July 11, 2013

Dear Janet and Dawn, Has it really already been 4 weeks? How can that be? But alas, it has which means the 2013 Summer Institute has come to a close. And what an amazing four weeks it has been. I want to start by thanking both of you for the learning that you facilitated. I am not sure how you fit it all into four weeks, but somehow you did. All six of us are leaving better and stronger teachers, writers, and teacher leaders. My portfolio is a testament to all that I learned and will use in my future years of teaching. (May they be many!) I want to start by stating several of the ways in which my portfolio demonstrates the habits of mind weve discussed. Some habits of mind are grouped together. Some assignments demonstrate more than one habit of mind and will be talked about a few times. As you read or if youve already read my portfolio, you will notice that there are other areas where I explicitly or implicitly mention how a piece of writing reflects one or more of these habits of mind. (These can mostly be found in the introductory paragraphs to the piece of writing on each page of my portfolio but are also seen in my teaching demo reflection and learning log.) Since they can be found elsewhere, I tried not to repeat them too much in this letter. A Word About My Portfolio In deciding what format to use for my portfolio, I decided that a digital one would be best. This would allow me to experiment more with Weebly and work on some of my digital skills and my thinking about digital technologies. It also saved me money on printing costs! Additionally, I wanted a digital portfolio so I could easily share it with other people like the English department at my school and my family members. Each assignment has its own introductory paragraph because I think context is important for understanding my thinking behind my pieces of writing. It also allowed me to easily incorporate MAPS. As Ill mention later, MAPS is a heuristic that I am going to start incorporating more explicitly into my teaching, so it was good practice to use it here in my portfolio. I debated about how to include my writing assignments on the portfolio. You have to have Weebly pro to imbed the actual documents so that wasnt an option. I could upload the documents as downloadable files and I could copy and paste the writing as text onto Weebly. I decided to do a combination of both for the pieces in my portfolio. For long assignments or assignments containing formatted tables, I included them as downloadable files. The reason I did this for long assignments is that I get overwhelmed when Im on a website that has a lot of text on it that I have to scroll and scroll and scroll through. So for long assignments, I include them as files so that the reader of my portfolio can take a break from the website. Now, this has

its downsides. It can be inconvenient to have to download files, especially if you have several already open on your computer. However, I decided the pros outweighed the cons so files rather than as copy and pasted texts. Shorter writing assignments are copied and pasted on the website page. Just kidding. (I am leaving the above paragraphs so that you can see what my original thinking was.) Im writing this paragraph on Wednesday, July 11. Today as we worked in writing groups, I had the opportunity to see Mandys and Bethanys portfolios. They used a program called Scribd which Id never heard of before to embed their documents on their webpages. I decided to give it a try by uploading this letter using Scribd. My Bird by Bird response is also embedded using Scribd. I tend to lose my spot when I scroll down on a website. One reason I like Scribd is because I dont have this problem. However, I decided to leave my lesson plans and This I Believe assignment packet as downloadable files so that other teachers can download them and make changes to them as necessary to fit their curriculums and audiences. My rough drafts dont need to be embedded. They are mainly there just to show you that I have multiple drafts of them. I dont expect you will download each file to review and compare to the other files. Responsibility Every assignment I completed in my portfolio, writers notebook, and elsewhere shows responsibility. I held myself responsible for staying up on the reading and not falling behind on my writing. I was always on track or ahead with both. It is because of this that I never felt too stressed out about the work load. I also held myself responsible for experimenting (especially with technology) and keeping an open mind (especially to Gardner whom I was not particularly fond of in the beginning of my journey through her book). I always gave every writing prompt a try and brought it to a close even if I didnt think it was a great piece because I knew I was responsible to my writer self to at least complete that s****y first draft. I was also prompt and prepared for class every day. Curiosity & Persistence I exercised my curiosity on almost every assignment though some showcase it more than others. The one that showcases it the most was my Photo Story for The Worker. After seeing Dawns log report Photo Story, I was very curious about the technology and decided to play around with it for my response to Troys book. Before this class, I was not one to go out and just try out technology because I admit that I am very impatient with technology and the problems that come with it. However, I took a note out of Dawns and Kristins book and told myself I would persevere through technology problems and accomplish making a Photo Story. I also told myself that I would figure out as many technology issues by myself instead of taking the easy way out and asking my fianc or Dawn. I forced myself to do this because it can be frustrating to me when my students ask me for help when they could spend the time discovering the answer by

themselves. My curiosity and perseverance with this assignment paid off because I am very proud of how all aspects of this piece turned out. I also knew that I would learn more and have a greater sense of accomplishment if I persevered and figured it out for myself. I think the piece that shows the most persistence in writing was my Bird by Bird response. There are several reasons for this. For one, I was completely stuck on what to do for my response. I finished the book about two weeks before the SI was to begin and wanted to come to class having written most of my rough draft. As I spent time trying to begin, I wasnt quite sure what I wanted to do. However, I persisted and decided to take Annes advice and do a letter. Once I decided on that, I was stuck on what to write in the letter. I knew it was going to be hard to write a letter to myself. To do that wouldve meant that I had to admit that to an extent Id failed as a teacher of writing this past year. This was not easy for me to admit because Ive always held myself to very high standards in the academic world. I hate feeling like Ive failed; it is honestly one of the worst emotions for me to feel. This assignment was also difficult for me because I know that I do not take criticism as well as I need to. This goes along with not liking to feel like a failure. If I am criticized, that must mean I did something wrong as a teacher and that makes me feel like Ive failed. Despite the emotional difficulty of writing what wound up being multiple letters, I was curious to know what ideas and conclusions I could discover if I embarked on writing the letters. So I did. I even wrote the letter to myself which I had told myself I wasnt going to write. Persistence paid off and I now have a better idea of how to improve my writing instruction. Creativity For creativity, I again refer back to my Photo Story and short story The Worker. Most of my fiction writing stems from a curiosity I have about a certain topic or emotion in the world. (Much to my grandmas chagrin, these topics or emotions tend to be on the somber side.) This story stemmed from the desire and need to explore age, loss, and insignificance and how the three relate. Additionally, this piece shows the creative artist in methe artist who usually tries to stay hidden due to lack of confidence. I set the goal for myself to only use pictures Id taken and I held myself to that. I wanted to have to make artistic choices like how I should crop the picture so only certain objects showed, what angle I should use to take the picture, and what zoom I should use for the motion of the picture. I wanted to have these mental conversations with myself so I would also have to use the kind of critical and rhetorical thinking I want my students to do when considering purpose and technique. The other assignment that really shows my creativity is my snapshot poem Caden Lee. I think poetry is one of the most creative forms of expression, and it is one that I have practiced before but not one that I feel very confident in writing. I didnt want to write a clich baby poem, so I tried to take a more creative approach by using some of the poetic devices that Kristin covered in her demo such as onomatopoeia and metaphor. I think its a pretty successful poem. It captures

the emotions I wanted to relay to the reader without being overly gushy, and it is a nice tribute to my nephew. Flexibility Im a fairly flexible person. And I think I showed my flexibility in this class in several ways. For instance, when I was working on my Photo Story, I couldnt actually get near the rubble to take a picture of my ring in it. This wouldve been a more accurate picture to include, but since I couldnt do this, I had to be flexible and get creative. I decided that the next best thing would be to include bricks in the picture because the orange-red bricks are mentioned in the short story. Thus, I found a sidewalk made of brick that also had some sand/dirt on it and used that as the background for the photo. Another moment that sticks out to me when I showed flexibility was with my audio version of my This I Believe essay. You cannot post audio to Weebly unless you buy Weebly Pro and that was not something I was comfortable doing. So, I had to find a way around it. Originally, I was just going to post it to my classroom wiki and link to that webpage on my Weebly. But then I thought that that was kind of silly and inconvenient; there had to be a way to post it on my Weebly so the person reading my portfolio wouldnt have to leave the webapge. Since I could upload a video to Weebly, I decided to make it into a YouTube video without any images, just a title slide. By doing this I also learned how to upload videos to YouTube which came in handy when I had to upload my groups Julia Caesar: End of the Homecoming Queen movie trailer from Aubreys teaching demo. Engagement I think there are two parts of engagement for this habit of mind: my engagement in the class and how I engaged others in my instruction. My daily participation in class, which cant be shown in my portfolio, is one of the biggest indicators of my engagement in the summer institute. I was an active participant in the discussions and activities we did. In fact, Dawn even a couple of times mentioned to me how deep in thought I looked when we were working on activities. I think my teaching demo shows my commitment to engaging my students. I try to make learning grammar as engaging as possible by using creative writing and activities. I know I learn better when Im having fun and using my creativity, and I know my students learn better this way too. My use of drawing, writing a creative narrative, and a scavenger hunt are all engaging activities that held the interest of the other seven teachers and involved them in learning AAAWWWUUBBIS. My sacred writing time lesson on prepositions also showed my creative approach to grammar instruction as it included a hands on activity to help hook everyone into the grammar topic. My verb lesson plan which is part of my response to Anderson shows this commitment to engaging students in grammar as well.

Another assignment that shows my dedication to engaging students is my response to Gardner which was creating a This I Believe essay assignment packet. This essay is going to replace a less authentic writing assignment I currently have in my curriculum. Students are generally engaged in my old Holocaust perspective writing assignment; however, I think they will be more engaged in the This I Believe piece because its more personal to them and has a more authentic audience. My dedication to improving my writing assignments by adding authenticity and choice to them shows that I can be flexible in my instruction and that I am committed to engaging my students in writing so that they may become better writers. Openness & Metacognition Metacognition and openness go hand in hand, for in order to be metacognitive you have to be very open with yourself about your own thinking and in this case teaching. My previously expounded upon assignment for Bird by Bird shows both openness and metacognition: I was open to constructively criticizing myself and had to think about my own thinking behind my teaching to come to conclusions about how to improve my writing instruction. I also had to think about my own thinking when it comes to how I perceive criticism. I had to figure out that I dont take criticism well because I dont like feeling like Ive failed. I had to get over this and realize that its not that Ive failed. I just need to get into the habit of framing criticism as a first step in revising my instruction. (My participation in a Google doc peer review of my Bird by Bird response was a step in this direction.) I realize that since I am willing and open to revising my writing then I need to be open to working at improving my teaching of writing as well since I care deeply about both. Another piece of writing that shows metacognition would be my response to Mechanically Inclined. As Ive been teaching grammar these last two years, Ive had to think about what I think is the dominant educational norm for teaching it. That norm involves a lot of worksheet work dealing with identifying definitions, rules, and examples and then being tested over them on a quiz or test. This is a comfortable way of teaching grammar, for its been done for so long. Its how I was taught. Its how my sisters and mom were taught. If its been done this way for so long, it must be okay, right? Well, no. For my last two years of teaching, Ive been aware that this isnt the most effective way of teaching grammar. The issue was that I hadnt found an effective alternative. Sure, Id come up with some more engaging assignments, but the purpose of my instruction hadnt changed: teach the rules of grammar to teach the rules of grammar. Jeff Anderson has finally given me an alternative that I think will be effective and engaging and that I am definitely open to. My lessons that Ive included in my portfolio as my response to Mechanically Inclined use Andersons main idea of relating grammar instruction back to craft and also take into account my audience, that is, my particular community of students. My students need hands-on activities. Ive seen them more engaged when activities involve hands-on or out of seat work. I made sure

that both of my lesson plans in my portfolio for my response included these kinds of activities where appropriate and effective. Rhetorical Knowledge & Critical Thinking MAPS has greatly improved my rhetorical knowledge and made me think critically about the choices I make in the texts I write. MAPS has also made me think about the choices authors make concerning the texts they write. Each choice for the mode, audience, and purpose has to be purposeful within the situation of writing. Every piece of writing in my portfolio has a MAPS attached to it. In fact, my response to Hicks has several MAPS because there are several parts/different genres associated with it. MAPS was something Ellen Cushman began teaching me in one of my undergraduate classes. I could sort of understand what she meant, but as a whole, I was kind of lost as to the point of it. I get it now, though. I understand that whatever genre you are writing in has its own conventions, audience, purpose, and situation. I dont often encourage my students to think about the parts of MAPS. We touch on each part for each writing assignment but not very explicitly and not in a way that makes it clear to students how each works with the other. I dont use the language of MAPS. I might just say the readers of your essay will be Mr. DeSmith and me, and youre writing an essay to convince us of the theme in the play. This is audience and purpose, but its not phrased as such. I also had not really thought much about how changing one part of MAPS, changes the others. However, I will start thinking about that more. In fact, when I wrote my This I Believe essay assignment packet for my response to Gardner, I included MAPS on my assignment sheet. Explicitly incorporating and discussing MAPS is something I am going to add to each major writing assignment that we do in English 9. I think it will make my expectations much clearer to students. According to Gardner, clear expectations are essential to the successful completion of a writing assignment. I didnt just make rhetorical decisions and think critically when considering the MAPS for each assignment. When I wrote my Mechanically Inclined response (my two lesson plans), I had to think critically about how to tie craft to the parts of speech. Troy did some of that work on prepositions for me in his book. I take ideas and the mentor text he uses from his book and include them in my preposition lesson. However, the verbs lesson plan is much more my own, and I had to tie verbs back to craft while also considering my audience and making the lesson fit with their different modes of learning. (As I have mentioned, many of my students are hands-on learners). I did this by including a verb game and relating verbs back to the importance of good diction in writing. Additionally, my teaching demo reflection shows critical thinking because in it I question several aspects of my lesson and reflect on how I could improve on them. For instance, I mention that I need to model expected student behavior during partner work in order to hold students

accountable and keep them on task. I know I need to do this because I am aware of my students, how they function, and what scaffolds they need in their learning and in their development as students and human beings. My Photo Story also shows critical thinking because, as Ive said, I had to make stylistic (and rhetorical) choices based on the emotions, tone, and moods I was trying to convey visually and aurally. My directors commentary version walks viewers through my choices and why I made them, so I will not repeat them here. Writing Processes My writing process is usually to just get started and get the words on the page. As I mention in my portfolio, sometimes its like I just vomit the words on that page. Sometimes this is effective. Sometimes its less effective. One thing that Ive learned from the SI is that I need to try doing more thoughtful pre-writing and first drafting the first time around. I dont know if its necessary that I do this; I think Anne Lamott would be okay with my just vomiting words on the page. But because I know myself as a writer, Im not okay with it anymore. In the beginning of the SI when we were doing our initial sacred writing time prompts, I would often forget to include or be thinking about the grammar or writing tip we had just gone over. For instance, when we did the windows writing (an excerpt can be found in my portfolio) and we got to pausure, I noticed that I hadnt really included many sensory details because Id been too busy getting the order of events on the page. For the slow moments writing prompt that Dawn introduced, I wasnt very successful in including strong nouns, verbs, or awesome adjectives the first time around. I had to pause part way through and go back to the beginning and write in words where they would fit. Again, maybe theres nothing wrong with this. Going back over it and adding, deleting, and rewording is all a part of revising. But Ive come to the conclusion that I need to challenge myself to think about diction and especially syntax as Im writing my first rough draft for a piece of writing. If I am aware of my need to improve on both as I write, I will practice both more and become a better writer because of the practice. I want to get to the point where I dont have to think about diction or syntax as much because I just consider both automatically and without thinking about it as I write. Because Im one to just start writing and not do muchif anypre-writing, I was glad when Kristin had us brainstorm a list of words and phrases about the picture of Linton she had taken. This forced me to take part of in the writing process that I have (okay, force) my students to do. They have to show me they brainstormed/pre-wrote before beginning their draft. Kristins lesson forced me to do this. I found it to be so helpful and was glad when she had us do this for our own snap shot poems as well. (This brainstorm is included below my rough draft file of the Caden Lee poem in my portfolio.) Having me brainstorm helped me get my ideas out on paper so that I could figure out where I wanted to begin the poem and where I wanted to go with it. After all, I had a lot I wanted to say about my precious nephew!

Knowledge of Conventions Im writing this paragraph of my letter on Monday, July 8. Amber just finished her teaching demonstration on dashes a couple hours ago and wow, I learned a lot! I will be completely honest: I have never truly understood the rules of dashes. Ive studied sentences with dashes in them, and figured out that pausing and interrupting is part of it, but I wasnt really sure of the exact rules or when to use them. Ambers lesson definitely increased my knowledge of how to use dashes and when I might have a dash moment in my writing. (I love that phrase: dash moment. I think it can be applied to other grammar concepts as well, like Weve got a FANBOYS moment here.) I went back over some of my writing to see if Id used any dashes and found that I had at least one dash moment in my short story The Worker, a story I wrote long before Ambers demo. I was happy to see that I had used it correctly. (This goes to show you that you dont have to be able to articulate the rule of a convention to be able to imitate it. However, as an English teacher and a lover of Grammar, Im very happy I know the rules now so I can use dashes purposefully in my writing.) I am going to challenge myself to start using dashes more. I will be honest again: my students think Im a grammar Nazi, and Ill admit that I have been in the past. Theres a part of meand maybe it comes from the expectations I feel like my English department hasthat says that my students have to use correct grammar and mechanics all the time and they have to know all the rules. (By the way, do you like my dashes?) It wasnt until we started talking about play and approximating authors techniques, even the ones that deviate from standard conventions, that Ive come around to a new way of thinking. I still think students need to know the rules before breaking them, but I now see that there will be many cases in their writing where breaking the standard rules of grammar and mechanics will be an acceptable and effective choice for their writing. So in addition to learning how to correctly use some conventions like dashes, I also learned how to incorrectly but effectively use some conventions like fragments. It actually takes some of the weight of my shoulders. Instead of having to mark up every error, I can now allow myself to be flexible in my thinking and to see where errors may be purposeful. There are two assignments where my new way of thinking will be most impactful on student writing: the This I Believe essay (a new assignment Im adding to my curriculum) and their myths (an assignment I currently have in my curriculum). In fact, as I created my own This I Believe essay and as I created my This I Believe essay assignment packet, I tried to keep in mind how breaking conventions would work here since the essays is supposed to imitate how people speak. This is even included on the rubric for the essay. Abilities to Compose in Multiple Environments Before the SI began, I couldnt have told you the last time Id written anything more than a quick note to my fianc or a to-do list on a piece of paper using a pen or pencil. All substantial writing

that Ive been doing has been on a word processor. This has been for the sake of time and convenience. I know we are supposed to be incorporating and including more technology in our lessons and giving students more access to different technologies available to them, but wow, have I learned how beneficial it can be to use pen and paper! It has forced me to realize how dependent Ive become on spell check and grammar check and how easy it is for me to forget punctuation when Im writing by hand. These are all errors my students make as well, so it was good for me to get into their shoes a bit. The realization that my writing skills are less when Im writing by hand actually made me happy in a way. When I wrote in my writers notebook, I was less aware of commas and periods and such, but it was because I was so involved in writing the words on the page and getting my ideas out before I forgot them. For whatever reason, when Im typing Im much more aware of proper punctuation and spelling (maybe because I dont like seeing the red and green squiggle lines that appear in Microsoft word). I focus a lot more on correct writing when I type than on getting my thoughts out. I think I need to strike a better balance between writing by hand and typing in my academic and personal lives, so this is something that I will continue to work on this year. I will also mention that two of my pieces, For Barry and The Worker, were written in an environment Im not used to writing in: outside. Im an inside person. I might even be part vampire because I tend to avoid the sun. However, for the writing marathon I wanted to do something different. I wanted to be outside. I wrote by the river, by the fountain, on a random sidewalk, and I loved all of it. These two pieces I wrote are actually my favorite personal writings from the SI. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I was literally outside of my comfort zone and inspired to be more creative. The open, fresh air was inviting, and I found I could focus very well. That is one reason why I have the flowers as my picture at the top of each portfolio page. I wanted to try to take myself back to the beautiful and inspiring outdoors as I worked on my portfolio inside my apartment and in the classroom. This experience has made me realize that I should try to incorporate outside writing time with my students. This could be very difficult to manage as there will be 30 of them and only one of me, but it would be worth the try. Perhaps some of my struggling or reluctant writers would be motivated and/or inspired to write if they got to do it in an environment that is not the stuffy classroom. If nothing else, it would be a break from the routine and refresh students like it refreshed me. I went home from the writing marathon happy, clear headed, and just excited about writing again. I want my students to experience that. Self-Evaluation After writing this letter and reflecting on the past 4 weeks, I can confidently say that I deserve a 4.0 as my grade in this class. I have been here everyday on time, prepared, and ready to learn, participated multiple times daily, engaged in the learning community, tried new things (especially technologies), persevered through writers block and moments of frustration, stayed

on task and up to date on all assignments and readings, and learned a lot in the process. I have been open to new ideas, voiced my own, responded to others, accepted help and criticism, and offered help and guidance to those that needed or wanted it. All of these and the pieces in my portfolio show me (and I hope both of you) my development as a teacher leader, writer, and teacher of writing. My portfolio shows much, but not all, of the thoughtful and effortful work that Ive done as Ive grown as a writer and teacher of writing. Every writing assignment in my portfolio is meaningful; I would not have it in there if it was not. Every piece of writing went through multiple drafts which show my commitment to revising and improving my writing after reflection. I have challenged myself in several ways from using new technologies to forcing myself to be in situations that my students would be in and to reflect on how I felt and how they might feel. Additionally, I think that several of my pieces of writing show above and beyond effort, especially my response to Troys book. In some ways, I have several responses here. My short story, my Photo Story, my directors cut, and rubric all show that doing just one of those genres was not enough; I had to do more because of my own curiosity and my need to make the whole response feel complete. As I prepare to leave the RCWP summer institute, I know that Im a better teacher, writer, and leader. I look forward to future opportunities to show all three of these aspects of my identity such as with the NCTE conference presentation in the fall and helping with summer camps (Greenrock?!) next year.

Thank you for an amazing four weeks. I know we all appreciate the hard work and dedication that you put into this summer institute. Im leaving excited to be a part of the RCWP and NWP communities.

Yours in teaching, leading, and writing, Alexa Hayes