WriteanEffectiveApplicationEssay

A great application essay will present a vivid, personal, and compelling view of you to the admission staff. It will round out the rest of your application and help you stand out from the other applicants. The essay is one of the only parts of your application over which you have complete control, so take the time to do a good job on it. Check out these tips before you begin. DOs Keep Your Focus Narrow and Personal Your essay must prove a single point or thesis. The reader must be able to find your main idea and follow it from beginning to end. Try having someone read just your introduction to see what he or she thinks your essay is about. Essays that try to be too comprehensive end up sounding watered-down. Remember, it's not about telling the committee what you've done -- they can pick that up from your list of activities -- instead, it's about showing them who you are. Prove It Develop your main idea with vivid and specific facts, events, quotations, examples, and reasons. There's a big difference between simply stating a point of view and letting an idea unfold in the details: DON'Ts Don't Tell Them What You Think They Want to Hear Most admission officers read plenty of essays about the charms of their university, the evils of terrorism, and the personal commitment involved in being a doctor. Bring something new to the table, not just what you think they want to hear. Don't Write a Resum Don't include information that is found elsewhere in the application. Your essay will end up sounding like an autobiography, travelogue, or laundry list. Yawn.

"During my junior year, I played first singles on the tennis team, served on the student council, maintained a B+ average, traveled to France, and worked at a cheese factory."

Okay: "I like to be surrounded by people with a variety of backgrounds and interests" Better: "During that night, I sang the theme song from Casablanca with a baseball coach who thinks he's Bogie, discussed Marxism with a little old lady, and heard more than I ever wanted to know about some woman's gall bladder operation."

Don't Use 50 Words When Five Will Do Eliminate unnecessary words.

Be Specific

Avoid clichd, generic, and predictable writing by using vivid and specific details.

Okay: "Over the years it has been pointed out to me by my parents, friends, and teachers -- and I have even noticed this about myself, as well -- that I am not the neatest person in the world." Better: "I'm a slob."

Don't Forget to Proofread Typos and spelling or grammatical errors can be interpreted as carelessness or just bad writing. Don't rely on your computer's spell check. It can miss spelling errors like the ones below.

Okay: "I want to help people. I have gotten so much out of life through the love and guidance of my family, I feel that many individuals have not been as fortunate; therefore, I would like to expand the lives of others." Better: "My Mom and Dad stood on plenty of sidelines 'til their shoes filled with water or their fingers turned white or somebody's golden retriever signed his name on their coats in mud. I think that kind of commitment is what I'd like to bring to working with fourth-graders."

"After I graduate form high school, I plan to work for a nonprofit organization during the summer." "From that day on, Daniel was my best fried."

This article is based on information found in The College Application Essay, by Sarah Myers McGinty.

The "You" Question

First Experience can be defining. A. Cite a first experience that you have had and explain its impact on you. B. Recall an occasion when you take a risk that you now know was right to do. Coming to the US from an ancient country at the other side of the globe, everything was so new to me at the beginning: different skin colors, different languages, different cultures, different styles of thinking However, the most striking thing to me in this new world is its well developed commodity exchange environment that is so different from that of my home country. While only a minority of people used internet in their life in China at the time, people here were already used to buying and selling on-line. I learnt from friends around me that there are too many on-line markets to count in the US and these markets are ever developing and getting more mature. By and by I became obsessed with the convenience and promptness of on-line trading and decided to try it myself.

I aimed my first on-line transaction at a brand-new laptop computer on sale on eBay. Its price of US$1900 was very attractive. I quickly checked the feedback of the seller and found it was 97 points. So I reckoned him as a trust-worthy guy. I contacted him via email. He stated his reasons to sell the laptop to me at such a low price and specially talked about his sympathy with the hard economic situation of a college student. I was deeply moved and this increased my confidence in him. Therefore, I didn't hesitate to remit to this guy US$1900 that I skimped and saved for quite some time and started to wait anxiously day after day for the laptop. However, it was all despair in the end. After such an unfortunate experience, many people would never turn to on-line trading again. But I was not a person to give up so easily and I love to meet head-on with challenges. I was determined to recover my loss and earn hundreds of times the sum I lost on eBay. Through one semester of study of the course "Microeconomics", I learnt that, based on the Price Discrimination theory, many types of the same products could be sold at a higher price on eBay UK and bring about a lucrative profit. So I started to buy in commodities at a relatively lower price on eBay UK and then resell them at a reasonably higher price. Before I found a stable partner, I searched for low price items everyday and then resold them at a good price. This was really toilsome and time-consuming. However, the payback is impressive, too. I earned US$3000 the first month and accumulated considerable points of feedback. I began to sell more and more varieties of products and became more and more like a shrewd businessman. I used the computer programming tools I learnt and the service of an auction webpage design company that was popular in the States and made my advertisements on eBay UK more eye-catching. Because of this, I beat one competitor after another and established a monopoly over the market of many products. My supply of products could no longer meet demands and I realized I should no longer buy in small quantities from different sellers. I must find a stable source of supply of commodities. Finally, I found a supplier with 700 points of feedback. Our trade volume increased from the initial US$1000 to US$4000. Commodities arrived on time. With this stable source of supply, my daily profit grew from zero to US$500. However, at my largest order of US$9000, the supplier abruptly disappeared from the horizon. No reply of email came. The phone was switched off. I lost my hard-earned money again. However, I was not knocked down by this. I still believed I would manage to earn ten times more if I lost US$2000 and hundreds times more if I lost US$10000. Standing up after falling down, falling down again and standing up again, I discovered with ecstasy that I was already in love with the mysterious science of economics. Its multifarious theories have high practical values and only he who has brought them under their reign can ride on the crest of waves and make rapid headway in the roaring sea of commerce and make himself an outstanding businessman. I believe with your prestigious reputation and position in the field of economics, you will be able to help me - student who started his own business at the age of 19 - to march toward success just as you helped many others become celebrities in this field.

The "Why Us" Question

Why did You Choose Yale (500 English words) University attracts me greatly with its long-standing culture, which is completely proved by the long history of Yale University. In China, Yale University enjoys a high reputation in people's mind for a long time. Especially for my well-educated parents, they respect and admire it greatly because for them Yale represents reconditeness, solemnity, elegance and creativity. In Yale University, the first-rate scholars, excellent students, sincere academic attitude and great achievements in scientific research constitute the rich culture that is insurmountable for all other universities. Bringing up under such influence, I gradually realize Yale's incomparable position inside of me. Yale University is known for its emphasis on the spirit of communication and cooperation. When I received the bulletin from Yale University, I was greatly impressed by the pictures and the phrases that stressed highly on communication, interaction and intimacy in study. Therefore, I chose Yale University as my first and foremost choice without any hesitation. As far as I know, there exist violent competitions among the world-known universities in USA. Different from them, Yale University pays more attention to cooperation. Though competition is vital, cooperation is necessary. However, in China, the malignant competitions are brought out for lack of cooperation within companies, within which numerous companies suffer from internecine damages. I believe I will definitely benefit from the cooperative spirit in Yale University that collect students from various culture backgrounds and learn well enough to fulfill my wish of contribution to the development of my country. I dream to be a person capable of professional management, in which communication is compulsory because management is actually achieved by the communication between the superior and the inferior in a company. The success of management depends on whether the communication works or not. I am good at communication and cooperation judging from my personalities. Serving as an organizer of the activities both in class and in school, I involve extensively various social activities. From these activities, I not only learn the importance of communication and cooperation but also practice my communicative abilities and foster the spirit of teamwork. Yale University seems to be a palace for me full of elites from all over the world. The three languages I have well mastered will definitely help me live harmoniously a communal life there. If I am accepted luckily, instead of confining myself within the classroom, I will get in touch with society extensively. Being a member of community in the university, I will actively take part in all activities to enrich my extracurricular life. Yale University is no doubt the top university in the world, however I am confident that I will become one of the best students with my everexcellent performance in study and high learning ability as well.

How to Write a Statement of Purpose

I. Basic Outline Format for Essay
** Say what you want to do ... do it ... say what you have done ** A. Introduction and thesis statement ( Say what you want to do ) 1. Before writing an essay you must have a thesis statement. This is one sentence announcing the central idea of the paper. It must be specific. This statement should sum up the basic meaning of the essay and signal to the reader what to expect. 2. The first sentence is the most important one because it get's the reader's attention. 3. The first paragraph (introduction) is very important. It should "hook" the reader, ie make him or her want to continue reading. B. The body of the paper ( Do it ) 1. Each paragraph should deal with one central idea. This idea is introduced early in a topic sentence, telling the reader what to expect in the paragraph. Several ideas in one paragraph will only confuse the reader.If the central idea has several supporting points, break it into several paragraphs rather than having one very long paragraph. 2. It is not enough to simply state ideas, you must support them. By giving evidence, you convince readers of the truth and accuracy of your ideas. If you successfully prove your statements, the reader should agree with your conclusion. 3. As a writer, you must structure the sequence of ideas carefully and logically. You are mapping a course, leading the reader through the points that support your thesis. You do not want to confuse the reader.Transitions between paragraphs link them together logically. These "connecting sentences" keep the paper flowing smoothly. Ex. The man was sick, and my father was mortified that he could not help him because he did not speak English. Due to my father's experience, I vowed to learn a foreign language fluently. C. Conclusion ( Say what you have done) 1. Restates the thesis and main points supporting it. In the conclusion, the writer should give some new ideas or information to challenge the reader to think further.

II. Writing the Statement of Purpose

** "Graduate schools and competitive undergraduate programs want students who are able to think clearly, without confusion. The statement of purpose will demonstrate, fortunately or unfortunately, whether you possess that quality. When one reads a proposal that is poorly organized, filled with EXTRANEOUS details, and foggily focused, one gets the immediate impression that the mind that produced such confusion can never be disciplined enough to regard facts objectively and present them logically." ** A. Step One: Know Yourself With the statement of purpose you can persuade the admissions committee to accept you. In order to convince them, you must be convinced yourself. You must be sure of what you want, why you want it, and why that particular program can help you. Why should the school select you over someone else? YOU MUST KNOW YOURSELF. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Before beginning to write, think. Review your intellectual and personal development over your academic career. When you can clearly articulate the history that led you to decide to apply to a particular American program, you are ready to begin writing. B. Step Two: An Outline 1. This does not need to be written in complete sentences. The outline below is just an example. The points you want to discuss can be in a different order, as long as you have an introduction, body, and conclusion. You need to decide what order of ideas is the best for your essay. You want the strongest and most logical essay that you can write.

2. EXAMPLE
I. Introduction: State your goals II. Body of the Paper A. Explain background (Prove that you are academically prepared for this study program) 1.Where and what studied 2.Past research/diploma project 3.If applying to a program in a different field of study, explain how skills learned in earning your degree can be applied to the new field. B. Description of professional goals 1.Why that field of study interesting/what influenced you to choose that field 2.Any related experience/research after university 3.Future plans after receiving degree

C. What and why study in graduate school 1.What your specific interests are in your field 2.Why this program is needed for your professional development 3. Why US 4. Why that particular university -- courses, faculty, research projects/facilities III. Conclusion A. Summing up the main points B. What you can contribute to the program Ex. Growing up in Siberia during the period of perestroika has given me first hand exposure to the transition from a command to a capitalistic economy. C. Step Three: Writing the Statement If you have done a good job with steps one and two, the writing should come easily. Keep the following points in mind: 1.The first sentence is the most important one. You want the reader's attention. 2.Cut out any sentences that are not absolutely necessary. Every sentence should be important and clearly stated. Most points can be made without a lot of necessary background. 3.Be self-confident. Frame everything positively. Use phrases such as "actively participated in" rather than "although I was only an assistant". Even if your English is horrible, do NOT tell them. Your TOEFL scores will indicate your English ability. Do not write any negative statements. 4.They are looking to see if your background and expectations match with what they offer. The more specific you can be with each institution you are applying to, the more convincing you will be. 5.If written correctly, the statement of purpose should show that you are goal-oriented, that you can identify what you want, and that you have taken steps to obtain those goals.

I II. Different Programs

The emphasis in your statement of purpose depends on where you are applying. A. Undergraduate Program Put emphasis on you as a whole person, not just academic ability. They are looking for a well-rounded person who will adapt well into the school's social as well as academic community. Be sure to mention sports, volunteer activities, dance or music lessons, hobbies, etc. B. Graduate School The emphasis here is on scholarship and your research interests. While you want to come through as a person, you want to focus on those aspects of your personality that relate to your intellectual and academic interests and goals. C. Grants, Fellowships, and Scholarships What you include in your essay should depend on the purpose of the scholarship. Whom does the organization want to support? a. If it is a women's organization, emphasize how your goals relate to you as a woman. b. If it is a scientific organization, explain your scientific achievments and future goals. c. If the fellowship is for a business program, your work experience in the business world will be more important than your university coursework. D. Internships a. Emphasize practical work experience. You want to include your academic accomplishments, but this is secondary. It does not have to be paid work; organizations, committee work, and classroom projects at the university are also important. b. Demonstrate how that internship will help further your professional goals. c. Highlight the qualities that make you right for that job. If the job involves sales, you want to stress your ability to get along with people. If the job involves research, emphasize your powers of concentration and persistence.

IV. Final Comments

A. Be honest. Be confident and positive without being pushy or demanding. B. There is a saying, "Nothing good is ever written, it is re-written". No one ever writes a perfect first draft. C. Do not be discouraged if you are not accepted. Be constructive and analyze the possible reasons for your rejection. Could your statement of purpose have been stronger? Are your academic qualifications strong enough for that program? Maybe it really is not the right program for your goals.

D. Another saying is, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again". If you really want to study in the US, look into other programs. If you were rejected from a school that you feel is really the best for you, improve your weak points, work on new projects that show you are serious about your goals, and reapply, do this.