Chapter 1: Murdercat

I'm pretty sure fast food saved my life. It was one of those innocuous decisions, one
that a college student makes on a daily basis; do I eat the cafeteria's idea of food, or do I
spring for something a little more palatable? In this case, my roommate Jacob and I opted for
the latter.

As we sat eating, it was pretty quiet. Jacob and I aren't exactly pictures of health, and
when food is around it tends to end any semblance of conversation we might have had. Jacob
was the first to break the silence.

“Jesus, look at that cat!” Well, it was something I guess.

“What?”

“The cat by the dumpster.” I turned to look. HOLY SHIT! The cat was around 6 feet
long, give or take a foot or so, and stood at around 2 feet tall.

“That is, without a doubt, the biggest cat I have ever seen. What does it eat?
Toddlers?” I said this last bit only half kidding.

“Nah. I suppose it says something about the food we're eating, though.” He had a
point.

“What would you even call something like that?”

“Eh... Lardantuan? Humongasaurus Rex?”

“How about Murdercat?” Where did that come from? Jacob seemed to like it, though.
At that precise moment, he laughed, snorting Cherry Coke clear across the table. That got
some impressive distance, I thought. I opened my mouth to say something about it when I
saw it. Out in the distance, across the street, I saw some dude get out of his car and just go
ballistic. He ran headlong at the nearest pedestrian and dove straight at her. The ferocity of
his attack was startling; before I knew it, I was on my feet with my nose pressed to the
window watching the human drama unfold. If I had been a more upstanding citizen I probably
would have thought to cross the street and help out, but I was rooted to the spot. The dude
hurtled a shopping cart and just flat out tackled the poor woman. If I had to guess I'd say she
was in her early sixties, and every bit as big as Jacob and I put together.

“Hey Jake, we should get over there. That looks bad.” Better late than never.

“Shit. Yeah, we probably should.” Jacob and I took off for the car. Well, I mean I took off
for the car and Jacob limped to it. The limp was a souvenir from a car accident he had been in
three years prior, before we met. From what I understand, it was pretty rough on him, so
whenever we go somewhere he insists that he drive. I usually just tag along to save gas.
 We piled in his Corolla and shot across the street. There wasn't much traffic; there
never was. Of all the college towns in America, this had to be the smallest. Consisting of only
6 fast food restaurants, a Wal-Mart, and a few other assorted businesses, the town of Dayton
was a pretty small affair. I shifted my feet through the garbage in the floor and got ready to
jump out as we approached the scene. Shit, I thought, there's blood everywhere.

“Oh, damn. Oh, DAMN.” Jacob eloquently summed up the situation with all the dignity
that was possible at the moment. Violent crime was pretty rare around here, but this was just
brutality. Jacob pressed the brake to the floor, and I jumped out, unarmed. Not my brightest
moment. I heard sirens in the distance as I approached the scene. A crowd began to form
behind me, no one wanting to get any closer than necessary to satiate their curiosity. I edged
closer; the picture in front of me would haunt me for a while to come. On top of the woman sat
the dude. The dude was chewing. As I watched, he tore chunks out of the woman and stuffed
them into his mouth like a deranged animal. His eyes were glowing with the purest
manifestation of hate I have ever seen in my life. The woman was already dead.

“Oh God.” Jacob said as he walked up behind me.

“Yeah. This is... awful. I- I don't know...” I was interrupted by the dude's sudden shriek. I
was then interrupted by the police's arrival on the scene. I was then further interrupted by the
sounds of panic as the dude hurled himself at the mass of humanity gathered around the
scene. Jacob and I didn't even need to stick around to figure out what had happened. As we
peeled out of the parking lot in his Corolla, the sounds of panicked gunfire and screams filled
the air and punctuated our escape.

After we had some distance between us and the crazy guy we switched on the radio to
try and catch a radio report on what had happened. What I heard next was chilling.

This is a breaking news report. All across Tennessee there have been violent attacks
launched against random passers-by. The attacks, dubbed the “Tennessee Valley Madness”
are NOT unique to the area. Reports are trickling in of these attacks happening all over the
nation. If you are witness to one of these attacks, please, report it to your local police and
then get away as quickly as possible. This has been a breaking news report.

“Oh, fuck. That's bad,” I offered. It seemed like an understatement.

“You think?” Ah, Jacob. Always sarcastic.

“Yeah. You know what else I think?”

“What's that?”

“We need to get some weapons. Let's head to that gunstore up on highway 27.” This
seemed like a solid plan to me, as long as we got there before the rest of the masses.

“I actually agree with you for once. Let's go.” As Jacob finished the sentence, he turned
onto the highway.

I'm not sure quite what I was expecting. The town was just as peaceful as always, as if
I had just imagined the whole nightmare with the earlier attack. I turned to Jacob and asked
“Did... did I just dream that? I mean, you'd think the whole town would be panicking right
now...”

“Nah. I'm sure they just think it was a fluke thing.”

“So what do you think it is?”

“Isn't it obvious dude? Zombies.” I was a little taken aback by this. I had a feeling that
what we had witnessed was not a natural event, but zombies?

“But zombies don't...don't exist. How could that be a zombie? Besides, aren't zombies
supposed to be slow? That dude was like an olympic sprinter!” My mind immediately turned
up several more objections to the zombie theory like it had been preparing for just such a
ludicrous occasion.

“Actually dude, I've been doing some research. Zombies are totally possible. Have you
ever heard of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease?” I had to say that I hadn't.
“Uh... No.”

“Basically, it's mad cow disease for humans.”

“Ok, so what does that have to do with zombies? Wouldn't that just make the humans
have seizures and die and render them inedible?”

“Funny. Some of the symptoms have similarities to the shambling zombies that we see
in horror films. If it got mutated in a certain way...”

“Wait, so when did you become a fucking scientist?”

“Never. Just really like zombie movies.”

“So you formed your own theory as to how they could really exist?”

“Well, yeah, kinda.”

“Well, what is it?”

“Okay, basically, someone near a nuclear reactor like the one at Oak Ridge contracts
CJD and then it mutates into full on zombie-syndrome.”

“That... doesn't seem likely.”

“Well, hell. What do you want from me? I'm just a zombie aficionado, not a zombie-
ologist.”

“That much is apparent.” As we finished the absurd conversation, we pulled up at the

gun store and hopped out. I dumped the contents of my backpack into Jacob's backseat and
walked in.
 “Well hello thar, fellas! Welcome to Mister Earl's Armory! If'n you see somethin' ya like,
let me know and I'll fix ya up!” He seemed almost blissfully upbeat. I decided to ask him if he'd
heard the news about the murder in Dayton. I refused to believe it was 'zombies.'

“So... You, uh, hear the news?” I asked as I stalked around his store, feeling the
balance of the shotguns in my hand and choosing carefully. If I was gonna trust one of these
with my life, I had better get a good one. Jacob was checking out the handguns and had a
nice Beretta up, checking the slide. Actually, I say that's what he was doing, but neither of us
knew that much about guns; his checking the slide was probably just something he saw in a
movie.

“What news you talkin' about, bubba?” Bubba is a term of endearment most people
around here use. I've never quite 'gotten' it; who knows?

“The murder that happened earlier in Dayton.” How had he NOT heard of this?

“What? A murder you say! No wonder you boys are buying guns! Protecting yerselves,
I like that. Tell you what. I'll give ya a discount! Whaddya say?” I... What? Is he retarded?

“Yes! We will take any discount you can give us!” At least Jacob wasn't too stunned by
the man's idiocy to answer in the affirmative. We walked up to the counter with two handguns
each, a shotgun apiece, a rifle with a scope, and several boxes of ammo. I hoped this
wouldn't cost a whole...

“Yer total is $1995.95. Cash or credit?” Holy crap, was he serious?!

“Are you serious!? Is that before or after the discount?!”

“Oh, yeah, the discount. The new total is $785.82,” he said with a wry grin. That's a bit
better. Bastard.

“Better make it credit, then.” I don't know why, but I had a hunch that it wouldn't matter
anyway. And if Jacob was right... Well, credit would be the least of my worries.

“Thank'ee kindly, bubba. You boys take care!”

I loaded all the ammo I could carry into my backpack and carried the rest of the
weapons outside to the car. Jesus, I thought, I just spent a TON of cash on these things. I
hope it's worth it. I tossed the backpack into the back and slid into the passenger's seat of the
car as Jacob fired it up. The car sputtered to life with a groan and we slowly backed out onto
the highway.

The view was pretty scenic on our way back to town. Lots of rolling hills, trees, some
farmland; typical for a rural area. And cows. So many cows. I wonder if that's where all this
madness started?Like Jacob said: Mad Cow Disease? And what if I'm wrong, and this is all
just a fluke? I grimaced at the thought of paying off almost eight hundred dollars plus interest
on top of student loans. It's funny how the human mind works; even when faced with a crisis
of this magnitude, I was looking at the bright side, if you could call it that. I found this odd,
because I was definitely not an optimist in any form. But I had no way of knowing the full
impact of this crisis. Not yet.

It was Jacob who finally broke the silence. “So you think the town's on fire yet?”

“Don't even joke about that, dude.”

“Aww, come on. You know the people in this town are-” he stopped as we rounded a
bend and saw the smoke billowing from a patch of land behind some trees.

“You just had to open your fucking mouth.” It was at that precise moment that we
passed a clearing and saw a farmer burning a pile of what I assumed to be trash. That's pretty
common out here. It's fast, easy, and saves a trip to the landfill. Not to mention it just looks
kickass. Hell, half the people around here use the “bonfire” as an opportunity to invite their
friends over and get hammered. Needless to say, it's not exactly safe to be driving around one
of those.

“See dude? Relax.” Jacob sounded amused.

“Yeah, I'll relax when we get back to the dorm.”

We were entering town. It looked normal, almost peaceful, like a small town should.
And then we passed the strip mall. There was a huge, bustling crowd outside of the Goody's.
On any other day I would have assumed it to be a doorbuster sale, but this time was different.
I couldn't quite place it, but the SWAT team vans definitely seemed out of place. Morbid
curiosity got the better of me.

“Jacob, pull in over there. I wanna see if it's another attack.” Jacob's semi-permanent
cheesy grin faded.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I need to know if I should have my gun loaded for when we get back to the
dorm.” With a heavy I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this sigh, Jacob complied and we instantly
regretted it.

A woman with empty, soulless eyes immediately assaulted our rolling sanctuary.
“FUCK!” I exclaimed helpfully. Jacob jerked the wheel hard and threw her off. She hit the
ground with a splatter clearly audible through the metal doors of the car and lay still.

“Ho-lee shit.” Jacob said. It seemed appropriate. We parked and watched the masses
struggling. But they didn't seem the be going anywhere. In fact, the teeming, throbbing mass
of humanity seemed to be crowding around something lying on the ground. Oh shit, I thought,
Jacob was right. They HAVE to be zombies. What else could they be? We watched as a
police baton appeared between the legs of a rather large man wearing one of those wife-
beater undershirts. It was stained with what appeared to be motor oil and blood. Then we
noticed that the arm that held the police baton was not attached to anything. And then we
noticed that the armless officer in question was walking towards us, muttering something
under his breath and making chomping motions. The look in his eyes was a bit off-putting as
well. It's not everyday that someone compliments you on your tastiness using their eyes
alone.

“Hey Jacob? I think it's time to go now.” Without a word, Jacob threw the car into
reverse and for the second time that day we sped out of a strip mall parking lot to a
cacophony of screams.

What's with those places, anyway? It was a fair question. Why strip malls? Jacob was
pushing the little Corolla's four-cylinder engine as hard as it would go as we sped back to our
dorm. I'm not sure why we decided to return to the dorm, as I was pretty sure it was a
deathtrap by now, but old habits die hard. The scene as we sped through town was grisly; an
arm here, a leg there, the shambling undead wandering the town like they owned the place.
And I guess they kinda do. We passed an overturned schoolbus with a large red puddle
underneath it, and my stomach did some acrobatics. Damn, I thought, any other day and
we'd have stopped in a heartbeat. Jacob sped on, lips pressed tight, and I knew he was trying
to hold down lunch.

Traffic was surprisingly light; at least, it was as we headed back into town. The line to
get out of town was the biggest traffic jam this town had ever seen. A few brave souls on
motorcycles were weaving in and out of traffic, but they were the only ones moving at all. We
turned into our college's driveway and hit speedbumps like they were challenges. I knew that
if the dorms weren't already filled with flesh-starved murderers, they soon would be.

“So you gonna run up the stairs?” Jacob asked.

“I guess I don't have a choice. You're not running up there with that leg.”

“Damn straight.”

“I'm gonna chuck all our shit out the window. As soon as it hits the ground, shovel it into
the trunk and let's get the fuck outta dodge.” Sounded like a damn good plan to me.

“Alright then.”

I took the stairs two at a time. We lived on the 4th floor, so it was a pretty decent trek.
The dorms were eerily empty. I wonder if they've evac-ed the dorms or something? I got up to
the dorm and realized I had forgotten my key. Fuck! Of all the times... I just started kicking the
door like a manic, until eventually the bolt popped loose. I grabbed all the clothing I could find
and stuffed it into a duffel bag, which then went out the window. Jacob scooped it up and
tossed it into the trunk of the car and I turned to run downstairs. That's when I realized where
all the students went as they all piled up the stair s I had just run up and sprinted down the
hall towards me.

Now, there are pros and cons to attending a small college; the biggest pro is the small
student body and low student to teacher ratio. The biggest con is that there's not exactly a lot
of girls to go around. Only one of those mattered now, though. I turned to run down the
staircase on the other side of the building, only to realize that it was slowly filling up as well.
Oh, shit. Weaponless and trapped? This is going to end just like every horror movie ever. I
surveyed my surroundings. I could make it to the third floor, most likely, and then jump down
onto that awning over the second floor exit. I might turn an ankle, but it's better than being
chewed to death. I figured that was the best plan I was gonna get, so I moved quick. I jumped
down the stairs and used a fire extinguisher to smash the windows out. With a quick running
start, I hurled myself out the window and onto the awning below. The awning had the courtesy
to then collapse under my weight and smash to the ground. Son of a bitch. I rolled over,
pushed myself to my feet, and began the short sprint to the car. As I bounced off the door,
Jacob jumped and drew his handgun.

“Whoa, dude! It's me!” I shouted as I jerked the door open. “Punch it, Chewie!”
“Hey, you ever think we should warn the students?”

“Yeah, that's gonna be a no. The 'students' just chased me out of the building. Fuck
'em.”

“Oh... Damn.” Yeah, damn. Then Jacob asked the best and worst question I'd heard all
day. “Where are we going?”

“How's Wal-mart sound?” I asked.

“Like a deathtrap, full of zombies.” he replied.

“That's why we have guns. We gotta find somewhere to hole up.”

“Alright, we'll check it. But if it looks too bad, I'm fucking outta there.”

“Fair enough, Jake.”

It was around this time that it really sunk in how lucky we were. What if we had been in
the cafeteria with everyone else? What if we HADN'T witnessed that dude attack that
woman? What if...

I pushed the 'what ifs' to the back of my mind as I steeled myself for the task ahead. However,
I couldn't help but wear an ironic smile as I realized that fast food, the food they warn you
about in the news, had saved my life.