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This compilation of 25 essays is in three parts. The first considers my changing life style and this leads to reflections on being a hermit and on the renunciation that this embraces. Part one notes some issues in adapting to the freelance work life and ends with an upbeat consideration of what might be considered basic and what extra. Part two reflects on the life of a hermit in this case a freelancer writer who lives alone and works from home. Quiet sitting has to feature if there is to be peace of mind and compassion. Part three notes that renunciation comes naturally and easily to those who turn their minds around. There are now more of these people. There is therefore hope for the future.

George Clark (clark@srds.co.uk ) January 2014

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Contents
PART ONE LIFESTYLE ............................................................................................................... 3 Better ways to be human .................................................................................................................4 The burned out issue .......................................................................................................................6 My fifth decade ................................................................................................................................ 7 Self-less freelancing ........................................................................................................................ 8 Basics and Extras .............................................................................................................................9 PART TWO HERMIT ................................................................................................................. 10 Thoughts are made by talking ....................................................................................................... 11 What to do? .................................................................................................................................... 12 How to start your day .................................................................................................................... 13 Rhinoceros turning ........................................................................................................................ 14 A continuum of withdrawal ........................................................................................................... 15 The urge to write ............................................................................................................................ 16 Living alone .................................................................................................................................... 17 A source of stories .......................................................................................................................... 18 Ranting quick and slow ................................................................................................................ 20 PART THREE RENUNCIATION ............................................................................................... 21 Transcendental Intentionality ......................................................................................................22 Mind Watching ..............................................................................................................................25 On being normal ........................................................................................................................... 26 Let slip from mind ......................................................................................................................... 27 Life stages and motivations .......................................................................................................... 28 What people want ......................................................................................................................... 29 To change my mind ...................................................................................................................... 30 Self-made millionaires and mystics .............................................................................................. 31 Once born again let the mud settle ............................................................................................33 Levels of Consciousness ................................................................................................................ 35 Renunciation is in our plastic genes ............................................................................................. 37

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PART ONE LIFESTYLE

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Better ways to be human

What state am I in? Another morning with a background of vague existential disease. If I had a regular 9-5 job it would call me into meaningful action for a large part of most days. But I do not have such a job so I am left to my own devices. This might be OK except that I am no longer sure about what my own devices might include. I have become self aware to the extent of being increasingly convinced (intellectually and emotionally) of the illusory nature of the individuated self. This might also be OK except that the new way of thinking has not yet stabilised. This means that cognitive dissonance (and a constant switching of world views) remains a common and existentially unsettling feature of the mind state. This might also be OK except that I am not yet able to face the uncertainty with other than guilt, fear, shame and stress. I am still rooted in the idea that I should be in control of what goes on in my mind. I have intellectually appreciated this situation for a long time but it is only recently that the implications have begun to erode the emotional/intuitional foundations of the pre-existing world view1. I have not yet learned how to go with this flow with humour and good grace. Alienation Angst Anguish Anxiety Burn out Copping a wobbly Dark night of the soul Depression Despair Disaffection Dis-ease Dissonance Dour Dreech Ennuie Estrangement Existential crisis Failure to cope Fretfulness Melancholy Morose Nervous breakdown Nihilism Sadness Stress The blues World weariness

So how did I get myself into this state? To answer this question requires being clear about what the state is. There are many words that might be used to describe it (see box). The essence as I presently see it (there are variations depending on the mood2 that I am in) is dis-ease. I am not comfortable in my skin. I find it difficult to be open, spontaneous and free-flowing. To quote an early song: He rationalised his thought about everything he sought And so he annihilated pleasure Every impulse to action is called into question. The pros and cons have to be weighed. Quite often the situation does not become clear and there is thus no action. Note that, at present, the resulting default action is either (a) to write about what is going on in my head 3 or (b) to immerse myself in the dharma4 such that a more enlightened point of view might prevail and bring a return to existential ease. [Note in passing that the above description involves a certain amount of exaggeration and reification. Interspersed with the periods of dis-ease there are periods where the muse takes over and there is a going with the flow numinous moments which are non egoic and outwith space and time. But, for the moment, we will hang around with the angst.] So, having outlined the nature of the state, what might be said about how I got into it? The story that I tell myself is that there was disaffection from my sub culture during my childhood and early adolescence and thus a desire to find better ways to be human. From ages 13 to 18 Although note that it was constantly evolving and, even at its most stable, there were several variants of it 2 a mood is a transitory mind set - and note that when one disappears for a while and then comes back it is not exactly the same mood there are multiple causes and conditions and all things are in a state of flux. 3 See these daily diary notes. 4 Either reading books or listening to dharma talks from the internet
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I escaped village life in the summers to work on archaeological digs amongst students and a wide range of people with alternative life styles. Then the university years in the big city (Aberdeen). Then living, working and reflecting in Edinburgh, Jamaica, Zambia, University of Reading/Portsoy, Sudan, University of Sussex/Portsoy, Belize, Portsoy, Lesotho, Portsoy (with visits to Tanzania). I remain unclear about the source of the early disaffection from the subculture. It will doubtless have been rooted in early childhood experiences in the family and in growing up in a traditional village while the world around was changing rapidly (the swinging 60s). I was aware that the eternal verities of village life were parochial variants of a sub cultural theme. There were many inconsistencies and loose ends. Having received my qualifications in higher thought I began my worldly wanders in search of better ways to be human. And I found no blacks and whites. There were many different ways to be human but judging some as better than others proved tricky. Cultural relativism (the grey mist) set in. Two Master degrees and several Portsoy retreats later and I still have not found the answer. Not that this should have been a surprise. My early intellectual training had led me to the following credos: The only certainty is doubt The only constant thing is change So follow the flow But those were cognitive credos. The belief was only intellectual. Deep down I was still searching for consonance, for the answer: although there was always some doubt about it as is shown in the following lines from a song I wrote while in Zambia Youll find plenty question masters Making quagmires of their brain The man said, There is no answer They said, You are insane So how might I get out of this state? My mental state is rooted in cultural relativism (nothing is better than anything else) and post-modernism (the death of the meta-narrative). Getting out of this state would appear to involve (a) embracing the relative absolutes5 coming from neuroscience and evolutionary psychology as these link to ancient eastern mind training traditions6 (b) embracing post-post-modernism with its truly holistic systems theory which has an eye on the insights of quantum theory and especially on the parallels between this and the ancient eastern psychologies of perception 7 (c) emotionally and intuitively embracing the doubt, uncertainty and flow credos mentioned above through making time for stillness and for mindfulness meditation in my daily schedule So maybe it is good that I do not have the distractions of a job. There is a lot on my plate when left to my own devices! And writing about it helps to clarify the situation. The thought is made by talking. But then again too much mental chatter can promote existential dis-ease and get in the way of numinous appreciation. We might therefore heed the exhortation to stillness from Thich Nhat Hahn: Dont just do something Sit there

relative because they are true for only humans, absolute because they are true for all humans (and possibly other life forms with which we have a common ancestry (ie them all?)) 6 eg see the works of Jon Kabat-Zinn on Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) 7 eg see the works of Ken Wilber and his integral system for all quadrants at all levels (AQAL)
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The burned out issue

Until recently I was telling myself the story of how I burned out a few years ago while involved with too many development projects. I lost the ability to consciously direct my will and to remain focussed and on topic. Things got so bad that I had to break contract and this severely damaged my self image as a freelance consultant in the knowledge industry. But there is now another more positive story. This time all that has happened is that I have revalued, and changed my mind. I no longer feel inclined to operate in the way and on the topics that I used to; old habits are broken. But there is still energy for ways of doing things that have different philosophical, psychological and social roots. There has been a shift away from (a) exclusive reliance on the hard, objective, scientific point of view, (b) the ideological big-story of development and (c) the vision of progress towards an environmentally friendly world imbued with social justice. The shift could be labelled as a move towards a form of post-modern pragmatism that recognises new (to me) ways of knowing and finding meaning: at levels ranging from international through to very local, but mainly, at present, at the individual level in the privacy of my own home. Through practicing mindfulness I now appreciate the ancient, eastern psychology of perception. This has induced a deep humility about my own points of view and a simultaneous compassion regarding the points of view of others who remain caught up in big-stories of whatever kind. I feel that I no longer have a handle on what might be for the best: and neither do other experts, or indeed ordinary people. Truth and meaning are embedded social constructs that are in a state of perpetual, dynamic flux. So one-size-fits-all, global models are not a good idea. To stay on track there needs to be cycles of action and reflection to ensure ongoing fit between theory and practice in a given context. So there is still fire in the belly but it has different fuel. I am going through an extended period of largely individual reflection. Burn out is no longer a burning issue.

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My fifth decade
This week saw the replacement, after ten years, of my 13 yr old Renault Megane for a new (to me) 3 year old version complete with electric windows, a CD player, and an onboard computer. The street value of the old car was 200 while the new one is worth 6000. Thirty times better? This week also marks my 10th year since swapping full time work in Lesotho for a freelance life in Portsoy. So has there been a comparable upgrading in my life style and quality of life? The official work in Lesotho involved full-time institution building for advisory workers in Education: and the unofficial work involved running a home recording studio for local bands. Since then the official work has involved short-term information processing projects based on the idea that digested knowledge is power to the people: and the unofficial work has involved investigating the problems of how we can possibly and plausibly know anything, and what that might be. The recent official work has been channelled through Community Economic Development structures in Scotland (mainly PDL, BPL and CCSD) and through Civil Society in Tanzania (mainly Hakikazi Catalyst). The unofficial work has been channelled through various forms of journaling including one-pagers. Tangible outputs have been hard copy booklets and a range of websites. During the decade I have been in touch with friends from times past and have also made new friends and acquaintances. The latter includes people from Portsoy and surrounding district with a sprinkling of others from Findhorn, Inverness and Tanzania. New friends from Lesotho include Toshiko, and Ralph & Maria all of whom have visited Portsoy. Toshiko has been my travelling companion many times in Scotland but also in Ireland, Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia. There was also a walking trip to the White Desert in Egypt with the Boyds. Other trips during the decade include to Eigg, Edinburgh, London and Geneva. But, on the whole, I have not strayed much from the well known streets of Portsoy and indeed not all that often from the house and garden. My abilities as a wordsmith and web designer have developed. Although the latter has tended to fossilize, the former continues to develop in the evolving tradition of plain language writing. But the main existential thrust of the decade has been the drive to change mental gear. Much of this is captured in my let it begin with me website. To engage with more of the same was to remain part of the problem rather than being a contributor to a solution. So there is an ongoing drive to find a more holistic pattern for being in the world. This is rooted in mindfulness meditation. The process has not been without its problems (eg malaise and burn out) but there may now be light at the end of the tunnel. So, if my mind was a motor car, has the decade seen a shift from a 200 model to a 6000 one? Am I thirty times better than I used to be? It is hard to tell. How might such things be judged? Self judgements are dependant on mood. And, despite increasing depth and extent of mindfulness, the moods still swing. Some days I feel like a rusty old wreck while other days I feel spanking new and straight out of the box. Existential truth emerges from context and contexts are constantly changing. But we can be more or less mindful of what is going on. Be still and know.

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Self-less freelancing
These days I earn a modest living as a freelance technical writer. Paid work turns up now and then. From an egoic point of view, there are good things and bad things about this. There are three good things: (a) an income stream and a touch of reputation to add to the c/v, (b) an added sense of purpose to life when I am using my vocation; and, more significantly for this little story, (c) a reason for many hours of non-egoic, one-pointed concentration (I am lost in work). There are two bad things about paid work: (a) I tend to obsess about it; it takes over my life and drives everything else to the margins of consciousness (I am too busy) (b) when I re emerge from one-pointed concentration there is often a burst of low self esteem and the feeling that I am an incompetent chancer (I get the blues) But neither of the bad things is inevitable. They are mind made and thus treatable. The obsession can be dealt with using time management techniques 8: and these will be most likely to succeed when linked to activities that distract the mind from egoic thought. At the mundane level I engage mindfully in domestic work in the house or garden or I seek mindless distraction by the media (radio, TV, novels etc (I gave up newspapers a long time ago)). Our consumer society offers a vast range of banal options; mine are limited because I live alone and work from home! But there are more exotic options. Sometimes I immerse myself in the wisdom literature or in listening to dharma talks on the internet: this takes me out of myself and prevents stewing in self made juices. It offers a half way house between intellect and intuition. And then there is the trump card, the option for stillness, for mindfulness meditation, for just sitting. More often than not this leads to a peaceful and non-egoic state of mind of which it is said, No self, no problem. Note that the same can be said of the mind states where I am lost in paid work or in washing the dishes. So there we have the glorious life style option of self-less freelancing.

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Basics and Extras

I got frazzled while shopping in Tescos. I felt the need for a session of just sitting. This raised the question of Why not sit still most of the time? The answer that emerged is set out in the following box where three life styles are set on a continuum of worldly involvement. Life Style 1 2 3 Consumer the middle way Meditator Basic things Extra things lots some none Just sitting none some lots

1. Consumer: Life = basic things + lots of extra things The basic things would include arranging for food, clothing and shelter and stepping out of the way of rampaging elephants and ten ton trucks. This would have been straightforward in the hunting and gathering days but would have got more complicated once agriculture was invented and then modern civilisation with its advertising. It is easy to make fun of the knick knacks that make up the extra things in our status anxious modern life styles. Think of the grades of rich and poor and how they tend to read different newspapers and shop in different supermarkets. In a given supermarket, think of the range of prices for similar items packaged differently (Who would not be seen dead with value brand products in their baskets in Tesco?). Think more generally of peoples pattern of consumption and of how when they earn more they spend more and thus never have enough. 3. Meditator: Life = basic things +lots of just sitting Most mature cultures have their hermits and recluses. These are the saints who chose to be frugal and prudent and thus to get by with the basic things. They thus have time for just sitting, for being still, for noticing what they notice, for thinking about thinking. They have time to stand and stare. And what good does this do? They get in touch with what Huxley called the perennial philosophy. They become inspired by the interpenetrating oneness of reality and thus come to know the peace that passes all understanding. The spiritual insights of the best of them form the bases of the worlds main religions. Note in passing that those of the saintly persuasion are often gathered together in monasteries where their lives are systematically pared back to the basic things + just sitting. This can be a severe approach and is often caught up in the inadequacies that characterise most mature and institutionalised state religions. But not always! 2. The middle way: Life = basic things + some extra things + some just sitting And then there is the middle way. The everyday Zen of the householder. The idea is that total absorption in consumer capitalism is an existential cop out and leads to suffering. The goal is to go beyond robotic patterns of craving and aversion, to be unattached to the impermanent things of this world, and thus to find peace. The good news is that our essential nature is peaceful like a mirror. The problem is that civilisation with its never ending stream of extra things is like dust on the mirror. So how might we remove the dust? By making time for just sitting, for being mindful, for meditating. Ultimately it is a matter of balance. Set aside some time each day (5, 15, 45 minutes?) for quiet reflection. Notice what is going on in your head. Many of the extras will thus become less attractive and easy to renounce. You will thus be on the road to peace of mind and thus to deep happiness and contentment. Why not memorise the following saying and call it to mind when you are getting frazzled: Dont just do something, Sit there!

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PART TWO HERMIT

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Thoughts are made by talking

You can think either on your own or in company. These have their relative merits. When on your own you have peace to sort out your thoughts but, even when using creativity enhancing techniques9, you are bound to have limited viewpoints. But thinking on your own can be useful as a preparation for thinking in company. All thoughts have associated feelings which may be of attraction, aversion or neutrality. In what follows it should be understood that when we say thoughts we mean thoughts/feelings.

Groups engaged in thinking can be either like-minded or oppositional. Like-minded groups are likely to get stuck in group think10 and limited viewpoints but these will not be as limited as solitary viewpoints - so there is room for individual growth and development.

Oppositional group thinking styles can be either debate (win/lose) or discussion (win/win). Both can lead to sophisticated viewpoints but by different routes. Debates tend to exaggerate differences and make them extremely black and white and therefore schismatic. Genteel discussions may generate compromises and fudged solutions which may be subtle but suboptimal. The merits of the options depend on the purpose and urgency of the thinking task. In an emergency it may be best to go along with the individual thinking of a respected leader. This cuts out the time needed for the more social options 11. Meetings of like-minded souls can bring an easy affirmation to individuals who previously have gone it alone12. In these cases there will be a strong feeling component 13. Debates tend to generate more heat (feelings) than light (thoughts). This may be an inherent feature of our being thinking/ feeling apes. It is certainly a well established format in the political and academic spheres14. Discussions also embrace feelings but in a compassionate and detached manner 15; they lack the melodrama of debates but are more likely to lead to popular and implementable solutions16. Note that there is a role for the solitary thinker/scribe in recording what the groups debate or discuss. This is ideally a value free and technical exercise but in this age of spin doctors there is room for individual initiative and creativity 17. This reflects the self evident fact that human communication is a social activity and that thoughts are made by talking.

See http://www.toonloon.bizland.com/tot/toolbox.htm See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Group_think 11 Note that the hermit option has been around as long as society but has never become hugely popular. 12 The norm crackers and paradigm shifters 13 Eg when the hermit joins the monastery 14 the legendary ya boo culture of the elite private schools which gives the UK its politicians 15 see thoughts from Minu Hemmati (xxx) about Multi-stakeholder processes 16 As when native American groups sat under a tree and passed around the talking stick 17 see thoughts from Guba and Lincoln (xxx) about the dialectical hermeneutic
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What to do?
The title of this piece could also have been How to be? or even What to have?. Ultimately it is about purpose and therefore about intention. The ennuie of the teenagers Whatever! echoes through the minds of many maturagers. Egos have needs and wants but how come? What are the causes and conditions that created you? Do you have to be stuck with them? How might such things be decided? To what extent are we puppets on sub-cultural strings of steel and to what extent do we have genuine free will? These questions are contextualised by this mornings hungover me. I noted my blue mood and made a list of mental, physical and social options for exchanging it for something upbeat. (This was an example of a brainstorm becoming a one-pager! (see below)) Mental immersion Positively engaging the brain is to me (I am an introvert) the first option. The following list notes various topics and modes that can be targeted. Note that mindfulness meditation is radically different from the other options in that it epitomises the ancient recommendation to be (mentally and physically) still and know. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Dharma (Buddhist wisdom) from text, audio or video (catch the mood) Philosophy/ Science - from text, audio or video (make one-pagers) Work voluntary or paid A Brande18 flow (with editing) A brainstorm (with or without conversion to a one-pager) Recreational novels, radio, TV, cruising, doodling, daydreaming Mindfulness meditation

Physical (embodied immersion) Another powerful mind changing option is to focus on what the body is doing in the immediate here and now. Some functional and recreational options are listed below. The underling concept is to be mindful during everyday tasks and to engage one-pointed concentration. 1. Functional housework (Numbers 9 (home) and 11 (rented out)), gardening, making jam, DIY, KSA19 development (eg computer skills) 2. Recreational yoga, the gym (or just exercises), go for a walk (with camera/binoculars), make music, cooking Social (beyond the hermit) I am presently in a hermit phase. This has its advantages but means that I tend to stew in my self centred juices. Interaction with other people is useful for gaining alternative perspectives and viewpoints. It is also a way of realising that many people are in a worse existential condition that me and this helps to develop compassion. This is especially true when listening is informed by lessons learned from being mindful of my own thoughts, feelings and embodiment 1. Phone people or write emails (lite or heavy) 2. Visit people (eg old people) mini breaks 3. Work on common projects (paid or voluntary) People with different temperaments and life histories will have different lists and some will not like the idea of making them! Arguably, however, it is useful to keep such a list in a prominent place as a reminder that you are always free to change what is going on in your mind. What you do follows directly on what you have thought and felt. Remember this it is the key to liberation from past causes and conditions.

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How to start your day

Most individual self improvement programmes recommend a schedule of early to bed and early to rise. The details of this will, however, depend on how your life is organised. Living with a spouse and kids is different from living alone; and both of these are different from institutional settings such as boarding school, military barracks or spiritual cloisters20. Ideally you should get up just before dawn as this is a time of new beginnings and therefore conducive to self improvement. Be flexible. There are many self improvement options but here we look briefly at three which deal in turn with improving the body, mind and spirit.

The body
A programmed session of physical exercises (aerobics/ callisthenics) are a good way to wake up the body and to move it towards increased fitness, strength and stamina. This need not involve a lot of equipment and fashion accessories. The main thing is to be regular and not to take short cuts21. Those who would be healthy in mind need a healthy body. For those who prefer something more gentle there is the Yoga option with an interplay between body and mind aimed at stretching, suppleness and balance 22.

The mind
For those who feel the need to develop their creative writing muscle there is the option of producing 'morning pages'. This involves allowing a flow of consciousness to become written notes for 20 minutes first thing in the morning. Get going before the censor wakens. Just keep writing quality does not matter. This process deepens with practice and amazing insights appear23.

The spirit
The spirit is best refreshed through stillness. Sit up straight in a dignified way and let go of all thoughts that stray into the past and the future. Do this for 5 to 20 minutes at a time. It is useful to rest attention lightly on the breathing as a focal point which is neutral and ever present. When attention moves away, as it will, then gently pull it back 24. A delightful calmness results and this is a solid foundation for your new day. You may find it impractical to engage in all three activities every day. But you could establish a schedule with alternate activities on alternate days. You might then find it useful in the evening to keep a journal to record the effects of starting your day with the different activities. Why should you bother with any of the activities? Because otherwise you will most likely become physically, intellectually and spiritually wasted!

in institutional settings you might have to use flat-backed options ie do your own thing in your own way between waking and rising. 21 There are many useful websites giving free instruction. Over the years I have found this book to be really useful and inspiring Laurence E Morehouse & Leonard Cross ( 1975) Total Fitness in 30 minutes a week; Guild Publishing, London. Copies are available second hand from Amazon. 22 Jon Kabat-Zinn is a good source of a basic schedule get his Mindfulness Meditation Practice CDs (Series 1) from www.mindfulnesstapes.com 23 The basic scheme comes from Dorothea Brande (1934) Becoming a Writer; ISBN 0333653777 and it is revitalised in Julia Cameron (1998) The Right to Write; ISBN 0333782038 24 There are many useful websites. Those who prefer to avoid 'eastern exotica' might like to investigate the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn on Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR).
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Rhinoceros turning
Plato reckoned that When two upon a journey go one sees before the other. But much depends on the nature of the other. There are Buddhist sutras that reckon that it is sometimes best to Fare lonely as the rhinoceros. (see box). So what are the relative merits of company for those who seek to transcend from the life of worldly busy-ness to that of spiritual peace? If one find friend with whom to fare Rapt in the well-abiding, apt, Surmounting dangers one and all, With joy fare with him mindfully. Finding none apt with whom to fare, None in the well-abiding rapt, As rajah quits the conquered realm, Fare lonely as rhinoceros. Khaggavisana sutta

Types of company
Most normal people are ill-abiding as licentious and hedonistic consumers. Many are close to pathological in their obsessiveness and addiction to fashionable distractions and stuff. They have no time to stand and stare. They are on the go in all their waking hours. No respite. Workaholics with long to-do-lists. Busy-bodies. Not apt companions. However, those who are rapt in well-abiding are not a problem other than that they are hard to find. They put aside quiet time on a regular basis. Their need for distraction and stuff is slight. These spiritually minded souls can be one-on-one colleagues or teachers. They can also be approached in more or less formal communities. In many parts of the world there are lay groups of aspirants which function without accredited teachers. There are also increasing numbers of established contemplative centres which cater to those who commit to a more or less monastic life in retreat for various periods of time.

Types of aloneness
We live in increasingly individuated times. Extended families have given way to nuclear families and those to single parent families. More people now live alone than has ever been the case before. But we are by nature social animals. So there may be a pathological side to aloneness which is best dealt with in therapy. Arguably it is modern society itself which needs therapy. Is it desirable to be well adjusted to an insane world? However, most cultures have reserved special spaces for their spiritual loners; for their hermits and recluses, their anchorites and ascetics. There are many long traditions in most parts of the world which allow for and encourage shamans and mystics to explore the arenas of uncommon sense. There is a long standing perennial philosophy which celebrates aloneness as a necessary foundation for achieving extraordinary insight. Going it alone is OK.

The relative merits

The task is to transcend from the life of worldly busy-ness to that of spiritual peace. This involves turning the mind around. This is generally thought to involve two main things (a) living a moral life (eg obeying the ten commandments for Christians, fol lowing the noble eightfold-path for Buddhists): this makes it possible to find the peace for (b) reprogramming how the mind works: in essence seeing the illusory nature of the self and the world it presents to us. A more or less formal community of like minded souls, if well led and managed, would be of great help to most individuals. Failing that a like minded friend would be a great boon. Failing that you had best fare lonely as the rhinoceros and draw sustenance from (a) the inspiring examples of great souls of the past, (b) the literature of the great mystical traditions and, most importantly, (c) the still small inner voice which can be heard once the busy, worldly mind has come to rest and there is abiding in passionless peace. Free everywhere, at odds with none, And well content with this and that: Enduring dangers undismayed, Fare lonely as the rhinoceros.

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A continuum of withdrawal
I am one of those who feels that the modern world is insanely off course but yet I am in many ways conditioned to accept its truths. But the conditioning is not 100%. By withdrawing from the world I can find the space to undo the conditioning and have the mind rebuilt in a more wholesome way. (Or remove the dust from the mirror?) I feel the need to retreat such that (a) I can reframe my way of being in the world and (b) I might eventually return with a mind that can be part of a solution rather than being an ongoing part of the problem. Note that the reframing would have both objective secular dimensions and subjective spiritual (existential) ones. The following three tables give a brief outline of what I might be withdrawing from and for in terms of civilisation in general and in terms of the institution and social action in particular.

Withdrawal - civilisation
FROM Retreat from mindless consumerism and commodification; from the endless stream of ever changing, must-have fads and fashions. Back to basics I have enough Categories of commodification: Social, technological, environmental, economic, political, legal, spiritual [STEEPLeS] FOR (a) Secular Freedom Find the mental space to avoid being got at by advertising and the media machine. Communes/ collectives/ mutual societies; self help. Social entrepreneurs out of the box thinking local/global interactions (b) Spiritual Peace Renunciation with monastic and solitary options (hermit, recluse). Above and beyond ritual religion. Uncovering innate goodness. Aiming for Engaged Buddhism? (Thich Nhat Hahn). Zarathustra up the mountain for a while. (Neitzche)

Withdrawal - the institution

FROM The institution of alienated work; being slave to a boss; being a number in an economists equation; having no positive input (Theory x leadership and management) FOR Authenticity and good faith (Theory Y leadership and management) Freelancing small is beautiful teamwork Embrace the post-modern portfolio lifestyle

Withdrawal - social action

FROM the knee jerk robotic responses to good v bad; them v us; going on peace marches which make no difference; pseudo (token) democracy; the loyal opposition; simple categories eg left/right; either/or FOR a more radical form of holistic social action which digs beneath the elegant power of the status quo (truth and reconciliation) (conflict resolution) (integral vision- all quadrants, all levels - AQAL). Let it begin with me. Speak truth to power.

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The urge to write

Most days I write at least 400 words. On the shelf above me is almost 2 metres of A4 folders of notes from 1965 through to 2000 when I went environmentally friendly and stopped printing them out. No fiction or poetry or travelogues or journalistic essays. It is nearly all about facts and ideas with an early predisposition towards intellectual cleverness and a later one to intuitive wisdom: with some recent merging as post-modern modes of thought link to traditional and mystical ones. Subject matter ranges across 12 major disciplines in my personal quest for understanding and for better ways to be human. There are as yet no solid conclusions but the journey has spawned the occasional output that others might find helpful in their own questing. My vocation seems to be to facilitate learning both of myself and others. The urge to write might be an offshoot of the human urge to speak which involves communicating and being social. As it is I now live alone and work from home so I am something of a hermit. While this can lead to stewing unnecessarily in my own juices it has the advantage of not having to stew too much in the juices of other people. The jury is still out on whether I am pulled by the vision of mystical peace or pushed by the demons of burn out and world weariness. But either way there is ample solitude in which to practice mindfulness and renunciation. I write both professionally and for pleasure. Professional work is both paid and voluntary. These days the paid writing is mainly to do with plain language mostly rewrites of government policy documents but also some original stuff aimed at popularising key development concepts. Voluntary writing is wider in scope and includes basic copy writing for the local Boat Festival and Salmon Bothy and more original pieces related generally to social development and channelled through the CCSD, Hakikazi Catalyst and earlier for the BPL. But the bulk of the writing is done for pleasure. This includes handwritten prose, lists, mindmaps and doodles: although there are not so many of those these days because my handwriting is getting very poor. So most input is through the keyboard where there is a mix of structured and spontaneous writing. Most of the structured writing takes the form of one-pagers although there is the occasional essay and dialogue. These are often based on handwritten drafts. Some are reports of what other authors have said that is clever or wise, but increasingly they are home grown. Most of these end up on my various web sites and blogs. But spontaneous writing makes up the bulk of what I produce these days. There are the 20 minute flows of consciousness which follow the instructions of Dorothea Brande and there are the less rushed daily diaries. I open one of these first thing every morning and add to it throughout the day with time stamps along the way. These are mainly prose although there are some lists, continua, matrixes and the occasional illustration. They are a mix of the banal and the brilliant. Some of the brilliant bits are extracted and built into one-pagers or essays. It is said that if you want to be a writer then you must write. I took a couple of correspondence courses on writing a few years back they were on creative writing and on journalism so they did not truly suit my needs but they offered a lot of good ideas. I have also (a) acquired a fair collection of how to write books which have been useful and (b) set up a blog where I put links to useful places on the internet. In November of 2007 I systematically estimated how many spontaneous words I had produced. It comes to slightly over 7 million 25. That indicates a fairly strong (possibly abnormal) urge to write.

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Living alone
Living alone has been the theme of several recent conversations. I now live alone, work from home, and make time each day for mindfulness. Other people have different patterns. So, to what extent is living alone a good thing? This one-pager maps out four main viewpoints.

Living alone
normal 1. anti-social abnormal 3. weird loners 4. mindful creativity

Bad
2. individual freedom

Good
Living alone is increasingly common in our modern individualistic cultures. Once there were extended families living in tight knit communities. Then there were socially-mobile, nuclear families living in boxes on estates. Now there are many single parent families and increasing numbers of people living alone. (1) There is the notion that we are social animals. We become human only through interaction with other humans. Living alone cuts us off from being truly human. We can arrange contact via the media and computer based social networking: but this does not give the full blooded stimulation that we need. (2) On the other hand, living with others calls for compromise and diplomacy to negotiate pathways through the different desires of individuals. There is less personal freedom of choice. By living alone we find the mental space to go beyond the parochial confines of our immediate social circumstances. We are thus able to consider what to be free from and what to be free for. But throughout human history there have always been individuals who embraced living alone. These were the hermits and renunciants living in solitary retreat and figuring out the science and art of being truly human. At their best these pioneers had insights that contributed to major political, economic and religious systems. (3) There is the notion that these Spartan recluses produce only a hotch potch of mystical mumbo jumbo and magic. The meditators would be better for the planet if they got a real job and contributed meaningfully to society and the economy. (4) On the other hand, there are those who reckon that our present way of dealing with the planet (resource depletion, pollution, sweat shops etc) is seriously undesirable but structurally inbuilt. We therefore need a change of values, a paradigm shift in humanitys self consciousness and its place in the web of things. Those who embrace living alone and a regime of mindfulness are well suited to finding better ways to be human. So, to what extent is living alone a good thing? Different people will have different viewpoints. We need different strokes for different personality types and at different times! I personally have come to value and enjoy living alone most of the time. There is some guilt for not being more engaged with finding solutions to the human roots of community and planetary problems. But business as usual is not getting us anywhere. If I am to stop being part of the problem there is need of a radical mental turn around. This requires lashings of stillness such that the media fed chatter fades away and the workaholic mud settles. The occasional company of like-minded souls helps. Some days are better than others! Do not lose yourself in dispersion and in your surroundings. Learn to practice breathing in order to regain composure of body and mind, to practice mindfulness, and to develop concentration and understanding. (Thich Nhat Hahn)

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A source of stories
I often notice the ongoing mental churn in my mind. It involves nature, nurture and serendipity giving rise to thoughts, feelings, words and actions. In the Pali sutras of Buddhism the process is clearly identified. It is labelled as Papancha and is normally translated as mental proliferation. These days there is an urge to write stories about what goes on in my mind. But there is also an urge to be choosy. I aim to speak of those things that affect many people and not just me. When I deal with personal topics it is because they have general relevance. I avoid topics that are atypical and idiosyncratic. But the choosiness is not an exact science. My I is culturally conditioned and initially linked to a particular time and space. It is also well travelled, over 60 years in the making, and tending to the reclusive and introvert. There is therefore the choice of viewing myself as unique or as being representative of a particular category of being. For example, in the Kiersey Temperament Sorter, I am an INFP; and I feel well at ease with comments from members of the Yahoo Group dedicated exclusively to INFPs. I am also a long time member of a Buddhist meditation group. Our weekly practice includes a session of mindful listening and speaking from the heart. We use a talking stick. Whoever holds the stick speaks and the others listen. We are a mixed group in terms of lifestyle and temperament but even so, through sharing, we learn that we are not alone having unique experiences. We also learn that in many cases, behind the brave faces, there is a pent up load of existential angst and anomie. It is better for this to be out than in! I live alone and am retired. I have no wife or children. I spend a lot of time reading, writing and meditating. It is easy to be still and quiet. As a reality check I am also involved with various community groups in the fishing village in the NE of Scotland where I grew up and to which I have now returned. I mention these biographical details because they influence what goes on in my mind and thus the content of this story. My studies are mainly about the Dharma the truth and teachings of the Buddha. But these days I seek to integrate the old teaching with the new sciences of evolutionary biology, evolutionary psychology, and of neuroscience. And there is another twist. I now seek not only objective and academic understanding but also subjective and heart-felt experience. The latter offers writing challenges given that, as Lao Tzu noted, the reality which can be described is not the real reality and that those who know do not speak. For most of my working life I could concentrate and remain focussed for several hours at a time. I operated in flow and kept very busy. This was useful and productive at the worldly level but it meant that I rarely had time to stand and stare. During the slack times mental proliferation ran riot and I escaped the linked dis-ease through the distractions of wine, women and song. The notion of the illusory self ran wild and self indulgent. In the more senior years the last 20 or so there has been more regular sitting. This is at times infested with mental proliferation and at other times by sloth and torpor. But increasingly the sitting slips into the mode of no-self and outwith space and time. This is very peaceful and seems correct and as it should be. There is an awareness of the Oneness which is everything. But, as noted above, words cannot do it justice. There has also been an increase in everyday Zen and in 24/7 mindfulness. There is awareness of what is going on in the mind and thus a release from habits and from unthinking reactions. Shopping and cooking, washing the dishes, answering the phone, and squeezing out healthy defecations are suffused with a spiritual glow. There has been a paradigm shift in perception. The world is more numinous. Several years ago I took a course in creative writing. I did not make as much use of it as I might have. Why invent stories when I can report on the never ending outpouring of papancha? Why indeed?

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I now see that there was a problem figuring what to do with the inchoate churn that was generated as the mind ticked over and invented hazy and ephemeral patterns energised by hypothetical intentional agents. There was a never ending torrent of linguistic and emotional diarrhoea passing through the attention centre in insubstantial and short lived thought trains. The mind had a mind of its own. And its purpose seemed to be to scan the environment for potential rewards or punishments and to prepare the mind and body for appropriate action. I have stumbled upon two ways of writing about this. They include elements of journaling and of blogging. Both are founded on the notion that Papancha flows from the unconscious and some of it reaches consciousness. There is a pre-planned method and an emergent method.

Pre-planned
The conscious bits of Papancha are noticed, labelled and mind mapped. This results in a structured skeleton upon which to hang the details of a story. The pre-planned principle is think first and then write. Rationality and consciousness are in charge or at least they think they are.

Emergent
The emergent principle is to just write. Intuition and the unconscious are fundamental sources of ideas but it is not quite right to say they are in charge. The idea is to be in the mood and to leave it to the muse. Ideally perfectly edited, original text would be generated by the unconscious. But, in my experience, there are usually several rough edges that need sorting by rational consciousness. This story emerged. It began yesterday and is now finishing. On rereading I see that it is in essence about the unspeakable dharma and about the psychology of perception. Words, sentences, paragraphs and pages are created and made available on the internet where they might prove useful to other dharma seekers. Mental proliferation (Papancha) will not go away in a hurry. It is a source of much suffering but it need not be. It can be harnessed for generating many dharma stories. By taking thought we can know it for what it is and thus neutralise its unwholesome effects.

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Ranting quick and slow

Everyone has bursts of mental proliferation (Papancha). Various metaphors are used to describe it. Monkey mind and cascade (waterfall) are two common ones. There is even the image of a demented monkey on amphetamines and with fleas. The proliferations consist of thoughts with associated feelings, moods and emotions. Most of them emerge from the unconscious and they are beyond conscious control. It is as if the mind has a mind of its own and is prone to constructing stories based on more or less random causes and effects. Many creative writers speak of a flow or stream of consciousness although it might be better to think of it as a flow or stream of unconsciousness. The mental stuff arises out of nowhere and it can be spoken about and written down. We can extend the image of a flowing stream. Sometimes it is a watercourse or river in spate. It is a rushing, gushing, surging, flooding torrent. At other times it is a stagnant rivulet barely managing to ooze a trickle of dribbles. The extremes are readily noticed by meditators. In terms of the five hindrances to mindfulness the gushing torrent links to restlessness and anxiety and the stagnant rivulet to sloth and torpor. The extremes are also noticed by most creative writers. At times they experience flow where their muses are an indefatigable source of ideas and at other times experience writers block due to their inspiration having dried up. I have no urge to write novels but I have kept a journal for many years and more recently have published one-pagers on an assortment of self managed web sites and blogs. Productivity has varied enormously through time. Hard copies of my journal entries between 1965 and 1998 (33 years) take up 1.7m of shelf space. The rate of production nose dived when I was a workaholic contractor and soared while engaged in several long retreats between jobs. I stopped printing hard copies in 1998 and retired permanently from paid, worldly work in about 2010. Since late 2002 my Existential Soft Rock blog http://dodclark.blogspot.co.uk/ , has received 504 posts and 27377 page views. This works out at about 50 posts per year (one per week) on average, with a range from 32 to 75 per year. These last few years have been fairly quiet in terms of one-pagers but this is changing. The more recent products are longer, and I think of them as midway rants - somewhere between gushing torrents and docile rivulets. And I am now more comfortable with letting the vital churn that is the unconscious do its thing. No gods, demons or magic muses just a steady reworking of stardust spinning consciousness of unconsciousness at the edge of the milky way.

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PART THREE RENUNCIATION

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Transcendental Intentionality
What it is and why you might want some.
Intentionality is about motivation and purpose. It can be at a mundane and constraining level or at a transcendent and liberating level. When at the latter level the individual soul can fly and the world can be a better place.

Intentionality
Intentionality is about why an organism or a person behaves this way rather than that and there are two ways of investigating it (a) from the outside looking in and (b) from the inside looking out. We will look at these in turn. What shifts thee aimless spirit What panic drives thee so In reaching ten perspectives Why not accept the flow?

Being on the outside looking in is the role of science with men in white coats wielding thermometers. They observe stimuli impinging on people and the responses that are made There is an assumption of an internal, intentional mechanism - but it is unknowable from other than a subjective point of view. The classic behaviourist school within psychology studied those bits of the system that could be studied with certainty and steered away from the contents of the black box. Being on the inside looking out we are dealing with very personal points of view. It can be argued that it in only with human beings that there is the possibility of being conscious of consciousness. Only we can know our intentions, but only if we think seriously. Plant intentions When you think about it from a behaviourist point of view you could assume intentions in a plant. If you put a seed in the ground the seed knows to send its roots down and its stem and leaves up there is geotropism. So plants are not totally unreactive, not totally immune to what is happening in their environment - but we wouldnt say that they really know what they are doing. Animal intentions The various simple and more complex animals have more sophisticated ways of dealing with the outside world. Take the case of nest building birds. Eggs are taken from the parents and the chicks reared in a laboratory. That generation breeds without building nests and the eggs are taken away and the chicks reared in the lab. They are then given nest building material and they know exactly what to do. The knowledge is built into their genes. It is a hard wired skill. It is what we call instinct. It is now common to suppose that behaviour in fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds and most of the lower mammals is driven by blind instinct. They are hard wired to behave in particular ways. But there is plasticity in the system so they can take inputs from the external environment and do something about them. But they are not conscious of what is happening. They are robots. Human intentions The wonderful thing about being human is that we have the potential to be conscious of our consciousness. We can be aware of the stimulus arriving and, before the response is made, we have the option of choosing how to respond. But not always and not perhaps as often as we might. We are often driven crazy by particular types of stimuli the smell of fish and chips, the sight of the busty female in the wrapping paper etc In being conscious of our consciousness we are noticing what we are noticing and thinking about what we are thinking and feeling. This may happen to a limited extent in most people at the present stage of human evolution. But the potential for doing more of it is ever present and that is where the desirability of transcendence comes in.

Transcendence
Intentionality is evolving. As we saw above, there are two major ways of looking at it objectively as science does and subjectively as ordinary people, artists and meditators do. The

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present evolution is driven by the east going west with meditation and renunciation and by the west going east with its civilised brand of rationality and consumerism. All Quadrants, All Levels Ken Wilbers All quadrants, all levels (AQAL) model helps to systematically map the options in considerable breadth and depth. He divides human ways of knowing into four groups by forming a matrix where objective/ subjective is crossed with individual/ collective. The objective individual way of knowing is classic hard science where the view is from the outside. The objective collective way of knowing features the social sciences (psychology, sociology, anthropology, economics and political science) which again involves neutral observers looking from the outside. The subjective collective way of knowing is the social, cultural way and includes those feelings and emotions that dictate the communal oughts and shoulds. The subjective individual way of knowing is what drives artists, meditators and most aspects of the mind set of ordinary people. This is the ordinary you feeling what you feel (for whatever reason) from the inside. But each of these quadrants can be at all levels. Wilber labels these as soul, spirit, mind and body but I find it useful to think of them in terms of the cosmic zoom (see box) with expanding and contracting horizons. The cosmos began with the big bang and is to all intents and purposes infinite and eternal. But it is a totality of the great churn and flux that makes evolution possible. Universes, solar systems and planets come and go with wondrous regularity. Our solar system with our planet has been around for so many billions of years and will be gone again before too long in the cosmic time scale. The planet began as an inanimate mass but self replicating molecules came into being and evolved as cells and then multicellular organisms and then as humanity. We spend most of our evolutionary time as hunter gatherers with no language. Then we learned to speak and deceive, and civilisation with division of labour was soon to follow. So cosmic evolution gave us the planet, biological evolution gave us life, and cultural evolution gave us inequality and the internet. Fundamental to cultures and civilisations are the tribes, communities and families which between them programme individuals to survive long enough to contribute to the next generation. Cosmic Zoom Cosmos Universe Solar system Planet Life Humanity Culture Tribe Community Family INDIVIDUAL Organ Cell Molecule Atom Subatomic thing Quantum entity

We can look at the INDIVIDUAL as a turning point in the cosmic zoom. Individuals are small parts of bigger structures and at the same time composites made of smaller structures. Note that despite this being self evident there is still the amazing egotistic feeling of being the centre of the universe!

Imagine a camera pointing to you as an individual then zooming out to show your family, then your community and tribe; as it zooms out further we see the whole culture of humanity which is obviously an integral part of the life which hugs the surface of the planet. And as the camera zooms out to the far reaches of the cosmos the fact that we are not the centre of the universe becomes abundantly clear. We inhabit the surface of the third rock from a very minor sun on the edge of a very small galaxy. It is an immensely humbling experience so let us zoom back in again Zoooooooom. Having zoomed to the bigness let us now zoom to the smallness. Inside the INDIVIDUAL are organs and tissues made of cells. These can be seen as having their own intentionalities the intestines want food, the gonads want sex and so on. The eyes want to see but are limited to visible light, the ears want to hear but are limited to audible sounds. The soul wants company and status because we are social animals. These organs and tissues pick up various external stimuli, codify them and send them down nerve cells to particular parts of the brain where they are interpreted and made manifest as thoughts and feelings which create our world view and govern our actions.

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When we zoom beneath the level of cells we come to molecules and notably genes made of deoxyribosenucliec acid (DNA). Arguably human beings are just cute ways for DNA molecules to make copies of themselves. The DNA is made of atoms which are made of sub atomic particles which, as quantum entities, are simultaneously waves and particles. Quantum physicists reckon that the stuff of the universe is more like consciousness than like anything as tangible as particles. But this is the post-Newtonian world where new rules apply and where language has difficulty coping so we will leave it for the moment. Let us zoom back to the INDIVIDUAL level and to you and me as commonly understood by ourselves. Becoming unstuck Are you happy to be stuck with a simple plant-like or bird-like instinctual way of having intentions and behaving or are you going to transcend and, if so, are you going to do so in an integrated way ie in all four quadrants and at all levels? You have the options of transcending intellectually like a scientist with a white coat and a thermometer (the academic route) and/or in a more spiritual way like a meditator with loose clothing and a cushion (the route of mindfulness). At the individual subjective level there is much excitement about where thought is going at the beginning of the 21st century. A marriage is taking place. West goes east with materialist science but without deep interiority and east goes west with its ancient psychology of perception and holistic grasp of the nature of reality. Taoist, Hindu and Buddhist meditation has been practised for 2,500 years. It involves being still. Sitting quietly doing nothing. You pay attention to what goes on inside your head. You can then be objective about your subjective experience. This enables a transcendence beyond the petty world of egoic consciousness in the here and now. The mind become non egoic there is a reunion with the Oneness which is everything and a knowing beyond space and time. The human mind returns to the cosmic mind. You are no longer exclusively tied up in your family and your culture at a particular place in this particular time in history. You are no longer exclusively locked in small, parochial, constrained space/time. Using techniques that come partly from western psychotherapeutic traditions and partly from eastern meditative traditions, you can transcend your low level intentionalities. You change everything and become an infinite being simultaneously at the centre and all peripheries of the cosmos. And a curiously wonderful thing happens. When people get their heads into this space, into this cosmic consciousness, then life is not nasty, brutish and short. Human nature is experienced, and known to be, peaceful and compassionate. So there is enormous potential for transcendental intentionality to broaden and deepen your world view. Light can be thrown on whatever issues or topics face you, your society or the planet. We all have a brain which has been programmed in a particular way. It can be reprogrammed to be less parochial and selfish and more holistic and compassionate. The potentials are limitless. Transcendent intentionality - why might you not want some? Youll find plenty question masters Making quagmires of their brain. The man said, There is no answer. They said, you are insane.

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Mind Watching
It can be therapeutic to agree to leave your troubles on the doorstop for a while. You can then just sit and let your mental mud settle26. The mental chatter will slow down and the mind will become still. There will be no awareness of time and space nor of an ego that is separate from the world. There will be a peaceful easy feeling without grasping or craving. There will be a state of pure being and of renunciation. There will no longer be any personal clinging or aversion where I want this or I dont want that. When you first begin to sit you become aware of how busy your mind is and of how you are not in control of the topics and feelings27. You are driven mainly by unconscious forces whose causes and conditions are many and complex 28. Some are instinctual, some develop from early cultural experiences and some are due to personal experiences in your family and community including influences from school, work and the media. The question, Who am I? takes on new and often scary dimensions. You come to see clearly that your unthinking, gut reactions to events are due to habits that have been formed over a lifetime. So long as you remain unaware of what is going on you will remain a prisoner of your conditioned habits. Freedom involves waking up to what is going on and therefore being able to consciously respond to events rather than unconsciously reacting to them. This insight has been around for at least 2500 years but mainly amongst the mystical wings of the major world religions. Arguably the time for its widespread distribution has arrived29. The mind shift is, of course, much easier said than done but it is virtually inevitable if you give the practice of stillness30 enough time and attentive effort31. The secret lies in setting aside time for mind watching32. It is said that the unexamined life is not worth living 33 and that you should, be still and know.34

If you find that your mind keeps churning you can focus your attention on the breath watch it coming in and going out. When you notice that the mind is caught up in another thought train then just bring it back to the breathing. 27 You will notice the effects the thoughts and feelings have on your body eg burning in your chest, butterflies in your tummy, tightness in your neck and shoulder muscles, cold sweats, hot flushes and so on. Notice and let them go. 28 Some psychologically sensitive people might be best to indulge themselves in this practice only under the supervision of a sympathetic therapist. You will know if it is good for you by the effect that it has. If it brings restlessness rather than joy you had best get professional help. 29 The inherent potential of the practice has been stripped of its religious and cultural baggage and is now well recognised in various branches of psychology, neurology and philosophy 30 For an accessible intro see Eckhart Tolles Stillness Speaks 31 It helps to have a good teacher (therapist/guru) and the company of like minded souls but it is possible to get there on your own. 32 There is ongoing erudite debate about the extent to which psychotherapy and meditation can complement each other. (eg see Mark Epsteins Thoughts without a Thinker.) 33 Socrates, in Plato, Dialogues, Apology - Greek philosopher (469 BC - 399 BC) 34 Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
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On being normal
Normality is a political idea. It makes it possible to label people as sub-normal (bad), normal (good) or supra-normal (excellent). So how do we recognise a normal person? There are many possible ways but they boil down to the idea that, me and us are normal, they are not. In what follows we will look briefly at two broad views of enlightened normality and at a possible merging at the level of supra-normals. Reasonably enlightened normality In Europe there has been the Age of Reason and the Age of Enlightenment. These created a view of normality that favours rationality and materialism in a clockwork, Newtonian universe. The scientific method rules the modern world. Sub-normal people are hangovers from pre-modern times. They are traditionalists who are superstitious and believe in magic. Normal people are thoroughly modern and look for evidence to guide their rational, systematic and selfish thought processes. Supra-normal people are the lions of philosophy, science and economics who embrace post-modernism with its deep-rooted, radical doubt and its existential uncertainty - anything goes. In this view the social paradigm involves dualism and debate. There are winners and losers. Competition. Humanity is seen as having dominion over creation. Integrally enlightened normality In the east there have been thoughts of enlightenment and thus of liberation and release for more than 2000 years. Sub-normal people believe in the abiding reality of self and things. This is the root of their suffering. They are in the majority. Normal people appreciate (a) the impermanence of all created things and (b) the wisdom of renunciation and stillness. This leads to the end of suffering. Supra-normal people are the transcendent sages and gurus who fully embody the highest ideals and act as a role model for others. In this view the social paradigm involves monism, discussion and silent meditation. We are enmeshed in a web of multiple, complex and intertwining causes and conditions. Viewpoints are held lightly. Partnership. Everybody can win release from suffering by changing how they think. The merging of the supra-normals The above sketch is brutally over simple. It serves to polarise world views and to point to the possibility of a merging - at least at the level of the supra-normals. This might lead to a more systematic and compassionate stewardship of ourselves and the planet. Anderson (1996) noted the potential for humanity to wake up ... we have not one Enlightenment project but three: a Western one based on rational thought, an Eastern one based on seeing through the illusion of the Self, and a Postmodern one based on the concept of socially constructed reality. And despite their many differences, they share the common goal of liberation. Jean-Jacques Rousseau made the famous revolutionary pronouncement that "Men are born free, and everywhere are in chains." A couple of centuries later that still holds truth for us, but now we see that the strongest chains are symbolic ones, mind forged manacles." (p219) Source: Walter Truett Anderson (ed) (1996) The Fontana Post-Modernism Reader; Fontana; ISBN 0006863701 see http://www.srds.co.uk/begin/third_light.htm

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Let slip from mind

If there is a real ten-ton truck careering down the hill then step out of its way. If you are imagining a ten-ton truck careering down the hill then you can safely ignore it and let it slip from mind. To change the metaphor, think of a flight simulator and a real plane. The real plane has to be carefully returned to earth before you can safely switch it off: but you can switch off the simulator at any time and walk away - you can let it slip from mind. So - there are real ten-ton trucks; but less than we commonly suppose! Most often we have the option to withdraw attention from the imagined past and future and to be at peace in the reality of the present moment. So why do we routinely ignore the option? Is it because between birth and death we are (a) obliged to meet our essential basic needs and (b) urged to indulge in many extra fads and fashions? To most of us the extremes are undesirable ie joyless, ascetic renunciation at one end, and rampant, frivolous consumerism at the other. So how do we decide where to strike the balance? It has a lot to do with social programming - but this is not carved in stone! It is an ongoing process that drives and is driven by internal and external forces. And there is some freedom to thoughtfully choose this rather than that. So do you feel called to let slip from mind the imaginary ten-ton trucks that appear in your fad and fashion simulator? What matters in your life - to what should you give mind space - what is really real? We don't have to let go, we simply have to not hold on. Joseph Goldstein

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Life stages and motivations

As I move from cradle to grave my motivations change. I assume it is the same with most other people. The following matrix offers a map that helps me (and thus perhaps you) to make sense of what is going on. The matrix draws loosely on Hindu typologies with the four life stages crossed with the four main types of motivations. The typologies are more or less self-evident but they are described elsewhere. Note that the axes have a very loose time dimension with a shift from (1) students motivated by pleasure through (2) householders motivated by success (wealth, fame and power), and (3) retirees motivated by duty (to your community and to your higher Self) and then to (4) saints motivated by liberation (and the fearless peace that passes all rational understanding). Motivations Pleasure Life stages student householder retiree saint 1 2 3 4 Success Duty Liberation

In the modern, materialist world few people advance beyond seeking pleasure and success as householders. The path of desire for pleasure and success is mainly for the student and the householder. The path of renunciation involves duty and liberation and is mainly for the retiree and the saint. In the Hindu tradition the retiree is also called a forest dweller. For such people pleasure and success are seen as too trivial to satisfy their total nature. They thus rest in silence and solitude so as to dutifully make the inward journey and thus turn their minds around. The saints have turned their minds around. They neither hate nor love anything. Time and place have lost their hold. The mere presence of these (people) in a society to which they no longer belong, by its affirmation of ultimate values, affects all values the super social and anonymous life of the truly poor person who voluntarily relinquishes all obligations and all rights, represents (Hindu societys) quintessence. Coomaraswami (1957)

The sixteen boxes make divisions and edges that are sharper and clearer than my experience of life to date. I have been a lifelong student and never married or had children. I have lived in seven different countries where hedonism and workaholism were close companions and a source of much pleasure and success. I am now 60 years old and have been semi-retired for ten years. These days I reckon myself to be world weary but reasonably motivated to dutifully seek liberation by treading the path of renunciation. So there are rough edges but the map helps me to make some sense of what goes on in my head as I move from cradle to grave. How about you?

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What people want

Different people want different things, and patterns change with age and experience. By mapping the most usual patterns we can figure our own present and possible future patterns35. So what do people want? Hinduism recognises four great aims - pleasure, worldly success (wealth, fame and power), dutifulness to society, and liberation. The first two involve satisfying selfish desires and the second two involve moving beyond selfish desire. pleasure, worldly success, dutifulness to society, liberation

There is nothing wrong with any of these and it is possible (if unusual) to be a selfish pleasure seeker who dies happy and content. Many people, however, eventually weary of chasing fleeting pleasures and worldly success. They feel, often in mid life, as if there must be more to being human than this. There can then be despair (the legendary existential crisis!) and a change of direction from the path of desire to the path of renunciation. Note that the path of renunciation has two variations - (a) a push away from lesser things (the legendary world weariness) and (b) a pull towards higher things. And there are two paths on the road to higher things - (a) selfless service to the community (duty beyond the call of the selfish ego) and (b) retreat from attachment to worldy stuff and thus, through stillness, to spiritual liberation. Pleasure is not wicked but it is too trivial to satisfy ones total nature. Smith (p14) The glamour of yesterday I have come to see as tinsel. Anon Wealth, fame and power - you cant take it with you. Anon The guiding principle is not to turn from desire until desire turns from you. Smith (p17) When they find themselves crying Vanity, vanity, all is vanity! it may occur to them that the problem stems from the smallness of the self they have been scrambling to serve. Smith (p18) There comes a time when one asks even of Shakespeare, even of Beethoven, is this all? Aldous Huxley What if the interests of the self were expanded to the point of approximating a Gods eye view of humanity? Smith (p23) Detachment from the finite self or attachment to the whole of things - we can state the phenomenon either positively or negatively. When it occurs, life is lifted above the possibility of frustration and above ennui. Smith (p240 Such power as I possess for working in the political field has derived from my experiments in the spiritual field. Gandhi So - where would you pinpoint yourself on the map? What do you want?

This note draws heavily on Huston Smith (1991) The World Religions - Our Great Wisdom Traditions. ISBN 0062508113
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To change my mind
Aim Objectives To change my mind To know the peace that passes all understanding Monitoring % of time in the pink rather than with the blues (world weary burn out) % of time in that non-egoic state that is outside of space and time The ease with which negative states of mind can be stilled The extent to which I infectiously exude the peace (charisme) Monitoring Reduced number of meetings/week Reduced number of make-work activities Reduced number of TV programmes watched No. of periods of stillness/day (20 minute slots) Daily, weekly, annually No. of margin marks in books No. of one-pagers created and shared via web No. of links in http://delicious.com/dodclark No. of sittings with the Findhorn group No. of visits to Anamcara No. of online dharma talks listened to

Activities Cut back on busy-ness

Make time for stillness Address the wisdom literature (Eastern and Western) (including online sources) Hang out with like-minded souls (including online sources)

Notes: Beware extreme asceticism (remember the middle way) Let renunciation follow its inner course (gradual falling away of desires) Midway - in between stages (defreezing) throw up more blues and dis-ease than before but this is a natural part of the transformative process Clarify the pathological view (abnormal but not sick - at least in principle!) (Mindfulness (no self) v psychotherapy (robust self))

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Self-made millionaires and mystics

self-made - having achieved success or recognition by your own efforts; "a self-made millionaire; a self-made mystic" 0 It is estimated that there are 1210 billionaires in the world as of 2011. 412 (34%) of these are in the US. In second place comes China with 95 (10.6%). The UK is in 9th place with 33 (2.7%)36. Biography.com lists 146 millionaires with celebrity status in the US. They are in 36 categories that include Computer Programmers, Engineers, Fashion Designers, Inventors, Legal Professionals, Military Leaders, Musicians, Philanthropists, and Politicians. The Biography web site notes that The American Dream is the notion that, with hard work, any individual can emerge from poor circumstances to a life of wealth and security. Despite the economic ups and downs of modern times, the notion of lifting one's self up is still ingrained in our mindset. Some of our most famous celebrities are, in fact, people who came from nothing. Talent, hard work, and good fortune aligned to make these individuals successful business leaders, actors, athletes and more.37 In China, it is estimated that there are close to a million millionaires and six hundred billionaires. And those numbers are rising: half the world's billionaires will come from China within the decade38. And the key elements of talent, hard work and good fortune are not restricted to the US. They are also well appreciated in China as can be seen in often reproduced rags to riches stories such as that by Wu Changjiang the present day chairman of NVC Lighting39 rags to riches lifting one's self up people who came from nothing any individual can emerge from poor circumstances The millionaire work ethic has religious (mystical) roots Presbyterian in the west (after Christ, Luther and Calvin) and Confucian in the east (After Lao Tzu, Mencius and Confucius). The Buddha consulted many of the spiritual teachers of his day but none of them offered the answers that he sought. So he found them for himself. The system that he developed and promoted was a psychology of perception rather than a religion. Blind faith had no place is his system which was based on suck it and see. The truth is self evident to those who are prepared to embrace it. There is no magic. All that is required is an attitude of being awake to what goes on in your mind and willing to lift oneself up 40. So the Buddha was a self-made mystic. Bureaucrats followed. Dharma lineages record the family tree of the Buddhist tradition. Genealogical charts show how the Buddhist Dharma or true teachings have been passed down through the ages 41. Dharma lineages usually begin with Sakyamuni Buddha and extend down through a line of Buddhist Masters up to the present

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_the_number_of_US_dollar_billionaires
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38 39

http://www.biography.com/people/groups/wealth/self-made-millionaire/

http://www.businessinsider.com/china-wealth-2012-4?op=1 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20088092 40 The Indian emperor Ashoka ruled almost all the Indian subcontinent from ca. 269 BCE to 232 BCE. Latterly he promoted Buddhist values 41 In Christianity there is the apostolic succession http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostolic_succession Page | 31

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day. By investigating the Dharma Lineages of the Great Buddhist Masters, we catch a glimpse of how Buddhist schools have evolved through the ages 42. But the potential for awakening is ever present and it need not involve the lineages. Mystical entrepreneurs can blossom forth from the humblest of circumstances and at any time (see the following box for some recent examples) Three recent self-made mystics Master Xu-yun (1829 1959) was very much a self-made man who, in China, re-established Zen buildings and teachings on the strength of his own insight - without teachers43 Ramana Maharsi (1879-1950) did not claim to be anything special but he became the centre of a spiritual cottage industry with international outreach. He was largely self-taught. Eckhart Tolle (1948 present) is a German-born Canadian resident, best known as the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth. In 2011, he was listed by the Watkins Review as the most spiritually influential person in the world. After his epiphany he slept rough for a couple of years before becoming an influential author and teacher. Largely self-made.

So there are self made people in both financial and spiritual spheres. Extra-ordinary people who have humble beginnings but who, in time, stand out from the crowd. The millionaires accumulate wealth and power for themselves (although some become philanthropists later in life). The mystics know the non-egoic peace and, often despite themselves, radiate calm, walk the talk of renunciation, and thus make the world a better place. Those who are self-made are by definition not other-made whether the other be natural (social) or supernatural (religious). We could hypothesise a gene for entrepreneurship, for standing out from the crowd, for thinking, feeling and acting different, for being a nutter. (He thinks too much, such men are dangerous.44) Such weirdos help maintain the variety that natural selection can act upon to make evolution possible. More creative thinkers would be useful during times of crisis but they would have to be kept well in their place during stable times. The immediate context is crucial as it derives from the geo-historical happenstances of a particular time and space. Live and let live

http://eng.buddhapia.com/_Service/BUDDHAPIA/0000000163/ http://www.thezensite.com/ZenTeachings/Translations/EmptyCloud_The_Autobiography_of_Xu_Yun.pdf 44 "Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look; He thinks too much: such men are dangerous". (Julius Caesar) Act I, Scene II)
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Once born again let the mud settle

Metaphor - the normal mental state is muddy water stirred up by the ever active mind the ONCE BORN. But this mental state can, through stillness, be transformed to clarity and peace BORN AGAIN. 00 There is a vital, mental churn which identifies fleeting patterns and agencies in the external world. These mind-made perceptions help us to monitor the sense channels for signs of positive or negative stimuli. But what type and level of busy-ness is most functional and under what circumstances? There would appear to be an abnormal (supra-normal?) mental state of peaceful clarity. This becomes apparent when the mind has been still for some time and the mud has settled. It is the human birthright and is ever-present; but, in most people, the mental mud hides it from view. Those who have known the mental clarity report experiencing patterns and agencies that are non-egoic (self-less). These are related to compassion and peace as reflected in an everexpanding boundary line between them and us. Inclusiveness continues to develop until the principle pattern is the Oneness. As a result of the non-egoic perception the frantic desire to have and to do is replaced by the simple intention to be. Renunciation follows automatically. The erstwhile blood lusting tribal warriors and capitalist consumers are now seen to be mind made mental mud. So there is a continuum (see the table) and most reasonable observers consider it to be a good thing that the mind state of most people transforms from ONCE BORN to being BORN AGAIN. ONCE BORN Ever-active mind Muddy water Territorial warriors Capitalist consumers Egoic greed & exploitation Many phenomena To have and to do BORN AGAIN Still mind Clarity Global stewards Renunciants Non-egoic compassion The Oneness To be

The following quotes are from https://www.facebook.com/pages/Meditation-Masters/218587618170634 "At its core, meditation is about touching the spiritual essence that exists within us all. Our spiritual essence is not something that we create through meditation it's already there, deep within, behind all the barriers, patiently waiting for us to recognize it." ~ Aaron Hoopes "Meditation means to be constantly extricating yourself from the clinging of mind. By letting go of even the thought I, and 'me' what is left? There is nowhere to stand and no one to stand there. No separation anywhere. Pure awareness. Neither this, nor that. Just clarity and being. ~ Ram Dass "If your mind is happy then you are happy anywhere you go. When wisdom awakens within you, you will see Truth wherever you look. Truth is all there is. Its like when you learned how to read, you can then read anywhere you go." ~ Ajahn Chah

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"Thoughts are impediments to seeing your deepest nature. Don't give rise to any thought, and discover who you are. That ocean of eternal peace is you. What is the difficulty that we suffer from? It is that we seek peace elsewhere and do not experience that we are peace incarnate itself." ~ PapaJi "Y0ou are not merely the body; you are 100% Pure Being. But you must find this out for yourself. It must become your own discovery, happening in your innermost being." ~ Mooji Meditation is essentially training our attention so that we can be more aware not only of our own inner workings but also of whats happening around us in the here & now. ~ Sharon Salzberg, Born 1952 Mindfulness practice means that we commit fully in each moment to be present; inviting ourselves to interface with this moment in full awareness, with the intention to embody as best we can an orientation of calmness, mindfulness, and equanimity right here and right now. ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn The inner revolution will not be televised or sold on the Internet. It must take place within one's own mind and heart. ~ Noah Levine "Meditation is giving yourself time to just be yourself. There is nothing to it other than that, its nothing really special, just allowing yourself to relax and be yourself without worrying about what has happened in the past, or without worrying about whats going to happen in the future. Just to simply relax and rest in your own natural state is all that you need to do, giving yourself the opportunity to do that." ~ 17th Karmapa "Is it possible to stop the noisy mind? Yes, but not through force, for it thrives on force. I will show you an easy way. Stop identifying with your mind's play. Be the witness only, detached and impersonal. Don't move from this. Once you are stable as the witness, find out if this witness can be found."~ Mooji "You are always the Supreme. But your attention is fixed on things, physical or mental. When your attention is off a thing and not yet fixed on another, in the interval you are pure being. When through the practice of detachment you let go of sensory and mental states, pure being emerges as the natural state." ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. ~ Dalai Lama XIV Treat every moment as your last. It is not preparation for something else. ~ Shunryu Suzuki Just Sit. ~ Dogen

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Levels of Consciousness
There has been an evolutionary progression from simple consciousness in lesser beings through to illusory self consciousness in early humans. There is now the potential for a much larger percentage of humanity being conscious of consciousness and thus being the vanguard for the cosmos getting to know itself and for peace in our time

Being conscious.
If an organism can sense and respond to changes in its environment it is conscious. This process is embodied in many ways. Some examples follow. If a seed is planted upside down it will sense this and send its stem upward and its root downward. Some flowers close their petals when it gets dark and open them when it gets light. Plants that eat insects are capable of very rapid responses. Single celled animals are aware of changing patterns of light, temperature and chemicals, and they respond by moving towards or away from them. The cell membrane is the surface where various types of external stimuli are noticed. They then cause reactions inside cells. The reactions are in terms of life processes such as nutrition, respiration, and excretion etc. The various life processes exist to ensure successful reproduction. Mature herring gulls have a bright yellow beak with a prominent red spot. Chicks in the nest see the parent coming and gape expecting to be fed. Scientists made artificial beaks. Pure yellow and pure red beaks had no effect but yellow beaks with a red spot caused the gaping reaction. The stimulus caused a response so there is consciousness. There are many examples of stimuli causing automatic responses. Experiments on nest building in certain species of birds have demonstrated the power and sophistication of the genetic control of behaviour. Chicks were taken from the nest and raised in cages with no access to nest building materials and no exposure to nests. This was repeated over several generations and when nest building materials were eventually made available perfect nests were built. Those birds did not have to go to school the genes hard wired them with all they needed to know. Nature provided so nurture did not have to. As a general rule bird behaviour is based mainly on instinct (nature) while mammal behaviour is based mainly on learning (nurture). But there is a lot of interplay.

being self conscious

Human beings are hard wired to learn a language nature has supplied the genes; but the particular language that is learned depends on the environment nurture supplies the details of the language and thus the world view of the speaker. Human babies are born needing much care and attention we are learning machines and there are many options Language began about 100,000 years ago. Previous to this our ancestors were conscious in the impersonal way outlined above for plants and various animals. But everything changed once nouns and verbs evolved. Reality is a seamless whole but language cuts it into discrete bits and labels them. Fundamental labels were for self and other and this gave the illusion of dualism. The concept of self gave rise to the notions of being self-ish (greedy and parochial) and of being self-less (generous and cosmopolitan). There came to be the language of I, me and mine. The enervating illusion of self came into being and flourished during the move from early hunting and gathering to 21st century globalisation. In reality there is only the Oneness which is everything. Dualism is an illusion but the Abrahamic religions are founded on it. The individuated self with its desires and aversions is an illusion but consumer capitalism is built on it. A multitude of illusory viewpoints and world views drive contradictory belief systems - and wars are based on them.

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Being self conscious is possible only when there is language. But the notion of an individuated self is an illusion. The self has no physical properties or location. It is a cognate equivalent of Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. Most of todays humans are unaware that their self does not exist as a stand alone entity. Mo00st people believe that their self is real and that it has desires, aversions and a mind of its own. That belief has survival value and has evolved to guide human social development. BUT - the belief is responsible for more sorrow than joy - BUT that is not relevant in evolutionary terms. The relevance comes from the patterns of consumption that have arisen and the damage inflicted on the planet by capitalist consumers.

Being conscious of consciousness

The Axial Age in human development lasted from 800 to 200BC. Those were times of rapid social change that called for new ways of thinking and being in the world. Various sages promoted quiet sitting and, by taking thought, changed their minds. The troublesome nature of the illusory self became apparent - no self, no problem Renunciation of wordly stuff arose without effort Cosmic consciousness (interbeing) was awakened in various human heads The Oneness was experienced in all its numinosity The inadequacy of language to deal with matters spiritual became apparent The advantages of quiet sitting were promoted The interplay between consciousness and unconsciousness was recognised The meditators of the Axial Age may not have reached a critical mass. Their insights were usually institutionalised by the dead hand of established authorities. Impact was therefore very limited. Things have not changed much up until present times. But, arguably, there is now the potential for widespread promotion of radically alternative thinking. We have widespread angst, and the technology to address it. There is a fast growing consilience between multidisciplinary western scientific researchers and long standing eastern practitioners to investigate and promote meditation and mindfulness. Consciousness of consciousness will be in a higher percentage of human minds. The planet will thus be more peaceful and sustainably green.

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Renunciation is in our plastic genes

Evolution is possible because of selection which can be either natural or under domestication: and selection is possible because of variation which is generated through reproductive processes at cosmic, biological and cultural levels. The biological and cultural levels can be plotted on an expanding horizon: Gene, individual, family, community, political party, nation state, TNC, UN TNC = Transnational Corporation; UN = United Nations Selection operates simultaneously on these many levels. What is good for the TNC might be bad for the individual. What is good for the individual might be bad for the community. What is good at one level can be good or bad at other levels. The value judgement depends on the location of the judge. The overall process is value free and ruthless. Fitness means being better represented in the next generation than the competition. At a personal level the horizons are very familiar: Me - Us - Them In western capitalist countries the individuated and selfish Me is the reified centre of attention. But this is unlikely to lead to evolutionary success because humans are social animals who need family and friends to survive. Every Me has an Us and every Us has a Them. With Us there is altruistic in-group cooperation; with Them there is selfish, out-group competition. After many generations of hunting and gathering in competitive groups we would expect evolution to have hard wired certain cognitive and affective orientations in the human brain. Thus we have instincts as part of our nature: and these provide the platform for the nurturing process of learning what we need to know, say and do to survive. Survival is a hot topic at this stage in human evolution on the surface of planet earth. There is now consciousness of consciousness. This lets us see a need for sustainable development at the level of the planet. People will have to consume less. This requires a change of heart and mind. This may not be as difficult as is commonly thought. The root concept is belonging. It is in our nature to think in terms of Me, Us and Them but it is our nurture that decides where the boundaries are set. Sages and mystics from many times and places have demonstrated that it is possible to turn the mind away from its selfish nurturing. Selfless renunciation is in our plastic genes. So there is a theoretical solution. Are you going to help realise it?

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