$1,624,606.

53

VOLUME TWO

0 8 .15 .13

I S S U E 33

M aybe your best course... would be to tread lightly. Walter White

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Last Monday, New Braunfels City Council voted to raise property taxes another 7.3%. This might not seem like an atrocity at first, but remember, voters just passed bonds totaling $86 million about 12 weeks ago. That election might have had a different outcome if the voters knew there was yet another tax increase right around the corner. Surprise! Heres another sumpthin sumpthin for yall: According to the Mayor, the reason we need the tax increase is to have cash on hand. And the reason we need the cash on hand is so we can keep our bond rating high. And we need a high bond rating so we can sell more bonds - and thus increase our debt. Local property taxes are skyrocketing, and for one very good reason a good portion of the people voting them in are not subject to them. In case you didnt know, property owners over the age of 65 have their tax rate capped their taxes only go up if the value of their property rises. The rest of the populace subsidizes them by bearing the full brunt of whatever tax hikes come down the pike. And because your average voter tends to be older than the average citizen, we have a situation where people are voting themselves services without the accompanying tax burden. People under 65 are carrying more than their share simply because of their age. Heres a case study for yall. We went through the tax rolls and found a home with these particulars. Really look at these numbers. Let the ramifications of this sink in: 2,072 Square feet No pool 96 Square foot covered porch Less than a quarter acre lot Taxable Value = $148,890 This owner is taxed $2,723.23, or about 1.83 per $100 in value Then we looked up Mayor Gale Pospisils house: 2,855 Square feet Pool 600 Square foot covered porch On nearly a half acre Taxable Value = $242,840 The Mayor is taxed $2,629.61, or about 1.08 per $100 in value TXCITIZEN.COM

1 WORD
ST
MIKE REYNOLDS
WITH
Yes, the property has a Disabled Veterans exemption stately Pospisil Manor is worth $5,000 to $12,000 more than what shes taxed on. (Thanks for your service, Vladimir!) Ill put this in terms we can all appreciate. Lets say youre ordering a steak. Your price for the tres-petite filet, should you be under 65 years of age, is $18.30. The Mayor would only pay $10.80 for the same steak. I think we can agree, that is one hell of an early-bird special. Faux capitalists, and people who have already made their money, hate a free market, and the best way to keep a free market from taking its toll on them is to raise the drawbridge after getting into the castle. This is one of those situations. People who have already made their wealth, and often dont intend to make much more, have found a way to keep the hoards not only out of their neighborhoods, but to get them to pay for their services as well. See, if their tax rate doesnt go up like everyone elses, their property can keep appreciating in value and they probably wont be forced to sell due to market forces. But the 35 year-old guy whose house doesnt goes up in value can be taxed out of it by people who dont pay what he does into the system. Want to know where the American entitlement culture comes from? Children catch it from their grandparents. Consider this: The higher the percentage as well, but that just means

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TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.CO TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM of people over 65 in the system, the greater TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM the burden on those under retirement age. TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM This is a perfect plan for creating a retirement TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM welfare city, attracting retirees by the busload TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM right up until all the young families move TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM out, taking their tax dollars with them. Oops. TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM Unsustainable. But hey, the consequences TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM wont hit for another 20 years, and, face TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM it, 20 years from now lets just say the TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.CO consequences wont matter for a great deal of TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM the electorate. TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM Continued on next page. TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM TXCITIZEN.COM

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Sir, your reports on NB city government Continued from previous page. Back to steaks: The Mayor can buy almost twice as many as you can and do whatever she wants to with them perhaps give them to someone who would otherwise have to pay what you do for them and not because she has twice your money in the bank, but simply because shes older than you. Yeah, that seems equitable. This is a pretty conservative town, but for all the conservative ideology, were still happy to protect certain classes of people. #welfare As far as Im concerned, if someone isnt going to be subject to a tax increase, they shouldnt be permitted to vote on it. But that would upset the entire purpose of government, which is to take from the many, and redistribute it to the few. Congratulations, voters. Well done. Enjoy those half-price services. Well cover the difference for yall. have been extremely enlightening to me. Ive always stayed informed about corruption at state and national levels of government never realizing what was occurring right here in the town I love. Keep up the great work! Stay fearless! I really seems to me, from your great with the rest of the other incompetent, and wonder how can someone graduate from law remembered, and yet be so forgetful, and at both interviews very much! Great interview. I read the article to some buddies of mine here in Afghanistan. None of DeVry. Thanks and keep up the fire.

THURSDAY AUG 15
Mark Sebby 8pm *RIB NIGHT!*

FRIDAY AUG 16
Groovehounds 8pm Wayne Garner 8pm

interview, that Acevado is a perfect fit

SATURDAY AUG 17 WEDNESDAY AUG 21

GForce Karaoke 8pm *STEAK NIGHT!*

usefully forgetful city officials(?) One has to

school, with all that has to be learned and

times, down right ignorant? Really did enjoy

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HWY 46, 2 MILES PAST CLEAR SPRINGS

Awesome! Keep up the, you know, and

NOW SMOKE FREE!

Our two-part interview with New Braunfels keeping all of us, well, you know. psychic City Attorney, Madame Val Acevado, Just wondering if you can get out of has yielded a bumper crop of comments, both via the electronic mail and our page at taking English classes to get a law degree? facebook.com/txcitizen. Heres a smattering of some reader reactions: I know some 2nd graders who are better at speaking in complete sentences, maybe even

BAD DESIGN IS YOUR BUSINESS

Call now. You cant afford not to.
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some 4 year olds. What a beat down to read Wow. Youre kind of a d##k. Making all the way through this. Kuddos to you Mike, her actually have to defend what she says and you have way more patience than I do! not letting her save face. Meany Mike. Bravo to you sir. I, uh, dont think that,...all, you know.. law..attorn..yers, uh. like maybe..might not I read it 3 times and still think its very kind of talk this, you know, way..like that. confusing to try to follow what she says or doesnt say. Uh. I dont know. You know. I mean. Uh. Well. I think. Uh. Well. Uh. It was. Uh. Well, t-shirt? Of course you do! you know. Uh. Crystal clear. Sorta, you know. Count how many times Madame Val used

Hey. Want to win a TX Citizen

the phrase you know in the combined One of your very best... keep the truth August 1 and August 8 First Word columns coming... thank you. (available online at txcitizen.com) and send I had a youngster fetch the paper so I could read the story. Holy cow, did you catch that lady in lie after lie. Is there anyone in city hall that shoots straight? She was as manipulative as that little guy that does the press stuff for the president. You know? Well according to the city attorney well you know we should know what she is speaking of. FYI - We do not know what you speak of when the phrase well you know is used. your answer to events@txcitizen.com by noon on Monday, August 19.

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Rockin R River Rides Hiring CDL drivers. Must have clean record, reliable & pass drug test. Apply in person at193 S. Liberty, New Braunfels TX. 830.620.6262 TLU Food Services Now hiring cashiers, production and short order cooks, and kitchen help. Apply in person at Hein Dining Hall, 1000 W Court St in Seguin. P/T Sales Assistant Wanted (T-F) 9am-1pm at NB Office. Quick learner, must be dependable, with
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AROUND&ABOUT
Jeanna: Well, we specialize in truf es, obviously! Theyre all homemade, and we do about 17 different avors. Theyre all very bite-sized. Theyre, you know, wonderful! I have anything from regular chocolate all the way to chipotle. I serve a wide variety of avors. I also do banana pudding, cookies, cupcakes, cheesecakes, pretty much, Im turning basic truf es into a full-blown bakery. Im very excited and very grateful to the Phoenix (Saloon) for allowing me to do this upstairs!

Jeanna: Believe it or not, Ive been in medical billing for the last 11 to 12 years. About four years ago when my daughter was born, I decided to take some baking classes. I realized I was actually o.k. with doing these things, so I kind of went from there and fell in love with baking. Both of my grandmothers were bakers, but I never thought it would trickle down to me. Thankfully, it did. So I decided to stop medical billing, it was a good time in our lives, we were moving to New Braunfels and building a home. So I wanted to come up with something that I could pass down to my daughter. Thats important to me. Its very family-based. A lot of my recipes are from my great-great grandmothers.

Last week, a new business took ight at the Phoenix Saloon. Babycake Truf es, located in a space above the Phoenix, brought some of their signature goodies downstairs for an evening tasting. We spoke with truf e-goddess Jeanna Pell about her sweet treats.

Jeanna: Our hours will be from about 10am to 8pm, closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Well have free wi for the public. Theres table and chairs and a little kid section, too!

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Comal Country Music Show

going strong right here in New Braunfels for 15 years! country music and a spattering of country gospel songs.

By Chase Cochran

Chances are good youve never heard of the Comal Country Music Show, even though its been Since its first performance on October 21, 1998, the show has been entertaining hundreds of folks, once a month, with its current home at the Knights of Columbus Hall on Landa St. On the third Tuesday of each month, guests are presented with two and a half hours of real, classic Each month, there are three different featured artists, along with a house band thats packed full of life-long musicians. There are two sets of music and an intermission during the evening, with the house band and the featured artists taking turns swapping songs. You wont hear any of todays country music, though. This is country before Nashville got ahold of it and changed (ruined) it. Youll hear the likes of Ernest Tubb, Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Bob Wills, Patsy Cline and Hank Sr. And youre guaranteed to see something different each month. Be it a child prodigy fiddle player, an amazing vocalist or even a guy laying it down on an accordion, the lineup is always fresh and exciting. This is a show that the whole family can enjoy. Theres no alcohol served, plenty of seating, and even room in the back to get up and dance if youre so inclined. Sandwiches, desserts and beverages are available. All the musicians volunteer their time, and all the door and refreshment sales go straight to local charities. The doors open at 6pm, with music kicking off at 7:30. The cover is only five bucks for a night of great entertainment that you wont find anywhere else in town. I recommend getting there early to grab choice seating. This months show is slated for next Tuesday, August 20, and the lineup includes three top-notch vocalists. The featured artists this time around are Arnold Parker, Winston ONeal, and the almost-world-famous Carol Cochran (yes, theres a bit of a bias there, but hey, its my article!) The show is co-produced by Johnnie Pfeil & Chuck Woods The house band is made up of Vernon Doege on steel guitar, Ken Moehrig on fiddle & mandolin, Paul Schlesinger on fiddle, Lynn Poe on bass, Fruit Balderas on drums, Johnnie Pfeil on keyboard, Chuck Woods on lead guitar & banjo, Sally Carlson on rhythm guitar and Joyce Poe as emcee.

CALENDAR
TRAINS!
Come on out to Kids Fun Day at the New Braunfels Railroad Museum, on Saturday, August 17, at the railroad tracks near the Brauntex, in the restored 1907 railroad depot. Kids of all ages will have the opportunity to run the model trains and become a Jr. Engineer. The Railroad Museum opens at 10am on Kids Fun Days. For more information, call Howard Young at 210-542-6121.

TONY PANIAGUA BENEFIT

2 to 6pm, Saturday, August 17, at Bubbas Big Deck. $7 BBQ plates, $5 raffle tickets, with winners drawn at 6pm! For more information, contact Tanya at 830-237-4476.

Saturday, August 17, from 2 to 5pm at Comfort Suites, 1489 IH 35 North. Vendors, prizes and refreshments! For more information, call Elaine at 830-358-3355.

LADIES SUMMER GLAM EXPO 7 6

BELTSANDER RACES
Sanders, start your engines! The hardware hits the track from 3 to 5pm at the Happy Cow in Hunter, TX. Call 512-353-0030.

Take 9 off your shoes and get your 10squish on at Tavern in the 11 Gruene. The grapestomping starts at 4pm and goes on until gods know when. For more information, call 830-608-0438.

GRAPESTOMP

For more information on the show, lookup Johnnie Pfeil at facebook.com/johnnie.pfeil

CHILDRENS ADVOCACY CENTER CAJUN CASINO NIGHT

6 to 10pm, Saturday, August 17 at the New Braunfels Civic and Convention Center, 375 Castell Ave. For more information, call 830-626-2543, ext 208.

Paul Sanchez and Wrangler Country will be playing great classic country music for the Veterans Programs at the Geronimo VFW Post 8456, 6808 N Highway 123, Geronimo, on Sunday, August 18, from 3 to 6:30 pm. Kitchen/ door 2 pm. Open seating. $7 donation. Hall is smoke free and open to all. Info 830-303-9903/830-379-9260.

13

GERONIMO VFW SUNDAY DANCE

14 15

GOT AN EVENT TO PROMOTE?

Johnnie Pfeil Chuck Woods

17

Well get the word out for you! Send the details to18 calendar@txcitizen.com.

19
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TXCITIZEN.COM

CITIZEN SOUNDCHECK
Thu 8.15
Black Whale Pub
TBA 9pm

Fri 8.16
Dirtys Bar & Q
Groovehounds 8pm

Vineyard at Gruene
Chris & Judy 7pm

The Pour Haus

Dirtys Bar & Q

Mark Sebby 8pm

Vino en Verde
KennCentric w/ Jen Coy 8pm

The Groovehounds 5pm Brent Woods Band 9pm Mark McKinney w/ Chris King 8pm

The Happy Cow

Freiheit Country Store

Kim Meeks & Her Bad Habits 8pm JumboFunk! 6pm

River Road Ice House

Open Mic w/ Fallon Franklin 6pm Jam Night 6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten Phoenix Saloon

Sat 8.17
Black Whale Pub
TBA 9pm

Tavern in the Gruene

Grape Stomp & Live Music 4pm Whiskey Rodeo 9pm, $3

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten Phoenix Saloon

James Pardo 5pm

Broseph 5pm The Beaumonts w/ Hillbilly Jug Band 9pm James Pardo 9pm

Dirtys Bar & Q

Wayne Garner 9pm

Triple Crown

Rileys Tavern

Medina Moonshine Band 9pm Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm Luke Wade & No Civilians 8pm Brennen Leigh & Noel McKay w/ Ashley Monocal & Kem Watts 9pm Owen Temple 7pm

Rileys Tavern AJs Ale House

Gruene Cricket Pub

TBA 9pm

Hognose, Superfoot, Buzz n Bangs, Blue Kabuki 9pm John Maclean 8pm Tibbs Country 7pm

Uptown Piano Bar Vineyard at Gruene Vino en Verde

AJs Ale House

The Happy Cow

Lonnie & Texas Connection 7pm

Billys Ice House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm Wes Nickson 8pm

Billys Ice House Cheatham Street Warehouse

Adam Johnson Band 9pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Little Brother-Big Brother 2pm The Texas Terraplanes 7pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Empty Handed Vagabonds 9pm

Phoenix Saloon
Chubby Knuckle Choir 9pm

Sun 8.18
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Blues Buzzards 2pm Jordan Minor 2pm TBA 7pm

Gruene Hall The Pour Haus

Ryan Ramirez 7pm

Gruene Hall

Jack Ingram w/ Jon Christopher Davis 8pm, $20 Band of Bandits 5pm Chad Sullins & the Last Call Coalition 9pm Green River Ordinance w/ Midnight River Choir 8pm

Rileys Tavern
Hill Country Gentlemen 9pm

Phoenix Saloon

The Pour Haus

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show 9pm

River Road Ice House

Whiskey Rodeo 7pm

Baja BBQ Shack

Welfare Fathers 7pm

Tavern in the Gruene

Broken String Road Band 8pm

River Road Ice House

Baja BBQ Shack

Jo Hell 8pm

Billys Ice House

Triple Crown

Billys Ice House

Joe King Carrasco 9pm

Horseshoes & Hand Grenades 8pm Jr Nash 2pm

Bob Appel 6pm We Deal in Lead, Giant Salvinia, Quiet Room 10pm Ashley Stone 8pm Buddy Boy 7:30pm

Tavern in the Gruene Triple Crown

Bubbas Big Deck Geronimo VFW 8456

Sam Riggs & the Night People 8pm The Bottom Feeders 6pm Luke Adair & the Big Bills, Mile of Dirt 9pm Barry Adams 8pm

Bubbas Big Deck

Empty Handed Vagabonds 3pm

Uptown Piano Bar Vino en Verde

8

Gruene Hall
Jeff Strahan 1pm Delbert McClinton w/ Mary McBride 9pm, $35

Country Dance Paul Sanchez & Wrangler Country Band Food @ 2, Music @ 3 Ruby Jane Smith 12:30pm MilkDrive 5pm

Gruene Hall

Uptown Piano Bar

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The Pour Haus

Larry Martin Sweeney 6pm Bo Brumble 8pm

River Road Ice House

Fast Betty 8pm

River Road Ice House Vineyard at Gruene

Tavern in the Gruene

Zach Walther & Tom Gilliam 4pm

Roots & Branches of Americana 7pm The Blooms 9:30pm The Christophers 6pm The Lucky Odds, Rock Bottom String Band, Marcus Morales & the Washboard Machine 9pm

Triple Crown

Mon 8.19
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase w/ John Whipple Wes Nickson 8pm

Billys Ice House Gruene Hall

Wed 8.21
Buffalo Wings & Rings
Steven Roloff & Friends 7:30pm
Altered States Mike Crowe IPA
Vinnys ESB OktoberFaust

Thomas Michael Riley 7pm Empty Handed Vagabonds 8pm Court Nance & Friends 8pm Ike Eichenberg 6pm

Phoenix Saloon Rileys Tavern

Michael Fletcher 9pm Allan Goodman 8:30pm Aaron Stephens 8pm

River Road Ice House Tavern in the Gruene Triple Crown

Jonny Burke & Sean Faires 8pm

HOME TO FOUR AWARD WINNING BREWS!

Watering Hole Saloon Billys Ice House Cheatham Street Warehouse

Kent Finlays Songwriters Circle 9pm The Georges 7pm Myles Smith 7pm

Tues 8.20
Gruene Cricket Pub
Open Mic w/ Austin 8pm Steven Roloff 9pm TBA 8:30pm

Located in the heart of downtown New Braunfels, the Historic Faust Hotel & Brewing Company is a one-stop destination offering a variety of House Brews, Full Bar and Tapas-Style Menu, and Redesigned Guestrooms, Suites, and Event Center, which feature 1920s Art Deco design while incorporating modern amenities.

Rileys Tavern Watering Hole Saloon Billys Ice House

Claire Domingue 8pm

Gruene Hall The Pour Haus River Road Ice House

John Edward Bauman w/ Austin Garrett 7pm

Cheatham Street Warehouse

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UNCLE ESEL
Uncle Esel, I saw where a judge ruled that the New York practice of stopping and frisking people for no reason was not legal. I have a friend there who has been stopped a few times while just walking to a market or to get some pizza and been frisked for no reason at all. He is of course black and reports that most who are stopped are black or Hispanic. Is this practice allowed in Texas? I am also black and I have been stopped by cops for no reason myself, but so far no frisk. Have I just been lucky? Thanks, Barry
alcohol. Esel was wondering why they didnt make a big spectacle and blow up the ship to create some corral reef somewhere and maybe bring some of the stars to do the honors. Sadly, the Love Boat may become the Death Boat as it is reported that two workers were overcome by fumes and have died. Love, K

ADVICE FROM

NYC has been criticized because it does

Dear Uncle Esel, I heard some story about some guy bringing a Ouija board to a city council meeting and contacting the father of a council person. What do you suppose we could find out if we took a Ouija board to our council meetings and maybe contacted Prince Carl? Dear Barry, Thanks a Bunch, The practice of stop-question-frisk in Dave
Dear Dave, We decided to give it a try and heres what we found: Walnut Ave. will finally be done by 2014, but water will continue to run into the street from the irrigation system for years. Council Member Nolte will actually make up her own mind on an issue in December,

in fact target minorities nearly nine of ten times it is used. Of course the idea that any person can be stopped and in some essence detained just walking to buy a gallon of milk would seem absurd to most of America, but then who of us would think it would be illegal to get a Big Gulp at 7-11 (recently thrown out by the courts also).

This practice is not allowed explicitly then five minutes later she will change it back here in Texas, but many Central and East to the Mayors decision. Texas counties have had a similar policy for

The Scooter Store will have the debt to the decades. They call it stop-drive to a remote city wiped out in bankruptcy. Other creditors wooded area-beat. Around here, authorities will get money. rely more on excessive bail and trumped charges to control the population. Love, K An upward trend is coming. Taxes, property crime, water rates and traffic jams will go up. The city will lose... approximately... 6 or

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Dear Esel, 7 lawsuits... you know? Is it true they are scrapping the Love HEB will receive huge tax concessions to Boat? Man I loved that show. build another store. Thanks, Greg Abbott will become Governor and Dry Doc make City Hall pay dearly for being such
Doc, The Pacific (formerly Pacific Princess) arrived in a Turkish shipyard a week ago and is in fact being ripped apart and scrapped. Esel remembers many a fantasy about getting some love on the Love Boat and of course (for the record) it always involved Mrs. Esel, but sometimes disguised as Kathy Ireland. Esel remembers how much he wanted to have a friend like Isaac, not because I wanted a friend that was black and witty, but for free TXCITIZEN.COM arrogant @&$#%. Uncle Esel will spend a night with Kathy Ireland. Love, K

Uncle K. Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Uncle Esel at: askesel@TXCITIZEN. COM. Be sure to write Question for Uncle Esel in the subject line of your email.

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11

830-626-9464(WING)

Dear Mexican: This pregunta has been simmering in my brain for a while, like slow cooking birria, and the recent question about whether saying Viva la Raza is racist reminded me to ask you. According to Jos Vasconcelos, the Mexican people are La Raza Csmica (Cosmic Race); which, to myself at least, seems like a romantic version of the melting pot farce. In Guillermo Bonfil Batallas Mxico Profundo, he suggests that notions like La Raza Csmica are used to de-indianize the majority of the Mexican people. We have a strong and rich indigenous history; thus umbrella terms like mestizo y raza csmica further detach us from our cultural and ethnic identity, and the natural claim to our tierra y nuestro soberana. And for what? To produce a legally enslaved working class thats neither Indian nor Spanish, but a mix, mongrels, mutts. What to do you think? Are we La Raza Cosmica? Mestizos? Mexicanos? Or according to Reies Tijernia, are we Indio/Hispanos? Bastardo de la Inquisicin
Dear Bastard of the Inquisition: Gracias for bringing up Mxico Profundo, a great book that complements the fabulous Facing West: The Metaphysics of Indian-Hating and Empire-Building. While I understand Batallas argument, its also one that doesnt consider the supremacy of the mutt, which is what Vasconelos was trying to hint at. Societies that remain pure have a muchharder time to survive in this mundo than those that absorb and learn from other cultures

you think the Aztecs got to the top of the Templo Mayor by keeping only to the ways of their ancestors all the way from Aztln to Tenochtitln? The Mexican feels its crucial for Mexis to remember their indigenous roots, because the only good thing the conquistadors left us was Spanish and distillationbut embrace the mutt, as well, as that allows us to be whoever we want to be and draw from all the cultures that make us.
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only be gabachos because they have largely forsaken this countrys melting-pot pastand who the hell would want to be a gabacho like that?

12

ASK A MEXICAN!

Dear Mexican: Why do so many Mexicans like Man?! WTF, and why do they think theyre truly a rock en espaol/Latin alternative band? They suck and blow big time and are more equivalent to Hootie and the Blowfish than anything else and should be placed in the POP SECTION! Puro Pinche Caifanes
Dear Pure F##king Caifanes: While no one makes more fun of the Guadalajarabased quartet than me, maybe us Man-haters should cut the fresas some slack. After all, their early success with rip-offs of the Police and Sting assisted in convincing gabachos that there was more to Mexican music than sombreros and Herb Alpert. Their concerts are now puro pinche parri nostalgia fests that inspire Mexi MILFS to squeeze into dresses four sizes too small. Mariposa Butterfly) is Traicionera a legit (Treacherous rola, and the

accompanying video of lesbians and thongs simply magnificent. And, on a more serious note, Man members have donated muchos pesos to saving sea turtles via their nonprofit and who can hate people like that? Actually, a lot of Mexicans like you and I. You compare the chavos to Hootie and the Blowfish, but theyre more like the Dave Matthews Band of rock en espaol despised by the purists as the group cries all the way to the banco. CONGRATULATIONS TO: The Dream 9, the group of undocumented activists who traveled to Mexico, tried to cross back into el Norte to highlight the plight of people like themselves, were detained by la migra sometimes in solitary confinementand are currently out of prison, awaiting an asylum hearing. The struggle isnt over, of course, but their bravery is simply inspiring. I ask America again: why wouldnt we want such brave men and mujeresand the millions of people they stand foras citizens of this country?

Compare that to gabachos, who can

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube. com/askamexicano!
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Victor: Ok Max, like they say, the Devil is in the details, or like we say, on the beer labels Did you get those two Devil brews you spotted last week? Max: I sure did. The Devils Backbone Belgian Style Ale and Stone Cali-Belgue IPA. (Pop) This Devils Backbone is a Belgian Style Tripel Abby Style Ale. Its made locally up in Blanco by the Real Ale Brewing Company. Victor: Have you ever been on the Devils Backbone Max? Max: Yeah, I stopped at that tavern up there. Their fireplace is creepy. Victor: I know! Phantom of the Opera organ pipes repurposed to blow heat into the bar. Genius. (Pour) I like the head. White. Aroma is that of a true Belgium Wheat. Body is light orange in color. Max: Check out the Best Consumed by Date! It says Drink soon. Victor: I like their honesty, lack of preservatives, and the moxie to attempt to tell me what to do.

The Devils Backbone vs Stones Cali-Belgue

Beer, Itself.

With the Yeasty Boys , Max and Victor Godard

Oktoberfest beers. I do believe that it got its name because it could be brewed in England and kegged, and if kept somewhat cool, could survive the long voyage to the British troops in India. The sun never sets and all. Max: Ah! Beer history! I like it! Victor: And its no wonder they call it Stone. Its very earthy, malty, and crisp. IPAs usually have that punch you in the back of your throat after burn and this one is no different. It had to survive a trip around the Cape of Good Hope. However, its comfortable. Its an enjoyable punch. I like it. Max: I like it too. Both are hearty beers but I can drink these in the summer. Victor: Ok Max, which Devil wins? Local Victor: (Pop) You picked an IPA Max. beer that is good but needs a slice of fruit or Max: (Sips), Wellits a little bitter. Victor: I agree. Its very hoppy. Youll An India Pale Ale from the Stone Brewing the Stoney Horney Devil? Max: The Stone Devil from California. need to put an orange or lemon slice in this Company of Escondido, California. Its Victor: Agreed. God Save the Queen, going to have the same white frothy head beer. But it has a very sweet finish. you bastard! Max: I agree. The label says it is brewed and orange colored body but the taste will Max: What? be very different. with their in-house made Candi Sugar. Victor: Youll understand next week. Max: Its not as bitter but it does have a Victor: All right, lets go back to Cali. Max: I like this one already because it very interesting flavor. Until next time, fear no beer! Victor: Its very similar to German comes in a big, big bottle.

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MOST WANTED
LAWLESS, ALEMAN, RAYMOND ANGEL THOMAS JOSEPH
Male 511 190 lbs Male 508 200 lbs DOB: 06/30/1971 DOB: 08/08/1981 CHARGE: Two CHARGE: Two counts charges of motion to of motion to revoke probation for criminal revoke for possession of a controlled mischief over $1500 substance pg 1 under $20,000

COMAL COUNTYS

Ernest Servantes lS

Ladies and gentlemen, if there is/was a recipe in your cookbook or online food blog that starts off with words like Louisiana, Stuffed, or Drunk, you know its going to be good! I just traveled through five states on vacation, and each of them had their own coolness factor. But one state was the Joe Cool of them all when it came down to food: Louisiana. Heres my take on a Louisiana classic.

Louisiana Jalapeno Boudin Stuffed Drunk Chicken

BROWN, PATRICIA DIANE

Female 505 195 lbs DOB: 10/27/1982 CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for credit card or debit card abuse

PEARSON, DANIEL EUGENE

Male 510 200 lbs DOB: 01/11/1984 CHARGE: Courts motion to revoke for burglary of building

CALHOUN, DEAN EDWARD

Male 600 245 lbs DOB: 01/19/1966 CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for assault family violence with previous convictions

THOMAS, RANDY
Male 604 210 lbs DOB: 05/08/1971 CHARGE: Motion to revoke for burglary of habitation

1 (4 pound) whole chicken 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 boudin links - remove casing 2 cloves whole garlic 1 (12 ounce) can beer 1 small onion 1 lemon 8 ounces of zesty Italian dressing 1 large chopped jalapeno 1 whole jalapeno 2-3 tablespoons Cajun seasoning rub (recipe below)

Ingredients

COLLINS, SHONNYA LYNN

Female 505 108 lbs Female 505 156 lbs DOB: 03/09/1972 DOB: 08/08/1978 CHARGE: Motion to CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for revoke for bail possession of a jumping and fail to controlled substance appear felony pg 1

VIDALES, MISTY

2 tablespoon paprika 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1-1/2 teaspoons ground white pepper 1-1/2 teaspoons ground black pepper 1 tablespoon salt 2 teaspoon onion powder 2 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon dried thyme 1 teaspoon oregano

Cajun Seasoning Rub

HERNANDEZ, BO RYAN

$200 REWARD
14

Male 501 135 lbs DOB: 11/06/1991 CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for theft of property over $1500 under $20,000 and bail jumping/ failure to appear

WHEELER, JASON BERNARD

Male 600 155 lbs DOB: 07/21/1988 CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for forgery

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1. Remove giblets from the inside of the chicken. Discard or save for another use. Rinse and pat the chicken dry. In a bowl, mix your boudin sausage, chopped jalapenos, and half onion together, and stuff the cavity of chicken till full. 2. Prepare grill for indirect heat once the briquettes have enough ash on them, pile them to one side, leaving a cool side. If youre using a gas grill, turn on all burners until grill reaches 350 degrees, then turn off the burners on one side. 3. If cooking in an oven, preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a shallow roasting pan with tin foil to catch any drips. 4. Pour half of the beer into a sauce pan and add whole jalapeno, half onion, garlic , Italian dressing, lemon and the rest of your rub. Place on stove over medium heat until it starts to simmer. 5. Brush outside of chicken with olive oil. 6. Combine Cajun seasoning rub ingredients. Sprinkle seasoning all over the outside of the chicken. 7. Place chicken on the cool side of the grill or in the oven. Roast for 1 and 1/2 to 2 hours, rotating about halfway through cooking time, until an instant read thermometer measures an internal temperature of 180 degrees. Baste the chicken with sauce every 20 minutes until chicken is done. 8. Remove chicken from the grill or oven. Allow to rest 15 minutes before serving.

Instructions

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotated Public Record and Information disclosure statues.This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, August 12, 2013 at 11:10 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For anonymous tips and rewards, please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number 830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

Ernest Servantes is the celebrity chef behind The Burnt Bean Company, a competitive BBQ team based in New Braunfels. His fire-and-meat-based skill set earned him national recognition when he captured the 2012 Grill Masters Championship, and the accompanying $50,000 grand prize, on the Food Networks Chopped.
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Last Word
With Kelly Colby
Getting Down with OCP
City. Business plans could be drawn up to meet promised, and would be civilly liable in cases should not be able to liquidate Van Goghs to villain, taking over a failing, crime-ridden Essentially, some private operation agrees change this periodically. the owners or shareholders. The best way to Im not sure why the idea should be increase profits would be to increase taxpaying Detroit and generally implementing the to provide services to all of the citizens of soulless capitalism that has become a staple of Detroit. They would agree to operate police shocking. But, for the nervous-nellies out there, population, so focusing on bringing jobs, the American film industry. In a case of life imitating art, Detroit has collapsed into a real-life dystopia. The politicians are almost uniformly corrupt, the city is in bankruptcy, the infrastructure is crumbling, and crime is out of control. Things have become so bad that even hiring the fictional OCP seems that a viable solution. At its height, Detroit had a population of 1.8 million and the highest per capita income in the United States. Now, Detroit has a population of only 700,000, an unemployment rate of 16 percent and a debt of $18.2 billion. Houses and properties in Detroit can be found for almost nothing, but in a city where public services are sporadic, crime is high and prospects are dismal, few are willing to take a chance on them at any price. Bankruptcy may help with some of the financing burden, but Detroit is beyond any real means of supporting itself. It needs to shrink the size of its unproductive sector and increase the size of its productive sector. What if the solution was as simple as the one from the movie Robocop? What if we just sold Detroit? Perhaps we cant sell Detroit outright; its part of Michigan, after all. And, though people have been fleeing the area for years, there are a few of them left, and some of them may own property. Instead, lets sell the right to operate Detroit as a city. In some respects, this wouldnt change anything. Detroit is still bankrupt; it owes far more than it has. As such the city would still have to go through bankruptcy and pay their creditors to the best of their ability as defined by a court of law. After that is done, though, what happens? Usually more of the same: more politicians, more cronyism, more deals and more debt. Instead, what if Detroit were sold as a service company, or better yet, leased as one? Companies from around the world could compete for the right to operate the Motor TXCITIZEN.COM
Wed buy that for a dollar.

In the bizarre, 1987 sci-fi hit Robocop, Omni certain state requirements, and bidding could where they didnt. Citizens would have a say come up with cash. in what was provided for and a chance to Profits from the contract would go to Consumer Products (OCP) plays the role of begin. The highest bidder wins.

and fire departments; water, power and trash precautions could be taken to avoid OCP citizens, and money in general into Detroit would be high on each bidders priority list. set a cap on their profits to convince the voters that they are not being gouged. Money over and above the amount agreed upon could be returned to the taxpayers, used provide extra rainy day fund might be something the state should require and would be money only the state could open up to be spent.) Wages and pensions for government workers would be set as part of the contract and would be static for the term of that contract. Pensions would be the property of job. This might be the most difficult aspect for a bidder because they would need to be sure that they had not underbid such pay. If you decide you can pay teachers half of what the short of teachers, but nonetheless, schools must still run and run as the contract requires. Businesses already face regulation for how they operate, and they are forced to

Some bidding companies might want to

services or be placed in a rainy day fund. (A

the workers and leave with them if they left the

last contract stipulated, you may find yourself

be transparent with their finances. A state

disposal; the courts and schools; maintain excesses. (though I think Detroit might benefit auditor might be used to keep track of any shenanigans (and stop them, hopefully). the infrastructure; and manage the funds and from an ED-209 or two on the force) properties of the city. They could do this for

Bidders would need to be bonded against Ultimately, I think civil liability would keep some tax percentage, and that tax percentage losses. (If they lose money on the deal, too most things on the level. I know that government thinks that they would remain stable for the period of years bad, they should have thought it through better.) That would mean that they would either are the only ones who can provide certain At the end of that period there could be an need sufficient funds to be sure that any loses types of services, but if this is true, I suspect election of sorts. Competing firms could offer for the period of the contract are covered or the range of those services is substantially determined by the lease (lets say four). new business proposals with bids represented have some other backer indemnifying them. narrower than they suggest. Detroit could be by a tax rate to be collected. Perhaps some This would insure that there were no future a chance to experiment with some anarchist new bidder will offer free bus service with taxpayer bailouts. their bid, or a decreased tax rate for recycling ideas and give the free market a chance to

I would also suggest that assets owned shine. I generally trust corporations, even requirements in trash pickup, or to pick up by the city could not be sold by the operating large ones, to be competent more than I do the delivery of broadband for citizens, or firms. They could add as they saw fit, but sales government. Detroits current crisis might be an offer school choice city-wide. The voters could would need to be part of a bid proposal so opportunity in disguise. choose which plan they wanted, again for a that the treasury couldnt be raided to cover set period of time. unexpected expenses. Selling the art in the Companies operating the city would be Detroit museums might be a good idea during legally obligated to provide the services as the bankruptcy, but the private companies 15

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug. blogspot.com.

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