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Rights of Parents, Responsibilities to Them, Rewards from Allah & Punishment of disobeying or disrespecting of Parents

Parents are a blessing from Allah, the Exalted, but their presence is often taken for granted and their rights, neglected especially when they grow old and become dependent on their children. Talking harshly and rudely to parents and showing discomfort on their requests have become a norm. Whereas Islam teaches obedience and kindness to parents, fulfilling their right, preserving their honor and warns against neglecting the rights of parents. Allah says: " fear Allah through whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (and do not cut of the relations of) the wombs (kinship)" [Al-Quran, Chapter 4 Verse 1] He, who fulfills the duties of his parents, has thus chosen a path to Paradise and he who neglects his duties towards his parents is truly deprived from a great opportunity to enter Paradise because obeying and honoring one's parents is a means of entering Paradise. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-salaam) said: "May his nose be rubbed in the dust, May his nose be rubbed in the dust, May his nose be rubbed in the dust." It was said, "Who, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "The person whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise (by rendering due services to them)." {(Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. [6510] 9 - (2551)} Responsibilities towards Parents If we really love our parents then we must follow what Allah said: 1. "... be dutiful and good to parents" (Al-Quran, Chap 2 Verse 83, Chap 6 Verse 151, Chap 29 Verse 8, Chap 31 Verse 14, Chap 46 Verse 15), 2. Worship Allh and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Maskin (the poor), the neighbor who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allh does not like such as are proud and boastful; (Al-Quran, Chapter 4 Verse 36) 3. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. (Al-Quran, Chapter 17, Verse 23) 4. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy (Al-Quran, Chap 17, Verse 24) 5. "Whatever you spend of good must be for parents" (Al-Quran, Chap 2 Verse 215) 6. "Allah forbids disobedience of parents" (Al-Quran Chap 16 Verse 90)

Rights of Parents Narrated Abu Usayd Malik ibn Rabi'ah as-Sa'idi: While we were with the Apostle of Allah! ( ) a man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Apostle of Allah is there any kindness or Honor left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, You can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions (pledge) after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honor their friends. [Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith No. 5142 (Hasan) Therefore, one of the things a person can do to honor them is to fulfill this will as long as it complies with the Shari`ah (Islamic law). Other ways of honoring parents is to give in Sadaqah (voluntary charity) on their behalf, make Du`a' (supplication) for them, and to perform Hajj and Umrah (Lesser Pilgrimage) on their behalf. May Allah grant us success. Pray to Almighty Allah for them by saying, 1. "Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established." (Al-Quran, chap 14, Verse 41) 2. "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young." (Al-Quran, Chap 17, Verse 24) 3. "My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents.. (Al-Quran Chap 71 Verse 28) We should pray for our parents either alive or deceased because Allah's Messenger Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: 'When a person is dead, his deeds cease (are stopped) except three: 1. Deeds of continuous Sadaqah (act of charity) 2. Knowledge with which mankind gets benefit 3. A righteous, pious son (or daughter) who will pray for his or her (for the deceased)" (Sahih Muslim, Book 13 Hadith No. 4005, or Darussalam Pub. No. 4223 or Sahih Muslim Hadith No. 1631)

One should remember that he and all his wealth belong to his father, as in known from the following Hadith. It was narrated from Jiibir bin 'Abdulliih that a man said: "0 Messenger of Allah, I have wealth and a son, and my father wants to take all my wealth." He said: "You and your wealth belong to your father." (Sahih) [Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 2291, 2292]

The most pleasant of what you eat is that out of what you earn; and your children are from your earnings. [Sahih Bukhari Hadith No. 407, Abu Dawud, Hadith No. 3528, Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1358, Nasai, Hadith No. 4450, Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 2137] Serving your parents will be substitute for fighting in Allahs cause: Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr: A man said to the Prophet, "Shall I participate in Jihad?" The Prophet said, "Are your parents living?" The man said, "Yes." the Prophet said, "Do Jihad for their benefit." [Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 5972, or Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8, Book 73, Hadith 3] Duties of the Child towards his dead Parents 1) To avoid all means of saddening and displeasing one's parent is mandatory: It was narrated that 'Abdullah bin 'Amr said: "A man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: '0 Messenger of Allah, I have come seeking to go out in Jihad with you, seeking thereby the Face of Allah and the Hereafter. I have come even though my parents are weeping.' He said: 'Go back to them and make them smile as you have made them weep.'" (Hasan) [Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 2782]. So, the expiation of disturbing parents is doing the deeds that please them. 2) Making up their obligatory fasts: Aa'isha (radhi allahu anha) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Whoever dies and had any fasts outstanding, his heir should observe those fasts on his behalf." [Sahih Muslim, Hadith no. 1147] A woman came to Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) asking: "My mother has died and she had one month's fasting outstanding." He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said, "Do you not think that if she was in debt, you would pay it off for her?" She said, "Yes" He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "The debt owed to Allah is more deserving of being paid off." {Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. [2693] 154 - (1148)} 3) Fulfilling their vows of worship and Paying off their debts: It was reported from Ibn Abbas (radhi allahu anhu) that a woman from Juhaynah came to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) and said: "My mother vowed to go for Hajj, but she did not go for Hajj before she died. Should I do Hajj on her behalf?" He said, "Yes, do Hajj on her behalf. Do you not think that if your mother was in debt you would pay it off for her? Pay off the debt that is owed to Allah, for Allah is more deserving that what is owed to Him should be paid off." [Sahih Bukhari, Hadith No. 1852 or USC-MSA web (English), Vol. 3, Book 29, Hadith 77] 4) Maintaining ties with those whom they used to keep in touch with from relatives and friends. Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "The best of righteous deeds is for a man to keep in touch with his father's friends after he dies." (Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. [6513] 11 (2552) or Among the most dutiful of deeds is that a man nurture relations with the people his father was friends with (Sahih) (Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1903) 5) Being dutiful to the Maternal Aunt: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, The maternal aunt holds the same status as the mother (Sahih). Another chain from Ibn Umar, that a man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, O messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)! I was afflicted by a tremendous sin. Is there any repentance for me? He said: Do you have mother? He said: No. He said: Do you have any maternal aunts? He said: Yes. He said: Then be dutiful to them (Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1904)

The Biggest of the Great Sins: Narrated Abu Bakra (RA): Allah's Apostle (peace be upon him) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join partners in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents" (Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 74, Number 290 or Sahih Bukhari No. 6273 & 5976)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked about the great sins He ( (1) To join others in worship with Allah, (2) To be undutiful to one's parents.

) said, "They are:

(3) To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murdering). (4) And to give a false witness" (Sahih Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 48, Number 821 or Sahih Bukhari No. 2653)

The Deeds are the Best: Narrated Ibn Masu'd: A man asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him): "What deeds are the best?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) said; (1) To perform the (daily compulsory) Salat (prayers) at their (early) stated fixed times; (2) To be good and dutiful to one's own parents (3) and to participate in Jihad in Allah's Cause." (Sahih AI-Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 10, Number 505 or Sahih Bukhari No. 527, Sahih Bukhari Vol. 9, Hadith No.625 or Sahih Bukhari No. 7534, Tirmidhi Hadith No. 1898) Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by us: Narrated Abu Huraira (RA): A man came to Allah's Apostle (peace be upon him): and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father." (Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 3658, Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Number 6180)

Rewards from Allah

The Prophet (peace and blessing of Allah be upon on him) said: "Whoever pleases his parents had indeed pleased Allah, and who ever angered his parents had indeed angered Allah" [Bukhari] [Tirmidhi Hadith No. 1899 (Hasan)] Narrated from Abu Ad-Darda, The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) saying: The father is the middle gate to paradise. So, if you wish, then neglect that door or protect it. (Hasan) (Tirmidhi hadith No. 1900, Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 3663) It was narrated from Muawiyah bin Jahimah As-Sulami, that Jahimah came to the Prophet and said: "O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your advice." He said: "Do you have a mother?" He said: "Yes." He said: "Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet." (Sahih) (Sunan An-Nasai, The Book of Jihad Hadith No. 3106)(Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith No. 2781) So how about your gate? Your parents if they are alive take care of them even if they are not Muslims Allah said you should take care of them and obey them except when they order you to disobey Allah if they did just keep your silence calmly and make duaa for them that Allah guide them in sha Allah. This is the time to renew your relation with Allah by taking care of your parents to please Allah even if they were not pleasing you for any reason; remember you have to please them for the sake of Allah. So give them love care and good company. Punishment of Allah It was narrated from Salim bin 'Abdullah that his father said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'There are three at whom Allah will not look on the Day of Resurrection: The one who disobeys his parents, the woman who imitates men in her outward appearance, and the cuckold. And there are three who will not enter Paradise: The one who disobeys his parents, the drunkard, and the one who reminds people of what he has given them. '" (Hasan) (Sunan An-Nasai, Hadith No. 2563) Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: "May his nose be rubbed in the dust, May his nose be rubbed in the dust, May his nose be rubbed in the dust." It was said, "Who, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "The person whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime but he does not enter Paradise (by rendering due services to them)." {(Sahih Muslim, Hadith No. [6510] 9 - (2551)}

Conclusion Important lessons: 1. Obedience to parents, serving and caring for them in their old age is obligatory on the child, just as the parents brought him up with love and care in his childhood, irrespective of whether the parents are believers or unbeliever. 2. Disobeying and neglecting the right of parents is incurring the Wrath of Allah and uttering words of disrespect to them is a major sin. 3. The child should prefer the pleasure of his parents over his own pleasure and the pleasure of his wife, children and all people except the Prophet 4. The child should obey his or her parents in all what they order him or her to do or not to do, even when what they demand is not suitable in their children's opinion, unless they command to disobey Allah, the Exalted 5. The child should willingly and with a good heart grant his parents what he thinks they like or prefer even before they ask for it, all the while feeling and admitting that he has not reached perfection in fulfilling the tremendous rights on him We should remember that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Three supplications are accepted, there is no doubt in them (about them being accepted): The supplication of the oppressed, the supplication of the traveler, and the supplication of the father against his son. (Hasan) [Jami At-Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1905] So, if obedience and kindness to our parents only brings their invoking Allah, it will be worthy and sufficient of directing us to eternal happiness, Insha'Allah. The above is only a reminder and advice to all those who possess wisdom and sound comprehension to realize the blessing of having parents, people who for years attended to your needs, hunger, thirst, illness, happiness, comfort and pleasure. When they reach old age and depend upon you, it is your duty to attend to their needs and pleasure and comfort them. "The Lord is pleased with the pleasing of the parents, and the Lord is angry with him who angers the parents." [Tirmidhi Hadith No. 1899 (Hasan)] So, take advantage of the opportunity to serve your parents before it is too late when you look at the chair that your mother or father used to recline in or the bed they used to sleep on but do not see them nor hear their affectionate voices. Let us pray to Almighty Allah that He guide us to be respectful, kind, and obedient to our parents, and that we continue to show them humility regardless of the power, position, wealth, and influence we may possess. Let us also pray that we be patient, kind, thoughtful, and friendly with our children, as we guide them through their lives, and that we discharge our responsibilities towards them as required by our religion, so that Allah may be pleased with us, and may He Bless and reward us, both in this world and in the Hereafter; Ameen. We ask Allah to guide all Muslims to that which pleases Him, to grant them good understanding of religion, to help them remain dutiful to their parents and keep good relations with their relatives, protect them from being disrespectful of them and from severing ties of relationship with their relatives and to keep them away from everything that incurs His displeasure and prevents His mercy. Allah Alone is One Who is capable of doing this.