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L.A.S.T.C.H.A.N[.C.8.

Let's All SaveThe ChitdrenoHumanity And Needle


CreativeEnergy

This is whereChris lives. JCCCin JeffersonCiW, MO


The founder of this web pageis ChristopherDunn who is serving a life
sentencein JeffersonClty, MO. I rememberriding by a prison there when I
was a kid. I rememberhigh walls and that is about all. I knew it was a prison
and I knew I did not want to go inside. The following is an excerptfrom
Chris'slast letter to me. After readingit I decidedto setup this site for him.

When the justice fails the innocent


be willing to stand and defendthem.

On May 1"8,1990my whole life changed. It was the beginning of the endo
the death of my birth, that's what it seemedlike.

On May 18, 1990at 12:00moving into the midnight hounsthree young


African Americans were sitting outside on the front of a friends home
waiting on their other associatesnot knowing what was waiting for them
just moments later that would changeour lives forever.

From the account of the witnesses,one claimed that I approached them


from the gangway standing betweentwo homes,hiding in the shadowso
with what appeared to be a gun in my hand. He stated that he did not pay
it any mind and didn't tell any of his friends what he saw and continued to
talk He then heard a single gun shot, ducked to prevent the bultet from
striking him; it missedhis head by an inch. He saw the muzzle flash from
the gun' then looked around and heard two more gun shots ant that is
when they started to run eastward. One is shot and falls, a secondyoung
man falls and pretended to be dead, the third continued to run east as he
stated while shotswere still being fired at him.

Demorris continued to run until he was out of site. Michael stated that
while he pretended to be dead he had an opportunity to look up and
claimed to have seenme standing in front of the houseshooting. This was
the first time he had the chanceto realize that anyonewas there other than
him and his two friends. Ricco died from his injuries, one gunshot wound
to the head.

At 2:00 AM the police arrived to my motherts home to arrest me but not


without a fight or questioning them why. The housewas surrounded by
everypoliceon the St. Louis forcerlike I was relatedto OsomaBin Laden
of someterrorist sleepingcell. I wasn't comingout into that messwithout
knowingfor what. The next morning a few callswore made,trying to find
out anythingaboutthe shootingthat night before. I've beenknown as
TRAP sinceI wasa tot, living up to my name.

Well I was later arrested,bookedand chargedwith the murder of Ricco. I


Justdidn't know what to do. I placedmy faith and fate in God and
allowedthe public defendersoflice to representme during my trial, a big
mistake, Jan Good,my trial attorneyneverdid any investigatingnor tried
to gatherinformation. SteveOmarh, the statesprosecutor,knew aswell
that I didn't committhis crime especiallywith two misleadingstatements
of his so calledeyewitnesses.

I lived a normal life, neveruseddrugs,no gangaffiliation and neverdrank


alcohoLl wasfour monthsfrom my twelfth gradegraduation. I had my
own placeand a nicecar. I worked at FlyersPiping Company,wherewe
producedPVC tubing and other products. I had a youngtady in my life
with whom from the fourth gradeto the secondyear after my arrestwe
were a coupleeventhoughshecheatedon me and had someother guy
child.

I found out that I wason the phonewith her while shewasin the hospital
during the time of the crime. Did the attorneycheckinto thls? No. Did
shequestionthe witnesses'credibil$ or accountsof the crime? NO. She
didn't point out that onewitnessclaimedI waswearingsunglasses while
the other saidI had on only a hat. What aboutthe different locationsthe
put me in during the crime? Why didn't shequestionthem asto why did
they wait until after the first shotwasfired? Why didn't shepoint out that
the wltnessclaimedI was 13 to 15 feetawayfrom themwhentiring the
shotsbut whenaskedon the taperecordingif he knewwherethe shots
werecomingfrom he statedNO?

Why didn't shepoint out that the other witnessesdid not seethe muzzle
flash that Demorrisclaimedto see? Why didn't the tapedstatementcome
up during the trial? Why didn't shequestionthe medicalreport which
statesthat the entry woundwasback to front, Ieft to right showingwho
evershotthe victim wasfiring from the left sidenot the right asthey
claimedI stood? Becausethe prosecutorand my trail attorneyprepared
to railroad me and send me up the tracks. Now he is a judge and she is
representing death row inmates.

The St. Louis police knew this casehad somequestionableaccountsbut


they care? No. So here I sit with a life * sentence. 13 Yzyearsof my life
wasted, gone,never to return, lost into the past that has forgotten me.
chris@christopherdunn.ors ohttn://ehriqtonherdunn.ore is my over link
to the outsidecommunity but here I sit behind this wall that's been
standing for over 164 years. If r was on death row, either I would have
been given a new trial or I'd been executedfor a crime I have never done.

I was only 18, born Decemberl2r"1971who cares? Whatever happenedto


justice and thosewho truly found concernin the actual innocenceof people
like me? I never becamea father. I never had a chancewhen I walked into
the court room. I tried to take my own life twice, becauseI thought death
had to be better than this. It didn't work; God had a plan for me. In a
short time I a ministry, a pen pal organization and I've met somebeautiful
people during my journey. Beth and Jesse,Kira and John, Lorna and
M"{y, Collette and the boys you're what r continue to light and live for,
you give me the strength I need and God provides me with the will to never
give up on my dreams.

Don't say that there is justice in a blind eyesystem. Don,t hate your
enemy,thank them and smile. Do I hate the systemyou may ask? No, I
don't. I just want a chanceto prove my innocence.I want what they
wrongfully took f.rom me. MY FREEDOM. IIow would you feel? Be
careful and watchful, be alert and stay focusedbecausethe minute you slip
the cuffs will catch a grip and you're bound to take a long-long trip.

L.A.S.T.C.H.A.N.C.E.is a starting point for thosewho thought it was the


end; we want to provide an altemative to prisons. We want to provide you
with an ear and a helping hand should you fall. r've fallen and even
though r thought it was the end, I reached up to the hands that were
extendedout towards me cared at first but willing to accept a friend, Mrs.
Rosemary nunn, my mother and father Beth and JesseMichael, My aunt
Lorna and Buddy, My uncle John and Lee W.G., my sistersKira and
Arnetta, Mary and Gary Miff, John K. and countlessothers who called out
to me from the ashesof hell to the clouds of heavenI soaredwith the great
spiritual aid of my FAMILY.
I know and understandrl've beenthere where most of you are heading
and you will eventually go and like myself you too will cry out in pain,
praying for the burning sensationto stop,this pain causedby doubt, hurt,
rejection and family frustrations, this pain is bitterness, it's blinding fire
will distract your reasonableand consciousthinking, this pain is the
frustration from financial problems, physical abuseby family or a love
interest or it could be a fear of a particular individual. Trust mer l've been
there and I know the pain. I ask you allolet's talk, let's communicateand
build our self esteemand personalgrowth to a more profound and
spiritual level. Maya Angelou oncewrote a poem call "Still I Rise" . We
all can rise too but let's do this together,as a FAMILY; it's our LAST
CHANCE to make a difference in out lives.

I can recall a old man sent me not long ago,a cool hip talking old man that
I took a personalliking to becausehe camewith a real and sincereinterest
in not only me but in all that would be of God's children. He didn't come
with any lie or con. He cameas himself. This man who wanted to so much
to be a tight in the darknessof many peoplelives. I didn't think there were
peopleout there like him but he proved me wrong. Lee W.G.oI wish to
thank you first for being all you can be.

IF you are a troubled youth and are mad at the world, write Chris and let
him know how you feel. He is where you may be on your way to. Chris
was sentencedto life in prison for a murder he did not commit. This could
happento you. If you are doing the crime can you do the time? Chris
wants to help you. He is on your side. I am on your side.

Christopher Dunn
181654J.C.C.C.
P.O. Box 900
JeffersonCity, MO 65102-0900

@ Copyrightz00z ChristopherDunn
Clay Douglas(Dusfy)Sanders

My nameis Clay DouglasSanders.My friendscall me Dusty. I began


havingproblemsearlyin my life andI hadmy first encounterwith the law
whenI was 13. Thenafter2 violent escapes, 3 timesbeingsearchedfor by
policehelicopters,oncesearchedfor by bloodhounds,oncesearchedfor by a
sheriffs posse,1 armedpolicestandoff 11 stolenvehicles,17 carwreaks,5
truck wrecks,4 timesstabbed,2 timesliterally breakingmy neck,Zbrain
operations,1 time to reformschool,manytimesto jail, 8 drugtreatment
centers,6 timesto the penitentiaryandmuch,muchmorelater. I thenfound
out what my real problemwasin life! And I discoveredmy real problemin
a strangeway.

I wasin prisonfor the fifth time, asinmate#458703,andI wasin what they


call a violatorscamp. It wasn'tmuchof a campthough;it was acb,nllya7
storybuilding in downtownHouston,Texas.No trout fishingthere! (Ha
Ha) Anyway thereI was,lying on my bunk,in a 40 manprisondormitory
andI was readinga book that anotherinmatehad lent me. The book was
titled, "ThePrinceof Tides"andI wasreally gettinginto it, really enjoying
it, whensomethingreally weird happened.I hadgottento a placein the
book wherethe main characterwas talking to a psychiatristacquaintancein
an effort to uncoverany early childhoodtraumasthat may havehad an effect
andplayeda part in the depressions of his sister.

As I was spellboundby the story,the main characters beganto very slowly


andgraphicallyrecountan eventthat happeneda long time agowhenthey
wereboth very young. Someprisonescapees hadtakencontrolof their
home,with themin it, andthe part of that servedasa triggerin my own
mind, waswhenhe beganto slowly describebeingrapedby oneof he
escapees!It waslike the picturethat wascomingto my mind asI readand
what I wasreadingwerenot the same! It wasvery scaryat first; it was like I
waslosingmy mind or something.

To makea long story short,what resultedfrom my readingthat book is that I


leamedthat oneof my uncles,alreadydeceased, hadrapedme whenI was
four anda half yearsold. I was 36 atthe time that I readthe book. What I
laterlearnedwasthatthroughsomevery powerfulpsychological
defense/survivaVprotection
mechanisms,that I had found it appropriateto
Repressthe wholeexperience.SoRepressit I did sowell that evenI was
completelyunawareof being rapedat four anda half until I hit a trigger
some32 yearslater.

Today,I am in prisonfor DWI with a total life long incomeof 820,177.00.


That'stight; I've madein 40 yearswhat a lot of peoplemakein oneyear.
But now I FINALLY know why.

@Copyridht 2002Clay DouglasSanders


ISAIAH6l:1
"Thespirit the Lord God is upponme
of
becausethe Lord hath anointedme to preach
goodtidings unto the meek,he hath sentme
to bind up the brokenheartedto proclaim
liberty to the captivesandthe openingof
the prisonto themthat arebound."

f0,

Hello

I understandyou don't know me, but I am a man in prison with compassionfor all
peopletoday,especiallyfor you,becausethis is your year,2003.
Don'tworry aboutthe past,you cannot be defeatedtoday,Godis standingwith you.
Onceyou acceptthat,changeswill startto takeplacein your life; problemsyou have
beenfrettingaboutfor yearswill startbeingsolved.Rememberyou aresomebodyspecial
in God'seyestoday.

S -Setyour sights
T -Taketime to map out a strategy
R -Recognizethatchange takestime
E -Encourage yourself everyday
T -Talk aboutyow dreamsandgoals
C -Celebrateyour successes
H -Hold yourselfaccountable

I challengeyou todayto moveout of your comfortzoneandbecomea spiritual


success. Godwantsyou to be a success here
in this life. You cancontrolyour destiny.Yesterdayis gone.You havethe opporhrnity
today.

I am takingAmericaandthe World by storm,I cannot be defeatedandI will not quit.


Now is the time for you to live eachday with your whole heartanda neverquit attitude.
Stopwonderingwhat your future holds andleam to takethe future by storm.Make every
momencount,live life to the fullest.

The challengetoday,we standat a crossroad,


our futureis bright,we havea taskin
front of us today,what Godhasfor us.

Anytimeyou needsomeencouraging wordsin your walk with God,I am herefor you.


Let not your heartbe troubled,you believein God.AMEN!

Believein yourself don'tbelievein defeatandthink positiveaboutyourself.

In my next letterto you, I will be sendingyou my powerfirltestimonyandmessage


in
thenameof JesusChrist.

In JesusChrist
BrotherJoneswriting Ministry
Nothingbut love for you andyour family andfriends,Godblessyou always.

HaveANice Day,

BrotherClarenceL. Jones#098193
GreenRiver CorrectionalComplex
P.O.Box 9300
1200RiverRoad
CentralCity, Kentucky 42330
AnthonyA. Wood
My nameis AnthonyA. Wood. I will be 20 yearsold on January3,20A3. I havebeen
incarceratednow for almost2 years. My TDCJnumberis 1042331.In the freeworld
my nicknameis Tony. I am currentlyon the Telford Unit in New BostonoTX. I will
probablybe transferredin a few weeks.

First and foremostI want to thank you for your time in readingmy story

I havealwaysbeenthe type of persongrowing up that did not get into muchtrouble, so


needlessto sayI got a late start. I was introducedto drugsvery late for this day and age.
I was 16 when I startedsmokingweed. It seemedharmlessin the beginningand it did
not and it did not really havean effbct on me trntil abouta yearor 2Iater. Then I started
stayingout all night and occasionallynot going homeat all. From ttrereit cameto school
andbasicallygiving up so I would either skip classor not go at all. I was fixing to
gfaduatebut endedup droppingout in the l2th grade.

Next camebeingrebellious,which is a lot of the reasonI am whereI am today. For me


this took kind of like a domino effect. With the buddiesI haveit washard not to follow
alongwith them and do the things they wantedto do. I had 4 particularbuddiesI always
hungaround,Ray, Josh,Colt and Tim. ConsideringI nevergrew up with any brothersor
sistersI lookedto my friendsasbrotherfigureswhich will explainmy faithful devotion
andfriendshipwith them. In the beginningit was neveraboutgettinginto fiouble but
thatjust cameabouthangingout andthe bond betweenfriends. I was alwaysthe oneto
jump at an opportunityto leaveor get kicked out of home. I guessit is becauseI kind of
thrivedoffof it.

This is aboutwherethe drugsgot bad. I was 17- 18 yearsold. I loved weedbut had
doneotherdrugssuchas ecstasyo pills suchas downerslike Zanexand experimentedwith
cocaine. (Snortednot shotup) I refusedto stick myself with a needleto get high. I
rememberleavinghomewith no job, no money,no placeto stayandnot goingto school.
I wantedto live this lifestyle simply becauseI was a "rebel without a cause.o'I was
alwaysfinding myself looking for drogsanda placeto stayfor the night, neverthinking
aboutmoney,food or anythingelse. I would end up sleepingunderneathsomerailroad
hacks,by a ditch, in the backof my homeboy'struck or having my buddy sneakme in
his houseat night.

I would alwaysfind my drugs. Actually at onepoint I lived with my homeboyJoshfor a


month. It was a secretfrom his fatherwho was on probationat the time. It washis
mother'sidea. Josh'ssisterwho lived therewas alsomy weeddealer,my drugsand a
placeto stay.

As time went by crime camein, I eventuallywent alongwith threeotherbros, Ray, Joe


and Robert,to burglarizea concessionstandat the golf course. At the endI endedup
getting5 yearsprobationfor burglaryof a building. Theyoffered2 yearsin prisonof the
probation.I took the probationbecauseI did not wantto go to prisonbut I shouldhave
takenthe prison. I was knowledgeableaboutthe law.

I only lastedalmost4 monthsout in the freeworld. The reasonfor this is becauseI gave
up. I quit. BecauseI wasscaredto give it a chanceanddid not realizeI hadlovedones
on my sideall along. So feelingdesperate I proceeded
to skip probationandendedup
robbinga Phillips66 GasStation. This wasto getmoneyto leavetown andeventually
leaveTexas.

We were caughtthe next day at my friend's house. My bro cameout with 6 monthsboot
camp,6 monthscountytime and 10yearsprobation.I cameout with 7 yearsprisonand
2 yearsstatehail concurrently. The 7 yearswas for the armedrobberyandthe statejail
time wasfor violationof probation.

I haveseenand experienceda lot of things sincemy incarceration.What they sayabout


prisonis true regardingthe murders,rapes,fights,suicidesandetc. Most of this comes
from the administrationaswell asthe inmates.
I comefrom a smalltown, calledDeerPark,Texas. It is a suburbof Houstonwhich hasa
populationof 20,000to 25,000. Peoplefrom my part of town seldomexperiencecrime
of prisonlife.

You haveto be strongmindedin prison I am goingthrougha situationwheresomebody


hasthreatenedmy life overme telling the guardsthat he hassexuallyharassed
me. I
almosthadto kill him fearingfor my own life.

I am in the processof beingmovedto anotherunit. Thepersonneldo not like to


cooperatewith inmates,especiallyif the inmateis right. Theydo not wantto believe
serioussituationsout of spite. They havea power trip which leadsto an abuseof power.

Someof the inmateshavelives to go backto andwish to live healthylives in society.


Beinglockedup andhavingthe impressionthat you areworthlesswill not helpto
rehabilitatethe inmate. Note that peoplemust havepersonalneedto rehabilitate
themselves.Animalsneedto be with animalsanddecenthumanbeinssneedto be with
decenthumanbeingsof all races.

I am only a20 yearold manbut I do know I needto act like a manandnot a 5 yearold
boy. Someof theseso calledgrownmenareworsethanmy little cousinsnot yet out of
high school. Peopleneedto grow up.

Thankyou for your time.

@Copyright2002AnthonyA. Wood

AnthonyA Wood#1042331
PleaseDon't Make My Mistake.
By Heather(Manning) Thylor

In the Fall of 95, I wasarrestedfor 2 cts.of lst degree.robbery.I waspregnant,going


thru a divorce,andalreadyon intenseprobation.

I usedto dance,becauseI didn'twantto work. I wasusedto my ex-husband taking


careof me. He solddrugs,andI got usedto living a'large'lifestyle.Whenhe wentto
prisonhe wasfacing75 yrs., andhe usedto beatthe shit out of me, so I decidedto leave
him. I filed for divorce,and in the meanwhile,met the fatherof my son.

I talkedmy son'sfatherinto helpingme with somerobberies.Told him I knewboth


menhada lot of money.A11I hadto do was'pretend'I would go on a'date'with them.I
knew this wouldn't be hard sincethey would harassme all the time. Both menbecame
familiar with my car, andhad evenfollowed me aroundafter work. Oneevenfound out
my address...cause I didn'thaveenoughgasto ride aroundlong enoughto losehim. I got
real scaredone day when that man in particularparkedon the sidestreetof my houseand
flashedhis brights continuouslyat my picture window. I wasat the point whereI wanted
both mento havetheir asseskicked.

I told my son'sfatherthat I wantedthem beatandrobbed.He wouldn't agreeto


hurting them,but he was gamefor robbingthem. I cameup with all the plans.He had 2
of his friendshelp with the first robberyjust to get a feel for it.
For the lst man,all I did was drive my car downtownby the club, andbeforeyou
know it the trick startedfollowing me whenhe sawmy car. I pulled over and askedhim
if he wastalking a lot of cash,we could get down for a minute.He agreedto it, and
offeredme $400.00.I told him to follow me. I hadhim follow me downby a deadend
streetin a secludedarea,wheremy son'sfather andtwo friendswere alreadyhiding and
waiting. As I got out, and got in the trick's truck, we spoke,he gaveme the money,and I
was going towardsmy zrpperon my pants..whenthe 3 men cameout of no where and2
of them werepointing gunsat the windows in the truck. They were orderingus to get out.
We get out andwere orderedto strip. Only the guy stripped;the guysactedlike sinceI
waspregnant,I didn't haveto strip--and'let me go.' I took off. I rememberthe trick
yelling obscenitiesthe whole time. He wascalling my sonsfatherandhis friendsniggers,
andhow he'dhangthem whenthis wasover. Mind you, they all wore ski masks,rags,
andpantyhose.You could not seethe color of their skin. They proceededto go along
with the plan, andthey stipped him naked(it was a chilly Oct. eve),andhandcuffedhim
to a fenceby the freeway,(I wantedthem to be exploitedasmuch aspossible.CauseI
couldn'tstandtricks.)

The otherrobberyhappened2 weeks.later. Didn't know he wasa staterepresentative


until I was arrested!Anyway, I lured him the sameway, andhad him follow me to a
secludedparVforestarea.My son'sfatherwas waiting for him also.But, no friendsthis
time. Hejumped out and pointeda gun at us, and orderedus out. We got out, 'he let me
go again.'He madethe man get nakedandtied him up with a snowchainto a hee. I met
him down the roadto a giant ditch wherewe strippedhis car. We are in the ditch, andwe
seethe manrunning down the gravelroadtowardsus, naked,but he can't seeus causewe
arein the ditch. I yelled at my son'sfatherto get out and shoothim. He shotat him, but
didn't hit him. The man dived into the bushes,and got away.

At both robberieswe obtainedover $500in cash,computerequipment,andtook


moneyout of their ATM accounts.I won't messwith creditcards,or checks,,,,so
that is
all we did.

Onenight I am laying in bed with my son'sfather..whowas my fianc6 backthan.I


heardloud knocksat the door,and "Police!OpenUp!!" I'm like..ohshit.This has
happened to me tonsof timesbefore.I'm like, I'm not openingup baby.They'regoingto
haveto comeget me. I knew I was facing a lot of fucking time. They threatenedto throw
in tear gas,and sinceI was 5 months.pregnant,,,myfiancd openedthe door. I had feeling
they were comingto get me becausethey had beenfollowing me lately. We lived by a
busycar lot, andthey would park alongsidethe carsin the lotoandI would seesomecar
move out the cornerof my eye..butmy fianc6 said I wasjust paranoid.I knew I wasn't.
He got arested for interferencebecausehe was in the houseanddidn't openthe door
right away.But he didn't get arrestedfor anythingelse.Foundout later that wasbecause
theydidn'thavesolidproof on him...theyneededmy testimony.

I wasin lock up for 18 hours.,andthey weren'tlettingme out. Theykept lying.


Telling me that my fianc€ wasnext door andadmittedthe gunswere his in the house.
Trying to get me to co-sign.They offeredme a bargainof 2nd degree.robberyfor only
10yrs. if I told the'truth.'I told themto do theirjob. Be areal detective.Find out for
yourselfwho helpedme..youwon't getmy help.Mind you, I wasgoingdownregardless.
Theyfounda victim'swallet andclothingundermy bed,a .357,a bolt actionrifle, a AR-
15with live rounds,a meatcleaverunderthe couch..amI paintinga ugly pictureyet??

I endedup gettinga nice, fat25 yearsentence. In low4 backthen,you did abovt6-7


yearsfor a forciblefelony suchasmine off of a25 yearsentence.

What I didn't mentionis the kind of personI was backthan. I was Ms. Hard. Oh yes.
Being maried to my ex-husbandmademe evil. He fought me like a man, and it mademe
fight everyone.I had no love for anyone.If I couldn'tfight you, I would shootat you, or
cut you. I didn't careaslong as you got yours.I had numerouscharges.Gun charges,
knife charges,forgery/creditcardcharges,assaults,domesticviolence,you nameit. I
probablybeenarestedfor it. (Justno sexcrimes!)

Not keepingajob, wanting fast money,and having a bad attitude=Atenible life. You
canexpecta life full of emptiness.Whateveris worth having is worth working hard for.
Not taking.As for the ladieswho think dancingis glamorous.Whatever.I neverused
drugs,sothat wasn'tan issue.I just wantedfastmoney.You will be far from a superstar.
You will havementry andrapeyou, menwill stalkyou...sooner or lateryou will snap
andhurt oneof them.Do you havegroundsto?No. You chosethat lifestyle..whatdid
you expect?I don'tput my handson anyoneanymore.Fightingsolvesnothing.Yeah,it
usedto feel goodafterwards...but sit your assin prison for 7 ll2 years...and
I bet sureas
the sky is blue..thatyou will think beforeyou act. Consequences will alwaysbe in your
mind to gurdeyour choices.

I wentto the hole 9 timesin prison.I feel to this daythat I hadto go there.Hadto.
Prisoncalls for you to be tough,don't take any shit. I hadto prove myself. I wasthin, and
lookedlike I wasa pushover..soI kicked assand did enoughof it whereI was left alone.

Whatis oneof the hardestthingsto dealwith in prison?SmartassC.O.'s.Theywill


pushyou andtemplyou so muchin there.Finally in my 4th yearor so,I just ignoredit.
But it is hard ashell. I hadtons of verbal abusetickets,and disruptiontickets.They know
you can'tdo shit,andif you W, you arecuffedor shockedso quick...theyneverfeel it.

I hadno clue what prison really wasuntil I went there.To haveeverythingshipped


from you...youhaveno ideatill it happens.You can'tyell whenyour mad,can'tslama
door, can'tlook pretty anymore,becauseno one cando your hair..(that'sa sexual
misconductto be touched,period.),you can'tsmellnice..shit,you can'thaveanythingthat
smellsgood.I knewof no smellsbut feet,funk, andshit.

You haveto eatwhen they say,for the time allottedthat THEY say,you can'trun at
all, anywhere,but the teadmill. You can'tbe out whenit's foggy, or dark. You can'ttalk
on the phoneswhen you want to. Can'tsleepduring the day like I thoughtyou could. Oh
no. No recliningon your bunk either.From 6 am - 6 pm..youbetterbe sittingupright.
You can'tsharefood,or ANYTHING. You only get 3 big, grannypantiesa weekto
wear.Laundryis everyotherday,andif you don'tget it in by saidtime, your screwed,
plus get a ticket. If you changesizesat all, you haveto wait until they call it over the loud
speaker,rush to get there..butdon't run..andyou hopefrrllywill makeit in. Onceyour in,
you musttry on saiditem andmodelit for the ugly manC.O.andthe wholeline. He was
an asshole,sohe would makecommentsabouthow you lookedandwould often
commenton how dumbyou are.He did that on pulpose.So you would get smartback
andhe couldsendyou to the hole.

Therearetons of rulesthat you won't be ableto stand.If you are gettingin trouble,you
mostdefinitelyhavea problemwith authority.And thosearejust the peoplethey like.
THey will tormentyou andmakeyour life hell,just becauseyou think you area badass
andhatecops.You will go the right placealright.

Hopefullyyou don'tmakethat trip. Onceyou get out, gettingajob is almostnon-


existent.Sure,you might gethired somewhere. For minimumwageonly. It won't pay
your bills. And you won't qualiff for most grants,andhelp alongthe way. Becausenow
you area felon.Markedfor life. Voting may not seemimportantto you now. But, once
you grow up andchangeyour life..it will be importantto you. But, you won't be ableto.
In my state,you can'tevengetyou voting rightsrestoredeven15yearsafteryou're
dischargedoffparole!

I hopeyou think, andthink hard after readingmy letter. I hadto give birth to my son
in prison.I now don'thavecustody.Do you realizeeverythingI lost andwill neverhave
the chanceto regain??

@Copyright2003HeatherTaylor
This is not the placeto be
From Heath Smith
I havelost a lot from being here. You think that all of the drugsare cool and
that it's OK to hurt other peoplebut it's not and this placeis not a joke. When
you get put in here you are treatedlike a dog. You don't really have anything
in herethat call your own.

You always are being looked at by other offenderseither to fight or they think
you are a punk or a bitch in here. The best place to be is out there with your
family and somegood friendsthat you don't feel that you haveto prove
somethingto becausethis placewill really messyour headup.

This is no life for anyone. This is a placethat will messyou up but if you don't
believemejust keepon doing all of the wrong stuff andyou'll seefor yourself
that this is not the place for you.

You seeI had no one to tell me aboutthis placebut I wish I did becauseI
would haveneverdonewhat I did. So for you out therebe carefulaboutwhat
you do and rememberthis is not the place to be,
JacobWood
My nameis JacobWoodTDC# 1085617.I'm a Texasinmatehereat the TelfordUnit in
New Boston.TX.

Whatgot me into prison? My life styleof rebelliongot me here. I droppedout of school


in the 8th grade. I had goneto the Christianschoolandwasat the point that I would drop
out or getkickedout. I wasnothingbut a troublemakerasit was. At age13of I had
startedsmokingweedanddrinkingall of the time. I hadmovedout at the ageof 15. My
Dad lovesme but he is very strictandhardto live with. I supposethat is why I startedto
rebelat sucha youngage.

At the ageof 17 I movedbackin with my parents.I hadbeenin jail two times. The first
time wasfor a P.I. The nexttime it wasfor a secondandthird degreefelony. I was
guilty for the third degreefelony.

Onenight while I was drinking with somehomeboys,I got a little drunk and endedup
fighting oneof my homeboys.After the fight my homeboyDavidtook me homebut I
didn't stay. I took off walking. Threehousesdown I endedup breakinginto a truck. I
was going to takethe radio but somehow I endedup stealingthe truck So I was drunk on
my assdriving a 71 pickupwith a 454bigblock. I wasdriving all $azy sothe next thing
I knewthe K-9 unit wason my assbut havinga 454I wasout of sightandstill driving
$az!. Thenextthing I knew I lost control. A pickupparkedon the sideof the roadgot
in my way andI smashedit. I wasgoingso fastwhenI hit thepickupthat I slid into a
bedroom.SomehowI got out andran home.

I woke up the next day all bloody from the wreck. My facehad beencut up from all of
the glassandmy right eyehadglassin it. I remembermy mom cameinto my roomto
wakeme up for church. When sheaskedwhat happenedI just told her I got into a fight.
That wasnormal for me.

In orderto keepfrom gettingcaughtI had to keepmy mouth shutbut I went to a parfy


and got drunk again. A g,ry askedme what happenedand I told him. The next day he
got bustedfor breakinginto the house.He wasonly 16andtold themmy nameandsaidI
helpedhim breakinto the house.Thenhe told them aboutme wreakingthe truck. When
the copscameto talk to me they scaredme by telling me that I wasin troublefor
breakinginto the houseandstealingthepickup. I wentto jail for both.

My parentswerereal upsetso I was stuckwith a court appointedlawyer. He told me that


if I pleadgurltyto bothhe couldget me probation. Beingreal scaredandonly 17I told
him Ok.

So I pleadguilty to breakinginto a houseeventhoughI hadnothingto do with it. I did


not evenknow aboutit. I feel stupidnow becauseI could havebeatenthis case. So I did
4 yearson probationbut I couldnot stopdrinkingso I endedup in prison.

I've beenlockedup for a yearnow andI just turnedZ2 onNovemberninth. I am a long


waysfrom my home. I haven'tseenmy family in six months. My family lives in
OdessaTX andI am too far for visits.

I've neverin my life beenthroughanythinglike this. It is realhardfor me becauseI am


white,22 yearsold, haveblue eyesandlight brownhair. I'm whatthey call a prettyboy.
For somereasonpeoplein herehavethis fixed picture in their headthat all white pretfy
boysarerich, sothey tell you like this, "Fight, fuck or pay money." I am not gay andI'm
not goingto give my moneyup to peoplelike themso I haveto fight. I'm lucky I
havenotbeenraped. ThankGod!

My girlfriend gaveup on me and found someonenew? WhenI was first lockedup she
talkedto a lawyeraboutgettingme shockprobation.As you canseeI'm still in prisonso
it didn't work. I didn't makemy first paroleso now I am waitingfor find out If Iom
going to makemy next parole. I've not beenin any kind of trouble otherthan this case
that an officer wrote on 5 other guysandme becausewe would not snitchon a guilty
inmate.

Oneof my co-workershad takensomesocksandbeggedup somepeanutbutterandwas


going to try to takethem backto his cell. He had them in a hiding placein the kitchen
until he got off. I hadto wite my parentsto getthemto call up here. Thatcasecould
havemadethem keepme longerand I would not havemademy parole. That wasjust
lastweek.

I haveto dealwith losingmy girlfriend,Katie,who I hold dearto my heart. It wasmy


first time everto be in love andmy first time to evencareabouta woman.

Why it had to happento me aroundthe time in my life when I went to prison,I don't
understand.I do wish I couldgo backin time. A lot of thingswould be different. I
know I would spendmoretime with my parents.I would havebeatenthis case.I would
havebeenvery picky aboutthe peopleI would call my friends. I wouldn't havejust
fallen in love with someonewho wasn't real with me and faithful to me. Drinking and
drugshasa lot to do with that. It is hardto be faithful to someonewhenyou live a
lifestyleofjust looking for the nexthigh.

I hit rock bottomby gettingsentto prison. While I'm hereI'm goingto get my GED.
I've only got a few monthsleft so that'sreally all I havetime for. I'm singlenow - got
no ring on this fingernow. SowhenI get out I will havemy GED,no girlfriend,lots of
stuff to do out there,a new life andonething I am going to do is give my mom a big
hug. You know the small things in life arewhat we miss whenwe don't havethem any
more.

The guy my ex girlfriend,Katie,foundwasmy brotherJoe. He is 23 yearsold. I'm


thinking aboutseeingif we could go on the Jerry SpringerShowwhen I get out. (HAHA)
That is very dysfunctional. (HAHA) I wish I could rap like Eminem,I could make
millions.

At the presenttime I am in safekeeping. I've beenherefor a week and a half because


my life is in dangeraswe speak. I had a new cell matecomein from a different unit. He
had beensentto this unit becausehe had sometrouble with a gangcalled WestTX. He
thoughthe was safebut he waswrong. Word was sentfrom the otherunit to kill this
guy.

Sothe otherday I was down in the day room watchingTV when I lookedup and seen
threeMexicansgoingin my cell. Not knowingI ran up to my cell. WhatI sawwasmy
cell matebeingstabbedin the back. He wasdoinghis bestto fight themoff. Most
peoplein prisonwould not concernthemselveswith somethinglike this if the boy is not a
homeboyor in your gang. I am not in a gang,mind you, but beingmy cell mateI jumped
right in and startedfighting them the bestI could. We wereableto fight the guysoff. As
they were leavingthey threatenedme and my cell mate.

I felt real goodknowingthat I helpedsavethis man.He did thankme.Hey I just praythat


someonewould help me too.

The guy got somemedicalhelp for his stabwound in his backandwe both wereput over
in protectivecustodyto wait till we couldget movedof this unit. I've only got a shot
time left only havingsix years. I've got a family to go hometo. I am not trying to die in
hereor get somemoretime. This is not my home. The gangbangerscanhavethis place.

WhatI don't understand aboutprisonsis thatthey put peoplewho havelesstime in with


the peoplewho havelife without paroleor aggravatedtime. Thenthe peoplewho never
will go homedon't careaboutanything. Theyrapepeople,kill peopleandmakeit harder
on you. Somepeopleendup pickingup new time becausethey endup killing a sick
nastypersonwho rapedthem. The grrardsa lot of times know what's going on and so for
a personto go and ask for protectionfrom the guy who is rapingthem they get laughed
at. I know that if I had someonerapeme it would be hardnot to go get me a steelandput
it in the guy who rapedme.

SinceI havebeenoverhereI've talkedto a few otherguysin othercells. We stayin our


cells24l7 otherthan leavingto get a showerandthen we havetwo guardsescortus. Our
food is broughtto us. The few otherguysI've spokento overhereareherebecausethey
wereraped.Oneof them told me oneof the sergeantstold him he probablyliked it
becausehe didn't stepforward and sayanythingfor five months. For five monthsout of
fear he was letting two big guyshavesexwith him. He's real small andnot ableto fight.

Now whathe is dealingwith is that he might haveAIDS or how is his family goingto
look at him. Poordude,my heartis goesout to him. I can't help but to put myselfin his
shoes.I seriouslycouldn't live with myselfif I waseverto be raped.Anyway seeingall
of this angersme. Whatis life goingto be like for my kids? This systemis aboutmoney,
not aboutthe personsin prison. We arejust numbersto them. Think aboutthis. A guy
who is raping grown men in prison is beingreleasedbackon the streets. If he would rape
a growr man,the Lord only knowswho he would rapeout on the streets.But this is what
the prison systemis making now days,rapistsand killers. Peoplecometo prison and
becomethis or victimsto this.

You know,afterseeingall that I've seenbeingin prison,I'm not goingto let this make
me bitter. I like whatEminemsaid,"I guessI've alwaysbeenthetype of personwho, if
a brick is thrown my way,I set it up the wrong way and standon it." Whateverobstacle
is tfuown my way, I try to useit to my advantageandrun with it. All this happeningto
me couldhavebeena blessingin disguise,becauseit mademe morefocused.Now I'm
awareof everythingaroundme. I feel like a wide-eyedkid: Holy Shit! WherehaveI
beenall of theseyears?

Iomclean,sobero 22 yewsold andin goodshape.I don't smoke;keepin mind drugsare


all over the placein here. Don't get me wrong, I'm surethat whenI get out I might
smokecigarettes.It's just not somethinga personwould want to do in hereif they want
to go home. If you get caughtwith cigarettesyou will get a casethat will keepyou from
makingparole, Crazyhuh? It's a hard way outoman. Thereis so much aboutprison life
that canneverbe capturedwith words. This with lonelinessshouldneverbe forcedon
anyonethat onceknew freedom.

@Copyright 2002 JacobWood

JacobWood#1085617
P.O.Box 9200
New Boston,TX 75570-9204