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Reconciliation By Cary Pepper Grant 20s Serious

/ Grant speaks to his dying older brother, knowing this may be the last time theyll talk. Years ago his brother was turned out of the house and disowned by their parents for confessing his gay feelings to them. Grant, however, remained at home and so his father spoiled him because he was the brother who turned out normal. Grant realizes why he has grown up so terribly lonely, alienated from his parents and his absent brother, hating his father, his brother, and himself. He now detests the dirty secret that in reality denied him a loving brother. The monolog builds steadily from beginning to end, and it challenges the actor to achieve emotional variety so the speech doesnt resemble a long, boring, angry tirade. In addition to rebellion against his parents, there is great sadness in Grants words, as well as sympathy, pleading, self-hatred, and confusion as he struggles to piece his life together in what may be his last conversation with his brother.

GRANT: You think this is only about you? You think youre the only one whos been screwed over? You left You got out. I stayed I stayed in that house, with him And their dirty secret you could never talk about, but that they couldnt quite manage to hide. Youd think hed at least be happy you left. Or happy because I turned out normal Or happy about something, once the secret disappeared But no. Maybe he was terrified one day Id sit him down at the kitchen table and say, Guess what? Now there are two of us! Who knew what was going on in his head? But hed either cut me out, too, or hed be all over me. So he gives me everything I want I dont even have to ask. But half the time it felt like he was trying to buy me off. The other half, thanking me. So I lost you and I lost him and I lost And then you call and tell me youre dying And youre not even dying from the right thing! And I come here where everything is different everywhere I turn I I dont know what the hell is going on Im making it up as I go along I have to ask people everything about you (He begins to sob.) All these years Im hating him for what he did to you And hating him for what he did to me And hating me, for And you think this is only about you?!
SOURCE: Audition Scenes and Monologs from Contemporary Playwrights (ed. Roger Ellis)

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