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World Discovers A Passion For Rugby

BANGER BANTER NEWSLETTER : January - June 2012

EXCLUSIVE Over A Heinnie Interview With

INSIDE

FIRST EVER MATCH REPORT Old Bangkok Bangers v Shanghai Shaggers

Stews Views

Ancient Quill

Five Minutes

Ask Nantida

Tom Kerr

You Will Always be A Banger

7. 8. 10.

Chairman Speak Banger Humour

Message From The Chairman, Roberto Guolo. Jokes To Brighten Up Your Day.

Inside Our Sponsor


Club Captains Blog Andrew Raming.

Interview With Peter Johansson. Tellus Thailand

12. Tates

13. Colts Captain 14. Etraineur


Jeff Francois Klentzi - You Must Read. Banger Ancients Speak - Grahame Fox. Nicholas de Boulliane Four Clubs - In Bangkok & Pattaya Tips For Eating Before A Game First Ever Bangers Match Report 2002

15. The Ancient Quill 21. Banger Ironman

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26. Other Rugby Clubs in Thailand 28. Rugby Ruffian

33. Banger Archives 35. 32 36 38 39. 40.

Rugby History Stews Views China Hand


Kevin Murphy

History Of Twickerham Stewart Gorman Banger Stringer In London Andrew Hjelmeland ex Banger Now In China

Extra Time

40. 45. 46. 3

Five Minutes No Walk In The Park The Healthy Banger Ask Nantida
Bangers On Bikes Charities Rugby Conditioning Techniques Resident Banger Rugby Therapist

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47.

Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Club Sponsors 2012 -13

Banger Banter

January - June 2013

You Will Always be A Banger

eally late with the Banter this year. Since starting the June newsletter, back in February, we have been taken on additional work. The Bangkok International Rugby Tens and the Bangers On Bikes Charity Ride, both club related projects that deserve our support. We are now back on track. In the Banter this quarter, we have broaden the content to include some intriguing rugby feature stories. With the British and Irish Lions in currently touring Australia, including stories with a global perspective was timely. The piece on the growth of the global rugby game is interesting. Not to be missed Some hot news. We are losing another club coach. Jeff Francois Klentzi. He has threatened to move a few times but this time it is for sure. Jeff is off to Singapore. The contribution he has made to the club has been enormous over the years. Our best wishes Jeff. The Colts win against the Selangor Dog in the SEA Challenge Cup three week ago, was special. One of the great wins in the clubs history. Twenty five Bangers turned up for the game on the day. A selectors dilemma. Still looking for contributors to the Banger Banter, Its not a big ask. Its your newsletter.

www.oldbangkokbangers.com

Editor
EDITORIAL
Roberto Guolo Andrew Tatam Andrew Raming Jeff Klentzi Tom Kerr Grahame Fox Hamish Watters Mike Gilbert Stewart Gorman Andrew Hjelmeland

PHOTOGRAPHY
Mike Laloli

PROOF READER
Roger Fitzgerald, Mike Laloli

WEBMASTER
Mike Laloli
Banger Banter January - June 2013 The BANGER BANTER is published quarterly for members, sponsors and friends of the rugby club. The Banger Banter can be downloaded from the club web site. Members contribute all editorial and photography. The layout and design is provided by Ruck Graphics, a member of the Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Club.

GUEST WRITERS
Peter Johannson
PUBLISHER

: Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club

January - June 2013

Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

elighted to be writing my column in this, my second year as Chairman of the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club. As I said a number of times, it is time for the Bangers to become a more professional and modern rugby club both on and off the pitch. During the season ahead we will witness a number of changes and face some challenges. We welcome a number of new members, coach and a committee. Whilst new players and a fresh approach can inject vigour and ambition, they cannot guarantee success. To me, this comes down to the attitude of the players, the coach, the supporters and the committee. We must accept that in an amateur rugby club, family and work commitments of our players and volunteers must come first, however, I do believe that if our attitude both on and off the pitch is right, then success will follow. We aim to embrace all that is good about rugby. Camaraderie and fun are as equally important as success. Make sure we celebrate and promote the game of rugby that is so much a part of our lives.We need your support throughout the club at all levels and I encourage you to play or watch our games, attend all of our functions. Not a big ask. Finally, I would like to thank all the members who give up time to support the club and work towards it future, without loyal members we would not have a future. Enjoy the season ahead. Ciao Roberto

Banger Banter

January - June 2013

AdMock

You Will Always be A Banger

Bridge Building

Joke of th Qua e rter

Staying Out So Late Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I dont know what else to do. Whenever I go home after weve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, youre obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wifes bum and say, How about sex?... and shes always sound asleep." In A Confession Box A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final atempt to get the man to speak. Finally the drunk replies - No use knockin mate - theres no paper in this one either. Mangled Manhood A man was in a terrible accident, and his manhood was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldnt cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for small, $6500 for medium, and $14,000 for large. The man was sure he wanted a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking quite dejected. Well, what have the two of you decided? asked the doctor. The man answered, Shed rather remodel the kitchen. 77 Years Young A 77 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. His friend who was 70 years old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 77-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.." On the way home the 70-year-old stopped at the bakery. He asked the sales girl "Do you have any rye bread?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said, "I want 5 loaves." She said, "Five loaves By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard." He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this except me."
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While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off.A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replies, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . .""Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women." The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four? " No Taking For 30 Days One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says "Oh just a beer". The bartender asked the man "Whats wrong,why are you so down today?". The man said "My wife and I got into a fight,and she said she would'nt talk to me for a month". The bartender said "So whats wrong with that"? The man said "Well the month is up tonight". Only 6 Weeks To Live An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to live." "But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great. I haven't felt better in years. This just can't be true. Isn't there anything I can do?" After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start going down the street to that new health spa and take a mud bath every day." Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?" "No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt." The Cowboy In The Barber Shop A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barbers chair and said, Ill have a shave and a shoe shine. The barber began to lather his face and sharpen the old straight edge while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful boobs that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room. She replied, Im married and my husband wouldnt like that. The cowboy said, Tell him youre working overtime and Ill pay you the difference. She said, You tell him. He is the one shaving you.
Banger Banter January - June 2013

AdMock

You Will Always be A Banger

Website : www.tellus.co.th.

Managing Director, Tellus Systems. Thailand


BANTER : Peter, can you please give us a little background on Tellus Systems Thailand PETER : Tellus Systems Limited was formed in January 2001, as a result of a management buyout from the Australian Dexion Group. The management team has been the same since 1999, thus a lot of local experience and stability is retained in the company. We have a factory in Bangplee where we produce Mobilux - our Mobile Space Saving office storage systems, which is being exported in the Asia/Pacific region, as well as the Middle East. BANTER : Tellus has a range of design, distribution and support services from industrial storage to service vehicle interiors? Which of these, is the strongest sector PETER : Industrial Storage and Office Storage Systems are the two bread & butter business lines, which are showing a constant growth over the years. However Material Handling Automation is a Thai and Western companies? PETER : Absolutely, there are many major Thai companies as well as foreign that are expanding their operations, not only in Thailand but also within the Indochina region. BANTER : How has Tellus developed its presence in the market over the past few years? PETER : At Tellus we have a work practice founded upon the philosophy of a constantly listening and learning organization, in order to always be able to provide whats right for our customers. We have therefore over the last three years added companies we represent in Thailand/Indochina in order to complement our previous portfolio of products and services to fit with the present and future market requirements. Its just as important to know what isnt right, as it is to know what is right, and Tellus has worked hard to develop that in-house expertise. In addition, we also have the resources from our principals when

business which is showing increasing interest from the Thai market, due to higher wages and shortage of labour. Automating manual processes also delivers predictable and consistent quality. BANTER : Can you give us a snapshot of the market in Thailand today ? PETER : Logistics efficiency is a growing trend in Thailand today, and the range of products and services Tellus offers complements this development. Companies are not just looking for products that stores goods in warehouses, but for smarts that improve efficiency and accuracy within the distribution chain. They are looking for ways to gain a competitive edge and thats what Tellus provides. BANTER : Presumably your target market are both
Banger Banter January - June 2013

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You Will Always be A Banger

required. BANTER : Are you active engaged in neighboring countries to Thailand ? PETER : Yes very much so, with representatives in both Vietnam and Cambodia. Sales into Laos and Myanmar has until now been on a direct sales basis. BANTER : How do you evaluate and measure the success of your efforts? PETER : That we are able to grow Tellus business by offering the market what it is looking for, also by the number of repeat customers. Additionally, Tellus export sales of Mobilux - our Mobile Office Filing Systems which we produce in Bangkok, demonstrates that it is a highly respected product wherever it is sold. An example of this is that Apple Computer Australia now exclusively uses Mobilux mobile and static storage systems by Tellus in its new Apple Stores in Sydney, Melbourne Adelaide and Perth. BANTER : Finally as you look two to three years down the track what are you most focused on to make sure the strength of the company continues? PETER : To make sure that the products and services offered by Tellus meets the needs and wants of our existing and potential customers. We are also introducing new technologies for more efficient storage and distribution of palletized goods. At the same time we want to guarantee a stimulating and rewarding environment for our employees, many of whom have been with us right from the start in January 2001.

Training Twice A Week - Just Be There


12 January - June 2013 Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

elcome to all those who share our common values of Fun, Friendship and Fraternity as a member of the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club. Since the last Banter six months ago, a lot has happened in our rugby world. We had a great run in the Thai Rugby Union competition last season culminating in a semi final win over our old foes the Southerners. Unfortunately we lost in close final against Luk Pradu, the Thai Navy side. It was our best finish ever in the Thai Rugby Union competition. Our final SEA Challenge Cup match took us to Kuala Lumpur to face the mighty Selangor Dogs. We had crowd and referee issues in the final ten minutes, taking away our well earnt lead to that point. We lost control of the game got from then on. The Club has committed to another season in this prestigious tournament. with home fixtures against Saigon and Kuala Lumpur and away fixtures against Manila and Jakarta. We will need commitment from all our players to fulfil these fixtures with our best possible team on the field to continue to spread the gospel of Bangers Rugby. Anyone interested in sponsoring the club to participate in this tournament please get in touch. It is an expensive tournament. Our Bangkok International Rugby Tens 2013 was again a successful event. We are indeed fortunate for the club to be part of this. All three club teams were involved with the Vets winning their division. Then there was the club tour to the Philippines for the Manila Tens. Great tournament and tour. We did not do so well this year. The competition was stiffer. Off the pitch though we were a real success. The Bangers know how to enjoy a tour rugby party that for sure. Last month we played the Bangkok Japanese in a friendly. This was in their preparation for the Japanese Asian Rugby Championship. It was a tough closely fought match with the Japanese winning the contest. They taught us an early season rugby lesson. The game was followed by a Banger family BBQ with our Japanese friends as our guests. A great late afternoon early evening followed. And finally, a couple of weeks ago, we played our first game in the SEA Challenge Cup this season against the Selangor Dog and recorded a mavellous win. Our first win ever in this competition. Lets build on this for the rest of the season. We have a lot of new members this year. Make them feel welcome in our great club.

Get out and support your


Banger Banter January - June 2013 13

You Will Always be A Banger

he new season is upon us and training resumes After a couple of disappointments last year, there is great excitement within the club as we look forward to the coming year. A warm welcome to the new Banger faces. I am sure you are going to enjoy the rugby and the legendary Banger hospitality. The Bangkok International Tens 2013 in February was a real success. We staked our claim on and off the pitch with the Vets winning their division. Players from all over the rugby planet enter this prestigious tournament and many new friendships are made. Id would like to take the time to wish the SEA Challenge Cup a happy second birthday. This unique tournament, allows the Old Bangkok Bangers to extend its rugby wings and play neighboring ASEAN rugby clubs. The home and way concept suits. It give the club the chance to export the Bangers creed of hard competive rugby and socializing. Last years visits to Ho Chi Minh and Kuala Lumpur were memorable tours and will long be remembered. In our first SEA Cup game this year, we played Selangor again and this time recorded a win. Our first ever in this competition. The Banger Colts played really well. We even beat Selangor in the Boat Race that evening!!!.The Old Bangkok Bangers are undefeated in the SEA Cup Boat Race competition. We will continue to practice and work hard to retain our position. Trainings on Wednesdays and Sundays continues and I encouraged all to attend these sessions. To play as a team we have to practice as a team, we are only as strong as our weakest link. Lets get stronger! Finally, thanks to the dedication of the committee and club members. None of this would be possible without your unwavering support.

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January - June 2013

Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

Interim Coach, Cyclist, Triathlete, Parachuist etc

he Bangkok International Tens 2013 has come and gone. Particularly proud of the Banger Vets winning their division in the tournament. They deserved it playing inspiring rugby all weekend. Two weeks ago, the Colts played their first game in this years SEA Challenge Cup against Selangor and recorded a win. Last season was hard one for the club in both the SEA Cup and the Thai Rugby Union competition, but we must learn from our experiences. A measure of us as a team will be how we respond to those experiences and turn them into our strengths. There are areas we need to work on and last season will give us a sound spring board. Many of the games we played were won and lost on small margins. This season will not be about margins - it will be about control, determination, understanding, application and focus. This will only come if we are willing to work together as a team with a clear understanding that we are accountable both on and off the pitch. In order for the Old Bangkok Bangers to be a great club, we must be aspirational with our goals and dare to be great. Not a big ask. This will be no less a challenging season than the last. What we do know and have proven, is that we can compete in the Bangkok Sports Club Tournament, the Thai Rugby Union competition and the SEA Challenge Cup We have nothing to fear, but make no mistake anything less a one hundred percent commitment to training, preparation and playing will see us fall short of our potential. We will continue to move forward as a club and rise to the challenges ahead. I am looking forward to the new season and working with all Bangers players. See you at training.

Banger Banter

January - June 2013

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You Will Always be A Banger

Banger Ancients aka Whippersnappers t is most encouraging to see that the GREY POWER of the Ancients is growing in stature and volume. The turnout at the recent Bangkok Sevens Tournament was very encouraging. At least 25 players donned the hoops for our so-called exhibition match on the Sunday. I dont understand why it was called an Exhibition as all Ancients played with full spirit and purpose, in keeping with the Rules of Ancient Rugby. We had a vigorous, bloody, spiteful, encounter, but then the Vodka ran out and we had to make our way down to the pitch. An even more confusing battle then ensued as our club photographer tried to sort us out for team photos Was the action controlled ? Sure was, by a professional referee. He had flown in from Spain for the tournament, and had never heard of Ancients Rugby but, once we explained the rules he got into the spirit of things and really added to the spirit and excitement of the game. Following our traditional prance onto the pitch, and the Wai, we moved to our positions on the field of dreams. To everyones surprise the Referee was wheeled out in a Medical bath chair ,wearing an oxygen mask and looking like he was at deaths door. The chair was pushed by a giant penguin! Once we extricated the referee from the chair, and chased the penguin off the pitch, the game got under way. For those who have not reached the age where they qualify for Ancients level rugby, certain rules need to be explained. THE TACKLE -This is a catch and release move. The defender must have two firm hands on the ball carrier, but cannot take him to ground. The ball carrier must cease to resist. THE BREAKDOWN - The ball carrier must roll the ball through his legs, as you would do if on the ground The dummy half cannot be caught with the ball, so should quickly (ha ha) pass. THE LONG SCRUM - Scrums are uncontested, and usually 3-man. However, we sometimes need a breather after a furious minute or two of excitement. Any player who feels like a rest will join their side in the scrum. The Half puts the ball in then everyone leans together and rolls the ball back and forth until refreshed, then the ball comes out. THE BLUE CARD - In keeping with the Ancients Spirit, no player shall excel in their endeavors. If an individual is scoring too many tries, or running too fast, the referee will issue him with a Blue Card. The card tells the player, Leave the pitch, scull one beer then return. You may recall that there were more than six cards shown during the match. THE RESULT - The objective of Ancients Rugby is to revive the old spirit of the game in our old hearts, and enjoy the Fun, Friendship and Fraternity we all have known throughout our rugby lives. To this end, we have paraphrased the old SAS motto Who dares wins with our creed Who cares who wins. With this in mind, it is a rule of Ancient Rugby that every game will end in a draw. The real spirit of Ancient Rugby was shown after the match. By happy coincidence, we had set up camp alongside the Tiger Beer Bar. The Tiger ladies were very friendly and keen to keep filling up our jugs. Songs were sung and teams were cheered. The Thai Navy team got special attention. We then moved back to our club house at Tenderloins where Andrew Lamont, our very generous Heineken sponsor, left a heap of cash on the bar for us to continue to imbibe his great beer.

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January - June 2013

Banger Banter.

Yuji Kitahara

You Will Always be A Banger

with
Bangkok Japanese Rugby Club

itah, as he is known to his friends, is perhaps Bangkoks most well known expat rugby player. Trains and plays rugby not only for his own club, the Bangkok Japanese but also with the Old Bangkok Bangers and the Southerners. A man that just loves the game and cannot get enough of it. Read on.......... BANTER : Where are you from in Japan ? KITAH : My home town, Kitsuki city in Oita in Kyushu Island is located at western Japan. It is local town and my mother and younger sister are living there. My wife and two sons are living near Tokyo. BANTER : Growing up what sports did you use to play? KITAH : I used play various sports like softball, dodge ball, football and sumo wrestling till end of primary school depend on the season. At high school I played baseball. Unfortunately, there was no rugby club or team till high school. BANTER : Who were some sporting heroes of your as a kid ? KITAH : Mr. Sadaharu Oh and Mr. Shigeo Nagashima were heroes who played as Tokyo Yomiuri Giants, one of the famous professional baseball team
Banger Banter January - June 2013

in Japan. BANTER : Do you have fond memories of those early days in Japan? KITAH : When I cooked by myself during summer camps at the beach or on the mountains in grade three and four in primary school. I was happy to was able to be cook on the bonfire for my class mates. They were very happy too I suspect. The girls made stir-fried vegetables etc. I still remember the beautiful starlit night at it end of summer. BANTER : You were transferred to Bangkok with a travel company. ? KITAH : Yes, my company planned to establish and open new branch office in Bangkok, so I moved to Bangkok from Singapore where i was located in June, 2005. BANTER : You took up rugby late in life? KITAH : Yes, I started when I was 37 years old at Singapore. I played with both the Singapore Japanese and and Bedok Kings there. BANTER : You seem to be enjoying your rugby with both clubs the Old Bangkok Bangers and the Bangkok Japanese KITAH : Yes, I enjoying being to involved and playing with both clubs. Unfortunately on Sunday both clubs train at same place around the same time, so I cannot make it too both - always. But I am trying. I

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You Will Always be A Banger

also attend the Bangers Wednesday session at NIST. BANTER : You play multiple roles in the forwards. What position do you prefer ? KITAH : I prefer loose head prop than tight head prop now. BANTER : Tell us about the Bangkok Japanese Rugby Club.? KITAH : The Bangkok Japanese Rugby Club was established in 1964. It will be 50th years anniversary in next year. Whilst we are called the Bangkok Japanese, we have a number multinational players from England, Argentina, Cameroon and Thailand as members. We have more than 40 registered members and around twenty five are players, ranging in from 26 and 50. Our motto is We enjoy our life through rugby. BANTER : The Bangers matches against the Bangkok Japanese are always tough games ? KITAH : Yes, for the last two three years, our matches have been tough close encounters. I think that the Old Bangkok Bangers and Bangkok Japanese are two of the leading international rugby club teams in Bangkok. We are competitors but remain the best of friends. BANTER : The Bangkok Japanese place a strong emphasis on a developing junior team ? KITAH : Correct. We established the junior team in 2006. The numbers of junior players have increased over the years however, this year the number are down. I am very proud of them. They play hard clean rugby but always within the spirit of the game. I hope that some of them will continue playing rugby and some day go on to represent Japan. BANTER : I understand you are the president of the club this year ? KITAH : No, I am the club captain. until the end of February 2013. BANTER : Last year The Bangkok
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Japanese were ASEAN Japanese club champion. KITAH : Yes, we were the champion in year 2011. I get to that later in the interview BANTER : You always seem to be training or playing rugby. Its a big part of your life? KITAH : Yes, thats right. Nobody believes me, when I say my first priority is work and the second is rugby. BANTER : What do think makes a good club rugby player ? KITAH : Believe in your rmates, Respect your teammate, your opposition and the referee, Dont blame the errors. Good spirit and heart. BANTER : I see you Guinness is your favourite beer ? KITAH : Yes, its my energy drink. I may not survive without it! BANTER : What motivates you during a game? KITAH : Hard tackles by your mates. BANTER : Who are people that been the big influence on your rugby career? KITAH : Mr. Hitoshi Ohno (Toshiba Brave Lupus), Jonah Lomu, New Zealand and John Smit. South Africa. BANTER : What is has been one of your best sporting moment on the field? KITAH : When the Bangkok Japanese became the Asian Japanese club champion last year. The semi final against Shanghai I remember, was a especially tough game. All the Asian rugby cups were in our hand last year. The Sawadee Cup, the Andaman Cup, the Oriental Cup and the Asian Japanese Cup in a tri-nations competition with Singapore and Malaysia. BANTER : What is some of the best advice you have ever received ? KITAH : No pain no gain! No retirement in rugby life! I totally agreed the following comment by Jean-Pierre Rives. Rugby football transfigures a boy into an adult early most, and makes a boys soul bear against an adult forever. BANTER : What are some of your interests outside of rugby ? KITAH : Travelling, Drinking....... BANTER : Japan is going to get the Rugby World Cup. You would have to be happy about that ? KITAH : Personally, very happy. More importantly however, to make the Rugby World Cup 2019 a real success. We would like to cooperate with the Japan Rugby Football Union and be part of their long term plan to make this World Cup event successful for everybody. BANTER : Thanks for your time KITAH: You are welcome, thank you very much for asking me.

January - June 2013

Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

hen I was shipped out from the UK to Thailand (hard times!), one of the last things on my mind was taking part in any excessive exercise after having let rowing control my life for the previous 18 months. Rugby was just about as far as I was going to go! Unfortunately, a combination of dirty triathlon/fitness chat with Jeff the Banger rugby coach and enjoying the finer parts of Bangkok, I felt the urge to take on the challenge of Ironman 70.3 Phuket and join Jeff on the start line. For those who dont know (so most sane people), this race comprises of a 1.9km swim, 90km bike and finally a 21.1km run. As if this isnt hard enough, the course in Phuket throws up its own particular challenges. The swim is in the sea for 1.3km before having to run over a sand-dune and into a freshwater lagoon. At two points of the bike, you have to dismount to cross over a motorway bridge (I believe the only race in the world to have this) and in the last 30km, a series of hills and steep ascents results in many people walking up. Finally the run switches from cross-country, gravel and concrete on multiple occasions just to throw you off your rhythm. Id been training for three months. This combined with the games in Bangers cup run in the Thai Rugby Union competition, I felt I was fit enough, The race itself did not disappoint and Thailand decided to throw everything it had at us. The normally flat sea decided to be rough and full of big swells making it a tough start to the race. The 3 hours on the bike were incredible, cycling through amazing landscapes only for the heavens to open in typical thai fashion causing flooding on some of the roads. You tend to get worried when the water reaches your ankles when cycling! Finally, the race could not be complete without the sun coming out on the run and proceeding to bake all the competitors. For me, getting through the race in one piece and enjoying almost every minute of it (having to dive into the bushes near the end with stomach issues was not such a highlight) and having some of the Bangers on the finish line waiting with beers was an incredible experience and hopefully one I will get to repeat sometime in the future. Im also looking forward to seeing more Bangers doing it next year as rumours circulate of people hitting the pool and the bike.
22 January - June 2013 Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

Banger Banter

January - June 2013

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long with many other traditional pursuits,rugby is hurtling towards a future it can barely comprehend. At the Hong Kong Sevens, Kenya are always a genuine threat and Brazil appeared for the first time. A 40,000 crowd watched Madagascar beat Namibia last year, with 15-a-side interest also rising in Thailand, the Philippines, Moldova and Venezuela. Afghanistan now has a national team. And on it goes. Welcome to a sport exploding in myriad different directions. In Russia there is such a well-established, professional league that players relocating to the English Premiership have to take a pay cut. In the United States the sport has obtained varsity status which means college rugby scholarships are now on offer. Several South Africans have already packed their bags; you suspect one or two British teenagers may also fancy the frat pack experience. A souped-up American national side really would make multi-national sponsors sit up If they prefer, they could head for Medelln, Colombia. Weve had incredible stories coming out of Colombia, says Mark Egan, the International Rugby Boards head of development and performance. Theyve got 10,000 registered players and the government are now investing heavily in rugby. They see it as a fantastic sport for young children and theyve brought it into young offenders institutions. In Medelln theyve built a rugby centre with two artificial pitches, changing rooms, the lot. All a long way from home? Not really. One rung below the Six Nations, a hugely competitive European Nations Cup has just finished. While Wales were stampeding to their title, Georgia confirmed their rising status by securing the second-tier crown Their New Zealand coach, Milton Haig, believes good progress is being made: Im confident that in the next six to 12 months we could, if we get an opportunity, put the frighteners up a tier-one nation. The word if is the crucial one. Exciting new markets or not, the
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Six Nations still clings to its old upstairs-downstairs structure, which means Georgia can only hope to play the grandees above them every four years at a World Cup. Imagine if this years wooden spooners, France, had to go to Tbilisi for a mandatory play-off next month to retain their championship status? The commercial implications of defeat might scare the daylights out of the major unions but imagine the frenzy of interest elsewhere. We know Georgia is a union which can perform if it gets the right investment, says Egan, who visited Tbilisi last autumn with the ex-All Black captain Graham Mourie to meet the new Georgian prime minister, who has overseen a 20m investment in

January - June 2013

Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

eleven new high performance centres around his rugby mad country. In 20 years time we may all be wondering how the closed-shop arrangements endured for so long. This, however, is not a vision shared by the Six Nations chief executive, John Feehan. As he tots up the championships soaring global viewing figures, he finds it hard to believe anyone would wish to tinker with such a winning formula. You change it at your peril. Well never say never but at the moment I think there is a big gap between the bottom Six Nations side and the next-best team. The evidence, however, is less conclusive than it was. Georgia lost only 15-6 to Scotland at the 2011 World Cup and, by common consent, they and their rivals are improving. Last week Georgia

and Romania shared a 9-9 draw in Bucharest and the Lelos only sneaked home 17-13 against a competitive Belgium side in Brussels. The latter were a lowly 58th in the world a decade ago, while Romania are now coached by Welshman Lyn Howells. More encouraging, at least, is the fixture schedule for the 2015 World Cup which, thank goodness, will be fairer than any of its predecessors. The leading nations and broadcasters have finally agreed to midweek dates for the top sides, ensuring the minnows will have similar rest periods to everyone else. For countries like Russia, it is something to cling to. We are ambitious to be a major rugby nation but there is no pathway for us to go up, says Russias chief executive, Howard Thomas. Im a huge Six Nations fan, but the world has got to ask: Is it good for the global game for it to stay as it is? We need to have that debate. At some stage an established side will be beaten and people will say: This tournament doesnt represent the best six teams in Europe any more. Super Rugby may look to expand its horizons in 2015 and the Asian market is on its doorstep, predicts Egan. Theres already a professional league in Japan and there are opportunities in Hong Kong or Singapore to put franchises in. There are plenty of options. Over the next five years thats where the game is going to have to look at itself. Of course there are still pitfalls, however, the future may arrive sooner than we think.

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You Will Always be A Banger

The Bangkok Lions Rugby Football Club was founded and established by the old players of rugby in Bangkok. The main motive was to spread and promote the game to the young generation especially the children between the ages of 4 to 10 of Thailand. They have established a rugby training clinic which organizes some formal coaching for the game as well as a tournament during summer months. The rugby clinic is managed by some renowned rugby players of their times. Their job is to encourage the parents to make their kids participate in the tournaments. Regular matches are arranged by the Bangkok Lions on weekends to boost the kids for the next time. The coaching center have expert rugby players as guides who can tell the kids what it takes to be a master of the game. The Bangkok Lions have done a lot to assist and gradually develop the interest of rugby among the young kids of Bangkok. The venture has soon become so popular among of the Thailand that some renowned companies now sponsor the events. It will not be wrong to say that the Bangkok Lions, have been able to create a unique platform for the kids to exhibit their talents as far as rugby is concerned. It is indeed a great initiative. The Southerners Sports Club is an informal, non-commercial club based in Bangkok with expat and Thai members drawn together to enjoy a game of sport in a friendly environment. The feature of our club is a strong, but relaxed social atmosphere that we take with us on the sporting fields, or out for the night. Our sections include Rugby Union, Netball, Touch Football, Cricket & Social In October 1994, New Zealand Rugby side Taradale planned to tour Thailand and play in a rugby sevens tournament alongside teams from Thailand, Guam and Taiwan. A group of Australians and New Zealanders agreed to help organize the tournament, entering a Thailand team they decided to call The Southerners. Former New Zealand All Black Zinzan Brooke was a member of that inaugural side. While started out over 15 years ago, our has grown into a club of over 500 social and sporting members originating from every corner of the globe. The Bangkok Japanese Rugby Club was established in 1964, Next year It will be the clubs 50th years anniversary Whilst the name of the club is the Bangkok Japanese, they have a number of players from the international community like England, Argentine, Cameroon and Thai. The club have more than forty registered members and around twenty five players, ranging in ages from 26 and 50. Last year the Bangkok Japanese became the Asian Japanese club champions. They also won other silverware last year the Sawadee Cup the Anderman Cup and the Oriental Cup in competitions against Japanese sides in ASEAN countries The Bangkok Japanese also have established a junior team in 2006. which plays in the local international school competition and the Bangkok International Tens The Pattaya Panthers Rugby Football Club came into being some three months after their first game. The first time a team was assembled in Pattaya was for the Bangkok International Tens in April 1998. The debut was notable for the fact that Pattaya became the first team in the history of the Tournament to stretcher people on to the field. Pattaya lost in the semi final by more points that one has fingers, and in what was a trend setting move, handed the 3rd and 4th place playoff to our opponents on the grounds that the beer had nearly run out!! The name Pattaya Panthers was adopted in July 1998 The club has gone from strength to strength since those early days, however this said nothing will diminish the reason why we still grace rugby pitches all over Asia.to work up a thirst!! Annually, the Pattaya Panthers organize the Chris Kays Memorial Tens, a popular tournament with teams entering grom around SE Asia and Australia. Chris Kays was a popular Panther who tragically lost to rugby in the Bali bombings in 2002. The tournament was named after him

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n the modern game players more than ever need to focus on nutrition. Adhering to eating plans during the training week will ensure adequate carbohydrate stores during the game. In the last 24-36 hours, when training may be tapered prior to a match, it is especially important to increase carbohydrate, keeping fat intake low. This means that, as far as possible, players should plan ahead and be prepared for all situations.

Never try anything new on a match day. Use this opportunity to restore liver glycogen stores and also to hydrate. Choose foods and drinks that do not cause any gastrointestinal discomfort and that will stave off hunger pangs. Eat a main meal at least three hours prior to kick-off, focusing on carbohydrate rich foods with a small amount of protein. This meal is an important opportunity to add to the bodys glycogen stores and should be light and easy to digest. Avoid very high protein and fat intake Examples of pre-match meals

BREAKFAST :
zz Fruit/fruit salad/fruit juices and low-fat yoghurt and cereal; zz Muffins/crumpets/pancakes/toast with jam and low-fat cheese zz Boiled eggs and toast with jam/honey/Marmite.

LUNCHES
zz zz zz zz zz zz zz zz zz zz
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Spaghetti or other noodles with lean mince and/or vegetable or tomato-based topping (no cream) Grilled chicken breast with mashed potato/sweet potato or stir-fry rice Baked potato with tuna or chicken or vegetable-based topping Extra bread, fruit and fruit salads and low-fat yoghurt/low fat desserts One hour before kick-off: top up fuel stores with a small snack such as: Sandwiches with low-fat cheese/ham/chicken/boiled egg/tuna/jam and peanut butter Muffins or pancakes or crumpets with honey/syrup or sugar and cinnamon Fresh fruit and low-fat yoghurt Fruit smoothies Sports bars or cereal/breakfast bars and sports drinks
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PRE-MATCH TOP UPS

You Will Always be A Banger

REMEMBER TO DRINK ENOUGH FLUIDS:

zz During the match, fluid intake is important to prevent dehydration. Players should use every opportunity to quench thirst during the match, i.e. during stoppages, injury time and half-time. zz A variety of options exist for carbohydrate intake, however sports drinks offer a convenient strategy for meeting fluid and carbohydrate needs simultaneously. Fluid should not be forgotten

POST-MATCH RECOVERY NUTRITION STRATEGIES ARE ESSENTIAL.


zz Balancing training demands for rugby with other commitments may leave little time for shopping and food preparation. Eating out may therefore provide a much-needed break. By making careful choices with clever combinations, and sticking to recommended portion sizes, dietary goals can still be met. zz Many restaurants base their meals on protein-rich foods (meat, chicken, fish etc), with carbohydrate as an accompaniment. To boost carbohydrates, order extra side servings of carbohydrate-rich foods such as potato (not chips), steamed rice, noodles, and unbuttered bread/rolls and vegetables. zz Limit fat intake: avoid menu items with the words battered, fried, deep-fried, sauted, creamy, creamed and crumbed. Rather choose dishes that are steamed, grilled, stir-fried, baked or poached. Remind waiters or waitresses that NO FAT means no oil, margarine, butter or cream. zz Do not be misled by the word healthy this does not necessarily mean low in fat. For example, salads may seem healthy, but may be high in fat if they contain avocado, cheese, seeds and croutons, which are high in fat. Dressings should be ordered on the side, or use Balsamic vinegar with only a dash of olive oil. zz Avoid creamy sauces, gravies, dressings, butter, creamy foods and foods with lots of cheese (e.g. vegetarian). If ordering dressings or sauces, ask for them to be served separately to control the amount. Combination dishes such as lasagne, casseroles and moussaka are often made with highfat sauces, so rather order plain separate food items such as grilled fish or meat, baked potato and steamed rice and vegetables. Mint sauce, jelly, mustard, horseradish and apple sauce can be enjoyed with different meats

ugby folk with a beating heart should not, if truth be told, look too far past the events in Cardiff for the year highlight: a Friday night rising of downtrodden, putupon underdogs who travelled halfway round the world to bite one of the hands that had fed them nothing but scraps from the rich mans table. Samoas magnificent victory over Wales, the reigning Grand Slam champions and one of the eight foundation unions who continue to control the politics of world rugby, was enough to make grown men cry... with joy. But it is to another Samoan that we turn for the most startling oval-ball moment of 2012, albeit a Samoan clad in English white. When Manu Tuilagi, the human bowling ball from Leicester via the faraway lava-field village of Fatausi-Fogapoa, intercepted a desperate pass from the brilliant New Zealand forward Kieran Read and rolled off into the wide blue yonder before slowing to a jog and strolling across the All Black line to complete the try that would give his adopted country a record victory over the best team in the sport, many in the Twickenham crowd wondered whether they had lost their marbles. Yet this is a victory over the All Blacks were talking about and a victory of unprecedented proportions at that. There was something eerie, something scarcely believable about watching an England player sticking it to the silver fern as if he were playing a common or garden game of sevens. Opportunities to humiliate New Zealand come around once in an eternity. It would have been shameful to let it slip by. Tuilagis previous experience of that country and its rugby, at the end of Englands miserable World Cup campaign last year, had been memorable for different reasons: after performing his Manu Overboard trick by leaping into Auckland harbour from a ferry, and the desolate flight home. There was nothing desolate about this latest episode. Disrespectful? Perhaps. Arrogant? Maybe. Worth it? To hell with it: yes.
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esthetically, rugby is unwatchable. But all sport is a tribal rite, and Wales v England provides an unbeatable clash of cultures In the depths of this grim winter weve all needed something to keep us going, and for me its been rugby unions Six Nations championship, which comes to a crunching conclusion tomorrow with three matches, including what promises to be an epic encounter between Wales and England in Cardiff. Now, rugby is not to everybodys taste. Its dull, plodding and the laws are unfathomable, say the cynics, who contrast it unfavorably with the flowing, relatively straightforward game of football. But they are missing the point that rugby is sport at its purest because, in reality, all sport is boring. Its a tribal rite, not an aesthetic exercise, and no sport does tribalism better than rugby. An England-Wales match is a titanic clash of cultures, histories and identities that no other sport can match. Football might claim England v Germany has the same resonance. The emotional charge of Wales v England at Cardiff beats anything, and much of the power of Six Nations encounters is derived from the way the fans impose themselves on the occasion. This is so much more than a game. The anthems often seem to last as long as the matches, especially in Scotland and Ireland, where they set popular anthems alongside the official ones. And the singing during games is fantastic. Whenever you hear the Irish sing The Fields of Athenry, you feel like crying, especially if they are beating the Welsh at the time, as has too frequently been the case in recent years. Set beside all this emotion, whether the sport is a great spectacle is irrelevant. Which is fortunate because, if you treat it purely as an aesthetic form, rugby is unwatchable. The ball disappears under a heap of bodies for long periods; the scrums are endlessly set and reset as referees struggle to impose discipline; and no one really
Banger Banter January - June 2013

understands the rules, which makes the giving of penalties a lottery. A game lasts 80 minutes, and if 5% of that is made up of running rugby youre doing well. The rest will be scrums, mauls, punch-ups and a small man squatting over the ball for minutes on end as he lines up a kick at goal which has resulted from some alleged offence no one can understand in the first place. Sports like to pretend they are interesting for the casual watcher, but on the whole they arent. No one in their right mind would sit through a four-day golf tournament unless they were related to one of the players; cricket is best dipped into online or on the radio, or used as an excuse to sleep in a deck chair; a five-set tennis match between Federer and Nadal is a supreme athletic confrontation, yet even that starts to pall by about the third hour and I usually try to time it so I get back to the telly for the tie-breaks; as for football, it is entirely beyond the pale all that diving, play-acting and moaning to the referee after the match. Rugby commentator Brian Moore frequently says, Its not football, when he is berating a player for indulging in soccer-style antics complaining to the referee, say, or rolling around theatrically after being head-butted and lets hope that will always be the case. Rugby is the Eton wall game but with fewer points of spectatorial interest and a much less comprehensible set of rules Therein lies its greatness. The game is so awful to watch that the crowd, the nation willing their representatives on to victory, have to create the drama.
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You Will Always be A Banger

Tom Watters - First Bangers Captain 2007- 8

s I write this article for what has become a great rugby club magazine, I am preparing to leave Thailand after 16 years in the Kingdom. Having played rugby in many countries and represented Scotland and Malawi, I was probably a bit past my prime when I first came to Bangkok to live and work. I had actually played here against the British Club of Bangkok when I was part of the Bermuda National Teams tour to the Far East in 1994, I think it was. John Pritchard and Joe Grunwell will remember that tour as they were stalwarts of the BBC at that time. They received a rather hefty thumping from a well drilled Bermuda side. We went on to the Hong Kong Tens Tournament and were dfeated in a semi-final by some Kiwi team. I did venture to the British Club a couple of times but have to admit there was a bit of a cliquey atmosphere. Then one day I read in the Bangkok Post of three new bars that had opened in Soi 33. At that time Renoirs was the place to go. It was always mobbed, great looking girls but you had to keep an eye on your bill. The three new bars were the Blue BBQ, the Office and one called Wall Street which had this novel concept of drinks prices fluctuating depending on demand. So one Friday night I was returning from Hong Kong and decided I would try out this new bar rather than Renoirs. If it was no good then I could go back down the Soi. Wall Street was fairly busy when I got there and not knowing anyone I sat at the bar where I was joined by a nice young lass. I ordered a Heineken at a price of about 90 Baht. She chatted away in her limited English, I told her I was Scottish and she said I was very handsome. Anyway she then pointed out that Heineken was now 70 Baht a bottle. Obviously no one was drinking it. I asked how many I could buy and she said as many as you like but you must drink them tonight. Being a very handsome Scotsman I ordered 6 bottles. At that this guy came over to introduce himself as mine host and said I looked like a rugby player. When I said I had played a bit he asked me to join him and his friends. And so the story began. Here was Beardy, Jake, Geoff
January - June 2013 Banger Banter.

We did however beat the Glasgow Academicals in a warm up game at Mongkok Stadium on the Friday before what was called the Northern Hemisphere v the Southern Hemisphere This was a match which included current and past internationals but unfortunately that year was the last year it was held as the following year the HK 7s was extended to include the Friday night games. However I digress. Having come to Bangkok I wasnt really into rugby too much as it was not easy to find out who was playing or where. At that time I think the main expat clubs were the British Club, the Southerners, the Bangkok Japanese and a Froggy side whose name I cannot remember.

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You Will Always be A Banger

inevitable that the club would change over time and this did begin to happen as new blood arrived and more competitiveness in the playing side began to emerge. This coincided with a decline in the support that the British Club had and the numbers at the Old Bangkok Bangers began to grow such that a Colts side was now felt appropriate. Some of the older Bangers were not so supportive of this change in direction as it looked like the social

the Chef and of course mine host, Rick the Prick OShea. A great night was had and it was followed by a great weekend because that weekend was David Dufalls Bangkok Sevens and was well and truly introduced to some great guys and a new rugby scene. That was when the Old Bangkok Bangers were being formed and the concept was to play in the World Golden Oldies Tournament in Brisbane, mainly I think because Beardy came from Brisbane and the boys thought we could get a decent team out. A bit of momentum was gained and we started limited training at a Chinese Temple near Sathorn followed by full on drinking at Wall Street. Numbers grew and all of a sudden we had a real mix of guys and the tour to Brisbane was realised. The team and the tourists were a real mix of young and old but the main thing in common was to have some good fun which we certainly did. The Old Bangkok Bangers soon gained a reputation for being a truly social club who played a bit of rugby whenever they could. Games were limited but we did get some visiting sides. However it was

part would decline. Fortunately this worry was unfounded and the club remained and remains the best social rugby club in Bangkok. We now have three sides that play whenever they can and this is a tremendous reflection on the members, committees and supporters. Next step a womens side that may be a bridge to far. So as I say farewell to Thailand for a couple of years, I leave knowing the Old Bangkok Bangers is in great health. Keep up the good work folks.

ACCELERATION
You dont get many chances on a rugby field to sprint a full 100 meters so theres not much point in working on that. Instead focus on the 0-5m or 0-10m acceleration to burst through gaps in defence. For this you need strong glutes. Theyre your engine, where you get your power from. We do what I call single-leg sit-backs. Hold on to something in front of you while standing on one leg and bend that leg to lower yourself slowly before pushing back up. Single-leg bridges are also great for the strengthening the glutes.

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You Will Always be A Banger

First Ever Match Report

Old Bangkok Bangers v Old Shanghai Shaggers 2002

nder unusually cloudy skies in Bangkok the inaugural touch rugby test between the Old Bangkok Bangers and the Shanghai Shaggers was played at the ISB ground. The late arrival of two stalwarts in our team, Captain Kangaroo and Tom Watters, - someone teach them how to read maps please - put immediate pressure on the Bangers. The Bangers held on valiantly and opened the scoring after a set of improvised moves bringing a try to test debutante and rookie rugby player Steve Rieger who a week earlier had vowed never to put on a rugby jersey. After 8 minutes of the first quarter, lack of match practice and fitness started to show and the Shaggers managed to pull of a try through continual pressure from the 22 yard line. The second quarter was a rugged affair, with Hamish on board and John Beard in the thick of things. Great running form Dave Kennedy, Jacko and Steve Donnelly, saw the Bangers edging forward however, were unable the break through the Shaggers line. The tide turned and the Shaggers were on the attack. Wave after wave of forward breaks, saw Captain Bill eventually get into a gap and score a fine try. At the restart, the Shaggers kept up the relentless pressure. However, a Shaggers passing misjudgment saw the Bangers new recruit Lindsay Birley, intercept a pass and run the full length of the field - with some difficulty - to score a fine individual effort. HALF TIME - Shaggers 2, Bangers 2 It was decided that it was about time the Bangers have their first ever strategy and tactics meeting. It seem to work. The third quarter saw Graeme, Geoff, Brad and Rick combining well in the centres. Norman on the wing, preferred to avoid the ball altogether. When he did get the ball, he managed to gain a few yards before his pacemaker cut out. Fortunately, it cut straight back in again once he had played the ball. Jim on the other wing got a few touches before twitching his hammy and left the field. Colin Robin, an Aussie Rules convert adapted well and managed to hold onto the ball a couple of times though his passing was suss. He obviously preferred to handball. To break the deadlock, Hamish gravitated to professional mode flicking a series of deft passes to his team mates. One spectacular unrehearsed pass between his legs was dropped by his receivers. This quarter saw the tide turing in the Bangers favour. It was obvious the Shaggers were getting frustrated. Continual back chat to referee Scotty Jackson, saw him threaten the yellow card to several Shaggers. Common sense prevailed. It was a tight third quarter with no change in the score. The fourth quarter saw two Banger players on the sideline - Brad and Jim both with done hammies -. The Banger reserve bench was depleted, putting pressure on the remaining players. Sterling defence by the Bangers saw them hold the Shaggers until the dying minutes. Two Shagger tries in the last stanza saw them pull away for a well deserved win. FINAL SCORE - Shaggers 4. Bangers 2
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You Will Always be A Banger

he British Lions had a reputation for making trouble on tours in the early years . On their very first tour, in 1888, the local papers in Australia carried reports complaining about their Blair Paddy Mayne Rowdyism on the Railway between Newcastle and Armidale, The 1968 Lions were accused of being the worst-behaved team ever to tour South Africa by the Johannesburg Sunday Times. They have left a trail of havoc and stunned incredulity after three days in East London, thundered the Sunday Times. Marked by severe drinking bouts, riotous behaviour at hotels and nightclubs. They left broken hotel doors, broken glasses by the dozen, unpaid liquor debts and girls in tears because of outright rudeness. The king of them all, though, was Blair Paddy Mayne, a man who has every claim to being the hardest-drinking, free-est-swinging firebrand in the long history of the Lions. Mayne was an Irish lock, and one-time university heavyweight boxing champion. He toured in 1938, when his great running gag, the centre Harry McKibbin said, was to burst into his team-mates rooms in the middle of the night, knocking the doors off the hinges, and then systematically smash up all furniture, Keith Moon-style. The management despaired of Mayne, who used to run around with the Welsh hooker (what is it about Welsh hookers?) Bunner Travers. The two of them dressed up as sailors and snuck off to the Durban docks just so they could pick fights with the local longshoremen. When they got to Ellis Park, they found that the stands were being erected by a team of convicts from the local prison who were sleeping in a compound underneath the scaffolding. Blair and Bunner befriended one of them, and asked him what he had done to merit a prison sentence. Stealing chickens, he said. And
Banger Banter January - June 2013

Ive been given a seven-year stretch. Full of sympathy for their new companion, who they nicknamed Rooster, Blair and Bunner returned that night with a pair of bolt cutters and some spare clothes. They sprung Rooster, and set him free. When he was caught the next day, it turned out the jacket he was wearing still had Maynes name stitched inside the collar. In desperation, the management decided to make Mayne share a room with the fly-half George Cromey, who also happened to be a Presbyterian minister. Even Cromey couldnt stop Mayne sneaking off from an official dinner to go on a late-night hunting trip with a group of men hed met who were carrying rifles and lamplights. Cromey waited up for his room-mate till 3am, and then, just as he was nodding off, Mayne broke down the door and announced Ive just shot a springbok. Mayne decided to deposit it outside the room of the South Africa manager, with a note saying: A gift of fresh meat from the British Isles touring team. Well, that did it. Even though the captain, Sammy Walker, was a great friend of his, Mayne knew that the management were going to tan his hide for that. So he scarpered. The team didnt see him for three days, till he turned up, still in his suit, to meet them on board the ship they were sailing home on. And if those stories sound a little farfetched, as though, like all the best tales, they have gained a little in the telling, well, theyve nothing on what he did next. Mayne became one of the founding members of the SAS in the second world war. He was recruited out of a prison cell, where he had been sent after striking a senior officer because he bored me. His bravery won him the Distinguished Service Order with three bars, the Lgion dhonneur, and the Croix de Guerre. Rugby has gained a lot from professionalism but it has a lost a little something too. On the pitch the 2013 Lions may play better rugby than most of their predecessors managed harder, faster, and tougher, but off it, theyre not a patch on the ones who came before them.
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Mike Gilbert - NZRFU Registered Referee

DRUGS USED IN SPORT


ith Lance Armstrong outing himself as a drugs cheat it does make you wonder if there is drug use in rugby and if so how wide spread it may be. I remember legendary rugby commentator Keith Quinn speaking about an experience he had while commentating in South Africa soon after they were reintroduced to international rugby. He was unfamiliar with most of the players he was about to commentate on and asked if he could enter the dressing room of the South African team that was playing that day so he could put faces to names. He couldnt find some of the players and was told they were in another room. When he was lead to that room he was surprised to find several players receiving injections of something that was unspecified. I am not saying that drug use was rife at the time in South Africa but it does seem a bit odd in any case that players were receiving injections so close to the start of a game. One can only hope that with increased testing of professional sports people in all codes that rugby

is in fact a clean sport and that great team and individual performances of the past are based on pure skill and ability rather than being enhanced by illegal substances.

GROWTH OF SEVENS RUGBY


With the Olympics only three years away it is interesting to see what approach countries will take with regards to Sevens rugby. You can be sure that developing rugby nations as well as the usual powers will be taking this form of the game a lot more seriously from now on. I have heard that China now has something in the order of 1000 women players contracted to develop sevens rugby skills. New Zealand have stated that players leading into the Olympics will be contracted sevens players only and will not be able to play normal 15 a side rugby. I can only see rugby being back in the Olympics as being a positive thing and will help globalise the sport even more than has been achieved by Rugby World Cups and the IRB Sevens World Series. A question to ponder over your beer while you read this: Who is the current Olympics rugby champion and where was that feat achieved?? If you ask Jeff he should have an insight into this right Jeff??

POOR OLD FINLAND


Previously there were 95 national teams ranked by the IRB and in last place for many a year has been Finland. Recently five new teams have been introduced as fully IRB member nations. Without seemingly doing anything wrong Finland has dropped five places to be ranked 100 and still dead last in the rankings. If any of you Bangers have any spare time get yourself over to Helsinki and run a coaching clinic or two. The climate might be a bit brisk this time of year but allegedly the Finnish Vodka is excellent. I remember years ago one of the top Finnish rally drivers being asked why the country produced so many good rally drivers. The answer was as follows In Finland you can only do two things drive and make love and in winter you cant drive!!!

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he rugby ground at Twickenham was purchased by RFU committee member William Williams. The 10 1/4 acres of market garden purchased for 5,572 12S 6d. became known as "Billy's cabbage patch" since the site, was previously used to grow cabbages and other vegetables, along with fruit trees and mushrooms. Two men were responsible for the purchase of the ground, firstly Billy Williams who was a bachelor with a private income who lived in a fine house in Walpole Road, Twickenham, entertained handsomely, and was every bodies friend. Williams used to play fullback for Harlequins, Middlesex, and London and was an international referee. He was also part of the RFU committee and went to see the Mann family about purchasing their Orchard which had been put on the market. He recommended the land to the RFU as an excellent place to build a rugby ground. Secondly there was William Cail who was a hard headed business man, an alderman of Newcastle, head of an engineering and export business, a dour man of few words who, when he spoke, used his deep bass voice in majestic authority. He has been president of the RFU from 1892 to 1894, and it was he who had persuaded the RFU to stand firm against the 22 Yorkshire and Lancashire clubs who wanted to pay players for broken time.

Twickenham 1915

By 1906 he had been treasurer of the RFU for 12 years and was to remain in office till 1924. When Billy suggested the land at Twickenham many were against it thinking it too far from London, liable to flooding and too costly since it would pretty much take all available funds and not leave anything to pay for the development needed. William Cail told the RFU to buy it and arranged a 6,000 overdraft at the bank to go with the money they had (4,919 by selling their Consuls) and 5% debentures of 50 each). Although they spent more than 10,000 pounds in the year after they purchased the land they were in profit. Cail reported in 1924, the year Billy became vice-president of the union, that before Twickenham the largest profit they had made from an international was 1,940. At Twickenham they made 5,509 against Scotland, 4,465 against Wales, 3,679 against France and 2,957 against Ireland. After Cail had been treasurer for 30 years he retired and the year after died at his home in Newcastle at the age of 76. Billy Williams died in his sleep at Hampton Wick on April 14, 1951 age 91.
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Tom Kerr - Banger Coach 2006 -9

he famous and much loved Irish comedian Frank Carson had a punch line Its a cracker its the way I tell them. Recently passed away his punch line lives on. How many rugby matches do we watch and, sparing ourselves (and others) an opinionated rant about how good it was, we just say that it was a cracker. English supporters would evoke this epithet after beating the All Blacks in November and deservedly so. However, a cracker is not always a classic and neither do they always hit the headlines. As I have been stuck in Ireland for these past eight months, and not having Sky or Setanta sports channels, I saw little or nothing of the Super 15s, the new Four Nations, the Currie Cup, Ranfurly Shield, French Super 14 etc. etc. and, of course, the TRU league. This would add up to hundreds of games which would, undoubtedly, have included some real crackers. When you bring up the topic of classic games among rugby mates over a few drinks then national bias kicks in with its predictable objective blindness. I remember after training on a very cold December night in Moscow with a defrosting group of diehard rugby nuts downing vodka to get the blood flowing again and debating the topic. The blood obviously did not flow to the brain that quick as our Scottish
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number eight declared that the greatest game ever played was Scotland vs England (who else) in 1971 at Twickenham and he went on to describe how he drank so much that day that he even bought an Englishman a drink. When I asked him who won the game he didnt see the funny side of it. He was able to tell his soon to be bored out of their brains audience that this win was during a run of four consecutive wins against England. When I asked why this one game stands out as a cracker from the other three he said I was there. For me, then, the classicest, crackerist, I-was-thereist one was with the Bangers in Phuket 2006 when not only did we win the Coffin Dodgers Cup but we thrashed the Hong Kong favourites in the final to get sweet revenge for the previous year. Dave Burge, Mike Bush, Paul Bawden, Trevor Day (yes he was there) etc. etc. Check out the Banger Banter archives for all the photos and, while you are doing that, just be thankful we have a fantastic Banter that has recorded so much of our Banger Crackers. I just wish I had been there for our first win over the Southerners in 2008.

January - June 2013

Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

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January - June 2013

Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

Stewart Gorman - London. Banger 2007-10

ASK NANTIDA FOR ME


Hope the New Year festivities have not taken too much out of you or your pocket. I recently had one of those Ask Nantida moments. The good lady wife has agreed I can go and watch the British Lions in Australia leaving London on 16 June to catch the final warm up game in Bangkok and then travel onto Australia. Once approved I then saw that Bruce Springsteen would play Wembley Stadium on Saturday 15 June. Now it would be insensitive of me to take in that concert with my mates as well so being clever I invited the good lady wife to accompany me and at the third time of asking she agreed. My mistake was forgetting to bring my credit card with me to work the first day Springsteen tickets went on sale because I heard this devastating sentence when I got home I dont want to got to the Springsteen concert can we go to the opera instead. Nantida what should I do?

THE YEAR AHEAD


For us there is plenty to look forward to this year. The good lady wife kicked things off by returning for a three month holiday, I mean a hard working business trip to Thailand. She returns to London in April and then I am off on the Lions Tour to Australia June. No sooner do I get back in July than we will be packing our backs, and heading to Shanghai for a job out there. So plenty to look forward too.

SIX NATIONS
With the build up to the Six Nations in Europe there is plenty of optimism about Englands chances especially after their victory against the All Blacks. What was most pleasing about England was they had been competitive in all the autumn internationals. I never thought we would win by such a margin against the All Blacks but was confident we would not get walloped in that game. Wales are suffering through injuries particularly to their pack and probably do not have the strength in depth to successfully defend their title. Scotland are in transition although probably better than recent results suggest. Ireland are a bit of a dark horse this year with a few exciting youngsters in the backs but very reliant on keeping their prop Mike Ross fit as he is key to their scrum without him it creaks alarmingly. All that said I fancy France for the title and Italy will get a win, most likely at home to Wales.

LIONS TOUR
If any of the Bangers are planning to be in Australia for the Lions Tour let me know chaps as it would be good to catch up out there. I am also on the lookout for match tickets for all three Tests so if you have any spare Ill take em off your hands for a price of course!

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Banger Banter

January - June 2013

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You Will Always be A Banger

Andrew Hjelmeland. Banger Player 2007-8. Mainland China

he current company I work for is too cheap and unorganized to establish a full-time office in Mainland China. As an employee this is both a positive and negative. The negative aspect was not realized until just recently. The positive is that that without an office, my company and boss in particular never really know where I am or what I am doing. Being the only representative from my company here is no painin-the-ass-task-master-boss overseeing my duties. This sense of freedom is a nice job perk. To ensure I get my work done I MUST get out of the flat to avoid distractions inside my flat such as food, porn, sleep, and sports on the satellite. My quasioffice of choice has been the local Starbucks. The negative, I referred too earlier is that Starbucks has become the quasi-headquarters for a disturbing movement. A movement I refer to as the Mainland Metrosexual Movement. What is a Metrosexual? A straight male who looks, acts and mimics all facets of a raving campy homosexual but apparently is not gay. The past six months, I have been witness to wave upon wave of Mainland Metrosexuals sauntering into the Starbucks. They are like a team dressed in uniform with their designer jeans, bright colored designer shoes, matching belt and buckle, bed-head-esque gel infused hair, manicured and pedicured appendages, multi-colored scarfs with matching designer iPhone covers, little sailor-designer-down vests, fake designer eye glass frames with no lens inside, standard issue Ipad with a campy mac-cover, and of course the must have designer man-bag or man-purse.
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I find myself shaking of my head, squinting and rolling my eyes in awkward discomfort The Mainland Metrosexuals have even managed to make ordering coffee sound gay. . .Can I have a soy skinny caramel latte with whip cream. The next question is just as shocking, Do you take credit cards? Its a $6.00 dollar charge and you need to charge it. .of course all Metrosexuals get value points, which can then be used to get a discount on your next manbag purchase! Have I reached that age or point in my life where the younger generations ways are just too radical, extreme or silly for me to comprehend? Am I destined to sound like my grandpa. . .These Goddam kids nowadays!!! or Back in my day you wouldnt have caught me dead doing that! The Metrosexuals have even taken over media and cars. Convertible Mini Rovers and Smart cars are now fashion trends as all outfits must of course match the designer car. As the onslaught of these Metrosexuals invade my coffee shop, I become reflective and wonder when it all went wrong. I attempt to at least be objective in my observations noting that at one time in my life, wearing a mullet, John Deere cap, and a flannel shirt seemed normal. Society is changing and the role of the modern man has changed. Men now openly get pedicures, manicures, facials.cosmetic surgery to enhance their buns and pecs, and often dye their hair to mask their age. So my dilemma is that, if I want a cup of black coffee outside the confines of my flat, I will be subjected to the Metrosexual Movement. Recently, I filled out a Starbucks customer comments card recommending they opening a nonmetrosexual and no childrens section, but have not heard back from them yet.
January - June 2013 Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

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Banger Banter

January - June 2013

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You Will Always be A Banger

Where were you born ? Sydney, Australia The name of your first rugby club ? St Patricks, Brewarrina, Far North Western NSW What was your club nickname? Spud What is your nick name now ? Murph Did you ever play first grade rugby? South Sydney Leagues Club 1963-5, & Sydney University 2nd Division Cotion 1963-4 Where do you call home? Bangkok Five words that describe you... Still here, Still loving it! Whats is a phrase you use often...? If brains were dynamite, you wouldnt have enough to blow your hat off! Are you superstitious? Only occasionally! What is the most surprising thing that has ever to happen to you ? Surviving a charge by a rhinoceros or my first skydiving incident. Whats a common misperception people have of you ? I am quiet and studious Whats your ideal night out ? ANY! In a nutshell, what is philosophy of life ?. All things, yes really, but in moderation, mostly! After a busy day what would be the perfect way to relax ? A busy night? What motivates you to be focused and driven? My conscience and my 95 year old mother Whats your favourite food? ALL, but potatoes are right up there at the top! What is your greatest talent or party trick? Position 47 of the Karma Sutra Book you are currently reading or have just finished? Karma Sutra Favourite TV programme:? Anything with Richard Attenborough, or his sister Favourite film ? Moby Dickor was it Deep Throat? Most enjoyable holiday location? Queensland Person(s) you would most like to meet ? Warren Buffet Hobbies ?

How many am I allowed? Biggest influence on career ? My Dad Best career advice you were given ? Son, anyone who has ever cooked a make or made a bed will tell you how to run a hotel. Smile and say thank you and do what I taught you anyway! Other sports that you played ? Soccer , Aussie Rule ,Tennis, Dwarf Throwing, Two Up Best rugby memory? Scoring the winning try in the U-9s Western NSW Catholic Schools Competition Cup Rugby players you admire most ? Clive Churchill or Rex Mossop, the short and the tall of it. Rugby team you like to watch ? South Sydney Leagues Club Sporting event you would most like to attend ? The next Sydney Olympics
QUICK FIRE

Three people you would invite to dinner ? Marilyn Monroe, Nelson Mandela and Bill Clinton Comedy or action ? Comedy Books or films? Books Wine or spirits? Do I need to choose? Fast food or health eating? Healthy fast Night in or night out? Night Out Indian, Chinese, Pizza or street food? Chinese Smashing Pumpkins or U2 ? U2
FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND:

Heineken, Tiger or Singha ? Tiger Best airline ? Ansett International (deceased) Politics ? Wankers and Spivs Religion ? Too much, too often, offering little substance Sex ? Welcome Reality TV ? Boring Red Shirts ? The Ancients opposition Soccer ? Short people playing with their balls
January - June 2013 Banger Banter.

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You Will Always be A Banger

hen the Bangers on Bikes riders pedalled into Soi 33 at the completion of their bike charity ride from Phuket to Bangkok in February it was the perfect end of memorable journey which tested most of the cyclists to there limits. It was four years ago, the Bangers On Bikes Charity Ride that the was conceived by Bob Pearson. Bob enlisted the support of like minded Bangers, Pete Burgess & JeanFrancois Klentzi and decided to organise a sponsored cycle ride from Bangkok to Phuket. In the years that followed, additional riders have thrown their weight behind the ride Patrick Bernard, Martin Hodgson, Richard Folds, Andrew Lamont, Trevor Day and this year Rod Kerr and Jim Beckett. The rest is history. Fund raising intiatives raised during the ride go to support the Asia Center Foundation (ACF).providing assistance and educational support for underprivileged Thai children in Phuket. The decision was made to support the Center in their long term goal to build a school. Two years ago, the Old Bangkok Bangers decided to assist with another charity. This one closer to home. The Nak Suu Warriors Rugby Academy
Banger Banter January - June 2013

located in the slums of Klong Toey in Bangkok. Sopo Fakaua, the Bangers likeable Samoan New Zealander and his Canadian wife Nicole run this program. Eddie Evans, CEO of Xtreme Sport and the Bangkok Interational Rugby Tens, has got behind Nak Suu, assisting with funding from money raised during the tournament. Their ultimate goal is to have a lasting impact in the lives of young Thais building trust, hope, self-esteem, and courage.

The ride has established a substantial track record, in Thailand cycling charitable fund raising and not least, friendship, camaraderie and a unique spirit fostered by the event with both the sponsors and the charities. All Bangers should be proud of these riders and we are.
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You Will Always be A Banger

ugby Union is a highintensity sport with players required to have a level of physical fitness to compete on the stage. Power and endurance are key skills for any rugby player, with backs and forwards needing to develop a well-built physique, whilst also keeping on top of their cardio. There are a whole range of exercises that are great for developing these key areas. Here a list of some top workouts that you can easily build into your existing regime. MEDICINE BALL CRUNCH AND THROW The medicine ball crunch and throw is a good way to start building your core and refining your abdominal muscles. For this exercise, assume a regular sit-up position, whilst also holding a medium-weight medicine ball - youll need a friend or personal trainer to help you with this one. As you start your ascent, lift the ball from behind your head and throw it to your partner - hell throw it back to you as you come to the end of a rep. This will intensify your regular ab-crunches, helping you to bulk up at a faster rate. Start with three sets of 10 reps and build from there. BARBELL TWIST The barbell twist is another rugby favourite, helping to strengthen your oblique abdominal and back muscles. Take a lightweight barbell and hold it behind your head, slightly above your shoulders. Then, tense your abs and twist slowly to the left, return to the middle and turn to the right. Its important to avoid using your momentum to make the turns, and to keep your neck straight at all times. As this is relatively low intensity, start with five sets of 10 reps. BARBELL SHRUGS Shoulder and neck muscles are the next port of call, and these crucial areas are especially important for high-contact sports such as rugby. Barbell shrugs are one of the most effective exercises for building in this area. To get started, take an appropriate weight for your fitness level and hold it with your arms hanging parallel to your body. Then, rotate your shoulders using an exaggerated shrugging motion in a single direction, and repeat until youve done five reps. Complete three sets and move on to your next exercise. CARDIO Whilst it can be tempting to fill your entire gym routine with muscle building and toning, its important to try and reserve some time for cardio. Rugby players arent just well-built - theyre also quick and lean, which helps them to outpace the competition. Making time in your workout for a quick 20 minute blast on the treadmill or rowing machine is a great way to get into an effective cardio routine - and get you that soughtafter all-round rugby player physique.

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January - June 2013

Banger Banter.

You Will Always be A Banger

Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Therapist


your girlfriends. Better still, dont tell you man and join a womens rugby club. Then you would be a equal terms. If that does not appeal find a new boyfriend. For your information there are rugby widows around the world not just in Thailand. Its the nature of this game. Nantida I have been married for twelve years and have two daughters. My Australian wife and I have not got on for years but the marriage has sort of worked. Now I have met this This young Thai woman who I know and have been having an affair. She wants me to leave my wife. I think the children would understand. What should I do? Want Solution Nantida My farang husband is obsessed with all things related to cars, and he spends all of his free time under the bonnet of some old car, covered in grease and muttering about pistons and crankshafts. He never takes me to dinner or cuddles up to me and any form of rutting is completely off the cards. How can I tempt him away from this pointless hobby and convince him to start fiddling with my undercarriage instead? Seeking Attention Some men like to waste their time doing pointless things, and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it. Thai girls spend valuable time rehearsing for their future lives as wives and mothers, On the other hand, boys are generally to be found frittering away their youth rolling marbles about the ground, collecting useless rubbish like stamps. What you have to realize is that youll never get a man to join you in a tea party, and if you do then hes probably planning to smash your teapot and take your Barbie hostage. You may have ti accept this or plan a permanent departure. Hope that helps! Nantida I used to have a loving English boyfriend who treated me like a princess. However, since the last Rugby World Cup my boyfriend has been spending every single waking hour either watching rugby on Sentana or talking about rugby, and barely acknowledges my presence. Ive even tried to show an interest in the game but as soon as I open my mouth to discuss the offside rule and how it makes me feel, he just sniggers at my observation and turns back to the Sentana rugby channel. Do you think I should place an official complaint with the International Rugby Board? Love Rugby A`Little The sooner you realize that ladies and rugby dont really mix, the happier youll be. Girls have lots of other, more fun sports available to them, such as badminton. Your boyfriend is simply indicating that rugby is far more important than you and that you need to go and play with your dollies for a while. I would recommend stop worrying and forget all about having a boyfriend. Go our with
Banger Banter January - June 2013

It sounds like you are asking for permission to go one way or the other here. I am not sure that young children will understand a complicated situation like this. Think this through slowly. My gut feeling is that something that has sort of worked is not 100% bad and may just be worth sort of working a bit more at. I am not being cynical, just logical. Nantida What is wrong with my man? He is basically a good man. However he hardly ever showers, cleans his teeth, or wears deodorant. Has a unkempt appearance. Smokes like a chimney. Found a whole heap of butts/ash on a little shelf in toilet recently. Cant even be bothered using an ashtray. He is untidy. Were so different obviously. He wasnt as slovenly as this when we first met. What is wrong with him? Clean Thai Hes a dirty boy. Tell him you will leave him if he doesnt change. No long answer needed. You are Thai so I can understand your issue with his personal cleanliness.

Nantida
My Thai wife has agreed I can go and watch the British Lions in Australia leaving London on 16th June. Once approved I then saw that Bruce Springsteen would play Wembley Stadium on Saturday 15th June. So I decided to take in the concert with my mates and asked my wife along.She wasnt keen but she decided to come When I got home that night she said I dont want to got to the Springsteen concert can we go to the opera instead. Nantida what should I do? Hate opera like Springsteen Born In The UK Your wife is letting you go with your mates to Australia to follow the British Lions so I think the payback is she can make the call regarding the concert. I know you are not happy about. Go the opera. Load an album of Springsteens Great Hits to your Iphone and take it along to the opera with you. No overtures no arias just blistering Springsteen through your Stereo headset. Win win for you both. Springsteen will tour again. One surprise here is your Thai wife loves opera.
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