Anda di halaman 1dari 254

BEYOND IMAGINATION

2003 Musings - Vol III

by

Wayne Hartman

1
2
INTRODUCTION

Namaste! Welcome to my world! On these pages you will find a stream of consciousness expression …
one that I have actively been participating in for just over a decade. The snapshot here comes from the
period from September through December of 2003. As you’ll see, it was quite a productive period of time
for this expression. The musings occurred nearly daily … 104 times in 122 days in fact. The expression
comes to roughly 400 pages and just over 156,000 words. Yes, that is a lot for one-third of a year. But,
what can I say? That is what I was moved to express, and what I am moved to share.

My hope is that you find this mind-expanding or better yet consciousness-expanding. It should cause you
to stretch outside of the normal confines of your consciousness into a wonderful new domain. If it does, I
have done my job well. There is a reason that spirit expresses through me in the manner that she does.
This is to be an example of what is possible for you to experience as well. By following this record of my
stream of consciousness, you get to taste a sample of what is possible. What I can do, you can do also.
No, not necessarily in the same manner. Written expression may not be your forte. But, there is some
manner of creative expression that is right for you. This is something you will have to find for yourself.
Some of this material may provide you with some insight as to where to look. By all means use whatever
parts of it you find applicable and useful to your life. Only you will know what these are. Not everything
is for everyone. But there is enough variety in this expression that there is probably something for
everyone.

These are the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. I don’t know how to prepare you for what they convey
other than to have you experience them directly. They come from a source inside of me. Even after a
decade, I still don’t know if this source is a part of me or not. It is simply there. The words just appear in
my mind. I don’t plan any of this communication, I simply allow it to manifest through me.

The expression is ordered by day, as it was expressed. The only editing was some spell checking and
minor grammar correction. It seemed that the date ordering of the material was appropriate somehow …
at least for this product.

There are two major sections in what follows. The first section has the day by day musings as they came
forth from September through December of 2003. It covers the first 408 or so pages. The second section
is a selection of best quotes from this expression. These are literally what I consider to be the gems of
what came forth from consciousness during this time. xxx passages were selected for this section, with
the date ordering remaining intact.

I hope that you enjoy what you find here. More than that, I hope that it helps you to awaken to see parts
of yourself that you never knew you never knew. One challenge from all of this is for you to expand your
reality framework to account for the fact that an expression such as this could continue to come forth
through me in the manner that it did in such a short period of time at the end of 2003. It is possible. It
did happen. That, in itself, says a lot about the creativity of consciousness as she expresses through us.
Yet, what I can do, you can do also. I came as a wayshower. Part of showing the way for me is sharing
the fruits of what my consciousness is able to produce. That is what I do at my Beyond Imagination
website:

http://www.redshift.com/~beyond

And, that is what I do here in the pages that follow. I hope that they bring to you some fraction of the joy
and wonder they have brought into my life.

3
Something that came forth in January of 1996 is particularly appropriate here:

I come to be gently caressed by consciousness. Yes, I sing her name a lot. She is on my
mind incessantly. It is through her that I came to life, and through her that I will live the
role that I am meant to live.

What is she? I cannot say. But, she is older than time and wiser than any who have
walked clothed in flesh. She speaks through us all. Yeah, she is the spirit within us all –
always there to guide us if only we had the sense to listen to her.

She is the ONE, though she be expressed as many. She is called by many names, though
most are not aware of her existence. She is greater than the Gods, though in ways that
are beyond imagining. The poets have known her as the muse, and she was indeed
responsible for their inspiration.

She has existed since the beginning of time, and even before that. Her face can be found
everywhere throughout the world, yet where there is beauty, doth she shine most brightly.

It is in this sense that all of this expression comes forth as musings from the source within me herself.

Enjoy! Be Happy and Create Well!

I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE!

LOVE,

Wayne

Redondo Beach, January 2004

Feel free to contact me if you relate strongly to this material or you have feedback to provide. I’m
looking for kindred spirits to help co-create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully
express in flesh.

Wayne Hartman
1800 Harper Av, Redondo Beach, CA 90278

4
beyond@redshift.com

5
Musings of a Spiritual Warrior
1 September 2003

The first day of a new month ... and the start of a new third of the year. That puts us at the 66.6 percent
point for the year. Interesting, one of the forms for the beast. Skipping the month, what is prominent is 1
-- 2 -- 3 = 2 13 from the middle out. That begs to be filled in with something. "To the death of" ___ ?
We've seen 21341, the number of my badge at work. But this condition is only going to last for one day
this month. Interesting. 123 = 3 x 41 = Triangle of Wayne: Ace of Cups. That suggests that we have
established a framework for abundance to kick in. It is curious that any day now we will have our third
book officially published and available for purchase. There is also 23 - 21 from the middle right to
middle left. Those are the numbers for wayne ellis, my first two names.

I'm curious, September = 19/24/31/33/38/42/44/49/58. That is the year of my birth = 1958.

Just noticed something interesting. The onset of the daily musings occurred just prior to my 44th
birthday. That would be as I was completing the path for "wayne ellis". It is particularly curious that the
final letter "s" only covers a 1 year span of time. Now, it seems that there is a choice as to what comes
next ... jr or hartman. If it is jr, we have a 1 year span that covers our 45th year ... this year, followed by a
9 year span that takes us to 2012. That is our second Easter birthday. This is the first time we have seen it
to have some numerological significance. Hartman gave us breaks at 8/9/18/20/24/25/30. Particularly
absent were 1 and 10. However, note that 20 and 30 still activate the energies at 74 and 84 respectively.
The biggest difference is now 54 = LOVE gets activated at an important life point.

"wayne jr" in a similar vein takes us to 23 10 = 33: The Master Teacher. Another interesting revelation. It
is amazing what is buried in a few simple numbers. But, spirit is very resourceful. She makes maximum
use of all that she is given to work with. And symbol systems are one such area where there is much
freedom to express meaning in an endless number of ways.

Another long weekend has passed by in a blur. Though I still have several hours available to express and
work today. I say work because I consider proofing to be work and at the rate I proof, there is still about 5
hours of that to do this week. Yes, I put a lot of time into this expression. My hope is that it will be worth
it ... worth it to those who consume it and benefit from it, and worth it to me in terms of the abundance
that it generates to do the works of Beyond Imagination. Actually, when it comes down to it ... it seems
that even without these things I would be expressing anyway, because this is simply something that I must
do. In a way, this expression defines whom that I am. I am the one through whom such an expression
could come. Though that doesn't really tell you much about me. It focuses on one of the things that I
have done. A very important thing, yes ... and it is true that ye shall know them by their works. But there
is a difference between the works and the entity through whom the works are done. What is missing in
my life are those who would know whom that I AM. Perhaps, I am destined to live a life of relative
isolation ... and people will never find this part of me. Though, at this point, that is not my desire. I
would have people take the step to go from the works to the person behind the works. I believe that part
of that is revealed in the expression itself. But I am glad to reveal more on request.

This expression in many ways constitutes the book of my life. However, I am not fully in control of what
is revealed. There is an inner source that directs the flow of consciousness that is recorded here. For the
most part, it is as if I am along for the ride. It is still amazing that after over a decade the process remains
essentially the same as it was in the beginning. I have no foreknowledge of what is coming. I have some
limited ability to guide the expression, but this is truly consciousness show. She expresses as she will.
Yes, she. That is how I experience source. I have never been moved to ask why it comes forth in this

6
manner. I have simply accepted the process for what it is and trusted that I was experiencing exactly what
I needed to experience. I considered this to be a gift from spirit from the very beginning. This was all
part of a spiritual awakening process. It didn't matter that no one else in my world at the time understood
it to be such. What mattered was what I was experiencing ... and there was no doubt, I was going through
a spiritual awakening. In some respects, I still am. The process that started in 1993 continues to this day.
Not a week goes by without achieving some new realization. No, these are not as big as the ones in 1993
and 1998 ... but the aftershocks continue nonetheless.

It seems time to start doing something different. If I want to experience something different in my reality,
I need to do something different. For the past several months we have been engaged in publishing books.
That meets the criteria. But, that is nearly done now and it is time to start doing something more. It is
time to become more outgoing somehow. It is time to outreach in a manner that introduces the Beyond
Imagination site and books to many. It is not clear at this time how to do that. It will definitely be a
stretch for me. I know that. But stretching is good for the soul. It seems that it is time to change my
ways somehow. The key question is how? What do I want to do next? What reality do I want to create?
How do I imagine myself living and working in the days ahead? Unless I can imagine it ... there is no
way for me to create it. I have been satisfied with leaving all of this to spirit to date. I kept my beliefs in
relatively good order, and trusted spirit to present me with the reality that I needed to experience. She's
done that. She moved me to work toward publishing eight books in 2003. She even came through with
the funds to cover three of them effectively out of thin air. Every sign seems to indicate that I am on the
right course ... that I am doing what needs to be done. Then, why this gnawing feeling that there is
something I am missing ... that there is something more that I could be doing?

2 September 2003

Here we go again. What can I say? Consciousness still moves us to express in this manner. So long as
that is the case, we will give her the forum in which to speak. Yes, this is a choice that I make. It is an
important choice regarding where I choose to expend my free time. Yet, it is here in this expression that I
find myself doing something of value ... something that is potentially of great importance not only to me
but to the world. Yes, it is audacious of me to think in this manner. But, how would you think if all of
this was coming forth through you. Actually, in a sense, if you are reading this it is coming forth through
you ... just in a different way. That is part of what this expression is all about, capturing a stream of
consciousness so that others can walk in my mindsteps for awhile. No ... it is not easy walking. I know
that. In fact, at times it is downright strange. But, it is what it is. It is a stream of consciousness that I
was moved to capture. Do with it what you will. Use it to move you into ever grander states of your own
making. I am a wayshower. I am here to point the way. It is for you to follow the guidance as it applies
to you and find the way that is right for you. There is no one way that is the way, that is right for
everyone. Each way is only a way, and may or may not apply to any given individual. We must find what
works for us. This will be different for each of us.

What am I moved to do next? What else would I create in my life? What else would it take for me to
abide by my own parting remark and "Be Happy and Create Well"? Being happy is a choice that we make
each and every moment of each and every day. We can make this choice regardless of what is going on in
our lives at the moment. We can choose to be happy anyway. The very fact that we are alive at such an
incredible time is something to be happy about. The fact that there is so much potential for manifesting a
new world order that is spiritually based is also amazing. Many people look upon a new world order as a
negative thing. But, it doesn't have to be. It can be quite positive. Much of the fear comes from a
mistaken understanding of how the new world order might use or abuse the power granted to them. Why
is it so difficult to believe that human nature is basically good? Why is it so difficult to believe that

7
people naturally want to do the right thing? Yes, we have history books full of cases where the opposite
has been true. But are these typical ... or, are they notable exceptions?

John Lennon's song Imagine plays in the background as I write this. That could easily be a theme song
for Beyond Imagination. What he imagines ... we want to take the next step and manifest on Earth. Can
we do that? I sincerely believe that we can. It is possible. And further, it is one of the major tasks that
we came to do. Interesting, I say we but who am I referring to by this? Me and spirit? Me and others yet
unknown? At the same time, the tense seems appropriate somehow. This is a joint endeavor that we are
engaged in ... not something that I am doing alone. Then again, is there anything that I truly do alone? It
seems that consciousness, at the very least, is always by my side. At some point it seems that others will
be as well. But, we are not at that point yet. Is there anything that I can do to accelerate when we will
reach that point? Or, is this one of those things that we simply have to allow to happen when it happens?
There is a strong sense of the later. However, this comes with an understanding that as the creator of my
own reality there are some things that I can do to facilitate the process. What these are I do not yet know.
But awareness that they exist is the first step. There are millions of people that have heard the song
Imagine many times over the years. How many of these have truly reflected on what the lyrics say?
How many of these believe what the lyrics say? How many of these are willing to do something to
manifest the changes that the song speaks of? I for one do! Change starts with one person believing
enough in something to be willing to do what it takes to manifest it. Though, doing whatever it takes may
require enlisting others to assist in the endeavor. Some things require teams of people to manifest. That
is OK. We just need to find the right team members and creator the right work environment for them to
operate efficiently and effectively. This can happen naturally. But, it seems that more and more we are
being asked to facilitate it. How to build effective teams is a challenge. But, we can apply what has
worked in the best working environments to our endeavors here. The domain may be different, but
similar processes definitely apply.

While many new age concepts are whimsical and many spiritual theories are indeed untestable, that by no
means applies to all of them. We don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. After all, in the
early 1900's there were legitimate scientists with proofs that people could never travel faster than 30
MPH. The scientific method when it is applied in the wrong way can lead to highly erroneous and
whimsical theories as well.

Yes, we are all in 3D, but we are not of 3D. But, where do you place thought and consciousness? Are
these simply chemical and electrical processes going on in the brain. I find that extremely difficult to
accept ... especially given the nature and quantity of what has been expressed through me over the past
decade. My sense of things is that consciousness and awareness are synergistic phenomena. They are
more than any of their parts would suggest as possible. I would go so far as to suggest that there is a soul
that is non-physical that is associated with each of us, and that we are the physical projection of that soul.
How much can be projected depends on what we do to create a vessel through which that soul can
express. That is where some of the new age disciplines come into play. In particular, those that involve
getting us better in touch with our intuition.

When you say 3D is the only reality that exists ... I beg to differ. The world of our imagination is just as
real as 3D. It is expressed in art, in song, in books, in poetry, in dance, in philosophy and thought and in
any number of creative ways. Some of these are more physical than others. It is also expressed in
dreams, though personally I have limited recollection of such. It doesn't matter whether what we perceive
agrees with what is out there in the "real world". The very act of perceiving it as we do makes it our
reality.

To some of us, the world of ideas ... of ideals, is just as real, if not more real than the world of form. In
fact, we consider ourselves to be in the process of manifesting the world of our imaginations. That takes
8
more that thinking about it or wishing for it to be so. That requires taking action consistent with
manifesting what we believe that we want to create and experience.

Thoughts do have power! The right thoughts at the right times in the right minds have the power to
change the world. But only if they cause people to DO SOMETHING that results in the necessary
changes. Some may be able to reach a level of control where they are indeed masters that control their
lives via their thoughts.

What if you are wrong Melissa? What if it is you who are deluding yourself believing that you have far
less power than you really do? It is not so much thoughts that create reality, it is beliefs. We co-create our
reality in accord with our beliefs. To change our reality, we must change our beliefs ... or change how we
are interpreting what we are experiencing. Often, it is not what happens that matters, it is what meaning
we assign to what happens. Even in a physical body, we have far more creative power than we can
imagine ... primarily because this power comes from a source that interfaces with us from outside of the
physical. It is there inside of us, ready to guide us if only we quiet ourselves and choose to listen to what
it has to say.

Choosing a life of spirit is not a matter of checking out, rather it is really a matter of checking in, in the
grandest way that we can at this time in this existence. We are spirit experiencing an incarnation in flesh.
That is true for all of us. It seems too many have focused so much on being flesh that they have forgot
that their true nature is spirit.

As to when the grim reaper gets us … we will choose the time, place, and circumstances for that as well.
No, not consciously necessarily. But, we either co-create our reality or we don't. There is no gray area
here. And, there is no doubt either ... we definitely create and are responsible for it all, no fine print, no
exceptions.

It seems that we live in very different prisons. I, too, see that we are in bondage, but it is a bondage of our
own making that we are free to rise from and lift at any time. Yours, however seems to be a forever kind
of thing. What purpose is there to such an existence?

Everything that I see tells me that there is a divine plan unfolding on a very large scale. It is a plan that
involves the evolution of the physical vessels in which consciousness can express in flesh. For the most
part these have been limited to individuals thus far. But, we are starting to see organizations being born
that embody a collective spiritual consciousness. As the times progress we shall see more and more of
this. At some point, we are going to realize that we are ONE WORLD, and that there is ONE
CONSCIOUSNESS that animates us all. When that happens we will truly see changes that are wonderful
to behold.

My sense is that something is pulling the world and associated forms within the world toward ideals that
permit the greater expression of spirit. This is not happening randomly. The world doesn't naturally
evolve toward greater order and complexity. Yet, that is what we observe happening. Someday, we are
going to include the spiritual component in our "equations" and explanations of things.

Personal Power is the ability to apply one's skills and talents to co-create the reality that one prefers to
experience. Living free from fear and free from external control are decent major objectives.

How much difference will this make? Without these "tools", there would simply be no way for me to do
what I am here to do ... in my case, create the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully
express in flesh.

9
The expression that is Beyond Imagination requires tapping source via intuition on nearly a daily basis for
close to 3 hours. In a decade, I have over 3 million words of expression, most of which is posted at my
site.

There is a difference between where you want to be and where you need to be. It seems that spirit ensures
that I am always at the later ... but perhaps not at the former. It is not clear how much of that is due to
unrealistic or unreasonable wants however.

I have goals along the way. Publishing 8 books this year is one. Publishing 12 books by the end of 2004
is another. Earning my living doing what I love to do is third major one. Though for this, it seems the
time frame is up to spirit. As to how I'll know when I'm finished, that one is easy ... I'll be dead.

3 September 2003

Yesterday's musing was interesting. It is not often that I get to respond to anything or anyone. It made for
a refreshing change. Perhaps that is a sample of what is in store in the days ahead as we take this
expression public. It is high time that we started to interact with others in the world far more than we
have to date. That is not hard to do considering far more than virtually nothing does not have to be much.
Yet, there is a sense that despite my hermit ways to date ... there is a hidden side of me that is a far more
social creature. I don't believe that I would even be expressing in this manner and sharing this expression
in this way if such were not the case. Clearly I am different than most people. What moves me, what stirs
me, what excites me, what motivates me, what drives me are very different for me than for others. Yet, I
am flesh and bones. I have two arms and two legs and a head just as anyone else. The body is the same.
The brain may even be similar. But the programming that has been experienced for 45 years is distinct for
each of us. Though, part of this programming is in the very genetic structure that composes all life. It is
interesting that the Human Genome Project is close to reaching its objective. One doesn't hear much
about it anymore. Perhaps they have completed the task. I know that it was a cooperative effort
involving researchers throughout the world. It makes you wonder how many other grand things might be
accomplished if we cooperated and committed the appropriate resources to them. One area ripe for study
is the brain, the mind, and the nature of consciousness.

I read something today that said that in its heyday during the Apollo flights and moon landings, NASA
received 1 percent of the budget. However, since then, this has dropped substantially. It was suggested
that we raise this again and use the increases to fund manned missions to Mars among other projects.
We'll have to see if the Senator from Texas that was proposing this can garner the necessary support.
What if we chose to spend 1 percent of the budget on brain/mind/consciousness research? What advances
and benefits might come from such an investment? 1 percent is not much. However, looked at another
way ... if you spent 1 percent on each thing you could only do 100 things. And some thing such as
defense, education, healthcare, welfare, government are probably going to take more than 10 percent
each. So, how do we get support for the 1 percent solution. It is not as if it would be wasted. Initially, it
would go primarily into research grants. Graduate students are still some of the most cost effective
resources we have for doing work. They are highly educated and highly motivated. And, typically, their
lifestyles are such that they can get by on much less than those working in the private sector. If we can
give them something to truly sink their teeth into, I think we'll be amazed by what they are able to come
up with. Further, it is not strictly the scientists that we seeking out here. How the mind functions and the
nature of consciousness need to be tackled from a variety of disciplines. What is important is to find
people good at observing and recording what they observe. What they will be observing primarily is the
mental states, the states of consciousness, of themselves and others. Yes, much of this will be subjective
... and highly subjective at that. That is part of the nature of the beast that we are dealing with.

10
The file name for today is interesting. It includes 30903. That comes across as 9:00:33 = The Hermit:
Source : The Master Teacher. Is that what I have become. It seems that such is definitely what I could
be. It is simply a matter of choice. It seems that my destiny is in my hands now. Perhaps it has always
been ... only now, I am truly aware of it as I have never been before. It will be interesting to see what
comes of this. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to do. It will be interesting to see what I am
moved to create and who is attracted into my reality as a result.

Spent several hours finishing the selections of best quotes for 2003 Musings - Vol II. We should be able
to wrap that up and send it to the publisher early next week. It looks like it is going to come in at about
560 pages ... including 104 pages of quotes. What can we say, another sizeable work. I'm ready to be
done with it and see what I will be moved to do next. There is still nearly 1/3 of a year to go in 2003. I
find it amazing reflecting back on how much has been accomplished in nine months. Yet, it seems that is
only a sample of things to come. Eight books ... we are so close to having eight books completed in 2003
that we can taste it. We are down to one final pass and numbering of the quotes and implementation of
final proofing corrections. These are things that are well within our control to complete. That is one of
the nice things about this expression and about self-publishing. The bulk of it is under my control, even if
I don't know what will be expressed in a given musing on a given day. Once the words are generated,
however, getting them into a form to be published is completely under my control. I format and proof the
material and I generate the required excerpts and descriptions. This is easier than most people might
think. It really is easy to get published these days, and it does not take a lot of money. For $400, you can
publish a book. I've chosen to do that seven times this year and am about ready to commit to an eighth.
Will there be a return on my investment? The money is nothing compare to the hours that have been
involved over the years. In fact there have been many more hours than dollars.

4 September 2003

My the days fly by. We are already four days into the month. So far, we have a streak going ... but I
wouldn't count on it continuing as long as some of the streaks in the past. It just doesn't seem to be as
important anymore. We have shown what we can do for over 20 months. That is long enough to have
established a pattern. That is not to say the musings will end anytime soon. It seems that they will at least
continue through the end of the year. It is just that the sense of urgency has stepped down a notch. I can
still feel it. I am still moved to come here to express. However, it seems that I could just as easily be
moved to use the time on other Beyond Imagination endeavors. It is time for a new direction for this
expression. I guess that could happen within the confines of the expression itself. Hmm ... I hadn't really
thought of that. The other alternative is to consciously express in other ways. There are probably a host
of other alternatives I haven't yet considered as well. We'll just have to see what I am moved to do. Right
now, at this moment, this is it. What the morrow will bring, only spirit knows.

I really don't like the task of proofing, and I'm probably not the best at it. Yet, I don't have the resources
to hire it out at the present time ... and I don't know anyone who would consider doing it on their own
without compensation. So, as usual, that leaves me to do it. That gets to the issue of how do we make the
work of Beyond Imagination more than an endeavor of one. Yes, I can do a lot. But, that is still highly
limited compared to what a group cooperating together could achieve. How do I attract and organize such
a group? Is that what is meant for Beyond Imagination? I strongly believe that it is ... though I have no
evidence that would prove this yet, only an inner sense that what we are doing is meant to have world
impact somehow, and that can't happen as a solitary endeavor.

My life has been so isolated to date that I really have no basis for understanding just how different things
are going to be in my life in the future. The only thing that guides me is an inner knowingness that what I

11
am experiencing right now is limited and is definitely not all there is. Spirit has more in store for me than
this ... of that much I am sure. This expression is this prolific for a reason. Yet, there is also some reason
that my nature is as solitary as it has been for my whole life. That I could reach this point and these
conclusions given these conditions and experiences says a lot about the nature of consciousness and
spiritual expression. Exactly what it says ... we'll leave that for you to determine for yourself. This
expression gives you more than enough to draw conclusions from.

Expressing freely is a necessary condition for happiness for me, but it is not a sufficient condition. There
is still something that is missing from my life ... something very important. If I knew what it was, I would
be doing something about it. I know that it involves others somehow. It involves creating a community, a
society that I would want to be a part of. We have a great deal of information about this at the Beyond
Imagination site. The issue before us is how do we manifest it in flesh? How do we make it part of our
reality?

What events would cause my life to open up? It seems that I can't necessarily count on outer events to do
this. Then, what inner events would trigger these changes? Is this something that I can just consciously
decide and then make so? Or, is there more to it involved than this? I'm really breaking new ground
here. At 45, this is the first time in my life where I've felt so strongly that I need to connect with others
somehow. You might say "It's about time". And, I guess you would be right. But, my life has been what
it has been. Further, there is a sense that this is as it needed to be to allow me to develop into whom I
have become. OK, perhaps not every aspect of it. But, much of it. We experience what we need to
experience to learn and to grow into whom that we need to be to carry out our missions in the world. At
least, that is how I see things from my perspective. I'm sure there are other perspectives. I'm sure there
are others who are not as enamored of where there experiences have brought them as I am. But, we create
the reality that we experience. And, we do this whether we believe that we do or not.

Life is unfolding before us each and every moment. And, what a grand process it is to behold. Spirit
animates it all, every aspect of it ... the bad as well as the good. There is nothing but spirit in expression.
Oh, in some areas things are far darker than in other areas. There is a play of light and dark that is
underway. And we are the actors and players within that play ... creating and experiencing our reality.
But, there is a playwright and a director pulling the strings behind the scenes. I consider this to be spirit
herself or the one consciousness. How far does the play analogy go? How much of the play is planned
out in advance? Are we as individuals part of that planning process? Do we participate consciously, other
than consciously, or both? To what degree is free will allowed in the play? How much free will do we
really have? How would we even know? It seems that most of the times there are so many factors in our
decisions that it is not clear how we make them anyway. What would be the difference between making a
choice and appearing to make a choice? We can never go back to the point of the choice and pick a
different alternative.

5 September 2003

Wow, how could I neglect to mention another major milestone yesterday? Book number three, 2003
Musings - Vol I was officially published. I consider a book published when it is available for purchase
from the publishers online bookstore. How many people have published books? I would guess that this is
a small fraction of the population. We now have three with a total of close to 1400 pages of nonfiction
expression. We also have four more books in the publishers hands and a fifth that we should be able to
send to the publisher next week. That gets us to our goal of publishing eight books in 2003. Though the
final one should be published within a couple of weeks of the end of the year. Hmm ... Been there, done
that, what's next? I don't know where that came from but all of a sudden it was there. But, there is a

12
sense that it is time to move onto something new. And, I mean really new, something that I have not
done before. It will be interesting to see what that is. I'm sure it will be revealed over time. However, it
seems that this is something that I need to seek out as well. It is time to take a more active roll in what I
am creating. I have allowed spirit to operate as she will in my life. That is all well and good. But, there
are things that I can do just as well for myself ... and it seems time for me to start doing these. I need to
reflect a bit on my life to see what these are. But the sense is that they will be fairly obvious once I go
seeking for them.

Mu - sings of a Spiritual Warrior. Mu was another name for Lemuria, the lost continent. There is a sense
that all of this is the song of Mu somehow. That is what consciousness is expressing here, at least to the
degree that I can receive the message and serve as a channel for it. Interesting. There was a series of five
books by James Churchward if memory serves me that dealt with Mu and its symbols. I recall reading
them, but have no memory of what I read at this point. So many things have been ingested over the years
that I have no idea where they went or how they got tied to other things in my framework. At this point, it
doesn't seem to matter. I am what I am here and now ... and that is what I have to deal with. That is my
present reality. Though, this reality is changing even as we speak and only partially by things that I am
doing consciously. There is still a great deal going on at other than conscious levels behind the scenes.
And, this is well and good. If we had to take care of the details for everything we would go nuts and
never get anything done. It helps to trust that there is a host of unseen elves waiting to do our bidding.
However, they get their direction not from what we say, but from what we believe.

Just checked. The next three books were sent to the publisher on July 7 and 8. It typically takes them
around two months to do their thing and get a proof copy to me. That means we should see something in
the next week or two at the latest on all three of these books. That should put them in the published
category by mid-October. This will be a major step ... doubling the number of Beyond Imagination
books. It is interesting that the total page count is approximately another 1400 as well bringing us to
2800.

But, will the books sell? Will they find an audience that they serve? I believe that they are original and
have something to offer people. I know that they have offered me a lot over the years. I know that it is
important to have examples of where other consciousnesses have been to allow us to grow and expand our
own consciousness. That is the primary benefit of this expression. Here, I share whom that I am and
what is able to be expressed from source through me freely and openly. I also invite feedback ... though it
seems my invitations fall on deaf ears much of the time. That, or people simply aren't moved to provide
such feedback. That is OK. I'll continue to express as I am moved to express anyway. There is a strong
sense that we do this because we must. There is something about this expression that is important.
Further, there is something about sharing this expression that is important. This is not just some diary that
I am writing to for my own personal use. Nearly daily, I post what has come forth and make it available
for the world to see. Why do I do that? Why am I moved to share in this manner? I've known since early
on that this communication was not for me alone. The Beyond Imagination web site was created in 1995,
and from that time on most of the Beyond Imagination expression has been captured as web pages and
posted to the site as they were generated. Looking back, I believe this openness and willingness to share
was instrumental in allowing much of the expression to come forth as it did.

How do we get people to visit Beyond Imagination and see the wealth of metaphysical material we have
to offer? Literally, we have several thousands of pages of information in over 1000 files. Nearly all of
the material came through me. All of the material came through since 5 March 1993. Most of the
material is stream of consciousness expression, but it is my stream of consciousness ... and that seems to
be unlike any other that I've encountered. Not that I've encountered many. As a hermit, I don't get out
much ... except into the world of ideas and books. But even there, I haven't encountered anything similar
to what is expressed through me. That doesn't make it superior in any way, it just makes it different. This
13
is not surprising. I would be a unique individual and would choose to do things my way. Being normal or
being part of the crowd do not appeal to me at all. Though, there is a part of me that would be happy to
do my work in the background rather than in the limelight. Whether that will come to pass or not remains
to be seen.

6 September 2003

Well, we're off to a good start for the month. We haven't missed a day of expression yet. That despite the
fact that we are busily working on the final touches to 2003 Musings - Vol II so that we can send it to the
publisher this week. That will get us to our goal of eight books published for the year. That is an amazing
feat especially since we didn't find out about self-publishing and begin in earnest until around March.
Yes, that definitely makes this a year to remember. Further ... while the publishing side is done for the
year due to the 3 month process time; there is still close to 1/3 of a year to do creative work and express
what consciousness would express through us. Who knows what will be created in that time. Whatever it
is will be the basis for works published in 2004. We're less than 4 months away and I still have no clue as
to what the focus for 2004 will be. Why is that? Do I have a need to know? Apparently not. If I needed
to know, I would know. My sense is that I am to live my life in the moment ... in the here and now, doing
what I am moved to do in the moment, trusting that what I am moved to do is exactly what needs to be
done. That doesn't mean that I should ignore any feedback from the world. Quite the contrary ... I am to
invite it and use it to help guide my endeavors.

But what about plans? What about projections of how we would have things be in the future? How do
we create change in line with our vision if we don't do the necessary planning and preparation now? I
didn't specifically negate the need for such. However, whatever planning I need to do, I trust that I will be
moved to do in the moment. It will be a natural extension of how I express in the world. Thus far, there
hasn't been much of that. I have considered planning to be very much a future focused thing. The only
part of it that is of value in the present is the definition of what actions we can take now to move in a
direction towards achieving the objectives of the plan. And, we only want to do that if we buy into those
objectives to begin with. Everything comes down to a vision. Do we buy into the vision or not? If so,
we should be willing to do things that are consistent with manifesting that vision. Usually that involves
doing something in a different way. For visions involving the infrastructures of society ... these are big
things and big changes. It seems that small changes are simply not going to get us to where we need to be
to facilitate the birth of a new age. Yet, who is empowered to make big changes? The answer is simple.
Collectively, we all are!

Why is it that I am still effectively alone in this endeavor that is Beyond Imagination? I have been
searching for kindred spirits for nearly a decade with whom to work on the variety of things addressed in
this stream of consciousness expression. But my search has effectively been for naught. Why is that?
What is the feedback that I am getting from this? Is it that this is meant to be a solo endeavor? I find that
difficult to believe, yet I do have a very strong hermit nature that isolates itself from the very world that I
care so much about helping. Curious, I would help even though I choose not to participate for the most
part. No games. This is serious stuff of which we are speaking. My personality is such that it does not
tolerate game-playing.

Everything is as it is for a reason. It is perfectly reflecting our beliefs about what reality should be both
individually and collectively. That includes this expression. It has its reason for existence. I know that it
has had a strong impact in my life. I suspect that it has had such an impact on others, though I know not
whom nor how many. Further, the expression is such that it could have such impact long after I am gone.
Whether it will or not remains to be seen. Much depends on what kind of an organization that I leave

14
behind to carry on the work. This is the work of spirit that we are doing. It must be done. At least, that is
my sense of things. This expression is something that I must do. Building the foundations for a new
world is also something I must do. I am fully aware that this is no easy task. Further, I am aware that this
is not something that I can do alone. Oh, there are some parts of it that I can accomplish by myself. But,
the greater parts of the endeavor demand cooperative effort. Then again, why should that surprise us?
The very endeavor should be an example of what we are trying to build and express in the world. Will we
succeed? Of this, there is no doubt. There is a spiritual plan and destiny that is being enacted. We are but
the players in that plan. We will do what must be done when it need be done. And, we will do it willingly
and cheerfully or we will not do it at all. That is how spirit works. She doesn't force us to do things ...
she gently nudges and allows us to do as we will. Yet, in the end everything unfolds as it is meant to
unfold.

How can I be so certain that destiny will unfold in this manner? The chief answer is because I live in a
world where spirit is expressing in flesh. Spirit came first. It's manifestation and expression in flesh is an
activity of what it is. The whole goal of physical existence is the greater expression of spirit in flesh. We
are ever in the process of building new forms that permit greater and greater spiritual expression.
Regardless of appearances to the contrary, we are all spirit enfleshed, spirit having a physical experience.
While we are physical, we are meant to be just that ... be physical. Though that does not mean losing
sight of our spiritual nature as we do this.

What would our life amount to in the end? Within another month or so, I'll have six books published. By
the end of the year, that will grow to eight. That is quite a physical legacy to leave. Even if I were to
accomplish nothing else with the rest of my life, that would have been some accomplishment. But, that is
not enough for me. In fact, this is only the beginning. There is a sense that I am to have a role in
announcing to the world that these works are available. What role that will be remains to be seen. But, it
just isn't going to happen by itself from what I can see. Here, it seems that it is up to me to do something
to make things happen ... to spread the word and allow people to find Beyond Imagination and experience
what it has to offer. My assessment is that it has much to offer. Though, it is difficult to be specific about
just what that is. The expression is primarily a stream of consciousness ... and I am not privy to how it
originates or why it is organized as it is. Even after ten years, this is all a mystery to me. I spend nearly
1/5th of my waking life engaged in it, but it is a mystery nonetheless. That is OK. There is nothing that
says that we have to understand everything. It is enough that we can engage in the expression anyway. At
least, so it seems for now. I am moved to express what would be expressed through me. And, I am
moved to do it nearly daily. This has been going on for over 20 months already, with no signs that it will
end anytime soon. Then again, it started without warning on 1 January 2002. It is curious that this would
be the beginning of a year. But such it was. We don't have enough experience to know whether it will
stop at some point in the future as quickly as it started. At this point, I doubt it ... but I have been wrong
in such matters before. One way or another, it will unfold as it will. And, I will find a way to enjoy the
process. Getting back to our starting question. Our works and the impact that our life has had on the lives
of others constitute what our life amounts to. These are what survive us in the world. On the personal
front, what we have done to "know thyself" and the decree of awareness that we have achieved are what
we get to keep and take with us. Given this, it is very important to pay attention to what we are as
consciousness enfleshed and what we do as consciousness expressed in flesh.

We still haven't been moved to do much to promote the Beyond Imagination books. Oh, we've added
Published Books links and pages at the site. And, we've added a few reciprocal links to other sites.
We've also advertised to generate a link from another site. Finally, we have a magazine ad for the Beyond
Imagination site coming out in the Sedona Journal in Oct - Dec. Those are a few things that may generate
some traffic and perhaps some sales. However, it seems that I should be doing more. I have 500
postcards and 1000 business cards for Best Passages from 2002 Musings. It doesn't do much good for
them to be sitting on my desk. At the same time I have no clue as to who to send them to. The Beyond
15
Imagination books are not ordinary books. It is not clear they will make it to the market in the ordinary
ways. Though, if they are to get out based on my efforts, it seems that I'm going to have to start
contacting a whole lot more people than I am accustomed to contact per day or per week. At this point, I
just don't see that happening. I don't know how it would happen. Then again, if it is meant to be, it will
be. I'm open to doing whatever is necessary for Beyond Imagination to succeed in its endeavors.

What is next? At this point, I really do not know. We'll get the eighth book into the publisher this week.
We'll continue musing so long as we are moved to express in this way. We'll finish Beyond Mind. And,
I'm sure that there are other projects that we will be moved to start. Late this week, I was thinking about
creating a Top 100 quotes work ... created by selecting the best quotes from everything that has been
expressed to date. That will not be particularly easy to do, first selecting the quotes from all of that
material, and then ordering the quotes by importance or value. This would not be sufficient material for a
book, but might make good first section for one. Also, it would be important to retain information on the
source of each of these quotes so people could go to the appropriate material to explore further if they
desired. Another benefit is that it is time to change the quotes on my wall. These would be strong
candidates for wall quotes. I've already had a couple people ask me what some of my favorite quotes
were. I didn't have a ready answer other than the dozen or so posted on my wall and reading these again
last week ... several of them are suspect. They are good, but they are not great. They are not the best that
I have done nor the best that I can do. Some of the calendar quotes are like that as well. Though, they are
all thought provoking, and it is amazing that they could come forth through one person in just over three
months. Then again, we have 883 passages for 2003 Musings - Vol I and another 660 for 2003 Musings
- Vol II. At this pace, we'll have over 2100 passages for the year. That is simply amazing that spirit could
come though so prolifically and profoundly. Yet, I watched it happen day by day ... musing by musing.

7 September 2003

A week into the new month already. Where does the time go. It seems to fly by so fast. It was a very
lazy day overall. I didn't do much of anything. Some days are like that. We can't be energized and
motivated all the time, now can we? Though, I would very much like to be. So, what would it take to be
that? It seems that if I had the right support group around me that would help a lot. But, how do I find or
attract such a group? That does indeed seem to be the next step to take this expression. We need
interaction and feedback to propel the expression forward in fresh new ways. I can only do so much on
my own. Then again, perhaps I am placing limits on this expression that are not rightly there. Our
challenge has always been to find our limits and to either overcome them or find a way to use them to
accomplish what needs to be done. When seen from a different perspective limits are often tools.

How am I going to make people aware of the Beyond Imagination books? As the author, is that
something that is my job to do? It seems that it shouldn't be, but it is. The stream of consciousness
expression came forth through me. It is for me to share it with the world. Is the world ready to hear what
I have to say? It seems that it must be. The very fact that I am so strongly moved to share this expression
seems to indicate that the time is right somehow. Then again, this expression has been going on for over a
decade already. What is different about now than at any time over the past decade. There just seems to be
a sense of finality somehow, a sense that one phase is finished and that it is time for something new. The
sense is that this will be a far more outgoing phase of expression. Though, exactly how that is to manifest
I have no clue at the present. Perhaps it is time to start imagining something in this area.

What would it take to be happy? I haven't really asked myself before. What I do know is what I have in
my life at the present time is not enough to ensure this. The weakest area is relationships. It seems that
these are a necessary part of life but are virtually absent from my life. It is all my doing. It is all the

16
result of choices that I have made. But, the bottom line is that I live a highly isolated existence and desire
to change this. I have spent ten years sharing whom that I AM as intimately as I can. Though ... it is not
clear with whom I have shared. The expression at Beyond Imagination is me. It tells you more about
whom that I AM than most ever share. I know that it revealed a lot to me. I believe that it was meant to
reveal a lot to others as well. One thing that is missing from my life is friends. That has been true for
most of my life. Then, I have high ideals as to what constitutes friendship.

There is still a desire to play the Hermit role. Perhaps this comes from a belief that relationships are hard
work and not necessary worth the effort required to develop and sustain them. Hmm ... with a belief like
that, it is no wonder that I would steer clear of relationships. However, there is another difficulty. There
is a fear of saying what I feel because either I don't want to hurt someone or because I don't want to be
judged as selfish for feeling that way. It definitely makes my life a challenge. At some point, however, I
am going to get fed up with it and do what it takes to change it. The benefits of living an isolated life pale
by comparison with the benefits of living a life in community. I know this. I just need to make it a real
part of my life. Part of that is to create the very community that I would choose to be an active member
of. That is an interesting way of putting things. But that is what building the foundations for a new world
is all about. I've known that is what I am meant to do for many years. Though, this is something I am
meant to do with others ... this is not a task to be done solo. Are these others like me, figuring out that
something is missing from there life as well and looking for others in a similar manner? It would seem
that spirit would be directing all of us to find one another.

How does one whose nature is to be so isolated impact others in the world? Is it not enough for me to
generate and share all of the words that I create and express ... or more correctly that spirit expresses
through me. And, given that spirit is responsible for this expression, is she not responsible for its
dissemination as well? Yes, but just as the expression is done through me, so the dissemination could be
done through me too. One day at a time. It seems that is the guidance for the day. Take each day one day
at a time. You will be moved to do what needs to be done. And, in the end everything will be expressed
and manifested as required. The New Civilization Network is one place to start to look for likeminded
others who have started organizations to do similar or compatible things. With over 8000 member
organizations, there must be some that have similar objectives to those of Beyond Imagination. This
could take some time. That is a lot of organizations to visit. But, they are all organizations that have
chosen to become members. Also, if I'm going to be outgoing, I need to start showing a genuine interest
in others.

8 September 2003

Another day. The proofing is going per schedule. It looks like I'll be able to send 2003 Musings - Vol II
to the publisher on Friday. That will make #8 for the year. Can we really be that close? Less than six
months ago, none of this was even in the planning stages. But here we are. So what do we do to beat
this? We've set the achievement bar quite high this year. Then again, all that matters is that we express in
the moment as we are moved to express in the moment. That is what got me here. The sense is that I can
trust this same process to work in the future as well.

Each revelation from consciousness takes us someplace new, someplace that we have never been before.
That is one thing that I can count on from this stream of consciousness ... that it will carry me into the
wilderness of the unknown. At times I have to doubt my very sanity, especially being bipolar. But, in the
end it seems that I am sane after all. No, that doesn't mean that others necessarily think as I do ... but, that
doesn't matter to me. This is not a popularity contest. I am a unique being. It is OK for me to experience
my reality in a unique way. And what works for me can work for anyone.

17
The expression is flowing slower than normal tonight. Sometimes that happens. All that we can do is go
with the flow. There is nothing that I've found that allows me to rush it. Whatever is expressed is meant
to be expressed. No more and no less. It's not like there has been a shortage of words over the past
decade. Though there have been stretches, sometimes even lengthy stretches where few words have come
forth. The final half of 1998 through the end of 2000 were like that in particular. I still don't know why.
But, I express more in a few weeks now than I did in any one of those three years. That makes me
wonder whether the expression is cyclic. But, the sense is that it is not. There are too many factors at
play for simple cycles to work anyway. That is OK. It is what it is. While the expressing is good, I'm
happy to be the vehicle through which it can happen. If the lean times ever come, we have plenty of
words to go back over and study. At this point we are at 3 million plus. I have no clue at how many more
than that.

How many words will be expressed through me in my lifetime? If the past is any indication and my 25
year future life projection is reasonable ... we ought to be able to make it to 10 million. Wow! 10 million
words in a lifetime of 35 years of expression. That's an average of 300 thousand words per year. That
doesn't leave much time to rest. Though, at some point I expect to be doing this for a living not just as a
spiritual obsession. Yes, it seems that it is somewhat of an obsession. It is something that I have to do. I
have no sense of having much control over it anymore. Not that I would choose otherwise anyway. This
expression is the most exciting part of my life. This is where I get to touch spirit firsthand and where I get
to share whom that I AM with others. However, I am finding that something is missing in this. It is not
as much fun if I don't get to share it firsthand with others ... in person. Yet, I do not know where to start in
doing this. I don't know who to engage or how to engage them. That seems to be something someone far
more outgoing would do. Can I even picture myself doing that? Or, is this something that will be done
by others that I am meant to connect with? There are many ways for things to get done. I see myself
working with an inner circle which in turn works with a much larger outer circle. Interesting. With how I
operate around people, I can't really expect to remember more than a small number of people in an inner
circle. It doesn't seem fair to address a larger audience under these terms.

I would build the foundations for a new world. In doing so, everyone is benefited whether they are aware
of it or not. It is OK for me to work behind the scenes, incognito. But then, why do I need to express as I
do here. This is clearly not incognito. Here, I open myself up to the world as much as I can. For over a
decade I have been doing this. Why has there not been more feedback? Why have more people not
responded to this expression? Surely it is not because it is not worthy of comment. Then why? Part of
the problem is that our society typically doesn't provide feedback. It is by far the exception rather than
the rule. It is time for this to change. We can't continuously improve things unless there is a feedback
path. Collectively we are responsible for pointing out waste and inefficiencies so that we can improve
these.

What next? Where do we go from here? The only thing that is certain is this expression. We should start
to see royalties next month if the books are starting to sell. We won't know until we see the invoices from
the publisher. The only book available for sale during July was Best Passages. It came out early in the
month. The November check will cover two books, and the December check three books. I don't know
whether the Published Books links at my site are having the desired effect or not. There should be some
ratio of number of hits to the Beyond Imagination Main Page to number of books sold. At this point, I
wouldn't even hazard a guess as to how many that might be.

9 September 2003

18
The ninth day of the ninth month. That should be special for one who would be a hermit. Then again,
that is what I have been to date ... not necessarily what I am to be in the future. What would come forth
today? I came very close to deciding not to express at all. But when it came down to it, I was moved to
come here after all. This is where I come to life. This is where my soul sings. This is where my spirit
soars. How could I even think to choose otherwise? Yet, when I start, there is a commitment that goes
with this. My 1000 word minimum is roughly 1.5 hours worth of expression on a normal day. So, just
choosing to come here is effectively a tithe of my time for the day just to make my minimum quota. I've
already spent nearly two hours on Beyond Imagination work ... primarily proofing 2003 Musings - Vol
II. Though, it's as if that really doesn't count. That only results in some minor corrections. Here is where
the new expression comes forth. Here is where the stream of consciousness is given the freedom to speak
as it will. Yes, this is colored by my mind as it comes forth ... but less than you might think.

There is a strong sense that I need to start doing something different than I have done before. At this
point, I don't know exactly what that is ... but the motivation is there anyway. I feel anxious and uneasy.
There is something that I could be doing to facilitate making things happen that I am not yet doing.
Further, it seems that it is something that is relatively easy ... something that even I could do. Then how
can I be so dense as to be missing it? Sometimes we have to step back from the trees to see the forest. It
seems that is the state that I am in right now. I am too close to it to see it. That's OK, I won't stay that
way for long. My natural tendency is to observe from afar. If anything, I probably err in staying too far
afar. What is it that I would do? I would build the foundations for a new world. But, what does that
mean in practical terms? What foundations need to be built? And, how do we go about building them?
We've addressed this many times throughout the Beyond Imagination material since the very first day of
expression in 1993. Society, government, educational system, and economic system are four key
foundations that need much work. They are not completely bad the way that they are. They serve a few
well, some adequately, many OK, and many poorly. This is simply not good enough. It is time that we
realize this and demand something better. Unless we do so, those in power will do what they can to retain
the status quo. This we do not have to allow. The world can be a better place. But, it will only be one if
we choose to do what it takes to make it one.

Consciousness is patiently waiting for the organizations to be created that allow it to be more fully
expressed in flesh. These organizations are groups of people cooperating together to create something
that is greater than any of the individuals could have created alone. As to what these creations will be ...
that is wide open. Ultimately were talking about goods, services, and experiences that could not
otherwise exist at a comparable cost. Where do I find the people with whom I am meant to build such
organizations? Surely they must be out there. Surely they must be looking for me even as I am looking
for them. I have trusted leaving such meetings to consciousness to arrange in the past. Is that too much to
ask? Do I need to play a more active role in this? The very fact that I am asking the question now seems
to indicate that indeed there is some role that I must play here. That is OK. I believe that I am ready to
do that now, more than I have ever been. Interesting. This seems to be part of the changes that are in
store for the times ahead. It seems that I am to play a much more active role in my own life. Part of this
is increased conscious control over the process of reality creation. I'm still not sure how much conscious
control I really want. It seems that a little goes a long way, but too much is too much. Actually, the
conscious control is there in many respects. It is just not immediate. There is a time lag between
believing something and seeing it manifest in our reality. This lag can be from months to days to hours in
some cases. It seems some people are naturally better at this than others.

Why am I not more aware of my dreams? Surely I dream. Everyone does. I must be doing something
during the eight hours plus per night that I am sleeping. Yet, with rare exceptions, I have no recall of
dreaming or of dreams that I have had. I have heard that dreams are how we integrate and digest some of
our experiences. That being the case, I would think that my dream life would be more active than most
because my spiritual life and imagination are more active than most. But, this is not what I experience.
19
In fact, I don't experience dreams involving images or vision much at all. I can count such dreams on one
hand. That is how rare my recall is of them. I do love the halfway between awake and sleep state
however, and am one to frequent the snooze button on the alarm. This keeps me in a semi-dream state,
but I don't see images. I'm not one that can close my eyes and imagine or picture things. Similarly, I can't
look at an empty room in a house and imagine what it would be like in a different color or filled with
particular furniture. That is simply not how my Mind's Eye works. Though I know of others who have
vivid imaginations and dreams.

11 September 2003

Yes, I missed a day of musing. There was no good reason for it. I was simply not moved to write ... so I
took the evening off and vegged out watching TV. Hmm ... today marks the second anniversary of a day
that lives in infamy. The horror of what a few terrorists were able to do is etched in our memories. The
visions of planes crashing into buildings and two tall towers crashing to the ground. These will stay with
us forever as we remember all those lost in this great tragedy. However, terrorism no longer seems to be
as strong of a threat. I guess that means the war on terrorism is working. Though it has been a very
costly war. But, we do what we have to. And, it seems that where we apply resources, we generally get
results ... especially when we employ our best and our brightest.

I started my day much earlier than normal today. I actually got into the office at 6:30 for a 7:00 meeting.
Most mornings, I don't even get up at that time. Actually, it wasn't that bad. I went to bed earlier than
normal and got up 15 minutes before the alarm clock was set to go off. That does make me wonder. If I
can do it one day, why can't I do it on a regular basis. Even if I used the morning time to write before
going to work, that would be a productive use of the time and would get me off to a running start each
day. There is something different about the early morning hours. The energy is different. It would be
interesting to see how that impacts what gets expressed. I won't know unless I try it. Why not? At this
point, I have nothing to lose. My time is my own anyway. I can do what I want with it.

What would be expressed today? We finished 2003 Musings - Vol II today. It is ready to go to the
publisher tomorrow. That makes eight books for 2003. That should be sufficient to ensure that we meet
our objective of eight books published in 2003. When I set it several months ago, that was a very lofty
goal. Now, it seems it is a reality. It wasn't magic. I just had to commit to do it. Then again, much about
this expression is magical. I am constantly amazed by what is able to come forth. However, it doesn't
really surprise me anymore. I have come to expect it. One can do far worse than to have spirit as an
active force in one's life.

There is a sense that today marks a new beginning somehow. Completions always involve new
beginnings. Yet, the sense is that this involves a jump into the unknown somehow. It is time to do
something different. What I have been doing has worked well to this point, but it also limits me. It is
time to do things in a manner that serves me and better serves spirit. I am free to do this now. It is a
matter of allowing it to happen. Some part of me knows exactly what needs to be done. No, clearly I
don't consciously know what this is. But, some part of me knows ... of that I am certain. Further, I trust
myself enough to allow that part to express naturally in my life. I accept the fact that my conscious
awareness of myself is limited. I accept the fact that there are parts of me that know how to do things that
I have no clue about, and further can do them well. I don't even need to know what they are for them to
work their wonders in my life. I just need to be open and allow. We are truly magnificent creatures when
we allow ourselves to be. Unfortunately, most are not aware of just how magnificent they are. This is a
shame. This is a failure of our educational system. It fails to teach us the most important thing ... whom
that we are. Perhaps it is to much to expect it to teach us this. However, it should at least point us down

20
the path toward finding it out ourselves. Know Thyself! That is the most important thing that education
should address.

I wonder whether I'll have books from the publisher to proof this weekend? It has been about two
months. The sooner my children are published the sooner they can go to work earning an income for
Beyond Imagination. We need funds to make things happen. Though, other that freeing ourself from the
current job ... we haven't thought much about what we would do if substantial funds were to start coming
in from the sales of published books. Though, I'm sure it wouldn't take long to come up with ideas for
projects ... even if we were talking about large sums. We can always hope. Who knows? With eight
books, there is the potential for substantial sales. We'll know as time unfolds.

What will I be doing six months or a year from now? I really do not know. I have no clue as to what I
will be moved to express. The sense is that it is time for a major change, but I don't know what that is to
be. 2004 is to be different than 2002 and 2003. But, how specifically is it to be different? How will this
impact how I live, how I work, and how I express? It seems that it is time for an outward thrust
somehow. This was initiated this year and will continue in the coming months. But, the bulk of it lies in
store for 2004. What will we manifest? Yes, there is a sense that by then this will truly be a WE
endeavor. Interesting. That suggests that I have some important folks to meet in the coming months. I
look forward to that. In fact, I can't wait. It's about time.

13 September 2003

Missed another day of expression. I knew I should have got an early start. I had a wisdom tooth
removed. The operation took over 3.5 hours and didn't leave me in any condition to muse for the
evening. It is not bad now ... there is a little swelling but not much pain. Though opening my mouth is a
bit difficult after having to keep it open for so long yesterday. If that is what extracting a tooth is like, I
hope never to have to undergo that again. It definitely wasn't the most pleasant of experiences.

On the positive front, Best of Notes - Books I and II were waiting for me when I got home on 9/11. I
love the covers. I did a quick proofing focusing on format issues and sent the approval forms with
correction sheets back to the publisher. Both books should hit the streets in about three weeks. That gets
us to 5 on our way to 8 for the year. I sent 2003 Musings - Vol II to the published yesterday as well.
That means the final 3 works are all at (or on the way to) the publisher. I expect the proof copy for
Beyond Imagination Quotes to arrive anytime now. The work was submitted one day after the two Best
of Notes books. I also got three original copies of 2003 Musings - Vol I with the right cover. I've been
negligent in sending copyright forms and copies to the Library of Congress. I'll have to start doing that
again.

Enough for book work. It is on track for achieving the objective of eight published books in 2003. The
bigger question is what is next? Where does this expression go from here? What are we to do to ensure
that the books reach their intended audience? Do we even know what that is? We have been expressing
for over a decade. One would think that by now we would have some idea as to whom we were
expressing to. Yet, it seems such is not the case. We express as we do, and we make that expression
available on the WWW and now as books. But, we don't know enough people to have any real clue as to
who might consume this expression. Yet, we feel strongly moved to capture it and to share it anyway.
For one thing, it provides us with a record of where this consciousness has been. And, it is a record that
we return to often. Can others benefit from what is captured as well? It seems that yes, there is great
value in surfing the waves of consciousness of others. This has the potential to expand our own states of
consciousness ... and such expansions are always good.

21
There is still a sense that it is time for an outward thrust to this expression. Posting to the WWW and
publishing books are good starts, but they are not enough. We need to personally engage with others
somehow. This is a stretch for us. In fact, I don't really know where to start. However, if it is like the rest
of my life to date, what I need to do will naturally reveal itself and unfold. Typically, I don't have to work
to make things happen, I just need to do what I am moved to do and allow them to happen. Though, don't
get me wrong ... doing what I am moved to do may require working very hard at times. That is OK. I am
not averse to hard work when it is necessary, especially when it is fulfilling work. So, what is this
outward thrust that is required? How are we to spread the word of the Beyond Imagination site and
works? What more do we need to express that would make the message more palatable to the masses? Is
that even necessary? Who are we meant to touch and in what ways? What are the best ways to go about
doing that? I can ask the questions ... but I have no clue as to the answers at the present time. Though,
usually when I am ready to ask the questions, the answers are forthcoming shortly. Whether this is a day,
a week, a month, or a season ... I don't really know.

This expression continues to be my primary outlet of expression. It seems that we will indeed have a
2003 Musings - Vol III. It won't be published until April 2004, but it will wrap up the trio of Musings
books for 2003. There is a sense that this is starting to change however, that sometime in the next four
months I will start expressing in new ways. Finishing Beyond Mind is one example. I'm sure there will
be others as I give myself the freedom to do things differently. If I could make enough from this to make
it my full time job ... who knows what I could accomplish. But, it seems that we would need some sort of
a marketing arm to take the works published as they are produced. I don't believe I'm the best person to
do that. I probably could if I had to ... but why should I have to when there are others far more suited to
doing that who can't do what I do. Here, it seems that cooperative interdependence should apply. It is
time to connect with others in a cooperatively interdependent way to start creating the foundations for a
new world in which spirit can express more fully in flesh. It is not just any revolution that we are seeking,
it is a spiritual revolution. These are both the easiest and the most difficult to achieve ... the easiest
because spirit herself is behind our endeavors, the most difficult because most individuals are not
operating from spiritual levels of awareness in their day to day lives.

We have become used to giving nearly three hours of our day to this expression. Yes, that is more than a
tithe of the total time available per day and nearly two tithes of the waking time available. That is a major
commitment. That is the reason that the productivity is as it is. Where we focus our resources, where we
focus our energy ... we achieve results. But, how do we take that the next step and expose others to these
works? Is that meant to happen? I desire it to be so? But, is that what spirit has in store? Not my will
but thine be done. I am content with whatever spirit has in store. Though there is a sense that my will is
now a tool of the will of spirit as well. As such, it can be used to do her will. In practical terms, my
obligation is to do as I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. That typically doesn't come with much
advance warning. Our lives are meant to be lived in the now. This is where the point of power lies.

It is the intensity of this expression that allows it to achieve what it does. The sense is that if this were not
a daily expression the richness of what is expressed would be greatly reduced. The regularity adds
something. Also, the nature of the expression as stream of consciousness makes it special. Since the
beginning, there has been no need to organize the material in any manner. It came through as it was
meant to come through. And it was shared as it came through. That saves a lot of work. But, that also
means that there is some intelligence that is responsible for originating all of this. I would like to say that
this "intelligence" is mine. But, that is not how I experience it ... not consciously anyway. That doesn't
mean that it isn't me. It could be that I am just not consciously aware of the source from which this
flows. I don't interact with others enough to know whether they experience what they express in this
manner as well. I expect that they do ... though they might not be aware of that either. For many, the fact
that it comes forth through their mind is sufficient to make it theirs. However, I make a distinction
between what I am consciously aware of and what I am not consciously aware of. At this time, it seems
22
the distinction is important ... at least to me. This distinction involves the limits of my awareness, and for
me, awareness is extremely important. It is what the whole process of life is all about ... ever increasing
awareness, and ever increasing expression of spirit in flesh. Though individual expression is not enough.
We are in the process of building the foundations for social expression of spirit in flesh. This will happen
through the organizations that we are able to create that facilitate this. These don't have to be large
organizations. As few as two people operating in a cooperatively interdependent way can create
something greater than either could create alone. With a dozen or a dozen dozens, the added value of
synergy is truly phenomenal. The bottom line is that it doesn't take millions or even hundreds of
thousands to create massive change. As few as dozens or hundreds may be sufficient in most areas if we
organize effectively. However ... note that it takes more than one. This expression alone, no matter how
voluminous is not sufficient to create the change that we are talking about. The most that it can do is
reach some of those who are ultimately to organize to create change and move them to take action. That
will have to be enough.

What is my role in the times to come? I will continue to express as spirit moves me to express for so long
as I am so moved. At this point I have no idea as to how long that will be. It seems that we can express
silently in musings and in books. But, we may also be moved to express more openly in interactions of
various types with others; whether that is in classes, interviews, or other promotional appearances for
Beyond Imagination. It is interesting that I consider the musings and the books silent. But, these are
unilateral expressions. They are effectively done in a vacuum. There has been limited feedback to date to
come from their expression. There is a sense that I will be moved toward more outer expression. This is
not likely to be something that I will prefer ... but it will be something that I can do competently. And,
that is good enough. It seems that my hermit nature is engrained. It is not something that I'm going to
outgrow with time. It is for me to make the best of it and use it to maximum advantage in my life. This is
not a burden or a hardship in any way. It is simply part of whom that I am ... and an important part at
that. How does one who is essentially a hermit by nature reach out to the world and interact? My chosen
method has been to capture this expression and post it at the Beyond Imagination site ... and more recently
to publish it in a series of Beyond Imagination books. The Main Page at the site gets approximately 2000
hits per year, but I don't know how many of those are repeat visits. We won't know until next month
whether people are moved to buy the Beyond Imagination books. And even then, we only have data for
the first book available for the last two weeks in July. The November accounting may be more
representative with two books available for most of August. Royalties are paid at the beginning of the
month for the month ending two months prior. The October period will be my first opportunity for a
royalty check assuming sufficient sales to reach over $20 in royalties.

I haven't done much to promote the Beyond Imagination books yet other than creating pages at the
Beyond Imagination site that announce them and doing a few things to try to bring more people to the
Beyond Imagination site. Is this enough? It was what I knew how to do. It was what was under my
control to do. To do more, I need to find ways to involve others somehow. This is always difficult for
me. Actually, it has been difficult. That doesn't mean that it has to continue to be so in the present or in
the future. The future is what we make of it. That is how the game of reality creation works. We need to
watch for disempowering beliefs and replace them with more empowering ones when we find them. We
are always free to do this. Beliefs are a matter of choice. And, it is through beliefs that our reality is
constructed.

14 September 2003

Another day in which to express as consciousness would have us express. We have 23:wayne to the right
of September and 41:Wayne to the left. That happens 12 times this year, once each month ... but this is

23
the first time that I have noticed it. Interesting that it would be in the ninth month. 2341 has come up
before. It is 925(16). Reversed we have 529 which happens to be 23 x 23. I am ever fascinated by how
numbers appear in my life in various contexts and associations. No matter how much time I spend
examining them ... there is always more to uncover and discover. Often I get to places where I don't
necessarily know the specific meaning, but I have an inner sense that I have reached what I was meant to
reach. It may take hours, days, weeks, months, or even years for the full meaning to reveal itself. But I
trust that each piece will ultimately have its place. My job is to continue to do as I am moved to do. This
includes following the trails of consciousness to wherever they lead.

My life is only partially mine. A large part has been given to the universe to do spirits bidding. I do this
willingly and joyfully. I cannot think of a more fulfilling way to live my life and expend my energies. To
date, the greatest part of this endeavor has been stream of consciousness expression that began in 1993
and continues to this day. Perhaps such will always be the case. Though the sense is that writing may not
be sufficient for much longer. Hmm ... I wonder what would come next. I'm not sure that I know how to
express other than to write. Though, if it is meant to be, it will be. I have been surprised by some of the
talents that I have found before. Why should this be any different? How would I express this stream of
consciousness other than in words? Clearly pictures and art are out of the question. But, spirit must have
something in mind to express in this manner. Then again, maybe that's just her way of shaking me up a
bit. Words seem to be perfectly adequate for conveying what is being conveyed at the moment. So long
as that is the case, it seems that they will be employed to do what they can do though me. There is no
sense that this channel is going to be turned off or even turned down anytime soon. If anything, the sense
is that it is to be turned up allowing even more to pour forth. That seems to be strictly a matter of how
much time I am willing to give to this expression. I make the choice to come here and to stay here for
some amount of time. That enables what comes through to come through as it does. I am willing to make
this choice because I am pleased by what comes forth and I know that it could not come forth in this
manner in any other way.

We speak of a vision of what is to be in the Aquarian Age. Perhaps it is time that we collect some of the
many passages that express elements of this vision and put them in one place for easy access. This is
something I can do. Further, it seems that this is something that needs to be done. Along with this vision
should be a statement of what we expect from people. Living in accord with the vision is a two way
street. Society provides services to the citizenry, but the citizenry needs to give something back to the
society in return. Actually, it is more than this ... collectively, we the people are the society. It is not some
thing that is separate from us. Similarly, we are the economy, or the labor that generates the goods and
services that the economy provides to the members of society. We do all of the work necessary to meet
the collective needs of all of us. Depending on how you look at it, you might judge us to be doing a good
job, a mediocre job, or a poor job at this. Looking at the diversity of goods and services that are readily
available on the free market ... one might think that we are doing a good job here. However, when you
consider that we have homeless people, people going hungry, sick people without medical care, people
without work etc ... we could do much better. And, that is in this country. When we look at third world
countries, the poverty, misery, and lack are far worse. Yet, who makes it their responsibility to address
this? Foreign aid rarely gets down to dealing with the problems at this level.

Each of us is responsible for our own reality. But, to what degree are we responsible for the collective
reality experienced by those around us? We create our reality both individually and en masse. We can
choose to do things that make a difference for the collective reality. We don't have to do everything. It is
enough for us to do our part. We will know what that is. It will be what feels right for us to do. It may
require a stretch beyond what we have done before. That is OK, do it anyway. The reward is well worth
it. The primary reward is an increased level of fulfillment. Beings high on the realization scale find
fulfillment to be a powerful driver for behavior. For some, it becomes the most powerful motivator.

24
What next? Where do we go from here? How do I make things happen that I want to see happen? How
do we make Beyond Imagination a positive force for change in the world ... a far more vocal and outgoing
force than we have seen to date? How do we build the foundations for a new world? How do we find the
people with whom we are meant to work on this? These questions all imply that I am to have a major role
to play in all of this. I still believe this to be true. I know that it is grandiose of me to think so ... but I am
not your average being. I wouldn't have come in with such special talents and abilities if I did not have a
special role to play. Yes, we all have special roles ... but it seems that some are more special than others.

15 September 2003

Where is the month going? It is already halfway over. That only leaves 3.5 months remaining in the
year. Actually, that is enough time to do a lot when I consider how much I've done since 1 June. It will
be interesting to see what I am moved to do and what I am moved to express in that time. It is interesting
looking over to the credenza in my office at the lineup of five Beyond Imagination books. In
chronological order, they just happen to line up in terms of increasing page count as well. 288 - 350 - 450
- 522 - 586. That's a lot of pages. But, that is only the half of it ... literally. The final three books are all
in the 560-610 range. That makes for one heck of a year. I would not have believed it possible if I did not
see it happen before my eyes. Yes, it helped that much of the work was expressed in prior years and only
needed to be collected, formatted and proofed. Though proofing is no easy task. But, someone has to do
it ... and thus far, I have been both the writer and the editor of these works. Though, I have not been
moved to do any serious editing. The material is presented as it was expressed through me. This is a
stream of consciousness expression. As such, I do not direct it or organize it. I allow it to flow as it will
trusting that it is being organized by a force greater than I know. To date, this source has not led me
astray. Indeed, she has produced works that I simply marvel at. Often, I ask how is it that such could
come forth through me? There must be a reason that I am the vessel through which the expression occurs
as it does. I must have done something right to deserve all of this. I am deeply grateful that I am the one
selected for this. Whether I volunteered or selected myself, I don't really know. Nor does it matter. What
does matter is that spirit is an active force in my life. She has been for many years, and I suspect she will
be for the remainder of my life. I have chosen to serve her in the greatest manner that I can.

At the rate that we are expressing, a week can be an eternity. There is so much to do. But we would not
do for the sake of doing. We would do because there is some spiritual benefit to be gained from what we
do. Ultimately, the sense is that this expression has that benefit though with a time lag. Is there
something that I can do about that? Is there some way I can bring the message of Beyond Imagination to
more people in a more direct way? The very fact that I'm asking the question suggests that the answer is
indeed yes. That begs the question of how? If I think about it, I'm sure that something will come to me.
How do I more fully express whom that I AM? That is what is at the heart of the issue. In doing that, I
maximize what I allow spirit to express through me. That is living at my finest. That is living in accord
with the directive - be all that you can be. This directive applies to each of us. However, there is a
collective responsibility to provide and infrastructure, an environment that facilitates this. Presently, that
does not exist. We have to work too hard to express whom that we are. This should be easier ... much
easier. It is a matter of where we choose to employ resources. How do we choose where to employ
collective resources? Right now, the only control I have is over my own time and my own attention.
Though I can impact others with my words and my deeds. In particular, as a wayshower, by my example
I demonstrate what living a life of spirit is all about. Though, we all live lives of spirit in our own way.
Many just are not aware of this. If they were, they might just make different choices in their lives.

Not that I would wish my life upon anyone. It isn't particularly difficult. But, it does have its challenges
and its trying times. It is not enough for me to lead an average or mediocre life. I know that I have been

25
given gifts that make allow me to stand apart from others ... gifts that provide me with the means to make
my mark upon the world. I would consider my life to be a failure were I not to find a way to use these
gifts in a manner that made a great difference to the world somehow. Yes, a great difference. A little
difference is not sufficient given my potential. I would assess that I am doing the right kinds of things to
have this kind of impact. The decade long expression that is Beyond Imagination is a case in point.
While it has not reached as many as I may have liked, there are still many more years to go in which its
impact may be felt ... and all the while we will have new monitions of consciousness to express and to
share. Hopefully, we will start seeing more involvement with others ... more of a communication, and
eventually the creation of a community. That is where the principles, the theory, hit the reality. Though it
seems we will find that this will be with far more fluidity than many suspect ... for the time is right for the
changes to manifest. It is time for creating the foundations for a new world. It is time for giving birth to a
new age. The dawning has gone on for long enough. It is time for the long-awaited dawn to finally
arrive. And, so it will ... in magnificent order, as befits it.

What is my role in all of this? Why am I singled out to express in this manner? No one else that I know
thinks as I do or expresses as I do. That doesn't matter. That doesn't stop me from doing what I am
moved to do. There is an inner force that drives me. This is simply something that I must do. It is an
integral part of the road towards fulfillment for me. I can't imagine what my life would be like without
this expression. It is such a huge part of my life. It is such a huge part of whom that I AM. This is how I
express to the world. It doesn't matter that the world doesn't see the expression yet ... or barely sees it.
When the time is right the word will get out and the people who are meant to find me and find this
expression will indeed do so. There is nothing that I can do to prevent that. But, at the same time it
seems that there is little that I can do to promote it either. Though that is a serious belief that I need to
deal with. As I believe, so shall I experience. It seems that there is something holding up the release of
the floodgates. I don't know what that is. But, there is a sense that everything is ready to be unleashed. It
is just a matter of pulling the plug or flipping the switch. But, I don't quite see how to do that ... and I
don't see anyone being able to help me with it. Hmm ... it seems this is something I'm just going to have
to figure out myself.

Why me? What makes me so special as to warrant such a direct relationship with consciousness herself?
The bottom line is I don't know why, I just am. This is something I simply have to accept. At times it can
be difficult to accept. But then I look at everything that has been expressed since 1993 and am blown
away by what spirit is able to produce through us. When we cooperate with consciousness, she can be
quite prolific. Not that I have anything to compare it to. I did not have any creative output expression of
my own prior to 1993. And, the only "comparable" works that I am aware of from others are in the many
books that I have read. Seeing five books displayed on my credenza and knowing that three more will be
there before the end of the year was awe inspiring. If my calculations are right, that will put us at around
4000 published pages for the year. That is phenomenal. That just about catches me up in terms of
publishing the works that have been expressed at Beyond Imagination. Further works will require
additional creative effort on my part. And here, we run into the limits of available time. That is, unless
we can find a way to free up more time for this expression. We can always find more time to do those
things that are important for us to do. It is all a matter of priorities. When you think about it, 16 hours of
waking time per day x 70 years is a lot of time to do stuff. Even if we don't get started until we are 35 as
in my case, though I did read and study a lot for the 20 years prior to that ... that still leaves 35 years to
strut our stuff and do the works of our lives. We may have to do this while we are busy doing other things
such as holding down a job and/or raising a family. But, such is what we must do. We must find what
really matters to us and find a way to do it. If we are lucky, we will find a way to make our life's work
our livelihood as well. Though, it seems that many never make it that far. That doesn't mean it can't be
done. Nor does it mean that it is difficult to do. It is just that if we want to manifest it in our lives, we
have to do what it takes to make it so.

26
At 45, my sense is that I have another 25 good years in me to do what I came to do. That is sufficient
time, but there is not much time to waste. I need to be vigilant. I need to stay focused and keep doing
those things that I am moved to do. I would hope that eventually I will be able to plan my activities for
some time in the future. However, right now, the focus is still on the here and now ... what can be done in
the present. A quarter of a century seems like a long time. However 45/70 = 9/14 = 64 percent of my life
complete. That is close to two-thirds. When you look at it that way, it is somewhat humbling. Though if
the past 10 years is any indication, we have a lot of life yet to live. In fact, we have only just begun in
many respects. 1993-2003 were the years of Beyond Imagination expression. There is a sense that 2004-
2028 are to be the years of Beyond Imagination manifestation. There is a difference between expression
and manifestation. It is the later that makes things real. That is what comes next ... reality creation. It is
time to decide what it is that we would create both individually and en masse.

It is for me to help bring forth a vision of what is to be ... and then to take the actions necessary to start
making that vision a reality in the world. Yes, this is something I can do. Hmm ... the sense is that I don't
even need anyone's help to do this. I only need my own permission, along with the belief that I can do it.
Interesting. We have been speaking of needing society and organizations. This may help, but in the
beginning the sense is that this is not necessary. You will be amazed by what one person can do. Though,
what many can do is even more amazing. So now we have the dilemma of the hermit versus society to
deal with. Would I be my own society or can I find a way to exist within a larger society? Eventually, the
later needs to be the modus operandi. However, how long can we operate in the former manner? It is
easier to operate when the resources are solely under my control. However, the resources are more
limited thereby limiting what can be accomplished. More and more, I desire to be free of such limits.

16 September 2003

The 16:Tower day in a 9:Hermit month. It will be interesting to see what that brings. There is more of a
sense of isolation than normal this month. I'm being forced to face just how alone I am not only in this
endeavor but in my life. I have done a wonderful job in isolating myself ... so wonderful that it will be a
challenge to overcome this should I finally decide that such is really what I want to do. I am very close to
making that decision. It seems that I can only do so much operating alone. I need to expand my
connections to others if my impact is going to be felt on a larger scale ... and I sense that such is destined.
It is not something that I can avoid even if I wanted to ... which I don't. I would do what I must do to
achieve the purposes that I came to fulfill. My sense is that at least some of these involve others in some
capacity. Where do I go to find these others? What can I do to accelerate or facilitate what we are meant
to do together? Things will unfold in their own timing. They cannot be rushed. They will happen when
the time is right and not until. That answer is not really an answer however. It leaves me in an indefinite
waiting loop. Though I have been in this loop for a long time ... and that has not stopped me from
expressing what needed to be expressed through me. Why should now be any different. It is enough to
continue to express as I am moved to express. It is enough to give this stream of consciousness that
would express through me voice. In doing that, I do my part somehow. Oh, I may be moved to do other
things a well. But this is one thing that is easy for me to continue to do. All that it takes is the discipline
to set aside the time to come here each day to express. And, what else do I have to do with my time that is
of comparable importance? The bottom line is nothing.

There is something about capturing a record of my consciousness on a regular basis that is important
somehow. This is an augmentation to my memory ... capturing things that I would never remember
otherwise. I benefit from being able to go back as see what was expressed. I would hope that others
would benefit from seeing the perspective of a different consciousness ... one captured in daily snapshots.
I know that it would have helped me to read such works as mine when I was growing up to give me some

27
idea as to what consciousness was capable of. It would have stretched my concepts even more than they
were stretched by the many metaphysical books that I read. But, I had to wait until I could generate them
to be able to read them. Interesting. But this seems appropriate somehow. It is as if I am creating the
very reality that I need to experience. And, not surprisingly, that is exactly what I am doing. But, not just
me, that is what are all doing. Everything that happens in our lives is drawn there by our beliefs about
ourselves, our world, our reality, and reality creation. We experience what we expect to experience, what
we believe that we will experience.

In about three weeks we'll jump from three published books to five published books. It takes that long for
the publisher to implement the final changes. Then we are down to three remaining books for the year.
The proof copy for Quotes should arrive from the publisher at anytime. The Search for Center follows
that by about three weeks. And, 2003 Musing - Vol II should be ready to proof around Thanksgiving.
That rounds out the year. Though, I expect to finish Beyond Mind in the next two months as well. Then,
it seems that it is time to do some soul searching and see what works are meant to happen next. It seems
that things are sort of wide open. There are many potential directions to head in but only some of them
are right for me at this time. I trust that I will recognize what these are when I see them. There is a part
of me that knows. I have learned to access this part and give it voice in my life. It generally comes from
inside via my intuition. Will there be some point in time where metaphysical author becomes my primary
job rather than systems engineer? How many books must I write to make that so? Is any quantity
enough? What makes a successful author? Clearly, it is not having books published. Similarly, what
makes a successful writer? Clearly, it is not number of words expressed. What else is needed? What else
is there that I must do? One sense is that we can wait and see. But, another sense says that it is in our
hands to do something now. We create our own reality. It is time to make something happen. It doesn't
really matter what at this point. Something, ... anything is enough. But what would we do different than
the things that we are already doing. Unless we do something different, we will keep getting what we
have always gotten. If we want something new we must stretch somehow ... we must become more than
we ever were before. In doing so we reach new heights of self and new heights of expression.

Consciousness is my rock. She is my foundation. With her, I soar to heights Beyond Imagination and
dream of things that have never been. Yet I know that my dreams foretell of a time to come, and of a
world to come. It is there just beyond my grasp but it is there just as vivid and real as anything in this
world. It calls to me to assist in giving it form, to assist in planting it firmly on the ground, to assist in
making it real. Can I do this? Are there practical steps that I can take to accomplish these? Is this what I
am meant to do? I would do what I am moved to do. I would do what I am destined to do. And, I would
do it gladly. But, what is it that I am destined to do? How am I to know this other than seeing it happen
as it unfolds in my life? It seems that it is about time for me to know. I want to know. I believe that I
could be is greater service if I knew. At some level, the sense is that I already know this. It is just a
matter of making the knowledge conscious. Interesting, I'm barely conscious as I am writing this. It
makes for some interesting errors to correct.

Just checked ... using Google to search for Wayne Hartman or for Beyond Imagination results highly
ranked entries of the Index page. One of them was at the top of the list. That surprised me considering
that I still have limited connectivity from external sources. But how would anyone know to search for me
that way unless they already knew me? Hmm ... just tried "Reality Creation". That will get you to
Reality Creation 1010, number 3 on the list. There are other standard phrases that I use, but it seems that
many of them are used by others as well. I AM THAT I AM THAT YOU ARE! is one of these. In
Peace, Love, and Light is another. The only one that seemed to be unique was one that I started with
when the expression began -- Be Happy and Create Well! It seems that no one else is using that one
yet. Searching is definitely a challenging way of finding information. It can also be time consuming and
even wasteful if we are not careful in how we do it. Though as long as we are getting results and enjoying
the process, that is all that really counts.
28
I can find my own material because I know what to look for. But have I made it easy for someone who
might have no clue that this material is out there to come into contact with it. Having to rely on the hit
and miss nature of search engines seems wrong somehow. I should have more input and more control
over the process than that. That means that I need to find ways of exposing people to what is at the
Beyond Imagination site. How do I go about doing that? The site clearly is not for everyone. But, what
subset of people does it target? What is the candidate audience for what it has to offer? This does not
mean they will all necessarily be interested in what is offered, but they should be given the chance to
explore and decide for themselves if the site has anything to offer them. I have given a lot of myself to
this expression. That should be obvious. I continue to give in this manner because it is the one thing that
I know that I can do that I feel to be of lasting value. There is a sense that this will change in the coming
months, that somehow we shall start to be involved in organizations that are established to do things to
create the foundations for a new world. We are not asking for much. We ask that our efforts make a
difference, that they have world impact somehow. Yes, that is a lot to ask of anyone. At the same time ...
we are not just anyone. We came with a specific purpose and mission ... one that would ultimately impact
the world in a highly positive way. Nothing can keep us from doing what we came to do. We are that
committed to carrying out our mission in this existence.

How can I know all of this? How do I know that I am not deceiving myself and wasting my life working
towards something that I don't really need to be doing? I only know what I feel and what I know deep
inside of me. I would be whom that I AM. I would do that which I came to do. Sometimes I know what
that is ... often I do not. But, I know that I can count on my inner self to let me know what I need to know
when I need to know it. This is a powerful process to have working for you in your life. Many are not
connected to their inner self. Further, many who are connected have not found a knowing source and/or
have not developed a level of trust. All in good time. But, the sooner the better. We need to have spirit
operating in our corner ... completely, especially given the complexities of the world in which we live.

I speak with a voice that seems to have experience that extends beyond my years and beyond my current
lifes experiences. How can this be. How is it that I know what I know? How is it that so much of this
expression is expressed in the declarative? There is no preceding it with "in my opinion" or "I have
observed that" or "perhaps things work like". No, what is stated is emphatic. It is what it is. It is not
wishy-washy in stating what would be expressed. For ten years we have been coming here to allow the
source of this stream of consciousness to be expressed through us. Will we continue to do that for another
ten years ... another twenty-five years ... to the end of our days? We can only watch the drama unfold and
see what happens. But, what about free will? Don't I have a role in creating all of this? Hmm ... does a
pencil have a role in creating what is written on a page? Yes, it is a necessary instrument. But, do I truly
have a choice not to express? That would be like asking me not to breathe. Maybe worse ... this
expression is that important to me. There is a very real sense that I would die spiritually without it.
Perhaps that is too harsh an assessment. But the spiritual is far stronger than any other force in my life
and has been for some time.

17 September 2003

The collection of musings continues to grow. How long this will continue I do not know. What I do
know is that this is my preferred mode of expression at the moment. So long as that is the case, I will
continue to do it ... anxiously awaiting what is to come forth. It is just as much of a surprise to me as it is
to you. I never really know what is to come forth next. I just keep an open mind and allow the stream of
consciousness to go where it will. Since the New Musings began in 1998 we have had:

1998 26

29
1999 25
2000 8
2001 8
2002 304
2003* 234

Clearly, something changed in 2002. All of a sudden the expression changed dramatically in both
quantity and quality. We still have over 100 days remaining in 2003*, so we should be able to match or
exceed the count for 2002. The total count is 601 musings. Today's musing makes 602. It is curious that
I am moved to count them at this time. Hmm ... 23-5 is W-E. How appropriate. In a very real way, this
expression has been the record of my transformation from a me to a we focus. Don't get me wrong. I still
speak in the first person singular a lot, primarily because that is what I know firsthand. But, I would also
speak for the society that I would help to create ... even though I have not yet met the other members of
this society, as far as I know anyway. What does one get from a pattern like that? 26 - 25 - 8 - 8 - 304 -
234. There are nearly two orders of magnitude difference between the most expressive and the least
expressive years. And, it is not like there were other avenues of expression in 2000 and 2001 that were
taking up my time. Further, the expression has continued into 2003 despite all the effort to get books
ready to be submitted for publishing. 2003 has truly been a phenomenal year. It will be one that is
difficult to top. Though it seems that spirit has things in store for us that make this pale by comparison.
Can that be true? I sense it strongly. One way or another, we shall see soon enough. It does make you
wonder what 2004 and 2005 will bring. The years seem to be manifesting as pairs. I don't know why.
That is just the pattern from the few data points to date. We have reached close to a top end however.
Given that we record the musings daily, the most we can do is 365. That would be if we mused every
day. On average it seems that we take about 1 in 9 days off for various reasons dropping this to around
320. We didn't quite make this last year, but we came close.

Why do I push myself to do all of this? It is just something that I must do. This is what I came to do.
This is what I live for. This is what I am willing to give my life for. Yes, that is exactly what I am doing.
I am choosing to give three hours per day or more of my life to this expression. It has become the most
important three hours of my day. It is the part that I know will live on long after I am gone. But, this is
only true if I make the necessary provisions for it to. While I am alive, I can manage the web site, the
daily expression, and the book work. But, who would do this if I were gone? How would the work of
Beyond Imagination live on? In this work, I am creating something that is more than me ... something
that has the potential to impact many. But it can only do so if it is freely shared in an environment of
openness. The WWW provides an opportunity for that. It allows us to express as we will and to reach
large audiences potentially. Actually, do I even push at all? I follow the direction of a force inside of me,
a force that I choose not to resist, a force that has not led me astray to date as far as I can tell. It is spirits
bidding that I do. With her on my side I know that I can be assured that my actions are right.

What am I moved to do next? The medications are making me so groggy that it is difficult staying awake
this week. The wisdom tooth removal last Friday definitely placed a major stress on the mind/body. The
antibiotics and the painkillers alleviate some stress, but they have side effects of their own ... especially
interacting with my other medications. I can tell that something is off kilter. I am feeling things that I
normally do not feel. The general tiredness is the most difficult to deal with. Nearly all of the
medications have drowsiness as a side effect. It is difficult to work when you are fighting to stay awake.
Though, it is not clear that there is anything that I can do about it until the healing process takes its
course. Deal with it. We have no choice but to make the best of the cards that we are dealt. It is not clear
that we can do anything to change that.

30
To do each day at least one thing that will live on. To say each day one memorable thing that has never
been said before. To express each day something new ... something that has never before seen the light of
day. If we do this, each day we will have done something that makes a difference. And in the end it is
such things that really matter. The differences that we have made not only in our lives but the lives of
others are what truly matter. It only makes sense that we should focus our energies on these. Much that
we do is ultimately for naught in the grander scheme of things. But, some things matter. We need to find
what these are and do them wholeheartedly.

I still live a very isolated existence. It seems that this needs to change ... yet, I'm not seeing any real signs
that it is going to change significantly anytime soon. There is nothing that I am doing that I know of that
will result in substantial change. That doesn't mean things are not happening outside of my direct
awareness. They very well could be. I don't really know what to look for here. However, there is a
growing sense that if I don't do things differently, I'm just going to experience more of the same. And,
that is not what I want. It is time to get a life and start interacting with others in meaningful ways. I can
always retreat back to my solitary ways if I don't like what I find. But, everything tells me that I will love
working in meaningful and synergistic ways with others. It seems that it is time for a realistic assessment
of whom that I AM and what I have to offer. I am clearly a unique individual with special talents and
skills. Further, it is clear that I came into this existence to carry out a particular mission, one that happens
to be quite grandiose, but one that is suited to the special talents and skills that I possess. I would build
the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. Is that asking for too
much? Is that not what a new age promises ... what a new age demands? If not me whom? Why not
me? I see that it is something that needs to be done, and it seems that I have the qualifications necessary
to carry it out ... why not me? That means that I need to find a way to free myself from the economic
prison somehow. I need to find a way to be paid for the services that I would provide of my own rather
than for the services that others would demand of me. Is this actually necessary? Can I not do as Jesus
said ... and render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is Gods? Can I not continue to
partition my time as I have for the past decade? Perhaps I could ... but now we are talking about elegance
and effectiveness. And for this, I need to be able to focus my efforts on the work that spirit would have
me do. I have a decade of practice and proof of what I can accomplish on a part time basis. Here, we're
talking about stepping up the pace and committing to this fully.

Can I do that? I can if the appropriate compensation is forthcoming. The Beyond Imagination books
have the potential to be a source of funds. But, how long this will take and whether it will actually
happen are still in spirits hands. I still live day to day, reacting to what spirit presents to me in the
moment. Plans have little place in such an existence. Our vision only extends out one step at a time ...
and that is how we live our live, one step after the next trusting that spirit is guiding us every step of the
way. But is this the only way to live? Is this even a good way to live? Would it be better to know where
we were going so that we could plan for it? Perhaps, but what good does it do to think in such a manner.
Such is simply not my way. I am a wayshower. I explore the unknown. For that, there is no other way
but one step at a time. In our case, the unknown is the unknown of consciousness. That is the high
country, the frontier, the edge of our awareness. I like operating on the edge. I like questioning my on
sanity on occasion. It is good for the soul. Life is meant to be a challenge. For many, it is a physical,
mental, or emotional challenge. For a lesser number, it is a spiritual challenge. I am definitely in this
later group. Life to me is a spiritual adventure or it is nothing. There is no gray here ... not for me. The
spiritual colors everything that I do, everything that I see, everything that I experience, everything that I
am. I know that it is not like this for others. That is OK. That is a large part of what makes me different
and it is this difference that drives me to do the things that I do and believe the things that I believe.

What can I do to facilitate my date with destiny? That is an interesting question. It presumes that there is
such a date. It presumes that there is something I can do to facilitate it. I strongly believe that both of
these presumptions are valid. My destiny is written in my aura, in my numbers, in the stars, and in any
31
number of ways that I have already encountered in my life. These were specific enough to know that my
talents are in the 1 in a million or better range. That puts me in rare company on the planet. I know that I
came to do specific things to help make the social infrastructures flow more smoothly so that spirit could
more fully express through the organizations that are manifested on the planet. Government, the
economy, the educational system, the religious institutions are all organizations that fall under this
umbrella. No, this doesn't mean that I personally know what it takes to make them all better. But, I have
some ideas. In most cases, we need to convene the best and the brightest where we can to come up with
workable solutions for the 21st century and beyond. There are no problems that are too big for us to
tackle. We just need to be willing to do what it takes to do the right things.

18 September 2003

Back again. We just can't resist coming here to express what spirit would express through us. Got
approved to be a member of the Seth Webring. It seems that six to seven million people have read and
been moved by Seth's material. That is good. That means there is hope. Further, that means there may be
far more people open to what I have expressed than I had hoped or dreamed possible. Being part of the
ring may be a way to pull more people to the Beyond Imagination site. It can't hurt anyway. We need to
be doing things to make connections such as this. Seth is a very positive a powerful connection. His
influence pervades much of this work anyway. I got started early on the Seth Material, starting in 1974. I
found my wife via a group that I started to discuss the Seth material. At its height the group only had four
people. I married my wife 100 days after I met her. When I am moved to do something, I am moved to
do it. There is no place for chance in my worldview. Things happen by design because we choose for
them to. We create our own reality both individually and en masse.

How good is this material? What would I compare it to? The bottom line is that it is what it is. And,
whatever that is is the best that could come forth though me at this time. As such, it is worthy of being
shared, and worthy of being consumed. I can do what I can to make it available and share it here on these
pages ... but, consumption is a decision that others must make based on exposure and an awareness that
the expression exists. How do we make people aware of this? It seems that this is one of my tasks in this
existence ... but it is not one that I relish. There is no place that I can go and turn this material in and have
them assess just how good it is. It would be nice if there was, but it is simply not that simple. Hmm ...
this is an interesting line of thought. In general, for nearly everything that we do there needs to be a way
to assess its quality and its utility. We need to know who benefits from it and how they benefit? After all,
is that not what service is all about ... deliver benefits to others?

Compare not what you do to what others do. You are doing what you need to do in the way you need to
be doing it. Such is how life unfolds for you. You could not operate in any other fashion. While this is
true for you ... this is by virtue of your level of awareness; it is not true overall for everyone. Further, it is
not clear that it ever will be. It s not clear that we will ever make it to the point where all are sufficiently
aware to lead lives of light ... lives of spirit, in this existence. Perhaps such a time will come some day
but my sense is that I will not be around to see it. It must be enough for me to see a core group operating
in this manner. Such a group will serve as a prototype that can demonstrate to the world what is possible.
The challenge will be to go from what is possible to what is probable to what is reality for everyone. But,
is it right for us to impose anything on everyone? That is not what we are asking to do here. This is not
an imposition. This is the establishment of a new way of being. There is a difference. What makes me
think I know what is right for society any better than anyone else? All that I know for certain is that I am
moved to care enough in this area to express what would come forth through me. Clearly, I don't speak
from experience in this existence. Socially, I have so little that I would not be qualified to comment on
social matters. But, that doesn't stop me from speaking my mind. Why is that? Why do I allow myself to

32
do this? Why do I speak out in this manner ... especially given that I have no clue as to who will hear
me? The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter whether anyone hears or not. It does matter that I
express what I am moved to express. Each time I do this, I reinforce a connection with source, a
connection with the spirit within. I affirm that it is the inner and not the outer that matters most in my
life. Though I am reaching a stage in my life where that is not enough. It is time for the inner to be made
manifest in the outer. I have a role to play in doing that. It is up to me to do what it takes to make that
happen.

There is a reason that I came into this physical existence. There is a purpose that I came to fulfill.
Expressing spirit in flesh to the greatest degree that I can at this time on this planet is a major part of that.
But how do I do that? Obviously, I do not need to be in the best of physical shape to accomplish this. I've
been expressing pretty well for nearly two years and am far from being in optimal shape. I would rate my
overall health as good. I don't think that I've been out sick a single day in the past two years. But being
healthy and being happy are two different things. Similarly, being aware and being happy are different
things. Being happy seems to be elusive for me. It has always been thus. It is like I get an occasional
taste of it, but most of the time it is out of my grasp. That is OK. Having things just outside of our grasp
gives us something to strive for. But, every now and then we need a success to show us that what we
desire is possible to achieve. What would it take for me to be happy? If I don't know, how can I expect
the universe to come forth with the right conditions? More money and more things or bigger and better
things don't do it for me. More spiritual expression ... I already have the equivalent of a half time job,
three published books and five more in the works, plus several thousands of pages at my Beyond
Imagination site. How much more expression do I need? More and improved relationships ... yes, this is
one area that is pretty dismal in my life. My insistence on being a hermit has not helped here. Though it
seems that this is starting to change.

Happiness is a choice that we make! It is an attitude that we carry with us as we approach the events of
our lives. Then, why am I not choosing to be happy much more of the time? I am engaged for several
hours per day in work that challenges all that I am ... that allows me to express things I never knew that I
knew in many cases. This says a lot about the nature of whom that we are. Our souls are wise beings that
know far more than we can begin to contain within the gray matter of our brains. Why do we let
circumstances get in the way of our happiness? Circumstances are temporary, they can be changed.
Beingness is permanent. We are forever. There is nothing that we can do that will cause us to cease to
be. Oh, these temporal bodies may wither and die, returning dust to dust ... but there is a spirit inside that
is infinite and eternal, and that is inviolate. It is these things regardless of what the temporal forms
experience. Remember, experiencing something does not necessarily make it real ... it only makes it
experienced. So, what does it take to Be Happy? That indeed is a question worth living for. For me, I
have found that it helps to listen well to the voice within, and to do as I am moved to do when I am moved
to do it. There is great satisfaction that comes from doing this. And satisfaction is akin to happiness. It is
in the same family anyway. I close each of these musings with the same admonitions. I've been using Be
Happy and Create Well nearly as long as I've been expressing. It just seemed like the right thing to say. If
you're going to be something, happy seems to be as good as anything. And create well acknowledges
our part as the creators of our own reality. If we are going to create, we might as well do it well! Even
after over a decade, it still seems like the natural thing for me to say.

19 September 2003

A new day. Another opportunity to express. And, once again we are moved to come here and do just
that. This has become a habit of late. The particular times and the durations may vary ... but nearly
everyday we engage in this stream of consciousness expression. It is clearly a highly valued activity in

33
our day. Otherwise it wouldn't get the attention and the resources that it does. This is the one thing that
we do that has the potential to survive long after we are dead and gone. The expression that is captured
here is captured forever ... or at least for as long as it has utility in the world. And, it seems that I am not
to be the judge of that. My job is to bring forth what I can and to make it available. It is for others to
disseminate it, consume it, and use it as appropriate. Can I be happy doing my job in a vacuum, without
seeing the ultimate results that it assists in producing? If I have to ... such I will do. But, my sense is that
I will see the principles come to life in action ... and I will see some of the results that are created from
this. At this point it is just an inner feeling. But, I have learned to trust such inner feelings. Besides,
what else do I have to go by? The "reality" of the consensus world does not conform with my
understanding of how things work. I live in a world that is primarily spiritual that happens to be having a
physical expression at the moment. This is a matter of attitude. This colors how I look at everything. In
fact, this even determines what I decide to look at as important at all. I have very strong spiritual
blinders. Unless something has a strong spiritual component, it just doesn't get through these filters. This
wasn't always the case. But it has been for many years now.

We all use filters to make our lives simpler by eliminating the things that we simply don't want to see. We
only have so much time. Filters allow us to focus that time on those things that are most important to us.
We create filters via beliefs, primarily beliefs about what things mean and what things are important to
us. We need to be careful though. In doing this, we are effectively constructing our reality to conform
with our filters. That doesn't mean that this reality is indeed real or even good in any absolute sense. We
need to be open and flexible and evaluate it for utility. We can literally change the world that we
experience by changing our filters. They are that powerful. There is no one objective world that
everyone experiences. We each have our own subjective experiences ... and you might be surprised at just
how subjective these are. Oh, there is a common natural backdrop to our experiences. But on top of that
backdrop we display incredible freedom and creativity to produce whatever we desire to experience.
However, much of this happens on other than conscious levels. We haven't yet learned to be the
conscious creators that we could be. That would require the acceptance of far more responsibility than
most have been willing to accept. But that doesn't matter. This is indeed the direction that we are moving
in ... toward conscious creation of what we experience. Along with that comes conscious responsibility
not only for what our choices do to us, but for what they do to others and society as a whole. Either we
are responsible or we are not. Either we create our own reality or we do not. There is no room for gray
areas here. I believe that we are responsible and we do create our own reality. Though, I allow that a
greater part of myself of which I am not yet consciously aware is still doing much of the creating. This
will change as I move further on the path towards knowing myself. For now, it is enough to know that I
am responsible and I am creating the reality that I experience. If I don't like it, my beliefs are the place to
go to effect the changes necessary to create something different. That is how the process works.

It's been another lazy kind of day. With the medications for my extracted wisdom tooth added to my
normal suite of medications ... staying awake was a major challenge this week. But, we made it. A
couple more hours and a two hour drive and the week is history. I wonder whether Beyond Imagination
Quotes will be waiting for me to proof. It should be, but who knows. That would make book number six
for the year with two more already in the publishers hands. I'm going to have to do something to
publicize the books. I don't know what that is yet. But, somehow I need to announce that the works exist
to a lot of people. One company that does this for authors has contacted me via e-mail, but something
doesn't feel right about it. I'm not sure why. It's not like I have much of a clue of what I am doing in this
area. I've done what I can to announce the published books at the Beyond Imagination site. However, I
don't know how many people that is reaching. The main page of the site only gets about 6-7 hits per day
... not a lot of traffic overall. That's another area we need to work on. It seems that the traffic that the site
receives is not indicative of the value of the material at the site. There is a lot of material expressed at
Beyond Imagination that has the potential to serve a lot of people. How do we let them know that the site
exists and what it contains so that we might entice them to visit and explore what we have to offer? Is
34
that expecting too much. We have given a lot of ourselves to share all that is expressed at Beyond
Imagination. All that we ask is that our sharing is not for naught ... that we find an appropriate audience
that might benefit from what spirit has so freely shared through us. Part of the problem is that people
might not know that sites such as this exist hence would not even be searching for them. If you've found
us ... please don't keep the information to yourself. Please share it with others who you feel might benefit
from it as well. Word of mouth advertising is still among the best that there is. Your efforts in this regard
are greatly appreciated.

Speaking of connections, if you have a related site and want to exchange links, I am open to doing that.
Let me know the URL and a brief description of the site and I'll add it to my links page. Links are how
we build interconnectivity in our webs of information. I don't know the degree to which people follow
links to explore the WWW, but that is one avenue that is available. Personally, I spend far more time
generating and posting information to the WWW than consuming it. But, that is just me. Someone must
be reading all of the material that is generated. It is amazing that we live in an age where the freedom of
information is so clearly manifested. I can generate this now and within minutes of finishing post the file
to a server in Monterey which makes it available to anyone in the world who knows the URL or who
accesses an additional updated file that I post that has a link to this file. In this case, I have a main file
where my daily musings are posted. New dates (links) are added nearly daily.

This does bring up a difficulty with the WWW. There is so much information available. How do we tell
what information is right? How do we tell what information is good? How do we quickly find
information relevant to what we want to know? The questions are endless. Who is turning the
information into knowledge and the knowledge into wisdom? Information on it's own has limited utility.
It needs a context to give it meaning. Who provides such contexts? This seems to be a skill that few
seem to have. That makes it a valuable commodity or service. Hmm ... it seems that this is where I come
into the picture. At Beyond Imagination we provide more than information. Though, it is not clear what
to call what we provide. Most of the material is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, I didn't
consciously organize it or even create it for that matter. It just happened. It just came forth ... much as it
is coming forth now. I am present, watching it happen. But, I have no awareness of being the entity that
is responsible for doing it. This I believe to be spirit herself, the one consciousness that animates us all.

One of the primary benefits of the Beyond Imagination experience is that you get to walk where my
consciousness has walked for awhile. That is possible because I was moved to capture this state for so
many hours over the days, weeks, months, and years. I find it interesting to go back and read where I was
at a particular point in time. It amazes me that even after a decade of doing this, the experience is always
fresh and new. It doesn't matter how many times I've read a particular passage. When I read it again, it is
as if it is the very first time. That should not be possible. But, that is what I experience. I try to stay
away from speculating about what is possible and what is not possible. Whenever we do this, we
needlessly limit ourselves. It is better to free ourselves from such limits wherever we can. This is always
our choice to make. It is for us to make it wisely.

What would I do next? Those five frequent words. Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to
do it. And the standard response. But, what does this mean in practical terms here and now? Obviously,
I'm still musing ... so this is one of the things that I am moved to do. I'm still primarily alone ... so I
haven't taken any action to break out of my shell. I've only sold two books at work and only a dozen
people or so are even aware that I have published them. Then again, why should I expect them to be
interested? They have their own lives to lead. In seven years of working here, I've only gotten close
enough to a few people to even discuss metaphysics. That side of my life has remained hidden. Why
should I expect things to change now? For one thing, because I want them to. I choose to live my life
more congruently with what I believe. That means expressing it to an even greater degree than I have.
That is OK. This is whom that I AM coming out in a way that I never have before. It is about time. We
35
are already 45. How long do we have to wait to fully express who we are? It seems that it won't be much
longer. We have finally come of age as it were. How appropriate for a new age. It will be interesting to
see what transpires in the coming weeks and months. We're asking to do things in ways that we have
never done them. We're asking to interact with others in ways that are new as well. Are we really up to
this? That is asking a lot. However, the alternatives are not acceptable. We have lived alone in this life
for far longer than was absolutely necessary. That was a choice that we made ... but it does not have to
continue a moment longer. Reality creation is that strong. We can change our reality in an instant. It is a
matter of choice, a matter of choosing to believe differently about ourself and how we express.

20 September 2003

The proof copy of Beyond Imagination Quotes was indeed waiting for me when I got home. I'll
generate the corrections page tomorrow and fax in the approval form. The only corrections at this point
are formatting ones. I did the major proofing before sending the book to the publisher. I'm not going to
do that again. The return on investment in terms of errors corrected per hour is just not there. That means
as of tomorrow, I will have done all that I can do to get six of eight books published. Not bad considering
we still have three months left in the year.

However, the next question is what is the next step? So, we have books published. How do we generate
book sales? It doesn't do much good to have all this information readily available in this format if there
isn't anyone meant to consume it. What does the material do for whom? That is a reasonable question to
ask. What can one expect to gain as a result of reading the Beyond Imagination books? For one thing
you get to experience the stream of consciousness of one who has become aware to a greater degree than
most. I liken this to the journal of an explorer of old describing the wilderness he encountered. Only, my
wilderness is the wilderness of consciousness. What I am able to bring forth is the most faithful rendering
of what I have been able to experience. This is not such an easy area to explore. The realm of
consciousness is connected to the mind but extends far beyond the limits of the brain and the mind. There
is so much that we are not conscious of. Even basic functions regarding how our bodies and minds
operate are beyond our understanding. It is amazing that this would be the case. Yet, overall we have no
problem functioning. It doesn't matter that we don't know how we are going to end a sentence when we
start it. We can begin to utter it anyway trusting the basic nature of our self to come through to finish it
appropriately. We don't have to worry about breathing or keeping our heart beating, these processes occur
quite naturally. However, we do need to be concerned about health and overall body image. What are we
comfortable with? What do we want to express? What statement do we want to make about whom that
we are? Our body is one of our most intimate creations. It seems that we should be making choices that
keep it in synch with our image of what we want it to be. I'm one to talk. I'm about 50 pounds more than
a comfortable weight at the moment. That's a lot of calories to burn. What does it take to motivate me to
do it? I've tried several diets. They seem to work for awhile and then I'm back up to my old weight.
What would move me to make a lifestyle change that supports this? That seems to be what is ultimately
required.

It has been an outstanding year for Beyond Imagination in terms of productivity. With the exception of
making this a fulltime job, I can't see how I could be much more productive. However, it is not clear that
producing and publishing more words is what is needed anymore. We need to take a leap in a different
direction and start doing things that get the world out. One thing that might help is a Beyond Imagination
introduction package ... maybe 10 pages of so of passages and description of Beyond Imagination works.
I'm really out of my element here. These are not your average books. The material at the Beyond
Imagination site is not for everyone. I know that. It will take special methods to find the audience for
which the books were published. Interesting ... were published is indeed correct. As the material was

36
coming forth there was no indication as to whom the material was intended. Though, I did have an
Editors/Publishers Sought page where I described a variety of books that might be created from the
Beyond Imagination material. It is interesting that I was moved to generate many of these this year.
Interesting, but not surprising. Beyond Imagination has been primarily a solo activity. Though, I did get
some help with The Search for Center Newsletter. Why was it necessary to create and publish so many
books this year? It just was. I did what I was moved to do. Also, the universe kicked in and provided
some much needed funds at an opportune time. Everything just seemed right. It still does. Patience.
There is an overwhelming feeling that I need to be doing more. Yet, at the same time the guidance is to be
patient. Things will unfold in their proper timing. You are in spirits hands now. She would not lead you
astray. Continue to do as you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. As you do so, you will be
doing exactly those things that need to be done by you. Allow others to do their parts as well. Hmm ... I
wonder where that came from? What others are we talking about? You are here to express. You are
doing that. Though, is not part of expression to ensure that the communication reaches its intended
audience? Actually no, that is not a necessary part of expression. It often occurs concurrently, but not
always. So, could it be that there are others who are to help ensure that the expression that is Beyond
Imagination reaches others? If so, when will I find them or they find me? Patience. Patience. Patience.
Spirit will not be rushed. It may seem that the timing of things is urgent, but it is not so urgent as it
seems. Things are unfolding exactly as they need to unfold. There is nothing that you have to do
differently. Though there are things that you might choose to do differently that could facilitate the work
that Beyond Imagination is doing. OK, you've peaked my curiosity, what things? Look for opportunities
to express what you know to audiences of any size. This can be informally or formally.

21 September 2003

OK. We've committed. Just faxed the proof corrections and the approval form for Beyond Imagination
Quotes to the publisher. That makes number six. The remaining two for the year are already in the
publishers hands as well. The final one went out just over a week ago. That is still a remarkable feat.
Eight published books in one year ... all non-fiction, many of them above 500 pages. Though, I did have a
decade's worth of expression to call on. I can easily see adding another four or five books in 2004 at the
pace that I am going ... perhaps more depending on where the expression takes me. There is not a whole
lot of prior work to call on; at least not without significant massaging and new work to tie it together in
new ways. That may or may not be on the agenda. At this point, I simply don't know what 2004 will
bring. But, I am anxious to see. 2002 and 2003 have been such spectacular years for expression. And
there do not seem to be any signs that this is going to let up anytime soon. 2004 is just over three months
away. At the pace the weeks have been flying by, that is simply no time. Yet, on the other hand, it is over
1/4 of the year. That over 25 percent. That is a lot of time to continue doing things. And we are. We're
working on annotating Beyond Mind and continuing with the nearly daily musings that will ultimately
flow into 2003 Musing - Vol 3. Those should be the first two books for 2004. That is, unless something
else comes up in the next couple months that I just have to do. It could happen. It has happened before.

Then, there is the publicizing side of the picture. How do we get the word of the Beyond Imagination site
and the Beyond Imagination works out to those who might benefit from them? This is an area I am
definitely weak in. I was hoping by now to find others who might be stronger in this area to join forces
with. However, it is not clear whether that will happen or not. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking.
Perhaps it was operating out of a fear of doing this myself. But what is there to fear? What I am offering
to share is whom that I am, what I have experienced, and what I know. That is a lot. And, hence is worth
a lot. I've made most of the material available for free so people can sample what they will be getting.
Also, I didn't want finances to preclude people from benefiting from the material. All that I ask is that
people abide by the rule from The Lion King - never take more than you give. Whenever you take

37
something, anything, from anywhere ... make sure that you pay for it by giving back more than its worth
somewhere in your life. This doesn't always involve a direct payback to the source from which you took
originally. Allow spirit to ensure that the circles eventually return appropriately.

We are energy generators. One form of energy is these very words of this very expression. Captured and
shared, this material has the potential to impact many. Whether it will or not seems to depend on a
number of things some of which I have control over and some of which I don't (or don't seem to
anyway). I can capture the material in web pages. I can post the material to the WWW. I can package
parts of the material and publish it as books. These are all within my power as I have demonstrated over
the past decade. Though, the actual publishing has only really occurred since mid-July of this year. We
have not had enough time to see just what kind of impact this will have. Though, my statement showed
the first two weeks of sales at the end of July were nil. I don't know what to expect in this area. I only
know that I was strongly moved to publish the books ... all of them. Once that I knew that I could do it, it
became more than a possibility ... it became a reality awaiting actualization. I knew there was nothing
that could stop me from doing what I set out to do. This was all under my control. Though the help from
the universe with the finances to publish three books was definitely a godsend. Spirit does indeed work in
mysterious ways. I had enough finances to comfortably cover publishing everything else. It truly is
amazing. But, life is that way when we look for her to be. Nearly every aspect of our consciousness is
beyond our understanding. Oh, there are some tools and techniques that can be used to get our
consciousness to work for us to create things, events, and experiences in our lives. Some of these seem to
work better for some people than for others. Here it seems we are each unique and ultimately we must
find what works for us. No, that is not like finding a needle in a haystack. We are naturally drawn to the
things that work for us when we allow our inner resources to be expressed. There is a force within us that
drives us toward actualization of whom that we are. It helps if we cooperate and allow it to manifest what
it will in our lives ... but many seem to fight it tooth and nail. How futile this is. Our Self knows exactly
where we belong and how best to get us there. It does not have to be difficult. That is not to say it won't
be a challenge. Spirit seems to thrive on challenges. They keep life interesting. Boredom is akin to
death. Actually, it is worse than death. Yet, how do we live a life free from the grips of boredom? Many
escape to entertainment. But, is that a suitable response ... or is that just avoidance? What if we found
ways to engage people to assist in solving the major problems of the day? Is that possible to do? Can the
collective resources of people be harnessed in such a manner? My sense is yes. It won't be easy. It will
require determined effort. But, we can indeed use the collective mindpower of groups of people to solve
many of the challenging problems of the day. It is a matter of having the resolve to do it and committing
the appropriate resources to make it happen. As a society, we can do this. All resources collectively
belong to us. It is our collective choice as to where to engage them. Remember, we get what we focus
effort upon. If we want change in any area ... if we want to fix problems that plague us, we need to
commit sufficient resources.

But, won't we eventually run out? Won't we get to a point where there are still things that need to be done
but there are no resources left to do them? My sense is no, we will never reach such a point. We are too
resource rich for that. However, here is where priorities and resource leveling would come into play. We
might want to apply fewer resources to higher priority tasks to free some up for additional tasks at the
bottom. The bottom line is that collectively we have only begun to tap our potential. We are far less
effective than we could be. Between improvements in effectiveness, a tithe of time, and eliminating
unemployment ... we increase the available working force by on the order of 20-25 percent. That is a lot
of resources to apply toward making things better for all of us. Further, that is not all. A good portion of
the current time is already involved in providing many of the services that society needs. We just need
more from these. We need the services to touch our spirit somehow. More and more, we will find that we
demand this. The spiritual part of us will not be denied. It will have its rightful place in our interactions
in the world. How do we know what this is? One, we take the time to go within to find out. This part of
us is not hidden. It is there waiting for us to contact it and invite it to become an active force in our lives.
38
It will not force its way in. It is content to stay quietly on the sidelines until we notice that it is there and
take the steps to come to know it. That is what the process of know thyself is all about. For, this inner
self is as much a part of us as any. You might even say that it is more ... because in many ways it is
effectively running the show. Even if we are not aware of it, it is running the show. Perhaps, especially if
we are unaware of it. We take great strides to give the appearance that we are in control of our lives. But,
for most of us ... that is a front, not reality. The truth is that we are swayed by emotions over which we
have limited control as well as thoughts over which we have limited ability to evaluate for ourselves.

We continue to speak with a voice that is more than ours. Even after over a decade of doing this, we are
no closer to discovering the source than we were that very first day. It is simply someplace inside of us to
which we are able to connect where this stream of consciousness flows. It is interesting that it flows as it
does. One might expect it to be more disjointed. Though, the sentences and paragraphs can vary
dramatically from one to the next. That is OK. Consciousness undergoes such context switches. It is OK
to record these as they happen. Actually, I feel it is my duty to do so. The objective is to give you as
complete of a picture of what I experience as I can do in words. Since my experience is in words ...
conveying it in words only seemed natural. What has worked for a decade continues to work today.
Though, it would be nice to have some feedback as to what is actually conveyed in this manner. I know
what words I captured. I don't know what reading those words actually does for others. I've had several
feedback e-mails over the past decade, but we’re probably talking no more than several dozen. That is not
enough of a sampling to know what people are getting from the material. I really do desire to know. This
could affect how I choose to present things in the future.

The other option is that I am meant to express in the dark as it were ... without much feedback. I do what
I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. I express what I am moved to express. I trust that my life is
unfolding in accord with a master plan of which I have limited awareness. I'm not sure that I like this
option, though it does allow me to retain my hermit ways. The sense is that it makes the work of Beyond
Imagination more difficult in the long run ... primarily due to the lack of synergy that community would
allow. I remember stating something to the effect that we need to ensure the living continuity of what we
know by teaching what we have learned to at least one other living person before we pass on. Depending
on our interests we may have to teach parts of what we know to different people. We can't necessarily
expect to find someone like us that would be interested in all of it.

22 September 2003

Six books now grace the top of the bureau in my office. Six books with my name as the author. OK, only
three of these are officially published at this point in time. But the remaining three are within two to three
weeks ... so it is effectively a fait accompli. As of February or so, I had no idea that I would be publishing
any of this material this year. That was only seven months ago. My what a different half of a year can
make. And, we still have a quarter of a year remaining this year. The phrase that comes to mind is no rest
for the weary. I have been more weary than normal of late. Yet, despite this, I am moved to express even
more than normal. It seems that there is no end in site. The more that I express ... the more that there
seems to be awaiting expression. At some point, I have to draw the line and say enough is enough.
Though, I am reluctant to do this. I do enjoy this expression so. This is my life ... or at least a major part
of it, and arguably the most important part of it. Perhaps that is why my experience with relationships is
so strained and limited. I simply don't give them their full due. If I’m ever going to ever get beyond my
self-imposed isolation, I need to take steps to open up in this area. Part of this is to become genuinely
interested in other individuals. I am interested in doing things that would benefit all of society, but how
does that apply to each individual? I haven't really made that connection yet. And, it seems that this is
one of the things that is holding me back. Interesting. How does what I express specifically benefit

39
anyone? What does it do for whom? Is this something that I can even answer? I know what this
expression does for me. It uplifts me and allows me to experience states of consciousness that I otherwise
might not experience. These are positive and empowering states of consciousness that teach me much of
whom that I AM. Is the expression universal enough to be able to do that for others as well? I believe so.
That is part of what keeps me coming back to do this and then taking the steps to share what is expressed.

Six published books. At one time not too long ago, that was just a goal in my mind. Now, we are literally
within weeks of making it a reality and have two additional books at the publisher to meet our objective
of eight for 2003. Yes, 2003 has been a very productive year. It will be interesting to see what we can do
in 2004 to top it. For, there is a sense that such is indeed what is destined. These are building years.
Each year builds upon the prior ones to achieve something new. I don't know how long this will
continue. Though, it seems that it will at least go on through my first Easter birthday in 2007. There is
something about that time that seems special somehow. It marks a new phase in my life, another death
and rebirth of some type.

I don't set many goals. I have never been one to do this. I'm not much of a planner either. I don't even
wear a watch. I haven't for over 20 years. This results in a funny relationship with time. There are
enough clocks around to get up when I need to and to make it to meetings at work. But, I try not to
schedule much of anything. I prefer to keep my days unstructured. I prefer to be able to follow the chief
inner guidance that I have received: do what you are moved to do, when you are moved to do it. This has
always been good guidance. I have been able to count on spirit to do the moving in my life. And, she
seems far more knowledgeable and able than I am. That doesn't relieve me of responsibility for my
actions or inactions however. She may guide and "move", but it is ultimately my choice to be moved and
act. It was strange seeing myself set the goal of six published books in 2003 and objective of eight
published books. That was just something I wasn't used to doing. But, once it became a possibility ...
once I could see the way for it to happen, the variables were all under my control. It was just a matter of
applying effort in the right way. As it turned out, once I got into it, this was far easier than I imagined that
it would be. Putting the books together was a snap. The most difficult part was the proofing. If I had
sufficient resources, that is one part that I would definitely hire out. I am not a detail person by nature. I
can take care of the details when I have to, but that is not where my greatest strengths lay. I'm much
better at seeing the big picture and working from the top down. I know this. It is obvious in my work and
my education. The classes and work assignments that I did best in required these skills. How do I put
myself in a position where my best skills are used in a manner that can benefit many? Who says you are
not already in such a position? You have a job that pays you what you need to survive comfortably. And,
you have plenty of time to express what we would have you express. What more do you need? Why do
you insist that the work that you are paid for and the work that you love be one and the same? Yes, this
would be ideal. But, that is not a necessity. But, couldn't I do a whole lot more good work if I could do it
on a fulltime rather than a part time basis? Perhaps, but leave the timing to us. It will happen when it
happens. There is nothing that you can do to force it to happen.

Actually, as far as work goes ... things are picking up and getting interesting. Though, it still can be
difficult to stay awake at times. It seems that I am just not suited to work indoors for such long stretches
at a time. Yet, what do I do? I spend 10-12 hours in front of a computer each day during the week. That
is a lot of time. Something tells me that it can't be healthy. But, I do what I must do. Between work and
this expression, such is my chosen reality. That is, assuming I really have a choice in all of this. I guess
that I could have a different kind of a job. But, I am good with ideas ... and information workers typically
are stuck with using computers. That is OK. I actually enjoy it. There is power that comes from being
knowledgeable and able to do ones job well. Though, there is another part of me that wonders what I
might be capable of if all of my creative forces were unleashed to do what I know that I can do. What
could I do if I were truly enthusiastic about what I was doing? The sense is that this is far more than I can
imagine. That is saying a lot. I have seen myself accomplish a lot and I can imagine doing far more.
40
But, will I have the opportunity to do so. It seems that this is a matter of making not having the
opportunity. We can do whatever we set our minds, our hearts, and our spirits to do. It takes all three to
reach the level of commitment necessary to make things happen. And even then, it must be consistent
with what we believe or it simply won't happen. Beliefs are that powerful. They are that important to the
reality that we experience.

I'm still feeling the effects of my wisdom tooth being removed just over a week ago. Healing is a slow
process, at least in this case. I found it curious that transiting Uranus was exactly opposed my Natal Pluto
on the day of the removal. I don't know how to interpret that but an exact aspect of outer planets is quite
rare. This particular aspect is a once in a lifetime occurrence. This year has a lot of outer planet energy at
play in my chart. I believe that is why it has unfolded in the way that it has. In particular, there is
something about the transiting Pluto trine Natal Sun that is triggering all of the desire for publishing. At
times, we even have multiple aspects in close proximity at the same time. This truly is a special year. It
would have been even if we had not know about all the outer planet activity. But, this is just another
confirmation. The universe works in mysterious ways. But, she has given us symbol systems by which to
gain insight into some of her activity. However, it is for us to learn of these systems and engage them in
our lives if they are to be of benefit. No, we don't have to do this. Nothing is forced upon us. They are
there for us if we choose to use them.

Is there some significance in having a wisdom tooth removed at age 45? It is my first. That leaves me
with three. Many people have all four removed at a much earlier age. However, mine have never really
bothered me, so there was no need. This particular one had a hole and was decayed so the dentist decided
it had to come out. From the amount of decay, it seems he was right. Though, I would not want to go
through that again. Hopefully, I won't have to. Over three hours in the dental chair with over two hours
of active dental work was more than enough to last for awhile. Though I do have another tooth close to
where the work was done that needs a crown. I've never really liked doctors or dentists. To the degree
that I could, I've avoided both for most of my life. And, I've been pretty successful at it.

I'm anxious to get on with the next phase of my life. There is a strong sense that I'm at a crossroads. It
seems that there are multiple paths that my life could take. It will be interesting to see what choices I
make and what experiences result from those choices. Actually, to some degree, it seems that the bulk of
the choices have already been made. It is a matter of allowing them to manifest. No, that is not shirking
my responsibility in anyway. I am fully responsible for all that I experience. The issue is one of at what
level we make our choices. To me, it seems that this is still primarily at other than conscious levels. We
can make it more conscious if we so choose, but this is not a necessity for living happily.

Make everyday count. Do what you can do to make a difference somehow. In the end, that is all that
matters. What did we do that make a difference in the world? Is that so important? Is it not enough to
make a difference to ourself and those whose lives we touch directly? Why am I so insistent on a more
grandiose part to play? It just seems right. I see what abilities I have and see what potential there is for
using these abilities to serve the world. Service before self ... that is the motto for the Air Force. That is
one of the mottos that I live by. Then again, I could imagine how some people might consider this
expression self-serving. However, I don't see it that way. It is what it is. I still don't know how it is
created. Even after ten years, the process is still a mystery. That is OK. Mysteries are good. You might
say that is one of the things that keeps me coming back. What else would I do with my life? What would
I do that would result in products of more lasting value? Is not this expression enough? Are not these
ideas sufficient to be worthy of my presence on the planet? It seems the answer is no, or I would feel
more satisfied than I do. There is still a sense that I am not doing enough. Perhaps I am being too hard on
myself and will never do enough. Then again, by definition, whatever I am able to do must be enough ...
especially if I am sincere in my effort.

41
23 September 2003

One by one, the days continue to march on. I'm in a class most of the week, so the time is going by even
more rapidly than normal. I'm still struggling with being tired however ... even though both the class and
this expression are interesting. That is just not enough, it seems. Oh well. We do the best we can with
the opportunities that we are given. Further, we realize that these are the very opportunities that we
created for ourselves. There is a difference between being productive and busy and being happy. For me,
the former seems to be a necessary component for the later, but it clearly is not a sufficient component.
Why is it that happiness is so elusive? It seems that it should be a state that is natural and easy to reach.
But, this doesn't seem to be the case, at least not in my life to date. My productivity is very high both at
work and in this expression. But somehow, that is not enough. My spirit demands more. And, it will
have more for I will do what it takes to meet its demands. That is an interesting way of looking at things,
but an accurate one from my perspective. I can only relate what I know from my own experience.
Though, even I am surprised by some of the things that I know.

Who would get what from this expression? Who is the intended audience? What is the intended message
that I am trying to communicate? Do I even know? Should I know? Or, is this something that I can
leave to the universe to determine? To date, this is exactly what I have done with few exceptions. When I
have attempted to do things to get the word out about Beyond Imagination, the effort has generally failed
dismally. I took this as feedback that either my timing or approach was wrong. Now, it seems the
energies are different somehow. Things that have failed in the past may work fine now. One way or
another, it seems that Beyond Imagination is to grow into something from which great works can be done
... works far beyond anything we have created to date, works that go beyond words to building the actual
foundations for a new world. I feel this transformation happening. I don't see much tangible evidence of
it yet, but I trust that this too will come in time. All that we can do is carry out our roles as we see them.
If we do what we are moved to do when we are moved to do it ... we will be doing exactly that. I guess
we need to be a bit careful here that it is spirit that is doing the moving. Otherwise we could wreak havoc
in not only our lives but the lives of others. Coming from a hermit perspective, I lose sight of the fact that
the vast majority of people on the planet do not see things and experience things in the way that I do.
However, my sense is that if you are reading this ... you are part of a select few who have awakened and
become sufficiently aware of your spiritual nature to express it in your life on a regular basis.

Where do we go from here? We continue to express. That is a given. That is still a necessary outlet.
But, what else would we do? How would we make people aware of the Beyond Imagination works that
have been done to date? It seems that we need to get the word out if the expression is to reach and
influence those it is meant to touch. Then again, from another perspective, it will indeed reach those
whom it is meant to reach ... for such is destined somehow. Though that doesn't relieve us from the need
to do something if we feel that it is indeed our job to spread the word. I'm still doing this in terms of a
little thing here and a little thing there ... a link here, an advertisement there. It seems something bigger is
in order -- something like an advertising campaign. Though for this I would need to be very clear about
what benefits the material was providing to whom. If it is meant to be, it will be ... Those words just
popped into my head. I was thinking about what part I have to play in making this a reality. It is not for
me necessarily to choose to create whatever I would create in and of my own. Rather, it is for me to
actively allow those things to manifest that are consistent with carrying out my mission. This is a much
easier task when we do it right. There are far fewer false paths and dead ends involved. Though there is
nothing that says that we have to take the easy path. It is always open to us. But it is our choice. We are
free to live our lives as we choose.

42
Today is going to be a short musing day. Even with a late afternoon nap, I'm fading rapidly. That is OK.
We deal with the cards that we are dealt. States of consciousness are still very fluid for me. I like to think
that I have more control than most. And, the very fact that I can maintain sufficient focus to express here
as I do for as long as I do is evidence of this control. At the same time, I'm bipolar and under some pretty
heavy medication to control it ... anti-depressant, anti-seizure, and anti-psychotic. Drowsiness is a major
side effect of each of the medications. Yet, that doesn't stop my spirit from soaring at times. These bouts
of moderate mania may last from days to weeks. They are refreshing and uplifting times for me. They
are when I feel most inspired, most connected to source. Of course, the doctors do not see the spiritual
side to all of this. They see a mental disorder in which the brain chemistry is out of whack and needs to
be brought under control by dosages of drugs that bring levels to within the "therapeutic range". To me,
this "disorder" is a feature of how my mind functions that allows me to see things differently than others
are able to see them. Whether this is ultimately good or bad depends on it utility. What does it allow me
to do? One of the things that it allows me to do is to express in the manner that I do. It is interesting that
this expression began at about the time of the diagnosis of the bipolar condition.

24 September 2003

Here we are again, expressing as spirit would have us express. I can think of no better way to spend my
time then engaged in this stream of consciousness expression. Perhaps that is why there are so few people
in my life. It seems I have already made my choice as to where I am going to apply my focus, attention,
and energy. Though such choices can change at any time. There is nothing that holds us to our prior
choices except ourselves and our own inertia. At times this can be a good thing. It can keep us going
through the rough times and get us to bright days that lie ahead. But, during times when massive change
is called for ... inertia is not such a good thing. It keeps us from getting to where we need to be, or results
in getting there much more slowly or more circuitously than necessary. Then again, from another
perspective, if we experience it ... then it is necessary, almost by definition. That is a hard thing to
swallow when you look at all the pain and suffering experienced by so many in the world. Can all of that
really be necessary? How could spirit be so cruel as to permit all of that to happen in that manner?
However, the very way that we are asking the question is flawed. Everything is spirit in expression.
Everything being experienced is being experienced by spirit. If it could have avoided some of the hurt
and the suffering, it would have. So, the bottom line must mean that this could not have been avoided.
Until we take responsibility for it, and for doing something about it, that is true ... nothing can be done
except through us and by us. At what point are we going to realize that the reality that we experience is
the reality that we are creating for ourselves both individually and collectively? Until we do this, there is
no hope that we will build a better world. For, a better world starts with each of us living a better life, and
doing things to contribute to improvements in our communities and our world. We have the power to do
great things, individually and collectively. Whether we will tap this power and use it for this purpose
remains to be seen. I'm an optimist at heart, so I believe that we will indeed succeed in this. In fact, I
believe that there is a spiritual destiny being played out that will ultimately ensure that this happens. It is
as if it is already a spiritual certainty, it is just a matter of time before it manifests physically.

Allowing free will to manifest is not "cruel". However, it does create an environment where unscrupulous
operators could take advantage of gullible and unsuspecting victims. Do the victims choose to be
victims? In some cases we can say yes. People choose to drink alcohol or to smoke cigarettes. But, it
seems there are many exchanges in the economic system where there should be far more assistance in
screening the quality and value of goods and services that are offered to the public. Sellers should not be
free to sell whatever buyers are willing to buy. Hmm ... I wonder where that came from? That is directly
counter to the basis of a free market economy. In a free market, it is the presence of potential consumers
that drives the need for a particular good or service. Here, we are saying that is not enough. The seller

43
must demonstrate that his goods or services have more value than the fulfillment of some consumer
desire. This puts us on shaky ground. In the free market, if the item didn't sell, the seller went out of
business. Things were simple. Now, we need some means to judge the value of goods and services
independent of the prices people are willing to pay on the open market. Why do I believe this can be
done any better than the free market has done it? Because I can look out and see what choices I have and
what those choices cost me. In many ways I am more free than my ancestors, but in other ways I am
more enslaved. In particular, I am far more in debt than they ever were. It takes a lot to live a
comfortable lifestyle these days. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot to show for it. But, much of it is
borrowed, rather than owned. Also, comfortable now is far more comfortable than it has ever been.

What I do own is this expression. And, it is one thing I choose to freely share. Though I also invite you
to purchase some of the published books that we have available. I just noticed that the publishers web
site is down due to major rework. Hopefully, it won't be down for long. I guess that means I should make
the preview pages available as links from the Published Books page. Though, in most cases, if you want a
sample of what is in the book, most of the material is already somewhere at this site. The sad part is that
right now, I'm probably the only one that knows what is where. Though, most of it is pretty obvious.
Even the brief introductions for each book identify what the source was for that work. With the exception
of some introductions and conclusions, nearly everything in all eight of the Beyond Imagination books
generated to date is posted at the Beyond Imagination site. In some cases you have to look in a lot of
files. For instance, 2003 Musings - Vol I is spread over 112 files; The Early Works are spread over 15
files; Best Passages from 2002 Musings is spread over 6 files.

What would I do next? There is a deep inner longing to make myself known to others somehow ... to a
much greater degree than I have ever done. This can happen in two ways: one, through personal contact
and interaction; two, through exposure of people to this expression. Much of whom that I AM is revealed
here in these works. That has been true since the beginning. This expression is my way of sharing who I
am with the world. It is documented in writing. Much of it is date stamped. There is not a single word
that I would take back even if I could. The expression is what it is. It is not something that I am trying to
make of it. When I express, the only purpose that I have in mind is to express what consciousness would
bring forth as clearly as I can. I know that I am not consciously in control of what is being expressed. It
is not clear that I can even control whether it will be expressed or not. I am compelled as if by a force that
I cannot resist. Not that I would want to resist it even if I could. But, what about free will? Do I create
my own reality or not? How can I not be in control of such a simple decision as whether to express or not
to express? It is a matter of levels at which choices are made. I have freely accepted that I have a
spiritual mission and that part of this mission is allowing this stream of consciousness from source that
constitutes Beyond Imagination to come forth. Consciously, I place a high priority on this activity. That
seems to assure that I am moved to express for an appropriate amount of time nearly every day. We
always find time to do those things that we value the most. In fact, that is one of the ways to find out
what we value the most ... look at where we spend our time, especially our free time.

I don't imagine myself as a people person. I don't see myself meeting and interacting with large numbers
of people. Is this a limitation that I am imposing on myself or is this a realization of my nature? Yet, is
there something that I know that is of value that I can teach to others ... even large numbers of others?
What this expression has taught me is something of awareness and the nature of consciousness. Are these
things that I can impart unto others? Can they get it from these writings? Can they get it from my
presence? Clearly, I believe that I have experienced things that most have not and that as a wayshower I
am here to share what I have experienced in a manner that shows the way for others. I do this because it
is where I naturally gravitate to. This is what I came to do. This is my spiritual mission. It is by far the
most important thing that I do in my life. It is here that I truly live. It is here that I can be whom that I
AM, even if none other be aware at the time that I express. I have little insight as to who or how many
this expression touches. Further, I have no idea as to how long the technology will be around that allows
44
it to remain available to the world. The WWW is growing and changing as we speak. I'm still using basic
HTML. More advanced web pages are two or three generations beyond that already. This month marks
the 8 year point for the Beyond Imagination web site. I would guess that we have close to 4000 pages or
3 million words of expression by now. Not bad for a part time endeavor, and primarily a solo one.
Though, how can I say solo, when source is there nearly all of the time? And, as yet, I don't count source
as something that I consciously know to be me.

Express what would be expressed through you. Worry not as to where it comes from or where it will go.
The material will reach those whom it is meant to reach. Yes, you will have a major role to play in
facilitating that. But, you don't have to overdo it. You will be guided each step along the way. Just keep
taking one step after the next in the direction that feels right to you. Trust! You will know what the right
direction is. You will know! You have reached a point where your awareness is such that you naturally
detect and attract the spiritual into your life. To some degree, you have always done such. Hence the
purple as the top band of color in your aura. Yes, I know that. There is a strong sense of a great spiritual
destiny to fulfill. And, there is no doubt that I will fulfill it. Interesting. I said "I" will fulfill it not we
will fulfill it. It still seems that there is something that I must do on my own. Perhaps this is only as a
first phase, and working with others will come after that. But it seems that I must break beyond the
barriers of Self to find my rightful place in the world. What does it take to do that? Right now, I have
very strong boundaries. What does it take to soften these and/or to break through them? How can my
consciousness be so flexible and my concept of self so rigid? Hmm ... the self is the seat of the
consciousness - or is it the other way around? What comes first? The Self is not a body or a vessel; it is a
being. Yet, what is consciousness? Is it not that which animates life? ... that which gives life to life? That
is an interesting way of looking at things.

My physical body is fairly stiff and rigid. My mind is quite stubborn in many respects. What does this
tell me about other aspects of myself? Clearly these are reflections that mirror spiritual conditions as
well. What do I need to work on? On the physical front, we have weight and flexibility. The first can be
addressed via diet and exercise, the second via exercise and stretching ... perhaps yoga. On the mental
front, this is a little more difficult. I believe in believing things firmly as long as we believe them and
changing our beliefs rapidly should more empowering beliefs come our way. The power of beliefs is
judged solely by utility. Besides, I'm not so convinced that I am not open-minded. After all, I've accepted
this expression into my life with open arms. That was not necessarily a sane thing to do. Though it is
something that I am proud to have done. It took courage to give spirit voice in this manner. It took more
courage to start to believe what came forth enough to act on the information. But, overall, it has proved
itself to be trustworthy. Spirit has shown time and time again that I can count on her to come through.
That doesn't mean that everything that is expressed is 100 percent correct. It seems that my ego still gets
in the way and clouds the expression with its desires at times. Though, of late, this seems to happen less
and less.

25 September 2003

Good news. The publishers site was only down for a day. The new bookstore is up and running and does
seem to be a substantial improvement. In addition, Best of Notes - Books 1 and 2 made it to the
published list today. That makes it five officially. Quotes, the sixth, should follow within a week or so.
Then, The Search for Center should be ready a month or so after that. Finally, 2003 Musings - Vol II
should come in a week or so before Christmas to wrap up things for the year. That makes eight published
books in one year. That achieves the objective that I set when I first found out I could even do this just
over six months ago. It is still difficult to believe that I had no clue that I could publish books at a price
that I could afford such a short time ago and here I stand (or sit in my case) with 5 books published and 3

45
more in the publishers hands. Effectively, it is a done deal. I don't anticipate any problems with the final
few books that would preclude their publication this year. Yet, there is nothing miraculous about it. I just
decided to do it, and then committed the necessary resources to make it happen. Actually, there was a
touch of the miraculous. There was a matter of a ten year old claim for $1161 that came out of the blue
just in time to fund the publishing of three books. Had this not occurred, the publishing would have been
delayed and I would have had to stretch a bit more financially. But, there is a sense that once I was
committed, I was not going to allow anything to deter me from reaching my objective.

Can I do this in other areas of my life? Can I set goals and objectives and use these to focus my energy
and activities on those things necessary to achieve the goals? Would I know what goals to set? Clearly,
there is great benefit that comes from focused effort. We are able to create far more than we have ever
dreamed possible. But, do we need goals to provide this focus for us? Hmm ... what do I want? This is
not a question that I am used to asking. My focus has been on who am I? Both questions are equally
valid. Ignoring one to focus on the other can only work for so long. So, we'll ask again, what do I want?
Satisfying and rich relationships. Hmm ... it is interesting that this would be the thing that would come up
first. This is the thing that I am missing most in my life. Now, the question is given that this is what I
want ... what am I willing to do to make it so? Relationships must be developed and nurtured. This takes
time, effort, and attention. What am I willing to give to manifest such relationships? One thing that is
necessary is to shift from a self focus to an other focus or at least to a we focus. What is life without
friends? It can be quite lonely. There is some comfort in having spirit by one's side, but that is not the
same as having a physical companion with whom to share aspects of life. There is so little that I know
about others that it is frightening at times. Wayne's World is a very strange place. To date, it is a very
empty place. It is full of ideas ... some quite grandiose regarding what can be. But, attempts to lure
others into this world have been for naught as far as I can tell. Perhaps that is because such is not meant
to be. My world is just that, my world. The most I can do is share where this world intersects with your
world. Hmm ... lure seems to connote a negative intent. That is the farthest thing from my mind. My
hope is that exposure to my world would be a liberating experience. I know it has been such for me. I
would guess that others would find it so as well.

These words are my way of documenting my reality. My hope is that in expressing in this manner I
provide a service, a great service to those who find this expression. As a wayshower, I demonstrate what
spirit expressing in flesh is capable of. But, know that what I can do, you can do also. You are spirit
incarnate, here and now. You have always been such and will always be such, despite how much of this
you have forgotten. You cannot escape what you are. And, what you are is spirit expressing in flesh, pure
and simple. The challenge is to live our lives as if we truly know this. That means ensuring our beliefs
are consistent with this. This in turn will ensure that our actions are consistent with this as well. It is
important to find that part of us that knows. It is there within each of us ... waiting to be found. However,
we must look ... we must seek, if we are to find it.

It amazes me that this expression can continue to come forth as it does musing after musing ... and even
line after line and paragraph after paragraph within each musing. Yet, come forth it does in full glory ...
consciousness operating at its finest. Or, at least the finest that it can operate through me. It would be
nice to have some reference points - some others in my life that I could use as sounding boards and as
comparison points to see how consciousness expresses through them ... whether this be similar or
different than through me. That's what friends are for! Hmm ... indeed it seems that such is the case.
But, I'm 45 already and have not experienced having such people in my life. Interactions at work don't
really count. They are somewhat constrained by the office environment. Though, there is nothing that
limits such interactions to business.

46
26 September 2003

Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. Book number seven, The Search for Center was waiting for me to proof
when I got home yesterday. The cover looks great ... perhaps the best one yet. There are some formatting
corrections that need to be made, but nothing major. And, since I did a thorough proof before submittal,
I'm not going to do that again. I should be able to get the correction sheet and approval form to the
publisher on Sunday. And then there was one. Wow! It is hard to believe. It is really happening. I did
what it took to make it so ... but the universe cooperated and responded as well.

Now that the books are published, we move on to the next phase. How do we get them into the hands of
those who are meant to be served by them? Yes, served by them. Books serve us. They entertain us and
they educate us. How do I find the audience that is right for these works? To some degree, they will find
me naturally ... one way or another. If this expression is meant to touch their path it will. Nothing on
earth can stop it. However, it seems that there are things that I might do to make this easier. My publisher
is not a well known one, though their name, Infinity Publishing , is quite appropriate for the Beyond
Imagination books. You can find Beyond Imagination by searching for it or for Wayne Hartman. But,
how would one know to do that? It seems that it is important to start doing something to let people know
who I am and what Beyond Imagination is. I'm not aware of any standard mechanisms for doing this. At
present ... I'm not offering any particular services, other than the wealth of material at the Beyond
Imagination site and in the Beyond Imagination books. Yes, I am looking to establish cooperative
interdependent relationships to help build the foundations for a new world. I know this is not something
that I can do alone. Yet, I don't think I'm looking for 100's or 1000's to do this. It seems a few dozen may
be sufficient in terms of whom I am meant to deal with directly. My sense is that we will know one
another when we find one another, and that the nature of our relationship will evolve naturally if we allow
it to.

Somehow, I need to do some advertising to get the word out. The word being that the Beyond
Imagination site exists and that many Beyond Imagination books are published and available. Those who
cannot afford the books can still benefit from the material at the site. However, we ask that everyone
abide by the directive to never take more than you give. That means finding a way to be of service to
others to compensate them at an equal or greater value to the service you receive from the Beyond
Imagination material. You will know when the account is balanced. Spiritual economy is very simple.
Credit is given when we give, debit when we take. The goal is to go out with a high credit balance. To do
this, we need to live good lives, lives of service to ourselves, our families, our society, and our world.
That doesn't mean that we can't have fun. That doesn't mean that we can't be selfish in some of the things
that we do. We just need to consider the overall picture of how our energy and actions impact our world.
Are we a source or a sink of energy? If we are a sink, we are taking more than we are giving and we need
to find a way to adjust our behavior. We do this by adjusting our beliefs and our actions.

Happiness, why is it so elusive? I have so many positive things going in my life ... this expression, the
Beyond Imagination books, my job, my family, my house and the things in my life. So, why am I not
happy? The bottom line is that all of this is not enough. I know that there is more that I could be doing. I
know that some of the limits in my present life are bonds and chains that I have accepted but that I no
longer desire to accept. It's not that bad. It's not that I'm sad or depressed. It's just that I'm not happy and
manic about life. Interesting. Perhaps part of it is biochemical. Perhaps the very drugs that I am taking
to keep me from getting to manic states also keep me from getting to happy states. If memory serves me,
I was quite happy when I was flying high on the wings of consciousness. It didn't seem to matter what
else was going on in my life. Also, I enjoyed golfing a lot for several years until the side effects of the
drugs impacted the fine motor coordination so that I could strike the ball consistently anymore. However,
the game is not the same when you can't count on performing effectively.

47
How do we announce to the world that Beyond Imagination exists? What subset of the world would even
be interested? One possibility of to do things that result in people becoming aware that I exist. Beyond
Imagination is a natural extension of me. It is the expression that has come forth through me for the past
decade. So, it is time for the hermit to be introduced to the world. That means speaking somehow. I can't
see how to do this via writing alone no matter how much I might prefer that. It is time to take the act live
as they say. It will be interesting to see what opportunities present themselves now that I have started
thinking in this manner. It generally doesn't take long for things to start manifesting in my life. Do I have
something to offer? Is my realtime presence something that will ultimately prove to be of value? Surely,
it must be of value to some. I have no illusions that this might be many. Then again, it seems that
Beyond Imagination is ultimately to impact many before its work is done. However, most will not be
aware of the impact that Beyond Imagination is having since it is working behind the scenes building the
very foundations and fabric out of which the new age society will be built.

It is not so important who gets credit for the changes to the social fabric that are to come. It is enough that
the changes come and that they are instituted and reach as many people as possible. The bottom line is
that it is spirit doing the work through us. She deserves the lion's share of the credit. Though, we must do
our part. Spirit cannot express physically except through us. We have to do the work. We have to
manifest the ideas in the world and then take the action to make them more than ideas, to make them a
living reality in our world. If things are to change, it is up to us to change them. We are responsible for
creating the world of our dreams ... but we need to beware of creating the world of our nightmares.
Reality creation can be a two-edged sword if we are not careful in how we engage in it. That is why it is
very important for our motives to be pure. That is why I still struggle with imposing my will on
situations. If I impose my will, I am responsible for the outcome. However, if I allow spirit to move me
... it seems that I am relieved of the responsibility. Spirit herself has taken it on. Though, I still accept full
responsibility for what I do and in some cases what I could have done but didn't do.

Life is too short to waste. We need to make empowering choices. We need to make choices that lead to
our happiness. The pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right according to our founding fathers in the
Declaration of Independence. How do we succeed in this pursuit? Yes, that is the question of the day. It
seems that we have many pursuing happiness in a variety of ways but it also seems that few are really
finding it. Then again, how would I know? How many people have I encountered?

27 September 2003

Another day. Another blank screen to fill. That is OK. That is what blank screens are for after all. They
provide opportunities to express that which has never been expressed before. At least that is the way I
look at things. This expression ever expresses anew. It comes from a fount of which I know not. All that
I know is that I have found a way to tap this thing that I call source within. I would like to think that the
tapping came from extensive effort in digging the well. But, it may have been more fortuitous than this.
It seems that my soul put me in the right place at the right time to make this connection. Part of that place
included a belief structure and frame of mind that would be accepting of this manifestation of source. At
times, I had to question my very sanity. How could I believe as I do? Yet, I am confronted by the
evergrowing record of this expression. Even after over 10 years, it is still very much a mystery. That is
OK. One could do far worse than to have the mysterious as a regular part of ones life. It definitely keeps
life interesting. Then again, what is interesting for me could be boring for another. We each have our
roles to play. It is for us to find what these are and then to play them to the best of our abilities. Hmm ...
it seems that this includes the "evil" roles as well as the good ones. Are they not playing their parts as
well? That is an interesting way of looking at things. Were Hitler and Stalin necessary evils? Were they
needed to teach the world particular lessons? And, if so, did we learn those lessons? In general, when it

48
comes to these matters the collective consciousness seems to be pretty dense. It is as if we are trying to
move a mountain. And indeed, that is exactly what we are doing. But as the Bible says, if we believe
sufficiently and command the mountain to move then it will move. The question is where do we want it
to move to? How do we know what direction or what place is better? We can use utility ... move it and
see if things are better. But it seems that it would be more efficient if we knew a better end state from the
beginning and focused on moving to that. This is where our dreamers come in. There are people who
know what directions spirit has planned for us. It helps if we stay in sync with these. It is not mandatory,
but it definitely makes the way easier.

What would I do next? Five simple words of 16 letters. How we answer this question ultimately defines
our destiny. We do things in the moment. That is the only point in which we have any power. The future
is dependent on what we do now. And, we can only impact the future or the past by our actions in the
present. I ask myself this question often. Sometimes I am surprised by the answers but usually not.
Clearly, you are reading this because I am still moved to express in this manner. That continues to be a
daily activity. There is a strong sense that there is more that I can do, but I am at loss as to what and how.
I don't put myself in situations where I meet many people. And, of these, I have no idea as to how many
might have metaphysical inclinations. Yet, it seems that somehow it is up to me to get the word of
Beyond Imagination out to the world. How I do this is up to me. Though, as always, I trust that spirit
will move me to act appropriately to get this done elegantly. That is how she operates in my life. I have
no reason to think that this will change anytime soon. You could say that I am lucky to have such a
relationship with spirit. But, it is not luck. We can all have such relationships. It takes work, but the key
is to invite spirit to play an active role in our life. We have to be willing to listen to her and then take
action on what she reveals to us. At times, that can be difficult. But, there is nothing that says everything
in life must be easy. In fact, it seems that it is the difficult time, the challenges, that bring out the best in
us. Not surprising, it seems this is how spirit tempers us ... just as steel is tempered. We are being
prepared for some grand roles in the coming times. Spirit will be able to express in ways that go beyond
anything that we have seen manifest before. This is new territory that we are venturing into. This is the
grand adventure of consciousness. Oh, it always has been. It is just more so now because of the nature of
the manifestation and the rapidity and scope of the changes. We are entering into some exciting times.
Times that will knock our socks off spiritually. I, for one, anxiously await what lies ahead and what part I
can play in its manifestation. Our spiritual roles are why we are here. More and more, more of us will
realize this ... until the world becomes the conscious expression of spirit in flesh.

On with it. I would do what it is that I am destined to do. In a way this is my choice ... but it is a choice
now to abide by a greater choice that I made at other than conscious levels before incarnating this time
around. How can I be certain of this? I don't know, I just am. Some things we just know. They are not
necessarily things that we have been taught, at least not in this existence. Though, with all that I have
read in this incarnation it is difficult to say what I have been taught and what I have not been taught. I
would guess that over 20 million words have passed through these eyes into this mind by now. And that
is just the metaphysics related part. That doesn't count my formal education. Then again, my informal
education I value the most, though it granted me no degrees. It is the education that has been most
relevant to living my life. Then again, many people might not call what I do living. I sleep, I work, I eat,
I commute, I write, I read, I play with my dogs. Note that there is very little interaction with others in
these activities. Yes, I realize that there is something wrong with that and it is time to take action to
remedy it. From my aura, communication is very important to me. However, communication is not a one
way process. It is a give and a take of energy, of meaning. Thus far, the Beyond Imagination expression
has been primarily a one-way activity. I express, or spirit expresses through me, and I don't even know
who the expression reaches. That is OK. Or, it has been to date. But, I desire for it to transform into
something more. With an exchange of information, feedback can occur to help focus and guide what is
expressed so that the message is conveyed more clearly. So yes, there is a good reason for engaging
others in this expression. But, that is a choice that I cannot make alone. I can invite the feedback, and I
49
do wholeheartedly. I seek to establish friendships and cooperative interdependent relationships that
permit us to create some grand things.

Yet, how do I, the ultimate introvert, do the things necessary to publicize this endeavor? Yes, I believe in
it, with all of my heart and soul. But, that is not enough to go out and proselytize, at least not for me.
Yes, I desire for the word to get out so that the expression that is captured at the site can be unleashed to
do good works in the lives of people. But, that desire is not strong enough to get me out of my shell and
cause my basic behavior to change. Perhaps it should be. I simply observe what has occurred over the
past few months since I got the promotional material for Best Passages of 2002 Musings. Most of it is
still sitting in my office at work or on my desk at home. I have no clue as to whom or where to send it to.
I have two books on self-publishing and promoting books, but I've only made it part way through these.
Maybe that is the place to start. It just takes a few good ideas to get things rolling. Perhaps there is
something that even an introvert would be comfortable with. Is this a limitation that I'm imposing on
myself? Or is introversion truly an innate part of my character? And, if so, is there a way to use that to
advantage? There is a reason I am wired in the manner that I am. One reason might be the challenge to
overcome a natural limitation. However, introversion is only a limitation if you are trying to engage in
extroverted behavior. The trick is to couch the problem in terms that the natural traits of introversion can
address. We are free to reframe problems in any way that we desire. We don't have to adapt us to the
problem at hand. We can adapt the problem at hand to suit us. Though we still need to do what we can to
stretch and develop our capabilities to the utmost.

There is a sense that there is something that I could be doing that I am not yet doing. Further, it is
something that is congruent with whom that I know that I am. It does not require tapping skills or
abilities that I do not possess or in which I am weak. It is right there in front of me, waiting to be done if I
would but see it. Hmm ... I wonder what it could be? I just got a sense that it may involve others. That
was followed by a shiver from my right side of my head through my right side of my neck. Who in my
circle of acquaintances might be able to help? I'm not used to thinking in these terms, but it would
definitely be a solution. At this point, not even my family knows what Beyond Imagination books have
been published. This has truly be a lone enterprise. How do I change that? Who do I know that would
read the books and then be willing to help market them? Is that asking too much of someone else? If it is
meant to be, it will be. Otherwise, I will continue to fill whatever roles are necessary as well as I can.
This has been enough in the past. It will just have to continue to be enough. I can only give of what I am
... and that is still limited while in this existence. Though, it is far less limited now than it was prior to
March of 1993 when this expression began. What is it that I can do? Who is it that I can enlist to help me
in this endeavor? Is this someone that I already know, or someone I have yet to meet? There is a strong
sense that there would be great benefit in working with others on various endeavors. One area would be
promoting. However, another area would be the creation of joint expressions that are a marriage of what
both of us have to offer. I'm definitely open to this. I expect to have a dozen works published by the end
of 2004. That is enough to establish me as a metaphysical author. I could easily work on several joint
projects during the year as well. If you are interested and have ideas in this area, by all means contact me
and let's see if we can work something out. Similarly, if you've enjoyed the Beyond Imagination material
and think you might be able to help promote the Beyond Imagination web site and Beyond Imagination
books, please contact me as well. At this point in time, I like focusing on what I do best. Right now, that
is bringing forth this material. Though I am open to public appearances, talks, Q&A sessions, workshops,
etc ... if these would help to get the word out.

29 September 2003

50
I was bad again -- missed another day of musing. I had an opportunity to muse in the late afternoon and
another in the evening after the commute to LA but I was too tired to do it. I actually made a couple of
attempts, but did not even get as far as turning the computer on. Oh well. On to a new day and what
consciousness would express next. I did get the corrections sheet and approval form for The Search for
Center faxed to the publisher. That brings us to seven. We'll be there officially within about 3 weeks.

Today started off well. I sold my first copy of The Early Works. That makes three books sold of which I
am aware. It's not much, but it's a start. It is interesting seeing all seven books displayed on the credenza
in my office, especially knowing that all of these came out this year. Yes, 2003 has been a very
productive year for Beyond Imagination. It will be interesting to see what 2004 brings. In the
government, we start fiscal year 2004 on Wednesday, October 1. However, in my case, it seem that the
calendar year is more important. We planted well this year ... and the harvest has been bountiful. Now, it
seems it is time to bring the harvest to market and see what it will yield. That is an interesting way of
looking at things ... but it seems an accurate one. Is that what I am doing with the Beyond Imagination
books? And, how do I bring them to market? Just looked over at the books again ... it is curious that they
were published in a somewhat random order, but when laid out in a time sequence, the cover colors line
up in the order of the spectrum. The earliest book has dark blues and purple; the next two, lighter blues;
the fourth, greens; the fifth, yellow; and the sixth and seventh reds and light browns. There is a sense that
this is not by accident. Also, my service provider is Redshift. It is curious that the covers for the books
with the newest material would be shades of red.

The order of publication was 5 - 1 - 6 - 2 - 3 - 7 - 4. I'm sure there is something significant in that as well.

5: The Hierophant
16: The Tower
23: King of Wands = wayne
74: Six of Pents = The Benefactor = wayne ellis hartman

That is a pretty powerful sequence for me, especially given that 16:The Tower is my most important Tarot
card. The ordering was a simple chronological ordering of the material in each book, with 1 for the
earliest work and 7 for the most recent. It is amazing how these kinds of things reveal meaning. There
were different cover designers for many of the books. Further, the cover designers did not know what
other books had been published or where they fit chronologically. Yet, the overall result is not random. It
reveals that there is a guiding hand in all of this somehow. I had little to say in the cover design, with the
exception of the second book published (1), in which they used a Beyond Imagination graphic that I had
provided from the site. It is appropriate that this particular book would have this cover. It is the primer
that sets the stage for the Beyond Imagination expression. At 288 pages, it is also the smallest of the
published works. It is split into three sections: the Beyond Imagination book, Reality Creation 1010, and
Best Quotes. Even after 10 years, it is still new to me, so I would hope that others would find it new and
original as well. It does make me wonder how I could so suddenly start to think and express like that.
Though, there was a lot of preparation in terms of self-education in metaphysics.

Worked up a spreadsheet on expenses / sales for Beyond Imagination this year. Obviously we are
severely in the red thus far. We've invested over $3800 with a return of $68. That is to be expected.
Most of the books have not been available long enough for any credited sales to be made from the
publishers site. Their royalty payments lag sales by about two months. Next month will be the first
opportunity to see if we are reaching people strongly enough for them to commit to buying our books.
We would hope that this is the case, but only time will tell. Actually, considering that we will have
published eight books for that amount, I feel good about the decision to do this. We must not forget that
the monetary investment is peanuts compared to the time invested in expressing the material and then
packaging it as books. The books are literally the result of thousands of hours invested in doing the work
51
of Beyond Imagination. In 2003 alone, I expect to have put in over 1000 hours by years end. Last year,
2002, was a 1000+ hour year as well.

I have to believe that what I am doing has value ... that what I am doing is worth the effort and resources
that I put into it. How do I know whether this is really true or not? First, I get great value because the
expression literally changes me. Seeing what is able to be expressed through me has been a great
awakener. I don't know where else I could have gone to get such experiences. I believe the material
could do similar things for others, providing them an example of what can come forth if we allow it to.
What I do, you can do also. Perhaps not in exactly the same way. And, even if you are good with words,
your words will be yours and will be expressed in a style that is unique to you. That is OK. There is a
reason that we are all unique individuals. There is something that is to be expressed in all of this. Be
whom that thou are. Such is the directive of spirit. It is not for us to be as others are but to be as we alone
can be. That doesn't mean that we cannot learn from what others have done and where others have been.
We just need to make sure that the lessons that we learn are indeed ours to learn and empower us.

There is a spiritual destiny that is unfolding. How are those of us who are introverts to play out our
roles? It seems that it is up to us to seek inside to find what our roles are ... and then to fashion the reality
necessary to act out these roles. We are reality creators after all. That is what reality creation is all about.
As introverts, we can choose to do our work behind the scenes. We don't have to enter the limelight if we
don't choose to. There are plenty of others who not only can do that, but who enjoy doing that. There is
no reason that we have to adopt roles that are inconsistent with our basic character ... unless we choose to
do so in an attempt to grow in a particular area. The bottom line is to pay attention to the inner forces that
move us. These may also be reflected in the outer circumstances that we face, but it is best if they are
resolved on inner lives first. Then again, this advice may be specific to introverts. I have no firsthand
knowledge of how extroverts view the world and are moved by it ... at least not in this existence.

We speak with a voice of authority ... yet, where does the authority with which we speak originate? I've
been doing this for over a decade now. I don't really ask that question much anymore. I have accepted
that there is a source that is able to communicate to me and through me. It is a source that is located
somewhere within. It is a source that I would trust with my life. Yes, that is how much I value the
information that comes forth. No, I don't necessarily believe and act upon every word. I trust that I will
know what to believe, when to act, and what action(s) to take. The process is not a reasoned one,
however, it is an intuitive one for me. I just know. It is not something that I have to figure out. Some
might consider me fortunate to have such a relationship to spirit. Indeed, I consider myself quite
fortunate. At the same time, it took a lot of self work to get where I am at. Looking back, it was
definitely worth it. Though, I would hope that the years to come will be more filled with happiness than
the years that have passed. In any event, I am truly looking forward to what is to come ... even though I
do not yet know specifically what that is to be. At this point, the generalities are good enough. And, from
what I can see, things look very promising. The sense is that the past ten years are nothing compared to
what can be. They are but a hint of what can be done when we make the choice to consciously express
spirit in flesh.

What would I do next? I ask that question nearly every day. Though, I don't really ask with the
expectation that I need to come up with an answer. The bottom line is that I do what I am moved to do. I
allow that to be revealed moment by moment. There is something to be said for living life in the present.
For me anyway, it seems to be the way that I have to live. I've never been much of a planner. Though, if
we are going to build the foundations for a new world, someone will have to do some planning of some
type. At this point in time, I don't know whether that someone will be or include me. Spirit will ensure
that I am placed where I can be of most service in support of the overall plan for the greater expression of
consciousness in flesh. I trust that I have a particular role to play and that I will be moved to play it.
More and more, life is becoming the adventure in consciousness that it is meant to be. Though, it should
52
be an adventure in flesh and blood as well. We are physical beings after all. Part of our task is to be
physical. We just need to find ways to be spiritual even as we are physical. That is not so hard to do.
We cannot escape being spiritual ... ever! Further, while we are incarnate we cannot escape being
physical try though we might. This is not a resignation. Rather, it is a celebration of our nature as spirit
in flesh. Life itself should be a celebration. It is a tremendous gift that we have been given. It is up to us
to make the most of it and find ways to give back something of what we have been given. We do this by
doing something that makes a difference ... preferably a large positive difference to others, or to the
world. We need to make masterpieces of our lives ... living masterpieces. Given that we are all masters at
the art of reality creation, this should be something that is natural for us. Masters create masterpieces.
That is simply what they do. However, few of us are conscious masters at much of anything. We have to
do some soul searching to find out what we are best at and then find ways to express that creatively in
service.

$1 per word. That is the suggested going rate for this expression. If even 300 people buy each book
generated from this expression, that would cut the cost to 1 cent per word. However, there are over
150,000 words in several of the books. That would be $1500 per book ... a bit out of most peoples range.
To drop this to $10 per book, we need to spread the cost over 150 people. That would mean we need 300
x 150 or about 50,000 sales per book to achieve the $1 per word figure. That seems like a lot of sales, but
is it? How would I know? Actually, there was no stipulation as to when the sales would happen. They
could be spread out over the remainder of my life. That could mean spreading the sales over as many as
25 years. Worst case, that would be 2,000 sales per book per year. Even that is a lot, especially given
how few people I know. But, this country is a big place. It is a matter of finding those people who are
meant to experience this expression. If it is meant to be it will be. I have taken the first step and got the
books published. Clearly, I will need some help from the universe if they are to be a success. But first
steps first. We will have to see what happens from here.

30 September 2003

Can we really be to the end of another month already. They just seem to fly by ... one after another. No
rest for the weary as they say. There is much to do and much to express before we are finished with this
year. That's OK. We still have one quarter of the year to go. That is a lot of time ... especially if we apply
ourselves and use it effectively. Who knows what can be accomplished with spirit by our side. The
possibilities are bright. The sense is that we will start to see this expression transform into whatever it is
to be next. I don't foresee more of the same for 2004. We have been going at full speed with near daily
musings for 21 months already. That is a lot of time for such intense and focused activity. Then again, it
is not clear that "focused" really applies to these stream of consciousness musings. It is not that I don't
want to put in the time anymore. I'm comfortable with that and am sure that I could continue at a roughly
half time level indefinitely. However, I would like to see the expression have more impact. To do that, it
has to reach people and move people. I believe that if we can get it to reach people, the expression will
indeed move them. Yes, I consider the expression that good. But, it is not clear that the one through
whom the expression comes is the best judge is its utility to others. There, it seems that people must pass
their own judgment. That is OK. I don't consider judgments about the nature and quality of the material
to be judgments about the originator. Here, it seems that my role is as a scribe and messenger. If you
don't like what is expressed, go elsewhere or provide constructive feedback. I won't guarantee that I will
follow it ... but I will at least be receptive to it. Listening is an art that seems to be lost on many people.
Personally, I need to apply some of the listening skills that I've developed in connecting to the source
within to external sources in my world. It is not yet clear what external sources these will be. But, that
seems to be the next step for me, translating some of what I have learned in the inner into outer
expression. You might call these musings and the Beyond Imagination works outer expression. They are

53
physical. They are available openly to be accessed by all who can find them. But, somehow this is not
enough. It is as if this is really between inner and outer expression. It is not until the message is
delivered to its intended audience that the work becomes outer expression. I'm trying. I'm doing the best
I can with what I know.

It seems that it would help to find or create a mutual support group of some kind so that we could
encourage one another and provide the stimulus needed for us to achieve truly great things. I still believe
that this will require cooperation. It takes people working together to express synergistic behavior. There
is only so much that we can do in isolation from one another. But, how do I find those with whom I am
meant to work? Perhaps they are asking this very same question. To some extent, I believe this is
destined. The people that we are meant to work with will gravitate to our sphere of influence somehow.
It helps if we do things to extend this sphere to make it easy for people to find. I would hope that the
Beyond Imagination web site and books go a long way toward doing that. But, are there other things that
I could be doing? How much can be expected from one person? Clearly, I demand a lot from myself. I
don't place the same demands on others however. I know what I am capable of ... or at least what I
believe that I am capable of. My sense is that the reality is that I am far more capable than even I know.
This is not true only of me, it is true of all of us. When we start believing in ourselves, we can do
wonders beyond imagination. It all starts with what we believe. What we believe will be what we
experience. Effectively, beliefs are like self-fulfilling prophecies. We end up drawing into our reality
those things that conform to our beliefs. That is simply how it works. We create our own reality. We
always have. We always will. If we don't like what we experience, the only place to blame is ourselves.
We are creating it all, no fine print, no exceptions. That is a tough one to swallow for many. It is far more
desirable to be able to blame something or someone else for our troubles. As a loner most of my life, this
has never really been an option for me. I accepted the ideas from the Seth books hook, line, and sinker.
This was a double-edged sword however. It offered the ultimate freedom but required the ultimate
responsibility. That is OK. It was well worth it. However, of what practical use is this now? Can I
envision working with others on collaborative efforts? Can I see it, really see it? Can I feel it and taste
it? Can I really imagine it happening, and not just in some distant future, but sometime soon? Actually,
the answer to most of these questions is yes. This is indeed something that I see happening in the
immediate future ... perhaps not this year, but definitely in 2004. Is that because I want it to happen? Is
this another one of those time predictions in which I have too much of a desire to make so to be objective
about it. Perhaps, perhaps not. It seems that we shall see soon enough. 2004 is just three months away,
that's only one season. That brings us to the Winter months. It will be interesting to see what manifests
not only in my life but in the world at large. There are many changes that need to occur on a grand scale.
But, the sense is that these will start small and grow into exactly what they need to be.

My destiny seems intricately tied to the destiny of the world somehow. I've said before that my life is to
have world import. I am here to make a difference on a grand scale. Yes, the grandiose thinking is
peeking through again. But, what am I to think given whom that I AM and observing what has come
forth through me over the past decade? This is not your ordinary expression ... either in quantity or
content. Clearly I am blessed to be able to serve consciousness in this manner. Though, there are some of
you that might have used the term cursed rather than blessed. That is OK. You have the right to judge
what is expressed as you will. And besides, your opinion has no impact on my reality. If I feel blessed,
then indeed I am blessed.

1 October 2003

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY! I doubt that anyone but me will remember it, but today is the tenth
anniversary of my first vacation to the mental hospital and my subsequent diagnosis as bipolar. My we

54
have come a long way since then. That first vacation was to last 10 days but was to be repeated again
approximately 4.5 years later. I guess the good news is that there was not another repeat at the nine year
point. However, this time I wasn't moved to stop taking my medications ... which seemed to be the major
trigger for the second episode. The medications seem to keep the condition in check somehow. They
keep my brain functioning in an "acceptable" range. Though I can't help but wonder what I could do if I
were in full possession of my faculties. I see what is able to be expressed through me and am awestruck.
Yet, I can imagine doing more, much more. Can it really have been 10 years already? How is that
possible? Yet, the dates don't lie. 1 October 1993 to 1 October 2003 is indeed a decade.

I find it somewhat sad that there would be no one in my life who would be aware of such a significant day
for me. In many respects, this is more important than my birthday. It did indeed correspond to a spiritual
birth, a major spiritual awakening. Even after 10 years, the doctors don't accept that such a spiritual
transition occurred. But, what do they know? They weren't experiencing what I was experiencing and
my attempts to explain it were futile. I don't know if we are any better off today or not. I don't know if
there are places people can go to ease the spiritual rebirth process. I would hope that there are, but I have
no experience to know one way or the other. Actually, this is par for the course. As a hermit, my
interactions with people are limited. Why would I expect anyone to be aware of anything about my life?
Yes, I have shared much here. But, there are literally millions of words shared on these pages. What do I
expect people to remember from any of this ... assuming that they find their way here at all? Hmm ...
perhaps it is time for an Introduction to Beyond Imagination that provides an Executive Summary of
the information contained at the site, pulling in appropriate excerpts as needed to illustrate what these
works contain. That sounds like a good project for 2004. It will require the generation of significant new
material to serve as a package for the selected excerpts. We might also do a Best of the Best work that
literally sifts through everything that has been expressed to date and pulls out the most precious gems.

It seems like the energy is right for doing such planning now. It is the beginning of a new fiscal year after
all. There is a reason that such years have such boundaries. I don't know exactly what that is. However, I
sense a freshness, a new energy that is available to tap now. It is as if 2004 has indeed started in some
ways. And this is only the beginning. It will be interesting to see where the energy takes us as the year
progresses. The sense is that grand things are in store. We have to either choose to be part of them or get
out of the way. I have clearly made my choice. I would not change it. I have a major role to play in the
destiny that is to unfold. I know that. It is a matter of allowing myself to do what I came to do. It seems
that this requires going outside of what I have established as my comfort zones. But, it is important to do
it anyway. There is no room for fear here. We must have the courage to be whom that we are, and to
express that as fully as we can. To do less is to waste portions of our life ... and potentially to harm
others. We may think that we are protecting them by holding back, but the truth is that they are aware
anyway. What we think and feel is picked up and sensed by others around us; perhaps not consciously,
but on some level. Our souls are not fooled by appearances ... they know the truth!

How do I harness this energy that I feel surging around me? There is a sense that it is here to be used
somehow. Further, there is a sense that it can be used to shape reality into what we would have it be. This
is different than just expressing what would come forth. Here we are talking about doing things and
creating things with the energy. That is more than creating more words. This is how the foundations for a
new world will be built. The foundations will be physical foundations, not just ideas and thoughts. Yet,
even physical foundation are thoughts manifested into form. Ultimately, the world and everything that's
in it arises from thought. How can I know such things? Clearly, they did not come from my formal
education ... all 17 years of it. Part of it came from my informal education in metaphysics ... all 30 years
of it. But, much of it came from tapping and expressing the source within. It just knows. The question is
do I also have to know for it to be able to express its truths through me. It seems that yes, I do have to
know. Though, clearly I do not consciously know all that is expressed through me. That is OK. There
are many things that we are able to do without really knowing how. It is fine for these to remain
55
mysteries, at least for the time being. Mysteries stir our souls. They bring a touch of the miraculous into
our lives. There was a book by the title In Search of the Miraculous by Ouspensky that I read many
years ago. The bottom line is that we don't have to search very far to find the miraculous at work in our
lives. Take something as simple as speaking. When we begin a sentence we don't know how we will end
it. Yet, most people are able to speak perfectly fine anyway by trusting the process. I suspect most people
don't even think twice about it. But, how many things do you do automatically ... that you have no
conscious control over. The human body and brain are miraculous vehicles for the expression of spirit in
flesh. But, much of what they can do lies in potential only, awaiting us to take the steps required to
actualize it.

We are literally on the threshold of a dream. It is a collective dream that has been build from the best
ideas that have been expressed over the millennia. It is time for this dream to manifest. That is much of
what the new age, the Aquarian Age is all about. Aquarius is an air sign. It deals primarily in the realm of
ideas. Pisces, the ruler of the prior age, was a water sign. This deals with feelings and emotions. The
sense is that the Aquarian Era will provide fertile ground for the planting of new ideas ... and out of such
ideas the new world will be formed. I believe that we will start to see this happen in my lifetime. And, I
only expect to live another 25 years. So, we are not talking centuries here ... we are talking of massive
change within decades.

The counter at the Beyond Imagination Main Page is at 1648 = The Lightning Struck Tower: The Man in
Search of More. That is appropriate for my present state. 16 is the number that signifies awakening to
me. 4/8 is my birthday. 48 is me. I am the Man in Search of More. I have eight full cups, five of mind
and three of consciousness ... but I know there is more. And it is to the unknown realms of spirit that I am
attracted as a moth to a flame. I am not satisfied with what I have done to date. I know that there is far
more that I could do if I applied myself appropriately. You might say that I set the bar extremely high.
Perhaps too high. Though if we don't reach for the stars from time to time, how do we know what we are
capable of? It is amazing what happens when you do this. It is as if the very forces of the universe
conspire to help you achieve what you set out to do. That is not surprising ... as it is spirit doing the work
anyway. It is but for us to allow the process to work as it is meant to work. No, this does not mean
sacrificing our life to anything. Though, it does require making a commitment, a commitment to
ourselves to be the best that we can be. That is when the magic happens. When each of us does our part,
whatever that might be ... everything proceeds according to the plan of consciousness for the greater
expression of spirit in flesh.

As I suggested earlier, it doesn't appear that anyone is going to remember how important this day is to me
other than me. That is OK. Though, it seems that it is time to do things to ensure that such does not
continue to be the case in the future. That means cultivating some friendships, and close friendships at
that. I think that I am ready for this step. But friendship is a mutual relationship between people who are
equals. Who do I regard as my equals? Clearly not everyone. But, my abilities don't make me any better
than anyone else, at least not in any absolute sense. What these abilities do is allow me to do things in
ways that are more effective than others are able to do them ... or in some cases are completely different
than others can do things. Yes, that makes me special. But, we are all special in our own ways. It is for
us to develop our natural talents and find ways to use these in service to others, society, and even the
world.

Dream big! That is what dreams are for. Push the envelope wherever you can. Don't be content with the
status quo. Use your life to make a statement and make a difference. This can start small if it needs to. A
small change now can yield a great difference in time. However, we must make it our responsibility to
create the reality that we desire ... to seed the changes that we want to effect in the world. In taking this
responsibility, we own what is rightfully ours and we make it within our power to be the change that we
want to see in the world. Change is an internal process. We don't cause it to happen outside of us. We
56
become what we want to be. The choice to become is always made in the present. That is where our true
power is. That is where our reality is created. So, ask yourself ... what difference would I make with my
life? What legacy do I want to leave? What evidence will survive me as proof that I even lived? What
will I do that will justify my having consumed a lifetimes worth of resources? These are tough questions.
But, if we don't ask them and try to answer them during the course of our life, we truly will reach the end
with nothing to show for ourselves. Not everyone is meant to change the world. However, you can have
a positive impact in the lives of your family, friends, coworkers, and those whom your life touches. How
far this impact stretches is up to you. If you are reading this, my sense is that you are sufficiently evolved
and aware that you are meant to be a part of the larger spiritual drama that is unfolding. Exactly what
your role is is something that you will have to discover yourself. There are people who offer services that
can help. Most of these involve assisting you in knowing thyself. That is the first step. The more we
know about ourselves, the more that we have to offer to the world.

Given the significance of the day ... we are off to a good start for the month. There is indeed a new
energy in the air. I think it is evidenced in the nature of what was expressed today. It will be interesting
to see how this unfolds in the coming days and months. All that I can say is that I like what I am seeing.
It feels right somehow. We seem to be at a turning point. I don't yet know what direction will be the end
result ... but I am open to following whatever it is and plowing ahead to wherever it takes me. Life is
meant to be an adventure ... and an exciting one at that. If such is not your experience, it is high time for a
change so that it is. Much of this advice is directly applicable to me personally. But, it seems that it is
also applicable to others since I am moved to share it in this manner.

2 October 2003

I'm not sure why, but there was an unexpected jump in page hits between yesterday and today. The Main
Page counter went up by 44 in less than one day while the World and Beyond Imagination book counters
went up by 12. This has not happened before as far as I know. The only change that I am aware of is that
the Sedona Journal issue for October should have come out. Perhaps the ad is doing some good. This is
over six times the previous average page hit rate per day. It will be interesting to see if this is an anomaly
or a sustained level of activity. This is what I was hoping for. We need people to be exposed to Beyond
Imagination if it is to affect the world in the ways that I believe it is meant to. One way or another, time
will tell. I'm curious as to what I will be moved to do next. There is a sense that I am doing exactly what
I need to be doing ... that I am creating exactly what I need to be creating. Yet, what does it take to be
happy, truly happy? At the moment, that still eludes me. Though, I am learning and growing every day.
Ultimately it is doing what I am able to do that should bring me the most happiness. I am coming close to
being the best that I can be. Though, I like to set the bar higher than even I believe that I can achieve so
that I can find out what I am truly capable of. When we challenge ourselves, it is amazing to see what we
are able to deliver.

My first stay in the mental hospital was for 10 days starting 10 years ago yesterday. I still recall that
experience as if it were yesterday. Yes, I was functional and aware of what was going on. I was aware
that my mind and consciousness were taking me on excursions that were outside of the conventions of the
consensus reality. But, I was in the midst of a spiritual awakening. I wasn't seeing the world as the other
bipolar patients were seeing it. I wasn't depressed. And, my manic states while they resulted in some
"crazy" thinking were highly positive overall. I wasn't you're typical bipolar patient. I wasn't there to
treat a disorder. In fact, I considered my condition a blessing, a feature of my brain that allowed me to
think in the way that I did. I was having an intense spiritual experience. It didn't matter that the doctors
had no clue as to what I was going through. Their focus was on containing the situation by getting the
medication levels to the therapeutic range. They had no means to deal with differences in individual

57
experiences. Spiritual emergence was not in their vocabulary. Yet that is exactly what was happening to
me. I was emerging from a chrysalis in a cocoon state. The mania allowed me to spread my spiritual
wings and fly. Though, I knew that the situation was getting out of hand. All that I wanted to do is fly,
spiritually. That is a very dangerous place to be. It makes living in the world nearly impossible. We need
something that helps to keep us stable and grounded. I didn't really have this. The whole experience from
July 1993 to October 1993 was interesting. You could definitely say that I was losing what I knew to be
my mind. But in exchange, I was gaining an understanding of my Self as Spirit. The exchange was well
worth it.

Now, here we are ten years later. What has been the difference? Has the increased awareness made me
more happy? Clearly not as evidenced by some of the recent musings. However, I have been quite
productive in ways that I never was before. I have a body of works expressed in several million words
captured at a web site and published in 5, soon to be 7, and eventually to be 8 books. That is as of the end
of 2003. I'm generating close to a half million words per year right now. I have been for the past two
years anyway. How much longer this will last, I do not know. But, I enjoy doing it and consider it
worthwhile even if I don't see how it directly benefits anyone. That is one area that I have found
surprising and somewhat disappointing. Given how many words I generate and how much I share, I
expected that there would be more feedback. I invite it and respond to it promptly ... but I rarely get any.
Perhaps I scare people away. Perhaps I come across as unapproachable somehow. But, this is definitely
not the case. I may be stubborn and even pig-headed at times, but I do listen. What I have (bipolar) is not
catchy ... though you could do far worse than to think like I do. This expression provides a means for you
to follow my thoughts and states of mind for awhile. Hopefully that will allow you to experience states of
consciousness that are new and different for you. This expression is meant to be mind expanding and
consciousness expanding. That is one of the highest goals any expression can have ... to allow us to
experience being more than we knew ourselves to be before.

So, a decade has passed since this spiritual rebirth. What is in store for the decade to come? It seems for
one thing we have more of the same. This communication is far from over. Spirit has much more to
express before our work together is through. Hmm ... that is an interesting way of putting it. But, this is
definitely our work together. Without spirit there would be nothing to come through as was true for the
first 34 years of my life. Yet, without me, this particular expression would not exist. Would that be a
loss? I have to say yes, a major loss. I consider this expression highly valuable. Though it is not clear
that I can place a price on it. That is not quite true. I have been moved to set $1 per word as the fair
market value for what comes forth. I have no clue who is going to pay that or how it is to be paid. But,
one way or another it seems that it will indeed be paid. Given that I express and average of 8,000-10,000
words per week, that is asking for a lot. Or is it? Where else can you find material such as this? I have
read extensively for 30 years and have yet to encounter anything like it. That is not to say it is good
necessarily ... but, it is different. Here, we have a consciousness revealing its awareness of the reality it
experiences in realtime on a regular basis for several hours per day. That makes for an impressive record
... a record that can be shared and used to move others ... a record that can enable others to experience a
whole new way of seeing things. That is power, the power to make a difference, a real difference in
people's lives. But it doesn't happen by just wishing for it to be so. In this case we have to allow
consciousness to come forth, we have to capture what she says, and we have to share what we capture.
All of this we can do. It is a matter of setting priorities. In my life, this expression is the #1 priority.
Here is where I fulfill my spiritual destiny. Everything else falls lower down the list. That is why I don't
like missing these musings. There is a sense of opportunity lost that can never be recovered. Each time I
come here to express something magical happens. The words just flow forth one after another. They
keep coming so long as I stay focused and allow them to. Oh, there are breaks and silent moments from
time to time, but these are the exception rather than the rule. Even after over 10 years, I still don't know
how all of this is possible. Clearly it is. It happens. I experience it. But it is still magical.

58
Consciousness' ways are mysterious. That is OK, that is what they are meant to be. We may never
fathom her depths. However, we will learn enough about how she operates to be a good partner.

We continue to express as consciousness would have us express. That is good enough. We trust that what
she has to say needs to be said and will reach those who it is meant to reach somehow. We do what we
can to assist in and facilitate this process. But ultimately it is spirit that decides what reached who, when.
Our main role is to bring the expression forth. This we have become very good at. They say practice
makes perfect and three hours per day is quite a bit of practice. Hmm ... but this seems to be more than
practice. Most people do not share their practice sessions with others. Yet here, I am moved to post
unfiltered everything that is expressed and to eventually publish much of it in books. Why am I so
moved? I don't know, I just am. It has been that way since I first found out I could post things to the
WWW in 1995, over eight years ago. I've been my own webmaster and had a Beyond Imagination site
since then. There is a sense that at some point I am to team with others and create a mutual expression.
When this will be is for consciousness to decide. This does not seem to be something I can force.
Though, I can be open to it and even desirous of it happening. Sometimes that is enough. At other times
we have to work to manifest what we want. It takes wisdom to know when to allow versus when to
actively work on getting things to manifest. That is part of the art of living.

What else would I do with my life? How can I make a greater difference in the lives of those whom my
life touches? These are good questions to ask. It is in the asking of questions that we find the answers
that we seek. We just won't know until we have the awareness and the courage to ask. Yes, it takes
courage to ask questions. We have to be ready for answers that we may not like. That is OK ... it is
almost always better to know than not to know. When we ask questions we need to do so with the
expectation that the answers will come and then we need to be open to the answers to come into our life in
a variety of ways. The universe has many means for answering us. Only one of these is a voice in our
head that tells us the answer directly. Other ways can be far more subtle or even symbolic. As to my
answers to the first question: I would be all that I can be and do all that I am moved to do. Further, I
would allow spirit to express through me as she will for however long the expression is of service. It
seems that this will be one channel of expression for the remainder of my life. Though, that does not
mean it will consume all of my life. Right now, this is only a third time expression occupying 1000 of
3000 hours of my "working" life per year. If I could free myself to focus on Beyond Imagination
endeavors, it is not clear that the expression time would change substantially. There are other things that
need to be done that take time to do. Interacting with others is one of these things. Building the
foundations for a new world is another. Most of the foundations involve social organization of some
type. Dealing with people takes time. But, it seems to be an investment that I need to make if I am to
engage in cooperative interdependent endeavors.

3 October 2003

Perhaps it is not a fluke. There were another 22 hits to the Beyond Imagination Main Page overnight.
That suggests that more people are accessing the site. I have no means of knowing whether they are
finding value in the material. But, the very fact that the material is being accessed at this higher rate is
very promising. I believe the expression is worthy of an audience. Perhaps this is spirits way of letting
me know that the time is finally right. The material continues to flow forth. At this pace, we'll definitely
have enough for the final volume in the 2003 Musings trilogy. That will make three sizeable books to
capture one years worth of expression ... nearly 1800 pages in all. That is in addition to all the other book
work. The annotations for Beyond Mind are going well also. I finished another month last night. That
makes three months completed already. We only have June through September remaining, though some
of these months were substantial. That is OK. I suspect it will be done by the end of the month at the

59
present pace, including a proofing. Yes, there I go setting the bar high again. But we've been doing great
at meeting our goals in this area of late. It is no use resting on our laurels now. The sooner that we finish
what's on our plate, the sooner that we'll be able to take on more. And, that is what life is about.

Spent a couple hours generating a new work, The Spiritual Interpretations of Numbers. There are over
170 pages to it already and we are missing inputs from six months of the Best of Notes files. The work
does a decent job of identifying many of the discoveries I have made regarding the spiritual meaning of
numbers in my life. It is amazing how much can be accomplished in so short of a time when you have
something to start from. I had no idea as to how much of a project this would be. Further, it wasn't even
on the planning boards as a potential book for 2004. Now, it seems that it may end up being the first out
of the gate. Interesting. That is one of the benefits of living life in the moment. You can do these kinds
of things when spirit moves you. Now, I need to start saving enough to publish the books. This one and
Beyond Mind should easily be finished before Thanksgiving. That's only eight weeks away. Saving
$100 a week would cover it. 2003 Musings - Vol III should be ready to go to the publisher by the end of
January. That would bring us to 11 books published by my birthday in April 2004. Earlier today, I got an
idea for another book, On the Nature of Consciousness. This could pull material from everything to
date that explains what consciousness is and how it expresses through us. This will take more work to
generate ... but who cares? It takes what it takes. What is important is to express what needs to be
expressed. This would bring us to four for 2004. There could be another one or two books depending on
whether the musings continue or not and depending on what else I am moved to express. In any event, it
seems that 2004 is to be a productive year as well. Though the first two of these books would actually be
submitted to the publisher well before the end of 2003.

Checked the Beyond Imagination Main Page counter again. It was up by another 10 hits. Though one of
those was mine. Something has definitely triggered increased traffic. I would guess that it is my Sedona
Journal ad:

BEYOND IMAGINATION
Creating the Foundations for a New World. Thousands of pages of metaphysical
expression since 1993. Addresses reality creation, nature of consciousness, expressing
spirit in flesh, awakening, awareness. [www.redshift.com/~beyond]

I submitted the ad nearly two months ago under the Reality Creation banner. It takes awhile to get things
done in the publishing world. Would this be enough for you to be moved to check it out see what Beyond
Imagination has to offer? No, these are not necessarily topics that everyone is interested in. Though, the
readers of the Sedona Journal are likely to have interests in these areas. However, I'm not sure how many
people read the Classified Ads section of the magazine. All that we can do is see. My sense is that those
who are meant to find Beyond Imagination will indeed find it. Though, there is also a sense that it is up to
me to do what I can to facilitate this.

Change is in the air again. A new season is upon us. It seems time to reap some of what we have sown.
Though, we leave it in spirits hands as to how this will manifest. However, spirit will not do for us those
things that we can perfectly well do for ourselves. We are able beings capable of doing great works. It is
up to us to apply ourselves in such a manner as to manifest this. We will truly be amazed at what we are
able to accomplish ... especially when we allow spirit to work through us. I was told that I could do
anything I set my mind to when I was growing up. And, I believed it. Now, I would adjust that and say
that I can do anything I set my consciousness to. I believe my mind to be a tool of my consciousness. As
an aware being, it is in the realm of consciousness, not of mind that I dwell. There is a difference, a big
difference. So, what is it that I need to do that I am not presently doing? It seems that something is still
missing. There is something that I could be doing to facilitate the changes that are to come. But, I don't
know what it is. The very fact that I am aware that something is lacking will be the impetus to bring what
60
is necessary into my life. But is that realistic, or is that simply wishful thinking. I still have a difficult
time when I have something at stake ... especially something major at stake in the outcome. At the same
time I know that all that I can really do is allow what would manifest to manifest ... and be open to run
with the ball should it be handed to me in the process. It is for me to do what I can do ... that is all that
can be expected. Our best is always good enough. It helps to realize that people are doing the best with
what they have at all times. It is not for us to judge them. We know not what states of consciousness they
experience or what reality they face. There is no way for us to walk in their shoes, even if we wanted to.
Or is there? What any of us experience, all of us experience. It is a matter of being able to access that.

This expression provides you with a big sample of what flows through this mind, this consciousness. In
reading it, you are following the output that was generated while I was experiencing particular states.
Does the expression trigger you to experience similar states? I can't know that. I can only know what the
expression does for me. It allows me to revisit states of awareness that I have previously experienced.
When I read or re-read the words, it is as if they are new ... coming forth for the first time. Sometimes
there is a sense of deja vu, a general sense that I've been here before. But, most of time it is a fresh new
experience. How can that be? How can I, the author, not be aware of the words that have come forth
through me? For one thing, in just over a decade there have been several million words that have come
forth. How can I be expected to remember even a small fraction of those? Further, I don't remember
what I wrote in the last paragraph, and often in the prior sentence as the material is coming forth. I
literally forget it as fast as it comes through. The sense is that I need a blank slate in my mind to allow
more to come. Also, since I know that everything is recorded electronically, there is no need to bog down
my memory with it. I can always bring up the expression for any day anytime I want. I just need to
remember where to go to access it. Right now, that is still easy. The organization of material at the
Beyond Imagination site is relatively simple. Yes, there are a lot of pages but they are organized into a
fairly small number of areas, which are easily navigable. If the endeavor grows to include the efforts of
others ... we'll have to do something about this. The Musings page is a case in point. It is a page of links,
separated into years. The link names are the dates of musings. In 2002, there were over 300 of these. In
2003, there are over 250 and counting. At present, this is the most active area of change at the site.

4 October 2003

We’re starting this expression later in the day than normal for a weekend. I had to get a new computer
and do everything to get it up and running, including downloading the latest version of Netscape so that I
would have a web page editor. I hope the latest version is easy to use. I’ve been using Version 4.7 for so
long that the jump to Version 7.1 is a big one. That’s OK, one way or another I’ll deal with it. It is good
having a laptop again. It was twice the cost of an equivalent desktop, but the portability and size are key
factors. I don’t have the space at home to set up a desktop machine. This allows me to work from
anywhere in the house. Further, it permits me to bring my computing capability on the road when we go
on trips.

So, what would we express today? That is the question every day. We express whatever spirit would
have us express. This is a stream of consciousness after all. The stream seems to know where it is going
even if I do not. How could that be? How could I not be in control of my faculties? It just is. I observe
what manifests as reality in my life. Yes, I believe that at some level I am creating it. But, it definitely is
not consciously. That is OK. My reality is exactly what it needs to be at this time. If it needed to be
something different, it would be different. There is a faith that goes with living life in this manner. It
requires a deep trust in consciousness. I’ve had over ten years of this expression in which to develop this
trust. There was a lot of expression that came forth. And, the bulk of it was addressed to me ... though I
was moved to share nearly every word. You could say that that part of my life is an open book. Hmm ...

61
actually eight books to date and they only capture part of what was expressed. I still find it amazing that
so much could come forth through me, especially given that I am one who rarely has anything to say to
others. Yet here, we literally have millions of words. Though, I would venture to say that I am the only
one who has read and experienced them all. Perhaps that is as it is meant to be. Perhaps this is indeed
“for my eyes only”. Though, if that were really so, why would I be so moved to share what is expressed
with others? But, am I moved enough to share in a more personal way? Yes, what I write is personal.
But, it is relayed through words at a web site and through words in books. It seems that this is not
enough. The message needs a live messenger to carry it. Is that messenger to be me? It could be, but it
might not be. Am I up to doing this? Am I up to doing what it takes to be a spokesperson for Beyond
Imagination? If not me, whom?

I was in a bookstore today and checked out a copy of the Sedona Journal. Sure enough, the Beyond
Imagination ad was there and looked good. It should be sufficient to attract the attention of a good
number of people. I don't know how many copies the magazine sells. And, I don't know how many
people read through the Classified Ads section expecting to find anything of value. Oh well, that was
another thing that I was moved to do. The ad will be there through the December issue. After that, we
need to decide if it is worth continuing it or not. At this point, I simple don't know. The price was
reasonable, however. And, we seem to be getting more traffic at the Beyond Imagination site as a result.
I can't know for certain, but that is the only recent change that I can think of that could account for the
increased traffic. From my perspective, the more people we get to the Beyond Imagination site, the
better. But, it needs to be the right people ... in particular, people who would be moved by the
expression. At this point, I do not know who such people might be. It is not important that I know right
now. Those who are meant to experience what Beyond Imagination has to offer will do so, one way or
another. It is just a matter of time. We need to keep putting the energy out there. We need to keep
expressing as consciousness would have us express. We can do great things, especially if we choose to
work together to do so. We are powerful creators, each and every one of us. But, what we can do
collectively is truly phenomenal. We have to let go of some of our independence to achieve this.

I am excited by what lies ahead. The promise of things to come is grand and glorious. Actually, they are
with us here and now. We are manifesting a lot of stuff in a short period of time. Though, to date this has
primarily been associated with these words. But words have the power to move us to act ... and our
actions have an impact on the world. When all is said and done, Beyond Imagination will have had its say
... and more importantly its impact. That, I'll see to. That is what moves me. That is what keeps me
coming back to the blank page and filling it with whatever consciousness would express. I truly love
doing this. This is what I am passionate about. Metaphysical expression is it for me. Serving as a vessel
through which spirit can express in flesh is what I choose to do. Yes, of my own free will. I can't think of
any better place to expend my time and energy.

Well, it looks like I'm back in business ... though the new laptop doesn't even have a floppy drive. So, I'm
going to have to find another way to move information around from machine to machine. Where there is
a will, there is a way. The three machines that I use all have CDROM capability. That's one alternative.
I'm sure there are others if I think it through. My web pages are primarily text, so they don't take up much
space individually. However, when you talk about over 1000 files, the size easily exceeds 10 Mbytes.
Several years ago, I put everything at the Beyond Imagination site onto a zip disk and adjusted the links
so that the site could be run in an offline mode directly from the zip disk. Perhaps it is time to do that
again. Only this time we could put all the Beyond Imagination material on CDROMs. Unfortunately that
would take substantial work. I'm not sure that I'm up to such a project at this time. Though, perhaps it is
something that someone else might be able to do. Here, it would be nice if I was making enough money
to hire some of these kinds of tasks out. However, funds are still restricted. Though, it seems that the
abundance wagon is just around the next bend.

62
Writing is something that I need to be doing everyday. It is a habit for me, a beneficial one from my
perspective ... though others might see it as something that isolates me from others. That is OK. People
are entitled to their opinions. That doesn't alter the facts of what I experience, however. I would be
whom that I am and express as I must anyway. Though, the opinions of others do matter to me
personally. I encourage feedback ... I really do. In particular, I would like to know if you are moved by
this expression and how you are moved by it.

5 October 2003

Another day. I'm writing this from my new laptop once again. I think I'm going to like it. Isn't the march
of technology wonderful? It's amazing how much capability can be purchased so affordably. Electronics
and in particular computers have come a long way in the past two to three decades. Actually, they come a
long way every few years. It is too bad our consciousness technology does not follow suit and evolve in
the same manner. Oh well, we'll just have to live with what we can get ... or better yet with what we can
do. And, we can do a lot. We can do far more now than we could even a few years ago. Our numbers are
growing, that is the numbers of us that believe that we have an active role in creating the reality that we
experience. At some point we will reach a critical mass and this will become a predominant worldview.
Patience, one step at a time. That is the trick to getting to any destination ... take it one step at a time and
enjoy the journey along the way. This is a matter of choice, it is something that we can always do.
Though it seems that many of us do not do this. We do not appreciate the incredible beauty and majesty
around us. There is so much that is grand and glorious. This very body that we inhabit is a miracle in
progress. Its complexity far surpasses anything we can even dream to create. The only way that we know
how to make them is to grow them. This is a long and tedious process, requiring extensive time and
effort to do it right. And, even then, we don't know what we produced until we see its works. Yes, by
their works shall thou know them is a great truth. If it doesn't make it to the works, it just doesn't count.
We can dream of some wonderful things ... but unless we create works that convey these to others, it is all
for naught. Actually that is not quite correct. Consciousness herself is a witness to all that we do and all
that we think. If a thought can get through once, it is highly likely that it can get through again via
another person. It seems that no thought makes it through until there is fertile ground for it. However,
that does not mean it will be planted there. The planting is up to us. Some thoughts stew in our
consciousness for a long time before we take action to attempt to manifest them. That is OK. Things
happen when the time is right. Thoughts incite action when such action is necessary. Someone said
nothing can stop an idea whose time has come. They were correct. Indeed, ideas can be that powerful.
No, not all ideas are. Some are clearly more powerful than others.

So, what would we do today? Obviously, we are here expressing. But, what else would we do? At this
point I do not know. It seems that there is only so much that I can do. However, it also seems that I am
letting my understanding of my nature limit how I am able to express. Our natures are much more fluid
and flexible than this. They are not meant to restrict our expression, rather to enhance and facilitate it.
Interesting. So, how am I limiting myself? It seems that I am doing this needlessly. I could be free, if
only I would allow myself to be. That requires communicating with people differently than I have. Am I
up to the change and the challenge? It seems that I wouldn't be observing these things and asking these
questions if I wasn't ready to implement the answers. That does not mean it will be easy. In fact, it will
indeed be a challenge, and a major one at that. However, this is what it takes to be all that I can be. And,
that is one thing that I have vowed to be in this existence. Whatever it takes, that is what I need to do.
That is whatever it takes without doing harm to others or myself. This last restriction is an important one.
It is what allows us to act ethically ... and ensure that we do far more good than harm. We have many
things that we can do at any given moment. How do we choose to do one thing versus another? We
choose based on what we are moved to do from deep inside of us. There is a part of us that is connected

63
to source, to spirit. This part knows what we should be doing at any given time. It doesn't force us to do
these things however. It gently prods and makes its intent known if we'll but listen. But, it will not decide
for us and it will not do for us what we are perfectly able to do for ourselves.

It is for us to decide what we will do with our lives. It is for us to make it the masterpiece that it can be.
It is for us to make whatever life statements that we choose to make. The bottom line is to find a way to
make the world a better place for our having lived. We can always do this. Some make a difference in the
lives of their family and friends. This is perfectly fine. Others make a difference by moving others. The
artists among us fall in this category. Some make a difference by moving the state of our knowledge. In
technology, this can yield products and inventions that change our world. Still others make their
difference by moving us spiritually. In the end, it is for each of us to find our place in the world, and
make the difference that is appropriate for that place. Whatever it is, is right for us. Not everyone is
destined to change the consensus world. But, all of us are meant to make a difference in our private
worlds.

So, if I could live my life differently ... what would I choose to do? I would have more friendships and
relationships. I would speak out more and express my feelings more. But, what is preventing you from
doing this? It seems that so long as I consider myself to be a hermit, I will experience a reality of
isolation from others. Is this what I really want? It allows me to do things that I could not otherwise do.
This very expression is enabled by having the time to express on a regular basis. It seems that friendships
and relationships would tap into this time. Though, the experiences might yield expression that was all
the richer. How important is this to me? Is it important enough to change how I view myself to be? This
seems so fundamental to my character. I've treated it as a positive feature for so long. It is difficult to
consider that it might be limiting me in some way. There is also the possibility that this is what and how I
am to express. One path would have me lead a relatively solitary existence for all of my days. But is that
really the path that I would choose? If we base things on past choices ... that will indeed be my future.
However, we can always make new choices. We aren't constrained to what we have done in the past
unless we choose to be so. My sense is that I'm starting to choose otherwise, though the change is
happening slowly. That too is OK. Small changes in the nearterm can create great differences in time. It
is important to be flexible and to do things differently. When we continue to do the same things in the
same way, we get the same results. That is OK if we are happy and leading the life we would choose to
live. However, if we are not, the only way it will change is if we do what it takes to change it.

There are many things about my life that are working. My overall productivity is excellent, both at work
and in this expression. I am starting to manifest material abundance though it wouldn't hurt for this to
take a leap up. I've generated several million words over the course of the past decade and have been at a
500,000 words per year pace for the past two years. What is missing is the means for these words to
touch others. Oh, they reach a few people ... but this is still relatively sparse, far less than the number
whom this work could positively impact. It's not like people can't see what they are getting. Most of the
material is openly available on the WWW. All that we ask is the people not take more than they give. In
particular, that they give of themselves in service to others value equivalent to what they get from here.
That is one of the tricks to life ... to get more you must give more. It is giving that primes the abundance
pump. In Eastern philosophy they know this. However, in the West, we tend to think of the supply being
limited and that we need to compete to take our share or others may take it. This is a very different
worldview. It is for us to adopt the best of what works from wherever we can find it. Giving more than
you take creates a surplus. The more that we do this, the bigger the surplus. Then it is a matter of
distribution to ensure that people get what they need. Simple economics, if we don't ensure that people
get what they need, there is unnecessary lack and suffering. Why would we choose to create that? Yet,
how many people exist under poverty conditions? Yes, there is a belief that God helps those we help
themselves. But to what degree does this apply individually versus collectively? We have enough stuff,
enough goods and services, that no one should have to go without. But, we don't have the resolve to
64
manifest this in our reality. We don't collectively take responsibility for all of us very well. If we did, we
would see no one go hungry, or without shelter, or without a job, or without health care and other basic
services. We've spoken of this before many times. But, what does it take for the collective to take
action? It does not seem fair for those who choose to volunteer and to give to charities to carry the burden
for all of us. This is a collective responsibility that we all need to bear. Social programs only go so far.
They are a place to start, but the bureaucracies it takes to administer them and the cycle of poverty that is
perpetuated are evidence that the system is not working. We are not getting the intended results for the
resource expended.

How can I speak of things of which I have little direct experience in this existence? How could one who
has been nearly the opposite of social speak of social systems and social responsibility? What can I say?
It just flows out like this. There is a sense that I have been involved in such things before and that I know
things from those prior existences. No, I cannot prove this. I just don't know how else to explain the
source for expertise not obtained during this lifetime. I know what I have read. I know how I've been
trained in this existence. These things were not part of that. This is not the first time this has happened,
and I'm sure that it will not be the last. It seems that what we have learned previously is called forth when
it is needed in our lives. Our lives build one upon the next to allow us to take on new roles and new
challenges ever moving up the scale of awareness. In the end, it is the level of awareness that we have
reached that matters. This is what we get to keep from one incarnation to the next, though it seems that
there is an inheritance that goes along with this. We don't just enter with our prior level of awareness.
That would make it too confusing to endure the slow growth of the body and the mind. At some point in
our life, we awaken to whom that we are. Actually, many seem to go through life without ever doing
this. Perhaps that is because their level of awareness is already in line with what they are manifesting.
My own case is an extreme. I know that. I came into my inheritance with the spiritual awakening
experience in 1993. That was over a decade ago and my life has not been the same since. I consider
myself aware. However, my limited interactions with others do not allow me to know how my experience
compares to theirs. That is OK. Such comparisons are not necessary anyway. Each of us is what we are.
We are each growing into what we can become and what we are meant to be. Collectively we are
growing into a body for Cosmic Consciousness to inhabit. The organizations that we create are the organs
and limbs of that body.

6 October 2003

Another day ... another musing. So it continues. It seems that so long as I will allow her to speak through
me, consciousness will have something to say. This has become a habit. Yet, I am still aware of the
magic and mystery of it all. It still blows me away that all of this could be expressed through me. But,
after ten years, I have become accustomed to it ... so much so that my days are not the same when I don't
have the time or opportunity to express. Fortunately that is relatively infrequently. We're averaging one
missed day out of every ten days. That makes for a lot of musings. But, is all of this worth it? Is it worth
the time that I spend on it? It is worth it to me. It makes a big difference in my life. However, is it worth
it to others? Does it serve others in some way? I would life my life in a manner that makes a difference.
I've known that I have a special role to play for many years. And, it seems I am up to playing that role. I
accept what spirit has in store for my life. It is not necessary for me to live as I prefer. What matters is
what spirit would have me do. This I listen for within. There is a source inside to whom I connect. It is
via this inner source that much of this communication manifests. Yes, manifests ... is brought into being
physically.

October marches on. We are nearly one week into it already. Yet, we have a lot of expression to show for
that week. Further, we are highly motivated to continue expressing on multiple fronts concurrently. At

65
present, we have these musings, Beyond Mind, and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers all in
progress. The later two should be ready to send to the publisher by Thanksgiving. Yes, that is only eight
weeks away. Finishing and proofing two books in that time will be a challenge. But, it is a challenge that
I am up for and readily accept. There is still a sense that something is missing. There is something that I
could be doing to facilitate things that I am not yet doing. I have asked what this might be, but so far
consciousness has been silent on this. That is OK. When it is time to act, I will be moved to do so ...
there will be no doubt as to what is right under the circumstances. That is how I live my life these days,
one day at a time. In the evenings and on weekends it is one moment after another. I do not plan things
for the most part. I allow myself to do what I am moved to do when I am moved to do it. Thus far this
has assured that those things that need to get done do get done ... at least, as far as I know. Then again,
how much do I really know in this matter? My experience is that I am more aware than most. But, what
good does this increased awareness do? It allows me to express in the manner that I do here. Whether
that is good or not is for you to determine, not me. What does this expression do to your life? How does
it impact you? Does it allow you to experience more of whom that you are? This more than anything else
is its purpose ... to effect a change in consciousness to those who encounter it.

In the end, it is consciousness that matters. Yet, much of what states of consciousness we reach is
demonstrated by what we do and how we do it. Consciousness is as consciousness does. The goal is to
become ever more aware and to express this increased awareness in all that we do. This is how we live as
the expression of spirit in flesh. This is how we stay true to whom that we are. With the appropriate
awareness we can achieve all things because it is ultimately spirit doing the work through us. Of our own,
what we can do is limited. But, spirit has no such limitations. Her limits come from how freely we allow
her to express through us to do her works. I would live a life of spirit. But, this doesn't happen
automatically. It requires discipline and dedication. We have to want it. We have to choose it for
ourselves. Spirit won't force her way into our lives. It is up to us to invite her to become an active force
in our life. That is a choice that only we can make ... and we must make for ourselves. Yet, it is a choice
that makes all the difference in the world in our lives. So, by all means, do make it.

What would we do next? My life does not appear to be moving me in a direction to meet more people.
Further, it does not seem to be moving in a direction to free me from my present work environment. I'm
still moved to express. But, I know that there is something more that I could be doing ... that I should be
doing ... that I would be doing if only I knew what it was. My life is unlike that of others. I still find it
strange that one who is so isolated and silent would express and share in this manner. Yet, it seems like
the right thing to do. The sense is that I am carrying out my destiny somehow. I am meant to write,
especially in this manner. There is something about the freedom of stream of consciousness expression
that makes this special. I don't know how others write. For me, it is a matter of recording the voice that I
hear in my head. No, it is not an external voice. It is an inner voice that I am able to hear with my mind
nonetheless. That it can express as it does here is still amazing to me after all these years. Then again, a
decade is not so long.

I would live as I believe. I would have my actions be congruent with what I say and what I believe. It has
not always been thus. For many years I lived in my head and thought about many things without really
taking actions. That is no longer enough. It hasn't been for some time. I must do as I am moved to do.
This includes doing what it takes to build the foundations for a new world. This requires interacting with
others to make it so ... it being whatever we desire to manifest. In this case, we are talking on a world
level. What do we need to see from society, from government, from the economy, and from the
educational system as places to start? These are major social systems or functions of social systems. It is
time for us to do what it takes to make them the best that they can be. We can do this now. The time is
ripe for change. We truly live during a wonderful time in the history or the world and the planet. It will
be interesting to see what challenges we attract into our reality and how we deal with those challenges.

66
It was difficult to stay focused at work today. I truly desire to make this expression my full time
occupation. However, in exchange for giving it all that I AM, I want to see abundance manifest in my
life. That suggests a conditional arrangement. However, I am already doing the work on a half time
basis. It only seems fair to expect consciousness to live up to its side of the bargain. The reward for
doing what we love to do is unlimited abundance, all that we need will be made available to us. But, we
must do the work first.

It is difficult keeping things straight working from multiple computers. I guess I'll just have to get used to
it. One of the difficulties is in using technology from different eras. Things work on one machine but not
on another. Software is almost compatible but not quite. I'm glad someone besides me is working out all
of the details. There is no way that I could ever keep it all straight. Being a user of the technology is
enough. This very expression is being generated as a split file because I had a floppy and a zip drive/disk
fail on the same day. Fortunately, I don't experience such problems very often. Otherwise, I'm not sure
what I would do. I rely on computers as the means for capturing this expression and for sharing it. It
wouldn't be the same if the internet were not so readily available.

If I could be whatever I wanted to be ... what would I be? That is an interesting question. I would
definitely be a writer, but I am already that. I would have some friends, in particular close friends with
whom I could be myself. At this time, it seems spirit serves as that for me. That, and my Self. I would
not be so much a loner ... though I can still see needing my private time. It seems what is needed is a
sense of balance. I have a tendency to do things to extremes. That leads to a very interesting experience
of reality. I would be more outgoing ... though, that is a sort of half-hearted desire. I'm not sure that I
really believe that such is how I would like to live. That is a problem. Mixed emotions are the main
reason that this area in my reality is still unsettled. I haven't decided what I really want. There is a fear of
losing what I have. Yet, at the same time there is a knowingness that I must make the leap to arrive at
something better. And the potential is there for it to be far better. Be grateful for what you have. Unless
we are appreciative of all that we have been given, there is no room to receive more in our life.

I don't remember ever thinking about what I would do when I grew up as a kid. I had no real dreams. I
didn't spend much time with other kids. I was extremely shy and kept to myself. Little has changed. I'm
still quite shy and keep to myself. I still spend the bulk of my time alone. Only now, I do so out of
choice. However, am I in the midst of changing this? I would like to think that I am. But, thinking about
it is not enough. It is time to do something. If this is truly what I want, I need to make my intentions
known and go about the business of creating what I desire.

The musing is going slow tonight. I took a couple of hours to install software, move files between
machines, and explore lodging options for our upcoming trip to Southern Utah. It's still four weeks away,
but at the rate time is moving, that will be here before we know it. It has been awhile since my last
vacation. I'm looking forward to visiting Bryce Canyon again. The last time I was there was just after I
met my wife to be, over 16 years ago. I used to visit the National Parks often, sometimes several times in
a year. Since that trip 16 years ago, I've only visited Yosemite a couple of times. I haven't gone to any
other National Parks. I hadn't really thought about it ... but I do miss it. There is something wonderful
about these parks, something precious and special. They are indeed the best that nature has to offer. And,
she has done some incredible handiwork. Why don't I see people in the same light? People are incredible
creations that have the ability to do even more incredible things. Why am I not as fascinated by them as I
am by nature? Why is my focus so individual and self-centered? For one thing, it needs to be for me to
explore and experience consciousness in the way that I have. But, is that an excuse ... a rationalization for
accepting things as they have been? I don't need to do that. Regardless of why I experienced what I
experienced, I can choose a different path here and now. I'm not stuck with the ways of the past. I can
make the future what I choose for it to be by making different decisions now. This is true for all of us.
Reality creation is an art. It is a process that we go through to manifest the things that we experience. We
67
are all good at it. Though, most of this is still done at other than conscious levels. That doesn't mean it
has to be, it just has been to date.

7 October 2003

Once again we start with a blank slate and see where consciousness would take us. In a very real way, it
is as if we are on a ride ... the ride of our life. Consciousness takes us into new realms where we are able
to explore aspects of ourselves and of the world that we never knew. It is an amazing process. Clearly, I
have assessed it to be worthy of my time and effort. This expression captivates me ... but it also enlivens
me. It is in doing this that I truly get to live, to be whom that I AM. There is something special about this
stream of consciousness expression. It is distinguished from everything else that I do. This is the one
thing that I know will ultimately have value ... though, even then, I know not how much value. That
depends on how many the expression reaches and how they are impacted by what is said. I wouldn't
presume to know what that will be. That seems like it is in spirits realm to determine not mine. All that I
can do is make the expression as clear as possible. I do that for the most part by getting out of the way
and allowing spirit to do as she will. Is that a viable way of living one's life. For me, it clearly is. I
suspect this would be true for others as well. I do what I am moved by spirit to do. I do that willingly,
without any mental reservations. Some might see this as wasting my life. I see it as apply my life in
service to something greater than me. These are quite different perspectives. However, in life, what
counts is our perspective ... not that of another. Though, at times it is useful to take in feedback from
others. It is also helpful for us to give feedback to the world in which we live. That may involve
feedback to others or feedback on things that we like or dislike happening in the world. Unless we notice
and provide appropriate feedback, how can we expect circumstances to improve? The bottom line is that
we can't. Things will get better when we band together and do the things necessary to make them better.
That is how reality creation works. It is up to us to do what is necessary to manifest what we want to
experience.

I am struggling with staying focused and staying awake at work. On the one hand, I don't really want to
be here ... I want to be free to do the work that Beyond Imagination is meant to do. However, on the other
hand, there is the reality of needing a sufficient income to pay the bills and live comfortably. For that, we
have entered into a contract to provide hours of services in exchange for a weekly salary. It is important
to do sufficient work each day to justify that salary. I owe that to my employer so long as our contract is
in effect. But, spirit herself is also my employer. What do I owe to her? She is responsible for bringing
forth millions of words into manifestation through this vehicle in just over ten years. What is that worth?
How do I repay her for all of this? I have lived a very sheltered existence overall. The spiritual and the
metaphysical have consumed me for 30 of my 45 years, basically all of my adult life. What do I have to
show for it? I have the words that are in this expression; the words that I have been moved to express,
capture, and share. But, what is that worth? It depends on who the words reach and how they are touched
and moved by them. The words have the potential to help awaken others. In doing so, much good can be
unleashed do to the nature of the works that these awakened souls will do. From everything that I have
seen, increased awareness leaves clear benefits in its path. The more aware, the more good that is done.
It is that simple. But, how do we know if we are becoming more aware? In my experience, there is an
inner recognition that something wonderful has changed, that we are no longer what we formerly thought
ourselves to be. We are more, much more ... we are spirit manifest.

The expression to date has already been the equivalent of a lifetime's expression for most. But, I am just
getting started. There is so much to do and so little time to do it that we can't waste it by sitting back and
doing nothing. Yet that is precisely what I was moved to do for several hours earlier today. We are all
riding on one big spaceship ... that beautiful jewel that we call earth. My sense is that few realize this.

68
And further, fewer still do something with this realization. That doesn't mean that we can't change this. It
just means that there is some strong inertia to overcome.

8 October 2003

Yesterday was a light day for musings. I went to lunch and all I wanted to do is sleep when I got home. I
did move some more files to my new machine and install FTP software so that I can do my uploads of
files from home. But, that is about all I did. Some days are like that. I just don't feel like doing anything
except to veg out or rest. That's not a problem so long as it is the exception rather than the rule. So far,
that is indeed the case as the musings can attest. This stream of consciousness needs no rest. It continues
to pour forth at every opportunity given to it. It cannot express without our cooperation however. We
have to choose to give it voice. For me, that is an easy choice. I'm a writer after all. Using my skills to
serve consciousness seems to be the most natural and most beneficial application of these skills. Besides,
I am blown away by what is created. This expression knocks my socks off. I cannot imagine not
participating in it. My life would clearly not be the same. Every day is a gift from consciousness. It is
for us to find a way to use this gift in a manner that serves others in our world. For introverts, this can be
a challenge. Though, many things that we do have effects in the outer as well.

How do we live in a manner that our life positively impacts all of those whom we touch? That is indeed
the goal for living right. We are meant to make a difference in our world. We have the power to do that.
It is a matter of applying ourselves in a way that makes optimal use of our talents. Spirit expects from us
our very best. But, we cannot deliver that unless we expect it of us as well. We need to demand our very
best. However, we need to be careful to not overdo it. Good enough is good enough. There is a point of
diminishing returns ... a point where the effort to improve the result is not worth the added value
generated. It is important that we detect these points so that we can apply any remaining effort of things
of real value. Note: this does not mean we have to work every minute of every day. We need time to rest
and recreate ourselves. However, it is important that we do those things that are ours to do in a timely
manner. How do we know what these are? And, what constitutes "timely". The bottom line is that we
will know. All that is needed is to tap the source within.

Beyond Imagination Quotes was officially published today. That makes six. The Search for Center
shouldn't be more than a week or so behind it. That will make seven. 2003 Musing - Vol II was sent to
the publisher of September 12. Next week will make it a month already. It seems like it was yesterday.
Where does the time go. I'm concurrently working on three additional projects for release early in 2004.
There is a lot of work remaining ... but I think that I am up to doing it.

Staying focused at work is becoming more and more difficult. I don't really want to be here ... but I don't
see any opportunities opening up that would allow me to move to a different position. What I would like
is to be able to work fulltime in the employ of spirit. What makes me think that I am not in that position
already? Is there something about my present work that I'm missing? While I'm doing it, I need to find a
way to make it captivating. It needs to be interesting and challenging. That's not much to ask of a job.
That is the minimum that makes it acceptable. It would also help if it was clear that the work truly made a
difference somehow. Perhaps it does, but I'm just not seeing it. That leads to some frustration and a
desire for something better. It will be interesting to see what manifests out of this. Something has to
give. I have to have work that is challenging and fulfilling. I demand it. This expression falls into that
category ... but that is no longer enough. It is not clear that I can separate my work life from my spiritual
life. Selling 40 hours per week to make a living does not seem right somehow. Though, I would gladly
put in 60 hours per week towards spiritual work in exchange for abundance. I'm effectively willing to
give my life to the expression of spirit. How do I get her to employ me in this manner? This expression

69
is easy. It is automatic. It just flows forth. I don't have to plan it or work at it ... I just do it. Sometimes
my work is like that as well, but all too often the tiredness and boredom set in. I can't help feeling that I
would rather be somewhere else doing other things. But, the feeling is not strong enough to act on yet.
And, I don't know what action I could take anyway. I am good at the things that I do. Moving to a
different job would require learning new things. Perhaps that is what the doctor ordered. Perhaps it is
time to move on to bigger and better things, or at least different things. Yet, what would I do? My
expertise is somewhat limited having worked a long time on the same program. It seems wasteful to lose
the advantage of that expertise. Yet, my system knowledge is fairly high level ... it does not go very
deep. That is partially due to the systems engineering focus. There must be a way to apply what I have
learned to my spiritual work. I know that no resources are wasted. We learn the things that we need to
learn to carry out our missions in accord with our destiny.

What would I do next? Where would I go? What changes would I make in my life? How do I find the
others with whom I am meant to work? This last questions presumes that there are others. I firmly
believe this to be the case. I also believe that when we will meet is somehow destined. It will happen
when it needs to happen. I can attempt to do things to accelerate this, but most of them will be for
naught. Spirit has a timing for things that is beyond our comprehension. It is best to allow things to
unfold naturally. What about creating our own reality? Yes, we can do that. But, when we do we are
responsible for what gets created. When we allow what spirit would create in our life, we are still
responsible but we have the force of spirit behind what we are experiencing. That makes all of the
difference in the world. But, isn't that fatalistic? Indeed it is ... but what is wrong with having a fate, with
having a destiny? The bottom line is nothing. In some ways our destiny is bigger than us. It is what we
came to this planet and this incarnation to do. It is who we came to be. Right now, this expression is
what I came to do. But, there is a sense that it is to grow into something more. The very way that I live
my life is to evolve into something greater and grander. At this point, I don't know what that will be.
However, I am excited by the prospects that lie ahead. It is as if my life is about to take off in a whole
new direction. I'm ready for this. And, it's about time. However, it cannot be rushed.

I'm open to whatever changes would come into my life. I'm open to being and expressing more of whom
that I am. As usual, I'll do that one step at a time ... doing what I am moved to do in each moment. That
is the only way I know to live my life. Planning doesn't seem to work for me. Then again, I haven't really
tried it for awhile. Perhaps things have changed and this is a tool that would work now. I already know
that spirit has a hand in this expression. She would also have a hand in any plans that I would develop.
When we resign ourselves actively to our destiny, the universe meets us and supplies to us all that is
needed to carry out our mission. We only have to believe that this is so ... and then follow through and
take the necessary action in line with this. Can it be that simple? Indeed, it can.

Is all of this wishful thinking? Is my dissatisfaction with what is coming forth? Is the happiness that is
missing showing? Yes, I admit, my life could be better. And, I desire to make it so. But, am I willing to
do what it takes to change it into something better? I believe that I am. But, the proof comes in what I
would do. What would I change and when? How would I express differently? How would I develop the
relationships that are so sorely lacking? This seems to be the major area in need of change. If I can fix
the relationships ... it seems everything else will fall into place naturally. But it takes at least two to work
on relationships. The desire to relate has to be there. The connection that forms a basis for the
relationship has to be there. For 45 years, I haven't been very good at connecting with people. Is that to
change? Or, is there a reason for it? We need to be careful not to turn that into an excuse. So, where do I
find the others that I am to related to? Are they searching for me as I am searching for them? Are we
destined to meet when the time is right? At this point, I don't get out a lot. The only places for me to
meet people are at work and via the internet. I've taken the first step with all that I've been moved to
share. But, is that enough? It is a lot. But, it seems that there is more that I can do. I haven't really

70
risked anything yet. I've invested a lot of my time and resources, but that is not the same as risking
something. How do I put what I believe on the line? How do I bet on myself in the game of life?

It seems that I have not really been living. Oh, I have been existing and getting by. And, I have been
expressing nearly endlessly. But, have I really been living? The sense is that if I had, I would have
experienced far more happiness in my life. That is OK, it is never too late to start. So, what can I do that
would make me happy? It seems that happiness is a state of consciousness that one chooses. But, is it not
also something that one pursues? Did not our founding fathers call the pursuit of happiness one of our
inalienable rights? It is interesting that they did not say achieving happiness was a right, only the pursuit
thereof. How does one pursue something that can be so illusive? It seems that we need to be
methodological in our pursuit. Either that, or we need to follow the path that spirit reveals to us. That is
still my preference, to allow spirit to call the shots and take me to where she will. At some point, that may
change. Perhaps even soon. But, until it does, I will continue to do as I am moved to do. Right now, that
means expressing here in this manner and sharing the expression with any who find it. I trust that this is
what I am meant to do. It feels right. This growing body of works is a testament to consciousness
expressing through me.

9 October 2003

Again we start with the familiar blank slate. But, it is on that slate that we have the freedom to express
whatever consciousness would express through us. I'm still amazed at the frequency and quantity of
expression. This is the 22nd month in a row of near daily expression. I have nothing to compare that to
in over 10 years of doing this. Further, there is no sense that it will end soon. Though, in December
2001, I had no idea that it was about to start either. The bottom line is to capture what can be expressed
while the capturing is good. We can worry about further processing the material when we have the free
time to do so. Right now, the raw musings are sufficient. They capture a stream of consciousness that
reveals a process of growth and increasing awareness. These are the footsteps or mindsteps that I leave
for those who choose to follow my path. Clearly, it is a path ... it is not the path. Follow it so long as it
interests you and so long as you are able to grow from the experience. You will know if you are growing.
It will be obvious. There are some things that are hidden from us. But, most of the important things are
right in front of us where they can readily be seen or be felt. Don't underestimate the importance of
feeling and of direct knowing. There will be things that you just know even though there is no logical
explanation as to how. Try to go with that knowingness when you can. It will definitely make your life
flow more smoothly.

Why is it that we write each day? For one thing, I am a writer ... and one becomes better at one's craft
through doing it as much as you can. Also, there is a stream of consciousness that seeks to be expressed,
and I am a channel for that expression. Yes, I'm an active channel, but I am a channel nonetheless. Even
after a decade, I still experience this expression as coming from an inner source that is not a part of me.
This source is my intuitive connection to consciousness, to spirit herself. Yes, herself. I still experience
this source as being feminine. I don't know why, that is just how she comes across. The connection is
magical. What comes forth from consciousness is amazing to behold. The expression constantly
challenges what I know myself to be and what I believe about reality and reality creation. This is a major
part of my reality. It is by far the greatest consumer of my free time. However, I would have it no other
way. This expression is that important to me. It is as important as the air that I breathe. It is the fire that
my spirit consumes in order to exist as it does. Spirit is express as the fire signs in astrology. I happen to
be a triple fire - Sun, Moon, and Rising signs. So, spirit is it for me. Not much else commands my
attention.

71
That is OK. Each of us have our parts and roles to play. Each will present its challenges and its rewards.
It is for us to seek and find those things that we are meant to do. This is well within our ability to do.
Further, the very universe is conspiring to ensure that we succeed in this. However, the universe responds
to the actions that we take. If we are silent, if we do nothing, the universe matches our efforts in kind.
The key is to actively pursue our dreams of who we can be and what we can do. Appreciate, but never be
satisfied with what is. There are always things that can be done to make it better. Don't just think about
what might be ... do something that helps to make it so. What, you ask? Whatever you are moved to do.
There is something within you that knows what part you are meant to play and it will naturally guide you
there if you allow it to. That means getting in touch with this inner source within you. However, to do
that you have to believe. But, that is what beliefs are for. They are meant to help isolate what we want in
our lives from what we do not want. This is not always an easy decision to make. As a result our
experiences are more challenging then necessary. But, at least this keeps them interesting. It is better that
they be interesting than that they be boring. Life is meant to be an exciting adventure. But, it is only such
if we expect it to be and we do what it takes to make it so. Many don't have the follow through to do
whatever it takes. However, that is what distinguishes those who succeed in manifesting what they desire
from those who don't. It is our actions that determine what we get in life. It is for us to make those
actions count for something. The greatest things that we can do are those things that serve not only
ourselves but serve others. It is service that matters. The more service the better. The universe ensures
that no service goes unrecognized or unrewarded.

How do we build cooperative interdependent organizations? How do we get people to work together
toward a common aim? Can we come up with a vision that people can rally behind and be willing to
commit to? We are asking for a voluntary commitment of time and energy ... and potentially resources. It
seems that we need to deliver something in return. But, we can't tell exactly what we will deliver until we
see what we are able to create. So, there is a risk. We might not succeed in our efforts the first time ... or
even the nth time. But if we persist, nothing can stop us. Success is guaranteed, for spirit herself is
working through us and she knows no failure ... not in the long run anyway. Cooperation requires at least
two working together. Actually that is not quite correct. This very expression is the result of me
cooperating with spirit. We co-operate, spirit and I ... we operate together to allow this stream of
consciousness to flow as it does.

What would I do differently? What would I change to further disseminate this material to the world? It
seems that it is not enough to post the material. That reaches some but nowhere near the numbers that I
believe we are meant to touch. So, what other avenues are available to spread the word ... or in this case
the millions of words? Do I really expect people to be interested in reading all of this? Yes, I am
interested because the material came through me and has special significance. But, can I expect others to
read the material as well? The sense is a resounding yes. I wouldn't have been moved to publish so much
of it if I didn't believe there was an audience that could be served by what is expressed. It is not for me to
know how these people will be served. I can't tell what passages will trigger altered states of
consciousness and changes in levels of awareness. But, I know that the material as a whole has the power
to do this. That makes it worth something. That makes it worth every minute and every dime that I have
invested in it. Return on investment is in vogue these days. In this case, there hasn't yet been a direct
return on investment. Though I have experienced states of awareness that are priceless. I am happy with
what I have experienced and expressed to date. And, I look forward to what will come in the years
ahead. Each year keeps getting better than the past ones. It will be interesting to see how long the roller
coaster ride lasts. There is a thrill in being able to express like this. Here is where I dance on the edge of
the unknown realms of consciousness. My bipolar condition helps in this regard. It makes it OK to
experience excursions of mental states that others don't seem to experience. Yes, this makes me a little bit
crazy. But, if this communication is an example of what can come from being crazy, then perhaps more
of us should give ourselves permission to be a little crazy. We need to be careful here. There is a fine
balance that we are keeping. Too far off the deep end and we drive ourselves to the mental hospital. I
72
know firsthand. I've been there twice ... initially when I was diagnosed as bipolar, and five years later
after months of stopping taking my medications. That last episode was over five years ago. Since then,
I've taken my meds daily. The current regimen is Eskalith, Depakote, and Zyprexa. Whether these are all
required and whether I need the present dosages ... I have no way of knowing. What I know is that I am
currently able to function in society and express here ... and that the side effects seem tolerable. That
doesn't mean that I am completely happy with my reality. However, I know that it is within my power to
change the things that I don't particularly like. I can create my reality to be what I would have it be.
Unfortunately, I don't have a clear picture of what I really want and I have this intense aversion to forcing
my desires on anyone. Yes, this limits what I can change. Perhaps it is too strict of a limitation to impose
on myself. However, I take the directive "Thy will not mine be done" very seriously. I would do as
spirit directs, not necessarily what I might want. Though, lately these tend to be the same thing.

Everything comes down to actions. What are we willing to do to effect change in our lives and in the
world? It is not enough to think something. Though thoughts do have their value and are powerful. We
must take action in accord with what we believe to effect the change that we desire to see. It also helps to
be the change that we desire and demonstrate firsthand the results of this change. A living example goes a
long way. It serves as a pattern that others can follow. We need our wayshowers in the world. They
allow us to see what we can be and what we can create. It doesn't have to be difficult. This is a very
natural process. The universe is conspiring to enable us to be all that we can be. We simply need to open
up and allow it to manifest. That means getting rid of beliefs about ourselves, reality, and the world that
are getting in the way and do not serve us. But, good riddance ... it is time for these to go anyway. What
are we holding onto? A limited version/vision of ourself does not serve us or our world. We can change
this. It is all a matter of presence of mind ... or presence of spirit. Consciousness is the key. Where we
allow our consciousness to take us ultimately determines what reality we will experience. Consciousness
is everything. Consciousness spawns all expression. She is the source of what you see here. But she is
also the source of what you experience hour by hour and day by day. Many are still asleep, however.
Though, that probably doesn't apply if you are reading this. My sense is that consciousness attracted you
here because there is something that you can get from this expression. You are one of those who can be
served by this stream of consciousness. I don't know exactly how or why. I only know that we bring into
our life those experiences that we need to learn and to grow so that we can express more of whom that we
are. I know this is how it works for me. And, I know enough to know that what works for me is likely to
work for others as well. No, it won't work for everyone. But, variations should work for most of those
drawn to this expression. You are part of a self-selected group. What difference this expression makes in
your life is up to you to determine.

10 October 2003

What would we express today? We never really know in advance. The expression just comes forth. We
allow it to be whatever it would be ... trusting that spirit knows what is right and would not lead us astray.
Today marks the ten year anniversary of the conclusion of my first vacation to the mental hospital. It was
a ten day vacation that concluded a period of nearly six weeks of fire on the brain. Actually, even with
the medications I was still flying quite high in the following months as years, so much so that additional
medications were added from time to time. I don't know that I've ever been normal. And, it is clear that I
never will be such. But that doesn't really matter. I've taken pride in being different. I wear it as a badge
of distinction. This is not your average communication that you see here. It is a stream of consciousness
expression. That is not something that we are used to seeing. Many would fear that they would simply
babble on. And, perhaps that is exactly what I'm doing. Then again, I have the sense that this
communication is worth something and that it can help people somehow. That is my hope and my dream
anyway. Being of service to the world is extremely important to me. My life must make a meaningful

73
difference. It must contribute to the betterment of society in some way. This is true to some degree for all
of us ... but clearly for some more than others. The bottom line is to do what feels right for you. You will
know what this is. It will call to your soul. And, when you are doing it, it will animate you as nothing
else does.

10/10 ... that links to Reality Creation 1010. And then a tenth anniversary to boot. My, we are full of 10's
today. 10 is the Wheel of Fortune in the Tarot. I haven't really related much to it. Oh well. Perhaps at
another time in another place. Hmm ... speaking of places, we have been here nearly 7 years. That is as
long as I've ever lived anywhere. We lived in Monterey for close to 7 years just prior to this. In some
ways, it seems like it is time for a change. Though, at the same time where we are at is comfortable. We
have a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Oh, the house could be grander. But, it was quite a bargain for
what we got. Overall, things don't matter to me a whole lot. But then, neither do individual people. Yet I
dream of doing things to help society as a whole. I dream of building the foundations for a new world.
How many people dream such a grand dream? And, how many people are willing to give their life to
fulfill that dream? My sense is that they are few and far between. But somehow we must come together
to jointly create what none of us can manifest alone. We know this. And we seek the time when we will
find and join our brethren in this great cause. My hope is that will be soon. But, I have nothing tangible
on which to base that. We can always hope. We can always dream. The journey to a better tomorrow
starts with the step we take here and now. That these steps are individual steps is OK for the moment.
Soon they will be the steps of the masses. And then, the world will change in ways beyond imagination.
There is a reason that this expression falls under that umbrella. What consciousness is expressing here ...
and what will result from people being exposed to this expression will indeed be beyond imagination.
How can I know that? It is just obvious to me. It doesn't matter that I have yet to see this impact.
Actually that is not quite correct. I've seen it in myself. I just haven't seen it in others yet. I'm not aware
of who has really been exposed to this expression. There are a handful of people that have e-mailed me a
few times. But overall, whatever audience this reaches is silent. Will that change some day? I would
hope so. If I am to do what I came to do, I have to find a way to connect to like-minded others. Right
now, I believe this to be in the cards. However, I do not yet know when. Until then, I do what I am
moved to do. I do what I can on my own, though spirit guides my every step. That doesn't mean that I
won't stumble and even fall on occasion. When one operates in the realms of the unknowns of
consciousness such things can happen. However, we can always pick ourselves up and continue on. We
learn from our stumbles and our falls and we move on to ever greater expressions of spirit.

We are spirit incarnate. It is useful to remember that and to act appropriately. There is so much that we
can do. There are so many areas where improvements are needed. All it takes is resources and talent. We
have the right resources with the right talents. We're just not applying them to the tasks that need to be
done. Part of the problem is that as a society we don't really have control of the resources. We allow the
free market to determine where people will spend the bulk of their working time. While our economy is
envied by most of the world, it is clearly not the best that it can be. For one thing, there are far too many
people that are not served by it. We have the hungry and the homeless, we have the untreated mentally
ill. We have far too many people living below the poverty line. All of that equates to needless suffering.
There has to be a better way. Part of the problem is that there is no one or no group responsible for
ensuring that these things do not happen. We haven't taken it on ourselves to be responsible for one
another. We haven't established a contract between the collective and individuals that explicitly spells out
who is responsible for what. Until we do this, there will be such people that fall through the cracks of our
economic system. Is that fair? My sense is that no, it is not fair. And, I desire to do something about it.
Doing something starts with raising the awareness so that people know that there is a problem. It also
helps if we have some kind of solution to propose. Mine has been expressed here many times. We
establish a social contract between society as a whole and its constituent individuals.

74
From each in accord with their abilities,
to each in accord with their needs.

It is that simple. Many won't like the fact that it is one of the key tenets of communism. However, it has
never been achieved. If it had, we wouldn't see communist economies crumble as we have. Accepting
and abiding by this contract is a quantum shift for those of us who have enjoyed the benefits that free
enterprise has offered us. Taking responsibility for ourselves is a major step. Extended this to assume
responsibility for others as well is a giant leap. But, it is a leap that we need to take. It demands the very
best of us.

11 October 2003

Another busy day. But not too busy to keep me from coming here to express. There is not much that can
do that, as evidenced by the 90 percent musing rate for the year. Though that means I am missing one day
out of every ten. That will mean approximately 330 musings for the year if this continues. At this time,
we have no reason to believe that it won't. That will make this year even more productive than last. We
have much to show for it. In 2002, we had one Best Passages book. For 2003, we will have three books
of roughly the same size. The volume of musings were about the same. We were just moved to share
them in a different way. For 2002, we selected the best of what was expressed. For 2003, we elected to
publish nearly all of what was expressed. As a result, the books serve different purposes. Best Passages
was meant to serve as a flagship. Because of this, we wanted it to include only our best. The 2003
Musings are meant to illustrate the quality and quantity of material that comes forth in one year. At this
point I would estimate that that is going to come to 3 books of 600 pages each with 100 pages of best
quotes included. That is a lot of material. But spirit is pretty prolific in expressing through me. She fills
every moment that I make available to her. Spirit, consciousness, they are one and the same to me.

This is a stream of consciousness expression. As such, it is freeform. It resists any attempt to plan what
will be expressed. That is OK. There is something wonderful about spontaneous spiritual expression. It
gives us hope that we can be much more than we ever believed possible. That is true because when we
are supported by spirit, we can do far more than we can do alone. In many ways, this is because we are
not doing it ... it is spirit doing these things through us. We are engaged in the dance of consciousness.
And, what an elaborate dance it is. Yet, it is one that we know innately. It is not so much something we
have to learn, rather something that we have to allow happen in our lives. That doesn't mean that it will
all be easy. It can be, but it can also be hard work. It is really up to us as to how we will experience it. It
helps to be open, allowing and accepting. But, it seems not everyone follows such a path. I know, my
particular path is unique. I have encountered others on similar paths but no one on the same path yet.
Perhaps that is too much to expect. Perhaps my particular path will always be unique. Then, why am I so
moved to share it? Why is all of this captured? There would be no reason to capture it if it were not to be
shared somehow. Now, we share it electronically at the Beyond Imagination website and physically in the
form of published books. Yet, that does not seem to be enough. It seems that we need to find a way to
share ourself as well, as the living vessel through whom this expression comes. That makes me a special
being. It seems that few come forth to express in this way. But, what is this expression. I don't consider
myself psychic. These musings do not offer specific advice to specific people. What they do capture is a
stream of consciousness. In reading this material, you get to ride the stream for awhile. My hope is that
you find it to be an adventure in consciousness. It should trigger you to enter into new states of
consciousness of your own. It may not do this immediately. But as you follow the stream, it is as if your
mental muscles are being stretched so that you can experience and express more of whom that you are.
How do I know that the material does this? I only know that it does that for me and I'm the one through
whom it came to begin with. I'm curious as to how others will react to this. Until they relate what it does
for them, I will not really know.

75
Why am I moved to share this expression in the way that I do? Why is one who effectively exists as a
hermit moved to share so much of himself? My only response is because I have something important to
share. Or, more correctly, consciousness has something important to share through me. What could be so
important that it is worth expending this much of my life on? Then again, what else would I do with my
life anyway? This expression is the one thing that I believe will remain long after I am gone. I can hope
that will be the case anyway. Though it seems that I will need some sort of organization to be responsible
for keeping the information alive and available to those meant to be moved by it. But, that is still in the
distant future. My sense is that I have another quarter of a century to live in this incarnation. There is a
lot of work that can be done in that amount of time. That's OK. I've never been one to shy away from
work, especially spiritual work. I am more than willing to do my fair share, and I know that there is a
graduated scale. To whom much is given, much is expected. And, I have been given a whole lot of
talents and abilities. In what areas have I achieved mastership? One area is making the inner connection
necessary for this expression to manifest. Then again, given how much practice I've had in the past ten
years, this should not be a surprise. What else am I good at? I can see things holistically ... see how the
parts fit together to form a whole and see the synergy that results. Much of this has been fortified by my
systems engineering work. It allows me to train my mind to think in ways that most people don't think
in. What would I do with what I know? I would share it with the world. I would apply it toward building
the foundations for a new world. Big goals ... big dreams. But, everything that I know says that they are
achievable. If you are going to dream, you might as well dream big. Who knows, you just may achieve
what you set out to do. It is amazing how the universe works. When we declare our intentions with all of
our heart and soul, an army of helpers comes to our aid.

What would we create next? Obviously, we are still musing. And, we are working on Beyond
Mind and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers. But, what else would we do? Nothing so far deals with
interacting with people. Is this not the key thing missing from my life? Or, is it simply that such is not
meant to be an active part of my life? That is an interesting question. Are relationships missing or are
they simply not meant to be for me? My hope is that the former is true. I long to have others to interact
with, to bounce ideas off of, to work together on joint endeavors, and just to be friends. I haven't had
many friends to date. Actually, I would be hard pressed to identify any. But, I have a pretty stringent
definition of friendship. I expect a lot, but I am willing to give a lot. That should be obvious from what is
expressed here. Though, this is only an example of the kinds of things that I would expect friends to
share. Do I really expect anyone to keep up with all of this? Yes, I do. Fortunately, reading the
expression is a lot faster process than generating it. The generation continues to occur at the rate of about
one 8.5 x 11 page per hour. I try to express three hours per day but not all of that goes into musings. At
this point in time, I believe this is sufficient. Especially since it is a voluntary endeavor that I do on my
own with spirits assistance. I don't know what I would do if the stream of consciousness would become
silent. It is one thing for my mind to be silent. In fact, it is often silent. It has been this way since the
awakenings began in 1993. It is as if my mind had to become blank for spirit to be able to come through.
It is interesting that I start each day's musing with a blank page. OK, a nearly blank page, the beginning
and the ending are inherited and are the same from day to day with the exception of the date. All of the
content is deleted, however and I start from scratch expressing what consciousness would have me
express. I trust that consciousness is organizing what is coming forth. And, from what I can tell it is not
repetitive. I don't really have an explanation for how this can happen. Since I'm not consciously
organizing it, it is out of my hands and my awareness. How long can this continue? How long can we go
on expressing in this manner? I don't really know. It does not appear that we've come close to reaching
any limits of consciousness. It seems that so long as we volunteer to come here ... she joins us and
expresses. How do I know this is not me expressing? It could very well be a part of me. But, whether it
is or not, I am not consciously aware of being the originator of all of this. I see it expressed through my
fingers and appear on the screen of my computer, but simply because it comes through me doesn't mean
that I originate it. It all depends on how you consider source. If source is indeed a part of me, then I do
create this, albeit not in a manner that I am consciously aware of. However, if source is a connection to
76
something greater than me ... then this does indeed come from something external to me. Even with ten
years of expression, I do not know which of these alternatives is correct. Neither does it matter.
Regardless, the expression comes forth. What matters is its utility. Who does it serve and how does it
serve them? This is one question that we should ask often. For all the work we do, this question applies.
If it doesn't serve anyone, then why are we doing it? If it doesn't serve anyone, we are wasting our time.
In evaluating our endeavors, we need to make sure that we consider all those who are impacted.
Sometimes it is not obvious who benefits from something. However, if we think about it and give our
intuition voice, we will see who is served and who is not served. There is also the potential that some
might be harmed by what we do. We need to tread very lightly in such areas and try to mitigate the harm
as much as we can.

Life is the expression of consciousness to me. If I am not expressing, I am not truly living. However,
there are many ways to express. Mine just happens to be writing. And, do I write. But what good is the
written word without an audience to read it? And, where do I find such an audience. There is a sense that
this is destined somehow. Those who are meant to encounter this expression will find it somehow. Yes, I
need to do what I can to facilitate that. But, there is only so much that I can do. At some point, the
universe needs to kick in and help. Have I reached that point? Have I done what I can do? There is still a
sense that while I've done a lot, I am just getting started.

12 October 2003

We're getting a late start tonight, so this will be a shorter than normal musing. Then again, who knows, I
could get carried away and write long into the night. At this point I doubt that however. The need to arise
for work in the morning demands that I get to sleep at a decent hour. But I did rest for a couple of hours
earlier today. I was able to swim all three days this weekend. I typically don't go in unless the water
temperature is above 85, and preferably closer to 88. The solar system is able to keep it that warm from
May to October ... nearly six months. I love the water. Swimming laps is much more fun than any other
exercise that I've encountered. And, it is time to start eating better and doing more exercise. That takes
away from my time here. But, it may relieve some of the tiredness that I've been feeling.

What would we express tonight? As usual, I don't really know. I come here because I am moved to come
here. I know that if I come, consciousness will join me and we will express something. Sometimes it is
grand. Sometimes it is more ordinary. But always the expression comes forth. What makes me feel that
this expression is worthy of being shared and is worthy of being published? I don't know. I just do what I
am moved to do. Right now, that is to allow this stream of consciousness to come forth and to do what I
can to get it in the hands of those it may be able to help. But, who can it help and how? It can help those
who are in the midst of expanding their consciousness. It does this by providing an example of
consciousness in expression. Will this example be the same as how you might express? Probably not.
However, it should trigger you to enter altered states of your own. That is my hope anyway. That is what
makes it worthwhile. Knowing that all of this has come forth through me gives me a great sense of
accomplishment. We need to live our lives in such a manner that if we were to depart on any given day,
there would be a sense of completeness about our life to that point. With this expression I have that. I
have something tangible that is proof that I existed, created something, and hopefully contributed to
society and the world. That does not mean I am planning to depart anytime soon. My latest estimate is
that I'll be around through 2024-2028 or so. That is so far in the distance that it means little at this point
other than the fact that I have roughly 2.5 times the length of the current expression to finish out my life.
If I continue to express as I have, that should easily put me past the 10 million word mark. That is a lot to
express in a lifetime. Do we need that much volume? Or, should we step back and focus on quality of
expression. Actually, I believe both are there in our current works.

77
Consciousness is illusive. She comes and goes as she will. She will not be bound or restricted. At least,
such is how she expresses in my life. I don't interact with others enough to know whether their
experience is similar or not. Nor does it really matter. Each of us experience exactly what we need to
experience. Sometimes this is like what others experience. But, it is perfectly OK if it is not. We are
allowed our unique experiences. It would be very boring if we were all the same. Life is about varieties
of experience. Human life is primarily differentiated by consciousness. We are aware of being alive.
Some of us are aware of being aware ... though this seems to take an awakening. Not everyone
experiences being the observer in their life. That is one of the benefits of this expression. The challenge
for the reader is to realize who could have expressed all of this? What does it say about the nature of
consciousness that all of this was expressed in the manner that it was? What does it say about me that I
was moved to allow all of this to come forth? The expression exists. There is no denying that. You may
have your own theories about how it originated. I've told you mine. It comes from a source inside of
me. I type whatever it says in my head. I don't hear a voice per se. But the words just appear in my
mind. How is this possible? That is a mystery. And, perhaps it will always be a mystery. There is
nothing wrong with that. Life itself is a mystery ... it is meant to have mysteries. That is part of its
attraction. We live in a miraculous realm, we truly do. It is important for us to see that ... really see that.
Otherwise, we miss out on some of the most special moments and experiences in life.

This expression is by far the most important part of my life. In some respects, that is a sad state of
affairs. It suggests that I am not fully living my life. Clearly, I am not engaged sufficiently with others to
create meaningful and rewarding relationships. However, maybe ... just maybe ... this is what I am meant
to be doing with my life. I might be able to buy that if I were experiencing more happiness in my life.
But, while I am productive, both at work and in my spiritual endeavors ... I would not say that I am happy
much of the time. What would it take to Be Happy? The is a popular song that addresses this ... it talks
about not having the things that you want, but rather wanting the things that you have. That is a profound
distinction. It is interesting that it would be part of a popular song. Yet, how many people that hear this
song have really heard and contemplated this particular point? However, even if people are not
consciously aware, they are subconsciously aware. These words have entered into the mass
consciousness.

13 October 2003

We did make our suggested minimum quota of words for yesterday, though not by much. Let's see if we
can fare better today. I was going to say it’s all in spirits hands. But, that is not quite correct. I have to be
available and choose to expend the time and effort that allows this expression to manifest. If I only have
an hour and a half to give, I'm only going to make the 1000 word mark. I need two and a half to three
hours to make it to 2000 words. That is a major investment to give to doing anything ... especially when
it is a daily investment seven days of the week. However, that is what I am moved to do. This expression
is that important to me. And, it seems, that important to consciousness. I would not be moved so strongly
to do this if there were not something larger at stake. This endeavor is important. It is important to me
and it is important to consciousness. What will happen as a result of it remains to be seen. I know that
people are visiting the Beyond Imagination site. I would hope that means that they are being exposed to
the Beyond Imagination material and that they find it of value in some way. I can't tell how much
information from the site is being accessed or how it is impacting anyone. Here, I need feedback. If you
are accessing the site and finding it of value ... please let me know. Also, if there are any suggested
improvements in how the site is organized or the material therein, please let me know that as well. I don't
know if I'll be able to fix things, but I'm open to trying. This site is meant to serve you. If it is not doing
that, I want to know. One way or another, please make the effort to provide feedback.

78
This site is also meant to serve me. I need a regular outlet wherein I can express all that is bottled up
inside of me. This expression serves as that outlet. Here I am free to express whatever consciousness
would express through me. And, that is a lot. But, that is not enough. It seems that I need a role on the
stage of the world as well. I have a role to play, a mission to perform. I will not let anyone or anything
get in the way of doing what I came to this planet to do. That includes myself. Hmm ... that was an
interesting addition. But, it is true. Sometimes the toughest obstacle that we have to face is our own self
and its beliefs. There is a sense that I am a device with limited storage ability. When I open the channel
and allow the information to flow forth, it does so. But when I am not writing it is as if the dam is
blocked and I am unable to express. I write often, but I rarely speak. This is partially because I am not in
the presence of others very much. However, that seems to be no more than an excuse. If I truly desired
for this to change, it would change. The very fact that it is not changing suggests that I do not really want
it to, or do not believe that it can change. For things to happen in our life, we have to believe that they are
possible and we have to believe that we are deserving of them. This later point is extremely important.
We will not allow ourselves to receive anything more than we believe that we are worth. This is one of
the fundamental spiritual laws of economics. We really need to believe that we deserve what we want.
Further, that deserving needs to be based on something solid ... some service that we are providing that is
worth more than what we desire. There needs to be a positive exchange of energy here. We need to be
giving more than we receive. We do that by being all that we can be and doing what we are moved by
spirit to do.

What more can I say? It seems that there is a lot. At what point will I start repeating myself and become
redundant? Perhaps at any time, but perhaps never. Consciousness seems to be unlimited in this area. So
long as she is willing to come through in this manner, I feel it is my duty to give her a voice through
which to speak. Yes, it is an active voice. Yes, I am an inseparable part of the process. However, that
doesn't mean that I can claim this expression as my own ... at least not wholly my own. Yet, at the same
time it does not belong to anyone else that is physically incarnate. Hmm ... I guess that really does make
it mine after all. We have no means of assigning ownership to spirit herself. It is through us that spirit
expresses and experiences life in physical form. She has no need for the possessions of this world. But,
there is nothing wrong with us reaching any particular level of abundance that we choose. We need to be
careful though. It seems that to those that have, more shall be given. There is a phrase to this effect in the
Bible if memory serves me. The meaning was veiled until a moment ago. I realized that along with
having must come the appreciation of what we have. Unless we are grateful for it, we don't really have
it. That is, it doesn't hold a place in our hearts. Gratitude is a very important attitude. It is important that
we realize this and apply it ... thanking spirit regularly for all that we have in our lives, and even for the
gift of being alive. Yes, life is a very precious gift. It is not something to be squandered. It is the gift that
needs to keep on giving in order to stay alive and to manifest abundantly.

Beyond Imagination has work to do. Right now, I am still the only resource committed to doing that
work. I must do it because I believe it to be my spiritual mission. At this point, it is still not clear as to
the degree that others will be involved. I would hope that this would be extensive at least for some
others. But, I won't know for sure until it happens. It is not clear how I will find them, or even if they
exist. Then again, perhaps destiny will have them find me. I am leaving the appropriate markers and
making attempts to reach out. Perhaps these are not of such a nature as someone more outgoing might
attempt, but we do what we can. I must be true to whom that I AM. At the same time I need to be careful
not to accept limitations that are not rightly mine. All limitations are self-imposed. It is for us to choose
the limitations that we are willing to live with. We can always choose to overcome these and become
more free at any time. However, this requires awareness. If we are not aware that we are imprisoned and
enchained, we have no sense that we need to work to remove the shackles that bind us. Yet, all of us have
our shackles ... some more than others. Most are content with living within them. In fact, many bear
them gladly, unaware that they are shackles at all. However, being unaware doesn't change the nature of
what is. It does, however, change our experience. And, it is our experience that ultimately counts.
79
Hmm ... do organizations experience reality in a similar fashion? Are they bound by shackles as well? Is
there anything that we can do individually or collectively to free them? This is an interesting line of
questioning. My sense is that there are indeed things that we can do. We have the power to create far
more potent organizations that we have created to date. It takes work however. It does not simply
happen. The very nature of organizations is that they involve groups of people. It will be interesting to
see what organizations I choose to become a part of. I have not been much of a joiner in my life to date.
Even in the few cases where I have joined organizations it was as an isolated individual. In most cases, I
never met more than a handful of the members in the group. In some cases, I never met anyone
associated with the organization. Yes, I have lived a pretty isolated existence. However, that has allowed
me to develop in the way that I have. That has given me a different perspective on life than most people
have. That has enabled me to breakthrough to new levels of awareness, some of which allow this very
expression to come forth. I spent the first 35 years of my life in near silence. From age 15 on, I have
been a major metaphysical information consumer. At 35, something switched inside of me and I became
a metaphysical information generator. At 43-44, something switched again and I started musing nearly
daily. It is curious that started on 1 January 2002. It was definitely unexpected. But, of all days ... to start
on the first day of a year was particularly interesting. It definitely makes it seem like the timing was
planned. I'm sure that it was, it just wasn't me doing the planning. And here we are midway through the
22nd month already. It will be interesting to see how long this continues. I have no prior experience that
helps to answer this. It will continue so long as it continues. We won't know how long that is until it
stops ... assuming that it will ever stop. This could very well be a phase of my life that lasts for the rest of
my life. Though, there is a sense that the expression will evolve as time goes on. Exactly how this will
evolve will unfold over time. I can live with that. I can wait and see.

What matters in the moment is what we do here and now. Ultimately, the moment is where we have
power. It is the only place where we can do anything. And, it is in the doing of things that we effect
change in the world. This is the only place where we can make a difference. Our life is meant to make a
difference. But, it will only do so if we make it do so. That means we have to be more than a spectator.
We have to do things. We have to share of whom that we are. My way of doing this is primarily via this
expression. But I am open for this to change. I am open to interacting with others to achieve common
goals and objectives. I don't know how I'm going to find these others ... but if it is meant to be it will be.
Yes, I am resigned to the idea that I have a fate that I cannot escape. Not that I would want to even if I
could. From what I have experienced, I am grateful for what spirit has in store for me. Yes, I could be
more happy. However, there is something about being dissatisfied that pushes you to look for more. I
relate strongly to the 48:Eight of Cups card in the Tarot. This is the Man in Search of More. No matter
how far I go, no matter what I find, no matter what I experience, no matter what I become, I always know
that there is more. There is always a feeling that I am incomplete somehow ... and that I will always be so
while I am incarnate. What it takes to complete me is not of this world. How can I know this? It is just
obvious to me. That doesn't mean that I don't have my moments of oneness with all that is. It would be
nice if these were more frequent. Perhaps they will be in time. However, it seems that I need something
to help motivate me to apply myself to do more and to be all that I can be.

14 October 2003

Once again we return to the blank slate to write what would be written today. There is something special
about being able to do this, about knowing that consciousness is there to come forth to fill the pages as
she will. We've had a lot of practice doing this over the past ten and a half years. Though, in other ways,
it seems that we are only beginning. There is so much that can be expressed. However, time is a limiting
factor. We can only generate so many words per hour. This has remained fairly constant since the
expression began. One might think that this would improve over time, but I have not experienced this.

80
The generation rate has remained at roughly one 8.5 x 11 page per hour. That's approximately 700 words
per hour or 12 words per minute. That is not a fast typing rate. Nor is it a fast speaking rate. But it is a
comfortable rate for expression. Interesting. I haven't thought about it like this before. I can probably
type at two to three times this speed. However, there is a limiting factor that is coming into play that is
my conscious ability to receive this stream of consciousness expression. That is OK. It is what it is.
And, there doesn't seem to be anyone out there voraciously consuming the millions of words that have
already been generated. Perhaps this will occur someday, perhaps it will not. Either way, I have
accomplished what I was moved to do. That is ultimately what matters. We are to be the instruments
through which spirit expresses. What happens after that is in spirits hands. That doesn't mean that we
don't have to do our parts. But, we can trust that we will be moved to do these when the time is right.
Everything in our lives is the expression of spirit in flesh. There is nothing else to express. Though,
many people may not consider what they do "spiritual". However, it is all "spiritual" ... there is nothing
else that can express.

We are still moved to come here to express, as if by a force that we cannot resist. However, this is a
choice ... this is a force that we choose not to resist. I am in command and responsible for all that I do ...
and further for things that I could have done but did not do. Yes, this is a greater sense of responsibility
than many are willing to accept. However, responsibility can be a very good thing. It can give us power
in that area of our lives ... in some cases, great power. By having responsibility, we control what gets
done in that area. That is a major plus. However, the cost of doing this is that we must give up blaming
others, society, or circumstances for whatever we are experiencing. Being responsible means that the
buck stops here as the saying goes. Any blame gets levied on ourselves. Though any credit gets levied
there as well. We are responsible for all that we experience. We choose it all. No fine print, no
exceptions.

What would I create in the world? What do I choose to experience? How would I change what is
expressed through me? These are all important questions. I would create the foundations for a new
world. But what does that mean in practical terms? How are such foundations manifest? It seems that
someone has to have the foresight to dream of what could be and then take practical steps to express this
and to manifest it. As to choosing to experience ... obviously I am comfortable with my life. Though the
isolation and the remoteness remains difficult to take. I desire to share whom that I am much more than I
have. How could I share more than I share here? It seems that it is not a matter of more, rather it is a
matter of with whom. Right now, this seems up to the universe to determine. My attempts to select who
this might be have been dismal failures. However, past results are no indication of future performance.
Perhaps it is time to try again. It could simply have been a matter of poor timing. I do what I am moved
to do. Spirit is an active force, a guiding force in my life. I would have it no other way. How is it that
I'm so fortunate as to have spirit express through me in this way? It just seems to be in the cards for me in
this existence. When I am expressing like this, I know that I am living up to my potential, I am doing the
very things that I am meant to do. These are the things for which I incarnated this time around. How can
I know that? Knowing is not something that is to be questioned. Some things you just know. It is not
important how it happens, only that it happens. However, we need to be careful to distinguish what we
know from what we believe from what we think. These are very different levels of operating. We can
think a lot of things that we don't really believe and we can believe a lot of things that we don't really
know. Further, if we truly know something, there is no room for belief ... it is already truth for us. That
doesn't mean that we can't be confused and believe that we know things that are not true. In fact, if we are
honest, we will find that much of our lives are lived in such a state. There is much that is unknown, and
even unknowable. Some people are good at ignoring this. They are perfectly happy living their lives
within set bounds. However, those of us that are explorers of consciousness do not have this luxury. We
have decided that it is our place to venture into the unknown realms and then come back to share of what
we find. To a large degree, that is what I do here. What purpose does it serve? The same purpose that all
exploration has. Whether it is territory, or ideas, or realms of consciousness ... the unknown always offers
81
its riches. It is but for us to find practical ways to use what we find. This too is a matter of searching.
But, we will find what we seek provided we are sincere in our seeking.

I would live a life of spirit. I would do as spirit moves me to do. I would express as spirit moves me to
express. I would be as spirit moves me to be. That's a lot of faith to place in spirit. But, where else
would I place such faith? Spirit has been the one constant that I could count on throughout my life,
especially from age 16 on, and particularly since age 35 (1993). How can I account for this? I don't need
to. The fact that I have experienced it is sufficient. It is not important that I be able to explain it ... only
that I accept it for what it is. Awareness, allowance, and acceptance are very important in life. Some
people exhibit various combinations of these to some degree, but few have them all to a high degree.
That is the goal. That is the state that we are attempting to achieve ... high awareness, high allowance,
and high acceptance. The middle one, high allowance, is one of the hardest to achieve. We need to allow
people to be whom that they are ... whatever that is. It helps if we believe that in general, people are
doing the best that they can given their abilities and the circumstances that they find themselves within.
In general, people want to do good. They want to do the right things. They just may not know what this
is at times. To some degree, we are all living lives of spirit. We are all spiritual beings at heart in the
midst of a physical experience. However, too many focus on being physical and lose sight of their
ultimate nature. This can be corrected ... but it takes a collective awakening. It is not clear that we've
really had one of these yet, though the Renaissance came very close. We need something that allows the
spirit within each of us to be ignited and to shine more brightly. We need to be careful not to burn people
out in the process, however. There is a very real risk of this.

It still amazes me that all of this could come through as it does. What does it say about consciousness that
the material flows as it does? What does it say about the other than conscious organizational abilities
within us? If I can do this day in and day out ... what can you do with your life? What can you do to
express whom that you are and to allow spirit to express through you? No, it may not be through writing
as I do here. But, there is something creative that you can do that can serve or benefit others. It is up to
you to find out what that is and do it. Do it so long as you are moved to do it. Do it because it allows you
to express whom that you are as nothing else does. Do it because it brings you fulfillment and happiness.
Just do it! Trust that if you are open and listen to the communication from the source within, it will
guide you and move you to carry out the mission that is yours to do. Each of us has such a mission.
Some it seems have many such missions. However, whatever yours is is right for you. You selected it
after all. And, you created the specific form that you are as the particular vessel through which to
accomplish your mission(s). No, you didn't necessarily make it easy. Usually, it involves challenges of
various types. But, it seems that some have it much easier than others. We need challenges to temper us
and allow us to find out what we are really made of. However, too much is too much. And, it seems that
collectively we have allowed things to become too much for a sizeable number of individuals.

15 October 2003

Namaste! It is difficult to decide where to begin. I got involved in metaphysics with the philosophy of
Plato, Pirzig's book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, a book on Transcendental Meditation
and the Art of Being by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and the Seth Books by Jane Roberts all during the my
16th year. That was 30 years ago ... and it has been a love affair ever since. This study has commanded
my attention and much of my free time since then. 10 years ago, I experienced a breakpoint, a major shift
in awareness and started generating metaphysical information rather than only consume it. Since 1
January 2002, I have been expressing nearly daily for two to three hours per day. What can I say? I am
compelled to express, and I choose to allow the stream of consciousness to come forth in whatever
manner it will.

82
What is metaphysics? To me it is the study of the nature of consciousness, the nature of being, the nature
of reality, the nature of spirit, and how all of these manifest in our lives. These are very big things.
However, they are things that each of us experience each day ... even though most people don't really
think about them. We typically leave such topics to our philosophers to contemplate. But that is not
necessary or even desirable. These things have real meaning in our day to day lives. Understanding them
can help us lead better lives and find our place in the larger scheme of things.

The one thing that most characterizes consciousness is awareness. What are we aware of ourselves to
be? There is an observer part to our consciousness that watches everything that we do. It doesn't
necessarily judge. It simply observes. Since my shift in awareness in 1993, I have been aware of this
observer part of myself during most of my waking hours. Even as I type this, I am aware of watching my
fingers on the keyboard at the same time I'm observing the screen at the same time I'm observing the
frame of my glasses and the things that are both within and outside of that frame. I'm also aware of the
working of my mind as it accepts and formulates these words. The source is somewhere deep inside me.
It is an intuitive source that is somehow connected to spirit or the one consciousness. I believe that
everyone is connected to and part of this same one consciousness.

Know Thyself! This is one of the key directives I've followed for over 2/3rds of my 45 years. I believe
I've been successful in this pursuit. However, much of the success comes from being open to new things
and being willing to try them and judge them based on their utility. I've used a variety of techniques in
this pursuit ... astrology, aura readings, enneagrams, IQ tests, numerology, psychic readings, tarot to name
a few. Of these, most were helpful in confirming things that I already knew about myself. But the
confirmation was helpful in its own right. Numerology and the tarot have been most useful in revealing
spiritual meaning in the ordinary symbol systems of the world. Astrology has been useful in revealing the
timing for major spiritual events.

I generated the above as an introduction to a talk on Metaphysics and Wayne's World that I am going to
give to members of the Human Development Club at work. Not wanting to lose anything, I thought I'd
capture it here as well since it is basically the same stream of consciousness in expression, just for a
slightly different purpose. Besides, it addresses a few things that we haven't talked about for some time. I
really was hit by metaphysics on at least four fronts at the same time in my 16th year. And, it was
definitely as if fireworks were going off in my brain. What I was reading made sense, at least
intellectually ... and I was living primarily in my mind at that time. Actually from that time until close to
my 35th birthday when the Beyond Mind experiences began and Beyond Imagination was given birth.
From that point on, I was a spiritual being in expression using my mind as a tool for doing my work. It no
longer mattered much what my mind thought. What became important was consciousness and my
spiritual awareness. These have remained of primary importance to this very day ... and they will
probably always be so. That is to be expected, at least for me. My very nature is spiritual. It is revealed
in my aura, my numbers, my astrological charts, and my abilities, interests, and talents. Everything is
focused on doing what I can do to help build the foundations that allow spirit to express more fully in
flesh. That is a big job. I know that. But, someone or some group has to do it. For one reason or
another, I have accepted it as my task to do. I have known for a long time that I came into this existence
to perform a particular mission ... and that when this is done, my life will be over and I will move on the
the next adventure in consciousness. I think it was Richard Bach in Illusions that said some to the effect:

Here's the test for knowing


if your life mission is accomplished.

If you are still alive, it isn't.

83
That is quite appropriate. That is the only way to know when we have done enough. However, we all
have different missions in life. These are not to be compared to one another. There is no greater and no
lesser. There is only what you personally came to do, both individually and in the context of society. We
execute this most effectively when we learn to connect with the spirit within us and choose to do what she
moves us to do. This doesn't happen automatically ... at least not for the vast majority. It takes self-work
to establish the inner connection. And then it takes courage to be all that we can be while executing what
spirit would more us to do. Yes, it takes courage to live a life of spirit. Perhaps that is part of the reason I
call this particular expression the Musings of a Spiritual Warrior. Yet, it seems that our major battle is
with the self and its ways of perceiving the world. It is not clear that this battle ever ends. It is the
constant challenge of being an aware spiritual being. It is difficult keeping the ego in check through all of
this. There is a natural tendency towards grandiosity. For me, my bipolar condition is responsible for
some of this. But, at some level, I chose this very condition and the mental states that it brings. I don't
really know how this relates to others. Though, I sense that there is some utility in sharing of myself in
this way ... if only to provide an example of what can be. In this case, it happens to be a verbose example
with several millions of words expressed.

So, what am I moved to do next? I'm still here, engaged in this expression. But, I long for more
interaction and sharing on a deeper level. What can I do to facilitate this? The basic answer is the same:
to be all that I can be and to do what I am moved to do. At least we're consistent. Though consistency is
not necessarily a positive thing. I still live very much in the moment. The more we do this, the more
power we can exert ... because the moment is the only place that we can take action, and it is action that
creates change. It is action that makes a difference in our lives. It is service that makes a difference in
our world. Ultimately, making a positive difference is what really matters. The bigger the difference the
better. The world should be a better place for our having lived. But, it will only be so if we do what it
takes to make it so. We have to want to make a difference. We have to believe that we can make a
difference. And, we have to do what it takes to make that difference.

One way to make a difference is to help those in need who ask for our help. There is a reason that they
are asking, and in particular asking us. Where we can we need to answer this call. Though how we help
is up to us. One of my sisters called this evening needing my help financially. She was in trouble and
needed a little money. She doesn't ask very often and then asks only for what she really needs so I don't
mind helping her. She has had a very difficult life. The bipolar condition started for her in her early teens
and wasn't diagnosed for over 15 years. That resulted in an extreme roller coaster ride for her
emotionally. I've been far more fortunate in my life. For this I am grateful. My experience with bipolar
has been a spiritual one.

I don't speak much of my family, or any others for the most part. Primarily, that is because I have
effectively isolated myself from others in the world ... with the exception of casual interactions. What I
know is my own experience. This is what I can share, and I try to share it fully. Whether it comes across
that way is for you to determine. Does what I express impact you or empower you in some way? That is
what really matters. I can't believe that consciousness is expressing all of this solely for me. Yes, I'm
special ... but, not that special. Sharing is how we make a difference in each others life. I like to think
that with this expression I share of whom that I AM in an intimate way. Then, what do I know of
intimacy? I do know that in all of my reading, I have never encountered material like what is expressed
here. Then again, that could be said for the expressions of others that have impacted my life greatly ...
such as Jane Roberts and the Seth books and Neale Donald Walsch and the Conversations with God
books.

I can't point to anything that I read that caused my awakening in 1993. It seemed to be triggered by other
forces at play in my life. All of a sudden, my consciousness started to stretch beyond itself. Astrological
signs indicated that major spiritual forces were at work. Neptune and Uranus were conjunct and square to
84
my Natal Sun. That's two outer planets in the strongest transit (conjunct) in one of the strongest triggering
aspects to the planet of the self (Sun). The cosmic egg simply had to crack. And, that it did ... wide open
in fact. I was left with a radical discontinuity in my experience of whom that I AM. Suddenly, I became
aware of being more than I dreamed that I was before. And, this awareness colored everything that I
experienced. Then, there was this stream of consciousness expression to deal with as well. Words were
flowing forth from me. Things were stated that I had no right to know based on any experiences that I
was aware of to date. Yet, I simply knew them. I experienced a major beliefquake that rocked and
undermined the foundations of my belief system. I had to start anew and discover what worked. How
many others have had such experiences? I have no way of knowing. My sense is that it is still very rare,
but that it is on the increase. The Aquarian Age is a time of increased conscious expression of spirit in
flesh. Does that mean that everyone will mend their ways and conform with the new energy being
expressed? It is not that simple. It is not clear how we get rid of the criminal element and those who
would do harm to others. Yet, somehow this is what we need to do. Catching criminals and putting them
in jail doesn't seem to be an effective way of dealing with the problem. However, I have no alternatives to
suggest at the moment. There must be better ways to rehabilitate criminals. The answer seems to be in
finding some what to increase their spiritual awareness. We need to induce an awakening experience that
results in the criminal not choosing to harm anymore.

16 October 2003

We're doing good for the month. This makes 16 musings in 16 days. That is not a large streak compared
with some that we have had, but it is a decent streak nonetheless. We've been averaging one missed
musing every ten days, but often they come in close proximity. That is OK. There is plenty of
opportunity to express what must be expressed. And, what cannot be expressed by us will be expressed
by others. For, the expression of spirit in flesh is what life is all about. We are integral parts of the
evolution of that expression. It is through us that spirit speaks and does her work in the world. Our hands
are her hands, our eyes are her eyes, our mind is her mind. We are spirit enfleshed here and now. We
have always been and will always be. That applies to all of us. It is all spirit. There is nothing but spirit
in expression. If that is so, then how do we explain all the bad, all the ugliness, all the violence and evil
that is expressed in the world? One doesn't need to look far to find it. It seems that it is everywhere. And,
in many respects it is. But there are shining pockets of hope ... places untouched by all of this. They are
there because we create them to be. We are creating the very world in which we exist. However, blinders
will not necessarily work to remove those elements that we do not want to see. They may for awhile ...
but ultimately we must institute changes for those things that we no longer desire to manifest in our
world. As a society, we are not really used to doing this. One reason for this is that we still behave as
individuals loosely grouped into a collective. This looseness limits our ability to manifest our collective
will ... and hopefully goodwill. Complex systems operate somewhere on the continuum between order
and chaos. Too much order and there is insufficient ability to adapt to changes. Too much chaos, as there
is not enough structure to give form to our manifestations. Life itself is a complex system that exists on
this continuum. However, there is an operating range wherein spirit can express physically. Some prefer
more order and some more chaos in their lives. This should be a lifestyle choice. We have the same
choice to make for our organizations ... only it is a collective rather than an individual choice.

How do we hold our organizations accountable for what they do and in some cases do not do? Ultimately
the organization is a collective expression of individuals. To what degree are which individuals within the
organization held accountable for their decisions and the results of those decisions? Often, it is not the
decision itself that is the problem ... it is the impacts of the decision on others. So, where is this leading?
What organizations would I choose to belong to? What organizations are out there to belong to? What
organizations are focused on creating a new world? How does one find out about these organizations?

85
How does one get an invitation to join? I believe that there are still secret societies out there who select
their prospective members carefully. How does one get on the list as a viable candidate?

From their works shall thou know them. To date, our "works" are mere words shared at a web site and
organized into books. That is important, but that is not enough. We need to do things and create things in
accord with these words. We are beginning to do that. It is a slow process, but in the end we will
succeed. The fate of the world lies in our hands. Yes, it is grandiose of me to believe that. But if we are
going to make a difference in the world, we need to take responsibility and do it. Why me? Why not
me? Who else is standing up volunteering to take this on? Surely, there are others who are meant to join
me in this endeavor. It is a matter of finding the works that they are doing and recognizing them to be
other players on the same team. There is a sense that I have done about as much as I can effectively do on
my own. It is time to engage others. I know that. It is just not clear how to implement it in my life yet.
Other than having volunteers step forward, I'm not sure what it is that I can do to identify those I am
meant to work with. Yes, I believe this is destined and will happen at the right time with the right people.

Life unfolds miraculously before us. Spirit animates all life. We all live in a spiritual world. That world
is embedded in the symbol systems that permeate the physical world and our knowledge about that
world. Often symbol systems operate on multiple levels. The most important meanings are often hidden
... and may not be related at all to the common meaning. The symbol systems that I have found most
useful are those used in various intuitive arts and sciences. It is the disciplines that employ the intuition
that seem to be closest to the spiritual. This is not surprising since the intuition is our connection to our
source ... the spirit within us. It is amazing to see how much specific information about us is contained in
these information systems. One just needs to learn the appropriate spiritual languages or hire the services
of those who have learned them. Numbers are still highly important in my life 88 and 888.88 were
prominent today. I look at 8 as the "as above, so below" symbol. 88 is "infinity above, infinity below".
Five 8's in sequence is quite rare. Actually, it is not just 8's. Quintuples and even quadruples are rare.
When such numbers enter my awareness, I take notice and start to look harder for thinks of significance to
enter into my world. This truly is Wayne's World. I would guess that it is unlike any other. That doesn't
mean it is more correct or better in any way. It is what it is. It is what I happen to experience ... what the
greater I the I AM happens to create. I look out into this world and see my reflection looking back at me.
All of this is what I have outpictured in some way. There are many parts of the consensus world that have
no corresponding place in Wayne's World. As such, they simply receive no energy and attention. This is a
choice that I make. Wherever we invest our attention and energy, our world grows. Our beliefs are our
primary means of making the choice as to how we will invest ourselves. They determine what we want to
see and ultimately what we manifest as our reality. Note the emphasis. I don't believe that there is
anything that is the reality. From what I can tell, reality is the subjective phenomenon that an aware
being experiences. There is no objective reality. That is why science doesn't ultimately lead us to
spiritual truth. That does not mean that it doesn't have it's place. Science and its cousin Technology have
allowed us to create many wonders in our world and come to an understanding of many things. However,
it will never be able to tell us the meaning of life, or the purpose of any individual life. For this we must
appeal to other domains and other disciplines. These may not be as rigorous. In fact, they may be
downright fuzzy in comparison. That doesn't matter, they are what they are and they are sufficient to
accomplish their purpose. I am a sort of jack of all trades if you will with an extensive formal education
in math, science, and engineering; and an extensive informal training in metaphysics. Both have been
important in my life. But, I can't imagine living without the later in my life. Metaphysics is that
important to whom that I AM. It is that part of my education that allows this expression to come forth as
it does. The quantity and quality of the expression continue to blow me away. I look back at everything
that has been expressed and just can't believe it. How could all of this come forth through me? What
does it say about the nature of the Self, the nature of consciousness, and how spirit expresses in flesh?

86
The words continue to pour forth. Where they come from ... I only know as source. They do not feel like
they come from me, rather they come through me. That feeling has been consistent throughout the past
decade. If these words are from me ... then there are knowledgeable parts of us that we know only by
their works. Is that really any different than other parts of us? Do we really know how our eyes see or
how our ears hear or how our mind thinks, or how our intuition intuits? Do we know how consciousness
expresses in us? Do we know what constitutes awareness? Do we know how spirit touches us and
infuses us with life? My understanding is that we know very little about any of this. Even with all that I
have experienced and expressed, I personally know very little ... and the vast majority know much less.
Yet a good number of us are able to lead fruitful and fulfilling lives anyway. I don't know that I count
myself in this number yet. It seems that I need to reach a point where I am more happy to be able to place
myself in such a category. What does it take to be fulfilled and happy? Living the life that you are meant
to live. Hmm ... that is an interesting answer. We will know when we are doing what we are meant to do
by noting how happy we are when doing it. That puts this expression right at the top. Here is where I
truly live. Here is where I get to express whom that I AM. But what good does it do if there is no one to
share it? Actually, there is a one-way sharing that is occurring. It just seems it would be much more
effective as a two-way exchange. One way or another, it seems that we will know soon enough. I have a
strong sense that major changes are in store for my life. Is this wishful thinking ... or is this based on
something real? I guess we will know if it happens. That is the ultimate test of everything.

What would I manifest in my life? I could be more abundant. Though, I have more abundance in my life
already than most experience. It seems that I should be more thankful for and appreciative of what I
already have in my life. How can we think about being deserving of more if we aren't grateful for what
we have? There is always something to be grateful for. Most of us will find that there is much to be
grateful for, far more than we had thought. Just being alive is a miracle. Being healthy is another. Living
in a free country is another. Having the opportunity to be whom we choose to be is another. Enjoying the
fruits of a free enterprise economy is another. There are so many things to be grateful for. The bottom
line is what we believe that we deserve. This is the limiting factor in what we manifest for ourselves. We
are constantly creating what we believe that we deserve in our life. If we don't like what we are
experiencing, that is where we need to work ... with our beliefs about what we deserve. In doing so, we
need to be kind to ourselves and avoid beating ourselves up. We also need to refrain from accepting past
patterns as indicators of future experience. We have the power to change these patterns in the moment.
And, change them we must if we want to be free from them.

17 October 2003

Once again we come here to express. This is a sanctuary where we are free to express as we will. No,
that is not quite right. We express as spirit wills. We allow this stream of consciousness to come forth.
We may guide or steer it at times. However, mostly we just allow it to take us wherever it will. We trust
that what is expressed has a purpose, has a reason for existence. I know for a fact that it moves me
deeply. I share it in the hope that it will move others in a similar manner. This is an example of how
consciousness can express if we allow her to do so in our lives. For some, this is a difficult thing to do. It
requires letting go and operating out of control to some degree. It requires taking our consciousness to the
very edge of what might be considered sane ... and occasionally jumping off and flying. As one
diagnosed as bipolar who experiences mania regularly ... this is relatively easy for me. You might even
say that it is natural for me. Others might find it far more difficult or challenging. By some accounts, I
have to be crazy to believe as I do. Many of my beliefs are far from conventional. In particular, the
metaphysics related beliefs. However, that doesn't make them wrong. We are free to believe whatsoever
we choose. Ultimately, the true test for beliefs is utility. Do they empower us and help us to lead a better
life ... including having a positive impact on all those whom we touch?

87
Man has only been flying physically for close to 100 years. The first flight took place in around 1903.
Yet, in consciousness we have been soaring for millennia. No, not the masses. But there have always
been avatars to show the way. It is interesting that aviator and avatar are so close to one another. The
biggest difference being the "I". Otherwise, they would sound similar. To me, the "I" represents the
addition of ego. If we drop the vowels, we get v-t-r as the root for both words. 22-2-9. Isn't that
interesting, a span of 13 from 2-9 to 2-22. 9 is the Hermit. 22 is the Master Builder. 2:The High
Priestess and the Ray of Love/Wisdom. This is the first time I've been moved to find meaning in this
manner. However, there is something in the back of my mind about Sanskrit words being the root
consonants. I consider Sanskrit to be a spiritual language ... though I know very little about it. If memory
serves me, Hebrew also focuses on the consonants, leaving out the vowels.

Where do we go to find the guideposts that others have left in the wilderness of consciousness? I've
operated solo for so long that I don't really know. Occasionally I find a book that moves me. However,
much of my life now is given to this expression. For the most part, this is a one way exchange ... a flow
of information from source through me to the world. Rarely do I get any feedback from others. I solicit
and desire feedback. It might help me to adjust what is expressed so that it comes forth even better than it
does. Though, I think quite highly of what is expressed and am glad to be able to play a role in its
manifestation. I love words, especially words that move us deeply. This expression has many passages
that move me deeply. I have every reason to believe that they have the potential to move others in a
similar fashion. That is part of what keeps me doing this. There is a sense of importance; a sense that I
am doing something that can make a real difference in people's lives ... many people's lives. It seems it is
not for me to know how many. Further, the impact of this expression may not even occur within my
lifetime. It depends on the readiness of individuals in the world to embrace new wisdom ... to embrace a
new set of fundamental principles at the foundations of society. Spirit knows what these fundamental
principles are and she will exercise her creativity to ensure that the world gets out in a variety of forms
that the variety of people in the world can relate to. There is no one way. There are many paths available
to follow. It is for us to find the path(s) that are right for us, or to blaze new ones if necessary.

The idea that the impact of my expression may not be felt until after I have departed was a bit
disconcerting. I have always felt that I am here to make a difference to the world and that I would see that
difference manifest even though I wouldn't be around very long to enjoy the fruits of what I helped to
create. I still feel this to be the case ... that I will see a new world manifest in a new age before I depart.
Though, the sense is that I need to find more ways to enjoy the process. It needs to be enough that I do
what I can do and that I express to the best of my ability. That is all that we can expect from anyone. All
that we can do is our best. Though, if we are growing and developing, our best keeps becoming better
and better. Why am I so determined to make a difference on a worldwide level? That is a grandiose thing
to need to do. Indeed it is. But, I believe that my abilities are such that such grandiosity is deserved in
my case. Someone needs to do such grand things. That I recognize that they need to be done and that I
have the ability to do them suggest that perhaps they are mine to do. If they are someone else's tasks ...
they will step forward to do them as required. At this point in my life I am still focused on what it is that I
can do. My expression is still as an individual. Though I desire that it expand to be a group expression.
This requires finding kindred spirits that are interest in doing things to create a new world. I need to find
them or they need to find me. Somehow we need to find one another. Here, I am somewhat at a loss as to
how to do this. At 45, this is not something I've done very much. About 16 years ago, I set out in search
of kindred spirits to discuss the Seth material. In fact, I met my wife and an astrologer friend that way.
The intent in posting all of the material to the Beyond Imagination site was to help find my spiritual
family. I have not really been successful at this. Not that I haven't been trying. I've expressed a lot and
posted nearly everything. However, that has resulted in only an occasional communication ... or
sometimes brief series of communications. There have been no long lasting relationships that have
developed where there is frequent communication. It seems that such is what I am looking for now, either
someone or some group to interact with on a regular basis. It would help to have a support group that
88
served as a base from which I could soar further than I can on my own. That is my desire at this point
anyway. I realize that being a member of such a group requires a commitment of my time and energy.
But, the sense is that the rewards far outweigh the investment. Looking at what has been expressed
through me in the past decade, it boggles my mind to think of what might be expressed if we had a group
of kindred spirits working together to manifest something. Just think of what we might be able to
achieve. Literally, the sky is the limit. So, two things are needed ... to find the members of the group, and
to set up an organization that allows them to function effectively together. My experience with groups to
date has been quite limited. Occasionally, I work on various teams in my job. However, I have virtually
no social life, so my experience outside of work is nearly non-existent. That is OK. That hasn't stopped
me from connecting with source and expressing all that I have here.

So, where do we go from here? It seems that we continue to be moved to express. Consciousness, it
seems, still has much to say through us. We don't know how long that will last ... but it seems that it will
continue through the end of the year. There is no reason that I know of that would keep it from continuing
into 2004 as well. Though, it seems it is time for a change in focus or a change in format of some type.
The new year brings a whole new set of vibrations. 2 x 1002 = 2 x 2 x 501 = 2 x 2 x 3 x 167 = 12 x 167 =
the cube with edges of 167. 167 is 33 to 2 = 33 22 a double master number with the Master Teacher and
the Master Builder. That seems appropriate for doing something to help build the foundations for a new
world. The Master Builder needs to build the spiritual foundations and the Master Teacher needs to
educate people to prepare them to live in the new world in the new age.

18 October 2003

One more day. Once again we find our way here to express as has become our habit of late. And, such a
nice habit it is ... to be able to bring forth something fresh and new each day. Here we engage in the
expression of consciousness. Here, we experience a little more of whom that we are. That is what life is
about for us, the expression of spirit in flesh. This stream of consciousness is spirits way of expressing
through us. It is important that it is allowed to flow forth. Important to whom? For one, it is important to
me. But, my sense is that it is important to others as well, though they be unknown to me. My wife asked
today how many books I intended to publish. I responded at least four more that I know of ... perhaps
more depending on what I am moved to write. She also asked if I really needed to publish everything that
I write. The underlying tone suggested that perhaps some of it was not worthy of going to the trouble to
publish it. After all, how many book sales have I had. I only know of three for certain. We won't know if
there were more and how many there were until we see the royalty statements from the publisher next
month. We should have started to see some sales, but I wouldn't have any clue as to how many. We
published the books to give the Beyond Imagination material a more official footing and to make the
material available in more than just pages on the WWW. Most of the material in the books is still
available at the Beyond Imagination site and I have no intent to change that. There is just something
about having a real book in your hands that is more satisfying and more convenient.

OK, what would we express today? What is import on this 10/18 = 28 day in a 23/5 year? I applied for a
credit card at Home Depot to purchase some wood flooring for the house. The final five of the credit card
came out as 20184. This is very close to the final four of my SSN = 2184. Actually, 2184 has been
coming up all over the place. In one case it had 45 on one side and 59 = 5x9 = 45 on the other side. My
present age is 45. Further, my gas bill today came to 20.25 = 45 x 45. Another confirmation that I am
onto something. However, the pieces do not create a comprehensive picture. At least not yet. All in due
time. We experience what we need to experience when we need to experience it. There is nothing that we
can do to force things to happen before their time. However, it seems that we can do things that delay
when things happen in our lives ... or perhaps even prevent them from happening. Destiny is somewhat

89
open ended. It is dependent on our choices to play itself out. We truly do create our reality. It is within
our power to make our lives a living hell or a heaven on earth or anything in between. How many of us
realize this? How many of us accept responsibility, full responsibility, for what happens in our lives and
how we react to it? It isn't so much what happens that matters, it is the meaning that we assign to what
happens. We are free to assign any meaning to anything that happens. We can allow things to touch us or
we can remain aloof. This is one area where our freedom is absolute. We will be subject to our beliefs
however. Our beliefs are our way of informing our self as to what we would like to see in our reality.
They include beliefs about self worth and what we are worthy of receiving. They include beliefs about
what is important and what is not important. They include beliefs about the nature of reality and how it is
created.

What would I create in my life that I don't already have? The primary thing missing is relationships. This
is not surprising since I've effectively chosen to live my life as a hermit. Though, that in and of itself
doesn't preclude the establishment of relationships. Part of the challenge is that I'm looking for others that
relate to what and how I express. So, they need to be interested enough to read a reasonable portion of
what is at the Beyond Imagination site. That provides a basis for opening a dialog and starting a
friendship. I'm willing to read what others have expressed as well if they'll make contact and point me to
the site. How important is this to me? My sense is that I'm reaching the limits of what I can do on my
own. I don't know right now whether that will happen in two months, two seasons, two years, or even
two decades. It seems like it is sooner vs later. I don't like the idea of remaining alone indefinitely. And,
that is how I feel. Though, it is an aloneness that is at one with spirit ... so how alone can it really be?
Spirit is always by my side. She is ever ready to express when we allow her to. This is her expression as
much as it is mine, perhaps even more so.

What else would I create? Clearly this expression is one thing. It is important to allow spirit to express
here as she will. I put no restrictions on what she would communicate. I trust that she has something to
say that needs to be expressed and needs to be heard by someone ... perhaps even by many. At some
point, maybe the Beyond Imagination works will make it to bestseller status. Though, for me it is enough
that it reached who it is intended to reach ... and, I believe that to be spirits call not mine. Is that a
copout? It seems that I make spirit responsible for everything. However I take full responsibility for
what I allow spirit to do through me. So, there is personal responsibility as well. I'm not trying to get
away with anything. I'm just doing the best with what I've got. Since I have alot, I expect a great deal
from myself. For years, I was by far my harshest critic. Lately, I go far easier not only on myself but on
others. Awareness, allowance, and acceptance. Let this be our creed.

In over seventeen years of formal schooling through an MSEE from Stanford, I don't remember even once
discussing or covering awareness. How can our education system claim to be educating us if it fails to
include something so fundamental? If we follow the dictum to Know Thyself, nearly the first thing we
encounter on the path is that we are an aware being with a consciousness only part of which we are
directly aware. In fact, it is difficult to tell whether the known or the unknown is the greater part of
existence. I would offer it is the unknown. The relationship of the known to the unknown is similar to
that between the part of an iceberg above water versus below water.

19 October 2003

We're getting a very late start tonight. The day just got away from me. Sometimes it is like that. Having
to commute back to Redondo Beach didn't help, but that's the normal Sunday night drill. Anyway we're
here now. Let's see what consciousness has to express. I never really know what to expect. I give
consciousness free reign here. From the beginning over ten years ago, this has been a stream of

90
consciousness expression. I have never been one to engage in much research. You'll notice that there are
no footnotes and few references to the works of others. That is not so much by design as it is by natural
tendency. I don't tend to remember very much. Material gets input from a variety of sources and gets put
into the matrix of my mind. The things that need to be connected get connected. The things that I need to
be aware of somehow get brought to my attention. In many ways, I live my life on automatic ... trusting
that other than conscious parts of me are feeding me what I need to experience. Someone asked whether
these writings are channeled or automatic. I don't know that they are channeled. I don't sense them to be
coming from an "entity" other than me. However they do come forth automatically from something that I
label as "source".

The nature of the expression changes from day to day, and even from hour to hour sometimes. This seems
to be due to changes in me rather than changes in source. Some days the expression is so fast that I can
barely keep up with typing it. Other days the expression seems to be much slower ... there is more of an
effort required to bring it forth. That too does not seem to matter. The speed of delivery is what it is. I
trust that whatever is meant to come forth will indeed do so. A whole lot comes forth. How am I
expected to deal with literally millions of words? Before I'm through, there will likely be over 10 million
words, though that depends on continued expression for the next 25 years at a rate equivalent to that of the
past decade. At this point, I have no reason to doubt that this will occur. Writing is it for me. It is how I
express whom that I AM. No, it is not as personal as speaking. But, I must do what I must do.

I met with someone today who was far more comfortable speaking about her metaphysical experiences
than I am. I found the interaction interesting and even enjoyable. I could definitely use a lot more of that
in my life. I can see that I would benefit greatly from it. And, hopefully I would have something to share
as a result of equal or greater value. So, what can I do to draw more such people and experiences into my
life? How do I create an emotional reality as rich as the spiritual one that I enjoy? How do I adjust my
spiritual reality so that it is inclusive of others and not so isolated? Yes, that is what I desire now. It is
time to start living a richer life. What do I have to do to make it richer?

What would I do next? How would I change my life to conform to what I desire? How do I make
connections and establish friendships? This is new ground for me. I've been such a loner for so long that
I don't really know how to do this. Most people acquire this skill of being social as they are growing up.
I was deficient in this, preferring to focus on self and finding out who I am. As an Aries with Uranus in
the first house, this is natural. I am eccentric. I know that. However, I need to live in the world anyway.
I need to do my work in the world as well. Though, this involves building the foundations for a new
world. My experience today verifies that I am not meant to do this alone. This is something requires the
cooperation of many. We each have our pieces of the puzzle to share. Together we can create something
magnificent. We can bring forth a spiritual vibration that literally changes the world ... big time. A new
world for a new age ... how appropriate. This is grand work that we are doing. It is work that takes aware
beings doing what they can, doing what they are moved to do.

20 October 2003

Another day, another musing. That makes 20 for 20 this month. I am grateful to have the talents
necessary to express in this manner. It is not something that many are blessed to do. Why should I be
picked out to be so special? I am whom that I AM. The more that I express, the more that I learn just
who this is. There is something about watching this stream of consciousness being expressed through me
that is powerful and enlightening. It is definitely mind expanding and consciousness expanding. For me,
this is how I learn what I am capable of ... or what spirit is capable of expressing through me. There is
nothing like firsthand experience. Yet, I am deeply moved to share what comes forth. I don't know why

91
exactly. There is just a sense that the expression could be of utility to others ... perhaps even great utility.
It documents an aware being coming to grips with the nature of itself, consciousness, and spirit. Is that
enough to give it value to others? My immediate answer is yes. But, that comes from a pride of
authorship, and a grandiosity of spirit. That is OK. For many years, I have done what I am moved to do.
I've been moved to express and share what is expressed for over a decade now. Prior to that, I was in
input mode ... and didn't really write anything.

What changed? In 1993, I experienced an intense spiritual awakening over the course of about 6 months.
During that time, the writings began and grew greatly in frequency and volume. By August, I was flying
high ... so high that I could not function at work and took what was to be a three month medical leave of
absence. On October 1, I was taken to the mental hospital and diagnosed as bipolar. I was put on Eskalith
to control the swings of mental function. About six months later, Depakote was added to the daily
medications. I'm still taking these to this day, along with Zyprexa which was added a couple of years ago
when I was flying high again. As far as I can tell, I am fortunate in only seeing the manic side of bipolar.
I don't think that I've been depressed during this time. I seem to vary from mild mania to moderate mania
even with the medications. My life is primarily a life of spirit ... or at least a life devoted to spiritual
expression. Such it has been since the awakening. For 20 years prior to that, I was heavily involved in
metaphysics ... reading over 1000 books. If I could remember what I read, that should have been enough
to make me an expert. However, my understanding was in my head. I lived in my mind and my mental
creations. Now, I live in a different place. I use my mental abilities, but they are subordinate to the
experience of being consciousness and being aware.

I had an interesting e-mail from someone regarding Reality Creation 1010. He said that many people are
reluctant to read a "wall of words". I thought that was interesting. What are the foundations for a new
world going to be? Are walls of words sufficient? It is curious that I don't indent the first words of
paragraphs. This has been my style since the expression began. I divide paragraphs with a blank line.
Some of my paragraphs are quite long ... exceeding a page of text in book format. However, the breaks
occur naturally. Writing has always been a natural process for me. I didn't have to learn how to do it.
And, I refuse to consciously conform to any rules. This stream of consciousness expression is perfectly
suited to my temperament and my nature. Here is where I am free in ways that I am not free anywhere
else. Here is where I can be whom that I AM. The blank page doesn't criticize. It openly accepts all that
I would care to express. What happens after that has not been my concern very much to date. Though,
that is starting to change. There is a sense that I have a role to play in getting the word out ... in making
people aware that Beyond Imagination exists and has a body of metaphysical works that may be of utility
to people in their lives. There is a lot of guidance offered here. No, it does not apply to everyone ... at
least not all of it. But, there is enough variety that it can apply to many. Will the material ultimately
impact many? That we will see in the months and years ahead. It will impact who it is meant to impact ...
and they in turn will impact others. And, in the end the whole world will awaken. But, one step at a time.

We have six books published to date this year, a seventh due out any day now, and an eighth due out
before Christmas. That is a monumental amount of work to have accomplished in a year. We expect to
publish at least four more books in 2004. In fact, we are already working on three of them. Why so
many? Because there was a lot of material to pull from and the amount of work to package it into books
was far less than I had thought possible. Also, the cost to publish each book was very reasonable. Prior to
February, I had no idea just how reasonable. No, the books aren't perfect. They capture the Beyond
Imagination expression as it came forth. There was no sense that I should edit it in any way, other than
spell checking and some simple grammar correction. I am not one to rewrite what has already come
forth. Even during my school days, the first draft was almost always the final one. I trust that whatever is
bringing it forth knows what she is doing and is expressing what she wants to express. Yes, I am an
integral part of the process ... however, no more integral than the keyboard that allows me to get this
expression into the computer so that it can be stored, displayed, and ultimately shared. Thou, my mind
92
does have to synchronize with the energy that is being expressed. I liken the process to an instrument
being played by a master musician. My mind is the instrument, spirit is the musician. My awareness
experiences the music that spirit is able to evoke through the instrument. Further, and perhaps even more
importantly ... my awareness witnesses the process. In doing so, I know that I am not doing it all, not
consciously anyway. There is a mystery involved in how all of this works. The process is magical. It is
not meant to be explained, it is meant to be experienced.

I have this feeling that I am starting to repeat things that I have said before. It is not clear how much truly
new material is coming forth. Yet, I am moved to express in this manner anyway. The expression is what
it needs to be. It flows out of the present moment into manifestation. Here, the word is made flesh and is
captured in physical form. File after file, day after day the expression continues. Even after ten years, it
still moves me deeply. I am amazed by what is expressed, not only amazed that it could come through me
... but amazed that it could come forth from spirit in this manner. I can still go back to any part of the
expression and re-experience it as if it were the first time that I saw it. Seth's work was like that as well.
Though, Seth was more focused in his books than I am. What does that say about the material that it can
remain new and fresh in that way? Further, it seems that the meaning of what was expressed varies over
time as I change and grow in awareness. I wonder whether the expression impacts others in that way as
well.

I am anxious to get on with my life. There is a strong sense that a new phase is about to begin. In fact, it
seems that 2004 will bring this into my life somehow. The vibrations of the year will impact how I
manifest. 2003 was characterized by transiting Pluto trine to my natal Sun for most of the year, including
three directs the final of which occurs on 11/11 if memory serves me. This triggered all the ninth house
written expression and publishing that has occurred this year. That wasn't all ... there were also several
other outer planet transits to spice up the year. The body of writing provides a basis for assessing if and
how these factors impacted the character of the expression. That might make for an interesting case
study. That is one of the good things about capturing all of this in the manner that I do. There is a
substantial record of the experiences of an aware being coming to grips with its own awareness and its
spiritual nature.

At this point, there is no sense that this will let up anytime soon. It is as if I have tapped an artesian well.
It doesn't take any effort on my part to pump the effort from source ... it just flows out naturally. So, this
is not really work. It is an endeavor of love that I engage in. It is curious that I travel the length of
Artesia Blvd twice each week and live two blocks off of it. Artesia Blvd is also known as the 91 which
for me is 78 + 13: Death Exalted. Lately, it has become much more important to share the results of that
endeavor with others. I have been posting the expression to the WWW since 1995. But, that is not
enough. That gets it in some people's hands but not necessarily the right people's hands. How do I know
that? Because it has not resulted in any close relationships yet. It seems that one of the reasons for
expressing in this manner is to open a major part of my life to others. The hope would be that there would
be others that would be open to sharing in kind and establishing mutual cooperative endeavors. I look at
all that spirit has done through me, and I can't help but wonder what glories could be if we were united to
create a greater vessel for consciousness to express.

It is hard to be other than grandiose when I look at all that has been expressed through me since 1993.
Spirit has been prolific. Yet, what is it all for? I have been the witness to it all. But, I am not aware of
whom the material has reached and how it has impacted them. I trust that it has had some impact. My
sense is that everything is done for a reason. This expression has come forth in the manner that it has for
various reasons. One reason is to provide me with the experiences and information that I needed to grow
and develop into who I have become. This includes the awakening experiences that have resulted.
Everything in me says that is not the major reason for this expression. This is to be an example for others
somehow. I am a wayshower. A major part of the way for me is what consciousness has been able to
93
express in my life. We are spirit enfleshed already. We have been for so long as we have been incarnate.
Though, it seems that few are truly in touch with the spiritual aspect of themselves. Here, intuition has a
big part to play. It is our tie to source ... the one consciousness.

It would be helpful to get feedback on this expression. Does it move people? Does it help people? What
could be done to make it more useful to those who encounter it? The expression naturally evolves to be
more and more useful to me. But, that is not enough. I would have it impact others, and impact them
deeply. Yet, I don't do anything in particular to make this so. I continue to express as I am moved to
express ... as a stream of consciousness.

21 October 2003

The stream of consciousness continues to flow forth and I anxiously await to see where it will lead. This
is an endeavor of love for me. It captivates my heart and my soul as nothing else does in my life. I am
privileged to be the one through whom all this comes. I get to experience firsthand the creative power of
spirit operating in my life. This seems to be a rare thing, though it is becoming more and more common.
I am grateful for all that I experience. There are some areas of my life that could use improvement ... but
overall there is a sense that I am carrying out my mission and doing exactly what I need to do. The
improvements are things that would enable me to enjoy the process of my life more. The journey is what
it is all about.

What more can I do? It is difficult staying focused at work when this expression is so much more
engrossing. Yet, I know that my job is still part of my path. There is something more that I can learn
from it. And, it covers me financially until something else kicks in. I'm within weeks of completing my
seventh year with this company. That is as long as I've worked anywhere. It has been an interesting
seven years that included a three-month medical leave of absence in April through June of 1998. Overall
the company is a good one to work for. The benefits are good and employees are treated well. But, there
is no sense that I am rising up to reach anything close to my potential. I do what I do very well. But, that
still comes primarily as an individual contributor. I haven't really reached a position of leadership ... so
there is a whole side of skills that goes unused. This contributes to a sense of dissatisfaction. I know that
there is more that I could be doing. I just don't know how to do it in the work environment. Similarly, in
the Beyond Imagination expression, there is a sense that while I am doing a lot ... I could be doing far
more. Though, here I seem to be far more in control of my destiny.

I don't consider myself a people person. I'm not the kind to chat and make idle conversation. I would
prefer to deal deeply with others or not at all. Doing otherwise is a waste of my time as well as those with
whom I deal. Given that preference and that belief, it is not surprising that I make so few contacts with
others. Though, I have literally expressed volumes. Those words introduce you to who I am and the
world in which I live. If you like what you see and find it of utility, do initiate contact by introducing
yourself. My name below has a link by which to e-mail me. You'll find that I am quite approachable and
responsive ... especially when it comes to the topics of consciousness and spirit in expression. Then
again, everything is spirit in expression, so that's a broad topic. I am curious as to how others experience
consciousness in their lives. Is it similar to or different than my own experience. I've focused so heavily
on my own reality and my own experience for so long that I have little to no insight into others. Perhaps
it is time to change this focus. It needs to change if I am going to develop close relationships in my life.
However it is tough to make the leap from what you know to what you don't know even if it offers the
potential for much good to come into my life and into the world. I look at all that has been expressed
through me to date ... and can't help but think what might have been expressed if I were not so isolated
from others. Then again, perhaps it was that very isolation that enabled me to express all of this. That

94
doesn't mean that the isolation has to continue. My experience on Sunday was a case in point. There was
an exchange of energy of great mutual benefit. It allowed me to see that indeed there are others worthy of
communicating with who have different experiences than my own ... but who are just as much into
metaphysics and spiritual development as I am. I was starting to get a bit of a superiority complex. This
was just what I needed to tone that down. Now, how do I find others with whom to interact in a similar
fashion and preferably on a continual basis? That is what I want in my life. That is the key thing that is
missing.

I also desire to make my spiritual work, my life's work. Hmm ... it already is. There is nothing that says
that your life's work will also be your means of earning a living. Though, it would sure be nice if it were.
It seems that I could accomplish so much more if this were a fulltime rather than a part time endeavor.
What would it take to manifest that? What would it take to be able to do what I love to do on a fulltime
basis? The desire is one thing. But, something more is needed. In particular, we need opportunity. We
have a product to sell in the Beyond Imagination books. Further, there must be some kind of service that
we could offer that would be of value to people. At this point, I don't know what that is. But, there must
be something. All of this intuitive expression has surely trained me to do something. I've been moved to
set a price for this expression at $1 per word. Somehow, it seems that such a price will indeed be paid.
Allowing the expression to pour forth is like putting money into the bank. Every word gets credited.
When the money will be received physically and made accessible to me is a different matter. It seems that
this is not something to be forced. Everything in its proper season. It will happen when the time is right
for it to happen. With all of the expression in the past ten years, there is a big positive balance. We are
past the 3 million words point and still growing by 1-2 thousand nearly every day. That is a lot of
expression. Even if I subtract what I have been paid to date, we are still close to 2 million short of being
compensated fairly. That is OK. I have what I need. I live comfortably overall. A bigger house and
some better things might be nice ... but it is not clear that they would make me happier. How much space
do two people and three dogs really need? What I do need is people with whom to relate to. This doesn't
have to cost anything except time. Time is a precious commodity. But, I would consider such a use of my
time to be an investment toward a better future. There is only so much fulfillment that I can derive from
this expression. At some point what matters is how we impact others. I can impact others through my
words and through my presence. I haven't had the opportunity to do much of the later, and it seems high
time that I did.

The march toward a better future starts with the changes that we make here and now in the present
moment. What am I willing to do differently to make myself more approachable and accessible so that I
can draw people into my life? There is no doubt about it, that is what I want to do right now. The first
answer that comes to mind is a scary one ... whatever it takes. But, that is almost always the right
answer. If we really want something, we need to be willing to do whatever it takes to get it. As a
spiritually focused being, this will be consistent with whom that I am. But, it will be different than I have
been used to experiencing or expressing. That is OK. It is time for something new. It will be interesting
to see what the new year brings. There is a sense that major changes are in store not only for me
personally but for Beyond Imagination and for all those whose lives I am able to touch. Yes, that is
expecting a lot. And yes, it is audacious and grandiose of me to believe this. But, I believe it
nevertheless. I will make a difference ... preferably a major difference for many, perhaps even for the
world. Yes, this is what I demand from myself. I can be very demanding. Part of that comes from
knowing what I am capable of. That, and not being willing to accept less from myself. Though, I'm still
not doing all that I can do even under my present circumstances. Further, I have created these
circumstances for a reason. One reason that I can think of is to enable me to have time to express in the
manner that I do. Another is to experience sufficient dissatisfaction to move me to do something.

95
22 October 2003

Once again we are drawn here to express ... as we are so often of late. We're still on a consecutive streak
for the month. Though a business trip next week may change that unless I choose to express longhand.
That is always a possibility. But, it is much slower and harder to do than to type. However, there is a
heightened need to express, so I just may overcome the obstacles. We're only talking about two days. We
can put up with anything for two days. I also have a vacation planned for early November, but I should be
able to take my laptop with me since it is a driving trip and the days have already become noticeably
shorter. Fall is definitely upon us. Though, the temperatures in Southern California are still reminiscent
of summer.

So, what would come forth today? Why is it necessary to express each day? There is a sense that when
we don't express, we block the flow and create a backlog of sorts. It then takes significant effort to
remove the backlog and express everything that has been held back. When we express regularly the
expression is more fluid and not as hurried. We can take our time allowing it to come forth. It seems that
regardless, what needs to be expressed will be expressed. That seems to be a matter of fate, not of
choice. Though I freely choose to engage in this expression. This is not forced upon me. I am moved to
do it. But that is not from any external force but from a source that comes from within. One can do far
worse than to serve spirit. Ultimately, this is the one choice that matters most. Though serving spirit by
serving others is something that we must do in our own way. This is the highest endeavor that we can
engage in. It requires that which is grandest within us. We will know when we are doing it. Our lives
will click, they will work in ways that are harmonious. We will be able to fully express whom that we
are. These are BIG things. They are things that will make a major difference in the world, especially if
many of us are doing them. How many is many? I don't know, but it takes far less that a majority to
make a big difference. How can that be? How can an outnumbered force overcome a much greater
force? The trick comes from the synergy involved when a focused group is formed. When the time is
right, the spiritual force will be unleashed and nothing in its way will be able to stop it.

How can I know the things that I know? How can the bulk of this stream of consciousness be expressed
in the declarative? What is this thing that I call source from which this material springs? These are
important questions, but do I really need to know the answers? Is it not enough to simply do what I am
moved to do and be aware of that? Is it not enough to experience and express whom that I AM? Some
things are not meant to be explained or even known. These may well be some of them. That doesn't
mean we can't use the energies and the abilities to create things in the world. In fact, we will be surprised
at just how much we can create if we apply ourselves diligently. What I have been able to express is but
one example. You too can do these things. Perhaps your forte is not writing ... but there is something that
you can do well that is of utility to others. Ultimately it is what we share that is of utility to others that
matters most. That is how we make progress in any area of endeavor ... we share. We share of whom
that we are, we share of what we know, we share of what we have experienced ... as much as we can.
There is always something to share, and someone or some group to share it with. We just have to be
ourselves and be open to the opportunities that present themselves.

Why am I so tired lately? I can barely keep my eyes open at times. I get enough sleep, close to 8 hours
per day ... and even more on weekends. Why is that not enough? Is there something about this
expression that drains my batteries so to speak? Struggling to stay awake is hard work. Hmm ... the
suggestion is that struggling to stay aware is hard work as well. What can I do to correct this? It seems
that this is driven by some sort of imbalance. It is getting bad enough that I need to do something about
it. I'm not sure what yet, but I sense that I will be finding out soon somehow. Generally, when I become
interested enough in something to ask questions the answers are forthcoming. Occasionally, the answers
come even before the questions. I can trust that one way or another I will come to know what I need to

96
know when I need to know it. Some things just can't be rushed. We need to be patient and allow them to
manifest in their due time.

Celine Dion sings A New Day has Come. I've been hearing/noticing that song more frequently of late. I
typically hear it several times per day, "Let it shatter the walls for a new Sun/Son". I still don't know
how to interpret that line. It is repeated around half a dozen times in the course of the song. It strikes me
as being very important ... even though I don't know the meaning. That is not unusual. There are many
things that strike me as being important ... without my having a clue as to why. Many of the numbers that
I see are like that. It takes effort to pull the meaning out of the symbol systems in our life. My sense is
that much of the meaning is innate. It is something that we feel directly. However, when we are
attempting to be more aware ... it is important to make this process more conscious. Ultimately, we are
able to choose what things mean to us. It is more effective doing this when we know the languages of the
symbol systems. That allows them and spirit to reveal to us the information that we need to be able to
make good choices in our lives. Good choices are those that benefit ourselves and others. It is very
important that we consider the impact on others in our decisions. The best decisions are those that
support both the individual and the collective.

What would I do next? I'm going to have to do something to make my work more exciting. Fighting to
stay awake just doesn't cut it. I need to be challenged more. I need to be doing things that use more of
my talents. How do I do that? How do I restructure what I am doing so that coming to work becomes
more of a joy than a chore that I have to do to pay the bills? To some degree, I feel trapped by it all. Yet,
at the same time, I know that I am free at heart ... and that my spiritual liberation is close at hand. I just
don't know how close. Are we talking weeks, months, or years? I just don't know. It will happen when it
happens. Until then, all that I can do is what I am moved to do. I am suffering from a sort of self-
imposed isolation. I can change that. I can restructure my working relationships with others. This is a
matter of choice that is well within my authority. I just need to choose to work differently and engage
with others more, rather than working so independently. Though, there is something to be said for
independence. It frees me to do a lot, not being bogged down by the inefficiencies inherent in most
groups that I have experienced to date. Though, it does not have to be that way. There is the potential for
synergy to arise in groups. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to arise very often yet.

Yes, big changes are needed, and I sense they are in store. It is a matter of accepting them and allowing
them to happen. I have no sense that I need to do anything in particular to make them happen. The
guidance remains: do as you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. That has been consistent for
many years. It doesn't help me to know what I must do in advance. But it assures me that what I need in
the moment will be given to me in the moment ... even if that is the inner push to do something. For
many years, I have lived my life in the moment. I had no need for plans. There were no goals or
objectives that I was trying to reach. There still aren't for the most part. I am what I am. I express what I
express. If you like it and it serves you, great. If not, find somewhere else to spend your time and
energy. I can only be the best that I can be. I can only express what spirit is able to bring forth through
me. Since 1993, that has been a lot ... but particularly since the beginning of 2002. Is the expression of
utility to others? You tell me. I know that it is beneficial to me, and I have to believe that it would benefit
others. But only you can determine how it impacts you.

It still amazes me that I can speak in this manner, that all of this could come forth through me. Yet here it
is. There is no denying it. We have millions of words to attest to the process. This is a stream of
consciousness expression. You are seeing it uncut and unedited except for some spell-checking. This is
how I've been moved to express for many years. There is no going back. The expression transforms me
into more than I was before. My awareness continues to increase to account for all that I experience. Part
of what I experience is observing myself observing this expression happening. I am aware that I am
watching myself do all of this. I don't know how many people are actively aware of observing what they
97
do. My sense is that it is few ... that this is enlightened behavior. How do I find others who are aware and
aware of being aware? Perhaps by sharing our experiences in this area, we can all become more. And
further, maybe we can find ways to work together to manifest whole new expressions of consciousness.
My sense is that many can do far more than any individual can do. And further, organized properly, many
might be able to do far more than the sum of what the individuals could do alone.

So, how do I find others with whom to share my life? In particular, I'm looking for kindred spirits ...
those who might be part of my spiritual family. If you feel something from this expression, and sense any
sort of connection ... please take the time to write and introduce yourself so that we can see where it might
lead. I am open to exploring what connections we might have and what endeavors we might work on
together. I may not have a lot of free time. But, the time that I do have is my own and I am free to do
what I will with much of it. Also, I am open to shifting the focus of my energies from what I do now to
something else that I find to be more in line with carrying out my mission. Here, any ideas you may have
as to what we can do together are welcome. I won't necessarily agree with all of them ... but I'm sure we
can find something cooperative to do if we remain open. Cooperative interdependence is the way of the
future. It is time that we start to make it the way of the now, too.

23 October 2003

We continue to come here to express. Day after day we come here, drawn by a force that we cannot
resist. This expression is of great importance to us. It defines us. It enables us to find out whom that we
are. Here is where we touch the magic. Here is where we creatively express in a manner that
demonstrates what we are capable of when we allow spirit to work through us. What more could we ask
for? We have been given so much. It is only fair that we find a way to use this in a manner that serves
others. Does this expression do that? That is an important question to ask. But, how am I to know the
answer. My sense is that there is much that has been expressed through me in the Beyond Imagination
material that is of utility to many. However, that is not based on any evidence that came from those who
were served or found the material useful. Thus far, I only know what the material has done for me and at
most a handful of others. And, even for these, I only know that they found particularly works worthy of
providing feedback. I am still amazed by how little feedback has come as a result of this expression. I
expected to impact far more people by now and in a way such that they would be moved to initiate
contact. But that has not occurred. Further, I have no way of know if it will occur soon or not. All that I
know is that if it is meant to be, it will be. I can be assured of that.

Does that mean that I should stop and reassess what has been expressed to date? No, I don't think that it
does. What has been expressed is what could be expressed. I have no regrets about that. In fact, I take
pride in both the quantity and quality of the expression to date. This is a stream of consciousness
expression. As such, it goes into things beyond what I know. That is OK, spirit joins us in this expression
and she knows far more about what she is doing than I do. That is a good thing. If it were up to me
alone, it is doubtful that any of this would have been expressed. Though, I would have had to do
something with my newfound awareness since 1993. And, writing is one of the things that I do best. It is
fitting that spirit would use this particular talent in this way. Further, I have been interested in the nature
of consciousness for some time. How else to better find out of this nature than directly through an
extensive stream of consciousness expression? What more can I say? Spirit knows how best to utilize all
of the resources that she is given. She doesn't take, however. She waits for us to volunteer our services.
To play in this game we must cooperate and volunteer to serve. These are high-level behaviors that many
do not appear ready to adopt. That is OK. We only need enough to keep the plan of spirit unfolding in
the world. Almost by definition, however many there are at any given time is enough. Those of us that
are aware have our parts to play in the grand spiritual drama that is unfolding. The changing of an Age is

98
a very important time. They only come every two millennia and only repeat every twenty five millennia.
That is way beyond anything that we have in our recorded history. So, there is no precedent for this
change from the Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age.

So, what is in store for the times immediately ahead? I ask that ... but I don't really expect an answer
other than what is revealed directly in the moment. My life is to be lived in the moment. Some people
are able to plan things, but that has never been my way. I need to seize the moment and do those things
that are mine to do as soon as I realize what they are. That can make for a challenging life. One never
really knows what to expect next. However, there is a sense of accomplishment in being able to achieve
what I have been able to achieve. No, it is not all that I can do yet ... or even the best that I can do. But, it
is good enough for the circumstances and the state that I am presently in. That doesn't mean that I can rest
on past achievements. Time marches ever onward, and with it comes the need to do things that matter,
things that make a difference in the lives of others and in the world. This doesn't happen by accident, it
happens by deliberate choice on our part. It is for us to choose what we will do. Note, I did not say plan
... though many need to do that as well. We create reality by what we choose to do, not what we plan to
do. In the end, it is what we do that makes the difference. So, what am I moved to do? First, I am moved
to express here as I do. Second, I await guidance from consciousness as to what to do next. I am ready to
act ... I just need to be moved. Hmm ... is that limiting my expression in some way. Do I need to wait to
be moved before I choose to take action? Is it not enough that I am an aware being and can therefore trust
what I know to be right for me to do? I haven't asked that question in that way before. Indeed, I can be
more spontaneous in how I live my life. That will give me the opportunity to meet different people than I
have to date ... in particular, the very people that I say that I want in my life.

How can I know this? I just do. There is something within me that know that this is how life works. It is
not something that I have been told or that I have read. It is something that I have realized. How many
things in my life are like this? How many things do I just know? Some might say that these are beliefs
that I hold. But, that is not how I experience them. I can play with my beliefs. I can believe them or not
believe them as I will and experience reality in accord with my choices. Knowingness is not like that. It
does not involve choice. That is not quite right, I can choose not to accept the knowingness and choose to
believe otherwise. This is not advised. But, it is a choice that we have. It is far better if we base our lives
and our choices on truth. There is plenty of room for beliefs in our life. We don't have to use them in
ways that are ineffective or counterproductive. How do we develop this inner knowingness? That, I don't
really know. This is something that I have had since I was a kid. It is something that I could always
count on. I don't remember having to do anything to develop it or to bring it out. It was just there. My
sense is that this sense is inside of each of us. We just need to connect to our inner self.

24 October 2003

Yesterday, something happened to my left foot. I got up from my chair in the late afternoon and it was so
painful that I could barely walk or limp as it were. I don't remember doing anything to sprain or
aggravate it. My chiropractor could not do much for it. He though that it might be gout. I guess decades
of poor eating habits have finally had their effect. The excessive weight doesn't help as well ... making
each step excruciating. I'm used to being in tolerably good health. Or I have been most of my life. Being
in pain is definitely not good for the soul. Though, it is fine as I sit here. I create my own reality ... that
includes my present condition. It seems that this is a wake up call from myself to myself to tell me that I
cannot continue to live as I have. That means new eating habits. No red meat, actually no meat at all for
awhile. That means that I need to find vegetarian alternatives to replace my current ways. That could be
tough, but it can't be as bad as barely being able to walk. Why did I need this in my life right now? This
is the second time my body has failed me in the past seven years, The first time I had an uncontrollable

99
cough that was so bad that I couldn't sleep for nearly a week. I didn't really know why I needed to
experience that either. Now, there are still chores that I need to do that require me to be mobile. I don't
know that I would call myself that at this time.

I was able to make it to the post office and send in five books to the Copyright Office. All of them were
already published. I had just been a little negligent in filling out the forms and sending the packages out.
That is OK. It can take up to a year for the process anyway ... so there was no real sense of urgency.

What next? Clearly, I need to do something about my health. Limping is definitely not how I picture
myself. How am I to soar in consciousness if I am imprisoned by such conditions in flesh? Physical
health is important to spiritual well being. While we are incarnate, we cannot escape being physical. Nor
is it desired that we do so. In consciousness, we are free to go where we will despite the restrictions of the
physical. However, there is something to be said about being in the body too. It is not an either/or
situation ... we can experience both. In fact, the health of the body leads to the health or the mind which
in turn enables spirit to express more fully through us. How do I heal myself. Given that I chose this
condition, surely there is a way out as well. I don't know enough about the body to know, at least not yet,
But, I can find out. My wife knows a lot about this area. I can enlist her help. The bottom line is
commitment to a lifestyle change. I don't know how long it will take or that to take effect. My hope is
soon. I don't really like pain ... especially intense pain. Putting close to 240 pounds on a sore foot is not
conducive to pain free living. There is nothing like illness to bring us back to living in the physical.

Enough of all the talk of pain and of the physical. We come here to soar as far as consciousness can take
us. We've been doing this for over ten years through a couple of small books, Notes, and now Musings.
One more week and we have completed 22 months of intense expression. That is definitely a record. In
fact, each day is a new record. We haven't missed a day yet this month. At our present rate of expression,
we are unlikely to do so. For the most part, I am in control of this. I choose to make time each day to
allow this expression to come forth. I don't judge it. I simple allow the stream of consciousness to go
where it will ... trusting in the process that what needs to be expressed will be expressed. To some degree,
it is out of my hands. Yet, from another perspective it is all coming forth through me. Because of this, I
have an active role in the process even though I am not consciously aware of what that might be. Spirit
knows what she is doing and gentle brings me along. In the process of experiencing this communication,
I become more aware of whom that I am and more aware of how spirit operates. You would think that
after ten years and literally several million words, I would have become an expert by now. But such is not
the case. Everyday, with every expression I learn more. Am I able to communicate what I learn? That is
a good question. Communication is a two way exchange. I haven't experienced doing much of this. It is
about time for that to change. I have a message which needs to be heard, which needs to be
communicated. Perhaps the millions of words expressed to date are not the appropriate format for that
message. I needed to see them and some number of people seem to be reaching them, but we don't really
have a succinct statement of what Beyond Imagination is all about. There are a variety of top level words
here and there ,,, but we could make it easier. The Beyond Imagination book comes closest to doing this.
It has been available at the Beyond Imagination site since the Summer of 1995. It is a major part of the
published book Beyond Imagination: The Early Works. It will be interesting to see if people are
moved to buy it.

Change ... it seems that massive change is on the immediate horizon. However, other than the things that
I've spoken of above that are self-chosen, I don't have any insight as to what is in store. Yet, I am anxious
anyway. I know that spirit is doing her thing behind the scenes and that the reality that I experience is
exactly what I need at this time. I may not know why or how ... but I trust that this is the case. It seems
that I have some work to do in the area of beliefs about the importance of the physical in our lives. For so
long, I have simply overlooked it ... considering it to be a poor stepchild to the spiritual. But, we are spirit

100
in flesh ... and we are enfleshed for a reason, primarily because that is the only way to be incarnate and
experience the great gift of physical life.

25 October 2003

Spent most of the day resting or sleeping to give my foot time to heal. It seems to be working. It is a lot
less painful than it was yesterday. But, I barely walked at all today ... just a brief distance to the dentist's
office and back from the closest parking spot. We'll see how it feels tomorrow before we decide to go to
the doctor or not. I don't like going if I don't have to. And, if the pain is gone I don't know what good the
doctor might do.

Today I was a vegetarian. I didn't have any meat at all. My chiropractor said to avoid red meat and pork.
That is a big shift in my diet. We'll see how long I can stick to it. However, usually if I set my mind,
heart, and soul on something ... it will be done. That has been my experience to date anyway. Back in the
Summer of 1993, I became a vegetarian for a few weeks during one of my periods of intense
mania/soaring. But eventually I came down and went back to my old ways. Will that be the same this
time? The difference is that this time a health problem is driving the change. The problem isn't going to
go away unless I do something. In this case, something pretty radical. That is OK, it is high time that I
invested some attention and energy towards my health. Until the foot recovers, exercise options are
somewhat limited. In fact, I don't offhand know of any. Yet there must be others who have experienced
similar problems, maybe not due to gout, but in some way hurting a foot or a leg. Surely there are
exercise machines that permit such people to exercise aerobically,

Cherry juice is supposed to be one of the best things for gout. I've had so much of it today that I nearly
drowned in it. The first large cup was good. However, by the third large cup it is starting to get old.
However, we do what we must. Anything beats the pain of walking that we experienced all day
yesterday. I still can't believe that it came on as suddenly as it did. I don't remember doing anything to
overly stretch or strain it. I just got up from my desk in the late afternoon and it was very sore making it
painful to walk. One would have thought that there might be some warning. Also, the pain was on the
outer middle part of the left foot, not typically a place you would expect to sprain. Also, that part of the
foot was hot to the touch, and I was running a fever. Those symptoms have receded today. Though I'm
still overly susceptible to temperature ... either too hot or too cold.

Why did I need to experience this now? It seems that it is a wake up call of sorts to do something about
my health and my physical life. I need to heed that call and do something. And, this time not something
temporary ... something permanent. Clearly I can do that. Of that, there is no doubt. I create my own
reality. I created this condition and I can overcome it. The thought of giving up so many foods that I love
is not pleasant. But, I've had forty-five years to eat them. That is enough. Besides, I may just come to
like these new foods even better. You might say that in this area I have been living out of harmony with
nature for several decades. One can only do that for so long before something breaks. Now, I've had two
major times where my mind broke and two times where my body broke. Each time before, I have
recovered ... though the mental breaks took quite awhile to fix. Perhaps we never really recover from
these, we make the best of our newfound awareness and go on. In my case, the jumps in the level of
awareness were large. However, it is not easy to explain them to those who have not experienced them.
And to those who have experienced them, no explanation is necessary. Awareness is a one way thing.
One is either aware of not. And, if you are, it is obvious. If you have to think about it ... you are not.
Awareness is not a mind thing, it is a consciousness thing. You have to go beyond mind to reach it.

101
Consciousness is everything. Consciousness is how spirit interfaces with us. We are consciousness in
flesh, first and foremost. It helps if we keep that in mind. I have said man times that this is primarily a
stream of consciousness expression. Even when personal stuff such as the above comes forth, I don't
really feel that I am generating it. There is something that I call source that I tap via my intuition, that
does all of this. Yes, it pulls details from my life at times. Generally that is for illustration. Since I live
such a solitary life, the only experiences she has to pull from are my own. For the most part, that means
that I cannot express something until I realize it ... until I make it real for me. Life is a process of
continually realizing more and more. However, it seems that many people are not really engaged in the
process. They have gotten stuck in their ways and have stopped growing. For me, to stop growing is to
die. You might think this to be true universally ... but it doesn't appear to be. There are many who are
happy to just enjoy life and be who they have become. We never know how long this will last. I spent 20
years preparing for a day of awakening and had no clue that such a day would even come. I concentrated
on the metaphysics that captivated my soul. But, I was doing it primarily in my head, even while I
recognized its truth in my heart. The mind is a useful tool but a poor master. We need to get our ultimate
directions from spirit.

26 October 2003

Another day of rest. Though I was able to walk enough to mow the lawn. It was a bit of a challenge, but
with few exceptions there was no pain involved. I guess that means that something is working. If it
really was gout, it could be the heavy dosage of cherry juice and two helpings of strawberries that made
such a miraculous difference. If it was a sprain, I don't understand how staying off it for one day could
make much difference. It seems that it would have taken much longer to heal.

I'm not quite back to normal, but I'm mobile anyway. Though stairs may be a challenge. I have stairs to
negotiate both at my place in Redondo Beach and at my work. I'll just have to take it slowly. Health is
definitely important. You never know how important until you are ailing in some manner. What is the
purpose of physical pain in our lives? What does it have to teach us? My sense is that it comes as a wake
up call that it is time to change our ways somehow. For me, I think that means moving to a primarily
vegetarian diet with occasional fish or white meat chicken/turkey thrown in ... say twice a week at most.
We'll see how I do on that and then decide what to do next. Sodas are out for good. That could be a bit of
a hardship, but I know they are not good for me. Perhaps its time to try water.

I don't consider these things limitations. I consider them adjustments in lifestyle that I need to make and
choose to make. My wife would say "it's about time". I've been avoiding doing anything in this area for
far too long. That is OK. Better now than never. And, it seems that the adjustments are noticeable very
quickly. This isn't something that I have to work at forever to see change manifest. This is especially true
since we are making relatively big adjustments. In response, we should see relatively big impacts
especially in terms of better health. We'll know it when we feel it. I've already gone over 48 hours
without meat. However, I'll probably get a BBQ chicken salad for dinner tonight. That doesn't qualify as
vegetarian. But, it has no red meat or pork either. Right now, I have no compelling reason to be wholly
vegetarian. Primarily vegetarian is good enough. There is something about the middle way. Nothing to
extremes. Then again, my life has not been that way. My bipolar condition takes me to extremes of
consciousness. And, I do love to soar. I've been doing it for over ten years now. That is quite a lot of
practice. It is enough time to get good at something. Perhaps not enough time to master it ... but often
good is good enough to use it. Mastership will come in due time if we are diligent in our practice.
Though, it is important that we are practicing the right things. That is where teachers come into the
picture. In the spiritual side of my life, I have not had any teachers other than consciousness herself. I
wonder why that is? I wonder why there have been no physical teachers. There is a saying in the East ...

102
"when the student is ready, the master will appear". Consciousness appeared in my life suddenly in 1993.
However, there have been no physical or nonphysical masters that took me on as a student. At least, none
that I am consciously aware of. I don't know what happens in my sleep, however, so who knows?
Perhaps such training is taking place on other than conscious levels of awareness.

It will be interesting to see what other changes these choices bring into my life. All that we can do is what
we are moved to do in the moment. But here we are talking big things, major lifestyle changes. We don't
typically make such changes, but when we do our lives change dramatically. Perhaps this will contribute
to being able to outreach more as well. With a new physical self-image, perhaps different personality
traits will surface as well. You never know until you see what happens. If I'm going to take Beyond
Imagination to the world, I need to be more outgoing. Sharing what has been expressed comes close, but
is not truly outgoing since I don't really interact with those with whom the information is shared. How do
I take the next step? How do I inform others that Beyond Imagination exists and has a body of works that
are worthy of their attention? My sense is that I did not bring forth all of this material and publish it in
books for nothing. I was moved to do this, moved by spirit. Yes, there is personal gain involved as well.
I want to earn my livelihood from the work that I do here. I thought books might be a way to allow me to
do that. It is still too early to tell. Thus far we have over $3600 invested and sales of $68. Along with
that we have 7 books displayed, 14 books in inventory, and we've sent 14 books to the Copyright Office.
The cost also includes one more book to be published giving us one more display copy and two more for
the Copyright Office. Hopefully, we'll start to see royalties come in when we get the next statement from
the publisher. We haven't done much to promote the Beyond Imagination books yet. We've added a
couple of new pages covering the published books and have pointers to the publishers site for people to
order the books. I have a promotion pack with a thousand business cards, five hundred postcards, and two
hundred and fifty bookmarks. But, it doesn't do much good if you don't know people to give them to.
The publisher just recently established a return policy for unsold books. This enables bookstores to buy
the books without fear of not being able to sell them. They will be able to return them for up to a year
from the purchase date.

What next? Enjoy the journey wherever it takes you. The journey is everything. There may be times
when we are focused on arriving at some destination. But the destination is just a point in time and
space. Most of our life is spent in transit, in the journey. Correspondingly, we should place most of our
attention there. Life is about being where we are. That doesn't mean we should neglect getting where we
would prefer to be. In fact, getting there requires taking action in the moment.

27 October 2003

I'm just about back to normal. I can still feel some pain in the foot if I step on it the wrong way. But,
overall I am pleased with the progress. I did go to the doctor today just to make sure. He pretty much
dismissed it being gout and he clearly did not believe much in chiropractics or in the idea that the half
gallon plus of cherry juice and several helpings of strawberries could have resulted in such a quick
recovery. Actually, he did say the area being inflamed and hot were symptoms of gout. However, those
symptoms were long gone, so he didn't really get to confirm them. It was easier for him to conclude that
the condition went away by itself. Either way, from my perspective it was a minor medical miracle.
Literally, within a day I went from being in great pain whenever we took a step with the left foot ... to
effectively being functional again. I did have to go get x-rays and bloodwork done, however. It will be
interesting to see whether there are high levels of uric acid present in the blood that would be indicative of
gout.

103
I wonder how many people experience such recoveries? It seems that it probably happens much more
than people might think. There is a reason we call the medical profession a practice. My experience of it
is that it is quite closed-minded. Even the x-ray technician had no respect for what a chiropractor
thought. On the other hand, my chiropractor is very open minded, and very thorough about figuring out
what the body and mind need to function more effectively. He is definitely more intuitive than most
doctors, yet he also uses his logical faculties.

So, where do we go from here? Lifestyle changes are still definitely in order. We don't need to have these
conditions return. That means no red meat, and a primarily vegetarian diet to the degree that we can
tolerate it. We may even find we like it after awhile. That's one of the funny things about changes ... it's
amazing what you can get used to. Also, it is time to get serious about weight loss. That means sticking
to roughly 1200 calories and 60 grams of carbs per day. Also, we need to introduce exercise back into the
daily regime. Perhaps it is best to start with walking. I can do that when I get home, perhaps even
walking to someplace for dinner and back. There are many places within a two mile round trip. We can
start slowly until the foot is fully recovered. That means that I won't have as much time to express here.
But, health is worth something ... and everything takes time especially if we want to do it right. Besides,
who knows what insights will come from this? This could have a highly positive impact on this
expression. Besides, if my health is better, I may not find it necessary to sleep so much ... thereby freeing
up time to do other things such as write. Also, in the end it doesn't really matter. There is always
sufficient time to do what needs to be done. That doesn't mean there is necessarily much excess, so we
need to be careful how we use it. The way that works for me is to do what I am moved to do, when I am
moved to do it. I trust that it is spirit herself doing the moving so that I can rest assured that what I am
moved to do is right for me. If you're going to follow a similar pattern, you need to establish a
connection with source, the link to spirit within you. The connection is there, inside of you. You may
need to be quiet, and seek awhile however. What we earnestly seek, we eventually find. That is one of
the laws of the universe.

There is something about the process of gravitating to ones destiny that is the same as the process of a star
gravitating to its place in the heavens. It just happens naturally. Though many may be surprised by what
their destiny actually is. What makes me think that I have mine correct? It just feels right to me.
Midwife to the birth of the Aquarian Age ... and building the foundations for a new world in which spirit
can express more fully in flesh. How does one do these things? These are not things that my formal
education taught me. My years of metaphysics have opened me to the idea that such a destiny, such life
tasks are mine to do. How do I get from where I am at to doing the things necessary to carry out my
mission? This expression does not seem to be enough. Yes, it is a lot. But, it is not yet reaching
sufficient people to bring about change. Further, the foundations for a new world appear to need to be
organizations of people committed to providing various services. We've addressed what some of these
might be. But, where do I find the others that I need to join me in manifesting this? Some things we
cannot do on our own. Some things require joint efforts to create them. The sooner that we realize this,
the sooner we can work toward achieving it. Personally, this is a big jump for me. I'm used to being able
to do things on my own ... or with spirits help. Working effectively within a group or organization will be
a challenge. Just being a group does not necessarily lead to increased productivity or utility of output. It
takes work to make this happen. It takes work to draw out the synergy that is present in group endeavors.
However, the potential is there. If we do it right, we can literally create magic. Intent is everything. We
need to go into our endeavors believing that collectively we can create great things. If fact, the only thing
stopping us is the limits that we impose on ourselves. We need to be careful about what limits we accept.
Further, we need to realize that there is nothing forcing us to accept them. We can be as free as we choose
to be.

It would help to turn this expression more into a communication. This would result in a stimulus or
trigger to drive further expression. Right now, it still comes out of thin air so to speak. When the stream
104
of consciousness stops ... the expression will stop. It is that simple. I don't really know how to create this
of my own. It comes forth from source within me. Nor do I know how long it will continue. Though, it
seems that it will do so for so long as consciousness has something to say through me. That could be
awhile. Perhaps even the rest of my life. We'll know when we see what unfolds in the years ahead. One
day at a time. We do this 365 times and a year will have past. And then 25 times that and we are getting
to where I anticipate my lifetime to end. It seems that after 25 years, I will be ready for a major
transition. I will have done what I could to carry out my mission. Something that Richard Bach said in
Illusions comes to mind ... something to the effect that the test for whether you have completed your
mission of not is - if you're alive, you haven't. Those of us who still exist still have things to do.

28 October 2003

Another three days and we will have made it through an entire month without missing a day of musing. It
has been awhile since that happened. Something almost always comes up during the month that takes us
away from this expression for at least a day. In fact, on average we miss one day out of every ten. That's
OK. We'll take whatever comes. If my counting is right, this makes 276 musings out of 301 days. Wow,
we've only missed 25 days of expression this year to date. I think that puts us on an even more prolific
pace that in 2002. It has definitely been one of those years for expression. And that doesn't address all
the book work that we did on the side, preparing eight Beyond Imagination books to be published. And
it's not over yet. We have more than two months remaining this year. There is still much to be done.
There is still much to be expressed. And, there is the whole issue of promoting what has been expressed
to date. This could easily be a full time job. The question is how do I make it that. The bottom line is
that when it is meant to be it will be. However, it seems that there should be choices that I could make to
help accelerate that. I create my own reality. Yet, I've sort of allowed this to occur via other that
conscious processes that I believed were more in tune with what needed to happen in my life than I was
consciously. To create your reality consciously you have to want to create something ... you have to be
heavily attached to a desired outcome. I've been reluctant to do that. I've been careful not to push my
way upon the world. The one primary exception is this expression. Though even here I share in a manner
that does not really push. It gives each individual the power to choose what they will consume. Further,
they have to seek the material to find it. This can be tough to do if you have no idea that such material as
this is even out there.

"Wayne Hartman" and "Beyond Imagination" each result in hits at or near the top in several major search
engines. But, you would already need to have been exposed to me or the material to know to search for
these. Similarly, some of the greetings, closures, and common phrases that I use result in hits. But, these
too are specific to the material and it is unlikely that people would be searching for them without prior
exposure as well.

Do I choose to create my life or do I choose to continue to allow spirit to do it for me? Either way, I am
fully responsible for what I experience. The difference is whether we resign our will to Thy Will or not.
Yet, at some point are we not evolved enough so that my will and Thy Will are one? At that point, why do
I force spirit to continue to do what I can do perfectly well on my own? It seems high time that I stood up
and did things for myself. That doesn't mean separating myself from spirit. I can still choose to allow her
to express and be a major force in my life. However, it seems that it is time for me to do things to effect
the changes that I want to make in the world. We don't have to be receptive all the time. We don't have to
accept whatever would be. We can choose to make a masterpiece of our lives and in the process inspire
others to do the same. That is what the role of 33: Master Teacher is all about. But we would also be 22:
Master Builder and 11: Spiritual Master. There are many roles that I came to play. And, I will play them
all before I am through. It is simply a matter of time, and a matter of destiny. We will ensure that we

105
carry out what we know to be our destiny. There is an inner strength that gets tapped that knows not
failure. It may not happen in as timely of a manner as we would like it to. But, we need to persevere
anyway. This is easier if we know that our success in this is certain. Though, that means having a
realistic expectation in this area. Not everyone has the skills to determine their purpose by themselves.
That is why there are practitioners of various intuitive disciplines available to help. The Beyond
Imagination book discusses some of these in the Know Thyself chapter. Each of us has our place in the
scheme of things. If we allow ourselves to, we will gravitate there naturally. However, it is also possible
to do things to accelerate the process. It all depends on what we choose to experience. There are many
ways to get to the same places. However, the corresponding paths to get to those places will be different
resulting in different journeys and different experiences.

It seems that it is time to design my life. I've allowed it to follow its own course for far too long. That's
OK. Over all the results are good. If I look at 1993 as the midpoint of my life (Age 35) ... then the
beginning decade of the second half of my life has been both productive and abundant. Oh, it could be
more abundant, much more. But, to be more productive, I either need to find more time to express ... or I
need to find other with whom to work in cooperative ways. One way or another, this requires major
changes to the way that I currently life my life. I'm open to either alternative, or to a combination of
both. The sense is that these changes are coming ... and that they are coming soon. Though, again that
may be because such is the outcome that I desire. I've learned to become wary of being attached to
outcomes. Things may or may turn out as we picture that they will. There are a lot of factors involved.
Sometimes, it seems that it is best to just leave it up to spirit. Yet, we are spirit enfleshed. As such, we
have spiritual powers of our own. These are there to be used, not neglected.

I'm doing well with keeping to my lifestyle changes. It is challenging ... but generally, once I decide on
something, I am good at sticking to it. I need to introduce exercise however. Though, I don't want to
push it with my sore foot. One step at a time. Light walking would probably be OK. I still don't like the
idea of giving of any writing time. But, I'm not fully using the time for writing anyway. I am still too
tired overall. Perhaps the exercise will perk me up so that I can more readily express here. Besides, the
walking would give me time to think in a way that I have not done for some time. The process of
expressing is very different from that of thinking. Consciousness expresses ... the mind thinks.
Consciousness knows, the mind only thinks that it knows. Consciousness is aware ... the mind is stuck in
its mechanicalness, unaware of the nature of spirit.

I'm finding it difficult to stay awake even though it is still relatively early at 9:30 PM. I am generally
awake until 11:00 PM and then listen to music for over half an hour to fall asleep. That makes it very
difficult to wake up at 6:30 AM. I'm used to getting at least eight hours of sleep. No wonder I'm having
problems staying awake. The numbers don't add up to the requisite amount of sleep right now. I should
try falling asleep closer to 10:00 PM and seeing how I feel in the morning. What better time to start than
now? That is the only place where we can make any change.

29 October 2003

The days continue to count down toward the end of another month. Two more months and we begin a
whole new year. But, that is the distant future at this point. A lot can happen in two months. That's 1/6 of
a year. Since we've done what we can to achieve our goals for the year, we are free to do what we want
with the remaining expression time this year. I have started Beyond Mind, and Spiritual Interpretation
of Numbers. But the only thing pushing me to work on these now is me. They were two low-hanging
fruit that I thought I could pick and finish relatively quickly ... perhaps even before the end of the year.
We have plenty of Beyond Imagination books out already. If it takes a few extra months to get another

106
one, no biggee. If we were seeing people order and read the entire set of books, that would be different.
But, as yet, I have no insight as to whether any sales are being made. Part of that is my fault. I'm not
doing much to solicit sales. And, what I am doing is definitely not aggressive. I much prefer the soft
sell. Let people choose to buy the books if they desire to. At the moment, I have an income that pays the
bills. I would like to shift the source of this income so that the work that I love to do pays for my
abundance. But, it seems that I am not in control of when that happens. I can only control what I choose
to do. Right now, I choose to express what consciousness would have me express. I do that because I can
and because I feel that at some level I must. This does not counteract freedom of choice. Rather, it is a
sensing of what is the best choice for me at this time.

The past week has been relatively light for musings. The opportunity was there to express more, but the
desire was not. Perhaps I'm reaching another breakpoint ... another radical shift in my way of being.
These happen every now and then. They shock the system but at the same time they bring in whole new
energies to be expressed. If I keep on my present course, I will have completed the three books that I
have announced as planned for 2004 by the end of January which will result in publishing by April. That
means that one month into 2004, everything is wide open. I can literally do anything for the rest of the
year. It will be interesting to see what I am moved to do. 2002 was the first year of near daily musings.
2003 continued that and added the publishing of eight Beyond Imagination books. At this point, it is not
clear what 2004 will bring. Though, there is a strong sense that it will be very different than what has
come before. In some respects, I can't wait. Yet, I know that I need to wrap up what I have done this
year. I'm close, but I'm not done yet. It is all a matter of focus and putting in the time on this expression.

Hmm ... I just got a sense that included a strong shiver in my neck and head, 2004 is to be about finding
my place in the world. That feels right. It seems that it is about time for this. This expression can only
go on for so long in this manner. At some point it needs to explode to start impacting everything that I
do. It seems that we are reaching that point. Even at work, my office is half devoted to work and half the
result of Beyond Imagination impinging on all aspects of my life. I have 21 quotes on 8.5 x 11 sheets
hanging on the wall. I have seven Beyond Imagination books displayed on my credenza. There are
stacks of printed musings and other writings. Yes, it only seems appropriate that I spend some time to
find my place in the world. I'm sure that I will be surprised at what I find. However, we don't find
anything unless we go looking for it. It seems that I have about two to three months to prepare to go
looking. I'm excited by that. I'm ready to engage in a new direction. It is time for me to interact with the
world. At this point, it doesn't seem to matter how. There will be many opportunities. I just need to
watch for them and jump on them when they come up. Writing has made a tremendous difference in my
life. Similarly, publishing the Beyond Imagination books has made a big difference as well. However,
neither of these seem to have made a big difference to others, at least so far as I can tell. However, I don't
necessarily have the insight to know just what impact the posted writings and the books are having. All
that I know is that I was strongly moved to to publish the Beyond Imagination material this year. Whether
that was out of the ego desire to be a published author ... or just a natural spiritual direction does not seen
to matter. The result will be eight published books in 2003. If I had done nothing else, that would have
been a major achievement, especially since all of the words for two of the books, each nearly 600 pages,
were generated this year.

It seems that there should be a way to know what impact we are having on the world. Otherwise, how do
we know what changes to make in our approach and our expression? One way is to allow spirit latitude
here. We can allow her to guide us as to where we need to be and what we need to do. Further, we can
change our expectations. We can choose to live in a world that provides the feedback we need to be able
to see our impact directly. Such a world already exists. We don't even have to create it. We only need to
choose to live in it. However, what we expect from the world we need to be willing to give in kind. It is
our actions after all that collectively create the feedback within this world. Spirit works through us. That

107
is the only way she can manifest anything in the physical. It is up to us to be receptive to what she would
express through us, and then to do it. Yes, Nike's slogan is appropriate "Just Do It!".

Received an e-mail announcing that my 7th book was officially published today. I've been waiting for it
to happen for over a week and thought something might be wrong. That leaves one to go. I should see
the proof copy in two to three more weeks. That should leave plenty of time to get it published before
Christmas. For the most part, it is out of my hands. At most, I'll take a week to review the format for any
errors and submit my list of corrections. The rest of the time is all the publishers. It takes roughly 3
months from start to finish. The final book for the year was sent to the publisher on 12 September. So,
the target date is around 15 December. Actually, this one should be easier since it is a Vol II. No new
cover design is required. It all depends on the publishers workload, however. I've done nearly all that I
can do. The final step is a quick review.

What would I do next? What do I want to do in the twenty-five years that I believe to be the rest of my
life? What would I do differently? How would I express differently? What is missing from my life. The
single thing that comes to mind is relationships. I have a rich spiritual life, expressing a stream of
consciousness for hours per day. But, I have almost no social life. Most of that is due to the choices that I
have made. I haven't really developed any social skills. I get along OK with people in general. But, it
has not been my preference to be with people. It seems that it is time for that to change. Carrying out my
mission requires the interaction with many in very close and deep ways. I can't do that if I remain aloof
and stick to my hermit nature. This is a major change for me. But it is one that I am willing to make
because I know that it is required. I know what I have experienced to date. And, I know that there is a
key element missing. It is not hard to see what this is given how isolated from others I have been for all
of my life. Not long ago, I had a difficult time even identifying five people who really knew me enough
to cover the past 15 years. I am not one to keep friendships and remain in contact with people one I move
on to a new location. Also, I can see how people would have a difficult time getting to know me. They
can see how I work. But, seeing who I am is a very different thing. You have only to step in my office to
know that. I am not your average engineer ... or your average person. In fact, I take pride in being
extraordinary. Then, for me anyway, it seems to work. My overall productivity far exceeds that of most
people and in many cases that of several people. OK, that is a personal assessment. But, I believe it to be
accurate. At 45, I already have seven published books that come to a total of over 2000 pages. The total
expression to date exceeds three million words. Nearly one million of those have been generated in the
past two years. We've had over 600 musings during that time of an average of 1600 words per musing.
That comes to 960,000 words. Given that we are dealing with round numbers, that is pretty close to a
million.

$1 per word. That is the going rate for this expression. It will be interesting to see how the universe
provides for this. I am doing my part. I am expressing what consciousness would have me express, and I
am doing it in a way that is freely shared. The sense is that by doing this voluntarily, I am effectively
putting money in the bank that secures my future. In this case, it is effort. However, the laws of
compensation say that each action will be compensated in accord with its worth. Unfortunately, there is
no place I can send my daily output of words along with a word count and get paid for it. Perhaps some
day. But that is not the way the current economy is set up. So instead we generate and publish books.
The sales of the books provide a means for the universe, for the collective, to pay for our services. The
end of October royalty checks will reflect sales through the end of August. I have no clue as to what to
expect. I don't know how many people would be moved to buy the Beyond Imagination books from the
few references to them at the Beyond Imagination site. Best Passages from 2002 Musings was available
for the entire month and The Early Works from the 7th of August on. Well, we shall see soon enough.
Hopefully, we will have seen some sales during that period. In September, three more books were
released: 2003 Musings - Vol I on the 4th, and Best of Notes - Books 1 and 2 on the 25th. One area
where we have been negligent is announcing what we have done to the world. I must get half a dozen e-
108
mails a week from companies that specialize in promoting books. With seven published books, perhaps it
is time to bite the bullet and pay the $250 to see whether it works or not. The sense is that I won't know
unless I do it. One thing that this company offers is an interview with the authors. I read a few of them.
It's a nice touch. Somehow, I need to make people aware that I exist and that the Beyond Imagination
books exist. This may just do the trick. Or, it is one avenue anyway.

30 October 2003

The streak continues. We're 30 for 30 for the month. That is quite an achievement. You try writing for 2-
3 hours every day for a month. Tomorrow marks the halfway point for the material for 2003 Musings -
Vol III. The time keeps flying by. It's amazing how fast the weeks go by. Yet through it all, I am much
the same. I need feedback and interaction with others to provide a mirror for what I am doing. It is not
enough that all of this impacts me. I need to see how it impacts others. Perhaps with such knowledge, I
can find ways to express even better. My life is meant to have world import in some way. To do that, it
needs to impact people ... and not just a few people. Why is this so important to me? Why is it that my
life has to make such a difference? Why can't I live as others live, and be content with enjoying the
pleasure of life? What can I say? That is just not my way. I know that I came specifically to perform a
mission ... a mission that it is my very destiny to carry out. This is a huge responsibility. But, I am not
one to shirk responsibilities ... and definitely not on account of their size.

What makes me think that I can do what I know that I must do? I have spent 30 years learning of and
developing my gifts and talents. I believe that I am finally ready to employ them earnestly toward the
endeavor of creating the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh. That
is one of the prime missions for Beyond Imagination. It happens to be a personal mission for me as well.
To date, I am Beyond Imagination ... consciousness and me anyway. What makes me think that I can do
this? I have a high opinion of myself and my abilities - some might say excessively high, even
grandiose. However, being grandiose does not necessarily make it wrong. Besides, someone has to do it.
If not me, who? I see that it needs to be done and I believe that I have the abilities to do it ... that is
enough for me. I don't need someone to direct what I must do. I can perfectly well decide that for myself,
though my preference is to rely on spirit for guidance. Interesting. How does this fly in the context of
relationships with others? Will I be willing to take my directions from others? My natural tendency is to
lead, not to follow. I am the type to figure out what needs to be done and whom might best do the various
things that need to be done. Though, my lifelong isolation has kept me from having much to do with
directing resources. Will that change? My sense is that yes, it will. We aren't given talents without being
given the opportunity to use and apply them. It is only a matter of time as to when the opportunities will
come. That means it is very important to do the self-work necessary to know who we are and to develop
our talents as much as we can.

The typical way of developing talents is through practice. One of my talents is writing ... in particular,
bringing forth stream of consciousness expression. For 22 months, I have been "practicing" nearly
everyday for 2 to 3 hours. That is a lot of practice time to commit. However, it is more than practice. In
this case, we have captured a record of what has been expressed and we have made that record available
on the WWW. In addition, we have been publishing portions of that record at a time. For 2002, we had
one book that was a selection of the best passages for the year. For 2003, we have the complete works in
three volumes. When we started trying to select best passages for 2003 we found that it was much more
difficult than it had been in 2002. So, it made sense to keep the material intact. Also, it provides a more
complete portrayal of the quantity and quality of what was expressed this year.

109
Are the results of "practice sessions" worth sharing? My answer would be a resounding yes! ...
Especially since we are speaking of the stuff of spirit and consciousness. In particular, I am a wayshower,
not a performer. A performer practices to ensure that the performance is of the highest quality.
However, for a wayshower, practice is more a form of exploration. In my case it is exploration into the
domain of the unknowns of consciousness. My challenge is to attempt to convey what I find to others in
ways that are useful. They don't have to be perfect. And, they may need to be different for different types
of people. How do I know what I find is important to others? Good question. It is so important to me
that I just naturally assumed that there are others to whom it would be important as well. How important
and to how many others remains to be seen. However, in many respects it doesn't really matter. I will do
what I am moved by spirit to do to the best of my abilities. How the universe responds to what is
expressed through me is out of my hands for the most part. I can observe the response and decide what to
do next to try to achieve a different response. But that comes across as being overly manipulative to me.
I would prefer to focus on being the best that I can be. That means being the best conveyance for the
expression of spirit in flesh through me.

The Beyond Imagination quote for today is interesting:

The freedom of belief is far more powerful than the freedom of speech.

We are free to belief whatsoever we choose. It helps if our beliefs are of utility and empower us. But,
that is something we must choose for ourselves. We are always free to do this. We are far more powerful
than most of us know. This is especially true if we've taken the time to establish a relationship with the
spiritual source that drives us. Many are unaware that such a source even exists. Further, it "drives us"
only if we allow it to do so. Without our agreement, we make its job much harder. It does what it can to
provide us with the conditions for our highest growth. But, it can't do it all for us. However, we can
choose to allow it to work through us and even express through us. If we have the courage to make this
choice, we will find that our life works better. We are more in sync with our own nature. And, spirit
working through us can do far more than we can do alone.

How can I know this? It is not something that I have been told. I don't think I would have believed it that
way. This was something I had to experience firsthand. It took major mental breaks for me to achieve
awareness. I don't know if I can help make the process easier for others or not. This growing mountain of
words attempts to do that. But it is not clear that any amount of words will be sufficient. Perhaps this is
something you just have to experience. At least, you get a different perspective that you can read prior to
your experience that attempts to describe things. This is one thing that I didn't have. I was forced to deal
with very strange states of mind and states of consciousness with no real preparation for what I was
experiencing. Oh, I had 20 years of metaphysical training. Yes, it helped and in the end probably enabled
me to survive intact. However, there was nothing that specifically addressed what I was to experience.
For instance, I had no basis for knowing that I would not be able to count on the functioning of my mind.
Having lived most of my life mentally, this was a huge shock. But spirit is not a mental phenomena.
Awareness is not a mental process. We can be aware of the functioning of our mental faculties.
Awareness is above and beyond this. It lies in a different dimension ... a spiritual dimension.

There is a sense of urgency. There is something that I need to do now. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm
sure that it will come to me. It seems that I am at a crossroads again. We reach another 7 year point at the
job in two weeks. Though, we have only lived at our present home for 6 of those 7 years. It took a year
to sell our previous house in Monterey. This year, we have put into play the forces that can lead to our
liberation. However, it isn't likely to happen overnight. Not unless we can convince someone that what I
can do for them is worth far more than my present employer pays me. Unfortunately, I have no clue as to
where to go to find such a person or organization. Though, I haven't thought in these terms for very long
... with the exception of thinking about a personal benefactor. I've heard of such people existing. And, it's
110
not like I'm asking for a handout. I expect to deliver, and deliver a lot for whatever income I am given.
And, until I find the right situation ... or until the Beyond Imagination books start selling in sufficient
numbers to meet my financial needs; there is always my present job. I can do it as long as is necessary.
But, there is a strong feeling that something is missing. The satisfaction is just not there. Staying focused
for 40 hours per week is becoming more and more difficult. Much of this is because I know that there is
so much more that I could be doing. The job is only tapping a part of my abilities. However, I just got a
new boss. So, the potential is there for this to be remedied. Perhaps, with the right emphasis we can
make the job both more challenging and more fun. I'm missing that element. The fun just isn't there.

At one time golf was a major part of my life ... taking 6-7 hours per weekend, and sometimes that long on
two days. I loved it. Further, I was good at it ... basically a bogie golfer averaging 88-92 on most rounds.
Golf is the only game I know of where a 250 yard drive counts the same as a one inch tap in. For me, golf
was a training ground for the imagination and the intuition. It takes trust to hit a golf ball consistently ...
especially for the once per week golfers. Visualization was crucial to imagine how a shot would fly.
Intuition was required in choosing the right club to get the ball close to the hole. Both visualization and
intuition were required to "read" the green when putting. I remember in 1993 thinking that every sport,
every activity was providing training for skills that would somehow be needed at some time. Professional
golfers were developing particular parts of their bodies and brains to excel at specific tasks. The mass
consciousness was learning from all of this activity. In fact, the mass consciousness learns from
everything that any individual learns. Further, it is not limited to conscious learning. It knows what is
happening subconsciously and superconsciously as well. Actually, we need to reconsider our views of
individuals. They are not the distinct entities that many believe. Rather, we are more like parts of the
body. We have fingers, hands, wrists, arms, elbows, shoulders, torsos, necks, heads, ears, eyes, a nose, a
mouth, legs, feet, ankles, toes. In addition, we have all of the internal organs. Individuals are as different
as all of these parts. Yet, they are parts of the same one body, the one consciousness that animates us all.
It is interesting that fingers side by side on one hand might consider themselves to be brethren but bear no
known relationship to their counterparts on the other hand even though many of their aspects are
identical. Introverts probably correspond to the internal organs. Extroverts deal directly with the world as
does the outer part of the body. Introverts experience things very differently. They rely far more on
intuition and inner feelings to guide their actions. They have a direct knowingness, a wisdom that comes
from being connected to a source within.

31 October 2003

We did it! 31 for 31 ... an entire month of daily musings. That happened a few times in 2002. I don't
remember earlier streaks this year. Why October? Who knows? We do what we are moved to do when
we are moved to do it. While the energy is right for musing, we muse. What causes us to miss days here
and there is still a mystery. All that I know is that it happens. On average, one out of every ten days we
miss a musing. Often these missed days occur consecutively. I don't feel bad about it. That still gives us
around 330 musings a year totaling around half a million words. Not too shabby for a part time
endeavor! How much more could I express if we made this full time? I don't really know. I can see
putting in six solid hours of writing per day. But, I can't see much beyond that being effective. Besides,
who would read 1.5-2.0 million words of new expression from me each year? I would read it. But, who
else would do so? Surely this is not all being done for me alone.

We had a pleasant surprise from the publisher awaiting us last night. Book eight for the year ... 2003
Musings - Vol II had arrived for my final proofing and approval. There were a couple of minor errors on
the back cover which I asked to be corrected. With those exceptions, I approved the book today. If all

111
goes right, we should see it formally published by Thanksgiving, not Christmas ... over three weeks
earlier than originally expected.

The royalty check from the publisher didn't arrive yet. I'm anxious to see if there were any sales of Best
Passages in August. The only way I have to get any insight into sales is through the publishers
accounting forms. They should be here any day now. I'm curious as to what the universe is going to do
now that I've done my part and published the Beyond Imagination books. Perhaps a lot, perhaps nothing.
Probably something in between. It is not yet clear what my role will be in promoting the books now that
they've been published. Here, it seems that I need to do something as well. Who better to promote the
works than the one through whom they came. Note, I did not say the one who created them. While I am
the author, there is definitely a force greater than I am that contributed to all of this. This expression
would not have been possible without consciousness herself being there to express through me.

I'm getting nearly 200 hits per month to my main page. If five percent buy a book, that would be ten book
sales in a month. "Don't quit your day job". At that rate it will take years to pay back the cost of
publishing and this was relatively minimal. So, what do I need to do to get the word out? How do we get
people to visit Beyond Imagination? We offer thousands of pages of metaphysical expression for free.
There are no ads and no commercials. There is just the stream of consciousness expression that we have
been moved to create since our spiritual awakening in 1993. How do we invite people to our world?
And, how do we get them to choose to be part of creating a community? Yes, that is one of my toughest
challenges. How does a loner engage the world ... and do so in a big way? If I had a little part to play,
things might be much simpler. But, I chose a grand role ... or, I believe I did anyway. And, I would do
what it takes to play that role. Yes, whatever it takes. I am committed. Hmm ... it seems that such is
exactly what it will take to make people aware of Beyond Imagination. I have shown that such is my
intent. I have made nearly all of the expression available at the Beyond Imagination site. I did this with
the idea that the line from Field of Dreams was accurate:

If you build it, they will come.

It seems that this wasn't quite correct, at least not as correct as I had hoped. By now I would have
expected we would have had far more visitors than we have had. Also, I would expect at least a linear
growth curve if not a nonlinear one. But, that has not happened. For whatever reason, the main page at
the Beyond Imagination site logs about 2000 hits per year. That comes to nearly seven per day. Further,
this has been pretty constant for over 8 years. Given how many people are interested in spirituality or
metaphysical / new age topics that is literally a drop in the bucket. We clearly are not reaching very many
folks. Hmm ... how do we reach more people? You would think free information would be enticing
enough ... especially a lot of it. However, how do we make people aware that we even exist and have
such information? We are not really talking about advertising. Though if people like what they find, it
would be nice if they purchased some of the Beyond Imagination books. However, that is a choice for
them to make. They will have seen much of the material in the books so they will know exactly what they
are getting. We are talking about introducing, announcing, promoting and the like. When we have
something valuable to share it is worth the effort to make others aware by whatever means are available.
This is different than selling ... this is sharing. Hopefully, we can enlist those who find the Beyond
Imagination expression of value to further share the good news with others. Alone, there are so many
people that I can touch. But if those I touch in turn touch others who touch others ... the numbers can
grow very quickly. If you are reading this and find this expression to be of value, please share of its
existence with those you know who might benefit as well.

Sharing. That's what it's all about. Sharing what we know. Sharing who we are. We may thing that we
retain power by hoarding information and keeping things secret. But, those who are truly powerful know
that the key is to freely share. Something magnificent happens when we do this. The force of spirit
112
moves through us to create wonders. Our lives start to mean something significant. We realize that we
are far more than we ever knew ourselves to be. That is because we are far more than that. In fact, we
are far more than we can even imagine. As spirit in flesh, we are wise beyond all years. We just need to
get in touch with our innate wisdom. We can do that. We can live a life of spirit. It is not difficult to do.
However, it takes dedication and discipline. We have to want to do it. We have to be willing to make
choices consistent with living such a life. One such choice is to be the best that we can be at all times.
We know when we are doing this. We cannot fool ourselves.

1 November 2003

Wow! The start of a new month. It will be interesting to see what it brings. As we come closer to the end
of the year, the sense is even stronger that more of the same is not in the cards for 2004. I don't know
what is in store, but my sense is that I will be pleased by it. It seems that we will finally start to reach
significant numbers of people in meaningful ways. Perhaps we already are and just don't know it. Next
year, it seems that we will know it. Why should that be? March 5, 2004 will mark the 11th anniversary of
the birth of this expression. 11 is a master number. So, perhaps that is appropriate. But that is still over
four months away. We are not meant to plan that far ahead. One thing this expression has taught me is to
take things one day at a time and trust that if we take care of the moment properly, then the future will
take care of itself. It is amazing how much creativity can be unleashed in the moment. Further, it is
amazing what we can do if we just do it. Too many people have excuses for not taking action ... for not
expressing themselves ... for not being all that they can be. However, this is a choice that we make in the
moment. Further, we can only make it in the moment. The difference we make in our lives and in the
world happens because of what we choose to do ... not because of what we choose to think or even
believe. These later two are not enough. We must be willing to take action in accord with what we
believe. That is what confirms that we are serious. Otherwise, we are only paying lip service. As a
wayshower, it is extremely important that I live as I believe. I need to demonstrate a consistency in my
life that is beyond other men. You might say that I hold myself accountable to a higher standard than
most. And, indeed I do. This was not something imposed on me from the outside as I grew up. I always
knew that I was different and that what applied to me did not necessarily apply to others. That has made
for an interesting life. I don't know if my experiences were easier or more difficult than others. I had
very few others to compare them to. I know that one of my sisters and my brother have had far more
difficult lives than I have. My sister was diagnosed as bipolar after I asked her to get tested after my
diagnosis in 1993. She had been suffering with the symptoms since the mid-70's ... over 18 years without
any help. My brother was diagnosed with some serious mental disorders as well after attempting to take
his own life. It seems that mental illness runs in the family. We have it in at least four generations that
we know of. Though, for me this is not an illness. The mania allows me to soar. I still experience all of
this as a spiritual awakening on a grand scale. It doesn't matter whether others see it that way or not. In
particular, the doctors seem to still be in the dark. Though, I did give my psychiatrist a copy of my first
book last week. It will be interesting to see how she reacts to what she reads. That is one way to
"advertise". I can give out copies of my books to people. Though, I don't know that many people. Most
of those I am acquainted with are at work ... and I don't know enough about them for the most part to
know if they would even be interested. That is a sad state of affairs. It seems that it is time that we
remedy this. However, it takes an investment of time. Am I willing to make that investment? Right now,
I'm not sure. Perhaps that is part of the problem. Relationships require investments of time in people.
This is time that I currently spend in other ways. Is it worth it to change?

I would hope that the answer would be yes. Being alone most of the time is not necessarily the best way
to live ones life. Then again, I'm a solitary person ... a hermit by nature. Or, am I? What I have
experienced to date is not necessarily what I am, especially since fear issues have been involved.

113
Interesting. So, what do I want to do? How do I want to express? How do I want to live? How do I
want to work? It is up to me to define these things. Until I decide, I will not know what changes and
corrections need to be made. We decide these things. They are not thrust on us by circumstance. We
create the circumstances that we face in life. We bring them into our lives primarily by what we believe.
I was going to say choose to believe but it is not clear that this is a conscious process of choice for many.
That does not change the reality. Even if other than conscious parts of us are doing it ... it is still us
choosing. Further, we are responsible for those choices. We create our own reality. We do it both
consciously and other than consciously. It has been thus forever. We are spirit expressing in flesh, spirit
having a physical experience. There is a purpose for this. There is something being gained by all of this
expression. The purpose is spiritual however; and many, including most of those involved in science, do
not relate. That is OK. Things will change in due time. We live in a spiritual world. More and more this
will become apparent, so much so that even scientist and engineers won't be able to ignore it. How can I
know this? I don't really know why this expression comes forth as it does. Much of it is in the
declarative. There is no rationale or proof offered for what is expressed. It is assumed that the veracity is
obvious and will strike a chord within you. I know that it does that for me. It didn't take long before I
stopped questioning what came forth. This, despite the fact that it is sometimes wrong. However, this is
generally for things that I have a desire for a particular outcome and areas where time to manifestation is
involved. It seems that the things that I want to happen in the world take far longer than I would hope and
expect. In some cases years longer ... many years. The bottom line is that it is not for me to set that
timing. That is for spirit to define. It will naturally be unveiled over time. What I can do is be as
productive as I can within the overall plan that spirit is revealing. The past two years have been
particularly productive ... this year in a more outward way. Publishing books is an extroverted action. I
don't yet do many of these. However it seems that this is starting to change. Promoting books is quite
extroverted as well. You have to put yourself out there and interact. It seems that I am ready. I've done
my homework long enough. It's time to take the test if you will.

2 November 2003

The streak continues into another month. It was a very busy day working on the house. We're putting a
wood floor in another bedroom. It's a lot of work, but it does look good. When this room is done we only
have two small rooms left to have completely done the whole house. My foot is starting to bother me
again. It seems that I was too active for it today. Oh well. It can rest again this week. Enough for the
mundane chatter. What would we have to say that is profound today? What would we say that is worth
the cost of admission as they say? With this stream of consciousness format, we never really know what
is coming next. At any moment something magnificent might come forth. But clearly, it does no do so all
of the time. It is not clear that we could keep up with it if it did. There are many things that others have
already said, but we would be original. I like to make sure that in each musing there is at least one new
quotable passage and preferably many each day. We can only ensure that be expressing until such words
come forth. They will. We have over ten years of experience of this to confirm it. Consciousness does
indeed come through and she is an original character. There is nothing like her as far as I can tell.

I would be whom that I am and no other. I would do as I am moved by spirit to do when she so moves
me. I have chosen to live a live of spirit. This choice is of my own free will. Also, I can't imagine living
life in any other way. Then again, what is right for me may or may not be of utility to you. That you will
have to judge for yourself. You can't expect to be told everything. You have a brain. Some things you are
meant to figure out yourself. Consciousness doesn't tell us everything. It seems that some things we have
no need to know. And consciousness definitely doesn't do everything for us ... though there is a lot that
she can express through us if we allow her to. We are the instruments through which consciousness
expresses. It helps to be the grandest instrument that we can be. Then again, I tend to be a wee bit

114
grandiose at time. OK, a lot grandiose. There is nothing wrong with that if you are able to deliver. So far
we have been successful beyond imagination. Then again, success in my eyes may not be the same as
success in yours. And, in this area there is no impartial assessment to apply.

Do something to make a positive difference in others lives and in the world. Find a way to make a
difference. In the long run that is ultimately what counts. When we have long since returned dust to dust
... it will be the differences that we have made that will remain. Some of these will remain only in the
minds and hearts of those we touch. But others will be recorded as historic events. Do I see what I do in
that light? Not yet, but perhaps someday. Right now, I am content to do what I am moved to do. That
includes giving consciousness this time to express on a near daily basis. Are there others that do what I
do? Not that I am aware of ... at least not in the same manner. I find it difficult to believe that I could be
so unique and alone in how I express. My way of life has allowed me to read over 1000 metaphysical
books. To date, I have not found anything that I would consider to be like what I express. That is OK.
Perhaps that means this expression has a place in the world. There is some reason that it comes forth as it
does. There is some reason that I was moved to publish much of the work. I'm still anxious to see
whether the books have started to sell. Though, whether they have or not, I still stand by my decision to
publish them. If they are meant to sell ... they will. I just need to do what I can to facilitate getting the
word out. The books stand on their own.

I've been a bit negligent regarding Beyond Mind. I haven't really worked on it in several weeks. Time
has a way of getting away from me if I allow it to. For part of that time, it was a struggle to complete the
daily musing. I didn't feel like putting in the extra time to do more. Part of that came from a need for
sleep and part from a need for entertainment. Even I can't work all of the time, try though I might. At
some point, enough is enough. We have to accept that. Though, most of us will find what we are capable
is far more than we believed possible. We are grand beings. We need to realize that and act as if we truly
believed it. Too many of us limit who we are and what we express as a result. However, all of these
limits are self-imposed. We can choose to change such limits. But, we need to recognize that we have
accepted such limits to begin with. What we don't realize, we can't change. Beliefs are our springboards
to a new life if only we use them as such. They are powerful tools for reality creation. I needed to hear
that now. What beliefs do I need to adopt to bring me to a new life? It seems that the key area is the role
of people in my life. The right people are critical to carrying out my mission. There are kindred spirits
that my life is meant to touch. We will work together to accomplish great things. It is not that they will
necessarily join in carrying out my mission; rather we will assist one another in carrying out each others
mission.

3 November 2003

Another day, another musing. It will be interesting to see how long this lasts. Though, I have a personal
trip for a day on Friday and a business trip for a few days later this month that might keep me from
expressing. That is OK. There are other things that I can do with my time to promote Beyond
Imagination. One of my coworkers was asking about a short introduction or primer to the Beyond
Imagination expression. He thought many people might be pushed away by the sheer volume of
material. Five of our eight books are over 500 pages. The other three are 280, 350, and 450 pages.
Overall, we have over 2800 pages of material. That is a lot. Do I really expect people to read that much?
I don't really know what I expect. When the expression came forth, there was no audience in mind. Even
when I was packaging it into books, there still was no audience in mind. There was simply a
knowingness that this was something that I had to do. I am grateful for having done it. There is a great
sense of accomplishments to see the line of eight books displayed on the credenza in my office. To know
I did all of that ... yes, with spirits help of course. But, all of that came through me!

115
It is also interesting that the covers by date of material in each book are in spectrum order starting with
dark blue/purple, then blues, the greens, then yellow, then red/orange, and ending with reddish brown. It
is curious that my internet service provider since I generated the Beyond Imagination site eight years ago
is Redshift. The book covers suggest just that, a redshift ... a shift to red, a shift to the heart. Interesting.
That sent shivers through my head, shoulders and upper body. That is usually a strong sign that I've
encountered a deep spiritual truth.

What next? Given what has been expressed and accomplished in the past two years, what would I do
next? I still have at least three books to do for 2004 and I'll definitely do the introduction to Beyond
Imagination even sooner than that. I need it to be able to promote the Beyond Imagination site and the
Beyond Imagination books effectively. It is amazing how legitimate needs can drive us to do whatever it
takes to fill them. For many, it seems that they don't even have to be legitimate needs. Any needs are
capable of making people do things that they believe will satisfy the need. It doesn't even matter if
satisfaction occurs. The belief that it does, or even that it could, is often enough. This can result in people
doing many harmful things, both harmful to themselves and to others. Drugs are a particular case in point
that can do grave damage. How do we make peoples lives better so that they don't have to resort to such
substances? I believe that is something that we can do and that we should do. The social infrastructure
needs to reform into something supportive that enables people to be all that they can be and that
encourages them to express fully for the good of themselves and others. Some might argue that it already
permits this. There is already the opportunity to rise and be all that we can be. Unfortunately, this does
not seem true for many. Yes, some are able to rise and lead abundant lives. However, there are many that
do not do this. One could argue that they are not applying themselves. But, here is where I believe that
the social infrastructure should help. It should help pick up those who have fallen for whatever reason
and help put them on the track that is right for them. To do that, we need to treat people as the unique
individuals that they are and take advantage of their unique gifts and talents. When we do so, we will find
that society works better as well ... because the collective useful productivity is increased. We need to
measure our actions and policies as a society by what they do to the collective as well as to individuals.

I finally heard back from the site that promotes books and publishers. I am seriously considering signing
up for their services. It is another $250 out of pocket ... but at this point promotion is far more important
than generating additional books. I need to make people aware of the Beyond Imagination site and books,
in that order. If I expose people to the expression, they can decide on their own whether they want to
purchase it or not. The expression is meant to reach people ... I know it. And, if it reaches them, it will
move them. Yes, I am confident about this. I trust that since the material moves me, its quality is such
that it will move others. The limited feedback that I have received to date indicates that this is so. The
material has reached some people and made a meaningful difference in their lives. Surely, there are more
who could be impacted positively. The expression exists. It is available on the internet and in books. It is
a matter of attracting those who are meant to find it to it. We could leave this to chance, but that does not
seem to be an effective way to do things. That leaves promoting. What do we want to do in this area?
How personally involved do we want to get? At this point, it seems that we can turn this into something
fun. We have a reason for engaging others.

I spent a little time generating a brief introduction to Beyond Imagination. It provides information about
me, about Beyond Imagination, about the Vision, about the expression and the books, and a representative
sample of quotes. It comes to about 4.5 pages, a good size for promotional material. It's substantial, but
not overpowering. It is something easy to print and reproduce. It was actually fun putting it together. It
required a different kind of creativity than used for this expression. We need to spice things up on
occasion. We do that by changing our habitual patterns of expression. In this case, that was triggered
from an external suggestion. Though, I didn't know that I was going to satisfy it in one day. And, my
initial thought was that a dozen pages was the target length. I'm happy with what I put together however.
I needed something like this. It is unlike anything that I have done before. I have it both in a web page
116
format and a Word document. The later prints much better. It is interesting. Major section breaks
happened to occur at page boundaries. It is as if the format was destined to be this way somehow. Why
should that surprise me? Things like that happen all of the time. In many ways, it seems that my life is
about destiny unfolding. It just happens. I just allow it to happen. Consciousness continues to express
and create as she will ... and I am ever amazed.

Why me? Why is all of this expressed through me? Clearly, it must be because I am able and willing to
do it. Yet, what will come of it? What impact will all of this expression have on anything? Will I live
long enough to see it? The sense is that the impact will be felt soon. Then again, soon is relative and
many things that I thought would happen soon back in 1993 still haven't manifested. The saying don't
hold your breath comes to mind. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter. It will happen when it
happens. It is not for me to focus on outcomes. Those are in spirits hands. I can only do what I am
moved to do when I am moved to do it.

4 November 2003

Two plus thirty-one plus four brings us to 37 straight musings and counting. It is good to be in the midst
of a streak. It says there is something important about the continuity of expression. Thursday is going to
be difficult, however. I just don't see how there will be enough time in the day to write. But, we'll see
what unfolds. Where there is a will, there is a way. If the streak is meant to continue, there will indeed be
a way. I just have to allow for it to happen. Friday might be just as difficult as well if we go out of town.
Oh well ... it was a good run while it lasted. There is always longhand expression. It is more
challenging. But, it is a possibility.

The new introduction page came out pretty good if I have to say so myself. One comment I got back
was that the first paragraph is too personal and might scare people off. It was suggested to take a more
clinical approach to the introduction ... focusing on the fact that I am a professional with information to
share based on research and personal experience. I'm finding it a bit difficult to think in those terms, but I
think the feedback was good and had a solid basis in introducing the teachings of the Mormon Church to
newcomers. He said it typically took four to five sessions before people were prepared to get into the
teachings of the church. Are my writings any different? Do we need to introduce people to them slowly?
Perhaps we do. Though, of late it seems that exposure to the material is picking up. It is at least twice
what it was a year ago, perhaps significantly more. Also, it is not clear why the index page is getting
more hits than the main page. Oh well, it is what it is. We are happy to be reaching more folks in any
event. Though the numbers are still relatively low. We're talking ten hits per page per day. That is
nothing compared to what it could be. But it is a start. And, it beats 3-5 hits per page per day. I only
have counters on four pages. There is no way to tell what the overall traffic at the site is. For that, I
would need a different kind of account and would have to move too many pages. In many cases, I
hardwired the links so moving the site would take significant work. There must be over 800 files (pages)
at the Beyond Imagination site.

So, what am I going to do? Am I going to change the introduction to reflect the feedback received? Part
of me is reluctant to do that. What makes me unique and different is how freely and openly I share
information that many might consider too personal. I do it as an example of the level of sharing that I
would like to see in society. In many respects, it is part of whom that I am. Yet, on the other hand, is it
necessary to get into that in the very first paragraph of an introduction? Perhaps that is a bit too much.
There are many other places at the site that already address this. Is there a different way that I would
express who I am and what I have done over the past decade? In particular, a way that focuses on what
value that has for the prospective reader? That seems to be what we are looking for. Hmm ... it all

117
depends on who I am trying to reach. It seems that I should keep this as wide open as I can. Once people
are introduced to the Beyond Imagination material, they can decide what value it has in their lives.
However, if we don't lead people to the material ... how can they experience it? Clearly that is part of my
responsibility. As the generator of the expression it is my job to see that it gets to whom it is meant to
touch. That requires doing things different than I have done. That's OK. I'm ready to do some new and
different things.

How do I reach more people? What do I need to do to open this up by orders of magnitude? Am I ready
for the increase in correspondence that this will bring into my life? Yes, I believe that I am ready.
Further, I believe this is what I am meant to do. This is part of my mission, part of my destiny. In many
respects, I have no choice but to do it. At least, I would not choose otherwise. Choice and free will are
interesting phenomena. It seems that the further that we go on the spiritual path, the more automatic our
choices become. We find there is only one right choice for us and that that choice is obvious. Yes, we
could choose not to do it ... but that would only bring added turmoil into our life. It is easier to go with
the flow and do what spirit has laid out for us. Actually, we are creating our own reality, so we have a big
role in laying out these choices as well. Doing what is right should be natural. It is not even something
that one has to think about. We just do it. Unfortunately, many do not seem to be evolved enough and
aware enough to do this yet. All in good time. I don't consider this to be a restriction of my freedom in
any way. I simply apply my freedom in other areas of my life. Even this expression is destined. It is a
stream of consciousness that I have no real control over. About the most I can do is turn it on and off by
giving it time in my life. Occasionally, I do things to influence the flow but I'm not completely sure of
how that occurs or when it will occur. Part of it seems to be driven by things that I have on my mind.
But, I'm not really in control of those either. The bottom line is that the expression is a mystery, and will
probably always remain so. I can live with that. Mysteries are good. They humble us. They leave us in
awe of the power of spirit operating in our lives and our world.

Oh, if only I could do this fulltime. I just need to figure out how to earn my living doing so. All in good
time. You are not meant to be locked in an office without windows forever. You will be free of this. You
can count on that. As to when ... when the time is right. We know, you would prefer that this would be
now. However, you need to allow things to unfold naturally. That doesn't mean that you don't need to do
your part. In fact, you have a major role to play in manifesting your own destiny. But, you already know
that. You've known it for some time. But, the time is drawing near. Finally, after all these years we stand
on the threshold of a dream, the threshold of massive changes.

How much of this can I believe? Yes, it comes forth through me. But, how can I know that it is correct?
My sense is that it is as correct as I can bring forth at this moment. No, that does not make it absolutely
correct. However, there aren't a whole lot of absolutes in life. We do the best we can with whatever we
are able to express. That is all that can be expected of us ... to do our best. Spirit demands no more and
no less. Though, she is lenient even when we don't live up to our own highest standards. Forgiveness is a
major part of her way. It needs to be a major part of our way as well. After all, if spirit does not need to
judge ... what right have we to do so? Acceptance and allowance are very important. We need to accept
people for who they are and we need to allow them to be whom that they are. It is not our place to change
them. Though, we can offer guidance as we share of whom that we are. Sharing is extremely important.
It allows us to learn from one another and benefit from each others experience. We are all going through
this collective experience of living together. It doesn't matter how separate or individual we experience
things. At some level, we melt into the collective from which we were spawned. We always remain
intricately linked into the collective. Sometimes we are even consciously aware of the connection.
Usually, it is a transcendental type of experience. We are aware of ourselves to be far more than we ever
were before. Unfortunately, this experience doesn't usually last very long. Brief moments seem to be all
that we get. But these are the times when we are literally touched by spirit.

118
5 November 2003

The count continues to grow. Though, in many ways it does not matter. We muse when we can muse.
Sometimes that happens for long consecutive strings of days ... sometimes it doesn't. Whatever gets
expressed is what is meant to be expressed. I have no reason or need to second guess it. I've been doing
this long enough to know that spirit is in command here. She determines what will flow and how it will
flow. Yes, she uses my faculties to do this. However, this is not forced upon me in any way. I freely
choose to participate. I volunteer to serve in this particular way. It would help to know more about who
is served by this expression and how. Feedback is highly important but seldom provided for the things
that we do ... especially the most important things. It seems that is just the way that life is. No, it doesn't
have to be that way. We, collectively, could choose to make it different. But that means taking
responsibility and taking action.

I'm listening to some tapes by Ram Dass on Spiritual Awakening. I was amazed at how much of what he
said I understood even though our paths have been so different. Ram Dass has been exposed to many of
the best spiritual teachers on the planet. I have been self-taught ... experiencing awakening firsthand
without the help of anyone to guide me through the process. Yet, the reality we encountered was quite
similar ... the oneness amidst the separation. Perhaps in another 15 years, I will be comfortable enough to
speak as he does to an audience. But then, he's been doing this for 40 years. It is part of his nature. It
does not seem to be a part of mine. I have other things to do with my life. Though to be a wayshower, I
have to demonstrate and share my way with others. However, even there I have to do it my own way. I
would not live my life as others live theirs. I am a unique manifestation of the one, of consciousness
herself. I would be true to whom that I AM. That means doing the things that I know that I came to do.
It doesn't matter whether others are doing similar things or not. I know what it is that I must do. At some
level, I know. Lately, that involves living in the moment and doing what I am moved to do when I am
moved to do it. Spirit herself is doing the moving ... so I know that the actions that result are indeed the
correct ones for me at this time. It takes courage to live in this way and faith. We are ever risking losing
ourself. But that is not such an awful thing to lose. For, it is only through losing our self that we find our
greater Self.

Another benefit from the Ram Dass tapes is the realization that I am not alone. There are others, many
others, that have had spiritual awakening experiences. Clearly Ram Dass is one of these. It is not clear
how many that he is speaking to have had such experiences as well. Though, I would guess the
percentage would be fairly high because of the self-selected nature of the group and the subject of the
talks. It would be nice to be able to compare experiences ... not to measure one against another, but to see
the spectrum of experiences and some of the similarities and differences. Operating alone for so long, this
is one perspective that is desperately missing. Will it be filled anytime soon? I can always hope. The
bottom line is that it will be filled in when it needs to be filled in, not until. There is no forcing anything
to happen. Spirit doesn't work that way. And, that doesn't seem to work for me either. The preferred way
is to allow things to unfold in our life. Spirit will determine what "things" are right. We don't have to do
that consciously. Though there are people who are planners ... who prefer to plan what will happen and
when and then align their actions in accord with their plans. That is one way to live. However, that is
clearly not the only way. And, it is definitely not my way. We need to watch against anything that is
considered to be the way rather than a way.

Where do we go to share? ... to share our experiences? ... to share our knowingness? ... to share our
awareness? ... to share whom that we are? After all, that is what living is ultimately all about ...
sharing! It is not what we possess that counts. It is what we give, especially of ourselves. One of the
most important things in life is to live in a manner that makes a positive difference to others. These others

119
may be family, friends, coworkers, or even strangers. It doesn't matter. What matters is that we make a
positive difference. Then, we can say our live was truly worth something. It was not just about me and
getting what I want. Though many still live such selfish lives. However, this is starting to change, albeit
slowly. The Aquarian Age is about the WE generation. This is an inclusive plural focus where the
collective good is given its due consideration in our actions. However, while the shift has occurred for
some of us ... it has not occurred on a massive scale yet. It will. The transition of the age is soon to be.

Yesterday's Beyond Imagination Quote for the Day was particularly good:

To create a masterpiece of our lives,


we must work with the paints of beliefs.

These are the building blocks that result


in everything that we see and experience.

Sometimes I am just blown away by what is expressed here. How could such beauty flow forth?
Actually, I can probably find at least one such quote for every day of expression. However, sometimes
the words are just more special than at other times.

Each day brings its own special grace. There is a sense that my life is orchestrated now, in a way that it
has never been before. Only, it does not seem to be me that is the conductor or director. I am playing a
role that I chose to play. This includes evolving to carrying out a mission that is mine to carry out. How
do I do this? How do I create/attract the circumstances necessary to carry out my mission. Do I even
need to do so ... or will it simply manifest because it is destined to? Can it be that easy? It can if we
allow it to be. I was talking to someone about the economics of doing a seminar. It seems that with as
few as 20 people at $200 per day per person, a seminar could be quite profitable. How many days could I
engage an audience? I think I could easily fill between a weekend and four days. Though, I need to come
up with some exercises that bring some of the points home. 20 people x 2 days x $200 = $8000. I only
need to do 20 seminars to replace my present income and benefits. There is nothing to limit this to 20
people. We could just as easily speak to a group of 40 or 50. Though, there is some benefit in starting
small. The environment would be more intimate and we could get into some one on one, small group, and
question & answer time. I don't have all the answers. No one does. But, we can probably come up with
something workable with our collective experience. So, what do we need to do to manifest something
like this? We can't tell how successful we'll be until we attempt to do it. First, it seems we need some
credibility. Eight published books gives me that. I need enough people to be exposed to the Beyond
Imagination material so that a reasonable number would desire to have contact with me personally. We're
not talking thousands here. We're talking 20 people at a time for a two day commitment, and that could
even be done on a weekend. Yes, this is definitely worth pursuing. We may need to give some free talks
to expose people to the Beyond Imagination expression as it comes through us. But, that is OK.
Whatever it takes.

I need to design a lifestyle that is fun. I am tired of being bored. It is time to create a masterpiece of my
life. How can I be a wayshower unless I do this? How can I expect others to create masterpieces of their
lives unless I show them that it is indeed possible? That is part of why I am here. This is one area where
I have control. It is all a matter of adopting the right beliefs. The bottom line is that I can do anything I
set my heart and mind on. This rules out a lot of things because either my heart or my mind is not
committed to them. However, this leaves all those things that truly matter.

6 November 2003

120
I haven't done this for awhile. It is 5:00 AM. I just couldn't sleep any longer. So, we'll get our musing in
for the day even before we head to work. I've been going to bed about an hour earlier than normal so that
I can get to work a little earlier. But, this was unexpected. In fact, I was a little concerned that I might not
even be able to muse today. But, here we are, at 39 straight and counting ... with no end immediately in
sight. There is something right about doing this. I have found my place somehow. Though, more and
more, expressing alone is not enough. I am moved to reach people and to impact them in a meaningful
way. I have a strong need to make a difference in peoples lives and on a larger scale to the whole world.
Yes, this is grandiose of me. I know that. However, that doesn't change what I believe that I am destined
to do. I have accepted that I am subject to a fate that I would not fight or deny. My way is one of
acceptance of why I am here ... and then being resigned to do it willingly. How many people can say that
at 45? ... or even ever in the course of their lives?

The days continue to march on one after another. And, as they do my life unfolds step by step. I am not
given to see the overall plan except in the most general of terms. As a result, I live my life one step at a
time. After each step, it becomes apparent what the next step will be. My path is made up of the series of
steps that I take. Rarely do I ever have to back up and take a different path. In fact, I don't remember the
last time that was necessary. Though I have done some things that seem to have gone nowhere. However,
there was never enough feedback to know what the real impact was. I can feel myself becoming more
open and willing to take risks associated with that. That comes from a deep faith in spirit and the fact that
I know that it is spirit expressing through me now. My life is primarily about the expression of spirit in
flesh. That is to the degree that one who has effectively isolated himself from society can so express.
That doesn't seem to stop this expression from occurring. In fact, it seems to enable it. Though, what
works for me may or may not work for others. Most are far more sociable than I am and need society in
their life. My sense is that I do as well ... but, it just hasn't been there to date.

What makes me go on so? What makes me continue to express day after day, month after month, even
year after year? The bottom line is that there is something that consciousness would express through me.
I have to believe that this is for a purpose, that there is an intended audience for all of this. At this point, it
does not matter that I know not who that might be. Such will be revealed in time. Hopefully that time is
to come soon. But, whether it does or not seems to be out of my hands. Fate. I strongly believe that
there is a destiny for each of us and that fate will take us to that destiny one way or another. It helps if we
cooperate. But, we will get there even if we choose to fight it. It is always easier to go with the flow.
But, that is a choice that is for us to make ourselves. We just have to live with such choices. Then again,
it is not clear that such "choices" are really choices at all. How do we not know that we are not making
the choices that we are destined to make. As we make them, it feels like we have options and alternatives
... but do we really have them? My sense is that there is no way for us to know one way or the other.
What does believing in free will and freedom of choice buy us then? Does it empower us in anyway? Or,
does it restrict us? There is a saying:

None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.

It conveys a great truth. If we are going to believe that we are free, we need to be very careful that we are
not deceiving ourselves. We need to be sure that we are not enslaving ourselves by our beliefs. This is
true for beliefs in general, not just those regarding our freedom. Beliefs are the garden through which we
grow our reality. The filter what we see and what we experience. Many people have not tended to their
gardens hence they have extensive weeds. Unfortunately, unlike with our gardens at home ... we can't hire
someone to pull the weeds. This is something that we must do ourself or it simply won't be done.
However, we are not likely to do it if we are unaware that it even needs to be done. This is one area
where the education system has failed us, if my experience is indicative anyway. In 21 plus years of
formal education through a Masters degree, never once do I remember beliefs and belief systems being
addressed. Reality creation was never mentioned either. Yet, in metaphysics ... the fact that we create our
121
own reality through our beliefs is nearly self-evident. How can one domain of life understand this
implicitly while another domain ignores it completely? It just doesn't make any sense. Yet, it seems that
more and more people are becoming dissatisfied with the status quo. They are reaching out for something
more wherever they can find it. And, these days that is not so hard to do. The intuitive disciplines offer
much help. They don't have all of the answers and they aren't repeatable and "scientific", but that doesn't
really matter. They have utility ... that is all that matters. And, their cost is quite reasonable for what they
provide.

What would I do next? That is ever on my mind. What is the next opportunity to explore? What is the
next step on my path? How do I expand this expression so that it has more impact ... both in terms of
impact on those it already touches and by touching more people? I believe strongly in what I am doing
and what I am expressing. Ultimately, I believe this will have world import. Though, I don't know how
long that might take. I would prefer to see it in my lifetime ... but that may or may not be in spirit's plan
and it is ultimately this plan that I serve. Yes, I would serve spirit directly. She commands my interest
and my attention. Her will is my will. It has been for some time. In fact, I realized this over ten years
ago during the first awakening experience.

Awareness is an illusive quality. It is something that we must pay attention to or we lose sight of it.
Sometimes it can be difficult getting it back. It helps to learn and develop techniques that get us beyond
the limits of our mind and our ego. When we get good, we can be aware whenever we choose to ... and to
some degree, remain aware at all times.

7 November 2003

This makes 40 days straight and counting. This is turning into a significant streak. Though it is a long
way from the record set last year. If memory serves me, it was something like 83 days. I don't care to go
back and count to confirm. I believe there were three streaks of more than 50 days in 2002. This year we
will probably end up with as many musings, but they were broken up more often. That is OK. What
comes through comes through when it can. I consider the 330 musing mark for the year highly
successful. This is by far the most productive part of my life. And, hopefully it will eventually reach
others and move them.

The royalty statement arrived. The only sales were the 12 copies of The Early Works that I bought.
That is not a good sign. I was hoping for more. I thought that our books published pages would move
some people to buy our works. Though, I'm the first to admit that I'm no salesman. Even when I believe
in something ... I am reluctant to push it on others. I would rather have them decide freely what they
would do. Oh well, that was August sales. We'll see what September brings. Though it does seem to be
time to consider other ways to promote Beyond Imagination. One step at a time. This year seems to have
been about getting material published. Perhaps next year will be a year of outreach. It is about time.
This has been a solitary effort for far too long.

Do I know enough to speak and conduct seminars? Can I really do that? It all starts with having a pool of
people that are potential conference participants. I had thought this would come from people who were
exposed to the Beyond Imagination site or the Beyond Imagination books. However, many people have
time to take a seminar but not necessarily time to read. Or, they simply do not relate as well to the written
word. How do we reach them? Or do we? Can we focus on those who relate to the written word? That
is the form this expression has taken to date. And, that is the form that I am most comfortable with. But
what does comfort have to do with this? Life is about stretching beyond our comfort zones to do things
greater than we thought possible for us. What we have done is not enough. There is always more than we

122
can do. This will be true so long as we are alive. There is no resting on what we have accomplished.
There is always the next thing on our path, whatever that might be. That doesn't mean that we can't stop
and enjoy the process. In fact, we should do so often. However, as we do this we need to stay true to
whom that we are. That means doing what we are moved by spirit to do. That may be a stretch for those
who don't acknowledge a spiritual reality. However, if you are reading this, I'll assume that doesn't apply
to you. My path is a spiritual path, but it is not a religious one. Neither is it based on any standard
spiritual training. For some reason, I was meant to find my own path through the wilderness of spirit.
Hopefully, you'll find what I've experienced and what I've learned to be of value to your life. I am a
wayshower. But I can only show the way to where I have been. Over the past ten years, this has been to
some strange and interesting places ... primarily states of mind. This expression is my way of sharing
where I have been. It captures a stream of consciousness. Part of this seems to be mine, but the greater
part of this seems to come from spirit herself. I hear a voice in my head. Is that voice from me? ... or is
it spirit calling within me? Either way, it flows naturally from the center of my being. I didn't
consciously choose to begin this expression. It just started coming forth in March 1993. On the first of
January 2002, it got put into high gear. We've had near daily expressions for 2-3 hours since then. Yes,
we are into our 23rd consecutive month already. That's a lot of expression!

I keep hoping that someone will find me. That someone will realize the importance of what I am doing
and choose to fund me in doing it. A benefactor of sorts. However, right now it is just wishful thinking.
I'm not doing anything about it. I'm not packaging the material in such a manner to be able to sell it to
someone or some group. The movie Contact comes to mind with Ellie going around to various
organizations to get a sponsor for her Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence work. I haven't really
defined what my work is and what services it will provide to whom. Then again, what can one expect
from one who is 45 and doing all of this on the side? I need to find a way to make my life's work my
fulltime work. The only constraint is that I make enough to cover my needs and to allow for the work of
Beyond Imagination to be carried out. What I'm really asking for is abundance. This is more than the
"there is always enough" condition that I am used to. Enough can be comfortable. But, to do great things
in the world we need to come from a mindset and a reality of abundance.

The bottom line seems to be that I need to find myself. And further, that I need to be my own benefactor.
There are things that I can do that can generate income ... substantial amounts of it. My current job is a
guideline. The Air Force pays my employer close to 2.5 times what I make per year. If I could make the
full amount my services bring, I would be far more abundant. Further, if I could do that doing the things
that I am highly motivated to do ... the things that I love; I would be far more productive so the value of
my services should be even more. But, how do we manifest this? What do I need to do to provide
services that are of great value to people? I have no doubt that I can do this. It is just a matter of when
and how. And, it seems that when the time is right, I will know how. Yet, I'm anxious to make the time
right now. It seems like it is within my power to do that. It seems that my destiny is literally within my
hands now. Perhaps it always has been. But, there is something different now, something special
somehow. I can feel it. I am ready to take my rightful place in the world. I have been hiding out in caves
of my own making for far too long. Though, this did have its benefits. It got me to where I am now ...
ready to embark on a whole new phase of my life.

8 November 2003

I'm weary this evening. We spent five hours working on putting in a wood floor in one of the bedrooms
of the house. We still have another 2-3 hours to go to finish the bathroom floor. But that's tomorrow's
project. Now, we are here engaged in this musing. I'm anxious to see what comes forth. Then again, that
is no different than most days. This expression is always a surprise. I never know what to expect from

123
one paragraph or even one sentence to the next. That is OK. That is what makes it a stream of
consciousness. But why is my stream of consciousness worthy of being captured in this manner. Why do
I feel the need to record it, to make it available on the WWW, and to publish it in books? It just seems to
be the right thing to do. It doesn't matter that feedback to date has been limited. It doesn't matter than
relatively few people have been exposed to the material. There is a sense that this is to change
dramatically very soon. However, I don't know what has to happen for the change to manifest. It seems
that there is something that I need to do that I have not yet done. I trust that whatever it is, I will be
moved to do it when the time is right. That is how my life works. I do what I am moved to do when I am
moved to do it. I believe that it is spirit herself that moves me. This has been true much of my life, but
especially over the past decade. How does my life differ from than of others? Except for this expression,
I am a very quiet person. I don't speak much. I don't interact with others much. I never really have. Yes,
that makes for a solitary existence and sometime a boring one. It seems the lack of interaction while
chosen, is also a prison of sorts. I am confined to a cell of my own making. But, there is hope. Realizing
this, I can choose for it to be different. I can choose to start interacting with people. However, I don't
want to interact just to interact. There needs to be meaning or it is not worth the effort to me. Yet how do
we know what meaning might be there until we make the effort to begin with? Relationships are built
slowly over time. Friendships are special types of relationships that are even more rare.

What would I do next? Those five words ever haunt me. It is not what we would think next, or what we
would believe next ... it is what we would do next that is important. Clearly, I am here musing right now
... so that is what I am moved to do. That seems to be true every time I am moved to ask the question.
This year still seems to be about musing on a regular basis. That makes nearly two full years in a row ...
over 22 months straight to date. There is a sense that 2004 holds something new in store. I can't wait to
see what that is. But, it is less than 2 months away, so we shall see soon enough. In the meantime, there
is plenty to do to finish out the year. I would like to see three more books completed by the end of
January. That will require some focused work ... but I believe that I'm up to it. I like setting challenges
for myself to meet. That is as close to goal setting as I get.

Outreach. It seems that it is time to reach out and extend the awareness of Beyond Imagination far
beyond what it has been to date. How do I do that? How do I inform people ... lots of people; that
Beyond Imagination exists and has something to offer to them? And further, it does so for free. All that
we ask is that people abide by the principle never take more than you give. That means people need to
find ways to serve others that provide fair value for what they receive here. That is not asking much.
Living by this principle is how we manifest abundance. There is always a surplus generated. The more
people that abide by this, the more the overall surplus, and the better the standard of living for everyone.
This is such a simple thing. However, we need to find the place within us that knows when we have given
enough. This is spiritual law, after all. Intuitively, we know when we have done our part.

If my count is right, we are working on our fourth million words. That is in 10 years and 8 months. That
is a lot of words. Why so many? Why isn't the expression more succinct and to the point? I don't really
know. It is what it is. I don't question it. Nor do I control it. I allow it to be what it will ... trusting that
there is a purpose for all of this and that my time is not wasted engaged in doing this for as long as I do it.
Actually, it isn't a waste because it gives my life a sense of purpose. There is something that I am doing
nearly every day that has the potential to make a difference in peoples lives. What I offer is to show what
an aware consciousness is capable of. This expression is the key part of that. Here, I allow people to
walk in my consciousness for awhile. Actually for a long while, the equivalent of 2-3 hours per day.
Though it takes far less time to read this expression than it takes to produce it. It would be nice to know
how many people were reading the daily musings. If I had to guess, I would say it was less than a dozen
... perhaps even no more than a handful. Yet, this is where the creative thrust is happening each day.

124
9 November 2003

So much for another 2-3 hours. It took over 7 hours to finish the wood floor today. But it does look
good. I guess that is what counts. However, I am beat. I'm not used to spending that much time on my
feet. At work, I am sitting in front of a computer most of the time. There is definitely something to be
said for mental labor. For one thing, it pays better. However, spiritual labor should pay even better.
However, to date, I have not seen this happen. Perhaps it is because I haven't figured out how to translate
what I do here into specific services that would benefit individuals. Do I need to do that? Or does spirit
have something else in mind for my abilities and talents? My sense is that I am not like other people ...
that my way is to be different as well. Do what you are moved to do when you are moved to do it. That
is the standing directive for my life. It has been for some time ... but consciously so for over a decade.
So, what am I moved to do next? The musings continue, but the sense is not for much longer. I need to
use the time to do other things ... things that I don't even know what they are yet. I believe they involve
relationships with others in some way. That means I'm going to have to find others with whom to relate
and develop some communication skills that are presently lacking. I can write. But, that is not the same
as relating to someone else. Practice. That is all it takes to become good at anything. That doesn't mean
that one will become a master or a virtuoso. That requires appropriate skills and talents. But, we can all
become good at many things with practice.

The musing is going slower than normal today. That happens sometimes. Perhaps it is because I am so
tired tonight. Had a close call on the commute home. I was doing about 75 in the carpool lane when all
of a sudden there was a black SUV sideways blocking the entire lane. I was able to hit the brakes and
stop. But had another 10 seconds gone by before I saw it, I might have plowed right into it. That is just
not something you expect to see in front of you. It definitely woke me up and caused the heart to race a
bit.

How do I change my ways? How do I become more outgoing? The answer that comes is "just do it".
You already know how. This is not something that you have to think or reason about. Being outgoing is
natural behavior for everyone unless it is blocked for some reason. Remove the blocks and you release
yourself to operate in new ways that are just as natural as your current ones. You can do it. There are
many who have done it before you and there will be even more to do it after you. You've taken the first
steps. This communication is an outreach of sorts, a bearing of your soul. However, it is different doing
it anonymously than live and in person. Then again, we'll see on Tuesday ... that is if any one shows up to
the lunchtime talk on Metaphysics - An Introduction to Wayne's World. It may not be much, but it's a
start. Speaking to groups of people is one way to introduce them to me and my world, including Beyond
Imagination.

Abundance is the compensation for spiritual work. Here we are talking about abundance on physical,
emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. Even after ten years, I haven't seen that kick in yet ... not
completely anyway. Perhaps I expect too much; but I don't think so. In the meantime, I continue to do
the work that I am moved to do. The primary spiritual work is capturing this stream of consciousness
expression. There is something about it. I know that this is what I am meant to be doing right now. Once
the time for capturing is over, we can move on to the next phase whatever that might be. It seems that the
end of 2003, the beginning of 2004 is the transition point once again. We've had two solid years of
musing for a total of close to one million words. Now, it seems time to start doing more with less. We've
shown that we can generate volumes of works. But, that is not enough. We need something that can
really touch people deeply. Some of the expression to date can do that. However, it seems that we need
to make it even easier. Pulling together material that could be used in a seminar might be a place to start.
We've talked about doing seminars before. That would be an excellent way of disseminating the Beyond
Imagination expression and earning a decent income doing it. Further, it is something I can picture
myself doing. It may take awhile to get my speaking legs. But, we are talking about speaking about my
125
passion, the Beyond Imagination expression. How long can it take? ... especially with a benign
audience?

Once again, we've stuck to it and allowed the expression to unfold as it will. When we do that, it is just a
matter of time before we get our daily quota of expression in. Today, that is going to be the 1000 word
mark. It is already late, and work starts all too early in the morning. That is OK. What comes forth,
comes forth. There is no need to force or to push it. I have no doubt there will be enough words for a
sizeable 2003 Musings - Vol III. I can tell by everything that has been expressed since 1 September.
We're nearly 2.5 months into the final 4 month expression period. Right now, it seems the musings will
continue at least through the end of the year. That's only another 50 or so days.

10 November 2003

We did it! Eight books officially published in 2003. And, we're still over two weeks from Thanksgiving.
That is a remarkable achievement if I have to say so myself. But, once I started just over seven months
ago, I knew that I could do it. It was just a matter of time and effort; both of which were under my
control. And, we're not talking about small books. Half of the works are close to or exceed 600 pages.
The other books are 280, 350, 450, and 520 pages. Definitely not bad for a year's work ... and this is only
a part time job for me. But, it is one that I love and thoroughly enjoy. Though, it doesn't hurt to see the
display of books grow in size from month to month and to see your name on the cover. There is
something special about being an author ... especially for one whose forte is the written word. It will be
interesting to see if we can transform some of the wisdom and the enthusiasm into the spoken word as
well. That seems to be what 2004 may be about. However, we won't know for sure until we get there. At
the pace of things, it will be here soon enough. We have enough to keep us busy through the next two to
three months at least. From there, everything is in the air. I am open to change ... even major changes on
multiple fronts in my life. But will I do what it takes to make the changes manifest? Or, will they
manifest regardless of what I do? It could be that my actions just change the nature of what I interpret,
not what I experience.

How does that fly with the idea that we create our own reality? I don't see any contradiction. What
happens, happens. The meaning that we assign to it determines how we experience it. Some people see
the exact same challenges as blessings or curses. It is all a matter of perspective. Though, it seems that
there is another part of our reality that we do control more directly. We do it primarily through our beliefs
and by what actions we choose to expend our time and energy on as a result of those beliefs. The bottom
line is that if we are not willing to act, then it is not really a belief after all. Further, pragmatism is in
order here. Sometimes we don't know if we can create something until we try. As little as seven months
ago, I did not know that I could publish one book much less eight in 2003. But, once I found that it was
reasonable financially, the die was cast. And even then, I had a little help from the universe in the form of
an unexpected claim that paid for publishing most of three books. The bottom line is that it has not even
been a hardship. Though it was a lot of work and took a lot of hours. Now all that we need to do is get
people to buy and read what we have written. Is that too much to ask? There is a reason that all of this
was expressed in this manner. There is a reason that I was moved to publish all of it. It is all a matter of
making it available to a wider audience in a more traditional form. That doesn't change the non-
traditional nature of the expression. However, I don't feel that it is my right to change what is expressed
by consciousness. Yes, it is a product of my mind and my body as well. But I am a glorified scribe in this
process. Though, I like to think that I understand what is being expressed through me ... and the scribe
had no such need.

126
No rest for the weary. We still have much to do in the final two months of the year. For one thing, this
expression continues to go on nearly every day. In fact, we are up to 43 straight musings. That is a long
way from my record of 83, but who knows? There are still 51 days remaining in the year. However, with
the holidays coming, there are likely to be breaks in the expression here and there. Oh well. What comes
through comes through. We take it one day at a time. That is how I live my life. Occasionally, I plan a
day or two ahead ... and even more rarely, a week or two ahead. However, I have no use for a daily
organizer. My life is not that structured. Maybe it could be more efficient if it were, but that is not clear.
I'm quite productive and effective already. But yes, there is always room for improvement. It is a matter
of how we choose to present ourselves and apply ourselves. It is amazing what we can accomplish when
we believe that what we are doing is possible or even easy to do. We have resources beyond our
imagining. We are souls enfleshed. As such, we are all mighty beings ... no, almighty beings. Yes,
literally godstuff. Our fears however hold us back from being all that we can be and expressing what we
are capable of expressing. Love and fear ... these are the choices that are ours to make at any time. Do
we allow ourselves to be loving or do we come from fear and limit ourselves needlessly. All pain and
suffering arises out of fear. It takes love to heal it ... and to heal the world in the process. The more love
expressed, the better everything becomes. That is how we further enable spirit to express through us ...
we transcend our fears and express love for all those our lives touch.

What next? Now that we've accomplished the one goal that we set for the year ... what next? It seems it
is time to start thinking about how to promote the material and make people aware that Beyond
Imagination exists and has a body of information that may help them to awaken to the spirit within. I
don't want to tell people how to live or even how to do anything. I want to show them what is possible
and offer advice on how to achieve this. Isn't that what the Beyond Imagination books do. Though the
focus is not readily apparent. The stream of consciousness can ramble on at times. But usually, even then
it offers its pearls of wisdom. There have been many pearls and other precious gems over the years.

Tomorrow is the day. I get to speak to part of the Human Development club at work about Metaphysics:
An Introduction to Wayne's World. I didn't do much to prepare. There is only about 45 minutes to fill.
Surely I have enough to say that I can fill the time in a meaningful way. My preference is to let the stream
of consciousness carry me where it will. It works for this expression. Let's see if it works in person. At
least this is something I am comfortable talking about ... more than that, it is something that I am
passionate about. Let's see if we can convey some of this passion to others. It seems that this is what it is
all about. Life must be lived with passion or it simply is not worth living. There is always something to
be passionate about. It is for us to find what that is for us ... and then to find ways to bring it into our
lives.

Only one person showed up to my scheduled talk today, so we postponed until after Thanksgiving. I was
looking forward to speaking but it just wasn't meant to be, at least not yet. That's OK, my day will come.
It's all a matter of timing. Part of the problem was a late e-mail announcement. I should have reminded
people about this sooner. Oh well, next time we'll do things differently. What happens happens. We have
no right to be attached to outcomes. They don't serve anyone, and they are not ours to guarantee. There is
an unseen hand at play in our lives that is able to determine outcomes. We have to find a way to live with
them, and if possible, to be happy anyway. That is the key to a successful life. Find a way to be happy
anyway, despite what happens in life. When we can do this, we are truly free. Circumstances may impact
us, but don't move us from our center.

The only 11/11 day. That is pretty special of itself. When we add 11/11/23 we get 45, my present age.
Hmm 5 x 9. My final four of my phone number are 1359 = to the death of 59. Also 41 to 14 = 41214.
From center 214 to the left and right. 888 completion is 674 = 764 from the middle out. 764 = GOD.

127
That is why I experience spirit/consciousness as feminine. She is the completion of God. The fact that
such is what I attract to express through me suggests that I am the masculine god if opposites / completion
numbers attract. Or, it suggests that I am akin to the spirit that I experience expressing through me if likes
attract. Actually, my name has 7-4 and my SSN ends in 2184 = To 184. This is the 888 completion of 7-4
or 704 = G-D or G0D with a zero in the middle.

7:64 is The Chariot: Surrender/Renouncing thy will.


7:04 is The Chariot: The Emperor

1:84 is The Magician: The Lovers Exalted

764 = 9:62(78) = The Hermit: The Blindfolded Lady


704 = 9:02(78) = The Hermit: The High Priestess

124 = 1:46(78)
184 = 2:28(78) That one sent shivers through my head and body!

764 = 8:60(88) = Strength: Conscious guiding Subconscious and Superconscious across the water.

704 = 8:00(88) = Strength: The Fool

124 = 1:36(88)
184 = 2:08(88) = 28: The Man with the World in his Hands.

Of these, the four in bold seem to mean the most. I have be the Hermit for some time. I have been
associated with the blindfolded lady since 1994. 28 = 7x4 always is highly important. 7x4 is another
form of 7-4. Actually, it is 764 since x=6. Interesting.

It has been awhile since I've been moved to explore numbers in this way. I don't know why it comes and
why it goes as it does. I just do as I am moved to do in the moment and trust that spirit does indeed have
a message to convey. These four numbers seem to characterize me somehow. They seem to represent
what I am and what I need to add to be complete. Or, they are the partition of 888 that I happen to be
expressing. Hmm ... 184/704 and 124/764. It just struck me that this is my operating range. The center
would be 154/734 with a range of 30 up and down. However the two numbers swing in opposite
directions.

154 = 1:76(78)
154 = 1:66(88)

734 = 9:32(78) = The Hermit: "I AM Race"


734 = 8:30(88) = Strength: Camelot

184/704 = .2613636363
154/734 = .2098092643
124/764 = .1623036649

Difference between top and bottom is .0990599714, slightly less than one tenth. The sense is that this is
the Between Order and Chaos range for me. Below .16 and there's too much chaos. Above .26 and
there's too much order. I need to balance between these points. I don't know how this relates to others.

128
These particular points seem to apply to me in particular. It is curious that they relate to God/G0d and
that 2184 = 888(16) when .16 is one of the operating limits.

It seems that I am onto something new, even if I don't know exactly what I am discovering yet. This is
not something that I've read about. Then again, that applies to many things that I am moved to do. Have I
not read about such things because there is nothing written to read or because I have not been exposed to
the appropriate people and material? It could be either. However, it doesn't seem to matter. At the very
least I am independently discovering things. I like being the explorer. It's a role that suits me. Though, it
would be nice to have an occasional guidepost through the wilderness. No complaining however. This is
what makes life fun for me. This is what gives my life meaning. Unlike many others, I have not derived
that from personal interactions. That doesn't mean that I couldn't or even that I don't want to. Much of it
came out of fear. Primarily, fear of being judged as different and less than somehow. We do a lot of
things out of fear. Or, more precisely, we don't do a lot of things due to fear. However that is not an
effective way to live one's life.

I had a lady today say that I had a lot of courage for presenting so much personal material at the Beyond
Imagination website. I'm not sure that courage had much to do with it. I reached a point where I simply
had to share what spirit had expressed through me. There was never any thought about what should or
should not be shared. Everything was fair game. Besides, how could the material benefit anyone except
me unless I found a way to share it? And not having an impact on others was simply unacceptable. As a
hermit, the only way that I could think of for reaching a large worldwide audience was via the WWW.
However, I didn't do much to publicize the site and make people aware of its existence. Lately, I've
started to do more. But, I allowed several years to go by with little effort applied in this area. I trusted
that spirit would lead those who were meant to find Beyond Imagination to the site. While there have
been over 14,000 hits to the main page in 8 years ... that is not much traffic. If people hit multiple pages,
maybe that translates to 100,000 page hits overall. Given that I have roughly 800-1000 pages that is not
much per page.

12 November 2003

The musings have been closer to the two-hour length for the past week. That is partially because I am
moved to do other things, however it is mostly because I am not moved to sit and muse as much. Perhaps
after 22 months that is to be expected. There is still a lot of material coming forth. In fact, I believe this
makes 290 musings for the year. There were only 304 musings in 2002. We should hit that record prior
to Thanksgiving ... leaving a whole month to exceed it. That should put us on a 330 pace or so for the
year. I can live with that. Each musing is an individual web page. So, the Beyond Imagination site must
have close to 1000 web pages by now. Some of these are 1-2 pages of text. But others are over 50 pages.
The bottom line is that a lot of material has been expressed and shared at the Beyond Imagination site.
And, it seems that this is just a hint of what is to come. I believe that I have another quarter century to
carry out my life's mission.

Sent off for a promotional service for the Beyond Imagination books. We'll see what comes of it. It
doesn't do a lot of good to have published books and not make people aware of them. But, it seems that
everything costs money. Oh well. It costs what it costs. We have to do what we must do. In the end,
everything will work out. My investment to date in publishing and promotion is about $4000, not
counting anything for my time. The return has been $78 to date. That's not much. That covers less than
an hour of my time. However, publishing the books was a one time expense; yet the books have the
potential to pay dividends for many years to come. The material in the expression is timeless. It speaks
to changes that will happen over decades.

129
Building the foundations for spirit to more fully express in flesh is a big job. It seems that it will require
many people to cooperate to accomplish it. But is that necessarily so. Perhaps the seed ideas can start
with as few as one person. But, we need to go beyond ideas. We need to base our actions on these seeds
and do things to build a new world from the foundations up. One important piece of this is establishing a
contract between individuals and society regarding what the individual is entitled to and what society
expects of the individual in return. We don't have such a social contract now. Individuals are expected to
fend for themselves in many areas of their lives. This results in many problems and unnecessary
suffering. It is something that can be changed and should be changed. We need to take better care of one
another. At some level we are ONE. There is no separation. We need to come from that level when we
stretch our arms out to our fellow beings. This is difficult to do if we believe in a world of scarcity, a
world where we must compete to survive and get what we need. However, that is not truth. We live in a
world of abundance. And, there are things that we can do to greatly increase that abundance. Along with
that, we need to fairly share what is generated. We are not used to worrying about this. But the bottom
line is that everyone should have their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual need met. Not wants, but
needs. When we collectively fail to meet needs, we create problems in society. When we allow people to
exist below poverty levels, we as a society are failing in our collective responsibility. But, who do we go
to to address the problems? In the past, we have relied on charitable organizations and families to do
what they could to help. Yet, this is a collective problem. It is one for which we are all responsible. Why
should those who are willing to contribute carry the load for everyone else?

What makes me believe all of this? What makes me believe what is expressed in this stream of
consciousness? Actually, it is more than believing. There is a part of me that knows this somehow. It is
something for which I have no doubt. What I believe is that I'll see the changes manifest in my lifetime.
At the very least I will have worked to try to implement them anyway with whoever will listen and be
moved by what I have to say. I've been off regarding time so often that I am leery making such
predictions. The bottom line is that the Aquarian age is dawning and this will result in dramatic changes
in how spirit is able to express in the world. It will change how individuals interact as well as how
organizations interact both with their members and with other organizations. The sense is that
competition will be increasingly replaced by cooperation to get the best goods and services to as many
people as practical. At some point, we need to deal with equality in the world. All human beings are
created equal. What are the ramifications of this? How do we treat people in developing and
undeveloped nations? It is clear that they are not in a position to help themselves. We don't yet recognize
our obligations to our fellow countrymen. How do we extend this to the people of the world? We live on
ONE world, ONE spaceship Earth. The political boundaries are just lines on a map, invisible from above
the Earth in space. "Imagine all the people ... sharing all the world." This line from John Lennon's song
Imagine comes from the right vision.

What next? That is the question of the moment. What am I moved to do next? I do things, observe the
results, and then do different things in hopes of achieving something better. In some respects, what I have
been doing has worked. I've been incredibly productive in expressing what spirit would express through
me for the past 10 years and 8 months. However, something is missing. As far as I know, I still am not
reaching people in anywhere near the kinds of numbers that this expression is ultimately meant to reach.
Be patient! The words will indeed reach those who are meant to experience them. It is not for you to
force that to happen. Enable perhaps, but not force. Trust that you are doing what you need to be doing.
Take it one step at a time and keep monitoring the feedback. Then make the necessary corrections to your
course. You will intuitively know what these are. Then, you already know that. Your life is unfolding
exactly as it needs to unfold. We are aware that you are somewhat dissatisfied with your current work
environment. It has its moments, but it is ultimately not where you would prefer to be. That's OK. Take
it one day at a time trusting that your liberation is indeed forthcoming. It may not be immediate. But,
opportunities will present themselves and you will be designing the life that you want to live. That is
what reality creation is all about. The highest art of its expression would be to create a masterpiece of
130
your life. Actually, if you looked at your life from the right perspective you would see that you are
already doing this. Just look at what you've expressed and created this year alone both at work and in
your spiritual life. The results are already amazing. Behold thy works! It is through the works that we
define who we are. Ultimately, it is through our works that people come to know us. You've been more
intimate than most in revealing yourself in your spiritual work. That will indeed lead somewhere. No
effort is in vain. It is all recognized. It all creates a force in the world that will ultimately return unto
itself. The timeframe for the return is still relatively slow in the world ... but it is speeding up.

There is much to be pleased about in my life. But, why am I not satisfied? Why am I not more happy?
This suggests that there is something important missing in my life. I have to believe that this is
relationships. This is one area that has been sorely lacking throughout my life. It is time to start
establishing close relationships. How do I do that? This is not a unilateral action. It takes at least two to
create relationships. Anyway, the desire is there. We'll see what it brings into my life. I know that I am
meant to work closely with others. I know that I am meant to interact deeply with others. It is just a
matter of when. At work, I have shown that I'm an effective team player. I get along well with everyone.
But that is not the same as knowing them. That requires sharing at a more intimate level. In this
expression, I try to do this. However, it is a unilateral kind of sharing. Unless people write back to
introduce themselves, there is no real basis for relationships to be established. My way is one of the
written word. Many people are far more familiar with the spoken word for such relationships. One
benefit of writing is the record that comes automatically. Where would I be if this stream of
consciousness had only passed through my mind without getting captured like this? As it is, I get to go
back to any point since 1993 and reexperience what was being expressed. And, not only me. Because
I've posted everything to the WWW, it is freely available to any who can find it. That is a part of the
problem. We need to make it easier to find it. Yet, how do we spread the word? My circle of
acquaintances is quite small and of that only a small percentage have even expressed an interest in what I
have to say in this part of my life. That's curious to me because I consider this to be the most important
part of my life.

This may be the first time this month that we are approaching the 2000 word quota for a musing. That is
about the three-hour point. Overall, we've been averaging this between a third and a half of the time.
Though, ultimately none of this matters. What is meant to be expressed gets expressed. And, it's not like
we're hurting for words. How can we expect anyone to read 3-4 million words? The bottom line is they
will read whatever part of those words they are moved to read. There is much that has been expressed.
Fortunately, it is far faster to read it than to generate it. Otherwise, we would be looking at 4 million
words / 700 words / hour = 5700 hours. That would be the equivalent of nearly 350 days, almost 1 year of
my waking life. I would guess that most people read at least 10 times faster than that reducing the time to
1 month of waking life or 2 hours per day x 8 months. That is a lot to expect from anyone. Is there
sufficient benefit received to be worth the effort? I would say YES! But then, I'm the author so I'm
biased. I don't have sufficient feedback to know whether it is worth it to others. That is a sad state of
affairs after over seven years on the WWW. But, that is the reality of the situation. That is OK. It is what
it is. My life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to unfold. The majestic oak is contained within the seed
of the acorn. My destiny is contained within the seeds of my being as well. And I will naturally grow
into what I must become. I really have no choice in the matter. It is natural law. It is spiritual law. It
can't be rushed. Even the mighty Sequoia trees take thousands of years to grow. During that time they
survive fires and all sorts of changes. Can you imagine what it would be like to live for over two
thousand years? Can you imagine? What is the consciousness of such a tree? It has rings corresponding
to when Buddha and Christ walked the Earth. It has been alive through most of the recorded history of
man. There is something about this that is awe inspiring.

131
In Colors of the Wind, Vanessa Williams sings that every rock, every tree, and every creature has a life,
has a spirit, has a name. I know this to be true as well. Everything is godstuff, everything is spirit,
everything is animate.

13 November 2003

We finally had another 3 hour musing yesterday. It had been awhile. However, we cannot force what
would come forth. Part of it is a matter of opportunity. The pace of musing is very similar from day to
day. What changes is my availability and in particular how long I am moved to muse on a given day.
Some days that is around 2 hours, other days it is around 3. But, it is usually one or the other. There is a
minimum threshold and then there is a wall beyond which I am moved to achieve my objective. The
minimum threshold is 1000 words. The wall is around 1400 words after which I usually find the strength
to go on to at least 2000 words. Why should it be that way? Why these particular limits. 2 hours per day
is 1/8 of my waking life or 1/12 of my entire life. 3 hours per day is 1/8 of my entire life. There is a
suggestion that we ought to give a tithe of our life to spirit. This is my way of doing that. However,
under the right circumstances, this could be greatly increased. What prevents us from giving half or even
all of our life to spirit? We are spiritual beings all of the time. What we do is spiritual. That applies to
everything that we do. Yet, it seems that some things are more spiritual than others. But, more or less are
our judgments. They don't apply to spirit. She will do what she can do anyway. Though what she does
must be done through us. She has no body of her own. We are all her hands doing her work. For me, it
seems not even to be the hand ... I am still the her-mit, the mit or glove that she wears. That is how I feel
in this expression. I am an extension of spirit able to bring forth this stream of consciousness that is
beyond my conscious awareness. I've been doing it for over 10 years. I hope that I am getting good at it
by now. I hope that what I am able to bring forth, record, and share is of utility. I know that it is to me,
but it would be great if this were true for others as well. I like to believe that I am doing all of this for a
reason ... a reason that is more than just my edification. Though, if it were that ... I could find a way for
that to be enough. However, as a wayshower, I like to think that all of this is my way of showing a way
through the wilderness of spirit.

Ten years and eight months = 128 months. Can I really have been doing this for that long already? That's
over 22 percent of my life. It is hard to remember what life was like before the Beyond Imagination
expression. Then again, my memory is such that I don't know what I wrote yesterday. Actually, the prior
paragraph is rapidly fading already. The only thing that saves me is that it is still on the screen and I can
look up at it and refresh my mind if I choose to. That is what capturing all of this is all about. If I simply
allowed it to flow through me, it would still program me ... but it would only impact others to the degree
that it impacted how I interact with others and the world. By capturing it and sharing it, the words are
available to impact any who are moved to find them. The bottom line is that I don't necessarily have to
draw people to the works. Consciousness knows what they contain and where they are and is perfectly
able to move those who need to find them to the expression. It is not for me to push for this to happen.
Rather, it is a matter of allowing what would be to be. Can I do that? Can I be content with allowing the
Plan of spirit to unfold as it will? It seems to be the most natural of choices to make. Why would we
fight to manifest something when we can be part of allowing it to happen naturally? Indeed, why?

I'm listening to some tapes by Wayne Dyer on Higher Awareness. I've found that I can really relate to
them. It is interesting that I was forced to find my way on my own. I don't know if I would have believed
the material before my awakening experiences. But after, it is self-evident. I know that it is true. Wayne
Dyer speaks very well and makes incredible use of quotes from a variety of others. My mind just doesn't
function like that. It doesn't remember quotes. In general it doesn't remember what I read ... not even this
material, even though it comes through me. I still find it amazing that I can express so fluidly and not

132
remember what I've expressed. Occasionally, I'll even find myself doing the same thing over at work
because I don't remember having done it earlier -- sometimes even a few days earlier. Fortunately, that
doesn't happen that often.

Given this, it would seem that there is a risk of repetition in this expression. But, as far as I can tell, that
is not really happening. The expression is new and fresh each day. The intelligence that is generating it
must know more about what it is doing than I do consciously. Part of it is a matter of trust. I go within
and I expect source to come through in this fashion ... and she does not disappoint me. How long can this
go on? It seems indefinitely. Though, I just can't see that happening for even another decade ... much less
a quarter of a century. Though, I will be expressing spiritually for the remainder of my days. Once one
gets the wake up call into greater awareness, there is no going back. This is a one way trip of the light
switch. What was dim and dark is now clear and light. The shadows have vanished to return no more ...
until we find an even greater light source that is. And then the shadows are relative. They are still light,
just not as strong as in other directions. However, we can grow into ever greater awareness. For so long
as we exist, this is our constant quest. But we don't concern ourselves with it. We allow it to happen
naturally.

Why is it that there has been so little feedback regarding this expression? Is it too much for people? Is
the format too strange for most to comprehend? Is the format too strange to keep people's interest? Does
the sheer volume of information turn people away? There must be some reason. Or, is it simply that it's
time has not yet come? That could be it as well. The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter. It is what
it is. I observe that and see what I am moved to do next. So far, that has been to continue with the
expression. And further, to do so in a big way. We invest over 1000 hours per year in spiritual pursuits /
expression. At some point, we expect a return on this investment in terms of an impact on the world.
Why do I need to have such an impact? What makes what I do that important? Why can't I be content to
just live my life without concern for the outcomes? I can trust that these will be whatever is appropriate
as determined be spiritual law. I just need to do my part. That is whatever I am moved by spirit to do.
But, what is that? What am I moved to do? Somehow, I am exactly where I need to be right now. Yet, at
the same time, this is not enough. I am not satisfied. I know that there is more that I can do. There is
more that I am meant to do. Yes, there is a strong sense of destiny at play. However, that being the case,
there is no cause for concern. What is destined will manifest. It is only a matter of time. All that I have
to do is to facilitate it happening.

What more can I do? How do I live a more aware life? How do I increase the degree to which spirit
expresses through me? How do I help others more? How do I employ this expression for the benefit of
the world? How do I develop rich relationships? How do I express more of whom that I truly am? Many
questions, but where are the answers? Within, of course. That is where all such answers lie. In my life,
the outside inputs confirm what I know from within. As an introvert, I've always looked within for
validation. I've prided myself on being different. But, we are all different. We are all special. There are
none more special than any others. We are all spirit incarnate. We are all divine beings. We are all
godstuff. It doesn't matter what we know. It doesn't matter what level of awareness we have reached. It
doesn't matter what lessons we have learned or not learned. It doesn't matter what we do for a living. We
are all equal before god. We are all souls. We don't say that a first grader is any less than a twelfth
grader. They are in the midst of different experiences and different lessons ... but each is in their rightful
place. With souls, there is no less than or no greater then. We will all realize whom that we are
eventually. How long that takes in time is irrelevant. What is expected is that we behave in accord with
our knowingness and our awareness.

How much is ego expressed here? How would I know? Yes, there are times when the expression is
grandiose. However, is it justifiably so? In most cases I am not looking for much for myself. I am
looking for what services I can perform for my community and for the world. Why do I need to have
133
such a big impact ... a world impact? My sense is that it is just part of the role that I came to play. No
more and no less. Someone had to do it. I happen to have chosen the role ... or perhaps auditioned and
been selected. We do what is required of us. It is all a grand drama. It helps to get into our roles and play
them with gusto. It also helps to be aware of what we are doing as we play these roles.

14 November 2003

We came close to another three hour musing, but ran out of steam at just over 1800 words. That's OK.
That's still a respectable output for a day. Actually, even one and a half hours is not bad. There is just a
sense that I can do more. Why do I push myself so? There is something in me that knows that this
expression is important somehow. I may never see whom it impacts. But, that doesn't matter. I'm
committed to express nonetheless. This is where the creative juices are allowed to flow. This is where I
am able to bring forth something from a source greater than I am ... a source that knows things that I have
not learned, at least not consciously. But, how could this be? How can I bring forth things beyond what I
consciously know? It is easy. There is a source within each of us ... our link to our higher self, which
knows things far beyond what our egos will recognize. That is OK. Our egos are meant to be tools, not
masters. They have a function of interpreting physical reality. But this can be difficult if that reality is
ever changing. Also, in the physical separation is pervasive. We are distinct individuals. We want to
somehow be better and more special than others. Further, our egos want others to recognize us as such.
But, all of this separation is illusion. At some underlying level, we are one. We spring forth from the
same source.

Why the need to do anything? Why the need to change anything? Creating the Foundations for a New
World is a big job. Why is it that this is something I must do? Primarily because it needs to be done and I
have the natural abilities to do it. How can I know that? I just do. This is what the rest of my life is all
about. We don't question what we know. We just know it. We can question what we think, and can even
question what we believe ... but, not what we know. That is certain. Knowing allows no doubt or it is not
knowing. I am an instrument through whom spirit does her work in the world. A living instrument yes,
but an instrument nonetheless. My mind and my consciousness are available to do her works. To date,
that has primarily involved writing/typing what she would express through me. I don't edit the material
per se (just minor spelling corrections). I have made selections of quotes, Best of Notes, and Best
Passages; however the selections are always in chronological order. Whatever intelligence is bringing all
of this forth knows what it is doing. I just need to stay out of its way. There is something special about
spiritual expression. It is unlike anything else that we experience. It does not matter what form that
expression takes. For me, clearly writing is it. But any form of creative expression is fine. Find what
comes naturally to you and engage in it in some way that is of benefit to others. Selfless behavior is
rewarded with more opportunities to excel. We need to strive to be more selfless in our endeavors. That
means leaving the what's in it for me attitude at the door. We do things because they are the right things
for us to do, not because of what personal gain will accrue. Do what you know to be right. It most cases,
it will be self-evident. Even if you don't know consciously ... trust that you know at other than conscious
levels.

Why me? Why millions of words of expression? By their works shall ye know them. Well, we have a lot
of works; eight books totaling nearly 4000 pages ... and we've only just begun. Though, that is the bulk
of 10 years of expression. Actually, there are even more words than that available at the Beyond
Imagination site. For instance only about 1/4 to 1/3 of the material in the musings from 2002 made it into
the 520 page Best Passage from 2002 Musings book. Also, the 800 pages in the Best of Notes books are
a similar fraction of the actual months of Notes pages. Regardless, the sense is that we have more than
enough expressed in books and at the site to be of utility to people. The key utility is in providing an

134
example of what one consciousness has been through and has done on its way to awakening and staying
awake.

I'm curious as to what others think of this expression. What do they get out of it that is of utility to them?
Does that make it worth the "cost" of reading it. The primary cost is time. But time is valuable. It is one
commodity that we can't buy more of. We each get our allotted days, hours, and minutes. It is up to us as
to what we do with them. Clearly, this expression is worth it to me. And I'm making a far larger
commitment of time than any who might read this. I would hope that this commitment is ultimately
spread across many readers. But it seems this is out of my hands. You are not to be concerned with
outcomes ... you are to do what you must do. That's about as direct as you can get. Outcomes are in god's
hands not mine. That doesn't mean that I shouldn't be observant and learn from the outcomes that are
created. It just means that I shouldn't focus on achieving particular outcomes. Things work much more
smoothly if we simply do the tasks that are ours to do. This expression is one of my tasks. Where it will
lead, I don't really know. To date, it hasn't led to where I expected it might. That just says my
expectations were off. Should I be using this as feedback to do something differently? The sense is no.
Both the quality and quantity of expression for since the start of 2002 have been more than I dreamed
possible. So, something about this is right, even though it doesn't seem to be having any effect in the
world yet. My sense is that it will, all in good time. Everything happens according to a timeline set by
spirit, not us.

We have 72 musings to date for 2003 Musings - Vol III. They total nearly 700 kb. That's about 54 x
2000 words = 108,000 words. That puts us on pace for another 500-600 page book just after the end of
the year. Each volume has covered 1/3 of the year. I'm curious as to what this transforms into in 2004.
There is a sense that more of the same is not what is needed. 2002 was different from 2003. The
vibrations for 2004 are different still. Even though it is only 6 weeks away, I have no clue as to what will
be changing. Though, it seems that I am not likely to escape my current work environment. I just don't
see an alternate source of income manifesting anytime soon. Wishful thinking is one thing. But, it takes
more than that to believe. Given that, it seems that I need to find a way to make the best of my present
situation and find ways to make it more interesting and fun. I'm missing that in my life. There is not
enough fun. I've become too serious in my middle age. It is time to lighten up and allow spirit to shine
even more than I have allowed to date.

It seems time for outreach. I've done part of that by posting the Beyond Imagination expression. But, it
seems that is not enough. People are not finding and being exposed to the material in the kinds of
numbers that make a real difference. I have feedback from a few people that have found various parts of
the material clear and useful. But, these have been far fewer than I had expected. Why should I care what
feedback comes or doesn't come? I know that the material is good. I've read most of it at least twice, and
some of it many times. Elegance is the idea that the universe gets the maximum results for whatever
effort is expended. I like to believe that spirit is operating elegantly through me. That would mean that
this expression is meant to reach and impact an audience ... and a sizeable one at that. Are there things
that I can do to facilitate this? Or, is this all in spirits hands now? The sense is that the former is true.
My destiny and the destiny of Beyond Imagination are in my hands. I can fashion them as I will. But,
how would I fashion them? My desire is to change the world ... or to show the way that allows the world
to change naturally into something more in line with the spirit of the Aquarian Age. I would create the
foundations for a new world. This should be child's play for one who is a Master Builder at heart. The
bottom line is to demonstrate how to manifest higher awareness. There are many teachers out there who
speak of this. Ram Dass and Wayne Dyer are two that I've listened to recently. They confirmed much
that I already knew from firsthand experience. Though they explained it in terms that were new to me.
Both use stories and Wayne Dyer makes extensive use of quotes from others. It is amazing to me that he
could remember all of this. I don't even remember my own quotes hanging on the wall to the left of me in
my office and I've read them dozens if not over 100 times. That seems to be a feature of my mind. There
135
are very few things it remembers very long. Many things are forgotten within seconds ... even things that
I try to remember. I've always refused to memorize things, trusting that I could derive what I needed to
know when I needed to know it; or that I could readily look it up. One positive benefit from this is that
my mind is unencumbered with the past most of the time and is free to focus on the present. It also puts
me in a sort of meditative state much of the time ... one where the stream of thoughts is quieted. Even in
this expression, I have to quiet my thoughts so that the stream of consciousness can express.

If this were a baseball game, we would be down to the final inning. It is all a matter of putting in the time
to express. If we make ourself available, the expression flows forth. We aren't controlling it, but we seem
to have a hand in guiding it. There is some interaction. I'm not a completely passive instrument. But,
how does a stream of consciousness differ from a stream of thought? For one thing, it is far more
organized and flows more smoothly. Thoughts seem to be far more random and jumpy. Then again, it has
been over ten years since I thought heavily with the exception of work. And, even there my work is a
combination of logic and intuition. I'm so used to being the observer, the watcher, the listener ... that I
rarely pay much attention to my mind functioning anymore. As I look around, I come from an attitude of
acceptance. The observer has no ability to take action and impact things. But this expression, this is an
action. It can have impacts on individuals and potentially on the world. So what is it that is expressing
thus? I am a glorified scribe. My mind is the medium through which the message comes to be typed by
my fingers so that it can appear before my eyes and be captured for posterity. Hmm ... where did that
come from? Why do I need to leave markers to say that I was here ... join me and be here also? Yet, is
that not exactly what spirit is doing through me ... what I am doing? Indeed it is. And, I do it because I
know that it is the right thing for me to be doing. There is a force within awaiting expression that I
choose not to resist. Either that or I simply cannot resist. Either way, the result is that this expression
comes forth as it does.

15 November 2003

The streak continues. This makes 48 straight musings, by far the longest streak of the year. That just
means we are drawn to muse and that we are finding time each day to do it. It is not a matter of can it be
done. It is a matter of committing the necessary time. The pace is fairly constant, roughly 700 words per
hour. Many people can read that in less than five minutes. What makes it worth the commitment? For
one, I get a lot out of the expression. And because it is coming through me so slowly, I experience it in a
way that others do not. Then again, I know little about how others experience this expression. There has
been some feedback but very limited overall during the past decade. In fact, it would total a handful of
pages of text at the most. That is not much considering the thousands of pages of expression to date. And
we’re talking about 8.5 x 11 pages. What makes me believe that it is worth reading and studying? I just
know that it is. It strikes a chord deep within me. There are metaphysical truths being presented and
being demonstrated. But, why so much expression? Why do we need thousands of pages? Couldn't a
few hundred do? What is expressed is what needs to be expressed. As to the volume, it is what it is. It is
not clear that I control the flow. It is as if I have an appointment with destiny each day. I don't make
appointments often but I meet them when I make them.

So, what would we express today? As usual, my mind is blank. I'm not consciously in control of the
process. I simply allow it to happen through me. I make my brain and consciousness available to the
ONE consciousness. She speaks to me via the voice within and I write what she says. Even these very
words are produced in that way. I am ever amazed by how consciousness expresses. She never seems to
run out of words, at least not for long. Occasionally there are breaks that last from seconds to minutes but
these are all part of the natural flow of things. Spirit/consciousness is my refuge. It is in her that I know
that I am safe. The world can touch me only to the degree that I allow it to. Yet, my world is a mirror

136
reflection of whom that I AM. Each of us live within a world of our own making. Oh, there is a common
background to these worlds that we agree to as consensus reality. But, within that there is a lot of latitude
for creating our own reality. We do this primarily through beliefs and knowing. Knowing involves the
things for which there is no doubt. Beliefs however are not as certain. Though we use them by acting as
if and seeing the consequences they bring into our lives. We are always free to change the beliefs that
don't serve us and those whom we touch. Beliefs are our way of dealing with part of the unknown. They
may or may not be right. Further, we may never know if they are right or not. What matters with beliefs
is utility. Do the beliefs serve us and others? Do they help to make our lives better? If they don't it is
time to find new ones that do.

There is something to be said about being silent and maintaining a blank mind. That is precisely what it
takes to allow spirit to come through in our lives. So long as we are busy with our own stuff, our own
desires, our own thoughts ... there is no room for spirit. As soon as we let these go, she appears and
remains with us so long as we listen to her. Mainly this comes through inner promptings via our
intuition. The more we develop that connection within us the more peaceful we become. We no longer
see it necessary to impose our will on the world. We can allow and accept whatever happens as the will
of spirit. But, you say what about the atrocities? How could that be the will of spirit? Yet, there is only
spirit and the will of spirit. Nothing else is real. Nothing else exists. For some, this requires a big leap of
faith. Others recognize its truth as self-evident. Still others, the vast majority, don't yet believe this at all.
That doesn't mean they won't in time. The mass consciousness can change afterall. It just needs to be
shown the increased utility in making the change. It will see that as more and more individuals start
believing. At some point there is a critical threshold and the entire mass consciousness makes the leap.
That may be part of what the Aquarian Age is about.

I saw an interesting license plate on the drive home yesterday - 4GSD128. 1284 is 2184 from middle left
to middle right. This is 888(16). GSD = 714 is a 7-7-7 triangle with 7 in the front and 7+7 = 14 in the
back. 777 and 888 in the same license plate suggest we are 111 from the 888 - 888 Star of David, the
symbol for community. If that is 111 years, that would take us to 2114. This is the span 12-13-14 from
center left to center right. Multiplied together we are back to 2184 = 888(16). This could also represent
111 months. That is 9 years 3 months. That would take us to February 2013, one month shy of the 20th
anniversary of the birth of the Beyond Imagination expression.

I know. How can I find such meaning in license plates? I just expect that it will be there and allow it to
unveil itself to me. Not every license plate that I see has meaning for me, but many do. It definitely
makes driving more interesting. Actually, nearly any number or name associated with us usually has
spiritual meaning of some type. If it were easy to find that meaning, the world would already be a much
more spiritually aware place than it is. The world is already spiritual, but being aware takes another step
of consciousness. Does everyone need to awaken and become more aware? Ultimately, it seems that the
answer is yes. But, there is no required timeline by which this must happen. Individuals are allowed to
take as long as it takes them. Everyone is growing in a manner and at a rate that is right for them. It
cannot be any other way. Spirit is elegant in how she manifests.

All is right in the world. Hmm ... do I really believe that for my world, much less for the world at large?
In some respects I do. I am doing what I am meant to be doing. And, I have achieved a reasonable level
of abundance for that. Could life be better? Of course it could. But it seems that such is in my hands to
make it so. What I do has an impact on the world. What I do determines what gets attracted into my
reality. It is not enough to think something, we must believe deeply enough to act. Yes, ultimately
everything originates with thoughts. But until the thoughts are sufficient to move us to action, they are
merely passing thoughts of little import. It is the great thoughts of the ages that can truly move us. They
strike a chord within and stir our passion. It is no wonder that great thoughts come from the greatest
minds and souls of the ages. One must reach an affinity with spirit to be able to bring forth such
137
thoughts. It is interesting that there are more books of quotes. There are a few relatively large ones in the
libraries and bookstores. But one would think that in over 2500 years of recorded thoughts in books,
there might be more collections of great thoughts. One of the books that I picked up early in my studies
was The Mystic Masters Speak by Vernon Howard. It is a collection of some wonderful quotes by some
true masters. We already have a 600 page book of Beyond Imagination Quotes selected from ten years
of expression. However, these all came from spirit through me. Does that make them mine? I had to be
receptive enough to bring them forth. Is that any different than how anyone engages in creative
expression? I have no experience to know this. I only know what my experience has been. I don't see
others consumed with expressing in the manner that I do. It is interesting that I express even though I
know not who the audience will be ... or even if there will be one. For instance, with these daily musings,
I would bet that there are less than a handful of people following them on a regular basis. However, once
expressed in this form, the material is available indefinitely. And, there is a timelessness about the
material. There is nothing that dates it so that it might become out of date at some point. It has been like
that since the beginning. It is not something that I had to work at to make so.

There is a sense that it is time to take my rightful place in the world. Perhaps that is what 2004 will
bring. One never knows until it happens. This suggests that my current place is not my rightful place. I
know that to be true. But, I'm a pragmatist at heart. I see that my life is actually working fairly
efficiently. The spiritual expression is coming forth great. My job has its moments and pays me
sufficiently to cover what I need ... at least from the standpoint of those things I can buy. There is just a
sense that I could do so much more if I were free, truly free. And what keeps me enchained? What
prevents me from doing the things necessary to gravitate to my rightful place? Nothing. In fact, I am
already doing such. One step at a time. Each step takes us closer to our date with destiny. All of us have
a destiny. And, we will indeed achieve it. It is in the cards, so to speak. We cannot help but to be whom
that we are. One way or another we will get there. Some go peaceably and quietly. Others go kicking
and screaming all the way. It helps if we accept who we are. It helps even more if we discover whom
that we truly are. No, the two are not the same ... not until we reach very advanced levels of awareness
anyway.

Just as individuals have a destiny, so there is a collective destiny as well. Spirit is evolving the collective
to permit increased expression of spirit in flesh through the organizations formed within the collective.
Governments, the education system, the health care system, the economic system, and the
religious/spiritual organizations are a few organizations that are highly important. They provide us with
most of what we need to function effectively and live decent lives. Many of these are already founded on
spiritual building blocks. In the coming years, we will see this increase dramatically as spirit not religion
begins to pervade our lives allowing us to create a true heaven on Earth. Then we will have
manifested: on Earth as it is in Heaven. That is a very big thing indeed. But, we're not there yet. There
is a lot of work to be done. And, spirit can only do that work through us. But, she will not force her way
through. We have to volunteer. We are her eyes, her ears, her hands, her legs, her body, her mind, even
her consciousness in flesh. With that we can do miracles ... not of our own accord, but because spirit does
them through us. It is all a matter of believing, no knowing, that we are the instruments through which
spirit expresses.

16 November 2003

Another day, another musing. That has been our fate for over a month and a half. This marks the first day
of the second half of November. That makes it day 365 - 31 -14 = 320 for the year. I don't remember
how many of those days that we have mused. But I think we were at 289 sometime last week. We should
be on a 330 pace for the year. That would break last years record of 304 by 26. That's 1/12. That's the

138
equivalent of nearly an extra month of musing. That's still a month shy of a consecutive year of
musings. However, good enough is good enough. There is only so much that we can expect of
ourselves. Oh, it is far more than most people imagine. But, there are still limits. Perhaps as we grow in
awareness the limits lessen. That seems to be the case for me to date. I imagine that I am not alone in
this. Maybe I am not alone in anything. Perhaps there are unmet counterparts everywhere. Will I ever
meet them? Something suggests that indeed someday I will. But is that out of my own desire or is it
because we are destined to work together? I would hope that by now it would be the later. There is much
that I can do. But together we can do far more to construct an even grander reality. I need to do my part.
But, try though I might, I cannot take on the roles of others. However, if our paths cross, it is for a
reason. Destiny doth bring us together to do something that neither of us can do alone. We have only to
find what that is and do it with full hearts. It helps to be mindful to what we are dong as well. We need to
be single-minded in our pursuits.

So, what would be expressed today? It is ever a surprise. How can that be? It simply is. It has been that
way since the expression began going on 11 years ago. Consciousness sets the agenda. I go along for the
ride. And, some interesting rides we have taken over the years. Hopefully that comes across in what is
expressed. That is my intent anyway. I believe that it is spirits as well. Yet, how do we describe flights
of consciousness? We do what we do. Hopefully that is enough to trigger a similar awareness in you.
This expression allows you to walk in my shoes, my consciousness for awhile ... and a long while at that
if such is what you desire. Use what you find of utility in your life and leave the rest potentially for other
times when it may serve you better. You are under no obligation to do anything with this expression
except whatsoever you are moved to do. And, even then you have the choice to do it or not. I don't seem
to be nearly as free. Expressing in this manner is far too important to me to even consider stopping. Yet,
2004 rapidly approaches and we still know not how we will be moved to express. There is a sense that it
will be different, perhaps even unrecognizably so. That is OK. Different is good. It is all a matter of
attitude. I choose to think positively. Further, I come from a state of knowing that is foreign to most. At
least I think that's the case. My interactions with others are too few to know for certain. Not that it
matters. We each have a level of awareness appropriate to what we need to experience and to express.
No more and no less. None are greater and none are lesser in the eyes of God. We each came to manifest
whom that we are to the degree that we can. And, whom that we are is greater than any of us have
imagined. That reveals a natural limit of our imagination. There is only so much that it is capable of.
After that, we have to go beyond imagination to find more. This we can do at anytime. But, for most it
seems to take a major external trigger of some type.

On and on we continue. Another musing doth we make in the process. All it takes is words. Of course,
the right words in the right sequence ... but still words. It is amazing what 26 letters, 10 numerals, a
space, a period, a comma, a left parenthesis, a right parenthesis, a colon, and a semicolon can do. Out of
these basic building blocks, all words, all sentences, and all paragraphs in this expression are built.
Amazing how that can happen. It is important to notice how important the space is to communication.
Without it, our words would run together and our writings would be nearly impossible to read. Language
is a very good thing. Though as stated many times, my particular forte is written expression. It is by far
what I prefer. However, that doesn't mean that others share my preference. In fact, I know that there are
many who don't. There are many who would much rather speak than read and write. Do I need to change
my ways to enter their world? Or, can I find sufficient people with preferences similar to my own to
interact with?

Tonight we are going to stop at the lower limit for the expression. It is already 10:30 and I am weary. I
haven't been sleeping very well of late. I'm not sure whether it's a side effect of the new medication or
not. The doctor said difficulty sleeping might be a problem, and to switch to taking the pill in the
morning if this happened. We'll try one more night.

139
I'm still moved to muse daily. I enjoy that. It says something about how important this expression is to
my life. There is nothing else in my life that I am this committed to except my immediate family, my
wife and three furry kids. I still live a very isolated existence. Is this by choice? I prefer my own
company ... but, I have had occasions where I thoroughly enjoyed being with others. The most notable
times were at Tony Robbins and Stuart Wilde seminars.

17 November 2003

The musings continue. One day at a time we find a way to string them together. This makes day 50 in a
row. There have only been about three streaks longer than that, all of them last year. Not that the streaks
matter much. The expression occurs when it does. By definition, what must be expressed is expressed. I
could not stop it even if I wanted to. Right now, I still consider this to be the most important work of my
life. It is interesting that it comes through as a stream of consciousness with no organization on my part ...
at least no conscious organization anyway. So, what makes me believe that all of this is worthy of
expression? Actually, the question doesn't make any sense. What is expressed is expressed, that is all that
matters. It needs no justification. It needs no additional reason for being. It simply is what it must be.

There is a destiny that is being played out in our lives. It is being played out everywhere we look. It is a
spiritual destiny. We live in a spiritual world. It has always been so. But, with the change of an age, it is
even more so. How can I know this? It just keeps coming through. Whether it is right or not, it seems
that we shall know someday. Until then, we'll have to be satisfied that what is expressed may be so. How
can all of this be expressed in the declarative? Why don't I question more of it? From the beginning
nearly 11 years ago, that is just how it has been. I was not moved to question it. I as amazed that it could
come forth at all. I'm still amazed by all of this. It truly is miraculous that the quantity and quality of
material comes forth as it does. It blows me away at times. It is difficult accepting this at times. Why
me? Why now? It is hard to keep from feeling special ... as if I have been handpicked by spirit to do
this. But, my life has not been like other lives. Of course, it has been designed for me to do different
things than others. I believe that I am doing that. I have been since 1993 and perhaps even earlier. I'm
curious as to what others get from this expression. But, the only way for me to know that is for you to
provide feedback. I encourage that you do so. It would help me to know. It also might influence what
gets expressed.

"One man can make a difference ..." The show that I was watching just had that line. I know that this is
true. I believe that the Beyond Imagination expression will ultimately make a difference, a big
difference. Why is that so important? Why can't I be satisfied living a normal life? Primarily because I
am not normal or average. I have special abilities and talents that allow me to express in writing. I
express a voice that I don't even know as my own. It comes from an inner source but that alone does not
make it mine. I've literally connected to it for over the equivalent of a year of my waking life. That is a
lot, especially considering that it occurred in 11 years. When you look at it like that, it is mind-boggling.
However, what would I do with it? Do I need to do anything? Why not just let it run its own course? I
can do as I moved to do. I don't need to force anything to happen. Then again, I am an instrument of
spirit. And spirit does things in the world though us. We need to actively work towards things. We need
to actively be the change that we want to see in the world. I can't make a difference if I don't find ways to
touch other peoples lives. That is a major jump for me. Though, it seems that it is time that I make it.
We've been speaking of this for months. When will we take the leap of faith into a new way of being? Is
it too much to ask to get a sign as to when? Does this go against the advice of not lusting after
outcomes? Am I trying to impose my will on the universe? Is it better to allow spirit to determine the
outcomes? Do I not have enough to do just doing the things that I am moved to do? What is my overall
job in the scheme of things? My sense is that it is to do more than I am doing. Further, I don't see myself

140
working alone. There is an outward expression that is yet to come. It started with the sharing of the
Beyond Imagination expression. But, it needs to evolve even further to involving others closely. Right
now, that is the key thing missing from my life ... close relationships with others.

Why is it so important to reveal what is expressed here? Many would consider such information to be
private. But, clearly I have a different view of that. In fact, I offer it to the world. Then, I believe there is
only ONE consciousness and that we are all part of that. So, in revealing this information ... I'm really
making it available to other aspects of my SELF. So, there is no breach of privacy. I do this willingly. I
accept what is expressed. I feel no need to restrict or constrain it. Neither do I edit it. What comes forth
comes forth. Do others express like this? If so, how might I find them? I'll find whom I am meant to
find, one way or another. Such is how destiny plays itself out in our lives. It seems that I'm rambling
more than usual tonight. Then again, who am I to judge what gets expressed? There is no need to judge
anyway. There is especially no need to judge what spirit would do. How do I know what spirit would
do? I simply do what I am moved to do trusting that spirit is doing the moving. Then again, that is true
for all of us once we tap the source within. It is also true when we do the things that we love to do. There
is something special about loving ones work. It transforms labor into fun. It is amazing what we can
accomplish when this happens. We can be incredibly creative when we are properly motivated. Love is
one of the universal motivators. It pushes us to be the best that we can be and to do works beyond
imagination. I hope this expression offers some inspiration by demonstrating what is possible. If all of
this can come forth through me, then what can come forth through you? It may be art, or music, or
poetry, or sport, or any number of things. Whatever it is, is right for you. Expressions are not to be
compared to one another. Each work stands on its own. There is a saying, by their works shall ye know
them. Ultimately, that is what counts, the works that we do. But works are more than words. And, thus
far, all that I have to show for myself is words. A lot of words, yes, but words nonetheless. Yet, words
can lead to actions consistent with the words. Further, words can move others to action as well. Whether
they will do so or not, we can't know in advance. But, whatever impact they are meant to have, they will
have.

When are the words going to move me to action? What am I moved to do next? Expressing and even
publishing books is not enough. My spirit demands more. Further, I expect more from myself. We tend
to live up to our expectations, no matter what they are. Further, the reality we experience tends to live up
to our expectations as well. So, we need to be careful about what we expect.

I forgot how slowly the expression proceeds when I watch television at the same time. My mind can
operate concurrently. It just doesn't do so as fast. Also, it depends on how interesting the shows are. I've
watched several episodes of Stargate-1. It is a fascinating show. So far, the episodes have all been new.
It seems that I need to decide what I want to do and engage my mind and attention fully. Though, there is
something to be said for being entertained. There are far worse things in life. In fact, all of life should
entertain us. It is highly amusing when looked at in the right light. Spirit is light, in more ways than one.

We live in a world of our own making. We create the reality that we experience. We do this every hour of
every day so long as we walk the Earth. We do this individual and we do this en masse. It behooves us to
learn how we do this and to practice until we become good at it. We have the potential to be experts. In
fact, we are masters at other than conscious levels. We can become conscious masters if we so desire and
are willing to put in the appropriate time and effort.

Whence forth does this expression originate? I say it comes from source ... a place deep within me where
I connect to a stream of consciousness. Is this my stream of consciousness? It comes forth through me,
but that does not necessarily make it mine. Though, nearly everything that we do does indeed come from
us. But, for this expression I have always said it comes through me not of me. Yet, in another breath I
consider myself to be the author of these words. I am the one through whom they come. For all that I
141
know, all authors express in the same way. Though, perhaps not as automatically. There is something
about that that is amazing as well. How could so much expression come forth without any conscious
organization on my part. Many authors craft seemingly endless drafts, writing and rewriting their works
many times. Such has never been my way. You might say that makes me lucky ... to have such a natural
gift. Then again, what has luck got to do with it? Yes, I am grateful. But the gifts were things that I came
into this existence with because I would need them to perform my mission. This is true for all of us.
Each of us have our unique gifts and talents. They are meant to be used in service in some way. We have
to find our place in the world. We have to find where we can make the greatest contribution.

Still struggling more than usual. But, this should be our final leg for the evening. I have no idea what I've
written to this point. It has stretched over many more hours than normal. That is OK. It made for an
interesting journey anyway. Each day we go where spirit takes us. That we can do so day after day is a
mystery. But then, life is a mystery. We tend to lose sight of this as we go through our lives. But, it
doesn't have to be that way. We can remember the miraculous. There was a book by P.D. Ouspensky
titled In Search of the Miraculous. I believe that I read it in the late 1970's. I have no clue as to what
was in it anymore but I'm sure that I kept the book anyway. I read many books over the years, a good
number of which I kept. Not that I've been moved to go back and read many of them a second time. It
just seemed right to collect the books. I didn't really know of anywhere to recycle them. When we do
finally start forming a community, we have the makings for a decent metaphysical lending library. That
would be one of the foundations for a new world. Ideas are extremely important. And, metaphysical
ideas are some of the most important around. I have been dealing with such ideas for over 30 years. That
is a long time for one who is only 45, literally since my early teens and for all of my adult life.

18 November 2003

Another day, another musing. It has been happening like that for nearly two years. Will it go on for
another year. Or, are there other activities in store for us? It seems that we'll see soon enough. There are
only 43 days left in the year. I'm anxious as to what will happen. But, it is a positive anxious. I'm
looking forward to what is to come, come what may. My life is an adventure in consciousness now. I am
happy to go wherever she takes me. My life is in spirits hands now. It has been for some time ... perhaps
even for my whole life. It is just that I did not recognize it until my awakening experiences in 1993.
Awakening brings a new level of awareness. It is not clear how to describe it. It is just something that
you have to experience. The mind cannot contain it. It is a beyond mind experience. It opens up a whole
new dimension of freedom. Our minds may have a mental understanding that we create our own reality.
They may even believe this to some degree in some areas of our lives. But, our spirits know that we
create it all, no fine print, no exceptions. Things happen in our lives when we know that they will. But,
even then we must leave the timing to spirit. Oh, there are some things that are within our power to create
on our own. Putting down a wood floor in the house was primarily the result of a decision to do it, buying
the wood, and applying the labor to make it so. Why is this communication any different. For one thing,
it is not physical labor. Actually, it is not mental labor either ... it is spiritual labor. And with that, there is
always an element of consciousness, of spirit flowing through us. This we can allow, but it is not clear
that we can control. Then again, that is my experience to date. This may change as the years go by and as
my consciousness evolves. For now, however, I can only report on what I have experienced. We'll leave
the speculation to others. There is already much that has been expressed here that goes against consensus
beliefs and perhaps even conventional wisdom. That does not matter. What is expressed is what is
expressed. I am left with the task of accounting for how all of this could come forth through me. I can
only conclude that it is destiny. This is what I am meant to be doing with my life now. I trust that when it
is time to do something different, spirit will kindly inform me as to what that is.

142
There is something to be said about living life in the moment. In many ways, it makes it easier. One
trusts that by taking care of each moment, the future will take care of itself. This seems to work for most
things. However, there are some things that need to be planned. Vacations are one example. There are
not many others in my life. Even for work, I rarely have meetings identified more than a week ahead of
time. Many people carry their day planners everywhere. I don't even own one. Further, I don't even wear
a watch. I'm in front of the computer most of the day and it has a clock in the lower right corner.
Interesting. I wonder how many others there are like me. Probably none ... but just maybe there are a few
out there. Will I ever find them? If it is meant to be, there is nothing that can stop it. If it is not meant to
be, there is nothing that can make it happen. So, be patient. Allow what would be to unfold in your life.
You will indeed enjoy what comes. Know that. And, in the interim, find more ways to be in joy. You are
not enjoying the process anywhere near as much as you could. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Follow your
own directive:

Be Happy and Create Well!

There is a reason you use that particular closing. Part of it is a reminder to you every time you use it ...
which is nearly everyday since it closes each musing. Happiness has eluded you more than is necessary.
In some cases, you are trying too hard. In others, you are expecting too much of yourself. Look at all that
has come forth through you already. At 45, you are already a published author with eight books totaling
in excess of 4000 pages. That is a major achievement. You've shared more than most share in a lifetime.
Not bad for a hermit who doesn't deal much with people. Yes, there is more that you can do and that you
will be doing. Just don't push so hard. It will happen regardless of how hard you push. However, the
more you push, the more resistance you may encounter. So, just allow it to flow naturally and act when
you are moved to act. You still have many years ahead of you. There is much to do, but there is more
than sufficient time to do it. We applaud your decision to work on your health. You've neglected your
body for many years. The body is spirit, the same as everything else ... just a different vibration of
manifestation. This makes the third time in 11 years that you've worked toward significant weight loss.
The last two times you used supplements that altered your brain chemistry or were otherwise dangerous to
you. This time the focus is on a lifestyle change involving a lower food intake and change in the types of
food consumed. That is not the easiest of changes to make. Old habits die hard. However, we can do
anything one day at a time.

It is always interesting to see the changes in the expression where guidance is provided explicitly to me.
Usually it is expressed in the plural "We" and expressed to me as "you". This doesn't happen a lot. But,
when it does, it is usually particularly meaningful and encouraging. It helps to get such acknowledgement
from time to time, especially since I don't get it from others much. That is primarily my fault. If I want
feedback from others, I need to interact with them and cultivate friendships. Why don't I do this? I just
never have. I'm not sure that I really know how. I get along well with others at work. But, I would not
consider that the same as developing close relationships. What makes me think this will ever change?
One, because I desire for it to change. Two, because I believe such change is necessary for me to do what
I came to do. Hermits don't build communities. Though, they may indeed build the foundations for such.
Hmm ... I'm still very much attached to my Hermit nature, perhaps overly so. That is not surprising given
this has been my preferred nature for most of my life. Though I can get lonely at times. Spirit is
wonderful. But that is not quite the same as having friends amidst ones contemporaries. Surely, there are
other transcendentalists out there whom I could relate to deeply. How do I find them? Or, how do I
facilitate their finding me? Have I truly done what I can do? There is an inner sense that no, I haven't.
There are still other things that I can and must do if I want what I say that I want. Somehow, I need to
make myself more available to others. My current lifestyle has me isolated much of the time. Overall,
such solitude is a good thing for me personally. However, one can have too much of a good thing. I'm
always going to require my periods of solitude. That is how I recreate and recharge my batteries. But, I
also need my social times ... though these must be purposeful to keep my interest. Gossip and small talk
143
bore me. I would rather not interact than have to put up with that. This expression provides an example
of the kinds of things that I would like to see discussed.

I'm not sure what makes these paragraphs hang together as paragraphs. I hit the double carriage return
when I feel that it is right to start anew. I don't use grammar or writing style rules to make these
decisions. They occur automatically much as all of the expression does. Yet, I am an intimate part of the
process as well. The words must come forth through my consciousness. Also, I've always used block
paragraphs with blank lines between paragraphs rather than indenting the first word. It is just a personal
preference. The sense is that this comes from doing it this way in times past. Who knows?

What would I do next? I was waiting for that question to come. It was only a matter of time. But, I still
don't know the answer. I know that I continue to be moved to express here. But, right now, that is about
it. There is also a sense that I could be doing something more. However, exactly what that is still eludes
me. I trust that when I need to know, I will know. That is how things work in my life. Spirit operates on
a need to know basis. She feeds us what we need to know when we need to know it. Most of this occurs
at other than conscious levels. That is OK. In general, we are all very competent at other than conscious
levels. One of our objectives however is to live a more conscious life, a more spiritually aware life. To
do that, we must open ourselves up to higher awareness and all that it has to offer.

We speak with a voice that has no end. It is curious that we can do that here while we have so little to say
in person to people. What can I say? It is easier here. And, I have a captive audience even though it is an
unseen one. Regardless, I am moved to spend hours in this endeavor. Why? What is the ultimate worth
of what I am doing? Is that something I can know? To date, I have trusted that since I am moved to do it,
it must be worth it. I'm watching A Beautiful Mind. There is a line "I need to believe something
extraordinary is possible" that caught my attention. It is the extraordinary in life that gives it meaning. I
have always strived to be extraordinary in what I do. How is my condition different than that of John
Nash? I don't suffer from schizophrenia and I don't see people that aren't there ... at least as far as I know.
However, I have a mental condition nonetheless that is controlled via a combination of medications and
just dealing with it. Mania is far more manageable to deal with than schizophrenia. Then again, I have a
brother and sister that have had a far more difficult time with things than I have. It seems that mental
conditions run in my family. That is positive in that it makes me different. However, learning to deal
with things can be a bit tricky. We are all a bit crazy. Some of us more than others. That is OK. There is
nothing wrong with being crazy so long as we learn to channel it effectively.

I don't think of a career in the same way others do. I'm not actively climbing the corporate ladder of
success. Rather, I am allowing myself to be pushed where spirit blows me. A job is not my lifes work.
For now, it is the means of earning my livelihood so that I can do my lifes work. That is an interesting
way of viewing things. I'm definitely not in love with my job or married to my job as some are. Though,
my spiritual work is a different matter. This I do because I love doing it. Will my spiritual work be my
only work at some point? I would hope that would be the case but it is not something that I can force. We
need to do what we are good at doing. It helps if this is what we love as well. Can this work for
everyone? Yes, for everyone who chooses to make it so. However, to make such a choice, we have to
believe that this is within our power to do. We have to believe we are worthy of living such a life. The
option of a life of spirit is always there. It is a matter of deciding that such is the life that we want to live.

19 November 2003

The musings continue ... 52 straight days and still counting. It is amazing to me that the flow can be so
consistent and regular. Then again, I really don't have anything else in my life to compare this to. That is

144
OK. It doesn't really need to be judged or compared to anything. It is enough that it is created as it is.
This expression brings meaning to my life. It is something that I do that is ultimately for more than me.
At least, I strongly believe this to be the case. Hence the need to share it all. If this were not meant for
others, I don't believe that I would be so moved to share it. Yet, at this point I do not even know with
whom it is shared. That is OK. I can live with an unseen audience. Though it seems that some feedback
and interaction would benefit the expression. Whether that will come to be or not remains to be seen. We
will live with and respond to whatever spirit throws our way.

Why is it that progress seems to be so slow in the spiritual domain? Several religions have been around
over 2000 years. Why haven't they helped more to put our spiritual house in order? You would think that
they would know by now what works and what doesn't. But, they have competing aims. If they truly set
people free spiritually, they lose their control and their power. They exist because they provide a service
to their constituents. It doesn't matter whether the service is needed or not. It only matters that it is
perceived to be needed. I have stated before that I need no intermediary between spirit and me. There is
no priestcraft that I trust to know more about this than I already know inside of myself. That puts a lot of
reliance on inner sources. However, I have found that it is well founded. What we know inside is
incredible. That is true for all of us. We just have to find and learn to tap these inner sources.

Laptops are wonderful. I'm typing this in my car during a lunch break. I don't have a lot of time, but I
wanted to get as much of today's musing as I can as early as I can. I typed the above two paragraphs in
the car before my meeting this morning. So, overall, I am being productive with my time. It is for us to
make each moment count. We do so by applying ourselves fully to the job at hand. That is easier to do
here than in my work. Though even there, I am highly effective at what I do. Could I do more? It seems
that we could always do more. However, if I were to do more, it would most likely be in the Beyond
Imagination expression. This is my true work. Though, to date, it has not been my paid work. Yes, I
would like this to change and I've been doing things towards that end. But, either I haven't been doing the
right things or I haven't allowed enough time for manifestation. If it is meant to be, it will happen. That
is certain. I need to be patient and allow the forces of the universe to work. In the meantime, I am to
continue doing as I am moved to do. Right now, that involves continuing with this expression. It seems
that I can do that indefinitely. It is only a matter of becoming receptive and putting in the time. The
words flow forth at a relatively constant rate ... 700 words per hours or so. It takes roughly 3 hours to
reach my 2000 word quota. It is not clear that we'll make it there today given that we have a three plus
hour drive home tonight. That's OK. I'll settle for whatever gets expressed. It is not like we have an
overall shortage of words. We have lots of material for 2003 Musings - Vol III already and still have
over 40 days left in the collection period. I estimate that we'll have another 500-600 page book as with
the first two volumes.

An ocean of words. That is what we have since the expression began. Is that too much for people to
consume? It shouldn't be. We've broken it up into manageable chunks. There are over a thousand
individual web pages at Beyond Imagination that vary in size from one page to as many as one hundred
printed pages. Over two thirds of the web pages are musings of 1.5 to 3 printed pages. Yes, that is a lot of
material. I've read all of it several times. Unfortunately even collectively, it is not clear that this is true
for everyone else combined. Why should that be? Why haven't we reached more people in nearly eleven
years of expression and eight years on the WWW? For one thing we haven't really done much advertising
or promotion. We've left it to the universe to bring people to the site. And we got the results that we got
as a result. I would have thought that word of mouth would have made more people aware of the site
with people who found it and deemed it valuable sharing the URL with their friends. That would have
suggested an exponential curve in site visits over the years. But until we started promoting this year, the
visits were not only linear, they were roughly constant.

145
Where will all of this lead? To wherever it is destined to lead. There is a spiritual destiny that is
manifesting in our lives. This is true for all of us. We are spiritual beings having a physical incarnation.
While we are physical we seem to forget who we truly are. Awakenings are bleedthroughs that help us to
remember our true nature. They do this by changing our awareness. They allow an increased flow of
consciousness through us. This can be channeled into any number of activities. Obviously, I channel it
into this expression. Any form of creative or loving expression is fine. Some channel it into relationships
... with family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. Others channel it into their work. Awareness and love
can transform any work into great work.

20 November 2003

Another day, another musing. We're rapidly closing on two months straight. It is amazing that we have
so much to say. Or is it? We've been quiet for so long that perhaps it is time that we speak out for a
change. Then again, that's what I've been doing with this expression for going on 11 years. Can it really
be that long already? One would have thought that I would have reached more people by now. One thing
is certain. The time has flown by faster than any other time in my life. Perhaps that is in part because I'm
getting older. However, a big part is simply that I've been busier. With a halftime spiritual job in addition
to working full time ... that doesn't leave a lot of free time. Overall, that is not important since the time
that I do have is used productively. I enjoy the spiritual job immensely. Further, I consider this
expression to be the most valuable part of my existence. Here I am doing something that may impact and
move others. There is great power in words when they are used effectively. I like to think that the words
coming forth through me are indeed effective. However, I only know what they do for me firsthand. I am
more conscious and more alive as a result of this expression. That is a lot of impact in and of itself. I
would hope that others are impacted in a similar manner. However, whether they are or not, this
expression has great value ... even if only to me. We shall see soon enough what value spirit places on it.
If my instincts are right, she will agree with me. And, the reward for providing services of great value is
unlimited abundance. So long as I continue to serve to the best of my abilities ... I will be abundant on all
levels of my life. However, we must remember to serve first. Everything begins with service. We create
a better society by serving one another better and taking care of each other. While we may be individuals,
we are also members of a society. If we focus too much on the individual, the society, the whole suffers.
If we focus too much on the society, particular individuals may not get what they need. The whole
objective is to meet needs. That is what spirit does, she meets needs wherever she finds them. As spirit
expressed in flesh, we have our part to play in this.

We continue to write word after word, an endless sequence that passes from the unknown to the known
before our very eyes. We do this because we can and because we must. We are moved by a force we
choose not to resist. It has been this way since the writings began on 5 March 1993. That is the day that
Beyond Imagination was born ... 34 days prior to my 35th birthday. I was excited by the expression. I
experienced it as a spiritual awakening, an opening of parts of myself that had been hidden before. Over
the next seven months I had a Beyond Mind experience that completely shattered much of what I believed
and most of what I thought that I knew. I still remember the excitement of those days as if it was
yesterday. I don't get as excited anymore. The medications keep me in check. I'm not completely sure
that is good. However, I've experienced what happens when I fail to take my meds for a lengthy period of
time. It landed me in the mental hospital for a second time and in many ways was more difficult to deal
with than the first time. In some ways I am still coming to grips with this second experience. Maybe I'll
never understand it completely. It seems that parts of life are meant to be mysteries despite our most
valiant efforts to understand them. Why is this coming up now? What has any of this to do 19 November
2003? We're 5 years and 7 months later given that the second episode came to a head in about this time in
April 1998. 5 x 365 + 7 x 30 = 1825 + 210 = 2035. I've thought my life would end around 2024-2028.

146
In 2035, I would be 77:The Falconer = CHRIST. Hmm ... This would increase my remaining life span
from 25 to 32:"I AM Race" years. How do I know this is lifespan related? It just seems to be a natural
connection. There is a reason that I was moved to bring this up today. And, following the stream of
consciousness led from one thing to the next to the next.

This is how information is unveiled in my life. Driving to work this morning, I wasn't paying much
attention. All of a sudden, I noticed that the car directly in front of me had 888 in its license plate.
Yesterday, a truck pulled in front of where I was parked. It had ZZZ, another form of 888, in its license
plate. The universe is trying to tell me that I am carrying out 2184 = 888(16) ... my mission. I've also
seen many variations of 2184 in the past few days. This generally means that something special is about
to happen. I'm anxious to see what it will be. What can I say. I don't make up what I see. Though, I
clearly filter and select what I see and pay attention to. We are free to see the world through any glasses
that we choose. However, we need to be careful not to conclude that what we see is the world. It is a
representation of it, a representation that is an approximation. It may be correct in some areas but is
probably woefully inadequate in other areas. Part of our challenge is to learn to detect the differences and
get the appropriate glasses through which to see the world in a way that is most effective for carrying out
our mission. This is distinct for each of us. Our worlds are not the same. They are not meant to be. They
may overlap and even intertwine in places ... but they are still distinct.

21 November 2003

Here we go again ... allowing consciousness to express through us as she will. I had to replace my VCR
today. The other one developed a power problem and wouldn't work anymore. I was amazed that the
price of a VCR was only $69. I was even more amazed that the price for a DVD player was $20 less than
that. However, I have a collection of videocassettes that I would like to play on occasion. Movies are one
of the luxuries that I allow myself. Even then I don't go out to movies very much, I don't rent movies very
often, and I only buy them occasionally. I try to buy movies that are good enough that I might want to
watch them more than once. And, with many of my movies, that is indeed the case. I also like my movies
to have spiritual messages. It is surprising how many movies contain these. Then again, the set of movies
that I watch are a select set. They aren't representative of what's available. I don't do horror, and rarely do
action/adventure or comedy. Nearly everything I watch is drama. Perhaps it is a substitute for something
missing from my life. There is something about movies. You suspend disbelief for two hours to allow a
set of images, music, and dialogue take you into a different world. It doesn't matter that it is only being
acted. While you are engaged in it, it feels real ... so much so that it can get your heart pumping and
move you emotionally and on occasion spiritually.

The days continue to march on. I have a two day work week coming up next week. Too bad they can't all
be like that. Actually, I don't mind working ... and even working long hours. I would just prefer to do it
on my own terms. I consider this expression my spiritual work. It would be great if I could be
compensated for it as my way of earning of livelihood. But how do I go from it would be great if to it is
so? That is a major jump that seems to be beyond my ability to make. However, if I don't control the
jump then how is it ever going to happen. It seems that we are more empowered than we know, each and
every one of us.

I sense that change is in the air again, major changes in many areas. Change is good. It gives us
something new to deal with in our lives. We need to be flexible enough to accommodate and even
embrace change for the many gifts that it offers. This past century is a case in point. The world at the end
of the century was a very different place than the world at the beginning of the century. Technology went
through incredible advances. The airplane gave many people access to more of the world than had ever

147
been visited before. Literally, within hours one can traverse distances that took days or even weeks
before. The personal computer has opened up whole new realms of efficiency in performing white collar
work. The internet and low priced personal computers has allowed more people to connect throughout
the world than was ever possible before. This very expression could not have reached you in this manner
as few as a dozen years ago. It took the WWW, web browsers, and appropriate tools to create web pages
to allow all of this to manifest. Even web browsers have come a long way in the past decade. I still use
Netscape primarily. However, some pages require Internet Explorer to function properly. One of the
benefits of Netscape is Composer. That is the tool that I use to create all of this. I type directly into
composer so the expression automatically comes out as web pages.

What would I do next? Five simple words. Yet, the answer is illusive. I do what I am moved to do in the
moment. What matters is what is right in front of me to do here and now. Naturally that will lead to
whatever is next. It is best to take things one step at a time and trust that you will be shown the next step
once you finish taking the present one. This is the Way of the 0:Fool in the Tarot. He knows that there is
always room for one more step, no matter how close to the edge of the cliff he gets. We have been to the
edge of the cliff many times ... indeed, to the very edge of sanity. However, we have also flown to great
heights of spirit. Twice we have crossed the boundary of what was deemed to be sane. Both times it took
about ten days to get back on the road to recovery and 3 months of medical absence to be ready for work
again. It seems that twice is sufficient. We learned our lesson and now take our medications daily. It is
amazing that a few pills per day can alter the brain chemistry in a manner that allows us to function in the
world. Note, I didn't say in a manner that makes us normal. We still fly in consciousness in a variety of
manic states. This is not normal behavior. Though, in my case, it seems to be a mark of awakened
behavior. Yes, I consider myself to be awakened. It took a lot of work to get there. But, ultimately it was
a lightning bolt from spirit that took me beyond mind that allowed me to see in whole new ways and
realize that I was more than an actor in this drama ... I was an observer as well. This was a giant leap, one
that allowed all that has been expressed in this stream of consciousness to come forth. I still have not
fully got in touch with the creator part of myself. I believe that it exists, but it still operates on other than
conscious levels in my life. It just struck me that evidence of this creator self is in this very expression. It
is clearly not the actor doing this. The observer watches ... it doesn't create anything. Creative expression
comes from spirit through the creator part of ourself. So, it has been staring me in the face all along. But,
how do I apply it in a manner that allows me to create things in my life? Is that even what I want to do?
Be careful what you wish for. What you create, you are responsible for. That is OK. I have no fear of
responsibility.

22 November 2003

Another day, another musing. This makes 2 + 31 + 22 = 55 straight and counting. I like seeing the
consistency and the regularity of expression. There is something special about what comes forth here.
These are not your ordinary words ... or my ordinary words for that matter. These words spring from a
higher source, from a higher consciousness. Yet, in a very real way, I am that consciousness. However, at
the same time, it is more than what I know myself to be. How do I know this? I just know. The
knowingness comes from the core of my being.

It's curious that we have 55 on the 11/22 day. That's three master numbers, even more if you include
combinations:

11, 22, 33, 55, 66, 77, 88

148
Everything through 88 except for 44. That should make the day quite special. It started with a big mess
in the pool. The wind blew hard all night and the pool was filled with dirt and leaves. Then the pool
cleaner got hung up on a rock, resulting in $60 damage in addition to $30 in other parts that had to be
replaced. It is not clear we've made it to the special part of the day yet. Then again, that is what we come
here for. This expression makes every day we engage in it a special day. What is expressed becomes a
permanent part of history ... a record of consciousness in action. It will be interesting to see what impact
this expression ultimately has. I see its impact on me firsthand. But, there is a strong sense that it is
meant to impact others in a similar way. We have yet to see feedback that shows this. We don't know
how many people are finding and reading the Beyond Imagination expression. We have a few counters
on key pages that allow us to gauge traffic, but none of these are on the Musings page. For the past
several years, and especially for the past two years, the Musings page is where the latest expression has
been generated. Here I come day after day to bring forth a stream of consciousness. For some reason, it
is important that I capture and share this stream. It is meant to be an example of what is possible. And, if
I can do such as this ... what can you do of equal importance in your life? I'm sure there is something. It
is a matter of seeking it and finding it. That you can do at anytime. It is a matter of learning to look
within for answers to what you seek. Or inner self is wise beyond measure. It is simply a matter of
allowing it to guide us. Too many people fight the inner self and insist on doing things their way. This
can work at times. However, why fight with such an important part of us? It seems far easier to
cooperate and trust that it knows what it telling us. In 11 years, I have not known this inner self to steer
me wrong. I haven't always followed its guidance ... not the first time around anyway. But, eventually I
see the light and abide by the guidance. One could do far worse than to have a personal guide in one's
life.

Just checked the word count. It was 555, a master number of a different type ... in this case, a triple. We
are familiar with triples. I have one associated with me, 2184 = 888(16). This country was founded in
1776 = 16 x 111 = 2 x 888. The year 1998 = 2 x 999 = 18 x 111 was the last major triple year. That was
the year of my second experience beyond the realm of consensus reality. It was far stranger than the first
... though it took similar time in the hospital and the same amount of time in a medical leave of absence to
deal with the reality that I was creating. There are still things about that time that I haven't fully
integrated. Perhaps I never will. Life is meant to be experienced, not necessarily understood. We
experience exactly what we need to experience. How do I know this? Because we are creating it all,
every aspect, every detail. We are choosing exactly what we need to experience. Most of us do the
choosing on other than conscious levels. Does that mean we don't really choose? If I choose and am not
aware of it, am I really choosing? Even if I'm aware of choosing, how do I know that I am in fact
choosing? After all, we are never given the opportunity to go back and make a different choice. How do
we know that the choices we seem to make are not scripted in advance ... and that we just experience the
choices that are meant to be made? The bottom line is that we don't know. This is a possibility, maybe
even a likely one. But, what about all the hoopla about free will? What about it? What is wrong with
living in a world where the things that matter most are destined to happen? There is a spiritual destiny
unfolding in each of our lives. It is unfolding whether we believe in God or not and whether we believe
in spirit or not. We are spiritual beings having a physical incarnation. There is no way to escape our
spiritual nature. We can hide from it, and we can try to deny it. But, that will only succeed for so long.
At some point we come to realize who we are ... and once we do, we are never the same again. That is
what self-realization is all about. As far as I know, there is no methodical path to awakening. Yes, there
are many things that one can study and learn, but awareness is elusive. It takes a singularity, a breakpoint,
to make the leap to higher awareness. I can lead you to the water of consciousness ... and provide
examples of what an aware being is able to express. But, these only point the way. You have to find what
works for you. You have to take the leap of faith and trust the guidance you receive from within. It
would be great if I could say that if you follow steps 1 through 10 you will reach enlightenment. Perhaps
there are some who can do that. I, however, am not such a teacher. Though, I know that you too are

149
capable of doing all that I have done and more. It is a matter of desire, discipline, listening, trusting, and
acting.

23 November 2003

The consecutive musings continue. Each day we are moved to come here to express. And, each day we
do as we are moved. As we do so, this expression gets created. It is a stream of consciousness. As such,
what comes forth each day is different than the rest. Also, if we miss a day, we have no clue as to what
goes unexpressed. It may be that the stream just picks up where it left off regardless of the length of time
between musings. But, something about that doesn't seem right. There is a sense that opportunity is
involved here. And, if it is not taken, it is lost. That is part of the motivation for the directive to make the
most of each moment ... and by doing so, the most of each day. For me, this expression still constitutes
making the most of my day. Yes, it is that important. To me, but hopefully to others as well. That still
means doing what it takes to acquaint others with the Beyond Imagination material. Here I am on new
ground. Advertising and dealing with others are not my strongest suits. In fact, my preference is to not
do either if I could carry out my mission otherwise. However, I believe I am meant to be working closely
with others. Not a lot of others, but at least a few others. How will I find them, or how will they find
me? It seems that we need a condensed form of the Beyond Imagination material that could provide a
good introduction. Several weeks ago, I completed a short introduction of about four pages. That is a
start. But, we need to be able to address what next. That means either pointing people to appropriate
pages, or generating a new page that conveys what we want to communicate. At this point, I opt for the
later though I may change my mind once I get into it.

We are moved by a source that we can't even explain. Naming something is not the same as explaining it
or knowing it. The label does not equal the thing. The label doesn't even describe the nature of the thing.
Yet, as a society and a species, that is what we often do ... we name things. We know that the name is not
the thing, but many often forget this. They prefer to live in a world where they seem to know more than
they do. This is easy to do. It is easy to be deceived for so long as we will allow it. But, there is a way
out of the illusion into the brightness of spirits light once again. We need to be careful about the
assumptions that we make. We need to be humble of character. We need to be appreciative of all that
spirit brings into our lives. We need to watch those things that we know about versus those things that we
truly know. There is a difference. We can live a conscious life full of meaning. We can just as easily live
an other than conscious life with similar fullness of meaning. What matters is to realize the spiritual
beings that we are. More than that, we need to be and express this as well. That can be difficult to do at
times. But the challenge is more than worth it in the end. Life is a training ground and a playground for
spirit. This is where spirit is able to express physically. But, she can't do this on her own, she can only be
physical through us. This has been true for untold ages. We are the vessels through which spirit
expresses in flesh. It is for us to do what we can open the channel so that we can allow the clearest
expression of which we are capable. This is far more than the vast majority have ever imagined. We will
be amazed by what we will be able to do when spirit works through us. It will be truly phenomenal. It
will indeed. In-deed, it is in the deeds that we do that we make a difference in our lives.

In the end, it is our works, what we do, that distinguishes us. There are many things that we can do with
our lives. It is the things that are most aligned with spirit that matter most to me. Then again, I'm sure
that doesn't surprise you if you've spent any time with the Beyond Imagination works. It seems that
greater works than these are yet to be accomplished. My sense is that they will be something more than
words. Though, there is nothing wrong with words. In fact, we've expressed over 3 million of them since
1993. Words have the power to move us to action. The right words at the right time have the power to
change the world. What makes it so important that I have world import? It is almost as if such is the only

150
way to give my life the meaning it is due. But, I'm only one person out of six billion people in the world.
Why do I push myself so hard? I've said before that spirit is a slavedriver. But, I say that in a loving sort
of way. She pushes me to bring out the best in me. Yes, it is hard at times. But, it is worth it. I can't
imagine having gone through the past 11 years without this expression there to anchor and to guide me. I
have yet to find anyone outside of me that is truly able to help me to integrate all that I have experienced.
I have been a soul in the midst of an extended spiritual awakening. Only, I wasn't given any idea about
what this would entail. Further, what help I did receive did not buy the spiritual awakening explanation.
The diagnosis was bipolar or manic/depressive illness. I still don't know how that can be given that I
haven't experienced being depressed. In some respects, I'm lucky. Mania is far easier and more fun to
take. For me, the experience is one of soaring in consciousness. There is an increased feeling of being
able to do anything that I choose to do.

24 November 2003

We'll do something different today. I had to answer some interview questions regarding some of my
work. I thought it appropriate to capture the responses since they were essentially stream of
consciousness just as this expression is. They provide you with some insight as to who I am and why I
write that is different than I have expressed before.

BOOKS & AUTHORS: Q&A [BEYOND IMAGINATION]

1. Where did you grow up and was reading and writing a part of your life?

WH: I grew up in Southern California. My dad was in the Navy, so we moved nearly every year until
about the eighth grade. Being shy, this made it difficult for me to form any real friendships. So, I
retreated into the world of books. My first love was science fiction. In 1974, at age 16, I discovered
metaphysics and began a love affair that lasts to this very day. From 1974-1993, I estimate that I read
over 1000 metaphysical books. As to writing, I did the normal writing in school, and was good at it
overall but I was not moved to write my own material until 5 March 1993. On that day, a switch went off
inside me, and all of a sudden I became a metaphysical information generator.

Who were your earliest influences and why?

WH: Plato’s Dialogues, The Seth Material, Paul Twitchell, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and Pirzig’s Zen and
the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance caused a giant leap in my consciousness at age 16. I encountered all
of these at about the same time. They taught me things that were unlike anything I was learning in
school. The Seth Material by Jane Roberts was particular mind-blowing. It is still among the best
channeled material ever brought forth. It is the standard by which to judge such expression. This focus
on such “extraordinary” material also led to increased isolation because there was no one in my life that I
could talk to about these things. In many ways, that is still the case for much that I experience.

2. Why do you write?

WH: This one is simple. I write because I am moved by spirit to write. There is an inner need to capture
the stream of consciousness that is able to flow from spirit through me. Even after close to eleven years,
there is no sense that I do this consciously. Rather, there is an other than conscious part of me that
receives information from my intuition and passes it on as a stream of consciousness. I would guess that
over three million words have come forth to date. And, there is no sense that they are going to stop
anytime soon. I have no basis for comparing how and why I write to how and why others write. I only

151
know that this is part of carrying out the mission that I came to carry out. Capturing this expression
provides an example of what consciousness is capable of if we set her free to express in our lives. Also, I
write because this is one of my strongest natural abilities as revealed in my astrology chart and aura.

3. Please explain your books BEYOND IMAGINATION: THE EARLY WORKS & BEYOND
IMAGINATION: BEST PASSAGES FROM 2002 MUSINGS -- These are a collection of your personal
thoughts and musings - What motivated you to publish them?

WH: Personal thoughts and musings may be a bit of a misnomer. Yes, this material can get personal.
And, yes, it did come through me. However, it is not even clear to me that the material is “by me”. The
Beyond Imagination books for the most part are stream of consciousness expressions. I try not to get in
the way of what is expressed. Clearly, I do not control what is expressed sentence to sentence, much less
paragraph to paragraph and musing to musing. The Early Works is the only work written as a traditional
book with chapters and a focused message. It includes the Beyond Imagination book that provides a good
introduction to what Beyond Imagination is; Reality Creation 1010, a channeled work addressing an
important metaphysical topic in a new way; and a selection of Best Quotes from the first year of Beyond
Imagination. Best Passages from 2002 Musings is just what it says. 304 musings were generated on
different days in 2002. This book captures the best of that expression in an attempt to share it with an
audience. The material is quote rich and deals primarily with how consciousness, how spirit expresses in
flesh.

I choose to publish the books to make the material available to a wider audience than the Beyond
Imagination web site [http://www.redshift.com/~beyond] was drawing. Many people prefer the
convenience of a book to screen after screen of information. In 2003, we have published most of the
material expressed at the Beyond Imagination site in a series of eight books that span a ten year period of
expression.

4. BEYOND IMAGINATION: THE EARLY WORKS & BEYOND IMAGINATION: BEST PASSAGES
FROM 2002 MUSINGS are original as you don't see too many published books like these - In the decade
of reality television do you feel this may be a literary genre that may get more attention?

WH: That was my take as well. When the Beyond Imagination material started coming forth, it was
unlike anything that I had ever read. I couldn’t get enough of it. However, I also know myself to be a
wayshower. So, early on I knew that this material was meant to be shared. It didn’t matter how personal
it was. It didn’t matter that I effectively operated as a hermit. At some level we are ONE. At that level,
all that any of us experience, we all experience. For me, it was a simple matter to make a conscious
choice and share all of this with others. There are people doing journals and blogs and making these
available for others, but I don’t see that being the same thing. We’ll have to see what interest people have
in such works before we know for certain what kind of impact they will ultimately have. I see this as
different from reality TV because that is dealing with how people respond to specific situations. Here, we
see what consciousness says about the nature of reality, reality creation, consciousness, awareness, spirit
and the like. These are topics typically left to philosophers and academics. However, these are things that
we all experience directly everyday. As such, they are universally applicable.

5. What do you feel your books contribute to the reader? Why should a reader buy and read your books?

WH: The chief contribution to the reader is to provide an example of an aware consciousness confronting
its reality. This is more than guidance. This provides an opportunity to walk in my consciousness and see
the world as I do for awhile, a long while if the reader so chooses. My hope is that in so doing, the
readers will be led to expanded awareness in and of their own. There is a lot of Beyond Imagination
material to experience. There is a difference between telling someone something and taking them on a
152
journey into the realms of consciousness. It is the journey that makes the difference. We would hope that
readers would buy and read our books to do just this … to experience the journey and to expand their
awareness as a result.

6. What do you feel is the difference from "Musings" and entries from a personal diary?

WH: I don’t have any experience with a personal diary. Though, I would imagine that the chief
difference is the nature of the material due to the source from which it comes. It seems that a diary would
be the ego’s way of writing down and dealing with it experience. The Beyond Imagination expression,
including the Musings, comes from a deeper source that I reach through my intuition. I believe the source
to come from consciousness/spirit directly. For one thing, I would not expect a diary to be so full of
quote-rich material. Yes, that is one of the things that still amazes me to this day … that there could be so
many good quotes contained in the expression.

7. What has been your feedback from readers?

WH: So far it has been positive overall. Though, there has not been a lot of feedback to date. I
encourage more. Feedback is one way we learn whether our actions are hitting the mark or not. It is
extremely important to the functioning of society, especially if we expect to improve anything within that
society.

8. What's next?

WH: More books, of course. In addition to the eight Beyond Imagination books published to date, we
have another three or four planned for 2004 depending on how spirit moves us. Also, we expect to
outreach more and try to make a lot more people aware of the Beyond Imagination works and our mission
of building the foundations for a new world in which spirit can more fully express in flesh.

9. What was the last book you read?

WH: The Monk who Sold his Ferrari. It is a wonderful little book, full of spiritual meaning. It is
packaged in a story format that is brilliant and timeless. Actually, that is not quite the last book. I’ve read
several of my own again since than.

10. Do you have any hobbies? What are they? How do they enhance your writing?

WH: My chief hobbies are reading, writing, and numerology. I spent over 20 years reading extensively
in metaphysics before I ever sat down to write. Numerology has opened a whole new realm of spiritual
meaning that mathematics and logic completely ignored. Math was my favorite subject in school. It
seems only appropriate that I would find an intuitive “art” that used the same symbol set to uncover
spiritual meaning via numbers. I actually vary this a bit by tying the numbers to Tarot symbology. The
reading opens me up to new ideas from others. The numerology and tarot opens me up to signs from
spirit. Both are reflected in what I am moved to write, though usually indirectly.

END OF INTERVIEW.

It was interesting to have to focus on questions from someone else. Also, I noticed that the pace was quite
a bit faster than for normal musings. There is no reason that I couldn't use a similar format and ask myself
sets of questions. Though there is something about responding to others that gets the creative juices
flowing differently. This is what increased interaction with others could bring into my life. There is a

153
sense that this is exactly what I need. The timing is perfect somehow. I am ready to jump into a new
reality. I am ready to be different in order to experience differently. It is one thing to say that. It is quite
another to back it with action in our lives. Yet, it is ultimately our actions that count. What we do makes
all of the difference.

Hmm ... perhaps we can try an experiment for December and use questions to guide the expression and
see where that leads us. We already have 302 musings for the year, only two shy of last years record. It is
time for something new. Also, this can help lead into whatever changes are in store for the expression in
2004. We need more focus. Questions are a way to get that. However, hopefully we will not find this to
be as difficult as taming a wild river. We have been so used to free expression of this stream of
consciousness that there could be some resistance. Though, I did not find that to be the case at all today.
Perhaps we are being concerned over things that we have no need to be concerned about. That wouldn't
be the first time. Though, I am not the worrier type. I trust the universe to provide me with the
experiences that I need to learn and to grow and to be and express whom that I am.

25 November 2003

I liked what we did yesterday. It is too bad we can't be interviewed by others more often. The questions
provide some structure ... yet still allow great freedom in how we address them. We can still respond in a
stream of consciousness fashion, even to questions that are about my personal life. It is interesting that it
works that way. But, the writing process is automatic for me. It is not something that I have to think
about doing. I just do it and am amazed by what comes forth. Yes, even after over ten years. In fact, just
last night I was commenting on material that I wrote in June of 1993, just three months after the writing
began. It literally blew me away to see what I was experiencing and expressing. It takes a lot to do that.
I have the fortunate job of integrating how all of this could come forth through me. I don't need to explain
it. I just need to accept and integrate it with my concepts of whom that I am. For one thing, I am the
being through whom this expression can come. That alone says alot about my level of awareness and my
mission to serve on a grand scale in this existence. I don't believe in starting small. That works for some.
But, in my case it seems that a bigger leap of faith is required. Much that I say cannot be proven one way
or another. It falls legitimately in the realm of belief. The only true measure of beliefs is their utility. Do
they serve us and those we touch?

How would I change the world? To start with, I would work on building better foundations that permit
spirit to be more fully expressed in flesh. This requires spiritual foundations to our government,
economic, educational, and even religious organizations. Yes, even religious organizations have gone
astray from basic spiritual principles. Part of this is because they don't truly empower their members.
Spirituality ought to be a way of life for everyone. Without it at the core, civilization is lost. No, this
does not mean everyone needs to join a religion and go to church each week. We can embed spiritual
principles everywhere in our lives. If we truly look, we will find that they are already there. They can't
help but to be. We are all spiritual beings having a physical experience. As such, our real nature is
spiritual. It has always been thus, and will always be thus. It can be no other way. One thing absent in
our current society is a viable definition of what equality is and what that entitles us to. In nearly every
aspect of our lives things are unequal: talents, abilities, income, possessions, education, jobs,
responsibilities, opportunities, etc ... So, in what respects are we created equal? We are all souls
enfleshed. We are all here to create our reality, and by so doing to learn who we are, and to do whatever
tasks that we are destined to do. How can I speak of creating reality and destiny in the same breadth?
Aren't these two concepts opposed to one another? Perhaps they are to some degree. However I don't see
it that way. I see our destiny as being chosen by our soul ... so ultimately we choose it at an other than
conscious level. It is not clear what options are available within that overall destiny framework that

154
provides opportunity for conscious choice. The bottom line is that it doesn't change how I live my life
whether I have conscious choice or not. I live my life trying to do the right thing at each point. I don't
always succeed, but I generally learn from my failures. I believe that all of us are doing this. All of us are
doing the best we can under the circumstances that we find ourselves. What most fail to consider is that
they have attracted these very circumstances into their lives. If we knew this and knew how we did it, we
might be able to change what we experience. The biggest leverage points for creating this change are our
beliefs and how we interpret the meaning of what we experience. If we can sit back and be the observer
for awhile, we will be amazed at the insight we can gain as to how the process works. This is a process of
discovery. If you haven't become used to it yet, I highly advise that you enter the observer state on a
regular basis ... the more you can do it the better. At first you may find you have to quiet your mind and
cease any activity to allow you to do it. But, eventually, you will find that this is a concurrent activity that
you can engage in even as you go through your day to day business. As you do so, you will be more
aware of what is happening both to you and around you. This includes seeing insight coming from inner
sources.

From each according to their abilities,


to each according to their needs.

I've said before that we need a social contract, a sacred commitment that we make to one another that
defines what we are expected to give to society and what in turn we can expect from society. Pure
communism offers the clearest expression of this contract that has been expressed to date. Actually, this is
only the economic part of the contract.

Be Kind and Do Good!

This is another directive that expresses a more spiritual component that addresses how we interact with
others. Everything starts with kindness. That is key to creating a better world. Doing good, doing what
we know to be right is also important.

Do as thou will, so long as ye harm no one.

This is another one. It comes from Wicca. It has been around for a long time. It permits a freedom of
expression so long as it is not to the detriment of others or oneself. There is something added to this to
the effect that "this be the whole of the law".

Never take more than you give!

This one is from The Lion King. It succinctly states how to achieve abundance in society. If everyone
gives more than they take, there is always a positive balance. There is always a surplus. In a service
focused world, there are always new services that can be created and provided to society. This is an open
ended game that we are playing. If we do it right, the surpluses should be able to allow us all to live as
kings.

I figured out that I'm into publishing this expression to the tune of over $4000 dollars this year, not
counting the cost of a computer on which to do the work. That's a tidy sum. What do I have to show for
it? I have eight published books and three more in varying stages of completion. In addition, I have an
advertising package for the first book published and another advertising page being created for the
Beyond Imagination books at another site. Actually, that is a lot for the money, especially when you
consider my equivalent labor cost to express the material and to generate the books exceeded 5000 hours
or $250,000. That's in the range of $30,000 per book to cover my time at the current rate that I am paid.
It is interesting when you look at it like that. Will the works ultimately compensate me for their
155
generation? Hopefully they will do this handsomely. But, that is not why I created them in the first
place. Yes, it was one of the motivations for publishing the books. But, since the beginning, I have
expressed because I was moved to express without regard to where it would ultimately lead. I do this
because I love doing it. I do this because I am moved by spirit to express in this way. However, that is
not enough for me anymore. I would prefer to earn my livelihood doing what I love to do. Yet, at my job,
I also use talents and abilities that are natural for me. I enjoy using these as well. However, it is as if I
live in two different worlds ... in many ways. For one thing, my workweek world and my weekend world
are completely different and don't interact. In fact, they are 120 miles apart. For another thing, my work
world and my spiritual world are completely different. They involve different people and use very
different talents and abilities.

I'm the glue that somehow holds this thing that is my life together. I can definitely think of better ways to
live. But, I don't yet know how to make it so other than following where spirit leads me and trusting that
along the way and in the end I will be exactly where I am meant to be. I trust that there is a destiny
playing itself out in my life. I've known this for many years ... long before this expression began. Where
it will lead is not important. That it will lead me to carry out my mission in life is all that counts. Unlike
many others, I did not come to simply taste of the fruits of earthly delights. That was not enough to draw
me back. I came to play a particular role during the transition of an age. In this case, the transition is
from the Piscean to the Aquarian age. What does that really mean? That's what we have astrologers for.
They know the characteristics of these two signs and how they differ from one another. Since ages last
over 2000 years, we don't really have a history that would tell us what to expect. In fact, this particular
transition last occurred over 25,000 years ago ... well before any recorded history that I know about.
However, each year we go from Aquarius to Pisces in the last week of February. So we have a similar
transition in reverse on a local scale. Even so, this should give us a strong hint of what is to come. I've
read enough astrology books that you might think that I would have a clue by now. However, my
memory is such that I forget things as soon as I read them ... perhaps even faster sometimes. Oh, I trust
that it all goes into my mind and is captured somehow. I just don't have the methods necessary to access
it consciously. Further, in my 45 years of existence to date, I have found that my mind functions perfectly
adequately. I believe the fact that my mind is a blank slate so much of the time is the very reason that this
expression is able to come forth as it does. The stream of consciousness must have a place that it can go
for it to be expressed. I've chosen to allow that to be my mind and my consciousness.

Why me? If not me, who? It seems that someone has to do what I do. Someone has to allow spirit to
express in this way. Someone has to be a wayshower and show people what is possible. I can do that just
as well as anyone. Though, I must do it in my own way. There are others who can speak and lecture. It
is not clear that such is for me. My forte is what you see here ... the written word. This is what I do. This
is how I express. In fact, this is my preferred mode of interaction with others. There is something about
the anonymity. Though that is only partial. My name, my e-mail address, and even my home address can
be found at the Beyond Imagination site. I encourage contact and feedback. I don't really care whether it
is positive and constructive or not at this point. I'm just looking for something that tells me how this
expression impacts you.

26 November 2003

What can we say? This makes 59 straight days of musing. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day however. It
may not be so easy to find the time to express here. We'll just have to see how it goes. I believe this also
ties last years record of 304 musings for a year. And, we still have over a month remaining. We've started
back on the annotations to Beyond Mind. I have many days of vacation at the end of the year. If things
go well I should be also be able to complete 2003 Musings - Vol III by the first or second week in

156
January. The thing that takes the most time is the proofing. However, it is a necessary chore to make the
books as professional as I can before they are published.

So, what would we express today? We never really know what is going to come forth from
consciousness. Listening to a tape by Wayne Dyer on Higher Awareness, one thing struck me deeply.
Something to the effect that the voice from intuition is God's way of speaking to us. Much of what is
expressed here is just that, intuition coming through. I don't know how else to explain it. It just happens.
The voice from inside just appears in my head. I liken myself to a scribe of old. Only my consciousness
is a bit more involved in the process. It is curious that all of this would come forth through me. I can
only conclude that it is destined. When I am doing it, I know that this is clearly one of the things that I am
on the planet to do. It may well be the most important work of my life. Yes, I already know this. There is
something special about this expression. That has been clear from the very beginning. I consider myself
fortunate to be in this position. The role that I came to play is not your usual role.

From the quantity of this expression, you can tell that I've been listening to the inner voice a lot. As a
strong introvert, that seemed to be the natural thing to do. I don't know how others experience this. It
seems that extroverts might have a much more difficult time at this. Then again, that may just be the way
it is. It takes all kinds to make the world go round as they say. At some level we are ONE. So, what I do
others can benefit from directly. What I do, I do not for me alone. This is a service to spirit that I
perform. My hope is that it would benefit many before my time on the planet is done. But, it may be that
this expression is before its time. It may or may not be. We'll just have to see how things unfold.

What would I do differently in my life in the coming year? It seems that it is time for outreach. It is time
to get more involved in the lives of others ... at a deep personal level. Can that happen? Indeed it can. I
feel that I am ready for this, that somehow this is the next step. It seems that we will see soon enough.
The new year arrives in just over a month. That seems to be the perfect time for the next major transition
to occur. I'm curious as to what my life will be like in the coming year. Though, if the past is any
indication, I will not know until it happens. Though, I trust that I will be pleasantly surprised regardless.
There is something else that Wayne Dyer talked about ... the wake does not drive the boat. It is the
present motoring that determines where the boat goes next. The wake is the past history, the trail that is
left behind. That is important to remember ... we need to leave the wake behind us and fix our gaze on
where we choose to go next.

Life is an adventure in consciousness. There are two key points here. One, life is an adventure. And,
two, life is lived in consciousness. Neither of these points were made by any teacher I had in my formal
17+ years of schooling. Why is that? Why are the most important things about life not taught to us in
school? What else is the education system for, if not to teach such things? But, I did learn them anyway.
However, only because I was open-minded and persistent ... and because I encountered and fell in love
with metaphysics so early in my life. I can't imagine having lived my life without this strong
metaphysical influence. Clearly, it would not have been the same. The sense is that I would not have
been able to express all that has come forth since March of 1993 without this element in my life. I would
simply have not been ready to assume the role that I am playing in all of this. Metaphysics prepared me
for the life that I now lead. However, it did so in some strange ways. I was ready to experience what I
did in 1993, otherwise I would not have survived intact. Yet, I was not ready from the sense that I had no
real clue as to what to expect when it was happening and it literally pushed me off of the deep end. My
sanity was stretched to its limits ... to the point where it took a three month medical leave of absence to
become functional again. I experienced that again in 1998, and was beginning to think this was on a 4.5
to 5 year cycle. But we got through 2002 and 2003 to date intact with no further episodes. Part of that is
due to taking my medications every day. That limits the excursions of my consciousness. Does it need to
be that way? All that I know is that I don't really want to test it again. The last episode was much more
difficult to deal with than the first. I don't need a third strike at this point.
157
Overall, the bipolar condition has been good for me from what I can tell. The mania allows my
consciousness to soar to great heights and bring back some of what it finds. That is what this expression
is all about. There is a reason that this expression is called Beyond Imagination for truly that is what we
are dealing with, things that are beyond imagination. I know that is true for me anyway. I had no basis
for imagining that any of this was possible for me anyway. I had been exposed to channeling many times
and had studied the Seth material for nearly twenty years. However, it didn't occur to me that I could be a
metaphysical information generator. Also, it was surprising that the expression started up so suddenly.
There really wasn't any warning. Then again, with anything that starts, the beginning is going to be
sudden. In 1998, the expression virtually came to a halt for nearly four years only to pick up again on 1
January 2002 at a pace and a frequency that was beyond anything expressed before. We are still engaged
in this heightened expression today. In fact, we have over 600 musings in close to 700 days. That is a lot
of musings for two years. When we add the musings through the rest of the year we will have generated
four sizeable books from these alone. It will be interesting to see whether we are moved to continue in
this manner into next year. The sense is that it is time to do something different. However, at this point it
is not yet clear what that is to be. Though I have no doubt the time is coming soon when I will know. I'll
have to. Whatever it is, I will be doing it.

How can I not have a clue as to what I will be doing in one month? One month ... I don't know what I
will be doing in the next week or even the next day for that matter except in very general terms. I live my
life in the moment, doing as I am moved to do in the moment. The expression that is my life is very
similar to this expression. It just flows moment by moment. I have no need to plan anything. What I
need to do next is obvious and natural. I just don't know what it is before it is time to do it. In many
respects, it seems that I have no choice. I do what I must do. That is the story of my life. But, it is
particularly true since this expression began. I get a lot of guidance from this material. Much of it seems
applicable to others as well. That is part of my motivation for sharing all of this. There is a sense that in
so doing, I am performing a service, a very important service to society. How great of a service remains
to be seen. We won't know until we see the impact that this expression has. Clearly, it has made a big
difference in my life. I would hope that it would do this in the lives of others as well. However, whether
it does or not, that does not deter me from doing what I am moved to do. We have no right to be
concerned with outcomes. Those are in spirits hands. It is for us to do what we must do to the best of our
abilities. Actually this may be overstating things. Sometimes good enough is good enough. We don't
have to get everything perfect. This is especially true for things that we don't like doing. However, even
then we need to make sure that what we do is indeed good enough.

28 November 2003

Indeed, as we thought ... we finally missed a day of musing. Thanksgiving Day was too full with
preparation and family to find any time to express. So, the streak ended at 59 days. Oh well, we knew it
had to end sometime. Holidays are appropriate times for taking a break. I believe this makes musing
number 306 for the year. We should easily make it to 330 at our present pace even if we take some days
off around Christmas. That comes to close to an equivalent of 11 full months of musings. Why do I need
to express so much? I just do. I am moved to do it by a force that I choose not to resist. How long will
that last? I really have no way of knowing. However long it is, I need to take advantage of the energy
that is coming forth. There is something special about stream of consciousness expression ... especially
when it comes through the intuition. This is our tie to source, to the spirit within ... even to the ONE.

What next? I ask that question nearly everyday. But, there is no answer that is forthcoming other than to
do what I am moved to do; which, right now is to engage in this expression. Word after word flows forth.
It is all still magical. The creative process that generates all of this works almost automatically. I just

158
have to show up and participate. I choose to do this regularly because I can and because it feels good.
There is something special about creative expression. I am grateful that I am engaged in it as often as I
am. I definitely feel blessed that I could be doing this. It is not clear what comes next, however. Though,
there is a strong sense that it is to be different than anything that I have done to date. That is OK.
Different is good. It is time for a change. I anxiously await what will manifest next in my life. It doesn't
matter what it is. I know that whatever it is will be both good and right. You have to be grateful for what
you already have before you have any chance of obtaining more abundance in your life. That is how the
laws of manifestation work. Gratitude helps create the vacuum needed to draw more of anything into our
lives.

I’m tired today. But, it is very important to express again. So, I choose to express. Here, I am free to
allow consciousness to bring forth whatever she will. I don't know how else to explain it. The expression
comes through me, but definitely is not of me. How can I know that for certain? Do I not turn it on and
off at will? Yes, but how is that any different than me turning on a water faucet? I control the flow of the
water but I don't create the water. So it is with this expression as well. I don't create the water of
consciousness. It just shows up and flows where it will. Usually, the expression is able to pick me up and
energize me. However, it doesn't seem to be doing that today, not yet anyway. That's OK. We'll take
whatever comes.

What does it take to be happy? Is that a choice that we are free to make at any time? If so, why does it
seem to elude so many people for so much of their lives? I know that I personally find it illusive. Much
of the time I feel more numb than happy. However, that seems to result from the choices I am making.
Change your choices, change your reality. What is it that I desire in my life. More or better possessions
would be nice, but they do not motivate me to act. Relationships would be nice, but do I truly want to do
what it takes to end my hermit ways? It seems that this will be required in the years to come if I am to
carry out my mission. Then again ... who knows? The sense is that we are not meant to be solitary
individual beings. At some level, we are all ONE. And, at that level we can address each other as parts of
the same whole. Not as distinct parts, rather as interrelated parts. In fact, we will be amazed at just how
interrelated we find ourselves to be.

A blank mind, a clear conscience, an aware consciousness ... these three things are important to the
expression of spirit in flesh. Unfortunately, these three things are not easy to achieve. Or, more correctly,
they haven't been easy to achieve. In fact, it has taken spiritual masters to do this. That is no longer the
case. Such states do not require the discipline of spiritual masters. They can be reached by the
extraordinary folks that walk among us. I was going to say ordinary ... but it is not clear that such have
found the way to these states. The mind struggles constantly not to be blank. Many do not listen to their
conscience. And, awareness is easier said than experienced. Having all three of these at once is a major
mark of distinction.

What does it take to develop a blank mind? I don't really know. Mine has been blank for some time.
That is what allows this expression to come forth. It is as if my mind is a blank slate and consciousness
fills it up. When I express, I erase what is on the slate so that more can come forth. The slate seems very
limited in my case. My memory of what passes through is limited at best. What saves me is knowing that
the expression is captured and that I don't have to remember it to be able to experience it again. However,
what I don't know is whether the expression is repeating itself. Unless I compare different sections to one
another, I simply have no insight other than a deja vu feeling that we have been here before.

29 November 2003

159
One more day and November is history. It's wonderful having days off from work. However, I haven't
really been free to engage in this expression much less continue with the annotations for Beyond Mind.
We'll have to get into our regiment again on Monday. That is OK. Things get done when they get done.
There is no timetable of which I am aware to any of this. We do what we are moved to do when we are
moved to do it. That is our contract with spirit. We exist to serve consciousness by expressing what she
would express through us. We have been actively doing this for nearly 11 years. Though, we have
always been consciousness expressing through flesh. This is true for all of us. There simply is nothing
else. Everything is the expression of consciousness, the expression of spirit. EVERYTHING! You might
say that we are not limited by form; rather we are enabled by it. Forms allow us to do things and
experience things that cannot be done or experienced in any other way. Limitation is ripe with
possibilities for creative expression. Though, it seems that many suffer through much more hardship than
others. One might ask if this is fair. Then again, in a world where we create our own reality how can
anything that we experience be unfair? Does such a concept even have meaning? It seems that it does.
We speak of offering a fair days labor for a fair days pay in our work. Further, there are many
negotiations that we engage in exchanging good and services for money on a daily basis. What is it
within us that knows what is fair and gets uneasy when it encounters unfair behavior in others or ourself?
Conscience is one word for this. There is an inner voice that knows when we are doing the right thing
under a given set of circumstances. The last clause is important. Right is nearly always subjective, it is
dependent on the circumstances. The sooner that we learn this lesson, the better off the world will be.
What about those who have not found such an inner voice, or who having found it fail to listen to and
heed it? They will reap what they sow. Spiritual law will ensure that. Besides, we can't worry about
what others do or do not do. Those of us on the spiritual path must do what we know to be right. That
means finding that place inside of us that knows.

What will we be doing in one month that is different than we are doing today? There is a sense that this
expression will indeed change. Further, it will change in major ways somehow. How can I know that?
There is a strong sense that 2004 as something new to bring in. 2002 and 2003 were each very different.
The only commonalities were lots of musings and lots of pages of expression. 2003 brought the
publishing of eight Beyond Imagination books. There is a strong sense that 2004 is about outreach. This
is a year of reaching out to others. Whether I'll be successful and connect, I do not know. That depends
on whether the time is right. It is interesting that we are counting up to our first Easter Birthday in 2007,
just over three years away. When we first discovered that we would have Easter birthdays, it was 1972 so
the first one was 35 years away. At the time, it seemed to be an eternity away. I was only 14. However,
90 percent of that time has elapsed ... and the remaining time will go by quickly. Though, when you live
primarily in the moment, your life takes on a timeless quality. There is no past and no future. There is
only now. The moment is where life is lived. The moment is where any decisions have effect. 2007 and
2012 are the only times that Easter occurs on April 8 from 1750-2150. Those are the only years that I was
moved to check in 1972. I'm anxious as to what these years will bring. I associate Easter with death and
resurrection. So, the sense is that these will be major transition times. We'll see soon enough. They are
just over three and eight years away now. 2012 is particularly curious as it is the end of the Mayan
calendar as well. 4/8/07 and 4/8/12. These beg to be expressed in reverse a 7084 and 2184, the final four
of my SSN. Actually 4812 is the final four of my 9 digit zip code in Cathedral City. Does this mean that
I'll be here for another eight years? That is a possibility. 7084 is 7056 + 28 = 84 x 84 + 28. 7:56 has been
a characteristic number for me since 1994. Adding 28 yields 2022. This is a decade beyond 2012. There
seems to be a pattern emerging. 1993, 2002, 2012, 2022. Depending on the actual dates, these are just
shy of 10 years apart. Actually, 1998 and 2007 are important as well so the dates are only about 5 years
apart.

Enough with the future. It will be what it will be. It is for us to do what we can to be ready for it and
allow it to unfold in our lives. Ultimately, I will do what I am destined to do. No more and no less. Try
as I might, I can only make the difference that I am meant to make. Further, I can't help but to make that
160
difference if I express naturally. Yes, that means that there is a possibility that I might fail in my
endeavors. There are no guarantees of success in anything. We do the best that we can where that is
required, and we do good enough everywhere else. If we fail for lack of trying, shame on us. However, if
we try and do not succeed, we can always try something different. If we keep doing this, eventually
something will work. There is a reason that patience is a virtue ... a very good reason. There is another
philosophy that says we don't have to do anything. We don't have to force anything to be any particular
way. We can learn from and live in harmony with nature ... which is another expression of spirit in
matter. We can live with an attitude of acceptance and be happy and grateful for everything that comes
our way. This is a way of being, not necessarily an easy one, but it can be rewarding in its own right.
Stress is all but absent from such a life ... in sharp contradiction to what many of us feel in the Western
world. There is definitely something to be said for living more naturally.

I can only be whom that I am. To the degree that I know what that is, I am aware. Being aware is one of
the most important states that we can reach in any existence. Our level of awareness is the one thing that
we get to keep when we pass on. Our worldly riches get passed along to others. Our bodies become food
for worms. Our mind passes with the brain and the body. It is only our consciousness that remains. That,
along with the record and memories of what we have done with our lives. Life is a precious gift. To
honor that gift, we need to do what we can to make the most of our lives. That means doing things that
make a difference in the lives of others.

30 November 2003

11 months down. One to go and 2003 is behind us. It has been a very productive year with musings and
with publishing books. It will be a difficult year to top. But, 2004 has outstanding promise as well. I am
curious to see what it will bring. More of the same doesn't appear to be what is coming. However, even a
month out I don't know what is in store. Then again, when 2003 began, I had no idea that I would be
publishing eight books. So, it may still be several months before I know what the new energy will bring.
That is OK. We are used to living one day at a time. We've been doing that for awhile now. It is difficult
to plan ahead when the moment is so uncertain ... and so full of creative potential. There is nothing to say
that we need to know in advance. We can trust that the universe is leading us to exactly what we need to
do when we need to be doing it. This is always true if we will but allow it to be in our lives. Trust is the
operative word here. Spirit, consciousness, and the universe can be trusted. They don't always give us
what we want, but they always give us what we need. That is just the way of spirit. Needs are always
met somehow. Though we may need to be the instruments through which spirit works to make that
happen. Everything is spirit in expression. As such, we are the vehicles through which spirit does her
work.

God helps those who help themselves is only a partial truth. It seems that there are many who are not in a
position to do this. Yet, we can all be kind and helpful to others. Often this requires no funds or goods ...
just some of our caring and our time. What better way to give of whom that we are?

Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for the many blessings that we have received in our lives. It seems
that some have more blessings than others. But we all have something to be grateful for. Life itself is a
precious gift that we often take for granted. Good health is another one. That we live in a free and
prosperous country is a third. There are so many things that we could be grateful for. Family, and friends,
for instance. And then there are the animals, especially our pets that bring companionship and joy into
our lives. We can also be grateful that we live in a country where we have so much free time and leisure
opportunities to pursue whatever interests us.

161
Hmm ... does that mean that the time expended on this expression is free time? I guess it would be if I
had a choice as to how I was expending it or whether I was expending it. In some respects, this
expression is not free. It happens because I am moved to enter states of awareness that allow it to come
forth. Do I choose to do this? How would I know? I do as I am moved because I know that it is the right
thing to do and I must do the right thing. Further, I can't think of any better way to spend my time. There
is something about this expression that is unique and special. It deals with a consciousness confronting its
reality as it creates it. In this case, a consciousness that has experienced a spiritual awakening. My hope
is that I leave an example of what is possible not just for me but for you as well. I am a wayshower.
Providing examples and leaving signposts along the way is what I do. This stream of consciousness is
one such signpost that I leave. Actually it is many signposts that comprise a record of where my
consciousness has been. Is it a record that is worth reading? I believe so, but I'm the biased author. Is it a
record that is worth publishing? Though, we'll have to see how many sales get generated. The next
royalty statement should arrive in a week or so. It will cover September sales. We had several books
published and available by that time. Hopefully, we will see some sales. Though we haven't really done
much in terms of advertising or promoting. Next year. That seems to be one of the outreach things that
we will be working on in 2004.

I'm resigned to holding down my present job awhile longer ... primarily because I don't see any better
opportunities presenting themselves. The Beyond Imagination books have potential. But, primarily to
supplement my income not to replace it. Then again, I am always open to new possibilities. There may
just be benefactors out there who believe enough in the services that I provide to be willing to sponsor me
to continue to provide them. It would be nice to be independently wealthy, to not be financially beholden
to anyone or anything. That may or may not be in the cards for me. I can live comfortably either way.
Whatever it takes. We have a mission to accomplish. It seems that most of what we are doing is
contributing to that in some way. It's funny how life is like that. Then again, this may only be for the
fraction of people that are living life on purpose and that have found their place in the world. I don't
know how big of a fraction that is ... though my gut feel is that it is small to very small. Yet, despite that,
people are leading the lives that they are meant to lead somehow. Not everyone has a grand part to play in
the scheme of things. Yet, each of us can make a difference in the lives of others in some important
ways. That is ultimately what counts. What did we do that made a difference? This is something that we
need to be asking every day, every moment. We need to be on the lookout for opportunities to excel and
to contribute. We contribute most when we are doing the things that we love to do. Indeed, love makes
all the difference in the world.

1 December 2003

Wow! A new month. My current plans are to be off from the 12/19 through 1/4. Yes, 17 days! I'll be off
more days this month than I'll be working. Too bad we can't do that every month. We'll have to see how
productive I can be with that time off. We literally have 18 days off this month plus the first 4 days of
next year off. That's 22 out of 35 days. It would be nice to finish Beyond Mind and to get as far as I can
get on 2003 Musings - Vol III. That should be doable. 22 days is nearly an eternity. That is literally a
man-month if I can work 8 hour days. With winter here, I should be able to do that for many of the days
anyway. That would only leave the Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers, and whatever else I am moved
to express in 2004. There is a strong sense that the musings are to taper off substantially. I don't know
why, it just feels that way. It seems that there are other things in store. It would be nice to know what this
are, but I haven't been given any real insight into this yet. When I need to know, I will know.
Consciousness has this way of letting me know what I need to know when I need to know it. If she were
to tell me much in advance, I'd probably forget it anyway ... so, this is probably for the best, for me
anyway. Some people need information in advance to be able to plan. That is not my way. Living in the

162
moment is what life is about for me. That is the only way that I know. Though I do analyze things a lot,
perhaps overly so. I also rely on my intuition a lot. Again, perhaps overly so. However, I have found that
my intuition is a trusted ally. My intellect can be as well when properly guided by spirit/consciousness.
On its own, it can get us into trouble though.

So, what will 2004 bring into my life? I am curious to know. However, the sense is that I will just have
to wait and see. Though, it is an active waiting, involving doing what I am moved to do when I am
moved to do it. I would not be subject to a passive faith. I would declare what I believe actively through
my actions in the world. I would make a positive difference in the world. I would leave the world a
better place for my having lived. But would I touch the hearts and souls of others as some have been able
to? I would hope that what I do would have such an impact. Perhaps I expect too much from myself. My
soul cries out NO, nothing you could imagine is too much. There is no time to waste. If we would make
a difference, we need to start doing things now. There is a long time lag between the doing and reaping.
We reap what we sow. We need to do what we can to sow well and ensure our seeds fall on fertile
ground. That provides the most likelihood that the seeds will take root and grow. We haven't answered
the question yet. Primarily, that is because we simply don't know. We may have some hints, but we
would prefer to keep that private. I wonder where that came from. That is the first time we've expressed
a need to keep anything private. This expression is free and open. We like it that way. It has been such
since its beginnings in 1993. Overall, I am a very private person. That is, except for this expression.
Here, we ramble on and on ... word after word, sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph, and
musing after musing. But, is there any meaning to all of this? Is there any direct utility? Does this make
a difference to anyone but me? Is it sufficient that the difference might only impact me strongly? I would
like to think that what I do will ultimately impact many. But, whether it does or not is really in spirits
hands. That is not to say that I don't have to do my part. In fact, there is much that I will be asked to do.
There is a saying ... to whom much is given, much is expected. Our abilities and talents are gifts from
consciousness. The greater these gifts, the greater they need to be used in service to others. In the end,
the services that we have provided are all that really matters.

I'm getting a deja vu kind of feeling. It seems that we have been on similar ground before. What do we
expect from this expression? Do we expect something fresh and new each and every day? At one point,
we were asking for one new good quote from each days musing. I believe we still get many times that.
As far as I can tell, there is indeed something new expressed each day. It is probably too much to ask that
it all be new. There are recurring themes worthy of repeating ... especially when the repetition is couched
differently. What more can we ask? We already have broken last years record of 304 for number of
musings. We could easily reach 330 for the year. That is not something we are likely to do again. At
least, not anytime soon. There is a sense that the expression is to take a major turn somehow. Perhaps it
will be more focused and directed. Then again, perhaps not. We never really know until it happens. That
is OK. We can live life moment by moment, taking each day as it comes. Though, there is also a sense
that we need to be actively creating what we want to manifest. But, what do I want to manifest? What is
worth applying my time, resources, and effort to bring to fruition? This year, we thought that was
publishing books. But, few are aware that we even did that this year. I've told no more than a dozen
people in person. The only others exposed would be those who have seen the announcements at the
Beyond Imagination site. Will this change anytime soon? It will change if I do what it takes to change it.
But is that what I am moved to do? I'm still wary of imposing my will on the situation. There is
something that says I am not to be concerned with outcomes. How do we reconcile this with desiring
particular outcomes? How do we work toward making something so without being concerned about
whether we actually achieve it or not? That is the key ... it is the process, not the end, that is important.
We need to fully engage in the process of life. At the same time, we need to be open to allowing the
process to lead where it will. That sounds more difficult than it is. Life is a natural process. It is not
something that we have to learn how to do. It is something innate, something that we know within us.

163
2 December 2003

Another day to express. That makes 89 out of 93 for this September thru December period and 309 out of
336 for the year. Those are pretty impressive stats. They indicate that there has been a lot of emphasis on
expressing this year. What can I say? That is what I am moved to do. And, if there is one thing that I've
learned ... it is to do as spirit bids me to do. My life works far better when I do so, and my impact on
others is far more beneficial. How do we keep ego out of our expression? Is this even necessary? It
seems that ego has a rightful place. There is ultimately no good and no bad. The ego and the higher self
are not natural enemies ... though their purposes can indeed put them at opposition to one another. It
seems that the proper way is to enable them to express together. Denying the ego only gives it that much
more strength. It seems that we need to accept it and then put it in its rightful place. Clearly the higher
self knows more about the spiritual nature of things. And, ultimately, it is the spiritual that matters. So it
is in my life anyway. And, I would think it would be that way for others too.

We continue to speak with a voice that is not ours. Yet, we are the vessel through which it manifests
anyway. Why should this be so? Why should this expression continue in this way for so long? We're still
at somewhere between three and four million words by my best guess. That is indeed a lot of expression.
For many, that might be considered a lifetime worth of work. But, it seems that I am just getting started.
Who knows how much more there is to say? Further, who knows how much more I could say if this
would be a full time endeavor? There is a lot more that can come from the source of the words to date. I
am not that source. But I connect to that source within me. How do I know the distinction? How do I
know I am not deceiving myself ... believing that there is some other than conscious source that I connect
to? I don't know how others think. My primary input as to how others express is through the many
metaphysical books that I have read. To date, there has been nothing similar to this. However, that in
itself doesn't say anything about the relative quality of this expression. Does it serve? Is it useful? If so,
I have done my job well. If not, I have something to work on in the millions of words that remain to be
expressed. Then again, how do I know for certain that I will be around long enough to communicate
more millions of words? There is just a sense that writing is what I do, and that there is still much work to
be done in order to complete my mission. I don't mind hard work. It just needs to be enjoyable work too.
This expression is a blessing in my life. It allows me to experience firsthand what spirit would have me
express. I'm amazed by what has been able to come forth. However, I am equally amazed that there have
been so few people drawn to read the material. Ultimately, what is its place in the world? There are
probably thousands if not tens of thousands of books generated each year. How would one decide that the
eight Beyond Imagination books are worth reading? There are innumerable internet sites with a variety of
information. How would one find the Beyond Imagination site and decide the material was worth
reading? I haven't done much to advertise. Then again, what services do I really offer? I have a stream
of consciousness that allows others to walk my path for awhile. But, what is that ultimately worth? Can
it help others to awaken to whom that they truly are? I would hope that the answer would be yes.
However, as a wayshower I can only guide and lead the way. You have to walk along and observe to get
the benefit of what I have to show.

How do we get more people to find the Beyond Imagination site? I have sort of left that to the universe ...
trusting in the philosophy from the movie Field of Dreams - If you build it, they will come. I built the
web site in 1995, over eight years ago, and have been adding to it ever since. Now, it is quite a substantial
site ... a veritable mountain of words. However, people have not been coming. At least, not anywhere
near the numbers that I had envisioned. I would think that by now we should be getting hundreds of visits
per day rather than mere dozens. That is OK. What is meant to be is what is happening. If we want to
expand people's awareness of what we have to offer, we need to stretch and do just that. The first thing
that comes to mind is seminars, discussion groups, and talks. Even if these were relatively small, they

164
should stimulate word of mouth advertising as well. And who knows, in time we may be dealing with
larger groups. Is that what I want to do? Can I speak in front of a group? In this area, I think that I can.
Here, we are talking about things that I am passionate about. It is amazing what we can do when we are
passionate about something. That is one thing that has the power to remove limitations ... passion. Hmm
... the line from Field of Dreams didn't say when they will come. In particular, it didn't say immediately.
Though, in the movie that did indeed happen. When the field was built, the players from the past starting
coming. I was also thinking that spirit knows the exact path to the site. However, it is unlikely that
anyone would come up with this on their own. For most people, search engines are the primary means of
surfing the net. What would you have to search for to find Beyond Imagination? For awhile, many of my
pages were indexed and this was relatively easy. Now, it is far more difficult to construct search criteria
that result in Beyond Imagination hits near the top. That makes it all the more important to contact the
people who are most likely to enjoy and benefit from what Beyond Imagination offers and point them to
the site.

I generated a new introduction page over a month ago that provides a taste of what Beyond Imagination is
about. It comes to around 4 pages including close to two pages of quotes from the Beyond Imagination
expression. It would be nice if I could get that one web page disseminated to a large group. I don't know
many people, but I'm sure that the people I know will know others who will know others if we can just
convince them to share the material with those they know. At this point, I don't know exactly whom the
material is meant to reach. I just have a sense that it is not reaching them as well as it could. Then there
is the issue of time. It takes a substantial commitment to read the Beyond Imagination material. Though,
there is no pressure on people to do this. The material is available. And, nearly all of it is free. It can
also be purchased in book form if you prefer. I only ask that you abide by the principle to never take
more than you give. Assess the value of what you take from here and find a way to give back something
to society to compensate for what you take. I specifically said to society. The debt you incur from
receiving spiritual works is not to the creator of those works. I know, this is not what we learn in
economics. But, there is a greater economics at play here. Spiritual economics ensures that we get what
we need in exchange for doing what is ours to do. Hmm ... I haven't stated it quite like that before. It has
always been unconditional before ... people always get what the need. That is not necessarily what they
want. Wants can exceed needs. In fact, they often do. There is something to be said about being happy
with what we have and curbing our desires so that we want less. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Our lives
overall are far more complex than they need to be. However, we can change that. We don't have to use
all the latest gadgets that technology creates ... especially when they intrude on our lives rather than help
it. We can pick and choose those that serve us. We don't have to be slaves to technology. We don't have
to be instantly available all of the time.

3 December 2003

The expression continues. Once more we come to this special place where consciousness is given
freedom to come forth as she will. Why she? Because that is how I have always experienced her. This is
true for spirit as well. I don't question it ... I accept that this is part of my nature somehow. These are the
aspects of these things that I am meant to connect with, at least at this phase in my life. I realize that most
people relate to a masculine image of God, the father. But, that simply is not my experience to date. That
doesn't make me right and them wrong. Both perspectives are valid as well as many that lie in between
relating to a spirit that is both male/female or is neither. I can only express what I experience firsthand.
This is especially true for me since my interactions with others are so limited. Yes, by choice or design.
But, in my case, it has become a lifestyle. Though many might argue that it is not much of a life at all. I
would ask that it be judged by its works however. One thing my lifestyle permits is the generation of lots

165
of works ... especially in the form of written words. Then again, that shouldn't surprise you if you've been
following the near daily musings for the past two years.

I'm still curious to see what 2004 will bring. It seems that it is time for something different ... very
different than has been expressed to date. Though, I still don't know what that might be. I'm open to new
possibilities and am even willing to stretch in new ways if need be. And, I sure this will be needed. If we
keep doing things in the same way, we will keep getting the same results. To experience something new,
to create something new; we must do new things or do old things in new ways. So, what new things
might I be doing? I'm sure that spirit will move me to start doing them soon. That is how things work in
my life. Spirit is generally the initiator, the motive force. I go where she directs. Does this make me a
slave to spirit? That is an interesting question, but an oxymoronic one. We are spirit enfleshed. We can't
be slaves to spirit. Though, I have joked several times that spirit is a slavedriver. However, that comes
from seeing what she demands of me. I don't regret one minute of being in her service or doing her
works. They give my life meaning and make me a more aware and more complete person. Awareness is
everything. We are playing an awareness game. The level of awareness that we achieve is the key thing
that we get to take with us when we depart this existence. All of our worldly possessions will remain in
the world. Our bodies will wither and become dust ... or food for worms. It is our spirit that will remain,
and whatever it has learned as a result of this existence. The lessons of consciousness and spiritual
awareness are by far the most important of our lives. We don't necessarily learn these in church or from
any standard religion. But, there are paths with techniques and methods that we might find useful if only
we will look for them and try them. The awareness game has been going on for a long time ... much
longer in the East than in the West. That is OK. It is not the length of time that one actively engages in
the game that matters. We have been doing this for many lifetimes, and we have all taken on a variety of
nationalities. Being born and dying is much the same to the soul as putting on and taking off a set of
clothes. A body is just an elaborate set of clothes for the soul, a means for expressing and experiencing in
flesh.

That didn't really address what 2004 will bring. The bottom line is that I don't know. Further, knowing
how my life works, I probably won't know until 2004 arrives and then only to the degree that I need to
know to act in the moment. Yes, that is what is important ... acting in the moment. Anything beyond
what we need to do that is extraneous. It simply gets in the way. Then again, that is how my life works. I
don't really know how this applies globally. Though it seems that the way to any desired future is a
succession of momentary acts. Further, it is not possible to act in the future or in the past. The present is
the only point where we are empowered to act. For future action, we must wait until the appropriate time
becomes now and then act. Though, if we know what is coming up, there are indeed things that we could
do to prepare. There is something to be said about living in the present. One thing this precludes is some
of the "what if" and "if only" considerations. When we live in the moment, we simply don't concern
ourselves with such. We do what we can to ensure that our life is as complete as it can be at any point in
time. We don't want to ever regret that we did not do something or experience something. That does not
mean that we have to do or try everything. The key word is what would we regret not having
accomplished.

As little as 11 years ago, none of the expression that you see at this site existed. In fact, I had no idea that
I would even generate it ... ever. Yet, here we are musing nearly daily for over two hours. Here we are
with over three million words that have streamed forth through us. What are we to make of all that?
Surely, there was a purpose behind all of this expression. Surely, this expression was meant for more than
my eyes only. Yet, how can we be so certain? We are trying to push our work out to the world, but is the
world ready to receive and embrace it? Or, is this simply work that has come before its time? How
would we even know until we try? There is a great joy of expression associated with all of this. Is that
sufficient to justify its existence? Or, do we need others to experience the expression for the
communication to be complete? It seems that the later is the case. Communication is an exchange
166
between a sender and a receiver. Though, in this case, we do have spirit as the sender and me as at least
one receiver and we are starting to get more people to visit the Beyond Imagination material. What they
do with it remains to be seen. Hopefully, it helps them to expand their awareness. Though, I can't
guarantee this. It is by our own efforts that we reach greater awareness, not by the pushing of others.
Though, it doesn't hurt to have good examples from time to time. And, as a wayshower, that is part of
what I do ... provide examples. I would hope that they are good ones.

Am I satisfied with what I have accomplished to date? In many respects, yes ... it has been quite an
achievement. However, I am not satisfied enough to say that if I were to die tomorrow, my mission would
have been complete. And, that is the condition that I am attempting to reach. Have I done all that I could
to either carry out the tasks that I know need to be done, or to enlist others to continue on with completing
the tasks in my absence? Not that I expect to depart anytime soon. But, there is still a need to reach
completion in the present somehow. If Beyond Imagination were a true organization that would live on
without me, we would be close. However, can I expect that? Can I expect others to buy into my dream of
a better world? Can I expect others to commit to this endeavor as much as I have committed, or even
more? Yes, that is a lot to ask ... but I demand nothing less from myself. Why shouldn't the same
standard apply to others? Then again, perhaps there are varying levels of commitment, all of which are
necessary to create the foundations for a new world. Not everyone who works on the foundations needs
to buy into the vision. Ultimately, they will see the benefits of their participation. The workmen for a
house don't need to buy into the architect's vision, they just need to do their jobs and build the house per
the specifications.

How are we going to get buy-in to allow us to change the world? The bottom line is that we just do it
without worrying about permission. If we can effect the changes and they are positive ... no one will care
whether anyone got approval beforehand. They will be happy with the results. We are living in a world
where the Age has changed. However, this is not yet reflected in our social systems. That needs to be
fixed. Those of us who know this have a responsibility to do what we can to fix it. How long it will take
remains to be seen. However, it seems that we need to organize in some manner if we are going to really
do anything. As I say that, there is a chill in the back right side of my head. This is a sign that I'm onto
something important. The chills don't come very often. But, when they do it is usually for to accentuate
something significant. Organize! How do we do that? I've been looking for my spiritual family for
several years. Though, it hasn't really been an active endeavor. It was more of a hoping to find without
much effort. Though I have planted a stake in the ground on the internet that people can find if they go
looking. The sense is that I need to do something to make the looking easier. The easiest thing that I can
think of is to show people where the material is. How do I do that in a non-intrusive way? Mass e-mails
are definitely out. If you are reading this, I do ask for your help to spread the word. Please point people
you know to the Beyond Imagination site if you think they might benefit at all from what is expressed and
offered here. Enough said on that.

Will major Earth changes happen in the near future? I'm beginning to think that they are highly unlikely.
We have enough to deal with emotionally and spiritually that major physical changes seem like they
would break the camels back as the saying goes. That doesn't mean that they can't happen. It just seems
that they won't. It is as if the mass consciousness has somehow decided to avoid that crisis. That is
good. We still have more than enough challenges to keep us occupied for some time. But, overall there is
a heightened sense that we have the abilities necessary to step up to these challenges and succeed in
creating a better world for all of us. Though, some in power and some with more than their fair share of
wealth may not think so. However, we have to come up with a system that works for everyone. We can't
tolerate a world divided into haves and havenots. At the same time, we need incentives for excellence.
So, there is a fine balance that must be maintained. The bottom line is not wasting resources, especially
human resources. We need to make sure all are employed productively in ways that use their natural
talents and abilities. This requires thinking differently. Individuals are naturally designed to fit within the
167
fabric of society as the pieces of a puzzle ... only on multiple dimensions. Further, the pieces have modes
of operation to include work, social, family, and whatever organizations the individual chooses to belong.

4 December 2003

Another day, another musing. It's amazing that they keep coming forth day after day. I can only conclude
that there is a reason for all of this expression ... perhaps even multiple reasons. At this point, it is not
necessary to know what these are. It is enough that I am moved to express in this manner. What outcome
results from all of this is not mine to determine. It will be whatever it is. That doesn't mean that I didn't
have an active part in creating it. It just means that there are far too many variables to control the
outcome from my limited conscious perspective. Outcomes we leave to spirit. Though, if we don't like
the results, we can change our choices of beliefs and actions. When we change these, we naturally get a
different result, though not necessarily a predictable one. There are some mysteries in life that are never
meant to be fathomed. That is OK. We need to be able to embrace the mystery and the magic.

How is it this stream of words can pour forth so continuously? How can someone who has so little to say
to people have so much to express in writing? Part of the answer is that it is spirit not me that is
expressing. Yes, it is coming through my mind and my body ... but these are just tools that spirit is using.
Do I do anything truly on my own? That is an interesting question. First, we must resolve what "I" refers
to. Clearly, it is not my body nor my mind. It may not even be my consciousness. "I" is the owner and
user/ experiencer of all of these. It is also the observer of the actions of all of these. In addition, it may be
their creator as well. Right now, I am focused on being the observer, the witness to all that happens in my
life. One thing I observe is this very expression and the process of how it comes forth. Even after over a
decade ... I still have no real explanation for why it occurs in my life. Yes, it uses some of my abilities
and talents. And, I sense that this specific expression would not exist without me. But, whatever part of
the expression the world needed to see would be expressed anyway.

Reading and commenting on Beyond Mind last night, I couldn't help but observe how spiritually aware I
became so quickly after the expression began in 1993. Within three months I was experiencing extreme
spiritual highs. These were unprecedented in my life. Further, the highs just kept growing in height and
intensity. I was clearly living in a very special state of consciousness. By comparison, my experience is
much flatter and more steady now. The medications I take have something to do with that. Though I
have to wonder whether I have lost something in the process. I'm still aware, and I still experience the
heights of moderate mania at times, just not to the same extremes or with the same regularity. One thing
that I noticed was that I only missed one day of expression in July 1993. So, the urgency of expression
was much the same as it is now. Had I not revisited the writings from that time, I would not have
remembered that. I knew that once the Beyond Imagination notes started in November, there was a lot of
expression ... especially in 1994 and 1995. It is still hard to believe that so much time has passed by since
then. I've added nearly a third to my life since those days ... from one month shy of 35 to nearly 46.
Before you know it, I'll be 50. But, I have to pass my first Easter birthday to get there. That still seems to
be a milestone kind of event for me; as will be 2012.

I look forward to what lies ahead. I can envision a bright and shining future ... one full of purpose and
accomplishment ... one in which I make a real difference in the world. I do that by serving spirit. So far,
this expression is my way of serving. How long that will be so, I don't know. But, this indeed taps one of
my strongest skills. I've always been able to write, and write well. That's my assessment and that of my
teachers anyway. Until 1993 though, I didn't really write outside of school assignments or work.
However, since then I have written extensively. Could I do this full time? I would like to give it a try if
only I could figure out how to earn a living at it. If only, if only, if only ... How many times do we let if

168
only stop us from doing the things that we know that we are meant to do? We are what we are. There are
no excuses needed. We can all start from whatever we are and grow into whatever we need to be to
accomplish our missions. The mighty oak is contained within the acorn. In a similar manner, there is a
plan for each of us. Our lives are unfolding in accord with that plan. All that is necessary for that
unfolding is the right nourishment. Most of this we can provide for ourselves ... though interaction in
society can be healthy and helpful. For introverts, we get into the too much of a good thing state very
quickly. We prefer the solitude of our own company. For some, this is an extreme preference. For others,
it is far more moderate.

I'm not one to meditate. However, I am quiet most of the time. Further, even my mind is quiet often. It
seems that most people are consumed by ceaseless mental chatter. Some talk incessantly as well. Neither
of those are my ways. In particular, since 1993, except when I am writing or working, my mind is
essentially blank. I believe it is this very quality that allows this expression to come forth as it does. I
also don't remember my dreams very often. Literally, I have remembered no more than a handful of
dreams in my lifetime. Considering that we all dream every night for many hours, that is somewhat
remarkable. Then again, physical waking reality is somewhat like a dream compared to spiritual reality.
Many people might consider what I do in the spiritual realm dreaming ... or worse. But, I don't care much
about what other people think. I care about what they know. I care about how aware they are and what
can be done to increase that awareness. I care about how spirit expresses in the world. I am not
religious. I don't practice or follow the teachings of any religion. Yet, I consider myself to be highly
spiritual. My nature is FIRE, the element corresponding to the spiritual. Though, Mercury, the planet of
communications is one-half degree into Taurus, at the very top of my birth chart. I find that curious. It is
confirmation that there is something to the intuitive arts. It matters not whether science accepts what they
reveal. They exist in a completely different domain ... one not subject to that same laws and rules of
logic, one where intuition is king. Intuition by its very nature requires faith. It will not show itself
otherwise. That is not to say that intuition is necessarily superior to logic. Both are well suited to their
own domains. Further, they can be employed together in some pursuits as well. Most of the greatest
advances in history have been due to a combination of both ... an aha, followed by allowing reasoning to
carry the idea forth into manifestation. We need to dream before we can achieve. The grander the
dreams, the better. We need our dreamers. They are the ones who ultimately create the impetus for a
better world. I put myself in this lofty class. This is how I would serve my society and my world. Is that
enough? By definition, doing what we are moved to do to the best of our abilities is always enough.
Actually, in some cases it may even be more than enough. For many tasks, there is a standard of good
enough that may not require our best. This allows us to reserve our energy and resources for those tasks
which demand our best. We will know what these are. For this, spirit doesn't keep us guessing. It is just
too important.

We continue to write. Why? It is not like there is a large audience awaiting what we have to say. Then
again, perhaps there would be if we changed the format of the expression and did something to find the
audience. Hmm ... that is definitely a possibility. Newspaper column just came to mind. Is there
someplace that I can write to that would provide an opinion and allow me to post the URL for Beyond
Imagination? Are there magazine columns that allow the same? I don't read newspapers or magazines,
but many people do. Would they be moved enough by what I have to say to take the time to visit Beyond
Imagination? It's clearly a possibility. We write because there is a stream of consciousness effectively
pushing its way through us. Oh, we volunteer to allow it to do so. But there is a sense that we are locked
into this arrangement by prior agreement. That is OK. I will honor whatever commitments I have made
on either conscious or other than conscious levels. Yes, I will honor commitments that I don't even know
about consciously. I do that because I have reached a level of awareness where such is a requirement. At
some level we know what these commitments are. We know what is right for us to do ... and we do it
because doing right is the only real choice that we have.

169
To what degree are we really free? Do we really have free will? Can we choose to do whatever we
want? Can we choose to be whatever we want? Or, are our choices constrained, and in some cases
severely constrained? My sense of things is that our "choices" are far more constrained than most of us
think. I would offer that we are actors in a play and most if not all of the choices have already been
decided by the playwright before we enact them as the actor in the play. Things are very different once
you identify with being the observer, the witness to your life. What happens to the actor is one step
removed. You see that the actor's life is the result of beliefs and actions in accord with those beliefs. You
see that you are not what happens to the actor. You are the observer. You remain intact regardless of what
happens. You communicate to the actor through intuition and through a sense of knowingness. You are
beyond time and space, infinite and immortal, without form or substance. But, how do you communicate
with others? In my case, is the actor the hermit or is the observer the hermit, or both? Interesting
question. How can the observer be the hermit when the observer is connected directly to spirit ... to the
one? What happens if I stop observing the actor and simply turn inward to see what is inside of me ... or
turn around and see what is behind me? This is a new line of thinking that I haven't explored before. It is
interesting how important questions have become in my life. Until 1993, I didn't really explicitly ask
many questions. Now, I can ask more in a week than I did in years before. Questions are one of the most
powerful tools that we have for exploring what we know and don't know. This shouldn't be so hard to do.
I have spent many hours over nearly a decade consumed with the observer perspective. I am still missing
one however. I still haven't experienced being the creator in my own life. Oh, I believe that I am. But
that is not the same as experiencing this firsthand as I do with the observer.

5 December 2003

The year continues to fly by. Just two weeks and I have a stretch of 17 consecutive days off. The last
time I did that was during my medical leave of absence in 1998. That lasted three months. Here, we
talking just over one-half month. That's OK, I could use the break from work. The key question is how
productive can I be during that time. However, that doesn't really matter. This is not a race. There is not
something that I have to finish by a certain deadline. Yes, I am to do as I am moved to do and express
whatever this stream of consciousness would bring forth. But, that does not mean to neglect my own life
in the process. I feel that to some degree that is just what I have been doing. I've focused so much on this
expression the past two years that it didn't leave much free time for anything else. Though, it is not clear
what else I might be engaged in doing anyway.

No regrets. We are to live our lives without regret ... either for what we have done or what we have not
done. If we want to live our lives differently, we need to make different choices as to what we believe is
possible for us and what we believe that we deserve. It is highly important that we consider ourselves
deserving of what we desire in our lives. What we don't feel that we deserve, we won't be able to
manifest ... no matter how hard we try. Manifestation should not be hard work. It should flow naturally
from being whom that we are. It can do this if there is no resistance. Negative beliefs are one powerful
form of resistance. We need to rid these from our system as quickly as we can. However, to rid
something from one beliefs, it is important to plant new more empowering ones. Beliefs are that flexible.
We can do with them as we will. We are not stuck with the beliefs imposed upon us by authority figures
in our youth unless we so choose to be. It is helpful to examine our beliefs and question their utility.
With beliefs, utility is really the only thing that counts. Also, don't be afraid to try out new beliefs. And,
while you are doing this, don't be tentative about it. Believe with the full force of your being. That is
what empowers beliefs to manifest things in our lives. However, be ready to change in a moment's notice
should a more empowering belief comes your way. Even if that second belief contradicts the previous
one. Consistency is not required in the game of life ... and definitely not in the playground of beliefs.
Emerson said something to the effect that "a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds". Be not

170
afraid to be different! Be not afraid to allow your unique light to shine forth, not because it is better than
anyone else but because it is whom that you are and you can't help but to express it.

What part of me speaks here? What part of me knows all this that it could put it into words in such a
manner? This stream of consciousness comes forth from a source beyond me, one to which my intuition
ties. However, I have to translate the energy from that stream into words. That is why it is me doing this
and not another. I have a natural ability in this area. The sense is that spirit speaks in a language that is
not of this world. But, it is a language that we all know because we are all spirit having a physical
experience. We have to learn to tap our intuition to reach this source. Then it seems that there is a natural
translation device in our minds. For me that results in words that I hear in my head. These are different
than thoughts. The stream of consciousness is organized differently. It has a purpose behind it. It is not
concerned with the mundane aspects of day to day existence as thoughts can be. It is not petty nor
judgmental.

What next? The musings continue. And, we have at least three books to finish in 2004, preferably early
in the year. We might even be able to finish Beyond Mind this year. 2003 Musing - Vol III should
follow by the end of January and be published by May. That only leaves The Spiritual Interpretation of
Numbers as far as things on the drawing board at this time. I'm still anxious as to what the energies of
the new year will bring. The sense is that it is time for some things in my life to change in major ways.
I'm ready for these changes even though I don't know what they will be yet. Change is a way of life these
days. Though there is the constancy of spirit amidst the change. At some level we are unchanging,
eternal, and everlasting. We need to turn inside and find that level. Then, we have an anchor. No matter
what happens in the world, we have the strength of spirit to deal with it. That is part of what comes from
living a life of spirit. When we connect with that part of ourself, we know that we can never die because
we were never born. Only the body was born and only the body dies. We the witnesses behind it all have
never lived and will never die. We simply are, there is nothing that can take that away from us. We are
each a droplet in an ocean of water that is the one consciousness. If we are at the surface, for brief
moments we can separate ourselves from the ocean and experience life as a droplet ... but we are still
water, we are still consciousness. That is the key. First and foremost we are consciousness. Everything
else is what we do. We are not what we do. We are not what we experience. We are the doer and the
experiencer. There is a big difference. That is why we are not to be concerned with specific outcomes.
They will be what they will be as spirit dictates. We are players in a grand play ... a play that is
orchestrated by spirit every bit as much as a piece of music is orchestrated. All the roles are defined and
the precise timing for each note for each instrument and associated musician. The only difference is that
the music of our life seems to be our actions. For me, this very expression is the music of my life ... or, a
good part of it at present anyway. Words are how I express. Not the spoken word, but the written word.
There is something about the anonymity of writing that strikes a deep chord for me. Though, at the same
time I do desire that the expression reach others. Why is that so important to me? I don't sense a need to
be recognized. Though, it would be nice to be able to earn my livelihood via doing what I most love to
do. That may happen, or it may not. Until then, I'll continue to do the bidding of a master willing to pay
enough to cover my financial needs. I can live with that for as long as it takes. Many times over the past
eleven years, I though my liberation was immediately at hand ... only to find that I was overly optimistic
and mistaken. That too is OK. Better to dream of grand things than to settle for an ordinary life. At some
point, we may in fact make our dreams come true.

6 December 2003

Another day, another musing. So it continues. What can I say? I continue to be moved to come here to
express. This has truly become a habit ... one that I consider beneficial. At the very least it is a

171
productive habit. Each day I leave behind roughly 1000 to 2200 words of expression. During the week it
is more toward the high end. On weekends, I'm distracted by other things competing for my time and
attention. Though, not so much that I couldn't do more. However, if I needed to do more, I would be
doing more. That is how my life works. I am ever doing what I am moved to do. I trust that whatever
that is is right for me. I don't expect others to live up to the standards that I set for myself. Overall, they
are easy for me because they come naturally. We shouldn't have to fight or work hard to accomplish
things. When we do them right, they should be natural and easy. That is how we know that we are doing
them right. Life doesn't have to be a struggle. Though, it seems that for many it is. It is all a matter of
attitude and approach. We need to approach things in the right way. However, there is no one right way.
This will be unique to each of us. We can't deceive ourselves for long. We know when our actions are
right or not. Deep down we always know. However, many do not seem to connect to this inner part of
themselves, at least not regularly. It is there awaiting our effort to connect. It even goes so far as to meet
us more than half the way. But, it will not intrude on our reality unless it is invited. And then, it will do
as it is asked.

"Ask and it shall be answered." There are inner parts to each of us that know the answers to any questions
that we might ask. The very asking of the question is an indication of our readiness to know the answer.
Though, it seems that spirit has a need to know clause as well. We don't seem to be given answers until
we have a need to know. It is not clear whether we can do anything to generate this need to know. It may
be that it is decided by our role in the play. Our consciousness already knows a great deal. It is able to
feed our conscious self what it needs to know moment by moment unless we place obstacles in its way
such as limiting beliefs. The more we can open our belief systems, the more that we can remove the
limitations that bind us ... the freer we will be. And with freedom comes all things that are important.
This is especially true when we choose to cooperate freely. All manner of things can then be manifest in
our world ... including things that have never been manifest before. Such is the power of synergy.
Indeed, cooperation and cooperative interdependence are very good things. If only we could demonstrate
this first hand on a relatively large scale. Where do we find people working together to make a difference
in the lives of others? In libraries and schools, for one thing. Our teachers, at least some of them, tend to
have a major impact on our lives. In churches and other religious establishments, for another thing. Here
is where many get their spiritual training ... right, wrong, or indifferent.

My way has been a much more solitary path ... at least for the past thirty years. I have walked with the
ideas of some of the spiritual giants among us. Now, I generate what spirit would express through me.
And, I consider at least some of the writings on par with some of the best that I have read. Then again,
clearly with the words coming through me, I'm biased. Though, I invite you to read and assess the quality
of the Beyond Imagination works yourself. Hopefully you will be as pleasantly surprised at what has
come forth as I am. Interesting way of putting it ... what has come forth. Yet that is exactly how it
happens. It just comes forth and I capture it by typing it onto a web page in Netscape Composer. I
observe myself doing it. I don't sense that I am generating the material. I am translating and relaying the
material. Yet, still, I consider myself the author. There is no other that is involved in doing this. There is
only spirit expressing through me. This spirit has no identity. It has no separate existence. It pervades
everything. It is everything. What is an author? Is it one who creates words and fashions them into
articles or books? Or is it one who brings forth words and fashions them into articles or books? The
difference is "creates" versus "brings forth". Perhaps there are two different types of authors. I know the
later definitely exists from my firsthand experience. Perhaps all authors "bring forth" words in similar
ways ... and it is really spirit doing the expressing through us.

It's still early, but I'm fading fast. With darkness coming by 5:00 PM, it seems much later than it is. That
is OK, I love the night. It is much different than the day. The energy is different. The very consciousness
is different. It seems more conducive to deep thinking and to expression from other than conscious
sources. While these are other than conscious, we still know that they exist by observing their works in
172
our lives. We have over three million words as proof that other than conscious sources not only exist but
can communicate through us and leave their mark in the world. What impact this mark will have remains
to be seen. My sense is that ultimately there will be a large impact. But, part of that may be my own ego
needing to make its mark on the world. Is it not enough that all of this was expressed and freely shared?
Is it not enough that I learned from all that was expressed? The sense is that no, it is not enough. Were it
enough, there wouldn't still be this inner drive to do more. And, that inner drive is far too strong to
squelch. It demands that I do something about it ... something different than I have yet done. At this
point, I still don't know what that is. But, I will know soon, I'm sure of that. It doesn't help for me to
know things too far in advance of needing to do something. Overall, my mind is very forgetful. I operate
primarily in the present. Though, it is an expanded present that stretches forth at least into the immediate
future. It is amazing how unstructured my days and weeks are. The only real constants are the times that
I need to be at work, the drives to and from Redondo Beach each week, and this expression.

I live very much in two worlds on a number of fronts. There are my work/non-work daily world, my
work/weekend worlds, my work/spirit worlds, and my home/spirit worlds. Everyday I confront at least
one of these dualities. Every week I confront all four of them. The spirit world is experienced here in this
expression and in the signs from the universe that I see nearly every day. Each day during the week, I
spend 9 hours at work and 2-3 hours on spiritual pursuits. Each week, I spend 4-5 days close to work in
Redondo Beach and 2-3 days at home in Cathedral City. On weekends, I try to spend at least 2-3 hours
per day on spiritual pursuits ... though this is difficult when you have to make up for being away at work
all week.

7 December 2003

Pearl Harbor day ... a day that lives in infamy even 62 years later. WWII seems so long ago. I wasn't
even born until nearly 13 years after it was over. Though my parents and my wife were young kids during
that time. My parents are old enough to remember the great depression. My wife just missed that. It did
make a big difference on their outlooks toward life. Many people who experienced the great depression
have an attitude of scarcity that runs very deep. The opposite of this is an attitude of abundance. In
between is an attitude that there is always enough. This is not the same as abundance. I've been fairly
cavalier about material possessions. There are a few things that I have acquired that I am attached to.
But, much of what I have, while nice ... is simply not important. There are deeper things that vie for my
attention. In particular, the things of the spirit.

Each day we allow consciousness to come forth and express. Each day we voluntarily give up two to
three hours of our day to this endeavor. Why? Who is it for ultimately? What difference does it make to
whom? We got the royalty notice in the mail yesterday. Still no sales. Not a single one. What does that
tell me? What feedback does this give me? Was publishing the Beyond Imagination books an act of
vanity? Or, eight such acts in our case? People talk about vanity publishers who are basically willing to
publish anything for a price. At least it didn't cost a lot. I figure that I have around $4500 invested in
addition to a lot of my time. Though, it is still early. Only a few of the books were available in
September. We'll see what October brings at the beginning of the year.

What am I to make of all of this? What am I to do next? More of the same seems somewhat futile until
we see something working. Though, that is still what I am moved to do. I'm still moved to come here to
allow this stream of consciousness to come forth. I'm still moved to finish at least three more books early
next year if not sooner. Further, I'm still in the mode of doing what I am moved to do. That is my way of
knowing what is mine to do. I'm not so moved to work. But, I accept at the present time that such is the
price I must pay for the freedom to do my spiritual work. Render unto Caesar what is Caesars and unto

173
God what is Gods. While we are physical we operate in both a material and a spiritual realm. Try though
we might, we cannot escape either one. Though we can ignore one or the other for awhile. We need to be
careful, however, not to ignore either for too long or we suffer the consequences. We can't be spiritual
while incarnate without being physical. Neither can we be physical without being spiritual. We are
spiritual beings first and foremost. It is important that we remember that.

Where will my life take me next? What adventures lie ahead in the days, weeks, months and years
ahead? The bottom line is that at this point I don't really know. And, my sense is that I won't know until
it happens. So, there is no use worrying about it. What will be, will be. Though, there is another sense
that says it will be if I make it so. I am responsible for my own reality. We all are. No fine print, no
exceptions. We each experience exactly what we choose to experience. Though part of our choosing is
embodied in belief systems that define what is possible for us to experience. Much of what constitutes
these belief systems are beliefs that were imposed upon us in our youth by a variety of authority figures.
We were taught not to question these authorities or what they told us. That may have worked when we
were children, but as adults we are free to go back and see whether these beliefs truly serve us or not. It is
up to us to eliminate those that don't serve us and replace them with new ones that do. We can choose to
do this at anytime. It is a matter of taking responsibility for ourselves and doing it. If we don't like what
we are experiencing ... it is up to us to do something to change it. It is up to us to so alter our beliefs to
create a better reality. How do we empower people to do this? How do we educate people and show
them that they have not only the responsibility but the ability to change their reality for the better? Whose
job is this to do? Something a friend of mine once told me comes to mind: if you see a job that needs
doing, and no one else seems to be doing it ... then it is yours to do if you have the desire and abilities to
do it. I added the final nine words. Just because we see that something needs to be done, does not mean it
is our responsibility to do it. The job might belong to someone else who just hasn't found it yet. Pointing
out that the job needs to be done in that case might be exactly what is needed.

The expression is slower than normal tonight. Part of that comes from my being tired. I got plenty of rest
this weekend ... but it never seems to be enough. Though I am getting up earlier than I used to. For
awhile, I was sleeping until close to 10:00 on weekends, sometimes longer. Now I get up between 8:00
and 9:00 most weekend mornings. I still haven't translated this into my time devoted to this expression.
Perhaps that is not in the cards. Enough is enough. It might be different if we had a large readership
awaiting each days expression. However, this is not yet the case. Whether it will someday be or not ...
we'll know in due time.

8 December 2003

Another day for expression. Let's see where we are moved to go today. We never really know where the
stream of consciousness will lead until we embark on it. Lately, we have been doing this a lot. We've
only missed 1 day out of the past 71. That's a lot of expression. It is about time to start consolidating it
into 2003 Musing - Vol III. We have 14 of 17 weeks done already. And, it seems that the volume is
consistent with the prior two four month periods. That's pretty good. Three books of approximately 600
pages each out of the material generated in 2003. That is a lot of expression. But, how do I know that it
is any good? It is what it is. It is not for me to judge it. It is for me to allow it to come forth so that it can
have its impact, whatever that might be, on the world. That is an interesting way of looking at things. It
is not as if I am trying to create all of this. It is just happening through me. It is the expression of spirit. I
just happen to be a convenient and willing vessel. Then again, are we not all vessels for thee expression
of spirit in flesh? My way just happens to involve words. In my case, many words. Perhaps too many
words. Though, can we ever have too many words? My sense is no, that is impossible.

174
It is interesting that I can speak here so readily, yet am silent for the most part in my life. However, that
has been true since the expression began in 1993. Once the pathway was opened up ... the expression was
freed to come forth. It hasn't stopped since, though it did die down substantially for a period of several
years before picking up on 1 January 2002. Why 1 January of all days? Yes, it is the start of a new year.
And, something says that wasn't merely a coincidence. The new year brought a new energy that had to be
expressed. I was receptive to this and cooperated willingly. In fact, joyously since I was so happy to see
spirit so active in my life again. This has continued throughout the present year. In fact, we have more
musings already this year then we had last year. [315 versus 304] We're well on our way to 330 or more
for the year. That is an achievement that we are unlikely to match anytime soon. This is especially true
since there is a sense that it is time for a change in the nature of this expression. We have been content to
allow a stream of consciousness to come forth. It seems time that we do something to harness the stream
and channel it in some direction. That seems to be the next step. Though do we not run the risk of
messing things up if we try to control them? Yes, there is that risk. But, the potential good that could
come from this far outweighs the risk. How can I know that? The bottom line is that we are doing spirits
works now. And where she is involved, the outcome is always good.

The bottom line is that it is spirit doing the work through us. If we just allow this to occur gracefully, we
will be amazed by what manifests in our lives and the lives of others around us. It is important that we
consider others and that we are considerate to them. Compassion goes a long way as well. It is difficult
to hurt people when we are in the process of being compassionate.

We must live our lives with passion. Otherwise, it just isn't worth living at all. Maybe this only applies to
certain kinds of people. But, I see it applying to everyone. Passion is what motivates us to stay in the
game and play it to the fullest. I specifically didn't say "to the best of our ability". It is not clear that such
is required. Good enough is good enough. We don't have to be our best or do our best all of the time. We
need to do "good enough" under the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We always know what is
good enough. It comes from a natural knowingness of whom that we are. Some of us seem to have more
of that natural knowingness than others. That is OK. We start from wherever we are, and learn to
develop more when we need it. There are no mistakes. There are only choices, some of which have
undesirable consequences. However, this too is in the eye of the beholder or experiencer.

What would I do next? We always come back to that question. Five simple words for a total of 16
letters. Yet, that is all that it takes to stay focused. In this case, to stay focused on doing ... and on what
we should be doing. My answer is that I do as I am moved to do. Right now, that means to engage in this
expression. Who knows what the morrow will bring? However, whatever it is will be right for me. I
trust in the natural flow of the universe, and the natural unfoldment and expression of spirit therein. What
gives me such trust? Nothing. It just seems obvious that this is so. There is a divine plan unfolding and
all of us have roles to play in that plan. As in life, there are lesser roles and there are greater roles. The
greater roles seem to require more talents/abilities. However, there is a benefit in the lesser roles of more
free time and overall freedom. Further, however, each role is important. The devoted mother and father
are just as important as the saint. It is all a matter of how well we play the roles that we have been given
... and the cards that we are dealt in the course of our lives.

It is not so difficult to live a life of spirit. In fact, when your doing it, it seems downright easy. However,
there are numerous distractions that can get in the way if we allow them to. We need to maintain our
focus. We need to be open to what the universe, what spirit, is sending our way. We need to be ready to
jump on the opportunities that come to us. They will come. It is just a matter of being open to them.
Then again, that is true for a lot of things. Being open and flexible are definitely important. More so the
further along the spiritual path that we go. We need to give spirit room to manifest in our lives. This
means becoming the vessel through which she expresses. This takes some doing, but is not difficult
either. There is a natural inclination within us toward expressing spiritually, toward living a spiritual life.
175
We can ignore it, or we can embrace it. I advise the later. Whenever there is a choice between spirit and
anything else, by all means choose spirit. It will make life easier in the long run. Not that life should
necessarily be easy. There is something to be said for challenges. But, too much of a good thing is just
too much.

We can do whatever we set our minds and our hearts on doing. It takes both to achieve great things. And
such are the only things worth achieving. If we are going to endeavor to do something, it might as well be
something grand ... something that takes our breath away as well as that of others who see what we have
done. Even in little things, we can do them in grand ways making them all the richer. Life is meant to be
a celebration, in particular, a celebration of spirit in flesh. There are so many things to be grateful for.
Life itself is one of these. Some have called it the greatest of gifts that we could be given. And indeed, it
is that. It is for us to make the most of it, making ones life a gift to the world in some way. At the very
least, we need to make a positive difference in the lives of those who our lives touch. We can do this ...
we just have to want to, and then do what it takes. Ultimately, that is how we get anything done in the
world ... we do whatever it takes. And, we keep doing that until we get an outcome that is acceptable. It
may not be the outcome that we thought we wanted. We need to leave spirit some freedom to create that
or something better in our lives. Outcomes can be dangerous if we become too fixated on them.

We continue to speak with a voice that is not own. Yet, it is a familiar voice that we have heard in our
head often. Do others hear such voices? Surely, I cannot be unique in how I experience consciousness.
Then again ... we are all unique even though we are also very similar. I don't believe for a moment that
my world is like unto anyone else’s. I know it to be my own. I have tried to share those aspects of it that
I can, but with limited effect. Either my methods are faulty or the timing is not yet right for intimate
sharing with many others. Until then, I will be content to express what I must express. I will continue to
serve as a voice for consciousness. This expression makes my heart sing. Here is where I am closest to
spirit. And, I am fortunate enough to get to experience this nearly everyday. I truly am blessed. Then
why does happiness still elude me? Oh, it is there part of the time. But, why not most of the time? What
is missing from my life? RELATIONSHIPS. That seems to be the key. My relationships with others are
still limited at best. Part of this is my nature. Part of this is not knowing any other way to be. Part of this
is fear of being judged. Even after all that I have been through, that fear is still there. This seems to be
something that I need to overcome if I am to create a more fulfilling reality. And, it seems such is
necessary to create a happier life. It is just a matter of deciding to do it and doing it.

9 December 2003

Had my yearly appraisal at work this morning. Overall, I did very well. There was only one area
identified for improvement. This is the first time I've really had anything negative in writing. Oh well.
The point was legitimate. I am not as determined as I could be when trying to get information that I need
from outside organizations. Part of this comes from not understanding how such organizations work.
When asked for information, I typically respond within minutes to hours, occasionally stretching to days.
I don't understand having to wait weeks or months to get information from others. Also, some
organizations are so large that is unclear where to go to even get started. That is OK. Everything else in
the appraisal was highly positive. My work is appreciated by my own management and by the Air Force
customer that we work for. If only the same could be said of my spiritual work. If only there was a
known customer for it. If only there were the equivalent of spiritual management to appreciate what we
are doing here.

Then again, is such really necessary? Would it make a difference? Would it change what is expressed?
I'm beginning to think that the answers to all three of these questions are NO. I would be doing exactly as

176
I am doing in either case. But, would I feel better doing it? Do I need the appreciation and recognition to
make me feel good? The bottom line is no. It might help, but it is not necessary. I need to find
fulfillment within myself, or I will not find it at all. Look to the outside world all you want ... but for real
satisfaction look inward to the source within. Hmm ... it seems that I had forgotten this of late. I've been
looking to the world for some validation of whom that I am. But, this is an inside job not an outer one. I
know that. I just need to be reminded from time to time.

I'm still struggling with what impact my endeavors are to have on the world. Do they truly need to have
such impact? My sense is yes, the standard that I set for myself is to leave the world a better place for my
having lived. The only question is whether I will see the tangible impacts of that during my lifetime. It
may or may not be for me to see these. I need to find ways to go on and be happy anyway. It doesn't
matter whether I succeed in doing what I set out to do. The importance comes in doing it. The way, the
path, the journey is everything. Everything. My responsibility is to do what I am moved to do when I am
moved to do it. In so doing, I make a difference with my life ... in fact, the most meaningful difference
since spirit is guiding me every step of the way. How can I know this? It just seems intuitively obvious.
So much so, that I harbor no doubt. That is a good thing. There is a part of us that simply knows. And, it
knows far more than most people give it credit. This is the soul. It is not surprised by anything that we
might do. She is in her native realm and expresses primarily through our intuition. The more strongly we
develop this special part of us, the better.

I was hoping to start to see some book sales by now. I guess people are not making it to the Published
Books pages or are choosing not to purchase the books anyway. Oh well. A what will be will be attitude
seems appropriate here for some reason. I don't feel that there is a driving need to do something yet. I
can wait patiently and allow spirit to work out the details. At the same time, I know that I am an
instrument that she can use in this area as well. When I am moved to do something, I will. Until then, we
can wait and see what happens.

What am I moved to do? Once again it is difficult to stay focused at work. Yet, the days exhaust me
anyway. What can I do to keep my energy at peak levels? Someone suggested Tai Chi as one of the more
relaxed martial arts. Maybe that would work. But, am I likely to go take a class? That would require
some time in addition to overcoming serious inertia and resistance to new things. However, these can be
overcome. It is a matter of desire and initiative. It is a matter of what is important to me. That's always
what it comes down to. Which among a variety of things is more important? This we must decide for
ourselves. There is no preset hierarchy of importance. It is for us to create our own. Maslow did this for
needs and did an outstanding job. Here we are talking about going beyond that.

It seems time to treat this communication differently. We have shown that we can bring forth many
words. However, it has been suggested that we tighten things up and bring forth a more focused
expression. Further, in doing so we need to get away from the first person singular mode. Yes, that is
primarily what we know. But, that doesn't have to be how we express. Rather than just opening up and
allowing the stream to flow ... we need to keep some purpose in mind. People read nonfiction for a
reason. It may be to be entertained or to be educated or a number of other things. What would we convey
that is worthy of the time that it takes to read this message? If we don't have anything to say, it is better to
be silent than to ramble on. How do we go about creating the reality of our dreams? In particular, how do
we do that when it involves others? It is one thing to create our own reality when we are the only person
involved. It is quite another when that reality involves relationships of various types. We can't expect to
control others ... though some try hard to do this. Ultimately we are free beings. As such, we can only be
controlled to the degree that we allow. Either we create our own reality or we don't. There is no in-
between. There is no fine print. There are no exceptions. We create this reality individually and en
masse.

177
Know that you are in charge of all that you experience. You create it all ... every event, every emotion,
and every meaning. That is simply how life works. As a living being, you do this naturally even if you
are not aware of doing it. As a result, you are responsible for it all. And, you are able to respond to it all.
That is what being response-able is all about. That means there is no one outside of you to blame for
anything. No one is doing anything to you that you have not agreed for them to do at some level. This
can all be changed. The process can be made more conscious. But, it takes inner work to make it so. You
have to be willing to change. You have to be willing to be different ... to believe differently, and to act
differently. It is all your choice. You are free to create whatever reality you prefer. However, be careful
for you are held accountable for whatever you create. Actually, you hold yourself accountable, so there is
no escaping this. You may deny it for awhile, but eventually every injustice has to be repaid. Though,
there is an element of forgiveness that can come into play if we allow it to. This effectively wipes all or
part of the slate clean. However, we can't be forgiven by others until we find it within us to forgive
ourselves. Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do.

10 December 2003

Reality creation happens in the moment. There is no other place to effect change. The past is done. The
future is beyond our grasp. Only the present offer us the opportunity to do as we will to create the reality
that we choose to create. This is wide open for us. We are free to create the reality of our dreams ... but
we are also free to create the reality of our nightmares, as well as any number of things in between those
extremes. We need to dream big. We need to expect the very best not only for us but for everyone that
we touch. As we expect, so shall we create. Our very actions will ensure this as they will be aligned with
our expectations. However, we also need to feel worthy. If we don't, we sabotage ourselves. We take the
potency out of our will and out of our actions. We also need to believe, truly believe that what we expect
is not only possible but likely ... perhaps even certain. Such is how reality creation works in the illusion.

Ultimately it is not our beliefs but our actions that have the most impact. Yes, what we do makes all of
the difference. We are the instruments through which spirit does her works in the world. In fact,
everything that we do is the expression of spirit in flesh. We are all spirit. We are all cells of the same
one whole. We are all droplets in the same one ocean of consciousness. But, we are quite interesting
droplets in our own right. It is through us that all the trials and the glories of limitation are experienced.
Life is very special. Limitation is not to be looked on in a negative light. Just look at some of the
inspiration that has come forth in art, in poetry, in literature, in music, in architecture, in science and
technology and in any number of creative endeavors. Those of us who live in the 21st century have a
cultural and technological richness from which to draw that brings wonders into our lives. We are able to
do things that were not possible even one generation ago. You might say that such is true for every
generation. However, this has not always been the case. It took centuries for major improvements for
much of history. Decades might go by without one significant invention or event of significant historical
interest.

The automobile, the airplane, and the computer are all major creations of the 20th century ... though the
first automobiles were invented in the late 1800's, if memory serves me. It wasn't until the early 1900's
that they became affordable and popular. In much the same way, the airplane was invented in 1903, but it
wasn't until the 1940's that it became a true transportation system and not until long after that until it
became a popular one. The digital computer was born in the 1940's but it wasn't until the late 70's/early
80's that personal computers were created and became popular. We are still feeling the impacts of that
nearly 25 years later with a literal information explosion and level of interconnectivity that only few
people could even imagine as little as a decade ago.

178
So, what will be the first major creation of the 21st century? There must be things on the drawing boards
that the most creative minds among us are coming up with. I guess we'll see it when we see it. Though it
may take some time for us to recognize it for what it truly is. It seems that domain of the mind is one that
is ripe for some breakthroughs. How do we apply our technology to make great strides in this area? We
can do it. It is a matter of where we choose to apply our resources. We make progress wherever we apply
our best and our brightest. What better area to research than how our minds function? We possess
capabilities far beyond anything that any of our computers are capable of doing. Yet, our brains don't
come with an owners manual. For the most part we have to figure it out for ourselves. Why should this
be so? Why can't we make it easier for everyone? Further, the potential of getting multiple minds
working together effectively is simply beyond imagination. Here, synergy comes into play. The whole
that is created from such cooperation is greater than the sum of its parts. It becomes an entity in its own
right able to do things that none of the individuals could do. There aren't a lot of examples of this
happening. Some sports teams come to mind, but nothing specific. There are also teams in the work
environment that exhibit this. It just takes two or more acting cooperatively.

Consciousness is the final frontier. It is here that we face the unknown and even the unknowable.
Though we need to be careful not to mistake the unknown for the unknowable. In the first case, we just
don't know it yet. In the later case, there is nothing that we can do to ever know it ... except perhaps to die
and leave the limitations of this realm. Even then, there may still be things that are unknowable. All that
we can do is accept this and do what we can to make the unknown known. At least, to the degree that
such endeavors interest us. Some choose to ignore this area altogether and are able to live happy and
productive lives. But, those of us that are explorers of consciousness have a different path to follow. We
have made our choices and have accepted the accompanying challenges. There is a thrill of discovery in
this as well. We truly live on the frontier ... much as our ancestors of old in this country. Actually, we're
talking as late as the 1880's or so, just 125 years ago. My we have come a long way in some areas. Yet,
how much more do we know about whom we truly are? The bottom line is far less than we should by
now. That is why it is so crucial to have a concerted effort now. We have neglected this side of ourself
for far too long. It is time to change that. There is an army of lightworkers trained and ready to offer their
services to a world in need. However, it is not clear that the world recognizes that it is in need or that
these are the precise services that can help. The awareness is growing, however, day by day. More and
more people are looking for alternatives to the "officially" sanctioned services, and are finding that
lightworkers can provide these.

11 December 2003

Life is an adventure in consciousness. If you are not experiencing it in that way, perhaps it is time for a
change in attitude. There are two parts of this ... an adventure which means it should be challenging and
thrilling, and in consciousness which means that it should deal deeply with whom that we are as opposed
to dealing with the physical and emotional selves at the surface of our being. It is in consciousness that
we live and it is to consciousness that we return when we die. Consciousness is everything, it truly is.
When we focus on awareness, all things are added unto us. Abundance is our birthright, but it only comes
if we claim it. As souls, we are entitled to a lot by our very nature. However, if we fail to realize this
nature ... we withhold ourselves from our natural inheritance. We do this all the time. We limit ourselves
in innumerable ways, especially through our beliefs. This is one area we can fix. We can examine our
beliefs and replace those which limit us or do not serve us. It is a matter of choosing to apply the effort to
do this. These beliefs are not hidden. They are readily accessible to us if we believe them to be. Further,
they are amenable to change by us. The process is not difficult. It is simply something that we must
choose to do. And, it is well worth doing. The resulting changes in our lives can literally be miraculous.

179
What about the boredom? How do we get beyond the tedious parts of life? We work through them as
best we can. Various people seem to experience this in different ways. Some may not experience it at
all. But, it seems that for most of us we need some way of escape from the tedium. This may be through
entertainment or through hobbies or through relationships. In general, it is through something that
occupies us, something that commands our attention. One of the things about modern life is that the daily
grind requires time to unwind. Entertainment provides this for many. Some, however, prefer quiet time
... time in which to truly get in touch with the spirit within. It seems that the world might be a better place
if more people would do this. However, it is not something that can be forced. Spirit works gently in our
lives. She comes when she is invited. She expresses through us when we allow her to. It is always our
choice as to the degree to which we accept her in our lives. The more aware that we become, the more
desirous we become of having spirit play an expanded role in our lives. Spirit is not some separate thing.
She truly is us, or at least an inner part of us. An image just came to mind of a person with their whole
backside opened up out to the periphery of the body. It is as if spirit enters us from behind and animates
us. Spirit fills our arms and legs and torso and head. It is all spirit enfleshed. Even the flesh is spirit. It
is all spirit. There can be nothing else. Separation is illusion. But, it is useful illusion that permits the
richness of experiences that lifeforms and all matter experience.

Happiness can be illusive. Some seem to have found the key, but most of us still seem to be learning in
this area. We are pursuing happiness as best we can but we are not necessarily finding happiness. It is
interesting that our founding fathers considered the "pursuit of happiness" an inalienable right. They said
nothing about achieving that which we pursue. Though here we can fall back on the maxim "seek and ye
shall find". What we pursue will ultimately be attracted to us. It may take some time but the outcome is
inevitable. Until then, perhaps we need to focus on what it takes to be happy rather than to pursue
happiness. It seems that this should be a choice that we can make regardless of the circumstances that we
find ourselves in. We can choose to be happy and then see how that choice impacts our reality. Of
course, it will be positively, for we will attract the very experiences needed to make it so. Our experience
tends to confirm our choices, provided that we are sincere in making these choices. Sometimes we fool
ourselves. We need to watch for this and be careful. However, even there, we cannot deceive ourselves
unless we choose to be deceived for some reason. This may be to set ourselves up to grow, or it may be
that we simply have not done the self work to know the difference. In either case, it helps to focus on the
lessons that we came to learn. If we look inside, we will know what these are.

The directive from spirit is clear. Be whom that you are and do as you are moved to do. Trust the life
force that is expressing through you. Be kind! Treat people with the full respect that they deserve. Know
that you are spirit having a physical experience. Connect as often as you can to the spirit within and take
your guidance from there. Sure, there are outside sources that can be followed as well ... but the inner
ones are always the best and most direct. Intuition is the key. Develop it and use it often. It is how spirit
speaks to you and through you. Find the source of creativity within you and then apply it in some way
that serves others. Each of us have unique gifts and talents that are meant to be shared. It is for us to find
out what these are, develop them, and apply them in service. Service is everything, but only when it is
done with love. We are not meant to be slaves. We are meant to love what we do. Yet, it seems that
many have no yet reached this state of being. That is mainly because the social infrastructures are not in
place to support this. That will change. Some of us know that we are here to help facilitate this change.
Perhaps in time this will be many ... and the world will be transformed. Then again, it is not clear that
many are required. For changes whose time has come, all that is needed is a critical mass. What
constitutes "critical mass" remains to be seen. Though, it hasn't happened yet, or the infrastructures
would have changed already. This is part of what the dawning of the Age of Aquarius is all about. It
seems that the dawning has been going on for long enough. It is time for the dawn to finally arrive.

180
12 December 2003

Interesting, a 12/12 day. There are only 12 days of this format all year. The Hanged Man/The Hanged
Man. But, this is not as it seems. In the Tarot, the Hanged Man is enlightened, hanging by his foot seeing
the world upside down and hence seeing it rightly. Can that be true? Is it a simply a matter of seeing
things upside down to obtain enlightenment? That seems to be one way. And indeed, nearly everything
that we thought that we knew or that we believed becomes suspect when we awaken to spirit. We become
something vastly different than we were. The body is the same, as is the mind. But the awareness, the
occupant, has changed. How do we describe this change? We become aware of being the observer, the
witness to our lives. What is so special about that? It allows us to disassociate who we are from what we
do. This is a major distinction. It seems some live out their entire lives without coming to this
realization. That is OK. Awareness is never forced upon us. It doesn't come until we are ready for it ...
though at the time it is happening, we may not think that we are ready. However, what we think is not
important ... what matters is what we are. Though, it has also been said that as a man thinketh, so he is. It
is via our thoughts that we create our world and our reality. Yes, it seems like we are dealing with
contradictions here. However, it is more a matter of perspective. There is no one right and one wrong.
Life is full of contradictions. We have to find a way to live our lives in spite of this fact. Actually, this is
part of what makes life so magical ... the very fact that it can find ways to rise above these contradictions.
Yes, we can create reality via our thoughts. However, that doesn't make all of our thoughts correct. This
is especially true of thoughts regarding who we are. These will never capture all of us accurately and
completely. There will always be more to learn and discover about ourselves and about how we express
in the world. Self-discovery is one of our major challenges in life, at least for those along particular
spiritual paths. This does not seem to apply to everyone, however. There are many things that need to be
done in society. We don't need everyone to be a philosopher. We need a variety of people with a variety
of skills to accomplish the work that needs doing. Some are unskilled ... that is OK. But, no one should
be uneducated in the world. That is simply a lack of caring enough to apply the resources necessary to
educate everyone.

How do we change the world? How do we get people to function as a society and realize their
responsibility to all of the members of society? The closest things we have to that are countries, states,
counties, cities, and towns. These take limited responsibility for their own in particular areas only. The
organization is primarily governmental. It does not involve all of the citizenry. As a result, there is
limited ability to meet the spectrum of needs of the populace. That is to be expected. Government is not
a catch all meant to address all of the needs of society. However, what organizations do we have to
promote the public will in other areas? How do we address our economic and spiritual needs? What is
the contract between an individual and society? And, how does society fulfill its part of the bargain?
Society only does what individuals or groups of individuals do. How do we ensure that collectively we
are doing what must be done to meet the needs of all? Is this something we even need to worry about? If
we don't concern ourselves with it, we leave it to chance. Worse yet, we leave it to companies whose best
interests might not align with our own. It seems that if we want to create a better society, we need to take
responsibility for these things. It may not be easy, but we need to choose to expend the right resources to
address these issues anyway. Yes, this smack of master planning. But, is that not what creating a
community is all about. In fact, for many housing developments, being "master-planned" is considered to
be a good thing. Why shouldn't this be extended to the scope of the state, the country, and even the
world? The bottom line is that there is no reason that it shouldn't. Yes, some attempts at doing this have
failed dismally in the past ... communism in Russia and China are two cases in point. However, that only
means that the implementation was flawed. If we chose to stop after a few failed attempts, most of the
inventions in the world would never have seen the light of day.

Individually, we will be surprised at what we can do when we put both mind and heart into our
endeavors. We will be even more surprised at what we can achieve when we work with others in
181
cooperatively interdependent ways on our endeavors. The added power of people working together
towards common goals is phenomenal. What that means is that if we really want to achieve something,
we need to engage others in our endeavors. Sometimes that can be difficult to do. Loners, in particular,
will find this to be a challenge. However, it is worth the effort. The power of groups goes up at least
exponentially. However, we have to find ways for the group to function effectively. Typically, that
requires some type of division of labor and some amount of leadership. Fortunately, there are many
different types of people who can fill the various roles required. Be careful not to assign the wrong type
of person to a job. The result is inefficiency and lack of progress. Watch for signs that people have been
misassigned. People may try to hide these at first. But, when we get used to operating openly, this will
become natural feedback that is used to adjust group assignments. It also helps to know what type of
person you are. There are a variety of systems that categorize people. There is nothing good or bad about
any particular category in any of these systems. Knowing your category and that of others helps you to
take on assignments that allow you to do your best work and help you to better relate to others.

13 December 2003

Another fine day for a musing. We took some time yesterday to pull together the material for 2003
Musings - Vol III. It will be another lengthy sized book ... the last of its kind however. It is time for
something new. It is time to take the expression in a new and different direction. What that will be
remains to be seen. But spirit knows ... that is certain.

There is a destiny that is being played out. We are the pawns and pieces in a game of chess. As such, we
go where the chess master directs. Yet at the same time, we are the chess master as well for at least some
aspects of our life and we control or at least influence how the game of life plays itself out. We play the
game yet we are the very pieces in the game as well. We are both the observer and the actor. We are also
the creator. Actor, observer, and creator are aspects of the one that we are. Most of us associate most with
the actor. And, we play that role most of the time. Some of us have awakened to realize the observer.
Once awakened, the light of spirit is upon us and we can hide in darkness no longer. Very few have
realized the creator self. This part is very deeply hidden until we have the maturity to use our innate
powers responsibly. That doesn't mean that the creator self isn't operating ... it's just that it is operating
quietly behind the scenes at other than conscious levels. One goal of life is to make this process more
conscious.

The year is rapidly winding to a close. It has been a very productive year for the Beyond Imagination
expression. If only we could reach more people. It seems that such is what 2004 will be about ...
outreach on levels that we have not achieved before That is good. It feels like the time is right. To some
extent, we have been waiting ten years for this to happen. Over the years we have tried a variety of things
and effectively failed miserably. We took that as a sign that either the time was not right or the approach
needed work. Now, it seems that it is not so important that we reach many. We just need to reach the
right few that can help to make a difference. In this world, making a difference is what matters most.
There is always something that we can do to make a difference. It doesn't matter how rich or poor we
are. It doesn't matter what we do for a living. What matters is what is in our heart and how we can give
of ourselves to serve others. Service is everything. The Air Force has a motto ... service before self. We
would all do well to live by that motto and we would find that the world would indeed be a better place.
Yet, there are a lot of selfish people in the world. How do we get them to abide by this as well. Simply
expecting such behavior may or may not work.

Life doesn't just happen. We create the reality that we experience. We do this all of the time for
everything that we experience. It is time to take full responsibility for this, and if needed, do what it takes

182
to change what we experience. Belief management is critical here. Beliefs are one of the key
mechanisms through which we filter information and thus create the reality that we believe that we should
see. One major part of this is what we believe that we deserve. Typically, we do no get things that we
don't believe that we deserve. The key exception to this is for the universe to remind us that we are more
deserving than we believe ourselves to be. If we knew who we truly are ... we would find that we are far
more deserving than we ever dreamed. That is what is ultimately in store for us as we realize our divinity
as spirit manifest in flesh. How long this will take ... only spirit knows for certain. But, the world is
evolving in accord with some grand plan for the evolution of consciousness. We are part of that plan. We
are the very elements of that plan in motion. We are the consciousness that is evolving. In many respects,
we have gone about as far as we could go as individuals. At least, there are some individuals for which
that is true. The next grand endeavor is to join together to do works that could not be done otherwise, and
to create grand new things. There is so much promise and so much potential. It will happen. It simply
cannot be avoided. Here, spirit is running the show. And, she has much in store for us. Further, we have
much in store for us if only we will admit it. Spirit manifests her will through us. She has no other way
of doing her works in the world.

Spirit ... we speak of spirit a lot here. But, just what is spirit? Have we ever defined it? We have said
there is one spirit from which we all spring. But that doesn't define spirit. We have referred to her as
feminine, as the source of all inspiration and creation. Yet many do not seem to experience her in this
manner at all. That doesn't matter. We relate what we experience. If it applies, great. If not, find that
place within you that knows what is right for you. There is such a place in each and every one of us. It is
a matter of being still and evoking it into our lives. If we truly want to make the connection nothing can
stop it from happening. However, we may still have to work at it. Not to worry, working at spiritual
pursuits is fun and the rewards are great. There is a peace of spirit that comes from finding ones place in
the scheme of things. Once found, no one can ever take that away from us.

14 December 2003

Two weeks into December and we're still going strong. The new year and all it's promise lies
immediately before us. It is up to us to do with it what we will. The sense is that this is to be a special
year once again ... much as the past two have been. Though it the energy is different as well so what is
expressed will be different. 2002 was a productive year for these musings. 2003 brought the publishing
of eight books in addition to an expanded set of musings. How do we top that? Then again, this is not a
competition. Each year is to be judged on its own merit, if indeed it is to be judged at all. Whenever we
will that we can only do so much, it is time to reach within and find the strength to do what we thought
was impossible. So it seems anyway. Such is the challenge that we are faced with. We are meant to live
miraculous lives. Spirit is capable of all manner of miracles when we allow her to operate and express
through us. It is simply a matter of allowance and acceptance. That, and expectancy. We have to expect
to see miracles if we are to see them. Life itself is such a miracle. It baffles and intrigues and astonishes
us on every turn. It is truly a wonder to behold. The gift of life is truly a sacred blessing. It is something
that we are given freely. But, it is up to us to do something special with that gift and share of it with
others in some way, preferably in service. Service is not servitude. We are not enslaved, we are free.
When we serve, we choose to give of ourselves in a way that helps others. However, depending on the
type of service, we may or may not know whom we serve. This expression is a case in point. We don't
know of more than a few people who are reached by it. There may be many more than that, but they don't
provide feedback that shows how the Beyond Imagination expression impacts them.

183
How do we create a true community? That seems to be the next step in the evolution of spiritual
expression. There have been some intentional communities that have paved the way in the past century,
identifying and resolving many of the challenges of living in community. There was a book
entitled Builders of the Dawn that discussed many of these. I must have read it 15-20 years ago. At this
point I don't remember anything other than that it was quite good. We still have it in our bookshelves
somewhere. Now, however, it seems that we are moving beyond the dawn into the light of day in a new
age. How will we implement some of the concepts to create a spiritually based society? That is important
... such is what differentiates the Aquarian Age from other ages. It will still be experienced in the context
of individuals ... but they will be part of a larger whole, a society in which they live and function. How
long will it take to manifest? It could be here in the blink of an eye. We are already three full years into
the new millennium. At some point, the script calls for the setting to change. That could literally be at
any time.

So, what are we to do to fulfill our roles in this? As always, do what you are moved to do, when you are
moved to do it. That is how spirit operates through us. She moves us and motivates us ... though gently,
to do what she would do through us. When we are expressing spirit, this is among the highest expression
of which we are capable. Trust that spirit is showing you the way. Learn to listen to your intuition and
follow where it leads. This is your connection to spirit, to the source within you. Develop that connection
as much as you can that it may guide you to live the life that you are meant to live ... the life that you are
destined for. Destiny is not a bad thing. This is especially true of spiritual destiny. In some respects,
there is nothing that can take you off of your path. The very universe is there to assure that. Trust that
your life has meaning and purpose. For, indeed it does, even greater than you can imagine. This applies
to everyone, not just a special few. Though, some have far more to achieve than others ... dependant on
the gifts that they have been given. Such gifts are always meant to be used, and preferably in service in
some way. Though, it seems that this is not always the case. Many live selfish lives. That is OK. They
are living in accord with their state of awareness. In general, people are always doing the best they can
under the circumstances they find themselves under. That is a good belief to have about people.
However, what most fail to realize is that they have created those circumstances. This is the key that
allows us to change our reality. We are not subject to a host of forces outside of us. We choose what
forces are active in our lives. We do this primarily through beliefs. For most, all of this happens on other
than conscious levels. But, we can make it more conscious, far more conscious than we have experienced
to date, if we are willing to work on it. That means self work ... the greatest work there is. Here we get to
mold the clay of this vessel into what we will, preferably a vessel through which spirit can express more
fully and clearly. This is a lifelong endeavor. Actually, it seems to span all of our incarnations. It seems
that so long as we are spirit expressing in flesh, we will be moved to find ways to facilitate that
expression. As individuals, we can only do so much. Collectively, in small groups at first and then in
larger and larger groups, we can do so much more. We just need to desire to make it so and then do what
it takes.

15 December 2003

Another fine day to express. We've started putting together 2003 Musings - Vol III. If all goes well, we
should be able to complete it before we return from the holiday break. It will take a few weeks to put
together the money to pay to have it published, however. Christmas is eating up far more of my funds
than I thought that it would. That's OK. Christmas only comes once a year, as they say. It seems time to
think in terms of a short book ... maybe 150-200 pages of the best of Beyond Imagination. It also should

184
have a theme rather than just be a collection of best passages. Consciousness might make a good theme ...
or belief management and reality creation.

Throughout our lives, we do what is demanded of us. We do what we must. We do what circumstances
force us to do. But, there is a different way to live. We can control the very circumstances that we
experience. We can create our reality. We can do what we would do ... or what spirit would have us do.
It is all a matter of choice. We need to be careful about what we accept as directives in our lives. We can
be self-directed. We can be spirit-directed. It is all up to us. It always has been. This is where free will
comes into play. We can accept limitation, or we can turn away from it and seek freedom. What we seek,
we will eventually find ... we just need to seek sincerely for as long as it takes. We never know about the
timing of things. That is for spirit or the universe to decide. Though, that shouldn't stop us from doing
what we can to create things in our lives ... even with self-imposed deadlines if we desire. There is
nothing wrong with pushing ourselves. We need to be wary of going too far and causing too much stress.
However, a little challenge or even a big one now and then, is good for us.

What would life be without its challenges? These are what allow us to excel. These are what bring out
the very best in us. It seems that so long as we live and are willing to meet life openly ... we will have
challenges to deal with and obstacles to overcome. We may not always be as successful as we might
hope. However, all that matters is that we do our best or at least a reasonably good job. Some things are
worth doing, and other things just don't matter as much. It takes wisdom to know the difference. But,
there is a part of each of us where this wisdom resides. We just need to find it and tune into it. Further,
what matters to me may not matter to you very much at all. That is to be expected. We have different
challenges and different lessons to learn. It is only right that we would tailor our experiences to reflect
this. We do this all the time. We tailor our reality to what we need to experience. That is what reality
creation is all about ... creating the reality that we need to experience. Spirit operates from needs. She
knows what these are at all times. Since we are spirit in expression, in some respects we are really her.
There is only one consciousness, one spirit from which we all spring. That same one consciousness, one
spirit, animates us all. That is one reason that there is incredible cooperation in the world. Yes, it happens
at other than conscious levels much of the time ... but it happens nonetheless. Collectively, we are in the
process of making the cooperation much more conscious. When we do that, we unleash all manner of
spiritual energy to do its magic in the world.

When will the Aquarian Age finally arrive? What makes us think that it is not already here. The songs of
the 60's spoke of the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, the water bearer. That was nearly 40 years ago.
How long does the dawning process take? 50 years just popped into my mind. That would be another 10-
13 years from now. That puts us in 2013-2016 or so. Those are an interesting pair of years, the 13:Death
and 16:Tower years of the third millennium. Clearly, these are appropriate times for major
transformations. 2016 begs to be expressed as 216 = 6x6x6, one of the forms of 666:The Beast.

2004 rapidly approaches. It arrives in just over two weeks. Yet, we still don't know what to expect. We
still don't know what difference the energy for the year will make. That is OK. We can live with it being
whatever it will be. Regardless, we are moved to make the very best of it. Further, we know that such is
what we are destined to do. We are living a life of spirit now. When one lives such a life, the rules of the
game change. Everything becomes more benign. All manner of aid comes to our assistance. We become
capable of doing incredible and miraculous things. It is a matter of having the right attitude. There is a
sense that 2004 is going to bring some welcome changes in this area. Also, it is to be a year of outreach in
ways beyond anything we have experienced to date. That feels right. But, there is an element of fear that
arises with it as well. That is one of the problems that I face. Being such a loner for so long, I've become
set in ways that no longer serve me. They no longer support who I want to be and what I want to do.
When such happens, we have a choice to make ... a choice to be different than we have been before. Each
year brings its energy. Each of us react to that energy differently depending on our own energy. As a
185
result, some years have the potential for more than other years. By more, we mean more creativity, more
productivity, more awareness, more abundance, ...

18 December 2003

Missed two days of expression in a row. It seems that such will become more common in the days ahead.
There is something in store for this expression other than the daily musings. I still don't know what that
will be, though more directed expression seems to be called for. That is OK. It is time for something
new. I can use the rest of the year to wind down and work on several projects that are ongoing: 2003
Musings - Vol III, Beyond Mind, and Spiritual Interpretation of Numbers. I'm sure there are others
that will come up as well involving more focused expressions of the Beyond Imagination material. We'll
just have to see what I am moved to do.

There is a sense that major changes lay in store for 2004 ... changes on many fronts. I am ready for such
changes, as ready as I have ever been. In fact, I look forward to what lies ahead, not only for me, but for
the world. Why should 2004 be any different than any other year? In general, change happens to the
consensus very slowly ... even in this day and age. At least, that is true for the changes that truly matter.
Technology brings major changes to our world every year, but these don't necessarily impact us
personally unless we choose to embrace them. We can pick and choose what technology to consume in
our lives. By many standards, my reality is pretty backwards. I don't have a cell phone or a beeper, I
don't have cable at home or even a television aerial, I don't have a PDA or even a day planner for that
matter. I haven't worn a watch for over 20 years. I rarely use the telephone. However, I do have three
computers that I use. I would be lost without e-mail. And, I would have nowhere to express without
Netscape Composer and the Internet. I am an information generator in an information age. What more
could one ask to be?

Life is about the expression of consciousness, the expression of spirit in flesh. Yet, how many of us know
what consciousness really is? How many of us know how much of life occurs at other than conscious
levels? How many of us know the varieties of consciousness and of spiritual expression in our lives? My
guess would be far fewer than most people imagine. It seems that we have a tendency to believe that we
consciously know far more than we do. Generally, that doesn't hurt us ... for indeed there is some part of
us that knows. However, we need to be careful in this area ... careful not to presume too much. We are
spiritual beings, first and foremost. We are meant to know that, truly know that. Some things we can
doubt if we'd like, but this is not one of them. There is too much riding on it, literally all that we are.

We are meant to live our lives in accord with a higher purpose, with a mission that is uniquely ours.
However, this does not happen automatically. We have to do our parts. We have to play the roles we've
chosen. There are no surprises. We auditioned for and were selected for these very roles. We even create
the roles that we experience. Because of this, there is no one to blame but ourselves if we don't like what
we've gotten into. Many still play the victim however ... and others the victors. Such is not enlightened
behavior. We are what we are. We can be whatever we choose to be. That is an interesting way of
putting it since it seems that our range of choices is not completely free. Actually, free will and choice are
interesting concepts. In the play, we never really know whether things are scripted or whether we are free
to choose. Even the experience of choosing is not sufficient to confirm this. The