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Love: Against All Odes


Collen M Chitsunge

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My heart cries for you. Fate. You exhale I exhale. The power of love. * Carry my heart. Doing life - on you. Emotions nightmare. My addiction. What about the kiss? Lasso-ed emotions. Strength of pain. Cant let go Better be strong. * Us. Strength to answer. A matter of the heart. * Around the bend. Inside out. Too deep. I love you too. Never the same. I try. Strange love. Hearts of stone. Rock bottom. Twenty-two. Where eyes cant see. When we met fate. Hide to hide. Missing the apples. Damned. I appreciate. Too damn good. Figure out the love. Loves clock Why you? Who knew? And yet I hold on Believe Through thick and thicker Thorns Your eyes In my life* Our life* The mystery poem* Oh dear! * Only human* You make me feel* 21 st February 2003* Again and again and again

MY HEART CRIES FOR YOU My hearts hands are tied, my souls are free My heart runs free like an untamed stallion Through the tropical forests and insular valleys Of fantasy, ignited by these vivid visions of you Which have, of late, haunted my soul. Even paint cant erase these few memories That together, you and I have shared Memories greater than the glances of our eyes, At each other, the days before we spoke Our eyes wrote books, only loves disciples could interpret. Your honesty is surely the flowers blossom The flower I unconsciously picked The flower that made my nerves numb My heart runs free, tame it I cant. My hands are totally paralyzed By this fate, that today decides destiny My love overpowers my sense, my mind In its quest for you, in its request for your heart I try to fight, with all my might. I reminisce of your vivid eyes, That pierce through mine in their deep soul searching Your mouth soft mouth that utters each honey coated word Perfectly, my ears cant hear my heart does I hate the day I met you my heart is proud we met To whom shall I give my ears? Today I give them to my heart. I surrender my heart to you, as you have done for me My emotions, I lay in fates hands For, my affection for you multiplies, Ive totally lost control Save my soul please save my soul. FATE But why, Why am I so feeble, to the wind that blows? Why do your eyes cast such bright rays, Which totally blind my sight? Why does the smell of your body, weaken my own? But why, Why does, just sitting next to you Give my soul such satisfaction, such gratitude? Why is talking to you so easy, My heart just bares, for you to see? But why,

Why does your smile affect me so much, To the point, I fall victim to shyness? Why does my blood rush through my veins At such speed, when I spot you? But why, Why do I loose my heart to you, And also yours to me, when we are together? Why does this feel so natural, I feel so powerless in your presence? But why, Why does your image have such effect on me? Why do I yearn for the next moment with you? Why is it so hard to say goodbye everyday? Why do I feel such affection for you? But why, do I love you so much?

YOU EXHALE, I EXHALE The inferno engulfs us even as we sit In flesh we are there, our minds are miles away Your magnet strongly pulls mine closer The silence overcomes us as my soul strays into yours Still side by side we sit I look at you - you look at me A billion stories, our eyes tell I strongly through my nostrils breathe love I take another breath; I turn to look at you You turn too, you smile, I smile back. I pull you closer, surround you with my arms Yours also cling to me, belt tight Im totally lost, in this New World Overcome by this mighty passion That has suddenly taken control over us My feet tremble, my arms are numb Our lips touch, pour fuel over this fire This hunger we have, this thirst I feel Cant even be quenched, I try to fight Not a weapon do I have, neither do you. Our tongues battle, to conquer this war My knees melt - my whole body shivers I feel you tremble too You exhale I exhale Again you exhale again I exhale This is too powerful - passion swallows us

My heart disappears together with yours Totally lost in this forest, jungle of love I cling to you, pull you closer I take another sip.

THE POWER OF LOVE ***** My pulse racing, my breathe taken Something in my heart says This isnt right, causing me to worry, Day and night. For I knew you were something else, Not just nothing in my eyes. When I first saw you I first felt it then. I felt it every time we passed each other For then our eyes were stronger Than any word could express Stronger to make us feel closer. I see you now in a new light And this, I hope, is not short sight I longed for the widening of your mouth A sure sign of a smile Every time I saw you Your image was stuck in my mind Vivid, like a red rose among thorns Pluck you out I couldnt. And how much I longed to hear your voice Look deeper into the eyes that day and day Made my heart skip Draw out, what caused my heart to. But then my heart was tight and strong For it belonged to someone and still does But I thought of you and wondered Ever if it was real or meant to be. Wondered ever if I would talk to you If I was to, why, how, where, when? Ever if I would get you out of my minds sight Ever if you even felt the same way.

I blamed myself for thy natural feelings for you I have struggled with myself for so long For how long is it to be like this For, every time I see you, I feel it? Now that weve talked Lord forgive me I cant help it Neither can I take it Why do I feel the way I do? The power of love it is! CARRY MY HEART The electricity makes me tremble My feet are totally swept away. My heart melted into yours So strongly, my breath almost came to a halt As my lips and yours locked and sealed The unexplainable unimaginable love Which your heart has ignited in me I cant erase you from my mind Its impossible, I dont have the courage to attempt The inferno burns furiously Inside my heart when I look into your eyes Feeling it just isnt enough I wish to tell you, to whisper it into your ear For as long as I can, until the day I die How much Ive longed for you How much love lies under the ground of my heart? My hunger grows, by day, by night, To hold you in my arms and squeeze you Closer to me until glued, we are. Never had I thought this day would visit us. The day we would lock the world out Be in a world of our own, Learn more of each other, Find out, we have this much in common, Discover the depth of our feelings for each other. How natural I feel talking to you, Take you through the valleys of conversation Listen to the melody of your laughter. I love to see you happy, I love your openness. This journey we have started, I wish to take you all the way Your hand, I cant let go

The attraction I cant erase But why, I also have to ask - why is it like this? To the limit, my mind cant find answer. I know you belong and also I belong But our hearts, to each other belong, Today, tomorrow and forever Its so natural and overwhelmingly confusing But just because its love, and its right You carry my heart and yours, naturally Ill carry Until the day I die. DOING LIFE ON YOU The gavel slams hard As silence overshadows the courtroom In which my soul has sentenced me To life, in love with you. My emotions are chained, and whats that? Im also leg-ironed, by those eyes, Which suck all the love out of me I never thought Id be this weak to anyone Strength, I thought belonged to me. The crime I committed, was gaze into your eyes And murder all my other emotions. My felony was talking to you Im guilty of my crime, Im ready to do time. The stains you tainted on my soul, you taint on my soul. I stretch the tendons of my mind as I ponder. Why does it have to be you, Whom I once in my life, fall in love with? Why did it have to be you that kidnapped my heart, And squeezed emotion out of my soul? Why at such a time in my life, Do revelations materialize, which torture my mortal? I ponder, as I sit in my cell, as I listen to times breath As time listens to my own. If it were up to me, Id twist times arm backwards, Id ride the sun back to the east And un-brew this fermenting yeast. But I cant my soul evolves - eclipses my life. I watch the fetters on my hands, my legs I close my eyes tears dont give a damn. If only it was up to me, things wouldnt be the same. My sight is blurred, your image forces itself into my mind. In spirit Im with you, in flesh Im not. Tomorrow is my forever.

EMOTIONS NIGHTMARE Being this deep, in love is one thing, But having nothing to do about it, is like stepping on the sun Being offered food whilst your mouth and hands are strapped. A time bomb, waiting patiently to explode. Imaginations grow into mountains, wishes shoot to the moon Under the sea, the mind dives, visualizing the beauty of the corals Like the ambitious wind, licking, even, under the stones. Brick after brick, the builder lays, as the wall climbs Like the sun wishing to be the moon The heart does back-flips as it drowns in this vicious sea The water chokes, the stomach fills. Before, realitys lightening bolts you, From this beautiful nightmare called love. MY ADDICTION Like a chain smoker, I light yet another. The smoke crawls through every crevasse, Every crack on my mind. Im an addict of you, of your emotions. Therapy cant help, the narcotic seeps My head goes drowsy, as I pull yet another, Puff of smoke, which secludes my mind. As I light one with the other, The nicotine encircles, as the dizziness disappears, I close my eyes, suck another puff And blow the smoke far into the sky As refreshment torments my mind, Tears my soul, with the satisfaction Only you can stand up to.

WHAT ABOUT THE KISS? Under the blazing banner of love The kiss walks tall, hands in pockets And smiles at me, and smile at you. Of all the emotions we have shared The kiss stands on the apogee Holding in hand, its eternal flame, For it has conquered all other emotional gestures, Which have, like evaporation and precipitation Exchanged hands between you and me. It is the one whose hand reached out and

Flipped on the switch, to ignite these deep emotions we share. Under the spell, our tongues are entwined In this vigorous fight which always ends in a stalemate In this feud which none of us wishes to back from, As each day the cross-pollination intensifies And multiplies the time the war takes. Before, struck we are, back to reality By the strength of the kiss. LASSOed EMOTIONS As day passes baton to day, and the fury rages on In this marathon of life. I try hard to restrain my vicious mastard consuming canines, As I gaze into the abyss of this unpredictable future, But they keep raging on. My emotions keep erecting the wall. Of cause, under the lasso, I have put them And continuously I try to restrain. To kill them, I would, but I cant dare. This notion, Ive maintained, but now it has turned vein, As in my eyes I see your eyes, in my mind I think your mind. I wonder if you have the key to stop this epidemic Which has thus, engulfed us. I ponder on you daily, Im stricken agog, its not in my control. Memories furnish this house of thoughts Ive built with you As daily I countdown the when will I see you agains. As days marry and divorce each other As time continues to climb this mountain called future The brush paints memories of us, memories to create. As imagination runs without brakes As notions skydive from perilous heights. I stare, I gasp. STRENGTH OF PAIN The pain is immense How deep, only the pain knows. Like a dagger being driven through the chest of a vampire. Like being stabbed by a knife, Hidden behind a cloth, by your own hand. You battle intensely with the waterfalls of your eyes But all this is to no avail. You have to explode, let go the hurricane, But the drizzle pours, as I cant erase those eyes from my eyes.

And vividly I can feel the pain. I stare into the darkness of my thoughts But cant find notion to leave you, Cant find the book entitled letting go. And I fear - why do I feel such depths for you? I cant let go. Today my eyes loosened for you Sculpting a new image in this art. Im hurt, you strived to keep it from me There is not any other sharper knife in this closet, Im hurt, to not know how you feel for me. Being told is a relief. I wish to inject into you, the courage, To be strong to tell. I wish you pumped into me the zest To stop this burning flame we have lit. For even the flame we have lit Cant brighten the darkness in my thoughts So that I see the road to stopping this. But then, I wish it never ends, for I cant let go you Ive already carried the burden Ive already accepted to carry your heart.

CANT LET GO BETTER BE STRONG ***** Have you ever felt this way? How painful it is to love someone, And not find courage to let that person know how you feel. Feeling it so strong inside, you feel like crying. You are one kind of friend I can sit on a porch and swing with, never saying a word, Then walk away, feeling like it was the best conversation Ive ever had. The kind of friendship I wouldnt want to destroy, Nor my heart would want to feel flow away painfully. Lets hold our friendship right. Not spoil our lives or our future. Let us be the best we have been, the best we are and the best We can ever be. I wouldnt want to feel so wrong, so guilty That Ill regret the day I met you. Im happy as I am, for I appreciate the importance Of you having touched a part of my life as a friend. The friendship we have realized holds so strong, so much. The friendship we cant hold onto forever Neither can we let go. I belong where Im meant to belong,

You belong where you are meant to belong. It was meant to be. My heart wishes it to be forever. Natures way it is, that the hands of time cant be turned back. My mind cries, my heart pains of the day That gave me a feeling that cuts like a knife So painful I cant hold onto it forever So painful I cant let go. I better be strong. There are moments when I feel I want to pick you up From this dream, we are in, and tell you for real That we better be strong. Every time we are to close the door on reality Its going to come in through the window. Lets face it, heal it and it will bless us. The found, grown friendship we cant let go So strong and nice it is, like red wine. It only gets better and stronger. It starts with a smile and grows with laughter. For I knew from your first smile that you were going to make me laugh. The laughter that is the bright sun that Drives the winter from my face. Now my heart cant help it But to know you forever, till the day I die. I cant help smiling whenever I think of you For it only takes me a smile to make a dark day For me, seem bright and be bright. You make me feel love is so strong and powerful, I have to be stronger. Lets keep our friendship, but not let it kick us. Lets play it right the way all of us will want it And appreciate it. If it doesnt destroy us, it makes us stronger. Let there be no tear but peace, love and happiness. Cant let go better be strong. US As your heart and mine put palm to drum And beat to the tune of love, I feel the strength rising, in this battle of emotions To be strong, or not to be. I sense Im fighting the losing battle As the number of days Ive known you grows This tree we have planted grows also. Sudden fear of the future, and what it has on palm, grips me

But the terror of loosing you haunts my house of thoughts. Feeling yours and my heart throb together As I hold you tight makes me drop on my knees And beg forever for mercy. As my feelings for you know nothing else, but to grow. The strength of my love for you out-muscles the Strength of my sense to fight this As Im left idle and hopeless, of any future without you. Knowing that you also feel it, but cant say Shoots my heart into the sky, Gives my heart eternal rests, in this land we have discovered. Enough, is what I seem not to get, As the zeal grows, as your eyes tarnish My minds image, and fuel this vehicle of feeling, As we drown into this ocean and helplessly cant let go I feel you pull me to you I feel sudden forces overpower my mortal Throw me to the ground, and even though I cry I feel no hate towards you, neither do I feel guilt in this. I feel you flow in my veins as no day goes by Without any slight thought of you whatsoever Whether you are safe, whether Ill see you again. The worst thing is that I cant let go. Better be strong too, For us. STRENGTH TO ANSWER Where is the strength? If it were a war, and we were the soldiers Wed say our guns were ammunition-less Yet, to shoot we try. If it were a book were reading, Wed say the vital page was torn out and missing Yet the storys bottomline, we try to grasp. I lost the war, that day I saw you again The day I turned and came back to you. I lost sensibilitys dignity then, as I clutched onto loves dignity. Now in the middle of the jungle Im lost As I try to fight the reality that comes in through the window As I deny realitys existence, As my love corroded mind shuts its eyes to this. Im a coward, when it comes to you Where is the strength? As clouds of storms, cover my life, Hailstones of love pelt me mercilessly.

Because I cant back off, I try to defy reason. I cant help but tell you how I feel, Even as I hold you, I stop short of spilling To you, the craziness you instill into me. As cupping them is all I forever want to do, With the emphasis of your hands too. Days are short, when Im with you, For each day I walk away with grumbling heart, Rehearsing the speeches of an arid bound plant at drought time. Memories of the time we spend, escort me into the wee hours Like a stubborn shadow under the iron-fisted rule of the light, As everyday after, I again have to live my other life. Where will this end? - Alone I sit and ask my mind. Lord forgive me, Im only too human. Im scared of losing you, Im scared of not losing you But still I ask, Where is the strength to stop this?

A MATTER OF THE HEART ***** Never regret the day you met me Lament the days you never knew me Pray for more days to live knowing me Only if and when you know how to ride Along this journey weve started. My heart feels more than your eyes can see Knows more than your mind can understand. The love is like a violin, the music may Stop now and then, but the strings remain forever. The feeling is not like a line drawn on water It exists more, holds stronger, to last forever. Happiness is what I am inside The inside, that holds a part of you. As a well spent day brings happy sleep So do I, whenever I watch the sun go down with you. A life well spent brings happy death If we ever want to spent it together Let us spend it well and well forever Giving up, as it is doesnt mean one is weak It only means that one is strong, Strong enough to let go, some do believe. I believe, for one to give up is for one to be strong So can I, can we, why? Its a matter of the heart.


AROUND THE BEND Im not even fighting this. Just the mere thought of it is not even in the nursery of my mind, As I consciously walk through this open door Which I didnt even see coming, Its keys, which I intentionally did not pick up, Its existence I prolifically didnt prophecy, But one day, woke up, to find at my feet. It was born out of no preconception. Had it been, reluctant Id have been. Im not even fighting this. The blood in the veins of my might, have been totally drained, The skin has been mercilessly peeled off, my love for you Has been bared, only for you to see and cover I didnt visualize this one coming Neither can I visualize it, into the horizon, disappearing. I pray for more days, beg for, even, nights With you, and without blame Life can be lived once, love cant also ask for more.

INSIDE OUT So strong, yet so wrong But our emotions throng, to compose this song Whose tunes origins, up to now, I cant trace. Its like the pages of my life are being flipped Open by a gale, my heart entangled within the tide. Each time I set my eyes on you Refined love oozes from my soul, Boundlessly travelling into our atmosphere As your beautiful heart, I can only see Your beautiful eyes, stars to my dark nights. That I love you, can only be proven as a lie There is more to it, to the way my heart feels for you. You are the clouds that bring rain to the land of my soul You are the air that every soul dies for. Since the day I let you walk in through my door, Your heart wont let my heart find sleep For, thoughts of you keep it awake Sometimes just seeing you makes my day, Fills my empty cup, which to you, up high I hold Seeing you smile, boils the pot of my emotions I wish to cling to you, glue to you as we hug The gratification is just too much,

Like a hot knife piercing through butter Love cuts through our weak hearts. I never knew that the sea of love was this deep. You never know until you dive in and drown. I wish we could fly, away into eternity With your heart clamped to mine.

TOO DEEP Would your heart yearn for mine, And uncontrollably weep, if you lost me? Would you rue that day until you die, The day I shut the door behind me, and throw away the key? Would you feel the knife stab right in the middle of your heart, If suddenly I inform you That its over and no more? Would you forget those days we spent In each others arms, telepathically communicating? Would you erase from your memories, the softness, Of my lips against your body, and wish to live another day? Would you feel the emptiness, the void of life, If Im supernaturally, erased from your mind? Would your nostrils miss the scent of my body, Your eyes miss my sight, And your mouth, miss my mouth, And its tender caresses, no-matter how far away I go? Would you feel sudden winter, If the warmth of my body on yours, was guaranteed no more? Would you be able to suddenly erase the attraction, And feel it no more, when Im by your side? Would you feel blood, seize its trips to your heart, If your ear could no longer be placed on my chest, And the melody of my heartbeat to you was suddenly inaudible? Would you suddenly feel like an abandoned nestling, When the mother bird is suddenly hit by a stone, And with mouth wide open the nestling patiently Waits for a meal? Would you witness the drought of not having me in your life And suddenly be able to live with it? Would the wound heal and the scar disappear, From loves flesh if today we draw the line? Was that to happen to me, My heart would be submerged in an eternal ocean of tears, And my spirit would be plucked out of my soul, Because, I love you.

I LOVE YOU TOO. The words still echo in my mind Like drumbeats from a distance at midnight. I feel the strength drain from my body, I feel myself about to explode, As your vivid voice strikes my ears like lightning. I feel like Id almost cry. Stuck I am in this minute emotional frame Life has never been the same, Since the day I asked U your name I was forced to play loves game By my heart which doesnt give a damn. Life even took another turn, The day your lips soothed my ears And told me you loved me. I feel your tongue unequivocally, Describe the emotion, And elate the satiation in my heart As you teach me how to kiss. Now my thoughts cant even think proper Not to think of you, is improper. Outside it might not seem so, Inside I hunger for you with a passion. Please tell me again that you love me. NEVER IS THE SAME Life probably never is the same When our hearts suddenly claim, What they reverie, is rightfully theirs. Even though sometimes we dont give a damn, And try harder not to remember the name Of the heart thief, which echoes now and now. As sure as the sun will always shine tomorrow, Its hard to erect the wall, to build the fortress. You look behind you look ahead, Life probably never is the same. This new road upon which you walk Has been made for you. What else are you expected to do, When the heart grabs and retains the heart, Whose softness it maintains. The hole in your heart matures into a gorge You try to fill it with sand, but Life probably never is the same.

You wonder who has planted this type of tree You panic at the type of heart, which now possess you, But in this hypnosis you listen to your heart. Your heart whispers you draw closer to listen You try to raise a point, your heart hushes you. Your eyes try to visualize what your hearts pointing at Its another souls heart Life probably never is the same. I TRY Like a madman roaming the streets Spirits unknown, guiding the chariots of his mind. Like a vagrant searching aimlessly in every trash bin, My soul seeks for you. Just as spilt water anywhere, always finds its way to the river Nomatter how hard I try, I always stray into the valley of thoughts of you. As the wind, violently perusing between the trees Underneath the rocks, and boulders, for nothing no one knows. Just as the sun runs each day from the east to the west In pursuit of the moon So that they make love or in our own words eclipse, Nomatter how hard I try, I always stray into the valley of thoughts of you. I stare hard into this crystal ball called life I try to whisper the magic words, To cast a spell on my emotions, so that they wont stray Into your green pastures, to which I, the starving cow Stare with weak knees, but Nomatter how hard I try, I always stray into the valley of thoughts of you. STRANGE LOVE With the speed only familiar to lightnings striking, Conscience quickly tucks its tail between its legs And simultaneously befriends velocity. As love raises its dagger and stabs reason in the chest, Agog you and I we watch, spellbound as buck At the pythons glittering colors. Like a man falling from the sky, I flap hard but my arms gather no wind,

As the dagger is raised and it stabs, and again it stabs This taboo in no-mans land As yours and my pen, drag the next sentence To the next sentence in this book of love. Like an aroused nun fighting Against the will of her fleshs demands, Confused I stand, the bullet between my eyes Must I honor natures call, or fleshs call. I hold reasons blood drenched clothes As I rue the day I met you, As I helplessly look at the blood coated knife That love grips with a sense of might. My love for you has the power of an emotionally drenching song That drowns all the listeners other emotions. HEARTS OF STONE They say the war has to be fought They say the war has to be won Against such a mighty soldier, Against unconquerable love himself But Ill die fearing, Ill die a slave Amongst those with hearts of stone, Im not counted. Hearts of stone that with ease, stir love Those which, into a dungeon, throw love So that it never grows, or sees the light of day. Hearts of stone which suppress love, Even as loves storm thunders And as the coals at loves hearth furiously blaze They try to blow out its flames. Hearts of stone which give love such commands And wish for victory. ROCK-BOTTOM If you are happy, then I wont complain I extensively have to censor my emotions So that they wont publish the inside of my heart, That which yearns, like thirst, for you That which, like hunger, grumbles my stomach I must not show how much I miss you. Not seeing you makes me miss you more, I wish my heart were made of pachyderm So that notions of you Id resist. You are the reason that I bow to love.

My hearts admiration of your heart makes me tremble As even in my sleep, you pester me. Within those brown eyes, I see the beauty Which internally is mine, and externally is yours. The beauty that makes me forget the realities of life, That makes my mind meander through loves scenic valleys. Indeed I do notice, but spellbound I always remain, As clandestinely my heart resolves to maintain, What is notably natural, and cant be taken from you. As your smile violently removes the ground from underneath my feet, Shyness and joy unashamedly overwhelm me, As every moment spent with you is as valuable to me as daylight. I still feel the warmth of your body on that cold Sunday afternoon, As I clang to you, and you to me. The warmth of your lips haunts me, as I pursue to forget, That you ever existed, that my arms once held you. My mind tries to dig a grave, to inter those visions of you, To bury memories of the time we spent, But my shovel hits the rock, as constantly, into my mind you gatecrash. Your soft voice ghosts my vulnerable mind as Your confession of love still vibrates in my ear, But most of all, your happy smile Is engraved at the bottom of my heart.

TWENTY TWO Like a tree producing yet another bloom, Under the command of the spring season Under your belt you push, yet another year. As a stream grows into a river, And as a river matures into a lake, So have you as the years roll by. Its now 8047 days since you started Sucking in the air and puffing it out. But Im glad that you have turned into an amazing woman Who has made an impact on everyone her smile has dawned upon. A happy birthday is what I wish you, I wish for my love, for you, to suck in the air too And fortify in strength as the might in your heart. It seems like yesterday when you crawled the ground, Molded the mud and bit mummys tits. Cherish the memories of your childhood, Of your life, of our life and pray for many more as I pray for you too. My wishes reveal that I wish you many more, Im glad Im somebody in your life. My luck I cant believe, that I met you Im lucky to be loved by that special you in you.

WHERE EYES CANT SEE That distant light, that glimmer of hope That I notice in a distance, is evoked by emotions Which dare take such a stance. My emotions become ballistic, they overspill, whenever we touch. As we look deeper into each others eyes I see raw, undiscovered concern I see strong un-mined love that none yet has discovered That lies within you, that my soul only can reach to. Within those fearless browns I see my soul mate Joy is the experience, when I gaze deeper into them As I cant take my eyes off your eyes. Deeper into them I see care, I view concern. I see the revelation of your deepest feelings of love, I see the real you in you that loves the real me in me. I soul search. I see the untamed you, the one that I love in you. I see fettered unexplored desire that our love has to excavate. And as my hand rolls over your flesh The volts increase, the intensity intensifies, I cant get enough. I see the peaceful you in you, I see the tender loving mother in you, that I wish one day youll become. I also see the daddys girl in you, But then I see the stubborn you, the stallion within you, That which needs to be tamed, That which I intend to unleash love upon to tame. My heart tells me that you are mine forever, As I wish to make love to you all day long As I wish your head to lie on my chest all year long.


WHEN WE MEET FATE My thoughts gallop aimlessly As my emotions wallop my senses. Even though I physically see you less, You grip my heart with such gravitational force, Within you cause much commotion. Why I am attracted to you, the puzzle Im yet to solve. Is it the beauty in those eyes, I wonder? Is it the innocence of that smile, I blink. Is it the weight of your presence, let me refill my ink Some questions are better left unanswered, Some emotions are better left untamed. I loved you long before you talked to me By fate we met and met, yet silently we remained Until the day we met. All those times I saw you, my eyes were blind to this sight, The first time we talked, These ropes that bind us today, were invisible. But now I know the truth clandestinely kept by fate. I know, you were made for me, But some questions I cant even begin to answer. HIDE TO HIDE This insanity fetters me as my hand touches you Im overshadowed in a moment of passion, which turns into years. Control runs arid as I squeeze you closer. My mind goes vacuum, as my thoughts, your lips capture. My body sways as Im overpowered by this strong force Of forbidden love, which we have to keep clandestine. My emotions cause a riot within my being Holding up placards, they keep on chanting your name. I try to staff my ears, I strive to not listen. I can never been a dictator to my feelings Neither can I ever be an oppressor to my emotions My emotions are freedom fighters; they reign as self-emancipators. MISSING THE APPLES Will we ever, one day, shut this door? Will we ever conclude this story, we are writing? My mind travels the extra mile, to ponder My heart maintains these premonitions day in day out. For, just missing your phone call

Drives me crazy, puts needles where Im about to sit. Not seeing you for a week makes my head insane Have you ever felt how painful it is, to live on hope? To wonder when you will see someone again, Even though eventually you know you will. Ive discovered, sometimes I need time alone To rediscover myself, to ask myself if its for real My heart always concludes, That you are the apple of its eye. My heart always decides, that tomorrow is another day for us, And I put my other leg forward to walk on the path of love. To not see you, and not see you again Is a burden to my frail heart. I even cant concentrate, my stomach goes butterflies On just the fact that you might be gone. I know its not right for me to feel this way It is wrong for me to ponder on these thoughts of you Most of all it is wrong for me to want to see you constantly, But how can I stop feeling this way? I know that - to miss you - is against the law But for you Id damn the law, Id break it again, and again, Because you make me. From the abyss of my heart, honestly, I have tried to erase you from my heart Ive tried to paint you off my mind now and again Yet the paint fades, you re-emerge. If it were others theyd say try harder but honestly I dont know what that is. Its not that I want to deliberately water this tree, and also, Its not that I willingly want this to grow gigantically But lord help me I do not have the power to Raise the shield against my love for you. I do not have the roof, to protect me against this storm. Tell me, is there anyone that can stop a river from flowing By the lifting of an arm? Tell me, is there anyone who can tell the sun not to shine And be listened to attentively and responsively? Is this madness? Is this irrationality of the mind? The questions stroke my minds hairs, as I want to cry But I cant because I need you to hold me when I cry For only you can understand the kind of battle I am up against Only you can also feel this emotion that has destroyed me. Lau, from the midst of this raging storm I can only tell you that, You are the river that dampens my soul, when Im dry You are the sun that warms my heart when Im cold. BabyI miss the apples.


DAMNED Why did you come, like this, into my life? Why did you not knock, and wait for the reply? Why did you have to overpower me? And just run me down? Why didnt you give me that one chance, Just that one chance to think this one out? Why did you have to grip my neck? And deny me the air to breathe? Why did you have to hit me unconscious And pretend not to know? Who are you? I hate to ask So much that you dictate the pace of my life. So much that you write the formula of my emotions. Who are you? I beg you I wish to kiss you, and kiss you, into the wee Hours of eternity. I wish the past and present had a door That we could shut and forget, but they dont. I hold you in my arms I lie down and I reminisce I APPRECIATE Have you ever noted, how hard it is To find satiating love How impossible it is to find your soulmate out of the rubble. All my life, Ive been roaming Ive come to realize that many hearts are full Its not easy to find a place in someones heart Finding a safe place for your heart to reside is hard. I found lodge within yours, and Im thankful. For the opportunity, that Ive had, of knowing you I thank you. For your soothful warm hearts touch on mine I am thankful. For the chance I have to hear your voice, and Rest in the shadow of your smile, I am thankful. For the time you give me and The understanding, which flows, unrequested from your soul I am thankful For not even letting me down on any single day And for being such an angel all the days we have known I am truly thankful. For giving me a chance to know you and For driving my soul out of the quicksand of despair, For making me realize that there can never be any love like ours

I thank you. For the mere thought that flashes in my mind, that you are thinking of me And for being the secret love of my life You dont know how much I thank you. TOO DAMN GOOD Some things are just too good to be true I wipe off these tears as I wake from this dream The fact is that I shall never have you, And Ill forever have to bear with it Nomatter how much the pain is Ill have to stand it Nomatter how tense the storm gets, Ill have to be brave. Even though I know that love knows no bravado, And even though I know that love knows no wisdom. Ill have to carry the onus, and heave on the tough route, Ill have to just be strong to let you go Even though I know that it will be the death of my heart Even though I know that you will take my heart with you. FIGURE OUT THE LOVE I cry, not because of pain But because of what Ive suddenly come to gain. I cry, not because of hurt or hate But because of the fact that I love you so much, too much. Its not in the love we make Nor in the kisses and hugs we exchange. Its not in the way we look into each others eyes Nor is it in the warmth we feel when our bodies touch, Neither is it in the secret smile we exchange, That reflects the true happiness in our hearts, But in the invisible love that we share. Love so strong we dont even know what to do Love too deep, I cant even think of doing without. Love invisible as my pen, but clearly felt Within our souls. A love that engulfs my every thought, and Each and every of my step. Love that hits me with confusion as to its meaning at this point in life, A love so genuine, I ask the lord daily: Why? A love so special to me that, Baby, no day passes by without a thought of you And a smile.


LOVES CLOCK Baby everything about you makes me tick. Form that smile to that whole hearted kiss. For you, Im forced to walk the extra mile But then if I say everything about you I lie Because Ive never seen you angry. You are always happy and I wonder If your anger will make me tick too. But all the same, I breathe you. My thoughts spin when you emancipate Me from daily pressures. My life is now a part of you, just as yours is, A part of mine and together like a clock we tick. I used to think of you monthly, Then it turned to weekly. Hell I couldnt stop it when it became a daily bread. Now its an hourly thing, and Damn I dont know whats next. I wish you could tell me, I wish to me, the next page could be revealed. WHY YOU? If it where someone else, then I wouldnt mind. I wouldnt be so tied or so blown by this wind. If it where another, this part of my heart, I think I wouldnt have discovered. I wouldnt be a prisoner and my eyes, Love wouldnt like this blind. Ive been in love before, but discovered none of this kind. I never thought your eyes would make me Loves knob, to wind. As all thoughts and surroundings, When Im with you are forgotten. And only about you, my thoughts, my feelings Constantly remind. This love, our emotions have done nothing else but bind, As memories of ecstasy, within our thoughts always grind. When we are together or even far apart, never mind. Because Ill be faithful only to you and To our love be the rind AND YET I HOLD ON Never have I been so sure in my life That Im loved as much, or even more than I love.

Ive never been so sure of anyones love as I am, Sure of your love, for me. I never thought Id be loved for what I totally am. And I never thought it possible for me to reach such heights with Love in life, as Ive with you. Two years down the line our love keeps growing And only the angels know how great it wishes to. Our fantasies keep getting fulfilled, And the many surprises in our love keep us stunned. You keep pulling me closer yet I initially, I thought youd be pushing me away by now. Your smile has become the sunshine in my life, The warmth of your heart and understanding Have become like rain to my soul. From the day I met you, Ive always pondered that you are an angel, That was sent to fulfill the missing part of my life. I never thought we would reach this far, I never thought youd trust my love, but you did. No-matter what the future holds, for us, You have taken my heart, and if you leave me, Youll leave me without any. WHO KNEW? Some things in life, you cant change, but In life some things can change you forever. Funny how rain can change the soil, and all But the soil cant change the rain. That day I met you, I never thought Youd bring the whirlwind down upon me. I thought it was one of those hies and byes, Those moments you meet someone and just part ways. Those accounts whereby you just give someone your number And forget them and them about you. Or maybe one of those one night stands When people fuck because they want to release stress. My lord, did I ponder that youd, Bring me back to my knees? Too bad, did I know that some supernatural being, Had more plans for me for us, than met the eye WHOS FAULT That smile you crack, Surely gives me the chimes Answer me, do you ever give a hake,

Or count, just how many times That it arrests my thoughts? Do you ever consider how much it affects me? Or how much gas that puts to the flames of our love? Sometimes I wonder Was it your mummy, or was it your daddy That made you what you are? BELIEVE Ive observed silently, as you were twenty-one. Ive also watched agog, as you turned twenty-two, And as this sight feeds my eyes, Ive come to realize The smart lady youve grown up into And yet again today I spectate as you pick Up the twenty-third gift from the plate. I wish one day you realize all your dreams, I speculate that one day an eternal smile Will lighten up your face. As your achievements in life make those close to your heart proud When one day, all your goals are fulfilled and your fathers hopes for you, Like the full moon in the sky, blossom. I hope and trust, one day, like a flower From your bud you will fully emerge and lighten up the world As I wish your success to flourish and over-spill. And even though forever I might stay behind the scenes Or one day, like morning dew, be wiped out of your life Remember that there is someone who wishes you the best in life Remember that your heart will always be reserved in the Best part of my heart, because you changed my life. THROUGH THICK AND THICKER Love, is this stallion we ride, into this unpredictable future, Daily as we throw coals into this fire. Caution is what we throw to the wind As we meet clandestinely and un-clandestinely each day. As daily I discover something new about you, Something that makes me love you more Something that makes me yearn to climb this mountain higher. Love is this flooded river we cross, Everyday as obstacles we tackle, and through the dark tunnels of life we crawl, As your smile is my might, my vital strength, That puts muscle on my hand to forever swim. Love is this desert we scale, with dry lips, dry throats And the most arid tongues, As forward, we paddle, with hope, there is an oasis somewhere ahead.

Your kiss is what keeps me going, And what thatches this house, ere the rain comes And ere the hailstones of lifes pelt me and on lifes slopes I trip. Love is this lone star, that from afar we both see And which lights up this grass covered path On which we try to walk, as your hand reaches for mine And your eyes tell me we will one-day reach Up to the sky. THORNS Remembering all we had and rewinding all we did Is like peeling off the skin of my healing wound Even though I know we will meet again This thorn pricks my soft flesh. Only if I were sober, Id talk But being this drunk with love, I see not, the next morning When life beams its scarred face down upon me And grins its cruel grin. I stare to my side, I see death smile I stare to the other side, I see problems sneer. I have nowhere else to run to. I reminisce of you, I miss those warm arms I want to pour myself on your breasts I want to exhaust all my grief onto you. YOUR EYES That twinkle in your eye, Makes my ego forever dwindle. It makes me appreciate the naturalness, You possess - that which renders me insane. That bright light within your eyes Shines on even the darkest day of my life. It shields me from the outside world when Im with you, Mesmerizes me like being suddenly torched by a, Bright light as you emerge from pitch darkness. I wish to look into them forever, I want those blazing flames within them, To char my own, every now and then. I wish to see that beauty within them, All the remaining days of my life. As they encourage me to search deeper into your soul, As they demand me to unearth all the love I possess. Those eyes kill all the hesitation in me, and When Im with you I want to grab you, And keep looking into your eyes.

IN MY LIFE ***** I have learnt How to love for I love you more than I have learnt. How to smile I smile every-time I see your face, Every-time I think of you and me sharing wonderful moments. To be happy you make me happy in a way I have failed to understand. To be strong I have been strong in loving you, I love you so much, Ill be stronger forever. To be honest I have been honest with you On how much I love you. To care I care about you more than you will ever know. To be smart I would want to be smart In every way I love you. To have courage I have had the courage to tell You I love you, despite everything. To give I give you all my love, more is what I wish to give But up to now I have not learnt I have failed To stop missing you To stop thinking about you, To stop, dreaming about you. OUR LOVE

We like to do so many, of the wonderful things. We share a lot of wonderful, fun moments. You respect me for what I am, I admire you for what you are. We laugh with each other every-time we are together. We can tell each other our secret dreams and desires. You are a bright light in my life, You have a special place in my heart. You mean so much to me that I dont want to ever lose you. You have come to be part of me, part of my life. Our love, only the lord knows. You are there, wherever I need you, I wonder how you do that every-time. Too bad I want you, need you, love you Every second of my life. You have, loved, me, you love me, In a way still a mystery to me. I love you the same way Still, a mystery, to me. Thank you, my love

For coming into my life. You just dont know how much and What you mean to me. THE MYSTERY POEM ***** There are places in the heart, Reserved only for those who are too special to forget. You happen to be one of those people, And you will always be. Fondly remembered today and everyday And forever, by me. For you are like a four-leaf clover, Hard to find, lucky to have. If only a kiss was like a raindrop, I would send you a shower everyday, forever If a hug was a second, I would send you an hour every morning And night of your lifetime. If a smile were water, I would send you a sea I would drown you. If love were a person, I would send you, me forever to have. OH DEAR! ***** Warning bells should be ringing Red lights flashing, Sirens screaming. They do not they just let it be. No wonder my senses Are always on a party whenever I see you. The way you make me feel, You make me smile, You make me laugh, You make my day, oh I love you so! The way you hold me close to you. The way your hand makes my body shiver, Your tender passionate kisses, your eyes! Those eyes again and forever. Why do they have to be so, so to me? Why do they have to look at me with such intensity? Its really quite disturbing. My heart never seems to relax its rhythm, An odd tension seems to invade my body. Whenever you are near me.

Oh dear I love you so. ONLY HUMAN ***** 22:15hrs it is, just emotions taking me over. Trying to stop thinking about you Is only to start dreaming about you. Deepest thoughts of how special you are to me, For the greatest part you have gently touched Only makes my heart skip, my mouth Saying your name my lips Smiling, my blood boiling, Just as I feel whenever I think of your Soft touch, your kiss, that leaves me grasping, Wondering what it would be like. If I keep my lips on yours sweet! It just throws me into my own world of happiness. The fireworks on this New-years eve will be just like your Smile in 105 minutes. The stars, sparkles Shines upon me , just like your eyes. I cant help appreciate the beauty. With every moment we shared, Its like new found love. A brand new day, a new-born baby. Love is spending special moments with you. Love is being there with you Love is simply loving you For all the tender ways. It feels so natural, so special To last forever, together. Becauseonly human. YOU MAKE ME FEEL ***** In the wink of an eye, I discovered a friend. A friend thy eyes first spotted and discovered. A friend thy heart felt for feels for. Thine heart opened for mine eyes to read. I treasure that, we have between us. I only need to look through those eyes, To see the ever-present twinkle Of the morning-star of love. Only to hear that touching voice To make my ears flip flop for more, Sit beside you, to feel your love Flow from you to me

Gazing silently into your heart. I cant explain how that makes me feel. 21ST FEBRUARY 2003 ***** Remember our first heartbeat When our eyes first met! Remember when we first smiled at each other! It was like sunshine on a new day. You took my heart, I must confess. Looking deep into your eyes,I felt your heart, your love. It felt so good to find our love. Naturally first in each others eyes. Yes, I have failed totally, to know the meaning Of what I either felt or what I feel. I just know its true, natural and real. Could this be just more than just love? Its all because of you. You are the reason why I have felt so strong about love. Its every thing about you that makes me love you. The more I get to know you, the more I really care. I am missing you, if Im not kissing you. Its undeniable that our hearts found each other. Unbelievable that we have so much in common. We have so much love-fun we never get enough time. Every time you turn your back, I feel I want to beg you not to go. Just like every time we kiss Every time you hold me close to your sweet smile, Next to your loving heart, Saying words I love to hear. If only I could express the joy I feel Whenever I am with you, Whenever you smile at me. Its like winter time at the fireplace. For as long as the stars stay in the sky, Keep it in your heart, that I love you. It was all when the directions 21st February 2003 Where directions to our secret love in our hearts. Moments I never want to forget, Are moments Ive shared with you. Spending special moments with you, In our own private world, Discovering the beauty of togetherness Its whats made and makes us strong. There are times when I may be away, Its only physical, my heart you have dear!

I have never felt so strong, even to block my conscience It has ever felt so special, The way I love you you love me we love each other. Your love, like a beautiful melody Has touched the cords of my heart endlessly. The very best, is all I wish you and pray for you. 21st February 2003 it was. I love you forever I will! AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGIAN My heart has never known such rest, My soul has never experienced such peace, As that I feel when Im in your presence. I never knew love could reach such depths, I never knew trust could like such, exist. I also never knew emotion could be this strong. Now as you listen to each and every song, Listen with your heart, mind and soul Because each and every mean something to me Others might mean something to you too But most important of all there are those that mean something to us. Even after centuries and many more, I promise youd still be the one, The one I failed to understand how you knocked me off my feet. How you swept my heart up in your flight is still a mystery to me, A mystery Ill forever fail to solve. The way you understand me Id swear your soul is part of my being, Are you my shadow? Words fail me, just holding you and staring into your eyes, Can solve all my problems. Happy Christmas, darling.

Maybe Im mad, maybe Im just sad But I need answers mamma How does one put a full stop to the sentence of love, How do you just stop? How do you fight this feeling and stop it? How do you block this foots path and avoid the next step? I wish someone would tell me,

Teach me a way to forget with the blink of an eye. Deep into the well of thoughts I cast my pail of reason, I wonder can love hurt love in order to gain love? Can a soul find solace in another soul after hurting another soul? How do I get out of this dilemma, how do I untangle from this web?

Stuck I am, in this minute emotional frame. Life has never been the same since the day I asked you your name. I was forced to play loves game By this heart, which doesnt give a damn REVERIE A dream is like life, life is like a dream Dont sever it with a knife, never waste its cream.

I never imagined my heart would so stubbornly, fight for its rights I never knew I would fail this badly, in my duties of oppressing my heart. Do you hear the loud screams of my heart Amidst this grave silence of our company. My presence alone is an impression, I dont need to impress you. Our love comes natural Your eyes work me tired. Your smiles make me tongue-tied. The phone rings, I hear your voice. Please tell me its not you because when I hear you, I want to see you, when I see you I want to touch you. My silence does not mean that Ive forgotten you. Constantly you arouse my mind. Damn I miss you and I cant stand the pain But I have to. My silence does not mean that I dont care, I do, but talking to you and not seeing you,

Is like driving an epee through my tender soul. Baby for the pain Ive caused by not calling you, Im sorry because my pain has caused that.

Id have kept this inside me for eternity, But an eternity I wouldnt have, Because bottled inside me this would have killed me. Why does love fold someone in such ways? Can riches in monetary terms supplement breaches in romantic gains? When your destiny is blocked by this fog, And constantly your heart is with another And someones image annexes the land of your thoughts.

I hope you know deep down, That mine, for you is not only love, Was never love and will never be love, But - total affiliation into you. Sometimes I reverie of having kids with you, Holding you in my arms and Making you mine forever. Lord forbid, but I cant help it. I see my future in my eyes and no-matter How much strength I put into reluctance, My fate with you is decided. As the wind blows softy into your face You breathe and carry on the human race, These feelings roots you cant trace. How dare you stare love in the face?