Rachel West Traci Cruey Honors Freshman Seminar October 15, 2013 Midterm Reflection College has challenged

me in countless ways, ranging from time management to getting involved socially. For my social life here at UNC Charlotte, the first half of the semester was especially trying. I had made several great new friends, but I was finding myself with a lot more free time than I was used to. I went to a small college preparatory school for high school. There, I was challenged by rigorous academics and spent more time on homework than I do here at UNCC. Of course, I went to school almost eight hours every day in high school, while I am in class for only three hours every day here. Because of the rigorous academics and my perfectionist tendencies, I did not have as much time for hanging out outside of school until my senior year. During my gap year between high school and college, I dated a guy with whom I spent a great deal of time with. My life was basically work, my family, and my now ex-boyfriend. Now that I am single, I have more freedom and time to spend with my friends, regardless of whether they are male or female (a change from the time with my ex-boyfriend). This has allowed me to make several new friends that I may not have before. I can spend time with them without feeling guilty or worrying about making my ex-boyfriend jealous or mad. Despite having more time to get to know people, I still had a tough time transitioning socially to UNCC. The most challenging part of this process has been putting myself out in the open and making friends. I am a quiet person by nature. Only my family and my closest friends (whom I can literally count on one hand) regularly see my true personality. I am spontaneous and I laugh a lot. Sometimes my mental and verbal filter goes down, allowing every random

comment to exit, whether insightful or crazy. As open as I am with those whom I trust, the truth is that I have a hard time trusting people. It takes a while for my walls to fall, and even then, they fall brick by brick. Unfortunately, when only a handful of people know the real you, people tend to misunderstand you. People label me as an introvert because they only see the quiet side of my personality, and I used to accept this label. Now, I see myself as more of an extrovert. The boxes that society has constructed to place people in do not fit me anymore. I am in the balance between Introverted and Extroverted and I love it. My roommate agrees she sees me as a quiet extrovert because I am a people person who happens to be quiet. I now know that I love being around people. On most days, I almost crave interaction with people. I like the feeling of belonging, of being part of something bigger than myself. It is comforting to know that certain people will always be there for me, and that I will always be there for them. I like getting to know new people and listening to their stories, as well as getting to know how and why they think the way they do. Through the process of stepping out of my comfort zone here at UNCC, I am slowly learning that I am not who everyone thinks I am. Therefore, I am not who I have always thought I am. In Sociology, we learned about the Looking Glass Self, which states that A person's self grows out of society's interpersonal interactions and the perceptions of others I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am; I am what I think that you think I am. In other words, we perceive ourselves to be the way we think others perceive us. People have always perceived me as an introvert, and part of me still is. I am, however, embracing the extrovert within me. I am choosing to look beyond my own looking glass self and see my extroverted self, just one of the different parts of me that I never embraced before.

One way that I have come into this extroverted part of me is by getting involved in various organizations on campus. I have found a small family in the a capella group I recently joined. I have found my happy place again in singing. I have met wonderful new friends through faith-based organizations such as C4. These friends are especially encouraging because it has been difficult getting connected with people who hold the same beliefs and values that I do. Even though I love learning about new people and cultures, I have learned that it is easy to lose sight of your own beliefs when you are constantly around people who hold very different ones. You need time to recharge and be encouraged by others who may be struggling with similar issues and who share common core beliefs. Through these relationships, combined with the friendships I had formed before, I see the beginnings of a support system here on campus. This is like the light at the end of the tunnel for me because of the personal struggles I endured from feeling socially out of place and inadequate many times during the first few weeks of school. But as the old saying goes, one must go through the valley to get to the mountaintop. The personal struggles I went through make me appreciate my new friends even more. Reflecting on the struggles also helped me identify my extroverted self, the part of me that loves interacting with people. Without these struggles, I would probably still be stuck in the Introverted box that people (including myself) placed me in. Looking forward, I know that there will be more tough times because there are always lessons to be learned. I take comfort in the fact that one year from now, I will have changed even more. I will be more self-aware and will have made more new friends. I will escape from more of societys labels and boxes, settling comfortably in my own growing knowledge of who I am. I am excited to see these changes take place because they will ultimately help shape who I become within these next few years of college.