~*~ A Midsummer Nightmare ~*~

By Karen

"I told you so!" Chloe spat out at Clark over a ruined article. "You told me what?" Clark asked dopily. Chloe rolled her eyes, completely and utterly annoyed, "I told you the article wasn't long enough! How could you do this to me, Clark?" she asked, on the verge of bawling because of a ruined article. Clark was about to say something in his defense, but he was saved by Chloe's cell phone ringing. "Argh!" Chloe groaned, before picking up the phone, "Hello?" "Aah... the ring... it's taking me over!" a voice on the other line said. "What? Frodo? Now what did you do?" Chloe sighed. "I've been stabbed and my face is all white and pale, and I'm about to die!! Aah!!" Frodo screamed. "Not again Frodo, what about that vest Bilbo gave you, you're supposed to be WEARING it!" Chloe said frustratedly. There's a long and silent pause... "Oh... right, well then I'm ok now, I just realised that I am wearing it." Frodo said, finally. Chloe rolled her eyes again, "Good. Now I have to go, bye." she hung up. Clark stared at Chloe curiously, "Frodo?" he asked. "Yeah, you know... he's my best friend." Chloe replied, turning slightly red at the fact of how sad she is. Clark raised his eyebrows in amusement, "Your best friend is a hobbit?" "What? I like hairy feet." Chloe replied simply, her cheeks turning warm. "Right." Clark nodded and smiled grimly, before turning around slowly and leaving the Torch in an awkward silence. He had other things to worry about, Chloe liking hairy feet was the least of his problems. He wondered where Lana was... ****************************************** "Hey Lana." Clark smiled as he walked into the classroom and saw Lana sitting at her desk. "Hey." Lana replied, trying not to sound too eager. She had liked Clark for a long time, but nothing ever seemed to get done about it. "Good morning class." Ms. Borin grinned. Lana sighed, what a way to start off the day! Sex education! Clark wasn't particularly enjoying this either, it reminded him that he wasn't human... even though he uh... had all the parts.

"So what is this part of the male anatomy called?" Ms. Borin beamed at her class enthusiastically as she pointed to the diagram. No one raised their hand, afraid of the humiliation. "How about you, Mr. Kent? Do you know?" Ms. Borin picks on Clark, quite an evil thing to do really. Clark swallowed, why him? Why choose him? "Umm..." he stuttered, "it's uh..." he gulped, "a penis?" The entire class erupted in laughter, as Clark turned red. "Quite correct, Mr. Kent. You know your stuff." Ms. Borin said. More laughter followed that comment. "Calm down please, there is nothing to laugh about. Every male has one." Ms. Borin cleared her throat, "I have an assignment for you to be done in pairs." she said clearly, she then continued, "I want you all to partner up with someone of the opposite sex as you will both be researching the male and female anatomy." Clark gulped. He had to get paired up with a girl? He didn't know any girls! He was sure Lana would easily find a guy that would want to pair up with her and "Hey Clark." Clark looked up at a smiling Lana. "Hi." he squeaked, "... Lana." "So uh... do you have a partner yet?" Lana asked nervously. "Um no, not yet." Clark attempted to smile, he always turned weak when Lana was around. "Well neither do I." Lana replied, hoping Clark would get the message. "Ok..." Clark looked to the side, apparently not getting the message at all. Lana sighed, "Ok, so do you want to do it... I mean... the assignment together?" she blurted out, just like that. "Sure Lana!" Clark grinned, sounding too desperate for his own liking. "Great, we'll um... we'll meet up sometime later then." she grinned at him, then went back to her seat. Clark fell back onto his chair dreamily, he was going to be doing a sex education assignment with the girl of his dreams. What luck! ~~~ After school, Lana headed back home. "Hi Lana, how was school?" Nell asked as Lana entered the house.

"It was ok. We have a new assignment." Lana replied. "What is it about?" Nell looked up from the book she was reading. "Oh, it's about -" *Ring ring* "I'll get it." Lana said quickly, before going on to pick up the phone, "Hello?" "Lana?! Oh my God, you won't believe what happened. I've been trying to reason with Professor McGonagall, but she said she couldn't change my mark! Can you believe her? I mean, an 'A' just doesn't do it, does it? I was expecting an 'A plus'! And on top of that, we think Voldermort is back and trying to get back at Harry AGAIN! Ron is all stressed out about it, and plus he broke his wand yet again and I have no idea what I'm going to do because ev-" "Hermione!" Lana shouted into the phone. "I'm sorry Lana, you know... everything's just been so crazy lately." Hermione replied. "Yeah, tell me about it." Lana calmed down herself, going to sit down on the couch with the cordless phone in her right hand. "It's not that Clark guy, is it? I haven't even met him and I think Viktor Krum is a whole lot better. You need a guy who can play quidditch, you know." Hermione said knowingly. "Hermione, I live in Smallville, not Hogwartsville!" Lana said sarcastically. "I know, I know. Anyway, I know this was risky, but during Potions with Snape... because I had already gone through the next chapter and all... I was thinking about you right... and I came up with this brilliant idea, but I want to meet you to talk about it." Hermione explained. "What is it?" Lana asked curiously. "Let's just say it involves your Clark guy." Hermione grinned to herself. "Ok, when do you want to meet?" Lana asked. "I'll just use a spell to get there and just use alohomora to get into your house and-" "Hermione, stop using alohomora! I'm sick of it!" Lana complained. "Sorry. Look, I'll find you, ok? You're going to love this plan." Hermione said enthusiastically, before saying goodbye and hanging up. Lana sighed as she fell back onto the couch. She wondered what 'plan' Hermione had in mind... she would have to wait to find out. ******************************************** "Hi Lana!!" Hermione burst into Lana's room out of nowhere. Lana jumped, "Hermione! Stop DOING that! You're supposed to warn me before you just come barging in like that! How did you get into my room anyway?" Lana asked.

"Oh, I used alohomora twice." Hermione grinned proudly. Lana rolled her eyes, "Well you're lucky it's a Saturday. Do your teachers know you're gone?" "Of course not! That's what Harry, Ron and I are known for! Sneaking around in business that isn't our own." Hermione explained. "Right." Lana smiled grimly, "Anyway, so what's this plan of yours?" "Oh it involves magic." Hermione nodded superiorly. "Ok so -" before Lana could finish, Chloe barged into the room. "I told you so!!!" she shouted at Lana, clearly not noticing Hermione. "What?" Lana asked confusedly. "I told you so, I told you so, I told you so!!!" Chloe continued her rant. "You told me WHAT, Chloe?" Lana raised her eyebrows. Chloe was about to say something, but she closed her mouth, "I forgot." "Well that's great." Lana laughed. Chloe turned her gaze to Hermione, "Oh hi, who are you? Some wizard freak from Harry Potter who somehow got transported to Smallville because you were fiddling with purple meteor rocks?!" "No, I'm -" Hermione began, but Chloe cut her off. "You know I would love an exclusive interview with you. You just have no idea how much you look like Hermione Granger with that bushy hair. I suppose the only thing missing is that bolt of lightning on your forehead." Chloe said knowingly. "Chloe, that's Harry." Lana said disbelievingly. There's a long pause. "Oh right. I knew that. Well, I'll just leave you two alone then." With that, Chloe turned around and exited the room. "Who is she?" Hermione said snobbishly. "She's my roommate." Lana replied. Hermione raised her eyebrows. "She's into journalism." Lana quickly added. "I see..." Hermione's mouth twisted to the side a little, "Anyhow, as I was saying, this plan involves magic." "Well what is it?" Lana asked curiously. Hermione smiled slyly, "I found this spell that we could use. I just have to be near Clark to cast it."

"What does it do?" Lana asked. "It makes him fall in love with you." Hermione grinned, "But," she continued, "when he opens his eyes, you have to be the one he sees first, or else everything just gets ruined and you know how damaging that could be to my reputation because everything I do is perfect." Lana nodded, "I know, I know." "So are you up for it?" Hermione asked eagerly. Lana thought for a moment. Sure, if it would bring Clark and her closer, "Yeah... I think I am." "Great." Hermione sighed relievingly, "We better get to work." ~~~ Meanwhile, Clark was stressing about the sex education assignment. "Mum, do you think it's appropriate to do this assignment with Lana, I mean... it's sort of embarrassing." Clark cringed slightly. "Oh baby, don't worry about it, you're going to be fine." Martha smiled assuringly. "Thanks mum." Clark grinned. "It's alright baby, you better go do your chores now." Martha replied. "Oh wait, I promised to call Pete first." Clark suddenly remembered. "Go ahead baby, take your time." Martha beamed at her son. Clark swallowed then headed over to the phone. He dialed Pete's number. "Hello?" a voice on the other line said. "Pete? It's Clark. What is it?" Clark asked. "Oh hey man, you won't believe who I'm paired up with for that sex assignment!" Pete shouted enthusiastically. "Pete, it's a sex education assignment, it's not just all about sex." Clark insisted, "Who are you with anyway?" "Julie Sanders, one of the hottest girls in our grade! Ha!" Pete laughed. "Well that's great. Guess who I'm with?" Clark asked. "Lana, I heard." Pete said quickly, "I'm sure you two will have a lot of fun." "Pete, it's not like that." Clark said defensively, "What's that noise in the background?" "Oh it's my dog, Snoopy. He's knawing at my leg. I better go feed him some peanuts. I'll see you later man!" Pete said, before hanging up. Clark put the phone down slowly... who feeds their dogs peanuts?!

Clark shrugged, before going outside to help his dad with the remaining chores. ~~~ Next door... more interesting things were happening. Lana and Hermione had the magic all planned. Now all they had to do was wait for tomorrow. ****************************************** *Ring ring* "Hello?" Clark picked up the phone on this nice, hot Sunday morning. "Clark? It's me, Lana." Lana replied on the other end. "Oh hi." Clark said, suddenly sounding self-conscious. "Hey um... so... are you busy today?" Lana asked casually. "No, not really." Clark replied simply, fantasizing in the back of his mind that Lana was about to ask him out, but he reckoned that this was about the sex ed assignment. "Good. It's really hot, isn't it?" Lana commented. She had to go according to the plan. "Yeah, it is." Clark replied in a lost tone. "So um... I was wondering..." Lana paused, this was harder than she thought, "... do you want to go swimming at Crater Lake? Today?" she blurted out, a million thoughts of rejection running through her mind. Clark froze up, Lana WAS asking him out! This was... wow... he couldn't stop his mouth from forming into a wide grin. "Really? When?" Clark asked over-enthusiastically. Lana froze up too. He actually said YES, well... she thought that's what he meant... he might just be saying it to make her feel good. "I was thinking now, is that ok?" Lana smiled to herself. She bit her bottom lip, what if he was just joking with her? "Yeah, that'd be great. I'll see you there, Lana." Clark replied quickly. Lana put the phone down gently. "He's going." she said monotonously, still surprised at his answer. "Well that's a good thing." Hermione said in her hermione-voice. "I know... it's just... do you think he's just saying that so he doesn't hurt my feelings?" Lana frowned.

"I don't know, but it doesn't matter anyway, the spell is going to work." Hermione insisted, trying to sound intelligent. Lana nodded, "Ok, let's do this." "Good. We should go now." Hermione brought out her wand, "You know... this is sixth year magic, I really shouldn't know how to do it, but because I'm me of course, I already know." "That's great, just say it." Lana said hurriedly. "Patience Lana." Hermione coughed her throat clear, "Transcendo Crater Lake Incantentum." In a poof, Lana found herself amongst the trees, Crater Lake just ahead. "Weren't we supposed to use floo powder?" Lana suddenly asked. "No, I didn't have any. I researched this instant get-there spell, as you may call it, just for you." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Thanks." was all Lana could think of to say. She peered through the bush and saw that Clark was already sitting on the boardwalk waiting for her. "He's over there." Lana told Hermione quietly. Hermione was about to say something, but Lana interrupted, "Wait... do you think I should be doing this to him?" "Well of course Lana, you like him, don't you? And we're not in Hogwarts, so it's perfectly advisable." Hermione said, her nose high. "But what if..." Lana paused, unsure, "what if he does like me... you know." she said hopefully. "Maybe he does, but he's not being very forward about it, is he? This spell will make him more forward and I guarantee he won't be able to keep his eyes off you." Hermione explained like a salesperson. Lana liked the sounds of that, maybe Clark did like her, but they'd known each other for a while and he never made a move. Perhaps this spell could help. "Ok, let's do it." Lana finally said after a deep breath. Hermione rolled up her sleeve, "Ok, be quiet." she ordered as she advanced closer to Clark. She held her wand up and whispered, "Incantatus Lovosa." Lana noticed a slight gold glittery, sparkly light travel to Clark, surrounding on him. "It's done." Hermione grinned, proud of her work. "What did you do to him?" Lana raised her eyebrows at an unconscious Clark. "Oh yes, that happens. You have to wait a while for him to wake up and then when he sees you first, the effects of the spell should take place immediately." Hermione explained. "How long does it take?" Lana asked curiously.

"Up to half an hour. I'm sure it would be ok if you leave him there, no one really comes to this Crater Lake, do they?" Hermione asked. Lana shook her head, "No, not really." "So you can come back and see if he's woken up in half and hour or so if you want." Hermione suggested. "Ok, that's a good idea, because I wanted to get that homework done." Lana said thoughtfully. "Good." Hermione concluded, before taking out her wand and zapping the both of them back to Lana's room. ~~~ Fifteen minutes later... Clark began to stir, what had happened? He felt different, like his heart had opened up to something new. He felt like he needed to love. Very slowly, his eyelids raised and his eyes adjusted to the light of the sun. He blinked as he came face to face with clear lake water. Where was he again? He smiled dopily. Suddenly, a clownfish popped out of the water. Clark's eyes widened, then they softened again. "Help, you have to help me!" the clownfish cried desperately. Clark was in a haze as he whispered dreamily back to the little fish, "Pray gentle fish, sing again, your words are music to my ears!" "No, you have to help me, please! My name's Nemo, and I'm lost... I don't know where my dad is!" Nemo complained. "Come, sit thee down upon this boardwalk, as I thy amiable cheeks do coy, and stick musk-roses in they sleek smooth head, and stroke thy small fins, my gentle joy." Clark said in a dreamy tone, feeling full of love. "What?! Please help me, I miss my dad!" Nemo cried. "You are the angel that has woken me from my peaceful slumber." Clark continued. "Oh this is awful." Nemo began to sob. "On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee." Clark whispered, stroking Nemo's head. "Please stop that, you're my only hope now." Nemo cried desperately. "I cherish those words, thou art as wise as thou art beautiful." Clark replied.

"Aah!" Nemo panicked. "You shall come with me, dear Nemo and your every need shall be attended to." Clark said hazily, before scooping Nemo out of Crater Lake. "Ah, I can't breathe!" Nemo called out urgently, "Just let me go, please just let me go!" "Never. You are mine as I am thine. Let us go and be on our way." Clark said mistily, before superspeeding back home with Nemo in his hands. ***************************************** Lana looked up at the clock, half an hour was almost over, so she decided to head back to Crater Lake to see Clark. Hermione had to go discuss her Charms mark with some professor, so Lana had to drive there herself. She felt excitement building up inside of her as she neared closer to Crater Lake. Clark was going to declare his love for her!! She couldn't wait. When she arrived, she hopped out of her car and headed over to the boardwalk, only to find... no one. No one at all. Clark wasn't there. Where did he go? "Oh..." Lana panicked slightly, "Clark..." she said out loud to no one. She then sighed and headed back home. Maybe Clark had already woken up... and that wasn't a good thing. ~~~ Meanwhile at the Kent Farm, Clark was declaring passionate words of love to a confused Nemo. "Oh my love, your eyes sparkle like the stars that light the night sky!" he chanted. Nemo had been put into a large jar filled with water, with drawn on love hearts all over it, courtesy of Clark, of course. "Let me out, I don't belong here!" Nemo shouted. "But I love thee and you love me, we are destined to be together!" Clark insisted. *Knock knock* Martha hurried to open the door. "Oh hello Lana." she beamed at Lana. "Hi Mrs Kent... um... I was wondering if Clark's here." Lana said uncertainly. Mrs Kent's smile turned into a frown, "Oh yes... uh... he's home, he's just... he's just a little preoccupied right now." Mrs Kent forced a smile. "Why? Is he ok?" Lana asked anxiously. "We don't really know. He's sort of..." Martha trailed off, unable to explain what had happened to her son.

"Can I talk to him, do you think?" Lana asked. "Of course..." Martha replied slowly, still unsure. She then turned around and called, "Baby! Lana's here!" Clark heard his mum call him. "Dear Nemo, I promise you I shall return soon and we shall be united as star-crossed lovers once again." Clark scooped Nemo out of the jar and kissed him lightly on the head. "Yuck, yuck, yuck!!" Nemo shouted in a disastrous tone. Clark simply grinned and placed Nemo back into the jar, before heading downstairs. "Clark!" Lana shouted out instantly, like a natural thing. "Lana." Clark simply said. "Clark, can we go talk?" Lana asked urgently. "Yes, but I cannot talk for long, my one true love is waiting upstairs for me." Clark replied. Lana turned her gaze to Martha, who smiled grimly back. "Oh uh... who is your um... one true love?" Lana asked curiously, though dreading the answer. "It is my dear Nemo, the one I dream of every night." Clark smiled dreamily. "Nemo?!" Lana asked disbelievingly, "The fish?" Clark nodded. "Clark I -" Lana began, but Clark interrupted. "I have been parted from my love for a moment too long, I must be on my way." Clark said hazily, before turning around and leaping up the stairs in delight. Lana gulped. This was bad. This was very bad. She had to contact Hermione!! Lana hurried back home next door, only to be met with a frantic Chloe. "I told you so, I told you so!! Didn't I?" Chloe spat out urgently. "Not now Chloe, I'm a mess." Lana quickly answered. "No Lana, I told you so and you didn't believe me." Chloe replied. "You told me what?" Lana asked impatiently. "I told you, you shouldn't have cast that spell on Clark! Now look what happened to him! He's in love with a clownfish of all things alive!" Chloe's eyes widened.

Lana paused, "How... how did you know? I mean... I know you knew about the whole plan, but how did you know he fell in love with Nemo?" "How couldn't I know? I'm sure you would have noticed something peculiar if you saw Clark leaping through the fields dreamily with a clownfish in his hands like that." Chloe explained. Eugh. That sounded so... un-Clark like. "Oh Chloe, what am I going to do? If I can't get Clark back to normal, we won't be able to do our sex ed assignment, which is worth more than necessary!" Lana cried. "I don't know..." Chloe paused, "But I told you so, didn't I?" she grinned superiorly. "Yes Chloe, you told me so." Lana replied reluctantly. Then a knock on the door was heard. "Oh, I'll get it." Chloe offered, walking over to open the door. "Who -" she began, but then she looked down, only to see her best friend, Frodo the hobbit from the Shire. "Oh hi Frodo, I wasn't expecting you for a while. Who's your friend?" Chloe smiled. Lana raised her eyebrows. "This is Sam." Frodo replied. "Well hello Sam." Chloe beamed. Lana stared. "Chloe, Saruman's army is nearing and the orcs are on the move. Aragorn has let me go and Sam followed." Frodo explained, he then turned all serious, "I wish this ring wasn't my burden. I wish none of this had ever happened." he said in his I-am-Frodo-the-one-please-feel-sorry-for-me voice. Chloe began to feel sorry for Frodo, "Then let me have the ring, share some of the burden." she began, but to Frodo, who had been influenced by Gollum, Chloe was simply trying to take the ring away from him. "No." Frodo quickly said, shielding the ring hanging around his neck. "Frodo, she's not trying to take the ring from you." Lana joined in the conversation. Sam drawed out his sword, "Don't come a step closer, ma'am." he ordered. Lana laughed, "I'm not going to hurt you and I don't want that ring!" she said, smiling. Suddenly, Lana heard something behind her and in a sparkly glow, appeared Hermione, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. "Hermione!" Lana cried relievingly, "You won't believe what -" "I know what happened, your journalism friend told me." Hermione rolled her eyes, "I can't believe you, you've completely brought down my reputation. I had to bring Harry and Ron for back up." Hermione said, pissed off slightly.

Lana waved at Harry and Ron. Ron looked around curiously, "Wicked." he said, amused, "So this is how muggles live?" "Yes Ron, don't touch anything." Harry replied, before holding his head in pain, "Aah!" "Oh Harry, what is it?" Hermione asked anxiously, turning her attention to Harry. "It's... it's... it's... it's... it's... my scar! Ah!" Harry put his hand on his scar, "It's burning." "Oh... Voldemort must be gaining more power." Hermione said panickedly. "Hermione! Can you not say You-Know-Who's name?!" Ron looked around nervously. Hermione looked at Ron disapprovingly, then turned back to Lana, "We have to do something about Clark. He can't be in love with a fish." Hermione said, frowning. "Of course not, but what can I do?" Lana cried desperately. "I'll think of something." Hermione said thoughtfully, annoyed that she hadn't found a reverse spell yet. Suddenly, a loud voice was heard. "Hey guys, what's the party?" Pete barged through the door between the two hobbits. He scanned the room for Clark, but he was nowhere in sight. "What's going on?" Pete looked from the hobbits to the Hogwarts three confusedly. He was holding a leash, his dog Snoopy attached to the end. "Look Harry, what's that?!" Ron pointed at Snoopy excitedly. "It's a dog, Ron." Harry replied. "A dog? Does it deliver the mail? Do they fly?" Ron asked, full of questions. "No, they're a pet." Harry said, slightly annoyed. His scar was still burning and he was attempting to look stoned, as always. "Well I was just walking Snoopy and I saw all you guys from the distance so I just decided to drop in to see what was going on." Pete explained. Snoopy began knawing at Pete's leg. "Oh, here ya go man." Pete took some peanuts out of his right pocket, "Beg..." he ordered his dog. Snoopy jumped up and down. "Good dog." Pete grinned proudly, handing the peanuts over to Snoopy. Everyone stared at Pete, completely dumbfounded. "Uh um..." Lana was first to break the silence, "Maybe we should work on getting Clark back to normal first." she suggested.

As if on cue, Clark, holding Nemo in the jar under his right arm, barged through the doors, wearing a large grin. ****************************************** "Clark!" Lana shouted with a mix of feelings. "Hello Lana, I thought everyone should meet my dear Nemo, my one true love." Clark grinned. Everyone stared. "This is worst than I thought!" Hermione spat out. "Who's that, Harry? What's he holding, Harry?" Ron asked, deeply amused. "He's a muggle Ron and he's holding a fish." Harry replied monotonously. "My dear Nemo is not a fish, but a beautiful creature." Clark corrected. "Yes, but it is still a fish." Hermione said knowingly. "Hey man, what's gotten into you?" Pete raised his eyebrows. "I never knew what love was until now." Clark smiled dreamily. Lana began to feel uneasy and jealous of the fortunate clownfish who had managed to win Clark's heart. "Clark, you're not yourself." she reminded him, as well as herself. "I have never been more me than ever. I have found my dear Nemo at last, my whole life I have searched through the steep mountains of the clouds and now I have found love." Clark expressed in passionate words. Lana looked hurt, being jealous of a fish was not easy! "Man, you need some rest." Pete suggested. "No, I need love and I have found it at last." Clark replied mistily. "Blimey, this is disgusting! Haven't you found a reverse spell yet, Hermione?" Ron turned to look at Hermione. "I'm working on it, ok? It's not that easy, which is difficult." Hermione sighed, swallowing. She had been stressed out ever since she heard her spell went wrong. "Well maybe I can help, Fred and George gave me this spell." Ron took out his broken wand. He coughed his throat clear. "No, Ron, your wand is damaged!" Hermione shouted desperately, but it was too late, Ron had already begun. "Clownfish, Nemo, Orange, blue, Clark is not,

In love with you." Ron said clearly. A greenish swish flew out of the end of his wand and headed straight for Clark. "Look at all the pretty colours love is making." Clark smiled dopily as the green swish finally reached him. He dropped the jar and water flew everywhere, as did Nemo. "Aah!!!!!" Nemo panicked as he flew through the air. "Oh gawd, I'll get him!!" Chloe shouted. "No, I'll get it!!" Lana joined in. "No, I've got it!!" Pete said, almost in unison. "He's coming right 'ere!" Ron insisted. "No, I'll get him!" Hermione shouted snobbishly. "I'm Harry Potter and I'll save him!" Harry cried. They all charged in together and crashed into one big heap, as a helpless Nemo lay on the side of the huge huddle. Nearby, Clark was lying unconscious on the carpet, but his eyes began to stir. Very slowly, his eyes blinked open. He tilted his head over to his right as everything gradually blurred into clear view. Clark blinked once, he looked confused for a moment, before his lips curled into a dreamy smile. "You are my love!" he exclaimed getting up. Everyone's attention turned to him. Frodo's eyes widened as he noticed Clark was looking straight at him! "Oh dear Sam." Frodo whispered to his hobbit companion. ******************************************* "Oh gawd..." Lana whispered, "This isn't happening, this isn't happening!" she tried to convince herself. Pete's dog, Snoopy, had made its way over to a helpless Nemo, lying breathlessly on the carpet floor. Snoopy sniffed it. "That tickles." Nemo commented. Snoopy scooped Nemo in its paws and ran over to Pete and began knawing. "Huh? Oh hey man, what's that you got?" Pete looked down, "Nemo?! Here, give him here, I'll go put him in the flower vase."

"Grr!" Chloe grunted, "I told you so!!!" she spat out, "I told all of you so!!" She looked at Pete, "I told you so." she then looked at Lana, "I told you so." then at Hermione, "I told you so." "You didn't tell me anything, if you -" Hermione began, but Chloe cut her off. "I told you so." she said to Harry, then to Ron "I told you so." then to Frodo, "I told you so." And finally to Sam, "I told you so!!" "Chloe, saying 'I told you so' to everyone isn't helping much." Lana said impatiently. "Ah!!! But I told you so!! Didn't I?!" Chloe cried. "Yes, maybe you did, not that I remember, but -" Lana began, but Clark interrupted. "My dearest Frodo Baggins! My one true love! I have found you at last my hairy-foot friend!" Clark cried out in joy as he ran over to Frodo, knocking the poor hobbit down in the process. Somehow or another, the ring flew off Frodo's neck and off the chain! "Oh no!" Lana whispered. She dived onto the ground and landed on her back. The ring was falling... she lifted her right hand up... her rude finger sticking up in the air, waiting... calling... for the ring. Her eyes widened in a look of fresh panic as her mouth curled into a look of constipation. "No...o...o...o...o...." she cried in the deep, slow motion voice. "Lana, you don't have to speak like that." Chloe commented, but it was too late, Lana disappeared out of sight just as the evil ring slipped onto her finger. "Oh my gawd, Lana!!" Chloe panicked. "The ring has taken her over. The eye shall turn to her." Frodo said monotonously. "Shut up Frodo, just shut up!! Go eat some of your hobbit bread! My friend is gone because of that stupid ring!!" Chloe cried. Meanwhile... in the land of Lana... Lana looked around, everything was blurry and grey and it seemed windy. What was this place she had gotten to? She turned her head the other way and the she saw it... the eye, glaring at her in an orange blaze. It was calling for the ring... it was sucking the ring towards it. "No..." Lana tried to cry out, she used her left hand to jerk the treacherous ring off. "Lana!" Chloe said breathlessly and in relief at the sight of her friend. "Man, we thought we'd lost you." Pete smiled. "Well thank God we haven't." Hermione added.

"The eye... it wants it." Lana said, half in a trance. "Well of course it does!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "Frodo, my love, do not fear! Clark will rescue you!" Clark cried out, before running over to the dear hobbit. "We have to do something about him." Lana sighed. "Well I told you so, didn't I?!" Chloe smirked. "No, you didn't." Lana disagreed. "Yes, I did, I told you so." Chloe looked uneasy. "Whatever Chloe, we have to fix Clark." Lana sighed again. "Ah! Get him off me, Sam!" Frodo cried as a spelled Clark tried to hug him. Sam began to lunge at Clark with his sword, but it didn't seem to cut through. "What -?" Lana asked, "Stop that, you're going to hurt him!" she insisted, running over and grabbing the sword off Sam. Suddenly, a poof was heard from behind and everyone turned around. "Mr Potter!" Professor McGonagall said sternly, "Mr Weasley and Ms Granger!" Harry gulped, "Professor." he mumbled. "Do you know how worried we have all been? I expected better of you Ms Granger." Professor McGonagall sighed. Hermione nodded her head down in guilt, "I'm sorry Professor, my friend... she needed my help." "You have broken the school rules and shall be expelled if it happens again! Now come on." "Bye Lana." Hermione frowned as the three of them poofed off with Professor McGonagall. Everyone left was silent for a moment. "This is a mess." Pete finally said, "I'm gonna head off, c'mon Snoopy." Snoopy trudged along behind Pete, "Oh and... Nemo's in that flower vase in case you didn't know." Lana nodded, what a day this was turning out to be. She stared at Clark hugging Frodo. Something had to be done! She just hoped things would resolve themselves... and soon. ******************************************* Chloe broke down onto the ground as she gawked at Clark and Frodo, "I told you so!" she screamed, "I told you soooo...." she sobbed.

"What's wrong Chloe?" Lana asked, feeling calmed down all of a sudden. "It's just..." she motioned to Frodo and Clark, "Clark's in love with my best friend! I told you so!!" "Chloe, you have to calm down. Why is this affecting you so much, anyway?" Lana asked curiously. Chloe quickly got up and pretended to brush carpet dirt off her shirt, "It's not." Lana raised her eyebrows, "Ok..." "Well I'm going to go... up... there... now." Chloe grinned and ran up the stairs, "I told you so!!" she screamed down one more time. Lana shrugged. "Frodo, I think you and Sam should go now. Clark can stay here tonight." Lana offered to the two hobbits. "What do you think we've been trying to do? Get away from him! He wants the ring, I tell you, he wants it!!" Frodo cried. Lana walked towards them, "Get... off... Clark!" she tried to pull Clark away from the poor hobbit. "But he is my love, I cannot part from him!" Clark looked up at Lana desperately. "Please Clark, this is just absurd. I shouldn't have gotten Hermione to cast that spell on you." Lana regretted. "It doesn't matter now. It has brought to me and found me my Frodo love." Clark grinned. "I don't care!" Lana spat out for no reason, "I just don't care anymore." she retreated over to the couch, completely devastated. Suddenly, she heard a small whisper behind her. "Psst." Lana turned around, "Hermione!" she blurted out. "Sssh... be quiet." Hermione looked around nervously, "I'm not supposed to be here. Harry and Ron are keeping guard back at Hogwarts." "Ok, then are you ok, what do you want?" Lana asked softly. Hermione looked over at Clark, then back to Lana, "I found the... well... I sort of found the reverse spell for this uh... that problem." she nodded her head over to Clark. "Well what is it? Can you cast it now? Fast? Quickly? Now would be good." Lana said impatiently. "It's not that easy, Lana." Hermione frowned disapprovingly, "I said I SORT OF got the reverse spell. I had to bribe someone to get it and even then he only gave me a clue." Hermione explained. "Who did you bribe?" Lana asked.

"It's a long story, don't worry anyway, that's not the point." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Then what is the point?" Lana raised her eyebrows. "Look, the clue's on here." Hermione got out a small piece of paper, "If you can figure it out, good, but I haven't had time to read it over yet, otherwise I would naturally be able to tell you exactly what to do, but I have to go now. Good luck, bye." Hermione disappeared in a poof. "Wait -" Lana began, but it was too late. She sighed and lifted the piece of paper up to eye level. "A simple act will do the trick, Can feel wondrous, make you sick, Yours against mine, close your eyes, Then kiss this love spell good bye." Lana read out loud. She bit her bottom lip, what did it all mean? She had never been too good with riddles, especially contradicting ones like this. Lana sighed, this was difficult. She'd never figure it out! She'd have to resort to the more desperate tactics. Lana got up and walked sternly over to Clark. She looked him directly in the eyes and spat out, "I love you, Clark!" Clark raised his eyebrows, he then smiled, "I love you too, Frodo!!!" he shouted joyously, hugging the hobbit tighter. "I've always loved you!" Lana kept on trying. Clark looked up at her. No reaction. "I want to be with you." Lana continued. No reaction. "I love you and I have feelings for you!" Lana cried out. No reaction. Lana sighed heavily, "Gawd Clark, what's the matter with you!? I'm declaring my undying love for you right now and you're gaping at me like I'm some mannikin! Don't you understand? I love you!" Lana was devastated to the point where she was almost in tears. But still... no reaction. "I want... I want..." Lana searched for more words, "I want to kiss you!" Then it hit her... kiss this love spell goodbye 'That's it!' she cried out in her head, 'kiss... literally!' Lana ran up to Clark instantly and planted a long, passionate kiss on his soft, inviting lips. Her eyes remained closed for a while. She was afraid to open them, afraid of what was coming next.

Very slowly, she opened her eyes... only to be met with Clark's. "Lana?" Clark asked confusedly, "What are you doing?" "N - nothing." Lana stuttered, quite dazed from kissing Clark Kent. "What just happened?" Clark looked around, scanning the room, "Where am I?" "Clark?" Lana asked. "How did I get from Crater Lake to here?" Clark scratched his head. Lana sighed relievingly in her head. He didn't remember a thing! That's luck for him! Lana smiled at Clark, "Come on, let's go watch the sunset, I'll fill you in." she said comfortingly, before taking Clark by the hand and leading him over to the loft. As she shared the happenings with Clark, the 'moment' came and they leaned in to give each other their first, true, perfect kiss. Clark promised never to fall in love with a fish OR a hobbit again and they both decided to help Nemo find his father the following day. "So who are you in love with now?" Lana asked, smiling sweetly. "I don't know, a catfish?" Clark teased. Lana stared at him, trying not to laugh. "Fine, I'm in love with someone very beautiful and she's standing right in front of me." Clark corrected himself. Lana smiled, before going on to kiss him passionately again. Spells weren't needed to bring them together. Their connection was already magical all along. And as they walked out of the loft hand in hand, the only thing running through their minds was, "Whew... what a day!"