....

THE
1993 The Iron Warrior Waterloo, Friday, March 26, 1993
Engineering Bus Push
for Big Sisters
Claire Anderson
3AChemicai
T
he long awaited 17th Annual BUS
PUSH for Big Sisters took place on
Saturday, March 13, 1993. For
those of you who have had your heads
buried in the sand and are unaware of
what exactly this event is all about, pay
attention! The way it works is as follows: a
HUGE rope is attached to the front of the a
Kitchener-Waterloo transit bus, donated
this year by HCCG RJEL, and a bunch of
crazy engineering students pull it from
our fair campus in lovely Waterloo to
Market Square in downtoWn a
distance of 65 Ian. Yes, we pull tl\e bus,
sony to disappoint those of yo -ho had
your hearts set on pushing, but aus PULL
just doesn't sound right All those partici-
pating collected pledges from family,
friends and even complete strangers with
all the proceeds going to Big Sisters. Our
goal this year was $6,000 and as of the
deadline of this publication, the actual
amount raised is not yet known.
The day of this fabulous event dawned
with cold winds and threats of a blizzard.
This didn't stop over 100 engineers from
AeaseSee OVER- Al3
Over $3(XX) was raised fur Big Sisters by the Engineers.
Strange
ew World
Since August 1992, Midtael Rais has lm1 a
1XIrtidJX1l1t in a Gmt/da World Youth Exchange
to Indonesia. III May 1993, he will return to
Waterloo to shldy Systems Design Engineering
in Iris 3B tenn. Michael UXJUld likE to thank the
gnriJus financial assisImu:e Engineering S0ci-
ety "8", the Sandford Fleming Foundation, the
department of Systems Design, the Systems
Design cInss of 1994 ("What") and certain indi-
viduals.
I
ndonesia, the realization that I had final-
ly arrived at Sukarno-Hatta Airport
struck me when a wave of hot, sticky air
engulfed me After two full days of air trav-
el I had croo;ed the Atlantic Ocean. Europe
ani all of Asia, and had anived in Jakarta,
Indonesia's capitaL Now I wou1d spend the
next ten days pumeying in the direction of
Maruwei Saw. a remote village of 700 pe0-
ple in the centre of the island on Borneo.
This my first direct exposure to Indone-
sia. to an Asian ruIrure and to a 'developing'
nation. I found a country diver.ie, oomplex
and very different from Canada, and
throughwt my pumey I chased an under-
standing of the people and societies I .
eocountered.
I am in Indonesia as a participant in a
Canada World Youth exchange with that
country. From September to December, I
lived in Canada with my twenty-five year-
old Indonesian 'counterpart', Sapto. We
lived as members of a family in St. Marys,
Ontario; six other counterpart pairs (one
Canadian and one Indonesian) lived with
six other families in St. Marys. In addition.
similarly composed groups existed in
Aylmer and Simcoe, Ontario. Now we are
three group; living in three communities in
Kalimantan Tengah; Sapto and I live with a
family in Maruwei Satu. By this arrange-
the exchange enrourages an examina-
tion of the roncept of conununi.ty and s0ci-
ety in both Canada and Indonesia.
I anived in Jakarta on the thirteenth of
December and spent the next ten days in
transit to Maruwei Satu. I travelled together
with the twenty other Canadians and twen-
ty one Indonesians who had previously
stayed in Canada We spent four days in
Jakarta, then flew to Pa1anka Raya. the capi-
tal ofI<alimanlan Tengah. After being billet-
ed with families for two days we took a river
boat to Muara Tewell, the capital of the Bali-
to Utara (or Na.ih Barlto) dSrict. This pur-
ney took the better part of three days and
was truly memorable. We spent a further
two days billeted in Muara Teweh before
embarking on the speedboat ride to
Marunei Satu.
Indonesia is an archipelago, or perhaps
more aptly, the archipelago; with 13,700
islands and the longest coastline of any
country, it is hard to imagine a more varied
cwntry, in geography ani people. Though
BaJasa Indonesia is the lingua fraoca of the
entire country, over :m languages are sp0-
ken in its Zl provinces, with plentiful regi0n-
al dialtrls of these languages col'lf'ming mat-
ters yet more. There are five main religions;
Hindu, Buddhist, Islam, Christianity and
Animism. The last of these refers to the
bexiy ofbeliefs centering on spirit and aIlCe!r
tor worship that existed in various fonns in
parts of Indonesia before the anival of the
other religions. The 175 million Indonesian
people live free from religious conflict; in
Palanka Raya, I saw a mosque beside a
church, both in a Hindu neighbourhood.
After an autumn of Canada's constitutional
wrangling, the diversity present in Indone-
sia seemed mind-boggling.
Jakar1a is unlike any city in Canada. The
capital of Indonesia, it is located on the
island of Java. It is obvkus to a visitor that
this island, with a population of 100 IlliIliol\
Pleagesee JNDC>NeiIAN-A8
Section A
A2
The Prez Spews Puzzle
by Our Very Late EngSoc Prez
T
o all those faithful readers of the
Prez Spews column please don't
fret knowing this will be the last
column of the tenn. I realize that the
gospel of meat has shed light on your
lives for three months now, but please
find the strength and courage to go on.
Don't forget that in five short months we'll
be reunited again and you can once more
hang on my every word
To those of you who cannot face the
summer without my misspelled words of
wisdom please speak to Cheryl and get
on the directors and class rep mailing list
EXOTIC WORDS
The topic of exotic words came up in
it, five years is a long time. For most of us,
these five years fall in our prime. The past
four years have been the best of my life
and I anxiously await the fifth.
Considering the assignments, labs and
exams I don't think it would work any
other way. The demands of our pro-
grams (chems excluded) force many of us
to rely on our classmates resulting in
some serious bondage?!!?? Last sunday
my classmates and I were extremely tired
and not very interested in assignments.
We pulled together and had us one mean
13 hour concrete party. Special thanks to
Partner Pam and Kanchan of Konkrete
for helping me through problem #3.
During high school, I rowed at the Hen-
ley course in St Catharines. All winter
high school crews train hard and face

win or lose all the crews gather for the
most spectacular party ever. This
work hard play ethic is present in Engi-
neering. Despite the blood sweat and
[I:


I' C) 0
II) II) II) 8
-i


1 .
fir 0
::s 8'OQ



C) ....
S; (ij (ij



011)0'"
en
8' QQ' 0
c::
;: ....
!i

U)

Co)

....
]: , <

i:&

..

Iii

i

8-
m;
pa'ZHl!CU ldA lOU <tAl!\{ O\{M SJuaplllS a90lfl
01. 'sap:owaw '(1l? "'llSfld qsng '1UtUS
'sm 'flea Pru9 '.!1M
do-o:) 'SlUaWl'!Wn01 aq1.
os SWdaS put!
){nq:>.It!llt!Z PJAt!Q alll qHM Wla1 all1
JO lmIS <tlfl Ol :>Pllq){OOI I '.IalU!M 1uap
se paAofua aAl'!l{ Aneal I
M31h3lj HI ,.1131 3H1
'(:>os V Aq V8.L puno:)
1UJoi Slawmns 5Jll1 S! a10u fl'!pads JO
'laillWnS SJ1.O pamroM Al!jS 01 llSJM halfl
n (sassazppl? luaU\?U.I.JaCf lO) U1lal HO .Ifc)l{l
l{l!M :>OS apJAOld 1snm 5aHJl?Cl
lalflO pUt! OOal ssep 'Slo.paIJp rrv
30H30NOdS311HOO ,.1131 :l:lO
UI.I<q l{lg a\fllOJ sdax ssep
JO sasSdlPpe pUt'! saurnu a\fll{l!M (ssap
-p09 a:>!WO) lAla4J apJAOld aseald
'5aPTIOO :>JW
-apIDt! pUt'! do-o:) se tpns Slallt!W lOJ SUO!
-UJdo a:>JoA pUt'! paWlOJU! Al!jS 01 5aAya5
-moA Ol H aMO no A 'SlJl'!JJl'! :>!Wapt!:>t!
yepnD lOJ sma pUt! 5aha mOA 51 :>OS
:Alapos al{l UNl!M paluas
-a.Idal fiCM lOU all'! OllM sassep a50\fl 01
e sv UI.I<q 6. l{lg al{l lOJ 5aAJl
-l!juasarda.I ssep P<lta pynoqs sasst?p rrv
(,(,(,Sd3lj SSV10 &6. 11'1.:1
lsnf -l{lg al{l lOJ S5aUJSrlq mOA
OlUJ asou AW Ol plt!MloJ ){OOI
I iSlDparp MaU lIt? ell
SII01031110 M3N
1X>9luros mm 1. St! poJJalUl'!f[t!A SN
lOJ '(ePads 5aA.IaSap happng
UMt!llS AepP:d
lOJ sst!P AW pnl'!rdde Aprrqnd
ell hl!Ufll.loddo S'!4l ell d'ffi P{TlOM. I
UJt!ldwoo AlJt!all,Ut!:> I uru a\fl al3ld
-woo ell AYUO alfl
pUt'! alaM It!ql 5anp MaJ
t! aJaM aJatU. uru moq
al{l lO1 anD
St! Ja){PUt!S led put! sauros uaI.It!(I lfl!M)
Ammg lapuntU. a\fl palond I uru
a\fllnoqe SJU!t!Jdwoo awos aAl'!l{ op I
iiiiiiTlVd
1.X3N A S1.Nn:)S 11V dO
3HL 9.NI..l.N3S&l 3g TUM
ADX QHmV M 3g S3SSV1:) 11V
lJaAofua
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993
The exec has chosen seven recipients of
the Presidents award this term I know
what your thinking: 'Why is it called the
presidents award if the exec selects the
recipients?" ANSWER: The award is so
named because each recipient receives an
autographed picture of yours truly. As
Hightower 'Master of the Universe' point-
ed out; it is also given that name so that
when people are pissed that they don't get
one, they only get mad at one person.
As the Engineering Society is mainly
composed of students who don't need
money, rewards must be in the form of
symbolic gestures. Directors who have
perfonned above and beyond the call of
duty for the Engineering Society are pre-
sented with the Presidents award A glass
mug (beverage included) and certificate
will have been awarded to the following
indivic!paIs at the last Eng Soc meeting of
the teI-,., (Mm::h 24):
Bus Push
Jackie Dragert Recycling
Dave Kiers Recycling
Kim Farwell IW Advertising
Peter de6chulthess IW Advertising
Robert Wong C&D Manager
Doreen Stahle Eng Soc Accountant
Graham Murphy Co-op Coordinator
Thankyou to all the recipients for their
efforts in making the term a great one
CLASS REP AWARDS
A class rep has the difficult task of car-
ing for their class's social, academic and
political needs. This demanding position
is extremely important to both the society
and to the individual students. A great
class rep has the ability to make your stay
here at UW Engineering a great one.
Have you thanked your class rep today?
II)
o
a:
c(

c(
t/)
!Z
w
o
iii
w
a:
D.
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
=2= =
The Super Nifty Clip nl Save
IW Bike Prim.er
Spajnquarn
DAWGS
T
he sun is beginning to shine
brighter. The air smells better am
the snOW is starting 10 melt Spring
is here and it a young man's (or
woman's) mind turns to thoughts of huge
pre-dawn pancake breakfasts, screaming
downhills and epic traiI rides.
What's that? You say that you seldom
think of getting up before dawn for any-
thing, let alone a bike ride? My work term
fantasies aside, I think that just about
everyone on campus owns a bicycle.
Whether it's a Canadian TIre special or an
American BiCYcles beryllium wonder bike,
I think that even you have something in
your shed with two whrels and pedals.
For those of us who are in the market for
a new bike, the world can be a scruy place.
What with hyper-active sales people push-
ing Cro-Moly this and alloy that, your
head is spinning as soon as you walk in
the door of your local bike shop. This arti-
cle is intended to be a handy-dandy clip
and save reference guide 10 what 10 look
for when shopping for a new bike. Seeing
as how my bike gave up on rre about half
way through tny sojourn in Port Elgin, this
is all stuff I should be reviewing myself.
So, let's get this show on the road.
SO WHATCHA WANT?
There are basically three kinds of bikes
available to consumers at the moment:
road bikes, mountain bikes and hybrids.
Road bikes have skinny little tires, light
fraInes and drop handle bars. Mountain
bikes have fat tires, heavy duty frames am
straight handle bars. Hybrids, as the name
might imply, are a mish-mash of both of
the aforementioned types. Both road and
mountain bikes are supported by vast net-
works of riders and resources whereas
hybrids are generally laughed at by both
sides.
The choice of what kind of bike 10 buy is
entirely up to you. In order to make the
right decision.. you have to look at the con-
ditions the bike will have 10 survive. Do
you want to ride off road and bemrre the
next Tomac or do you want to ply the tar-
mac and become Waterloo's answer to
Induran?
Road bikes are sleek and fast but are
kind of weak and fragile. Mountain bikes
are really tough and sturdy but are cum-
bersome and slow outside of their natural
surroundings. Personally, I think that
mountain bikes are perfect for students.
They can be thrown around quite a bit and
still come out smelling like a rose. Hybrids
are a comprOlnise at best You can't take
them out on the trail because the wheels
are too narrow and you can't compete
with a road hike because the bike is just 100
dam heavy.
MAKE IT FIT
If you're in the market for a road bike,
sizing is easy. All you have 10 do is strad-
dle the bike and make sure that there's no
less than 1 inch between your crotch and
the lop tube.
Mountain bikes, on the other hand, are a
little more complicated to size owing to
their unique geometry and purpose.
When you go shopping for a new moun-
tain bike, take a rmlSuring tape with you.
Measure the distance from the centre of
the crank bolt 10 the lop of the lop tube or,
if the lop tube is slanted, 10 the place where
the lop tube would be if it was perfectly
horizontal. This is what is ronsidered by
roost 10 be the true frame size. Since differ-
ent manufacturers all have different rreth-
ods of measurement, two bikes with the
same frame size printed on their boxes
may in fact be wildly different m size. The
difference can be almost two inches in
some instances. The next thing you'll
want 10 know is the bottom bracket height
This is taken from the centre of the crank
bolt 10 the ground. An average number
for this measurement is 11.5 inches.
Again, if the bike is a rouple roore inches
off the ground than most, it's a bigger bike
despite what the frame sjze is marked as
on the box. If you're romfortable on your
old bike, take all the same measurements
from it and take them with you. Look for
sorrething similar. This really makes life a
lot easier.
Now that you've done all that, you're
ready 10 straddle the bike. Make sure that
there is at least 3 inches of free space
between your crotch and the lop tube. The
reasons for this should be obvious. To set
the saddle height, line one of the crank
anns up with the seat tube and extend
your leg until your heel just brushes the
pedal. Some quick ways 10 eyeball it are
by having the top of the saddle about 3
inches above the handle bars and about 8
inches of sea t post showing.
The last thing 10 look at is right in front
Please See UNABASHED -AlO
FREE DELIVERY
In
WATERLOO
33 University Ave. East
WATERLOO
746-4111
MONDAY
Large 18
ft
Pizza
A3
Co-op Hates Us
Chris DeBrusk
IW Staff
W
hile dancing to the first round
- second co-op tune a couple of
weeks ago, I spoke rather
extensively with a number of coordinators.
I had the pleasure of dealing with two of
them while I was attempting to get a job
signed off of my ranking fonn and the oth-
ers were looking for opinions about the
new co-op system that they are trying out
in second rounds.
A very curious thing came out of one of
the ronversations. It seems that there are a
number of coordinators that have less than
great feelings for those of us here at the
Iron Warrior. They feel that perhaps we
aren't fair to them when we do our co-op
bash every term. Upon reflection I sup-
pose that we do do our fair share of co-op
bashing, but who can blame us. Co-op has
to admit that over tlle last rouple of years
they haven't chosen the best people to
screw with.
I believe it was our past president Sean
Murphy who started the co-op bashing
momentum up again. If I remember ror-
rectly, co-op failed to send out any of his
resumes, including one to a company he
had arranged his own interview with. He
didn't get a job and ended up messing
around in second rounds. At that point, he
did do a little ... well OK, a whole lot of c0-
op bashing, but who can blame him.
More recently, co-op felt it necessary to
withdraw Scott Chandler, our illustrious
editor, .from inteJviews. Luckily he caught
the mistake and managed to get himself
back into interviews and at last check he
even managed to get a job.
Then there was the Colin Hung episode.
I had the pleasure to be standing beside
Colin when he talked to the coordinator
who hassled him (see VP F"mandal spews,
last issue). It seemed to me as if the roordi-
nator was talking to a mistaken child,
rather than someone who he was being
paid to help. I was surprised that Colin
held his temper as long as he did.
Later the same day I had the pleasure of
dealing with two other coordinators
because I needed a rouple of jobs signed
off. The first was all smiles until she real-
ized what my request was. At this point.
her tone became accusatory and she
demanded to know why. While the reason
why I wanted the job signed off isn't
important, the reaction I got when I asked
for it to be done is. J got much the same
reaction from the second roordinator that I
dealt with.
I don't understand who these people
think they are. They are being paid to help
us, yet they were both more concerned
about what their rompanies would think
and were singularly uninterested in my
explanations as to why I was not interested
in the jobs.
Now, looking back, I find everything
that happened disgusting. If I behaved
toward any of my professors or one of the
university administrators the way those
coordinators behaved towards me, I
would not be at this university for very
long. Yet it seems as if this type of thing
happens all the time.
I'm sure that co-op doesn't mess up
every student they deal with but occasion-
ally, they really do screw up. After think-
ing about it, I have two suggestions for the
co-op department The first it to be polite.
They could probably avoid a great deal of
the negative that get said or written
about them if they were more polite when
they deal with students.
The I make simply because they
don't seem fo be abJe to get their act .
together. Pa;t a list somewhere in the m-
op offic ) back room of \11 th) En Soc
directors, executive and Iron Warri r staff
and make sure that very thing about their
co-op applications is p rfeet. That way
when they screw up it won't be plastered
all over these pages. It seems co-op is suf-
fering from an acute lack of because
they always seem to nail the wrong pe0-
ple.
GIANT Pizza Slice & Pop
TUESDAY
Buy 1 Panzerroti
Regular
Deluxe
$1.99
$2.35
Famous Italian Sandwiches


Pasta
WEDNESDAY
Medium 14" Pizza
The absolute most important faclor 10
consider WPen looking for a new bike is fit
If a bike doesn't fit you properly, it's going
to be hell to ride. Luckily, there are a few
simple guidelines 10 bike sizing that can be
followed.
With 2 Items at the regular price With 2 Items
4 Cans of Pop Get the 2nd for 2 Cans of Pop
$12.99 $1.00 $9.99
A4
Colin Hung
3B Mechanical
A
lio! Allo! .. , Spew ... spew ... spew
... get the idea?! [Trez: Hope you're
happtj Scott]
Last issue, I wrote about giving a presi-
dent's award to a co-op coordinator and I
asked for nominations. I received one.
ONE nomination .. Bueller ... Bueller ... So it
looks like Mr. Graham Murphy will
receive the award this term. From the sto-
ries I've heard he definitely seems to
deserve one. A big rongrats.
A big congrats must also go to Claire
Anderson, Janine Giorgiev for organizing
and running a great Bus Push. The
pledges are not all in yet, but it looks like it
will top $4000. Thanks to all those who
came out and pushed and thanks to all
who donated money or food to the event
Another congrats to Lisa, Dilan and Jen-
nifer for pulling off the Tal-Eng show. I
don't think too many people realize how
much work you guys put into it, but that's
because you made it look so easy. Thanks.
WelL the term is winding to a clooe so if
you are still spending money for your
directorship (which I don't encourage),
please have your expense request in no
later than Wednesday March 31. If you
WEEF Morton
Dave Director
A
s yet another term comes to a
close, tension mounts, labs and
projects are due and sleep is for-
gotten. Fear not however, all is well with
the Engineering Endowment. Funding
allocations are proceeding on schedule, the
Employer Matching Contribution cam-
paign is underway and we've already
received proposals for our next funding
decision
One of the items which the Funding
Council, your WEEF representatives,
decided to fund was the Vertica1 Milling
machine for the Student shop. 1bis is not
going to be necessary however, as the
Dean has informed me of the decision to
close the Ancillary machine shop in E1.
The equipment from that shop will be dis-
tributed to the Chern Eng machine shop,
the main Machine shop and the Student
shop. So our machine shop will be receiv-
ing a "free" milling machine. As well
other assorted pieces of equipment will
The Executive Page
The Iron Warnor, Friday, March 26, 1993
miss this date, your cheque will be mailed
to you during the work term. So if you are
handing in an expense form after the 31st,
make sure you put your mailing address
on it ... otherwise no cheque.
In closing. I'd just like to say. WE sm..L
HAVE NO MONEY. Thanks to Kather-
ine, Oleryl, Cindy, Doreen, Rob, Amy and
the rest of the Orifice groupies for putting
up with me this term and goodbye to
Smurphy, Sean J., Serge and Pat
Hey DAWGS - got room in your class
for one more? fed: We always have room
for you Colin]
also be given to the Student shop. The
$14'170 which the WEEF allocated to pur-
chase the milling machine will be returned
to our expendable account, and spent this
summer by the other stream in their fund-
ing decision.
As you may have noticed, Directorship
applications are. due for the Engineering
Society. However, the WEEF is also look-
ing for people to help run the Endowment
during the Fall term, 93. Consider the
WEEF as a place where you can work on
some interesting projects and really make
a difference in your education and your
schooL The experience you gain is also
great and it looks good on your resume.
I've been asked about it in interviews
before and used it as an example of skills I
have learned in project management, deal-
ing with aises, leadership and organiza-
tion.
Thanks to all you Plummers Pledgers,
your rontributions are an investment in
your own and in our futures.
Kim Jones
3A Chemical
C
ongratulations to all new directOIs I
think we have an group of
people for next term, and I'm look-
ing forward to worl<ing with all of you. To
anyone who didn't apply for a directorship, I
would enrourage you to rome into the 0ri-
fice at any time and help out (there's always
sometl:Ung to do) or just hang out
For the summer term, there will be one
conference. The ESSCO (Engineering Stu-
dent Society Council of Ontario) Annual
General Meeting will be in Toronto, proOObly
near the end of June. It is a weekend event,
so no valuable worl< time would need to be
missed, plus it's a great chance to meet
dynamic people from other universities. To
sign up, pick up an application form in the
Orifice and return it to my box pronto (the
term is after all almoot over).
A couple of high school programs recently
came to our campus. Explorations wel-
comed over 100) elementary school students
and their parents to engineering. while Cam-
pus Day revealed the wonders of Waterloo
to wide-eyed grade thirtEen students.
Explorations, which has recently taken the
maprity of my time, is now serendipitously
over. The event which happened on &ttur-
day, March 13th, was a vay big SU<:ce$ The
SU<ll!SS was largely due to the assistance of
about eighty students and faculty members.
Those in attendance were taken on hour long
tours which involved moot aspec1s of engi-
neering.
Some of the displays were particularly
popular. A mOOt playing golf intrigued the
schoolchildren, as did a virtual reality cfur
play. The Midnight Sun solar car inspired a
Jot of interest from both parents and students.
If the demonstrators had been more interest-
ed in pecuniaIy recompense than selfless
instruction, the Midnight Sun team could
doubtless have made themselves a tidy sum.
A la<;er mochining display creatOO effigies
of Calvin on wood, which were fairly distrib-
uted to the avid students. A quicksand cfur
play and a pool fire display (fire tempera-
tures were measured with lasers) were also
verywell received.
The 100) visitors were warmly welromed
to Waterloo and the engineering profegOOn
Organizationally, the process was smooth,
thanks mostly to some student volunteers
(like Man: & Colin - thanks guys). Everyone
involved had a super time. A final thanks
has to go to the IRan's office staff for coping
with mountains of administration Hopeful-
ly next year, things will go even better.
Campus Day was another success. As
usual, countless horoes of high school stu-
dents overwhelmed the campus in their
quest for knowledge. All deputments had a
number of good displays (many similar to
thooe in Explorations). A lot of questions
were asked. at the Admissions, Co-op and
Women in Engineering booths, and were
answered with vim. If all goes welL we'll see
many of t:hc6e students here as fro;h next fall
The Women in Engineering committee
recently had a speaker from the Human
Rights Commission to which all were invit-
ed. For t:hc6ewho were previously unaware
of the legal aspects of discrimination and
harassment, the presentation was very infor-
mative.
Also, I'm going to be running the Bridging
the Gap lecture series next year, so if there's
any speaker you feel would be interesting
and whom you would like to see, don't hesi-
tate to give me suggestions; 1'd love to hear.
Finally, I have some hints and requests for
your worl<tenns. Our worktenn starts wen
before the end of the school year, so if you get
the chance, get in contact with a local school
and offer to talk to the students. Moot teach-
ers are ecstatic to let someone else do the
work for half an hour, and on your part, it
isn't much of a time sacrifice to make a signif-
icant difference in students' perspectives of
engineering. Also, if you have any 0pportu-
nity to improve the image of engineer.; in the
community (from writing articles for the
local paper to volunteering for a charity),
please don't hesitate in taking it It's amazing
the difference a few people can make.
Above all, good luck on exams and on
your worlderms. I'll be in beautiful Pinawa,
Manitoba. If you want to get in touch with
me over the summer, try e-mailing me at

Explorations '93: How many kids can you fit in a Dead Sled? PllDtD by Olris DdJrusk
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993
YOUTH AND
EMPLOYME T IN
TA ZA IA
Youth Building the Future call for participants in an
International Conference
Andrew Pape
Youth Building the Future
3B Systems Design
Y
outh in developing countries are
faced with increasing challenges to
meet their basic needs, often
because of incred.!bly high levels of unem-
ployment. In Tanzania, one factor may be
the extraordinary population growth rate
which is at 3.36% per year, causing the
population to double every 21 years, as
compared to 82 years in Canada, and 30-
40 years in many other developing coun-
tries. By the year 2(0), the Tanzanian pop-
ulation will be at 36.12 million, from 26
million in 1990.
The misconception among youth in
rural areas of Tanzania that urban-life has
more employment opportunities, has led
to a migration of people into the major
cities such as Dar Es Salaam, which does
not have the inbastructure to handle such
population growth.
There are many other issues for youth of
Tanzania, in addition to urban immigra-
tion and unemployment, including the
AIC6 epidemic, that will be addressed at
the 7th Annual YOUfH BUilDING 1HE
FlITURE International Conference, which
will be held in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania
this August
Two or three Canadians (or landed
immigrants) will be selected to attend this
conference through the Waterloo chapter
of Youth Building the Future (YBF). The
candidates will travel to Tanzania to
attend the one week conference, along
with youth from up to 50 other countries
around the world, to discuss and act on (if
appropriate), in a holistic and democratic
manner, the issues surrounding youth
worldwide today. The conference is set up
to ensure an equitable distribution of ideas.
It is intended to empower youth, so that
when they return to their individual coun-
tries, they will disseminate ideas and mes-
sages from the conference through their
own voluntary, educational, or working
activities.
The objective of YBF as an organization
is to provide a framework for an interna-
tional network of youth that meet annual-
ly at a conference, and who communicate
through newsletters, and other media.
The basis for tllis network is to facilitate
communication between youth so that
they can co-operate in trying to solve aiti-
cal issues of the day, in particular with
regards to social justice and environmental
issues. Previous conference themes have
been: the ethical use of science, dernocra-
cy, human and environmental rights, envi-
ronmental conservation, and peace. The
organization was set up 7 years ago at the
Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology
(Australia), and has held annual confer-
ences every year since then, including one
at U. of Waterloo in 1988, and others in
Argentina, Egypt, Norway, and Russia, all
of which had Canadian participmts.
YBF Waterloo has been meeting regular-
ly at the Campus Centre on every second
Monday, and has looked at the issues of
"Multiculturalism in Canada" and "The
Impacts of Foreign (Canadian) Aid on
Developing Countries", through infonnal
discussions. Fund raising is also an impor-
tant part of the organization, focusing on
bingos and grants from University depart-
ments, but hopefu1ly diversifying in the
near future.
The conference application procedure is
as follows:
1. Fill out application fonn (available at
the Turnkey Desk of the Campus Centre)
2. Attend selection meeting (or con-
tact us if you cannot make it) on Monday,
March 30 at 5:00 in the Campus Centre,
Room 135. Introduce yourself, and partici-
pate in the discussion of the topics to be
covered at the Tanzania conference. There
will be a vote by all members present at
the meeting.
3. Selection will be made by April 7
4. Fund Raise $500-$1(0) to go to confer-
ence, in addition to participating in the
group fund raising activities (bingos, Uni-
versity funding, etc). The past delegates
will help you with ideas for fund raising.
Familiarize yourself with the issue of
youth and unemployment
The selection aiteria is to find people
with a good communication ability, a
commitment to social-justice and environ-
mental issues, and a commitment to run
the YBF group next year by coordinating
activities, fund raising, selecting future
conference candidates, writing newspaper
articles and disseminating information on
YBF. In addition, we encourage applicants
to pursue other academic, work. or volun-
teer activities in Tanzania on the same trip
to help better justify the incredible fuel
consumption of flying over there for a con-
ference. We encourage everybody (non-
students as well) to apply and also to come
out to the meetings.
If you are interested, please contact me
through EMAIL: apape@zeus or
aepape@>ystem5
Another New Student Publication!
IWStaff
T
he staff here at the IW would like to
congratulate the Math Society for
the successful publication of their
new newsletter "The I-Earn More-a-Year"
and would like to welcome its staff to the
student publication community. When
presented with their premier edition, the
IW staff were pleasantly swprised with
the intelligence and professionalism of the
publication. We look forward to many
more years of reading the I-Earn More-A-
Year. Congratulations!
p.s. That's a damn good looking layout
you've got there.
AS
GREAT WHITE CHUGS
AND SPEWS
Dave Jarvis
2AChemical
"It's too b:Id the SCUNf had to re so /ale
this year."
"You should hare had it emiier."
"TIre SCUNf should l111re 00?n the la!f!k
after midterms. "
N
ice job flash, but that's exactly
what happened! I know tha t
there was a lot of confusion as to
when the SCUNf would be and what it
would entail, but then agai.n. these things
are notorious for mysteIy.
The week after we finished our
midterms, (MID-TERM ???) we went into
overdrive for the SCUNT, tying up loose
ends, photocopying lists, meeting Dean
Bums and Campus Security. Actually,
thing<> started to get underway at the bus
push. We decided to hand out a moderate-
ly difficult clue that would take about a
week to solve. As we all know, the bus
push was a great success, with lots of .fun
had by all. However, we're not so sure
that we can say the same thing about our
clue. Five days of frustration later, the only
ones to get the clue were the Mech Bulls.
Incidentally, the Bulls solved all of our
clues. This was impressive but annoying,
because by the end of the SCUNT, we
were wondering if it was at all possible to
stump them with any clue.
Moving right along, the week pro-
gressed without much incident to take
note of. For some reason, Ring Road was
temporarily rerouted to the first floor of
CPH and we heard more than our fair
share of that from every other person in
Engineering. On Wednesday, we had the
captain's meeting and discov red who
would and would not be SCUNTing.
Scuzzy and Sydestic decided to bail out
because of agsjgnments and the like. Those
who remained faithful were the Alco-
holics, the Mechanical Bulls, Road Crew,
Stressed andXav.
On the actual day of SCUNT, at ten to
five in the morning, we met contenders
from 4 of the 5 teams at TIm Horton's for
our first event: bean eating! Jimbo from
Stressed impressed us the most by eating
more than the rest of his team put together
and for single-handedly ensuring that his
team had the fastest time. From here they
were to embark on a six hour trip to our
fair nation's capital and quite frankly, we
don't know if any of the teams made it
without rolling down the windows. Oh
well. One of the more interesting stories
arose here when we discovered that the
Alcoholics were so eager to get to Ottawa
that they were already there. Unfortunate-
ly for them, they lost a very important
potentia11500 points in trivia on the way
up.
The Northern Exposure trip left at ten,
and when they got there, they found that it
was aptly named. It was Cold! Several
northern adventures took place, including
three-legged snowshoe racing, snow-fort
building and sitting around the fire trying
tokeepwann
At high noon, with the showdown
about to get underway, the majestic
Cannina Burana echoed through POETS
and CHUG's Great White Shark made its
appearance. The 8-foot beast graced the
CHUG cJass banner by resting above it in
POETS as Bob and Doug non-chalantly
interrupted the majestic music with the
more relevant, "coo roo coo coo, coo coo
coo coo!" Fast Eddie evaluated pencil
tricks on the balcony as teams prepared for
one of the most difficult non-lethal obstacle
courses mankind has encountered. If we
learned anything here, it's that there's
more than one way to build a wheelbar-
row. After a Ring Road Classic, teams
we oCf to U\cir lists, McGinnis' Landing
and a a,ugathalon.
At M innis' , patrons w ' ntcrt.ain !d
with five of the b st Cll rs skits th y
could have a.c;ked for, including one previ-
ously unreleased episode in which Sam
and Relx.>cca make out behind the bar.
As for the Chugathalon, this was an
-86
Wntch For Our Coupon.
In Every Issue of
The Iron "Varrior
r-------,--------
I I
I I
I & Salaos i Sandwicho: s & Salads I
I .49..: SUB 1 SUB I
I Buv ,1Il V 0" . ubm:mnt: snmi I Buy any foollong subm:mne I
I
:It;" a mcthum soc.Ja and I sanc.Jwlch and a mt:dium soda I
ree!!lVt: second 6" subma I ami receive the second fOOl
I (of .:qual or lesser value) I long submarine (of equal or I
I for I lesser value) for 99. ..
I Lunl\ed coupon per pun:h.1.se. :-101 LimI,ed one coupon per p= :-10'.
I with OII1y other offer. No, valid valid wilh :illY o,her offer. Not valid I
I
on supers E I on supers E I
orrer npires: \ol3y 31193 I Offer expires: May 31/93
(lffer .,Ii,t J I 160 Onoveolty Ave. Offer valid :u 160 Uruversity Ave. I
W,lIc;rlon W:ucrloo

160 University Plaza: 884-7821
A6
Co-Op State of The Nation
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
Continuous Placement
Ralph Hoflich
IW Staff
I
t seems the tough economical times
and increasing competitiveness of
other co-op institutions have forced
Co-op to do something about the current
placement system. Continuous placement
is the product of their toils. Based on a sy!r
tem currently used in 2nd rounds at
Waterloo and systems already in place at
the University of Alberta and Fanshawe
college, continuous placement hopes to
improve the deteriorating number of
placed jobs through the co-op system.
Continuous placement could be in place
by September 1993.
During past years, co-op has savoured
an 85% placement in first rounds. TItis
placement, however has dropped to a
meagre 43% in this term. Co-op realizes
that the system should be improved and
the goal of continuous placement intends
to draw employers and place students
faster.
Continuous placement is a departure
from the current system being used. This
system allows employers to come to cam-
pus any time they wish. Co-op will post
interviewer dates in Needles .Hall, Engi-
neering Lecture hall and elsewhere around
campus. Co-op is trying to poot interview-
er dates in every major faculty. An online
network for student schedules and job
descriptions on Watstar is currently being
developed. Among the items to be dis-
played on Watstar and on co-op boards
are employer visit dates, job descriptions
and interview times.
At the beginning of the term, students
will be given a job application package
with their current transcript and co-op
placement statistics by co-op. These are put
together by the student, along with a
resume and possibly a cover-letter to form
a resume package. Each job description
will have a box number identified with it
To apply for a job, submit a resume pack-
age to the correct box number. These
resumes will be gathered by co-op and
sent to the employer. The employer will
send back a list of students to be inter-
viewed and dates and times of when they
will be on campus. These will be pooted on
the co-op boards and online. Once the
employer's interviews are completed, the
employer will be encowage to submit to
co-op, the same day, a list of students and
their rank. Again, co-op will post these
results on the co-op boards and online. The
student will have to go to Needles Hall to
give an offer of acceptance or denial. The
amount of time the student has to decide
on the job has not been specified by co-op
at this time. If the job is refused, the offer is
made to the student next on the list, and
the previous student goes back inte the
placement process. However, like most
systems there are pros and cons involved.
University-Wide Co-Op
Placement Statistics
Students Advising Co-op
This tmS a letter giml out at the recent Eng-
Soc meeting on implications of continuous
placement.
C
o-op and Career Services continu-
ous placement implications.
1. The probability of many students placed
earlier in the term.
2 More control by students over what job
they obtain and elimination of the percep-
tion that the computer match-up is incor-
rect or inefficient
3. Students can enter or exit the process at
any time (e.g. when return job cancelled or
reinstated).
4. Elimination of intense, congested, inter-
viewing period affecting students, employ-
ers and staff adversely.
5. Students can continue in the interview
process and conduct their own job search
simultaneously.
6. Faster turnaround of interview results,
resulting in atbacting more employers. We
know tm; will happen.
7. Opportunity for students to custom
make job application packages, e.g. cover-
ing letters, resumes, letters of reference tai-
lored to spErific employers.
8. Rexibility for employers to recruit at their
amvmieoce. We expect large employers to
recruit more than <>ll:re during the term.
9. Earlier identification of individual stu-
dents who have difficulties obtaining inter-
views; these students can then receive
appropriate counselling by co-op staff and
be fed into interviews where space permits.
10. More effective job development by
coordinators.
11. Students can adjust job hunting strate-
gies earlier by observing job description
trends and noting employer feedback.
12 Allows coordinators to act in support
capacity and encourage a II good fit" for
student and employer when appropriate,
better than current system.
13. More efficient use of resources in the
University.
14. A more competitive co-op placement
system - shorter turnaround for place-
ments, more interviews for students over-
all.
15. Reduced incidence of unfilled jobs,
many of which have subsequently
remained unfilled or were filled by other
schools under the existing system.
16. No long waiting periods to get results of
computer makh-up.
17. No long waiting periods to get into 2nd
rounds if pa;ting deadline "missed". .
18. On-line aa:ess to job descriptions by stu-
dents - a mandatory comp:ment of the
teD\.
Pros
This system is intended to compete with
other co-op systems whdve had the edge
on our system. It allows more flexibility for
employers to visit and process their stu-
dent applications. More and more employ-
ers were seeking co-op students at other
universities that catered more towards the
employer. This system allows employers
to visit campus when they want to. There
would be no need to wait until the inter-
view weeks to select students. It is hoped
that this will increase the number of
employers that choose to hire students
from Waterloo.
The student can ensure that their resume
and transcript are in order before the
employer sees it In the current system, the
student relied on Co-op to correctly handle
their resume package. Since the student
will organize their resume package, the
student has control over what the employ-
er sees and doesn't see.
The continuous placement system will
also allow students tailor their resumes to
the employer and job they are applying to.
The student can submit a cover-letter spe-
cific to the job being applied to if they wish.
It is possible that the student tan acquire
a job earlier in the term, rather that wait
until all the job ran kings have been
processed..
There has always been an effort to place
job descriptions and interview dates on
Watstar and one of the mandates of contin-
uous placement is to see this in place. This
will convenience students and make the
trip to Needles Hall or any of the other ro-
op boards easier.
Cons
Probably the biggest worry from the stu-
dents is that they will not be able to com-
pare jobs they have applied to, since job
offers may not come at the same time. This
gives the students less choice than the sys.-
tem already in place. More emphasis is
placed on the student to choose the right
job.
Many students feel that the option of
having a cover-letter and rustom resumes
implies that they should have one for
every job application This will have to be a
decision made by the student
There will no doubt be more congestion
in Needles Hall and on the already over-
burdened Watstar system.
More work will be needed to help first
year students adjust to the new system.
Since employers can be arriving at any
time, first year students must be told about
the co-op placement procedure quickly. A
stronger emphasis on the co-op (XX) semi-
nars held for all first year students will be
needed and an added workforce in
resume workshops, which are already
overcrowded.
r------------------------------
As of: 12 Mar 1993
Placed Student Summary
Level
Faculty 1A IB 2A2B 3A 36 4A 4B Other Total
Accounting 13 15 2B
AHS 32 1 5 40 1 2 2 83
Applied studies 47 13 1 2 2 65
Arts 6 10 4 5 11 36
Engineering 1 91 104 110 101 18 ill
EnvStudies 13 20 2 16 2 53
Mathematics 2 71 44 2 58 3S 8 6 232
Science 30 6 2 21 24 2 1 86
Teaching 1 1 2
UnElaced Student Summary
Level
Faculty lA 1B 2A 2B 3A 3B 4A 4B Other Total
Accounting 37 2 26 1 66
AHS 1 79 3 2 26 3 3 117
Applied studies 3 61 10 74
Arts 1 7 15 3 3 1 4 34-
Engineering 1 247 164 3 113 83 2 25 638
EnvStudies 1 8 9 1 12 1 32
Mathematics 4 137 40 10 48 24 7 3 273
Science 3 71 19 4 22 21 2 2 2 146
Teaching 4 4
First rounds lacernent 422% Placed to date: 59.3%
L ______________________________
Quotable Quotes from Co-op
IW Staff
"They (insert name here) are responsible
'We're looking in to it .. " for that .. "
"That is a valid concem..." "The conunittee is looking into itM"
"That has yet to be decided-." "This will make thinr;; better for the stu-
"That is an implementation issue..."
'We are fully aware of that concem.M" Feel free to cut and save these quotes. It
'We will make things Emier foryou.M" might give you something to shove back
''Please direct your concerns to the in co-op's faces when they screw you up
SAC-If
next term.
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
Co-Op State of The Nation A7
Questions and Answers
Ralph Hoflich
IW Staff
A
iter being screwed around by ro-
op and hearing enough stories to
fill an encyclopedia, I'm glad to
see that changes are being made with ro-
op. Whether the proposed continuous
placement is a change for the better, I'm
not sure. I think we'll have to wait it out
and see.
First round placements have been going
downhill for the last few years. Five to ten
years ago, first rounds placement was
around 85%. 1his tenn it's at 42%. Second
rounds was originally designed to clean
up the few students that hadn't found jobs
yet. Now that there's more people finding
jobs through second rounds than first,
something has to be done.
The biggest problem with the system' is
that nobody's really sure that it's going to
work They've had it going at the Universi-
ty of Alberta for the past few years, but
nobody can really tell if it's going to take
off here in Ontario.
I like the fact that we control what goes
into our resume package. There's no co-op
controlling what employers see. If we put
a cover-letter on, the employer is sure to
see it. We can tailor our resumes for the
employer. For those jobs in Germany, I
want to write my resume in German.
Some students feel that this is extra work,
well it is. Maybe. The jobs I really want
though, I'll be sure to put a cover-letter on
It's something that we're going to have to
learn regardless. All graduating students
do this and it'll be good to learn this before
we're forced to.
I also think that the majority of employ-
ers are going to be here very quickly to
grab the pick of students. With the current
system, job descriptions are in before the
2nd week of classes so that they make
New positions available...
print in the Want Ads anyways. Either
way, students are going to get jobs. This
way, I might know if I have a job before the
9th week of the tenn.
I don't think students will be compro-
mising themselves by taking a job they
don't want. The biggest fear of students is
that they've lost the choice to see the poosi-
ble jobs they can rank all at once. 1his is
true, but I know that when I see a good job,
I go for it. First year students are going to
have to live by this.
I've been waiting for an online interview
list and job description for a long time The
first thing that came into mind when I
became familiar with Watstar, was why
they don't incorporate the co-op placement
procedure with the Watstar system. I was
told that it was too hard to implement and
that it wouldn't be worth it. I'm glad to see
someone putting some initiative into it.
I like the system with applying for jobs
in boxes. People feared that this would be
incredibly busy and that some unscrupu-
lous students might just re-anange the box
numbers, or remove resumes. As it turns
out, co-op is spending a lot of money on
these boxes. $12.(00 in fact. They're going
to be steel boxes, I imagine somewhat like
the boxes we hand assignments in. I'm
doing this right now for second rounds
and it works perfectly.
People have also been asking if this is
going to cause an increase in co-op fees.
I've been told that it shouldn't, but I
haven't talked to the president of the uni-
versity. Co-op doesn't receive the money
we spend on oo-op fees directly. It's given
to the university and the university
decides how much they're going to give
co-op. The impression right now is that ro-
op fees won't be increasing.
1his is definitely going to make Needles
Hall even more a satanic place to be. With
l'llOIol"J Adrinl EtrlllS
students visiting to see job descriptions,
interviews and other co-op matters it's
going to be very congested Hopefully, ro-
op will have the descriptions and inter-
view lists spread out around the campus
enough that there won't be too vast a
grouping of students at any particular
place and time
The proposed system isn't written in
stone, by any means. There's a meeting
with C()o{)p on March 27th, where all the
details of continuous placement will be
created. FIrst rounds developed from what
it started as; as will continuous placement.
I can imagine a whole variety of things in
the future. There's been talk of a mini first
rounds type system that has employers
come in the first few weeks of classes and
omitting the Want Ads newspaper, which
is generally the biggest hold up anyways.
From there, continuous placement will
kick into place for the employers that were
slow in deciding that they want to hire a
student It's been suggested that each stu-
dents' resume package have a bar code
with the student's id number on it, which
can be scanned with a hand bar code read-
er and placed in a database. 1his way, ro-
op will have a record on computer of
placement rates and keep back of student
applications.
I've been to a lot co-op meetings in the
past few weeks, and I can truly say that
these people want to help. They're all open
people, willing to take the students' opin-
ions. Mac McMartin has been a great help
informing me on the continuous place-
ment scheme, as well as Randy .I<Jawitter
and Janet Metz and the rest of the co-op
group. These people are always open to
listen to students' concerns, SO don't h '-
tate to talk to them. Engineering tuden
can also deal with C()o{)p through th ir Stu-
dents Advising Co-op reps.

..
Engineering
Placement
for May ..
Scheduled
r:>.ropare ToWak
CHEMICAL
18 52
2A 44
3A 51
38 31
178
41.0% Total Placement
OVIL
1B 56
2A 79
3A 74
38 50
259
45.9% Total Placem.ent
COMPUTER
18 76
3A 65
141
62..4% Total Placement
ELECfRICAL
18 72
2A 83
3A 52
38 56
263
60.1% Total Placement
GEOLOGICAL
18 19
3A Q
25
2B.O% Toial Pfacenent
MECHANI L
16
f)l
2A 77
3A 81
3B Zl
316
53.2% Total Placement
SYSTEMS DESIGN
2A 85
38 74
159
77.4% Total Placement
TOTAL 1341
PIind
t.1nfhB1
16 36
19 25
23 2B
15 16
73 105
13 43
31 48
44 30
31 19
119 140
33 43
55 10
88 53
27 45
50 33
34 18
47
.2
158 105
2 17
2. 1
7 18
24 63
41 36
55 26
18 2.2
168 148
63 22
00 14
123 36
736 605
August 1993
54.9% Overall Placement to Date
As Of March 19, 1993
T#' STUDENT WORK sr."""" .. ,
AVAILABLE NOW $11.00
3000 OPENINGS THROUGHOUT ONTAR 10
<LfXIBLE HOURS COOPSISCHOLARSHIPS/AWARDS
ALL MAJORS MAY APPlY BUILD COIAIAUNICATION SKilLS
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY NO DOORTODeOR OR TElEMARKETING
VALUABLE RESUIAE EXPERIENCE "'AUAGEMENT OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE
fULL & PART rIME POSITIONS AVAILABLE PAY INCREASES WITH INceNTIVES
SECURE SUMIAER POSITIONS NOW ALL SERIOUS APPliCANTS WILL 9 CONSIDERED
WATERLOO REGION (519) 5717890
GUELPH (519) 8319211 OTTAWA (1113) 73909634
LONDON (510) 668C072 MISSISSAUGA 89&-0216
YORK (416) ST. CATHARINES (4111) 687 3414
BRANTFORD (519) 1522700 HAWILTON 5732441
VANCOUVER (eo4) 3225021 BURNA8'I' (eo4) 5221273
IF LINES ARE BUSY. PlEASE TRY AGAIN.
I
I
,
I
A8
Indonesian Adventure
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
FromAl
is one of the moot densely populated regions
in the world. The island is the eoonomic and
political centre of Indonesia; the rountry's
richest and ma;t influential people inhabit
this city together with their poorest rompa-
triots. In 1945, 900 (XX) people lived in Jakar-
ta Since that time an influx of people who
come from the countryside in search of
work have swelled the city's popu1ation to
65 million. The race the city has to nm to
keep pace with its expkxiing population is
immediately evident in its appearance.
Jakarta is a horror-house of sights, sounds
and smeIIs: a maze of streets and open sew-
ers, tumbled down neighbowhoods adpin-
ing g\a$ skyscrapers, all flooded with pe0-
ple. A trip through Jakarta is as disorienting
Their most prominent feature
is their testicles, which
protrude in so pronounced a
fashion as to compete with
their tail for aHention.
as a feverish dream Even the local taxi. dri-
vers become hopelessly la;t; I have yet to
travel in any vehicle that has set out for
some Jakarta destination and not found
itself wandering through a strange and
entirely different section of the city.
The city looks alien. The cars and trucks
are redolent of cardboard boxes on stilts and
sound like they are powered by popcorn
poppers gone berserk Baja]; (three wheeled
auto rickshaws), cars, bucks, buses, cats,
children, bicycles, mopeds, push-carts and
vendors fill the winqing labyrinth Of streets.
With my friend's mom at the wheel. of a tiny
mini van. we raced through it aD; ram l10t
imagine that a rol1er-coaster rouJd be
thrilling and suspect it would be less
gerous. Traffic is fran,tic! The
lanes InilIi<ed 00 the
ing on the actual
(the city engineers mistakenly made the
lanes wider than a (2I') or where the traffic
goes (although it drives on the left in gena'-
al). Heavy traffic ls the norm and st:andstills
are frequent. When the traffic halts, men
and boys walk among the cars and sell
newspapers, bottled water and peanuts.
The climate is, of COW'Se, rompletely dif-
ferent from that of Canada We left Toronto
in a snowstorm with temperatures around -
5C. Jakarta never dipped be10w n: for the
duration of our stay and often reached the
mid-3O's. More debilitating than the heat
was the extreme humidity. Breathing in
Jakarta air is like inhaling the steam from a
kettle of boiling mud The afternoons invari-
ably culminated in a torrential thunder-
storm, which turned the city;S streets to
murky canals. In downtown Jakarta I found
myself ankle-deep in the water and floating
garbage of a street-tumed-sewer and this
rainfall was the rule, not the exception.
The tropical flora is fitting of a locale just
south of the equator. Coconut and banana
palms, rambutan trees and lush underbrush
flourish. More unusual is the faum. Flying
cockroacnes, the size (and mass) of a loonie
and enatically moving Cecal< lizards make
no distinction between the interior and exte-
rior of a building. Lumbering through the
air or darting across a ceiling. both are ubiq-
uitous. Even the house cats, an animal one
would expect to look familiar, seem strange.
Tmyand emaciated, they sport a fluoresa:>nt
streak of paint on their fur to mark their
ownership. With tails painfully crooked,
their whole body is no larger than my fist.
Their mOO: prominent feature, for some at
least, is their tEsticles, which protrude in so
pronounced a fashion as to rompete with
their tail for attention. I have no idea. why
Jakartan cats look this way; mts in the rest of
Indonesia closely resemble Canadian mts.
It was interesting to be for the first time in
my life what a Canadian calls a visible
minority. Even in Jakarta there are not
many white people and this afforded my
friends and myself instant celebrity status. A
representative experience was the manner in
which my friend Jonathan and I were treat-
ed in a theme park near Jakarta A man
with his wife and chi1d rode by on a moped
(yes, three people on one moped) and spot-
ted us. The moped turned around and
came back to us. Producing a snapshot
camera, he ushered us into close quarters
with himself and his family and we had our
picture taken. Then he thanked us, got back
on his moped and rode off with his fanl!ly.
a don't use gender swmc
"his" lightly; it was qtijte a.ear in . case,
and ahfu;f: everYwJlere in Ind . Which
sex ismhsidered dominant.) .
bOth and fdrit
ys the rerhnanfs of rolof\iaHsDl:evi'dertt-
in donesian society. The tch fuled
Indanesiafur up to its dec-
laratiOILQf independence on August 17,
1945. During this time, Indonesians were
both brutally exploited and taught to respect
Westerners more than they respect them-
selves. The Dutch were too villainous in
their treatment of Indonesia to remain high-
Even il Jakata there ae not
rTlCIly wille people end this
aforded my friends and myseI
r.sta d celebrity sIaIus.
1y esteemed, but now the US and American
people are venerated. Canadians are mis-
taken for Americans. Canada is a fortunate
rountry but I do not think it is worthy of
veneration by Indonesians. I certainly felt
unromfortable with the intense scrutiny and
admiration my birthplace alone brought me.
Extreme poverty is a reality for many of
Jakarta's citizens. At one point in a traffic
jam, our mini van (stuffed with eleven pe0-
ple, about five of us white) stopped beside a
man with an advanced rondition of lepra;y.
He sat on the curb, while cars, people, bicy-
cles and mts milled arotmd him. All his fin-
gers were missing and his feet were stumps
wrapped in bloodied rags. He was begging.
/
Westmount Place Pharmacy
50 Westmount Rd. N.,Waterloo, ONT
OPEN DAILY
Sundays & Holidays
gam - 10pm
11am- 9pm
WE ACCEPT U of W STUDENT HEALTH PLAN
Sapto, my counterpart, suggested that the
blood was not "real" (altOOugh he rould not
deny the absence of digits on his hands),
meaning that his rondition was exaggerated
so as to elidt more generous sympathy. I
think Sapto, who is typically Indonesian in
his patriotism. was trying to deter the Cana-
dians from forming an unfavourable first
impression of his rountry. When the man
saw such a rongregation of white people in
a single van. he beaune very animated and
gestured that we should give him money.
Our van moved on before anyone rou1d do
this had their intention been to do so. My
thoughts were muddled by the barrage of
new stimuli. including this one.
JaJ.<arta, like all of Indonesia. is far too com-
If utter poverty atd chaos fllds a
hane il..Ja<a1a, so do i1modest
wecth ald nea-perfect
Slbnission to a milay
goverrment.
the flower, probing it daintily now and
again. without ever actually landing on it
Bob is, by Sapto's admission, unusually
direct. I oh;ezved that he is also extremely
affluent As a man of twenty-five, he has
been given a car, two very beautiful houses
with servants by his father. It is these two
characteINics, his wealth and forthrightness
that distinguish Bob from the vast maprity
of Indonesian people.
Bob is partirularly exreptional for his sin-
gular practire of discussing confrontational
issues. He took Sapto and I to a crowded.
high<1ass restaurant -for lunch; I ate while
theX chatted in BahaSa Indonesia. e
withSapib and asklrl:me, in
English, ''[)O you knoW what we are
about?"
I respCn:ied in the and he pr0-
ceeded.
"Our president, Suharto - it's time for
changer SUharto is assimiIar to Orwell's
Big Brother as am be imagined by a Canadi-
an. His portrait is everywhere and few
houses do not have his visage hanging upon
it Bob's assertion, remarl<able in light of the
patriotism and submission instilled in the
Indonesian population by its military gov-
enunent. is truly incredible when one c0n-
siders that Bob's father is a member of
Suharto's albinet..
Bob wants political change in Indonesia;
change foct.N;ing on better representation of
and more opportunities for Indonesian
youth. There is a perception, among
Indonesian youth at least that there are two
generatioos in Indonesia; the old, who sup-
port the status quo, and the young, who
desire change. Bob stated that the govern-
ment daims that there is no unemployment
in Indonesia, but in fact there is high unem-
ployment among young people. He also
attacked the strict censoniliip in Indonesia.
AIl press in Indonesia is carefully moni-
tored and all press practices "se1f-<.'eIlSOr-
ship," a euphemism for syrophantic promo-
tion of government policy. If information
available in Canada is to be trusted.
sians are grossly misinformed. For example,
the 1966 roup d'etat that brought Suharto to
power and the continuing suppression of
some citizens of East Timor is not fully
understood. Many East Tunorese resent
and oppa;e the Indonesian rule and wish to
return to the independence they briefly
enpyed prior to Indonesia's 1m invasion
and annexation of the region In the a:tSes of
the roup and the situation in East Tnnor, the
Indonesian people have been led to believe
that their government acted valiantly to
stem rommunist attacks upon Indonesia
Indonesian rounterparts on the exchange
are unaware that up 100,00; East Timorese
have been killed and also disbelieve British
video footage of a military massacre of a
peaceful civilian demonstrntion in Novem-
ber 1991. It is extraordinary that Bob should
criticize his govenunent on the issues of free-
dom and freedom of speech.
Despite his aepartures from common
Indonesian \bought, even Bob soon belied
his lildOnesian background. He asked me,
after lunch, "What do you think of living
I ronfused and asked him if
he for me to desaibe what I thought
of being SapID's rounterpart. I was astound-
ed by his reply: "No,about men and
women living together before marriage." I
was rompletely fluster by this. This practice
is viewed so differently in Indonesian and
Canadian rultures that I had yet to broach it
a single time in my four months of living
with Sapto. Eventually I replied that it was a
rommon practice in Canada and that it was,
in certain a:tSes, propitious since it allowed
people to assess their rompatibility before
oommitment; this was not a romplete1y clis-
honest answer, though it was far from my
true feelings. Bob's opinion was given non-
judgmentally. In Indonesia, he related. it is
not a good thing. Religion forbids it, he
pointed out and it is unfair to the woman, he
reasoned. "In Eastern cultures," he
explained, "a woman being a virgin is
everything. If I live with my girlfriend and
then do not many her, she willnot be able to
find a husband" Later Bob told me, with
that his fiancee works at a bank.
a prestigious job fOra He
adaed that ShewouId Jlot. of COUISe,
have a theywere married.
The fl@t Jakarta to Palanka Raya
took but an hour. It was immediately 0bvi-
ous that we were in a much less populous
and more provincial setting. No one seems
to know what the population of Palanka
Raya is, but it appears that HX),(XX) people
and a lot of dtickens wou1d be a good first
estimate.
I spent two days in Palanka Raya billeted
with a fairly well-off family. The family
would have been more romfortable if it had
been slightly smaller; the children, many
adopted, numbered thirty. It appears that
some of this propensity to adopt orphans
was spurred by close affiliations with a
Ouistian church. In fact, it was only my
poor understanding of Bahasa Indonesia
that prevented me from concluding with
certainty that our house UXlS a Christian
church. At night, our living room was
flooded by the church choir who practiced
there; family prayer, an hour long, com-
menced each morning at 4:00 am. I was
inducted into both these groups in a state
Cmtinuedcnnedptge
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
Continued from previous page.
that was, if not reluctant. then at J.eac;t s0m-
nolent I am still puzzled by the existence of
such an assiduous and flOlrrishing Ouistian
assemblage in an otherwise Hindu neigh-
boorhood.
My hast family was typically Indonesian
in its excessive hospitality. There was an
endle:.-; supply of snadG, drinks and meals
to be placed in front of me; never before or
since have I felt so empathetic towanls Mr
Creosote from Monty Pythons' Meaning of
Ufe. But unlike that ill-starred figure, I did
manage to stuff down just one more morsel,
and another, and another, ad infinitum,
though fortunately not ad nauseam. It was
during this stay that I was introduced to the
distinctly Indonesian culi.ruuy pitfall of the
double dinner. Immediately after eating a
meal at one location, your are invited else-
where and must polish off a second com-
plete meal. I once counted six meals before
the clock reached one o'clock in the after-
noon.
It was in Palanka Raya that I fullyappreci-
ated the degree to which manual labour is
utilized in Indonesia for tasks that were long
ago mechanized in Canada On our ride
from the airport we observed a mapr road
being built by hand In the thirty degree
heat men were doing excavations with
shovels that only a backhoe would tackle in
Canada. They were also moving all the
needed gravel and other materials with min-
imal tools. The scene was reminiscent of a
Mad Mngazine comic I once saw that was
entitled "Father and son construction day at
the Panama CanaL" The prevalence oman-
uallabour is understandable Capital anCl
machinery are sc.art:e, but people and their
time are plentifuL The perseverance and
ingenuity displayed by many Indonesians
in their effort to eke out an existence is
astounding. In Jakarta, one can rent an
umbrelJa for bavelling between stores when
there is rain. About 2D cents pays for one to
use the umbrella while its owner, stripped
down to his shorts dashes from awning to
awning in pursuit of his umbrella, all the
time being pelted by rain. Becaks, bicycle
propelled push-taxis, are everywhere and
the people who peddle them are (by Cana-
dian standards at least) poorly reImmerated
for their hard work Once, when returning
from a market in downtown Palanka Raya,
myself, Sapto and some children from my
billeting family took two becaks. In the
muggy heat we rode for over ten minutes
with three passengers per becak; for this we
paid the equivalent of only 75 cents.
It was interesting becak ride. I rode with
Theo, my fourteen year old host brother on
my left, and my tiny host brother, maybe six
years old, on my lap. Theo and I talked
about the differences between Canada and
Indonesia to the best as my poor language
skills allowed. Dim lights flickered in the
street, and evening breeze was created by
the movement of the cart and occasionally
the driver rang a bell to warn nearby pedes-
trians. Canada was exotic to Theo as
Indonesia was to me. I told him that in
Canada the baffic drives on the right side
and not the left of the road and that we have
four seasons, not just a dry and rainy se;;on.
But how could I tell Thea about real differ-
ences, differences that govern our view
towanis our life? I did not tell him about
aetheism; different attitudes
towards premarital sex, marriage, and patri-
otism; attitudes aitical of government; views
that would deem Indonesia a paternalistic
society. In each of these respects Canada
and Indonesia are on different sides of the
globe, but I didn't tell Theo this. Anyone of
Indonesian Adventure
these would shock Theo's sensibilities.
There is a canyon between us and I must
ignore it if I do not wish to fall into it
I spent the 1ast hour or two of my stay in
anah;urdexplorationofPalankaRaya.b:y-
ing to purchac;e pcstcards. A friend of my
hast family who was sufficiently afflueru to
own a car drove us around the city. Hang-
ing from the cars rearview mirror was a
stuffed. animal of dubious fleshed inspira-
tion; perl1ap; this trinket was supposed to be
a duck. but I would not be surprised to find
that it was meant to be likeness of a row, or
perhap; a fish. The toy ducked and bobbed
with the movement of the car and if this
became particularly violent the dangling
rontrivance waxbled and ducked cheerfully;
an ab;urd marvel of technology.
Postcards proved to be an
elusive quarry and the
nature of the absurdity of our
quest was heightened by the
junk we could find; plastic
Bart Simpson dolls for
instance, were ubiquitous.
Postauds proved to be an elusive quany
and the nature of the absurdity of our quest
was heightened by the junk we could find;
plastic Bart Simpson dolls for iJNance, were
ubiquitous. I thought it a sad reflection of
the influence of Western society that a bashy
toy from a cartoon these people could not
possibly follow was omnipresent while
promoting. their 0 'province
counhy were rot-exist t This f
have been a blessing in disguise because it
indkateS the number of touriSts entering
the area is sJooort a tourist
industIy. "
two days in Palanka Raya, we
d from the harbour on a riverboat
bijljlitl:{or Muara'ieweh. The boat itself
an the trip it took us on were a different
reality altogether. Up until this point in time,
no of our bavel had gripped the pit of
my stomach with the presentiment that an
unendurable trial was about to transpire.
Within five minutes of being aboard the
ship this feeling struck me. Primitive in c0n-
struction, similar to a slave galley in spa-
ciousness and comfort of quarters and
unbearably hot, the ship did little to help me
appease my feats. The trip would be a fun
experience, I told myself and would last
only three days.
My fears were amplified by my first
viewing of the upper deck. where the twen-
ty five males on board were to sleep. The air
in the l50an high crawlspace was baking
under the ship's tin roof because ventilation
through the small portholes was inadequate.
All the upper deck had to recommend it
was that it was slightly less noisy and con-
siderably less saturated with diesel fumes
than the lower deck. The upper deck. how-
ever, was a virtual paradise when compared
with the ship's toilets, two cubicles about
one square meter in size. These resembled
gas chambers with their stifling temperature
and exhaust from the engine just astern. It
was speculated that these rooms served a
secondary purpa;e of being the muffler for
the shop's diesel engine A hole through
which waste rou1d was cut in the floor
boards; through it the brown churning
walen; of the Barito River, inflamed by the
ship's propellers rould be seen.
Despite my initial despair about the
impending trip, I had a wonderfully mem0-
rable time. It was a roller coaster of emotions
and reflections with the adventures of the
mind and spirit delineated by the confines of
the boat. the fea.md m:motony of the p<!$-
ing rainforest.. the sardine-tin atma;phere of
the acmmmodations, the heat and rain cycle
and the actions and attitudes of one's c0m-
panions. A time for reading, talking,
thought, and sleep, the seasons of one's
character pa.$ed by as if in hN-fOIward; one
moment the anxiety of winters onslaught -
'Will I weather this trip?" - the next the
wonderment of spring - a deep blue sky
raked by tormented douds - then the lazi-
:rle$ of summer - early sleep in the evening -
and finally the melancholy quietude of
autumn - a starlit. cool p.uney down a jun-
gle canal. Then, all these repeated, even
faster and more jumbled, the second and
thiIdday.
During the trip I further thought about
the differenres between the attitudes preva-
lent in Canada and those in Indonesia. I
found it interesting to compare which
aspects of life are rigidly followed or
believed and which aspects of life are refer-
enced to a shifting set of beliefs that are
adapted to spOOfic circumstances. I person-
ally denote the fonner as "absolutes'''' and
the later as "relativisms." In Western society
our absolutes exist within the activity of
everyday life, though we are largely rela-
tivists at a broader level. The opposite is true
in Indonesia. There are many Canadians
are agnostic or QlSWil ob>ervers of some reli-
gious beliefs; they have mixed loy-
alties in government, politics'and philooo-
phy. But aSI< them Whether they wish to
have chopped u,ver for (linner and a
In
govemed.
by hEiliem regarded as abOOlute to the extent
tHat tiiw are spedfiJ under the law. The
PancasiJa, like a preamble to a constitution"
states tJ:Iat there are five acreptable religions
and everyone must belong to one of these.
There are no legal Jewish Indonesians. The
religions that are legal are followed with a
fervour that would be zea10us fundamental-
ism if Indonesians were proselytisers. Com-
munism is evil. the government is good;
there is no room for real dissent Ask s0me-
one if they want to eat and one must deci-
pher "already", "not yet", or "thank-you."
The latter means both yes and no depend-
In Indonesia, religion and
politics are governed by
beliefs regarded as absolute
to the extent that they are
specified under the law.
ing on the context Things happen in the
background; how, when and why things
happen are hidden in a relativistic fog. To a
Westerner, it seems upside-down. even non-
sensical, but one must question whether
Indonesia would exist so harmoniously if it
was more like Canada
After travelling em km through the rain-
forest, we anived in Muara Teweh. We had
seen monkeys, log barges, enormous birds
of prey, villages with the domes of mosques
towering over them. solilaIy floating huts,
speedboats and suspicious looking Oaynk
natives in dugout amoes; now we saw the
dirty harbour of Muam Tewell. A mess of
Iantings, or floating wood houses am shop;
with the town rising on the the hill behird it.
the harbour was made we1roming by n0th-
ing but the smiling strangers who awaited
us there
When we arrived we were promptly
whisked off to the house of the Bupati or
head of the district. It was here that I had to
that due to the cultural perspective
A9
and expectations of the Canadians, the ron-
tinued and genuine efforts of our hosts to
welcome us often had comedic results. We
were of course, served lunch at the Bupati's
after which a stereo and television at the
head of the hall came to life; a karaoke oper-
ation. Soon, one of the Indonesian partici-
pants Sri. was up at the front, belfing out a
super sappy Indonesian ballad and looking
vaguely reminiscent of Whitney Houston.
Treading hard on the heels of three days of a
primitive, hot, and intestinally diffirult jour-
ney through some of the most dense and
remote jungles of the world. the delight with
which this frivolity was executed seemed
ludicrous. It would have seemed more nat-
ural to arrive at a Jay's game in the Skydome
after paddling a week in a bin::h back canoe
wearing nothing but a loindoth.
In Muaxa Teweh we were billeted with a
host family and again my family's ha;pilali-
ty was boundless. Bapak (or ''Mr.'') Sandi-
vara is a fairly affluent civil servant who has
a Sony television in his living room. I
enpyed talking with him in Bahasa Indone-
sia (as best I could), but his insatiable desire
to teach me the local Oaynk (indigenous)
language quickly became frustrating. When
one is just learning a language, the last thing
one wants is someone asking questions in
another, even more mysterious language
This is especially true if the languages are
similar sounding such that one can only
wonder why one does not comprehend a
Single woni I later found people in the vil-
lage to be similarly bent upon promoting
their local language
Jt seemed that the doser we came to our
village the harder people laboured to dis-
tance themselves from the people of
Marunei Saw. as if the later group were an
embarrassment. In Canada, my friends
expressed interest in the area. In Jakarta.
people had little to say about such a place
and seemed to think of it as a boring back-
water. But my host mother in Pa1anka Raya
was fur neutral "Be atrefuL" she told
me, "there's crocodilcs, ghosts and very
powerful black magic" She wasn't pking,
she truly believed that th . were dangers,
long since vanquishLlCI from Palanka
that existed in the village. Pal< Sandivara
was yet more blunt; his comments on the
vi1Iage can be paraphrased as "primitive,
\IE!}' primitive." Omriy, the village was in
marl<ed contrast to the rarefied environs of
Muara Teweh. Why, 1 asked myself, do the
people of Kalimantan feel a need to
denounce their heritage and persue some
Western alternative? I have read that the
government of Indonesia actively discour-
ages Daynk people from following their tra-
dition lifestyles and culture. It has gone so
far as to make illegal the animist religions
native to the area. But I think there is some-
thing more at play here; I can not name it
exactly. It is related to why a man would
stop his moped to have a picture taken of his
family together with two complete
strangers.
When our two days in Muara Teweh had
passed our trip was nearly over. There was
a four hour speedboot ride to the village left.
We waited upon the dock, all of us (X)f."Qier-
ing the fact that we were to be manbers of a
village for the nOO ninety days; eight Cana-
dian and eight Indonesian visitoIs to a pJare
.from which there would be no leaving for a
weekend, a day, or even an hour. What ru1-
ture would I e.rX:JUnler there? What would
the family with whom I would spend the
next three months be like At the conclusion
of an intriguing voyage through a different
countzy and society, I had sighted the shore
of a strange new world
A10 The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
Unabashed Titanium Fetishist
FromA3
down. From where you're sitting, the
front axle should appear to be about 1 inch
behind the handle bars. This point is criti-
cal because it could have a disastrous effect
on the way the bike handles and performs.
If the bike meets all these sizing require-
ments, it's ready to take for a test drive.
While you're taking a spin around the
dealer's parking lot, make sure that every-
thing feels just right Something that's a lit-
tle bit annoying now will become a huge
pain in the ass Oiterally) on a longer ride.
This is the most important part of the
whole deal Try as many styles and sizes
of bikes as you have to. Don't be intimi-
dated by pressure sales tactics. It's your
money, so spend it wisely.
YOU'VE BEEN FRAMED
Frame material js something else to con-
sider when purchasing a bike. There are
all kinds but the most popular are steel,
aluminum, titanium and carbon fibre.
Steel has been around for ages but don't
be mislead, it's still a very viable frame
material. Usually, low quality bikes are
made from high tensile plain carbon steel
These bikes tend to be really heavy due to
the low strength to weight ratio of that par-
tirular steel However, most steel bikes are
made from a chromium-molybdenum
alloy commonly known as Cro-Moly. 0
actually went into a K-W bike shop where
the sales person insisted that hjs beloved
Cro-Moly bike was not made from steel I
could go on for hollIS about how stupid
some sales people are, but I digress.) The
most common of these alloys used for bike
construction is 4130. Frames made with
steel can be very strong and light when
properly engineered. Steel tubes are often
butted which means that they are thinner
in the middle than at the ends. This pro-
vides more material for welding and
allows the tubes to be very light.
Aluminum is another popular frame
material. Its strength to weight ratio is
pretty good but it has a much shorter
fatigue life tlWl steel Aluminum tubes are
generally much larger in diameter than all
others. Thjs helps improve strength by
increasing the tube's moment of inertia.
Aluminum tubes are also starting to be
butted as well but the process is still rather
costly and is usually found on more
expensive bikes. The most popular type of
aluminum for frame construction is 6061-
T6 (just like tl1e Midnight Sun!) fed: the T-
shirts are still ollly $10 right Marc?] (ed: They
certainly are Scott. Would you care to buy
one?) led: Geez! Enough with the duelling ed
comments!} but some 50Xl and 7OCO series
alloys are also used. One of the more inter-
GINO'S
esting developments in aluminum bikes is
the metal matrix composite in which
ceramic particles are combined with alu-
minum to produce lighter and stronger
tubing.
Titanium is yet another possibility, albeit
an expensive one. It has come a long way
in the short time that it has been used for
building frames. Tube sets are finally
being drawn especially for cycling applica-
tions. Titanium frames have a reputation
for being compliant and resilient. The
most popular alloy for bike construction is
25Al/4V but some companies are experi-
menting with 4Al/6V. Butted tubing is
also becoming available but as with alu-
minum, the process is still very complicat-
ed and expensive.
The newest member of the material
world is carbon fibre. They've introduced
an entirely new concept to frame construc-
tion: the monocoque. A monocoque is
basically a one piece frame which is
formed in a mould. Another way of using
carbon fibre tubing is in conjunction with
aluminum or titanium lugs and bonding
the whole thing together. Carbon fibre
frames are stiff and strong but are rather
expensive because the technology to han-
dle them is still under development
THE SUM OF ALL THE PARTS
A bike is only as good as the sum of its
parts. Cost has little bearing. Value is the
key. One of my favourite bike stories is the
one about the guy who bought a $150 tita-
nium water bottle cage only to discover
that a $5 plastic cage weighed about half as
much The point is to use your head when
you're looking at the components that are
offered with the bike.
It has been my experience that you can
trust just about anything produced by Shi-
mano, SunTour or Campagnolo. Each
company has a unique approach to drive
train construction but they all function as
intended. However, one thing to note is to
make sure that you end up with index
shifting. In case you haven't heard, index
shifting makes shifting gears easier by
eliminating all the guess work. The
shifters operate with a distinct click for
every gear. These types of shifters are
available as thumb shifters, which are like
small levers on the handle bars, or as push-
buttons. I would advise exercising some
caution when looking at pushbutton
shifters as some models are kind of unreli-
able. Thumb shifters also have ilie advan-
tage of switching to friction (non-index)
mode for when you get so much oap clog-
ging your derailleur that it doesn't index
properly anymore.
When looking at wheels, a few good
PIZZA
- MO"'N:- - -1 i' - 1
, LARGE I I FREE SLICE I
: PEPPERONI :
: PIZZA 1: :
I Reg. $9.08 $4 99 I : With the puRhue of 1
: Special With : lODe Stice and Pop. I
I Coupon ::.:0:0-' I I VaUd ODIy With. eoapo;,tl
----;mi-oRE;T' WCATio"Ns----
(Next to U of W) (Weber 8< BIidgeporI) (NorthfIeld & Davenport)
160 UnlveBlty Aile. W 948r1dgeport RO. E I 615 Davenport Rood
7" 7 9888 725-4440 725-4404
points to remember are to stay away from
chrome rims and to look for quick release
skewers at the hubs. Tires are terrain spe-
cific If you're going to be doing a lot of
riding on the street, go for something
smooth. If you're going to be doing a lot of
off-roading. go for something with heavy
tread and a lot of space between knobs.
Things to look for when looking for a
bike are top mounted cables, multiple (like
at least two) water bottle mounts and, if
you're interested, rack mounts.
The last thing I wanted to talk about is
the new wave of suspension forks that
have hit ilie mountain bike market. Don't
buy a bike just because it has a suspension
fork In a rush to hop onto the bandwag-
on, some manufacturers have been fitting
poorly built frames with suspension so
that they can meet certain cost targets and
attract customers. I could go on for ever
on thjs subject but just make sure that you
know what you're talking about before
you spring for that expensive piece of
equipment
HEY YOU, SAFEN UP!
Don't forget to buy a helmet! Just
remember that a helmet doesn't make you
indestructible. The day after I bought
mine was the first time I ever landed on
my head and ever since then, rve landed
on it almost every time I go out The point
is that you shouldn't take any extra risks
just because you've got a helmet on.
Gloves are another great idea. You can
avoid a great deal of road rash and callous-
ing plus they look cool
Finally, I'd like to remind everyone that
wearing a Walkman while riding is a big
mistake. Your ears are a very valuable
asset when you're on your bike. Don't
underestimate their ability to keep you out
of trouble.
DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE
As you mayor may not have inferred
from thjs article, I have little faith in sales
people. It's been my experience that some
(but not all) sales people will tell you any-
thing in order to make a sale. If the guy is
talking a mile a minute and he says some-
thing that you don't understand, ask him
to slow down and explain what he's talk-
ing about If he avoids your questions or
doesn't answer them properly, ask again.
Don't be intimidated!
Well, that's about all you need to know
to make an educated guess. I could fill an
entire IW willi useful stuff, but who would
read it? You now know more about bikes
than about 50% of the people selling them.
If you have any other questions, just come
on down to the IW office, the Orifice or
just send me some e-mail at MRRI5-
DALE@MECHANICAL and I'll try to
answer them.
Cha!
Cha!
Cha!
Jackie Dragert
Recycling Director
P
resenting to all engineering stu-
dents coloured/junk paper recy-
cling in the Orifice! That is
coloured paper, glossy paper, Post-it
notes, and envelopes (both with and with-
out windows) can now be recycled if you
bring them to the cardboard box labelled
"coloured paper recycling" in the Engi-
neering Society office. Telephone books
however are recycled along with newspa-
per and are to be placed in the large news-
paper bin in the CPH foyer.
On Tuesday, March 23 all blue boxes
in the classrooms must be returned to the
Orifice. All class representatives and all
class recycling representatives will be
receiving a notice to inform them of the
time. Thjs is important as it is how we
keep track of the blue boxes. After March
23, ilie only available recycling will be the
large blue bins located in the CPH foyer
and the E2 foyer so please do not leave
your recyclables in the classrooms for the
janitors!
And now ...
THE RECYCLING TIP
OF THE WEEK!
For those of you lucky enough to get a
job, here are a couple of tips for your work
term. If you are unsure of what goes into
the blue box for your area contact your
municipal government (ie Oty Hall). The
number can be located in the blue pages of
your phone book Not all blue box pro-
grams accept the same materials so check
it out
If you are interested in composting
but do not have a composter; first, get per-
mission from your landlord. If she/he
agrees, then dig a hole and compost things
that decompose quickly. Eggshells,
orange peels and watermelon rinds are all
examples of things that 00 NOT decom-
pose quickly. Try things like vegetable
remains and grass clippings. In your com-
pN hole/heap you need a few inches of
dirt for every inch of compN so that the
conditions are favourable for bacterial
growth and decomposition. At the end of
the term all you need to do is cover up the
hole with dirt
A big CHUG to all those who helped
recycle this term and thanks to all engi-
neers for your patronage!
That's aU folks and have a good sum-
mer!
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993
Announcements
All
The Sandford Fleming Foundation Waterloo Campus Activity
4306 Carl Pollock Hall, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G 1 (519) 888-4008
The Foundation presented eteven Work Term Report Awards at the luncheon on March 22,1993. Congratulations to the W'93 winners:

\
Jason Tang, 'E&CE
:T(fn.o, '&CE
:Marc Carriere, '&CE
1(ichanf 13wfge, qWL
qfenn JleroU CI'V
Stepfien 13umett, CIV
'Iricia 'Wiseman, CIV
13ri.an 9vfartin :M'ECJ{
1(e!I!J Laframfjoise, CJ{TJ,{
'Efiia:6eifi Costa, eJi'EM
qaTJ Skene, CIf'EM
* * * * * * * *
Further Travel Grants have been awarded this term to Gareth O'Loughlin and Rodrick Cave, E&CE to cover OEC competition expenses.
* * * * * * * * *
Do you have any old presentations that you did on a work term but
you think are worthless now? Will you have one next fall? Well,
dig them out and dust them off for the SFF Fall Technical Speak-
er Competition. One of those reports could win you some cash.
The presentation should be based on a work term experience.
SFF doesn't require any form of a written report for the Faculty
finals. Each department is responsible for running the program
competition during the first four weeks of lectures. The first place
winner from this level advances to the Faculty Finals. SFF awards
the Faculty Winner $200 and the other finalists $100. If you
really don't think you want to enter, come on out and watch. It's
fun and you may want to try it yourself after seeing others in ac-
tion. Watch SFF's Display Case in the CPH foyer for more details.
An organization devoted to the advancement of engineering education
Labelling and for Report Writers
Aloke Phatak and Robert Hudgins
Department of Chemical Engineering
W
hat makes student reports so
difficult to read? Technical
flaws? Seldom. Poor gram-
mar? Not usually. In our view, the two
chief faults are the sloppy, imprecise use of
words and a disregard for the natural flow
of ideas that a reader expects. Fortunately,
such faults, even if habitual, can be
unlearned through conscious effort. The
intent of this article is to encourage that
effort.
Students often fail to perceive that the
purpose of technkal writing is not merely
to present facts and information, but also
to communicate them. In other words, to
write effectively it's not enough just to tum
the data into sentences and paragraphs.
The writing will be inadequate unless most
readers can understand exactly what the
author had in mind.
The words we choose (sometimes
whimsically called labels) in engineering
are often concrete (Le., beams, wheels, vats,
computers); such basic vocabulary is sel-
dom misused. But engineers also describe,
analyze, argue, discriminate, and promote.
The wrong words will be selected for any
of these purposes when the writer
attempts to conceal ignorance beneath
grand utterances, to express generalities in
pretentious language, or simply to be care-
less about using the apt term. The choice
of suitable words is defined as good dic-
tion. By contrast, common examples of
poor diction lie in the .failure to distinguish
between such teIms as a model and a sim-
ulation, a variable and a parameter, or a
parameter and its estimate.
Yet, good diction is only one part of
good writing. The other inseparable ingre-
Poets Patron of the Week
dient is coherence. If the written ideas fol-
low some clear pattern, the reader discerns
them as having a sotmd structure. Consid-
er that a report is divided into logical units
called sections, such as the introduction,
experimental method, results, discussion,
and conclusions. The logic behind this
sequencing is inescapable. So too is the
logic behind the sequence of words that
make up a sentence. A sentence begins
with the topic position; the words used in
this position refer to a particular subject.
This part of the sentence looks backward
to ideas that have been presented, usually
in a previous one. The new infonnation
contained in the sentence is usually pre-
sented in the stress position which occurs
in the latter half of the sentence. n1e next
sentence overlaps the previous one in a
similar.way, suggestive of the laying of
shingles. "Shingling" one's sentences thus
pennits the reader to follow the expected
flow of ideas as the writer leads the reader
through a text To violate this expedation
is to neglect an entire row of shingles while
roofing.
Writing clear, precise, logical prose is sel-
dom easy. It is nonetheless essential, since
in a given year, a professional engineer will
usually write numerous proposals and
reports for various groups of readers.
There are rewards, however. One of these
is to be able to communicate our results to
others without ambiguity. An equally
important reward is to be able to clarify
our ideas to ourselves.
Reference: Phata.k. A and RR Hudgins,
"Grand Words, But So Hard to Read:
Structure and Diction in Technical Writ
ing," 01ertl. Eng. Ed., for publica-
tion 1993; includes many examples, some
of which are unintentionally comical.
AT
THE CAMPUS SHOP
Downstairs in the Campus Centre
- MARCH 29 TO APRIL 8 -
A 12
c o m
, CLEANEST, LAUNDROMAT IN

THE
Laund'1. Cafe
Loads of &Iean Fun f
NOBODY BEATS OUR tR\ttS
* lARGEST WASH CAPACITY IN KW
* OPEN lAM - 12 MIDNIGHT
* OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK
* ATTENDANT ALWAYS ON DUTY
* LlCENSEt IY 'IE L.e.I.O.
* 3 BILLIARD TABLES
* GAMES ROOM
* COMFORTABLE T.V. LOUNGE
* ASK ABOUT OUR:
- WASHIDRYIFOLD SERVICE
- FREE WASH CLUB
,...---
- - - - I
I",' "".AI, I

fi

I 1
I
THIS COUPON ENTITLES
I
1 I
YOU TO
I
-

..
ONE FREE SINGLE
j
1
LOAD WASH
I


EXPIRES 9/93
I
52
E
LIMIT ONE FREE WASH PER VISIT
ORVIN. CUSTOMERS ONLY
I
- ------
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993

1 c s
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993
Bus Push
A13
Over 100 Engineers Crawled Out
FromAl
crawling out of their v.rarm beds to brave
the elements. The event actually got
underway at approximately 10:40 AM.
Special guests attending included two
clowns, Elvis, City of Waterloo Councillor
Marty Taylor, some Big and Little Sisters
and last but never least ... the TOOL!. A
big thank you to the TOOL-bearers for
their help pulling and the candies along
the way. Some of the Big and Little Sisters
and also a few of our own engineers col-
lected money from motorists and pedesbi-
ans along the way, adding over $600 to the
other money collected through pledge
sheets. Our entourage reached Market
Square at exactly noon, taking only an
hour and twenty minutes to complete the
trek. one of the shortest times ever! There
is great speculation that the cold weather
and notions of a free lunch waiting at
POETS hurried everyone up just a wee bit!
Everyone then piled on to the bus and
headed back to the University for the
aforementioned free food. Thanks to
COCA-COLA BEVERAGES and SUB-
SHACK for their contributions to our
reception. A very special thank-you
should go to PIZZA HUT for coming
through two days before the BUS PUSH
with tons 0' pizza.
The BUS PUSH committee would also
like to thank CONESTOGA-ROVERS &
ASSCX:IA TIS for their generous contribu-
tion and CYCLEI' ATII for the cool moun-
tain bike on display now in the Orifice.
TIle bike is to go to the student who raises
the m ~ t money in pledges, but there are
lots of other fabulous prizes to be won for
t ~ who participated including T-shirts,
free passes, and gift certificates. All of the
prizes were donated by local businesses to
show their support for our efforts. Just to
remind all of the participants, BUS PUSH
T-shirts are still on sale in the Orifice in
limited quantities until the end of tenn.
The Big Sisters Association of Kitchener-
Waterloo would like to extend their thanks
to all those who took part on March 13,
you should feel a sense of pride and
accomplishment in knowing that you
have made a difference in this community,
showing that University of Waterloo Engi-
neering students can and do make impor-
tant contributions to their society. WAY
TOGO!!!
On the more fun side of things, a good
time was had by all and the 17TIl ANNU-
AL BUS PUSH FOR BIG SISTERS was a
HUGE success!
A 14
Opinion
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
I
Engitorials
Grumpy Old Man
Apathy, Apathy, Apathy!
I
f I had to hazard a guess at the
most annoying part of engineer-
ing, it would have to be Co-op. 1
could be just the IW staff and EngSoc who
are bothered by them the most and that
the rest of the engineering populous is
lUla.ffected but I honestly think I would be
wrong. Day in and day out, I overhear my
classmates and random strangers in the
halls griping about Co-op; how Co-op
screwed them, or screwed their friends. So
I said to myself, "Scott, let's give these pe0-
ple an opportunity to deliver some feed-
back to Co-op. If only Co-op knew the
number of people who were dissatisfied
with the quality service they provided
they'd be quicker to change their tune.
Let's give the engineering students a sur-
vey they can fill out and I'll take care of
tabulating the results, publishing them,
and giving a report to Co-op!"
"Yes Scott, a survey! The IW can make
the campus a better place," came the
resounding reply. (Good thing I pack the
office with a bunch of sycophants.)
By now you've probably read the Co-op
- State of the Nation pages and asked,
where are the survey results? Don't even
bother. Six people responded. Five, I
assume, because they felt sorry ferus.
So what does this say? Does anyone
read this newspaper? Well I must assume
so for by the end of two weeks, the entire
drculation has disappeared a always did
have this sneaking suspicion that Peter
Brown and his crew of Imprint ne'er do
wells went around throwing out copies
though.) There are always people asking
when the next IW will be here. And it
looks so darn pretty, it must get read.
Maybe some people just didn't see the sur-
vey, stuck back in the SECOND SEC-
TION, but all 1500 engineers? I'd have
been satisfied, if a little disappointed, with
even a hundred returned surveys.
In my opinion, it all comes down to this;
engineers are apathetic (and pathetic to
boot, stewing in a sea of turpitude). They
can talk the talk, but can they walk the
walk? Obviously not It doesn't matter
what Co-op does to them, because it just
doesn't matter enough to them to do
something about it, even something as
minor as filling out a survey. It's not like
I'm asking for a demonstration or a sit in or
a burning in effigy even, just twenty sec-
onds of your time to fill out a form, and
some thought during the day to put it in a
box when you're in the area of the Orifice.
Mr. Westlake, take as many virginal
frooh to be your own personal sacrifices as
you wish, no one will really care. Oh yes,
Coming of Age
Bliss, Bliss, Bliss!
"We're not just kids, fo say the JffiSt
We got ideas to us tllat's dear
like Cflpitalist, like commullist
like lots of things you heard alxJUt
And rm neckers thel) get liS pissed
And shlpid stuff it makes us shout
Oh dance with me dt don't be shy
Oh kiss the UXJrld 011 kiss the sky
Oh kiss my ass olt let it rock
University
It's educational"
-Pixies
C
ampus day really brought back a
lot of dusty old memories. I could
see myself as a very green, wet
behind the ears, high school kid standing
in awe before the noblest of institutions;
University. This was a place where I could
make something of myself and finally
come into to my own as an individual. I
was ready to gather all the knowledge I
could. I guess you could say that I was
eager to get out of high school.
I left my home town with ah;olute1y no
inkling of what life was about or what it
had in store for me. Looking back on it
now, I can see just how naive I really was.
A lot has happened to me in the last two
and a half years. Relationships, both
friendly and romantic, have flourished
and fallen through. Attitudes and under-
standings have evolved. Some of the
changes I've made to myself hurt at the
time but the benefits far outweigh the cost.
The point is that I opened my mind to a
whole lot more than just Calculus and
Physics. Thanks to an insatiable appetite
for reading and a boundless curiosity, I
learned to fully appreciate life and its
many wonders. I've still got a lot of work
to do but I'm fairly pleased with the way
I'm turning out
University sets before us a myriad of
things to experience and feel Just think of
the limitless opportunities that are avail-
able. It boggles the mind You're out on
your own and you're finally unfettered. If
you play your cards right, you can learn
about such diverse topiCS as politics, art
and love. Irs interesting to note that some
of the ~ important things you can dis-
cover while you're here will never show
up on any transcript It's all a part of grow-
ingup.
One day, over lunch, a group of friends
and I came to the conclusion that a Renais-
sance image was ideally what each of us
would like to attain. Just think about it for
a minute. The Renaissance was a time
when the sum of human knowledge could
be understood by anyone man or woman
given enough time and schooling. This is
obviously not pa;sible these days because
they'll talk up a good
storm over a brew in
POETS, but you put
that pen and paper in
front of them and, shit,
they just did enough of
that in ODE's, and get
me another beer
dammit! It makes me
smoke. led: Yeah, it real-
ly steams my muffins!]
Well, that was it, the final one of those I'll
ever have to do (For the IW at least). FIrst
of all, I'd like to thank all the staff I've
worked with over the past two terms, it
couldn't have been done without your
help. People need to realize the amount of
work that gets put into publishing this rag
(I'd say at least 500 person/hours per
issue) and accept that we're doing this on
top of an almost full course load (see more
on this just a little ways down). It may
seem to some readers that it is more work
than it is worth but you couldn't be more
wrong. I've realized that working on this
paper, and the interaction with so many
people in the engineering faculty that goes
along with it, is what has made my time at
this University so great Just remember, no
matter what term you're in, there's still
of the dizzying levels of specialization to
which our society's purview has sluunk.
We seem to be learning more and more
about less and less and fm afraid we may
be losing sight of the whole.
Don't think for one second that fm sug-
gesting we all just drop Engineering and
enroll in Liberal Arts programs, (some-
body's got to keep the world spinning) but
there's a lot that can be done with what lit-
tle spare time that we do have. Get
involved in something. Anything will do
as long as it's not just resume filler.
I can say this now because my level of
involvement has risen by leaps and
bounds over the past few tenns. It started
innocently enough when I joined our cJass
basketball team but it has recently swelled
to include the Iron Warrior, the Midnight
Sun and Enl'oc The strange thing about
~ is that my marks have improved led:
I
time to get involved and active whether it
be in the Warrior or any other engineering,
university, or community organization.
life is only what you make out of it
Now one last point, and probably the
most important There is another group of
people I'd like to thank for helping me
with the Warrior. In no particular order,
Ellie Cochien, Dave Morton, Stephan
Poitras, Mike Roth, Peter Villneuve, Tom
Lovie and Colin Hung; for covering my
butt on assignments, projects and exams,
above and beyond the call of duty over the
last two terms. Thanks guys, because
without it, this would never have been
~ ~
mUst be nice!] and I've never been happier
le [(again): So Andy, are lU? ready to shoot our-
selves for having such pitiful lire> in corrqxni-
son to His Majesty?]. Never underestimate
the fringe benefits (like the smell of Texas
markers or the late night
fornication/dance raves in the IW office) of
getting your nose out of those books.
Serendipity is a many splendoured thing.
Give it a try.
p.s. I'd like to thank everyone I know
(especially my burgeoning fan club) for
making my first term as IW editor posi-
tively SUPER. I'm really looking folWard
to coming back next tenn and doing it all
again. See ya in the fall!
---
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993
Rhetoric and Technology A15
Dear IW,
In his article 'Wind Energy /l.nswers" (IW,
Mar 12, 1992), Eugenio DiMiraobseNes
that "Consoering ... that the power
generated inaeases to the square of the
velocity, utilizing the best resource is
important in order to achieve the most
economical results." Truth is, it's even more
important than the author suggests, since
the power generated increases to the cube
of the velocity! Surprising perhaps, but from
the general energy balance (e.g., from
Chem Eng 101) and a couple of reason-
able assumptions, you can deduce that the
power developed by a windmill varies as
the cube of the air velocity entering it. As a
reference, I suggest. "Small Scale Wind
Power," J. McGuigan, Prism Press,
Dorchester, UK, 1978.
Bob Hudgins
Professor, Chemical Engineering
DearIW,
As I lumbered out of the Dana Porter
library after a long evening of studying I
came across a peculiar magazine - The
Sphere. I'd never heard of this before, so I
was eager to check tt out. As tt rums out,
this is the premier edition of the Arts
Student News. Arts students got their act
together and published something; I'm
impressed. I can just imagine the edttors
hunched over some archaic mink::omp...rter
in the holEHn-the-waJl called Arts Soc. Look
hard enough and you just might spot the
office.
The newspaper had some interesting
articles, one that even made print in the
Gazette on life in Universite Canadienne
en France. Where else can you be advised
of the English Society Annual Leonard
Cohen glow-in-the-dark touma-
ment? tt was, however, filled with larger-
than-me letters, funky fade in graphics,
annoying type-setting of different sizes, Arts
Soc propaganda and spelling mistakes.
Most of those I can accept, save the
spelling mistakes. I know the edttors of the
Iron Warrior spend extraneous amounts of
time correcting spelling mistakes [ed: Oh
give me a break, we still miss piles of
themU and diction. It's not that hard a thing
to watch out for. Granted, this was the first
edition, but they're arts students for
goodness sake. It's most amusing,
considering the reputation they're trying to
uphold. These are the people that should
be the most likely not to make speDing
mistakes.
This article, rowever, is not meant to
dissect The Sphere. I'd like it to grow into
something larger, better, something
unique. I feel this sort of paper missing
in our university. I'd love to see publications
from all major faculties. I've only ever read
the Iron Warrior, MathNews, Gazette, and
Imprint These are all strong papers, but
where is the voice of Recreation? Science?
Kin? Biology? Surely these groups can
create something.
I think the Sphere is definitely a step in
the right direction. I'd like to see articles on
new books. Waterloo professors have a lot
of books on the market, and the only way
people are going to hear about them is if
someone writes something on them.
McCormack's books are excellent Lefs
have an indepth review of Sexing the
Cherry. Lefs have philosophical disrus-
sions on Nietzsche's ideals, on Ibsen's
thoughts on society, make something up
even. English has an enormous repertoire
of topics of discussion, lefs explott them. I
wish I could, but I'm bounded by my
studies as an engineer. If you enjoy being
in your faaJlty, lefs see tt. Record reviews
we should leave to the Imprint lackeys who
seem to think that the more obscure the
album, the higher it should rank.
The bottom line here is that there's
potential for creating a new medium for
debate. I'd like to think that I'm always open
to new deas and any forum of discussion I
gladly welcome. To all engineers, take one
home and have a gHmpse of life with 10
hours of class a week and take home
finals, before the paper simply fades into
obscurity in the minds of those who
participated.
Dear NIJ,
, heard rerently that almost 3CJ01o of the
undergrads this term decided not to
support the WEEF. The reason seemed to
echo from everybody I asked: no cashll
This can lead to two possible conclusions;
either there has recently been a large
reduction in jobs, causing the proliferation
of unemployment within the co-op system,
or people are liars. As with most cases, I
think that the truth lies somewhere in
between. The cash shortage response is
the most popular and seems to be the
most politically oorrect one to make as tt
leaves the implication for cancellation on
extemal factors. Now, I realize that there is
a real shortage of jobs and money out
there, and there are a great number of
people for whom $75 makes all the
difference in the world. What I do question
though, is if 30% of us ftt in this category.
The WEEF has given us a jump start on
the rest of the country at addressing the
underfunding issue in a proactive way. It
was the concept of a few people who sold
the whole faaJlty on it, and made it a reality.
At first, the goals of the WEEF seemed so
clear, and its purpose so noble that tt
appeared nobody cancelled without a real
good reason. Now I get a sense that a lot
of people just don't care about tt, and group
it in with the other depreciating investments
on the fee statement like Imprint and
WPIRG. What's wrong here? What
happened to reason? Where did every-
body go? I have always been one to call a
spade a spade, and that's why I'm writing
this letter. I know that everybody doesn't
have the same finardal priorities I do,
but when somebody "can't afford the $75"
and then goes out and buys a $2000
. RRSP it really makes me wonder.
I am proud of this school, and am proud
that I am allowed to attend it. I am glad
MocIeans agrees with me (for once) that
this is the Ijest school in the country. One of
the main points that MacIeans ma:ie about
uw its vision and (X)fTlmitment to long
term planning and excellence. Unforrunate-
Iy, on the horizon, there are treros develop-
ing that can jeopardize our place. I see a
University that just recently gave an
overwhelming thumbs down to the current
student Ioi::t>y group claiming that they do
not represent us. I see a massi\le amount
of incompetence spewing out of the
Queen's Park Treasurer's office. I see
countless other schools and faculties
looking. at our leadership and copying tt as
a workable solution to their underfunding
problems. RnaJly, I see a that
has a fundamental difference from any
other recession that the world has ever
known. This time, suNivors Will be are the
ones with a strong education who have
been prepared to contribute in some way to
a globally defined economy. From these
trends, it really seems that the only d10ice
we have is to take the bull by the homs and
the problem ourselves. Our options
are fairly simple; either we get tossed
around by the whims of whatever is in
vogue with whoever is in charge, or we pr0-
actively position ourselves to become a self
sustaining body, capable of ensuring that
future students will still be going to the best
engineering school in Canada when they
come here. Taking the second road means
more pain right now, especially in the
unstable early stages, but tt means our
degrees will be worth something in 20
years. Having a degree worth something
means qutte a lot Just compare an
aerospace graduate from M.l.T. and the
University of Toronto 25 years ago.
Although \J.of T. might have had a better
program lxw::k then, employers em't care
about that now when they are interviewing
these two candoates. An employer looks
at M.I.T. and sees the most adv8J'"lOO:i
engineering school in the world. When they
look for U.of T.'s aerospace engineering
program, they just keep on looking.
As for immediate sokJtions to the
problem with the popularity of canooDing,
I'm not sure what to do. We could post
everybody's names, or not let them play
with any of the toys that are bought through
endowment money. We could shun them
from using the C&D and place a special
note on their transctipts. J don't know, but
these solutions would definttely cause
many more problems than the one they
might address. If anybody has any ideas; I
would really like to hear them. On the same
note, if anybody thinks that I'm missing the
point, then I'd like to hear about that too.
Rnally, H you don't pay your VSC for a
va/o, non- financial reason, or have a
complaint with the way it is run then please
let the WEEF guys know about it. It's your
money, your education, and your future.
They are doing this for the good of your
education.
Chris Wormald
36 Mechanical
DearlW,
In reading the point-counterpoint Bagley
Brothers article in the most rerent IW, we
became aNare of inaccuracies in
the physics comparing the 5-battery
flashlight to the hod<ey stick for hitting
people.
Mr. Ouellette suggested a lighter object
could gain the most momentum, and
therefore hit han:fer, however, momenIum
is cabJlated from the product of mass and
velocity. The lesser mass therefore yields a
more modest momenrum. This misconcep-
tion may be offset by the greater velocity
possible with a hockey stick. The hockey
stick with its greater length may achieve
greater velocities given equivalent power
input.
This dual nature \eaves us in a theoreti-
cal quandIy. As sudl, we felt enpricaJ
results were most pertinent to the situation.
Extensive testing dldlea::l us to believe the
flashlight would have a definitive advan-
tage over the hod<ey stick.
The physics department was unavailable
for oomment
Kim Jones
James McCourt
Tracey saunders
3AChem.
More than just a copy centre!
For professional looking assignments and
projects, come in and use one of our I.B.M.
elones and output to a HP Laserjet III that will
give you clean, crisp laser prints.
Lotus, Microsoft Word, WordPerfect ... etc.
Get the Topley advantage.
Xerox copying Colour Laser Copies
Desktop Publishing Laser Printing
Graphic Design IBM or Macintosh
Bindery Resumes

Topley Copy Centre
150 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario
(519) 746-2679 Fax(S19) 746-7002
Support your University!
Use the on-campus photocopying,
bindery and typesetting facilities.
Cash Copy Centre Locations
Engineering - E2 2353
Environmental Studies - ES2 277
Math and Computer - MC 5182
Both Libraries - LIB 218 and DC 1501
PLUS colour copying in Dana Porter Library - LIB 218
Photocopying
We serve at 7 per copy (plus PST),
discount on volume copying. Collating,
stapling and a variety of paper colours
available at no extra cost (see the list of
locations below)
Self serve copying at 10 per copy
(available in the libraries and various
locations on campus)
Venda card copiers at 6 per copy are
located in the Dana Porter and
Davis Centre Libraries
Plastic Ring Binding
Same day service available at Graphic
Services, hours 8:00 am - 4:30 pm
Copy Centre Locations
Dana Porter Library - LIB 218, ext. 2956
Math Centre - MC 5182, ext. 2335
Engineering - E2 2353, ext. 2334
Arts Centre - HH 370, ext. 2336
Davis Centre Library - DC 1501, ext. 3878
Environmental Studies - ES2 277, ext. 3003
High Resolution Typesetting
For high quality output try our Linotronic
300 Imagesetter (1270 dpi) or our VT600W
Laser Printer (600 dpi).
We can typeset any computer file in
PostScript format from:
Mac diskettes
5.25 inch PC diskettes (low density only)
3.5 inch PC diskettes
SCRIPT on CMS
TROFF on UNIX.
We can translate your PC file to our Mac
and format into brochures, books, reports
and flyers, etc.
For more information about typesetting
located in GSC, call ext. 6324 or 5169.
Offset Printing
Graphic Services, hours 8:00 am - 4:30 pm
General information, call ext. 3451.
Graphic Services
General Services Complex
1993 The Iron Warrior
Waterloo, Friday, March 26, 1993
Mickey Mou
Kim Farwell
IW Staff
I
na wild perfonnance at the Hwnani-
ties Theatre on Sunday, March 14,
Mickey Mouse, done up in full Kiss
makeup, bit the head off a live doll at the
end of the set. According to a spokesper-
son with close ties to the band, Mickey was
provoked by one Little Miss Muffet, the
owner of the unfortunate doll Muffet had
somehow managed to bypass security and
could be seen dancing on the stage. The
doll required about fifty stitches and is in
serious condition, but doctors have said it
will recover. The Magicians Local 812
were concerned for the safety of the dove
from the previous act, but they were
assured that Mickey was subdued imme-
diately upon leaving the stage. No charges
have been laid. Mickey Mouse and Miss
Muffet were unavailable for comment.
This term's TalEng show started with
Delusions of Grandeur, who were
IUIllOUI"eI.i to be a techno-6ynI:h
are actually a keyboard guitar attack with
a powerful, heavy sound. Obviously
influenced by Pink Floyd (one of their cov-
ers was Comfortably Numb) this band
performed one of their own songs which
kept the dark, minor Floyd sound happen-
ing, but with folk-ballad overtones. Unfor-
tunately the Master of Ceremonies,
Stephen Codrington didn't feel he could
compete with this great band when he
came back on stage to fill time before the
next act and he lamented how Robin
Williams could get up on stage with
absolutely nothing to say and people
would still laugh at him. But Steve, we
laughed at you. You asked, "But can
Robin Williams build a bridge?" And
some heckler from the audience piped up,
''But can you?" We laughed.
Just Two Guys, the jazz duet consisting
of, yup, two guys playing a sax and an
electronic piano (sounding increchbly like
the real thing - isn't technology great?)
played a few wailin' jazz tunes that came
together with a constant flowing melody.
It was almost as if the music flowed from
their cumulative mind. They were fol-
lowed by a band called Jas, who didn't
play any jazz at all Their set consisted of
the classic hard rock of Hendrix, Zeppelin
and Queen (not Queen's, Stephen). It was
tight, and it rocked us right into the next
act, Theatre Sports.
If you don't know what Theatre Sports
are (if you were there and you still don't
know, I don't blame you). It isn't easily
defined except that it is a type of improvi-
sational comedy. TIle main thrust of The-
atre Sports is to be as silly as possible,
preferably as a group and put together a
scene. TItis group managed that aspect
very well One of Theatre Sports' greatest
challenges is finding an ending to the
scene, which didn't seem to be a problem
for this group either. And they required a
little audience participation, calling a
bunch of people up on stage to help out as
props. .. It was a good show. We laughed,
which is the whole point
The next act to the stage was Penny
Dreadful, an acoustically oriented band
who performed some covers, mainly of
music by the Jndigo Girls. This band has a
lot of vocal talent, and they used it well
with a lot of difficult harmonies. Penny
Dreadful also had to deal with a few minor
technical difficulties, like fuzzy guitars (no,
not like ZZ Top - they sounded fuzzy)
and mike stands that wouldn't ro-operate.
With the air of experienced performers,
they solved the problems quickly and con-
tinued a great show.
Malibu Stacey opened their set with a
dual guitar rendition of "Hall of the Moun-
tain King" which set the scene for the
diversity and creativity to come. They
label their music "Grunk" (a cross between
Grunge and Funk) with covers from
Lenny Kravitz and the Chili Peppers and
an impressive collection of their own cre-
ations. Malibu Stacey has a sound that
would fit into the Seattle music scene bet-
ter than most Seattle bar bands. "All my
life - a whole twenty years ... " It's still in
F'lmsesre BEIlER -B3
Section B
e ites!
B2
Trevor Ball
3B Electrical
A
n April March are a local inde-
pendent band with a great deal of
talent. Led by their charismatic
singer, Danella Hocevar, they delivered an
excellent, very professional sounding and
looking set. Although their show was dis-
appointingly short, (only eight songs), they
made the most of their time on stage, get-
ting some of the audience dancing to their
best-known song, Scarlett Bliss, as well as
perfonning other songs from their demo
tapes. Unfortunately, only a handful of
people were there to enjoy the show;
despite a meagre $2 cover charge and
there were no more than thirty people in
the audience.
The sound of their recordings is careful-
ly-crafted, contemplative, and textured;
like a cross between the Sundays and the
Cocteau Twins. It is heartening to know
that somebcxiy in Canada is good at mak-
ing that sort of music. Some have tried it,
erhune ree, for example), but none are
nearly as adept as An April March. Their
live performance had a more lively, hard-
er-edged sound that gave the music more
emotion and captured the listeners atten-
tion more effectively than the recordings.
Despite their musical ability, they don't
seem to have a talent for promoting them-
selves. That a group as good as An April
March couldn't draw more than thirty
people is testament to U1at. They have at
least four demo tapes and a video for Scar-
Engitainment
lett Bliss that gets occasional play on
MuchMusic's fudie Street, but they haven't
managed to make a CD. Making a CD
would seem to be the next logical step, and
might be the vehicle that would give An
April March the exposure and attention
they deserve.
In fact, it is perhaps one of the world's
great injustices that An April March don't
have a CD, while the opening band,
Parade, have released one of their own.
Parade is an extremely self-indulgent
band, with each member seeming to go off
on whatever musical tangent they want
whenever they want VIrtually every song
begins with a drum machine solo, fol-
lowed by the band chiming in and eventu-
ally deteriorating to a heap of individual
sounds, each competing for attention. The
singer acted very immature, and the gui-
tarist was often obnoxious. Now, with all
that said, they weren't entirely bad.
Although their self-centeredness was
annoying, the music they produced was
exIreme1y expressive and admirably origi-
nal. Also, after listening to a few tracks
from their CD, some of their songs do
demonstrate some promise, most notably
Claim Innocence and Icarus, the tiUe track
ofUleCD.
The Kave itself is a comfortable, intimate
setting for a concert, perfect for any band
that seeks to create a close rapport with the
audience. It's a little tough to find, but it's
worthil
Irvin Remedios
DAWGS
A
sold out crowd greeted the Sun-
days at the Opera House an all
ages show. The concert started at
about l0:00pm with opening band Luna. I
hadn't heard any of their music prior to
the show, and suffice to say, they left a
good first impression. The only fault in
their performance was that at times, they
seemed to plod through a group of songs,
at a stagnating tempo. However, overall,
Luna provided a solid performance for
their fans.
At about 11:3Opm, the main attraction,
the Sundays, entered a smoke filled stage.
Surprisingly, their first few songs, were
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
taken from their debut album, ''Reading,
Writing, and Arithmetic". Songs from
"blind, their latest release, soon followed.
The charming, eccentric voice of lead
singer Harriet Wheeler kept the crowd
spe1lbound for over an hour. She seemed
shy at times, and even thanked the crowd
for "playing with us". This, coupled. with
some melodic guitar work by David
Gavurin, resulted in a very impressive per-
formance. The show hit a climax with the
Sundays first hit song, ''Here's Where the
Story Ends". The band came on for two
encores, playing their new hit "Love", and
finished the performance with "Hideous
Towns". All in all, it was a great show,
well worth the drive to Toronto.
:.-" ...... -,_.. . ........ " .... . ... .
......... 04 ...................................... .. ................. . ..................... . ...................... ..... . , ............................................. ............... ... ........... ...... ........... .
Engineering
C8fD
Operated by Students for the
Students &. Staff of the
Waterloo Engineering Community
Located Outside POeTS In CPH
\>....................... H ......... . .............. . ....................................................................................................................................................................................................... .
An Engineer's guide to the
Bombshelter:
Come down to ...
Chemical - nUx and mingle
CivD - bum bridges
Computer - get with the
program
Electrlcal - connect
with other live wires r-;
Mechanical - get ........-
things going
Systems pesign -
use your flowpath
(gJugglug)
Fresh food and beverages daily!
YOU WILL FLIP OVER IT! ....
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
Tal-Eng B3
Better Than Most Seattle Bar Bands
FromBl
my head.
The program called him Gnmt, the MC
made some allusion to a chimpanzee, and
I think he had a professional soW1ding,
magician-like stage name in there, but I
know him as Andy, ''frust me, I'm a pro-
fessional .. " who does card tricks in class.
And he had more than just a few card
tricks for TalEng. He tore off a quarter of a
twenty dollar bill and retrieved it from
inside an W1CUt lemon. He stuck a rod
through his arm, complete with blood and
produced several doves: one fake, one
squashed, and one live He demonstrated
how well he could escape from a set of
handcuffs then tore up a newspaper, com-
menting on his Japanese ex-girlfriend's
ability to "fake origami". He gathered up
all the pieces of newspaper and with a
pass of his hand it was whole again!
Maybe he could do that to put Subway
coupons back into the lW ...
The Chemmunists clO6ed the show, lit-
erally, as was alluded to in the opening
paragraph. The band, starring Mickey, the
mutant giant Sammy Mouse, and the rest
of the members of being Alex, B:fdy
and Mike, played a set with music from
the afore mentioned plus Wilcox, Thoro-
good, Nirvana and Ozzy. Although th >
01emmunists claim to have no talent, their
rendition of Smells Uke Teen Spirit hc'ld all
the vocal clarity usually dem nstrated by
Nirvana's singer, Kurt Cobain. J must say
the furry pink pants sported by their guest
bassist showed true fac;hion sense and the
Cossack dancing during the guitar solo in
Crazy Train was extremely inspirational.
The Award for the Best Echo and
Reverb in the Humanities Theatre goes to
Delusions of Grandeur. Penny Dreadful
deserves the Did-Not-Live-Up-To-Their-
Name Award, along with a special men-
tion for overcoming technical difficulties.
The Best Wailin' Green Dolphin Solo
Awaro goes to Just Two Guys. The Gen-
erally Goofy Award goes to the Theatre
Sports team with honourable mention to
the two human fire trucks. The Most Hair
in One Act (or the least eyes) goes to Mal-
ibu Stacey - gotta mention the purple
Docs with the green laces too! The Chern-
munists win the Best Makeup Effects
Award and the Ethnic Dance Award. The
Hey, you there, yo, yes you, what-in-heck-
does-your-name-mean-anyway award
goes to Jas. The Drooling Pac Man/Mak-
ing a Mess of the Stage Awaro goes to the
magician/ chimpanzee. And the Special
Mention in Pettyfogging goes to the Mas-
ter of Ceremonies Presi.dent Codrington
(wOO also .raceJws the Onsatge hoWg:ra-
phyAwaro).
Special thanks to the Taleng directors,
th \ performers, th' n!chiL'S (l think you did
a phenomennl job under tht..' circum-
stances), the MC and all thOSt' dedicated
fans who brawd the fridgid (oops, no d)
winds just to be there. It was well worth it.
B4
The Great White Scunt
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993
The Great
A Huge
Chris Weech
Stressed
A
nother Havenger Scunt has come
and gone. It's time that I start
showing up to classes (in body,
but not in spirit) and start paying attention
to assignments once again. But although
life may be retumj.ng to its normal, tedious
grind, the main topic of conversation, in
my class at least, still remains The Great
WhiteScunt.
Stressed red: S&M](2A Gvil)would like
to offer HUGE congratulations to OiUG
for running an awesome Scunt (especially
the S & M competition). I believe a great
time was had by ail, and nobody was
arrested. Well done.
We would also like to congratulate XGv
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993
The Great White Scunt
White Scunt
Success, Eh!
(36 Civil) on their win. It was real close
but they went the distance and finished on
top. What can we say? Oh ya ... thanks,
and good luck. After seeing Dave Jarvis
Saturday afternoon, do we need to say any
more?
o the echanical Bulls (2A echruU-
cal) who came in a close third behind us,
we all tip our purple caps. They had a
small team but they still managed to kick
ass in most the events. Mind you, their
headquarters security was lacking to say
the least Sorry about the boots, Dave.
I was particularly impressed with Road
Crew (1B Civil) who somehow managed
to find enough spirit in their c1ass to enter
a team (a tiny team at that). I think they
must have set a new Scunt record for the
smallest showing at a judging: 2 people.
Yes, they placed fifth, but who doesn't root
for the underdog?
We don't have much to say to the Alco-
holics (16 Chemical), who came in fourth,
except that we thought they were seriously
acking in hospitality when we'Visi
their headquarters at 3:30 in the morning.
Ughten up guys.
In closing, I would like to thank the tech-
nicians (Terry, Oscar, and Dick) forprovid-
ing us the facilities to work on the Shark-
mobile, the guys at Central Stores for giv-
ing us a temporary home for it, and the
Campus Cops for turning a blind eye
while we toured campus, making a major
spectacle of ourselves.
BS
B6
,
w-
I
most recent
album to date
(second major release) is a big step down
from the last. Catchy ditties are the order
of the day, but make no mistake, they are
ditties. Not only that but they are repeat-
ed to death. Saccharine sweet, they do not
leave one desiring an encore performance.
Generic describes the overall music
quite well. After hearing one track on the
album - Sweet Harmony is the most tol-
erable - you've heard just about every-
thing there is to hear on the entire disc.
Something of a New"Order rip-off with
more obvious lyrics that denigrate
thought and without any guitars, leaving
only the synthesizers to wail insufficiently.
About the only good use I could find for
this music was for background while
studying and I can think of a lot less
expensive metl10ds of getting this.
Engitainment
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26, 1993
Chugat alon!
From AS
intense orienteering run that involved the
use of a calculator and some very creative
hands. One of the teams won the category
for most INTERACTIVE snow sculpture.
Back in Ottawa, some of the more inter-
esting events included campaigning for
Don Cherry, protesting tlUlt men are real
people too (liMy mother was a man!"), eat-
ing suicide burgers ("extra sauce, hold the
beef"), critiquing the nations musewns
and art galleries and checking the person-
als for lady Godiva's submission.
Back in town, Bob and Doug's song
could be heard throughout Waterloo
Town Square, as could the sonnets of those
serenading people they had never met
before. Elsewhere, teams searched the
countryside for the pig-rolling contest. for-
tunately, no animals were harmed in this
incident and we quickly moved to other
events. These went smoothly, except for
the bowling, because we were stuck with
the slowest lane. Still, Dave showed how
to scam a strike out of the computer and
one of the team members showed how to
knock over the pins while the ball was in
the gutter.
In Guelph, things went well and Chris
showed that it truly is valuable to know
the owner of the bar you're in. It's still
unclear whether or not bridge monkeys
are still hanging around, but if they are,
we're sure that they're better off for the
experience. On the way back from Guelph,
it seems that some of the teams took a few
wrong turns. For those of you who still
don't get it: goRight!!!!!! GoriGHt!!!!!!!
gORIght!!!!!!
POETS, as usual, was the centre of enter-
tainment and the location of the centre of
everything. Throughout the entire
evening, we were shown the best uses for
an Imprint to date. Harvey was impressed
with the response he was getting from
Road Crew. Everyone was impressed with
the dance routines, especially the with
Alcoholics' presentation, which was
thrown together in 30 minutes. As for
Stressed and their fashion show,. .. we feel
the flattened chair says it all Crisco Twister
was the climax of the night, with some
interesting positions coming out of it.
From there, all that was left were the HQ
tours and the final judging. There was lots
of music, dancing, food and a very athletic
demonstration by Road Crew, considering
what time of night it was. Final judging
was draining but entertaining nonetheless.
Hockey in the fishbowl was fun to watch.
So were other things provided by the Alco-
holics. Massages were HIGHLY appreciat-
ed by a certain SCUNT god who honestly
couldn't raise his arm above his head
In the end, good times were had by all
Mech Bulls won Ottawa. Stressed won
Guelph, but XOV won the trip back. Mech
Bulls and XOV tied in the Northern Exp<r
sure run Alcoholics won POEfS' events.
Overall, XCIV won, followed by
Stressed, Mech Bulls, Alcoholics and Road
Crew. The top 4 teams were within 3(XX)
points of each other.
As for this term's final CHUGS and
SPEWSr ..
Another OillG to sleep.
A huge CHUG to XCIV for winning the
Great White Scunt. Good job, eh!
A huge Q-lUG to Stressed for the Shark-
mobile.
A huge OillG to Mech Bulls for holding
their beer.
A huge OillG to the Alcoholics for their
wonderful rendition of the Plumber's
Hymn.
A huge OillG to Road Crew for winning
thePLD.
A huge CHUG to the SCUNT gods for
putting the effort into this event and mak-
ing it the success it was.
We especially want to thank Jason Mur-
phy, Mokincha, Tyler, Dave Ludburg,
Mike Oarke, lizard, Sal, Leotard, Psycho,
Maceo, Mav, Rollerblade Dude, Sub, Sierra
Wilde, Oyde, the Aggravator, Big Red Frre
Head, Fast Eddie, Helen, Zach, HO, Mark,
Jennifer, Chugger, Kevlar, the Wild Party,
BP, .. .lives in a ... , Kelly, Muz, Big P.,
Nanook, the Bear, Boner, the Sleepy
Blonde.
Godspell is a celebration of Iffe
ur
Cellar
Kim Farwell
IW Staff
T
he stage is plain and dark adorned
by a tall, silver clucken wire fence,
and behind it the house lights glint
off a drum set. There is a collection of
odds and ends along the base of the fence,
but downstage it is empty, bare, black.
The cast mes onstage and the show begins,
the music starts. Visually it is harsh -
black, silver and faded denim - but the
energy is high, pulsing and powerful.
Then suddenly the stage is ablaze with
colour. There's a party going on. It's a cel-
ebration of a leader, a belief, a celebration
of life.
Jesus Christ the cult hero. Human, but
larger than life. People flock to hear him
preach. The government, the law and the
church condemn him. "Hypocrites," he
cries to the lawyers and Pharisees, who
refuse to support his ideas because of the
threat to their positions.
Jesus Christ the teacher, the storyteller,
the philosopher. He offers a new way to
live, a new society. He preaches forgive-
ness rather than harsh judgement, and the
people open their trust to him. His mes-
sage reaches the outcasts, like the tax-a>l-
lectors and prortitutes, and he treats them
as equals. He teaches them to love each
other, and to love life.
Although there is certainly a biblical
aspect to the story line, the play focuses on
the social values and philosophy of Christ.
Godspell glorifies the storyteller and
rerounts, acts out, mimes and sings many
of the parables and teachings of Jesus. It is
about the charisma of a leader and the
power of his follOwing.
A mere cast of ten portrayed Quist, his
disciples and his followers. The actors
were constantly forced to switch roles,
even playing a different sex sometimes.
TIlere was never a hesitation and the char-
acterizations flowed with new accents,
postures, attitudes. The choreography was
skillful and exciting to watch.
The Cast has given Godspell their own
personal toucl1. There are current political
jokes, allusions to popular movies and tele-
vision shows, as well as classic lines from
commercials. There are some creative
sight gags and slapstick that work
extremely well. Godspelliends itself to
audience interaction and improvisation It
will be a different show for every perfor-
mance. Be wary of severe famine and
depending where you sit, you may be vis-
ited by a sheep.
'This is not a conventional production It
is has an air of informality that compels the
audience to become a part of the story, a
piece of the action. There isn't even an
intermission in the traditional sense as the
cast never really leaves the stage. The
party just keeps on going and the actors
keep pwnping out the tremendous energy
that makes this play such a success. Even
after the play has ended the celebration
rages on
FromB7
"You'll get yours for ditching me last night
you bitch."
"Adam help me:' Liz ailled out in a near
whisper.
"Don't you know that you don't go out
with frosh, when there are senior students
who want to go out with YOlL"
Liz was crying and Adam screamed out
again
"You just tum around and. go away retch
boy, unle:o you want me to do to you. what I
did pencil stick down there."
"Comeon, get me," Adam called out
"More butt for me after this dish," Sean
replied
Then suddenly, a voice came from behind
Adam, "You called? It is Alex, but you can
.'
3

5
t>ooJI .. e&
These :z J
ys
aill me :Manuel, here to help."
"What the. .. "
Three bullets, in the head. put Sean down
on the floor, and liz covered in blood and
brains. "Till, we meet again my friend,"
:Manuel laughed and then tossed the gun at
Adam before disappearing.
Adam caught the pistol and then realizing
what it was dropped it on the floor. He
stood, looking in awe at wlutt surrounded
him.
.. .-Co
Stay tuned for next
term's installment of
Adam's adventures and
see how he gets out of
this sticky situation!
fo 7-

'a
)(<1,",,5
2. $
HQPpy
?--S c;
\,.
s+Ud
y
;...,.
S-ta('+ S,rthdo.
y

C>
No ., TV
-V>A . ' ph .. CAlls
I"'r'\D ic..s.
@
Dqwn
, 1\0 J;fe.
<Y
(3'" 0, ..... )
ORlrl CE
Cl.oSES
The Iron Warrior, Friday, March 26,1993
Adam stanrl around the room. &x:I.ies were strewn every-
where as if D:arborn Hall 'WaS the scene of a great mUle. Still
chained to the maj:stic row, Adam had little left to do bUt
drink 'Well, there goes the thirteenth rup of ootch. I really
don't see the point of this, but I guess it does taste OK,"
Adam pondered \vistfuIly to himself.
Adam no longer knew where the keys to his handcuffs
were but he imagined they were with Sir and that led to the
next problem Who knew where Sir was? Adam had not
seen him for the last three hoUJS. It was no use waking up
Rolf or Sean, they were as dead to the world as if it actually
was a OOttle that took place. At least J.jz was not lying down
on the floorwith the rest of the mob. 'Sirl"
"Don't worry batch boy, I'm roming. Keep it down out
there for the next few minutes and I'll let you go."
Adam sighed and leaned back up against Mr. Moo, finish-
ing off the last of the OOtch in his rup. Adam reached to the
rubber udder and with his blistered hands drew another rup
of batch. He chained it slowly down his throot, it's sweetness
staying in his mouth, catching under his tongue. Adam's
head fellOOck against the rear right leg of Mr. Moo and he
began to snore.
"Oid<.'1
"All right, there you are then Free as a bird You did a fine
ph, not one romplaint As a matter of fact, rn put you one up
with me; anything you need, tell Rolf or Sean, it will be
dealt with."
'WelL I have this room mate, his name is Trevor and well,
he's a real pain in the butt"
'Sir, rome on OOck"
Adam looked. ' around. to see an unnamed blonde leaning
over the upstairs railing. By his rount, that was the fourth of
the evening. He aawled out from under the row and stood
up. Strange, he wasn't standing.
"Looks like you've had just about as much as everyone else.
Let me give you a hand, on the house."
Adam felt like he 'WaS flying, soaring above the room.
"Boom, Boom, Boom"
Adam feJ.l. Looking up he saw Sir with a off look on
his face. "Get to the back kid, now!"
Adam started aawling over people with the delicacy of a
steamroller. No one fully woke up, but there were several
screams and'shouls with at least an equal number of m0ar6
and wllispeIs as Adam picked his way Cl(l"ffi'; the buman.car-
pet.
Sir opened the door to stare into the face of more police than
he could shake his t-shirt at, as Adam turned the romer.
Adam kept aawling, this time along a linoleum floor clear of
Integration
bed. flipping his hair from in front of his face 'II\>ith a relaxed
motion.
'WelL heJlo I tllinkthanks are in order:'
, 0, not at au: But I must get you moving aIOOg. We've
overstayed our time in one spot and I'm sure I'm getting
missed. Here's a hand to get you up,"
Adam stood upand quickly felt like OOckdownagain
as a wave of nausea over him. but flippe:i on a
flashlight and him down II oodidoc. Adam
quickly lost sense of his direction but it was much longer
before he stopped attempting to regain it After about twenty
minutes, they stopped at a .ladder. Jorge climbed up and pro-
duced a key that opened a trap door at the top. 'Wen. here
you are boy, up you go," he said as hed:imbed back down.
"Thanks, ever so much Jrnge."
"Don't wony it was nothing, I'm sure the favour will be
IeJXrid before long."
Adam pushed up on thereiling and found himself entering
the 00sement of his residence. Before he could turn around to
thank Jorge again, the door cla;ed and he heard the d5tinct
sound of the ?IDcl being locked. Adam sighed and headed
up to his room. but then realized that just about everyone 'WaS
at the football game, so he trundled off to the field.
It was well into the second half before he found Mike and
Steve (Steve with his arm around liz) sitting near the top of
the bleachers.
"Adam, are you all right?" Mike cried out
"You should have seen the headlines:' J.jz added, ''IRar-
born Hall Party Adrift in a Sea ofTmpitude."
"It was really weird guys, just as the police came, some guy
named Rico, no Jorge, helped me out of the hall and took me
down into these turme1s. Hey Steve, come with me and let's
get some food"
Steve and Adam went down to the concessionary and
while in line, Adam was finally able to brooch the subj:ct 'So
what's with you and Liz?"
'Well I guess we got together last night"
'What do you mean? She was at the party with Sean.
Besides, just yesterday you were telling me slle wasn't your
type."
"yesterday, I was telling you she wasn't anyone's type, but I
guess I was wrong. She came back early from the party, say-
ingbow dull it was. As a matter of fact, the on! thing
she said about it 'WaS the .fa:t that you were them Sbange...
Anyways, she was bored, and I was bored, and weI!, you
know."
"No actually, I don't know."
"Fine, be that way."
"Bewhat'way?"
"I don't care"
'11ne."
B7
They got 00ck to their seals in an icy silence just in time to
see someone being taken off the field.
'Wow, what happened? Blindsidetadde?"
"Adam, you didn't really like having a room mate did
you?"
"No, what do you mean?"
'WelL Trev was cheering on the sidelines with the rest of
the squad, then all of a sudden this Trafalgar player smac;hed
into him. It was gruesome, you rould hear his collar bone
snap up here"
'What do you mean rollar bone, definitely his hip," Mike
countered
'1t doesn't really matter, Trev is incapacitated. Ute will be
helL he'll never leave the room now."
"Don't worry," I.iz romforted, "he'll proOObly go home"
"Notwith my luck he won't"
Adam rettuned his attention to the now rontinuing game
and saw Rolf smiling at him.
To many strange things were happening, too quickly.
Adam needed to talk to someone, even though I.iz and Steve
seemed attached, she seemed the best peISOI\ to go to. So
Adam went down four floors, and over about three quads to
liz's room. She wasn't there though.
"Nope, she's not here. I think she went out with Sean, or
was it Steve? It was someone anyways." The door was
cla;ed in his face.
"Great just great" Adam went wandering around, look-
ing for a place he could be alone and think about recent
evenls, Jorge, Sir, liz. Trevor, evaything. Finally Adam found
himself back down in the basement where he had emerged
from the tunnels and on a whim, he ched<ed the trap door. It
was J.ockei However, while squatting down. he saw into a
side room and noticed a pair of feet sticking out into the door-
way.
"Hey, is anybody in there?" Adam, called out while waIk-
ing into the room to check things out, silly he realized, of
course someone was in there.
Adam turned the comer to be assaulted and he screamed
out. Lyin.$ on the floor, dead or unronscious was Steve. On
an old wooden desk, with haJfher dothes iippe:f off was liz
and once again, Sean 'WaSwrapped around her.
MURDER IX)
people but fraught with other dangers. Stop-...--------------------------------------,
ping and wiping his hands off, Adam listened to
the voices coming from behind.
'We're roming in, don't try to stop us."
"listen officer, I assure you, we've only had a
few ales."
"I can see bodies on the floor."
"Officer, I always let my friends sleep over.
Who am I to tum away a friend"
Adam aawling, trying to get away from
the voices. He rould hear footstep; beginning to
swann through the house. Then, Adam was
flying again
"Hey, just relax. everything will be fire"
"Police. .. "
"Naw I'm not the Police, just Alex, but you
can call me Riro. We'll get you out of here before
the police know what's what"
They went down a flight of stairs and made a
couple of turns. That was all Adam rould tell
Then Rico was putting him down on a rot.
"You just sleep it off there. It'll be fire"
Adam woke up and it 'WaS dark, no not darl<:
but full of shadows. A torch flici<ered on a wall
acro;s from where he was lying. And there was
someone sitting in a dlair under the torch.
"HiAdam, how are you feeling now?"
''Tenible, just terrible. My head feels like it's
going to explode."
"Oh, nothing new there, let me assure YOtL
Very few actually do though you understand,
not really anything to worry about and such."
"Um, you are .. "
"Figured you'd forget The name's AIex. but
you can call me Jorge."
Alex stood up and walked. over towards the
I
I
BIG MEAL DEAL
EXPIRES 1 MAY, 1993
NOT VALID WITH ANY OTHER OFFER

I
IT'S TIME FOR DOMINO'S
886-9290
886-9290
I
HOURS I
ORDER ANY DOMINO'S PIZZA
WITH UP TO 3 TOPPINGS
FOR ONLY $10 + TAXES
Mon Wed .... 4 pm to 2 am I
I
EXPIRES 1 MAY, 1993
Thurs Sat .... 4 pm to 3 am I
:. NOTaLss:929AOFEA
Sun .... 4 pm to 1 am
2 MEDIUMS 2 LARGES
TWO 8 SLICE DOMINO'S PIZZAS
WITH 3 TOPPINGS ON EACH
FOR ONLY $11.99 + TAXES
II
EXPIRES 1 MAY, 1993
:: s NOTaLss_9290FEA
I TWO 12 SLICE DOMINO'S PIZZAS
I WITH FOUR TOPPINGS ON EACH
FOR ONLY $15.99 + TAXES
I I_ EXPIRES 1 MAY, 1993
I it NOT aLSS:929RO FE A
"" ('
--I
- .
1993 The Iron Warrior
Home
Runs and
Strike
Outs
S
ince, this is the last issue I decided to
do a "Chug and Spew" article on
some events of the past four months
and some recent sport happenings.
Home Run: The Waterloo Warnor hock-
ey team for making it the GAU National
Quarter FInals. The team lost to Guelph in
the deciding game. After losing to Laurier
in the first game of the previous round
they demolished them in the two final
games.
Shike Out Rickey Henderson, 'nuf said
K: Ben Johnson, 1. There is no worldwide
conspiracy against 'you Ben, you just got
caught with your hands in the cookie jar
once too often. 2 Johnson wants to play
professional soccer in Italy now that the
IAAF kicked him out of amateur athletics.
Someone please tell me when Europe ran
out of qualified soccer players, maybe 111
call up my buddies Marco and Jean Piexre
over in Milan and see if they need any
more players.
K: Rocket Ismail.
HR: Toronto Blue Jays.
HR: Bo Jackson and Dave Stieb for trying.
K: Toronto sports fans for the poor atten-
dance at the World Indoor Track and
Field Championships.
HR: Oiff Fletcher and Pat Burns for trans-
fonning the Make Believes back into the
Maple Leafs.
K: NHL, which is rumoured to be in
favour of dropping the traditional names
of the divisions and conferences. I know
realignment is necessary, but the names
should stay.
HR: Tampa Bay Lighting. In their first
season may finish with more points than
Hartforo.
HR: Montreal Expos, for putting together
a possible division winning team with a
payroll of only $18 million.
HR: The Canadian figure skating team.
Home runs I would like to see.
HR: All Canadian World Series
HR: Calgary Flames win the Stanley Cup.
HR: Rickey Henderson ends up in
Cincinnati. Marge Schott and Henderson
deserve each other.
HR: Scott Goodyear wins the Indy 500
and Paul Tracy wins the Molson Indy.
HR: I somehow get my hands on World
Cup Final tickets.
Waterloo, Friday, March 26, 1993 Section B
Baseball at a Cross Roads
T
he World Series Champions have
always been the best team in base-
ball. The champions have to play
consistently superior baseball throughout
the regular season and the playoffs. The
difference between a berth in the playoffs
and golf in Florida can be one loss at the
beginning of the season. No one can argue
that the champions do not deserve to be
champions or that they became "hot" at
tlle right time. That is why it is so hard for
teams to repeat as division winners, pen-
nant winners, and especially as World
Series winners. The last team to win back
to back championships was the New York
Yankees of '81 and '82. Contrast this to
hockey or basketball where champi-
onships usually come in bunches, a la
Islanders, Oilers, Penguins, Lakers, Celtics,
Pistons, and Bulls. The playoff system in
basketball, hockey, and football can be con-
sidered to reward mediocrity. Remember
the Minnesota North Stars against the
Pittsburgh Penguins in the Stanley Cup
F1nal two seasons ago. The World Series
champions can be considered true champi-
ons because they demonstrate excellence
throughout the regular season and play-
offs.
But, the all knowing demon-gods of
baseball, the owners, in their infinite wis-
dom have decided that to make more
money, they will have to expand the play-
offs, realign the divisions, and introduce
inter-league play. The logic behind this
move (their logic not mine) is that more
playoff games equals more money,
realigning the divisions will mean more
games against natural rivals, fed:and more
room for expansion at $100 million per new
franchise, that's a lot of monel)} and inter-
league play will attract more fans to games
that feature natural rivals who haven't had
the chance to play one another. This
means that we could see the Blue Jays play
the Expos during tlle regular season. The
divisional realignment would lead to three
divisions in each league. The six first place
teams plus the two best runner ups would
enter the playoffs. nus would mean one
extra round of playoffs.
The owners are obviously in favour of
the plan, they drafted. it, but the verdict is
about whether the fans are in favour of the
plan.[ttl: They are, acrording to a]XJll of 1,500
season ticket holders held by the awners.J It
seems that the owners are trying to fix
something that isn't broke. The problem
with baseball isn't the playoff format or the
divisional alignment, it's the owners. The
main reason for changing the existing for-
mat is to increase revenue The changes
are to take effect at roughly the same time
that the current television contract expires.
Owners are worried that they won't be
able to pay the huge contracts that they
have rewarded players with, so they are
looking for new sources of revenue. The
spiralling pay column of baseball athletes
is not the doing of baseball atluetes but of
the owners who lure away free agents
with huge contracts. A possible solution
may be a salary cap similar to the one in
the NBA. Another problem with baseball
is the huge difference in revenue between
the wealthy teams and the not-so-wealfuy
teams. It's doubtful that the rich teams
would agree to any kind of profit sharing
arrangement, but it may be necessary for
the future of baseball. There are other
problems with baseball that have resulted
from a desire to increase revenue, but
which have backfired. One of the most
obvious is the late start times of playoff
games. When the Blue Jays won the
World Series it was after midnight, and not
too many kids can stay up that late. The
changes are not the kind that could ruin
baseball, but they are the kind that will
make baseball lose some of it's mystique
and uniqueness. As far as I can see, the
proposed c h n g e ~ amount to nothing
more than the owners trying to raid the
cookie jar one more time.
The Engineering Basketball Tourney. 1st place went to Fuzzy Monkees, 2nd to Heineken and 3m to CCCP. Pilato by HII$I, Ri zvj