Speaking to the Future: Piecing Together Intention in a Social Setting

A paper presented for the Doctor of Ministry Class, The Congregation as a Learning Community RE-60 , !rofessors De"orah #$ %app and M$ &usan 'arlo(, )ritten "y &tuart D$ &mith at McCormic* Theological &eminary Introduction Frank Browning in his book The Culture of Desire analyses the stresses in the search for meaning and continuity in American life and in the gay subculture particularly. It is always difficult for a person who has been separated--often violently--from traditional modes of understanding family and community relatedness to step beyond being an isolated individual with no obligations or attachments and embrace the concept of a continuing community whether based on blood or affiliation. Browning refers to this struggle as the process of "reconstructing the extended family" !""#$ !%#-!&"'. (e chronicles several examples of gay men and lesbians attempting sometimes unsuccessfully to create new ways of connecting to human family when the biological family cannot or will not work for them. )ven more obvious than the struggle of gay men and lesbians to discover or create community$ is the struggle of being a teenager. (ealthy adolescence is a time of "killing the biological family" to paraphrase Freud'. A young adult develops a healthy sense of self only as she or he differentiates from *om and +ad--often with great pain. It is a time of re,ecting a previous place in ones- family and hopefully finding a new way of relating to it. .af/ 0ride is a setting where the problems of developing appropriate gay culture must be addressed. 1e have a responsibility to press for the development of a life-giving culture for gay$ lesbian$ bisexual$ and transgender people. But it is also a setting where young men and women between the ages of !2 and 3! our average age is !".&' struggle with adolescence. Additionally$ although less central$ is the racial$ ethnic$ and religious diversity that the youth and adult staff at this site are trying to incorporate into this new culture. 4he ma,ority of our youths are from families of divorce$ most are from working- or middle-class backgrounds$ and a few work the neighborhood as prostitutes coming into the coffeehouse to get warm and en,oy a little company. 5ike most ministries$ we are striving to teach and be a culture that none of us has seen anywhere before$ but that all of us crave. The Current Situation In late summer$ a game of ".elebrities" like .harades but with several additional twists' demonstrated the failure of the coffeehouse-s current culture to connect our youths to their community-s history and issues. A short unpleasant outburst occurred when the frustrations of the youth at the staff-s ignorance of pop 46 and music names and the adult staff-s frustration at the youths- ignorance of current politics and gay lesbian history collided. 4he adult staff had expectations about common knowledge$ values$ and responsibility that may have been unrealistic for a group of teens. But since that same month saw two violent attacks against gay young people within our block$ and the highly publici7ed murder of *atthew 8hepard in 1yoming$ we felt that we could not shrug off this ignorance of gay history and community among our youth patrons. 1e felt it was important that enculturation at .af/ 0ride provide

history$ heroines$ and heroes from the gay past. It wasn-t enough to know the names of the cartoon characters on "8outh 0ark." But we also reali7ed that our direct approach sounded too much like a history or current-events class. 4o use *aria (arris-s terms$ the youth were not ready for leiturgia and were bored stiff by traditionally understood didache and *erygma$ 1e opted$ conse9uently$ for a combination of *oinonia and dia*onia !":"'. Problems with the Current Situation 0aulo Freire$ in his emphasis on conscienti7ation !"2:$ !3#-3&'$ has taught us that every community must recogni7e the discontinuity between the ideal moral and ,ust world and the real immoral and un,ust world before that community will gain the ability to address the wrongs they suffer. It is not enough to want to end the suffering; one must become conscious of the suffering as more than ,ust a personal misfortune but as systemic evil before one can act in such a way as to change the wrongs. I must admit that in a previous paper I stated that our youths already were fully aware of the wrongs done to them. I was wrong. 4heir ignorance of issues and in,ustice surprised me. )ven such obvious issues as the lack of a safe$ legal place for teenage men and women of any orientation to sociali7e was understood as a personal inconvenience and not as a larger issue of in,ustice. 4heir pains and unhappinesses are most often owned only as personal experiences and not as shared experiences within the community of young people. *any of them saw the *atthew 8hepard murder and the (alsted 8treet attacks as personal misfortunes and not as indirect attacks on them and all like them. I recogni7e that I am showing my age$ but I was troubled by the energy invested in arguments about the relative virtues of the 8pice <irls and the (ansens. 4hese musical groups were hot in =uly and August but by this writing are apparently on the discount rack.' 1hile$ current political events were pass/ as soon as they happened. *y criti9ue is that this flaw in the current enculturation was ultimately not a problem of lack of factual knowledge. >ur youth patrons don-t need more facts about 8apho$ Bayard ?ustin$ or 4he 8tonewall ?iots. 4he problem was one of affective learning. 4hey needed to value the larger community and to hope for its future. It is not a problem of factual knowledge; it is a problem of valuing something outside of oneself--a problem of insularity and selfcenteredness. Piecing Together a New Meaning 4o address the problem I attempted to put together a pro,ect that would foster community and provide an opportunity for service. 1e are now in the process of creating an art pro,ect to communicate with the next generation of .af/ 0ride youth. 1e are piecing together a 9uilt of cloth panels that the .af/ 0ride patrons and staff will have painted$ appli9u/d$ or somehow decorated to show the one or two images that each wants to pass on to the next generation of sexual minority youth. It will be a connection to the culture of the church where we are meeting$ a connection to the community of gay youth including those who are yet to attend .af/ 0ride$ and a way to build community through a ,oint service pro,ect. In .af/ 0ride-s home$ the 0arish (ouse at 5ake 6iew 0resbyterian .hurch$ there hangs a 9uilt that was constructed by the patrons of the church-s senior center. It was a pro,ect that =oy +ouglas 8trome assisted the seniors to complete in !""@ when she was a 8eminary Assistant at that church. =oy is currently the pastor at 5ake 6iew and has shared with the

.af/ 0ride staff and a few of the youth patrons the stories around that 9uilt. It started as a pro,ect ,ust to keep the older folks occupied and alert. It developed into a source of pride with some seniors still around today to point out their personal panel. 4he seniors regularly have "art" pro,ects$ but this may be the only pro,ect with which they are uniformly proud. It is also the most obvious non-disposable art pro,ect the seniors have completed. 0ro,ects which are disposable and which do not lend themselves to being sources of pride to their makers can encourage acceptance of the dominant "throw away" culture. *any people$ of all ages$ feel that their efforts are not valued and that they themselves are often discarded has-beens. A pro,ect that can be displayed proudly for years and that can be successful even without rare professional skills communicates that the effort of the artisans is valuable and not ,ust busy work. .onstruction paper and glitter pro,ects are discarded week after week. 4he 9uilt stays. 4he youths at .af/ 0ride were given the pro,ect of finding images or messages that they could put on a ten-inch by ten-inch s9uare of cloth. 1hen we have 3# panels$ we will stitch them together$ 9uilt them$ and present the end result to the congregation$ which--through =oy--has been clued to what we are doing and has already selected a section of wall which we can use. 4he 9uestion that we have been giving the youths as they are given a s9uare of paper to begin sketching a design is$ "1hat would you like to put on this 9uilt to communicate to the youths who will be in .af/ 0ride after you have passed your twenty-second birthday and are no longer hereA" 8ome of the .af/ 0ride patrons admit to feeling that they don-t really belong in any "straight" institution--that even when they are included it is a tenuous thing and that they can be kicked out at any time. 5ike the seniors they often feel insecure in the larger community. It is a source of comment and occasionally some discomfort to have the congregation and the pastor know that they are there. +o they really want us or do they merely tolerate usA >ne of the older members of the session$ a seventy-something year old straight man$ regularly visits the coffeehouse. (is presence is uncomfortable to some of the youths$ but to others it is a part of the building of community *oinonia'$ a testimony that the congregation knows who we are and that we are in the church. (is visits$ the pastor-s visits$ and now the prospect of having a permanent art display in this mostly "straight" congregation-s public space and the assumption that that space will be available to gay youths for years to come communicates a culture of acceptance and a new kind of community more effectively than any traditional *erygma or didachecould. *uch as have the large mass of "unchurched" young Americans$ these youths have avoided association with "regular" religious institutions$ not because they don-t believe in <od or because they don-t wish to be a part of a faith community$ but because they do not feel welcome. 4hey do not feel "heard" 8teward !"::$ :3-:#'. 4he youths who now feel comfortable when they enter 5ake 6iew 0resbyterian .hurch to attend .af/ 0ride are not responding to the rituals$ symbols$ history$ heritage or demographics of that congregation. 4hese lesbian and gay teens feel they belong because of the congregation-s culture .arroll$ +udley and *cBinney !":2$ 3!-#2'. 4hey come not because someone told them that the church-s culture included a belief in hospitality$ but because they saw it acted out 0ineda !""C$ 3"-#3' in this case through the inclusion of the seniors and their 9uilt. A church that welcomes seniors$ which have been discarded by the larger society$ is demonstrating a culture that teaches these youths that they can feel secure in the welcome offered them as well.

4he 9uilt is most obviously a way to connect with the community of gay people across time because it is a way of communicating to the youths who will come through .af/ 0ride after these artists are grown and have moved on. It is also a good pro,ect to bring the youths together in a combined service pro,ect. 5ike all service pro,ects$ in addition to the value of the service provided it is a great way to build community as the youths share ideas and techni9ues and materials sitting around the tables working on their panels. Learning from the Pro ect 4he things I learned from this pro,ect fit into several categoriesD how important racial issues still are$ how important "constructed" extended families are$ how different ages communicate different messages$ and how hard it is to communicate a reality that you don-t entirely grasp.

4he first image to be completed and turned in by a .af/ 0ride patron was of two hands clasping$ one pink and one brown. I had expected to see more obvious gay and lesbian themes in the first few designs. I expected to see pink triangles$ rainbows$ gender symbols$ and lambdas 4he fact that race was the first thing considered caught me off guard. .af/ 0ride is integrated with a good mix of races and religious traditions. I have never noticed any serious stresses between the youths of different races. I believe$ however$ that the reason race would feature in the first image is that the difficulty of integration and cooperation across races is more readily discussed among these youths and their friends. 8ince the artist in 9uestion is also an African-American male$ I expect there have been enough issues for him that sometimes acceptance across racial lines is a bigger issue than his orientation. It may also be a personal statement since his boyfriend is =ewish. Although the artist may merely have wanted to show a union between different types of people and race was the easiest difference to draw$ in my brief discussion with this artist$ I have come to believe that race is still a greater divide than orientation for many of these youths because all of them understand that they can "pass" as "straight" in the larger society but that passing as "white" is a great deal more difficult and even when possible re9uires more obvious self-censorship. 0erhaps race is still a bigger divide than sexual orientation. Another design that has not been completed but which the artist has described to me is a .+ attached to the cloth with the song "Family" on it. 4his is from a young man who is living with his uncle because his mother and father threw him into the street at sixteen him when he came out to them. 1e talked about the song and the importance it has for him and afterwards I wasn-t sure he was talking about the song at all. In fact the staff members listening to him were unsure whether he meant the song from the musical "+reamgirls" or one of the several other songs with similar names. 1hat the young man had communicated was his valuing of family even when of the "constructed" variety. (e wasn-t talking about a song; he wasn-t even really talking about being gay; he was talking about the importance of a family where you can always belong. 4his is not a new learning for me but the strength of this truth still surprised me--belonging is more important than sex. Following the legend of the construction of the seniors- 9uilt on the west wall of the parish hall$ we have chosen to allow our adult staff to create panels if they wish to and if there is enough

space. 4hey tend to choose very different images than our youth patrons. ?ed ribbons$ signifying (I6EAI+8 awareness$ and pink triangles$ remembering the sexual minority persons who have died at the hands of their government$ are more evident in the design of the older artists. For the younger artists the emphasis seems to be on personal relatedness and romantic love while for the older artist it seems to be protection from the crises that disrupted their younger years as a gay or lesbian person. It may also be that our older staff are less creative and are using commonplace gay images$ but I doubt that. It seems to be that the biggest hope for the future for our young patrons is to live with a lover while the biggest hope for the future for the older staff is to live without the threat of disease or governmental oppression. 4his learning perhaps should have been self evident the young value community for the surrounding love it offers; the older value community for the protection it offers. I learned that even though not every youth wants to participate in this pro,ect$ it is still beginning to change the culture of the place. Apart from those who might think it is a lame endeavor$ we have youths who don-t have anything to say to those who are coming after them or who at least have little idea of how to say what they want to pass on. I am still trying to figure out what is occurring in these cases. I fear that some of these youths do not feel enough security in the present to consider the future. But the conversations particularly the salacious ones about needing to make the 9uilt "<-rated" when the things they want to say are "F-rated" reveal that some of the youths still struggle to find and communicate a gay identity that goes beyond sexual activity. 4his is sparking an interesting set of discussions. Is there a gay identity aside from sexA >ne of our youths is a student at +e 0aul considering the ?oman .atholic priesthood. 4he discussion of celibacy while not denying orientation or sexuality is now a regular feature of our Friday nights. In the !"2@-s and !"C@-s$ =ohn ?echy a former male prostitute from the streets of .hicago wrote several books about embracing the outlaw designation that the larger society pressed on sexual minority persons e.g. The &e+ual ,utla(- A Documentary !"CC' but now only a few puritans and pornographers embrace that strawman. *ost of the attacks on the gay community today are directly related to the attempt to move from outlawry to the mainstream Browning !""#$ !#3'. It is gay spousal benefits$ gay union ceremonies$ and gay adoptions that excite current vituperation. But these are less exciting to our teen patrons than the visions of promiscuity that once characteri7ed gay identity. *any of our young men seem to have no real interest in a gay identity that sounds ,ust like what *om and +ad have. 4he learning here is that there is still much discussion to come about what if anything makes lesbian and gay people different. 4he 9uestion then remains. 1ill there be such a thing as a gay community for the generation to receive our 9uiltA 4o twist the title of =ohn Fortunato-s well known book$ what ministry will we have to offer the larger community when we have no exile to embraceA Conclusion In !""!$ 8amuel 8teward$ a man who had taught )nglish at +e 0aul during the !"2@-s and then dropped out of academia to become a local tattoo artist and writer of gay pornography and social commentary$ published a book based on his observations of the gay underworld entitled .nderstanding the Male 'ustler$ (is thesis was that money has almost nothing to do with prostitution in the homosexual community. 4he hustlers who lounged in front of the Gewberry 5ibrary as =ohn 1ayne <acy cruised them twenty-five years ago and the youths who work the corner of (alsted and 1aveland and then walk down the alley to .af/ 0ride today have in common a craving for more than money. 4hey want to belong$ not ,ust

tosomeone but to the community as a whole. It is a craving that makes a welcoming church and a place of hospitality like .af/ 0ride desirable. It is also what leads them to risk arrest and occasionally death. 4he new culture that we are trying to teach at .af/ 0ride is an attempt to address that disconnectedness and to provide a link to the future. 1hat we are trying to piece together in our curriculum is more than a 9uilt. 1e are trying to construct a culture that encourages community and connects these youths to the future$ to one another and to supportive institutions such as 5ake 6iew 0resbyterian .hurch. %oinonia$ what *aria (arris calls the "not yet reali7ed reality" !":"$ :@' should be the center of the curriculum at .af/ 0ride. Got ,ust the community of those who can name the 8pice <irls or even those who can recite lines from gay-themed Broadway plays$ but community created by a culture of inclusion$ a culture that values and preserves input$ a culture that connects to the future. !ibliograph" Browning$ Frank. The Culture of Desire- !arado+ and !er/ersity in 0ay Li/es Today$ Gew HorkD 6intage Books$ !""#. .arroll$ =ackson 1.$ .arl 8. +udley$ and 1illiam *cBinney. (andbook for .ongregational 8tudies. GashvilleD Abingdon 0ress$ !":2. Fortunato$ =ohn. Em"racing the E+ile. Gew HorkD 8eabury 0ress$ !":3. Freire$ 0aulo. !edagogy of the ,ppressed. Gew HorkD 8eabury 0ress$ !"C#. (arris$ *aria. 1ashion Me a !eople- Curriculum in the Church$5ouisvilleD 1estminsterE=ohn Bnox$ !":". 0ineda$ Ana *aria. "(ospitality" in +orothy .. Bass$ ed. !racticing ,ur 1aith- A )ay of Life for a &earching !eople$ 8an FranciscoD =ossey-Bass 0ublishers$ !""C. ?echy$ =ohn. The &e+ual ,utla(- A Documentary. Gew HorkD <rove 0ress$ !"CC. 8teward$ +avid 8. "1hy +o 0eople .ongregateA" in .. )llis Gelson$ ed. Congregations- Their !o(er to 1orm and Transform$AtlantaD =ohn Bnox$ !"::. 8teward$ 8amuel *. .nderstanding the Male 'ustler. Gew HorkD (arrington 0ark 0ress$ !""!.