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STUDY GUIDE The 4th Secret of the One Minute Manager

A Powerful Way to Make Things Better


By: Ken Blanchard and Margaret McBride

Course Developed By: Chris Matchim CNHA


This learning packet was developed by Approved NAB Ceus, Inc.
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DEAR STUDENT,
The 4th Secret of the One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard and Margret McBride, teaches leaders on all levels how to accept responsibility for their errors and deal with the cause of the damage, all the while, maintaining a genuine sense of integrity. This course will help you understand how to effectively increase your self-worth and develop a culture of honesty and integrity-based communication in your facility. Many smart and seemingly successful people can get far off track and lose sight of what is really important. We see them compound their mistakes by not admitting any wrongdoings and not apologizing for their actions in a way that makes good sense by changing their behavior. What can you do when you discover that in business or in life, you have been wrong and need to apologize to people you have harmed in a way that can turn a bad situation into a good one? Many people, when confronted with an error in judgment, refuse to take responsibility, become defensive and angry and make a bad situation worse. People will hear the rationalizations and excuses for the mistake, but these rationalizations and excuses leave them unmoved. Many will not offer the opportunity to set the record straight and restore confidence. However, the secret is to see the problem from a new perspective. The toughest part of turning around a bad situation is realizing and admitting that you were wrong. Phrases like should have, could have, would have, and if only are time wasters that keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving forward with your best course of action. They get in the way of being honest with yourself. They are looking back at things you cannot change, not a new way to make things better.

The First Three Secrets of the One Minute Manager The First Secret: One Minute Goals - All good performance starts with clear goals. To improve performance, the simplest and easiest way is to make sure people have clear goals. The secret of OneMinute Goals is simply for all parties to agree on goals upfront so that all know what good behavior looks like. The Second Secret: One Minute Praising - The key to developing people will always be to concentrate on catching them doing something right rather than something wrong. Tell people upfront that you are going to let them know how they are doing. There are three main things to emphasize with praising: be immediate; be specific; and share your feelings about their work. Remember to praise progress even if it is only
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approximately right. Perfect behavior is a journey that happens one step at a time.

The Third Secret: One-Minute Reprimands. Hold people


accountable. The first alternative for poor performance should be redirection, which means going back to goal setting, trying to find out what went wrong and getting them back on track. Never reprimand or punish a learner -- you'll immobilize them. If you are dealing with somebody who knows better, then a One-Minute Reprimand might be appropriate. There are three main things to emphasize with: be immediate; tell people exactly how you feel about what they did wrong; reaffirm that you think well of them but not of their performance in this situation. Your intent is to get them back on course, not to try to make them feel badly. Remind them how much you value them. Realize that when the reprimand is over, it's over. All people make mistakes. When they are wrong, how can they get back on track fast and effectively? The answer is: The Fourth Secret the One Minute Apology. The power of the One Minute Apology lies with a persons actions, intentions and sincerity, not in what they say. It is more than just words. Dishonesty poisons relationships. If people dont admit mistakes and deal with them right away, trust and respect are lost and careers and relationships are damaged. So, apologizing has the potential not only to correct a wrong, but also to restore the confidence others have had in you. In a One Minute Apology, there is no time for excuses, selfvictimization or drama. Its simple, to-the-point, clear and very effective. Although saying it only takes a minute, being completely honest with yourself and taking responsibility for your mistakes before you apologize takes longer. At the core of most problems is a truth being denied. Any problem begins to spin out of control the minute you avoid dealing with the truth. People who pretend, it never happened or that it wasnt my fault are in denial because they have lost touch with the truth. They cannot apologize because they rationalize that they are not at fault. They cannot admit they are wrong. Most people are afraid to confront the truth. There are two vital parts to the One Minute Apology: honesty and Integrity. A One Minute Apology begins with honesty and ends with integrity.
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HONESTY
Honesty and admitting you are wrong are about you and coming to grips with what you did - and then making sure that anyone you harmed knows that you know you made a mistake. This requires letting go of being right. One minute of being honest with yourself is worth more than days, months, or years of self-deception. Kidding yourself is an expensive habit that has no reward. Selfdeception comes at a high price. Being honest with yourself, taking full responsibility for what you did and any harm done to someone else requires both humility and courage. Great leaders give credit when things go right and take responsibility when things go wrong. Selfcentered leaders take credit when things go right and blame everyone else when things go wrong. When you are honest, you realize that you must let go of excuses and realize you need to apologize to anyone youve offended, regardless of the outcome. The problem with trying to be right all the time is that you try to make someone else wrong. The longer you wait to apologize, the sooner your mistake is regarded as a weakness. If apologies were accepted as legitimate responses to making mistakes, then honesty would replace cover-ups. We all make mistakes. What loses trust and respect of others is when we refuse to admit our mistakes. Then people conclude that if we cant be honest about our error, we lie about other things as well. Anyone harmed would feel better right away. So apologizing is not just about ourselves, its about the people weve wronged. This is why it is important to be specific and say exactly what you are apologizing for. When you are specific about what you did wrong, share how you feel about what you did and admit you are embarrassed, sad or ashamed, you make your apology real. Without sharing your feelings, an apology will seem insincere and mechanical, like youre going through the motions without being personally involved. A One Minute apology begins with honesty: Admit to yourself youve made a mistake and need to apologize. Have a sense of urgency and apologize as soon as possible. Tell anyone youve harmed specifically what you did wrong. Share any feeling you have about the mistake.
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INTEGRITY
Honesty is telling the truth to ourselves and others. Integrity is living with that truth. When you have integrity, youre honest regardless of the situation, who youre with and where you are. A One Minute Apology to yourself about your past is a way to realign who you have been with who you want to be. The legacy you leave is the one you live. No one is perfect. We all do things that are inconsistent with who we think we are. People measure your integrity by how quickly you correct your mistakes and get back on course. There is a big difference between an explanation and an excuse. An explanation is the reason why something happened, and an excuse is an attempt to cover up and not be accountable. A person can always find an excuse for bad behavior. Its not just words that make a great One Minute Apology. Our behavior makes the apology powerful. Making amends shows were sincere about earning back lost trust but we never get trust back until we change our behavior and make amends in a way the other person can appreciate. Without a change in behavior, just saying, Im sorry is not enough. A One Minute apology ends with integrity. You have integrity when: You recognize that the mistake you made is inconsistent with who you want to be. You reaffirm that you are better than your behavior and forgive yourself. You recognize how much you may have hurt someone and make amends to that person for the harm you caused. You make the apology complete by changing your hurtful behavior.

The Not Attached to Outcome (NATO) approach can be applied to just about anything. Enjoy what is being done right now instead of worrying about next week. With regard to the One Minute Apology, apologize not for the outcome but because you know you were wrong and its the right thing to do. Do not apologize just to make someone feel better. That is a lie. Remember that just because you dont remember an incident
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does not mean you did not cause someone harm. We might dismiss an incident as trivial or be too busy or distracted to think about how our actions might affect someone else. Dismissing someones words, opinions and ideas can slight a person and make them feel like they dont count with you. When we sincerely apologize, forgive ourselves, make amends and demonstrate weve changed, we get something extra: peace of mind. Even if you remember something you didnt do and feel it is much too late to do anything about it, it is not too late. Never assume you know what the other person is thinking. If it is the right thing to do, do it, regardless of the outcome. The best way to apologize to someone you have harmed is to tell that person, I made a mistake, I feel bad about it, and Im committed to not letting it happen again. Every One Minute Apology you give or receive makes you more aware of how your behavior affects other people. If you are more sensitive about the effects of your behavior, perhaps others will follow your example.

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
Culpability is a fancy way of saying that each of us has a responsibility no matter where we are. When problems develop, we have to ask ourselves what we did to contribute to or exacerbate the problem. Sometimes its the result of an action weve taken but more often it is the result of something we didnt do. When we dont own up to how we contributed to the problem, we are not being honest.

CONFIDENCE
What stops people from being honest, admitting theyre wrong and apologizing? It has to do with how you feel about yourself your selfworth. Fate (the parents you were born to, your gender, etc.), early life experiences, your lifes successes and failures, and your perception of all three contribute to self-worth. The most powerful of these sources of self-worth is the last. It is from your perception of your fate, early life experiences, and successes and failures that you make all your choices. People who have trouble apologizing, think that who they are is a function of their performance, plus the opinion of others. They are concerned with appearances. When people look to others for approval,
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their self-worth varies from day to day, depending on how others react to them. People with humility dont think less of themselves, they think of themselves less. To keep the right perspective, remember to separate who you are from what you do living NATO (Not Attached To Outcome). You do not have to self-promote or impress others to get love. There is no way you can achieve enough, gain enough recognition, obtain enough power, or own enough things to get more love. You have all the love you need. You had it from the day you were born.

APOLOGIZING TO YOURSELF
Oftentimes, you find yourself playing along, going with the program, protecting the deceptions, concerned about yourself. You convince yourself nothing is wrong when, honestly, you do suspect something is wrong but dont want to admit it to yourself or anyone else. By not confronting the truth, you unconsciously help others get into trouble. You cannot control the outcome of events, but you can control what you think and what you do. Do not allow fear to drive your behavior. Apologize to yourself for any behavior youre not proud of. Resolve to avoid repeating that behavior. Repair the damage youve done to yourself and others by behaving differently. That is how to make things better.

ASKING FOR A ONE MINUTE APOLOGY


People are often hurt or heartbroken because the people who have disappointed them didnt have the courage to apologize when an apology is deserved. What can be done? Begin by asking for an apology. When you have the courage to ask for an apology, you are also showing respect for yourself whether you get the apology or not. You are also letting that person know how important your relationship is. Asking for an apology from others shows them how important they are to you and demonstrates your own self-worth. If they refuse to apologize after they know theyve hurt you, the relationship itself is in question. The beauty of the One Minute Apology is its the best way to make things better for you and the people you care about. The One Minute Apology is an effective way to correct a mistake and restore the trust needed for a better relationship.

The 4th Secret of the One Minute Manager Pre-Test 1. The first three secrets of the One Minute Manager include One Minute Ideas. a) b) True False

2.

The power of the One Minute Apology lies with a person's actions, __________, and sincerity, not in what they say.

a) b) c) d)

Aptitude Intentions Ability All of the above

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Apologizing has the potential not only to correct a wrong, but also to ____________ the confidence others have in you.

a) b) c) d)

Change Discover Restore Win

4.

In a One Minute Apology, there is no time for __________, selfvictimization or drama. a) b) c) d) Complaining Dishonesty Excuses None of the above

5.

At the core of most problems is a __________ that is being denied. a) b) c) d) Confrontation Problem Truth All of the above

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A One Minute Apology begins with ___________ and ends with integrity. a) b) c) d) Honesty Information People A problem

7.

Taking full responsibility for what you did and any harm done to someone else requires ___________ and courage. a) b) c) d) Humility Effective leadership Self-awareness Action
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8.

When you have __________, youre honest regardless of the situation, who you are with, or where you are. a) b) c) d) Character Integrity Determination Self-awareness

9.

Its not just words that make a great One Minute Apology. Our __________ makes the apology powerful. a) b) c) d) Behavior Sincerity Influence All of the above

10.

Dismissing someones words, opinions and ______________ can slight a person and make them feel like they dont count with you. a) b) c) d) Feelings Honesty Integrity Ideas

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The best way to apologize to someone you have harmed is to tell that person I made a mistake, I feel bad about it and I am __________ to not let it happen again."

a) b) c) d)

Not going Committed Reminding myself Trying

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Culpability is a fancy way of saying that each of us has a ____________ no matter where we are. a) b) c) d) Talent Responsibility Attitude Contribution

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By not ___________ the truth, we unconsciously help others get into trouble. a) b) c) d) Telling Explaining Confronting Understanding

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14.

When you have the courage to ask for an __________, you are also showing respect for yourselfwhether you get the apology or not. You are also letting that person know how important your relationship is. a) b) c) d) Opportunity to speak Apology Honest answer Affirmation

15.

The One Minute Apology is an effective way to correct a mistake and restore the ________ needed for a better relationship. a) b) c) d) Balance Trust Loyalty Vision

16.

The beauty of the One Minute Apology is its the best way to make things better for ___________ and the people you care about. a) b) c) d) Yourself Your Coworker Your mother All of the above

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17.

A One Minute apology ends with integrity. You have integrity when: a) b) c) d) You recognize that the mistake you made is inconsistent with who you want to be. You reaffirm that you are better than your behavior and forgive yourself. You make the apology complete by changing your hurtful behavior. All of the above

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Just because you dont remember an incident does not mean you did not cause someone harm. a) b) True False

19.

You cannot control the outcome of events, but you can control what you think and what you do. a) b) True False

20.

_________ is a fancy way of saying that each of us has a responsibility no matter where we are. a) b) c) d) Probability Responsibility Culpability All of the above

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Please let me share a little background about my company. My two nephews are administrators for a couple of Nursing Homes in Florida, and I am a retired college educator. Many years ago, they advised me to start this company, and it took me until 2002 to listen to them. Now I really enjoy the opportunity that I have to share education in another method. I personally want to thank you for your order, and taking our NAB/NCERS approved online Continuing Education courses. We look forward to your return when you need some additional Continuing Education courses from ApprovedNABCeus.com. If you like what you see, please tell your friends about our Website. Make sure to mark the box at checkout, so you will receive our gift of a free Wal-Mart Gift Card. This is our way to say THANKS for taking our courses. Kindest Regards, David Lee President Approved NAB Ceus Inc.

"It's not what happens to you, that determines how far you will go in life; It is how you handle what happens to you." Zig Ziglar

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Once you have mastered the objectives presented in this course, you will be ready to take the Final Test. FINAL TEST GUIDELINES The Final Test must be taken within 90 days of purchase date. After the 90-day period the link below will expire and access will be denied. FINAL TEST PROCEDURES 1. Access the Final Test See access link directly following these procedures. 2. Log In Enter your username and password. Enter the required information exactly as it appears on your professional license. Once you have entered your information, click the Start Test button. 3. Take the Test Read each question and select the correct response. Once you have answered all of the questions and completed the course evaluation, click the Submit Test Now button. 4. Review Your Results You will receive the results of your test immediately. If you score 70% or more, you will receive a link to download and print your Certificate of Completion. To view your Certificate of Completion, select the Download Your Certificate button, which will open a new browser window. For best results when printing, change orientation from Portrait to Landscape. To access your certificate in the future, please save a copy to your computer or flash drive. To access the Final Test, click on the link below:

http://hosted.onlinetesting.net/approvednabceus/login.pl?CEU4S19
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