Embaracing Your True Self

Embracing our true self
Lose yourself in Me
Lose yourself in Me
And you will find yourself.
Lose yourself in Me
And you will find new life.
Lose yourself in Me
And you will find yourself
And you will live, yes
You will live in my love.
Unless a grain of wheat
Falls into the ground
It still remains but a grain of wheat
But if it falls and dies
Then it bears much fruit
So it is with those
Who lose themselves in Me.
Lose yourself in Me
And you will find yourself.
Lose yourself in Me
And you will find new life.
Lose yourself in Me
And you will find yourself
And you will live, yes
You will live in my love.
Embracing our true self
| First session
A. Quotes from great thinkers Pg 1

B. Identities and their constructions
| Second session
A. Self as object Pg 6
B. Self as subject
| Third session
A. Guided meditation Pg 9
B. Characteristics of the true self
Recognizing our false self
| First session
A. Understanding our inner demons Pg 12
B. Process of identification
| Second session
A. Renewing your mind Pg 16
B. False self in relation to sin
C. Transcending the false self
First Session
Story : From a Chicken to an Eagle
A naturalist was visiting a farmer one day and was surprised to see a beautiful
eagle in the farmer’s chicken coop. "Why in the world, asked the naturalist, have
you got this eagle living in with the chickens?"
"Well, answered the farmer, I found him when he was little and raised him in there
with the chickens. He doesn’t know any better, he thinks he is a chicken." The
naturalist was dumbfounded. The eagle was pecking the grain and drinking from the
watering can. The eagle kept his eyes on the ground and strutted around in
circles, looking every inch a big, over-sized chicken. "Doesn’t he ever try to
spread his wings and fly out of there?" asked the naturalist. "No, said the
farmer, and I doubt he ever will, he doesn’t know what it means to fly."
"Well, said the naturalist, "let me take him out and do a few experiments with
him." The farmer agrees, but assured the naturalist that he was wasting his time.
The naturalist lifted the bird to the top of the chicken coop fence and said
"Fly!" He pushed the reluctant bird off the fence and it fell to the ground in a
pile of dusty feathers. Next, the undaunted researcher took the ruffled
chicken/eagle to the farmer’s hay loft and spread it’s wings before tossing it
high in the air with the command "FLY!" The frightened bird shrieked and fell
ungraciously to the barn-yard where it resumed pecking the ground in search of
it’s dinner. The naturalist again picked up the eagle and decided to give it one
more chance in a more appropriate environment, away from the bad examples of
chicken lifestyle. He set the docile bird on the front seat of his pickup truck
next to him and headed for the highest butte in the country. After a lengthy and
sweaty climb to the crest of the butte with the bird tucked under his arm, he
spoke gently to the goldenbird. "Friend, he said, you were born to soar. It is
better that you die here today on the rocks below than live the rest of your life
being a chicken in a pen, gawked at and out of your element." Having said these
final words, he lifted the eagle up and once more commanded it to "FLY!" He tossed
it out in space and this time, much to his relief, it opened it’s seven-foot
wingspan and flew gracefully into the sky. It slowly climbed in ever higher
spirals, riding unseen thermals of hot air until it disappeared into the glare of
the morning sun. The naturalist smiled and thought how happy he was with his days
work. Like the eagle, he had for many years, let other people define his worth and
direct his life for him. Like the eagle, it had taken a life and death situation
for him to realize his self worth and real calling in life.
It took courage to change occupations in mid-life and face the disappointments of

those who believed he couldn’t possibly leave his accounting firm and be
successful in the physically challenging occupation of a park ranger. But, just
like the eagle, he had risen out of the abyss of self-doubt and stretched his soul
toward new horizons. "Actually, mused the naturalist, I never doubted that
beautiful bird - If I could do it, I knew he could too!"
The moral of the story, of course, is to not let other people define our self-
worth or keep us under their limiting and oppressive influence. -Anonymously
written.
What we are depends on what we believe to be true about ourself. That is the very
first spiritual axiom, "As a man believes, so it is for him."
There are two ways of looking at oneself, (1) through the eyes of a chicken, or
(2) through the eyes of an eagle. The way we relate to ourselves, those around us
and the world, is determined by what we accept to be true.
"Christ could be born a thousand times in Galilee - but all in vain until He is
born in me."
- by Angelus Silesius (a 17th century mystic)
Gnothi Seauton – Know Thyself
These words were inscribed above the entrance to the temple of Apollo at Delphi,
site of the sacred Oracle.
What those words imply is this: Before you ask any other question, first ask the
most fundamental question of your life: Who am I?
Your sense of who you are determines how you see the world. It is like the lens we
wear. If we wear red lens we see everything red.
A. Quotes from great thinkers

"‘Who am I’? is the ultimate question to which everybody must find an answer."
- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
"Without first knowing yourself, how can you know what is true? Illusion is
inevitable without self-knowledge."
- J. Krishnamurti, Commentaries on Living – First Series, p 13
"We labour unceasingly to preserve an imaginary existence and neglect the real."
- Blaise Pascal
"The reason human civili-zation is tired, depressed, unimaginative in dealing with

unemployment, pollution, youth despair, injustice, and inequality is that we ‘do
not even know who we are,’ as Hildegard puts it."
- Matthew Fox, The Coming of the Cosmic Christ, p 43
"Until we find ourselves, God remains remote, a shadowy figure, to some

unimportant, to others terrifying."
- Gerard W. Hughes, God of Surprises, p 10
"Lord, may I know myself in order that I might know you."
- St. Augustine
"…because of consciousness man both knows himself and knows God, and because man
knows God only in so much as he knows himself, the greater the degree of self-
knowledge, the greater the degree of divine knowledge – or rather, knowledge of
the divine."
- Bernadette Roberts, What is Self? A Study of the Spiritual Journey in Terms of

Consciousness, p 153
"He who knows himself knows God." - St. Clement
"For me to become a saint means to be myself. Therefore the problem of sanctity

and salvation is in fact the problem of finding out who I am and of discovering my
true self."
- Thomas Merton
B. Identities and their constructions
"Identities refer to the way we defines oneself in relation to the other, and in
the process one constructs ‘boundaries’".
- George Pattery, Doing Things Differently: South Asia and GC 35 in Review of

Ignatian Spirituality no. 113, p 77
I am… I am…
| Name:
| Name:
| Race:
| Race:
| Citizenship:
| Citizenship:
| Achievements:
| Achievements:
| Religion:
| Religion:
| Profession:
| Profession:
| Title:
| Titles:
| Hobby/Interest:
| Hobby/Interest:
| Health:
| Health:
| Physique:
| Physique:
| Colour:
| Colour:
a lover of God
a bringer of light.
a Chinese.
an Indian
a Malaysian.
a Singaporean
a 12As student.
a champion.
a Christian.
a Buddhist.
a teacher.
a lawyer.
a CEO.
a President.
a stamp collector.
a bird-watcher.
a diabetic.
a fitness freak
handsome.
pretty.
black.
white.
| Age:
| Age:
| Metaphor:
| Metaphor:
| Past:
| Past:
| Perception:
| Perception:
| Emotion:
| Emotion:
| Emotion:
| Emotion:
| Possessions:
| Possessions:
| Roles:
| Roles:
| Not me/not mine:
| Not me/not mine:
| Gender:
| Gender:
a teenager.
an adult.
the Queen of hearts. an Iron Lady.
a failure.
an ex-convict unworthy.
a conservative.
angry
happy.
depressed.
peaceful.
a millionaire
a house owner.
a brother.
a sister.
not like him.
not my past.
a male
a female
My identity is based on:
I am …
Name
Race
Citizenship
Achievements
Possessions
Roles
Religion
Profession
Titles
Hobby/interests
a lover of God.
a Chinese.
a Malaysian.
a champion.
a car-owner.
a son.
a Christian.
a lawyer.
a CEO.
a fitness freak.
a Black.
a consumer.
Exercise: journaling and prayer
Write down whatever comes to your mind as many "I am this" or "I am that" as
possible without much thinking.
Then based on the list write a short autobiography of yourself that you can be
really proud of in not less than two hundred words.
After this go into silence and solitude and thank God for the gift of self. Use
Psalm 103 or 1 John 4: 7-16 for prayer. Ask God for the grace: Give me O Lord a
deep experience of being loved by you.
Exercise: points for reflection and prayer b4 next session
For next morning. Use text Philippians 2:5-11 "…but he emptied himself taking the
form of a slave…" to prepare for next morning prayer before they retire for the
night. Ask God for the grace: Help me to know myself that I might know you better.
Second Session
After breakfast, play the song "I am," by Hilary Duff.

I'm an angel, I'm a devil
I am sometimes in between
I'm as bad it can get
And good as it can be
Sometimes I'm a million colors
Sometimes I'm black and white
I am all extremes
Try figure me out you never can
There's so many things I am
I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
I'm powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I'm miserable
Sometimes I'm pitiful
But that's so typical of all the things I am
I'm someone filled with self-belief

I'm haunted by self-doubt
I've got all the answers
I've got nothing figured out
I like to be by myself
I hate to be alone
I'm up and I am down
But that's part of the thrill
Part of the plan
Part of all of the things I am
I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
I'm powerful
Unstoppable
I'm a million contradictions

Sometimes I make no sense
Sometimes I'm perfect
Sometimes I'm a mess
Sometimes I'm not sure who I am
I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
I'm powerful
Unstoppable
Of all the things I am
Of all the things I am
A. Self as object
What role has memory or selective memory played in the construction of your
identity? What have you conveniently left out?
Can you talk of identity without memory?
How many of you believe that what you have written is the totality of who you
really are?
If not the totality, it is really who you are?
The self is a fascinating topic. Looks like we all know ourselves, do we not?
Yet, we are often strangers to ourselves. The truth is we think we know ourselves.
We may know something about ourselves but that is not the same as knowing
ourselves.
When we know something about ourselves, we become the object known (self as
object), which is a complex of (objective) ideas, feelings, identities, valuations
and so on.
But when we know ourselves as we are without labels, ideas, etc, we become the
knowing subject (self as subject).
The self as object is a mental construct which is subject to change any moment.
Because we can see and know it objectively this "subject’ is often mistaken as our
true self.
The whole clinical field in psychology is really the psychology of knowing

something about the self – it is about the object known.
"As soon as someone asks, ‘Who are you? Tell me about yourself,’ you will begin to
search your memory for pertinent facts of what you have done, seen, felt, or
accomplished in the past. Indeed, claims Krishnamurti, the very feeling that you
now exist as a separate entity is itself based entirely on memory"
- Ken Wilber, No Boundary, p 65
"A teacher in India once said, ‘Personality is a mistaken identity.’ As we become

identified with these created aspects, we conclude this is who we are, rather that
this is what I constructed to perceive myself. Another way of saying it is this is
a self lens that I created, and it will define me and my world."
- Stephen Wolinsky, Quantum Consciousness: The
Guide To Experiencing Quantum Psychology, pp 90-91
"You cannot possibly say that you are what you think yourself to be! Your ideas
about yourself change from day to day and from moment to moment…It is utterly
vulnerable, at the mercy of a passerby. A bereavement, the loss of a job, an
insult, and your image of yourself, which you call your person, changes deeply."
- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That, p 56
"Each of us has an image of what we think we are or what we should be, and that
image, that picture, entirely prevents us from seeing ourselves as we actually
are."
- J. Krishnamurti, Freedom From The Known, p 23
"Anything you know about [you] cannot be you."
- Alfred Korzybski, quoted in Stephen Wolinsky,
Quantum Consciousness: The Guide To
Experiencing Quantum Psychology, p 162
B. Self as subject
"The great tragedy for many of us is that in growing up, we become self-made,
independent successes who are weighed down with thoughts of the past and worries
about the future. We lose touch with our true self, the person God created us to
be. We live off-center and alienated from who we really are."
- Albert Haase, OFM, Coming Home to Your True Self, p 19
"Therefore, there is one problem on which my existence, my peace and my happiness

depend: to discover my self in discovering God. If I find him I will find myself
and if I find my true self I will find him."
- Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, pp. 35-36
"We need to return to being who God created us to be and stop being who we are
not. We need to come home to the true self."
- Albert Haase, OFM, Coming Home to Your True Self, p 19
Is it possible for us to do a kind of "kenosis" or self-emptying in order to

embrace our true self just as Jesus Christ "empties" himself (Philippians 2:7) to
take on the human condition?
Or is it possible for us to stand "naked" before God?
Or can we "get to zero" so that at zero we can just be and thus allows us to
connect from being to being at the now moment?
What does it mean to "empty" ourselves, stand "naked" or "get to zero?" It means
to:
Forget all you know about yourself
Forget all you have ever thought about yourself.
Leave all remembrance of yesterday behind.
Begin to understand yourself for the first time as you really are.
Get a volunteer to come forward and write his/her list of "I ams" on the white
board.
After that ask him/her to strike of one by one from the last to the first if the
sense of self is
not intrinsic to oneself.
Or ask "Who are you prior to your labels, ideas, images, concepts, information
about you?"
I am…
a bird-watcher.
an adult. Phenominal Self (Personality)
handsome. Functional Self (Outer Self)
a smiling tiger.
a failure. Divine Christ consciousness
what I eat. GOD True self / image of God / I AM

a conservative.
troubled.
great.
happy. The hole is not part of a donut
angry. neither is the donut part of the hole
not my past. But without the hole, it is not a donut.
"To know what you are, you must first investigate and know what you are not. And
to know what you are not…"
"...you much watch yourself carefully, rejecting all that does not necessarily go
with the basic fact: ‘I am’".
"The ideas: I am born at a given place, at a given time, from my parents and now I
am so-and-so, living at, married to, father of, employed by, and so on, are not
inherent in the sense of ‘I am’".
"But whatever can be described cannot be yourself, and what you are cannot be
described. You can only know yourself by being yourself without any attempt at
self-definition and self-description."
"I can say: ‘I am’, but what I am I cannot say. I know I exist, but I do not know
what exists. Whichever way I put it, I face the unknown."
"All you can say is: ‘I am not this, I am not that’. You cannot meaningfully say
‘this is what I am’. It just makes no sense. What you can point out as ‘this’ or
‘that’ cannot be yourself."
"If you ask me: ‘Who are you?’ My answer would be: ‘Nothing in particular. Yet, I
am.’"

"The divine name from Exodus 3:14, ‘I am who I am,’ is appropriated by Jesus who
shows us how to embrace our own divinity. The Cosmic Christ is the "I am" in every
creature."
- Matthew Fox, The Coming of the Cosmic Christ, p 154
"His presence is present in my own presence. If I am, then He is. And in knowing
that I am, …the indefinable ‘am’ that is myself in the deepest roots, then through
this deep centre I pass into the infinite ‘I AM’ which is the very Name of the
Almighty."
- Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude, p 70
"Our reality, our true self, is hidden in what appears to us to be nothingness and
void…And this is why the way to reality is the way of humility which brings us to
reject the illusory self and accept the "empty" self that is "nothing" in our own
eyes and in the eyes of men, but is our true reality in the eyes of God.
- Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, p 281
"In experience, the true self in its oneness with the divine is felt to be a
continuous burning inner flame, whereas the phenomenal self is ever changing,
moving, coming and going…Where the true self is unknown, the phenomenal self
consists of all the experiences we usually think as self—various energies,
feelings, emotions, thinking and all mental functioning."

Consciousness, p 69
"While the true self is known to exist and be one with the divine, its true
nature, essence or ‘what’ it is, is unknown. Merely to label this aspect of
consciousness as the ‘unconscious self’ or the ‘true self’ does not tell us ‘what’
it is; all it tells us is ‘that’ it is."

Consciousness, p 35
"In this unitive state we identity with Christ in the words of St. Paul, ‘No
longer I, but Christ lives in me.’ Thus our true self is hidden with Christ in
God, inseparably one with God through Christ."
- Bernadette Roberts, The Experience of No-Self, A Contemplative Journey, p 149
"It is not I who live, but Christ who lives in me." - Galatians 2:20
Question for reflection:

"Is the contemplative journey a process of becoming one with God, or is it the
process of stripping away the superficial layers of self in order to realize, in
all its great reality, a union that has always been there?"
- Bernadette Roberts, The Path to No-Self – Life at the Center, p33
John 15:4-7 "Abide in me and I in you…" or
Romans 8: 35- 39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?..."
Ephesians 3: 14-19 "…so that Christ may live in your hearts…"
Ask God for the grace: That I shall always remain in your love.
Mystic – simply means authentic mature person.
Third Session
"Christ set us free, so that we should remain free. Stand firm, then, and do not
let yourselves be fastened again to the yoke of slavery."
- Galatians 5:1
"After all, brothers, you were called to be free; do not use your freedom as an
opening for self-indulgence, but be servants to one another in love."
- Galatians 5:13
"…you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." - John 8:32
"But if the truth is to make me free, I must also let go of my hold upon myself,
and not retain a semblance of self which is an object of a ‘thing.’ I, too, must
be no-thing. And when I am no-thing, I am in the All, and Christ lives in me."
- Thomas Merton, "Introducing a Book," Queens Work, p. 10
"Our usual attitude is of ‘I am this’. Separate consistently and perseveringly the

‘I am’ from ‘this’ or ‘that’ and try to feel what it means to be, just be, without
being ‘this’ or ‘that’"
(motionless)
future still point
here
subject object attraction repulsion
me I AM now you
past
See saw
A. Guided meditation
Imagine yourself watching a movie in a cinema. You are the watcher or observer of
the movie. The movie is your thoughts and feelings and desires. Watch them come
and go, come and go. Then change your focus in the opposite direction and pay
attention to the watcher or observer. What do you feel or experience?
The following to be slowly recited to the retreatants while in meditation so as to

help them realize as vividly as possible the import of each statement.
I have a body, but I am not my body. I can see and feel my body, and what can be
seen and felt is not the true Seer. My body may be tired or excited, sick or
healthy, heavy or light, but that has nothing to do with my inward I. I have a
body, but I am not my body.
I have desires, but I am not my desires. I can know my desires, and what can be
known is not the true Knower. Desires come and go, floating through my awareness,
but they do not affect my inward I. I have desires but I am not my desires.
I have emotions, but I am not my emotions. I can feel and sense my emotions, and
what can be felt and sensed is not the true Feeler. Emotions pass through me, but
they do not affect my inward I. I have emotions but I am not my emotions.
I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts. I can know and intuit my thoughts, but
what can be known is not the true Knower. Thoughts come to me and thoughts leave
me, but they do not affect my inward I. I have thoughts but I am not my thoughts.
- Ken Wilber, No Boundary, pp.114-115
So who are you? You are not objects out there, you are not feelings, you are not
thoughts —you are effortlessly aware of all those, so you are not those. Who or
what are you?
You cannot be seen. No part of you can be seen because you are not an object. Your
body can be seen. Your thoughts can been seen but you are not any of those
objects. You are the observing presence or witnessing awareness right now.
"Once an observer begins to appreciate that he is not his thoughts, feelings,

emotions, but rather an observing presence, a process of dis-identification is
inaugurated."
- Stephen Wolinsky, Quantum Consciousness: The Guide To Experiencing Quantum

Psychology, p 16
"What makes the present so different? Obviously, my presence. I am real for I am

always now, in the present, and what is with me now shares in my reality...it is
my own reality that I impart to the present event."
Reading Materials
Thomas Keating
Deepak Chopra
Story – Zen master about reputation.
B. Characteristics of the true self
10 characteristics of the true self: (cf Fr. Albert Haase, OFM, Coming Home to
Your True Self , p 24)
Relational
Self-giving
Unflappable and unthreatened
Focused on the here and now
Contemplative approach to life
Wonder and Awe
Trustful surrender
Compassionate
Awareness of being a spoke in the larger wheel of creation
Passion for peace and justice.
The true self experience is an experience of abiding oneness with the divine
(unitive state).
How do we deepen our oneness with Christ?
1. "‘By doing it,’…Doing the truth means living out of the reality which He who is
the truth, making His being the being of ourselves."
2. ’By remaining in Him,’… i.e. by participating in His being. ‘Abide in me and I

in you,’ he says. The truth which liberates is the truth in which we participate,
which is a part of us and we a part of it.
3. "The truth that liberates is the power of love, for God is love…Love liberates
from the father of the lie because it liberates us from our false self to our true
self- to that self which is grounded in true reality. Therefore, distrust every
claim for truth where you do not see truth united with love."
- (cf Paul Tillich, A New Being in Religion-Online)
See 2 John 1-6: on living a "life of truth" and "life of love", which for John the
truth is "walking in love".
4. "The knowledge of the Son, and belief in his name, in the Gospel means a
participation in the being of Christ; this is conveyed completely, concretely,…by
an invitation to eat his flesh and to drink his blood, so that the disciples will
become of one substance with him."
- Ravi Ravindra, Christ The Yogi, p 192
"We are not human beings with spiritual experience, but spiritual beings with
human experience."
- Teilhard de Chardin
Personal Prayer
Text 2 John 1-6: The truth as "walking in love" - living a life of truth and
living a life of love.
Ask God for the grace that you will always remain in his truth and love.
What’s driving me? Some are driven by survival/security. Others by

affection/esteem. Still others by power/control, etc. If you find it difficult to
answer, then ask "what are the things or people that easily upset or disturb me?"
Next morning prayer. 2nd Samuel 11:1-27, 12:1-6. Ask God for a deep knowledge of
my own sinfulness.
Recognizing our false self
First Session
A. Understanding our inner demons
"We labour unceasingly to preserve an imaginary existence and neglect the real."
- Blaise Pascal
"One of the most widespread errors of our time is a superficial ‘personalism’

which identifies the ‘person’ with the external self, the empirical ego, and
devotes itself solemnly to the cultivation of this ego. But this is the cult of a
pure illusion, the illusion of what is popularly imagined to be ‘personality’ or
worse still ‘dynamic’ and ‘successful’ personality."
- Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, p 281
"I cannot live with myself any longer." This was the thought that kept repeating
itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was.
"Am I one or two?" If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: The ‘I’
and the ‘self’ that ‘I’ cannot live with." "Maybe," I thought, "only one of them
is real."
- Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now, p 1
Do you know of people who:

Keep acquiring things, etc, in order to increase their self-worth and to impress
and gain the respect of others?
Often suffer from the "poor me" syndrome and wallow in self-pity. Why me? What’s
wrong with me?
Are experts at playing the "victim" - for them blame is the name of the game? Good
at fixing the blame!
Like to justify oneself at the expense of others by resorting to lies and deceits?
Believe they are the best and measure everything according to their own standards
and demand that others should treat them with respect?
Insist that they are always right and must win at all cost because they cannot
afford to lose face? Result: hot/cold wars.
Are easily insulted, offended, or hurt when they perceive their self-importance or
self-image is under attacked? I am so hurt or you have hurt me…blah, blah, blah.
Are smart at playing one-upmanship or playing one against another?
Have an obsession for popularity, hunger for approval and like to show-off?
Have a strong will-to-power and a tendency to dominate or control others or

situations? Control freaks!
Use guilt trips, emotional blackmail, threats, deceptions, lies, and ultimatums to
get what they want?
Are weighed down by the past, fearful of the future, but resist the eternal now?
Crave attention and so will do anything to draw attention to themselves. Always

talk about ‘me,me,me, I, I, I’?
Enjoy finding fault with others: always complaining, criticizing, gossiping,

bitching, and running down others?
Have a tendency to compare with others for better or for worse?
Misusing sexuality for exploitation or lustful pleasure.
These are a few glimpses of how the false self comes alive.
Ego is the totality of our self-experience that is centred solely on and around
itself .
The false self is often referred to as the ego (acronym meaning Edging God Out)
and on it we stake our whole life.
"The term ‘ego’ articulates a specific experience. Its best articulation might be
this: the ego is what we feel when self-will is crossed, blocked or otherwise
thwarted. It is the psychological pain that underlies all tantrum behaviours—
anger, hitting back, revenge, anxiety and much more…the ego is first and foremost
the feeling-self—it is not, primarily at least, the knowing self."

Consciousness, p 4
"In the egoic state we regard our self-image or self-reflection as not true to our
deepest self."

"Thus if our self-image is unclear or false we can hardly expect to have a true
image of God."

According to James Hollis, a Jungian analyst, generally speaking "who I think I

am" is the ego state.
This definition is close to what Rene Descartes (who unwittingly discovers the
root of the ego) says, "I think, therefore I am,"
"The consciousness that says ‘I am’ is not the consciousness that thinks."
- Jean-Paul Sartre (about 500 years later)
"Our false self is who we think we are. It is our mental self-image and social
agreement, which most people spend their whole lives living up to – or down to."
- Richard Rohr, Adam’s Return, quoted in James Martin, SJ, Becoming Who You Are, p
20
"You do not know what you are and therefore you imagine yourself to be what you
are not."
How false self come about ?
The false self or ego grows out of our capacity and tendency to see the self as a
thing or object separate from other things.
Because there’s "I," therefore there has to be "other" and that immediately sees a
physical world of separation or duality
"From Meister Eckhart to Mary Daly, the sin behind all sin is seen as dualism.
Separation. Subject/object relationships…take any sin…every action is treating
another as an object outside oneself. This is dualism. This is behind all sin."
- Matthew Fox
B. Process of identification
Process of identification:
(cf Echkart Tolle, A New Earth p 35)
Identification is subtle and unconscious.
The word "identification" is derived from the Latin word idem, meaning "same" and
facere, which means "to make".
So when I identify with something, I "make it the same." The same as I.
I endow it with a sense of self, and so it becomes part of my "identity".
One of the most basic level of identification is with things when we say my car,
my house, etc.
However, we are never really attached to a thing but a thought that has "I" "me"
or "mine" in it.
"Identification is essentially a thought process by which the mind safeguards and

expands itself; and in becoming something it must resist and defend, it must own
and discard…identification destroys freedom."
- J. Krishnamurthi, Commentaries on Living – First Series, p 5
"The ‘me’ exists only through identification with property, with a name, with a
family, with failures and successes, with all the things you have been and want to
be. You are that with which you have identified yourself; you are made up of all
that, and without it, you are not."
- J. Krishnamurthi, Commentaries on Living – Third Series, p 76
"So why are we attached? I am attached to my country because through

identification with it I become somebody. I identify my self with my work, and the
work becomes important…The object of attachment offers me the means of escape from
my own emptiness."
- J. Krishnamurti, Commentaries on Living Second Series, p 5
Biblical texts: Why are we attached ?
Jesus’s temptation in the desert (Lk:4:1-13)
Establish himself by doing: turning stones into bread.
Establish himself by what people think of him so that others would recognize
himself as the Messiah.
Establish himself by having all the power and kingdoms in the world.
- M. B. Pennington, True Self False Self, p20

Six beliefs underlying the ego systems
I am what I have. My possessions define me.
I am what I do. My achievements define me.
I am what others think about me. My reputations define me.
I am separate from everyone. My body defines me as alone.
I am separate from all that is missing in my life. My life space is disconnected

from my desires.
I am separate from God. My life depends on God’s assessment of my worthiness.
- Dr. W. Dyer, The Power of Intention, p10
"Everybody sees the world through the idea he has of himself. As you think
yourself to be, so you think the world to be. If you imagine yourself as separate
from the world, the world will appear as separate from you and you will experience
desire and fear."
Biblical texts: (Gen 3:6-13)
"The symbolism in the story of the Fall implies that, prior to Eve eating the
fruit, Adam and Eve were unified. They were part of each other, as symbolized by
Eve having been created from Adam’s ribs. They had no awareness of each other as
separate beings.
…The curse of Eden, if we want to call it such, was that once Adam and Eve saw
themselves as separate, mistrust, doubt, and division entered the world. From that
time onwards, we would always be struggling to be reunited with ourselves, with
each other, and with God."
- Leo Booth, When God Becomes a Drug, p 27
"A human being is part of the whole, called by us ‘Universe’; a part limited in
time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something
separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This
delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to
affection for a few persons nearest us."
- Albert Einstein
"When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or

anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you
are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by
belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking
to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any
political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of
mankind."
- J. Krishnamurti, Freedom From the Known, p 65
"It is the idea of who we are that separates us from who we are."
- Alfred Korzybski, quoted in Stephen Wolinsky,
Quantum Consciousness: The Guide To Experiencing Quantum Psychology, p 162
"What is it that we defend, that we so carefully guard? Surely it is the idea of

ourselves, at whatever level. If we did not guard the idea, the centre of
accumulation, there would be no ‘me’ or ‘mine’…The idea of ourselves is wholly
superficial; but as most of us live on the surface, we are content with
illusions."
- J. Krishnamurti, Commentaries on Living, First Series p 90
On healing separateness:
"As you did it to one of the least of these my brethen, you did it to me…As you
did not do to one of the lease of these, you did it not to me." - Matthew 25:40,45
Use text Ephesians 4:22-24:
"…your mind must be renewed by a spiritual revolution so that you can put on the
new self …" or
Use text Galatians 5:16-25 "…be guided by the Spirit…"
Ask God for a profound sorrow and remorse for my sinfulness.
Second Session
A. Renewing your mind
True self? False self?
The ego’s basic instinct is to survive; it refuses to die and so it seeks

substitute gratifications to keep itself alive by running after 10 "Empty Ps" or
promises.
Pleasure Popularity
Praise People
Power Productivity
Prestige Possessions
Position Perfection - cf Albert Haase, OFM, Coming Home to Your True Self, p 39
"We no longer identify with the concocted false self made up of what I do, what I
have, and what others think of me. I know that I am, existing within and ever
flowing forth from the Divine Creative Energy of the I AM."
- M. Basil Pennington
"The false self is a human construct built by selfishness and flights from
reality. Because it is not the whole truth of us, is not of God. And because it is
not of God, our false self is substantially empty and incapable of experiencing
the love and freedom of God."
- Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
Characteristics of the ego:
The ego’s strategy is to defend and attack in order to survive.
The more it defends, the greater the attack.
The ego is a separatist.
The ego is a terrorist.
The ego is a parasite.
The ego is an imposter.
The ego is dysfunctional.
"In fact, mind itself is not the problem. But our identification with it is. In
other words, ego has identified with the contents of mind believing them to be
real and therefore giving them the power to create our reality."
- Amoda Maa Jeevan, How to Find God in Everything, p 107
"To know that you are a prisoner of your mind, that you live an imaginary world of
your own creation is the dawn of wisdom."
Eg. prisoners in self captivity. Who are the prisoners of their own thoughts ?
The guilt stricken – lonely lives, running away, regret, hiding their shame & stay
stuck in live.
Suicide bombers – very angry, bitter, resentful, highly toxic & can blow
themselves anytime.
The chicken hearted – deep seated fears, play safe, dare not take risk
Worldly and materialistic – greed appetite to own more

The live for others – prisoners of other people approval
Romans 12 : 1-2 Renewal of the mind
Philippians 2 : 5-6
Ephesians 4 : 22-24
"After all, it is the mind that creates illusion and it is the mind that gets free
of it."
"Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is
your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by
the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good
and acceptable and perfect." - Romans 12:1-2
"Have this mind among yourselves, which was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in
the form of God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself…" - Philippians 2:5-6
"You must give up your old way of life; you must put aside your old self, which
gets corrupted by following illusory desires. Your mind must be renewed by a
spiritual revolution so that you can put on the new self that has been created in
God’s way, in the goodness and holiness of the truth."
- Ephesians 4:22-24
B. False self in relation to sin
"Jesus takes away the sin of the world (John 1:29)…It is one thing which alienates
the world from God: sin, not sins. What is it that underlies the sinfulness of
men?"
- J. Edgar Bruns, The Art and Thought of John, p 62
"In conclusion we may say that sin, the sin from which those who listen to the
word of Jesus are absolved, is first of all a false and corroding sense of self-
sufficiency – which preclude the operation of grace – , and secondly but
consequently, a failure to love. The sin which dooms to death is persistent
refusals to examine one’s presuppositions, to continue saying ‘we see.’"
- J. Edgar Bruns, The Art and Thought of John, p 75
"To say I was born in sin is to say that I came into the world with a false
self...Being someone that I was never intended to be and therefore a denial of
what I am supposed to be. And thus I came into existence and non-existence at the
same time because from the very start I was something that I was not."
- Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, pp. 33-34
"Here Merton equates sin with the identity-giving structures of the false self…
For Merton, the matter of who we are always precedes what we do. Thus, sin is not
necessarily an action but rather an identity. Sin is a fundamental stance of
wanting to be what we are not."
- James Finley, Merton’s Place of Nowhere, p.31
If who we are always precedes what we do then every decision we make is not about
what we do but who we are.
So am I the problem or few bad deeds the problem?
If few bad deeds: "I have lied so I better stop lying," etc.
Solution: simply to stop doing that bad deed – or start doing good deeds.
So salvation becomes nothing more than doing good things and avoiding the bad.
Such a solution does not need Jesus Christ, who take away the sin of the world
(John 1, 29).
Or Jesus Christ simply becomes a model of doing the right things.
Have we watered down salvation when we don’t see that we (our false self) are the
problem?
Deliver us from evil (our false self)?
Get rid of our ego?
"Is not the desire to get rid of the ego itself a manifestation of the ego?"
- Chuang Tzu
"When ego is master, there is hell, when ego is servant, there is heaven."
- Ravi Ravindra, Christ the Yogi, p.162
"He must increase, I must decrease." - John 3:30
C. Transcending the false self
"If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily
and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his
life for my sake, he will save it," said Jesus to all.
- Luke 9:22
"And so we must come to recognize and acknowledge our false self, but even more to
acknowledge the true self that sleeps within us like Lazarus in the tomb waiting
for the voice of Jesus to awaken us to life."
- James Finley, Merton’s Place of Nowhere, p88
It is not a matter of how to get rid of the ego, but how to face it or better
still see through it. Unless we do so, we will always be quick to demonize others.
If the ego is what we think ourselves to be, then to face the ego is to uncover
the ways of our own thinking and to understand the process of identification.
"What we think, we are; but it is the understanding of the process of thought that
is important, and not what we think about."
- J. Krishnamurti, Commentaries on Living, First Series, p 173
"Watch your mind with great diligence for there lies bondage and the key to
liberation."
- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That,
Read As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. It mirrored the same concept. A great book
and I highly recommend reading it.
Watch your thoughts; They become words.
Watch your words; They become deeds.
Watch your deeds; They become habits.
Watch your habits; They become behaviors
Watch your behaviors; They become character.
Watch your character; They become your destiny.
Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny
Note : Talking to self loudly on the street is the same as talking silently in
one’s mind. An active mind.
"It depends on the state of your mind. And that state of mind can be understood
only by yourself, by watching it and never trying to shape it, never taking sides,
never opposing, never agreeing, never justifying, never condemning, never judging
– which means watching it without any choice."
- J. Krishnamurti, Freedom from the Known, p 38
"Only by understanding the false as false is there freedom from it."
- J. Krishnamurti, Commentaries on Living – Second Series, p 94
"The ego is like an iceberg. Ninety percent of it is underwater. As we observe it,

the submerged begins to move into the light of observation, and melts in the light
of awareness."
- Meher Baba, quoted in Stephen Wolinsky, Quantum Consciousness: The Guide To

Experiencing Quantum Psychology, p 34
"…but anything shown up by the light will be illuminated and anything illuminated
is itself a light. That is why it is said: ‘Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.’" - Ephesians 5: 13-14
Remember who you really are and deepen your oneness with God in Christ regularly.
See the false self as false.
Don’t dramatize, energize it and you will feel less threatened by it.
Embracing good and bad with equanimity and serenity if there is nothing we can do
to change the situation.
Self-awareness: the power to know yourself.
Be ruthlessly honest or truthful with oneself and when you are ready, share the
truth with others.
Be in the truth of the present moment NOW– all that is sensing in the body,
thinking in the mind, feeling with the emotions.
Be utterly aware of and in touch with reality exactly as it is. Don’t suppress it
and don’t support it.
Different stages of self

10 Christ consciousness
9 Causal Self
8 Subtle Self (Mother Theresa)
7 Pychic Self (St John of the cross) an active mind
6 Integrated Self
5 Rational Self
4 Role Self
3 Conceptual Self (images, symbol)
2 Biological Slef (emotional self)
1 Body Self (physical self) a controlled mind ( calmness )
Questions for reflection:
How obsessed am I with what I have, what I do, and what people think of me?
How much emotional energy do I expend in chasing after the "Empty Promises"?

Ephesians 5:10 -14.
Ask God for the grace to follow Christ closely so as to walk in the light always.
John 5:1-9. Ask God for
Inner healing of the wounds and hurts received from others. END

Embaracing Your True Self

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Embracing our true self

And you will find yourself.

And you will find new life.

And you will find yourself

And you will live, yes

You will live in my love.

Unless a grain of wheat

Falls into the ground

It still remains but a grain of wheat

But if it falls and dies

Then it bears much fruit

Who lose themselves in Me.

And you will find yourself.

And you will find new life.

And you will find yourself

And you will live, yes

You will live in my love.

Embracing our true self

A. Quotes from great thinkers Pg 1

B. Characteristics of the true self

Recognizing our false self

A. Understanding our inner demons Pg 12

A. Renewing your mind Pg 16

B. False self in relation to sin

C. Transcending the false self

Story : From a Chicken to an Eagle

It took courage to change occupations in mid-life and face the disappointments of

- by Angelus Silesius (a 17th century mystic)

Gnothi Seauton – Know Thyself

A. Quotes from great thinkers

- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

- J. Krishnamurti, Commentaries on Living – First Series, p 13

"The reason human civili-zation is tired, depressed, unimaginative in dealing with

- Matthew Fox, The Coming of the Cosmic Christ, p 43

"Until we find ourselves, God remains remote, a shadowy figure, to some

- Gerard W. Hughes, God of Surprises, p 10

"Lord, may I know myself in order that I might know you."

- Bernadette Roberts, What is Self? A Study of the Spiritual Journey in Terms of

"He who knows himself knows God." - St. Clement

"For me to become a saint means to be myself. Therefore the problem of sanctity

B. Identities and their constructions

- George Pattery, Doing Things Differently: South Asia and GC 35 in Review of

| Not me/not mine:

| Not me/not mine:

the Queen of hearts. an Iron Lady.

not like him.

My identity is based on:

Exercise: journaling and prayer

After breakfast, play the song "I am," by Hilary Duff.

I'm someone filled with self-belief

I'm a million contradictions

Can you talk of identity without memory?

If not the totality, it is really who you are?

The whole clinical field in psychology is really the psychology of knowing

- Ken Wilber, No Boundary, p 65

"A teacher in India once said, ‘Personality is a mistaken identity.’ As we become

- Stephen Wolinsky, Quantum Consciousness: The

Guide To Experiencing Quantum Psychology, pp 90-91

- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That, p 56

- J. Krishnamurti, Freedom From The Known, p 23

"Anything you know about [you] cannot be you."

- Alfred Korzybski, quoted in Stephen Wolinsky,