While building my genogram I interviewed 5 family members. They gave me rather comprehensive information about my relatives.

Based on my own observation and information received from family members I constructed genogram consisting of 3 generations my, my parents and my grand-parents. First of all I would like to examine my fathers parents relationships from a counseling perspective. As it is clear from genogram my grand-father, Tom Cartney, abuses alcohol. This issue influenced greatly theirs relationships it spoiled them. He had difficulties with his job. He was given a sack and had nothing to do but drink more and more in order to suppress his bad emotions and feelings. However, it was not he who suppressed his negative feelings it were they that suppressed him. With every day gone he drank more and more. My grand-mother, Sarah Cartney, felt like she was losing him, like he was marrying alcohol and divorcing her. It was awful, my father, Oscar Cartney, told me. When my father was young he lived in constant oppression from the side of his father. Due to the fact that his father could not earn money because he was drunk all the time they lived poorly. My grand-mother was in a constant state of depression. In addition to depression she acquired arthritis. My grandparents still live together but relationships between them are spoiled forever. It is difficult to forget bad things and leave them in the past. That is why quality of my grand-parents life is very low. They live under constant pressure of memories and feelings connected with theirs past. Now my grand-father suffers from heart disease. He is an old man now, 77, but I think that if he had not been drinking in the past he would not have had heart illness and broken relationships with my grand-mother. Maybe my grand-mother would not have suffered from arthritis now if she had not been in depression in the past because it is stress that makes our organism undergo different illnesses. My other grand-father, Ray Benjamin, and my grand-mother, Courtney Benjamin, had not better relationships than my fathers parents. It is generally known that if 2 egos collide

there going to be a big bang. My grandparents have big egos and no one of them is willing to admit others point of view. Trying to prove ones point of view my grand-parents burst like bubbles because of negative emotions and feelings inside of them. As a result they had fights and did not talk to each other for months. I think that if one of them started yielding to the other they would find the way to a comfortable and peaceful life. However, they are not going to make concessions and that is why they still argue in their seventies. Because of stress hormone which appeared in their vascular systems they suffer from different illnesses. My grand-mother suffers from high blood pressure, heart disease and my grand-father suffers from diabetes. These illnesses are directly connected with stress hormone level. The more stress you have, the more stress hormone is thrown into your blood, the more damage it makes to your organism and immune system. My grand-mother suffered from quinsy but her tonsils fell off themselves without surgery. If she had not been nervous she would not have had high blood pressure which led her to heart disease. If my grand-father had not been nervous too sugar level would have been much lower in his blood. However, they could not concede to each other and have spent their whole life in quarrels. As to my uncle, Nick Benkamin, and aunt, Leila Benjamin, they have the same situation as my mothers parents each of them does not want to yield to the other. There is no mutual understanding in this family. Due to the fact that there is no understanding there is no love too. Uncle Nick takes no part in upbringing and educating his children. Aunt Leila does it. In addition to this she does the whole household. However, my uncle earns money for the whole family but I think this does not justify him. No matter how busy you are children need your care and attention. Uncle Nick plays with them only when he wants to. He does not pay attention to his children if they want it. This situation affected strongly relationships between him and his wife. They argue all the time. Maybe if aunt Leila showed for some time understanding to uncle Nick they would have got on well together and vice versa. Because of

uncles hot temper he let himself beat his wife for her weeping. After this he went out to have a drink in order to kill his anger. I think it is forbidden under any circumstances. Relationships between my father, Oscar Cartney, and mother, Leila Cartney, are good. They can tell each other what they feel, how they feel inside. They can listen to critics without trying to find something to fight back. All in all they get on well together. Sometimes they argue but in every family members argue it is inseparable part of family building. There was one problem which I think my father received on a genetic level from his father taste for alcohol. There were times when he drank but he understood that this is not the way out and quitted it. Now they live happily together in love and understanding. As to relationships between me, Andrew Cartney, and my wife, Valerie Cartney, they are good too. I had some difficulties with suppressing my ego but I managed to do it. I have no taste for alcohol and other addictive things. My parents gave a good example of how one should act in relationships with a person he loves and it helped me a lot not to repeat mistakes made by my previous generations. Having analyzed relationships between family members of 3 generations I understood that we have so called qualities characteristic to all of my relatives namely aggression and big ego. Some of my relatives managed to cope with them but some did not. From my genogram it is clear that my grand-parents had problems with understanding each other and that is why their relationships were spoiled. My uncle did not manage to cope with these negative qualities. He gives way to his temper and lets himself do abnormal things. Maybe his children will improve this instead of him. My parents did manage to find the ways of how to understand and give love to each other. This they passed down on me. From this genogram it is clear that each generation gets wiser than the previous one in respect of relationships and ways of treating each other. I hope that my descendants will make this genogram free of stress and aggression signs.