Muslim Fellowship Week 4: HOW TO (FINALLY) CHANGE

Indeed, God will not change the condition of a people, until they change it themselves (with their own souls)
(Quran 13:11)

There are probably a lot of things we dislike about ourselves However, most of us live with the mindset that we have always been and will always be like that Others believe they can change, but spent their time waiting for a miraculous lifechanging event rather than attempting themselves WHY ARE WE SO SCARED OF CHANGE? There are 3 main reasons: Fear of the unknown: if we change who we are we dont know how other people will react Fear of failure: remembering past events in which we failed makes us scared of trying again Lack of validation to change: others do it as well, its such a minor thing, Im still young WHAT YOU NEED TO REALISE Most people react negatively to change because they feel threatened you are surpassing or leaving them- rather than because the change is bad in itself. It is only a matter of time before they adapt and get used to it You have to fail a million times before you succeed If everyone remained the same person as society/their friendship group/family sculpted them, then poverty war and famine would remain forever. You need to change in order to be a unique individual who brings new ideas to the world

 Change is like evolution in Pokemon. The older you get, the harder it is to achieve. Right now you are a teenager so it is considered ok to experiment with your identity
ONE THING WE ALL NEED TO CHANGE IS... Arrogance! When you are arrogant, you begin to live in a fantasy/deluded world (Im always right) rather than the true reality (Im sometimes right and wrong) As a result, you are prevented from appreciating new or alternative views which are POSSIBLY BETTER THAN YOUR OWN Strangely enough, arrogance is also the main thing which stops us from changing But it is important to get over this pride/stubborness and ACTIVELY DWELL on our weaknesses/flaws so we can CHANGE and IMPROVE Imam Ali (a) once said: Im surprised about the person who is arrogant. At the beginning he was unclean semen and at the end he will be a decomposed body HOW DO I CHANGE ACTIVELY DWELL on your life; in the shower, or before bed, do a quick 2 minute replay of your day. Pause at bits where you made choices you didnt like and re -imagine what you would have done again Just how we write down our homework/assignment goals, you can also keep a book with selfimprovement goals (sounds lame, but a good way of keeping progress) Change a little bit everyday rather than trying to make a massive jump Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) once said: The most beloved actions to God are those performed consistently, even if they are few (Sahih Bukhari) Choose a person you admire for their qualities and for one day think and act like they would (a religious figure, cartoon character, friend). Alternatively, think of someone whose opinion you highly value and imagine they are constantly watching you (an important historical figure, your mom) Just like how social pressures can influence you to change NEGATIVELY, you can also MANIPULATE social pressures to help you change POSITIVELY e.g. if you tell your friend about how you saw a video on How to Stop Showing Off they will expect you t o live up to it, creating a positive pressure for you stop showing off

 CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) once said A person is likely to follow the faith of his friend, so look whom you befriend (reported by Abu Dawood and Tirmidhee). Faith isnt just religion but also beliefs, values, behaviour etc. Additionally, expose yourself to a variety of people. When you restrict yourself to a single group of people, you only ever follow a single stream of thought and a single set of norms. If you know multiple groups of people, you appreciate multiple opinions and norms. From this you can choose the best to follow