Pamelah Landers
Master Hand Analyst
ent heart line type than you do, thus they have different perspectives, needs and desires about relationships.
Even though this is only one line, it could play a significant role in creating ease in your relationships or attaining more relationship success. The Responsibility of the Heart Line Owner Whichever heart line(s) you have, it is your responsibility to get your needs met. It is not your partners job, your parents responsibility nor your childrens obligation. For example, if you have a Big Heart and seek deep connection, it is up to you to find people with whom you can have that experience. Your husband may not have a Big Heart and thus the need for connection isnt as important for him. You may want to consider talking about your heart lines needs with your close relationship partners. Identify what you want, ask how the other(s) can meet your requests and you meet theirs, without either one having to deny what is true for you. It is my hope that this report assists you in being true, literally, to your own heart. Avoiding Bad Relationships How to avoid bad relationships is to be true to your own heart line type and to know characteristics of the other heart line types. Be understanding and supportive of people being true to their own heart line types.
Pamelah Landers
#1 Secret
ends here
Starts here
Pamelah Landers
#1 Secret
with sex to understand it more completely. Then he educated the public about options, what satisfies women, what men want with sex. It really shifted things for the better. Passionates often dont understand why other heart line types waver on decision-making and why they dont ask for what they want as easily as a Passionate does. Note to Passionates: If you are a Passionate, youll need to practice patience because other heart lines types dont find it as easy to identify desires and then ask as you do. A Hermit may be able to identify desires, but it takes longer and asking is much more difficult. Romantic Idealists and Big Hearts are focused on taking care of other peoples needs first, so it doesnt automatically fall into their consciousness that they have the right to identify and ask for what they want. Asking Directly/Manipulating A value of being self-oriented is identifying desires and asking. Its a gift to others in your life when you ask directly for what you wantno guessing and no mind-reading on the part of others. Ultimately you are going to get what you want. On the master path, you are in touch with your desires and you make direct requests, empowered to be yourself, and thus happier. It is easier for others because they know what you want up front. The request may not always be granted, but the process of asking empowers you. In the movie Erin Brockovich, based on a true story, Erin (Julia Roberts) wants information about chromium 6 in the local water, trying to prove that PG&E has contaminated the water thus causing severe illnesses in Hinckley, CA. Her first visit to the Water Board finds her dressed in a very short skirt and low cut top. Spontaneously bending over the front desk, exposing her breasts, knowing the young man behind the counter cant resist her charm, Erin gets what she wantsfull access to all the documents. Yes, its manipulative but nobody is hurt. Her needs are met. In a more gentle but still manipulating way later in the movie Erin is given the most necessary and priceless document that helps win their case against PG&E. To receive this paper, she buys beer for a man who holds not only this paper but really important information. A win-win. On the student path you manipulate or demand, blame others, or make yourself wrong for being selfish. Manipulation creates havoc in relationships and requires involved conversations to get what you want. People know when theyre being manipulated, and they dont like it, in fact, may be even more resistant to you. In the movie Beautiful, Mona (Minnie Driver) unrelentingly asks directly for help until she is crowned Miss America Miss. Starting at age 8 she demonstrates the master path to realize her dream by entering every beauty contest and taking dance and voice lessons. Nothing can stop her, not even her unsupportive mother. Mona asks for the help she needs whevever she can get it. Knowing she needs help and clearly missing some skills, in elementary school Mona befriends Big Heart type Ruby, because Ruby is good at what Mona cant do well. They stay friends throughout their lives, Ruby sewing Monas costumes, taking care of the apartment they share. Mona has an illegitimate daughter, Vanessa, which would ruin Monas chances of winning any beauty contest. In the ultimate act of selfishness and maPamelah Landers 6 #1 Secret
nipulation, at Monas insistence, Ruby raises Vanessa as if she were her own. On the student path Mona manipulates publicity opportunities and other contestants so that she wins, regardless of the cost to other pageant entrants. While shopping in a grocery store having her eight-year-old daughter video her, Mona sees a pregnant woman go into labor. Helping the woman is staged when Mona puts the woman in a grocery cart and wheels her down the street to the hospital, insisting Vanessa get it all on tape. Off camera, Mona is making negative comments about having to help somebody. A month later in a beauty contest, Mona destroys another contestants baton. In both cases she is manipulating the circumstances to her favor with a lack of genuine kindness to others. Here is another example of a Passionate on the student path: Sammy wants to go dancing at Marios but says, Honey, where do you want to go dancing tonight? Its a setup. Wife Jenny thinks she has a vote! A discussion ensues with his continual manipulation until she agrees to go to Marios. It is easier for the people in your life to know what you want, as opposed to guessing or being manipulated into compliance. Its not uncommon for other heart line types to be jealous of your ease at asking for what you want and getting it.
Pamelah Landers
#1 Secret
Pamelah Landers
#1 Secret
ends here
Starts here
Pamelah Landers
#1 Secret
I feel drawn to Big Heart Michelle, sharing my innermost secrets, because I know she will listen and be there for me, offering wisdom that feels good and at an appropriate time in the conversation. Michelle always does. Her direct eye contact and presence are genuine. When she reaches out to touch my hand and hold it ever so gently in hers, I can feel love emanating from Michelles heart. Its frustrating that she has such a difficult time receiving my gratitude, because she has been so influential in supporting me. When I give Michelle compliments or gifts she acts as though she is uncomfortable. Sometimes she looks tired, burned out, but continues giving to everyone, holding herself together, rarely acknowledging she needs to rest. There are times when she inserts herself into conversations that arent her business but somehow she manages to make us feel like shes supposed to be there. Occasionally she also offers unsolicited advice and that irritates me. I know she was hired as our department administrator, but I feel like she stays because, in addition to being very competent, everybody trusts her and likes her, and she seems to revel in being THE ONE to whom everybody takes their problems. Michelle has such a Big Heart. Other-Oriented As a Big Heart one of your major characteristics is genuine focus on others needs before considering yours. On the master path, you find ways to meet yours AND others needs. Your needs are met when others are happy. On the student path, your needs dont get met because others come first. You dont ask to have your needs met and at times arent even sure its OK to ask. Big Heart Kate in the movie One True Thing has been diagnosed with cancer. In our first view of Kate, she is dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Complete with yarn for side braids, red sparkling shoes and a basket on her arm, Kates preparing a surprise party for her husband Georges 55th birthday. All the guests are invited to wear costumes to add more fun to the party. Planning a surprise party is not at all unusual for a Big Heart. When George appears and is totally surprised, the love in her eyes, the warm smile and genuine affection in holding his arm and leaning her head against his chest clearly display Kates soul satisfaction in pleasing her husband. He comes first to her, no matter what. Her affectionate nature is natural and part of being a Big Heart. Later in the movie Kate is exhausted and in pain from the cancer, yet still feels that taking care of George is more important than taking care of herself. On Thanksgiving, George invites his favorite writer to join them, without Kates permission. She grins and
Pamelah Landers
10
#1 Secret
bears it, wanting George to be happy. Making only one comment in response to his announcement, Kate doesnt display her disappointment. It would feel selfish to her to think her needs came first. This is a typical Big Heart characteristic. Desire for Connection The desire for connection is one of your main focuses, preferring to be with others rather than alone. People genuinely interest you as you delve into their lives by asking personal questions and listening with sincerity. On the student path, you can be so hungry for connection that being alone is devastating. Patti is the Phone Queen, spending several hours on phone calls, back-to-back, and loving every minute. At events or parties, she is in the kitchen preparing food in the midst of the activity and conversation, not wanting to miss out on anything. Shes connected and happy. Do you need some help? is a common question Big Hearts ask that is often motivated by desiring connection. Or How can I help you? or Let me help you. Dee shared that she had to sit on her hands to not help a person she knows move, even though Dee wasnt invited to help. But her natural desire to give coupled with a desire for connection, all Big Heart feelings, compelled her to want to assist. Fortunately she wasnt asked because at home she already had so many others whom she does assist on a regular basis and a huge remodeling project happening on her home. But, she says, I cant help it! With two Big Hearts, its understandable. Connection motivates her and helping others is one way to create it, a comfortable, giving way. A Big Heart would want to be in the kitchen on Thanksgiving to learn of all the latest events and feelings being experienced by family and friends. This is the best example of a positive gossip experience. For a Big Heart, the feelings that accompany events are more important than the events themselves. As a Big Heart, you usually prefer a personal phone call rather than emailmore connection. Email is better than no contact, however. Your ability to tune in and be sensitive to how a person is feeling is better accomplished in person or the phone.
Pamelah Landers
11
#1 Secret
Pamelah Landers
12
#1 Secret
ends here
Starts here
Pamelah Landers
13
#1 Secret
What attracted Sheila to Bob was that he, too, likes his own space, physically and emotionally. They both instinctively knew that neither would cling nor encroach on each others freedom or time. They are now married and feel fully committed and loyal to each other. Bob hangs out in his workshop for hours in the evening or on weekends. Sheila is content to be in her craft room upstairs, where her sewing machine is always set up. Demonstrating his love, Bob converted her sewing closet to multiple shelves where she places notions and accessories however she wants, grateful that nobody moves them because she knows exactly where everything is. Both Bob and Sheila are content that the other is happy doing what he or she loves. Each feels free to spend time alone in a self-contained sanctuary, not resentful of the time apart. Spending so little time together, however, takes its toll on the intimacy of the relationship. Some things about their marriage dont get discussed. Neither confrontation nor sharing deep feelings are experiences either of them likes. Bob, the neat one, puts things away immediately after use. Creating stacks in almost every room with her sewing magazines and newspaper articles is more Sheilas style, saving them just in case she needs them some day. Tension exists in their relationship over this issue. No longer able to talk about it without Sheila shutting down emotionally, Bob suggests that she lighten the load just makes it worse. Sheilas feeling of insecurity keeps her attached to things, unwilling to let them go. If Bob helped her by going through each thing and getting her permission to let it go, he would have more success. Expecting her to release things on her own is unrealistic. Bob and Sheila both have Hermit heart lines. Self-oriented The short length of this heart line, ending under Saturn (the middle finger), makes it self-focused. Many of the Hermits decisions, desires, and actions are manifested because it serves me. On the master path, self-orientation serves a Hermit because they know what works for them. Hermits tend to take action to get their needs met, without discussion or asking permission and often not even sharing their desires or needs. In Out of Africa, Denys (Robert Redford) focuses on his needs by choosing to live for himself first, not giving into Karins (Meryl Streep) desires to get married or live together under her rules. Karin, a Passionate heart line type, displays I want what I want and I want it now. She demands that he not see a woman with whom he has a platonic relationship. He wont compromise his integrity to give in to Karins unreasonable demands,
Pamelah Landers 14 #1 Secret
from his perspective. She insists he move out if he cant live by her rules. He does. His freedom is really important and he wont tolerate feeling trapped. On the student path, when a Hermit turns a situation around to be about him or her when its not, that would be a display of the self-orientation. Lou, feeling Jenny was out of integrity in an interaction they had, calls Jenny aside the next time he sees her. Telling her he disapproves of her behavior, Lou tells Jenny he doesnt want her participating in a future event where she had volunteered to assist. The selfish expression happened when he gave her no opportunity to tell her side of the story. It was all about him, what he wanted and his perception. The part of the earth energy that can be stubborn shows up on the student path of self-orientation. Lous perception is the only one that counted to him. Of course it causes huge rifts in intimacy and a desire for others to avoid him. Not allowing for interaction, the only thing that matters is what he feels and what he wants, shutting down any further interaction. This is one of the ways Hermits keep their world in control, safe and secure. Freedom As Denys in Out of Africa displays, freedom is a primary driving force for Hermits. As a Hermit, choices and options are a requirement for your happiness. Feeling trapped or contained puts a Hermit on the student path. Feeling trapped brings a desire for autonomyleave me alone! Hermits will do anything to avoid feeling trapped. Cary has been dating Janet for two years. Recently he became aware of feeling edgy about their relationship and realized that he had been feeling this way for a while, unsure what is happening emotionally. Torn between a sense of obligation and commitment to Janet and his need for freedom and flexibility, Cary chose a student path expression of his Hermit heart lines. One night he went gambling, leaving a voice mail on their answering machine, Ill be back latedont wait up for me. Cary knows it will upset Janet and that he is sabotaging the relationship. His sense of commitment and loyalty would make it too hard to initiate leaving the relationship. Not knowing how to communicate his feelings, he took an action that led to his freedom without having to ask for it. He set up an opportunity for Janet to find out, get angry with him, and make him leave. Dont Cling to Me A surefire way to create Hermit distancing is clingingphysically or emotionally. Kathy says her biggest complaint about her former husband was that he wanted to physically touch her all the time. The public display was especially irritating to her. It felt like he was clinging. To the Hermit, anybody standing too close at a store feels clinging. They may be the ones who create as much space as possible behind them or in front by placing their basket strategically so nobody gets too close. The Hermit in your life may act distant or overly polite. Your instinct tells you something is not right. You may want to ask yourself if you can honor them by toning down your clinging behavior. Even if asked, sometimes it may be difficult for the Hermit to identify that they feel clung toentrapped.
Pamelah Landers 15 #1 Secret
Pamelah Landers
16
#1 Secret
ends here
Starts here
Pamelah Landers
17
#1 Secret
Late Saturday morning Charlie runs around the local high school track. He cant get out of his mind the conversation just completed with his teenage daughter, Juliet. In a very honest and meaningful conversation, without the usual heated discussions, Juliet shared why she, at age 16, wants to get a car. Hes not going to allow Juliet the freedom to drive her own car until he sees her acting more responsibly, specifically by improving her grades. Charlie also has fears about her driving. Juliet has just passed her driving test and has had little practice. He knows about the responsibility of car ownership and maintenance. She doesnt. He remembers the difficulties he had with his son, Jim, when he got his first car at 16. Hes not making that mistake again. As Charlie runs the track, lap after lap, he replays the conversation, recalling how upset Juliet was when she didnt receive his permission. It hurts him that shes angry because he is so sensitive to her feelings about him. Hes also aware how hard it was for him to stick to his decision. Charlies overprocessing now, looping through the conversation repeatedly as he loops around the track. He wants to be considerate of Juliets desires. Justifying his decision to himself, he also knows that as her father, there are times when he has to set boundaries, hard as that is for him. This is a typical story of a Romantic Idealist heart line: thinking about what he feels, overprocessing, being considerate of others, justifying everything, and having a hard time setting boundaries. Consideration and Thoughtfulness Being a long heart line that goes to the Jupiter (index) finger, focusing on other peoples needs first is natural. Romantic Idealists are known for being considerate and thoughtful. How could you not be considerateusing your own definition of consideration. Candy, a Romantic Idealist, spends the weekend with friends at a lake cabin. In the middle of the night she needs to use the bathroom. Not only is she sharing a room with Ellen, but their bedroom door squeaks. Shes on the second floor, so walking might awaken the sleepers below. Candys quandary: should she get up and use the bathroom and risk waking her friends when the door squeaks and the toilet flushes, or should she hold it until somebody else is bold enough to make the first noise? This is the Romantic Idealists dilemma: how do I be considerate of others and still take care of myself? Passionates, a common partner for Romantic Idealists, dont understand this lack of decision-making. If you are in relationship with Passionate, understand the Passionate gets impatient with your dilemma. Its not your problem that a Passionate doesnt get it and you dont have to change because the Passionate wants you to. Remember, Passionates are experts at being passionate about whatever is up in the moment and also being manipulative to get their way. On the master path, a Passionate can help you take more risks if you allow it.
Pamelah Landers 18 #1 Secret
You may feel disappointed and hurt if others dont act with the same consideration towards you. It eventually turns to resentment. Mickey spent a month planning a 30th birthday surprise party for Hannah. After her entrance and greeting all her friends first, she finally turned to Mickey. He was disappointed when she didnt immediately hug him and tell him how wonderful he was for planning this. Mickey hoped shed jump into his arms with delight. Because she didnt he judged her as being thoughtless. Pay attention when you are making a decision from the motivation of being considerate and determine if there is a cost to you. If so, what is it? Do you expect others to do the same for you? What if they are dont? How do you communicate this important value? Do you feel resentment if they dont? Thats a clue that your needs arent in the mix. Identifying Desires and Asking Romantic Idealists need to feel safe before asking to have desires met. Once you feel safe, the next step is identifying desires, then asking for what you want. You may go through the following process to identify your desires. Patience is required. 1. Decide what you want. 2. Determine if the desire is appropriate: Do I deserve this? Do I have the right to ask for it? How will it affect the other person(s) involved? Try to be realistic about this; you tend to overestimate the negative effects of your desire. 3. Articulate the desire. This requires that you feel safe with the person with whom you are communicating. Excuses for not asking for what you want could include: 1. This isnt a good time. 2. It would be distracting to the other person if I say what I want now. 3. I dont REALLY need or want this, do I? 4. Im being too selfish by asking for what I want. 5. Do I deserve to have this desire? You are other-oriented, so issues of being too selfish come into play in asking for what you want. This is what leads to resentment on your part in relationship. This is the crux. In the movie Sleepless in Seattle, Annie wonders if she has the right to pursue Sam when shes engaged to Walter. She vacillates between wanting and not wanting to meet Sam. Annie finds the courage to fly to Seattle, sees him across the street, and then doesnt talk with him when she sees Sam hug another woman. Turns out that the woman is Sams sister, but Annie doesnt know that, nor does she ask. She flies back to Baltimore more confused about what she wants. Note to the Romantic Idealist: it actually helps others in your life if you can articulate desires and wants. Others dont have to guess or figure out what you want, then deal with your pouting if they dont get it right. Asking is one of the gifts Passionates can teach you, because its more natural for them.
Pamelah Landers
19
#1 Secret
Pamelah Landers
20
#1 Secret
Simian Crease
the head line and heart line are combined into one line if hands have this marking then you dont have a separate heart line
Pamelah Landers
21
#1 Secret
Pamelah Landers
22
#1 Secret
the heart line splits here. Up to this point is the Hermit up to the point of splitting Big Heart
Pamelah Landers
23
#1 Secret
If you would like to learn more about heart lines, go to www.HandsOnCompany.com/products.html and look for books on Relationship Success Books on Heart Lines/Relationship Success by Pamelah Landers The Complete Guide to Relationship Success: Your Heart Lines A Basic Guide to Relationship Success: Your Heart Lines Relationship Success for Singles: Life Partner or Life Problems? Other Books by Pamelah Landers The Complete Guide to Gift Markings: Your Extra Potential Talent The Complete Guide to Artistic Brilliance: The Artist in You A Basic Guide to Artistic Brilliance: The Artist in You
Audios from Pamelah Landers on Heart Lines Your Heart is in Your Hands Volume I: The Hermit and Big Heart Your Heart is in Your Hands Volume II: The Passionate and Romantic Idealist Your Love Style in Song - songs that represent the heart lines performed by Pamelah Landers
Special Reports by Pamelah Landers Activity Central: many lines on the hands Bottom Line: very few lines on the hands Gotta, Gotta, Gotta: short life lines Independent Thinker: head line separated from the life line Appreciation: High Set Apollo Abandonment: Low Set Mercury R-E-S-P-E-C-T: High Set Jupiter
Pamelah Landers
24
#1 Secret