FIQH OF MARRIAGE

AFTER THE NIKAH There is great importance of the first night after marriage, as it has a lasting effect on the entire marriage. This night should not be taken lightly; rather great importance and emphasis should be given to it, as things done on this night can be a cause for the ending of a marriage Normally, the husband and wife would be strangers on this night. Neither individual should expect their desires to be completely fulfilled, or expect one another to be open and willing. Both partners should be gentle and considerate, and both should put the rights of the other partner before their own. They should commence with the Islamic greeting. The husband then should place his hand on the hair on the head or forehead of his wife and recite the following dua: Allahumma inni as-aluka min khairiha wa khairi ma fiha wa khairi ma jabaltaha alaihi wa aoodhu bika min sharriha wa sharri ma fiha wa sharri ma jabaltaha alaihi (Oh Allah! I ask you the goodness of her that goodness which is in her and the goodness upon which you have created her and I seek your protection and refuge from her evil and the evilness which is in her and the evil upon which she has been created). Thereafter, both the husband and wife should perform two rakaat of nafl salah with the intention of both salatul hajaat (to bless the marriage) and salatush-shukar (to thank allah for the marriage). They can perform this prayer individually or with congregation (if read with congregation, the wife should stand behind the husband). Thereafter they should both make dua for a blessed marriage and pious offspring. Afterwards they should read some islamic literature, then talk to one another, get to know each other etc. The husband should speak to the wife very tenderly and lovingly. The husband should not hasten to break the virginity of the wife. It is not necessary for the couple to perform intercourse on the very night of the marriage. Even if it takes days or weeks, its not a problem. He should be extremely gentle, tender and patient with his wife, keeping in mind the girls considerable anxiety and pain. The husband should keep in mind that girls are modest and bashful by nature, and will not take the initial step. The husband should not take this in a negative stance on her behalf. He should give her time to make her familiar with himself. Some men are not able to break the virginity of the girl the first time due to bashfulness, so they should not consider this to be an illness or disease of any sort, and he should not take this to be a shortcoming on his behalf. A husband should never have any evil thoughts or assumptions regarding his wife if it appears to him that her hymen is broken. Islamically, a virgin woman is a woman who has not been married before, regardless of whether her hymen is broken or not. There are many ways in which a womans hymen can break. Illness, falling, jumping, sports activities, heavy menstrual periods, and being unmarried for a long time can all be causes of a womans hymen breaking. For the husband, having evil thoughts and assumptions regarding his wife without any concrete evidence would be a major sin. Enjoyment should not be the sole purpose behind intercourse; along with enjoyment, intercourse should be performed with three intentions: the intention of being blessed with pious offspring, the

intention of refraining from that which is unlawful (fornication, adultery, etc.), and the intention of removing liquids from the body (as they are harmful for the body). If intimate relations are carried out with these intentions, it will be a means of reward for the couple and will be considered an act of charity. There is no specific ruling regarding how often intercourse should be performed, however the recommended amount (from hadith) is once a week. It is the right of the wife to have intercourse at least once in four months. Denying the wife her right longer than four months is considered haram, and is a grave sin on the husbands part. The wife also has the right of the night. A man can be wherever he wishes during the day, but at night he should be with his wife. If he does not do so, he will not be fulfilling the right of his wife.