Application for Best Bud #2

My life is full of awesomeness. I play Ultimate Frisbee, Im really good looking, Ive got a pretty
big booty (ladies please hold your panties), Ive got a very large variety of quirky jokes, and lets
face it Im probably one of the most average coolest person ever. Lately Ive noticed a void in my
life and thats having 2 best friends. Currently best friend #1 is held by Mr. Zach Frerich but the
position of best friend #2 is open. Please fill out the following application for the position.
Name/Nickname (cool nick names are a must): _______________________________________
Age (explain):_____
Gender (girls are welcomed): if male:________ If Female: 21 or 22
Wingman Rating (13-57): _____
Employment (must have a awesome job with lots of free stuff I can have):
___________________________________________________________________________
Where do you live (with area code obviously):________________________________________
Best 5 Qualities:________________________________________________________________
Can you teach me to Football (explain)?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Crime History (NO HOOLIGANS ALLOWED): Yes/No
Hot Sister: Yes/No

Can you Cook: Yes/No/Only Cereal

Funnyness (scale of 1-11): _____

Are you smarter than me: Yes/No (if no just give up on life)
Do you have a car so you can Chauffeur me around: Yes/No/My Mom Does
Can you get along with current best bud Zach: Yes/No (if yes, explain)
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
When you drink do you________?
a. dance cool

b. get angry c. become more funny d. buy your friends drinks

Please write a short paragraph on our first friend hang out:

______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Please explain why you are best for the best friend #2 position:
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Willing you ditch your girlfriend/boyfriend to hang out with best bud #1 and me? Yes/No
Do you buy your friends food? Yes/No (if no youre out of the running)
Are you:
A. The funny friend that everyone wants to hang out with because of how funny you are (ex.
Aziz Anzari, Chris Farley, Betty White)
B. The strong guy no one will mess with and am willing to fight people for me
C. A hot girl
D. A crazy hot girl
E. Other (please explain):
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Do you have a lot of hot friends that are girls: Yes/No (if no, you better be funny)
Computer skills (pretty much will you fix my computer whenever I need you too)? Yes/No
Do you work for a restaurant that can give me free food: Yes/No/No But Im A Hot Girl
Will your parents love me? Yes/No
where) _____________

Do you have a cool vacation home? Yes/No (if yes,

Did you like the movie You, Me, And Dupree? Yes/Yes
Is Pluto really a planet? Yes/No/Youre An Idiot
Have you ever used a blender? Yes/No/Your Still An Idiot

Have you ever won a wet T-shirt contest? (this question is only for guys) Yes/No
Are you a sox or a packer fan? (If you say anything other than go cubs and bears your dead to
me) _________________________________________________________________________
Would you, oh how did Jerry Maguire say it.., SHOW ME THE MONEY? Yes/No
Favorite Disney Movie? _________________

Hottest Disney Princess? ______________

In 500 letters or less please explain to me why I am cooler than Tom Cruise?
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Do you have a secret talent? _____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Can you do a Back Flip? Yes/No/No but I can do another cool thing

If you do not hear back from me in less than 10 days then I apologize. I hear that fat lady at
McDonalds is looking for a best friend!