SEPTEMBER 2013

PLUGGED IN
A MONTHLY PUBLICATION TO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG INTO THE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR STUDENT.

September Issue
THIS MONTH

THE GATHERING (9/4) TURNING HEARTS PARENT CONFERENCE AND LUNCHEON W/ DR. RICHARD ROSS (9/8)

COMING SOON

MARRIAGE CONFERENCE (10/4-5) FALL RETREAT (10/11-13) FRIEND DAY (10/27) DNOW (1/17-19)

Dont Forget...
OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS OUR CHURCH WILL OFFER MULTIPLE OPPORTUNITIES FOR PARENTS TO BE BETTER EQUIPPED TO MAKE MULTIPLYING DISCIPLES OF THOSE IN YOUR HOME. DR. RICHARD ROSS (FOUNDER OF TRUE LOVE WAITS AND PARENT MINISTRY VISIONARY) WILL BE WITH US ON SEPTEMBER 8 FOR THE TURNING HEARTS PARENT CONFERENCE DURING SUNDAY SCHOOL AND HIGHPOINT. FOLLOWING HIGHPOINT, HE WILL LEAD ONE OF THE MOST MOVING EXPERIENCES--A KNEE TO KNEE CONVERSATION. PARENTS AND THEIR TEENS ARE STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO ATTEND THIS LUNCHEON. THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF OUR CHURCH BETTER EQUIPPING YOU!
A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013

VOLU NTEER SPOTLIGHT

KIM FENDLEY

ENGAGE

THE INCONSISTENCY OF CONSISTENCY

EQUIP

FAKE LOVE, FAKE WAR

EMPOWER

IDOL OF SUCCESS

STUDENT MINISTRY STAFF

Matt Hubbard
Lead Student Pastor
FAVORITE DUCK DYNASTY CHARACTER: Godwin FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE: Braveheart

Melissa Sponer
Girls Ministry Associate
FAVORITE DUCK DYNASTY CHARACTER: Jase Robertson FAVORITE CHICK FLICK: Pride and Prejudice

Ross Spigner
Middle School Pastor
FAVORITE DUCK DYNASTY CHARACTER: Uncle Si FAVORITE ACTION MOVIE: The Bourne Trilogy

Amanda Beach
Ministry Assistant
FAVORITE DUCK DYNASTY CHARACTER: Uncle Si FAVORITE CHICK FLICK: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

From Our Heart

! My heart as the Girls Ministry Associate at Immanuel is to see girls grow into Godly young women through one-on-one discipleship and equip them in Gods Word. One of the joys of girls ministry is getting to be involved with girls of all ages and stages. And if Im being really transparent, I see some of the same issues crop up in my own heart from time to time that look a lot like the issues I deal with concerning middle or high school girls. The truth is Im not immune to the issues in the Girl World just because Ive graduated from high school. Recognizing this, does help keep me accountable. Am I living out my life in a way that if one of the girls were to imitate me, others would see Christ? ! My desire (for myself) and the the girls, is to live out Titus 1:1; proclaiming their faith in Christ, continuing with their knowledge in the truth, which will in turn lead them to live out a life of godliness. The concept of girls ministry can be traced back to numerous passages in Scripture. Whether it be the mentoring relationship shared between Ruth and Naomi or the bond between Mary and Elizabeth, the concept of older women investing in the lives of younger women is found throughout the Bible. ! ! As we evaluate where our culture is today, the need for these kinds of relationships exists now more than ever. Girls are facing more and more pressures with every passing day, yet so many lack the spiritual foundation needed to stand strong in times of temptation. So many girls today are struggling with what it means to be a woman, much less a godly one. This is why Im passionate about providing an environment for girls where the truth is taught. ! It has been a joy to watch girls grow in their faith, live out loud for Christ, and share the Gospel with others. I look forward to this new year with the opportunity to invest in the middle school and high school girls. I always go into a new year with the mindset that Im going to be teaching them, when in reality, they always teach me something new! Im excited to discover what Gods going to teach me through the girls this year!

A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013 A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013

WEB ON THE

s Parent r o f e c r The Sou ents rld Par o W l a e R

im Kim NT by Dr. T IN PRI e on m o atters h and H c Mark B r y u b h n C re ing ter ur Child Connect and Af ound Yo mel

g' Ar ' Durin Circles e g r o in f y e a B Pr ect: s Conn t n e r anklin a P Doug Fr y b ) Helping k -Boo (FREE E ip r T n Missio

VOLUNTEER SPOTLIGHT
KIM FENDLEY
MY FAMILY: TOM (HUSBAND) ZACH (SON...25) KYLIE (DAUGHTER...24) MAYCEE (DAUGHTER...17) I TEACH 6TH-8TH GRADE GIRLS DURING THE 10:30 HOUR. 11 YEARS. ANYWHERE THAT IT IS WARM AND HAS WATER. TRAIL MIX THE STORY OF ESTHER I SURVIVED A DEADLY DIAGNOSIS OF BREAST CANCER.

WHERE I SERVE: I HAVE SERVED FOR:

MY DREAM VACATION DESTINATION IS: MY FAVORITE SNACK FOOD IS: MY FAVORITE BIBLE STORY IS:

MOST PEOPLE DONT KNOW THIS ABOUT ME:

Turning Hearts Parent Conference

A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013

2013 / September
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The Gathering 5:30 meal 6:15 worship

MS Girls Pancakes and Pajamas

MS Girls Pancakes and Pajamas

Richard Ross Conference HS DGroups Kickoff

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Student Worship MS (5:45-7:15) HS (6:15-8:00) Student Worship MS (5:45-7:15) HS (6:15-8:00) Student Worship MS (5:45-7:15) HS (6:15-8:00)

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COMING SOON

OCTOBER 6 HS PARENTS MEETING OCTOBER 11-13 MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL FALL RETREAT @ SHEPHERD OF THE OZARKS OCTOBER 16 THE GATHERING | INTERGENER ATIONAL WORSHIP 5:30-6:15 MEAL, 6:15-7:30 WORSHIP OCTOBER 27 FRIEND DAY JANUARY 17-19 DNOW

A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013

ENGAGE

THE INCONSISTENCY OF CONSISTENCY

Promotion Sunday everyday!
We recently started up a new ministry year. Wednesday nights are back in full gear. Students have promoted to new classes with new teachers. Our new year is o to a rousing start with regards to attendance numbers and excitement from students. But you--we--know this all too well. Most every new school year, ministry year, etc. starts o with great excitement and involvement, only to slowly wane throughout the rest of the year. Some might point ngers at lack of interest in a church program or exhaustion from school activities and practices. Though lack of interest or exhaustion may be the result, the reality is that consistency is hard to grasp and even harder to schedule. Sadly, the most consistent thing in many teenagers lives is inconsistency. At this point, many parents throw up their hands, let out a huge sigh (or scream), and say its just for a few more years. They (and often I) essentially surrender to school and social schedules, scholarship pursuits, and selsh desires. What we often do not realize is that these few more years are the most formative in regards to faith development AND what they will in turn practice and pass on to their families. So, we understand that inconsistency is possibly the most consistent thing in the life of a teenager...I get it. But is that it? Lets take a brief look at some of the basic things that are consistent in the life of a teenager...

friends with may be a little inconsistent, their desire to have friends and spend time with friends is very consistent. The amount of time spent on social networks (ex. Facebook, Instagram, Vine, etc.) is staggering. Sleep, Food, Shelter--Duh, right? Now, I know the amount of sleep may vary or the meal times may change, but these are consistent.

rst thing that leads to inconsistencies in our faith as well. Now please hear my heart, I am not, nor will I, keep a scorecard. I am just wondering in the world of inconsistency in which our teenagers live, what if we made a shift. What if what really matters most to you, which for many of us are faith and family, became at least equally consistent in the lives of our families...in the lives of our teen...as those areas that do not really matter as much to us (ex. school, social, etc.)? After all, its not just your family or your teenager thats at stake. Its your teenagers eventual teenager at stake as well!

School--As dicult as it is for a teenager to admit, school is essential. Its the gateway to college, a career, nancial independence, etc. Papers, summer readings, pop quizzes, etc., these are consistent with school. Practices, plays, awards banquets, etc... all part of school. School is not going away any time soon. Social--Friendships are HUGE in the life of teenagers. Though who your teen is

You may notice that I left some pretty major things o the list. As I started thinking about what I see as being consistent in our teenagers lives from a student minister perspective...looking at our families, not just a family...some of what used to be consistent just 5-10 years ago are not so anymore. Some of these include: Family and/or Family Time--This used to be very consistent. The work day used to be 8-10 hours, now it seems to require 25. Families used to have just one mom or dad, even in divorce situations. Now there are multiple moms and dads. Families used to sit down at least a couple of times a week and have a meal together. Families used to take family vacations together, now their family vacations are centered around sports tournaments. Now, this is not across the board, but for an increasing number of our families, family or family time is no longer consistent. Church/Faith--Church is still very consistent in the lives of a number of our families, but for an ever-increasing number of our families, church is not a consistent part of their lives. I know how dicult it is to make church involvement consistent in todays culture. For many of us, 2 of 4 Sundays (50%) is consistent. As I started thinking more about this in my own life, can I really consider my church involvement consistency on the same scale as school or work in my case? In other words, if my job requires X hours and I give X hours, I consider that consistent. Then why, when church involvement requests (not requires) X hours, I only give 1/2 X hours and feel good about considering church involvement as a consistent part of my life? Now Im referring to church involvement, but often waning or questioning church involvement is the

WHAT IF AS MUCH TIME WAS DEVOTED TO GETTING SPIRITUALLY PREPARED FOR EACH DAY (EX. BIBLE STUDY, PRAYER, WORSHIP, ETC.) AS WE DO GETTING READY FOR FRIDAY NIGHTS BALLGAME? WHAT IF AS MUCH TIME WAS SPENT HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY AS TIME ON SOCIAL NETWORKS?

In closing, please consider the following pointers to help you lead your family with the Kingdom perspective... Prioritize--Just because it is a good thing, does not necessarily mean it is the right thing for your teen or family to do. Parent--Do not be afraid to parent your teen. Help them make the right decisions. Sometimes that requires that you make dicult decisions. God has given you your kids for a reason--to know Him and make Him known! Pray--Be sure to seek the Lords face before making big and small decisions regarding your teen and family. If you are a disciple of Christ, your rst commitment is to Him, then your spouse and family, and then your church. Pray with these biblical priorities in mind as you process through and make the necessary, tough decisions in leading your teen to be

A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013

more like Jesus...in leading your family to be more like Jesus. Remember, I am with you on this journey step-for-step. If I can help in any way, please let me know! By Matt Hubbard, Lead Student Pastor

pornographic image. He's entrapped in an ever-expanding kaleidoscope. There's a key dierence between porn and gaming. Pornography can't be consumed in moderation because it is, by denition, immoral. A video game can be a harmless diversion along the lines of a low-stakes athletic competition. But the compulsive form of gaming shares a key element with porn: both are meant to simulate something, something for which men long. Pornography promises orgasm without intimacy. Video warfare promises adrenaline without danger. The arousal that makes these so attractive is ultimately spiritual to the core. Satan isn't a creator but a plagiarist. His power is parasitic, latching on to good impulses and directing them toward his own purpose. God intends a man to feel the wildness of sexuality in the self-giving union with his wife. And a man is meant to, when necessary, ght for his family, his people, for the weak and vulnerable who are being oppressed. The drive to the ecstasy of just love and to the valor of just war are gospel matters. The sexual union pictures the cosmic mystery of the union of Christ and his church. The call to ght is grounded in a God who protects his people, a Shepherd Christ who grabs his sheep from the jaws of the wolves. When these drives are directed toward the illusion of ever-expanding novelty, they kill joy. The search for a mate is good, but blessedness isn't in the parade of novelty before Adam. It is in nding the one who is tted for him, and living with her in the mission of cultivating the next generation. When necessary, it is right to ght. But God's warfare isn't forever novel. It ends in a supper, and in a perpetual peace. Moreover, these addictions foster the seemingly opposite vices of passivity and hyper-aggression. The porn addict becomes a lecherous loser, with one-esh union supplanted by masturbatory isolation. The video game addict becomes a pugilistic coward, with other-protecting courage supplanted by aggression with no chance of losing one's life. In both cases,

one seeks the sensation of being a real lover or a real ghter, but venting one's reproductive or adrenal glands over pixilated images, not esh and blood for which one is responsible. Zimbardo and Duncan are right, this is a generation mired in fake love and fake war, and that is dangerous. A man who learns to be a lover through porn will simultaneously love everyone and no one. A man obsessed with violent gaming can learn to ght everyone and no one. The answer to both addictions is to ght arousal with arousal. Set forth the gospel vision of a Christ who loves his bride and who ghts to save her. And then let's train our young men to follow Christ by learning to love a real woman, sometimes by ghting his own desires and the spirit beings who would eat him up. Let's teach our men to make love, and to make war . . . for real. By Dr. Russell Moore, President of the Southern Baptist Conventions Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission

EQUIP
(NOTE: IBC Student Ministry does not necessarily endorse the content and viewpoints expressed in these articles.They are posted here for purposes of keeping you informed as to what is happening in the world of youth culture.)

FAKE LOVE, FAKE WAR: WHY SO MANY MEN ARE ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN AND VIDEO GAMES
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/ posts/fake-love-fake-war-why-so-manymen-are-addicted-to-internet-porn-andvideo-games You know the guy I'm talking about. He spends hours into the night playing video games and surng for pornography. He fears he's a loser. And he has no idea just how much of a loser he is. For some time now, studies have shown us that porn and gaming can become compulsive and addicting. What we too often don't recognize, though, is why. In a new book, The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It, psychologists Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan say we may lose an entire generation of men to pornography and video gaming addictions. Their concern isn't about morality, but instead about the nature of these addictions in reshaping the patten of desires necessary for community. If you're addicted to sugar or tequila or heroin you want more and more of that substance. But porn and video games both are built on novelty, on the quest for newer and dierent experiences. That's why you rarely nd a man addicted to a single

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Twitter

Vimeo

A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013

EMPOWER

rule our hearts: a reputation for success. Its so easy to lose sight of the fact that these are Gods children. They dont belong to us. Theyre not given to bring us glory, but him. Our kids are from him, they exist through him, and the glory of their lives points to him. Were only agents to accomplish his plans. Were only instruments in his hands. Our identity is rooted in him and his call to us, not in our children and their performance. As parents, were in trouble whenever we lose sight of these vertical realities. Whenever parenting is reduced to our hard work, the childs performance, and the reputation of the family, it becomes very hard for us to respond with seless faithfulness in the face of our childs failure. God-ordained moments of ministry will become moments of angry confrontation lled with words of judgment. Instead of leading our needy child to Christ once again, well beat them with our words. Instead of loving, well reject. Instead of speaking words of hope, Middle School Worship
September 4! September 11 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Topic: TBD (The Gathering) Topic: In Christ, God has given our daily relationships greater signicance and purpose. One Thing: What are some examples of what a family might look like if they related to each other as to the Lord? Topic: In Christ, we clearly comprehend that our enemy is not physical and we are able to stand rm and wage war with spiritual weapons. One Thing: Is there anything going on in your life that feels like a war is taking place? Guest Speaker:

IDOL OF SUCCESS
HTTP://PAULTRIPP.COM/ARTICLES/POSTS/THE-IDOL-OF-SUCCESS

I listened as the father said to me in the presence of his teenage

son, Do you know what its like to go to church and know that everyone there has been talking about and praying for your rebellious son? Do you know what its like to enter a service with all eyes on you, knowing that people are wondering how its going and how you and your wife are coping? He continued. This isnt the way its supposed to be. We tried to faithfully do everything God called us to do as parents, and look what we ended up with! I ask myself, if I knew that this was the way it would all turn out, would we have ever chosen to have children? I cant describe how disappointed and embarrassed I am.

High School Worship

September 4 September 11

Topic: TBD (The Gathering) Topic: Temptation And the Art of Rising Above it (Jesus temptation to bow to Satan) One Thing: What are some things that you have bowed to that didnt give you the satisfaction you expected?

September 18

Topic: Hurt--Divorce One Thing: What are some of the things that your friends from divorced families have to deal with that you may not have to deal with?

September 18! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

September 25

Guest Speaker

September 25!

That afternoon, with his son listening, that father spoke what many parents have felt but never verbalized. You see, we tend to approach parenting with expectations as if we had hard-and-fast guarantees. We think that if we do our part, our children will become model citizens. We tend to approach parenting with a sense of ownership, that these are our children and their obedience is our right. These assumptions pave the way for our identity to get wrapped up in our kids. We begin to need them to be what they should be so that we can feel a sense of achievement and success. We begin to look at our children as our trophies rather than Gods creatures. We secretly want to display them on the mantels of our lives as visible testimonies to a job well done. When they fail to live up to our expectations, we nd ourselves not grieving for them and ghting for them, but angry at them, ghting against them, and, in fact, grieving for ourselves and our loss. Were angry because theyve taken something valuable away from us, something weve come to treasure, something that has come to

well condemn. Our feelings will be ooded much more with our own embarrassment, anger, and hurt than with grief over our wayward childs standing with God. I want to ask you today to be honest. Examine your own heart. Do you have an attitude of ownership and entitlement? Have you subtly become ruled by reputation? Are you oppressed by thoughts of what others think of you and your child? These questions no, let me rephrase that these idols need to be confronted if were ever going to be the parents that God has called us to be. So be honest. Confess to areas of parental idolatry. But be lled with hope, because Christ died to break the back of our selfabsorbed idolatry. God is intent on owning our hearts unchallenged. His goal is that our lives would be shaped by our worship of him and nothing else. And, hear this: while God is at work in your own heart, at the same time, he has sent you to be his ambassador in the heart of your child.
By Dr. Paul Tripp, Professor/Christian Counselor

A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013

IBC STUDENT MINISTRY

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A publication of IBC Student Ministry. www.ibclrstudents.org 2013