This assignment was really difficult for me to outline, write and revised.

My topic was one of the complicated issues: homosexuality, abortion, women role, etc. I have seen some articles about Pope Francis, and at that time my professor suggested me it be great to choose topic about his interview. Thats how I became to select my topic. I wrote about my opinion about being Catholics with my experience. Also, I mentioned my transgendered friend whom I met in middle school. One of my strengths giving explicit textual examples is that my paper is easy for readers to read. I think the paper should not be hard to read. In this view, my paper is suitable for anyone to enjoy my paper without difficulty. The second strength is connected with whole paper. My moms teaching, my friend, my faith in my life are closely attached each other in my paper. It would help readers to catch the point of my paper. On the contrary, my weakness is that I did not give diverse explicit textual examples. I got comments from Joshua and Mahadaz. Their comments were really helpful to see my paper objectively. Especially Joshuas comment about Entering the conversation assisted me to revise my paper. He told me some parts would sound like gay people have diseases although he understood that was not my intention. For example, my explanation about the bible expression It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. According to his comments, I added more my personal experience about my transgendered friend so as to describe my position about this bible expression. I deleted two sentences As who need a doctor is the sick, who extremely needs a Jesus is the alienated. Turning back against them would be the cruel and awful punishment. This was because I felt it could sound like gay, divorced and different kinds of people are the sick. Instead of them, I tried to emphasize love, forgiveness and mercy based on my personal experience. Also, he pointed the cohesion between with Entering the conversation and conclusion. Also, my professor agreed with his comment. It encouraged me to check my paper s coherence and cohesion. To be connected with each part of paper, I realized the necessity to complement Entering the conversation part. In my rough draft, it seemed like there is a jump of logic between Entering the conversation and Conclusion part. To complement this problem, I reminded my topic of my paper: love, forgiveness and mercy. Also, he asked me to connect the last part of my paper with my faith in Introduction part. The comments I got from him about those two parts were really beneficial for me to revise my paper. However, there is one comment I did not chose. That is his comment about the sentence Pope Francis is not teaching different thing against the church. He thought it is our job to see them morally grey and accept others. My paper deals with the controversy about that issue. I already decided the side to think Pope Francis does not violate the teaching of Church and support him. Therefore, I regarded him as one of different sides of people who have opposite opinions against mine. I made efforts to show my ideas about the real love, forgiveness and mercy. I know I am still young to discuss these kinds of complicated issues. There remain lots of things I have to learn in the life. However I hope you feel my mind in my paper. I do not want to get anyone hurt. I just want to write about my personal experience with my dear friend.