a profitable car business on his first time. He went broke 5 times before he founded the successful Ford Motor Company. Bill Gates didn't create his successful empire called Microsoft on his first time. He failed his first business he co-founded with Paul Allen (Microsoft's co-founder) called Traf-O-Data.

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There Is No Such Thing As Failure, Only Feedback...

To avoid that, we must first understand that not achieving our goals are part and parcel of achieving success. Not achieving our goals are just feedbacks rather than 'failure'. These feedbacks serve a purpose to tell us why we are not achieving our goals. It could be that we are not motivated enough to achieve our goals. It could be a feedback that we have been using an ineffective strategy. Or it could simply mean that we don't have the skills and resources required to achieve what we want. Using the feedback, we should then improve our strategies to propel us towards our goals. The key to setting goals is to start small. Let's say you want to do achieve the goal of overcoming stage fright in public speaking in one year's time.

First, start by setting a small goal like attending a seminar and then going up to 2 complete strangers to talk to them after the event. After you have achieved that goal, you can then start setting larger goals like speaking to at least 5 people in a group at one time. With that momentum, you will slowly but surely bring yourself nearer to the eventual goal of overcoming stage fright. Break up the major goals into smaller achievable chunks first. This way, when you achieve each minor goal, you will gradually improve your self-confidence and self-esteem. To find out more about Goal Setting, go to: http://www.underachievertomillionaire.com

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#6: Take Pride in Your Opinions and Ideas

People who lack self-confidence often keep their ideas to themselves because they think that their ideas are not good enough. If you want to improve your self-confidence, you have to first stop doubting your ability to come up with good ideas and start taking pride in your opinions and ideas. After all, what is the worse that would happen if your idea is not accepted by the others? Nothing much, but you get a free lesson on persuasion!

#7: Practice Positive Body Language

Intuitively, our body language (physiology) is subconsciously influenced by the way we think and the emotional state we are experiencing at that moment. And that's why we can usually tell when someone is sad, angry, disappointed or happy.

But if you have studied Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) before, you would know that by changing our physiology (the way you stand, the gestures you use, the focus in your eyes, the way you breathe and so on)... we can experience a different emotional state almost instantly. Let's test this out. I would like you to stand in front of a mirror and smile as much as you can until you have a big wide grin on your face. Now I would like you to think of the things that have made you angry or sad in the recent times. Go ahead and do it while you maintain the big wide grin on your face all the time. Did you manage to experience any sadness or anger? It's nearly impossible! Instead, you would be feeling good and confident about yourself. The same is true when you slouch your shoulders forward, relax your eyelids and your facial expression and you take deep breathes. It's virtually impossible for you to teach of happy things and experience happiness while you are in that physiological state! Instead, you will feel uncertain, disappointed and even sad. So, using the same technique of manipulating your physiology, can you trigger the emotional state of total confidence? The answer is: You CAN! Here's how... First of all, sit in front of a mirror, close your eyes and think of a time when you felt totally confident. Think the things you think,

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breathe the way you would breathe, gesture the way you would gesture and stand the way you would stand if you're totally confident. And once you've done it right, you would be experiencing a state of confidence right now. Once you are, open your eyes start noticing your physiology. 1. 2. 3. 4. Are your eyes muscles focused/relax? Are you standing straight/slouched? Are you breathing deeply/taking small breathes? What is going through your mind right now?

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Next, take a deep breath and relax yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back if you would like to. Based on the exercise you've done just now, you've just discovered the secret lock combination to unlock the confidence state within you. If you would just adopt the exact same physiology, you will immediately put yourself into a state of total confidence. And to take it to another level, there is an NLP technique which you can employ to command the state of confidence whenever you want to... in just a snap of your fingers. That technique is known as anchoring and you can find a CD dedicated to this in my Patterns of Excellence program.

#8: Change The Words You Use

Instead of thinking what you cannot do like, "I can't do public speaking," say, "I have yet to develop my public speaking skills." Give it a shot right now. Which sentence made you feel better and more confident?

Listen. Just by changing the words or the way you phrase your sentence, you will change the way you view yourself and tap on more of your potential.

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#9: Visualize Success

Most people are probably best are imagining how badly things will turn out... and not the other way round. Ask yourself this question: When you do something for the first time, do you imagine yourself failing or succeeding? Ask anyone on the streets to do public speaking and take a survey. At least 80% of them will be visualizing how other people will be laughing at them rather than rounds of applause and standing ovations. Look. Our mind has a self-fulfilling prophecy mechanism. If you visualize yourself failing, you'll only get lousy results. Period. On the other hand if you only visualize yourself succeeding, that's all you will get. And even if you don't get it the first time, it will motivate you to do it the second, third and fourth time until you finally get the results you want. I have personally used this technique before I give a lecture. I have used visualization for speech-making, for play (golf) and even to pass my driving test! and believe me, it works every time. Before I go on stage, I would visualize myself going up, seeing the audience in front of me and seeing myself delivering a power packed talk. I would then see the audience responding and giving me resounding applause. I keep playing these images in my head over and over again. Eventually, by the time I actually step up on stage, I feel totally relaxed and confident because it is as if I had done it so many times before.

#10: Do Things That You Enjoy

Think about the last time you were forced to do or learn something. How did you feel? Not good, right? Now, did you know that doing things that you enjoy is one of the best ways to improve your self-confidence? It's true. Doing things that you enjoy makes you feel good. And naturally, you'll want to spend more time doing it... and even more time doing it well. And the better you are at it, the more confidence you will gain in yourself. It could be as simple as playing with little children, or it could be as exciting as conquering Mount Everest! In the space below, write down a list of activities you enjoy doing.

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So there you have it, the 10 techniques to improve your level of self-confidence which you need to achieve all the goals you set out to. Remember, whether you achieve the level of self-confidence you desire (or not), is the result of the effort you put in. Now, go ahead and start taking action right now.

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Other Best Selling Programs By Adam Khoo

Patterns of Excellence "Discover The *Patterns Of Excellence* That Only The TOP 1% Of Successful Individuals In The World Use To Become Extremely Rich, Successful, And Happy In Life!"

Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires - "Discover The *7 Steps To Financial Freedom* That Transformed Him Into A Millionaire At Just Age 26..."

Paving The Way To The Top "Breaking News! Singaporean Success Story Reveals The 6 Simple Steps That Pushed Him To Make $1,000,000.00 By Just Age 26!"