so sad that you love her like the stars above so sad that you love her hold

on, hold on "That was just bullshit!" Spike shouted as they entered the hotel lobby. He slammed his axe into the weapons cabinet angrily to emphasize his point. "Calm down, Spike," Angel said as he moved toward the stairs to go find his bed and fall into it for some much needed rest. Every other day, Angel regretted allowing Spike to join up with Angel Investigations. The days he wasn't regretting that, he usually regretted Siring him to begin with. The boy proved useful on many occasions but for someone who always accused him of being a "Nancy boy," he never stopped whining. "You should have let me kill that bitch," he said, following him up the stairs, stomping on each step, "She's a lawyer for fuck's sake!" "You can't kill people. Why is it having a soul hasn't taught you that yet?" Angel asked tiredly, feeling as if this was the millionth time they'd had this conversation. Having their souls restored effected each of his children differently. None of them reverted to what they had been, but became a hybrid of their former human selves and their souless vampiric selves. Spike reacted to his soul like a rebel. He was going to be pissed off until the end of time for the remorse he was forced to shoulder. "Maybe because I'm not a bloody pansy!" Spike only felt slightly guilty for his urge to kill her. Sure, she was human, but she was still evil and a fucking cunt on top of that. He could almost taste her blood on his tongue. Besides, she was just one bloody human. Not like he wanted to start mass murdering or anything. "Shut up, Spike," Angel grumbled as he headed up the stairs, "I already told you if you're going to work for me you can't kill people. Either follow the rules and quit bitching or find some place else to live." "I can't stand you, Peaches," Spike said before turning toward his room. "Feeling's mutual, William," Angel said as he turned in the opposite direction. He shook his head at his Childe's overactive violent tendencies. It was something that he never got over and Angel was sure he never would. He wanted flesh in his hands - breaking it, loving it, fucking it. Spike was a worshiper of tactile pleasures. And one of his favorites was lying naked in Angel's bed. "Dru," Angel sighed, shrugging off his coat and crossing the room to look down disapprovingly at the insane and naked vampiress in his bed. After a hundred years of trying to keep her from his bed, he just couldn't seem to make her understand that he wasn't going to hurt her anymore. Even if it did feel really, really good, "What are you doing?" "Waiting for you," she said, rolling her eyes up to looked at him as she moved her hands over her body, "I had a vision. They always make me want my Angel." "What did you see?" he asked, sitting on the bed next to her and looking into her dark, mad eyes to keep from straying over her supple flesh. She made it so hard to resist. Most nights he was able to turn away. Most nights he could return her to her mate down the hallway. Some nights he failed. But only once in a great, great while.

"The Slayer," she whispered, sitting up and pulling his cold hand into hers, "She's here." Angel shrank back and pulled his hand from Drusilla's. The Slayer. Buffy Summers. Every dream that wasn't a nightmare was of the little blonde goddess that was currently the most legendary Slayer to ever walk the earth. He only saw her one time. Just one perfect moment after Drusilla's vision from the Powers That Be sent him to Sunnydale to kill his Sire. Darla had been the only member of their group that had not regained her soul. The loss of her mate and her family had made her almost crazier than Drusilla, who had always been mad as a hatter. She returned to the Master, craving more violence and blood than she ever had. She would have been the one to snuff out The Slayer before she reached her prime, but Angel went, taking Spike and Penn along to stop her. Buffy hadn't seen him and didn't even know he existed, but god, did he see her. She was strong and lithe, glowing and golden. The immediate love he had for the girl was frightening. The idea that "The Scourge of Europe" was capable of love was laughable until that moment. He held himself in such a thickly encrusted tomb of self-hatred, he couldn't even believe that he would ever be able to love anyone, but there she was. It was all he could do not to fall to his feet before her and beg her to just look at him - without disgust in her lovely eyes. Spike and Penn were dumbfounded by her beauty themselves and talked about her nonstop, all the way back to LA, until Angel's jealous growls muzzled them. They were just as surprised as he that he would feel so protective over her. He usually tolerated their locker room talk even if he didn't join in, but the moment they even slightly referred to getting in between her "dimpled knees" as Spike so gently put it, he roared for their silence. "You fell in love with the fucking Slayer, didn't you?" Penn asked, after several minutes of thoughtful silence, "I mean serious, skull cracking love at first goddamn sight!" "Don't be ridiculous," Angel buffered, feeling as if he could blush, his skin would be as red hot as his body felt. For a cold blooded demon, souled or not, he felt like fire had been injected in his veins and it wasn't planning on leaving him anytime soon. "I think Penn's got a point," Spike said, leaning up to the front seat from the back, hanging his arms over the seats, "You're all glossy eyed like a bloody schoolboy." "Shut up, Spike," Angel growled, "Just because I think you should respect her-" "Whatever mate," Spike said, flopping back against his seat with a satisfied smile, "You're telling us to respect her and I'll bet a ten spot you'll be jacking off over her tonight." "Spike," Penn said loudly over Angelus enraged growl, "Don't think now's the time. Our Sire's looking kinda murderous here." "Sod off," Spike said, lighting a cigarette, "You're just as much a Nancy boy as he is." Angel blinked back his memories of Buffy to focus on Dru. "Buffy Summers is here? In LA?" Angel gasped, pulling her by her shoulders to him, forgetting momentarily that she was nude. "Yeah," Dru said leaning her head to the side with a broad smile, "She's in college. Gonna slay here now."

"M-moving here?" Angel stuttered, releasing her shoulders and rising to his feet to pace the room, "Living here all the time?" "Mmmhmmm," she said, crawling to the edge of the bed seductively and stopping as he headed toward the door, "Angel, where are you going?" "Out," he answered, leaving the door open. He ignored the sound of her little whine as he left, rapidly descending the stairs and heading back out into the night. *** i feel so stupid, i feel so stupid. "Aren't you supposed to be the school nerd?" Buffy asked looking over Willow suspiciously. "Nerds are cool now," Willow said, flashing her best friend a bright smile, "Besides after our first day, I wanna find another place like The Bronze." "Will," Buffy complained grabbing her bag and looking at her watch, "It's 8:30 AM on our first day as new fish in a giant new pond and you're already talking about partying tonight? Can we make it through lunch first?" "Just planning ahead," Willow said, answering the knock on the door and keeping her brilliant smile as she kissed her boyfriend hello. There were few things more exciting to Willow Rosenberg than the first day of school. She was barely able to contain her excitement as she held Oz's hand, struggling to keep herself from jumping up and down. "Always the planner," Buffy mumbled as she headed for the door. She, unlike Willow, was not excited. Her emotions ran closer to scared shitless actually. Although this was better than her first day at Sunnydale High when she didn't know anyone at all, she still found the mass of students on campus intimidating. They all seemed to know where they were going and what they were doing. She felt like she was the only freshman in the whole school. Oz had played so many gigs in LA that he practically knew everyone. Willow was thrilled as hell to begin her new spurty knowledge experience. Cordelia was busy finding the snottiest bitches on campus to be her crew. The only person in her group of friends who would feel like a freshman with her was Xander and he wasn't even going to school. Giles was busy Britishfying his new flat and preparing himself for his new life of leisure. There was nothing more disappointing than being the only person who was not seeing the future in such a happy, rose colored, blindingly aggravating light. She slipped into her first class almost guiltily, feeling as if someone would spot her any second and point at her screaming, "You don't belong here! You aren't as smart as the rest of us! Shouldn't you be in a graveyard somewhere?" She sat in the corner, near the back and tried to blend as best she could while she waited patiently for some creature of the night to appear during the day and take her from her new world of suck. The professor began to speak and somehow, in a way she totally couldn't begin to comprehend, she actually found what he was saying to be interesting. Maybe Mythology wouldn't be so bad. She might even have something to add after her years of being an active part of the so-called mythological world. But Buffy Summers was not about to let this one class push her into the world of Academia. She knew that the rest of her classes were going to make her wish she was doing calisthenics...

...naked... ...on a bed of hot coals. School was not about having fun and learning new things. It was about having something to do during the day while all the creepy crawlies of the world were sleeping in their slime pits. *** ev'rybody's free, ev'rybody's free to feel good, to feel good Angel wasn't stalking her. He didn't happen to call in a favor and have a certain friend hack into the UCLA database to find out where Buffy lived. He didn't go to campus at sun down and lurk until he saw her and her friends heading out for a night on the town. He certainly didn't follow them to the local club near campus, "The Velvet Dog." And he wasn't staring from a darkened corner at the sexy blonde moving to the pounding music in the club. Okay, so he did do all that. But that's not really the point. He was just making sure she was, you know, okay and once he made certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she was melding effectively to her new habitat, he would mind his own damn business. That's what he told himself anyway. "Ya don't love her, huh?" Penn said, appearing at Angel's side with a drink in his hand, smiling at his mentor and Sire. "You followed me?" Angel asked, already knowing the answer. "You followed her. Not really seeing the difference," Penn answered, watching the tantalizing Slayer move in rhythm with the music with two other very hot college girls. He felt a twinge in his groin as he watched them move together in a trio of liquid fuckableness. "And I came along for the hell of it," Spike said, strolling up with his arm around Dru's slender waist. "Can't I have a moment of peace without you guys following me?" Angel complained. "Are we cramping your style?" Penn said, watching as Buffy and her friends headed for the bar to get some much needed refreshments. The club was sticky and hot from the human body heat radiating through it. "Maybe I should go ask her to dance." "Ooh Daddy's jealous," Dru exclaimed over Angel's low growl, clapping her hands. She leaned in to Penn and whispered over the thumping beat, knowing her vampire kin could hear her, "My Angel's in love with The Slayer." "I know, Dru," Penn said, winking at her and kissing her red lips lightly, "But since he's never even talked to her, I'm thinking she's fair game." Angel, who could not seem to control the strange possessiveness of the girl he hadn't even talked to before, found his arm reaching out to grab his Childe by his throat. He pulled Penn in close, trying on his best deadly glare as he growled, "Don't even think about it." "Alright, alright," Penn said, laughing and stepping out of his Sire's grip, "Calm down, buddy. I'm not going to meander over your imaginary territory. Just teasin' ya. Ya know, for the fuck of it."

"Go home," Angel said, moving away from his family. "It's a free country," Spike said, nuzzling Drusilla as he headed with her to the dance floor, "You might have noticed we've moved to the new world." Penn laughed heartily as Angel rigidly crossed the room to find a different dark corner to obsess from. This was really one of the most entertaining things he had ever seen his Sire go through. He had seen Angel in torment, brooding in deep sorrow and trying to atone for his sins. He had seen him enraged, killing the demons and the bad guys of the world. He had even seen him laugh and have a good time a couple times over the decades, but this was just priceless. Angel never got close to humans. He never really even got close to his own Sired children. The only one of them who might have seen a bit more of him was Dru and that was only because she couldn't keep herself out of his bed. Penn knew that if nothing else, this was going to be a fun little ride of emotions. And he planned to use each juicy detail to his advantage. Just because he had a soul didn't mean he couldn't be a little evil some of the time. I mean, what was the point in living if you couldn't have a good time? *** stars collide, worlds divide, what a pretty piece of flesh, you are a pretty piece of flesh. stars collide, worlds divide, what a pretty piece of flesh, you are a pretty piece of flesh. "Hello salty goodness," Cordelia said, leaning away from Xander so that she could sway to the side to follow the lickable dark haired man walking around the edge of the dance floor as if touching it would cause him to catch a disease. Buffy and Willow both leaned with her to look at the man who seemed as if he had been sculpted from stone and freshly painted with sex. Well dressed and graceful, he was nothing short of devastatingly handsome. For the first time she could remember, Buffy was actually glad that Cordy was dating Xander. If she was with him, then she wasn't competition. And Buffy was willing to compete. "Hey!" Xander said, looking over Angel with distaste, "Looks like a freak to me." Buffy stared openly at the sexy creature, thinking that he was someone she would like to freak, and nearly fell off her stool as he turned his head and looked directly at her as if he already knew she was there. Their eyes met and she was lost in whatever color they might be. He was too far away to tell but close enough to pierce right through her. Buffy did not believe in love at first sight. She wasn't even sure she really believed in love at all, actually. The way her parents divorced and the few guys she had dated all proved unworthy of the chance at her heart. But the dark haired man across the room, tugged at her, carried her with him and she found herself standing up inside. "Drool much?" Cordelia asked, making Buffy jump as if she had forgetting she had come to the club with friends. "What?" Buffy asked, looking at the girl who had strangely wandered into the friend category during their High School years. She was still trying to figure how that happened. "You were kinda staring," Willow chimed.

"Gotta agree," Oz said, causing Buffy to blush as she snuck another quick look, shifting on her sandaled feet. She wasn't even sure when she had slid off of her stool. Something about tall, dark and handsome over there was causing her body to betray her. "I wasn't staring," Buffy said, "I was merely checking him out...a little." "A little?" Xander snorted, wrapping his arm more tightly around Cordelia's shapely waist in an attempt to remind her that she had come to the club with a date, "You were already on his lap!" "Oh, come on," Buffy said, looking around at her friends, then checking on the hottie's strategic location in the club and looking back at her friends again, "He's cute. I'm free. I can look." "Look, he didn't come alone," Cordelia said, loving it when there was more to the story. Nothing like gossip worthy happenings to intrigue Queen C, "He seems to know her well." "Yeah," Buffy said frowning at the dark haired woman who was now glued to his side. Figures that his girlfriend would be so beautiful and obviously engrossed in him. But then, who wouldn't be? She couldn't help but notice that he was still looking at her even as he talked to the woman. In fact, the woman was looking at her too. Buffy squirmed in her seat nervously. Maybe Xander was right. They were freaks. Maybe they were swingers. God, she wanted to find out something about him. A name. Anything. She watched as the dark haired beauty, moved her hand over his broad muscular chest. Finally, with the intimate touching he looked down at his companion, giving her his full attention. Buffy, along with her friends, watched without shame as she tried to kiss him and he moved away. He said something to her, kissed her forehead and unwrapped her arms from him. The woman was smiling strangely and moving to a beat other than the one filling the club as she moved away. Buffy watched her as she moved toward...oh god...she was coming over to their table! Buffy prepared herself for a nasty comment from the woman. She silently begged The Powers to not humiliate her tonight. The woman was gorgeous, moving in a slow slinky walk that left a trail of prowess and sex behind her. Buffy knew she would never walk like that. Before the woman reached the table, a very attractive blonde man came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck and she leaned back against him, swaying to the music in her own mind. He draped an arm over her shoulder as they moved ever closer to the table. As they passed, they were fairly far away, but close enough that Buffy heard her when she turned her head, smiled and said, "My Angel likes you." "He does fancy you, pet," the blonde man agreed with a smile that seemed almost devious. He turned and looked back at the dark haired man who was now glaring at the couple angrily. The blonde man just smiled back while the woman seemed oblivious. He led her away and she went without looking back. Buffy turned to look back at her new crush and found him missing. She released the breath she didn't know she was holding and looked around to survey the grinning faces of her friends. "He does fancy you," Willow said, wiggling her eyebrows. "So...was that girl his girl or the other guy's girl?" Xander asked, "Cause I'm confused." "Yeah," Oz said nodding, "I think I am too."

"Maybe she's sleeping with both of them," Cordy offered, "What? She could be." "She's not sleeping with him," Buffy said in feigned confidence. He just couldn't be sleeping with that sexy woman. Because it...just wouldn't be fair. *** go, go, foes can never measure to the crew as we roll on, blast the amplifiers in the back with the soul on. "Hottie being attacked, 9 o'clock," Cordelia announced as they walked out in the night air, which was not cool but a refreshing change from the stifling heat of the club. Buffy paused for a second because the hot dark haired man, the blonde and another man were fighting a crew vampires in the alley. The dark haired girl stood off to the side, obviously amused by the show and as Buffy headed over to help, she saw the girl reach out for a vampire that was about to jump the blonde man from behind. She grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and lodged her red high heel shoe in his shin before staking him. Acting now and asking questions later, Buffy aided the group in the fight, wondering where the hell this group of vampires had materialized from. She didn't want to be introduced to them after Slaying. This wasn't how she had already planned meeting her future-god-he-hadto-be lover. But there really wasn't a choice, so she pulled her stake out of her purse and ran up to join the fight. "Okay, where did you guys learn to fight like that?" Buffy asked, looking at the group with surprise on her face after the final dust had settled. She wasn't all that used to be surprised. "That's what we do," the dark haired man answered in a voice that was velvet over granite. She shivered as he continued, "I'm a private investigator. We handle the other cases, if you know what I mean. I'm Angel." So that's what the woman meant when she said "my Angel." But what was with the "my" part? "Of Angel Investigations," the blonde added, "I'm Spike. This is Drusilla." "Penn," the other nodded with a sexy smile. "I'm Buffy," she answered, "And these are my friends: Willow, Oz, Cordelia and Xander. So...you guys fight vampires?" "Yep and demons," Spike said, looking her over like she was a treat to be nibbled on, "And other sorts of nasties." "It was nice to meet you, Buffy," Angel said, gracing her with another sentence of his addicting voice, coming from full lips. He extended his hand with a business card between his two first fingers, "Give us a call if you ever need help." "Sure," she said watching as the foursome strode away. They all seemed so strong and confident as they walked in the night. They didn't look around them but still seemed very aware of their surroundings. "Earth to Buffy," Xander said. "Huh?" "I said, space girl, are you ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah," she nodded, stumbling after her friends. She looked over her shoulder one more time as she moved away and Angel turned, looking back at her. And she stopped breathing. Again. But just for a second. *** Part Two - "Who Are You?" RATING: NC-17 - SMUT AHEAD *** i would die for you, i would die for you, i've been dying just to feel you by my side, to know that you're mine. Two days later, Angel was still in a world of fierce denial. He had to mentally tie himself down to keep from running to the UCLA campus and professing his eternal love her. Even as he thought it, he knew it was preposterous for a vampire to be in love with a Slayer and even more so was thinking of telling her. He could almost feel the stake through his heart and could see the look on her face as he revealed his demon to her. A part of him thought it might be worth it just to feel her touch him before he dissipated to ash. He wondered to the lobby and thought about feeding before going on patrol but whenever he thought about blood, he thought about being a vampire and that led directly to the infinite amount of torment he was going to suffer for loving the girl. She was so young and vibrant that she seemed to cast radiance around her and a small part of that started to seep into his dark, broody world. Every once in awhile, over the past couple of days, he thought about her and how her heartbeat had increased when he spoke to her - and that was after she had just exerted herself in battle - and realized he was grinning like an idiot. His children were having a heyday with this newest intrigue, making fun of him at every turn, teasing him without mercy and he almost didn't care. Nothing could cloud over the memory of her brilliant smile, the way she walked and her voice, the mixture of a girl finding her womanhood. It was inebriating. "Look, it's a great bloody Poof still sniffing the memory of The Slayer," Spike called out from the couch. He shifted to slump a bit more, shifting Drusilla in his lap as he did. Angel tried to scowl in response to the comment, but it came out as more of a crooked grin instead. "Give em a break, Spike," Penn said from his prone position on the counter top. He rested his head on his folded arms and couldn't keep the smile from his own face, "I mean, I've been thinking about her too...tight little ass shaking beneath those party pants." "Good point," Spike said, moving his hand over Dru's thigh, feeling her tense with jealousy as he spoke, "Chit was a cutie." "Oh, man, what I wouldn't give for one tiny taste of her-" "Don't say it," Angel said, glaring as he moved across the lobby. "I wasn't going to say blood,'" Penn said, sitting up, "I was going to say-" "Penn," Angel growled in a final warning. "I was going to say pussy,'" Penn said, the word coming out strangled as Angel's fist caught his nose. Penn fell off the counter top with the force of his blow and crashed to the floor.

"Shut the fuck up," Angel snarled, looking down at him with yellow eyes. "You broke my nose," Penn said, reaching up to cup the blood that began to flow from his nostrils. Penn laughed at his Sire even as he groaned in pain, "But it was completely worth it." Angel headed directly to the kitchen, leaving the annoying scene of the three of them behind him. He guzzled a pint of blood and tossed it in the trash before following with another. He was entertaining the idea of grumbling under his breath when he heard the familiar sharp intake of unneeded breath and a loud female wail of pain. He skidded back into the lobby to watch as Drusilla, overcome with her vision, shivered and convulsed in Spike's arms. "It's okay, baby," Spike whispered to his lover as she stared at the ceiling. Her eyes were glazed as she saw, not what was above her, but the images flashing across her mind. Angel lowered himself to one knee and bent over her as she called out for him. "Angel," she said, turning her head slowly. Several seconds were required before her dark eyes focused on his face, "Your Slayer..." "What?" Angel said when she tapered off, "Is she in danger? Dru?" *** see your face every place that i walk in, hear your voice every time i'm talking. Buffy left the coffee shop and her friends to sipping cappuccinos and debating the world's events with upperclassmen so that she could patrol. She wasn't sure what was more funny, the fact that all the suedo-intellectuals were being burnt left and right by Willow and Oz's superior knowledge on almost every subject they broached or the way that Xander protectively hung over his girlfriend trying to wipe the other men's drool off her shoes. She could tell that Xander was having second thoughts about not attending college. Of course, he had no interest whatsoever in getting a degree or acquiring knowledge of any kind, but Cordy was simply too pretty to be left alone on that big campus alone. Buffy knew that it was only a matter of time before he started hanging around the quad on his days off work. She regretted having to leave because for the first time, she started to feel like maybe she could belong. Not everyone was brilliant there. Some people were just normal, like her. A couple of boys even looked at her like she was a girl tonight. The problem with being treated like a girl by the boys was that she wasn't being noticed by the one person she desperately wanted to notice. The first week of school wasn't really the best time to begin the daydreams in class but all she could seem to concentrate on was Angel. "Girly name," as Xander so vehemently insisted, or not, he melted all ability to study or even listen. And there was nothing girly about that man. She had spent the last couple days, in addition to thinking about Angel, trying to talk herself out of asking Willow to jump on the net and investigate the investigator. It seemed wrong to poke around about him without his knowledge. Where he lived, what his phone number was...whether anyone lived with him - those were things that his personal business. She shouldn't stick her nose in where it didn't belong. It would be wrong. She smiled at her decision to ask Willow tonight when she got home when she heard a sound behind her and pulled her stake from her pocket. "You know," she said, turning around, "It's kinda rude to interrupt other people's fantasies."

Her jaw fell open as she realized that her attacker wasn't one vampire but seven. The way the slaying had been going lately, she was beginning to think that LA had it's very own Hellmouth. She had noticed too, since her arrival here, that her Spidey sense was seriously off again. These vampires nearly tapped her on the damn shoulder before she realized they were there. She didn't have time to think about what might be wrong with her, however, because her attackers were closing in. Deadly yellow eyes shone in the night as a chorus of growls sounded. Buffy made the first move and sent the vamp closest to her flying back with a perfectly executed crescent kick. She didn't have time to enjoy the sound of his grunt as he hit the pavement because the others moved in hard and fast, striking out at her. She dusted one as she felt hands pulling at her. Two strong arms wrapped around her, pinning her arms to her sides, attempting to squeeze the breath from her body. She jerked her head back and gave the vampire a fangful of blonde hair and hard skull. He cried out in pain, stepping back, but not far enough to avoid the stake that made all the pain disappear. Two down and five to go, Buffy thought as she dodged a fist on one side of her and a flying leg on the other. The vampires regrouped as they moved in, realizing that they had initially underestimated their opponent. Two grabbed her arms, struggling to hold her wiggling body steady. "Slayer," the leader snarled, anxious to say that word to an actual Slayer since he was turned. He was a huge demon, hulking over her and Buffy was beginning to get a little nervous as he moved closer. His little band of malcontents joined him because they all dreamed of the same thing he always had - to taste the blood of a Slayer. When the law firm, Wolfram & Hart, offered to give them her location and money if they could kill her, they jumped at the chance. The vampire screamed as he fell to dust and revealed Angel holding a stake, point out, behind him. He smiled at Buffy in a greeting that would have made her weak in the knees, if she hadn't needed to escape. Angel immediately threw his stake into the chest of the vamp on Buffy's right, freeing an arm before shoving off the other two vampires who pounced on him. He heard the sound Buffy slaying the vampire who had been on her left as he staked his other two in rapid succession. "Thanks," she said, walking over and closing the distance between them. An unbearable two feet lay between them as he turned to face her. "You're welcome," he answered sticking his stake in his pocket just to have something to do. "I'm glad you happened along," she answered, allowing her eyes to sweep over his broad form as she spoke, "How did you happen along?" "Drusilla is a seer," he answered honestly, trying to appear casual as those hazel-green eyes shifted over him, "She saw you were in danger. I came to help." "Oh," Buffy said, "So your girlfriend's a psychic then?" "Not exactly," Angel answered and quickly added, "and she's not my girlfriend." "Oh," Buffy said, cocking an eyebrow at him and biting her inner jaw to keep from smiling at his response...and cheering, "So what is she exactly?" "A friend," he answered, only kinda dishonestly. "No, I mean, if she isn't a psychic, then what is she?" Buffy nearly jumped for joy that he misunderstood her question. Maybe that meant he was interested. Maybe it just meant that he was answering the damn question.

"She gets visions from The Powers That Be of people in trouble," he answered, "She's a bit psychic, I guess. I mean, she was before she starting stewarding for The Powers, but lately all she sees are horrible scenes that need to be averted." "So you knew her before she started getting the visions?" Buffy asked as they walked down the street together, in a sort of boyfriendly-girlfriendly way. Okay, so it wasn't couple-like at all, but it could be considered the step before that. Buffy looked at the scenery in front of her as she inwardly chided herself for reaching. He almost seemed like he was trying not to look at her and she couldn't help but wonder what that meant. "Yes." "How long have you known her?" "A long time," Angel answered, refusing to give her the details that would lead to bad roads of too much information, "A very long time." *** you will believe in me, and i will never be ignored. In Angel's dream, Buffy was reaching out to touch him. When she made contact with his cold skin, he felt her warmth spread through him, tingling every place on his undead body. He dared to touch her back, tentatively pressing his lips against hers. When she responded to his kiss, he sighed into her mouth as his fingers threaded through her hair, finding it just as soft as it always was in his dreams. Her tongue moved against his and the little breaths of air escaping her lungs fed his soul as he pulled her in more closely. Her body was a contradiction, hard and soft at once, strong and yet so pliable as she allowed him to lower her to his bed. He touched her everywhere, wanting to experience every inch of her soft, golden skin. Her clothes melted away and they took with them all of her defenses, all of his reasons to stop. He was rewarded by her moan of pleasure as he sucked one hard nipple into his mouth and twirled his tongue around it. She arched against him, fingers pressing into his back as he moved from one perfect breast to the other. He kissed his way down her torso, unable to stop himself from dipping in to taste the cutest belly button he had ever seen. She was so warm against him and he felt his body temperature rising with each moment he was touching her. Soon he would rise above room temperature and burn along with his lover. She didn't seem to notice that his skin was cooler. She didn't seem to notice that his heart wasn't beating, that he didn't breathe. She breathed for them both, panting lust into the room. "Angel," she moaned as he finally entered her dripping core. His soul soared with happiness as she uttered his name. The way it sounded in her heated voice, the way it looked plucking off of her red lips was more than his dream mind could handle. He struggled to hold on to her inside his dream world, willing his body not to wake as he felt her inner muscles flexing against his thrusts. Harsh reality beckoned and he growled in frustration as the dream began to freeze, as her warmth began to fade. She felt cold. She was disappearing as he began to wake, but he still felt... Angel opened his eyes and looked down at Drusilla. She was nude and on her hands as knees, the way he used to like her before he lost his soul. He used to tell her to kneel, raise her ass in the air and keep her thighs open. He wanted to smell her dripping pussy as she sucked him off, liked her spread wide in submission for him as she pressed down. He used to love that she could take all of him, loved the feel of his cock meeting the back of her throat. He used to. Now all he felt was guilt for the things that he had done and enjoyed before.

"Dru," he groaned in frustration, caught between the erotic sight, smell and feel of her and the irritation that she was knowingly violating him. He almost felt, in a strange way, that this act was cheating on the devotion he felt for Buffy. Even before he saw his golden Slayer for the first time, he stopped sleeping with Dru almost entirely, but after he had seen her, he stopped completely. He would rather be celibate for the rest of his unlife than entertain the idea of sleeping with anyone but his heart's mate. "My Angel," Dru whispered as she pulled back to look at him. After knowing him so intimately for so long, she stroked him perfectly, applying the exact amount of pressure as she wrapped her fingers around his erect cock. She licked the tip and smiled at his growl of lust-anger. Her eyes looked far away in the memories of what had been as she took him in her mouth again, cupping his scrotum with one hand. "Please..." he said with gritted teeth as her movements increased, sucking him harder and faster. He couldn't ask her to stop and knew that she wouldn't anyway. He might be in love with Buffy but he was still a man. He gripped the headboard and released into her mouth. He was still recovering from his climax as she licked her lips and crawled up lay her head on his chest. "Mmmm," she purred as she closed her eyes, moving her manicured nails over his chest and stomach absently. "I asked you not to do that anymore," he growled but even as he spoke, he caressed her silky dark hair. "You woke me up," she whispered, "You called to me and I came." "What are you talking about?" he sighed, looking down at her, "Spike hates this. You know that." "I crave you, Angel," she answered, rising to return to her mate, "I need you like you used to need Darla. It's your blood in my veins. It begs for you." He watched her without speaking as she left the room and listened to her bare feet padding down the carpeted hallway. He had to think of a way to keep this from happening again. He thought about locking his door every night, but the times he had tried it, she still got in. He wasn't sure what it was about his Childe, but the woman had power he would never understand. *** heaven help me, my head is spin'n round, stop this airplane cause i got to get down "You saw Angel last night," Willow said sleepily as she watched Buffy brushing out her hair and glowing with happiness. "Why do you say that?" Buffy asked. Willow sat up in bed and gave her friend the I'm not stupid look. "You're up an hour early and you're wearing a leather jacket two sizes too big over your pajamas. Did you sleep in that?" "No," Buffy said, lifting her head defensively and then giggling, "With it but not in it." "Oh God," Willow said, falling back in bed, "Tell me what happened."

"He saved me from a gang of vamps, told me Drusilla wasn't his girlfriend and gave me his jacket because he said I looked cold," she answered. "Oh so you asked about Drusilla?" "I couldn't help myself," Buffy said sheepishly, "Which brings me directly to asking for a favor." "What?" Willow said, yawning. She scooted to the edge of the bed and crossed her legs as she waited for Buffy to spit out her request, which happened after several seconds of overactive mumbling and excuses. "I want you to look up Angel and find out stuff about him on the Internet," Buffy answered. "Buffy," Willow said, shifting to her feet and shuffling across the room, "it's invasion of privacy you know." "Come on, Will," Buffy begged, "Just a few tidbits. We don't have to find out everything about him. Please look him up. Please?" "No," Willow answered after a moment and began sinking under the pressure of Buffy's pout, "I'm not going to look him up...again." "Again?" Buffy shouted, jumping to her feet. "Well, I wanted to make sure he wasn't a creep," Willow blurted. "Well is he? A creep?" "I don't know. He hardly exists." "Huh?" "It's the strangest thing," Willow said, settling on Buffy's bed next to her, "He runs his business out of the Hotel Hyperion. He doesn't have a driver's license or a birth certificate that I can find. Or a last name." "Are you sure you looked hard enough?" Buffy asked quietly, not wanting to hurt the redheaded witch's feelings. "Buffy, I checked every source I could think of." "What about his friends?" "They're blanks slates too," Willow said, grim faced, "It's like they all just fell out of the sky or something." "Okay, well maybe they're from another country," Buffy volunteered, remembering Spike and Drusilla's English accents. "From another country that doesn't keep birth records?" Willow asked. "Well..." Buffy said, thinking about the news, "What about the hotel? How long has he been staying there? Does that girl, Drusilla, have a room there too?" "He's not staying at the hotel," Willow corrected, "He owns it. And all four of them live there, I think."

"How could he own a hotel when he doesn't have any identification?" "He paid cash," Willow answered and receiving the expected shocked look from her friend. He paid cash? For a hotel? *** you want me? well, fuckin' well come and find me. i'll be waitin' "Hello there," Penn said in a voice dripping with charm as the Slayer walked into the lobby. Every time he saw her, he regretted that the territory had already been claimed by his Sire. As she walked into the room, she looked around slowly and Penn watched as her long, silky blonde hair shifted over her shoulders. He had only been partially kidding when he said he wanted to taste her. "Hi...um, Penn, right?" Buffy asked. "Yep," he nodded, taking in her slim figure while she looked around the hotel, "What can I do for you?" "I was looking for Angel, actually," she said and Penn smiled knowingly. Of course she was looking for Angel. He couldn't believe how the man attracted women - both demon females and human. If there was a member of the opposite sex in the picture, she was swooning over his Sire. Spike and Penn had begrudgingly accepted that fact over their long years in knowing him but Penn had made a silent rule long ago to never introduce his women to Angel if it could be avoided. Drusilla was a perfect example of what not to do. Spike was crazy for living under the same roof when his mate couldn't stay out of their Sire's bed. The part that usually pissed him off the most was that except for this little blonde, Angel never even wanted them! "He's downstairs," Penn answered, nodding toward the door, "Go on down. I'm sure he won't mind." He grinned evilly as she headed downstairs. He knew Angel was down there working out and probably looked like shit. He watched her open the door and head down the steps with small, shy steps. He hoped the old Sire was extremely pissed off from this little stunt. Buffy blinked as her eyes adjusted to the dim light and tiptoed basement steps. She felt like an intruder as she wandered down, taking in the musty scent that all basements seemed to have. She listened for any sounds at all but heard none and as she got to the last step, he came into view. His muscular bare chest appeared, clearing her mind of lucid thought. His bare feet and arms moved in a graceful kata. She always thought that repeatedly doing the same movements over and over was kinda useless once the motions were memorized. Seeing him absorbed in concentration, body flexing in a god-like manner, made her change her mind. Katas were the perfect way to work out. Lesson learned. She thought about saying something, but her throat was suddenly dry and she found herself wondering why she hurried over her after her first afternoon class to talk to him. She was content not talking, though, and continuing to look. As he turned, she saw a large bird-like tattoo on his right shoulder and it seemed seductive to her innocent eyes. She wasn't sure why a bird drawn in ink on skin would leave her breathless and flushed, but it did. Everything about how he moved, looked and smelled left her flushed. Whenever he was out of sight, she almost convinced herself that she imagined how beautiful he was until she saw him again and was corrected. She thought she was going to melt into a puddle of desire before his eyes

shifted to her. His sweeping arms froze as he saw her and he blinked for a second before dropping his arms. "Buffy," he said, inwardly cursing Penn for sending her down here. It had to be Penn because no one else would get such pleasure from making him look like an ass. Except Spike, of course, but he was more obvious about things than Penn. Angel hurriedly moved to slip his shirt back on and felt it clinging to his sweaty chest as he turned to look at her. He ran a hand over his hair and looked at the beauty standing in front of him. She was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and somehow she made the casual attire unbelievably sexy. He wanted to send flowers to the person who made those jeans. They hugged her curves in all the right places and made it very hard not to stare. "Hi," she answered hoarsely, "I'm sorry for interrupting your workout." "That's okay," he said. He wasn't sorry at all that she had interrupted, he was only sorry that he was all sweaty and disgusting when she arrived. "I just wanted to thank you," she said, "for saving my life last night." "You're welcome," he said, moving toward the stairs and leading the way back to the lobby. He gave Penn a deadly stair as his eyes landed on him and a vicious smile came back at him. "Want something to drink?" he asked nervously. "Yeah, we have plenty of-" Penn started and was interrupted as Angel nearly shouted over his words, "Water. We have water and tea." "I actually have class," Buffy answered, "So I have to get back. I just wanted to drop in and thank you." "Oh, okay," he said, nodding, trying to think of something else to say and coming up empty. "Are you going to the club tonight?" Penn said. He ignored Angel's flashing yellow eyes as he moved in closer to the petite blonde, "It's Thursday. Ladies night." "Are you guys going?" Buffy asked, looking over at Angel for the answer. "Sure," he shrugged, "Why not? See you there?" "Okay," she said, giving him a blinding smile, "See you later." Buffy moved toward the door but didn't leave completely. She felt only slightly guilty as she leaned as closely as she could to the door without being seen. She hugged herself as she heard Angel yell at Penn, "What the hell is your problem?" "What?" Penn asked in a voice that betrayed his pleasure at the anger coming at him. "You know exactly what I'm talking about," Angel's voice answered, wafting through the doors to her ears. "Aw, come on. Loosen up, big guy," Penn returned, "She didn't find out anything, so you can calm down now." "Stay away from her," Angel ordered loudly, "I've seen the way you look at her. Lay one hand on her and I'll break every bone in your miserable body."

"Angelus," Penn said, responding to his Sire's violence, "You may be in love with her but you can never have her. Neither can I. We both know that." "I know that!" Angel said quietly, "I know I can never have her. I know." *** Part Three - "Bad to be Good" NOTE: Lines used here from the "War Zone." *** a weak, weak, weak, weak slave, a weak slave that goes to the wall. "I'm broken," Buffy sighed as Giles set about his third round of Slayerosity tests. "Really Buffy," Giles sighed back, "You must concentrate. You are not broken." "Something is really wrong with me and my reflexes are not the issue this time, so why are we concentrating exactly?" Buffy complained, "Maybe you're off your game too." "Buffy, please." "Sorry," Buffy relented, "I didn't mean that. It's just this can't sense the vampires thing and the hottie who loves me but can't love me. It's the first week of school!" "The hottie?" Giles asked. "Angel," Buffy explained, "Of Angel Investigations. Has this crew of attractive and annoying sidekicks." "Why didn't you tell me that you had met him?" Giles demanded, jerking his glasses off of his face to reveal more clearly his disapproval. "What's the big? I met a guy and I'm supposed to report it to you?" "You met a vampire and his vampire progeny. That's what you're supposed to report to me." "He's not a vampire, Giles," Buffy pleaded, " Please tell me he isn't a vampire and you're making this up because I've been slacking on patrol this week." "He most certainly is a vampire." *** a pretty piece of flesh, and yes, you better show your crest, shoulder holster strapped, i'm pullin' from the chest. guess who's gonna be the first to pull it from you. "Need to talk to you," Spike said, coming up behind Angel on the street as he headed for The Velvet Dog for an unofficial date with Buffy. Angel was already tense and irritated that this little meeting was set up by Penn, who was trying to screw everything up as it was. He really didn't want to deal with Spike right now.

"What?" Angel asked, stopping to face Spike. "I thought sure this Slayer thing would keep you off my mate but since she's hasn't given you any yet, I guess that means you still have to move in on my territory," he shouted. "First of all, your mate, faithful as she is, came to me. Secondly, you're out of line, William. If you want her to stay out of my bed, then keep her out of it!" "I'm so tired of your holier than thou Sire bullshit. You don't own her or me." "That's a relief," Angel sneered back, "Feel free to go at any time." Angel stalked off angrily, leaving Spike steaming behind him. Although he didn't want to admit it, Angel knew that Spike was well aware of what was going on. He just couldn't deal with the idea that Drusilla was to blame, so the shit had to roll elsewhere. In the same situation, he would probably react the same way - or worse actually. If he were dating Buffy - that's a laugh - in an alternate universe where he was fit to touch just a golden hair on her head and he found out some other guy was sleeping with her... Lost in thought, he didn't hear Spike coming up behind him again until it was too late. He felt a hand on his arm and was spun around. Using the element of surprise, Spike sucker punched his Sire. "That was for last night!" Spike growled before pushing Angel up against the wall and speaking softly, "Now listen to me." "Spike," Angel growled back, "You don't want to start this with me." "Listen, mate," Spike said in an almost whisper, "Saw your other golden Childe talking to that lawyer last night." "Why didn't you tell me this before?" Angel demanded, "You knew she couldn't sense us and that something was wrong!" "You were so busy with my mate, I thought you didn't need to know," Spike fumed, letting go of Angel, "But listen, we both know he's never been right since he got his soul. I think they're doing something to your girl." "Thank you, Spike," Angel said gratefully. "Wanna thank me? Keep your dick out of Dru." "Last time I'm going to tell you this," Angel said, quietly as he stood up from the wall, "She's coming to me and I've asked her to stop. You need to deal with her on this. I've tried to keep her away and she won't listen. With Buffy in the picture, the last thing I want is to jeopardize what I don't have with another woman." Turning once more, Angel moved toward The Velvet Dog with a new sense of determination. He had to find out what was being done to Buffy and how to stop it. *** love lorn, torn from two sides, thinking of dark skies, and through the heavens i be seeing worlds collide.

"Do you see him anywhere?" Buffy asked, craning her neck to see every corner of the club. "Are you going to stake him right away or do we get to watch you beat him up first?" Xander asked excitedly. He looked around at the dirty looks he was receiving and added, "What? He's a vampire. We're all cuddly toward them now?" "Please," Buffy said, glancing at him for a second before returning to her search of the club, "Just don't talk about Angel, okay?" "You're talking about him," Xander said, crossing his arms. "Shut up, Xander," Willow said harshly, "Sorry. This is a very upsetting thing for Buffy." "Who's upset?" Cordy asked, glaring at Willow. Xander touched her leg under the table to quiet her and before the two girls began throwing insults, Buffy stood. "There he is," Buffy said, sliding out her seat and heading across the dance floor to him. She lengthened her strides as she neared him, reminding herself that he was a creature of the night and not in any way a good guy. Well, maybe he was a good guy. Truthfully, she was confused. Giles explained the whole cursed soul deal, but it just seemed weird. Something in her mind just wanted it to be less gray and more simple: Vampires were evil. Angel is a vampire. Angel is evil. But it wasn't working. Certain factors kept creeping in that ruined the whole equation. He said that he loved her and apparently his friend or Childe or whatever knew it. He admitted it like it was common knowledge. Then there was the saving her life thing. She thought back on every time she'd seen him or talked to him. She, admittedly, had the tendency to be naive when it came to men, but his eyes were so deep that they had to lead to a soul. She stopped in front of him and waited for him to acknowledge her. Hands on her hips, face covered in anger, she glowered at him. "I need to talk to you," he said. "Yeah, you really do, vampire," she snapped, following him to the corner, knowing that the eyes of her friends were following them as well. "So you know now," he said just loud enough so she could hear him over the thumping house beat. The music usually pumped her up and made her feel good, but tonight it was a distracting noise, fueling her emotions. "That'd be a big yes," she answered, shifting away from his eyes for a second and finding the rest of his physique just as distracting, "What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you think the vampire thing was a pretty big detail to not mention?" "I don't know, Slayer," Angel said, raising his voice slightly, "Not like you were all about telling me what you do at night. Besides, how long would I have had to tell you about my soul before you staked me?" "Glad you brought that up," she said, "You think it makes you and your little undead pals good because you have souls now?" "No," Angel said, shaking his head negatively, "I think it makes me remorseful of what I've done in my life. It doesn't make me good. It makes me want to be good. That's not the case for all of us, which is why I need to talk to you."

Buffy waited for him to continue, feeling the lump move from her throat to her heart. She felt like she was swelling in front of him and if he kept talking she might start to believe him. "Look, there's a law firm here in town that's so evil, they make vampires look like kittens." Angel paused and looked around him before continuing, "I think Penn is working with them and they've done something to you. There has to be a reason you didn't sense us." "A law firm?" Buffy asked incredibly, "The reason I can't sense vampires is because there are some evil lawyers in town? Give me a break." Buffy said, turning away from him, feeling the anger overtake her body. He was lying. He had to be. What kind of moron would buy that story? She felt his hand on her arm and was suddenly against his body. Two large hands covered her shoulders, holding her tightly to his chest. Taking the risk of getting his ass kicked or getting staked, he lowered his mouth to hers. He kissed her roughly, pushing his tongue into her warm mouth. Just as if his dream was coming to life, she responded to his kiss, her small hand moving up to touch the side of his face. He allowed himself to thread his fingers into her hair as he had done so many times before while he slept and deepened the kiss as he realized it was silkier, softer and warmer than his dreams could portray. When the kiss ended, he looked down into her eyes, "I love you. I'm not supposed to and I don't want to but I can't help it. You can hate me, Buffy. You have every right to, but I'm not going to stop helping you. I'm going to do what I have to do to protect you." "I don't know how to deal with this," Buffy answered quietly, which was a fantastic answer to Angel's starving ears. It was so much better than a straight out rejection or the stake through the heart alternative. "You don't have to," Angel said, "I will." *** i feel just like a local god when i'm with the boys. we do what we want, yes we do what we want. i feel just like a local god when i'm with the boys. we do what we want, yes, we do what we want. "Isn't that kinda revealing for patrol?" Willow asked as she accompanied her friend through the streets of LA on Friday night. Buffy looked down at her electric blue halter and black pants, "You think it's too slutty?" "Slutty' is probably not the right word," Willow said, biting her lip, "Maybe I'll just stick with revealing.'" "I guess I was just thinking about..." Buffy said, allowing her sentence to fade. "Um, Angel?" Willow asked with a knowing grin. "Yeah," Buffy said, nodding, "Pathetic, I know." "It's not pathetic," Willow defended, "It's very unpathetic in a nonpathetic way, but...."

"Right," Buffy pouted as she twirled her stake in her hand, "Vampire. Will, I just...I don't know how to-" Buffy stopped talking and listened intently. Just as Willow was about to ask what was wrong, Buffy ran down the street, turning left at the alley. Willow followed, breathing heavily as she chased after her friend. The alley looked like a war zone as a gang of teenagers fought a much larger gang of vampires. She joined the fight, slaying vampires alongside the gang members, who all wondered who the blonde intruder was. Buffy was impressed with the stake launcher attached to the back of their pick up truck and the other inventive devices they had come up with. They obviously had fought the night many times before this. A young girl, who looked to be about fifteen, screamed and Buffy spun to see the vampire sink his teeth into her throat. Her friends turned and began running towards her when Buffy dove across the alley. She knocked them both to the ground with the force of her jump, smiling as the demon's fangs slipped out of the girl. Buffy rolled over on the asphalt, grabbing the girl as she went. Depositing her shaken body to the side, Buffy rolled back and struck out contacting boot with ridged face before staking him. Buffy turned back and checked on the girl as the vampire exploded into dust. "Are you okay?" Buffy asked, climbing to her feet and offering the teenager a hand. "Yeah," the girl said nodding, "I thought I was a goner." Her face was ashen but by the look of her, Buffy was certain that this girl didn't usually look nourished and rosy cheeked. "Who are you?" a deep voice from behind asked her and she turned to look at the person in question. He was tall and broad shouldered. An expression covered his handsome face that Buffy couldn't really identify. It was kinda angry-happy-irritated-relieved. "Buffy," she answered, "Who are you?" "Gunn," he answered, moving his palm over his smooth, hairless head, "Thanks for your help. Where'd you come from? Never seen a girl like you fight vamps before. Looks like you should be at club or something." "Trying to get there," Buffy answered, slightly regretting her wardrobe choice for this evening, "I've never seen a vampire fighting gang before. Is that what you are?" "Yeah," he said, nodding, "What are you? Cause you ain't no ordinary girl." "I'm The Slayer," she answered and received a chorus of oohs and ahs from the gang behind Gunn. Willow came up and stood behind her, clearing her throat loudly and Buffy added, "This is my friend, Willow." "Hey," Gunn said in greeting, "Thanks for helping out. We wouldn't have suffered a much bigger loss if you hadn't come along." "You're wel-" "Incoming!" shouted a voice followed by the body of a teenaged boy running up to Gunn with a crossbow in his hands, panting and out of breath, "Moving this way fast. Jumping roof top to roof top." "Where you followed? He see you?" Gunn asked, turning his back on Buffy and Willow unapologetically and moving to follow his friends. "No way," the boy answered proudly.

"Let's check it out," Gunn said as his gang filed in behind him. Buffy and Willow followed along as well as they went inside a building only to peek out from a gated entrance on the other side. Buffy sucked in a breath as she saw the "incoming" in question was Angel. He was standing in front of a rough looking man who was leaning on a parked car. "What do you want?" the thug asked. "Big question: What do I want?" Angel answered, pretending to think for a second, "Love family - a place on this planet I can call my own, but you know what?" "What?" the man asked, waiting for the answer and Buffy waited as well, already melting in the shadows from his words. "I'm never going to have any of those things and unless these next few minutes go exactly the way I want them to, neither are you. I want to know what the firm has planned for The Slayer." "Don't work for Wolfram & Hart anymore," he lied, unconvincingly. "Oh! You only get one lie," Angel added, "I probably should have mentioned that first. "Look pal," the thug said, patting Angel on the shoulder, "You're obviously not from around here, but trust me, you do not want to see my bad side." "You show me yours," Angel said, as his face shifted to reveal his demon, "I show you mine." Buffy looked up at Gunn who was grinning widely. "Don't worry, ya'll," Gunn whispered to his crew, "I know that fool. It's cool." "Okay," Angel growled, not noticing his audience. He grabbed the thug and pushed him roughly against the side of the car. "So now I'm from around here. In fact, I'm moving in, taking over. You understand me? I will dog you every night for the rest of your very short life until you bring me the information I want. I want to know what they've done to The Slayer. Are we clear?" Angel glared as the thug nodded frantically in response. He pushed him back on last time and sneered, "Yeah, see ya tomorrow." "You know him?" Buffy asked, peering up into Gunn's eyes. "Yeah, well, he ain't breathing, but he's alright. I've helped him out a couple of times," Gunn answered. "So he's good, right?" Buffy said, looking back quickly to see that Angel had already gone. "Yeah, as far as vamps go...So, are you still clubbing it tonight?" Gunn asked with an alluring smile, "Cause all of a sudden, I feel like dancing." *** well, you better not see me when you come back. "Not to pry," Spike said as he and Angel stopped in front of Wolfram & Hart's massive office building, "But is there a reason Penn's chained up in the basement?"

"Yes," Angel answered, pausing at the entrance of the parking garage to look the blonde vampire. "Don't keep me in suspense. I know you got a big ole yen for The Slayer, but this is kinda like Angelus behavior, isn't it? You're always telling me to be all nice like and now you're torturing people." "This is Sire to Childe punishment," Angel said, deadly serious and angry, "He's going to stay down there until I find out what's been done to Buffy. And it's not torturing, it's holding." "Whatever, mate." "What you're about to see," Angel growled as a black limousine pulled out of the garage, "This is torture." Spike followed Angel to the car and according to plan, within 30 seconds, two tires were flat and they were sitting calmly inside with Lindsey McDonald. "Hey Lindsey," Angel said, leaning back in his seat as Spike blew smoke across the car at the lawyer. "How's Lilah?" Spike asked with a cold smile. "In therapy," Lindsey answered, "I should thank you for that, Spike." "No problem," Spike said laughing happily, "Be glad to help out again anytime." "Sorry to break up the niceties," Angel said, "But I've got some business with you, Lindsey." "What would that be?" he asked as the black protective window separating the front of the limo from the back, slid down. Angel reached back and pulled the guard who was about to attack him through the window and pushed him to the floor. He stomped his boot down on the guard's face and turned back to the driver. "Roll it back up," he demanded. Lindsey gave a short nod and the window slowly moved back up. "Angel's a little testy," Spike said in a falsely confidential voice, "You guys are hurting The Slayer. Makes him all crazy." "So why are you here?" Lindsey asked. "Just for the fun," Spike answered truthfully, "I was hoping I could watch him kill you. He doesn't kill people too much anymore. Makes for a boring, goody-goody lifestyle we got going." "What are you doing to The Slayer?" Angel asked, crunching his boot down on the guard so Lindsey would hear a cry of pain. "I wasn't informed. I'm a junior partner. I do what I'm told." "Glad to hear it," Angel growled, "Let me tell you what you're going to do. Go back to the people who actually have balls in the firm and tell them that if The Slayer isn't back to normal tomorrow, I'm coming back."

"And then what?" Lindsey asked, trying to remain calm and wondering if these defanged vampires would actually kill him, "Just for curiosity's sake." "You don't want to know," Spike said, slapping Lindsey's suited shoulder like a comrade as he hopped back out of the car, "Trust me. It gets ugly from here."

it was a scream last night it was getting kinda fun The mansion was quiet when Angel and Spike returned. Eerily quiet. The two souled vampires took a second and stood just inside the double doors, listening for anything. Without looking at each or uttering a single word, they pivoted in separate directions. With vampiric speed propelling them forward, Angel headed toward the basement and Spike went up the stairs. Angel could hear Spike calling Drusilla's name through the hallways upstairs as he stood still in front of the hanging chains that had held Penn. Fury infused Angel's normally rational blood as he stared at the empty wall. Even though he already knew this was going to happen, it didn't stop the anger from taking over. He headed back up the stairs, feeling his darkest roots bolting headfirst into his emotions. "She's gone!" Spike screamed at his Sire with wide, panicked eyes. "I know," Angel answered, nodding. "Well, we've got to find her!" he screamed again, finding his way down the stairs. He ran out the door and was flung back inside, sliding across the lobby floor. "Calm down, Spike." "Calm down?" Spike yelled, jumping to his feet, "When it's your bloody mate, it's full steam ahead and when it's mine, you're all calm down? Fuck you! We're finding her!" "I know where she is," Angel answered, moving toward the door. Spike ran up and stood between Angel and the door. "Where is she?" "She's with Penn." "Where the bloody hell is Penn?" "At Wolfram and Hart." "Oh hell no," Spike said, shaking his head, "You aren't going to tell me you think she's working with that crazy Childe of yours." "Okay," Angel said, "I won't." "She's working with him?" Spike asked, sinking to the stairs and holding his head in his hands. "No," Angel answered, his mouth curling into a cold scowl, "Penn thinks she is."

"Did you plan something without me, ya bloody Poof?" Spike asked, rising to his feet once more, "How dare you put her in danger without even telling me first!" "You wouldn't have let her go," Angel answered, walking out the door. Spike stood there and watched them swing back and forth for a second before yelling, "You're damn right, I wouldn't have!" *** chi-chi-bow stars and bottle rocket fantasies, but on the streets some knights and killers, they be after me. "You're looking a little twitchy, Lilah," Penn said from his seat across the desk. Lilah sat behind it and looked as if she wished there was a reinforced steel wall there instead. She was having less than cuddly feelings toward vampires lately. She had been staring at Drusilla as she floated around the office, touching things at random, until Penn spoke to her. The infamous Drusilla was in her office and just the idea of it made her skin crawl, so did the thoughts of how Spike would react when he found out his mate had turned against him. She had the tiny fear nestling inside her that the blonde vampire would blame her for whatever happened to his girl. That fear was quickly turning to chills that ran nonstop up and down her spine. "Really?" Lilah answered, with false confidence, "So do you." "I have good reason," Penn answered, looking calm despite Lilah's comment. "If you two are done," Lindsey said, from his perched corner of Lilah's desk, "We should get to business. Spike will find out Dru is gone soon and that she set you free. I'm sure we should prepare for the building to be breached." "Spike," Drusilla whispered and turned to show them her haunted eyes, "Spike won't like this. He'll want to hurt you." "I know," Lilah answered, shaken. "Then we should be quick," Lindsey said brightly, standing up, "Penn, did you treat Angel's blood supply?" "Yep," he nodded, smiling, "Of course, there's a strong possibility that Spike could drink it too. Or already has." "That's fine," Lindsey answered, "We already accounted for that possibility." Turning to Lilah, he asked, "The spells on Buffy?" "In place," Lilah answered, rising to her feet, "She can't sense vampires and after seeing Angel tonight, the other spell should click in place." "Good," Lindsey said to her before facing Penn again, "You will be able to take out The Slayer before he gets to you?" "Sure," Penn replied, "But I have one last warning for you two." "Your Sire is a big, mean bad guy, yada, yada, yada," Lindsey said with a wave of his prosthetic hand, "I noticed, thanks."

"No," Penn answered, reaching out to Drusilla who melded herself to his side, "You've never seen my Sire. Hell will crawl back to earth tonight." "He'll hurt you," Drusilla said, focusing her mad eyes on Lindsey's bright blue ones, "Just like he hurt me...only worse." *** self preservation is what's really going on today Angel knew the plan, knew where Dru was and what she was doing. He had a good idea what Penn had in mind and despite all the comforting knowledge, he was still reeling with his own uncontrollable anger. His hands shook as he headed to the small house across town and knocked on the door. "Hello?" the questioning voice said, coming from the mouth of an older British gentleman. "I'm Angel. You must be Rupert Giles." "Angelus?" Giles asked, forcing himself not to step away from the door simply because he knew that the invisible barrier would keep him out. Knowing a vampire had a soul who was supposedly good and facing said vampire were two entirely different things. "Not exactly," Angel answered. "I don't think I feel comfortable inviting you in," Giles admitted, "Even though Buffy seems to trust you." "Please don't," Angel said, not seeming to be offended, "I'll spit this out quickly. Wolfram & Hart, the law firm, have been working with Penn to do something to Buffy." "Your sired Childe?' "Yes," Angel said, holding out one of his business cards, "I'm taking Buffy to my hotel and keeping her there until I figure out what's going on. I wanted you to know where she was going to be." "I appreciate the courtesy," Giles answered, "But I'm not overly convinced that leaving her in your care is the best option." "It's the only option." Giles watched his duster billowing out behind him as he walked away and shivered for a moment. This was the vampire that Buffy referred to as a "hottie"? The deadly look in his eyes was all Rupert Giles could see. He was walking vengeance yet to be exacted. *** i didn't know where to shake my butt walked backwards, fucked like a fox Buffy and Willow danced with Gunn at The Velvet Dog. It was later than they usually stayed out dancing but the fun just kept coming, so they stayed. Buffy was impressed with Gunn's dance moves and Willow couldn't stop laughing at his complaints with the music choices. "Where's the bounce to this?" Gunn asked, as he moved in perfect time to the beat.

"I think they keep it at another club," Willow said, laughing and dancing along. "That ain't no shit," Gunn said and grinned at Willow's chuckle. Buffy cracked a smile at his whining over the music. She loved the undertoned thump, the way the sound penetrated her body and wound its way around her emotions. The song switched, slowing down and Willow, breathing heavily, said, "I'm going to get a drink." ''Kay," Buffy answered. Gunn moved closer, placing his hands on her hips. He moved, guiding her into a sensual dance. Hands above her head, she moved with him, allowing herself to be swept away by the feeling of being held, of moving in time with another person. Angel walked into the club and scanned the crowd. It didn't take him long to spot Buffy and Gunn moving together on the dance floor. His friend's large hands rested on Buffy's hips and they ground together to a slow, sensual beat. Her shirt left places of skin visible just above her hips and Gunn's fingers brushed against those places. An emotion older than he was beat against his heart and he growled loudly. The music kept almost everyone from hearing him except for a couple standing close to him, who moved away quickly. "Gunn," he said, once he had crossed the room, standing in the middle of the dance floor like a statue, not bothering to pretend he wasn't there to dance. "Hey Angel," Gunn answered, smiling. "Hey." Angel didn't bother greeting Buffy, he simply stared down at the hands that rested on her hips until Gunn removed them. "Is there something I should know about you two?" Gunn asked, looking from Buffy to Angel and back again. Buffy had asked about Angel before and he assumed they knew each other, but the way Angel looked like he was going to rip his throat out at any second, he guessed that they knew each other more than she let on. "No," Buffy answered, crossing her arms. As she did, she was reminded that she was braless and her back was bare. It didn't seem like a big deal before Angel walked in. Now she felt naked and vulnerable...and hot. All of a sudden the room seemed much warmer than it had before, despite the coldness that radiated off the vampire. "Well, that's good," Gunn said nodding, "Because I thought for a second that the undead here looked a little jealous." "Buffy, I need to talk to you," Angel said, after giving Gunn an irritated glare.. "About what?" she asked, not moving from her spot at Gunn's side. "About your safety," he answered, taking a deep unneeded breath in an attempt to bring himself back to the land of the sane, "Something's up." "Ya think?" she answered sarcastically, gaining a look of surprise from Gunn. "Oookay," Gunn said as he bent to peck Buffy on the cheek, "I think I'm gonna go check on my crew. Thanks for the dance, Buff." Gunn laughed his way out of the door as he remembered the murderous look in the vampire's eyes when he kissed her. It was the funniest thing he had seen in a long time and kept him grinning all the way back to his headquarters. ***

dear, i fear we're facing a problem Buffy felt more off than usual and it wasn't just the vampire walking next to her. Her intestines felt like they were braiding themselves inside her belly as they headed for the hotel. She had been feeling strange since she came to town and now she was sure that each step was an effort to keep up with her mind. Angel was talking. His voice rumbled through her, filling up the crevices that cracked inside her, but she couldn't seem to involve herself with the conversation. She kept raking her eyes over his body which was cloaked in that damn duster. She wanted to rip it off him and do the same with the rest of his clothes. Her virgin eyes couldn't wait to feast on his flesh. "Buffy?" Angel said, as he stopped in front of the hotel, "Are you listening to me?" "What?" she asked, looking up into his eyes. He caught himself bending toward her lips and stepped away. "I'll take that as a no,'" he said, taking her hand. The moment he did that he knew it was a mistake. Her body heat was traveling through his. It was fantastic and horrible and unbearable and perfect. Once inside the doors, he pulled his hand away and took off his coat, so he had an excuse for the action. In hindsight, he thought he should have chained himself alongside Penn. With this little blonde woman standing there with that hungry look in her eyes, he was not to be trusted. He led her up the stairs to his room. He knew she had to sleep in his room. How else could he make sure that no one touched her? But he didn't know how he was going to make it through the night with her in his bed. Even if he slept in his leather chair, she was still in his bed, filling the bedclothes with her scent. When he opened his door, Drusilla was lying on his bed and as disturbing as the sight was, he was extremely thankful that she was dressed. He heard Buffy's sharp intake of breath as she looked on the beautiful vampiress in Angel's bed. Buffy thought she looked way too comfortable there and felt the urge to stake her. Her only disappointment would be that she couldn't do it more than once. "My Angel," she crooned from the bed. "Dru," Angel growled, "What are you doing?" She knelt on the edge of the bed and pulled Angel to her, ignoring the glare of The Slayer. Her hands moved over his chest without shame and she whispered, "They're planning. Going to hurt you and The Slayer." "I know," he said, smoothing her hair, "But you have to go back to Penn. Keep an eye on him." "Can't," she said, whimpering. "Why not?" "Spike," she whispered. "Spike!" Angel roared. Buffy jumped aside as the door swung open. Spike stormed in, ridged face intact, dragging a bloody form that looked remotely like Penn. The body was flung into the room, landing against the wall and leaving a bloody mark where he had struck the plaster. "What are you doing?" Angel shouted, "Do you have a working brain cell under all that peroxide?"

"Did Drusilla tell you what he did? Did she?" Angel looked down at Dru who only whimpered in response. "Fucker figured it out," Spike raged, "Tried to stake my mate. Tell him Dru! Tell him what that little bastard did." "He was going to hurt us," Dru said, moving off the bed, "I couldn't let him. Had to hurt him first." Penn was rising to his feet, dragging his shoulder against the wall as he stood. Angel turned at the sound. "Traitorous bitch," Penn croaked, "I thought you of all people would understand." "Understand what?" Angel asked, "That you were trying to kill the only woman I've ever loved? How can you call Dru a traitor? What happened to you, Penn?" "All you care about is The Slayer," Penn groaned, clutching his stomach, "For years, that's all you've ever thought about and now that she's here, it's worse than ever. You've been trying to become human. You're not. We're not." "It's our desires that make us human. You have a soul," Angel answered. He could feel Buffy's eyes prying into him from across the room and tried to dismiss the feeling. Way too much information was being shared here, "Is there a reason you've never seemed to notice?" "I'm a demon!" Penn shouted, coughing violently before continuing, "So are you! We all are. You know what I think of every day? Killing my sister. My first kill at your instruction. Savor it,' you said. Now you stand there and talk to me about human desires? You destroyed everything! You made me what I am. Now you have to deal with it!" "What have you done with Wolfram & Hart?" Angel demanded. "It's too late," Penn said, laughing, "It's done. You can't stop it. Everything is going to be simple soon." "What did you do?" Angel roared, revealing his demon. He grabbed Penn and slammed him against the wall, holding him up off of his feet. He was greeted with another dose of Penn's laughter. He dropped him and turned to face Dru. "Drusilla, what did you find out?" "They put something in your blood," Dru said, lightly licking the tips of her fingers. "What?" "They performed spells on The Slayer. Wicked little spells to change her," Dru answered, looking across the room at Buffy, "Changing her on the inside." "Drusilla," Spike said finally, pulling her into his arms, "Please, love. What's going to happen?" "Don't know," she said, laying her head on his chest, "Can't see. They've blinded me." Drusilla's head swung forward as Spike's chest moved away from her. He grabbed Angel's night stand and broke the small wooden table against the wall. Scooping up one of the legs, he rushed forward and staked Penn over the sound of Angel's roar.

"Damn it, Spike!" Angel shouted, knocking the stake from his hand and punching him, "We needed him to find out how to stop this!" "He wasn't going to tell us," Spike said, moving around Angel, "He hurt Dru. Asshole's been begging for a stake through the heart for over 100 years." Spike swept Dru into his arm and stormed back out of the room, leaving Buffy and Angel alone. *** she looked just like a dream, she was on fire last night, and i was breathing gasoline "You guys are ruining the definite opinions I've always had about vampires," Buffy said, breaking through the silence. "Sorry," Angel said with worry on his face, "I wish I knew what was going on, how to stop this. Obviously my blood supply is destroyed, so it's good that I know that now. We need to find out what spells they've performed on you." "Pfft," Buffy said, waving her hand through the air, "I'm fine." "Are you sure?" Angel said, stepping slightly closer, "Cause you don't seem fine." "Don't I look fine?" she asked, smoothing her hands over her belly, sliding under her shirt so she felt her own bare flesh. Angel's heart was caught in his throat as he greedily watched her fingers move across her tight stomach. Maybe it wasn't his heart that was effected. He watched, breathing unsteady unnecessary breaths as her hand moved around and pulled away the tie that held her wisp of a shirt on. As she released the strings, the halter simply fell away, revealing a beautifully bare torso and perfectly rounded breasts. "Buffy..." Angel answered, staring at her skin. In his mind, he was already touching it, already leaving kisses on each inch of exposed flesh. She moved forward, swinging her hips generously, capturing him in a world of confusion. He had dreamed about this. Not exactly this, but something similar. Now he stepped back, only to tumble into his leather chair. She knelt over him, bare breasts hovering at eye level. He pressed himself back into the chair, knowing it would have to actually become a part of it to keep from touching her. She lowered herself, resting her ass against his thighs and kissed him lightly. "Don't you want to touch me?" she asked, kissing him again, nibbling at his lips. "Yes," he answered through gritted teeth as he felt the arms of his chair breaking under his hands. He didn't move as she unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it open. She splayed her small hands over his chest, radiating so much heat, he thought if he looked down there would be scorch marks from where she had been. "Your skin," she whispered, lowering to kiss his chest, "So cool. Feels so good." "Buffy, you're under a spell," he groaned as she pressed against his arousal, "You're not thinking straight. You don't want this." "Yes, I do," she whispered, sucking his neck and scraping her teeth over his flawless skin. Using the last bit of his strength, he stood, lifting her with him. He carried her to the bed and laid her there. He backed away from her, trying to look away from her but found that he couldn't. He saw the sadness cross her face as she realized his rejection and felt guilty for doing the right thing.

"I thought you wanted me," she said, lying against his pillows and making no effort to move or cover herself. Her voice was filled with hurt as her fingers absently traced her abdomen. "I do," he replied hoarsely, engrossed by the trail those little fingers were making. "Then make love to me, Angel," she whispered huskily. "Can't," he said, shaking his head, "It's wrong." She stood and shut the door that was still open and he knew without asking that she didn't close it to keep anyone from seeing them. She wanted to keep him inside that room. He didn't move away as she moved toward him again. He wasn't sure there was a point anyway. The scent of her arousal was filling the room and seeping under the door, heating up the entire hotel with lust. Perfectly manicured nails scraped his skin as she pulled his shirt off. She pressed her chest against his, enjoying the battle of their temperatures. Her nipples hardened against his cold skin as she smoothed her hands over his back. She rose to her tip toes and kissed him. He groaned in defeat into her mouth as he responded, pushing his tongue into her mouth and wrapping his arms around her. He lifted her several inches off the floor, kissing her deeply as he moved toward the bed. A small part of his mind batted a constant reminder that this was wrong and everything else didn't care as he laid her down. In slow worship, he removed the rest of her clothes and his own. He took a moment to look over her, flushed and breathing heavily as she laid on his bed. Starting at her ankles, he eased his hands up her legs, loving the feel of her skin. He nudged her thighs apart and she unfolded without hesitation, baring her dripping core to his gaze. She waited, feeling slightly self conscious as he looked over her body but she took the opportunity to look over him as well. He was beautiful kneeling there between her thighs, skin looking as if it had been chiseled from marble, erect cock standing out from his groin. She whimpered, forcing him into motion. He tasted her, laving long strokes over her moist heat. As he sucked her clitoris into his mouth, he pushed a finger inside her, feeling the barrier of her virginity. The reality of the situation rained down on him and he stopped for a moment. Promising himself he would stop after feeling her first orgasm flood into his mouth, he continued lashing his tongue against her in utter adoration. She arched against him, caressing his back and shoulders. As her release came closer, she began shaking beneath him, grinding against his face. He held her thighs open as he continued, lapping up the honey as it formed inside her. Buffy couldn't believe the feelings that were washing over her. Nothing in her life had prepared her for what Angel was doing to her. Passion rose and whipped at her as she moaned under her lover. She couldn't keep from touching him. She loved the coolness of his skin, the way he warmed under her fingers. The power of it was enthralling. When he sat up again, he wished he could disappear. She was so tantalizing there, breathing heavily, skin glowing from her climax, thighs spread in an invitation to him. He couldn't fathom the thought of the woman he loved losing her virginity to demon when she was obviously under some sort of evil spell. She reached out for him and pulled to him her as she captured his lips once more. "Don't stop," she whispered as she felt his hesitation. "You're a virgin," he said in an almost animal cry of pain. "I know," she said, smiling at him.

"I can't take that from you," he groaned as she pressed against him, clinging to him, "I'm a demon." "I want you to have it, Angel," she answered, holding his face between her hands, "I want to feel you inside me." Moving slowly, Angel poised at her entrance, already melting from her heat. He looked up at her for confirmation and she nodded slowly, opening wider for him. He entered her a little at a time, allowing her to grow accustomed to him. He slipped his fingers between them to massage her engorged clit as he prepared himself for the pain to reach her. He kissed her deeply as he entered her fully and kept kissing her as she moaned in pain. Several seconds were required before her second orgasm washed over her, absorbing her pain. He began moving inside her more steadily and she moved with him, rising up to meet his thrusts. She panted his name as she rounded her third orgasm, slamming up against him. He cried her name as he finally found his own release, feeling the most sating contentment he had ever felt drench his body and soul. He gathered her against him and snuggled into her warmth as they both fell into an exhausted sleep. As dawn neared, Angel sat up in bed as he felt the incredible pain of his soul being ripped from his body. Down the hallway, two more vampires woke with the anguish of losing the only piece of humanity they had left. Three souls fled three bodies and entered the aether together. The curse needed one more soul to claim. With the loss of Penn, it clenched at The Slayer. She awoke last, crying out as sleep left her body, followed quickly by her soul. *** Part Five - "Feeling Free" *** i'm going crazy. i'm going crazy. i don't want feelings, your feelings. i have gone crazy, motherfuckin' crazy, i have gone Angelus opened his eyes and looked at the world from a point of view he had missed for a century - give or take. Just a slight turn of his dark head was required to see The Slayer, glorious and naked beside him. He saw the pain she felt and watched as the realization hit her, waited as a cold smile covered her beautiful face. She focused on him and blinking for a second and he knew, as she did, that they had crossed over together. He lunged and she allowed him to crush her against the mattress. His weight against her, pressing down roughly, felt extraordinary. It felt real. Just like the first time he touched her, she was sure that her life would never be the same. That feeling was screaming now, baring itself to the void that she had become. The dark abyss she entered contained only her and her lover. As it should be. His fangs cut at her lips as he kissed her and she tasted her own blood, feeling as if she could see her future in the tang of herself in his mouth. Buffy was responded in kind to the violent, sensual attack of her lover. "Fuck me," she demanded, digging her nails into his broad back and ignoring the dull pain that still throbbed between her thighs. "I don't need an invitation," he growled, entering her without any of the gentleness he had before. "To fuck a Slayer," she whispered, digging her nails in further and scratching down his back, "You always need an invitation."

He was merciless in the claiming of her and if she cared about anything, it wasn't the pain she felt all over her body as he beat harshly against her. She reared back against him, claiming him as much as he claimed her. The smell of his own blood reminded him of how hungry he was, how long he had craved blood pouring from the carotid artery of a live human being. He lowered his fangs to her throat as he moved inside her. She came the moment he broke her skin and the reaction sent him over the edge as well, careening toward ecstasy buried inside the Slayer, cock and fangs. Buffy allowed him a few moments grace period to taste her. She listened to the guzzling of her own blood emptying from her body into his and thought the feeling strange and surreal. She waited for him to stop as she began to feel slightly weak. He didn't. Using Slayer strength to aid her, she pushed him by his broad shoulders and sent him flying off the bed and onto the hardwood floor. "I don't think I'll let you kill me today, Angelus," she said, slipping off the bed and onto her feet. She stood there looking down at his angry face and laughed at him, throwing her head back. Her golden hair cascaded down her back as she taunted him with her laughter. He jumped to his feet and stood glowering down at her, big and muscular and beautiful. He tried to remain angry but his body was in heaven, filled with her blood, warm from just being inside her. Her skin was rosy from her recent climax and the loss of her soul put a glint in her eyes that was irresistible. "I wasn't going to kill you," he said, finding calm in her beauty, "I was going to turn you." "I see," she said coyly, as she moved around the room to find her clothes, "I think I'll decide when I die. Ya know, if that's okay with you." "You belong to me. The sooner you realize that the better things will be," he growled. Buffy covered her own shiver of delight at his words. The thought of this exquisite demon claiming her as his property, trying to control her, was a fight she was looking forward to. The one thing that Buffy and Angel had in common whether they had souls or not was that they still wanted each other with a violence that could not be compared. "And you belong to me. I've never been one to toe the line, baby," she said, as she finished dressing, "You should know that about me." She headed toward the door, casting a final look over her shoulder, taking in his naked body, standing proudly in the center of the room. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" he asked, checking the urge to toss her back into his bed and rip the flimsy clothes from her body. "Out," she said smiling, "Wanna come? Oh right, it's day. I guess you'll just have to wait for me to come back." "If you don't come back, I'll find you." "If you don't come looking, I might be disappointed." *** i feel free i feel free i feel free i feel free

Buffy felt the eyes of the men on campus following her as she proudly strutted past them with an extra swing to her hips. She had never felt so happy, so free and so unbogged by life in general. Being without a soul was more of a gift than she ever would have imagined. As she crossed the quad, she began to wonder why she was in school in the first place. She was The Slayer, strong and beautiful with a life ahead of her that probably wouldn't be that long. Why was she wasting it inside a classroom? Especially when all she wanted to do was get back in Angelus' bed...on her own terms. She couldn't wait to make The Scourge of Europe' beg for her. She reached up and touched the tender marks on her throat, already beginning to heal and ran a hand through her hair. It was going to be a perfect day. Willow was sleeping when she came in and she stripped off her clothes, put on her robe and headed down to the bathroom to shower. The water seemed to cleanse her of her life before, baptizing her new life, free of obligation and duty. She braced her arms on the shower wall and closed her eyes as the spray pelted her face. She imagined all her sorrows, all of her fealty, everything that kept her from living before being washed down the drain. Her mind wandered to the night before and of this morning. She couldn't grasp the emotions she felt the night before. They made no sense to her soulless mind. But she knew that both sides of her craved the vampire who she was now convinced was her true mate. He was right, she did belong to him. Buffy packed a bag when she went back in the room, moving free and nude through the room as she chose what to wear and what to pack. She slipped on a pair of black silk panties and glanced up to see Willow sitting up in bed, her face wrinkled with confusion. "Are you going somewhere?" Willow asked. She had been awake for several minutes watching her friend move through the room as if gravity could barely hold her to the floor. She had never seen Buffy moving around naked like that before. It seemed odd, but Willow almost thought that if someone walked through the door, her friend wouldn't run to cover herself but would face them with a smile. Something was wrong and Willow didn't need her question answered to figure it out. "Yeah," Buffy said, pulling on a pair of black leather pants, "I'm moving out. I've decided to drop out of school." "Why?" Willow said, scrambling out of bed so quickly she nearly tripped on the sheets, "Did something happen...with Angel?" "Oh Angel," Buffy said, searching for the black bra that matched her panties, "Yeah, something happened." "What happened?" Willow said, trying not to be too confrontational, "Cause you seem a little...I don't know, different." "I'm completely different, Will," Buffy admitted, "I couldn't be more different." "What happened?" Willow asked again, nearly starting to hyperventilate. "First, he made love to me," Buffy said, running her hands over her bare breasts for a moment, lost in the memory. She found the bra she was looking for but decided not to wear it and tossed it in the bag instead, "Then he fucked me. Hard. Ever been fucked so hard your teeth chattered?" "Oh...uh...well..." Willow said, trying to convince her brain that her ears were broken.

"Spit it out," Buffy said, tossing several more things in her tote before slipping on a red halter, knowing Angel liked the sight of her bare back. "Did he...I mean, I don't understand. I thought..." Willow mumbled in confusion as Buffy put on her shoes. "Look, I really don't have time for this. See ya around," Buffy snapped, grabbing Angel's leather jacket and tossing it over her arm as she picked up the bag. Willow watched as Buffy left the room, leaving the door open behind her. As she turned the corner, the redheaded witch saw two little marks on her friends' throat. Crying out in horror, she picked up the phone and began to dial. As Willow listened to the phone ring, she picked up Mr. Gordo and clutched him to her chest. *** the world is a vampire, sent to drain secret destroyers "Hey Slayer," Spike said with a bloody grin as he looked up from the throat of a middle aged man. He dropped the lifeless body on the floor before him, "I was just greeting our newest case." "What was his problem? He wasn't dead enough?" Buffy asked with a gleeful laugh. "Whatever it was," Spike answered as he threw the body down the basement stairs, "Case is closed now." "Guess so," she said. She had managed to occupy herself for most of the morning and now it was past noon. She felt a rumble in her belly as her breakfast began to wear off, "I'm hungry. You guys keep food here?" "No," Spike said, moving closer to her, "But you can nibble on me for awhile." "Trying to get back at Angel?" she asked as he wrapped his arms around her and slid a hand over her leather clad ass. "He's pissed that you didn't come back soon enough," Spike explained, "He's up there fucking Dru as we speak. Know what would really hack him off?" "I have a guess," she answered, "or two. But maybe I should slay your bitch instead." "Ah," Spike said, "Can't let you kill my mate, pet." "She's touching what's mine," Buffy answered simply, but not moving away as Spike's cold hand slithered under her shirt and palmed her bare breast. "So touch what's hers," Spike growled pressing his hips against hers. Three seconds into his attempted seduction of The Slayer, he found himself on the floor with his Sire's bare foot pressed against the side of his face. Angelus was still wet from his shower and had donned his leather pants before running down the stairs. His bare chest was covered with little beads of water that made Buffy want to lick him like a popsicle. Instead, she hopped up on the counter and crossed her legs to watch the show with mild amusement. "Next time you touch my mate," Angelus growled, bending over to pick him up and giving Buffy a delightful view of his ass in the tight leather as he did, "I'll stake you and ask questions later. Understand?"

"You were fucking Dru," Spike answered and receiving his Sire's fist as an answer. "And I'll continue to fuck Dru whenever I damn well please," he answered, tossing his Childe away. "Don't think so, lover," Buffy answered, hopping down from the counter and leaning against it, enjoying the dark eyes that swept her body, "You fuck her again and you lose me. I don't care for the sloppy seconds of some demon whore. She touches you again and I'll stake her. Then I might just stake you." "I like it when you're jealous, baby," he answered, grinning with an evil twinkle in his eyes. "You won't if it happens again." *** with a sound your world be shattered "Why am I here exactly?" Cordelia demanded, looking around the room with a pointed glare. Despite her irritation at having her Saturday night date with Xander interrupted, even the most selfish of people could feel the tension in the room. "There seems to be a problem," Giles said, "With Buffy." "Well that's a huge surprise," Cordelia snipped as she settled down on the couch next to Xander, "If it isn't the end of the world, then I'm bailing." "Honey," Xander whined, placing a hand on her thigh to still her. She shot him a dirty look but remained silent, waiting for the newest bomb to drop. Apparently, no matter where they lived, there was always a bomb in mid drop. "It very well might be," Giles replied, "Go ahead Willow." Willow took a deep, shaky breath and began,"Well, she came home this morning-" "She spent the night at the hotel with Angel," Giles explained, wishing that he had done something else last night when Angel came to his door. He thought that Buffy would be safe with him. He was a fool to trust a vampire, even for a second. "You let her go stay with Dead Boy and his Brady Bunch of blood suckers?" Xander shouted. "Let' isn't the word I'd use," Giles said angrily, "I was simply informed." "Anyway," Willow said, breaking in, "She came home this morning and was all weird." "Weird how?" Xander asked, feeling that familiar dread rising up in him. He loved these meetings so much more when they included Buffy, instead of talking about Buffy. When something was wrong with The Slayer, the whole picture went terribly askew and usually ended up with the bad and then more of the bad. "She said she was moving out and dropping out of school and...she was mean," Willow answered, tears filling her eyes as the memory came back of Buffy leaving her without any explanation of anything. Even if there was an apocalypse, Buffy always took the time to apologize for running out. And even when she had been mean to everyone all those years ago, she hadn't been mean to Willow.

"And?" Cordelia asked, "So what? Maybe she doesn't like college. It's just like Buffy to quit after the first week." "And she had two tiny, tiny holes in her neck," Willow answered, her face covered with concern which was suddenly mirrored by the entire room. Oz took her hand and squeezed in with reassurance, but as sweet as the gesture was, there would be no comfort until they knew what happened. "I'm going to the hotel to find out what I can," Giles said, standing up and gathering weapons. He only prayed that this was all blown out of proportion. After all, she was walking in the day, so she wasn't a vampire. That was one small blessing. Perhaps she was just protecting them all. The Watcher knew, even as he tried to convince himself, that Buffy would never take on all the danger herself without warning anyone. She might tell them to stay out of it, but she never kept things from them. Not unless something was very wrong with her. "I'm going with you," Willow and Xander said at once. *** the dye is cast, and the bitch is back and we're all dead, yeah we're all dead The Wolfram & Hart team was prepared for the entrance of a vampire at any time. They were especially prepared for the attack of the recently desouled vampires on the building. What they weren't prepared for was three vampires and one Slayer. They didn't expect the power to go out in the high rise building, shutting down most of the building's defenses. Their backup generators were destroyed after several seconds by the one member of the group who had been able to breach the building without detection. Buffy joined Angel, Spike and Dru on the 34th floor after smashing the generators and they walked down the hall in long strides together. Four sets of feet hit the floor in unison, pounding their way to the corner office where Lindsey was shouting orders and searching for a weapon. Lilah dialed her cell phone hurriedly, barking orders at the guards and demanding that they come to the office to protect them. When the door opened, they froze. "Lindsey! Hey buddy," Angelus said as he strolled into the room with Buffy on his arm, "Are we late for our appointment?" "I didn't call you," Lindsey said, "But since you're here, feel free to have a seat." "Oh, I think you did," the dark vampire answered, allowing his eyes to glow in the dark room. Spike and Drusilla closed the door behind them and plopped down on the leather sofa in the corner as if they were actually on an office visit. "What are you doing here?" Lilah asked, recognizing the Slayer in the dim light streaming in from the window, "And where's Penn?" "Penn took a little visit to the wood shop," Buffy answered, "I came in his place. Didn't think you'd mind." "Four souls," Lindsey murmured, staring slack jawed at The Slayer. "Yeah, good job," Angelus answered, "She's much better than my wayward Childe." "B-but it isn't possible for a human-" Lilah stuttered. "Obviously it is," Angelus said, taking a big whiff of his lover, "Can't smell a soul anywhere on her. Damn, that smells good. Thought I'd drop in to thank you and to warn you."

"Warn us?" Lindsey asked as the guards began pounding on the door, "Maybe I should warn you. Those guards are equipped to kill all four of you." Angelus broke out in a mad laughter, shortly joined by Spike and Dru, "You really think your weakling human guards can take out three master vampires and a Slayer? That's great. Really. In fact-" Angelus turned and opened the door, with a flourish of his hand, inviting the eight guards in. Spike and Drusilla rose lazily from the couch before each dove to the nearest throat. Angelus knocked away their stake-billy clubs and broke two necks, before drinking a third. Lilah and Lindsey watched with icy fear as they saw something that no one ever got to see - a Slayer murdering human beings. She snapped their necks as efficiently as Angelus had, dropping three bodies at her feet. "See?" Angelus said, looking around the room, settling into the chair opposite the desk and propping his feet up, "You really need to train better." "And step up your piss tests," Spike added, nodding at the corpse nearest him, "That one was a junky. Tsk, tsk. Guess it's hard to get good help these days. Right, Lilah?" "Don't worry," Buffy said, curling into Angelus' lap, "We're not going to kill you, even though I wouldn't mind...if you forced us." "Have a seat," Angelus said to the two lawyers as he ran his hand up and down Buffy's thigh, "We just want to give you a heads up on the plan." "The plan?" Lindsey asked, eyes sparkling with the possibilities, "Can't wait to hear it." "You butt out of our lives and we allow you to continue your evil...whatever the hell it is you do." "That's it?" "We don't mind the evil," Buffy said, tracing Angelus' face with her fingertip. She bit his lower lip as his hands began to wander. She stood and circled the desk, perching on it in front of Lindsey. Hunkering down, she set her feet on the arms of his chair and propelled him forward until his face was almost even with hers. "You stay in your evil little office and leave us alone. If you don't, you die. It's simple, really." "Anything else?" Lindsey asked, clearing his throat and trying not to look at the cleavage nearly pouring from the enticing Slayer's top. "Yeah," Angelus answered, "We have a little message for the Senior Partners." Spike was suddenly at Lilah's throat, crossing the room with vampiric speed. He bit in and drank, still feeling the residual anger he felt for her when he still had a soul. He wanted to kill her so badly before and now he gloried in the taste of her blood. Drusilla clapped her hands happily as Spike killed the "bad lawyer" and Lindsey felt like clapping his hands along with her. Spike wiped his mouth and released a satisfied "ahh" as she fell lifeless to the floor. "That's the message," Angelus said, holding his hand out to his mate, "Got it?" "I think that's clear enough." ***

she was dull razors and i said, i wanna fill you up, i wanna break you Gunn was making his regular early evening patrol by himself as he usually did. He loved the streets when night first came and liked some time to clear his mind from being with his gang for most of the day. He loved being top dog but he needed time to himself. And of course, there was the rush that came when he was able to make a couple of kills on his own. Made him feel taller and tougher, more invincible, even though he knew with his lifestyle, his days were numbered. So be it, he thought. He wanted to go out with a bang and take as many demon fiends with him as he could. He thought about how Angel was acting the night before. Not that he thought vampires were asexual or anything, but he never thought a vampire would fall in love with a vampire Slayer. He didn't know how most Slayers looked, but he understood with that one. Girl was fine as hell. He heard a ruckus in an abandoned building down the street, so he fell into a silent jog as he went to check it out. He crept inside, straining to hear the voices inside, but couldn't make them out. As he neared, he peeked around the corner to see none other than the two warriors he had been thinking about. Way to go, Angel, he thought as he watched the vampire screwing The Slayer against the concrete wall. He had a perfect side profile of the mating couple and as he watched them, he almost winced from the force of the union. It was a good thing she had super strength, because a regular girl would have broken bones by now. He told himself to turn away but watched a few minutes more as Angel bent down and sucked one of her admittedly remarkable nipples into his mouth. She arched against him, thrashing between the vampire and the wall as she came. The mask of delirium on her face was enough for Gunn to harden at the sight. He began to move away, feeling guilty for watching, even though they were in a less than private place, but paused when he saw Angel's face to lapse to the demon. He had to remind himself that she was The Slayer and could protect herself. The knowledge was the only thing keeping him from rushing in and staking his friend. Angel growled loudly and Gunn tightened his grip on his stake, waiting. He knew that Angel was a good guy but as he watched, his faith was slowly dwindling. Buffy looked into Angel's golden eyes and grabbed a handful of his hair, holding him back from her throat. He growled again, thrusting harder inside her. Finally, she pressed his face against her throat and he bit in. The sound of his feed could be heard across the room and Gunn waited. Angelus climaxed and pulled away from her tempting neck, knowing that he couldn't turn her until he wanted him too. And he couldn't wait for her to want it. "There's nothing like sex when you don't have a soul," Angelus said as he dressed alongside his lover. "Mmmm, I agree," she said, allowing herself to be pulled back into his arms. He kissed her for a few moments before releasing her and finished getting dressed. "I think I could stand to do that for eternity," Angelus said, looking over at her to make sure he had gotten his point across. "Patience, lover," she answered. *** soul power got to have it - soul power give it to me - soul power how you need it

The hotel was barren and the only sounds were their whispers as they looked around. The trip was fairly anticlimactic for the Scoobies as they proceeded to search the bottom floor and part of the second floor before giving up. They shuffled along, arguing quietly about where to look next when Oz suggested The Velvet Dog. If they were in Sunnydale, they would check The Bronze next. It only made sense to check the club where Buffy had first spotted Angel. As they made their way in that direction, they saw a figure running toward them in the night. They continued forward but were all tensed for an attack. Willow recognized Gunn as he came closer and called out his name. "He has a gun?" Xander whispered. "No, silly," Willow said, picking up the pace to meet him, "His name is Gunn." "Oh." "There's a huge problem, Willow," Gunn said, "Have you seen Buffy and Angel lately?" "Just Buffy," Willow answered, "And she's acting strange." "All I know is I was making my rounds and saw them in an abandoned building. Angel said he didn't have a soul and the way it sounded...it sounded like maybe Buffy didn't have one either." "Dear Lord," Giles said. He turned and ran back towards his flat to start the research. He had to find out how to restore a human soul - if there was ever a precedent of such a thing occurring. The rest of the group, along with Gunn, followed the frightened Watcher home. *** Part Six - "Home Again" RATING: NC-17 ***SMUT, SMUT, oh and SMUT*** WARNING: DARK - Character Death Tango's feeling a little naughty, so the young and impressionable should look the other way... *** faith lies in the ways of sin "We need to talk," Buffy said, standing in the doorway of Dru and Spike's bedroom. The boys were out hunting and Drusilla's visions had kept her in tonight. Spike had promised to bring her something young and tasty, but with The Slayer standing in her doorway, she suddenly knew what she would prefer. Drusilla's only acknowledgment of Buffy's presence was the hungry look from one woman to another, both lusting after the same vampire. "You have a very naughty habit of climbing in Angelus' bed," Buffy said, strolling in and sitting gently on the bed next to the dark Childe of her lover. "Daddy...tastes so good," Dru moaned, looking off across the room as if she could see him there, "Feels so good." "Yeah," Buffy nodded in agreement, "He does and the only one who's going to know that for now on is me."

"Mmmm...little Slayer doesn't like to share," Drusilla whispered with a sweet, honey smile. She licked her red lips and focused on the blonde in front of her, "He likes me to please him. He craves kindred, not sickening humans, like you." Buffy paused for a moment before reaching out and wrapping her fingers around Dru's narrow throat. Knowing that cutting off air didn't matter, she dug her nails in and tightened her grip until she felt the bones bending beneath her fingers, "He's mine. Touch him again and I'll..." "Kill me?" Drusilla choked out, managing to laugh silently at the thought. "No," Buffy answered, pushing her violently away, "I'll get him to kill you. Won't that be sweet? Your Sire destroying you...for The Slayer?" "My Angel would never kill me," Dru replied confidently. "Wanna bet?" Buffy asked in a frozen voice that cracked the vampiress' confidence, "What do you think he'd do for me, you crazy bitch? You think he'd kill to keep me?" "He'll kill you too," Dru said proudly, her eyes clear of madness for the first time since Buffy had met her. "Yes," Buffy said, standing with a dreamy smile on her face, "But only when I want him to." *** when you decide that your life is a prize renew and revive it's alright honey, it's alright, yeah happiness will make you wonder "Did you see anything else that would help our research?" Giles asked Gunn when they all made it back to his house. He was already pulling books off of the shelves and handing them out like party favors. "Except that they were screwing like banshees?" Gunn asked with a raised eyebrow, "No, just that he fed off her." "Was she...was she...I don't supposed you know if..." Giles said, trying to find the words to explain the horrifying possibility that a Slayer had been turned. Angelus was the most sadistic bastard to ever live but with a vampiric Slayer by his side, there was no stopping them. "She's still human," Gunn answered and listened to the sighs of relief that were blown out of lungs all over the room. "We need to restore her soul," Giles said, pushing a book into Gunn's hands, who looked down at it in confusion. He was a warrior, not a bookworm. He would much rather dust the vamps and read about it later. "How?" Xander said, pacing around the room, gripping an ancient text in one hand as he did, "What possible way is there to do it? What if she's evil forever? What if we lost her?" "Chill man," Gunn said, tossing his book on the couch and plopping down next to it, "If they lost their souls, there's gotta be a way to get them back. If not, we'll just kill em."

His flippant response earned him multiple scowls. Obviously not a part of the Scooby mindset, Gunn shrugged at them. If they had to be killed, they would be. He liked Angel and Buffy, but he liked living more. "Willow," Giles said, picking up The Codex and turning to his most trusted research aide, "I need you to look in the-" Giles stopped speaking abruptly and looked at the little witch strangely as she stood rigidly still in the center of the room. She reached out her hand and mumbling an unintelligible string of phrases in a language that even Rupert Giles did not recognize, the room began to hum and the lights flickered. Suddenly, the pages of The Codex began flipping and when the pages stopped turning, the nervous Watcher looked down at the text in front of him. "Oh dear," he muttered as his eyes jumped rapidly over the words printed there in harsh type. He blinked as the words began to blur and their meanings became confused. It simply could not be. "I hate it when you say that," Xander said. "What do you see?" Cordelia asked, "What is it?" "Giles," Willow gasped, breathing heavily and ignoring the look of concern on her boyfriend's face. Oz didn't know how advanced her Wiccan extracurricular activities had become. No one knew until then, "Did it work? Is that what we were looking for?" "What we were looking for?" Giles asked absently before looking around the room warily, "No, Willow. I was not looking for this. Not this." *** who wants honey "This is lovely," Buffy said as Angelus escorted her around the mansion in Sunnydale that he had "acquired." Two hours traveling time, one day spent relentlessly fucking his mate, one night seeking out the perfect place to live and negotiating new ownership - or actually, scaring the shit out of the real owner, forcing him to sign over the deed and then eating him - had been well worth it to see his lover's approval of their new home. "I'm glad you like it," he said, running his fingers over the back of the couch, one of the many furnishings he had been able to have delivered after taking over the dead man's estate. "But why are we back here?" Buffy complained, "What's the deal about the Hellmouth to you vampires anyway?" "The Annual Meeting," Angelus' answered smoothly. "The what? Vampire family reunion?" "Mmmhmmm," Angelus answered, wrapping his arms around her narrow waist from behind and whispering in her ear, "Pretty much. It moves around and is always in a different place, but every hundred years, it comes to the Hellmouth. It's a party, baby, that you're not going to want to miss."

"Don't cha think it's kinda stupid to bring a Slayer?" Buffy asked as she felt one of his large hands slip down the front of her jeans. She parted her legs slightly and moaned, half in pleasure and half in pain as his fingers explored her sore pussy. A week ago she was an innocent virgin and a good girl in every sense and now she had fucked Angelus so many times that she was surprised she was still able to walk. He was relentless in his want of her and she quickly found that she couldn't resist him. "I don't want to bring a Slayer," he said, biting her neck with his blunt teeth, nearly breaking her skin, "I want to bring my real mate, my true consort." She pulled his hand away from her and stumbled away, "Why would I die for you? Should I give up sunlight for you?" "Immortality and me," he said, pulling his shirt off and tossing it on the floor. Her eyes raked over his muscular chest and he inhaled her increasing arousal with a smile. He sat on the couch and slid down to a slouch. Slowly, he unbuttoned his leather pants, lowered the zipper. She licked her lips as she stared at the engorged head of his erect cock, glistening with his excitement. He smiled coldly at her as he said, "Breathing, sunlight - overrated, lover. Imagine what we could have if we had eternity together." "Eternity?" she echoed, trying to keep her eyes focused on his eyes and not his lap. "Forever," he answered huskily, "As true mates." Buffy stood in the center of the large room, trying to find a reason to deny him but could find none. Daylight was a small price to pay to spend forever in his arms. "Strip," he commanded, eyeing her body with starving eyes. She looked back at him and tried to gather anger but found desire instead. Her panties were soaked and her thighs were already trembling in anticipation of his touch. When she hesitated for too long, he said, "Take off your clothes. Now." She obeyed, dropping each piece of clothing on the floor at her feet. "C'mere," he whispered, jogging his thick cock back and forth as he drank in the sight of her flushed body and the obvious wetness at the apex of her thighs. She moved slowly, prolonging his want of her even though she was also slowing the expected pleasure for herself. His tongue moved over his lips as he watched her. She settled onto the couch next to him and he merely glanced over at her without touching her at all. Instead, he continued to please himself while she watched, releasing short gasps of air through parted lips. "I want to feel your sucking mouth," he said, pulling her hand to his lap, "I want to watch you taste me." Her mouth was an inferno of lust when she took him in, tentatively at first, then more enthusiastically as he groaned his approval. He moved his hand over her back as her tongue swirled around the tip before she plunged down, taking as much of him in as she could. He took a moment to squeeze her ass before slipping his hand around and pushing two fingers inside her. She moaned with him inside her mouth, causing a shudder to run through his body and his fingers to plunge deeper. "Harder," he growled, as he smoothed over her swollen nub. He smiled down at her as she spread her legs further apart for him and increased her suction, bobbing her beautiful blonde head faster in his lap. Accepting more of him with each turn, she responded to his groans and the feel of his fingers thrusting inside her. Finally, he came and he was lavished with pleasure as she swallowed his cold seed.

"Jesus Fucking Christ, baby," he swore as she moved up, leaving warm kisses on his stomach and over his chest. The difference in their temperatures was so severe, Angelus began to wonder if a storm cloud would form between their lustful bodies. He hardened again as she made her way up to his neck and nibbled on his throat. He moved his hands over her as she tossed one leg over him, straddling his lap. He waited for her to guide him inside her but she didn't. She kissed him passionately, scraping her nails over his scalp and pressed her chest against his, relishing in the feel of his cold skin. "Need to be inside you," he growled, eyes flashing golden. Her teasing heat hovered over him, pulsating in desire but not making contact. Finally, after long torturous moments, she guided him into her but only allowed the first couple of inches access and held him down against the couch, eyes demanding that she was in control this time. He growled in protest but didn't speak as she clamped her inner muscles around him. She took in inch by beguiling inch in aching slowness until the demon below her was shaking in pleasure, want and fury. "Feel the heat?" she whispered, seating him fully inside her and pulling his hands over her breasts. "Yes," he hissed, trying to thrust up against her but finding that his Slayer held him fast. "Becoming a vampire means losing the heat...forever," she said against his lips, "Are you willing to give that up?" "I'm not willing to give you up," he answered, "Not ever. For anything." "You can't have me, Angel," she whispered, pulling away from his lips and looking into eyes that turned fully golden at her words. The leer on her elegant face was calculating and macabre. "Why the hell not?" he growled. "Because, baby," she said, "You didn't say please.'" With a roar, he lurched off the couch, clamping his hands over her firm ass to keep himself seated inside her. He crashed to the floor, slamming his hips against hers as they landed. As he moved inside her with feral strokes, he gripped a handful of silky blonde hair, pulled her head to the side and tore into her delicate throat. *** shut my mouth and strike the demons that cursed you Giles had felt sorrow, had known fear and failure but the words that leapt up at him from The Codex forced a feeling inside him like he had never known. It was pure, unmatched dread. All his fears, every single nightmare, every cause for alarm in his life became text on a page and then personified itself, dancing before his blurring eyes. "Not my Slayer," he mumbled, swallowing a sob of despair as he lowered his body into the chair at his desk and held his head in his hands, staring at the page. Being around the children all the time had differing effects on him. Sometimes they made him feel youthful and energetic and some days, he felt old and weary. Tonight he felt ancient and undeserving of the years life had allowed him. "What?" Xander asked, walking over to the Watcher, "What is it?"

No answer came, only mumblings of something that could only be described as hopelessness. "Giles?" Willow asked, tightening her hold on Oz's hand. "I can't take this," Cordy announced and walked over to the desk. She pulled the book from under Giles' stare and held it up, reading aloud, "The Chosen One of the greatest power of her line will relent to the darkness, passing over to the demonic realm. She will give herself freely, embracing the underworld and ruling it." "That's not true!" Willow screamed. The power of her voice alone, forced the dark haired cheerleader back several paces and the book tumbled from her hands. Xander dove for it, flipping through the pages anxiously. "What page?" he demanded, looking from Cordy to Willow to Giles and back again, "What God DAMN page?" "The Chosen One," Gunn said, "Buffy?" "Not Buffy!" Xander said, tearing priceless pages as he tore through the book looking for those little sentences that would rip apart the world. "We have to stop it," Willow said, walking over and tugging at Giles' arm. "It's too late," Giles' said, "It can't be stopped." "What do you mean?" Xander said, throwing the book back on the desk with disgust, "It's not Buffy. We were just on the wrong page." "I wish to God we were," Giles said, standing up and facing Xander angrily, "But this is The Codex and there's nothing in it that doesn't come to pass! Remember the Master? Remember Buffy's death? This is true! I would do anything to change it if I could but the prophecy is complete! I've lost her. My God...I've lost her." *** but when i woke up from that sleep i was happier than i'd ever been Spike strolled into the mansion's master bedroom to find Angelus sitting in a large black leather chair staring at the body of his lover lying naked and dead in his bed. Spike looked over her supple frame with a satisfied smile. "You turned her?" Spike asked, moving toward the bed. "Don't take a step closer," Angelus growled into the darkness, "Get out." "I wasn't going to touch your precious little mate," Spike said, stopping three feet from the bed, keeping his back to his Sire as he admired her. "It's a good damn thing," Angelus said, "Now leave." Spike sniffed the air and turned to face the elder vampire, "She's only just died. You have hours to go. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were worried she won't wake up. How unlike you, Angelus."

"Is it more like me if I deprive you of your life as well?" Angelus said as he sprung on his Childe, tossing him out of the bedroom. He followed Spike's tumbling body into the next room and caught up with him, kicking him in the side. "What the bloody hell are you tripping on? The bint's going to wake up!" "Don't misunderstand, Spike. This isn't about Buffy," Angelus growled, "Things are going to be as they were." "As they were?" Spike asked, hoping that the sentence didn't mean what he thought it meant, but as his Sire's knee cracked into his mouth, he understood. "Yes," Angelus answered. He felt the rush of Slayer's blood in his veins and displeasure at the spiritual reduction he felt from her parting . It brought about more than just anger and irritation but severe derangement, a disease seeping into his mind. If she didn't wake up soon, he wasn't sure he would be able to stop himself from killing anything that wandered in the vicinity. Not that it mattered to him if he did. He heard heels clicking on the marble floor and looked up as Drusilla entered. She sensed violence bleeding off him, filling every corner of the room. She didn't take another step into the room but stood there trembling. Until this moment, Angelus had been preoccupied with The Slayer. Now that her body lay cooling a room away, he lost all ability to keep up the kindness he had treated his children with before. "Come in, Dru," Angelus said, smiling at her, "We're only just beginning." "Sire," she said, her fear betrayed in her wobbling voice. "That's right, baby," he growled, "Time to remind you." "Sire," Spike said, gripping the couch as he pulled himself to his feet, "I remember. We'll follow you." "I know you will, Spikey," Angelus said, "Come here, Drusilla." "Angel," Spike spat, "Leave her out of this!" Angelus flew toward her and pulled her further into the room over Spike's scream of protest. The master vampire bit into his Childe's throat, tasting her blood as one large hand spanned her abdomen. Spike cried out for him to stop as he guzzled her blood. He stopped short of draining her and let go, watching with evil pleasure as she toppled to the floor, weakened and whimpering. Angelus caught Spike, expecting his attack and slammed his fist into his Grande Childe's face. He pulled in the angry, blonde vamp as well and performed the same cleansing ritual, dropping Spike's body near Dru's. Crouching over Spike, he whispered, "You know what the best part of all this is, Spike?" "Bastard," Spike growled weakly as he pulled his mate to his side, trying to move away from his Sire. "Do you smell the arousal all over her?" Angelus said, laughing, "I can have her anytime I want and there's nothing you can do about it. If I want her on her hands and knees and offering her sweet cunt to me, she will. If I want to kill her, she'll give me her life. She belongs to me. And so do you." "Who do I belong to?"

Angelus whipped around to face the much paler, undead version of his mate leaning at the doorway. She looked more haunted, harder somehow. The stillness of the body that usually breathed life now radiated a different sort of sheen. She was just as enticing but her power was stronger, darker and far more irresistible. The feeling of her that had been lost with her death increased exponentially when she rose. "Buffy," Spike gasped from the floor, "You have hours before you rise...hours left." "Never underestimate a Slayer, Spike," Buffy said, sauntering into the room with no timidness about her nudity, "Haven't you learned that by now?" She turned her eyes on her lover, her eternal mate and frowned at him, "Angelus, you were supposed to be by my side when I rose. You were out here playing with the children instead of watching over me?" *** living makes me sick so sick i wish i'd die down in the belly of the beast A week had passed and the Scoobies knew that Buffy was missing, as were the three vampires who had lost their souls. Giles had not slept in those seven days but spent all of his time flipping through books, looking for a loophole or some way to save his Slayer. Willow became his constant companion, occasionally falling asleep on the books as she too searched for a way to save her friend. Her classes had fallen to the wayside and the rest of the group took turns helping out. Each day it seemed more useless and more apparent that their Buffy was never coming back. Giles was dozing over The Codex, having returned to it to find some glimpse into what was to be. Willow and Oz were curled up on the couch together, entangled in each other. They all jerked awake as the phone rang and Giles turned slowly to look at it. He stood wearily and crossed the room. "Hello?" "Hello Rupert," a curt British voice replied. "Quintin," Giles responded, realizing that he had not informed the Council and in the same breath he understood that Buffy was dead. "Your Slayer has died," Quintin Travers said, making it known that the Council was abreast of the situation. The silence on the other end of the line prodded the Council member to continue, "As she has died once before, another has not been called in her stead. You are relieved of your duties as Watcher." "I can save her," Giles answered in a panic. "It's too late," he replied, "You've failed the Council. Your Slayer is the first to willingly be turned. You are a disgrace." Giles listened as the line went dead and kept the receiver to his ear until the phone made an annoying off the hook sound. He finally hung up, knowing the truth he had feared every second of the last seven days. He looked at Willow and Oz for a second before the knob of his front door turned. The door swung open as if it hadn't been locked and a short man strolled inside. "You guys really fucked this up," he said with a lopsided smile, "But luckily, you have me."

"And who are you?" Giles demanded, preparing to dash for a weapon if need be. "Whistler," he answered, tipping his hat, "At your service."

*** hungry, hungry again. hungry, hungry again. when will it start to sway? Angelus was in a whirlwind, finally seeing how the new vampiric traits would have on his mate. She was starving, as all fledglings were, and she lacked the artistic flair Angelus had always been prone to. He liked to tease, feel their fear forming before he took their lives. Buffy was not interested in the details. She enjoyed the element of surprise and as the shock was still making its way to their brain, she drank it down. She was finding the whole experience exhilarating and Angelus thought watching it wasn't so bad either. She was beautiful with deadly fangs appearing under her red lips and that cold hunger that crossed her face made her all the more desirable in his eyes. Her new demonic countenance with the hard ridges on her brow did not take from her beauty but added to it. She was a cruel delight and Angelus was dying to take a sip of it. He had seen many vampires have a bit of difficulty handling the new senses and new strength that came in the package, but his mate had no problem adjusting. Being a Slayer to begin with, she was used to power and strength. Adding to that power did nothing to hinder the former Slayer. He leaned back against a brick wall in a side alley where she took her third victim for the evening. It didn't seem like her hunger was dwindling. The woman who used every bit of energy to save the world, now was a vampiress who was using the same inexhaustible drive to destroy it. She wanted to taste them all and commented to her lover on the differences in them with amusement, as if she had expected them all to taste the same. "How was that one?" Angelus asked. His patience for her exploration had been phenomenal up until now, but it was quickly waning. He wanted to taste her new blood and more than anything, he wanted to try out the new cold body she was moving around in. With her human heat gone, the sensation would be similar to his experiences with other female vampires, but he knew that it would be more pleasurable with Buffy, as was everything else. "Third in three," she muttered, "He tasted like shit. I need something more...innocent." "Yes," Angelus said, smiling broadly. She had quickly understood the concept of purity and he was proud of the mind blowing speed of her acclimation, "They're always delicious, but unfortunately, we have a date." "What?" Buffy asked, turning to him. "Remember the Annual Meeting?" "Oh yeah," Buffy sighed in disappointment, "What's the big deal? I know you're not interested in whatever the hell those fools are going to be talking about, so I say we skip it. Especially if you are just planning on going so you can show me off. I want to feed, Angel, not be a party favor." "As party favors go," Angelus growled, "You'll be the best, but I think you'll enjoy the party. And of course, I'm not going to participate in their plans." "Then why go?" she demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

"If a master vampire is not present to get things in order," Angelus said darkly, "The children get confused on who's in charge. We've been gone too long to miss this one. They need to know that we're back." "Oh," Buffy replied, nodding her blonde head, "Power trip, huh?" "You'll love it," Angelus said confidently, "Trust me. There's nothing better than fear, unless that fear is from a vampire. Then it's delicious." *** what a waste what it is, it never was. i don't care or give a fuck "Whistler?" Giles echoed, looking over the short and confounding intruder, "Is there a reason you are in my home?" "I've been here before," Whistler said, strolling inside and plopping down in an overstuffed chair, "Course you weren't here..." "Who the hell are you?" Xander asked rudely as he walked in. It was almost as if having Cordelia on his arm gave him licence to be abrupt. Whistler, however, ignored him and continued speaking, "...I think you were being tortured at the time...Wait, that was in another dimension. And another house. Forget I said that part. Sorry folks, it gets confusing sometimes. Anyway, I already told you. I'm here to help you clear up the fuck up." Giles was trapped inside the emotions inside him. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to drop to his knees and beg any higher power to turn back time. He wanted a choice. His mind screamed for a chance to rectify what had happened. The odd looking man who had walked through his door and immediately started speaking in strange riddles was a source of light. A dim light, but a light nonetheless. The Watcher wanted to believe him. "Are you going to make sense anytime soon?" Cordelia asked, wrinkling her nose at his choice of wardrobe. Someone had seriously misinformed him on what was cool. "I'm a demon," Whistler said, "But a good one. Not all demons are bad, you know. I've been sent by The Powers That Be." "The Powers That Be what?" Xander demanded. It had been over a week since they had seen Buffy or Angel or any of his crew. The days that passed had been painfully silent and he knew, as did the rest of the group, that silence was never good. It was bad. Very, very bad. When the strongest Slayer turned into a vampire and then seemed to drop off the face of the earth, the people waiting for the other shoe to drop began to tremble in fear. Xander had begun trembling a long time before and how was in a full blown shudder. His friend was dead and if he was right, soon everyone else would be too. "The Powers That Be," Whistler repeated, waving his hand in the air dramatically, "You know, the big cheeses who try to control things from time to time." "Did they control this?" Giles shouted, holding The Codex up, "Did they want this to happen?" "Actually no," Whistler answered, inspecting his fingernails as he spoke, "The book's altered. None of this shit was supposed to happen. Angelus wasn't supposed to reemerge and The Slayer was never supposed to be a vamp. She's one evil bitch, by the way, take my word for it." "How is the book altered?" Giles demanded, "I've had it in my possession for years."

"Magick, Rupert," Whistler said, frowning in disappointment at him, "Ya know, for a Watcher you can be pretty thick sometimes. It was altered by magick. What? Did you think someone came in with some white out and typewriter? Geez." "Get to the point!" Cordelia shouted. "Amen! Get on with it already," Xander added angrily, glancing over at Willow and Oz to check their responses. Oz had his customary non-reaction but Willow was boiling. Magick was flowing unevenly through her body, forcing the normal range of her thoughts to travel outside the boundaries of her. Willow Rosenberg was not an angry person. She was kind and good. Tonight, she was as close to rage as she had ever been. She wanted answers and wanted them before the forces in her body reconvened in her brain. A tidal wave of goose bumps broke over her skin as she listened to the banter in the room. "Calm down, people!" Willow shouted, turning to the demon, and focusing cold green eyes on him, "Spill it." "Right, no need get upset," he said, feeling slightly intimidated by the witch. Any demon, or other creature for that matter, who had been involved with the Powers, knew what magick *felt* like in it's most raw, base form. It was detrimental to ones health to ignore the invisible essence of those around them. Whistler saw the power in the witch and what's more, her anger and frustration at the loss of her friend was just a speck short of poking holes into the aether. The slight girl was powerful and frightening. He took a deep breath and looked around the room, "We need to act fast before the results on The Slayer are irreversible." "Are you saying that being a vampire is something that can be reversed?" Giles demanded. "Not if you're going to think in human terms," Whistler said. "Do you get anymore confusing?" Xander asked, crossing his arms. "Yeah, actually," the demon answered with a smirk. *** i chased the charmed but i don't want them anymore. and in their eyes i was alive, a fool's disguise As they walked together down the streets of Sunnydale, Angelus couldn't stop looking at his creation. Her skin, previously golden and glowing, was now only slightly paler, smoothing over her body like liquid satin. Her hair had retained its brilliance as well, bouncing over her shoulders and down her back as she walked along beside him. She was perfect - his mate, consort, eternal companion - except that he couldn't believe she was taking him shopping. She tugged him along as she hurried up the street to a shop that was flipping off the neon sign above the door. Buffy made it to the shop just as the dark haired girl was flipping the "Closed" sign. The girl smiled at her and unlocked the door again, sticking her head out, "Buffy! You're back in town? I thought you moved to LA." "I did," Buffy answered, smiling kindly at the girl. She now recognized her as Teresa, the girl she had gym class with years ago, "But I'm visiting." "I'm sorry, the store is closed," Teresa said regretfully, "I'd let you in but I've already closed the register and my boss would kill me if he found out I let a friend in after close." "I understand," Buffy said, looking over her shoulder and nodding at Angleus who was sitting patiently on a bench, "but I have a problem. See my boyfriend over there?"

"Yes," Teresa said, inspecting the handsome vampire a little too closely for Buffy's taste. She realized that she could just break through the door and dig into the girl's throat but she wanted to savor this kill. The others had not been a sweet and pure as this one would be. She wanted to play a little first. "He's taking me to a party but I didn't know that when we came here. I don't have anything to wear and I can't not go, can I? Can't I just take a quick peek?" "Well..." "Please Teresa," Buffy pleaded, pretending to be her old sweet self, "With a honey like that I can't look bad. Please." "Okay," she said, reluctantly opening the door. Buffy walked in and looked at the rows of hanging clothes, eyeing them from just inside the entrance. "I was wondering," Buffy said, turning back to Teresa, "Which face to do you think I should wear?" "Face?" Teresa echoed with confusion. "Yes," Buffy said, reverting to her demon form. The scream that issued from the young girl was enough to make the vampiric Slayer give up the game. She bit in and swallowed, drinking her first taste of the innocent sort of blood she had been craving. And it was divine. *** i go along to be with you and those moonsongs that you sing Drusilla woke up first. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, wondering if she would be able to feel her legs soon. Since she had been turned, Angelus had fed off of her many times and had tortured her to the point of delirium, but he had never gone this far. Her thoughts floated in the memories of the pain he used to gift her and the pleasure that always came eventually. She was still waiting for that pleasure and the maddest part of her brain could not understand why it had not yet come. "Spike," Drusilla said, tracing a design on the floor with the blood that had leaked out of their bodies. She wasn't at all concerned whose blood it was. There really was no way to tell. She limply laid there, moving her fingers in the blood while she waited for her lover to answer her. "Yes, pet," he answered, sitting up slowly with a loud groan of aggravation and pain. His Sire had long been an object of hate, worship, lust and fear, but tonight he had treated them with a sort of disdain that he never had before. Now that his mate was at his side, Spike had no doubt that he would be a thousand times more ruthless than he had been before. After a hundred years of being plagued with a soul, after killing his Sire and previous mate and after falling in love with The Slayer, he was transformed into something more primed for evil than before. He needed the kill to make amends for the goodness that had tainted him for so long. Spike understood this because he felt the same way. He needed more than anything to wash the goodness, guilt and remorse from his system with violence and blood. He wanted to wash the streets in human parts, wanted to show the world that the Big Bad was back. If he could move, that is. After long moments passed, he stood slowly and looked down on the bloody mess that slightly resembled his mate. He had put up with Drusilla's torture for decades before their souls were returned. He would follow his Sire to the ends of the earth, but not at the cost of her.

"Daddy and The Slayer left us," she said as he pulled her into his arms, "They're going to the party without us." "No, ducks," he answered, rising to his feet with her in his arms. He stumbled across the room and out the door with her, wondering how far he would actually get when he was this weak, "We're going too. First we need to feed." "Yes," she said, lolling her head on his shoulder, "I'm empty inside. Even the stars aren't speaking to me." "They will soon," Spike answered, moving toward the more populated part of town, "They will soon." "Promise, Spike?" *** in a dream we are connected siamese twins at the wrist Buffy walked back out of the shop doors, having changed into new clothes, which she thought would be perfect for the Annual Meeting. She paused just outside the door and spun around slowly, showing off her new clothing. "I think we'll skip the Meeting," Angelus growled as he moved toward her. She was wearing a form fitting dress that hugged her slim body and left large places of perfect skin bare. He reached out to touch her and she slapped his hands away. "You have to wait," she said, "I have plans for later but only if you're patient." "You've got to be fucking kidding me," he growled, moving closer. Angelus was anything but patient now. He had long ago exhausted his meager supply. Trapped inside that soulful freak for over a hundred years, forced to love and give and help people and she expected him to be wait! It was one thing to watch her revel in her first kills and to watch her hunt in a new way, but being refused by her now? It was far beyond Angelus' threshold of tolerance. He knew as he looked into her cold eyes that he had made a mate in every sense, or perhaps the better word was "match." "Do I look like I'm kidding?" she said, slicing him with her glare. He glared back, facing off with his mate, waiting for her to give in and let him have even the tiniest taste of her, but she still denied him. Being forbidden by his consort was doing nothing for his mood and it was exactly what Buffy wanted. She wanted him to wonder what she felt like now that the heat was gone. She wanted him to have mouth-watering anticipation for what she was going to do to him later. Much, much later. She finally ended the staring contest and pressed her body against his, giving him a kiss, which he accepted, took advantage of and abused. She pulled away and gave him a warning look before leaning in again and whispering in his ear, "Trust me, lover. It will be worth the wait." He smiled as the understanding hit him. Being a master of torture for all those decades, it should have sunk in more quickly. There was nothing like building up the excitement and prolonging the pain. It made the final act so much more enjoyable. He offered his arm, accepting her terms with reluctance and they moved toward their next destination. *** we could all learn something from your mind

"Alright," Giles said, sinking back into his chair and eyeing the demon suspiciously, "If the book was altered, who altered it?" "Wolfram & Hart," he answered. Giles wanted to shout for semi-joy that he had gotten a straight answered and then sighed as Whistler continued, "Well actually, not Wolfram & Hart. They hired a slew of mojo makers to change all the prophecies on the Slayer and the vampires with souls. They've abused the realms of magic and twisted the course of history. Not an easy task but hey, they're evil, so kudos with that success." "Our friend is dead," Xander snapped, "And killing lots more people, I'm sure, and you're giving them kudos?" "Just for a job well done," Whistler answered, shrugging, "Anyway, with these new developments, it changes everything." "Well, duh," Cordelia added. "Could we get to the part where we save Buffy?" Willow asked, feeling her calm return. Oz gripped her hand and was already forming the conversation in his mind where he asked her when and how she had developed so much power. The werewolf was extremely worried about his girlfriend. When the wolf took over, he completely lost control of his body and mind. He was certain that a long road of magic would have much the same effect on his sweet Willow. "Yes," Giles added, "You said that there was a chance to...what did you say, exactly? Is it possible for her to be returned to her human form?" "That depends," Whistler answered, cryptically as usual. "On what?" "On how fast we act." "God!" Cordelia shouted, "Just tell us!" "Okay, honey, no need to get upset. No one ever understands me. It's my curse," Whistler complained and under the weight of the glares in the room, he continued, "It's like levels, see? If certain steps are taken in a certain amount of time then she can be reverted to human again. If not, there's still a chance to restore her soul, along with her other toothy friends. It's a delicate process." "What needs to be done?" Giles said, standing up. "We need to go to the Hellmouth," the demon answered, standing up as well, "And now would be good." "Why am I *not* surprised?" Xander snorted, as he stood as well. *** Part Eight "The Linking" FEEDBACK: THANK YOU to everyone who has remembered this fic and asked me about it in the last month or so! I really appreciate your interest and support. I kept a list of the people who asked me about this one and "Slayers and Witches and Vampires, Oh My!" but I'm delighted to say that there were too many requests to list them here. For everyone who has

waited so patiently, this one's for you. I'll be working on finishing these two fics before I start anything new. (Or at least I'm really, really going to *try* to keep myself from starting anything new. *G*) Hope you all enjoyed Tango's little bout of AU fluffyness cause the bitch is back. *G* Prepare for a little darkness... LYRICS: All lyrics are from the Smashing Pumpkins. RATING: NC-17 *** sprinkle all my kisses on your head stars fill of wishes fill our beds In the alley behind The Bronze, two bloodied vampires, weakened by being drained and abused by their Sire, were picking off young partiers as they left the club. Spike was certain that Angelus had taken more blood from Drusilla because she was so weak she could barely stand. He caught them one by one, reaching out as they passed by and pulling them into the dark corner the two were hidden in. He alternated feeding himself off one and guiding the next bare throat to his mate's exposed fangs. "Picking flowers," Drusilla mused, lying back against The Bronze's outer wall, lolling her head back and forth, "So pretty." "They are that, pet," he said, crouching as he waited for another unsuspecting snack to wander past him. Dru was right. It was just like picking flowers and he plucked them indiscriminately. Their blood was needed to gather strength enough to even show their faces at the Annual Meeting. Spike began to wander, as he tore into his third innocent throat, if Angelus had planned this whole thing. Sure, he had lost half a sack before The Slayer rose, but perhaps he wanted to make sure that everyone knew who the true leader was. With Darla and the Master gone, Angelus was the highest bloody Poof on the totem pole and now that he had Slayer's blood running rampant in his veins, he could overpower anyone or anything. Spike shuddered when he thought of the domination and strength gushing off those two. They were provocative darkness, envy in a glance and as mates their power melted into one another, vanishing and becoming a new force. The Slayer's presence, even though she had been turned, still burned inside him when she was near. Her aura was a surprising caress turned into a brutal shove. Driven by the fear of what his Sire and mate were capable of doing, he grabbed a lush young couple pausing to kiss outside the club and handed the young man over to his mate. *** i've been sleeping helpless couldn't tell a soul, be ashamed of the mess you've made Whistler didn't explain anything. Instead he had them all pile in Oz's van and head to the Hellmouth. The entire ride was a succession of outbursts from everyone but Oz, who simply drove and listened. Occasionally, he looked over at Willow and took her trembling hand. Squeezing her palm against his, he gave her a silent reminder that he was there, that he loved her and that there was always a way out of this. Hadn't there always been before? But no one was really sure, except for Whistler who kept that half smirk on his face, musing over the humans and their inability to understand him. He was used to that kind of treatment,

which is why he usually avoided them. He had met so many people in different dimensions, reintroducing himself to ones who didn't know they'd met him before. He was often not surprised even when shocking things came from their mouths. Usually, they had already said it in a different space and time. Giles was the furthest from calm even though he looked the most serene. He sat in the back of the van flipping patiently through the texts he brought along, pretending to find an answer to their recent crisis. The truth was that he couldn't even read the words that were blurring before his eyes. He had no idea what to look for or how to keep up his charade of positivity. For the first time in a very long time, he had no idea how to proceed. His Slayer was lost, turned of her own free will. His breath caught in his throat every time he thought of his vibrant young charge succumbing to darkness. He felt like someone was cutting him open from the inside. A disease was forming inside his normally even keeled nature. Ripper was struggling to the surface, demanding vengeance for his loss. His lips curled into a scowl as he thought about that bloodsucking piece of shit taking the only piece of goodness and light to enter his dusty, dreary adult existence. Strange, the affinity he had with the vampire he now hated. They both spent years trying to atone for their sins, trying to bury their murky pasts as they strove for goodness. They both had a force inside them that craved violence and carnage. And they both loved Buffy Summers. Giles reached in his pocket, curling his fingers around Mr. Pointy, which he had retrieved from Buffy's weapons trunk in her dorm room. He said a silent prayer, asking for the strength to make this right. He didn't want to take Buffy's life - or unlife - didn't want to stake her, but his greatest fear was that he would have to...or that he would die trying. "Please explain again," Giles said, looking over the goofy little demon, "how we can stop Buffy from reaching a point to where there is no reversal? Do try to make sense." "No kidding," Xander chimed in, glancing out the rear window to see that Gunn's truck was still keeping up with the van, trailing closely. "Xander," Giles warned, before turning back to the demon, "Whistler?" "There's a series of rituals," Whistler began, struggling to make sense to the frightened humans, "The first will restore the four souls lost to the aether. If performed correctly, all four souls will return simultaneously." "Good," Giles nodded, following so far. "The second ritual is more tricky," Whistler said, quirking his mouth sadly with his words, "In order to ensure that this does not happen again, the Powers have devised a sort of linking. Basically, we turn Buffy back to her human form. If she has not taken too many lives, if we get there soon enough, the process can be reversed...we think." "You think?" Cordy gasped, "Do the Powers actually have any power?" "There's a natural order of things, Cordelia, that cannot be overcome despite our wishes," Giles explained curtly, much to the surprise of Whistler, "The Powers That Be can only control so much. This dimension's creatures, just as most of the others, are given free will and the greatest power cannot take it fully from them. Because of that there are events that cannot be overturned and people who cannot be saved." Giles ended his sentence quickly, choking on the last word. The children looked over him sadly. He was losing hope and fast. "We'll save her, Giles," Willow said softly from the front of the van, "There's still a chance."

"Course," Giles said, clearing his throat, and then turned back to Whistler, "What happens if we are unable to reverse these events?" "Well," Whistler said, removing his hat and fingering the brim, while he easily avoided actually answering the question, "Our success really depends on how much of her humanity we can restore." "Huh?" Xander grunted. "For every life she takes and every drop of blood she consumes, she moves further into her vampiric state. We may be able to bring her back, but we're not sure if she will ever be completely human again. We need a certain amount of humanity to remain to proceed with the linking." "Linking?" Willow asked. "Yeah," Whistler answered, "This is part I think you're gonna hate. We haveta make sure this never happens again. Too much is at stake if these particular vamps are allowed to remain souless and evil. If they aren't stopped, Buffy and Angelus will bring about the end of the world." "And the linking?" Giles said, steering him back to safer waters. "The linking is essentially a binding of souls," he said, "Spike and Drusilla are already bound to Angel with the original curse. The linking will connect Buffy to Angel, binding them to this plane. Their souls will never escape their bodies or this plane until they die." "What if one of them dies?" Giles asked, shifting uneasily. "They both die." *** all of your struggles beneath your disguise drink from the reasons that hold you alive til we're safe from the wounds of desire and pain Angelus felt the power that only came from large groups of vampires convening in one place. He craved it, the way it radiated from the masses and the knowledge that he would rule them all. As they strolled through the dark streets, he could smell their fear, anticipation, sex and blood. The fragrance of mates, covered in each other's scents, rolled over him. It rushed him from all sides as they move toward the Annual Meeting. Buffy walked next to him, smelling of residual humanity, of her intricate Slayerness. He shook his head in disbelief because she smelled like fucking sunshine. He didn't understand how even a new creature of the night could smell of goodness and light, but she did and it butted its head against her new darkness. He could smell himself on her as well, his seed inside her, his blood in her veins. As they neared their destination, a realization hit him so hard, he stopped suddenly and flung her down into the grass of the cemetery beside them. "You're so fucking smart," he growled, pressing her against the ground, keeping her pinned with his weight. He knew, however, that her superior strength as a Slayer had only increased with her turning. She could easily toss him away but she just laughed, her body heaving beneath his with her laughter. "Just figuring that out, Angel?" she said, still laughing.

"You were going to let me walk in there without marking you as my mate," he roared, "I can't believe I almost fell for that! Do you realize what being my consort means?" "Sure," she said, nodding while keeping her smile. "You are already my mate," he snarled, "Marked or not, you are mine." "I just wanted to see you squirm, lover," she purred, pressing against his arousal, "You're so sexy when you get all possessive. I just love it when you think you're in control. Too bad you figured it out. I would have loved to see you inside there strutting all superior only to realize that we hadn't been mated yet." Keeping his angry growl, he bit into her throat where her mark had been before she was turned. Drinking her new vampire blood, he felt the power of his mate's essence exploding inside him. He stopped drinking and gasped, staring at her golden eyes with his. "Good stuff, huh?" she whispered, licking her blood off of his lips. "You're so much stronger," he gasped, wondering if his heart was going to start to beat from energy in her, "Not like other vampires, more potent." She sank her fangs into his throat, tasting him and marking him as her mate just as he just had. She tasted her own blood in his and the excitement he was feeling. He fell back into the grass, rolling her on top of him as she suckled his neck. He stared up at the stars, watching them blur above him. He felt charged, pulsing with life and it didn't make sense. Her body was almost warm as she suckled at his neck, straddling him. He didn't even notice her unzipping his leather pants until he felt her strong little hand grip his erect cock. She guided him inside her, easing down on him. Perched there, she cocked her head to the side, looking down at him. "Miss the heat, lover?" she asked, clenching her inner muscles around him so tightly he actually groaned in pleasure and pain. He bucked up into her, grinning at her gasp of pleasure as he flipped them. He settled his weight on top of her and glided deeper inside her. Cold skin meshing with cold skin, their nearly fully clothed bodies joined for the first time as vampiric mates. "No. Small price to pay," he groaned in a long awaited answer. Lost in the feel of him, she had all but forgotten the question by the time he answered it. The mating was an entrance into a yet undiscovered euphoric magnitude. Lust rivaled lust, power grinding against power. They rolled with their lovemaking, shifting positions as they went, desire misplaced inside rasping laments that wandered off alone somewhere in the night. "You belong to me," he moaned into her neck as he licked her now closed wound, tempted to take another sip. He still felt drugged from his previous taste. "And you belong to me," she moaned back, "Only me." Moving in one fluid motion, they both bared their fangs. They lunged for each other's throats at the same time, hips slamming against each other. Rolling in the grass, battling for dominance, they came together. *** Part Nine "Linking Mates" RATING: NC-17

*** freak out and give in doesn't matter what you believe in stay cool "I hate this place," Xander said as he climbed out of Oz' van and took his first breath of Sunnydale air that wasn't shared with his friends, wedged next to an amplifier. He looked up at the night sky and sighed, "Glad I love you so much, Buff. My parents live here." "You won't have to see em," Oz said, sliding out from behind the drivers seat and landing firmly on two black booted feet. "So this is the Hellmouth?" Gunn said, stretching calmly and looking around, "Doesn't look like much." "Yeah, well when you're dead, we'll remember you said that," Cordy snapped, shivering slightly in the warm night. She hated coming home almost as much as Xander did. She leaned into him as he slid his arm around her waist and they silently shared that eery feeling that came with the town. "Cordelia," Giles grumbled, "please try to be civil. You could have opted to stay at home, you know." "And miss all the fun and the suck fest? Never," she grumbled back. "Willow," Giles said, turning around to look for the little witch. He turned a full circle and made it back to his original position without finding her, "Where is Willow?" "Well," Whistler said, straightening his hat, "She had an errand to run." "What sort of errand?" Giles said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the demon, "And why didn't she mention it to me?" "We wouldn't have let her go," Oz said, stepping in next to Giles, alining himself on the side of the Watcher, "Right?" "Yeah," the demon replied, "Pretty much. Come on, we gotta jam." "No one is going anywhere until you explain where Willow has gone!" Giles demanded. "She went to the Annual Meeting." "WHAT?" Giles shouted, nearly hysterically, "That is what Buffy and Angelus are doing in Sunnydale?" "Annual Meeting?" Xander quirked, "Sounds deadly." "Great," Cordelia snorted, "Vampires embracing corporate structure. Wouldn't Daddy be proud?" "Not really all that corporate sounding, Cordy," Gunn added grimly. "Not really all that meeting like either," Giles explained, running a hand through his graying hair nervously, "It's a yearly gathering of the strongest vampires vying for leadership. Willow will die before she makes it into the building."

"Nah," Whistler said smiling, "Don't underestimate your little witch." A loud growl came from beside Giles and he froze before slowly turning his head to see Oz snarling in anger, half way into his metamorphosis. "Don't underestimate the wolf," Xander said, trying to joke, but backing away slowly. They all watched silently as Oz gathered his senses and began reverting back to his human form. He focused on Whistler, still seething in anger, eyes still blazing from the wild. "Where's the meeting?" he asked calmly with no trace of a growl. "You kids are crazy," Whistler said with loud belly laugh, "It's cool. Really. Come on." *** i will wait for you what you believe you'll wish to receive i won't believe in you hang on to your life "You'd think they've never seen a Slayer before," Buffy said with a mirthful laugh as they waltzed into the Annual Meeting. "Not a turned Slayer," Angelus said laughing along, "See? I knew you'd enjoy this." "You were right," she said, squeezing his arm as they headed for the empty throne at the head of the room, sitting above the rest of the room, majestic and macabre. It was ancient, pieced together from more than a dozen types of wood. The room stopped as Angelus sat in the chair, resting against carved writhing bodies, depictions of death and destruction. Buffy sat on his lap, crossing her legs as she settled on his thigh. A charming assortment of fear, anger and uproar flew at them from hundreds of golden eyes. Angelus waited calmly to be challenged, his hand moving slowly up and down the spine of his dark queen. Five minutes passed when a brave soul called out, "A Slayer with the Master?" "A fledgling on the throne?" Another screamed in protest. "Who will challenge her rightful place?" Angelus asked, speaking in a low, feral voice, "Who challenges my right to claim my consort?" The mumbles of voiced conversations rose in the room, rising slowly and peaking until the room brimmed with growls and barely held roars. Buffy had not lost her smile as she looked over the weaker masses. No one could defeat them and she was certain no one would try. She turned and glanced at her mate, seeing a twinkle of amusement and confidence in his eyes. "Stupid bloody wankers," Spike stated clearly, not in a yell but loud enough to hush the room at his grand entrance with his mate. The vampires waited for Spike and Drusilla to weave around them and make their way to the throne. He nodded curtly, making eye contact with his Grande Sire and began his pledge, "Angelus, leader of the Order of Aurelius, direct bloodline of the Master, Sire of Drusilla, Grande Sire of William the Bloody, I accept your ascent to the throne." Turning, he faced the crowd, feeling the mad silent laughter of his mate next to him. She clapped her hands, breaking her silence, already feeling the evil plan coming from her mate. Daddy was going to fall, but not here. Not in this room.

"Who challenges? Who fucking challenges?" Spike demanded of the room. "Not me. That's for sure," A bold voice said from the back. Heads turned towards the door to focus on a striking, leather clad redhead, yawning her way through the crowd. Her porcelain skin gleamed with power and prowess as she stepped through them and they moved away, awed by the power held in a fledge just as they had when Buffy strolled in. This girl swung a different sort of bitter light on the group, one that made them tremble even more. A hand reached out to caress her skin, drawn to her and unable to control the impulse. She grabbed the hand without bothering to notice the body it was connected to and snapped the vampire's wrist. His scream of pain echoed behind her as she moved on. "These your friends, Buff?" She asked, "They're so dull." "When did you join the land of the undead, Will?" Buffy said, settling back against Angelus, "Get jealous of my freedom?" "You know," she answered, flashing golden eyes for a brief second, "I miss ya. What's the point in trying to fight the good fight when the Slayer's a vampire? You shouldn't get all the fun." "Are all the Scoobies joining up?" Spike asked with a grin, "Or did you save one or two for us?" "There's plenty to go around," Willow answered, brushing her hand over his chest and ignoring Drusilla's growl of warning. She stepped up near the stage and leaned over, kissing her friend lightly on the lips. She ran her tongue over Buffy's lips, tasting her smile. Slipping her hand over Buffy's shoulder, she lightly scratched the Slayer's delicate skin. Buffy shivered and was not surprised when Angelus caught Willow's wrist, pushing her away from his mate. "Wanna be bad?" Willow asked coyly, "Cause this place reeks of weakness and I can lead you straight to the white hat party." *** wind blow shame around my heart shadows scream around my heart Angelus, Buffy, Spike and Drusilla followed Willow through the streets, stopping to feed once along the way and laughing about the minions they destroyed on the way out of the room. Each had taken a life as a sign of their power. "So we can just leave and they'll do what we told them to do?" Buffy asked, nearly skipping along after her friend. She had planned to kill Willow eventually, but she was more pleased with how this had turned out. Now she had a friend to play with and the ex-human witch sent waves of evil all around her, screaming a like siren and reaching further than the sound could travel. "Fear is an interesting thing," Angelus answered, "Did you feel it, baby?" "The minute we walked in," Buffy answered, "I was lapping it up. It was never that good when I was human." "Nothing is," he answered, "They'll do as they're told. They're too afraid not to." "We're going to High School?" Spike joked as they mounted the crumbling stairs in front of Sunnydale High, "Doesn't look like much learning goes on here."

"The Hellmouth," Drusilla moaned, "And something more..." "Yeah," Willow said, leading them through the burnt out hallways. They heard the chanting and felt the power before they even reached the room that had once been the library, "So much more." "Trap," Angelus growled as he stepped across the magickal threshold. All four vampires were planted to the floor as leafy vines emerged through the cracks in the broken ground and whipped around their arms and legs, holding them still. Willow raised her arms and closed her eyes, flinging her head back as she shouted a garbled incantation over the angry growls of the vampires. They watched as her body shifted, softening. Her blood temperature rose as her life resumed its travel through her, forcing her heart to pump once more. As the last word made it from her mouth, she fell to her knees, gasping for breath as if she were trying to make up for the gulps of air she had missed. She heard Oz shout her name and the sound of his boots hitting the floor as he ran to her. She turned and raised her hand, asking him silently to stop. Unsteadily, she rose to her feet and nodded at Whistler who cued the group to begin the next incantation. "No!" Angelus screamed as he saw the Orb of Thesala nestled in the circle that Giles sat in, chanting the familiar Latin of his curse. The orb began to glow, slowly at first until it brightened to a nearly blinding orange light. Angelus' eyes matched the color seconds later, gasping in pain. Soul intact, the vines released him and he fell to his knees. He was quickly followed by Spike and Drusilla, who were likewise released of their vines. Buffy remained standing and her soul, confused by the change in her body, took the longest to return to its shell. The room breathed a collective gasp of relief as she too was released and forced to her knees. "Quickly," Willow breathed, stepping forward, "Almost dawn." Whistler stepped forward and clasped hands with the witch as the group looked on in slight confusion. Which part was this? Oz followed and claimed her other hand, meeting her eyes briefly before the three most powerful beings of the team focused on Buffy. Whistler and Oz swayed, struggling to remain standing next to the powerful witch as she intoned the chant inside their minds and Buffy's. Her voice was next to a scream and her power forced the two men to lurch forward, groaning in pain. They held onto her hands and nearly breaking the fragile bones there as she channeled their strength in the spell. "Buffy," Angel whispered as she was dragged from the circle, reeled in by an invisible force to her friend's feet. She glowed a white hot blue for a moment and as her heart began to beat she thrashed on the ground. Willow dropped Oz's hand and Whistler's and lowered to one knee. Holding her breath, she felt her friend's warm face. She sobbed openly as she felt a pulse. ***

stripped down to the bone laughing, living on your own all alone Three days later, Buffy woke up in Giles' little house in Los Angeles. Her Watcher had kept a silent vigil over her, not daring to take her to the hospital. When she finally stirred, he crossed the room and looked down at her, waiting. "Giles?" Buffy whispered through the tears that were already streaming down her face, "Am I...what am I?"

"Oh Buffy. I'm so sorry," Giles said, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly. She sobbed on his shoulder, releasing all the pain she had been building in her unsettling three days of sleep. "I'm not human, am I?" Buffy asked, pulling away and looking into his eyes, "I'm n-not the same." "No," he answered sadly, shaking his head, "You'll never be the same. You are human, Buffy. Just not completely. It was too...late for that." "Then what?" Buffy asked in a rasping voice, "What have I become?" "A hybrid," he said, settling back on the couch, "You're a partial vampire." "What does that mean?" "We're not entirely sure," he said, honestly, tugging off his glasses. Speaking softly and occupying his eyes in any other direction than his Slayer, he revealed the events since she had lost her soul. He tried to look at her, even as he heard her weeping beside him and felt the shudder of the couch next to him, but he couldn't. He closed his eyes, feeling them brimming with tears as he choked out the whole story. "So now Angel and I are linked," she said, "That's the part I don't really get. To correct the curse, our souls are connected?" "More like intertwined," he answered, finally turning to look at his charge, "This has never been done before, but the way that I understand it is that you have more than a mated bond. If he feels pain you will and vice versa. You may be able to feel each other's direct emotions if in close proximity." "Will I still crave..." "Blood? Perhaps, but your body will not need that sort of sustenance. You will need food, just as any other human." "Sunlight? Holy Water? Crosses?" "I'm not sure, Buffy," Giles answered, "I'm not sure about anything." "Is everyone okay?" Buffy asked after a long pause. "Yes," he said, "Everyone made it through relatively unscathed. Willow is still a bit drained from the spells, but seems to be faring nicely." "And Angel?" Buffy asked, almost afraid to say his name. Giles stiffened and took a deep breath, "You'll need to see for yourself." "Why?" Buffy asked, scooting to the edge of the couch and digging her alarmed eyes into Giles'. "He isn't accepting the linking well, Buffy." "Not well? Like how?" "He's kinda insane," Xander said, strolling into the house.

"Kinda? Pfft. He's loco, cracked out and nutty as a fruitcake," Cordelia said, following closely behind her boyfriend. "Tact, children," Giles muttered. "Where is he?" Buffy said, standing up a bit too quickly and swaying on her feet for a second. Giles reached out to steady her and she looked back gratefully at him before turning back to Xander and Cordelia. "He's chained up at the hotel," Xander said, "Spike and Drusilla are taking care of him." "Chained up?" Buffy asked, moving toward the door. "Buffy," Xander said, touching her arm gently, "I don't think you wanna go see him right now." "Why?" "He's...he's not really Angel right now," he said, "You should wait a day or two until you feel better." "Oh my God," Buffy said, running through the door. If Xander's last minute kindness toward Angel was any indication of his condition, it was so much worse than they were letting on.

i don't give i unveil don't want to live in your misery Between Angel's nonstop roars drifting up from the basement and Drusilla's wails wafting downstairs from their bedroom, Spike was in utter anguish. He stood in the middle of the hotel lobby trying to figure out what to do. His newly restored soul was not settling well into the skin that had murdered all those people in such a short time. How long would it be until it happened again? The Watcher had assured him that it wouldn't, but he wasn't so sure. Nothing was definite. Maybe they would never be safe. Maybe it didn't matter if he had a soul or not. It hadn't mattered for Penn. The phone rang and he trudged across the room and picked it up, "Angel Investigations. We're fucking hopeless." "Spike? It's Giles." "Yeah," Spike answered, leaning heavily on the counter, "Got more good news for me, mate? Cause I can't fucking take it right now." "Buffy is on her way over." "Did you even hear what I just said?" Spike moaned in complaint, "Sire's down there out of his damn tree and you're sending the little semi-vamp Slayer over to torture us all some more? Maybe you can load the sprinkler system with holy water later and start a fire." "I did try to persuade her to stay away," Giles explained calmly, "Please try to be gentle with her. She's not adjusting to her new...condition well."

"I'm sure she isn't," Spike said, "I'm still trying to forget what we did together. No offense, but I'm not interested in seeing the chit right now." "She should be there soon," Giles said, "Do you think her presence will worsen Angel's madness?" "It'll worsen mine," he snapped and then sighed, "I don't know. It's hard to say. I guess we'll find out." Spike hung up the phone and went up to see Dru, shuddering from her cries as he went. Since their souls had been returned she was doing just what she had last time. She was mourning the loss of the people she had killed and her fragile mind just couldn't handle the torment she had visited on innocents. Her connection with Angel was closer than his own and with her highly developed sensitivities, he knew that part of her anguish was her Sire's. He entered the bedroom slowly and looked over to the bed where she laid, curled up in a tight ball, clinging to Miss Edith and sobbing into her silk pillow case. "It's okay, ducks," he offered gently as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, "It's going to be alright, love." "Spike," she choked as she scooted over and laid her head in his lap, "So much blood, so much death." "I know, pet," he said, smoothing a hand over her shining dark hair, "The memory's going to hurt for awhile, but we'll get over it. Just like last time." "N-not memories," she wept, "What's to come, Spike. It's what's to come." *** see you don't you just want to see you i am one see you don't you just want to Buffy's skin felt strange, as if it were trying to figure out what to do about the vampire blood running swiftly underneath it. She ran along feeling her heart pound and even that felt strange. It wasn't natural. It should be but it wasn't. She still felt dead even though she lived. She ran toward the hotel sensing Angel's pain digging in underneath her own. When he first tasted her blood, she felt an automatic bond form between herself and her mate but it was not nearly as strong as the one formed when he Sired her. Another step up was the mating between them, the vampiric joining, the claiming as mates. As her memories moved on to the linking, she reached up and felt her neck, almost startled to find that with her humanity, his mark on her had returned. Emblazoned on her flesh, it stood out from her smooth skin, more than just an unsightly scar. Now that their souls were linked, she felt like he was howling inside her. She shuddered as she kept moving toward her mate, moving faster than her previously human legs could have carried her. She realized as she ran that her body had retained part of the additional vampiric senses she had - speed, strength and smell. They were stronger and more defined than she had been as a human Slayer before. The odors of the people around her stood out, crashing over her with startling accuracy.

Wheels screeched behind her as a large black van careened dangerously around the corner and fell in behind her. She glanced back as the side door slid open, revealing a large man with a crossbow. He aimed and she jumped forward, flipping her body into a graceful roundoff to avoid the flying wooden fatality. The van stopped and three men climbed out, clad in all black, all armed with different weapons. She faced off with them, glaring angrily, "Who the hell are you?" "We have been sent by the Council," the thinnest and most gaunt looking man answered. He had a sparse head of sandy brown hair and steel gray eyes that reflected no kindness. "I'm the Slayer," she answered, watching them closely for offensive movements, "Why are you trying to kill me?" "Correction," he answered, "You were the Slayer. Now you are an abomination." "I'm human," she said firmly, forcing herself to keep from backing away from them. "Human?" he snorted in disgust, "Part vampire is not human. You are a disgrace to the Council, as is your failed Watcher. You and the souled vampires cannot be allowed to walk this earth." "We're still fighting the forces of evil," Buffy protested, wishing she could get her feet to move. She had to run. She couldn't kill another human, "You are trying to destroy warriors for the good side here." "Under direct order of the Watcher's Council of England," he intoned in a voice that betrayed memorization, "Buffy Summers, former Slayer, you are sentenced to death for willingly giving yourself to the powers of darkness. Your treason cannot be overlooked." "Where's the trial? Don't I even get a last request?" Buffy half-heartedly joked as she looked around her. There was a wall behind her and she was trapped there with three trained assassins preparing to kill her. Inside her mind, her mate was roaring in angry torment. She couldn't think straight. Had to find a way out of this. The man laughed, joined in by his counterparts as they snidely looked over her like she wasn't even a person anymore, but a creature to be destroyed. As if on cue, they all three stopped their chuckling and aimed. *** I'm down, so down time is right for a guiding light try to turn to reasons in your bitter life Angel knew the moment he first ingested the vampiric blood of the Slayer, he would never be the same. Just a sip of her undead blood had made him dizzy and drunk with her power. He felt strange and disoriented when it first happened and it left a craving unlike his normal bloodlust. The sheer potency of her, the way it made every nerving ending sing with glee was tempting, nearly irresistible. It had taken all of his self control not to drain it all from her and greedily gulp down that cold supernatural essence. Now that his soul was returned along with hers, Spike's and Drusilla's, he knew that the blood no longer existed. Buffy was not a vampire anymore but a partial one if he had understood the conversations going on around him. That power was gone forever except what still sat in his body, breeding more power with each moment he remembered it. A part of his mind did not understand that his mate was now, again, a living woman. A bond that had been created in

their vampiric union and even rebirth could not remove it. It was making him insane. He was itching to touch the skin that was warm once more, to taste the blood that still had his own mixed inside it. The linking with her had been the final addition that broke him of any remnant of reason. The man in him accepted the link, cherished it, loved it. He could feel her emotions as she slept and dreamed over the three days. When she finally woke up, realized the link and felt him, he trembled on the inside. It was ecstacy when she reached for him with her mind and he roared louder for release. Had to be closer to her. He was too far from his beloved. Too fucking far. The demon in him, however, was trapped with a living human soul and even as he tried to meld the conflicting parts of himself, even as he tried to grasp the demon and bury him, he couldn't. The demon was too strong and too furious with being chained to her. He knew if he killed her he would die. He knew if he hurt her he would hurt himself. The knowledge was infuriating. All of his emotions clicked together and became a living, breathing giant of fury when he felt her fear and panic. His mate was trapped and in danger. He jerked at the chains keeping him in that dirty, musty basement beneath the hotel. He slammed forward using every bit of his strength until they gave. He stumbled up the stairs and out of the hotel toward the beckoning call of his mate. *** some things you just can't hide if you see her, tell me why, why, why Giles hung up the phone and poured himself another drink, ignoring the shocked stares of Xander and Cordelia. Willow and Oz had joined the group to check on Buffy shortly after she left and were surprised to find her gone already. "Is she okay?" Willow asked softly, watching Giles nurse his drink, wondering what his job was now. Did he still train her as the Slayer? Was he supposed to pretend none of this had happened at all? "A big no' should just about cover that," Xander answered, holding onto Cordy's hand tightly, "She freaked out and ran to Angel. What if that lunatic turns her again?" "Please don't," Giles said, closing his eyes painfully, "That will not happen." "What if it does?" Xander retorted, hardly getting his whole insensitive question out as the door slammed open. They all looked up and stared at the Slayer who stormed inside and shut the door behind her, leaning against it, heaving breaths. "Faith!" Giles cried out, dropping his glass as he stood up abruptly, "What are you doing out of jail?" "Fucking Council's out house cleaning," Faith heaved, wiping a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand and moving to the window peer out, "Said that they were starting out fresh. B and I are history so another Slayer can be called. Had to jump ship before they gutted me." "Dear Lord," Giles said, "They're after Buffy as well?" "Yeah," Faith said, still looking out into the night for her attackers, "I don't see them but it's just a matter of time. I know you aren't concerned about me, but you should be concerned about

you. When they said they were wiping the slate clean, it kinda sounded like they meant the whole thing, if you know what I mean. What the hell did you people do to piss them off?" "What did you do?" Xander asked irritably. "I've been cooling my heels in prison for months being a good little inmate until tonight when some guys tried to kill me in my sleep. They broke into my cell! Your precious little Buffy must have done something." "Spike," Giles said into the phone and they all turned to look at him. They hadn't even realized he'd been dialing until he spoke, but now they were all hoping silently that Buffy had already made it safely there. It hadn't seemed like a prudent plan before when she went there, but now that the Council was murdering people, being protected by three vamps looked like a wonderful idea, "Has Buffy made it there yet? How on earth did he escape? I thought you had him chained up! Listen, the Council has sent assassins after Buffy and we suspect that you, Angel and Drusilla are in the same danger. It most certainly is your concern! If Angel and Buffy die, we can't be certain that your curse will hold. Yes, I realize we are lacking some important knowledge, Spike. There really isn't time right now. Please go help them straight away. Well, take her with you for crying out loud!" *** around my heart shadows streak around my heart do what you got to do and say what you got to say so what you got to do yes, start today start today Gunn hung up his cell phone and gathered five of his men. They jumped into his truck and drove toward the hotel, wondering how the hell he got in the middle of this insane world. One day he was fighting vampires and living his version of a normal life and the next thing he knew there were good vamps with souls and Slayers that had to be watched out for. Things were so much easier before. He took the route he thought Buffy might have taken on foot from Giles' house to the hotel, hoping to find her somewhere in between. He slammed on the brakes as he saw her facing off with two Council members. Angel was holding a third member, the largest one, snarling ravenously, bare chested and bare footed. "Hey ya'll," Gunn said with a smile, "I'm not interrupting am I?" "Gunn," Buffy breathed, not daring to turn her eyes away from her attackers to look at him. "Hey Buffy," he said lightheartedly, "I'd say hi' to Angel too, but he looks like he lost some marbles on the way over." "Leave citizen," the thin man ordered, "This is not your concern." "See," Gunn said as Spike and Drusilla completed the circle by moving to block the other side, "Those are my friends, so this is my business. Why don't you guys just go back to wherever you came from?" "We are not leaving without destroying the lives of these atrocities," he answered, keeping his weapon trained on the Slayer.

"See that's not even nice," Gunn retorted, "Why don't you back off before someone gets hurt?" "Yeah," Spike said, standing in front of Drusilla and nodding at the guy's hand gun, "You could poke someone's eye out with that. Sides, my Sire over there looks like he's gonna snap the neck of your little friend." "We have our affairs in order," he replied calmly, "If we die completing our mission, then we die." Angel slowly cut off the air supply of the man he was holding until he fell unconscious and he dropped him, sweeping forward to pick up the crossbow that clattered on to the sidewalk. He raised the weapon and aimed quickly, shooting the thin man's hand. He growled into the man's scream as the gun fell, banging loudly on the concrete. Spike dashed forward, tackling the third man and slamming his head on the ground. Angel grabbed the man he had shot by the throat, raising him from the ground as he continued the growl he couldn't seem to stop. "Angel!" Buffy called, inching forward, "Put him down. You can't kill him." He looked back at her, trying to form words, but couldn't manage. His eyes were golden and his ridged face was intact, but that had nothing to do with why he looked maniacal. Buffy repeated her command to her mate, "Put him down, Angel." Gunn, Spike, Drusilla, his five men and the remaining conscious Council member all gasped in shock as her eyes blazed golden, matching her mate's. Her voice was low and deadly, just a whisper away from a growl as she approached him, placing her hot little hand on Angel's arm, "Put. Him. Down." Focused on his mate, he simply let go, allowing the man to drop without seeing where he landed. He kept his eyes on her, sweeping over her body. "It's okay, baby," she whispered. He turned and pulled her into his arms, crushing her against his chest. For the first time in three days, Angel stopped growling and made no sound. Buffy was the first to make a noise and the desperate sob was muffled against a hard, cold chest. *** Part Eleven "It's Not Easy Being Dead" DEDICATION: For Kyria, who will be joining me in Angel Rehab. The first step is admitting you have a problem. *G* *** but beware all those angels with their wings glued on cause deep down we are frightened and we're scared Gunn's men gathered the Council's assassins and tossed them in the back of the truck after thoroughly checking them for weapons. Buffy, Angel, Spike and Drusilla walked to the hotel slowly, not speaking in the night. There was so much to say, so many things to talk about that none of them could think of where to start, so they kept their mouths closed, silently wondering what do to next.

When they arrived at the hotel, Gunn and his friends had successfully unloaded the three offenders and were busy tying them up in the hotel's spacious lobby. Buffy surveyed the room and the three men, two of whom were still unconscious before walking over to the phone and calling Giles. She leaned against the counter as she explained what had happened and patiently answered each of his questions. Finally, he explained Faith's arrival and despite the upsetting news, Buffy couldn't bring herself to react. She just absorbed and she knew that she was quickly filling up. There wasn't much more room for more surprises. She hung up the phone and turned around, nearly slamming into the bare chest of her mate. She hadn't realized that he had been standing right behind her. She craned her neck, looking up into his eyes. They were still golden and seemed to be flaming with a mixture of unidentifiable emotions. If she were just reading his gaze, she would have been a little confused, but the linking aided her in understanding him. She took his hand and led him over to the couch, gently guiding him to sit before she lowered herself onto his lap, curling up against his chest with sheer exhaustion. "Giles and everybody are coming over to poke and interrogate the three stoodges," she said out loud to no one in particular. It was just an announcement. Angel's arms held her tightly as he began to relax against her. She tilted her head and kissed a small piece of his bare chest, as she closed her eyes, sighing in contentment. She couldn't make herself think about the million issues floating around in her mind right then. She just wanted to shut down. "You're just going to go to sleep?" Gunn asked incredulously, causing her to open one eye then the other, glancing across the room to him. "No," she said, "I'm resting until the calvary arrives." "Angel's still vamped out," he said, nodding at his friend warily. He wanted to trust Angel, but he couldn't. Not now. Maybe never again. Buffy pulled away and looked up at his ridged face, and smiling softly. Even with his demon revealed, he was beautiful. She reached up and smoothed her small hand over his cheek. "He's upset," she said, laying her head back on his chest. "He hasn't spoken since the linking," Spike added, eyeing his Sire and squeezing his whimpering mate closer to him. "I know," she said, closing her eyes, "I know he hasn't." "Well don't you think there's something wrong with him?" Spike shouted, "Can't you see that he's cracked?" "Yes, Spike," she said, opening her eyes again and glaring at him from the comfort of Angel's arms, "I know that. I'm not stupid." Buffy closed her eyes again, wishing she could stop up her hearing as well. Unfortunately, it had gotten better during her recent transformations, not worse. She appeared to be relaxed but she was clutching Angel tightly. He wasn't the only one who wasn't responding well. She wished she could say the right words and heal them both, but she knew inherently that the only thing to do was wait. And then wait some more. *** she said, "i'm dead, all this pain smothers me like a bomb that you can't see."

Giles entered the Hyperion and gathered his wits about him as he looked around. Gunn and five other men, presumably members of his gang, stood around talking amongst themselves. It would have looked casual if they weren't strategically scattered in a defensive pattern around the three men clad in all black, bound and gagged on the smooth tiled floor. Spike and Drusilla were sitting on the stairs and he could clearly hear the vampiress' wounded whimpering as he descended the stairs, followed closely by Xander, Cordelia, Willow, Oz and Faith. Finally, the Watcher allowed his eyes to rest on Buffy and Angel. Buffy was fast asleep, curled up in the vampire's arms, but Angel was wide awake, glaring at the intruders with golden eyes. Giles stepped forward and reached out to touch Buffy, planning on shaking her to waking but the warning growl from Angel caused him to pull back. "Buffy," Giles said gently, stepping away, "Wake up." Buffy stirred slowly and Angel stayed still as she unraveled herself from him, yawning and stretching like a cat. She stayed perched on his lap, crossing her legs and wrapping an arm around her lover's shoulders as she looked over her friends. She felt set apart now. They were human and mostly normal, but she was different - better and worse at once. "Hi guys," she said, sleepily, "Sorry I dozed off. It's been a rough couple of weeks." "Yeah," Xander said, "Dying will take it out of you." "Thank you, Xander," Giles snapped, "That will be enough of those sorts of comments." "Sorry," he mumbled back. "That's okay," Buffy said, "I was dead. Now I'm...I'm still dead." "No, Buffy," Willow said, "Just a little dead and that means you're mostly alive." "So you're half vamp now?" Faith asked, strolling over to the now awake Council Members, "That's wicked strange." "Part vamp and you have no idea," Buffy said, absently caressing Angel's shoulder with her fingertips. Moving her glance back to Giles, she sighed, "So will the Council send more assassins or is this all of them?" "I'm not sure," Giles said, "Perhaps we should ask them." Taking his cue, Gunn bent down and remove the gags of all three men without exercising much gentleness. He stepped back and watched as Giles glared at his former comrades. The room seemed alive with doubt, anger and frustration as he began the questioning. "Well?" Giles asked impatiently after a moment of silence. "I don't know," the gaunt man answered, "We have never failed in our duties before." "Congratulations," Buffy said wryly. *** what you wait for flower chase the sunshine

flower chase the sunshine flower Giles had offered the Council the lives of the assassins in exchange for their promise to stay away from the Slayers and they refused. He could hardly believe he had trusted in them for so long. They had absolutely no love or respect for lives, human or otherwise. It was a little confounding that an organization put together solely as the backbone of the Chosen One, a person whose reason for existence was the preservation of life, would not care about saving anyone. Eventually, they decided to call the police and have them arrested for attempted murder. It all went fairly smoothly except for a few little details that had to be stumbled over. The first was the explanation of why they moved the attackers and tied them up at the hotel and the other was the nefarious growls coming from Angel, forced to be hidden upstairs and away from Buffy. When the police finally cleared out, they all breathed a collective sigh of relief. Seconds later, Angel appeared, followed by an angry and exasperated Spike. "Could you people wait a little fucking longer?" he shouted, pounding down the stairs after Angel, "The Poof damn near ripped my arm off. You shoulda made the Slayer wait up there with him!" "Sorry," Buffy said, not so apologetically as Angel nuzzled her, inhaling deeply, "I had to be down here to explain how they tried to murder me. Didn't mean to put you out." "I'm not doing that a-fucking-gain," Spike muttered, rubbing his shoulder. "Poor Spike," Xander clucked sarcastically. "Shut up," Spike growled, "I'm feelin' peckish and you're starting to look tempting." "You won't feed off of him and we all know it," Buffy said, looking out the double doors at the rising sun. "Yeah!" Xander said and then added, "We do?" "Course," Buffy answered as she tentatively took a step forward toward the exit and the light. Gathering her strength, she took another step and then another until Angel grabbed her arm, releasing a low, warning growl as he pulled her back. "I have to find out," Buffy explained. Gently, she removed his hand from her and stepped away again. She looked back at him as he rumbled behind her, wanting to follow into the light, but knowing he couldn't. Willow stepped in beside her friend, grabbing her hand. Buffy turned and smiled thankfully at her. Together they moved slowly toward the door, a tiny step at a time. They pushed through together and continued until the sunlight was a step away. The group looked anxiously after them, holding their breath as they waited for that final step. "It's okay, Buffy," Willow whispered, "Whatever happens, we'll deal." "I'm scared, Will," Buffy said shakily, "What if I can't..." "I'm still your friend," Willow said, squeezing her hand, "No matter what. Sunlight or not, we're still best friends." Gripping Willow's hand tightly and gratefully, she raised her other hand, allowing the sunlight to dance over her fingertips. She waited. No pain, just a slight tingling. She took a half step

and then a full step and then another until she was immersed in the sunlight. It warmed over her skin in a nonfatal way. She breathed a lung full of sunshine and when she released it, it was a sob. She allowed herself to be gathered into Willow's arms and was overcome with weeping. She was in the sun and it was proof that she was still alive. *** bury me in love bury me in love shared your kisses take your heart buried me and it hurts "It's okay," Buffy said to her mate, shaking her head, as she stepped back inside the hotel, facing him. "What?" Cordelia asked, "He didn't even say anything." "He doesn't have to," Buffy said, reaching out to him. He flinched when she touched him. His face had reverted to human and it made him look even more anguished. He started to step away but she held him there, gripping his hand tightly, "He thought he killed me." "He did kill you," Giles said, "I hate to point out the obvious, Buffy, but you are part vampire now. The fact that you can go into the light does not change the severity of the situation." "You're not helping," Buffy warned, "Don't you think I know that everything is different now? You have no idea what I'm feeling! None of you! I killed people. Plural. Not a person. People! I fed off human lives and enjoyed it. Right now, I can hear your heartbeats. I can almost hear the flow of your blood. And it turns my stomach. Yes, I was dead. And I'm part demon now. But guess what? Angel is no more to blame than I am so you can stop looking at him like that. You want to know what happened? I know you do, so I'll tell you! Angel didn't turn me one second before I wanted him to. He couldn't. I handed him my life in exchange for an eternity in his arms." She took a deep breath and waited for the knowledge to sink in before she continued in calmer voice, "I wanted it. I teased him with it, dangling my life over his head. Then I gave it to him and I loved it. I love the feelings, the strength, the power. I enjoyed taking those lives and we are the ones who have to live with it. Even as I tell you this, I can feel his shame and guilt for what happened." She turned slowly and faced her mate, looking into his eyes and wishing for his silence to end, "We can feel each other now. And between us there's a chasm of sorrow...and love." She intertwined her fingers with his before turning to face her friends once more, "I love him and I won't stand for one more second of him being treated with contempt. He's a permanent part of me now. You want to know why he growls when he's away from me? Because it hurts...physically and emotionally and spiritually. It hurts so fucking bad that I can't believe I'm not growling too." Her eyes shimmered with tears as she looked over them, "I'm sorry for what I put you through. I really am, but I don't have the strength to beg you to understand. God, I wish I did." As she lost herself in her sobs, they looked on in awed silence. Angel gathered her in his arms and gave them a frigid stare as he passed them and carried her up the stairs. ***

Part Twelve "Disasters Await" Dedication: For indie *** way deep within my heart lies a soul that's torn apart Angel carried his sobbing mate up the stairs and into the bedroom. The pain and sorrow streaming off her tiny, trembling body made it even harder for him to grasp at the shred of humanity and lucidity that remained inside him. He wanted, more than anything, to whisper soothing words, to kiss her pain away but his mind wouldn't cooperate. He couldn't form those human words, those rote phrases that would easily drift from his lips before. He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently rocked, the motion almost assuaging both of them. She knew that he understood, even if he remained silent. She could feel the same emotions tearing from his skin and slicing into hers. She rubbed her cheek on his cold chest, needing just a little more contact. His arms tightened around her, gathering her in as closely as he could, wishing he could bring her inside of him, make her the part that tames the demon. The sad irony of the situation was that being away from her, not having closeness and contact made him insane and being with her, being so close and yet just missing the connection they both needed made him just as crazy. A depressing little Catch-22 was in place and neither of them knew how to resolve it. After a long time, she pulled away and stood on her own two feet. Angel sat there, his arms feeling strangely empty now and looked at her, waiting. She crawled further onto the bed and laid down on her side, snuggling into the pillows. After a moment, she turned and reached for him, beckoning him to join her. He immediately responded, spooning his large frame around her smaller one and held her tightly. Every once in awhile, even in their sleep, they would shiver simultaneously as their souls sought to find the place they were supposed to settle. Angel buried his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling vanilla and love, his lips dangerously close to the scar. *** around my heart, shadows streak, around my heart The group stood, scattered throughout the lobby of the Hotel Hyperion and stared at the stairs where Angel had carried Buffy, shocked at her complete breakdown. They waited for a moment, none of them speaking until Giles cleared his throat. "Right then," he said, trying to hide the emotion that was coming through clearly in his voice, "I should be off." "Shouldn't we maybe try to come up with a way to...you know, help them?" Willow asked, looking over the Watcher as she spoke. He seemed a bit out of sorts and headed toward the door in a daze. "Certainly," he mumbled, "Why don't you come over this evening and we'll begin the research?" "What are we going to look under?" Cordelia snapped, "Insane vampires and the Slayers they kinda turned?" "Honey," Xander said, squeezing her hand.

"No, no," Giles said, as he pushed through the doors, "Cordelia is quite correct. This situation is not something that has happened before. I'll need...some time to think about it." "Suggestion," Oz offered, "Why don't we try reaching Whistler?" "Yeah," Xander agreed, "What happened to that little freak anyway?" "Sneaky Powers That Be," Willow said, "They're slippery little suckers." "Can you gain access, Willow?" Giles asked, pausing in the doorway, "That might be a place to start." "I...I don't know," Willow answered honestly, "I think it might be dangerous." "There's another way," Spike said from the other side of the room. Most of them had forgotten that he and the other mad vampire were still in the room. They had been cuddling in the corner for a long time, silent and watching the events unfold. "Well?" Cordelia asked, after a few moments of waiting had passed, "What is it?" "Dru," he said, caressing his mate's long dark hair, "She knows how to access them, but she can't." "Figures," Xander mumbled under his breath. "Why not?" Willow asked, taking a step toward the worn out pair. "Only a warrior can go," he answered, "and she isn't considered a warrior. Only Buffy or Angel can go but they're both sharing half the sanity these days. Or...well, I can go actually." Spike laughed out loud at his own suggestion, his eyes tearing at the idea of him becoming the hero of the situation, "I might have to save all your asses. Now that's bloody fucking hilarious." "I think all the vampires are sharing half the sanity," Xander whispered. *** too late to discover peace of mind too late to recover Buffy awoke after the sun had set and sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes wearily and looking around the room. Angel was lying next to her, sound asleep for the first time in over three days. He looked troubled in his slumber, jerking periodically and murmuring unintelligible words. She laid back down, turned onto her side and caressed him, whispering soothing words until his subconscious listened and calmed. "Come back to me, Angel," she whispered to her sleeping mate. She could see the insanity on his sculpted features even as he slept. The linking, the murders he had committed and the fact that he had almost destroyed the one thing in the world he loved had sent his mind hurtling, off setting any rational thought he once had. Scooting closer, she laid her head on his chest and threw her leg over his. As she laid awake and allowed her presence to comfort him, her mind wandered off to the mountain of problems that had to be solved. The fraction of demon buried beneath her soul longed to join hands with her newfound strength and step into the night, but she kept her place, sorting through

mental files of anguish. She wanted to sit down with her friends and find a solution to the recent uprising of chaos. Just the idea of being a working group again, of having her friends in her life, doing simple things like averting the occasional apocalypse sounded wonderful right then. Working out her initial words to them in her mind, a thought hit her that caused her to jerk up again and shake Angel roughly. "Angel!" she shouted, scrambling from the bed to put on her shoes. He sat up after a moment and watched her, keeping the same disturbing silence as before. "The Annual Meeting," she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and pulling him from the bed, "God, we left all those vampires there, running free in Sunnydale." The realization seemed to cross his face as he allowed her to pull him from the bed. She ran to the closet and pulled a shirt free, tossing it to him and looked around for shoes and socks. Visions of the bloody mess they had unwittingly left on the Hellmouth danced in her mind as she sprinted through the doors and collided with Spike, sending them both to the floor with twin thuds. "Dammit Spike," Buffy complained as she scrambled to her feet, "What are you doing lurking outside of our bedroom door?" "Waiting for the other shoe to drop," he admitted, dusting himself off. He had been keeping a vigil outside the door of his Grande Sire for a great deal of the day and part of the night, waiting for something to happen. He felt the unrest inside of him, filtered from both Angel and Dru. It disturbed his newly returned soul so much that he found himself stalking up and down the hallway, checking on Dru, then his Sire and back again until the petite body of the Slayer came flying through the bedroom door. "It's dropped," she said, looking back to find Angel looming there behind her, "We left the Hellmouth unattended." Spike stood there for a moment, looking into her wild green eyes until his own blue orbs widened with the realization of what she was referring to. "Dru!" Spike shouted as he turned and ran down the hallway to gather his mate. Buffy pivoted and tromped down the stairs, knowing her shadow was her insane vampiric mate. *** i spin off and lose my head throwing stray a spark instead gather strength down in my heel and dig it in, the world i peel Faith had also opted to keep a vigil in the hotel while her sister Slayer lay in the arms of her demented demon. Giles offered to find her a place to stay but she knew that none of the Scooby core wanted anything to do with her. Giles' offer seemed to be a second thought, an oh, yeah, which was not the comforting invitation she would have liked. Not that she thought she thought she deserved it. Before she left, before she headed back toward the darkness that she so desperately did not want to succumb to, she would offer Buffy the chance to save her. She knew that it was a fruitless and weak attempt at salvation, begging another to give her the strength that she did not have, but she had to try. She had to earn Buffy's forgiveness before it was too late. She heard the commotion coming from up the stairs and hopped soundlessly from the counter where she had been perched for more hours that she could count.

"Faith," Buffy breathed from the top of the staircase, looking down at the one remaining live person in the hotel. Buffy didn't look angry at her for what she had done or for being there. She looked frightened. "Buffy," Faith started, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to talk to you. I know I fucked up, but I thought maybe we could-" "There's no time," Buffy interrupted, "We have to get to Sunnydale as soon as poss-" The low, feral growl erupting from Angel, caused both Slayers to freeze. Buffy turned to look at him but he was already over the railing. He dropped to the floor below and Faith held her breath, taking an involuntary step back. Angel was stronger than ever, infused multiple times with the blood of a Slayer and the insane glint in his golden eyes made Faith certain she was about to die. She didn't need to feel to know there was a stake tucked in the waist band of her leather pants, but she knew she wouldn't reach for it. He only looked at her briefly, as if noting her position in the room and then moved so quickly across the lobby floor that he seemed to blur in both Slayers' eyes. Angel produced a human body at the front door and tossed him across the room toward Faith, before reaching back out and grabbing another, throwing him toward the stairs his lover was already descending. The third man's thin neck was already in Angel's hands before any of the three Council members were able to react to his movements. Angel bared his fangs and sunk into the man's neck, just piercing his skin when Buffy mouthed the word, "No," unable to make her vocal chords work. She couldn't allow him to kill the man and yet, she knew he would already be dead before she reached them. She sucked in a breath and the little sound caused the vampire to pause. He roughly pulled his fangs from the man's neck and turned to look at her, eyes golden and mouth smeared with blood. The heartbeats in the room banged in his ears as he watched her pained expression. His hands shook and he itched to continue the job. He wanted to wrap his hand more tightly around the assassin's insipid throat. He wanted to feel his spine snap in half and feed off the pain provided from the injury. He kept his eyes on Buffy and didn't move, keeping the smaller man in his steel grip. Buffy silently begged him not to continue and there was a long moment hanging in the balance when none of them knew if a life would be taken. Finally, his fangs slid back to their hiding place and he grunted in frustration, tossing the man across the room in the same fashion he had the others. He looked around the room from man to man to man, knowing he could kill all three of them and wanting to. Acutely judging all of their positions, he stood still and waited. "I saved you," Buffy said, clearing her throat, "Now it's time for you to save yourselves." "We have orders," the wounded man said, his voice trembling as he held the gash in his neck. "Do you even have a sense of survival?" Buffy asked. "Both of you," he said, looking from Faith to Buffy, "are disgraces to the Council. No Slayers who have committed the crimes the two of you have were allowed to live." "We," Buffy said, nodding at Faith, "are the Chosen Ones. No one will keep us from our calling. Not even the Council." "You trust her?" he snorted, looking over the dark haired Slayer with disgust, "She tried to kill you. You put her in a coma and you expect me to believe that the two of you are fit to fight the forces of darkness? You are the forces of darkness. We won't stop until you are-"

His words were cut off when a bullet tore through his chest. He screamed in pain before he slumped to the floor in a lifeless heap. The other two assassins were taken out by bullets from the same gun. Each was hit once with a chilling preciseness that only comes from someone who has killed before. "Giles," Buffy whispered, staring at the gun in his hand until it disappeared into the tweed pocket of his jacket. "I think you mean Ripper'," Spike said from the top of the stairs. He began his descent with Drusilla wobbling unsteadily at his side. "Indeed," Giles said with a curt nod, "But how would you know that name?" "Your anger," Drusilla whispered, licking her dry lips, "it fills the room. It consumes and dances." "They wouldn't have ever stopped, Buffy," Giles said, returning his gaze to his charge, "They are trained for one thing only. They could not have returned to England until you were dead. They would have stopped at nothing." "But...but you killed them," Buffy replied, still staring at the hand that had pulled the trigger. "There was no other way."

we are fossils the relics of our time we mutilate the meanings they're so easy to deny The Hellmouth was quiet. Eerily quiet in a way that kept both Slayers and all three souled vampires on edge. Spike and Dru set out on their own, knowing that they not be as suspicious without Angel and a pair of Slayers by their side. Spike smiled down on his mate as they moved silently through the town. Dru's madness, although accelerated, was acceptable. She was notorious for her derangement. It made Spike want to laugh. His beautiful, dark Queen, was more than able to form coherent thought from time to time but he was certain he was the only one that knew that, except of course, for Angelus. She wasn't pretending. She was cuckoo, nuttier than a fruitcake, but she still had enough sanity to be dangerous. That's what he loved about her. She was ruthless and fierce. Even with her soul, she was a force strong enough to quake the heavens and spin the stars. She leaned heavily on him as they made their way through the dark streets and alleys looking for members of the Order to destroy. She clenched and unclenched her hands rhythmically as they walked, digging those blood red fingernails into the pale palms of her hands. He smelled her blood sprouting from those half moon shaped wounds, but ignored them. He knew she wouldn't stop tormenting herself for days. The demonic part of him reared at the smell of her blood and begged to help torture her, but the soul whispered soothing words and kissed her cold brow. They had already taken out seven lesser vamps this evening but half the night was gone and they knew there were many left. If the damn Powers That Be had been a bit more helpful, he knew they could have solved this already. He told everyone that they hadn't said anything at all. They had, of course, he just didn't understand it. As they walked searching for their next victim, the Oracles' words came back reverberating through his mind again and again, "Realize your worth, William. Only then will you be able to save them."

What the bloody hell did that mean? *** you must rise from the mounds of desire and change too late to discover peace of mind too late to recover me all you see and all you breathe and all you cease to be Buffy and Angel moved together through the night, heading the same direction by instinct, brushing against each other as walked. It was impossible to dream that this would be resolved in one night, that they could undo the carnage they had helped cause in such a short time. Buffy knew that the Annual Meeting was not their fault. It would have happened regardless of their presence but what was their fault were the issuing orders they had made. Kill every human in Sunnydale, Angelus had said, his voice stirring the crowd. Make the Hellmouth theirs again. His voice was as brilliant as his mind and she desperately missed the sound of it. The memory took hold as she remembered how he had explained to them in painstakingly simple terms how this could be accomplished, how the town could be home and headquarters to the vampire race. . It would be the one place on earth that belonged to demons alone. With no Slayer to stop them, it could finally be done. Now that the orders had been issued, it was their responsibility to make sure they could stop it before Sunnydale was beyond salvation. Buffy couldn't help but think of those people she went to High School with and wonder how many of them and their families were already dead, how many of them had been turned. She and Angel mounted the steps to the Hellmouth together and entered the school, picking their way through the charred debris. A shudder fell over them as they moved forward, knowing this was the place when they regained their souls and had been linked to each other. Buffy looked over Angel for a moment as they stepped inside. He was in game face and his golden eyes were darting around, sweeping each inch of the area in search of his brethren. She idly wondered about his immortality now that he was linked to her. If he died when she did, then it was only a matter of time before they both were distant memories to this place. The protectors of the world would leave this place together and the idea brought tears to her eyes. The realization of what that meant hit her so soundly that she stopped in mid-step. Her vision was blurred as the tears held there swam in her eyes. The linking had been a mistake. If Angel hadn't been tied to her then when his soul had been restored he could have been here to protect the innocents of the world. He was the demonic savior of the underworld, not her. She finally understood what the Powers That Be had planned and she had destroyed it. By loving him, she had marred the hope of having a champion to fight alongside the future Slayers. "No," Angel growled, speaking for the first time since the linking, glaring at his lover with a ferocious anger, "No." "Yes," she said, nodding her head sadly, allowing her tears to slide down her face. He had read her thoughts and it should have been amazing to her that their empathic abilities had moved to a higher level, but it didn't matter. Once again, she had ruined him. He pulled her into his arms and held her in his cold embrace, nearly suffocating her against his chest as he growled out again, "No." *** be ashamed of the mess you've made

Ripper was prowling. Crossbow held loosely at his side with one hand, stake in his other, he scanned the land surrounding the Hellmouth. He felt his old demons circling his head and the insanity of his Slayer's new family beating at his conscience. This was Rupert's fault. All of it. He knew that if he had been a better Watcher, if he hadn't let Buffy go so freely in her own direction, that he could have saved her. He didn't regret the murders of his former comrades. He didn't even regret dumping the bodies or the ice that was forming over his heart. All he cared about was seeking the answers to these damn riddles. He was the only was Spike shared the Oracle's riddle with, if reluctantly. William the Bloody was right. It made no sense. What worth? What could they have possibly meant by that? Then there was the issue of his Slayer. Buffy was half vampire and no one knew what that meant either. Sunlight apparently had no effect on her, but what other vampiric vises could hurt her? What if nothing could hurt her now? Was she immortal? Could she be killed? A million questions floated in his head as he raised the crossbow and shot, watching as dust exploded through a nearby bush. "Wow," Willow whispered behind him. He had nearly forgotten she was there. Even Xander and Cordelia's bickering behind him made no impression on his rampant thoughts. Clear out the Hellmouth, he thought, and then the answers would come. They had to. Any fool could see that Angel's insanity was going to hook into Buffy sooner or later. The linking would not allow them to stay apart, even in their minds. If Buffy was not able to rouse her lover to lucidity, then she would be mad as well, taking Spike and Drusilla with them shortly thereafter. Strangely, what worried him was Drusilla. If she was already insane, what happened when she caught her Sire's mental flu? *** all that you suffer is all that you are all that you smother is all that you are Gunn moved forward, grinning freely as his gang turned army combed the Hellmouth for the undead. He cared about Buffy and Angel's future and he even cared about all those Scoobies, but this was out and out fun. All those nights on the streets of LA taking out vamp nests had prepared them for this battle and he was proud of his friends. All of them had gone from homeless vagrants and no good street hustlers to hunters and predators. They were skilled and alert, chemical free and high on the fight for good. It was exhilarating, a total rush and he stood up as their proud leader. To his right the dark haired, jailbird Slayer stalked off alone. He looked over his gang and after a moment's hesitation, left them to move ahead on their own, moving silently after her. They didn't need him to breathe over their shoulders. All were completely capable of fighting on their own, a fact that made him feel like a proud father. Maybe this is how Giles' felt about Buffy. Before she became a vamp, that is. Gunn was having a bit of difficulty keeping up with Faith and not revealing his presence at the same time. She was stunning as she moved, silent and deadly, suddenly shifting to a crouch in those delicious leather pants. How the hell she had procured those after her jailbreak was beyond him. A sneaking suspicion lead him to believe that some store near Giles' house had some inventory missing. Their loss was his gain, that was for damn sure. "Are you just going to stare at my ass all night?" Faith said without bothering to look back at him. "That was the idea," Gunn said, sporting a suggestive grin as he walked up closer, "Thought you might need some back up."

"Yeah, right," Faith muttered as she turned around to face him. His eyes moved over her generous cleavage before snapping back to her eyes, which were dark and bitter, but not uninviting. In fact, the asking in those dark orbs was becoming a command as she stepped closer to him and pressed him against a large oak tree. Her unstaked hand caressed the semi-erection that was quickly rising and he heaved a breath, uncertain of what to do, "I know what you really want." "I'm not denying that I would love it," Gunn said, keeping his hands away from her body, "But I'm here to stake vamps." "Oh, so you are one of them," Faith snapped, turning away from him and moving ahead through the woods, "Guess I was wrong about that." "One of them?" he sneered, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "A worker bee," she answered, knowing without looking that he was right behind her, matching her strides, "A Scooby add on for the good Slayer. Funny that she was the one to become a vamp, isn't it?" "Ok okay," he said, laughing out loud as he followed her tight leather clad body winding through the trees, her booted feet crunching angrily and unSlayerlike through the leaves and brush, "I get it." "Get what?" she demanded, stopping and facing him again, "Get what!" "I've been watching you since your came back from your scenic jail tour," he said, standing still, arms hanging at his sides, feet shoulder length apart. It was his normal stance. Not a fighter's stance, but a leader's. His chin was raised defiantly as he looked over the dark haired beauty. He was not intimidated by her, but completely unafraid and confident. It infuriated her and attracted her at the same time. "So?" "So, you wanna be good," he said, sliding a hand over his bare head, "But you don't know how. You're afraid they're all going to remember that they hate you anytime now." "You don't know shit about me," she swore, tossing her head angrily. He watched as her creamy skin shifted with her movements, deceptively soft and weak looking. Charles Gunn knew better. She was one of the two most dangerous women in the world. "Right," he said, moving ahead of her, daring to turn his back on a Slayer, "Shit, woman. I am you. I know what it feels like to not know whether you're good or bad, not sure if you're good enough to be on the right side of the fence. You're heading toward the lighter side of things, Faith. You ain't foolin' nobody, so why are you trying?" Gunn found himself on the ground in an instant, the grinding leather body of the Slayer straddling him. She didn't speak at first. Her teeth were gritted behind those harlot colored red lips, silky, dark hair all flung to one side as she looked into his light and amused brown eyes and dug her fingers into his beautiful caramel skin at the wrist, pinning him to the ground. Finally, she managed to speak, her words coming out in puffs of anger, "What the fuck do you know about it? Don't pretend to know me, Chuck. You don't. You can't even begin to imagine what it's like to be in my shoes." "Oh, you'd be surprised," he answered, still amused and nearly laughing. He was seriously pissing her off. She didn't let him go but gripped him more tightly, fuming at the audacity of this man.

"Tell me then," she ordered, pressing her knees into the ground on either side of him, her whole body clenched in anticipation at the thought that someone, anyone might understand her. "I know what it's like," he said, lying easily and calmly beneath her, "to be all alone. I know where the line between dark and light is. Been there, Faith. Done that. I know how it feels to have no one to care whether you live or die." "So?" she said, barely managing to get it out above a whisper. She loosened her hold on him and he eased one wrist free, letting the stake he gripped roll away so that he could caress her cheek, "I know what it's like to need love and trust." "You're not going to break me that easily," she choked, enjoying the feel of a gentle touch for the first time in longer that she could remember. He didn't answer as he eased his other wrist free and ran his fingers lightly over her arms. He lusted after her, he wanted her, but these movements had nothing to do with that at all. He was nuzzling a heart that had been encased in steel a long time before. Her foundation was beginning to crack and Faith was terrified that her soul would come spilling out all over Charles Gunn's. *** way down deep within my heart, lies a soul that's torn apart When the sun rose, Buffy and Angel stayed in the high school, deciding to guard the Hellmouth by day. They had taken out dozens of vamps in and around the area, which proved that even though it was closed, the mouth of hell still attracted them in droves. They found a room that was fairly sound toward the corner of what had once been Sunnydale High and planned to snuggle there to wait out the day. Buffy had managed to pull herself together and accept the truth of her ultimate betrayal to the man she loved long enough to fight out the rest of the night. Now that the morning sun had risen, she was able to refocus on the matter at hand. It was difficult to read Angel's mind, even with the part demon inside her helping. His insanity kept his thoughts and emotions in a whirlwind, slamming against his skull, so the few thoughts she was able to catch were garbled and unclear, except for one. He loved her. He loved her more than she would have ever thought to dream of. If nothing else was made certain, it was that he would rather die than be without her. He didn't care about immortality if it was without her and he didn't care about the fate of the world if she was gone. The good fight was now only possible by her side. A twisting vow rushed her as they stood in the middle of the room staring at each other, away from the dangerous morning sun that was peeking through a large crack in the foundation on the other side of the room: Even if we weren't linked, if you died, I'd greet the sun the next day. "Angel," she gasped, pressing her hand on his unbeating heart, "No." "Mate," he whispered, knowing the one word answer was the explanation to the mystery. He moved down, sweeping his lips over hers. He prodded her mouth open and explored her mouth greedily as he shrugged out of his duster. She felt his fingers tugging her shirt up and broke the kiss to allow him to pull it off and toss it to the floor. Cold hands covered her breasts, forcing her nipples to become painfully erect. He continued to kiss her as he cupped them and swept his thumbs over her nipples briefly before moving away to tug at the top button her jeans. She kicked off her shoes and aided him in removing them before she swiftly unbuttoned his shirt, tearing off two buttons in the process. When his chest was bare, she pressed against him, scraping against his skin as she tossed his shirt aside. He slammed her to the floor and crashed to his knees, unzipping his pants and pushing them down before plunging into her. She rose to meet his thrusts as their urgent coupling became

more feral, more desperate. As they mated for the first time since they had linked, they were stunned into silence from the overwhelming feel of their emotions prying into each other. The intensity of physical and mental violation was surreal and forceful. Buffy didn't even realize what she was doing as she bared her throat for him and Angel, mesmerized by his lover, had no thoughts of the fangs that elongated inside his mouth. As he lunged for her throat and dug into his scar, he felt her climaxing around him. He felt her release physically, as he plunged inside of her, as her inner muscles flexed around him and emotionally as her screams of passion spun through his mind. Her feelings of ecstacy hit him as he tasted metallic tang of her blood, laced with arousal and adrenaline. As he nursed the wound in her throat, he climaxed, unable to resist the attack of her enveloping him. He growled against the wound as he felt his lover's fangs pierce his throat. He knew in moments he would taste his own blood inside hers. *** In A Maudlin Sort of Way Part Fourteen By Tango LYRICS: All lyrics are from the Smashing Pumpkins. RATING: NC-17 DEDICATION: For indie who has wanted me to write this for a loooong time. See, I keep my promises! *G* And for everyone who has asked me about it since I left it mercilessly hanging. *G* *** to cleanse your life takes more than time take what you want take all of it Spike didn't bother to tiptoe into the burnt remains of Sunnydale High as he went in search of his Grand Sire and the partial vampire Slayer. The smell of their rutting and the animalistic sounds they were making were a sure indication that his black steel toed boots thumping through the once shining high school halls were not going to be noticed. He was a man on a mission, after all, and he didn't need to pussy foot around the issue. Tiptoeing was not what was called for. Action was. He hefted the crowbar that he had taken from Angel's car and loosened his death grip on it. Smooth and easy, that's how this was done. He stopped just outside the door and peaked inside, not feeling the least bit of shame that his cock jumped in response of the sight, no matter what his ears or nose warned him about. Buffy's slender legs were wrapped around Angel's hips as he pistoned into her like a runaway freight train. He wasn't entirely certain before that moment what exactly being part vampire meant but as he watched Buffy glutting herself on Angel's blood, he had a far more clear picture. It made his pants a great deal tighter and he had to hold the crowbar tightly lest it slip from his hand. He watched little rivulets of blood escape her as she suckled at his throat and then at her pink tongue as she licked up her mess along the column of his throat, purring like a purebred vamp. He took a deep breath and flicked his cigarette butt out behind him in the hallway. No sense in worrying about a fire hazard here, not that he usually did. What he lacked in finesse, he

made up with pure balls, as he rushed across the room and made four well aimed swings just as the couple were finding their release. *** just taste the drinks that she served and this feeling shivers down your spine "Look they're both too strong to waste time screwing around with bloody arguments, Ripper," Spike groused as he rummaged through the weapons trunks they brought along with them and groaned in disappointment to see that there were no manacles in sight. Frustrated, he interrupted the Watcher's sputtering and turned to Willow, "I need to magically enchanted manacles and foot chains. My old Sire won't be held in place with less. Can you handle it, Red?" Willow looked up from where she was crouched over Buffy, examining the ugly bruise forming on her temple and then cast a worried look at Giles. "Very well," Giles snapped and nodded curtly before pulling off his glasses and wiping them with a fierceness was inches away from cracking the delicate lenses. "Go on, Willow. I'll have a talk with Spike here." "Spike, I won't pretend to understand your entire plan, but I find it difficult to believe that brutality is going to solve anything," Giles said, returning his glasses to his face, pocketing his handkerchief and resuming his pace around the room. "Frankly, I think it's madness. I can see, however, why you'd like to chain up that raving lunatic of a Sire, but Buffy as well? Surely, you-" "Think that the Slayer will stay away and listen to what you say and be a good little girl?" Spike growled back, "Not bloody likely. A vampire's power of persuasion isn't going to sit well with the chit. I need you to keep her away. Far, far away from me and him." Spike jerked a thumb at Angel's unmoving form before heading over to where Buffy laid. He knelt down beside her and pulled her to a sitting position, pretending not to notice that the blanket they covered her with had fallen to reveal two beautiful breasts. He struggled not to smile as he leaned into her throat and licked at the dried blood there, already tingling at the first taste of her potent blood. *** do what you got to do say what you got to say do what you got to do Spike took a sip of whiskey as he watched Angel waking up. Despite his goal, there was a certain pleasure to having this much control over his Sire. He had spent all of his vampiric life under his Sire's control, always rating second place. Hell, he couldn't even his keep his mate out of the Poof's bed. As much as he regretted the necessity to do this, there was still a small part of satisfaction that would come along with duty. Angel took a few minutes to come full awake and then rattled at his chains as he growled in protest. He was not a happy vampire, but then it didn't come as a huge surprise. Game on, Spike thought as he took a final swig and rose to his feet. The Oracles said he would have the power to reverse this bloody mess and if anyone was at all skeptical about the truth of the matter, he was. He didn't have a fucking clue what he was doing. Course, he was usually good at flying on a hunch and Dru was there to tell him if disaster was about to strike. She hadn't freaked out about anything yet, so he at least he wasn't harming anything. It was disconcerting how she seemed fascinated with Angel in chains though. She

kept pawing at his bare chest and humming to herself in that adorable crazy way. He was going to have to keep a sharp eye on her during this little experiment. "Ah, you're awake," Spike said, swaggering across the room. Angel snapped and snarled, but Spike grinned back at him. "What's that mate? Not nice. After all, I did get that little blonde ball and chain off you." "Buffy," Angel growled through gritted fangs. Intimidating as it was, Dru shivered happily and threw her dark head back to laugh. She clapped her hands and danced across the room to Spike, pressing her body against his, sliding up and down him seductively. She danced and whirled her way across the room to her Sire and swayed in front of him, oblivious to his snarling and pulling at the chains. With a breathy sigh, she scraped her clawed fingernails down his bare chest and licked the blood that sprang up in their wake. "Daddy wants to rip our throats out, Spike," Drusilla crooned as if she were at a party. "Makes me shiver." "You don't have to worry about your little bint," Spike added, slipping away from Dru and moving as close as he could without risking his neck. "She tasted like sunshine going down. Can't believe you were so stingy with her blood. Poor form, mate." "Ate her all up," Dru said, licking her fingers before snapping them into a fist, "My Angel, Spike didn't even leave any blood for us." "Sorry, pet," Spike said in voice that didn't sound regretful in the least. Instead, he leaned in and spoke in Angel's face. "Smell her blood on me, Angel? She was so good." He turned around and leaned lazily against the wall rubbing his stomach. He closed his eyes and smiled in the memory before turning to look at Angel again. "One little bite and she came like a wild thing. That naked little body writhing under me...mmmm...." "No worries," Spike added. He held a hand out to Dru and clasped hands with her, escorting her up the stairs. "She didn't even know she was going to die until the end." With that Angel roared and flung his whole body toward Spike, only to be held fast by the chains. He looked like a rapid animal as he tried to launch himself on his Grand Childe. *** my daydream seems as one inside of you though it seems hard to reach through this life your blue and hopeless life my daydream screams bitter 'til the end Buffy woke slowly and found herself chained up in the passenger seat of Giles car. She tried to sit up, only to find that she was actually attached to the seat itself. She wiggled against them and looked wildly around to her only to find that she and Giles were alone in the car. "Where's Angel?" she demanded, finding her voice hoarse. The coppery tang of his blood was still in her mouth and her body ached from slamming against him. She had just been with him, but from the dull ache on her head, it wasn't going to take long to figure out how she couldn't remember getting dressed or leaving him. "He's with Spike," Giles said quietly, without quite a bit of guilt seeping into his voice. "Spit it out, Giles," she growled out and jerked in surprise when a feminine version of Angel's vampy growl came out of her throat. "S-stop with the cryptic," she rasped.

"I'm taking you back to Los Angeles, where I will be keeping you safe," Giles explained, keeping his eyes trained carefully on the road before him. "The others remained on the Hellmouth to try and take out the vampire threat formed from the Annual Meeting." "And the part where I'm chained to your car seat and have the distinct impression that I've been hit over the head with something bludgeony? Not to mention the fact that I'm sure Angel didn't just quietly sit by when you took me from him?" she snapped irritably and wiggled against her chains. "Got a key to these things?" "Certainly," Giles answered, "But I'm afraid I can't release you from your bonds. I do apologize for that, Buffy. It's not my intention to hurt you or Angel in anyway. Please believe that, however, I must keep you away from him until we can attempt to restore his mental state to something approaching normal." "Can you tell me what the hell is really going on here?" Buffy shouted, "I'm the Slayer, not some little girl that needs protecting and I think I deserve the truth." "Very well," Giles said, "But I will tell you firstly that your chains and manacles are magically enhanced and cannot be broken or released, so please do stop struggling." "Well, they pinch," she complained, "Who put these on me? Spike?" Giles cleared his throat loudly and kept his gaze away from her. He could hear the pout forming in her voice and he had to be strong. He could not release her under any circumstances. "Spike went to see the Oracles to investigate Angel's mental state and your partial vampiric state. After some research, we found what we think is the problem. We needed to separate you if we had any hope of Spike's plan to work. Of course, I was difficult to convince originally. Given that the two of you are linked together, I feared separating you two. "It seems that no vampire has been exposed to as many infusions of Slayer blood and certainly not as many times as Angel has during the time that you two have been...er...courting. It's not the same as regular human blood or animal, for that matter. The power that it has given him is too much for his mind to handle, even for a Master vampire like Angel." "What exactly is Spike doing to him?" Buffy snarled, turning a tangible fury on Giles. He risked a look at her and turned away quickly when he saw that her hazel eyes had flooded to a pure gold. He swallowed convulsively and took a deep breath. This was the tricky part to explain. *** if by chance or circumstance we fail don't be sad "Can't you people get a stake through one vamp?" Faith muttered the following dawn. They were all gathered in the living room eating bowls of cereal and looking worse for the wear, except for Faith and Gunn, who were acting like they'd been out bowling all night or something. Neither looked very tired, but pumped up instead. Willow, Xander, Cordy and Oz were leaning on their significant other and trying not to fall asleep in their Cheerios. "I hate to agree with the darker and more evil Slayer, but the slaying isn't getting any easier," Xander admitted and took a bite of his cereal. He was used to being beaten, knocked down and stomped by vampires, but the sheer numbers were more dangerous than usual. He was shocked they were all still alive. "I don't know," Oz said, shrugging, "I think we're kinda getting a rhythm down."

"Yeah, we started to do better towards the end," Willow agreed. A angry growl wafted up the stairs from the basement and she leaned closer to Oz. She trusted her magic and constantly reminded herself of that every time the insane vampire downstairs made a sound, which was almost constantly. If he got free, she really liked to believe he would just go after Buffy and leave them be, but considering she didn't trust the two more sane vamps in the house, she was having a hard time convincing herself. When Spike and Dru were considered the more sane ones, there was definitely a problem. "You guys lost one in ten," Gunn chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. Faith snorted and headed into the kitchen with her bowl. "Yeah, but... rhythmically," Oz added. He set down his cereal bowl and put a reassuring arm over Willow's shoulders. "We suck," Cordelia sighed and stood as well. Xander stood to follow her and when Gunn grinned at him, he couldn't help smiling back. *** the moon is out the stars invite After twenty-four hours and a two bottles of whiskey, Spike was thinking that he might have made a mistake. He wasn't sure why he expected Angel to change his behavior at all, but he couldn't help but have some kind of hope. Despite what an annoying good Poof Angel had always been, bitching at him for his less than wholesome behavior and fucking his Dru whenever he damn well pleased, he still wanted his Sire to live. If nothing else but to not feel guilt for the rest of his unlife about it. He tiredly stood from the narrow single bed in the corner where he and Dru had spent the previous night and tugged her off her Sire. "Stop teasing him, Dru," Spike muttered, pulling her away. He wrapped an arm around her waist and led her back to the cot where he sank back down. She turned to face him, hiked her skirt up in tune with the imaginary music she always had in her head and straddled him. "He's hungry, Spike," she whispered, "Starvin'." "He just fed off the soddin' Slayer, pet," Spike whispered back. He was annoyed that she had been itching to mount her Sire since they chained him up. He spent the night waking up every hour or so to make sure she wasn't wrapped around Angel's waist. "He's not starving. I promise you that." "Slayer blood," Dru moaned, her mouth watering at the idea, "Burns too bright. Can't hold it in. It loves to run and play, but it gets so tired. My Angel needs blood." "Fine, we'll try it," he groaned, "I'll try anything to get out of this bloody basement." Spike nudged his mate aside and tried to stand but she pushed him back and shook her head. "Blood of kin," she said softly, almost musically, "It's what raises us from the depths." *** In A Maudlin Sort of Way Part Fifteen By Tango

DEDICATION: For indie *** Tell me, tell me what you're after I just want to get there faster I don't live Angel strained against his chains, struggling to get free. Since the linking any distance from Buffy for any length of time was irritating and after a time, painful. His constant straining against the enchanted manacles was ripping the skin from his wrists, but he wouldnt stop. He had to find Buffy, had to see her with his own eyes. He knew Spike was lying. Even through his hazy mind, he knew she was still alive. Not only would his heart not accept the possibility of her death, but he knew there was a reason he shouldnt believe she was dead. If he dug far enough inside himself, he would figure it out. He was certain. In the meantime, he strained against the shackles, trying to get free. Not. Dead! he snarled out suddenly. He laughed out maniacally and felt like howling at the moon as it came to him. How could he forget the linking? Theyre lives were intimately intertwined now. Oh, look, pet, Spike said to Drusilla, walking toward Angel in his customary cocky gait. He thinks hes figured it out. Hes all fuzzy inside his head, Spike, she said, weaving back and forth with the emotion. He feels emotions. Sharp, stabbing feelings like knives in his belly. Id like to stick a knife in his bloody belly for all this bullshit, Spike snorted. He moved almost within reaching distance of his Grand Sire and took a swig of his whiskey, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Drusilla says youre hungry, mate, Spike offered with a grin. Want a taste, then? A gnashing of teeth and a roaring growl was his answer and Spike laughed drunkenly. And youre supposed to be the fancy talker of the group. All civilized like. Look at you now. Your bint is a cooling corpse and youre a growling beastie. Its like I always dreamed this would end. Spike snorted in disgust and bit his wrist, still staying just out of arms reach. He was ashamed of Angel for being so weak, angry with him for being such a poncey Nancy boy, for becoming a weakling when he was supposed to be this impervious hero. Sure, Spike made fun of him every chance he got, but the truth was, if Angel hadnt had some epiphany a hundred years ago, theyd all be dust or lying in a gutter somewhere feasting on rats. It was Angel who forced them all into a life of fealty, making them champions for the good side, instead of soulful pieces of shit, drowning in remorse for crimes they committed as demons. He was supposed to be the good one, the strong one, the one that would always be safe when nothing else was. He was a great bleeding let down, thats what he was. Spike wasnt sure why he told Angel that Buffy had died. He thought maybe it would snap him out of it, but so far all it had done was make him crazier. He should have known better. Truthfully, he was running out of ideas. Some great bloody hero he turned out to be. Angel lunged for Spikes wrist, which was welling and dripping with blood. Spike watched him for a moment, stretching toward him in almost insatiable need. He was nothing more than an animal now, wanting for blood and the sex of his mate. The vampire who stood above them all, had dropped to less than even Penns worthless ashes.

Sighing, Spike stepped forward and let his Sire drink from his wrist. Angel dug his fangs in ruthlessly, tearing a larger hole. He glutted himself on the blood, making loud sucking sounds that the great Angelus would have looked down upon. It wouldnt do to act like you were starving, even if you were, Spike remembered. Angelus was an even greater Poof than Angel when it came to appearances and niceties. He only made a mess when he had a reason. *** My daydream seems as one inside of you Though it seems hard to reach through this life Your blue and hopeless life My daydream screams bitter 'til the end Come on, Giles, Buffy complained as she sat in the living room bound to a chair with manacles enchanted with the same spell as Angels. This is really just dumb. I mean, what do you think Im gonna do if you set me free? Eat the city? Im part human, you know, and speaking from a persons perspective, youre really violating my rights here. Giles sighed. Buffy had been talking nonstop for almost an hour about the injustice of her being held captive when Spike was doing something horrible to Angel. She wasnt speculating, Giles knew. She could feel her linked mates emotions even from over a hundred miles away and he was certain Spike was doing something to Angel that he definitely did not want to know about. I dont enjoy keeping you captive Buffy, Giles said, finally, wishing for nothing but peace and quiet and for things to revert to normal. He was a fan of the ever changing world he was a part of by being Watcher to his Slayer, but in the last month, the events had far reached his patience. He was ready for a break. Then let me go. I can shower, Buffy said, giving him her best innocent girl look. Besides, sooner or later, Im gonna have to go to the bathroom and then everythings just ewww. Please? Ill be good. Certainly not, Giles objected, returning to his book. He had spent the time since they had been back in the apartment attempting to root out a way to send things back to normal and to contact Whistler, who had disappeared and never bothered to show himself again. If the Council wasnt evil, Id tell on you, Buffy pouted. Besides, how could you leave Angel with Spike? Hes hurting him. I can feel it. Buffy- Giles started, but an agonized scream from the Slayer cut his comment short. He stood from his chair, dropping his book in the process as Buffy lurched against her chains hard enough to break the chair she was chained to and go tumbling to the floor. She screamed and writhed as tears flooded her eyes. Dear Lord, Giles shouted, keeping her from hurting herself as he would an epileptic. She screamed until her throat was dry and the sounds became whimpers and rasps. Buffy, what it is? Whats wrong? Angel, she managed hoarsely. Hes dying. Theyre killing us, Giles. *** Just taste the drinks that she served And this feeling shivers down your spine Love comes in colors I can't deny All that matters is love, love, your love

Spike jumped back in horror as Angel roared in agony, yanking until his already shredded wrists seemed skinless and bloodier. He screamed and wailed, jerking uncontrollably from the streaking pain in his limbs. Whats this, pet? Spike said, turning on his mate and gesturing at Angel who roared and roared, slamming back against the concrete wall behind him. I thought that was supposed to help. He hurts all over, she said, smiling and humming. Inside and out. Through his veins to the tips of his fingers. Is he dying? Spike demanded, grabbing her shoulders firmly and pulling her to him. If he dies what happens to us, Dru? No curse, no soul, no petting of the kittens, she tranced, leaning her head on his shoulder. Drusilla, love, Spike said, shaking her a bit. Is he dying? My Angel will never die, she said, looking over at Angel serenely as if his ear splitting screams werent happening. My Angel is forever. She leaned into Spike and whispered confidently, Hes immortal, Spike. Bloody hell, woman, just tell me straight, Spike demanded, stepping away and taking another drink of his whiskey. And shut the hell up! Spike roared to Angel. If youre going to die, just be done with it! Drusilla leaned against the wall and watched her mate for a moment, pacing angrily around the room. He lit a cigarette and inhaled trying to calm down before he hurt her feelings. Angel finally stopped roaring and slumped against his chains, unconscious and the silence seemed almost louder than his screams had been before. He drank of the Slayer. He took her life, yet she lives Drusilla said calmly. Spike turned to face her and looked into lucid eyes that he seldom saw. He cocked his head and urged her to continue. He drank of that which does not exist and now he carries what cannot be. What does that mean? Spike said, trying to keep his voice gentle. The Powers cant take back what wasnt supposed to be given, Drusilla said quietly. But my Angel was confused. His body couldnt handle so much of the Slayer inside him, so you gave him kins blood to remind him not to burn. Dru, I wish I understood what the hell youre talking about, Spike said, slumping in his chair. The link twisted, Spike, she said, and now the fates are satisfied. *** The grace of falling snow Cover up everything you know Come save me from the awful sound Of nothing Finally, Whistler said, walking through Giles front door, skirting the broken wreckage of the chair and Buffys unconscious body before having a seat in one of Giles chairs. It really took you guys a long time to figure all this out. I thought itd be much quicker. Panties were seriously bunching all over on the other side.

What is going on? Giles demanded, pulling himself to his feet and shaking a fatherly finger at the pimp looking demon. You disappeared after you led us to the Hellmouth and left us with a mess of monumental proportions and now you tell me you knew the solution all along? Why werent we informed that this would happen? I cant do everything for you, Rupert, Whistler said, chuckling. What fun is that? Besides, the Powers are all prickly about what I can and cannot say since the whole future of prophecies have been changed by Wolfram & Harts meddling. They really did some quality work on this one. Yes, lets send them a thank you letter and a nice fruit basket, Giles snapped. Calm down, buddy, Whistler said, holding his hands up. I didnt do it. Giles turned around in a huff and scooped Buffy in his arms, before laying her gently on the couch. He perched on the arm of the couch and crossed his arms, looking expectantly at the demon for an explanation. The vamps werent supposed to lose their souls, but that wasnt the big deal. The Slayer losing her soul, now that was enough to freak out the good side. Then Angelus fed off the Slayer multiple times when she was a vamp, infusing himself with the biggest power source available. Her blood was so tasty, that he fed off exclusively - with a few exceptions. Basically, he overdosed. When blondie over there was turned back into mostly human again, he still had all this vamp Slayer blood in him, only technically it didnt exist anymore. That with the return of his soul, drove him batty. And? Giles prompted, What does that mean? Its kind of like a sugar high, you know? The sugar pumps you up but then your body uses it too quickly and you take a nose dive. Same idea, only this sugar doesnt exist, so metaphysically speaking the fates were confused. Angel was confused too. He didnt want the lesser priced stuff, he wanted the goods he couldnt have, so he didnt feed when he was changed. He just fed off the Slayer. Why should this be such a big deal? Giles argued, clearly uncomfortable with the idea that Buffy had been a nonstop snack for her undead boyfriend Hes missing the other food groups, Rupert. It was making him worse. Just trust me on this, Whistler demanded. Anyway, in order to balance the things that were crooked in the fate side of things, the Powers made a choice. They could let Angel keep going nuts and craving the Slayer like she was crackrock, which would mean losing one of their champions or they could use the link to step up the Shanshu prophecy. Shanshu? Giles said, scratching his head. From the prophetic scrolls of Aberjian? Yeah, Whistler said, nodding. If you took up the time to decipher the whole damn thing, theres a section that names a vamp with a soul playing an integral part in the end of days. Thats Angel. The prophecy says that if he serves on the good side, hell avert the apocalypse and when he does hell receive his gift. Shanshu, Giles said, receiving a nod from Whistler. To die? To live until he dies, Whistler explained, shrugging. It means hell be human. The problem is he cant be human before the end of days, only after. He needs to be a vamp until then, but with the screwing that Wolfram & Hart did, there wasnt a way to keep him the way he was without switching things around. They were willing to change it, but there had to be a catalyst.

The Powers always gotta be difficult. If Angel fed off a descendant of his line while linked to the Slayer, part of her humanity would bleed into him. So hes human? Giles asked in confusion. Hes immortal, not human, Whistler said. Hes gotta be alive for the End of Days and humans wont withstand what he has to go through, not to mention live until then. The Shanshu prophecy has changed. Angel has forfeited his right to ever be human because he turned the Slayerbut see, I made a tiny mistake with the linking that affected the Slayer too. What *tiny* mistake? Giles demanded angrily. The part where shes linked to Angel so neither one of them can die, Whistler said sheepishly. If Angels immortal then so is Buffy. If he cant die, then neither can she. When she bled into him, he bled into her. Theyre pretty far away from each for exchanging of fluids, huh? Oh dear, Giles said, scratching his head. She wont age? Look on the bright side, he said. No crows feet and canes. No children or normal life either, Giles said sadly. Just between you and me, Whistler said, standing up, She wasnt ever going to have those things anyway. Gotta go. More wrinkles to iron out. See ya, Rupert. Wait! Giles said. I have questions. What happens now? You guys are gonna haveta figure that out yourselves. And try not to fuck things up this time alright? Whistler said. When whats to come changes, it gives me a hell of a headache. *** 50 Years Later *** My love I send this smile over to you Disarm you with a smile Buffy walked behind Angel carrying a picnic basket as they headed into their house in Los Angeles. She grinned. He was adorable in his baseball cap and jeans with five year old Janna Osborne, Willow & Ozs great grandchild, hanging over one shoulder, her long red locks swinging with his movements. Holding his hand and doing his best attempt to walk without stumbling was two year old Eric Giles, great-great grandchild of Rupert Giles, who had died twenty years earlier of a heart attack. Buffy smiled at them with a twinge of sadness. She wished she could have had her own children, Angels children, that they were the ones holding his hand and drooling on his shoulder, but she wouldnt have traded the past fifty years for anything. She was thankful for the time she was given without being a demon and most importantly without Angel being a demon. After so long being a vampire, he took great pleasure in little things like eating dinner or watching a sunrise or even walking in the park with her. For years the daytime was an exploration with Angel. He taught her not to take things for granted and it was a lesson she tried not to forget.

A frustrated huff behind her and the slamming of a car door broke her out of her reverie. She turned around to see her sixteen year old adopted daughter beginning to stomp up the sidewalk with her backpack slug over her shoulder. Darryl, Buffy warned, narrowing her eyes. Stop it right now. Youll wake up Janna. So what? Darryl growled out. She definitely resembled Angel in looks and in moods, even if she wasnt their biological child. She could brood with the best of them. I cant believe you made us leave. Youll see that boy in school on Monday, Buffy said, with a sigh. The kids were tired. Theyre not even ours. Why cant their own parents drag them around? Theyre our family, Buffy said, ruffling her hair. Now if you help me clean up, Ill get your father to take you to the mall later, alright? Really? she said brightening. Will he pick up Xander too? Buffy groaned. Sweetie, your father likes Xander the third even less than he liked Xander the first. And I think he might be a bad influence on you. Mo-om. Come on, she whined, crossing her arms over her chest. Ask your father, Buffy said, refusing to get in the middle of it, And dont say that I said it was okay, cause thats not what I said. Never works anyway, Darryl fumed. You guys can read each others minds. Were only telepathic sometimes, Buffy objected. When it matters you are, Darryl said, stomping into the house. Yeah, Buffy said, grinning freely as she watched her daughter stomp toward the house. They were always telepathic when it mattered. Angel unlocked the front door and swung it open just in time for his daughter to stomp past him and he turned to Buffy and winked. There was no way he was going to pick up Xander on the way to the mall. Buffy laughed. *** Buffy was already in bed at midnight when Angel came home from picking up Darryl and ended up bringing home three giggling girls for an impromptu slumber party. He shed his clothes and crawled into bed, purposely waking up his sleeping wife with all the noise he was making. I thought you loved me, Angel groaned, feeling every minute of his of 292 years. I do, she said, smiling as he pulled her closely against him. You made me go to the mall, he grunted. You obviously do not love me nearly enough. I was looking out for myself. Despite the great shape Im in for being almost 70 years old, a day at the park with the kids tires me out more than a nest of vampires and a band of Fyarl demons, Buffy said, laughing.

I know what else will tire you out, Angel said, in a low predatory voice. He shifted Buffy onto her back and crouched over her, nipping little kisses along her neck. She urged him down on top of her, opening to create a cradle for his hips. He groaned when he came in contact with her bare skin and thanked the Powers that Buffy still slept naked. He moved to her breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. Buffy moaned, arching against his mouth. Youve been thinking naughty thoughts all day, she moaned, threading her fingers through his hair. I think naughty thoughts all day every day, Angel murmured, switching to take her neglected nipple between his lips. All these years, Buffy mused, tugging him up to her mouth for a kiss, its hard to believe you still want me as much as you did when we met. I want you more than when we met, he said, sliding into her slick heat effortlessly. Most days he was certain she was made just for him, to perfectly fit him. Before I didnt know what I was missing, now I do. I love you, Buffy. I love you too, she returned, rising up to meet his thrusts. He reached in between them and easily found her little nub, massaging it in time with his movements. He loved, more than almost anything else, to feel her climax while hes inside her. The flutter of her inner muscles, the expression on her face, the way she panted his name in pleasure was worth going insane for fifty years before. It was worth losing his soul. It was worth almost anything. As his bonded consort and his legal wife, he loved her more now that he had ever thought possible. He buried his face in her neck and sucked on the scar that he marked her with so long ago, laving the raised flesh with his tongue. Then with a growl, he buried his fangs in her neck, breaking the scar once again and suckling there. With an answering feminine growl, Buffy, too, sank her fangs into his throat. With twin cries of pleasure, they climaxed together, madly thrusting against each other. Angel rested against her breast, taking a deep panting breaths and listened to her heartbeat as he recovered. Fuck, he groaned a few moments later when he rolled over onto his back and took her along with him. What do two adrenaline charged partial vampires do in the middle of the night? Buffy teased, straddling his waist. Do we stay here and take advantage of each other or go out for a quick patrol? Fuck patrol, Angel said, pulling her hips down. After all these years of fighting and patrolling, I think we deserve a night off. We took off on Monday too, Buffy reminded him, giggling. A weeks a long time, Angel growled, pulling her down to his lips. *** The End! I really hope you liked it!. *G*