Everyone knows what they want their future dream mate to look

like on the outside, but have you ever imagined who they should
actually be on the inside?

Opposing Personality Types in Relationships

A Daters Guide to Finding Your Soul Mate
is a Copyright of Daren Brodish
Copyright 2011
Rev. 7

Opposing Personality
Types in Relationships

A Daters Guide to
Finding Your Soul Mate

Daren Brodish
Copyright 2011
Rev. 7

Preface
Wouldnt it be great if relationships were easy? I think relationships
can be easy and fun if we acquire just a little bit of educated.
Relationships have both energy and structure. Once you understand
what makes relationships work, successful relationships will be easy.
Our problem is: we all start life clueless. I never saw any affection in
my home as a child, so I had no idea what affection was. I never saw
any romance either. My parents were always fighting. I learned about
romance from watching sit-coms on TV. Because sit-coms were
distorted fairytales that made fun of people, they were not the best
source for my romantic education. This was my childhood example
of relationships. Sad, yes I know. As I entered the real world I was
completely uneducated on relationships and was totally unprepared
for a relationship with another person. Then I saw that very few of us
were prepared to enter adult relationships because most of us had
parents who were bad role models and TV provided a distorted
picture of life.
More than anything, I desperately wanted to marry my soul mate. I
thought life would magically hand me my soul mate. Instead,
because I was blind and could not see relationship energies, life
handed me my perfect opponent. I made an exact copy of my
parents relationship. However, I was not totally blind; I could see I
was in an opposing relationship. It was this opposition that gave me
my real education. My first clue was when I started to see that there
were two opposing sides to each energy. As years went by I began to
see that opposing energy is caused by ideologies. If my opposition
marriage had taught me one thing, it taught me about opposing
energy. My relationship education started to take form and grow as I
began to understand each one of these human relationship ideologies.
This dating guide is about these relationship ideologies and how
these ideologies determine what we love or hate to do. Every
ideology creates two mirror image opposites. There will be billions
of people on opposite sides of each ideological fence who think very
opposite from each other with opposing want and needs. For
example, do you need to cuddle in bed for your mental health but
your fiance hates it and is tormented by you touching them in bed?

This is just one of the two dozen hidden romantic oppositions we

face with our mate every day. We often overlook these oppositions
and try to build a relationship on physical attraction or sex. However,
after a few years we find that they love everything we hate and hate
everything we need them to do. But wouldnt it be wonderful if you
could see each one of these opposing love-hate energies in the other
person before you agreed to that first date? You can! That is what
this dating guide is all about. It exposes these oppositions up front by
explaining each one of these relationship ideologies in detail.
However, most people will marry before they learn that their list of
needs opposes their mates mental energies? That is because people
often hide their oppositions while dating, but once you are married
everything changes. Contrary to popular belief opposites do not grow
closer together. They divide into their respective corners and fight. In
a few years we see we are in a relationship with an opposing person
who can never return our love the way we need to be loved. It is a
game of tug-of-war until one side admits defeat and gives-up.
So what does this dating guide do? First, I will explain each one of
these invisible love-hate ideologies. Once you see these polarized
ideologies inside yourself and in others, relationship structures will
become visible to you. These energies that are inside everyone will
be visible to you. This knowledge will expose the real inner person
who lives behind each face. It is so easy. It only takes a short
conversation to see if your loves and needs are compatible with that
person you may want to date. A whole new world of dating is opened
to you by allowing you to instantly see if that potential someone has
the inner energies to fulfill your needs or see if their rigid oppositions
will cause you mental pain and suffering. It removes the guess-work.
The ability to see inside everyones soul allows you to pick your soul
mate types to date. Dating will never be the same.
Enjoy my book preview. I chose about thirty pages from my dating
guide to give you a glimpse of what it will be like to have your eyes
open to see relationship structures and relationship energies. These
words will point you in the right direction to find that perfect Soul
Mate who can return your love to you, your way.

This book is dedicated to my wonderful daughters who inspired me

to write a few notes about personality types and dating. These notes
became this dating guide.

Introduction
to
Ideologies

I tried several times to explain different personality types to my

dating teenagers. I wanted them to see that there were different types
of people in the world and which types to choose when dating.
However, that old typecasting stuff that used initials or colors did not
do it for them. I have smart kids but their minds did not know how to
process that kind of information. For some reason they just looked at
me and blinked.
Traditional typecasting had been great intellectual fun at my
corporate team building retreats. It did seem to work to build a great
team of workers. However, it lacked something real when trying to
explain to teenagers who to look for when dating. How do we know
if an introvert and an extrovert are compatible? Good point. It takes
time to read the book, take a test, understand all the terms and
memorize the new acronyms. It is not easy. After twenty years of
study and use, I need to admit, I do not understand what any of that
stuff has to do with compatibility when finding a mate. Do you?
Does anyone? What do these things have to do with romance?
Teens are just too busy for all that these days. If you want to see if
something is real or not, try to teach it to a kid. Kids are honest,
especially my kids. I always raised my kids on the truth. If there is
one thing I can rely on with my kids is that they will be honest right
back. If something is crap they will tell me. This one only took a few
minutes. They wanted understandability, the real truth in plain
English, no dumb colors or fuzzy TGIF abbreviations. The old
typecasting formulas were fun for building teams at work, but they
were missing something when it came to romance. I just could not
figure out what it was at first. Besides, they asked me, what
difference does it make if they date and marry an introvert or an
extrovert? Good point. It is nice to know but it really does not make
any difference which one they date or marry. So what is the point?
Later that week while talking with co-workers and having several
conflicts of my own; I realized that the REAL personality types had
been staring us in the face all the time. I could not believe we had
never noticed them before. The picture was just too big to be seen
even though we were getting smacked in the face by them all day
long. The first bi-polar relationship ideology I saw was the most
obvious. Conservatives and Liberals.

We would watch these two political opposites argue with each other
all day at work. Later, we would turn on the evening news or
political comedy shows and laugh at the two sides struggling with
each other. These are obviously two ideologically opposing people
types; there is no question about it. Everyone can see them too,
especially kids, so it must be real. It is definitely a real opposing
ideology that everyone should know and ask about when dating.
Also, for the most part, no one needs to sit down and take a type test
to see if they are conservatives or liberals. Just ask. They know. How
easy is that? There are a few people who can switch sides depending
on the time of day and which way the wind is blowing. This is
normal with all opposing types. It is common to have thirty percent
who do not fit into either group or who can switch sides at will.
From that point this opposing ideology thing started to grow. I began
to see other rigid bi-polar ideologies materialize in people
relationships that we all know and see every day.
The next one came quickly. I turned on the TV and watched Living
with Ed. They were making fun of the struggles between an ecofriendly husband and an opposing wife who couldnt care less about
the environment. I have the same struggles in my house. We are the
exact opposites in this ideology. It causes us to stand on opposite
sides and argue all the time. Neither of us is willing or able to
change. It is like it is a fixed mental energy inside our heads. I
remember seeing this same opposition in other couples.
Then I watched as my three year old collected the seeds out of her
orange. She talked to the tiny seeds as she washed them. It was as if
she was giving babies a bath. Then she got on her tricycle and took
them to the garden and planted them. This is not something we
taught her or even something that she learned. It was one of her inner
ideologies shining out. As she grew, she always maintained this very
strong eco-friendly personality. At age seven she challenged us to
buy local organic food and to recycle. She is and always will be a
very strong eco-friendly type. It became obvious that these opposing
thought types are determined inside us from a very young age. We
are born with them. Then more bi-polar relationship ideologies
started to flash before my eyes.

10

For example, do you need to cuddle in bed for your mental health but
your fiance hates touching in bed? Are you hoping they will change
and begin to cuddle after married or in time? Sorry, people will never
change. But wouldnt it be wonderful if you could see each one of
these opposing mental energies in the other person before you agreed
to that first date? Most people are married for years before they learn
that their list of mental needs opposes their mates needs.
Somehow in the search for deep intellectual meaning the typecasting
people missed human ideologies! These ideologies are what count in
romantic compatibility. They are the big Up in your face opposing
personalities of people that we all struggle with in relationships.
Some of them, like the political types, you already know, but the
affection, love and passion opposing ideologies remained invisible
until this guide. I could see a fantastic book in my future; this is more
than having the truth for my kids. Who would have thought that
layers of opposing ideologies would be what power us with
relationship energy?

Relationships
Why do we take over six months to teach young people how to drive
a car but never teach them how to steer relationships? We just allow
them to blindly fall into difficult relationships where they crash and
burn daily in complete frustration. That does not make any sense.
That is until now. This guide changes all that, it teaches relationship
skills. This guide represents a significant increase in understanding
the psychology of human relationships. It is based on twenty-four bipolar relationship ideologies. First we will go back in time to
creation and examine the history behind the creation of opposing
relationship energy. Then I will explain why these twenty-four
opposing mental energies cause people to stand on opposite
ideological sides and fight. It is these basic mental building blocks
that cause what people think and do their entire life.

This book is written from a relationship perspective as a way to

understand how your mates relationship ideologies combine or fight
with your ideologies to establish your marriage energy dynamics.
From this information you will understand how to find a beautiful
soul who will instinctively fulfill several of your primary life needs.
In contrast to abstract personality type books that are impossible to
apply to real relationships, this book was written specifically for
direct application to the people in your life and your relationships
with them. That is because I am explaining relationship energy.
This topic has never been correctly developed by anyone. This
information is more than book knowledge; it is a living skill that will
transform your life. It makes you more like God because it allows
you to quickly peek inside everyones soul. I am not kidding. You
will be amazed at how quickly you are able to look past a persons
face and hair and see the real person who lives inside. It is a good
skill to have when dating before you blindly marry that person who
is your opposite. This knowledge will also give you the ability to
build relationships with your existing mate, family and friends.
But dont get the idea that this book is for PhDs, it was written for
dating teenagers and us common people. This is so easy; it gives
everyone the ability to see inside souls to find their perfect soul mate.

Why Personality types?

I hear a lot of people say they are looking for their soul mate. The
problem is they have no idea what their soul mate looks like or acts
like. Do you even know what a soul mate is? Most people dont.
Before you can step out and find your soul mate you need to be able
to see your soul mate. Before you can see your soul mate you need
the ability to see inside people. This book on personality energy
gives you that supernatural ability to peek inside everybodys head.
Without the eyesight to see inside peoples heads you will bump into
your soul mate some day on the street and never see them.

12

Why Opposing Personality types?

I see couples fighting with their mate all the time. This is not because
they are different from each other or because they have a difference
of opinion. From now on I want you to forget about different. All of
the types we are about to study are polar opposites. This is the one
key element to understanding relationship conflicts. That is what
causes most of our relationship problems. We fail to see that people
are made of many opposing relationship ideologies that are actually
enemies of each other. Once you are able to see these oppositions
and understand why these opposites are the enemies of your soul,
you may be less likely to begin a difficult relationship with someone
who is filled with too many (or the wrong) opposing ideologies.

History
Many years ago, personality books were written by highly educated
doctors of psychiatry about the technical aspects of peoples
unconscious minds. They surmised that our inner nature came from
our Psyche, Ids and Egos. Just reading all that stuff about peoples
unconscious minds and their Psyche was enough to make me
unconscious after a few pages or drive me psycho. I really did not
care about an imaginary Super Ego. What I wanted to do was predict
how a single person will act in their future married relationships. So
these PhD books were not useful information to me.
More recently, someone came up with personality types. They
divided everyone into a personality grid. Even though it was easier to
predict how large groups of people may act over time, their terms
were extremely vague. Showing how large groups of people may
think is not the same as predicting what one real person standing in
front of you is actually thinking right now and will need to do next. It
was then that I realized that this old form of typecasting was a
theoretical way of predicting a large groups actions, not a personal
view. This explains why their system never works. An averaged
answer will almost never be correct. It is like saying the average time
is noon. I did some random tests and found their failure rate to be
near 100%. My kids were correct. Without a personal view they will
fail to see what drives a persons needs every time. Their system did

not allow me to deal with real relationships on a one-to-one level like

I wanted and communicate them to dating teens or confused adults.
This guide is completely different from all that. This guide explains
real life ideologies from a relationship point of view. Most of these
ideologies you already know. You do not need a degree in psychiatry
to know that some people are rednecks and others are not. You can
already point out most rednecks on the street today. You do not need
a college degree to know that some people are affectionate and other
people are not. Nor do you need to study for weeks to be able to
understand the difference between an affectionate and a nonaffectionate person. This is so easy. Even an eight year old can see
all of these rigidly opposing people types in everyone, so it must be
true. No studying, no tests, no dictionary. These are the common
opposing people groups that trip us up every day in real
relationships. When it is real, it is really easy.
So these real life opposing personality types are very easy to see.
These are also the real things you need to see inside a mate before
you marry. You do not need to study or remember any letters, fuzzy
acronyms or vague terms here. Most people types in this book are
obvious after reading the title of the chapter. They are not new. The
only fuzzy terms we will deal with here are the words that got us into
trouble in the first place. The words love and affection are the worst.
This is because these two words can have forty different opposite
meanings inside the heads of forty different types of people.
There are no tests to tell which personality types you are; you already
know who you are. You already know if your thoughts drive you to
be a redneck or a non-redneck, a lover or a fighter, a toucher or nontoucher, a conservative or a liberal etc. You already know each one of
your other types and the types you need in a mate. That is why this
book is so easy to understand and apply to your life. I will explain
who you really are inside and show you what your types need. Once
you see your true inner self and all the polar opposing types, it will
be easy to see your soul mate. They will stand out like a flashing
neon sign. Isnt that what you want? So sit back, get comfortable and
enjoy my book. I wrote this book for dating teens and us common
people so this stuff is horribly honest and very easy to understand. It
is different from the other type books because they showed how large

14

groups of people may generally think. That abstract theory was fine
for building teams at the office but it does not have what you need
for your personal romance guide. It failed to see inside people.
This guide is very specific. I will show you the actual thoughts that
drive each one of these ideologies inside your date. Then I go one
step farther and show how these thoughts make them do what they
do. You will soon connect what people do over and over again their
entire life from what they think about. After you see these bi-polar
relationship ideologies, sizing up most people will be about as easy
as putting a twenty-four piece puzzle together. It just takes a minute
or two to see if you are compatible in control, love, affection, sex,
passion, lifestyle, money, temper, time and so much more. This is
valuable information for you to know and use your entire life. It can
help you to find the right mate, your soul mate. It can also help you
to understand people and rebuild existing relationships. If you enjoy
watching people, this knowledge can also be a lot of fun.

Thoughts Make a Person

That is what we will learn in this book, how people are created by
basic opposing thoughts that they think. It is these twenty-four pair
of opposing thought building blocks that form our relationship
ideologies. It is your thought types that make you who you are.
Every person is a mix of about twenty of these strict polar ideologies.
Stacking several types together produces a person who thinks a
certain way. It is these groups of opposing thought types that
determine how people will act and what they will do their entire life.
More important, their ideologies determine how each person will
treat you in relationships with them. That is the reason for this book.
That is what we want to see before we start a relationship with
someone.
How do we start a relationship? The first thing we do is look at each
other. If our looks were not compatible or repulsive we would have
never talked or have become friendly. Since we were both attracted
by our looks, we tried to meet or arranged a way to run into each
other. When we did meet, we talked and listened. These are the
normal steps to building relationships.

Our relationships are doomed from the start because of this outside to
inside progression of getting to know someone. We look on the
outside and because we like what we see, we think they are a
reasonable image of what we also want on the inside. This is rarely
the case however and causes us to be swayed into an opposing
relationship by a cute face, a hot body or finally getting sex.
Since the real information about our needs in life for love, intimacy
and passion are never effectively communicated; it can easily take
three years to even begin to see what our mate is really like on the
inside. This is because of opposition blindness. It slows our ability to
see who we just married. This is where we get the expression love is
blind. Opposites do attract and because of opposition blindness,
causes us to marry our polar opposite. Then we fumble around with
slowly getting to know our opposing mate in a long term difficult
relationship with them. We usually wake up in about seven years to
find we married our complete opposite. This opposing person will
rarely understand our basic needs and fulfill us. At some point we
make a choice to divorce or decide to continue the loneliness.
What does this guide do? First I will explain each of the twenty-four
bi-polar ideologies that influence relationships. Then I will ask you
to think about your basic life needs and list the five or six key things
you need your mate to do. You will then make a list of the types who
will automatically do those things that fulfill your primary life needs.
This will be your soul mate.
Next I will ask you to stop doing two things. First stop looking on the
outside of a person as the only means of determining what is inside
their head. Second, stop relying on superficial communication to
communicate your needs to the person you are dating. These two
things never worked in the past. Im not saying you shouldnt date
good looking people, just the opposite; you should date more
attractive people. Looks are a top priority that are immeasurable but
most people will stay with their opposite just because they built a
relationship with someone who is way too cute. You know what I
mean; good looks often become a trap. What I am saying is, do not
become trapped into staying with a bad for you cute person. You
can always find a better looking person next month.

16

Finally I will teach you how to quickly see what is really inside of
peoples heads. You will be able to list each ideology that drives
them. This can be as fast as two minutes or one date, not years. This
is a learned skill. When your eyes are open to each of these bi-polar
ideologies, you will be able to see peoples internal types from what
they say and love to do. This fast process of seeing who people really
are on the inside will keep you from dating and staying with an
opposing person. This is your main key to finding your soul mate.
Your job then is to weed out the people who have a head full of
ideologies that are all wrong for you and only continue to date people
whose ideologies fulfill your five or six primary life needs. Finding
your soul mate will be much easier after you know what you need
and your eyes are open to see the ideologies inside of other peoples
heads. You will be able to see who will instinctively fulfill your
primary life needs and will automatically make you happy.
This guide is about you and the twenty-four invisible ideologies that
make you who you really are inside. Self-discovery is the first step to
finding your soul mate. Next you will be able to see others as they
really are inside. This is much more than just a quick peek under the
covers. This is an in depth view. It is like ripping off the blankets and
sheets to uncover what people are hiding and see who they really are
on the inside. You will be able to see deep into the souls of everyone
you meet at school, at work, at church and on the street. Everyones
soul will be bare naked for you to see. This is just crazy! This
supernatural ability to see inside peoples heads and see what they
are made of cant be possible or even legal but it is. In fact this
ability to see who people really are on the inside is required if you
want to find your perfect soul mate.
Get ready, you are about to read the most amazing discoveries in the
field of human relationships since the theories of Doctor Sigmund
Freud. In fact, those old boring theories of Doctor Freud pale in
comparison to this exciting new ideology adventure you are about to
take. You are about to take a journey deep inside the energy
structures of the human soul. We all start this journey blind but as
you read this guide you will slowly be blessed with the gift of sight.
Since life is a journey that never ends, dont you think your life
would be awesome if you could see and steer where you are going?

This dating guide was specifically designed to give you the

supernatural eyesight to see your Soul Mate. Once you finish reading
about each one of these bi-polar ideologies, you will have the
eyesight to peek inside everybodys head to search for your perfect
Mate. Nothing to study. Nothing to memorize. No made-up terms. It
is written in plain English. This guide is so easy to use because it is
real life. Once you see your true inner self and see all the opposing
ideologies inside other people, you will instinctively know the type
of mate you need.

Do the people that you like treat you cold or mean? Maybe they just
have opposing ideologies from you.

Chapter 1
Relationship Dynamics
Before we start to learn about the twenty-four opposing personality
types, we need to look at something important: Relationship
Dynamics. In each chapter I will ask you to look at both opposing
energy types and think about how each one will setup your
relationship dynamics. It is difficult to explain since we have not
studied these twenty-four opposing ideologies. I could not decide
whether to put this chapter at the front or at the back of my book.
Since you have not seen these bi-polar relationship energies, you
may not understand this chapter. However, since I refer to
relationship dynamics in almost every chapter, relationship
dynamics must be explained first. You could always come back and
read this chapter again. I highly recommend you do.

Opposing Personality Types in Relationships

No one ever stops to think about it but your mates ideologies will
determine the dynamics of your marriage. That is why we will learn
about them. We need to learn what each opposing ideology pair
thinks and learn what each opposing ideology pair does so we can
correctly plan which energy types we need in our future mate. Think
about that carefully before choosing a mate because it is a
relationship foundation principle that can never be broken. Each
thought type your mate brings into your marriage will apply those
mental energies to run your relationship. There are forty-eight
thought energies that can power your relationship. Until you
understand how each one of these ideologies cause people to have
opposing wants and needs you will never understand relationships.
Each one will not just power your life in a different direction it will
power your life in the opposite direction. These are opposing
mindsets. Each type your mate carries inside their head determines
what you will be doing with them every minute of your marriage the
rest of your life. Each one of these polar opposing energies sets up an
opposite lifestyle for you.
If you are young or have never been in a relationship you probably
lack any point of reference and do not understand a word I just said.
To explain opposites: if your mate is powered by dominance, they
will think about controlling you. They will have each day planned for
you and tell you what you should be doing. They need to control
your every move. They will tell you what to wear and call every few
hours to see what you are doing for them. Your life will be run by
their dominant energy because control is the energy that powers their
mind. If you marry the polar opposing energy the opposite will be
true. If you marry a person powered by submission, your married life
will be powered by freedom. Submissive people will make sure you
are enjoying the freedom that they are supplying to your relationship.
They will constantly ask you if you are happy and need anything to
make your life better, satisfying and more enjoyable. You are free to
choose anything! This freedom energy will take your minute by
minute relationship activities and your entire life in the polar
opposite direction from control. Like opposite ends of a magnet,
these twenty-four ideologies have two polar opposing forces that
drive them to do the opposite things. Do you need your mate to
control you or do you need someone who sets you free?

24

A Daters Guide to Finding Your Soul Mate

If your mates mind is powered by affection, they will think about
touching you all the time. They will take baths with you, wash your
hair, give you massages and kiss you all over. Every moment will be
about their burning need to have more naked flesh contact with you.
If you marry a person powered by non-affection energy your mate
will crave isolation and constantly push you away. They will
absolutely hate to be naked. Touching you for just one minute makes
their skin crawl. Do you need affection or isolation from your mate?
If your mate's mind is powered by anger, they will think about
fighting all the time. They will obsess over boxing, hockey or every
game on TV. Your money will go for a big screen TV, season
tickets, the cable sports package and violent video games. They will
fight with you all the time. If you marry a person with the opposite
energy, your mate will be powered by love. Love energy will pull
your life in the opposite direction to focus your relationship on
romance. They will plan winery tours, beach vacations, massages,
antiquing and candle light romantic activities. Forget about fighting,
they need to make-out on the beach. Do you need someone to fight
with or do you need someone to fulfill your romantic dreams?
Do you see how these first six energies will set-up your marriage
dynamics from mental energies that can never be stopped? Their
loves and hates power their mind to do what they do. Each person
you date will have about twenty of these rigid thought energies that
drive them. If you choose to marry them, their twenty rigid
ideologies will drive your relationship. Also remember, we have
opposing truth and opposition blindness to deal with too. It quickly
becomes a tangled perspective mess. The more polar opposite your
mates characters are from your types the more of a tangled mess
your relationship becomes.
Each ideological opposition hates what the other side loves. For
example: when you see a tattoo do you say Wow, that is so cute! or
That is disgusting, why would you ever do that to yourself? When
you see a one pound hamburger do you drool or become so sick you
cant eat? Do naked bodies make you giggle or make you mad? How
do you react? How does your date react? Each opposing reaction is
caused by a love or hate of the exact same thing. These twenty-four
love-hate ideologies will combine to create your marriage dynamics.
Welcome to the real world of human relationships.

25

Opposing Personality Types in Relationships

The second half of Chapter 1, Relationship Dynamics

And pages 26 to 110 are not shown it this preview
Purchase your copy at Amazon.com

26

Chapter 15
Opposition of Temper
(Lovers vs. Fighters)

Opposing Personality Types in Relationships

It is a Cinderella story. Two lovers meet and at that moment they
know this is the one. They instantly connect and are both drawn to
each other by an unknown force. The relationship is strong although
not perfect, but they both expect to grow closer together and improve
with age. However, in seven years they end up like Edith and Archie
Bunker. He sits in his kings chair and watches the game on TV
while she folds clothes on the dining room table. During
commercials he complains about life, the people at work, the stupid
drivers and politics. She is usually in a daydream and is awkwardly
interrupted when he talks. She is probably daydreaming about
romance and how wonderful she wanted her life to be. Her
daydreams of romance are as close as she will ever get to having
someone love her. He is just not interested in romance anymore and
is rarely able to show more than a few seconds of love. Why?
Without knowing it, she married a fighter. Lovers and fighters have
polar opposing minds that will never connect and agree.
The following chapter will show you the difference between lovers
and fighters and what those differences can mean to you in your
relationship. When dating and everyone is on their best behavior, you
cannot easily tell the difference between these bi-polar types. You
need to look for some critical preliminary signs as indicators. If you
are very young, you will be able to pick up on the early signs and be
able to tell if you are a lover or a fighter and plan for the future. It
may not be easy to spot a lover or a fighter at first. The problem is
that when dating, a fighter in love often pretends to be a lover in
love, so there may be little difference an uneducated person will see
in the first few months. As with all personality types the older they
grow the more they begin to show their true identity. Archie Bunker
is our typical fighter personality stereotype. If you want to see what a
real fighter personality type is like, watch a few episodes of the All
in the Family TV series. It portrays a typical lover and fighter
marriage in their daily habitat.
My mind had been working on discovering these two people types
for many years. Love is the first basic relationship energy that God
wanted to create when he separated these two ideological sides into
love and hate. Actually all twenty-four bi-polar ideologies are
created by a love-hate separation, so this is the foundation ideology.

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I was surprised that these two personality types are not talked about.
Not much has ever been published on these two Lover and Fighter
personality types either. This could be one of the personality types in
this book that requires a test to tell the difference between these two
types. Not because others cannot tell the difference between them,
but because both sides refuse to admit to themselves who they really
are inside.
Fighter personality types refuse to be labeled as fighters. They do not
see themselves as people who like to fight. Arguing is a normal part
of their brain. Lovers do not want to be labeled as lovers either. I
guess it is because it makes men look like a sissy and women look
clingy and desperate. In these oppositions most of us will do almost
anything to not label ourselves. Maybe that is why this is all very
deceiving to us. Both sides have closed their eyes and dont want to
see themselves as they really are. This book is about seeing yourself.
Just remember, when you are looking at your date and ask them if
they are a lover or fighter type they will probably say neither or lie.
Almost no one will admit their real personality type here. You need
to determine these opposing types purely by their actions.
It appears in the beginning, when we are young, that everyone has
the same needs. Except for a few people who stand out as hardened
fighter personality types or lover personality types, everyone appears
to be the same. If you ask your teen lover or fighter partner about
their emotional needs, you will hear the exact same answers you
need to hear. They seem civil enough so you marry them.
However, as we will soon learn, these two personality types have
polar opposite mental outlooks on life. One of these people may
slowly mature from a bashful fighter into a strong fighter personality
type as their fighter personality develops and comes out. The lover
people types are easy, they do not change much. They are usually
bashful and inexperienced at first but their personality stays about the
same. They are powered by thoughts of love. Herein lies the
problem. It appears like two lovers married. However one of them
immediately starts to morph into a fighter. It happens magically.

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Why do lovers and fighter marry? I think it is because we missed the
obvious. First, like all oppositions, we did not know that there were
lover and fighter personality types. Second we did not understand the
major difference between these two types.
The big difference between lovers and fighters is very simple; they
are temper opposites. Fighters need to fight. That is whats inside
their head. You can tell this because they spend most of their time
watching sports on TV, playing video games or talking about
conflicts. As with most types, their type energy comes out of their
mouth and is expressed in words. They often start a conversation
with Oh that makes me so angry. Sound familiar? It is the favorite
phrase used by that famous cartoon fighter Marvin the Martian.
Fighters love to be mad at someone or something all the time. Anger
is whats inside their head and their major focus in life. Hardened
fighters will be into boxing, hockey and violent video games. Violent
games and violent movies allow them to release their intense need to
show anger. When they are not mad they love to talk about being
mad. They also love to have this anger show on their face. Fighters
usually have a mad look or a disgusted look. Just watch them. This
was a big Archie Bunker thing. They paused and took a sevensecond close-up of his disgusted look in almost every TV episode.
Showing a mad face actually started very early in life when they
were babies in their cribs. Since they could not talk they loved to
show you their mad face so you knew they were not happy. Actually
you can tell which babies are lovers and which babies are fighters at
a very young age by their facial expressions.
In elementary school you will begin to see little crushes appear on
the playground. Young lovers will hug or kiss on the cheek to
express their feelings of love. Little fighters however are unable to
express their feelings of love this way so you will often see a little
girl punch her favorite boy with a love punch. Love punches are very
commonly used to show affection at this age. They may even say I
hate you! It is their way of saying I love you. It is exactly the
same bi-polar temper energy, it is just reversed. Young fighters are
powered by the opposite energy from love and have not developed
what we call proper love skills. It is common to see this example of
love expressed by young fighters. Most boys and girls will eventually

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grow out of this early stage as they learn to hide their fighter energy
enough to date. However, they will always be powered by the
opposite energy from love and find it impossible to express internal
love like everyone else. They will usually just comply and allow you
to love for a few minutes even though they hate it. They do not
understand love and will always express their love as anger. They
will always find it yucky to be romantic. (Except when dating.)
Romance is a polar opposing mental energy.
The next trait of fighters is they are always in a hurry. They are the
speeders and the aggressive drivers. They are always screaming at
the other drivers and teaching them how to drive. Their daily
commute works them into a frenzy. At home they are always yelling
at the kids to hurry up. When you do go to a fancy restaurant, a
fighter will be the only one to complain about the slow service.
Lovers are the opposite. They are not in a hurry. They are the one
who says to the kids, take your time. A lover does not care about
slow service at a restaurant, it finally gives them a chance to slow
down and really talk.
Lovers are just as their name implies, they love to love. That is their
mental focus. Love is the mental energy that powers their mind. They
will often talk about love and forgiveness to many around them.
They are the caregivers who bring help, hope and peace to others.
That is what is inside their head, it just comes out. They watch the
mushy soaps on TV and spend the rest of their day imagining what it
would be like to be in a romantic relationship instead of watching
you yell at the game on TV. They would much rather be making-out
on a beach and listening to the surf. Just look at their screen saver or
background on their PC. It is pictures of sandy beaches or waterfalls
and water sounds. Lovers crave romance.
It is not easy to make lovers mad. You would need to push them all
day long on a very bad day to make them upset. Look to Edith
Bunker as the typical lover stereotype. She was often lost in her
romantic fantasies and was rarely upset. Even when she did explode
it was short and way too cute. Unlike fighters, lovers dont even
know how to get mad. They are the temper opposite of fighters.
Lovers will never say, They make me mad. They usually say,

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That person must be having a bad day. This comes from the
opposite mental view inside their head of anger. They just do not
think the same way as fighters inside their head. Because their
thoughts are focused on love and romance they do not understand
how to be angry. They are type blind and do not see anger. That is
why they often marry fighters.
Fighters are also complainers. This is one of their major traits. They
love to sit in their chair and complain for hours about everyone and
everything under the sun. If they have nothing to complain about
they will even complain about the fact that all they do is fight and
complain. Again Archie Bunker is our prime fighter personality type
example. He just loved to sit isolated in his easy chair and complain
for hours about the worlds problems. This TV series was so
successful because it is so true to life. Most fighter personality types
really do act just like this.
Please do not mistake a lover personality type with an affectionate or
a sexual person, those are other energies discussed in other chapters.
It just means they are non-confrontational. Because lovers are wired
with a peacemaking kind of love they are often seen by their calm
exterior. This is the opposite exterior of the high energy fighter. A
nurse is a good example of this type. They express their loving
attitude by caring for and mending the sick. Their love energy also
needs to fill the evening with romantic activity.
To summarize: fighters are competitive, in a hurry and love to
complain when they are not watching football, the races or playing a
video game. They are almost always watching sports and plan their
entire life around sports. They become mad very easily and love to
talk about being mad. They do not have the time or any energy for
making-love; they reserve all their time and energy for fighting.
Lovers are non-competitive forgivers. Sports are mainly for exercise,
to keep in shape. They do not like to hurry. They cannot think of
anything that would make them mad. Again this is because their
mental outlook is focused on love. If they do start to complain it
usually ends up with them counting their blessings and giving thanks.
They can turn any day into a good day. They spend their free time
playing with the kids and showing love by helping others.

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Romance and peace are the energies that dominate their thoughts.
They often start a conversation with the phrase Do you know what I
really love? This is the polar opposite of the fighter phrase Do you
know what I really hate? Look for these opposing phrases when
identifying this energy type in your date.
This guide is all about picking a mate that will automatically do what
you want and need in life. We know that a person powered with
certain energies will do the same things over and over again their
entire life. It is not possible for them to break out of their polar
ideology and become something different. (Except when dating,
romance is always used by the opposition as a dating tool.)
Look at these two temper opposites and decide how important it is
for you to marry a competitive or non-competitive person. This
ideology will determine if your marriage is powered by anger or
romance. Look at your wish list of marriage dynamics and pick a
style that fits your dream mate. Now look at your date to see if this
character in their head is powered by romantic fantasies or fantasy
football. It only takes a minute. These two bi-polar ideologies could
not be any more opposite. Who is your temper soul mate?
Do you read romance novels at football games? Are you often lost in
romantic fantasies and planning new playful adventures? Are these
romantic activities extremely important in your future relationship?
Do you want to hear a soft voice in the middle of the night from your
mate? If you crave love and now see that planning your entire life
around yelling at football games, going to the races and arguing all
the time would cause immense loneliness and heartache, write lover
personality type on your wish list for your future mates ideologies.
Do you look for ways to release anger? Do you need to vent
frustration? Do you plan your life around football, hockey, the races
or video gaming? If arguing, competition and TV sports are your life,
you may want to marry another fighter or a middler. Maybe you are
part of the thirty percent who do not have strong feelings about
competition or romance and can go either way depending on your
mate. That is fine; just overlook this ideology when picking the top
things you need your mate to do later in this book.

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Chapter 23
Opposition of Passion
(Sexual vs. Non-Sexual)

A Daters Guide to Finding Your Soul Mate

This chapter explains the bi-polar ideology of passion and how it
divides us into sexual opposites. Some people love sex. They sleep
naked and wake to sexual fantasies. They enjoy talking about sex.
Sex to them is an entire afternoon of sexual adventures. The other
side of this ideology is the polar opposite. They are powered by nonsexual energy. They hate sex. Their mind is not free to talk about
sex. Most of them cant even say the S word. Accidentally seeing
someone naked makes them mad. They make sure everyone sleeps
fully clothed. We definitely have two opposing sexual energies.
Seeing passion as a strict opposing ideology would be very easy and
this chapter would end here if it werent for another sexual energy,
hormones. During our teen and college years both sides are largely
powered by chemical hormones. Chemical hormones blur the clear
dividing line between people who love or hate sex. It makes some
non-sexual teens so horny they burn with desire and have sex
constantly. Because sex has both hormones and an opposing
ideology, seeing the two sides of this passion opposition is very
difficult. Hormones make it nearly impossible to tell if the person
you are dating loves or hates sex. It is usually a mid-life surprise.
This hormone clouded vision causes us to mistake non-sexual energy
for shyness or inexperience. This makes us marry our passion
opposite. We thought they were just being shy but later find that they
honestly hated having sex, their hormones forced them to have sex
against their will. That explains why people who hate sex will be
constantly trying to have sex with you. Hormones make non-sexual
people need you to make them climax.
No wonder our sex lives are all messed up. Ok, so everyone wants to
know if they will be sexually compatible. This book is about real life.
It is also about our thoughts that drive us. Some people are driven to
think about sex all the time; fantasies fill their mind continually and
overpower them. Their need is from this mental ideology.
The opposite side burns from a physical need caused by chemical
hormones. Both sides are driven to need sex. However, once these
youthful hormones disappear we will all become the passion type
inside our heads. That is your answer.

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Who will be sexually compatible later in life is determined by the
love or hate mental ideology of the person who lives inside. Once
those youthful hormones fade, the passion ideology of the person
who is left will emerge and be the one you need to live with.
The real question is: Which side of this passion ideology powers
them mentally? Do they enjoy having sex with you because they love
sex and think sex is fun, or are they the opposite? Do they resist
having sex because they think sex is positively hateful, but
eventually their hormones build and overpower their nonsexual
ideology and force them to need to climax? It is this mental
agreement or disagreement with their hormones that shows you their
real passion type. The problem is; these two love-hate passion
opposites look exactly the same to inexperienced teens looking for a
partner. That is because hormones will cause both of these opposing
sides to jump you from a burning sexual need. So how do we
separate these hormones away to see if they truly love or hate sex
inside their mind and avoid a big surprise later in life?
We will begin by explaining the major differences between physical
hormone energy and mental passion energy. Not knowing the
differences between hormones and passion energies confuses most of
us and causes us to pick an opposing partner. We then fight an
unending battle with our mate we do not understand. In the end we
blame girl-guy hormone differences for our sexual problems and
accept the struggle. However, it is not girl-guy differences causing
the problem; it is a passion war caused by two people with opposing
passion ideologies.

The second part of Chapter 23, Opposition of Passion

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Chapter 37
The
War Between
Warm & Cold Souls
The vast majority of people who read this guide will be warm souls.
I will focus on you and your needs here. This final chapter was
specifically written for Lovers and Touchers. I will explain how to
find a soul who has the ability to return your love. I would caution
all Fighters and Non-touchers to stop reading here. From this point
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Opposing Personality Types in Relationships

We automatically thought that the people we are attracted to think
like us; they do not. We are all powered by polar opposing minds.
Who would have thought that these twenty-four ideologies would
separate us into people with rigidly opposing needs?
Were you looking for a dream guy to be the center of your world?
Did you want him to gaze into your eyes over a candle-light dinner?
Then cuddle on the beach in the moonlight and skinny dip in the
ocean before making-love - but he didnt! All your guy did was use
you for five minutes of sex and run to the TV? Does loneliness haunt
you all the time? Do you need more from him, but the more you beg
the more resistant he becomes? The problem is not you; it is his inner
ideologies that will never allow him to return your love.
Actually the problem is you! The problem is: you chose a super-cute
guy on the outside; ignoring how cold he treats you, hoping that
someday he would change and love you back. But he never did!
Why? His face is so cute you failed to see that his inner soul is cold.
He looks so right that you will never see how wrong he is for you.
You are trapped by your desires in a cold relationship.
I wrote this dating guide for you and the millions of people like you
who are lonely inside and do not understand why your relationships
cause immense loneliness. I can show you the secret answer. It is
your hope and change mentality. You hoped this cold guy would
change into a dream lover. The problem is; people dont change!
Contrary to popular belief, opposing couples do not grow closer
together. Believing this lie causes most of us to accept our opposite
and waste our life in couples therapy trying to teach them how to
love us back. But how can you teach your opposite to care for you
when each one of their ideologies hates each one of your needs?
The correct answer is; you cant. That is why you can stand in front
of TV boy naked and he just says Stop being mean! and will push
around you to see the TV. This cute boy is trying to tell you
something. He is telling you romance is boring, intimacy is irritating
and passion is disgusting, but you arent listening. This is more than
no energy. TV boy never satisfies you because the ideologies in his
soul are cold. That is why he only uses you for fast hormone sex. It
does not matter how great looking or intelligent they may appear, the
secret is: People are born the way they are and always will be.

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This cold guy will always talk to you during commercials while
looking at his phone. He wants you; he just wants you to leave him
alone! He thinks all girls are clingy, hateful and annoying as you.
You are so open, affectionate, loving and kind you cant imagine that
anyone could possibly exist who is this unlovable. That was your
first mistake; you did not know that cold souls existed when dating.
Surprise, they do exist! And now to hear from him that he thinks you
are the one who is mean and hateful is very confusing? How can this
be? He is the one who hates intimacy and is rejecting your needs for
romance, affection and passion. Right?
Not exactly; these are the opposing truths we studied earlier. Look at
the real energy he is supplying to you, not the energy he verbally
says he is. Everyone thinks they are the sexist person in the universe,
yes, even cold TV boy. That is how everyone sees themselves.
Because he gives you sex a few times each month (even though he
hates it) he thinks he is Mr. Sexy. This is not totally made-up. To
keep you under his cold spell, he constantly tells you no other guy
will give you this much sex. He confused you because he says he
loves romance and is very sexy, but he will never allow himself to do
anything romantic or sexy for you. All he does is watch TV all
weekend. He constantly tells you how wonderful and sexy he is but
when you ask him to prove it by taking a romantic bath, he cant do
anything. He is all talk and no action. Why?
If you list his ideologies you will see that several of his love energies
are cold and the opposite polarity of your warm energies. Opposing
energies create people who see love from the opposite perspective.
The universe used your blindness to pin you with your ideological
enemy. Sorry. It loves to play this cruel game! That is why he is
closed minded and hateful and is always accusing you of being mean
and hateful. He thinks your body is disgusting and your need for
intimacy is hateful, so you appear mean and hateful to him. It does
not matter how much you beg, his cold nature will never allow him
to be intimate or make-love to you. Having quick sex twice per
month is far beyond any warmth he is even able to imagine. Dont
expect any more. To him, warmth is quick sex. It is not possible for
his cold mind to think or do anything beyond what he is already
doing for you.

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Everyone sees the world through the illusions created by their
ideologies. You too. That is why you saw romance and affection in a
person who loves to hate. You did not know that affection opposition
exists because you only saw the world through your love and desire
filled eyes. If you list his ideologies you will see that he will never be
a lover. He hates that disgusting stuff. You are trapped in a cold
relationship with a person whose ideologies have love and hate
backwards from you. Now; try to see people as they really are.
It is so much better to set-out from the very beginning looking for the
correct type of person for you. Reject everyone who has major
opposing ideologies from you because they will hate who you are
and will refuse to take care of your needs. You now see the warm
energies you need from your mate. If you think supply and return
energies this time you will find someone who will freely give you all
the love you need in a warm 2-way relationship, not cold walls of
hate filled opposition. If you need a dream lover, only search for and
only date guys who are open, affectionate, adoring and intimate like
you. They will supply every one of your needs before you ask.
Stop listening to girlfriends who say that a man should not be your
entire life, they are wrong. They are your ideological opposite who
hates intimacy and does not understand your need for affection. Most
people need a partitioned lifestyle where they only share a few
minutes of sex with their spouse. The rest of their time they need to
be left alone to entertain themselves. Cold relationships are fine for
the normal person.
However, to begin this journey, you need to see that you arent cold
or normal! You need warmth. (Surprisingly most people cant offer
you that.) Look inside yourself; you are made of the beautiful love
energies that most people only read about in books. Very few people
have ideologies to make them a fantastic lover. So why are you
pretending to love a cold unlovable guy? He will never see how
precious you are inside because his cold ideologies hate your love
ideologies. If you do what they say and settle on this cold guy, you
will be crying for intimacy, affection and passion your entire life. A
cold soul will never love you back; they can only supply anger.

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But this guide has opened your eyes to see relationship ideologies.
You can see the warm ideologies that make you need intimacy and
affection. You can also see the cold energies in TV boy that make
him a stone wall and prevent any satisfaction from happening. You
can now see inside everyones soul and now see several men who
need romance, affection or passion just like you. These are the
people who look to their mate for intimacy, affection, romance and
sexual entertainment, not sixteen hours of sucking energy from a TV.
After reading this guide, you may see that you were so in-love with
his cute face, you failed to notice he is self-consumed. His phone, his
gaming, his TV and sports are (and always will be) his true loves.
Look at the polarity of every ideology in his soul. These cold mental
energies make him incapable of any intimacy with a real human,
which explains why he hates to spend time on what you need and
consumes the TV, his phone and his laptop all day. Why?
You missed one major opposition. We thought that everyone
marries to have someone to love. That is a Fairytale, only thirty
percent marry for love. We are deceived because we do not know
the truth about relationships. We now know there are just as
many people who marry to have someone to hate. That is why
TV boy will not allow you to love him and cannot love you back!
Warm souls marry to have someone to love, honor and cherish, but
cold souls marry to have someone to hate, reject and ignore. Cold
souls are tormenters. They need to marry a warm soul to torment.
That is why a cold soul needs to marry a warm soul. They need to
marry their love opposite because they need their marriage to be a
war zone. Why is it no one ever told me this?
Is it really possible to go against the higher forces of nature and find
your soul mate who will love you back instead of fighting a war?

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The remaining 27 pages revealing the astounding truths

behind this secret war between warm and cold souls are
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A Daters Guide to Finding Your Soul Mate

Thank you for reading my book preview.
Do you have new eyesight that you did not have before you started
reading my preview? I gave you a large sample because I wanted you
to see that this dating guide really does open your eyes and how this
eyesight will help you find your Soul Mate. By now Im sure you
noticed that this is not your typical cookie cutter write-for-hire
book from the New York City book industry that has chapter after
chapter stuffed full of empty words. No empty words here. In fact
this book is far from typical. I personally agonized over every word
just for you. Each sentence comes from the heart and is full of life
changing information to assist you in your Soul Mate search. It was
not written by a ghost writer who has no personal connection with
the subject. In this preview I gave you one ideology chapter, the
introduction of a second ideology and samples of two supporting
chapters. The entire guide contains twenty-four ideology chapters
and one dozen supporting chapters that are stuffed full of need-toknow information. Each chapter is designed to help you see clearly
and make your soul mate search easier. I hope I gave you a real
picture of my dating guide and what it can do for you. This guide is
so easy to use because these are the real ideologies that are inside
everyone. It is also a complete package, which is why I called it a
dating guide.
All of you reading this guide are opposite types and in very different
places; however all of you need the exact same relationship help.
Some of you have never even been on your first date. Some of you
are dating but cannot find anyone you like. Some of you are
frustrated and confused. Some of you are trapped in an opposing
relationship. Some of you are divorced. All of you are opposites and
need the opposite guidance. I wrote this dating guide to help all of
you understand relationship energies so that you do not go through
your entire life blind, frustrated, lonely and confused. Once you see
these relationship energies inside yourself and in others, you will
have the ability to steer your life on a path to successful relationships
and find that perfect Soul Mate who will treat you right.
If this preview helped you understand your relationships please share
this link with your friends. Thanks.

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Opposing Personality Types in Relationships

Our author is an amateur partial theorist who broke away from

regular quantum physics as he began to see non-traditional energy
forms that are unseen by scientists today. This is his first published
work to explain how particle, mental and spiritual energies converge
to power our universe.
The author had also written a science paper on energy that explained
in detail his formulas and theories on these bi-polar energy sources
that power our minds. In it he explained how to create new bi-polar
mental energy types and how to control this energy. However we
decided releasing that kind of information would be far too
dangerous. We recommended that he destroy this manuscript and all
personal records from existence so they do not fall into evil hands.
However, we thought you would enjoy reading about this secret
world of human ideologies and how they energize everyones mind
with thought energy. The author reformatted this new version for the
average soul mate seeker, removing most of the energy theory. We
hope this publication helps to guide you in your future relationships
as you are able to see these opposing ideologies inside everyone.

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The revolutionary ideas presented in this book are solely the theories
of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the
publishing groups or its partners. Neither the author, the publishers
nor the distributors shall be held liable in any way for the accuracy
or use of any information found in this publication.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be printed, photo
copied, reproduced, recorded, transmitted or televised without
written consent from the author. All electronically stored book copies
are purchased, regulated and governed under a strict licensing
agreement between the author, the distributors and the purchaser
under electronic book copyright laws. They may not be copied, emailed or reproduced. It is against the law. All national and
international rights reserved.

Opposing Personality Types in Relationships

A Daters Guide to Finding Your Soul Mate
is a Copyright of Daren Brodish
Copyright 2011
Rev. 7

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