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History of Guidance (International) This is where counseling steps in.

The history of school of counseling leads back to the 20th century. The foundations of counseling and guidance principles could possibly be traced from ancient Greece and Rome with the philosophical teachings of Plato and Aristotle. Even some of the techniques and skills of modern-day guidance counselors were practiced by Catholic priests in the Middle Ages, 1909 Boston Vocationi Bureau helped outline a system of vocational guicance in the Boston public schools (US). 1918Vocational guidance spread throughout with more than 900 hish schools in the US. 1964- the American School Course Association (ASCA) was formed. 1981Accreditatoin of Counseling program begins. 1998- American Vocational Asociation renamed Association for Career and Technical Education 2001No child left behind policy (NCLB-UD) 2002 PACERSaccreit 165 counseling programs (132 schools)

Functions of guidance Help an individual continue to search for his SELF-SATISFACTORY. Discovering the potential strength and weaknesses. Guidance covers a variety of services to meet the pressing reality. Functions of Guidance According to TIM, Guidance and Counseling (1994,2004) Understanding Function-- understanding that includes: Students understanding of self Students understanding of environment Prevention Function Repair Function Maintenance and Development Function Adaptation Function Adjustment Function Principle of guidance PRINCIPLE - originated from Latin word Principium which means Source -it means a fundamental truth or proposition serving as the foundation for belief or action. -it means a rule or belief governing ones personal behavior in different situation. Principle of guidance -it means what are the fundamental sources or basis on which guidance should be provided.

PACERS history Through these years, PACERS has remained and continues to be an advocate of professionalism among counselors 1970ssponsoship of falks on homeroom guidance, current trends in counseling, social effectiveness training and reality therapy 1980sthe historic EDSA revolution put a halt to the plans and preparations for the annual conference-workshop. The officers conveed to reexamine PACERS focus and drection in keepin with the countrys post revolution call for rehabilitation and reconciliation. 1990sworkshops introdcued intervention strategies to help or regain family wholeness. 2000 and onwardsPACERS ventured out to the provinces. The Board formed as working think-tank group called P-Group composed of young energetics and innoveative counselors.

Different types of guidance assistance 1. Educational Guidance

School counseling extends its hands to troubled students. It offers them a safey ground where not only support and assistance is wholeheartedly given out in their best interess, but also, a lending ear druing times when no one might listen.

-Develop the ability of co-ordinating with the school environment in the pupils to create necessary awareness and sensitivity. According to Jones, Educational Guidance is concerned with assistance to be provided to the pupils which is expected for their adjustments in the schools, selection of curricula and school like. Objectives To acquaint the students with the prescribed curriculum. To identify the academically gifted, backward, creative and other category of special learners. To assist students in getting information about further education. To diagnose the learning difficulties of students and help them overcome the same.

2.

Vocational Guidance

-It assists the individual to adjust with psychological & social environment. It is to solve the emotional & psychological problems. Economic and Health guidance also can called personal guidance. Nature : It is concerned with social and civil activities. It deals with health and physical activities. It helps in worthy use of leisure time & character building activities.

-The assistance given to students in choosing and preparing for a suitable vocation. It is concerned primarily with helping individuals make decision and choices involved in planning future and a career decision and choices necessary in effecting satisfactory vocational adjustment. According to Crow and Crow Vocational Guidance usually is interpreted as the assistance given to the learners to choose, prepare for and progress in an occupation. According to Myers, Vocational Guidance is the process of assisting the individual to do for himself certain definite things pertaining to his vocation. Objectives

4. Economic Guidance 5. Health Guidance

Organization And Administration Of Guidance


General principles and administration of guidance Guidance and guidance services should grow out of the interest, needs and purposes of the school child Guidance should be continuous and should serve all. Guidance should be concerned with the whole individual in his total environment, but with specific needs and problems. Guidance should provide for all phases of pupils problem A guidance program should provide for trained personnel and specialist Guidance should provide for securing and recording adequate information. Guidance should provide for leadership and for cooperation among the home, school and community Guidance should be simple and comprehensible to the parents, the child himself, and the community Concepts in organizing a program Purposes to be achieved Functions to be served Allocation of responsibilities and areas of authority Appraisal of the program Factors in considering guidance program in school Age at school level To know the needs of children in specific ages Size of the school The number of quality of personnel and the extent of available facilities are dependent of the number of students enrolled. Available facilities Availability of tools and equipments and trained qualified personnel. Attitude towards guidance The importance of guidance should be recognized by all in order that a workable guidance program can be effected

Assisting the students to acquire such knowledge of the characteristics and functions, duties, responsibilities and rewards of occupations that are within the range of this choice. Assisting a pupil to discover his own abilities and skills and to fit them into general requirements of the occupation under consideration.

Assisting the pupil to evaluate his own capabilities and interests with regard to their worth to him and to society. Helping the individual develop an attitude towards work that will whatever type of occupation he may wish to enter. dignify

Give exploration opportunity in different areas of school learning and vocational exploration that will enable the learner to get the feel of several types of activities. Assisting the individual to think critically about types of his work competently.

3.

Personal Guidance

Forms or types of organization 1. NON CENTRALIZED ORGANIZATION 2. There is a little or no coordination among the teachers and administrators. This form of guidance has little of no system, one might say, because there is much overlapping of authority and of responsibility 5.

He make and follow up case studies, assist teachers together with counselor. Prepares materials for occupational information, assists the librarian in securing guidance material and secures the help of the dean, psychiatrist, psychologist , parents and civic organizations.

SPECIALIST Compose of health personnels

CENTRALIZED GUIDANCE PROGRAM/ORGANIZATION Usually under that charge of a guidance expert who can be effectively secure the cooperation and coordination of all concerned with the administration. It s advantage is that there is no duplication of efforts in helping an individual toward self development. It consist of persons who devote time for planning and thinking functions of the organization commonly compose of president, superintendent, director, dean , guidance coordinator and counselor 6.

LIBRARIAN Help young people find reference materials, thus coming to know them intimately Can give great assistance to the pupils in meeting problems of pupiladjustment, in the absence of someone in who they confide their problems, difficulties and frustrations.

7.

PARENTS First factor of influence in a childs life is the home. Thus, close cooperation between principal or dean and teachers on one hand and the parents on the others should be achieved.

Guidance personnel 1. CHAIRMAN 2. Is better known as the educational administrator or dean, the educational officer responsible for the management or direction of some parts of an educational establishment system Typically, it includes such officer as college presidents, school superintendents and principal 8.

COMMUNITY Most important resource for guidance. Local civic, professional, health and welfare agencies like the rotary club have rendered valuable cooperation with the school carrying out the guidance program.

GUIDANCE PROGRAM IN AN INDUSTRY Departments are entitles organizations form to organize people , reporting, relationship and work in a way that best supports the accomplishment of the organizations goals Human Resource It is a set of individuals who make up the workforce an organization business sector or the economy Human resource department It serves as the guidance in industry, their rules and regulations in human resource department are their guidance program EMPLOYEE RELATION It measures the attitudes and skills of employee under managemen

HOMEROOM AND CLASSROOM TEACHERS Under the direct supervision of a teacher known as the homeroom sponsor and which serves as a second home to the pupils assigned to it for purposes of guidance and for the administration of certain school activities. Aim to develop pupil-teacher relationships.

3.

TEACHER COUNSELOR The pivotal point which all guidance services must revolve if desired outcomes are to be achieved Serves as guidance of pupils behavior and attitudes

4.

COORDINATORS AND COUNSELORS He has administrative responsibility by rendering service to staff members. He helps coordinate the guidance services between the administrator and staff members

PROGRESSIVE DISCIPLINE Methods use in documenting efforts to modify the behavior and in more serious situations. Goals of progressive discipline Inform the employee of inadequacies of performance or instances of improper behavior Clarify what constitutes satisfactory performance behavior Instruct the employee on action needed to correct the performance Inform employee what action will be taken in future if expectations are not meant. Levels of disciplinary action Oral Warning Written Warning Suspension Discharge Guidance administration An actual or supposed circumstances regarded as just cause for complaint Are appropriate vehicles for bringing problems to attention of supervision PURPOSE Provide an orderly mechanism through which employees may challenge policy interpretations or disciplinary action HRM diagnostic checklist a. Culture

c.

People

Do your staff have the necessary skills and knowledge to perform their jobs in the most effective manner? Do your staff have customer service orientation? Are people with potential spotted and developed for the future? d. System

Do your organization system such as promotion planning management information and control encourage effective performance among your staff? Are these system consistent across the organization? Are there clear rewards for effective performance within your work group? Organization of guidance in government Public Employment Service Office or PESO The Public Employment Service Office or PESO is a non-fee charging multiemployment service facility or entity established or accredited pursuant to Republic Act No. 8759 otherwise known as the PESO Act of 1999. To carry out full employment and equality of employment opportunities for all, and for this purpose, to strengthen and expand the existing employment facilitation service machinery of the government particularly at the local levels there shall be established in all capital towns of provinces, key cities, and other strategic areas a Public Employment Service Office

Do your staff identify the organization and the success of the organization as being of direct of benefit for themselves? Do your staff see themselves as having common interest with work colleagues and group? Are there sufficient skills/ power bases in the organization? b. Organization

General Objective:
a. Ensure the prompt, timely and efficient delivery of employment service and provision of information on the other DOLE programs.

Specific Objectives:
1. 2. Provide a venue where people could explore simultaneously various employment options and actually seek assistance they prefer; Serve as referral and information center for the various services and programs of DOLE and other government agencies present in the area; Provide clients with adequate information on employment and labor market situation in the area; and Network with other PESOs within the region on employment for job exchange purposes.

Does the structure of your organization encourage effective performance? Do your staff have clear roles of responsibilities? Do your procedures and management practices facilitate the accomplishment of tasks?

3. 4.

Functions 1. Encourage employers to submit to the PESO on a regular basis a list of job vacancies in their respective establishments in order to facilitate the exchange of labor market information services to job seekers and employers by providing employment services to job seeker, both for local and overseas employment, and recruitment assistance to employers; Develop and administer testing and evaluation instruments for effective job selection, training and counseling; provide persons with entrepreneurship qualities access to the various livelihood and self-employment programs Undertake employability enhancement trainings/seminar for jobseekers as well as those would like to change career or enhance their employability Provide employment and occupational counseling, career guidance, mass motivation and values development activities; Conduct pre-employment counseling and orientation to prospective local and overseas workers Provide reintegration assistance services to returning Filipino migrant workers Perform such functions as willfully carry out the objectives of this Act

Guidance services 1. Information

2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

This refers to the intentional and purposive delivery of information to students; the primary purpose of which is to enable students to use said information to reasonably guide their choices and actions inside and outside of the University. 2. Counseling services

Heart and soul of the guidance program This service aims to assist students in gaining deeper self-understanding and awareness of ones problems and the effective use of the decision process by formulating alternatives and projecting consequences of each that allow students to review critically what has taken place. 3. Testing services

Different Guidance Services


Guidance (Oxford Dictionary) Advice or information to solve a Problem. It aimed at helping an individual and confined to definite areas of assistance, personnel work includes concern for the welfare of an individual in all areas of experience. It is a group of services to individuals to assist them in securing knowledge and skills needed in making plans and devices, and in interpreting life. This refers to a comprehensive and developmental program of services directly implemented by the Office of Student Affairs and Student Services.

Test provides information in meaningful terms through quantitative description. These services cover the administration, scoring, interpreting and evaluating results of selected test such as: - Interest test - Personality test -Special Test 4. Student inventory record

History of guidance services Frank parson Adolf meyer

This is a continuous process of accumulating, recording and utilizing the information n each student for guiding and counseling purposes and obtaining a complete picture of the individual. 5. Training seminar forum

Objectives 1. 2. 3. To organize a fully functional counseling and testing center that would cater to the students and other members of the institution. To promote the services of the Guidance Center to the students, faculty members and employees of the Institution. To establish a catharsis center where feelings in full confidentially.

These are programs designed to help students discover their innate ability and talents as well as develop their emotional intelligence. 6. Placement and career services

Graduating students are being prepared by the series of career talks by experts in the different field of occupational endeavors.

7.

Research services

Researches help bridge the gap that currently exists between theories and practice in counseling. Result of the findings in research will serve guideposts for guidance and educational planning. 8. Freshmen enhancement program

Frank Parsons assisted the industrial revolution by establishing vocational guidance programs Jesse Davis and Eli Weaver established early guidance programs in schools Russians they launched Sputnik which led to the creation of the National Defense Education Act (NDEA) which authorized training of counselors to provide guidance in schools Clifford Beers in 1908 published A Mind that Found Itself which detailed harsh treatment of patients at psychiatric institutions. It led to the mental hygiene movement. The three schools are Psychoanalytical, Behaviorist, and Humanistic which we will look at later in this guide. Counseling is a cooperative process. Counseling Websters Dictionary defines counseling as Consultation, mutual interchange of opinions; deliberating together. Clarence Dunsmoor as an interview or conference between pupil and a member of the school staff with whom he has a guidance relationship, for the purpose of considering some of his problems and a desirable course of action. Arthur Coombs defined it as an attempt to aid the individual by assisting him to a reorganization of attitudes, feelings and emotions, such that he can make optional use of his abilities and physical endowments. Williamson defined it as a means of helping people to learn how to solve their own problems. Carl Rogers said that it is a definitely structured relationship which allows the client to gain an understanding to himself to a degree which enables him to take positive steps in the light of his new orientation. Jones believes that counseling is an activity in which all facts are gathered and focused on the particular problem of the counselee who is then given direct and personal help. Wren, involves a personal relationship between two individuals, one of whom is older, more experienced, and wiser than the other; and together, approach a problem of the younger, less experienced and less wise, with mutual respect and consideration for each other in order that the problem can be more clear, and the one who has the problem can be helped towards its solution.

Is a package of activities for freshmen designed to facilitate adjustment into college life, enhance self-awareness and understanding, and develop the basic skills n coping effectively with rigors of academic life. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. Orientation and Information Referral Linkages Extension Services Peer Facilitation

The Counseling Process


To understand the history of counseling.. Human beings have found comfort in sharing their problems or telling their story to others. The old saying a problem shared is a problem halved Counseling history can be traced back to tribal times when share their experiences, and sometimes their dreams. As civilization developed, religion offered a type of counseling, usually by priests who would listen and advise parishioners on their problems. In the 1890s Sigmund Freud, a German neurologist developed a theory later to be called psychoanalysis. Psychoanalyst - an individual trained in interpreting the subconscious Counseling really took off after the Second World War, in 1950s America, Most of the therapies we hear about today can trace their origins back to a handful of psychologists and psychiatrists (some of whom we will look at in this guide) who developed techniques and theories, sometimes referred to as Schools of therapy. Important people through history Carl Rogers developed client centered technique which changed therapy

In the school, counseling may occur during a heart-to-heart talk between teacher and pupil. Elsewhere, it is talking over a problem with someone. The process itself, In its entirety, counseling is an educative process. Counseling is Confidential and non-judgmental The process that occurs when a client and counselor set aside time. The act of helping the client to see things more clearly, possibly from a different view-point. Atmosphere of Acceptance, Respect and Trust.

Self- awareness. Self Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. Self Awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment. Self disclosure Is revealing to another person how one is reacting to the present situation, and giving any information about the past that is relevant to understand his present reaction. Theories a. Psychosocial b. Psychoanalytic

Counseling is not Giving advice. Judgmental. Attempting to sort out the problems of the client. Expecting or encouraging a client to behave in a way in which the counselor may have behaved when confronted with a similar problem in their own life. Getting emotionally involved with the client. Looking at a client's problems from your own perspective, based on your own value system.

The id (or it)


The id consists of all the inherited (i.e. biological) components of personality, including the sex (life) instinct Eros(which contains the libido), and aggressive (death) instinct - Thanatos. The id is the impulsive (and unconscious) part of our psyche which responds directly and immediately to the instincts. The personality of the newborn child is all id and only later does it develop ego and super-ego. The id demands immediate satisfaction and when this happens we experience pleasure, when it is denied we experience unpleasure or pain. The id is not affected by reality, logic or the everyday world. On the contrary, it operates on the pleasure principle (Freud, 1920) which is the idea that every wishful impulse should be satisfied immediately, regardless of the consequences.

The counseling process is a continuous, cyclical model in which the counselor and client collaboratively set goals, formulate actions plans, and assess progress toward the goal(s). Throughout the process new information is integrated, the counselorclient relationship is developed, and progress toward counseling goals is reassessed. Guidance and Cousneling Act of 2004 RA 9258 This Law basically state that No person shall engage in the practice of guidance and counseling without a valid Certificate of Registration and a valid Professional Identification Card or a Special Permit and that No corporation, partnership, association or entity shall operate a guidance and counseling office, center/clinic, testing center, rehabilitation center, or otherwise engage in the practice of guidance and counseling without first securing a permit from the Board. The permit shall be issued only after it has satisfied the Board that such establishment is properly staffed by duly Registered and Licensed Guidance Counselors.

The Ego (or I)


Initially the ego is that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external world (Freud 1923). The ego develops in order to mediate between the unrealistic id and the external real world. Ideally the ego works by reason whereas the id is chaotic and totally unreasonable. The ego operates according to the reality principle, working our realistic ways of satisfying the ids demands, often compromising or postponing satisfaction.

Like the id, the ego seeks pleasure and avoids pain but unlike the id the ego is concerned with devising a realistic strategy to obtain pleasure. Freud made the analogy of the id being the horse while the ego is the rider. Often the ego is weak relative to the head-strong id and the best the ego can do is stay on, pointing the id in the right direction and claiming some credit at the end as if the action were its own. The ego has no concept of right or wrong; something is good simply if it achieves its end of satisfying without causing harm to itself or to the id.

Openness to deep relationship A person who lives in an island will never be able to come to a full knowledge of himself. Sincerity and truthfulness in relationship A relationship that is without deceit and pretenses is so assuring.
HOME, FAMILY, AND SOCIAL ADJUSTMENTS The environments of different individuals are very much different from one another and so also their effects, but the influence of environment on personality can roughly be divided into home, school and society. All these three play an important part in the development of personality. Home Family is the first one responsible for molding our personality. In the family, relation of child with the parent is the most intimate. The cultural development of the child is very much influenced by the behavior of the parents. Functions of family 1. Biological reproduction of the next generation 2. The status placement of the child 3. Maintenance of the child 4. Childs training of socialization 5. Provision of social control School An institution designed for teaching of students. School helps each and every individual to develop more their personality under the direction of teachers. The personality of the teacher and his behavior towards the child both exercise important influence on childs personality. The child tends to identify himself with the teacher and tries to imitate his ways, manners and personality traits. Society Society is a web of social relationship. These social relationships connect men and women with one another. These interpersonal relationships influence mold the personality of an individual.

The Superego (or above I)


The superego incorporates the values and morals of society which are learned from one's parents and others. It develops around the age of 4 5 during the phallic stage of psychosexual development. The superego's function is to control the id's impulses, especially those which society forbids, such as sex and aggression. It also has the function of persuading the ego to turn to moralistic goals rather than simply realistic ones and to strive for perfection. The superego consists of two systems: The conscience and the ideal self. The conscience can punish the ego through causing feelings of guilt. For example, if the ego gives in to id demands, the superego may make the person feel bad though guilt. The ideal self (or ego-ideal) is an imaginary picture of how you ought to be, and represents career aspirations, how to treat other people, and how to behavior as a member of society. Behavior which falls short of the ideal self may be punished by the superego through guilt. The super-ego can also reward us through the ideal self when we behave properly by making us feel proud. If a persons ideal self is too high a standard, then whatever the person does will represent failure. The ideal self and conscience are largely determined in childhood from parental values and you were brought up.

Appreciation A person who has accepted himself and others is able to be patient with human weakness that he sees in himself and others. A peer counselor should be able to appreciate himself, as he becomes conscious of the good that is in himself he begins to be more sensitive to the goodness that is in others.

Adjustment It is a variation in personality, performance, or each by someone regarding the realized requirement or longing for modification. Change might arrive via commanded exterior predicaments or via a comprehension of the required new and exciting method of operating. Change or tweaking of performance is an objective of therapeutic intervention. It is an alteration so as to correspond to a customary level. It is the level of balance or tranquility joining people and their surroundings or climate It is the manner of fixing or comprising- being and developing ,irregular, or unforeseen circumstances. Home Adjustments OFW PARENTS The Overseas Filipino Worker phenomenon is a vital and growing sector of the Filipino society. Labor Migration started during 1974, and has not stopped since (Ortigas, 2008). While 3.8 million Filipinos the total labor force are working abroad as temporary migrants. While millions of children in the developing world grow up with at least one parent living abroad (Cortes, 2011). It is emotionally and physically challenging for the children to accept that their family set-up is not the same with other families. But as the child matures, he begins to understand the rationale why the parent has to work abroad and is able to get back on track and take on the responsibility of managing their household and family life on their own. DIVORCED OR SEPARATED PARENTS Many studies have reported that children of divorced parents experience more problems in adjustment than children who grow up in intact families. Much of the research suggests that children of divorce are more likely to have more difficulties in school and to be more sexually active, more aggressive, more anxious, more withdrawn, less prosocial, more depressed, and more likely to abuse substances and participate in delinquent acts than their peers from intact families. Some researchers have suggested that the economic hardship custodial parents face following divorce is the critical factor in predicting children's post-divorce adjustment. Dramatic losses in income contribute to additional life stresses such as moving to a

smaller residence in neighborhoods with increased crime, lower quality schools, and loss of familiar and developed community supports. Recommendations Use effective parenting by providing encouragement and emotional support, establishing and explaining standards for conduct, and administering consistent discipline. Maintain a feeling of closeness with your teen, use effective parental monitoring, allow them to make decisions with you regarding their activitiesaim for low parent-child conflict, and strive for organization and predictable routines in your household. Reduce inter-parental conflict. If possible, cooperatively parent with your child's other parent. Speak positively about your child's other parent in front of the child and do not place the child in the middle. For example, having your child spy on the other parent or using visitation rights as a bargaining tool undermines the confidence your child has with the other parent and strains his or her emotional well-being. Continue to be a parent to your child rather than turning into a friend. Be aware of your adjustment or becoming depressed. Seek help from professionals if you need it. The father needs to participate in important activities like forming morals, helping to solve problems, enforcing consistent discipline, and reinforcing appropriate behavior. DEATH OF A FAMILY MEMBER Research suggests that bereaved children are a vulnerable population, at increased risk for social impairment and psychopathology (Baker, Sedney, & Gross, 1992). Multiple factors have been cited in the literature as possibly contributing to childrens adjustment to a loss. These factors include bereaved childs age, gender, connection to the deceased, adjustment of the surviving parent, circumstances related to death, siblings,participation in intervention, and participation in rituals such as funerals and visiting the grave (Cerel, Fristad, Weller, & Weller, 2000). Denial While denial is an actual stage of the grieving process, it's also an important coping mechanism as well, according to MayoClinic.com. Denial softens the blow of the initial news. When reality becomes too painful and overwhelming, denial is the first coping mechanism that naturally occurs in order to protect you. While you may think denial is unhealthy, it's actually an important first step to the grieving and coping process. Denial is fine as long as it isn't causing physical or mental harm.

Support Finding support through family, friends and even medical professionals can help you through a difficult time, especially if you're feeling angry and hopeless about your condition or the death of a loved one. Talking to your family members about how you feel, or joining a support group with people who have gone through a similar situation can help you talk things out. The American Cancer Society recommends bereavement counseling to help you adjust to your new way of life, if necessary. Expression Expressing your feelings of grief, no matter what stage you're in, can help you work through your feelings. While talking to someone can help you express yourself, so can forms of art. Try writing down your feelings, or creating a work of art to express yourself. Expression can be a powerful coping mechanism as it allows you to externalize the emotions, fears, sadness and eventual acceptance that you feel throughout the grieving process, says the University of Iowa University Counseling Service. Faith Your faith can be a powerful coping mechanism, especially when dealing with death and dying. Depending on your faith and religion, you may believe in an afterlife, heavenly rewards and a comforting peace. HelpGuide.org notes that spiritual activities like praying, visiting a church or temple or meditating can help you work through your grief in a healthy way. Grief can also make you question your faith, so it's a good time to talk to a clergyman or even research other religions. Time Sometimes, the most effective coping mechanism is time: time to heal the wounds of grief and time to resolve your feelings and emotions. There is no time limit on the grief process. For some, it will take weeks and months, for others, years. Giving yourself ample time to grieve, and knowing that it's time well spent can help you realize the value of grief and sadness and look forward to a time when it isn't the most important emotion in your life. DYSFUCTIONAL FAMILY Family dysfunction can be any condition that interferes with healthy family functioning Deficient parents -- having mental illness or a disabling physical illness contributes to parental inadequacy Controlling parents fail to allow their children to assume responsibilities for their age. Alcoholic parents family tends to be disorganized. Family members tend to keep problems as a secret. Abusive parents parents that are verbally, physically, and sexually abusive

Dealing with

Dysfuctional Family Get help! Learn to identify and express emotions Allow yourself to be angry to what happened Begin the work of learning to trust others Taking good care of yourself Begin to change your relationship with your family

Sibling rivalry Parents probably can't eliminate the cause or treat the reasons for sibling rivalry, but there are some coping skills and parenting techniques we can develop and hone to help reduce the squabbles and keep the peace (at least, occasionally!) 1. Listen and acknowledge everyone's feelings - Being heard and comfortable to express how he or she is feeling will help your child "get out" the anger and frustration felt toward a sibling. When children are younger, they often fight for a parent's attention and by taking time to sit and listen actively (and impartially), your child will know that he is heard and respected and that all feelings are normal. A parent can use her best "active listening" skills and say "I know you are angry that Suzy came into your room without your permission. I hear how frustrated you are." 2. Try not to get in the middle - If I was paid by the hour for the time I've spent being sucked into playing referee in my children's heated arguments, I could have saved enough for a nice vacation! I finally learned that acting as referee or mediator did not help settle anything and really prolonged arguments and disagreements. Unless safety is an issue, let children learn to work things out for themselves. If you must get involved, try to be as impartial and detached as possible. 3. Siblings don't have to be together all the time - just because your kids are related to each other, does not mean they need to be together all the time. You kids may go in phases - one day they seem to be best buddies, and others they are fighting like cats and dogs. Give them a chance to do things separately, especially if they are having a lot of conflicts. Sometimes "going their separate ways" really is the best way to handle strained relations. By encouraging and helping your children to develop interests and friends outside the family, there will be less pressure on the sibling relationship. 4. Boredom exacerbates conflict - By keeping kids busy and active with projects, activities and a daily schedule, they will be less likely to fight. This is why siblings tend to argue while on summer vacation or over long breaks - they're bored and discontent and look around for something exciting and interesting to do, there's brother across the room. The next thing you know, they are locked in some drama. Try to keep kids involved, using distraction and redirection are perfectly fine ways to break up a squabble. 5. Expect sibling rivalry and set very specific house rules about what behavior is acceptable and what is not. That way you can respond to the behavior infractions and not the fighting. For instance, violence and hitting should definitely be out.

Instead of getting caught up in the battle, you can simply say "We don't hit in this family" and respond to the behavior in question. The truth is, children will disagree and we learn a lot about who we are and how to behave in a relationship from our sibling interactions. Over time, your children will form attachments and relationships with each other that will exist completely separate from their parents. If we parents have realistic expectations of the tumultuous relationship between siblings, we'll be less likely to overreact of thing there is something abnormal about the squabbles. With realistic expectations, we can set simple house rules to govern behavior and try to be as impartial and give each of our children as much positive attention as possible.

Tip #4 Manage Stress College is stressful, and for a beginning freshman it might be overwhelming. However, manage your stress by working out, practicing yoga, deep breathing, or any other method you find helpful. When you are not stressed out you will be able to adjust to college life and accept all of the new ways of doing things. However, if you stay stressed out it will impact your grades as well as your health. Tip #5 Stay Focused Because college can be so much fun, it might be difficult to stay focused on your work. However, remember why you are at college in the first place. You want to get a degree and ultimately a good job. So, focus on your major and where you want to go in your life more than where the best party is this weekend. You can still look for extracurricular activities, but keep your mind focused on your work more. Tip #6 Attend Every Class Class attendance in college is not the same as high school, not by a long shot. Many times attendance is not even taken, so it is easy to skip class for more exciting things. However, if you dont go to class you will find it difficult to learn what you need to for the exams and papers, and may miss pop quizzes. As a result, you should attend every class unless you are seriously ill. In the event you must miss a class, let your professor know why and ask if you can get the notes. Tip #7 Look on the Bright Side You need to always keep a positive attitude when it comes to adjusting to college life. It truly is difficult to always look on the bright side when your entire life has changed and you are not quite sure what to make of it. However, look at college as an adventure and each new day providing something new. This should help you keep your chin up. Tip #8 Party! College is known for partying and while you dont want to get bogged down in the party scene, you do want to party a little. You are following all of the above tips to help you adjust to college, so you can party on the weekends after you have finished your homework and simply enjoy hanging out with friends and meeting new people. Tip #9 Communicate Remember, college is a time when you will meet many new people that may have completely different views than your own, and you may end up living with one. As a result, make sure you always communicate openly and honestly about your feelings while respecting other people as well. Dont let others take advantage of you by communicating openly.

School adjustments First-day-of school anxiety Adjusting to College Life\ Tips for Settling In to College Quickly and Easily Adjusting to college life can be very difficult for students because everything is new and different. However, students who consider the following tips will certainly be better prepared for college life and will adjust quickly and easily. Tip #1 Get Involved There are many activities on campus, so go ahead and get involved! Dont wait, either. Go ahead and get involved your first week of your freshman year. This will allow you to meet friends, be part of a social group as well as making a difference in the university, and you will have a healthier attitude regarding college altogether. So, check out the different activities available at your university. Tip #2 Stay on Campus Many college freshman are afraid to stay on campus because dorms are small and the food isnt like moms home cooking. However, staying on campus is an important way to adjust to college life. You will have a roommate, meet new friends, have an instant support group, and learn a lot about yourself as well as others. In addition, when you stay on campus you are close to all campus activities, parties, the library, and extracurricular activities. Tip #3 Eat and Sleep Regularly Adjusting to college life can take a lot out of you because of the new class schedules, studying, and having to figure out how to handle it on your own. Because of this it is very important to eat and sleep on a schedule. Make sure you eat three healthy meals a day, sleep at least eight hours a night, and you will feel happier and healthier and better able to adjust to college life.

When you follow these suggestions you will certainly adapt to college life quickly, easily and without needing a lot of time to settle in. You will be off and running and should consider theses tips as your success guide for settling into college Social adjustments Culture shock What: Culture shock is the holistic reaction to displacement from ones familiar environment. Suddenly, you find yourself unable to understand, communicate, and function effectively. Common symptoms of culture shock include: Feelings of frustration, loneliness confusion, melancholy, irritability, insecurity, and helplessness Unstable temperament and hostility Paranoia Criticism of local people, culture, and customs Excessive concern over drinking water, food dishes, and bedding Fear of physical contact with locals Oversensitivity and overreaction to minor difficulties Changes in eating and sleeping habits Loss of sense of humor Coping up with culture shock Remember that everyone gets culture shock Address your basic need first Learn what you need to know Adjust your expectations Find new favorites Make your home sanctuary Nurture your self-esteem Avoid negative people share

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