not close enough or long enough for her to be admitted and the hospital had done what they could. They tucked her up in bed beside me and I spent the rest of the night applying heat packs and massaging her back while her husband got some sleep and her mother-in-law lay on the beanbag timing contractions. By morning, we were out of the prescription-only pain tablets, still only in early-labour and knowing she would need to physically visit the hospital to get more. Ashley and his sister went to the chemist to see what they could get over the counter to tide her through. Her mother-in-law had gone home for a while. I rang our chiropractor about her back pain and he planned to visit her at 11.30am to offer some relief. At 9.30, her waters broke! Putting aside the now-unneeded pain tablets, we headed off for our fourth (and final!) trip to the hospital and she was admitted. Exhausted from lack of sleep and contractions for almost 48 hours, she was desperate to get into the bath for her planned water birth. I asked what she wanted to wear, she declared NOTHING! She stepped out of her clothes and into the water. Almost instantly, the water calmed her. Over the next six hours, she laboured almost silently in the water, using the gas when she had a contraction but mostly floating blissfully and dozing between contractions. Her midwife was only needed for observation and we chatted about birth, breastfeeding and more. Ashley poured water over his wifes belly. I stroked her hair and cycled cold wet face washers around her face, neck and head until they became warm. The midwife handed over at 3.30pm, said her goodbyes and went home to dream about the beautiful water birth that was to follow. Gently, Kaitlyn transitioned into small pushes and I reflected on my three caesarean deliveries and what might have been. Then a senior midwife, Mel, entered the room. I had known her for many years, from my time of weekly post-natal visits to talk about breastfeeding and antenatal classes shared with midwives. Mel had to see how things were progressing as Kaitlyn was approaching the one-hour cut-off point for pushing without constant foetal monitoring. Examination showed the baby was well-down the birth canal but despite her greatest efforts, Kaitlyn could not move her to the point of birth in the time available and had to be transferred to the delivery room instead. Exhausted and defeated, wrapped in only a sheet, she slowly walked along the corridor, past her father and brother, in obvious pain and distress. That walk signified a change from the natural water birth she had hoped for into a more complicated birth than anyone expected. Once in the delivery room, a portable monitor was attached, with the hope of allowing her to labour in the shower. Unfortunately, it didnt work properly in this position and a clear signal of the babys heart-beat was not consistent. So she had to move onto the bed. After a short period of exhausting pushing, it was decided that intervention was needed. I stood explaining to Ashley what and who all the people and things that began appearing in the room were. He was distressed at the turn things had taken but had his mother there to support him. A doctor arrived and soon Kaitlyn was in the position we all dread, legs raised and on her back.
The doctor was saddened to see just how close the baby was to crowning and again encouraged really strong pushes while we waited for instruments to be brought. But all those days in labour had sapped her energy reserve and Kaitlyn was just not able to do it alone. A ventouse (vacuum) delivery was to be tried. With her husband, mother and mother-in-law encouraging alongside the midwives and doctor, Kaitlyn pushed with all her soul and with the doctor on the ventouse, a head began to appear. And then she was here! Charlie arrived with a tuft of dried hair from the vacuum, a small raised dome on her head and a fanfare from the doctors mobile phone ringtone playing Princess of China by Cold Play for the third time during the delivery! Placed skin to skin on her mothers chest, her parents and grandmothers greeted her. But Mel came and whispered in my ear: we needed to get colostrum into the baby asap as Kaitlyn had a third degree tear and needed to go into theatre for stitching. Our vision of breast crawl and unassisted first feed went out the window as Kaitlyn experienced hand expressing rapidly by the midwife and Charlie was unceremoniously attached to her breast to get oxytocin pumping to prevent haemorrhage.
I asked that Dad do skin to skin since Mum would not be available and this was happily supported. After an all too brief time together, we transferred the baby to Ashleys chest and Kaitlyn was wheeled out to have a general anaesthetic and repair. For two hours, my son-in-law held Charlie Winter against his chest, delicately feeding precious colostrum to her by dipping his finger and letting her suck. Gradually, her body started to pink up
and she slept against his hairy chest. Not quite the first feed I had envisaged, I found myself coaching my granddaughters father through the process!
When it was time for the family to move to Kaitlyns postnatal ward, the new father led the way procession-like, his daughter tightly held against his chest, blankets trailing like robes and the family following with bags and other items. The skin to skin continued until Kaitlyn returned from recovery and Charlie was placed in her arms. By now exhausted and recovering from the effects of a general anaesthetic, she was nonetheless keen to cuddle her baby and spent some time holding her by her side before moving on to skin to skin and an attempt at the breast. The new family were able to be together until Ashley returned home to get some sleep, at which point it was just Kaitlyn, Charlie and I alone. Eventually I dressed the baby for the first time and placed her in the cot alongside her mother and left them for the night.
Today was all about getting milk out of the breasts and into the baby. The clock was ticking towards the 48 hour weigh-in at 7pm and we werent seeing much in the way of wet or dirty nappies. Every drop that could be expressed was gathered and carefully syringed into Charlies willing mouth and her cot was placed in front of the window to help with her now-official mild jaundice. Kaitlyns increasingly-annoying cannula was finally removed and Charlie was sucking at the breast, though likely not very effectively. Skin to skin continued to be the priority, along with hand-expressing, the stimulating cycle on the pump and my hands providing compressions during feeding and expressing. The midwives were fantastic, all on the same page as we were with regard to the breastfeeding management. Most mothers complain of the conflicting advice they receive at this stage but this wasnt an issue, as my role was fully respected and often we would suggest a plan which they were happy to follow. Positive discussions about breastfeeding eventually led to a seed being planted that what Charlie needed most right now was breastmilk. Due to Ashleys history of asthma and his mother not having breastfed, we were very conscious of avoiding formula at all costs. Kaitlyns body was working hard but the medical reasons for later milk transition were stacked high. What everyone needed now was time. A quick text to a breastfeeding friend resulted in the swift delivery of some donor milk, which we began feeding Charlie by cup. Plans were made to go home that afternoon, to allow Kaitlyn to be in her own space and take away the normal intrusions of a hospital ward despite having a single room, Charlie had been disturbed the night before by the sound of other babies crying. They were home by 6pm, with the weigh-in now delayed until the first domiciliary midwife visit the following morning. Armed with the donated milk 100mls in all and the Symphony double pump I had arranged the day before, we worked as a team on the two goals: getting milk into Charlie by cup and milk out of Kaitlyn by hand and pump, with skin to skin and time on the breast in between. Grandpa was sent on a mission to buy nipple shields to help Charlie attach more easily.
Day Four Wednesday April 17 The day began with a second adjustment by the chiropractor, this time at his rooms and also a routine one for mum.
This was followed by a visit to the breastfeeding drop-in run by the hospital and staffed by Janette for some reassurance and support. My suspicions of tongue and upper lip ties were confirmed by Janette, who had spotted them on the first day but was watching and waiting. We made the first available appointment with a GP/LC who assesses and treats tongue ties, for Saturday, and I put out feelers online for who treats lip ties in Melbourne and was consistently told the same paediatric dentist! We decided to wait on the opinion of the GP/LC before following up on the lip.
Then it was home to wait for the second midwife visit. A different nurse, she was highly supportive of Kaitlyns breastfeeding plan but also noted Charlie had dropped another 10gms. There had not been any dirty nappies since Monday and although the jaundice had cleared, we were not out of the woods yet. Knowing we were using donor milk, she suggested we increase the volume of feeds and give them by bottle, rather than continue the cup with larger amounts. While both parents and baby had a nap, I used social media and my network of breastfeeding supporters and by the time they all woke, the first delivery had been made, others were on the way and we had offers of even more if we should need it! Suddenly, there was about a litre of breastmilk in the freezer! We moved to offering 50-60ml after every breastfeed and Kaitlyn began a marathon of milk stimulating strategies. In addition to the lactation cookies, I purchased supplements combining fenugreek and milk thistle. The jury is out on whether such galactagogues work there are no evidence-based studies to draw a conclusion from a science perspective (probably because no drug company would bother funding such a study into natural herbs already widely available) but anecdotally, many women claim an increase in supply. They were worth having in our tool-box. But the important thing we do know about galactagogues is they do not work in isolation milk must be actively removed to increase production. One tool I have found very successful with other mums is the practice of hands-on pumping: breast compression during double or single pumping, followed by hand expression, done frequently. I told Kaitlyn I was going into nagging-mode and sent her older sister off to Mothers Direct to purchase a bustier-bra designed to allow hands-free double pumping, which then allows free hands for breast compression. This also allowed pumping while the hands were at rest or while eating etc. This would ease the strain of holding the kits in place.
Well, Lauren must have found and activated the poo button, because soon after the first arrived and then they started coming almost constantly! Swiftly transitioning into the familiar mustard-yellow breastfed-babys bowel output, we were soon in the familiar territory of barely a urine-only nappy! Correspondingly, Charlie also began acting like a Day Four baby and was more wakeful and unsettled. Catch-up mode had begun!
You might wonder how Kaitlyns visitors and home support have been over the past two weeks? As requested, only immediate family came to see them in hospital and that was by appointment only, with Dad making the arrangements - everyone would contact him and make a time to come. After their return home, visits have continued to follow this arrangement, as the circle of family and friends have slowly been introduced to Charlie at times that suit the family. Dad makes sure they get a quick cuddle and a photo, then baby goes back to mum to start, continue or complete the feed she was bound to be ready for! Numbers of visitors at any one time have been limited and drop-ins not
encouraged. (Even I always let them know when I plan to visit and check that works for them - and they let me know if they want me to give them space - or sleep over for extra help!) From a support perspective, Ash's Mum has been providing a steady stream of nourishing meals, while I have been on washing and kitchen duty. Cycling the laundry through and keeping on top of it began during the days (!) of labour and continues to be part of my daily visits. As well, I keep the dishes under control and have been in charge of all milk expression equipment maintenance. As we head toward the halfway point of the traditional 40 days, Kaitlyn has been able to focus on breastfeeding and caring for Charlie while Ashley has been able to nurture them and manage his return to work just days after they returned from hospital.
Three Weeks:
Kaitlyn and Charlie are now venturing out into the world more widely and confidently manage feeds with the nipple shield. When asked how often Charlie breastfeeds, Kaitlyn shrugs and answers that she cluster feeds! Charlie is a very frequent feeder who comes off the breast sleepy, burps easily and briefly naps in arms before repeating the process. She sleeps longest in a baby sling or carrier or when held. Luckily, she was born into a family of baby-wearers and cuddlers who think this quite normal! At night, she co-sleeps and her feeds barely interrupt her mums sleep - rarely her dads! The planned visit to the LC/GP for the tongue tie snip saw her defer to the upcoming laser treatment in preference to her treatment. As she explained, the laser would reach more tissue and meant one invasive experience instead of two for Charlie. However, she did prescribe further treatment for mother and baby in the ongoing battle against thrush.
It was very quick. He had shown us exactly where he would laser - above and below the salivary glands under the tongue and the quite extensive lip tie. He said there would be a burning smell, but that was his instrument, not the baby and said older children and adults describe it as a pins and needles sensation. As soon as it was finished, I was to be sat up and pass the baby straight to the breast. Charlie cried, but I think it was more about being on her back, restrained and having gloved hands in and around her mouth. As I handed her to Kaitlyn, there was a spot of blood on her shirt. We had previously decided to feed her with the nipple shield, as usual, rather than try her straight on the breast in the circumstances. She went straight on and fed for about 15 mins. When she came off, there was smeared blood around the part of her face the shield had touched, but not a great deal.
While she fed, the dentist asked me to tell him all about nipple shields and their reasons for use!
Charlie fed normally until about 1pm, when she must have caught the underside of her tongue on the shield. We then had a bit of a meltdown which finally resolved with some baby panadol, which he had said she might need. He had also said, because her lip tie was extensive, that there might be some swelling in the lip and a slight risk of infection but that breastmilk would minimise that and was also the best thing for pain relief. The after-care is some exercises and applying vitamin E oil from day 3 to day 10. There is a check-up after 7 days. If any revision is needed they will do that at no extra charge. The cost? $500!! Ouch. We are pretty sure it won't be covered under their general dental cover. However, the expected effect on her breastfeeding is well worth it. Charlie has been able to attach to the breast without the shield but not maintain the latch. Her lip tie has meant that the lip doesn't flange at all over the breast and there isn't a good seal, with milk leaking. The tongue was not able to remain extended for more than a moment or two. She has fed via nipple shield since coming home from the hospital.
After trying in the cradle-hold and underarm-hold, both without success, Nicole encouraged Kaitlyn to lie down on the floor mat. This worked! After a few attempts, she latched without the shield, had a long feed, needed an outfit change with her nappy, had another feed and fell fast asleep on the floor! When she later woke, she fed on both breasts in the cradle position with Kaitlyn sitting on the couch (a relief, as the thought of only being able to feed lying down would seriously impact on their coffee shop habits!)