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The
A

Blessed
THE ROLE OF THE BLESSING
selfish and self-centered. She is not engrossed in herself. If a woman does not watch it in our days and times, she can easily get caught up and consumed by her world. She can get consumed by how she looks, how she feels, what she wants. It seems that is what the media keeps promoting. The message is loud and clear, that to get ahead, you need to make yourself your only priority. The virtuous woman is however not like that. She seeks the good of others. To be an exceptional woman, you need to be like that. You must seek to add value to others.
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LADY with the most beautiful body, the prettiest dress, great make-up, fine jewelery, shoes and bags is not necessarily an example of the exceptional woman. In our theme scripture (Proverbs 31), the Queenmother explains to her son that the inner virtue of a woman is what determines her worth. Then, she makes a list of these virtues. The first element is seen in verse ten: Who can find a virtuous wife? Her worth is far above rubies Proverbs 31:10 Priceless, that is what the Blessing makes you to be. The Blessing gives you incalculable monetary, intellectual and spiritual worth. It brings substance into your life.

We can also see that the Proverbs 31 woman The has socio-economic abilities. She is an Blessing Gives enterprising person. She is diligent; she The second thing the Bible says about does not loaf round. Verse twenty-seven You (The Woman) the blessed woman is that she adds says she does not eat of the bread of value to the lives of the people in idleness. She seeks wool and flax, and Incalculable Monetary, relationship with her. The heart of willingly works with her hands. She is Intellectual And Spiritual like the merchants ships; she brings her her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does food from afar. Worth. It Brings him good and not evil all the days of her She also rises while it is yet night, life. Proverbs 31:11-12 and provides food for her household Substance Into Your and a portion for her maidservants. She Life. Although this passage does not only considers a field and buys it; from her profit
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apply to married women, we see the virtuous woman here in a marital situation. She is in a relationship with her husband, but she is not only looking for what he would do for her; she also looks for what to do for him. The world has made many women believe that it is alright to be demanding. We have come to think that the only way to know if a man loves us is to make him give us material things. It is true that you should be concerned if a man claims to love you, but does not give you anything. However, a blessed woman wants to give something. She seeks to add value to the man she is married to, and also to the other people that have relationships with her. She seeks to give advantage and not take advantage of people in her relationships. She is not

she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:13-14

There is an adage that says, A mans work is from dawn to dusk, but a womans work is never done. Although a woman should make time to rest, she should not enjoy idleness. She should not be focused on just having fun and enjoying her life. She should aim to make her life count. The virtuous woman in this passage makes her life count. She is industrious. She makes the most of every opportunity afforded her. In fact, she does not just wait for opportunities; she seeks them out. She makes good business decisions. The Bible does not say she just buys a field; it says she examines a field before buying it. Recognizing good opportunities is a large part of business. She does not just jump at every opportunity. She is not a flaky

Woman!
IN THE LIFE OF A WOMAN
person who gets involved in every new business in town. Not every new business is your business. There are some things you ought to consider and there are some things you just ought to leave alone. The virtuous woman is very wise and selective in the businesses that she gets involved in. She considers a business proposition, and when she makes up her mind, she executes it. The Bible tells us that her business ventures yield profit, the virtuous woman knows how to make money. The fact that you are a woman does not mean you cannot get involved in profitable endeavors. This is a woman who is a mother, a wife and a good businessperson. Yet, she is an enterprising woman who makes good business deals. She starts a new business from the profit of the former. A woman can have an independent energetic spirit that makes her take on new projects. Why? Because she has the blessing. The virtuous woman is also a giver. She is not so consumed by her goals and aspirations that she is not sensitive to the need of others. She is sensitive to needs around her.

She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hand to the needy. Proverbs 31:20
This woman is not afraid to open up her heart and hands to the needy. She does not close her eyes and look the other way. She does not say that, I need to take care of my family, so I cannot help others. No, she recognizes that the reason she has been blessed is so that she can be a blessing to others. The more you use your resources for others, the more your resources will be multiplied. That is how the blessing works. The only reason why the Proverbs 31 woman can be all she is, is the blessing of God on her life. The blessing is a major factor in making you an exceptional woman.

THE BLESSING MAKES YOU SUPERNATURAL.

PASTOR MAY IJISESAN

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God-

Living
PASTOR TUNDE AKINYEMI
Director of Operations, KingsWord Africa Gen 1:26: And God said: Let us make man in our image, after our likeness Right from the very beginning, the intention of God was for man to operate and function like Him for man to be in what I call the God-class. Reading of mans early days in the Garden of Eden, according to Genesis 3:8; for they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the Garden in the cool of the day, we have now come to see that daily fellowship with the Father was one of the things man enjoyed in the Garden. Then came the fall, and all the glory man enjoyed was lost. Since then, men of all ages have struggled to come to terms with this simple truth that God wants us to be just like Him. It is important we remind ourselves often that Christ has raised us up, and made us sit in heavenly places. We were redeemed (from the fall) to operate at His level. The plan was simple: for us to come up to the stature of the fullness of Christ just as it was in the beginning.

class
In other words, the original intention of God for us is still His ultimate goal and destination; God never changes His mind. God has imparted His kind of life (Zoe) into our spirits. This is the record, that God has given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. There are different forms of life. Plants have a different form of life from animals and we humans do not share in the kind of life that plants and animals have. Ours is a higher form of life. In the same way, God has a much higher form of life than humans. This is what the Bible refers to as eternal life (Zoe). The beautiful thing is that, God has chosen to share His form of life with us. We were designed and created that way. In Christ Jesus, we are called to live at this higher level. If we are risen with Christ, then we are to seek those things which are above, where Christ sits on the right hand of God.

A LIFESTYLE OF REGULAR GOD-LIKE EXPERIENCES THAT EVEN THE HIGH AND MIGHTY OF THIS WORLD CANNOT BOAST OF AVAILABLE FOR YOU AND ME

The Original Intention Of God For Us Is Still His Ultimate Goal And Destination; God Never Changes His Mind.

Not only did God recreate us with His form of life at new birth; He also gave us His very own Spirit. This is quite important because the body without the spirit is dead. So, to possess a form of life without the Spirit that operates that kind of life would be futile. That would be like having an engine without fuel to power the engine. So, God has put His very own Spirit that can run and live His very own life within us as well. It is a complete package. As a new creation in Christ Jesus, not only do you share in the life and nature of God; you also share His Spirit the very essence of God. Everything needed to function in the image and likeness of God was delivered to us at new birth. So, why then are believers living way below this standard? One reason is that many have not even been taught this reality. And some who have been taught are not conscious of it. They are more aware of their human nature than they are of the divine nature that God imparted to them at new birth. So, they live as mere men. Furthermore, I believe many do not operate in the God-class because they simply do not understand how to. HOW TO LIVE GOD-CLASS Apostle Peter shed some amazing light on the howto live in the first chapter of his second epistle (verses 1-11). Among other things, he mentioned the following: (1) the Righteousness of God; (2) the Knowledge of God; (3) the Power of God; (4) the Glory and Virtue of God; and (5) the Divine Nature of God. He then made this declaration: For if ye do these things, ye shall never fall. In essence, Peter was saying, if you do the Righteousness, Knowledge, Power, Glory, Virtue, Nature, you will come up to the God-class. We live in the God-class by embracing all these things that

pertain to life and godliness through faith that we have in Jesus Christ. Jesus taught the Disciples in Have Faith in God. (The Message Translation reads: Jesus was matter-of-fact: Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it) He just spoke to the fig tree like God spoke to the firmament in Genesis. That was what He was teaching the disciples to do to learn to speak to things. There is a capacity in you as a human to operate in the divine. You can live like God and have faith like God if you choose to. All it takes to express that capacity was deposited in you the moment you gave your life to Christ. One more beautiful thing about the God-class is that its accessible by all classes of men. Whatever your level or standing in the society or your financial, marital or academic status; you can access the Godclass. It is not an exclusive club for the high and mighty, it is available to all and sundry, anyone that would dare to believe. MY GOD-CLASS EXPERIENCE Let me show you what I mean by sharing a testimony, as simple as it may sound. To the Glory of God, it has been over five years since I last had a bad day. Since I started being more conscious of these truths shared above, my life has taken a new and better turn. God does not have bad days. Even the day He died (when Jesus was crucified on the Cross) was not a bad day. All the birds, animals and lilies got their daily supply of nourishment as usual. It was business as usual in Heaven; nothing stopped operating because of death. In the God-class, we overcome even death. Mere men are threatened by such things. To God, death is already a defeated foe. Come up higher and live this life. It is a better, richer grade than the ordinary, natural, human life. It is Gods life and He wants to share it with you as beloved His child. RememberGods original intention is still His ultimate goal and destination.

You access God-class living by faith and not the money in your bank account or certifications that you have acquired.

SCRIPTURAL REFERENCES: EPH 2:6 / EPH 4:13 / 1JN 5:11 / COL 3:1-3 / JAS 2:26 / PSALM 82 / MARK 11:22 / ROM 5:2 / ROM 4:16 9

E V I S S A M TES
Childbirth without an aid, after four C.S.
My wife has had four deliveries through caesarian operation with only one surviving child, and she has been warned not to attempt having another child for her safety. But again, she got pregnant and was due in the month of August. Early July, she started having pains and the doctor claimed the baby was not well positioned in the womb. We prayed and the baby repositioned. Then just after, she started noticing water; but she was told that it was a bit early to have the baby. The next Sunday after service, my pastor came visiting and prayed with her declaring angelic assistance and supernatural delivery, and promised to check back. As he left, she started having contractions and our family doctor was not around he travelled to Abeokuta in Nigeria and would be back the next day. So, I had to rush out for help. Before I came back with another doctor, my wife had put to bed a baby boy right there in the house! Without a doctor or nurse! Without a caesarian operation! Guess what my sons name is, IYANU (meaning Wonder). Y.A.

a leap in finances

I had been standing in faith for the next level for six months. After the joint marathon prayer in church of spending 9hrs in prayer, God took me from just having N10,000 in my account to a millionaire status. God is faithful. T.V.

strange healing of kidney

My father had a kidney condition, that had him go through several tests and treatments and was on medication for several months with a device inserted into his lower body. I got my pastors to pray for him, and my family as well was covering him in prayer. One morning, without much relief the night before, he woke up and the device inserted into his body was found lying beside him on the bed. And all the doctors needed to do was to stitch the opening back. He was healed miraculously! T.

Vicious cycle of sinful acts broken

I had been struggling with a sinful habit for six years. It always left me feeling very terrible each time I indulged in it so much I wouldnt be able to pray. And it used to happen every other week, rendering me ineffective as a believer. Then, I decided to participate in the last 21 days of glory fasting exercise. And I wasnt even thinking so much about freedom from the habit. Weeks later, it dawned on me that I had not indulged in this habit since December 1 when the fasting exercise began. This is a major deliverance for me and I give God all the praise. He is indeed my deliverer. Anonymous

congo immigrants to u.s. citizens

My family and I applied for a visa to the U.S. from Nigeria where we had been living as immigrants from our original country Congo. At the end, we didnt just get the visa, but U.S. citizenship. Transportation, accommodation, feeding, job everything needed to start out life in America is being supplied by its government. To crown it all, we were given the privilege to choose the city we would like to live in. We chose Chicago, where we will just continue with the KingsWord family there. No break in transmission at all! F.I.

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E S E I N O STIM
1 out of 500, for a 500 percent salary increment job
During the screening phase for a job I applied for, over 500 of us did the exam, and it looked as if only people with connections will be shortlisted. I was among the few that got shortlisted, and I eventually got the job with a salary that is 500% higher than my previous salary. A.A. cysts which required surgery. The pastors laid hands on me during Summer Blast Campmeeting, we broke bread and believed God for a miracle. After a period of medication, I went in for an ultrasound to locate the fibroid and plan the surgery with the hospital but, praise God, the cysts and fibroids had dissolved. Halleluyah! B.A.

favor in academics
Last semester was very challenging because I traveled out of the U.S. and was in a country where I had limited internet access to complete my school work and submit papers on time (being an online student). As a result of this, all my papers were submitted very late. Thats courting failure, naturally. But, thank God, the school policy on submitting late papers was waived for me and the grade which I was expecting to be a D turned out to be a B. Is God not faithful? S.A.

amazing job offer in the bag

My wife and I, just after our wedding, had some financial constraints, and we turned to Gods Word listening to certain messages of our pastor and a guest minister at one of the church programs and declaring our massive restoration and compensation. Soon, I got a mail from a company in Dubai (U.A.E.) asking me if am willing to relocate and work for them. At first I thought it was a scam ,but I replied anyway. After about a week I got another mail for a Skype interview. Yet another week, I got another mail for a practical interview in form of a demo. Lastly, I got a mail from the CEO wanting to discuss with me over the phone. After the discussion he made me a beautiful offer to come work for his company in Dubai as an ERP Functional Consultant with the company which took care of all my traveling documents and expenses. I almost rejected because it was too good to be true. Thanks to my wife who woke me up to taking the offer. O.E.

spiritual growth, quite remarkable

I currently live in Jamaica and I heard about KingsWord through my brothers church. In the time that I have made contact with the Church, I have grown spiritually and have been inspired to revisit my dreams for ministry and business. The message archives have blessed me tremendously. I usually select a topic each morning and Iisten as I drive to work. The daily devotions have also been a blessing. My faith has grown in leaps and bounds. Thank God for KingsWord. C.E.

cysts & fibroids disappears

Earlier this year I was diagnosed with fibroids and ovarian

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ONE CHURCH
KINGSWORD NORTH AMERICA
PASTORS OROK & AISHA DUKE 3323 W. Cermak Road, Chicago IL 60623 Email: kicchicago@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD MAIN CHICAGO CAMPUS

SEVERAL LOCATIONS
KINGSWORD AFRICA
KINGSWORD OREGUN
(continued)

KINGSWORD AFRICA
KINGSWORD OAU
Pastor Jegede Ayodapo

KINGSWORD SOUTHWEST CHICAGO CAMPUS

PASTORS TAYO & KEMI AKINYEMI 1312 Enterprise Drive Romeoville, IL 60446 Email: kicromeoville@kingsword.org PASTOR GBOYEGA ADEGBITE 1212 WEST BALMORAL CHICAGO IL 60640 Email: kicnorthside@kingsword.org

(continued)

PASTOR JIMI TEWE Etal Avenue behind Etal Hotel, Off Kudirat Abiola Way, First bank B/stop, Oregun, Lagos Nigeria Email: kicoregun@kingsword.org

Email: kccoau@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD UI

KINGSWORD NORTH CHICAGO CAMPUS

KINGSWORD LEKKI

PASTOR MARTIN ORU Monarch Event Center Osaka Bus Stop, Lekki, Lagos Email: kiclekki@kingsword.org

Minister Dada Michael Email: kccui@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD Adekunle Ajasin University (AAU), Ondo State

Minister Adebiyi Ebenezer Email: kccaau@kingsword.org Minister Fatile Ayo Email: kccoui@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD CINCINNATI

KINGSWORD IBADAN

PASTOR LINDA UBEKU Email: kiccincinnati@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD DALLAS

PASTOR EDMOND SHOTUBO KS Motel, Total Garden bus stop Gate, Ibadan, Oyo State Nigeria. Email: kicibadan@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD Odua University Ife (OUI)

PASTOR ENIOLA ASHAFA 13500 Midway Road Building 3 Suite 340 Farmers Branch, TX 75244 Email: kicdallas@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD Ekiti State University (EKSU)

Minister Olayinka-Bello Afolabi Email: kcceksu@kingsword.org Minister Elegbeleye Ayodapo Email: kccoau@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD AKURE

KINGSWORD DEKALB

PASTOR AKIN OJO 1st floor, Abanik House, Opp Chicken Republic, Road-block, Akure, Ondo Nigeria. Email: kicakure@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD OAU Predegree

Dekalb, IL Email: kccdekalb@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD IGANDO

KINGSWORD Delta University Ipetumodu

Email: kccdelta@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD SENECA

PASTOR SEUN ADEDIJI Toronto, Ontario. Email: kccseneca@kingsword.org

PASTOR URIEL MANUFOR Vic Park Events Centre, 10/12 Abisogun Avenue, Afolabi b/stop (beside CCECC), Akesan Igando, Lagos Nigeria Email: kicigando@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD UNILAG

Email: kccunilag@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD IJEBU-ODE

KINGSWORD UNIOSUN Osogbo

Email: kccuniosun@kingsword.org Email: kcciree@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD EUROPE
KINGSWORD LONDON
PASTORS DOTUN & BUKKY ORAGBADE The Agora, Harris Academy The Green, Welling DA16 2PE, UK Email: kiclondon@kingsword.org

PASTOR SEUN ADEBANJO 3As Hotel, Imoru Road, Off Ondo Road, Ijebu-Ode Ogun State Nigeria Email: kicijebuode@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD Iree Polytechnic, Iree

KINGSWORD ALAGBADO

APOSTOLIC CENTERS
GLOBAL APOSTOLIC CENTER AFRICA APOSTOLIC CENTER
PLOT6, Block 34 Etal Avenue Off Kudirat Abiola Rd, Oregun, First Bank Bus Stop Lagos - Nigeria 3323 W Cermak Rd, Chicago IL 60623

KINGSWORD AFRICA
KINGSWORD FREETOWN KINGSWORD MONROVIA KINGSWORD ACCRA
Email: kicfreetown@kingsword.org Email: kicmonrovia@kingsword.org Email: kicaccra@kingsword.org

PASTOR SEUN DURO-ISHOLA Ajikera Hall, Ojuelegba Street, Off Baale Animashaun Street, Dalemo B/Stop Alakuko, Lagos Email: kicalagbado@kingsword.org

KINGSWORD OKO-OBA

PASTOR ACHESE OPUDA Johnson Agiri Agricultural Complex, Old Abeokuta Road, Gengeto B/Stop Agege, Lagos Nigeria Email: kicokooba@kingsword.org

EUROPE APOSTOLIC CENTER

KINGSWORD ABEOKUTA

The Agora, Harris Academy The Green, Welling DA16 2PE, UK

KINGSWORD ABIDJAN

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Email: kicabidjan@kingsword.org

PASTOR DAYO ADEFOLAHAN Mama Cass Multi-Purpose Hall Ibara, Abeokuta Email: kicabeokuta@kingsword.org

COLLEGE MINISTRY APOSTOLIC CENTER Obafemi Awolowo University

Ile-Ife, Nigeria

ESL:

Fulfilling The Everywhere Mandate Through Education

TO A DYING WORLD that may never come to the Savior, the church has a commission to go and preach. And in our busy structured society, the wise thing to do is to penetrate the natural systems (that the people are wound unto) to offer the supernatural life. That is the essence of KingsWord Everywheres ESL. ESL, which stands for English as a Second Language, is one of the outreaches of the KIC Chicago main campus. The aim is simple: teach non-English speakers in the community the English language as well as introduce them to Christ. It has been running for two years and recently graduated its first set of students issuing English Language certificates. For many in this maiden set, certificate in the hand and the Gospel in the heart is their beautiful story.

ESL TESTIMONIES
ELOISA
When I started the ESL program, I had depression and problems concentrating. After the teacher prayed for me in one of the classes, my depression resolved and my concentration improved. While in class, my understanding continued to improve. As I improved, I became surer of myself and my English. I was able to finish the whole program. I can now read English with understanding and I am getting ready to do the test in English for my American citizenship!

BERTHA

CAROLINA

I give thanks to God for all that I learned during the program, every time that the Word of God was shared, I felt peace that I had never felt before. I felt the presence of God for the first time.

When I started coming to the ESL program, I had been depressed for a very long time. I had always been unsure of myself, because of my poor English. I had a grudge in my heart against my family because they were verbally abusive to me, due to my lack of English skills. When the teacher prayed with me I was able to forgive the people that hurt me, the depression disappeared; and I have no fear of speaking anymore. Since finishing the program, my English has improved so much that I was able to get a job one week after graduation! I really give thanks to God for this program; my husband was with me on graduation day and during prayers, he felt the presence of God and he received healing!

MIGUEL

ANA

I learned a lot during this program, the teachers not only took the time to teach me English, they also prayed for me many times. I had many problems in my marriage and on the day of my graduation it was as if my family would not be there to witness it. I spoke to one of the teachers, and she prayed for a change of heart on behalf of my family. The ceremony started. As I walked up to receive my certificate, I saw my wife and children walking through the door. Praise God!

I am an ESL teacher, and there have been times when I felt like giving up! However, testimonials and testimonies like these above have given me reason to continue, to strive, to pray and to press on. We have testimonies of Gods faithfulness through ESL. We are seeing doors of opportunities open to people because of improvements in their English. We are seeing lives restored, family lives improved and people learning, not just English as a Second Language, but the power that is in Christ.

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As For Me
E
VERY MARRIAGE at some point faces issues and challenges that can cause stress and strain. But the Word already covers all problems. Understanding the covenant nature and Biblical guidelines attached to marriage as a covenant and how they impact on our day to day decisions can help deal with rising issues in the right way. Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. It is God designed and is the most sacred relationship that can exist between two human beings (of the opposite sex of course). Just like in any other covenant relationship, each party has a part to play. And here is the beauty of it: one party does not wait for the other to do his part or hold back unnecessarily because the other party is failing on his or her promises. When God made the covenant with Abraham, He had this to say: GEN 17:4. As for me, behold my covenant is with thee As For Me That means without regard to Abrahams part, God has resolved to keep His own part meaning He would not be unfaithful even if the other party (Abraham) fails to keep his end of the deal. Same thing applies to keeping marital vows: you proclaim your responsibility to your spouse without reservations and conditions to do and abide by the following: AS FOR ME, I WILL WALK IN LOVE People like to behave as though love is some kind of mysterious virus that afflicts them and then goes away leaving them drained of life itself. Very often, what people think of as love is the warm feelings, the adrenaline rush and butterflies in the stomach. When the feelings become less and fuzzy, or maybe even downright hostile, it is taken to mean that the love is gone. No, it is not! It may have been trampled upon or swept under the carpet, but it is still there and only waiting for a quality decision the choice to love your spouse in spite of current feelings to spring up again and come into

BY: DOZIE AND SHOLA EZEOKOLI

full expression. With such a resolve, you show your spouse love even when you feel it is not warranted or deserved. You go out of your way to do things to revive your dormant feelings. Feelings will come and go, but the love that you have for your spouse should stand the test of time. This love that transcends mere feelings all the time can only be by covenant. Love, rather than feelings, is a decision, action, work and sacrifice. According to 1st Corinthians 13: 4-8, it is to be unselfish, to believe the best, quick to forgive, think loving thoughts and do loving acts. It is security and stability in the face of faded affections. And what undergirds that love is covenant. AS FOR ME, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU Well if it doesnt work out, I can get a divorce. That is a statement of marital failure before it begins. The plan B of divorce is an evil one because it is anti covenant love (covenant never talks like that). Now, the plan B is quite potent. If you plan for it, it most likely will work out. If you are a child of God, if you have received the love of God in the sacrifice of His son Jesus, then do not have a plan B. Dont even think or joke about it. disagreements under the carpet than to dredge it up and deal with it. But love demands that someone (I mean you) should take responsibility for initiating resolution to clashes of interests and opinions. If you are in conflict with your spouse, then you must clear the danger signs by resolving it even if you have to stay up all night to come to an agreement. Why? Unresolved conflicts lead to the building of walls between you and your spouse. They cause resentment to build up in one or both parties. Such strife leads to illness marital and physical and heart break. So do not bury your negative emotions about an issue, bring it to the open and talk about it. A practical thing to do is to set out a time to talk things over at a place and time you will not be disturbed by children. And it is not a time to come across as harsh and critical, pointing accusing fingers, This is your problem, what are you going to do about it. Talk about what is on your mind in reasonable soft tones. Air your viewpoint in a non-violent, non-threatening and non-judgmental way. There should be apologies as each partner owns their part in the said conflict. If things ever escalate to voices being raised or the pain too much to deal with, drop the issue for the time being with a plan to revisit later. (At least now it is on the table.) Focus on the things that are working out in the meantime and do not treat your spouse like an enemy because of the pending issue. And make sure that you return later to deal with the problem dont neglect it totally unless time happens to heal both of you. To reduce major conflict, couples can actually

2.

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Do not go into marriage thinking, If life gets tough in there, I will escape. Make up your mind ahead of time that you will not abandon your spouse. This is COMMITMENT, the implicative spelling of true love. Divorce should not be in your vocabulary. If an internal or external conflict shows up in your marriage (and they will), sit down with your spouse and resolve it. Learn all you can about marriage (see a counselor, go to a marriage seminar, or read a couple of books) and do not think of divorce as being a way to run away from your battles. You have to do everything within your power to stay married to your spouse. AS FOR ME, I WILL BE NOT LET THE SUN SET ON STRIFE There are times in marriage when it is just easier to sweep the conflicts and

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have time set apart (e.g. every month) to discuss knotty issues in the marriage. Make up your minds to have a strife free, stress free marriage. You will reap dividends in good health and peace of mind and heart, as well as answered prayers. FOR ME, I WILL BE COMMUNICATIVE 4. AS It is often said that communication is a two way thing, but the art (that means communication can be learned) is way deeper than mere dialogue. It is not just you talking and the other party hearing and making comments. It is you talking and the other party interpreting rightly what is being said in order to evoke the right response or action. (That you have communicated goes beyond the words exchanged right there and then but also the impression the listener leaves the meeting with.) Therefore, communication demands first of all that you express yourself to your spouse. Bottom line, you have to say it! Dropping hints or giving your spouse the cold shoulder or silent treatment is not communication. (It goes without saying, really.)You must learn to talk in a non ambiguous manner. Be truthful and gentle in what you say. Then the other person has to hear you. If the person you are communicating with does not hear what you are saying, communication has not been effective. If you asked your husband take out the trash and he heard give me the cash you have not communicated. Make sure you talk to your spouse when and where he or she can hear what you are saying. Though issues are meant to be resolved, how and when they are tabled matters for communication. The test of whether you have effectively communicated is Feedback. No feedback (or wrong feedback) no communication. And the more serious the matter at hand, the more imperative it is for you to get feedback. Try and find out (directly or indirectly) what your spouse makes of what you have said. There is a way people can hear something other than what you mean to say. For example, you tell your wife: I think you are having quite some stress at work. We need to do something. The feedback from her may be You want me to give up my job, and that may not be what you mean! Again, if an argument ever gets heated up, do not hit, call names or throw temper tantrums in the bid to express yourself. That way, effective communication could be zero even minus. AS FOR ME, I WILL SHARE MY LIFE WITH YOU It is a busy world out there, and if care is not taken, a couple in the process of busyness can grow apart as they pursue two completely different lives. Natural reasons (that can be

excused away) like travelling, job schedule, making money, growing children etc. can be creating a wall of separation between a couple through frustration, offenses, and taking ones partner for granted. Covenant love demands that you and your spouse grow together, not apart. Underlying all the natural reasons mentioned above (as causes for separation) is the fact that both parties have not given priority to the growth of their marriage and what happens to it. (This could be from a lack of knowledge or sheer stubbornness.) Your marriage comes before your job, kids, travels of course your selfishness and frustrations. You should therefore evaluate your marriage, together with your spouse, as you come up with ways to avoid growing apart. Tips on not pulling apart? Develop shared interests by taking an interest in your spouses interests. You do not have to learn to play golf if your husband likes golf, but you should try and watch the games, and go to a few games with him. If your wife is into cars, go to auto shows together. If one partner is outdoorsy and the other is indoorsy, time should be planned to take account of the divergent interests. It is a good idea also to have a mutual hobby that is neither here nor there for both parties. It could be salsa dancing, antiquing, sports anything that will give you something to bond over. Set times apart as talking times where you can have a no-holds-barred conversation about the state of your marriage. Really, you should be building bridges, not walls. AS FOR ME, I WILL NOT TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED When was the last time you told your husband or wife that you loved him or her? When was the last time that you went out of your way to do something special maybe not to prove your love, but to show it? When was the last time you had a romantic getaway? Do you know and speak your partners love language? Not doing any of this is leaving your marriage to chance, assuming everything will somehow just work out instead of working on building the relationship. If you have fallen into the trap of taking your spouse for granted, make up your mind to put an end to it.

as well as see corresponding actions. Too hard? Not really, particularly if your marriage is important to you. If you have to sacrifice a few wants to please your spouse investing time, energy, passion and money into it then do it for covenant sake. People naturally sacrifice for their education, self improvement, career, ministry, church, hobbies, children etc. so why not the most intimate relationship of marriage. If your spouse is saying, I feel ignored, or, dont you love me anymore, or, our marriage is boring; please listen to his or her heart. He or she is trying to pass across a message: I feel taken for granted. For the sake of love, make amends. AS FOR ME, I WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU Picture this scenario: You are about to go out on a date. You and your wife have not had that for a while, and sex has been infrequent. You know that tonight, after wining and dining with her, she will be in seventh heaven good for you. She is wearing a dress that does not look too flattering but you are almost late for your dinner reservation. She asks you the dreaded question, Does this dress make me look fat?

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Or this other scenario: Your husband rarely ever cooks. One day you come home late and tired, and you meet him slaving away at the stove, the oven, and the deep fryer all at the same time. You wait in anticipation of the meal. You do not even stop to snack on cookies, even though you are so hungry. At last the food is set before you and you dig in. You take a big bite and it feels like flames just lit up your mouth. Too much pepper! He comes in with a glass of water, a big smile on his face and says: How do you like the food? What do you do in these two occasions? Tell a lie to flatter your spouse or let out the truth which may be hurtful. Well, there is no option but to be honest. (You should never lie to your spouse.) But how you say it matters. Being truthful does not mean being mean! Truth and being nasty do not have to go together. In the two scenarios above say the truth in a complimentary way, admitting the anomaly but acknowledging the effort or any good thing about it. Make sure you speak the truth in love. Lie or any other sin is anti covenant. Covenant works with trust and once lies are introduced, it begins to breach trust, calling into question your very integrity. It makes your spouse wonder what else you have been lying to them about. Even so-called harmless lies can snowball out of control. Therefore, be honest with your spouse.

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Like anything else, marriage is what we make of it. You need to treat your spouse as though he or she is special (imagine, he or she is the one that by covenant has to put up with your drama, faults and foibles). Do not ever get to a point where your spouse is common to you. Do not get so wrapped up in the grind, dayto-day survival and rat race that you neglect your wife or husband. Your spouse (especially wives) needs to hear, on a daily basis, words of love and affirmation

Dozie Ezeokoli is a medical doctor and the Family Life Pastor at KIC Chicago. Shola Ezeokoli is also a doctor and the Director of Publications at KIC Chicago. She assists her husband in the Family Life Ministry and blogs and writes about marital issues.

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TRANSFORMED
The Dramatic Story of Aisha Duke
By Dr. Shola Ezeokoli
REAL MISERY STARTED Everyone says that life after school is supposed to be rosy, but for Aisha, it was far from that, despite the fact she already had a Masters degree at 23 and a great position at a company that many people would have loved to have worked for at that time. She was not fulfilled. This period of time in my life was the most challenging for a myriad of reasons. She affirmed. I was working two jobs, neither of which I was particularly enamored with. I was in debt and each paycheck that I received was being garnished, leaving me with what felt like nothing. I managed to go clubbing every weekend to have what was supposed to be fun and also shop above my means living a lifestyle I could not afford but wanted; and going through several means to make it possible. But all my coping mechanisms shopping, men, friends and clubs to cover up how much I was deteriorating on the inside didnt provide a solution. Miserable me! She recounted. Aisha contemplated suicide (actually attempted it) but it didnt work out too. (Thank God for that.) She even plunged deep into a dysfunctional relationship of co-dependency that she was scared to leave out of fear for her life, acceptance by others, and fear of leaving the person who she thought would understand her and accept her like no one else could. Yet, in this relationship, she was lonely and dejected confused by the void inside her not been able to come to grips with how she could fill it. TRACING STEPS BACK TO GOD That led to a time of reflection on her childhood; at least life was good and the future bright then. I used to journal a lot, and when I look over my past journals I realize that as a child I was always conscious that God exists, and I would always write letters to him in my journal. This took her to her first encounters with church. My parents attended separate churches one Baptist and one Episcopal. One day, I remember attending my moms Baptist church where she caught the holy ghost. I was 7 years old then and we were on a balcony and my mum began to jerk, jump up and down and I was so scared that she would fall over the balcony. So I did what any 7 year old would do, I hid under the pew and made up my mind that I was not going to her church ever again. So, I began going to church with my dad and I was a member of the choir. But I never understood the messages being preached and I was always bored. Aisha decided to trace her step back to God, whom she had never really appreciated or understood all this while. Initially, she gave her life to Christ several times because she did not understand what she was doing. She was still in this dysfunctional relationship that involved a lot of verbal abuse. One day, she decided that she was going to finally break up this relationship for the seventh and last time. At that time she was reading a book by Stormie Omartian called The Power of a Praying Woman. In the book, the author mentioned that sometimes when you are in trouble and you do not know what to do, just mention the name Jesus. After conveying the break up to her ex, he was upset and came to her apartment

A Life

HE WAS BORN in Chicago, Michael Reese Hospital to be exact. She grew up in a diverse community in downtown Oak Park, Illinois, where everyone knew her name, thanks to her dad. He made it a point to let people in the community know that if they ever caught her doing anything wrong, they should let him know. A half Guyanese and half African American, Aisha (thats her name) grew up mostly around her dads side of the family (Guyanese). She was exposed to a whole lot of Guyanese culture and till today she identifies strongly with her Guyanese upbringing. Recollecting, My Grandmother was my caretaker when my parents had to work and during the summer holidays grooming me more in the culture, Aisha said. AN EARLY SHAKING WELL WEATHERED At 15, a life storm arose in her family, from which she witnessed her parents go through a divorce. It was a very challenging experience for Aisha as she did not want to have to choose between either parent. But though they were not together, her parents were still unified in their beliefs in a good education and so she never stopped being a straight A student. And they were extremely protective of her in this regard. While all the neighborhood kids would be out playing, she was always being told to read her books. You are not like everyone else so you cant do what everyone else is doing. That was repeatedly said to her by dad and mum. Those cautions made positive impacts despite contrary opinions of relatives and friends who felt her parents were too strict and overprotective making comments such as When you go away to college, you are going to be wild because you wont know how to act with all that freedom. Their prophecies of doom didnt work. Rather, she realized that her parents had worked hard to give her the best and they wanted her to achieve more than they ever did. This drove her to work smart in school. It was motivation for me to stay on the right track. I saw a whole lot of young girls some former friends and relatives get pregnant during high school or before they finished college. Seeing the challenges they went through was enough to make up my mind that I would finish school, She said.

PASTORS AISHA & OROK DUKE

drunk. Not wanting to wake her roommates who did not like him, she went outside to avoid a scene. As Aisha stepped outside, the guy began to curse at her using all the degrading words in this world. Aisha knew she had to react at this point, but how? With tears in her eyes she started calling the name Jesus. As I did that, she said, he started to back away and he actually became quiet and sober! The guy then said, I am going to back off right now because I feel a weird presence surrounding you. That was the first time Aisha would realize Jesus wanted to be there for her. This was the first moment in my

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life that I had encountered Gods presence, she confessed, and I thought to myself, if at a time I was not so sure of my salvation, Jesus could show up to protect me, He would do so much more if I give my life completely to him. With that, Aisha gave her life to Christ fully a year later, responding to an altar call in her former church. FINDING GOD IN THE KINGSWORD COMPANY Aisha never got round to joining a service team in that particular church because she felt she belonged somewhere else. In her search for a home church, she visited a lot of churches of different denominations. Many places I went, they to would tell me, dont dress this way, dont wear your hair this way, dont go to clubs, and dont drink. I did not want to do these things really, but no one seemed interested in telling me what to do when I felt like clubbing or drinking. It just seemed like a bunch of rules. She said. Aisha became tired of going to a service that made her feel good on Sunday, but when the slightest trouble showed up in the week, she would get frustrated and down again. So, she promised God that if He would bring her to a church that she could get practical teaching that she could apply every day, she would be faithful and committed to Him. It eventually happened! Aishas best friends coworker invited them to KingsWord for a special program. We came to the first service that was held in a storefront and I was impressed with the excellence of the place. More importantly, when I came in, I felt a tangible presence. Then I did not even know what the anointing was, I just knew it felt good. Throughout the sermon Aisha just kept crying, wondering why everything Reverend Victor Adeyemi (who was visiting at the time) said was about her life (almost as if he knew what she was going through). At the end of the service, it was mentioned there was a second service. My friend and I looked at each other without saying a word, and we knew we were staying at KingsWord. KINGSWORD IS TRULY HOME On top of this first time experience, members of KingsWord were very friendly and genuinely warm to her. I had visited several churches prior to coming to KingsWord, but they never seemed interested in me as a person, just interested in my membership. She said. At KingsWord, I received calls from the pastors and they would consistently follow up with me, but they never once asked me about joining the church. They were always interested in learning about me and my welfare. Until I came to KingsWord, no pastor, let alone a member from any other church I visited, ever called me. This was a big deal to me, and I really felt like they cared about me. The care was not just in magnitude, but in promptness and accuracy of time. Aisha cited a peculiar instance: There was a time that I was at work and I had an issue with my boss. I was seriously contemplating quitting that day and then I received a call from Pastor Kay. He said, You were on my heart, and I just felt that I should call you. I immediately told him what was going on and he prayed with me, gave me some scriptures to read, and I was able to make it through that day and the rest of the week. What he told me happened to be the practicality and application of the Word of God I needed.

To cap it all, KingsWord became a real home because of the hunger for and the fire of God in the house. I had never seen so many young people excited about growing in God, serving God, successful, and demonstrating the power of God unapologetically, and I wanted to be a part of it. She realized this is all she has been looking for since childhood, and she was glad to have found it at last in this KingsWord company. Home sweet home! THE RADICAL CHANGES IN DIFFERENT ASPECTS Has there been a measure of difference in Aishas way of living and results in her life since then? Absolutely, as different as heaven and earth! She has been able to apply the practical teachings in church to her life and have seen rapid results. Her financial situation has improved drastically; she is no longer living from paycheck to paycheck. (In fact, she no longer works for a paycheck.) Some major debts have been dissolved and she will soon be debt free! She has been healed from the scars of being molested, and she now mentors other young girls who have gone through similar experiences or have been in dysfunctional relationships. My mindset changed from believing that God could not use me because of my past to recognizing that there was a call of God on my life into the five-fold ministry office, she stated. Aisha is now a pastor in KingsWord and she has a job as Executive Director of KingsWord Apostolic Center contrary to opinions in some circles that she would not be successful in Human Resources, I love my job and it has developed me in leadership and has increased my knowledge and capacity to run an organization from the ground up, she said. Aisha has been delivered from chronic depression, and now operates with a sound mind the mind of Christ. My mind has been renewed to see what God sees in me (this is an ongoing process), and to think what He thinks about me. I have been set free from any shame or guilt that I carried from my past, and as a result I am free to be me! I am bolder to speak of Him, demonstrate Him, and represent Jesus everyday! Her living witness is her family members people who have known her long before now. And they are as amazed as she is at the changes in her, which has led to some of them also making decisions to make Christ their Lord and Savior. As part of the wonder, they (the family) have also seen her turn the gift to dance and choreograph (one of her passions), which she used in the past for worldly gratification, to a blessing to the body of Christ through praise dance ministry. What a transformation that has taken place here in Aishas life. In her words, The very thing I was ashamed of, God showed me how to turn it into good, and be a blessing to others. FINDING A HEARTTHROB THROUGH GOD Now, Aisha is married to her sweetheart, Pastor Orok Duke, and they have two handsome boys Samuel and Joshua. How did she get hooked up with a pastor so fast after joining church (at that time she was not a pastor then)? We met in church! When I first came to church he would usually follow up with me just to see how I was doing. Because I was not incredibly serious yet (for the first 3 months of church I still lived a double life of going to clubs Saturday night like a sinner, come home 5am to catch few hours of sleep and by 10am am in church as a saint). Then I would be very blunt and tell him the antics I got into

over the weekend hoping that would make stop the ministerial follow up. It did not! As time went on and Aisha became more serious, she worked with Pastor Orok on the management team at church, and he became her boss. Because she was church secretary and he was church administrator at the time they worked on several projects together. Initially, I saw him as very authoritative and a man of excellence, but I soon came to learn how humble, funny, and sweet he was. She said. But all this time, Aisha was still holding on to some wrong beliefs about marriage due to her background and bad experiences. I did not believe in marriage, nor did I think I would have children. At least it was not in my plan. Aisha recalled the time Pastor Orok was featured in the first church magazine about a reputable award he won. When I read the article I was surprised because if I had not read that article I would not have known. It crossed my mind that this man is humble, and I thought to myself I would like to marry someone with that characteristic. After quite some time at KingsWord he sent me a text asking if we could meet up, and I remember responding Am I in trouble? We met up and he let me know he was interested in me, we talked to our pastors, and from there we became friends and spent time getting to know each other and the rest is history. A MINISTRY TO YOUNG LADIES OUT OF WOES From the trying times of childhood, to wrong relationships, to clubbing, to indebtedness, to loneliness, to a suicide attempt, Aisha has been brought through the dark tunnel of sin, shame, and difficulty to a light of hope at the end of the tunnel when she finally gave her life to Christ and unto an open field of expression of the life of God she now has. Her favorite scriptures are We Love Him, because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19) and Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5). Now, Aisha feels called specially to single ladies, echoing the love of God to that class, drawing from the Word of God and her experience. When I finally got out of the wrong relationship, she said, God told me this: Aisha, you will never have a healthy relationship until you have a relationship with Me. I am love, I will teach you to love me, and in turn how to love you Being single for anyone is a great time to discover all the great gifts God has placed in her and discover the plans He has for her. Aisha is convinced from her experience (and several others in KingsWord) that if a lady spends her single life focusing on God, it will allow her to be more discerning when a man approaches with interest. Because you love Him, you love you, and He has shared His plans for you, you will be able to correctly discern the correct life partner that will partner with you to do His work. That is how to get it right She concluded. Evidently, God is the main factor in Pastor Aishas turnaround. And for any single lady that would want to turn out well like her, she has this parting shot: For the time that you are single make God your main man; He will teach you to love, and he will prepare you for your future.

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There is a light that sets your sight One that changes your plight That breaks your night And raises your height There is a light that propels your flight One that arms you to fight There is a light that creates your delight A bright light that sets you right This light is in His life For in Him is life and the life is the light of men

Let there be Light!