WHITE LIES AND PORKY PIES

THREE SURE WAYS

TO KNOW WHEN
YOUR’RE
NOT GETTING
THE WHOLE TRUTH

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© IntuiChic 2009

ABN 64 464 167 211

 White Lies and Porky Pies

Being the victim of half-truths or outright deception is a difficult experience and often one that shatters
our confidence and trust of others far into the future.

We all like to think that we are good judges of character and assessors of situations; however, many of
us ignore indicators of falsehood because we think too much and rationalise far beyond the point of
productive assessment. This means that we can find ourselves enmeshed in the negative that we
thought about avoiding because we wasted time and energy in not having identified the reality of the
situation through the most accurate and reliable measures.

Why don’t we trust our natural, in-built porky-pie detector? Usually because social conditioning means
we expect things to be complicated and based on fact. Trusting that we’re right is not considered
adequate. Let me give you an example of going with the facts instead of trusting intuitive indicators.

Thirteen years ago I rented an apartment in Dublin. On paper, it had everything I sought: location, rent,
size, even a private courtyard. But my gut didn’t like it. Something told me not to take the lease. I chose
to ignore the “something” and went ahead and rented the apartment anyway. Five months after I moved
in it began to rain, a steady non-stop rain that lasted for three weeks – not an uncommon occurrence in
Ireland. One evening while standing in my living room I noticed that my feet were getting wet. The rain
was coming up through the floor! Now that’s what I call a sinking feeling. A couple of weeks later, after
fruitless communication with the landlord, throwing out water-damaged belongings and a nasty chest
infection brought on by the damp, I moved out. Was my intuitive gut feeling warning me about the
impending flood, the fact that the building was defective and the damp-proofing had not been correctly
installed, or was it about the unpleasantness that lay ahead? I don’t know, but I do know that November
1996 was the last time I ignored my intuitive indicator.

Having taken that delightful trip down memory lane, let’s get ourselves back to the present because
that’s where all the magic happens. You live in the present and everything you need to know is
available in the present. Past experience is learned experience but the past never replicates itself
exactly. It’s impossible. As the Greek proverb goes “It is not possible to step twice into the same river”.

As time moves swiftly, seemingly more swiftly in modern life, it is reassuring to know that we can keep
up with this pace with ease and confidence. How? Because we have an inbuilt facility called intuition

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that will work for our best possible outcome every time. That’s its job. Your head will fake you out and
get you all kinds of trouble, indecision and procrastination. Your intuition, which comes from your heart,
is incapable of lying. Think of it as a loyal servant, its only agenda is to serve you and to make life as
easy and fun as possible.

Recall to mind a past experience where you were unhappy with an outcome. Maybe your business
partner, spouse, child, colleague or service provider was the source of a betrayal. Looking back now
what do you notice? Did you later say to yourself or to a friend that you “just knew something was
amiss”, that “you should have known it was all going south because...” Sometimes, after the event, we
can see very clearly the evidence and indicators that were working to protect us.

I encourage you to use the template at the end of this e-book to begin creating a reference and
evidence notebook so you can start gathering proof of how your intuitive indicators are working for you,
to support you and to serve you in a way that nothing else can.

Now let’s look at another interesting take on fibbing. What if you are the one stretching or ignoring the
truth, lying to yourself about something of importance? Why, oh why, would we ever lie to ourselves?
There are plenty of really good reasons. Children might lie to themselves to prolong the existence of
Santa Claus when others no longer believe, teenagers might lie to themselves to muster the confidence
to go to the school dance and adults might lie to themselves to generate the motivation and
commitment to meet the challenges of parenting, sticking to a fitness and weight-loss program, or to
keep forging forward with a business venture or the path up the corporate ladder. These “lies” are
based on beliefs that we choose to hold true for ourselves in order to serve and support ourselves. For
example, it might not be fact that I excel in the face of every great challenge, yet I choose to believe
that the best of me comes out in the face of a challenge. This does not bend the truth; I am simply
creating a positive frame work from which I can authentically relate to my world.

In essence, if you are going to lie to yourself, make it a really good one. If you don’t believe you are the
most successful person on the block, tell yourself that you are and then find the evidence of that by
praising and acknowledging your expressions of inner and outer success. You’ll find that this very
quickly moves from a “lie” to an empowering belief, and by doing so you are creating a belief that
serves, supports, nurtures and challenges you. Really go for it, conspire to inspire yourself and others!

Try this one for a week and see how it makes you feel and what you notice happening around you,
“Because I give my best in honesty, I receive the best in honesty, it’s all so easy”.

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Why not create a few new beliefs for yourself now? Here’s one to start you off: “I notice my intuitive
responses more and more easily every day, they keep my life authentic”.

The other ways we can lie to ourselves have negative implications and outcomes. As the Irish would
say “you’re codding yourself!” I’m not sure what that expression means exactly, maybe it comes from
the fact that when you order a battered cod at some local Irish fish and chip shops, there is more batter
than cod and so you bite in with anticipation only to be left feeling duped. Mr Padhraig O’Houlihan the
friendly local chipper, was codding you, there’s no cod in that cod! It’s on the menu so that means there
must be cod in it, right? And even though you’ve been there before and you should know from
experience, you talk yourself into believing it will be different this time. When you believe your own lie,
you’ll find in the outcome that there is no substance to it. You’ve been codding yourself and paying for
the pleasure.

We’ve explored ways in which we might encounter lies and the different types of
lies – now it’s time to get to the heart of the matter, remembering that your intuitive
indicators come from the heart.

How do we know when we’re receiving the cheap and nasty, the low vibe lingo, the
cheap shiny suit version of communication?

How much time might I spend rectifying a situation gone sour? A situation that could have been
avoided had I listened to my intuition.

Not every lie will present in a top hat, waving about a bottle of snake oil. We need greater awareness
and more reliable indicators to recognise even the most subtly disguised negative possibilities.
Fortunately, whatever the circumstances, there are three clear and reliable indicators that will alert you
when things are not what they seem.

1. Negative Gut Reaction

If you are feeling like something’s off, it most likely is. Unless you’ve been joyriding the elevator at
lunchtime that lurching feeling in your stomach is telling you far more than your logical mind is allowing
you to recognise.

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At first it may be subtle, and then the more you ignore it you start to feel queasy or like there’s a ball of
goo stuck right there in your middle. You start to do something else, something to take your mind off the
confusion or to distract yourself from the fact that you need to make a choice or have made a choice
that you can’t seem to qualify. You notice that your lunch has lost its flavour; the latest YouTube hilarity
isn’t all that funny and everywhere you go you find yourself re-visiting the issue. Why? Because part of
you doesn’t believe it. Which part? Your in-built lie detector. Your intuition.

Whatever the signal or sensation, take the time to stop and ask the question “What is this really about?”
It takes less than two seconds to get a clear and accurate response. Anything longer and you’ve gone
back to the peanut on the top of your shoulders for further inconclusive analysis.

How do you know what question to ask yourself? Ask a simple yes or no question. For example, is this
choice good for me? A negative gut feeling means no. The response is instantaneous and needs no
thought. To give yourself a reference, recall a time when you made a tough decision that you were
putting off and then once you did you felt so much lighter? That’s what you’re looking for; that sense of
a weight being lifted, of the knot or ill feeling going away.

Often this feeling will be less perceptible than the big ones you’ve experienced in the past, but as you
acknowledge the process and become more aware of it, you will recognise even the most subtle
indicators of positive and negative. This progress can take very little time. Acknowledgement and
awareness will fire up your indicators and set them clearly in place in a matter of hours or days. Now,
let me reveal the absolute clincher to this - commit to the response you get. Take the advice you have
given yourself and avoid creating greater confusion.

2. Hesitation

Another way to know when something is not adding up is when you hesitate.
Maybe “The Clash” were on to something when they said “Should I stay or
should I go?” Should is the language or fear. A better question, of course not
necessarily better lyrics, would have been, “What’s off here and why am I
doubting myself?”

Where there is doubt around the integrity of a situation, or how positively it will affect you, hesitation will
be there. You will find yourself saying things like “should I or shouldn’t I”, “I’m not entirely convinced” or
“I started off well and then ‘things’ kept getting in the way of completion”.

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Hesitation and procrastination come from the same source – fear – which is located somewhere in the
deep landscape of ‘Shouldland’. In this instance, when we feel fear it is because we aren’t clear on the
motivation, the process or the outcome of a situation. Therefore, if everything is allegedly out on the
table for us to see and we are still experiencing hesitation, this indicates that what is on offer is either
not in alignment with our values or there is an unknown that needs to be explored. Either way, it is an
excellent investment of your time to investigate further before making a decision.

Let’s take another look at this from a different angle. When there is hesitation it is because of a lack of
commitment. When we are committed to something it is because it reflects our values, our values being
things that are important to us and are non-negotiable, for example love, integrity, gratitude, health. If
something does not support our non-negotiable values how long can we remain committed to it?

Hesitation is a very clear indication of misalignment with your core values and who you are as a person,
and therefore something that you most likely don’t want to be involved with.

I’m curious to know, what’s out of integrity for you that has manifested in hesitation and reluctance?
What did you do about it? What would you do now, knowing what you do about the implication of
hesitation?

3. Low Energy

This is a deal breaker. When you notice yourself becoming irritable, grumpy, tired or impatient with the
object, presenting situation or person in question, it’s a sure thing that all is not as it seems.

It could be that you are reviewing a sound proposal and yet you can’t see yourself engaged happily in
it, or maybe you are thinking clearly, moving toward your goals and yet the new opportunity isn’t getting
you excited. Instead you are bugged by it. Why? Always ask “What’s this really about?” Then pause to
receive the answer.

How do you receive the answer? Your thoughts will go to the contrasting subject, to the thing that you
want to do or that you do believe in. When there is an aspect of a situation that you don’t like or believe
in, your mind will immediately go there to highlight it for you, asking you, begging you to re-consider.

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I once knew a girl who worked in a large office, for a wonderful firm at a great salary. Every day she
would give it her all, constantly striving to do better and to learn more. She was very grateful for
everything this job gave her and everything the salary provided for her, yet she was losing her spark,
her energy and enthusiasm dwindled and it began to show in her work. When she asked herself the
honest questions she found that she wasn’t at all happy in that job, doing that type of work, fulfilling the
ambitions that she was supposed to have there. She realised that just because she was good at it
didn’t mean that she was fulfilled by it. She made the choice to change jobs, to do something she loved
and something she believed in and her energy returned.

If someone asks you to do something, if they make you an offer, or you make choices that bring you to
realise that your energy is low, reluctant or just plain cranky (not to mention leaving marks in the carpet
from dragging your heels), then it’s time to accept that someone may be stretching the truth.

With low energy things are as they seem, negative energy does equal negative action and vice versa.

Your intuitive self, your intuitive intelligence, constantly sends you clear messages when a review is
required and the integrity of a situation is compromised.

That is a fact. The truth is that it is immensely beneficial to use it.

Let’s play a little game of “State the Obvious” - asking a person a direct question to get to the truth is
obviously a great way to go. After you’ve done that if your intuition indicates that you have the whole
honest picture and you are clear on how to proceed, by all means crack open the champagne! If not,
ask yourself why not. Don’t continue to ignore the most reliable fib detector known to man, it will persist
until it has done the job, it is your faithful servant. You can count on that.

Sensory Sleuthing

So now it’s your turn. Try it out. Put it to the test.

Ask someone you know to tell you three pieces of information about themselves or their life that you
don’t know. One of the things your “Agent Honesty” tells you should be untrue. Your job is to identify
the false information, using only your sense about it, not what you would imagine or conclude to be the
logical answer. Maybe they really did canoe down the Grand Canyon before you met them.

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 We’d love to hear from you!
Email us your Sensory Sleuthing Stories at
www.intuichic.com

Intuition - The Spirit of Success!

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 Super Sensory Evidence Sheet

Date:
Situation:
Intuitive Indicator: Hunch Gut feeling Hesitation Other
Irritation Uneasiness Internal voice

Action taken:

Outcome:

Most valuable learning:

Date:
Situation:
Intuitive Indicator: Hunch Gut feeling Hesitation Other
Irritation Uneasiness Internal voice

Action taken:

Outcome:

Most valuable learning:

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