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The Paradox Of Game By Roosh Haters of game are usually quick to point out games paradox.

It goes something like this A major principle of game is not to put the pussy on the pedestal, but thats exactly what youre doing when you spend hundreds of hours learning and practicing game. I say that I dont put pussy on the pedestal, but Ive spent the good part of the last ten years doing everything I can to fuck pussy. How is that not a contradiction? Allow me to explain. Not putting pussy on the pedestal means not caring whether you fuck any particular girl. You could be a sex-crazed nympho player, but you wont give a damn if Stacy comes over to your house and decides not to fuck you. You could have quit your job to focus on game full-time, but you wont care if Jen flaked on you. You dont care about individual prospects, while caring immensely how to close prospects in general. I dont care that Stacy didnt fuck me, but I will try out new techniques to tighten my bedroom game. I dont care that Jen flaked on me, but I will implement a new tactic so theres a low chance of it happening again. Instead of putting pussy on the pedestal, Im putting my dick on the pedestal by modifying my behavior so it gets what it wants before pussy gets what it wants. Donald Trump is one of the worlds most famous real estate investors. He knows more about real estate than perhaps anyone else, living and breathing it every day of his adult life. Im sure he values his real estate business like a father values a son, but if he doesnt close a particular deal, will he be upset? Will his business empire crumble? No, he chalks it up and moves on to the next deal without losing any sleep. He puts his business on the pedestal, not individual properties. He will not close a deal unless his business benefits from it. You have to really want sex, more than anything, but not care about the outcome with any specific girl. You have to go out with the mentality of a rabid wolf, but not care if a girl doesnt like your approach or another girl doesnt want to kiss you. You must desire the goal, not the girl. Heres what you must think: I really want to fuck tonight, but I dont care if a girl I approach doesnt want to fuck me. Its doing everything you can to fuck girls, but not worrying if she doesnt want to fuck you. Its a subtle difference that, when understood, gives you the correct vibe to getting laid, of putting out a sexual vibe while not being needy, of being dedicated to

your goal while being aloof, of being aggressive but always having the will to walk away. In any bar Im sure I want to get laid more than anyone, but I walk away from prospects more often than any other guy, a behavior that actually gets me laid more than those guys. This is the paradox of game. I try hard while seemingly not trying, a balance that has taken me years to master. Until you get there, understand that you must have a strong desire to get laid in order to get laid. You must care about getting laid more than any other guy, but not care about getting get laid with her. Neediness and Relationships, by 60 Years of Challenge Great Relationships: Vulnerable... but not Needy It seems very few men truly enjoy their relationships with women. Despite studying this stuff for years, it's like they are constantly "on guard", just waiting for something to go wrong. Look, it's one thing to be good at "relationship game" and quite another to actually ENJOY your relationships. I'll be honest I don't meet many guys I consider good with long term relationships. That's because it's rare for a guy to possess both of the main qualities it takes to achieve this goal. The "special sauce" for great relationships: 1. be vulnerable 2. don't be needy It may seem like a contradiction but the men truly enjoying their relationships are vulnerable... but not needy. By vulnerable I mean their hearts are open, they love feminine energy and they are very affectionate people. They are comfortable both giving and receiving affection. They aren't afraid of being hurt. But don't be fooled, despite their affectionate nature these are not needy people. These men know they have the skills to meet new quality women if they ever became single again. This lets them be emotionally open and give fully without constantly worrying about her "losing interest". Which really is the point of having a relationship in the first place. Why having these TWO qualities is so rare Most guys I know that crave female affection are NEEDY. They NEED someone...anyone to love them so they can feel complete. Obviously at some point in the relationship women sense this and it becomes a huge turn-off. On the other hand, many community guys I meet that try to ACT "emotionally aloof" in the hopes of being a "challenge" are really just scared of being VULNERABLE.

You aren't fooling anyone dude. To me this "I don't care" attitude is an obvious overcompensation. You are desperately trying to learn every relationship trick in the book with the hopes that a woman will never be able to hurt you again. This paranoid mindset makes guys just as pathetic as a NEEDY person. You can't truly enjoy your relationships with women without being a bit vulnerable. And you won't become comfortable being vulnerable until you finally eliminate your neediness.

Escaping The State of Scarcity, by TheLetter People often like to draw the distinction between the "abundance mindset" vs. the "scarcity mindset", where in the "abundance mindset" a guy acts like there is a wealth of women in his life, as opposed to the "scarcity mindset" where a guy often is afflicted by neediness, desperation and one-itis due to his perceived lack of options. While it is true that a guy who genuinely is experiencing abundance will be a more effective seducer, the fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude is often just an exercise in mental masturbation. The more important distinction to draw is between living in a genuine state of abundance vs. a state of scarcity. In a genuine state of abundance, a guy has access to a number of sexual options, and legitimately has a steady stream of new girls coming through his life. In contrast, a state of scarcity exists when the pool of girls in his life is genuinely static and unchanging. A concrete example of this is a guy who does not approach, and whose social life revolves around a fixed social circle. With such a guy, a lack of options is not even an issue of perception, he genuinely is limited to the girls in his social circle. The interesting thing is, even guys who have many genuinely attractive traits can be stuck in states of scarcity due to their lifestyles. Through my lair, I once met a very good looking, well-dressed guy, with a lot going for him career-wise. You'd expect this guy to be getting laid like mad, but the fact was his social life revolved around his fixed social circle, so he was literally faced against a scarcity of sexual options. How to transition from a guy with no sexual options, to a guy with numerous ones is a question that plagues a lot of beginners. But just by becoming an approacher, a guy introduces new streams of women into his life. By choosing to go from wallflower, to someone open to walking up to and meeting new girls, a guy exposes himself to a constant stream of approachable women in his life. Within this stream of approachable women, is a constant stream of good opportunities. Most field reports have at least one or two interactions that were good opportunities, where the girl was actually attracted. Sure, a newer guy might not

have to skill set and confidence to close on all those opportunities, but they opportunities are still there. The fascinating this is being in a state of abundance of opportunities isn't so much "achieved" as it is "identified" by seducers as they get more experienced, looking back and realizing how many girls they have been attracting all along. Appreciating the frequency and regularity of good opportunities was perhaps the single most important thing in becoming a much less needy guy for me. In some of my developmental stages, I'd go out a lot and be frustrated by mixed results. But then I'd look back, and see that I was having successes at a regular rate, if not as frequent as I'd have liked. Eventually, I improved my frequency as well, but it was the peace of mind in knowing that the regular opportunities were out there that really changed things. Even if I have a bad night or a week, I can still identify the good opportunities I did have, and more importantly, I know for a mathematical fact that there are more opportunities waiting for me the next time I go out, and my next pull is always just around the corner, even if it doesn't happen tonight. Appreciating that I was living through a constant stream of opportunities was a key factor in escaping the deadly state of scarcity.

One-itis vs. Chemistry, by The Cost of Success Neediness, comes from an overly obsessed focus on one thing. There is only one fatal flaw in seduction, and that is obsession on one girl. If you obsess on one girl, you become delusional and detached. And this is frighteningly enough the only real way to be repulsive to a woman. Not necessarily because of any external factor, but because you now become incapable of solid and reasonable thought. You get caught up in your own little world, and your own little indulgences. Kind of like depression. It's easy to fall. Just like its easy to mope around and be an ass to everyone. And think you are hard done by. But truth is, in life, it's not about this obsessed view of the world where you are special and the only person to ever affect you is special too (wow go figure). Truth is, women are amazing creatures, and so are you. But you become less amazing and so do they, if they obsess on one person, as the solution to everything. One-itis can last a while, but ultimately, it tapers out, and turns into a horrible beast, as you realise, you fell, for apparently no real good reason. Now, I'm not one to say falling is a bad thing. But it certainly can be managed, and this may provide you with the strength and gusto you need, to create chemistry in your relationships or your lifestyle. My rule is simple: Don't get one-itis. And then everything else you do in seduction is gravy. Think about it. Age old wisdom suggests, don't be needy, clingy, or like them

too much. Well this is an awfully simple task, if they aren't your obsession. You can like someone a lot sure. You can think them beneficial in your life.. But when it crosses the line into obsession and false dependency. Then you are playing a silly game. One that isn't easy to heal or fix. If you don't have one-itis, you aren't going to be needy, you aren't going to be clingy, and you aren't going to 'like them too much'. So from then on. If you know to manage one-itis. What you now know, is the absolute basic of seduction. The absolute minimum you need to not go AWAY from your goals. Its not necessarily the case however, that all obsession is oneitis. So depending on your lifestyle, you should really choose how involved you get with women and plan your strategy for dealing with oneitis around that. If you are going to foster close relationships make sure to take some breaks. Don't absolutely see her all the time. Have other friends, and keep your MIND OPEN to knew possibilities. There is no telling how HEALTHY it is, to think of other options, in regards to removing one-itis. Remember, its not the girl that's important, its that you create REAL CHEMISTRY not double sided delusion chemistry where each person is living a different deluded life, where they have fallen for a fake image of the other. This is only going to end in sickness, and unwell behaviors towards each other. Keeping a healthy distance, allows you both breathing room, and whilst it hurts. Hurting isn't such a bad thing. Thinking you don't hurt, for months, only to realise, you've just screwed yourself, is what really stings. The basis of seduction, is just managing one-itis and obsession properly. Being aware that it is the most powerful pitfall, and one that if you manage well, can guide you towards better and healthier relationships. Whether they be short term or longer engagements. Avoiding one-itis, is not about not falling in love. Its about, allowing space for real chemistry to bloom and grow. And chemistry grows, to remove distance. So the more you remove one-itisy feelings, the stronger the chemistry is going to have to be to keep you together. And the more the relationship is about chemistry, the more REAL the connection is. And the more you will see the other person for who they are.. instead of being a desperate needy, and now unattractive weaker version of yourself. If you manage to keep one-itis down (usually by not focusing on thoughts that increase it.. aka don't think about her all the time) then you will keep, health, well being, vitality and happiness UP!!! Plus by dealing with such a thing, you'll be a more powerful and strong man, or woman. And someone that people would more likely benefit from being in a relationship with. And isn't that what we all want?

Plus, less one-itis, means more chemistry and the less needy your girl is, the more attractive she is. So attractive couples have chemistry. Dweeby couples have oneitis. So it changes the self image of your coupling too.. which protects you both from wanting to look elsewhere. (you both probably will look elsewhere, but maybe not choose to act on it cuz you don't feel like you are with someone weak and not of worth). And lets face it, enriching her attractiveness, is just as important as your own. So base relationships off chemistry, and keep obsessions out of it. And you will not be needy or clingy. You'll be stronger, more attractive, and a more fair lover. We all win.

Neediness Management Handles Itself, by Aaron Sleazy I never really understood the discussion around neediness management. Of course, there is the community cliche of the guy who wants to make the first girl he manages to lay his girlfriend, only to revert to his old submissive behaviour around women. Then, there are the typical horndogs that go after anything that walks. Its no surprise the women they interact with lose interest fast. Nobody wants to feel easily replaceable. Once you have gotten to a level where you can get a fair amount of sex, you will stop to care. When I got to the point of living in literal sexual abundance, I couldnt care less whether I got laid or not. My usual setup consisted of a regular girl in an open relationship, a friend with benefits I saw about once a week, and the occasional hookup. This lifestyle was fun for a while, but it didnt take me long to get to the point where it almost felt like work. It was hard to sustain, and if you think the player lifestyle is nothing but great fun, then wait until you get to that point. You can literally get tired of sex. (On a less serious side-note, it is probably no coincidence that Swedish has a verb for that, whereas German requires almost a full sentence to express the same.) An interesting realisation I had in this context was that girls are starving much more for sex than guys. This might be a common experience for Joe Average as well: as soon as he finds himself in an official relationship with a girl, hell go through some weeks in which he has to please her day in and day out. Or think of some of your same night lays --- didnt you have one or the other girl that was so glad to finally get to play with some cock after an undue period of absence that she wanted to do it again, and again, and again? I couldnt care less whether I get laid or not, because I have seen it all, and I have achieved a level that by far exceeded my wildest dreams. Eventually game began to feel repetitive to me --- Whats the point in having yet another five-minute

bathroom pull? ---, and I changed my focus to other aspects of my life. I suspect that similar experiences are one of the main reasons why pick-up and seduction, at least on more extreme levels, are only phases people go through. In the end, many want more than sex, and begin to realise what sex really is: just sex. You almost wonder what all the fuss is about. Good point. It's great to see people trying to really grasp these advanced aspects of what it is to be masculine, a man, and just a well-rounded human being. It's just great to get different questions other than the typical ones that keep getting repeated by people who are just arriving at the SDB party. It is counter-intuitive that you can be vulnerable and still be dependable and unstoppable. You can be scared and be courageous. So your question hits at the a key fundamental aspect of what it is to really be these things. So being the best version of human is not about becoming some kind of superman, or immortal who can't be harmed by anything, either physically or mentally.

It is more about releasing the sword of will from its stone.


The what?! It is coming to know and forgive your 'faults' your 'shortcomings' and to see that they are often the dark aspect or side to your gifts, your 'powers', and what differentiates you from others. The most worthy things will result when you're responsible for both the dark aspects of your self, and are an empowered advocate for the good aspects of yourself too (just because they are good won't mean others will give you a clear run - you have to stand your ground, despite any fear). When you're behaving to reach this ideal state - you will still be scared. You're not then 'cured' or free from the primal response of fear. You don't want to be. Fear is a key function of your mind's heuristic processes: being alerted to a potentially serious situation. The best response is courage; and I mean courage - not pride, or foolhardiness or macho bull. When you're courageous, and responsible and dependable you aren't compromising any of those behaviours by showing that you get you're still vulnerable. That certain things can hit you hard. Very hard.

Vulnerability from a man like that, means something very different than from a guy who has not undergone this process. Coming from a man that bears the full weight of the sword of will, it's attractive. It will mean a great deal to a woman as it shows that you will 'open', show or make available the 'soft' humanity that does lie inside the outter aspect of your true masculinity. If nothing else, it shows you are actually a complete human, not just a hardened ironman or psycho, with a lack of empathy and ability to connect with the outter world. You can do more than just operate physically on the world; and on her. Why? Because when women were children, they got to experience this soft side to what seemed like an all capable and towering masculinity: their father's. They felt safe, they felt loved and they felt special. They want that feeling again. So all hard with no special place for a special girl equals no joy for a woman, though many will stay in the hope that one day she'll get the emotional reciprocation she longs for. Now what, 60 years of challenge is pointing out, is that when PUAs act emotionally distant, they are trying to recreate the behaviour, the emotional distance and space, of the integrated man, the man that has undergone the process I described. Winning the attention of this kind of man, is the 'challenge' women are primed to try and win. The payoff is, as I pointed out above, feeling once again sincerely what they knew in childhood. It will also be great in terms of the protection and resourcefulness (that's resourcefulness NOT resources) that she'll gain from this pairing.