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What People are saying about this book: "A readable, practical, and entertaining book about a challenging,

original, and promising new discipline. I recommend it."Dan Goleman, Associate Editor of Psychology Today. "N ! represents a huge "uantum #ump in our understanding of human beha$ior and communication. It makes most current therap% and education totall% obsolete."&ohn '. (te$ens, author of Awareness and editor of Gestalt Therapy Verbatim and Gestalt is. ")his book shows %ou how to do a little magic and change the wa% %ou see, hear, feel, and imagine the world %ou li$e in. It presents new therapeutic techni"ues which can teach %ou some surprising things about %ourself."(am *een, +onsulting Editor of Psychology Today and author of Beginnings Without End, To a ancing God, and Apology for Wonder. ",ow tiresome it is going from one limiting belief to another. ,ow #o%ful to read -andler and Grinder, who don.t belie$e an%thing, %et use e$er%thing/ N ! wears se$en0league0boots, and takes .therap%. or .personal growth. far, far be%ond an% pre$ious notions."-arr% (te$ens, author of on!t Push the "i#er, and co0author of Person to Person. "1rit2 !eris regarded &ohn (te$ens. Gestalt Therapy Verbatim as the best representation of his work in print. Grinder and -andler ha$e good reason to ha$e the same regard for $rogs into Princes. 'nce again, it.s the closest thing to actuall% being in the workshop." 3ichard !rice, +o0founder and director of Esalen Institute.

frogs into !3IN+E(


Neuro inguistic !rogramming

b% 3ichard (andier and &ohn Grinder

edited b% (te$e ftndreas

4formerl% &ohn %. (te$ens5

)6

3EA !E'! E !3E((

&opyright ' ()*) "eal People Press Bo+$ ,oab, -tah ./012 I(-N7 809::;;<0:=0> clothbound ?::.88 I(-N7 80 9::;;<0:90; paperbound ?@.A8 &o#er Artwor3 by Eli4abeth ,alc4yns3i, Broo3lyn, 56 7ibrary of &ongress &ataloging in Publication ata8 (andier, 3ichard. 1rogs into princes. "Edited entirel% from audiotapes of introductor% N ! training workshops conducted b% 3ichard -andler and &ohn Grinder." -ibliograph%7 p. :. !s%chotherap%. ;. Non$erbal communication. B. !s%cholinguistics. >. Imager% 4!s%cholog%5 I. Grinder, &ohn, #oint author. II. )itle. 3+>=8.A.-B:B <:<.=.9:> , @90:B;AA I(-N 809::;;<0:=0> ,C... I(-N 809::;;<0:90; %ther boo3s about 5euro97inguistic Programming from "eal People Press8
D(ING E'D3 -3AIN01'3A +,ANGE, b% "ichard Bandler. :A9pp. :9=A +loth ?::.88 !aper ?@.A8

3E13A6ING7 Neuro0 inguistic !rogramming and the )ransformation of 6eaning, b% "ichard Bandler and :ohn Grinder. ;;8 pp. :9=: +loth ?:;.88 !aper ?=.A8 )3AN+E01'36A)I'N(7 Neuro0 inguistic !rogramming and the (tructure of ,%pnosis, b% :ohn Grinder and "ichard Bandler. ;A8 pp. :9=: +loth ?:;.88 !aper ?=.A8 +,ANGE E'D3 6INDAND *EE! ),E +,ANGE, b% ;te#e Andreas and &onnirae Andreas. :=@ pp. :9=@ +loth ?:;.88 !aper ?=.A8 )he name "eal People Press indicates our purposeC to publish ideas and wa%s that a person can use independentl% or with others to become more real<lo further %our own growth as a human being and to de$elop %our relationship and communication with others. = 9 :8 !rinting 9B 9; 9: 98 =9

&ontents
$oreword b% (te$e Andreas 4formerl% &ohn '. (te$ens5 A &hallenge to the "eader I ;ensory E+perience8 3epresentational (%stems and Accessing +ues II &hanging Personal =istory and %rgani4ation8 Anchoring III $inding 5ew Ways8 3efraining Bibliography A0@= @90:B< :B@0:9B :9> i0i$

$oreword
I ha$e been stud%ing education, therapies, growth eFperiences, and other methods for personal change since I was a graduate student with Abe 6aslow o$er twent% %ears ago. )en %ears later I met 1rit2 !eris and immersed m%self in gestalt therap% because it seemed to be more effecti$e than most other methods. Actuall% all methods work for some people and with some problems. 6ost methods claim much more than the% can deli$er, and most theories ha$e little relationship to the methods the% describe. Ghen I was first introduced to Neuro inguistic !rogramming I was both fascinated and #ery skeptical. I had been hea$il% conditioned to belie$e that change is slow, and usuall% difficult and painful. I still ha$e some difficult% reali2ing that I can usuall% cure a phobia or other similar long0term problem painlessl% in less than an houre$en though I ha$e done it repeatedl% and seen that the results last. E$er%thing written in this book is eFplicit, and can be $erified "uickl% m %our own eFperience. )here is no hocus0pocus, and %ou will not be asked to take on an% new beliefs. Eou will onl% be asked to suspend %our own beliefs long enough to test the concepts and procedures of N ! in %our own sensor% eFperience. )hat won.t take longC most of the statements and patterns in this book can be tested in a few minutes or a few hours. If %ou are skeptical, as I was, %ou owe it to %our skepticism to check this out, and find out if the outrageous claims made in this book are $alid. N ! is an eFplicit and powerful model of human eFperience and

i communication. Dsing the principles of N ! it is possible to describe any human acti$it% in a detailed wa% that allows %ou to make man% deep and lasting changes "uickl% and easil%. A few specific eFamples of things %ou can learn to accomplish are7 4:5 cure phobias and other unpleasant feeling responses in less than an hour, 4;5 help children and adults with "learning disabilities" 4spelling and reading problems, etc.5 o$ercome these limitations, often in less than an hour, 4B5 eliminate most unwanted habitssmoking, drinking, o$er0eating, insomnia, etc., in a few sessions, 4>5 make changes in the interactions of couples, families and organi2ations so that the% function in wa%s that are more satisf%ing and producti$e, 4A5 cure man% ph%sical problemsnot onl% most of those recogni2ed as "ps%chosomatic" but also some that are notin a few sessions. )hese are strong claims, and eFperienced N ! practitioners can back them up with solid, $isible results. N ! in its present state can do a great deal, but it cannot do e$er%thing. ... if what weHe demonstrated is something that %ou.d like to be able to do, %ou might as well spend %our time learning it. )here are lots and lots of things that we cannot do. If %ou can program %ourself to look for things that will be useful.for %ou and learn those, instead of tr%ing to find out where what we are presenting to %ou falls apart, %ou Ill find out where it falls apart, I guarantee %ou. If %ou use it congruentl% %ou will find lots of places that it won.t work. And when it doesn.t work, I suggest %ou do something else. N ! is onl% about four %ears old, and man% of the most useful patterns were created within the last %ear or two. Ge ha$ent e$en begun to figure out what the possibilities are of how to use this material. And we are $er%, $er%, serious about that. Ghat we are doing now is nothing more than the in$estigation of how to use this information. Ge ha$e been unable to eFhaust the $ariet% of wa%s to put this stuff together and put it to use, and we don.t know of an% limitations on the wa%s that %ou can use this information. During this seminar we ha$e mentioned and demonstrated se$eral do2en wa%s that it can be used. It.s the structure of eFperience. !eriod. Ghen used ii s%stematicall%, it constitutes a full strateg% for getting an% beha$ioral gain. Actuall%, N ! can do much more than the kinds of remedial work entioned abo$e. )he same principles can be used to stud% people who " unusuall% talented in an% wa%, in order to determine the structure of that talent. )hat structure can then be "uickl% taught to others to gi$e them the foundation for that same abilit%. )his kind of inter$ention results in generati#e change, in which people learn to generate and create new talents and beha$iors for themsel$es and others. A side effect of such generati$e change is that man% of the problem beha$iors that would otherwise ha$e been targets for remedial change simpl% disappear. In one sense nothing that N ! can accomplish is new7 )here ha$e alwa%s been "spontaneous remissions," "miracle cures," and other sudden and pu22ling changes in people.s beha$ior, and there ha$e alwa%s been people who somehow learned to use their abilities in eFceptional wa%s. Ghat is new in N ! is the abilit% to s%stematicall% anal%2e those eFceptional people and eFperiences in such a wa% that the% can become widel% a$ailable to others. 6ilkmaids in England became immune to smallpoF long before &enner disco$ered cowpoF and $accinationC now smallpoFwhich used to kill hundreds of thousands annuall%is eliminated from human

eFperience. In the same wa%, N ! can eliminate man% of the difficulties and ha2ards of li$ing that we now eFperience, and make learning and beha$ioral change much easier, more producti$e, and more eFciting. Ge are on the threshold of a "uantum #ump in human eFperience and capabilit%. )here is an old stor% of a boilermaker who was hired to fiF a huge steamship boiler s%stem that was not working well. After listening to the engineer.s description of the problems and asking a few "uestions, he went to the boiler room. ,e looked at the ma2e of twisting pipes, listened to the thump of the boiler and the hiss of escaping steam for a few minutes, and felt some pipes with his hands. )hen he hummed softl% to himself, reached into his o$eralls and took out a small hammer, and tapped a bright red $al$e, once. Immediatel% the entire s%stem began working perfectl%, and the boilermaker went home. Ghen the steamship owner recei$ed a bill for ?:,888 he complained that the boilermaker had onl% been in the engine room for fifteen iii minutes, and re"uested an itemi2ed bill. )his is what the boilermaker sent him7

1or tapping with hammer7 1or knowing where to tap7 )otal7

.A8 ? 999.A8 ?:,888.88

Ghat is reall% new in N ! is knowing eFactl% what to do, and how to do it. )his is an eFciting book, and an eFciting time.

(te$e Andreas 4formerl% &ohn '. (te$ens5

IH

A &hallenge to the "eader

In m%ster% and sp% no$els, the reader can eFpect to be offered a series of written clues fragmentar% descriptions of earlier e$ents. Ghen these fragments are fitted together, the% pro$ide enough of a representation for the careful reader to reconstruct the earlier e$ents, e$en to the point of understanding the specific actions and moti$ations of the people in$ol$edor at least to reach the understanding that the author will offer at the conclusion of the no$el. )he more casual reader is simpl% entertained and arri$es at a more personal understanding, of which sJ he ma% or ma% not be conscious. )he writer of such a no$el has the obligation to pro$ide enough fragments to make a reconstruction possible, but not ob$ious. )his book is also the written record of a m%ster% stor% of sorts. ,owe$er, it differs from the traditional m%ster% in se$eral important wa%s. )his is the written record of a stor% that was told, and stor%0telling is a different skill than stor%0writing. )he stor%0teller has the obligation to use feedback from the listenerJwatcher to determine how man% clues sJhe can offer. )he kind of feedback sJhe takes into account is of two t%pes7 4:5 the $erbal, deliberate conscious feedback those signals the listenerJwatcher is aware that sJhe is offering to the stor%0teller, and 4;5 the non0$erbal, spontaneous, unconscious feedback7 the glimpse, the startle, the labored recollectionthose signals the listenerJ watcher offers the stor%0teller without being aware of them. An important skill in the art of stor%0telling is to use the unconscious feedback so as to pro$ide #ust enough clues that the unconscious process of the listenerJwatcher arri$es at the solution before the listenerJwatcher consciousl% appreciates it. 1rom such artistr% come the desirable eFperiences of surprise and delightthe disco$er% that we know much more than we think we do. Ge delight in creating those kinds of eFperiences in our seminars. And while the record that follows ma% ha$e contained enough clues for the participant in the seminar, onl% the more astute reader will succeed in full% reconstructing the earlier e$ents. As we state eFplicitl% in this book, the $erbal component is the least interesting and least influential part of communication. Eet this is the onl% kind of clue offered the reader here. )he basic unit of anal%sis in face0to0face communication is the feedback loop. 1or eFample, if %ou were gi$en the task of describing an interaction between a cat and a dog, %ou might make entries like7 "+at spits, ... dog bares teeth, ... cat arches back,... dog barks,... cat " At least as important as the particular actions described is the se>uence in which the% occur. And to some eFtent, an% particular beha$ior b% the cat becomes understandable only in the conteFt of the dog.s beha$ior. If for some reason %our obser$ations were restricted to #ust the cat, %ou would be challenged b% the task of reconstructing what the cat was interacting with. )he cat.s beha$ior is much more difficult to appreciate and understand in isolation.

Ge would like to reassure the reader that the non0se"uiturs, the surprising tangents, the unannounced shifts in content, mood or direction which %ou will disco$er in this book had a compelling logic of their own in the original conteFt. If these otherwise peculiar se"uences of communication were restored to their original conteFt, that logic would "uickl% emerge. )herefore, the challenge7 Is the reader astute enough to reconstruct that conteFt, or shall he simpl% en#o% the eFchange and arri$e at a useful unconscious understanding of a more personal natureI &ohn Grinder 3ichard -andler

;ensory E+perience
)here are se$eral important wa%s in which what we do differs radicall% from others who do workshops on communication or ps%chotherap%. Ghen we first started in the field, we would watch brilliant people do interesting things and then afterwards the% would tell $arious particular metaphors that the% called theori2ing. )he% would tell stories about millions of holes, or about plumbing7 that %ou ha$e to understand that people are #ust a circle with pipes coming from e$er% direction, and all %ou need is Draino or something like that. 6ost of those metaphors weren.t $er% useful in helping people learn specificall% what to do or how to do it. (ome people will do eFperiential workshops in which %ou will be treated to watching and listening to a person who is relati$el% competent in most, or at least part, of the business called "professional communications." )he% will demonstrate b% their beha$ior that the% are "uite competent in doing certain kinds of things. If %ou are fortunate and %ou keep %our sensor% apparatus open, %ou will learn how to do some of the things the% do. )here.s also a group of people who are theoreticians. )he% will tell %ou what their beliefs are about the true nature of humans and what the completel% "transparent, ad#usted, genuine, authentic," etc. person should be, but the% don.t show %ou how to do an%thing. 6ost knowledge in the field of ps%cholog% is organi2ed in wa%s that ttiF together what we call ?modeling?<what traditionall% has been called "theori2ing"and what we consider theology. )he descriptions A of what people do ha$e been miFed together with descriptions of what realit% "is." Ghen %ou miF eFperience together with theories and wrap them all up in a package, that.s a ps%chotheolog%. Ghat has de$eloped in ps%cholog% is different religious belief s%stems with $er% powerful e$angelists working from all of these differing orientations. Another strange thing about ps%cholog% is that there.s a whole bod% of people called "researchers" who will not associate with the people who are practicing/ (omehow the field of ps%cholog% got di$ided so that the researchers no longer pro$ide information for, and respond to, the clinical practitioners in the field. )hat.s not true in the field of medicine. In medicine, the people doing research are tr%ing to find things to help the practitioners in the field. And the practitioners respond to the researchers, telling them what the% need to know more about. Another thing about therapists is that the% come to therap% with a set of unconscious patternings that makes it highl% probable that the% will fail. Ghen therapists begin to do therap% the% look for what.s wrong in a content9oriented wa%. )he% want to know what the problem is so that the% can help people find solutions. )his is true whether the% ha$e been trained o$ertl% or co$ertl%, in academic institutions or in rooms with pillows on the floor. )his is e$en true of those who consider themsel$es to be "process0oriented." )here.s a little

$oice someiwhere in their mind that keeps sa%ing ?The process. 7oo3 for the process.? )he% will sa% "Gell, I.m a process0oriented therapist. I work with the process." (omehow the process has become an e$enta thing in and of itself. )here is another paradoF in the field. )he hugest ma#orit% of therapists belie$e that the wa% to be a good therapist is to do e$er%thing %ou do intuiti$el%, which means to ha$e an unconscious mind that does it for %ou. )he% wouldn.t describe it that wa% because the% don.t like the word "unconscious" but basicall% the% do what the% do without knowing how the% do it. )he% do it b% the "seat of their pants"that.s another wa% to sa% "unconscious mind." I think being able to do things unconsciousl% is usefulC that.s a good wa% to do things. )he same group of people, howe$er, say that the ultimate goal of therap% is for people to ha$e conscious understandinginsight into their own problems. (o therapists are a group of people who do what the% do without knowing how it works, and at the same time belie$e that the wa% to reall% get somewhere in life is to consciousl% know how things work/ @ Ghen I first got in$ol$ed with modeling people in the field of ps%chotherap%, I would ask them what outcome the% were working toward when the% made a maneu$er, when the% reached o$er and touched a person this wa%, or when the% shifted their $oice tone here. And their answer was "'h, I ha$e no idea." I.d sa% "Gell, good. Are %ou interested in eFploring and finding out with me what the outcome wasI" And the% would sa% "Definitel% not/" )he% claimed that if the% did specific things to get specific outcomes that would be something bad, called "manipulating." Ge call oursel$es modelers. Ghat we essentiall% do is to pa% $er% little attention to what people say the% do and a great deal of attention to what the% do. And then we build oursel$es a model of what the% do. Ge are not ps%chologists, and we.re also not theologians or theoreticians. Ge ha$e no idea about the "real" nature of things, and we.re not particularl% interested in what.s "true." )he function of modeling is to arri$e at descriptions which are useful. (o, if we happen to mention something that %ou know from a scientific stud%, or from statistics, is inaccurate, reali2e that a different le$el of eFperience is being offered %ou here. Ge.re not offering %ou something that.s true, #ust things that are useful. Ge know that our modeling has been successful when we can s%stematicall% get the same beha$ioral outcome as the person we ha$e modeled. And when we can teach somebod% else to be able to get the same outcomes in a s%stematic wa%, that.s an e$en stronger test. Ghen I entered the field of communication, I went to a large conference where there were siF hundred and fift% people in an auditorium. And a man who was $er% famous got up and made the following statement7 "Ghat all of %ou need to understand about doing therap% and about communication is that the first essential step is to make contact with the human %ou are communicating with as a person." Gell, that struck me as being kind of ob$ious. And e$er%bod% in the audience went "Eeahhhh/ 6ake contact. Ge all know about that one." Now, he went on to talk for another siF hours and ne$er mentioned how. ,e ne$er mentioned one single specific thing that an%bod% in that room could do that would help them in an% wa% to either ha$e the eFperience of understanding that person better, or at least gi$e the other person the illusion that the% were understood. I then went to something called "Acti$e istening." In acti$e listening %ou rephrase what e$er%one sa%s, which means that %ou = distort e$er%thing the% sa%. )hen we began to pa% attention to what reall% di$ergent people who were "wi2ards" actuall% do. Ghen %ou watch and listen to Hirginia (atir and 6ilton Erickson do therap%, the% apparently could not be more different. At least I couldn.t figure out a wa% that the% could appear more different.

!eople also report that the eFperiences of being with them are profoundl% different. ,owe$er, if %ou eFamine their beha$ior and the essential ke% patterns and se"uences of what the% do, the% are similar. )he patterns that the% use to accomplish the rather dramatic things that the% are able to accomplish are $er% similar in our wa% of understanding. Ghat the% accomplish is the same. -ut the wa% it.s pac3aged<the wa% the% come acrossis profoundl% different. )he same was true of 1rit2 !eris. ,e was not "uite as sophisticated as (atir and Erickson in the number of patterns he used. -ut when he was operating in what I consider a powerful and effecti$e wa%, he was using the same se"uences of patterns that %ou will find in their work. 1rit2 t%picall% did not go after specific outcomes. If somebod% came in and said "I ha$e h%sterical paral%sis of the left leg," he wouldn.t go after it directl%. (ometimes he would get it and sometimes he wouldn.t. -oth 6ilton and Hirginia ha$e a tendenc% to go straight for producing specific outcomes, something I reall% respect. Ghen I wanted to learn to do therap%, I went to a month0long workshop, a situation where %ou are locked up on an island and eFposed e$er% da% to the same kinds of eFperiences and hope that somehow or other %ou will pick them up. )he leader had lots and lots of eFperience, and he could do things that none of us could do. -ut when he tal3ed about the things he did, people there wouldn.t be able to learn to do them. Intuiti$el%, or what we describe as unconsciousl%, his beha$ior was s%stematic, but he didn.t ha$e a conscious understanding of how it was s%stematic. )hat is a compliment to his fleFibilit% and abilit% to discern what works. 1or eFample, %ou all know $er%, $er% little about how %ou are able to generate language. (omehow or other as %ou speak %ou are able to create compleF pieces of s%ntaF, and I know that %ou don.t make an% conscious decisions. Eou don.t go "Gell, I.m going to speak, and first I.ll put a noun in the sentence, then I.ll throw an ad#ecti$e in, then a $erb, and ma%be a little ad$erb at the end, %ou know, #ust to color it up a little bit." Eet %ou speak a language that has grammar and s%ntaF 9 rules that are as mathematical and as eFplicit as an% calculus. )here.s a group of people called transformational linguists who ha$e managed to take large amounts of taF dollars and academic space and figure out what those rules are. )he% ha$en.t figured out an%thing to do with that %et, but transformational grammarians are unconcerned with that. )he% are not interested in the real world, and ha$ing li$ed in it I can sometimes understand wh%. Ghen it comes to language, we.re all wired the same. ,umans ha$e prett% much the same intuitions about the same kinds of phenomena in lots and lots of different languages. If I sa% "Eou that look understand idea can," %ou ha$e a $er% different intuition than if I sa% " ook, %ou can understand that idea," e$en though the words are the same. )here.s a part of %ou at the unconscious le$el that tells %ou that one of those sentences is well0formed in a wa% that the other is not. 'ur #ob as modelers is to do a similar task for other things that are more practical. 'ur #ob is to figure out what it is that effecti$e therapists do intuiti$el% or unconsciousl%, and to make up some rules that can be taught to someone else. Now, what t%picall% happens when %ou go to a seminar is that the leader will sa% "All %ou reall% need to do, in order to do what I do as a great communicator, is to pa% attention to %our guts." And that.s true, JJ%ou happen to ha$e the things in %our guts that that leader does. 6% guess is %ou probabl% don.t. Eou can ha$e them there at the unconscious le$el, but I think that if %ou want to ha$e the same intuitions as somebod% like Erickson or (atir or !eris, %ou need to go through a training period to learn to ha$e similar intuitions. 'nce %ou go through a conscious training period, %ou can ha$e therapeutic intuitions that are as unconscious and s%stematic as %our intuitions about language. If %ou watch and listen to Hirginia (atir work %ou are confronted with an o$erwhelming mass of informationthe wa% she mo$es, her $oice tone, the wa% she touches, who she turns

to neFt, what sensor% cues she is using to orient herself to which member of the famil%, etc. It.s a reall% o$erwhelming task to attempt to keep track of all the things that she is using as cues, the responses that she is making to those cues, and the responses she elicits from others. Now, we don.t know what Hirginia (atir really does with families. ,owe$er, we can describe her beha$ior in such a wa% that we can come to an% one of %ou and sa% ",ere. )ake this. Do these things in this :8 se"uence. !ractice until it becomes a s%stematic part of %our unconscious beha$ior, and %ou will end up being able to elicit the same responses that Hirginia elicits." Ge do not test the description we arri$e at for accurac%, or how it fits with neurological data, or statistics about what should be going on. All we do in order to understand whether our description is an ade"uate model for what we are doing is to find out whether it works or not7 are %ou able to eFhibit effecti$el% in %our beha$ior the same patterns that Hirginia eFhibits in hers, and get the same resultsI Ge will be making statements up here which ma% ha$e no relationship to the "truth," to what.s "reall% going on." Ge do know, howe$er, that the model that we ha$e made up of her beha$ior has been effecti$e. After being eFposed to it and practicing the patterns and the descriptions that we ha$e offered, people.s beha$ior changes in wa%s that make them effecti$e in the same wa% that (atir is, %et each person.s st%le is uni"ue. If %ou learn to speak 1rench, %ou will still eFpress %ourself in %our own wa%. Eou can use %our consciousness to decide to gain a certain skill which %ou think would be useful in the conteFt of %our professional and personal work. Dsing our models %ou can practice that skill. ,a$ing practiced that consciousl% for some period of time %ou can allow that skill to function unconsciousl%. Eou all had to consciousl% practice all the skills in$ol$ed in dri$ing a car. Now %ou can dri$e a long distance and not be conscious df an% of it, unless there.s some uni"ue situation that re"uires %our attention. 'ne of the s%stematic things that Erickson and (atir and a lot of other effecti$e therapists do is to notice unconsciousl% how the person the% are talking to thinks, and make use of that information in lots and lots of different wa%s. 1or eFample, if I.m a client of Hirginia.s I might go7 "Gell, man, Hirginia, %ou know I #ust ah ... bo%/ )hings ha$e been, the%.$e been hea$%, %ou know. &ust, %ou know, m% wife was... m% wife was run o$er b% a snail and... %ou know, I.$e got four kids and two of them are gangsters and I think ma%be I did something wrong but I #ust can.t get a grasp on what it was,"

I don.t know if %ou.$e e$er had the opportunit% to watch Hirginia operate, but she operates $er%, $er% nicel%. Ghat she does is $er%
magical, e$en though I belie$e that magic has a structure and is a$ailable to all of %ou. 'ne of the things that she would do in her response would be to #oin this client in his model of the world b% responding in somewhat the following wa%7 "I understand that %ou feel certain weight upon %ou, and these kinds of feelings that %ou ha$e in %our bod% aren.t what %ou want for %ourself as a human being. Eou ha$e different kinds of hopes for this." It doesn.t reall% matter what she sa%s, as long as she uses the same kinds of words and tonal patterns. If the same client were to go to another therapist, the dialogue might go like this7

::

"Gell, %ou know, things feel real hea$% in m% life, Dr. ,andler. Eou know, it.s #ust like I cant handle it, %ou know ..." "I can see that, 6r. Grinder." "I feel like I did something wrong with m% children and I don.t know what it is. And I thought ma%be %ou could help me grasp it, %ou knowI" "(ure. I see what it is %ou.re talking about. et.s focus in on one particular dimension. )r% to gi$e me your particular perspecti$e. )ell me how it is that %ou see %our situation right now." "Gell, %ou know, I #ust... I.m... I #ust feel like I cant get a grasp on realit%." "I can see that. Ghat.s important to mecolorful as %our description iswhat.s important to me is that we see e%e to e%e about where it is down the road that we shall tra$el together." "I.m tr%ing to tell %ou that m% life has got a lot of rough edges, %ou know. And I.m tr%ing to find a wa%...." "It looks all broken up from... from %our description, at an% rate. )he colors aren.t all that nice." Ghile %ou sit here and laugh, we can.t e$en get as eFaggerated as what we.$e heard in "real life." Ge spent a lot of time going around to mental health clinics and sitting in on professional communicators. It.s $er% depressing. And what we noticed is that man% therapists mismatch in the same wa% that we #ust demonstrated. Ge come from +alifornia and the whole world out there is run b% :; electronics firms. Ge ha$e a lot of people who are called "engineers," and engineers t%picall% at a certain point ha$e to go to therap%. It.s a rule, I don.t know wh%, but the% come in and the% usuall% all sa% the same thing, the% go7

"Gell, I could see for a long time how, %ou know, I was reall% climbing up and becoming successful and then suddenl%, %ou know, when I began to get towards the top, I #ust looked around and m% life looked empt%. +an %ou see thatI I mean, could %ou see what that would be like for a man of m% ageI" "Gell, I.m beginning to get a sense of grasping the essence of the kinds of feelings that %ou ha$e that %ou want to change." "&ust a minute, because what I want to do is I.m tr%ing to show %ou m% perspecti$e on the whole thing. And, %ou know" "I feel that this is $er% important." "And I know that a lot of people ha$e a lot of troubles, but what I want to do is to gi$e %ou a really clear idea of what I see the problem is, so that, %ou know, %ou can show me, sort of frame b% frame, what I need to 3now in order to find m% wa% out of this difficult% because "uite frankl% I could get $er% depressed about this. I mean, can %ou see how that would beI" "I feel that this is $er% important. Eou ha$e raised certain issues here which I feel that we ha$e to come to grips with. And it.s onl% a "uestion of selecting where we.ll grab a handle and begin to work in a comfortable but powerful wa% upon this." "Ghat I.d reall% like is %our point of $iew." "Gell, I don.t want %ou to a$oid an% of those feelings. &ust go ahead and let them flow up and knock the hell out of the picture that %ou.$e got there." "I... I don.t see that this is getting us an%where." "I feel that we ha$e hit a rough spot in the relationship. Are %ou willing to talk about %our resistanceI"

Do %ou happen to notice an% pattern in these dialoguesI Ge watched therapists do this for two or three da%s, and we noticed that (atir did it the other wa% around7 ;he matched the client. -ut most therapists don.t. Ge ha$e noticed this peculiar trait about human beings. If the% find something the% can do that doesn.t work, the% do it again. -. 1.

:B (kinner had a group of students who had done a lot of research with rats and ma2es. And somebod% asked them one da% "Ghat is the real difference between a rat and a human beingI" Now, beha$iorists not being terribl% obser$ant, decided that the% needed to eFperiment to find out. )he% built a huge ma2e that was scaled up for a human. )he% took a control group of rats and taught them to run a small ma2e for cheese. And the% took the humans and taught them to run the large ma2e for fi$e0dollar bills. )he% didn.t notice an% reall% significant difference. )here were small $ariations in the data and at the 9AK probabilit% le$el the% disco$ered some significant difference in the number of trials to criterion or something. )he humans were able to learn to run the ma2e somewhat better, a little bit "uicker, than the rats. )he reall% interesting statistics came up when the% did the eFtinguishing part. )he% remo$ed the fi$e0dollar bills and the cheese and after a certain number of trials the rats stopped running the ma2e.... ,owe$er, the humans ne$er stopped/... )he% are still there/ ... )he% break into the labs at night. 'ne of the operating procedures of most disciplines that allows a field to grow and to continue to de$elop at a rapid rate is a rule that if what %ou do doesn.t work, do something else. If %ou are an engineer and %ou get the rocket all set up, and %ou push the button and it doesn.t lift up, %ou alter %our beha$ior to find out what %ou need to do to make certain changes to o$ercome gra$it%. ,owe$er, in the field of ps%chotherap%, if %ou encounter a situation where the rocket doesn.t go off, it has a special nameC it.s called ha$ing a "resistant client." Eou take the fact that what %ou do doesn.t work and %ou blame it on the client. )hat relie$es %ou of the responsibilit% of ha$ing to change %our beha$ior. 'r if %ou are slightl% more humanistic about it, %ou "share in the guilt of the failure" or sa% he "wasn.t read%." Another problem is that the field of pschotherap% keeps de$eloping the same things o$er and o$er and o$er again. Ghat 1rit2 did and what Hirginia does has been done before. )he concepts that are used in )ransactional Anal%sis 4)A5"redecision" for eFampleare a$ail0 able in 1reud.s work. )he interesting thing is that in ps%chotherap% the knowlege doesn.t get transferred. Ghen humans learned to read and write and to communicate to one another somewhat, that knowledge began to speed up the rate of de$elopment. If we teach someone electronics, we train them in all the :> things that ha$e alread% been disco$ered so that the% can go on and disco$er new things. Ghat happens in ps%chotherap%, howe$er, is that we send people to school instead. And when the% come out of school, then the% ha$e to learn to do therap%. Not onl% do the% ha$e to learn to do therap%, but there.s no way to learn to do therap%. (o what we do is we gi$e them clients, and we call what the% do "pri$ate practice" so the% can practice pri$atel%. In linguistics there.s a distinction called nominali2ation. Nominali02ation is where %ou take a process and %ou describe it as if it.s an e$ent or a thing. In this wa% %ou utterl% confuse those around %ou, and %ourselfunless %ou remember that it is a representation rather than eFperience. )his can ha$e positi$e uses. If %ou happen to be a go$ernment, %ou can talk about nominali2ations like "national securit%" and %ou can get people to worr% about those

words. 'ur president #ust went to Eg%pt and changed the word "imperati$e" to the word "desirable" and suddenl% we.re friends with Eg%pt again. All he did was change a word. )hat.s word magic. )he word "resistance" is also a nominali2ation. It.s describing a process as a thing without talking about how it wor3s. )he earnest, concerned, authentic therapist in the last dialogue would describe the client as being callous and insensiti$e, so totall% out of touch with his feelings that he could not communicate effecti$el% with him. )hat client was reall% resistant. And the client would be out looking for another therapist because that therapist needed glasses. ,e had absolutel% no perspecti$e at all. ,e couldn.t see e%e to e%e with him at all/ And the% would both be right, of course. Now, is there an%one here who hasn.t %et identified the pattern that we.re talking aboutI -ecause it reall% was the beginning point for us. Goman7 Ah, in the last dialogue the client was using $isual words like "look, see, show, focus, perspecti$e." And the therapist was using feeling words like "grasp, handle, feel, smooth, rough." 3ight. And there are also some people who use mostl% auditor% words7 "I hear what %ou.re sa%ing,"")hat rings a bell,""I can resonate with that," etc. Ghat we noticed is that different people actuall% think differentl%, and that these differences correspond to the three principal senses7 $ision, hearing, and feelingwhich we call kinesthetics. Ghen %ou make initial contact with a person sJhe will probabl% be :A thinking in one of these three main representational systems. Internall% sJhe will either be generating $isual images, ha$ing feelings, or talking to themsel$es and hearing sounds. 'ne of the wa%s %ou can know this is b% listening to the kinds of process words 4the predicates7 $erbs, ad$erbs and ad#ecti$es5 that the person uses to describe hisJher eFperience. If %ou pa% attention to that information, %ou can ad#ust %our own beha$ior to get the response %ou want. If %ou want to get good rapport, %ou can speak using the same kind of predicates that the other person is using. If %ou want to alienate the other person, %ou can deliberatel% mismatch predicates, as we did in the earlier client0therapist dialogues. et me talk a little about how language works. If I look at %ou and sa% "Are %ou comfortableI" %ou can come up with a response. )he presupposition of %our being able to respond congruentl% to m% "uestion is that %ou understand the words that I am speaking. Do %ou know how %ou understand the word "comfortable" for eFampleI Goman7 !h%sicall%. Eou understand it ph%sicall%. Eou sense some change in %our bod% which is distincti$e. )hat shift in %our feeling state is distincti$e from "terrified." )hat.s a different response. (he senses a change in her bod% as a wa% of understanding the meaning of the word "comfortable." Did an%bod% else notice how the% understand itI (ome of %ou will see $isual images of %ourself in a comfortable position7 l%ing in a hammock, or l%ing on the grass in the sunshine. And a few of %ou ma% e$en hear the sounds which %ou associate with comfort7 the babbling of a brook, or wind blowing through some pine trees. In order for %ou to understand what I am sa%ing to %ou, %ou ha$e to take the wordswhich are nothing more than arbitrar% labels for parts of %our personal histor%and access the meaning, namel%, some set of images, some set of feelings, or some set of sounds, which are the meaning for %ou of the word "comfortable. ")hat.s a simple notion of how language works, and we call this process transderi#ational search. Gords are triggers that tend to bring into %our consciousness certain parts of %our eFperience and not other parts. Eskimos ha$e some se$ent% words for snow. Now, does that mean that people who are raised in a tribe called Eskimos ha$e different sensor% apparatus than we doI No. 6%

understanding is that language is the accumulated wisdom of a group of people. 'ut of a potentiall% :< infinite amount of sensor% eFperience, language picks out those things which are repetiti$e in the eFperience of the people de$eloping the language and that the% ha$e found useful to attend to in consciousness. It.s not surprising that the Eskimos ha$e se$ent%0some words for snow in terms of where the% li$e and the kinds of tasks the% ha$e to perform. 1or them, sur$i$al is an issue closel% connected with snow, and therefore the% make $er% fine distinctions. (kiers also ha$e man% different words for different kinds of snow. As Aldous ,uFle% sa%s in his book The oors of Perception, when %ou learn a language, %ou are an inheritor of the wisdom of the people who ha$e gone before %ou. Eou are also a #ictim in this sense7 of that infinite set of eFperiences %ou could ha$e had, certain ones are gi$en names, labeled with words, and thereb% are emphasi2ed and attract %our attention. E"uall% $alid possibl% e$en more dramatic and usefuleFperiences at the sensor% le$el which are unlabeled, t%picall% don.t intrude into %our consciousness. )here is alwa%s a slippage between primar% and secondar% representation. )here.s a difference between eFperience and the wa%s of representing eFperience to %ourself. 'ne of the least immediate wa%s of representing eFperiences is with words. If I sa% to %ou ")his particular table right here has a glass of water partiall% filled sitting on top of it," I ha$e offered %ou a string of words, arbitrar% s%mbols. Ge can both agree or disagree about the statement because I.m appealing directl% to %our sensor% eFperience. If I use an% words that don.t ha$e direct sensor% referents, the onl% wa% %ou can understand thoseunless %ou ha$e some program to demand more sensor%0based descriptionsis for %ou to find the counterpart in %our past eFperience. Eour eFperience will o$erlap with mine to the degree that we share a culture, that we share certain kinds of backgrounds. Gords ha$e to be relati$i2ed to the world model of the person %ou are talking to. )he word "rapport" for a ghetto person, "rapport" for a white middle0class person, and "rapport" for someone in the top one hundred families in this countr%, are #ery, #ery different phenomena. )here.s an illusion that people understand each other when the% can repeat the same words. -ut since those words internall% access different eFperiences which the% mustthen there.s alwa%s going to be a difference in meaning. )here.s a slippage between the word and the eFperience, and there.s :@ also a slippage between my corresponding eFperience for a word and your corresponding eFperience for the same word. I think it.s eFtremel% useful for %ou to beha$e so that %our clients come to ha$e the illusion that %ou understand what the% are sa%ing $erball%. I caution %ou against accepting the illusion for %ourself. 6an% of %ou probabl% ha$e intuitions about %our clients when %ou first meet them. )here ma% be a certain t%pe of client that comes into %our office and e$en before the% speak %ou look up and %ou 3now that one.s going to be hard, that one.s going to be reall% difficult. It.s going to be a rather tedious and long0range pro#ect for %ou to assist that person in getting the choices the% want, e$en though %ou don.t know what those are %et. At other times, before a new client e$en speaks, %ou know it will be interesting, it will be a delight. )here will be a spark there, there will be a sense of eFcitement and ad$enture as %ou lead this person to some new beha$ior patterns to get what it is that the% came for. ,ow man% of %ou ha$e intuitions like thatI et me ha$e a $olunteer. Do %ou know when %ou ha$e the intuition that %ou are ha$ing itI Goman7 Dmhm. Ghat is that eFperienceI... Ge.ll help %ou. (tart b% listening to the "uestion. )he "uestion I.m asking %ou is one that I.d like to train %ou all to ask. )he "uestion is ?=ow do you 3now when %ou are ha$ing an

intuitionI" 4(he looks up and to her left.5 Ees, that.s how %ou know. (he didn.t say an%thingC that is the interesting thing. (he #ust went through a process non0 $erball% in responding to the "uestion that I asked her. )hat process is a replica of the process she actuall% goes through when she has the intuition, and it was the answer to the "uestion. If %ou take nothing else awa% from this workshop, take awa% the following7 6ou will always get answers to your >uestions insofar as you ha#e the sensory apparatus to notice the responses. And rarel% will the $erbal or conscious part of the response be rele$ant. Now let.s go back and demonstrate again. ,ow do %ou know when %ou are ha$ing an intuitionI Goman7 Gell, let me take it back to the dialogue here earlier.... I was tr%ing to put that into some form. And what it was for me was the s%mbol of Ghat kind of a s%mbolI Is this something %ou saw, heard, or feltI := I saw it in m% head as #ust Ees. Eou saw it in %our head. It was a picture. Now, all the information that she #ust offered us $erball% is wholl% redundant if %ou were in a position to be able to watch her non0$erbal response to the initial "uestion. E$er%thing that she #ust presented $erball% was presented in a much more refined wa% non0$erball%. If %ou clean up %our sensor% channels and attend to sensor% eFperience, when %ou make a statement or ask a human being a "uestion the% will alwa%s gi$e %ou the answer non0$erball%, whether or not the% are able to consciousl% eFpress what it is. )he information about representational s%stems comes through in lots and lots of different wa%s. )he easiest wa% to begin to train %our senses is this7 people make mo$ements with their e%es which will indicate to %ou which representational s%stem the% are using. Ghen somebod% walks into %our office, the% are planning what the% are going to do. )he% are either $isuali2ing, or the% are telling themsel$es what the% are going to sa%, or the% are pa%ing attention to the feelings that the% want to describe to %ou. Ghen the% do that, the% go inside and the% access that information, and the% make t%pical gestures that e$er% one of %ou knows about unconsciousl%, and %et through the whole histor% of ps%cholog% no one has e$er eFplicitl% described. 1or eFample, I.ll name a standard one. Eou ask somebod% a "uestion. )he% sa% ",m, let.s see," and the% look up and to their left, and tilt their head in the same direction. Ghen people look up, the% are making pictures internall%. Do %ou belie$e thatI It.s a lie, %ou know. E$er%thing we.re going to tell %ou here is a lie. All generali2ations are lies. (ince we ha$e no claim on truth or accurac%, we will be l%ing to %ou consistentl% throughout this seminar. )here are onl% two differences between us and other teachers7 'ne is that we announce at the beginning of our seminars that e$er%thing we sa% will be a lie, and other teachers do not. 6ost of them belie$e their lies. )he% don.t reali2e that the% are made up. )he other difference is that most of our lies will work out reall% well if %ou act as #Jthe% are true. As modelers, we.re not interested in whether what we offer %ou is true or not, whether it.s accurate or whether it can be neurologicall% pro$en to be accurate, an actual representation of the world. Ge.re only interested in what wor3s. et me ha$e three $olunteers to come up here.... :9 Ghat I.m going to do neFt is to ask 1ran and ,ar$e% and (usan up here some "uestions. All I want %ou out there to do is to clear %our sensor% apparatus. Eou could sit there and make images about what something is reminding %ou of, or %ou could talk to %ourself about such

things, or %ou could ha$e feelings about what.s going on. )his is what I am proposing %ou adopt as a learning strateg% for the neFt few minutes7 simpl% clear all %our internal eFperience. Luiet the internal dialogue, check and make sure that %our bod% is in a comfortable position so that %ou can lea$e it there for a while, and dont make internal images. (impl% notice with %our sensor% apparatus what relationship %ou can disco$er between the "uestions I.m going to ask of these three people and the responses the% make non0$erball%. I would like %ou to pa% particularl% close attention to the mo$ements and changes in their e%es. )here are lots of other things going on which will be useful for us to talk about at some other time. At this time we simpl% want %ou to pa% attention to that part of their non$erbal response. I.ll #ust ask the three of %ou up here some "uestions. I.d like %ou to find the answers to those "uestions, but don.t $erbali2e the answers. Ghen %ou are satisfied that %ou know what the answer is, or %ou.$e decided after searching that %ou don.t know what the answer is, stop. Eou don.t ha$e to gi$e me an% $erbal outputC %ou keep the answers to %ourself. In the Dnited (tates there.s an interesting phenomenon called "traffic lights." Is the red or the green at the top of the traffic lightI... Ghen %ou came here toda%, how man% traffic lights did %ou pass between where %ou started %our trip and arri$ing here at the hotelI.. .Ghat color are %our mother.s e%esI... ,ow man% different colored carpets did %ou ha$e in the last place %ou li$edI 41ran stares straight ahead in response to each "uestionC ,ar$e% looks up and to his leftC (usan looks up and to her right, or sometimes straight ahead.5 Now, ha$e %ou noticed an% mo$ements in their e%esI Do %ou see s%stematic shifts thereI '*. (tore that information for a moment. )hese are compleF human beings, and the% are gi$ing more than one response. ,owe$er, notice what is common about the responses the% ga$e to that set of "uestions. I.m going to shift the "uestions a little bit and I want %ou to notice if there is a s%stematic difference in the wa% the% respond. )hink of %our fa$orite piece of music..., Ghat is the letter in the

alphabet #ust before 3I... +an %ou hear %our mother.s $oiceI 41ran and ,ar$e% look down and to their left as the% access information after each "uestionC (usan looks down and to her right.5 Now, there was a difference between the last set of responses and the pre$ious set. Now I.m going to shift m% "uestions again. Do %ou know the feeling of water swirling around %our bod% when %ou swimI... Ghat happens in winter when %ou are in a nice, warm, co2% house, and %ou walk out into the cold air outsideI... 41ran and ,ar$e% look down and to their right while accessing the answer to each "uestionC (usan looks down and to her left.5 +an %ou make a connection between the classes of "uestions I was asking and the kind of mo$ements that %ou were seeingI Ghat did %ou actuall% see in %our sensor% eFperience when I asked the "uestionsI 6an7 I noticed especiall% that when it seemed like (usan was picturing something, she would look up. And then there were times when she would look straight ahead. '*. I agree with %ou. ,ow do %ou know when she was picturing somethingI )hat.s an assumption on %our part. Ghat were the "uestions that I was asking that those mo$ements were responses toI 6an7 )he color of e%es. ,ow man% lightslike she was picturing the intersections. (o the "uestions I was asking demanded $isual information b% presupposition. And the responses %ou noticed were a lot of up mo$ements. Did %ou notice an% preference as to sideI Goman7 (usan looked to her right. (he looked to her right because she is left0handed.

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-ecause she.s left0handed (usan looks to her rightI (he doesnt alwa%s look to her right. Gatch this. (usan, do %ou know what %ou would look like with long flaming red hairI... Do %ou know what %ou would look like if %ou had a beardI... Do %ou know what %ou look like sitting right hereI... 4,er e%es mo$e up and to her left.5 Ghich wa% did her e%es go that timeI Distinguish left and right with respect to her. Eou said that she t%picall% went up to her right in answering the pre$ious $isuall%0oriented "uestions. Ghat mo$ement did %ou see with her e%es #ust now, in response to the last "uestionsI )his time her e%es dilated and mo$ed up to her left and back. (o she doesn.t alwa%s look up and to her right. (he sometimes looks up and to her left. )here.s a s%stematic difference between the ;: kind of "uestions I asked #ust now, and the kind of $isual "uestions I was asking before. +an %ou describe the differenceI Goman7 )he first "uestions had to do with eFperiences she was remembering, and the second group she had not eFperienced and was tr%ing to $isuali2e. EFcellent. )he first set of pictures we call eidetic or remembered images, and the second set we call constructed images. (he.s ne$er seen herself sitting here in this chair in this room. It.s something she has had no direct $isual eFperience of, therefore she has to construct the image in order to see what it is that she would look like. 6ost "normall% organi2ed" right0handed people will show the opposite of what we.$e seen with (usan here. (usan is left0handed and her $isual accessing cues are re$ersed left to right. 6ost people look up and to their left for $isual eidetic images and up and to their right for constructed $isual images. ,owe$er, lots of normall% organi2ed right0handers will look up and to their right as the% respond to "uestions about $isual memor%. -arbara, here in the audience, looked up and to her right to recall something a few moments ago. Do %ou remember what it was %ou saw up thereI -arbara7 No. Do %ou remember one of the houses %ou li$ed in as a childI -arbara7 Ees, I do. (he #ust went up and to her right again. Ghat did %ou see, -arbaraI Name one thing %ou saw. -arbara7 I saw the li$ing room. I.m going to predict that the li$ing room that %ou saw was peculiar in a specific wa%. I want %ou to check this and let me know whether m% statements are accurate. )he li$ing room %ou saw was suspended in space. It wasn.t bounded in the wa% it would be bounded $isuall% if %ou were actuall% inside of that li$ing room. It was an image which %ou had ne$er seen before because it was a fragment of a set of images %ou.d seen lots of times in the past. It was not a $isual input that %ou.$e e$er had directl%. It was literall% eFtracted, a piece of a picture eFtracted from some part of %our eFperience and displa%ed separatel%. Is that accurateI -arbara7 Ees. Ghen %ou ask $isual .memor% "uestions and a person looks up to their right, %ou cannot conclude that the% are left0handed or that their ;; accessing cues are re$ersed. All %ou can conclude is that the% looked up and to their right. If %ou want to eFplore it further, there are a couple of possibilities. 'ne is what.s true of (usan namel%, that she has re$ersed cerebral organi2ation. )he other possibilit% is that the% could be constructing images of the past, as is true of -arbara. If that is so, the images will not ha$e the color, the detail, the conteFtual markers, or the $isual background that an actual eidetic remembered image has. )hat is an important difference. Ghen -arbara recalls images, she recalls them outside of conteFt, which is characteristic

of constructed images. -% the wa%, she will argue about the past with people a lotespeciall% with someone who remembers eideticall%. (all%7 I didn.t see 1ran.s e%es going up or down, #ust straight. '*. Gas there an% marked difference between the wa% she was looking straight at me before I asked a "uestion and the wa% she continued to look straight at me after I.d asked the "uestionI Did %ou notice an% changeI (all%7 Ees. (he looked more pensi$e then. "!ensi$e." Ghat looks like "pensi$e" to %ou and what looks like "pensi$e" to me ma% be totally different kinds of eFperiences. "!ensi$e" is a compleF #udgement about eFperienceC it.s not in %our sensor% eFperience. I.m sure that "pensi$e" has appropriate meaning for %ou, and that %ou can connectC it with %our sensor% eFperience easil%. (o could %ou describe, so that we could agree or disagree, what %ou actuall% saw, as opposed to the #udgement that she was being "pensi$e"I As we said before, all these "uestions are being answered before the $erbali2ation. (o if %ou ha$e the opportunit% to watch an%one we.re communicating with directl%, %ou will alwa%s get the answer before the% offer it to %ou $erball%. I #ust asked (all% to describe something, and she demonstrated non0$erball% what she saw. (he mirrored in her own mo$ements what 1ran was doing. (all%, do %ou remember the feeling of what %ou #ust didI (all%7 6% e%es kind of closed a little. (o %our e%elids dropped a little bit. Is there an%thing else that %ou could detect either from what %ou felt %our e%es doing or from remembering what 1ran was doingI... ,a$e %ou e$er had the eFperience in a con$ersation that the other person.s e%es are still resting on %our face but somehow suddenl% %ou are all b% %ourselfI Eou are all aloneI )hat.s what was going on here. In ;B both of these cases the pupils dilated and the facial muscles relaFed. If %ou ha$e trouble seeing pupil dilation, I belie$e that.s not a statement about pupil dilationC it.s a statement about %our own perceptual programs. And I.m not talking about whether %ou ha$e ;8J;8 $ision or ;8J;888 $ision with correcti$e lenses. Eour abilit% to percei$e is something that is learned and %ou can learn to do it better. 6ost people act as if their senses are simpl% passi$e receptacles into which the world dumps $ast amounts of information. )here is a $ast amount of information, so $ast that %ou can onl% represent a tin% fraction of it. Eou learn to acti$el% select in useful wa%s. (o what well ask %ou to do in a few minutes is to change %our perceptual programs to determine 4:5 whether the patterns we.re talking about eFist, and 4;5 whether the% can be useful. Ge.re going to proceed in that step0wise fashion. Ge.re going to rel% on whate$er rapport we ha$e with %ou to get %ou to do an eFercise in which %ou disco$er for %ourself, using %our own sensor% apparatus, whether in fact these things we.re talking about are there. )hen well talk about how to use them because that.s the reall% important thing. )he ultimate "uestion is whether this is worth knowing about. et me reassure %ou that if %ou ha$e patterns of communication that work for %ou now in therap% or education or business, those skills will still be a$ailable to %ou when we finish this seminar. I guarantee %ou that much. Ge.re not going to do an%thing to take choices awa%. Ge would like %ou to consider a new approach. 6% guess is that some of %ou are "uite effecti$e and competent communicators therapeuticall%. Eou get results and %ou.re pleased with them, and it.s a challenge, and %ou like %our #ob, at least some of the time. -ut e$en in the cases where %ou do $er%, $er% well indeed, %ou get bored from time to time. )here.s a tendenc% for %ou to repeat some set of inter$entions that %ou.$e made in the past which were successful, hoping for success again in the present. I think one of the most dangerous eFperiences human beings can ha$e is

successespeciall% if %ou ha$e success earl% in %our careerbecause %ou tend to become "uite superstitious and repetitious. It.s the old fi$e0dollar bill at the end of the ma2e. 1or eFample, sa% %ou once had somebod% talk to an empt% chair and $isuali2e their mother in that chair and the% dramaticall% changed. Eou might decide that e$er% therapist in the countr% ought to do that, when in fact that.s onl% one of a m%riad wa%s of going about accomplishing the same result. 1or those of %ou who are doubtful, and those who ha$e skeptical ;> parts, we would like to ask %ouand this is true for all of the lies we are going to tell %outo do the following7 accept our lie for a limited period of time, namel% during the eFercise that follows our description of the pattern we claim eFists. In this wa% %ou can use %our own sensor% eFperiencenot the cra2% $erbali2ations we offer %outo decide whether in fact the things we describe can be obser$ed in the beha$ior of the person %ou.re communicating with. Ge.re making the claim right now that %ou He missed something that was totall% ob$ious. Ge.re claiming that %ou ha$e been speaking to people %our whole life and the%.$e been going "Gell, the wa% it looks to me..." 4looks up and to his left5, "I tell m%self..." 4looks down and to his left5, "I #ust feel..." 4looks down and to his right5and %ou ha$en.t consciousl% noticed that. !eople ha$e been doing this s%stematicall% through a hundred %ears of modern ps%cholog% and communication theor% and %ou.$e all been the $ictims of a set of cultural patterns which didn.t allow %ou to notice and respond directl% and effecti$el% to those cues. Accessing &ues E+ercise8 1ind someone %ou don.t know, or %ou know minimall%. 'ne of %ou is going to be A and one of %ou is going to be -. A will begin asking "uestions. 6ake the task of learning this relati$el% simple for %ourself b% organi2ing %our "uestions into sets the wa% I did. (tart out b% asking $isual eidetic "uestions7 Ghat color are the carpets in %our carI Ghat color are %our mother.s e%esI Ghat shape are the letters on the sign on the outside of this buildingI All of those are "uestions about things that people here ha$e seen before. )hen ask "uestions about things that the person has not seen and will ha$e to construct7 ,ow would %ou look from m% point of $iewI ,ow would %ou look with purple hairI )hen ask auditor% "uestions7 Ghat.s %our fa$orite kind of musicI Ghich door in %our house sounds the loudest when it.s slammedI +an %ou hear somebod% $er% special that %ou are close to sa%ing %our name in a particularl% delightful wa%I +an %ou hear %ourself sing "6ar% ,ad a ittle amb"I )hose are all wa%s of accessing auditor% eFperience. )he cues that the person will offer %ou non0$erball% will be s%stematicall% different from the cues the% offer %ou to the pre$ious sets of "uestions. )hen ask a set of kinesthetic "uestions7 ,ow do %ou feel earl% in the morningI Ghat does cat fur feel likeI ;A Visual accessing cues for a ?normally organi4ed? right9handed person.

Hc Hisual constructed images.

Hr Hisual remembered 4eidetic5 images.

4E%es defocused and unmo$ing also indicates $isual accessing.5 Ac Auditor% constructed sounds or words. * *inesthetic feelings 4also smell and taste5. Ar Auditor% remembered sounds or words. A Auditor% sounds or words.

Goman7 Is there a difference between the e%e mo$ements people make when the% are remembering something that the%.$e heard in the past, and when the% are tr%ing to imagine what something would sound likeI Ghen %ou sa% "imagine" that presupposes images or pictures. Ask them to create a sound the% ha$ent heard before. )here will be a difference, %es. Disco$er that for %ourself. I.d like to warn %ou of two pitfalls. Eou ma% thin3 that the word "think" is one representational s%stem. It.s not. )he words "think, understand, be aware of, belie$e, sense, know," are all unspecified. Do not use those words because the response %ou get will be random. Eou will also get confusing responses if %ou sa% "Do %ou remember ;< the last time %ou felt the feeling of swimming through the waterI" Eou.$e asked them to do two things. EouHe asked them to remember and then iofeel. )he% ma% remember $isuall%C that is, the% ma% search or scan $isuall%, the% ma% repeat it auditoril%, or the% ma% do it directl% kinestheticall%. ,owe$er the% do it, %ou are going to get a two0step process. 'ne will be the remembering portion, following %our instructions, and the other will be actuall% reco$ering

those feelings of swimming. If %ou get responses which do not make an% sense to %ou, as3 the person what the% did internall%. Eour #ob is to correlate what %ou can obser$e on the outside with the "uestions %ou ask. +orrelate the relationship between the kind of information %ou are asking for and the non0$erbal e%e mo$ement responses %ou.re getting from %our partner. If %ou don.t understand it, ask. "I saw this on the outside. Ghat does that correspond to in %our internal processingI" If the% don.t know, ask them to guess. If %ou.re not getting the kinds of e%e mo$ements we were talking about, make the "uestion more difficult. "Ghat color shoes was %our mother wearing the last time %ou saw herI" If %ou ask "Ghat color are %our mother.s e%es" and %ou don.t see an% mo$ement, make the "uestion more compleF. "Eour e%es are blue, too. Is the color of %our e%es brighter or deeper in color than %our mother.s e%esI" )hat.s a more compleF, comparati$e "uestion., (he will then ha$e to form an image of the color of her e%es and her mother.s e%es and then make a $isual comparison. After four or fi$e minutes of asking %our partner these sets of "uestions, %ou should ha$e an idea about what e%e mo$ements %ou can see which indicate une"ui$ocall% which of the internal representational s%stems that person is utili2ing at that moment. (witch roles, so that both of %ou ha$e the opportunit% to ask "uestions and obser$e responses. If %ou run into things %ou don.t understand, we will be wandering through the roomwa$e to us. Ge will come o$er and assist %ou in making sense out of it. Ge are offering %ou generali2ations, and e$er% single generali2ation an%one has e$er offered %ou is going to be false at some time and some place. )he generali2ations are onl% tricksas most of what we will do here isto get %ou to pa% attention to %our eFperience, to notice a certain dimension of sensor% eFperience which culturall% %ou.$e been trained not to notice. 'nce %ou notice it, it constitutes a reall% powerful

source of information about the other person.s unconscious processes. Eou will find people who are organi2ed in odd wa%s. -ut e$en somebod% who is organi2ed in a totall% different wa% will be s%stematicC their e%e mo$ements will be s%stematic for them. E$en the person who looks straight up each time the% ha$e a feeling and straight down each time the% ha$e a picture, will remain consistent within themsel$es. )he important thing is that %ou ha$e the sensor% eFperience to notice who is doing what. Go ahead now and disco$er what, if an%, patterns %ou can disco$er.

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'*. ,ow did the eFercise goI 6an% of %ou are nodding. (ome of %ou had difficulties, or "uestions, or were perpleFed b% some of the things %ou saw. et.s ha$e those. )hose are more interesting. Goman7 Ge found that we could learn as much b% watching the "uestioner as the listener. -% watching the "uestioner.s e%es we could predict what kind of "uestion we were about to be asked. 6an7 Ghen I asked m% partner, +hris, an auditor% "uestion, she went up and $isuali2ed. Do %ou remember the "uestion %ou askedI 6an7 "Ghat are the first four notes of -eetho$en.s 1ifth (%mphon%I" '*. Now, did other people ha$e the same eFperienceI (ome of %ou asked people auditor% "uestions, or kinesthetic "uestions, and %ou noticed them $isuall% accessing and then gi$ing %ou auditor% or kinesthetic information. Do %ou ha$e an understanding of what was happeningI +hris, what did %ou doI Did %ou read it off the scoreI Did %ou see a record pla%er or did %ou see an albumI

+hris7 I heard it. Eou heard it. '*. Gere %ou aware of starting with an% kind of picture whatsoe$erI If the rest of %ou are watching, this is one of those interesting discrepancies between her consciousness and what she.s offering us non0$erball%. +hris, do %ou know what the second four notes of -eetho$en.s 1ifth areI '*, %ou know what the% are. Goman7 Ah, that might be a spatial thing for her. +an %ou gi$e us a sensor% correlate for the word "spatial"I Ghether it.s the notion of looking "pensi$e" or that.s a "spatial" thing, what ;= we.re going to ask %ou to do, since we all ha$e different understandings of those words, is to use words either before or after the #udgements that %ou make which we can agree or disagree with. Ghat is it %ou saw or heard or feltI Goman7 Gell, when I did it, I went "da da da DD6," %ou know, and I looked at the spatial inter$al. I wasn.t seeing the notes. )hose of %ou who had partners who had this kind of eFperience, check with them. I will guarantee the following was going on. )he% searched and found a $isual image which somehow represented the eFperience the% were looking for. 1rom that image, b% simpl% imitating the image or stepping into it, the% then had the feelings or sounds which were appropriate for that particular $isual eFperience. Ge.$e got to make a distinction now. )he predicates, the words a person chooses to describe their situationwhen the% are specified b% representational s%stemlet %ou know what their consciousness is. )he predicates indicate what portion of this compleF internal cogniti$e process the% bring into awareness. )he $isual accessing cues, e%e0scanning patterns, will tell %ou literall% the whole se>uence of accessing, which we call a strategy. Ghat we call the ?lead system? is the s%stem that %ou use to go after some information. )he ?representational system? is what.s in consciousness, indicated b% predicates. )he ?reference system? is how %ou decide whether what %ou now knowha$ing alread% accessed it and knowing it in conscious0 nessis true or not. 1or eFample. Ghat.s %our nameI )ed7 )ed. )ed. ,ow do %ou know thatI Now, he.s alread% answered the "uestion, non0$erball%. It.s an absurd "uestion. )ed understands this, but he also answered it. Do %ou know how %ou knowI 3ight now, sitting in this room, if I call %ou "&im," %ou don.t respond. If I call %ou ")ed," %ou do respond. )hat.s a kinesthetic response. Now, without me suppl%ing an% stimuli from the outside, when I simpl% ask %ou the "uestion "Do %ou know what %our name isI" do %ou ha$e an answerI )ed7 Ees, I ha$e. Do %ou know what to sa% before %ou actuall% sa% itI )ed7 No, I don.t. (o if I sa% "Ghat.s %our nameI" and %ou dont answer, %ou dont know what %our name isI )ed7 I know what m% name is because when someone sa%s ")ed" I ha$e a certain feeling, a response because that.s me. ;9 Are %ou sa%ing ")ed" on the inside and getting that feeling as a wa% of $erif%ing when I ask %ou that "uestionI )ed7 Eeah. (o %ou ha$e a strateg% to let %ou know, when supplied input from the outside, which is an appropriate response to which, rightI ")ed" but not "-ob." -ut when I ask %ou "Ghat.s %our nameI" how do %ou know what to sa% to meI

)ed7 I don.t think of it. (o %ou ha$e no consciousness of an% process that %ou use at that pointI... '*. Now, did an%bod% else notice a cue that would tell %ou the answer to the "uestion e$en though )ed at this point doesn.t ha$e a conscious answer to the "uestion we asked himI... Each time we asked the "uestion, his e%es went down to his left and came back. ,e heard his name. I don.t know whose tonalit% he heard it in, but it was there. And he knows that the name ")ed" is correct because it feels right. (o in this case his lead s%stem is auditor%7 that.s how he goes after the information, e$en though he.s not aware of it. ,e becomes conscious of his name auditoril%C in this case his representational s%stem is the same as his lead s%stem. ,is reference s%stem is kinesthetic7 when he hears the name ")ed" either outside or inside, it feels right. 'ne of the things that some people do when %ou ask them "uestions is to repeat them with words inside their head. ots of people here are doing that. I sa% " ots of people repeat words" and the% go inside and sa% to themsel$es "Eeah, people repeat words." ,a$e an% of %ou had the eFperience of being around somebod% whose second language is the one %ou.re speakingI )%picall% the first e%e mo$ement the% will make as the% hear something is to translate it internall%, and %ou.ll see that same auditor% cue. (ome people take fore$er to answer a "uestion. Ghat the% usuall% ha$e is a compleF strateg% in consciousness. 1or eFample, one gu% had a fascinating strateg%. I asked him "Ghen was the first time %ou met &ohnI" And he went inside and said "Ghen was the first time I met &ohnI ,mmm. et.s see," and his e%es went up and he made a constructed picture of &ohn. )hen he looked o$er to his left and $isuall% flipped through all the possible places he remembered, until he found one that ga$e him a feeling of familiarit%. )hen he named the place auditoril%, and then he saw himself telling me the name of that place, and imagined how he would look when he did that. ,e had the feeling that it would be safe to go ahead and do it, so he told himself B8 "Go ahead and do it." )here.s a whole set of ad$anced patterns we call streamlining which %ou can use to eFamine the structure of a strateg% and streamline it so that all the unnecessar% or redundant steps are taken out. It in$ol$es eFamining strategies for loops and other kinds of restrictions and problems, and then streamlining those out so that %ou ha$e efficient programs to get %ou the outcomes %ou want. et.s take an eFample from therap%. (omebod% comes in with the problem that the%.re $er% #ealous. )he% sa% "Gell, %ou know, I #ust.,. 4looking up and to his right5 well, I #ust 4looking down and to his right5 reall% feel #ealous and 4looking down and to his left5 I tell m%self it.s cra2% and I ha$e no reason to, but I #ust ha$e these feelings." ,e starts leading $isuall%C he constructs an image of his wife doing something nast% and en#o%able with someone else. )hen he feels the wa% he would feel if he were standing there actuall% obser$ing it occurring in the room. ,e has the feelings that he would ha$e if he were there. )hat.s usuall% all he is aware of. )hose feelings ha$e the name "#ealous%" and that.s the representational s%stem, kinesthetic. ,e leads $isuall%, represents kinestheticall%, and then he has an auditor% reference s%stem check which tells him that his feelings are in$alid. (o all three different s%stems are used in different wa%s. Goman7 (o in that situation %ou.re suggesting that if %ou were working with that person %ou would tie in with the feeling s%stem, the representational s%stemI It depends on what outcome %ou want. 'ur claim is that there are no mistakes in communicationC there are onl% outcomes. In order for us to respond to %our "uestion %ou ha$e to specif% what outcome %ou want. If %ou want to establish rapport, then it would be useful to match the representational s%stem, indicated b% the predicates. )he client comes in and sa%s "Gell, I feel reall% #ealous, man, %ou know, and it.s hard on me and I don.t know what to do." Eou

can sa% "Gell, I.m going to tr% to help %ou get a handle on it because I feel %ou are entitled to that. et.s come to grips with this and reall% work to ha$e some solid understanding about this." )hat would be a first step which would help %ou to establish rapport. If instead %ou said to that person "Gell, I.m going to tr% to help %ou get a perspecti$e on %our feelings," %ou would not get conscious rapport. Eou might or might not get wwconscious rapport, which is the most important one an%wa%. Ghen this man comes in with his #ealous% problem and %ou can see B: the accessing cues, %ou ha$e all the information %ou need to understand the process he goes through. E$en when people begin to get an idea that this kind of stuff is going on, the% don.t teach people new wa%s to do it. If %our therapist #ust tries to assist %ou in making more realistic pictures, he.s working with content, and still lea$ing the structure intact. 6ost of the time people don.t tr% to change the actual structure of the process. )he% tr% to make it "more realistic" or workable. )his means that as long as the re$ised content remains the same the%ll be fine, but when the% switch content the% will get into trouble again. )he wa% %ou moti$ate %ourself ma% ha$e the same structure as #ealous%7 %ou make a picture of what %ou want that feels good and then tell %ourself how to make that picture come true. If that.s so, then until %ou ha$e another wa% to moti$ate %ourself %ou are going to keep that wa% no matter how unpleasant it is sometimes. E$en the crummiest strateg% is better than none at all. 6an7 Ghat.s the difference in the cerebral hemispheres as to the dominant hand and dominant e%eI Each time we do a seminar someone asks us that "uestion. As far as I can tell, there is no research to substantiate the idea that there is e%ed0ness. Eou won.t find an% research that is going to hold up. E$en if there were, I still don.t know how it would be rele$ant to the process of interpersonal communication, so to me it.s not a $er% interesting "uestion. Eour e%es are split so that half of each e%e is connected to each hemisphere. )he tendenc% to look in a microscope with one e%e or another has been noted as statisticall% significantC howe$er, I don.t know of an% use for that information right now. 6an7 Ghat about a situation where one e%e is measurabl% much better $isuall%I 'ne is practicall% blind and the other one is '*. Is there an% correlation there with the handednessI I don.t know. I ha$e no idea. Again, IHe ne$er found that a useful organi2ing principle in communication. If %ou know of something in that area, let me know about it. 6an7 At what age do %ou assume that human beings establish hand dominanceI I don.t. No assumptions. inguists claim that it occurs somewhere around four and a half. I ha$e no basis on which to substantiate that. ,andedness is a dimension of eFperience which I know eFists in the world, I ha$e ne$er found an% useful connection to communication. B; )here is an infinite amount of sensor% eFperience a$ailable right here in this room. Ge consistentl% make unconscious choices about what we sample. If we didn.t, we.d all be ?idiot sa#ants,? who can.t forget thingsC the% can.t not know things. Ghen %ou ask them about an%thing, the% ha$e to gi$e %ou a complete "dump" of all the information the% ha$e e$er had on that particular topic. 6ost therap% is founded on the presupposition that if %ou know how things came about, the roots where it all originated, that will gi$e %ou a basis from which to change it. I belie$e that that.s an accurate and limiting assumption. Ees, that is one wa% to go about changing, but it is onl% one out of an infinite number of ways to understand beha$ior. Ghen people achie$e handedness is in no wa% significant, as far as I can tell, in the process of doing therap% and communication unless what %ou reall% want to do is to teach children to be differentl% handed.

)he onl% thing I.$e e$er used handedness in is stuttering. )hat.s the onl% time I.$e e$er used it face0to0face, eFperientiall% with a kid to assist him in getting more choices. I simpl% noticed that if he were gi$en a task in which it was specified he do it with this hand as opposed to that handand it didn.t matter which handand he didn.t ha$e to talk simultaneousl%, he could do the task and then describe it. If he had to talk at the same time, or if the task in$ol$ed both hands, so that there was hemispheric switching, he had difficult%. +hildren do ha$e accessing cues at a $er% %oung age, and that is rele$ant information to notice. )here is something now that the% are imposing upon children called "learning disabilities." 6an% of these "learning disabilities" are reall% functions of the educational s%stem. 1or eFample, I was gi$en a bunch of children who fell into the classification of "crossed hemispheres" and the% told me that this was something that eFisted in the world. )he% wanted me to find out if there was an% difference between these children and the rest of them, gi$en accessing cues and so on. Ghat I disco$ered is that the% were all children who were tr%ing to spell auditoril%. Ghen I said ",ow do %ou spell the word .catMI" the% went inside and their e%es mo$ed down and to their left. I asked the children what the% were doing and the% said "(ounding the word out," because the% were taught to spell phoneticall%. Eou can.t e$en spell "phonetics" phoneticall%/ Gho here is a good spellerI (omebod% who used to win spelling beesI ,ow do %ou spell the word "phenomena"I Goman7 I read it. (he sees it, she reads it, whiche$er word %ou use to describe it. Now,

BB as %ou $isuali2ed the word "phenomena" %ou somehow knew that was correct. Now, change the "ph" to an "f. and tell me what changes in %our eFperience as %ou see it with an "f. instead of a "ph." Goman7 It stops being a word. It stops being a word. ,ow do %ou know that it stops being a wordI Ghat eFperience do %ou ha$eI Goman7 It makes the whole rest of the word fall apart in m% $isual )he letters literall% drop off and fallI Goman7 Eeah, the% sort of fu22 out and disappear. )here are two steps to spelling. 'ne is being able to $isuali2e the word, and the other is ha$ing a s%stem b% which to check the accurac%. )r% something for me. +an %ou see the word "caught"I '*, go ahead and lea$e it up there and change the "au" to "eu" and tell me what happens. Goman7 It became "cute," and it.s changed its spelling. Did an%bod% who was near her notice what her response wasI Ghat did she doI Goman7 (he winced. I said change it to "eu" and her shoulders rolled forward, her head tipped back, and she winced. )here was a change in her feelings right here at the mid0line of the torso. No matter what language we.$e operated in, what countr% we.$e been to, no matter what the language is, good spellers ha$e eFactl% that same formal strateg%. )he% see an eidetic, remembered image of the word the% want to spell, and the% know whether or not it.s an accurate spelling b% a kinesthetic check at the mid0line. All the people who tell us the% are bad spellers don!t ha$e that strateg%. (ome bad spellers make eidetic images, but then the% check them auditoril%. 'thers make constructed $isual images and spell creati$el%. *nowing this, a "uestion we could then ask is "Gell, how is it that some children learn to spell $isuall% with a kinesthetic check, and other children learn to spell in other wa%sI" -ut to me that.s not nearl% as interesting a "uestion as ",ow do %ou take the child who is a bad speller

and teach him to use the same strateg% that a good speller usesI" Ghen %ou do that, %ou will ne$er need to teach children to spell. )he% will learn automaticall% if %ou teach them an appropriate process, instead of content. 6an7 ,ow about adultsI +an %ou teach adultsI No, it.s hopeless, 4laughter5 (ure %ou can. et me address that B> "uestion in a slightl% different wa%. ,ow man% here now see clearl% that the% are $isuall% oriented peopleI ,ow man% people see thatI ,ow man% people here feel that the% are reall% kinestheticall% oriented people in their processI Gho tell themsel$es that the% are auditor%I Actuall% all of you are doing all of the things we.re talking about, attthe time. )he onl% "uestion is, which portion of the compleF internal process do %ou bring into awarenessI All channels are processing information all the time, but onl% part of that will be in consciousness. At seminars like this, people alwa%s go out at lunch time and tr% to figure out what the% "are," as if the% are onl% one thing, thereb% stabili2ing e$er%thing pathologicall%. !eople tr% to figure out what the% "are" instead of using that information to reali2e that the% ha$e other choices. !eople will come up to me and sa% "I.m reall% confused about this representational stuff because I reall% see m%self as being a #ery feeling person." )hat.s a profound utterance, if %ou think about it. I.$e heard that ma%be a hundred and fift% times. ,ow man% people ha$e heard something like that alread% this morningI 3ather than thinking of %ourself as being $isuall% oriented, kinestheticall% oriented, or auditoril% oriented, take what %ou do best as a statement about which s%stem %ou alread% ha$e well0de$eloped and refined. 3eali2e that %ou might put some time and energ% into de$eloping the other s%stems with the same refinement and the same fluidit% and creati$it% that %ou alread% ha$e in %our most de$eloped s%stem. abels are traps, and one wa% that %ou can stabili2e a piece of beha$ior in an unuseful wa% is to label it. Instead, %ou can take the fact that %ou notice most of %our beha$ior falls into categor% N, to let %ourself begin to de$elop %our skills in E and O. Now, I.d like to caution %ou about another thing. In ps%chotherap% one of the ma#or things that 1reud made fashionable, and that has continued unconsciousl% as a presupposition of most therapists. beha$ior, is the phenomenon known as introspection. Introspection is when %ou learn something about beha$ior, %ou appl% it to %ourself. I would like to caution %ou not to do this with most of the material we are presenting %ou, because %ou will simpl% go into a loop. 1or eFample7 ,ow man% people here who can $isuali2e easil% know what the% would look like if the% weren.t $isuali2ingI ... If %ou do that, %ou get a spinning sensation. ,ow man% of %ou during the eFercise were pa%ing attention to the feeling of %our own e%es mo$ing up and downI )hat.s an eFample of introspection and it is BA not useful to do it to %ourself in this conteFt. )hese tools are mostl% for introspection, sensor% eFperience. )he% are things to detect in other people. If %ou use it on %ourself, all %ou will do is confuse %ourself. 6an7 ,ow well does this pattern of accessing cues hold up in other culturesI )here is onl% one group that we know of that is characteristicall% organi2ed differentl%7 the -as"ues in the !%renees of northern (pain. )he% ha$e a lot of unusual patterns, and that seems to be genetic rather than cultural. E$er%where else we.$e beenthe Americas, Europe, Eastern Europe, Africathe same pattern eFists in most of the population. It ma% be a neurological bias that is built into our ner$ous s%stem as a species. Goman7 Do people who are ambideFtrous ha$e an% different patternsI

)he% will ha$e more $ariation from the generali2ation that we ha$e offered %ou. 1or eFample, some ambideFtrous people ha$e the $isuali2ation re$ersed and not the auditor% and the kinesthetic, or $ice $ersa. It.s reall% interesting to me that the percentage of left0handed and ambideFtrous people in the "genius" categor% in our culture is much higher than the percentage in the general population. A person with a different cerebral organi2ation than most of the population is automaticall% going to ha$e outputs which are no$el and different for the rest of the population. (ince the% ha$e a different cerebral organi2ation, the% ha$e natural capabilities that "normall% organi2ed" right0handers don.t automaticall% ha$e. Goman7 Eou talked earlier about children who spelled badl% because the% did it auditoril%, and that %ou could teach them how to do it $isuall%. And now %ou #ust talked about the auditor% or ambideFtrous person ha$ing something different that makes him uni"ue. I.m wondering if it.s worth the energ% it takes to make those kids be able to do what other people do more easil% if it.s taking awa% from other things that the% can doI If I teach a child how to spell easil%, I.m not taking an%thing awa%. +hoices are not mutuall% eFclusi$e. 6an% people close their e%es in order to be in touch with their feelings, but that.s #ust a statement about how the% organi2e themsel$es. )here.s no necessit% to that. I can ha$e all the feelings that I want with m% e%es open. (imilarl%, if I ha$e an ambideFtrous or left0handed person with a different cerebral
B< organi2ation, I don.t ha$e to destro% an% choices the% presentl% ha$e to add to that. And that.s our whole function as modelers. Ge assume since %ou all managed to scrape up whate$er amount of mone% it cost %ou to come here, that %ou are competent, that %ou alread% are succeeding to some degree. Ge respect all those choices and abilities. Ge.re sa%ing "Good, let.s add other choices to those choices %ou alread% ha$e, so that %ou ha$e a wider repertoire" #ust as a good mechanic has a full tool boF. 'ur claim is that %ou are using all systems all the time. In a particular conteFt %ou will be aware of one s%stem more than another. I assume that when %ou pla% athletics or make lo$e,%ou ha$e a lot of kinesthetic sensiti$it%. Ghen %ou are reading or watching a mo$ie, %ou ha$e a lot of $isual consciousness. Eou can shift from one to the other. )here are conteFtual markers that allow %ou to shift from one strateg% to another and use different se"uences. )here.s nothing forced about that. )here are e$en strategies to be creati$e, gi$en different forms of creati$it%. Ge work as consultants for an ad agenc% where we ps%chologicall% "clone" their best creati$e people. Ge determined the strateg% that one creati$e person used to create a commercial, and we taught other people in that agenc% to use the same structure at the unconscious le$el. )he commercials the% came up with were then creati$e in the same wa%, but the content was totall% uni"ue. As we were doing the process, one of the people there e$en made a change in the strateg% that made it better. 6ost people don.t ha$e a large number of strategies to do an%thing. )he% use the same kind of strateg% to do e$er%thing and what happens is that the% are good at some things and not good at others. Ge ha$e found that most people ha$e onl% three or four basic strategies. A reall% fleFible person ma% ha$e a do2en. Eou can calculate that e$en if %ou restrict a strateg% to four steps there are well o$er a thousand possibilities/ Ge make a $er% strong claim. Ge claim that if an% human can do an%thing, so can %ou. All %ou need is the inter$ention of a modeler who has the re"uisite sensor% eFperience to obser$e

what the talented person actuall% does<not their reportand then package it so that %ou can learn it. 6an7 It occurs to me that in %our work, the therapeutic goal of bringing clients to awareness is being replaced b% gi$ing the client a new pattern of response that the% ma% choose to use. B@ If %ou include unconscious choice, I agree with %ou. )here are se$eral presuppositions in our work and one of them is rele$ant in responding to %ou7 that choice is better than non0choice. And b% choice I mean unconscious as well as conscious choice. E$er%bod% knows what conscious choice is, I guess. Dnconscious choice is e"ui$alent to $ariabilit% in m% beha$ior, such that all of the $ariations get me the outcome I.m after. If I.m presented with the same real world situation a number of times, and I notice that m% response $aries but that each response gets the outcome I.m after, I ha$e unconscious choice. ,owe$er, if each time %ou go into a similar conteFt %ou find %ourself responding in the same wa% and %ou dislike the response, %ou probabl% do not ha$e choice. )he important "uestion to me is what structure and there are lots of different onesproduces the state in which %ou don.t ha$e choiceI And then what steps can %ou take to alter that structureI Ge.re going to gi$e %ou lots of different wa%s to go about that. Ge.re offering %ou classes of information which are uni$ersal for us as a species, but which are unconscious for other people. Eou need those as tools in %our repertoire, because it.s the unconscious processes and parts of the person %ou.$e got to work with effecti$el% in order to bring about change in an efficient wa%. )he conscious parts of the person ha$e alread% done the best the% can. )he% are sort of useful to ha$e around to pa% the bill, but what %ou need to work with are the other parts of the person. Don.t get caught b% the words "conscious" and "unconscious.")he% are not real. )he% are #ust a wa% of describing e$ents that is useful in the conteFt called therapeutic change. "+onscious" is defined as whate$er %ou are aware of at a moment in time. "Dnconscious" is e$er%thing else. Eou can make finer distinctions, of course. )here are certain kinds of unconscious data which are immediatel% a$ailable. I sa% ",ow.s %our left earI" Dntil %ou heard that sentence, %ou probabl% had no consciousness of %our left ear. Ghen %ou hear me sa% that, %ou can shift %our consciousness to the kinesthetics of %our left ear. )hat is easil% accessible from unconscious to conscious. If I sa% "Ghat color shoes did %our kindergarten teacher wear on the first da% that %ou went to schoolI" that.s also represented somewhere. ,owe$er, getting at it take a lot more time and energ%. (o there are degrees of B= accessibilit% of unconscious material. )%picall% a person arri$es in %our office and sa%s ",elp/ I want to make a change here. I.m in pain. I.m in difficult%. I want to be different than I am presentl%." Eou can assume that the% ha$e alread% tried to change with all the resources the% can get to consciousl%, and the% ha$e failed utterl%. )herefore, one of the prere"uisites of %our being effecti$e is to ha$e patterns of communication which make good rapport with their unconscious resources to assist them in making those changes. )o restrict %ourself to the conscious resources of the person who comes to %ou will guarantee a long, tedious, and probabl% $er% ineffecti$e process. -% the wa%, here in this seminar there is no wa% that %ou will be able to consciousl% keep up with the rapid pace of $erbali2ation that will be going on. )hat is a s%stematic and deliberate attempt on our part to o$erload %our conscious resources. Ge understand that learning and change take place at the unconscious le$el, so that.s the part of %ou we want to talk to an%wa%.

)he part of %our functioning which is responsible for about ninet%0fi$e percent of %our learning and skill is called %our unconscious mind. It.s e$er%thing that.s outside of %our awareness at a point in time. I want to appeal directl% to that part of %ou to make a complete and useful record of an%thing that happens here, especiall% the things we don.t comment on eFplicitl%, which it belie$es would be useful for %ou to understand further and perhaps emplo% as a skill in %our work as a professional communicator lea$ing %ou free at the conscious le$el to relaF and en#o% %our eFperience here. )he point we.re at now is "(o whatI" Eou ha$e all had some eFperience identif%ing accessing cues and representational s%stems. Ghat do %ou use it forI 'ne wa% I can use this information is to communicate to %ou at the unconscious le$el without an% awareness on %our part. I can use unspecified words like "understand" and "belie$e" and indicate to %ou non0$erball% in which sensor% channel I want %ou to "understand." 1or eFample, I could sa% to %ou "I want to make sure %ou understand 4gesturing down and to the audience.s left5 what we.$e done so far." 6% gesture indicates to %ou unconsciousl% that I want %ou to understand auditoril%. Eou can also use this information to interrupt a person.s accessing. All of %ou make a $isual image, and see what happens when I do this. B9 4,e wa$es both arms o$er his head in a wide arc.5 6% gesture knocks all %our pictures out of the air, rightI )housands of times in %our life %ou said something or asked a "uestion of someone and the% said ",m, let.s see," and the% went inside to create a $isual image. Ghen the% go inside like that, the% cant simultaneousl% pa% attention to input from outside. Now let.s sa% that %ou and I are on opposite sides about some issue at a conference or a corporate meeting. I begin to talk, and I.m forceful in presenting m% material and m% s%stem in the hope that %ou will understand it. After IHe offered %ou a certain amount of information, at some point %ou will begin to access %our internal understanding of what.s going on. Eou.ll look up and begin to $isuali2e, or look down and begin to talk to %ourself or pa% attention to how %ou feel. Ghiche$er internal state %ou go into, it.s important that I pause and gi$e %ou time to process that information. If m% tempo is too rapid and if I continue to talk at that point, I.ll #ust confuse and irritate %ou. Ghat often happens is that when I notice %ou look awa%, I think that %ou arent pa%ing attention, or that %ou are a$oiding me. 6% t%pical response in stress during a conference is to increase the tempo and the $olume of m% speech because I.m going to ma3e %ou pa% attention and dri#e that point home. Eou are going to respond as if %ou are being attacked, because I.m not allowing %ou an ade"uate amount of time to know what I.m talking about. Eou end up "uite confused, and %ou.ll ne$er understand the content. If I am facilitating a meeting, I can notice whene$er a listener goes inside to access, and I can interrupt or distract the speaker at those times. )hat gi$es the listener ade"uate processing time so that he can make sense of what is going on, and decide whether he agrees or disagrees. ,ere.s another eFample7 If %ou can determine what a person.s lead and representational s%stems are, %ou can package information in a wa% that is irresistible for him. "+an %ou see %ourself making this new change, and as %ou see %ourself in this process, do %ou ha$e those feelings of accomplishment and success and sa% to %ourself )his is going to be good.MI" If %our t%pical se"uence happens to be constructed images, followed b% feelings, followed b% auditor% comment, that will be irresistible for %ou. I once taught a mathematics course at the Dni$ersit% of +alifornia to !eople who were not sophisticated mathematicall%. I ended up teaching it as a second language. )he class was a group of linguistic >8

students who had a good understanding of how language s%stems work, but did not ha$e an understanding of mathematical s%stems. ,owe$er, there is a le$el of anal%sis in which the% are eFactl% the same. (o rather than teach them how to talk about it and think about it as a mathematician would, I simpl% utili2ed what was alread% a$ailable in their world model, the notion of translation, and taught them that these s%mbols were nothing more than words. And #ust as there are certain se"uences of words which are well0formed sentences, in mathematics there are certain se"uences of s%mbols which are well0formed. I made m% entire approach fit their model of the world rather than demanding that the% ha$e the fleFibilit% to come to mine. )hat.s one wa% to go about it. Ghen %ou do that, %ou certainl% do them a fa$or in the sense that %ou package material so it.s "uite eas% for them to learn it. Eou also do them a disser#ice in the sense that %ou are supporting rigid patterns of learning in them. It.s important for %ou to understand the outcomes of the $arious choices %ou make in presenting material. If %ou want to do them a reall% profound fa$or, it would contribute more to their e$olution for %ou to go to their model and then teach them to o$erlap into another model so that the% can ha$e more fleFibilit% in their learning. If %ou ha$e that kind of sensiti$it% and capabilit%, %ou are a $er% unusual teacher. If %ou can offer them that eFperience, then the% can ha$e two learning strategies. )he% can now go to some other teacher who doesn.t ha$e that sensiti$it% of communication, and because the% are fleFible enough the% will be able to adapt to that teaching st%le. A lot of school children ha$e problems learning simpl% because of a mismatch between the primar% representational s%stem of the teacher and that of the child. If neither one of them has the fleFibilit% to ad#ust, no learning occurs. *nowing what %ou now know about representational s%stems, %ou can understand how it is possible for a child to be "educationall% handicapped" one %ear, and to do fine the neFt %ear with a different teacher, or how it is possible for a child to do reall% well in spelling and mathematics, and do badl% in literature and histor%. Eou can also translate between representational s%stems with couples. et.s sa% that the husband is $er% kinesthetic. ,e comes home after working hard all da% and he wants to be comfortable. ,e sits down in the li$ing room, kicks his boots off here, throws a cigarette down there, gets a beer from the iceboF, grabs the paper, and sprawls all o$er his chair, and so on. )hen the wife, who.s $er% $isual, walks in. (he.s worked hard all da% cleaning house so it will look good, as a wa% of showing respect for him. (he sees his stuff scattered all o$er the li$ing room and gets upset. (o the complaint from him is "(he doesnt lea$e me enough space to be comfortable, man. It.s m% home. I want to be comfortable." Ghat she sa%s to him at this point is "Eou.re so slopp%. Eou lea$e stuff l%ing all o$er and it looks cluttered, and when it looks cluttered like that I know that %ou don.t respect me." 'ne of the things Hirginia (atir does is to find the kinesthetic counterpart of her $isual complaint, and $ice0$ersa. (o %ou can look at the husband and sa%7 "Eou don.t understand what she said, do %ouI Eou reall% ha$e no idea what she eFperiences. ,a$e %ou e$er had the eFperience that she went to bed first, and she.s been sitting there watching )H in bed, eating crackersI And %ou come in and get into bed and feel all those cracker crumbs all o$er %our skin. Did %ou know that.s what she eFperiences when she walks in and sees %our stuff l%ing all o$er the front roomI" (o there.s no fault, no blame. Eou don.t sa% "Eou.re bad" or "Eou.re stupid" or an%thing like that. Eou sa% ",ere.s a counterpart that %ou can understand in %our s%stem."
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,e sa%s "Gell, when we.re in public, and I want to eFpress affection, she.s alwa%s standing back, alwa%s pushing me awa%." And she sa%s ",e.s alwa%s making scenes in public. ,e.s pawing me all the time/" )hat is his wa%, of course, of simpl% being affectionate, but she needs to see what is going on. ,e complains that she mo$es awa% and he falls flat on his face. ,e reaches out toward her and nothing happens. (o %ou find a counterpart and sa% to her7 ",a$e %ou e$er had the eFperience of wanting and needing help, reall% seeing the need for companionship and assistance, and it.s like %ou.re standing in the middle of the desert and %ou look around in all directions and there.s no one thereI Eou don.t see an%bod% and %ou are all alone. Do %ou know that.s what he feels when he comes >; toward %ou and reaches out and %ou back upI"
)he point is not whether those are actuall% accurate eFamples or not. )he point is that %ou can use the principle of sorting people b% representational s%stems, and then o$erlapping to find counterparts between them. )hat establishes something that e$en the ma#or insurance companies in this countr% ha$e adopted, "no0fault" policies. 1amil% and couple therapists ought to at least ha$e that, and ha$e a wa% of demonstrating it. As I stand back and gi$e her space to see what I.m sa%ing, and I get in close to him and make good solid contact with him, the teaching at the unconscious meta0le$el is this7 J can get responses from her that he would lo#e to get, and @ can get responses from him that she would lo#e to get. )hat.s ne$er mentionedC that.s all at the unconscious le$el. (o the% will model and adopt m% kinds of beha$ior to make their communications more effecti$e. )hat.s another wa% of making contact and establishing rapport with each indi$idual member and then translating between representational s%stems, as a wa% of teaching them how to communicate more effecti$el%. 3eference s%stems are also important. Ghat if someone comes in and tells %ou "I don.t know what I want." )he% are sa%ing that the% don.t ha$e a reference s%stem. Ge taught a seminar #ust recentl% and a woman there said that she had a $er% difficult time. (he could not decide what she wanted from a menu. (he had no basis on which to make that decision. (he said her whole life was like thatC she could ne$er decide things, and she was alwa%s dissatisfied. (o we literall% made up a decision strateg% for her. Ge said '*, when %ou are faced with a decision, go inside and tell %ourself what it is %ou ha$e to decide, no matter what it is. et.s sa% %ou are in a restaurant. )ell %ourself "Eou must choose food." )hen go back to sensor% eFperience and find out what %our choices are. In other words, read the menu. As %ou read "hamburger" on the menu, make a picture of a hamburger in front of %ou, taste what it would taste like, and check whether that feels positi$e to %ou or not. )hen read "fried eggs," see fried eggs in front of %ou, taste what the% would be like, and check whether that feels positi$e to %ou or not. After she went through the process of tr%ing that a few times, she had a wa% of making decisions, and started to make them "uickl% and unconsciousl% for all kinds of things in her life. As she went through that process a number of times, it became >B streamlined in the same wa% that learning to dri$e a car does. It drops into unconsciousness. +onsciousness seems to be occupied b% things we dont know how to do too well. Ghen we know how to do things reall% well, we do them automaticall%. 6an7 Ge were wondering about accessing smells. Ge pla%ed with that a little bit and disco$ered that the% went $isual to see the ob#ect and then to the smell. Not necessaril%. 6ou used the se"uence %ou described. Eou said "Ghat we disco$ered they do is..." and then %ou described %ourself. )hat is a common pattern in modern ps%chotherap%,

as far as I can tell. )homas (2as2 said "All ps%cholog% is either biograph% or autobiograph%." 6ost people are doing therap% with themsel$es instead of other people. )o respond more specificall% to %our statement, people can access olfactor% eFperience in man% different wa%s. 'ne of the things %ou can notice, howe$er, is that when people access smells, the% will flare their nostrils. )hat.s a direct sensor% signal, #ust as the e%e mo$ements we.$e been talking about are direct sensor% signals, to let %ou know what eFperience the person is ha$ing. )he% ma% or ma% not precede that with a $isual, kinesthetic, or auditor% access, but %ou can see the nostril flare. )urn to somebod% close b%C one of %ou decide to be A and the other to be -. I.m going to ask A to watch - respond to the "uestion I.m going to ask. A, clear %our sensor% channels and watch %our partner.s nose. -, when was the last time %ou took a good whiff of ammoniaI... Now is there an% doubt about thatI It.s an in$oluntar% response. Dsuall% the person will breathe in at the moment the nostrils flare. et me ask %ou all to do something else which is along these lines to gi$e %ou another demonstration. As a child, %ou had lots of eFperiences. 6a%be %ou had a grandmother who li$ed in a separate house that had special smells. 6a%be it was some special food, or a blankie, or a little stuffed to% animal, or something else special to %ou. !ick some ob#ect from %our childhood and either feel it, talk to %ourself about it, or see it in %our hands. Ghen %ou ha$e it in an% of those s%stems, breathe in strongl% and let that take %ou where0e$er it takes %ou. )r% that for a minute. )hat.s one wa% of accessing smells. )here are as man% wa%s to use this information as %our ingenuit% permits. If %ou use $isual guided fantas% with %our clients, there are some clients %ou use it with automaticall% and it works fine. 'ther >> people %ou wouldn.t e$en tr% it with. Ghat.s the criterion %ou use to decide that, do %ou knowI If the% can $isuali2e easil%, %ou use $isual guided fantas%, rightI Ge.re suggesting that %ou re#erse that. -ecause for people who do not normall% $isuali2e in consciousness, $isual guided fantas% will be a mind0blowing, profound change eFperience. 1or those who $isuali2e all the time, it will be far less useful. )he onl% thing %ou need to do in order to make it work for people who don!t normall% $isuali2e is to #oin their s%stem where$er the% arewhere$er their consciousness isestablish rapport and then slowl% o#erlap to lead them into the s%stem %ou want to engage them in fantas% with. It will be eFtremel% powerful, much more powerful than with someone who alread% $isuali2es. If %ou ha$e an% fragment of an% eFperience, %ou can ha$e it all. et me ask %ou to do the following7 3oll %our shoulders forward and close %our e%es and feel as though something or someone is pushing down on %our shoulders. And then take those feelings, intensif% them, and let them come up into a picture. Gho or what do %ou find thereI As %ou get the picture, I want %ou to notice some dimension of the picture that is connected with some sound that would be occurring if that were actuall% happening. And now hear the sound. )hat.s the principle of o#erlap. Eou can alwa%s go to the state of consciousness a person indicates b% their predicates, and from there %ou can o$erlap into an% other dimension of eFperience and train a person to do an% of these things. 3ichard7 I know. I did it m%self. 1our %ears ago I couldn.t see an imageC in fact I didn.t know that people did. I thought people were kidding when the% did $isual guided fantasies. I had no idea that the% were actuall% seeing images. And when I figured out what was going on, I reali2ed that there were these differences between people. )hen I began tr%ing to make images. 'f course, the wa% I first tried to make images was b% talking to m%self and ha$ing feelings, which is the wa% people who ha$e trouble making images usuall% go about it. )he% sa% to themsel$es "Gee, I should look at this e$en harder/" and then feel frustrated. 'f course, the more I talked to m%self and the more I had feelings, the less I could see images. I had to learn to

do it b% o$erlap7 b% taking a feeling or a sound and then adding the $isual dimension. Eou can use o$erlap to train a client to be able to do all s%stems, which I think is a benefit for an% human to be able to do. Eou %ourself can notice which of the representational s%stems %ou use with >A refinement and sophistication, and which %ou ha$e difficult% with. )hen %ou can use o$erlap as a wa% of training %ourself to be as sophisticated in an% s%stem as %ou are in %our most ad$anced. et.s sa% %ou ha$e good kinesthetics but %ou can.t $isuali2e. Eou can feel %ourself reach out with %our hand and feel the bark of some tree. Eou eFplore tactuall% until %ou ha$e a reall% good kinesthetic hallucination. Eou can $isuali2e %our hand, and then %ou look past %our hand inside %our mind.s e%e and see what the tree looks like, based on the feelingsas %ou feel the roughness, the teFture, the temperature of the bark. If %ou $isuali2e easil% and %ou want to de$elop auditor%, %ou can see the $isual image of a car whirling around a comer and then hear the s"ueal of the tires. 6an7 Gould a congenitall% blind therapist be at a disad$antageI Hisual accessing cues are onl% one wa% to get this information. )here are other things going on e"uall% as interesting, that would gi$e %ou the same information and other information as well. 1or instance, $oice tone is higher for $isual access and lower for kinesthetic. )empo speeds up for $isual and slows down for kinesthetic. -reathing is higher in the chest for $isual and lower in the bell% for kinesthetic. )here are lots and lots of cues. Ghat we are doing is gi$ing one little piece at a time. Eour consciousness is limited to se$enplus or minus twochunks of information. Ghat we are doing is sa%ing " ook, %ou normall% pa% attention to other dimensions of eFperience. ,ere.s another class of eFperience we.d like %ou to attend to, and notice how %ou can use it in a $er% powerful wa%." I can get the same information b% $oice tone, or tempo changes, or b% watching a person.s breathing, or the change in skin color on the back of their hand. (omeone who is blind can get the same classes of information in other wa%s. E%e mo$ement is the easiest wa% that we.$e disco$ered that people can learn to get access to this class of information called "representational s%stem." After the% ha$e that, we can easil% teach them other dimensions. Eou might think that a blind therapist would be at a disad$antage. ,owe$er, blindness is a matter of degree in all of us. )he non0sighted !erson who has no chance of seeing has an ad$antage o$er most other communicators7 he 3nows he is blind, and has to de$elop his other senses to compensate. 1or eFample, a few weeks ago in a seminar there was a man who is totall% blind. A %ear ago, I had taught him how to be able to detect representational s%stems through other means. Not onl%

was he able to do it, but he was able to do it e$er% bit as well as e$er% sighted person in that room. 6ost of the people I meet are handicapped in terms of their sensor% abilit%. )here is a tremendous amount of eFperience that goes right b% them because the% are operating out of something which to me is much more intense than # ust "preconcei$ed notions." )he% are operating out of their own internal world, and tr%ing to find out what matches it. )hat.s a good formula for being disappointed, b% the wa%. 'ne of the best wa%s to ha$e lots of disappointment in %our life is to construct an image of how %ou would like things to be, and then tr% to make e$er%thing that wa%. Eou will feel disappointed as long as the world doesn.t match %our picture. )hat is one of the best wa%s I know of to keep %ourself in a constant state of disappointment, because %ou are ne$er going to get the world to match %our picture. )here is another $ast source of process information in obser$ing the motor programs that are accessed when a person thinks about an acti$it%. 1or eFample, Ann, would %ou sit in a "normal" position with %our legs uncrossedI )hank %ou. Now let me ask %ou a preparator%

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"uestion. Do %ou dri$e a carI 4Ees.5 Is there a single one %ou dri$e t%picall%I 4Ees.5 '*, now, this is a "uestion I don.t want %ou to answer out loud, but #ust go ahead and access the answer internall%. Is it a stick shift or is it an automatic shiftI ... Did an%one else get the answerI Gould %ou like to guess about the answer and check it outI 6an7 (tick shift. '*. ,ow do %ou know thatI 6an7 (he shifted. I saw her mo$e her right hand. +an %ou tell b% the shift whether it was a manual or automaticI 6an7 It.s manual. Now, is that true, AnnI 4No.5 No, it.s an automatic. Now, did an%bod% else ha$e that answerI Goman7 Eeah, because I figured she was little and she wouldn.t want to dri$e a stick shift. '*. Did an%bod% use sensory e+perience to get the answerI... Gell, let me answer the "uestion directl%. If %ou had been watching Ann.s feet, %ou would ha$e gotten the answer to that "uestion. 'ne of the differences in the motor program between an automatic and a stick shift is whether %ou ha$e a clutch to work. If %ou had been watching, %ou could ha$e seen muscle tension in her right leg and not in her left, which would ha$e gi$en %ou the answer. >@ If %ou ask a person a "uestion that in$ol$es a motor program, %ou can obser$e the parts of their bod% the% will ha$e to use in order to access the information. Information doesnt come out of a $acuum in human beings. In order for a human being to get information to answer a "uestion, the% ha$e got to access some representation of it. And although the% ma% onl% bring one of those s%stems into consciousness, the% are going to access all s%stems unconsciousl% to gather the information. Ann7 Ge ha$e both kinds of car and I dri$e both. Eou said "Ghich one do %ou dri$e usuall%I" If %ou had asked me "Do %ou ha$e a different carI" and then asked me about that specific car, would m% motor programs ha$e been differentI If I was thinking of dri$ing the other car, would m% legs ha$e mo$ed differentl%I Ees. Eou use %our left foot onl% if there is a clutch. +onsider how %ou answer the following "uestion. Eou all ha$e front doors to the homes or apartments that %ou li$e in, whether the% are long0term homes or apartments. As %ou walk into %our apartment or home, does the first door open to the right or the leftI Now, how do %ou decide that "uestionI ... All the hands are mo$ing. et me ask %ou another "uestion. Ghen %ou come home in the e$ening and %our house is locked, which hand do %ou use to actuall% open the doorI ... Gatch the hands. !eople ha$e alwa%s tried to turn bod% language into a content $ocabular%, as if holding %our head back meant that %ou were reser$ed and crossing %our legs meant that %ou were closed. -ut bod% language doesn.t work like words workC it works differentl%. E%e mo$ements and bod% mo$ements will gi$e %ou information about process. )he proper domain, in our opinion, of professional communicators is process. If %ou indulge in content, %ou are going to una$oidabl% impose part of %our belief and $alue s%stem on the people %ou communicate with. )he kinds of problems that people ha$e, usuall% ha$e nothing to do with contentC the% ha$e to do with the structure, the form of how the% organi2e their eFperience. 'nce %ou begin to understand that, therap% becomes a lot easier. Eou don.t ha$e to listen to the contentC %ou onl% ha$e to find out how the process works, which is reall% much simpler. )here.s an important pattern that we.d like to talk about neFt. If I.m %our client and %ou ask me "Gell, how did it go this weekI" and I respond to %ou b% going 4sighs hea$il%, head down, low tonalit%5 "Ah, >=

e$er%thing worked #ust great this week, 4sighing, shaking head "no," slight sneer5 No problems." Now, the laughter indicates that there are a number of people here who recogni2e that there is some unusual communication being offered. )he name that we ha$e adopted for that is incongruity. Ghat I offer %ou in m% $oice tone, m% bod% mo$ements, and m% head mo$ements does not match m% words. Now, what responses do %ou ha$e to that as professional communicatorsI Ghat choices do %ou ha$e to respond to that situationI Goman7 If I knew %ou reall% well, I.d sa% "I don.t belie$e %ou."'r I might sa% "Gell, %ou don.t loo3 $er% happ% because things are going well." (o %ou would meta0comment on the discrepanc% that %ou.$e been able to percei$e, and confront the person with it. Does an%bod% else ha$e other wa%s of respondingI 6an7 I would tr% to help %ou eFpress both messages, ma%be eFaggerate the non0$erbal components.... '*, the gestalt techni"ue7 amplif% the non0$erbal message until it accesses the appropriate eFperience, rightI '*, that.s another choice. Does e$er%bod% understand the choices we.re talking about so farI 'ur #ob is choice. )he notion of incongruit% is a choice point which is going to be repetiti$e in %our eFperience if %ou are in the business of communication. It makes sense for %ou to ha$e a $aried repertoire, a range of possible responses, and to. understandI hope at the unconscious le$el rather than consciousl%what the outcome will be when %ou select one of these maneu$ers or techni"ues. 6eta0commenting is one choice, and I think it.s a good choice. ,owe$er, it is onl% one choice. Ghen I watch and listen to therapists communicate, I often notice that that.s the only choice that a lot of them ha$e when presented with incongruit%that the people who are in the business of choice don!t ha#e any. Eou want to ha$e a lot of choices in responding to incongruit%. Eou want to ha$e the choice of eFaggerating the non0$erbal, or of calling them a liar and attacking them, or of ignoring it, or of simpl% mirroring back and sa%ing incongruentl% "I.m so glad/" 4shaking head and sneering5 'r %ou can "short0circuit" them b% re$ersing the $erbal and non$erbal messages7 ")hat.s too bad" 4smiling and nodding head5. )he response %ou get to that is fascinating, because most people ha$e no idea what the% $erbali2ed." Either the% will enter a confusion state, or the% will begin to eFplicitl% $erbali2e the message that was pre0 >9 $iousl% non0$erbal. It.s almost as if the% take all the conscious material and make it unconscious and $ice0$ersa. 'r %ou might choose to respond with an appropriate metaphor7 ")hat reminds me of a stor% m% grandfather '.6ara told me once. ,e was Irish himself, but he told about this -altic countr% that he had spent some time in as a %outh when he was tra$eling in Europepoor, destitute, but ne$ertheless out ha$ing eFperience. And the duke that ruled this little principalit% this was before the (econd Gorld Gar, when there were a lot of small countrieshad a problem. )he 6inister of the @nterior did not ha$e good communication with the 6inister of the E+terior. And so some of the things that the 6inister of the E+terior could see needed to be attended to in order for a #udicious trade arrangement to be made with other entitiesother neighboring, surrounding peoplecame into conflict somehow with some of the needs that the 6inister of the @nterior felt..." Now how do people learn to be incongruentI )hink of a %oung child who comes home and hands a piece of homework to his parents. )he parents look at the homework and the father sa%s 4scowling face and shaking head "no," with harsh tonalit%5 "'h, I.m so glad %ou brought that home, son/" Ghat does the kid doI Does he lean forward and meta0commentI "Gee, Dad/ I hear %ou sa% %ou.re glad, but I notice..." Not if %ou.re a kid. 'ne thing that children do is to become h%peracti$e. 'ne hemisphere is registering the $isual input and the tonal input, and the other hemisphere is registering the words and their digital meaning, and the% don.t fit.

)he% don.t fit maFimall% where the two hemispheres o$erlap maFimall% in kinesthetic representation. If %ou e$er watch a h%peracti$e kid, the trigger for h%peracti$it% will be incongruit%, and it will begin here at the midline of the torso, and then diffuse out to all kinds of other beha$ior. et me ask %ou to do something now. I want %ou to raise %our right hand.... Did an%bod% notice an% incongruit%I 6an7 Eou raised %our left hand. I raised m% left hand. (o did man% people out there/ (ome of %ou raised %our left hand. (ome of %ou raised %our right hand. (ome of %ou didn.t notice which hand I lifted. )he point is that when %ou were all children, %ou had to find a wa% of coping with incongruit%. )%picall% what people do is to distort their eFperience so that it is congruent. Is there an%one in here that actuall% heard me sa% "3aise %our left hand"I 6an% of %ou raised %our left hand. (ome of %ou raised %our left hand A8 and probabl% thought %ou raised %our right hand. If %ou didn.t notice the incongruit%, %ou somehow deleted the relationship between %our own kinesthetic eFperience and m% words, in order to make %our eFperience coherent. If there are miFed messages arri$ing, one wa% to resol$e the difficult% is to literall% shut one of the dimensionsthe $erbal input, the tonal input, the bod% mo$ements, the touch, or the $isual input0out of consciousness. And %ou can predict that the h%peracti$e child who shuts the right hemisphere out of consciousnessit.s still operating, of course, it.s #ust out of awarenesswill later be persecuted b% $isual images7 dead babies floating out of hot dogs in the air abo$e the ps%chiatrist.s desk. )he ones who cut off the kinesthetics will feel insects crawling all o$er them, and that will reall% bug them. And the% will tell %ou that. )hat is a straight "uote from a schi2ophrenic. )he ones that cut off the auditor% portion are going to hear $oices coming out of the wall plugs, because literall% the% are gi$ing up consciousness of that whole s%stem and the information that is a$ailable to them through that s%stem, as a wa% of defending themsel$es in the face of repeated incongruit%. In this countr%, when we ha$e gone into mental hospitals we ha$e disco$ered that the ma#orit% of the hallucinations are auditor%, because people in this culture do not pa% much attention to the auditor% s%stem. In other cultures, hallucinations will tend to cluster in other representational s%stems. Goman7 I.d like %ou to comment some more because I stumbled into some of this out of talking with people about hallucinator% phenomena. ,allucinator% phenomena in m% opinion are the same thing %ou.$e been doing here all da%. )here.s no formal difference between hallucinations and the processes %ou use if I ask %ou to remember an%thing that happened this morning, or what happened when I said "Ammonia" and all of %ou went "uhhhrrrhhh/" As far as I can tell, there are some subtle differences between people who are in mental hospitals and people who are not. 'ne is that the% are in a different building. )he other is that man% of them don.t seem to ha$e a strateg% to know what constitutes shared realit% and what doesn.t. Gho has a petI +an %ou see %our pet sitting here on the chairI 4Ees.5 '*. Now, can %ou distinguish between the animal that %ou ha$e here, and the chair that it is sitting onI Is there an%thing in %our eFperience A: that allows %ou to distinguish between the fact that %ou put the $isual image of the pet there, and the fact that the image of the chair was there before %ou deliberatel% put it thereI Is there an% differenceI )here ma% not be. Goman7 'h, %es, there is.

'*. Ghat is the differenceI ,ow do %ou know that there is a real chair and there.s not a real dogI Goman7 I reall% can see that chair in m% realit% here and now. -ut I can onl% picture the dog in m% head, in m% mind.s e%e.... Eou don.t see the dog o$er here sitting in the chairI Goman7 Gell, onl% in m% mind.s e%e. Ghat.s the difference between the image of the chair in %our mind.s e%e and the image of the dog in %our mind.s e%eI Is there a differenceI Goman7 Gell, one.s here and one isn.t. Ees. ,ow do %ou 3now that, thoughI Goman7 Gell, I still see the chair e$en when I look awa% and look back. -ut if I stop thinking about the dog in the chair, the dog isn.t there an%more. '*. Eou can talk to %ourself, rightI Gould %ou go inside and ask if there is a part of %ou at the unconscious le$el that is capable of ha$ing the dog there when %ou look backI Gould %ou make those arrangements and find out if %ou can still tell the differenceI -ecause m% guess is there are other wa%s %ou know, too. Goman7 )he image of the dog isn.t as clear. '*, so that.s one wa% that %ou make a realit% check. Gould %ou go inside and ask if there is a part of %ou that can make it as clearI Goman7 Not while I.m awake. I know %our conscious mind can.t do it. I.m not asking that "uestion. +an %ou talk to %ourselfI +an %ou go ",i, 6ar%, how are %ouI" on the insideI 4Ees.5 '*. Go inside and sa% "Is there an% part of me at the unconscious le$el which is capable of making that image of the dog as clear as the chairI" And be sensiti$e to an% response %ou get. It ma% be $erbal, it ma% be a feeling, it ma% be something $isual. Ghile she.s doing that, does an%one else know how the% know the differenceI 6an7 Gell, earlier when %ou hit the chair I could hear a sound. Ghen %ou hit the dog, I couldn.t. (o essentiall% %our strateg% consists of going to another representational s%stem and noticing whether there is a representation that corresponds in that s%stem to what %ou detected in another s%stem. A; Goman7 I know I put the dog there. ,ow do %ou know thatI Goman7 -ecause I can remember what I did. '*, how do %ou remember putting the dog thereI Is that a $isual processI Do %ou talk to %ourselfI '*. Now I want %ou to do that same process for putting the chair there. I want %ou to put the chair here, e$en though it.s alread% here. I want %ou to go through the same process %ou used to put the dog here to put the chair here and then tell me what, if an%, difference there is. Does an%bod% know the point of all thisI Goman7 Ge.re all schi2ophrenic. 'f course we.re all schi2ophrenic. In fact, 3. D. aing is far too conser$ati$e when he talks about schi2ophrenia being a natural response. E$olutionaril% the neFt step, which we.re all engaged in, is multiple personalit%. Eou.re all multiple personalities. )here are onl% two differences between %ou and an officiall% diagnosed multiple personalit%7 4:5 the fact that %ou don.t ha$e to ha$e amnesia for how %ou are beha$ing in one conteFtC %ou can remember it in another conteFt, 4;5 %ou can choose how to respond conteFtuall%. Ghene$er %ou don!t ha$e a choice about how %ou respond in conteFt, %ou are a robot. (o %ou ha$e two choices. Eou can be a multiple personalit% or a robot. +hoose well.

)he point that we.re tr%ing to makeM is that the difference between somebod% who doesn.t know their hallucination is a hallucination and %oursel$es is onl% that %ou ha$e de$eloped some strateg% b% which %ou know what is shared realit% and what is not. And if %ou are going to ha$e hallucinations, %ou probabl% ha$e them about ideas instead of about things. If one of %ou in the audience said "Gell, wait a minute, there reall% is a dog there, an%bod% can see that/" then probabl% one of the other people in this room would take %ou awa%. Now, when (all% used the word "pensi$e" earlier, she was hal0ucinating with eFactl% the same formal process that a schi2ophrenic does. 1or eFample, there was a mental patient who looked at us and said "Did %ou #ust see me drink a cup of bloodI" ,e was doing eFactl% the same thing. ,e was taking input from the outside, combining it in an interesting wa% with a response he was making internall%, and then assuming it all came from the outside. AB )here are onl% two distinctions between an%bod% in this room and an institutionali2ed schi2ophrenic7 4:5 whether %ou ha$e a good realit% strateg% and %ou can make that distinction, and 4;5 whether the content of %our hallucination is sociall% acceptable or not. -ecause %ou all hallucinate. Eou all hallucinate that somebod%.s in a good mood or a bad mood, for eFample. (ometimes it reall% is an accurate representation of what %ou are getting from the outside, but sometimes it.s a response to %our own internal state. And if it.s not there, sometimes %ou can induce it. "Is something wrongI" "Ghat.s bothering %ouI" "Now I dont want %ou to worr% about an%thing that happened toda% while %ou were gone." Drinking blood in this culture is not acceptable. I He li$ed in cultures where that.s fine. )he 6asai, in Eastern Africa, sit around and drink cups of blood all the time. No problem. It would be weird in their culture for somebod% to sa% "I can see that %ou are feeling $er% bad about what I #ust said." )he% would begin to wonder about %ou. -ut in this culture it.s re$ersed. Ghen we trained residents in mental hospitals we used to go up earl% and spend time in the wards because the patients there had problems we ne$er had the opportunit% to encounter before. Ge would gi$e them the task of determining for themsel$es which parts of their eFperience were $alidated b% other people, and which were not. 1or instance, with the cup0of0blood gu%, we immediatel% #oined his realit%. "Eeah, warm this one up for me, will %ouI" Ge #oined his realit% so much that he came to trust us. And then we ga$e him the task of disco$ering which parts of his realit% other people in the ward could $alidate for him. Ge didn.t sa% this was reall% here and that wasn.t, but simpl% asked him to determine which parts of his realit% other people could share. And then he learnedas most of us ha$e as childrento talk about those parts of realit% which are either sociall% acceptable hallucinations, or that other people are willing to see and hear and feel, too. )hat.s all he needed to get out of the hospital. ,e.s doing fine. ,e still drinks cups of blood, but he does it b% himself. 6ost ps%chotics #ust dont ha$e a wa% of making distinctions between what.s shared realit% and what.s not. 6an7 6an% ps%chiatrists do not ha$e that, when working with those people. 6an% do not ha$e it, period, as far as I can tell/ )he onl% difference is that the% ha$e other ps%chiatrists that share that realit%, so the% at least ha$e a shared realit%. I.$e made lots of #okes about the wa% humanistic A> ps%chologists treat each other when the% get together. )he% ha$e man% social rituals that did not eFist when I worked at an electronics corporation. )he corporation people didn.t come in in the morning and hold each other.s hands and look meaningfull% into each other.s e%es for fi$e and a half minutes. Now, when somebod% at the corporation sees somebod% do that, the% go "Drrrrhhh/ Geird/" And the people in humanistic ps%cholog% circles think the

corporation people are cold and insensiti$e and inhuman. )o me, the% are both ps%chotic realities, and I.m not sure which one is cra2ier. And if %ou think about shared realities, the corporation people are in the maAority @ Ghere %ou reall% ha$e a choice is when %ou can go from one realit% to the other, and you can ha$e a perspecti$e on what.s going on. 'ne of the cra2iest things is when a humanistic ps%chologist goes to teach a seminar at a corporation and doesn.t alter his beha$ior. )hat inabilit% to ad#ust to a different shared realit% is a demonstration of ps%chosis as far as I.m concerned. )herapists feel letters. I dont think that.s an% more peculiar than drinking cups of blood. E$er%where I go, people tell me the% feel ' and *. )hat.s prett% weird. 'r %ou ask people ",ow do %ou feelI" and the% sa% ?5ot bad." )hink about that for a moment. )hat.s a $er% profound statement. "I feel not bad." )hat.s not a feeling. Neither is "'*." 'ne of the most powerful tools that I think is useful for %ou to ha$e as professional communicators is to make the distinction between perception and hallucination. If %ou can clearl% distinguish what portion of %our ongoing eFperience %ou are creating internall% and putting out there, as opposed to what %ou are actuall% recei$ing through %our sensor% apparatus, %ou will not hallucinate when it.s not useful. Actuall% there is nothing that %ou need to hallucinate about. )here is no outcome in therap% for which hallucinations are necessar%. Eou can sta% strictl% with sensor% eFperience and be $er% powerful, effecti$e, efficient, and creati$e. Eou need onl% three things to be an absolutel% eF"uisite communicator. Ge ha$e found that there are three ma#or patterns in the beha$ior of e$er% therapeutic wi2ard weHe talked toand eFecuti$es, and salespeople. )he first one is to know what outcome %ou want. )he second is that %ou need fleFibilit% in %our beha$ior. Eou need to be able to generate lots and lots of different beha$iors to find out what responses %ou get. )he third is %ou need to ha$e enough AA sensor% eFperience to notice when %ou get the responses that %ou want. If %ou ha$e those three abilities, then %ou can #ust alter %our beha$ior until %ou get the responses that %ou want. )hat.s what we.re doing here. Ge know what outcomes we want, and we put oursel$es into what we call "uptime," in which we.re completel% in sensor% eFperience and ha$e no consciousness at all. Ge aren.t aware of our internal feelings, pictures, $oices, or an%thing else internal. Ge are in sensor% eFperience in relationship to %ou and noticing how %ou respond to us. Ge keep changing our beha$ior until %ou respond the wa% we want %ou to. 3ight now I know what I.m sa%ing because I.m listening to m%self eFternall%. I know how much sense %ou.re making of what I.m sa%ing b% %our responses to it, both conscious and unconscious. I am seeing those. I.m not commenting on them internall%, simpl% noticing them and ad#usting m% beha$ior. I ha$e no idea what I feel like internall%. I ha$e tactile kinesthetic awareness. I can feel m% hand on m% #acket, for instance. It.s a particular altered state. It.s one trance out of man%, and a useful one for leading groups. Goman7 ,ow do %ou ad#ust %ourself in uptimeI Eou said %ou keep ad#usting until %ou get the response %ou want. Ghat ad#ustments are %ou makingI Do %ou eFplain moreI 'r talk moreI 'r.., Gell, I ad#ust all the possible parameters. )he most ob$ious one to me is $oice tone. Eou can ad#ust %our facial eFpression, too. (ometimes %ou can sa% the same words and lift %our e%ebrows and people will suddenl% understand. (ometimes %ou can begin to mo$e %our hands. Gith some people, %ou can draw a picture. (ometimes I can #ust eFplain the same thing o$er again with a different set of words. )hose are some of the logical possibilities that are a$ailable. )here are lots and lots of possibilities. Goman7 Gell, as %ou.re changing %our beha$ior, dont %ou ha$e to be somewhat aware of

what.s going on inside %ouI No. I think most people tr% to do it refleFi$el%, with conscious self0awareness, and most of the strategies of refleFi$e consciousness don.t work. )hat.s wh% most people ha$e such crumm% personal relationships. If I want %ou to act a certain wa%, and I make you the reference for what I.m doing, then all I ha$e to do is keep acting differentl% until you look and sound and beha$e the wa% I want %ou to. If I ha$e to check with m%self to find out, then I.m going to be pa%ing attention to m% feelings and m% internal $oices, which isn.t going to tell me whether I.m getting what I want. 6ost therapists succeed with their clients a do2en times before the% notice it. Goman7 '*. I can see how that would work in therap%, being a therapist. -ut in an intimate relationship it seems like being in uptime wouldn.t be as intimate. 'h, I disagree. I think it would be much more intimate that wa%. I don.t think intimac% is built on talking to %ourself and making pictures internall%. I think intimac% is built on eliciting responses. If I.m in uptime when I.m interacting with somebod%, then I.m going to be able to elicit responses from them which are pleasurable, and intimate, and an%thing else I want. Goman7 If I.m talking to someone about something that I.m feeling and thinking is important to me, then I wouldn.t be in uptime, would II If that is %our definition of intimac%, then we ha$e different definitions of intimac%/ Goman7 I.m sa%ing that it.s part of being intimateC that.s one wa% of being intimate. '*. I disagree with that. Goman7 ,ow can %ou do that if %ou.re in uptimeI Eou can.t do that when %ou.re in uptime. Eou can talk about things that %ou ha#e thought and felt at other times but then %ou wouldn.t be in uptime. I agree that uptime wouldCbe a poor strateg% for talking about internal states, but I don.t happen to consider that intimac%. 1or %our description, uptime is not a good strateg%. Dptime is the onl% one I know which is a generall% effecti$e strateg% to interact with people in terms of getting responses. 1or what %ou.re talking about, I would design a completel% different strateg%, because %ou.re going to ha$e to know what %ou.re thinking and feeling in order to talk about it. -ut I don.t think that will produce connectedness with another human being. -ecause if %ou do that %ou.re not pa%ing attention to them, %ou.re onl% pa%ing attention to yourself. I.m not sa%ing that it.s bad, I.m #ust sa%ing that it.s not going to make %ou feel more connected with someone else. Eou.re not going to ha$e more contact with the woman sitting neFt to %ou if %ou.re inside making pictures and talking to %ourself and ha$ing feelings, and then telling her about them. )hat.s not going to put you in contact with her. All that.s going to do is tell her conscious mind a lot about what.s going on inside %ou when %ou.re not pa%ing attention to her. A@ I ha$e an attorne% who has a great strateg% for sol$ing legal problems. ,e first has a $isual construction in his head of what problem has to be sol$ed. NeFt, in outline, he goes auditor% internal A and checks with a $isual eidetic A, auditor% internal - and checks with $isual eidetic -, and so on, until all of his auditor% and $isual eidetics add up to that $isual construction. )hen he knows that he.s got that problem sol$ed. It.s a super strateg% for legal problems, but it.s a terrible strateg% for personal relationships, and he uses it for that, too. ,e will make a picture of how he wants to interact with somebod%, and then tr% to find pictures of when he.s done it before. ,e can ne$er do an%thing new with an%one unless he.s alread% done all the component pieces before. It.s #ust not a terribl% good strateg% for that task. And while he.s using that strateg%, he.s gonehe isn.t there at all/ 3ecentl% on )H, a ps%chologist was instructing people about how to ha$e better communication. In essence, she was sa%ing "6ake a picture of the wa% %ou want to be, and
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then beha$e that wa%." -ut there was nothing in it about noticing feedback from other people. (he had all these cardboard people standing neFt to her who were her students, going "Ees/ Ge are $er% happ% and we can communicate. And it is so nice to meet %ou, %es/" )he% didn.t e$en know whether the% shook hands or not. )he% had no contact at all, because the% were inside making pictures. )he% all had smiles on their faces, so ma%be the% were happ%, but it.s not a $er% good strateg% to communicate. Ge once ate lunch with a retired arm% colonel who decided that he was going to become a communicator. ,e has two strategies. 'ne is to gi$e commands, and the other is designed to get agreement. Neither strateg% has an%thing to do with gathering informationC his entire strateg% #ust simpl% ends when there is agreement. (o no matter what he sa%s, if %ou sa% "I agree with %ou," he can.t function an%more. ,e.s the kind of person whom %ou would ne$er naturall% agree with about an%thing, no matter what he said, because he.s got a $oice tone that gets %ou to respond negati$el%. Ghen we sat down, e$er%one went cra2%, because the% kept sa%ing "Gell, I wouldn.t put it "uite that wa%," and getting into arguments with him. 1inall% I stopped them all, and eslie and I said in unison "Ge agree with %ou." Ghate$er he said, we.d sa% "Ge agree with %ou." when we did that, he couldn.t generate an% beha$ior/ ,e ceased to &unction. ,e would sit there "uietl% for ten or fifteen minutes, until he Gould take issue with something that the rest of us were talking about. A= Ge would simpl% sa% "Ge agree with %ou" and he was gone again. ,is strateg% to decide what he wanted on the menu was to get e#eryone to ha$e anything off the menu. ,is strateg% was not designed to get food that would please his palateC it was designed to get other people to ha$e the same thing that he had. I guess that.s a good strateg% for a colonel in the Arm%. -ut it.s a lous% strateg% to get something good in a restaurant, or to pick a restaurant, or to ha$e friends, which is something he didn.t ha$e. ,a$ing total sensor% eFperience is a life0long pro#ect, and there isn.t an% limitation to it as far as I know. I now see things, hear things and get information tactuall% that two %ears ago would ha$e seemed like E(! to me. )hat.s a statement about m% willingness to commit some time and energ% to training m%self to refine the distinctions I make between internal and eFternal realities, the refinements I can make in e$er% sensor% channel, and in e$er% internal representational s%stem. A lot of our training in our abilit% to make $isual distinctions we got from 6ilton Erickson. ,e is one of the most eF"uisite $isual detectors in the world. ,e can see things that reall% are "eFtra0 sensor%" for other people, but the% are there, and the% are coming in through the same senses. In the eFercise we did, man% of %ou called me o$er for assistance, sa%ing "Gell, this person doesn.t make an% e%e mo$ements." And %ou finall% admitted "Gell, there.s some slight mo$ement of the e%es." Ghen %ou sa% something is slight, that is a statement about %our abilit% to detect it, not about what.s going on with the other person. It.s like "resistance." If therapists would take "resistance" as a comment about themsel#es instead of their clients, I think the field of ps%chotherap% would de$elop at a faster rate. Ghene$er a client "resists," it.s a statement about what you are doing, not about what they are doing. 'ut of all the wa%s that %ou.$e attempted to make contact and establish rapport, %ou ha$e not %et found one that works. Eou need to be more fleFible in the wa% %ou are presenting %ourself, until %ou get the rapport response %ou want.

Ghat we would like to do neFt is to offer %ou an eFercise to increase %our sensor% eFperience, and to distinguish between sensor% eFperience and hallucination. )his eFercise has four parts7

E+perience #s. =allucination E+ercise8 Part @ Ge want %ou to sit in groups of three. 'ne of %ou we.ll call A, one -, and one +. A, %our #ob is detection. -, %our #ob is to practice A9 eFperiencing different kinds of eFperience. + is simpl% an obser$er, and can also help A and keep track of what to do neFt. -, %ou select, without mentioning an%thing $erball%, three different eFperiences that %ou had which were $er% intense eFperiences. )he% can be from an% part of %our life, but make them distincti$e, one from the otherC don.t take three similar occasions. Eou can #ust identif% them b% dropping inside and finding representati$e eFamples, and simpl% number them one, two, and three. )hen hold hands with A and announce "one." )hen go internal, drop out of sensor% eFperience, go back to that time and place, and ha$e that eFperience again without an% o$ert $erbali2ation. )ake a minute or two or three to reli$e that eFperience full%.... )hen announce "two" and reli$e it.... )hen announce "three" and reli$e that.... Now there is one incredibl% important factor. 1or those of %ou who are $er% $isual, it will be imperati$e that %ou do not see %ourself there, but see what you saw when you were there. 1or eFample, close %our e%es and see yourself from abo#e or the side somewhere, riding on a roller coaster, #ust about to go down that first big drop.... Now step into that image of %ourself inside the roller coaster and see what %ou would see if %ou were actuall% there riding it. )hose are $er% different eFperiences. )he kinesthetics come in profoundl% once %ou break the dissociation of seeing %ourself o$er there, and put %our perceptual position inside %our bod% on the roller coaster. As %ou go back and find these three eFperiences and re0eFperience them, it is important that %ou do not do it dissociated. Eou ma% begin b% seeing %ourselfC then get inside the picture. Ghen %ou are inside the picture and %ou feel the eFperience in %our bod% again as %ou did before, %ou begin to s"uee2e A.s hand, thereb% cuing them tactuall% that %ou are now ha$ing that eFperience. A, %our #ob is simpl% to obser$e the changes in -, as sJhe goes through the three eFperiences. I want %ou to watch skin color changes, si2e of lower lip, breathing, posture, muscle tonus, etc. )here will be man% profound changes in - that %ou can see $isuall% as - goes through this eFperience. Part 2 - will do eFactl% the same thing as in !art :7 sJhe will announce "one" and re0eFperience it, then "two" and "three." -ut this time A will <8 not onl% watch the changes but describe them out loud. +.s #ob is to make sure that all the descriptions that A offers are sensory9based descriptions7 ")he corners of %our mouth are rising. Eour skin color is deepening. Eour breathing is high and shallow and increasing in rate. )here.s more tension in %our right cheek than %our left." )hose are descriptions that allow + who is watching as well as listening to %our descriptionto $erif%, or not, what in fact %ou are claiming. If A sa%s "Eou.re looking happ%C now %ou.re looking worried," those are not sensor%0based descriptions. ",app%" and "worried" are #udgements. +.s #ob is to make sure that A.s descriptions are sensor%0based, and to challenge an% utterance that is not sensor%0 based. Part 1 )his time - goes into one of the three eFperiences without identif%ing it b% number. Eou #ust pick one of the three and go into it. A sits there, again obser$ing -, sa%ing nothing until sJhe finishes that eFperience. And then A, %ou tell - which eFperience it was7 "one," "two,"

or "three." - continues to run through those three eFperiences in an% order other than the original order, until A is capable of correctl% naming which eFperience %ou are ha$ing. If A can.t do it the first time through, simpl% start o$er again. Don.t tell them which one was which, or that what the% thought was number one was reall% number threeC #ust tell them to back up and start o$er again. It.s a wa% of training %our senses to be acute.

Part / )his time - goes into an% one of the three eFperiences again and A hallucinates and guesses, as specificall% as sJhe can, what the content of that eFperience is. And belie$e me, %ou can get #ery specific and #ery accurate. In parts :,;, and B we ask %ou to sta% in sensor% eFperience. In part > we.re asking %ou to hallucinate. )his is to make a clean distinction between sensor%0based eFperience and hallucination. ,allucination can be a $er% powerful, positi$e thing. An%bod% who has e$er done a workshop with Hirginia (atir knows that she uses hallucination in $er% powerful and creati$e wa%s, for instance in her famil% sculpting. At some point after she has gathered information she.ll pause and sort through all the $isual images that she has, preparator% to sculpting or making a famil% stress ballet. (he will change the images around until it feels right to her. )hat.s "see0feel," the same strateg% as spelling or #ealous%. )hen she takes the images that satisf% her kinestheticall%, and she puts them on the famil% b% sculpting them. )hat.s a case where hallucination is an integral part of a $er% creati$e and effecti$e process. ,allucination isnt good or badC it.s #ust another choice. -ut it.s important to know what %ou are doing. '*. Go ahead.
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All right. Are there an% comments or "uestions about this last eFercise we didI (ome of %ou surprised %oursel$es b% the guesses %ou made, rightI And others of %ou scored 2ero. Ghether %ou did well or not is reall% irrele$ant. Either wa%, %ou got important information about what %ou are able to percei$e, and whether or not what %ou hallucinate has an% relationship to what %ou percei$e. Eou can take the training we.re gi$ing %ou and %ou can notice as %ou are communicating with a client or a lo$ed one that the responses that %ou are getting are not the ones that %ou want. If %ou take that as an indication that what you are doing is not wor3ing and change %our beha$ior, something else will happen. If %ou lea$e %our beha$ior the same, %ou will get more of what %ou are alread% getting. Now, that sounds utterl% simple. -ut if %ou can put that into practice, %ou will ha$e gotten more out of this seminar than people e$er get. 1or some reason, that seems to be the hardest thing in the world to put into practice. The meaning of your communication is the response that you get. If %ou can notice that %ou are not getting what %ou want, change what you!re doing. -ut in order to notice that, %ou ha$e to clearl% distinguish between what %ou are getting from the outside, and how %ou are interpreting that material in a compleF manner at the unconscious le$el, contributing to it b% %our own internal state. )he eFercise %ou #ust did was essentiall% limited to one sensor% channel. It was a wa% of assisting %ou in going through an eFercise in which %ou clean up %our $isual input channel. Eou also get some kinesthetic information through holding hands. Eou can do it auditoril% as well, and also kinestheticall%. Eou can generali2e that same eFercise to the other two s%stems. If %ou are going to do it auditoril%, A would close his e%es. - would then describe the eFperience without words, #ust using sounds. )he tonal and tempo <;

patterns will be distincti$e and since A.s e%es will be closed, all he has is the auditor% input. 'r %ou could #ust think about the eFperience and talk about cooking lunch. )hat.s the wa% couples often do it with one another. ,e makes a picture of his wife ha$ing an affair and then the% talk about going camping, rightI And he goes 4angril%5 "Eeah, I.d reall% like to go with %ou. I think we.d ha$e a good time. I.m going to bring the aF so I can chop up some firewood.? Another thing couples do is fight in >uotes. Do %ou know about "uotesI Luotes is a wonderful pattern. If an% of %ou ha$e clients who work at #obs and ha$e resentment for their bosses or fellow emplo%ees, but who can.t reall% eFpress it because it.s inappropriate, or the% might get fired or something, teach them the pattern of "uotes in language. It.s mar$elous because the% can walk up to their emplo%er and sa% "I was #ust out on the street and this man walked up to me and said .!6ou!re a stupid Aer3.(? And I didn.t know what to sa% to him. Ghat would %ou do if somebod% walked up to %ou and said. 6ou !re aAer3.( &ust right out on the street, %ou know." !eople ha$e almost no consciousness of an% meta0le$els if %ou distract them with content. 'nce at a conference I talked to a large group of ps%chologists who were prett% stuff% and asked a lot of dumb "uestions. I told them about "uotes as a pattern. )hen I said for e+ample<I e$en told them what I wa? doing6ilton Erickson once told me a stor% about a time he sta%ed at a turke% farm, and the turke%s made a lot of noise and kept him awake at night. ,e didn.t know what to do. (o finall% one night he walked outsideand I faced all those ps%chologists out thereand he reali2ed he was surrounded b% turke%s, hundreds of turke%s e$er%where. )urke%s here, and turke%s there, and turke%s all o$er the place. And he looked at them and he said " 6ou tur3eysT )here were a couple of people there who knew what I was doing and the% absolutel% cracked up. I stood on the stage in front of these people who were pa%ing me a fortune and I went" 6ou tur3eysB? )he% didn.t know what I was doing. )he% all sat there nodding seriousl%. If %ou are congruent, the% will ne#er know. If %ou feed people interesting content, %ou can eFperiment with an% pattern. As soon as I said "I.m going to tell %ou a stor% about 6ilton" e$er%bod% went "content time" and that was all it took. In the middle of telling the stor%, I e$en turned around and laughed <B at the top of m% lungs. And then I turned back and finished it. )he% #ust thought it was a weird beha$ior, because I laugh a lot. 'r I could ha$e made the laughing part of the stor%. "6ilton turned around and laughed." At the end of the da% all these people came up to me and said "And I want to tell %ou how important this has been to me" and I said ")hank %ou. Did %ou hear the stor% about 6iltonI I don.t want %ou to think that it!s about your Eou can tr% any new beha$ior in "uotes and it won.t seem to be %ou doing it. Luotes gi$es %ou a lot of freedom to eFperiement with gaining fleFibilit%, because it means that %ou can do an%thing. I can go into a restaurant and walk up to a waitress and sa% "I #ust went in the bathroom and this gu% walked up to me and said .-link,." and find out what happens. (he.ll blink, and I.ll go "Isn.t that weirdI" and walk awa%. It wasn.t me, so I didn.t ha$e to worr% about it. It.s a big piece of personal freedomC %ou are no longer responsible for %our own beha$ior because it.s "someone else.s beha$ior." Ghen I was going to ps%chiatric meetings and stuff, I would walk up to someone and sa% "I was #ust in a conference with Dr. N, and he did this thing IHe ne$er seen an%one do before. ,e walked up to this person, lifted up his hand like this, and said . ook at that hand.." )hen I.d do a fifteen or twent% minute trance induction and put the person into a trance. )hen I.d slap him in the stomach so he came out, and sa% "Isn.t that a weird thing for him to doI" ,e would go "Eeah, that.s a reall% weird thing for him to do. ,e shouldn.t do things like that." And I.d go "Jwould ne$er do an%thing like that. Gould %ouI" And he.d sa% "No/"

Luotes also works great if %ou.re doing therap% with a famil% that fights and argues and won.t listen, because %ou can lean forward and %ou can sa% "I.m so glad %ou.re such a responsi$e famil%, because with the last famil% that was here I had to look at each and e$er% person and sa% !;hut your mouth.. )hat.s what I had to tell them.? It reminds me of a group we did in (an DiegoC there were about a hundred and fift% people and we told them ")he neFt thing that we.d like to tell %ou is how couples often fight in "uotes." "Gell, if %ou were to tell me that, %ou know what I would sa% to %ouI" "Gell, if %ou told me to do that, I.d #ust tell %ou to go to hell/" "Gell, listen, if %ou e$er said that to me I.d reach right o$er and,.." )he trouble is the% usuall% lose "uotes, and actuall% get into a fight. <> 6ost of %ou ha$e heard "uotes in famil% therap%. Eou ask",ow did it goI" If the% stumble on reporting an argument, the%.ll start in "uotes and then the%.ll be into it again/ All their non0 $erbal analogues will support it. Luotes is a dissociati$e pattern, and when the dissociation collapses, the "uotes go. Grief is usuall% a similar pattern. Ghat.s going on in the grief0stricken person is this7 the% make a constructed $isual image of being with the lost person. )he% are seeing themsel$es with the lo$ed one who is now dead or gone, una$ailable somehow. )heir response called "grief or "sense of loss" is a compleF response to being dissociated from those memories. )he% see their lo$ed one and themsel$es ha$ing a good time, and the% feel empt% because they are not there in the picture. If the% were to step inside the $er% same picture that stimulates the grief response, the% would reco$er the positi$e kinesthetic feelings of the good eFperiences the% shared with that person the% cared $er% much about. )hat would then ser$e as a resource for them going on and constructing something new for themsel$es in their li$es, instead of a trigger for a grief response. Guilt.s a little different. )here are a couple of wa%s to feel guilt%. 'ne of the best wa%s to feel guilt% is to make a picture of the response on someone.s face when %ou did something that the% didn.t like. In this case %ou are making a $isual eidetic picture. Eou can feel guilt% about an%thing that wa%. ,owe$er, if %ou step outside the picture, in other words re$erse the procedure that we use with grief, what happens is that %ou will no longer feel guilt%, because then %ou literall% get a new perspecti$e. It sounds too eas%, doesn.t itI It is too eas%. Ninet%0nine out of a hundred depressed clients that I ha$e seen ha$e eFactl% the same pattern. )he% will be $isuali2ing andJor talking to themsel$es about some eFperience that is depressing to them. -ut all the% will ha$e in awareness are the kinesthetic feelings. And the% will use words which are appropriate7 "weighed down, burdened, hea$%, crushing." ,owe$er, if %ou ask them an% "uestions about their feelings, the% will gi$e %ou an elegant, non0$erbal description of how the% create their depression. ",ow do %ou know %ou.re depressedI ,a$e %ou felt this wa% a long timeI Ghat started this s%ndromeI" )he eFact "uestions are wholl% irrele$antC the% are #ust wa%s of accessing that process. Depressed people usuall% make a series of $isual images, usuall% constructed and outside of awareness. Dsuall% the% ha$e no idea that <A the% are making an% images. (ome of %ou had that eFperience with %our partners toda%. Eou told them that the% were accessing in a s%stem, and the% went "'h, I don.t know about that" and the% didn.t, because that wasn.t in their awareness. Depressed people are running profoundl% effecti$e h%pnotic inductions b% seeing images and talking about them outside of awareness and responding in consciousness with onl% the feelings. )he% are going to be bewildered about where their feelings come from, since where the% come from is totall% outside of their awareness.

6an%, man% people who ha$e weight problems are doing the same thing. )he% will ha$e a h%pnotic $oice that goes "Don.t eat that cake in the refrigerator." "Don.t think about all the cand% in the li$ing room." "Dont feel hungr%." 6ost people ha$e no idea that commands like that are actuall% commands to do the beha$ior. In order to understand the sentence "Don.t think of blue" %ou ha$e to access the meaning of the words and think of blue. If a child is in a dangerous situation and %ou sa% "Dont fall down," in order for him to understand what %ou ha$e said, he has to access some representation of "falling down." )hat internal representation, especiall% if it is kinesthetic, will usuall% result in the beha$ior that the parent is tr%ing to pre$ent. ,owe$er, if %ou gi$e positi$e instructions like "-e carefulC pa% attention to %our balance and mo$e slowl%," then the child will access representations that will help him cope with the situation. 6an7 +an %ou sa% more about guiltI Guilt is like e$er%thing else. It.s #ust a word, and the "uestion is "Ghat e+perience does the word refer toI" 1or %ears now people ha$e walked into ps%chiatric offices of all kinds and said "I ha$e guilt." )herapists ha$e heard the word "guilt" and said "Eeah, I know what %ou mean." If that same person had walked in and said "I ha$e some N," those therapists wouldn.t ha$e made the #ump to thinking that the% understood what the person meant. )he point we are tr%ing to make about guilt and depression and #ealous% and all those other words is that the important thing is to find out how it wor3s<find out what the process is. ,ow does someone know when it.s time to be guilt% as opposed to when it.s not time to be guilt%I And we said that an eFampleand this is 'N E 'NE eFampleof how to feel guilt% is to make eidetic images of people looking disappointed, and then feel bad about it. )here are other wa%s

%ou can feel guilt%. Eou can make constructed images or %ou can talk %ourself into feeling guilt%. )here are lots and lots of wa%s to go about it. It.s important with each indi$idual that %ou find out how the% do it, if %ou want to change that process to something else. If the wa% the% make themsel$es feel guilt% is with eidetic images, %ou can ha$e them change the eidetic image into a constructed image. If the% do it with constructed images, %ou can ha$e them change it into an eidetic one. If the% talk to themsel$es, %ou can ha$e them sing to themsel$es. If %ou ha$e the sensor% refinements to be able to disco$er the specific steps in the process that the person goes through to create an% response which the% don.t find useful and which the% want to change, it gi$es %ou multiple points of inter$ention. )he inter$ention can be as simple as substituting one s%stem for another, because that will break up the pattern. 'ne woman had a phobia of heights. 'ur office was on the third stor%, which was kind of con$enient. (o I asked her to go o$er and look out the window and describe to me what happened. )he first time she went o$er, she #ust choked. I told her that wasn.t an ade"uate description. I had to know how she got to the point of choking and being $er% upset. -% asking a lot of "uestions, I disco$ered that what happened is that she would make a constructed picture of herself falling out, ha$e the feeling of falling, and then feel nauseous. (he did that $er% "uickl%, and the picture was outside of consciousness. (o I asked her to walk o$er to the window while she sang the National Anthem inside her head. Now that sounds kind of sill%, eFcept that she walked o$er to the window and she didn.t ha$e the phobic response/ None whatsoe$er. (he.d had the phobia for %ears and %ears and %ears. A man who was a +ree Indian medicine man, a shaman, came to a workshop and we were discussing different mechanisms that worked cross0culturall% as far as inducing change in a rapid and effecti$e wa%. If a person has a headache, an old semi0gestalt thing to do is to sit them in a chair, ha$e them look at an empt% chair, ha$e them intensif% the feeling of the pain, and ha$e the intensified pain the% are feeling de$elop into a cloud of smoke in the other chair.

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(lowl% the smoke forms itself into an image of someone the% ha$e unfinished business with, and then %ou do whate$er %ou do. And it worksC the headache goes awa%, )he counterpart for this0shaman was that he alwa%s carries a blank <@ piece of paper. Ghene$er an%bod% comes to him and sa%s "I ha$e a headache, will %ou assist meI" he sa%s "Ees, of course, but before I begin I want %ou to spend fi$e minutes stud%ing this piece of paper in absolute detail, because it contains something of great interest for %ou." )he thing in common about those two inter$entions is that the% both in$ol$e switching representational s%stems. Eou break up the process b% which the person is ha$ing the eFperience the% don.t want to ha$e, b% ha$ing their attention ri$eted in some other representational s%stem than the one in which the% are presentl% recei$ing messages of pain. )he result is absolutel% identical in both cases. -% stud%ing the blank piece of paper intentl%, or b% intensif%ing the feeling and making it change into a picture in the chair, %ou are doing the same thing. Eou are switching representational s%stems, and that is a reall% profound inter$ention for an% presenting problem. An%thing that changes the pattern or se"uence of e$ents a person goes through internall%in responding to either internal or eFternal stimuliwill make the response that the% are stuck in no longer possible. Ge had a man in 6arin, +alifornia, and e$er% time he saw a snake no matter how far awa% it was, no matter where he was in respect to it or who was around ithis pupils would immediatel% dilate. Eou had to be close enough to see it. ,e would make an image of a snake fl%ing through the air. )his was outside of awareness until we unco$ered it. Ghen he was siF %ears old somebod% threw a snake at him uneFpectedl% and it scared him badl%. ,e then responded kines0theticall% as a siF0%ear0old to the internal image of a snake fl%ing through the air toward him. 'ne thing we could ha$e done was to simpl% change the content of that picture. Ge could ha$e had him make a picture of someone throwing kisses. Ghat we actuall% cfcJwas simpl% switch the order in which the s%stems occurred. Ge had him ha$e the kinesthetic response first and then make the picture internall%. )hat made it impossible for him to be phobic. Eou can treat e$er% limitation that is presented to %ou as a uni"ue accomplishment b% a human being, and disco$er what the steps are. 'nce %ou understand what the steps are, %ou can re$erse the order in which the steps occur, %ou can change the content, %ou can insert some new piece or delete a step. )here are all kinds of interesting things %ou can do. If %ou belie$e that the important aspect of change is "understanding the roots of the problem and the deep hidden inner meaning" and that %ou reall% ha$e to deal with the content as an issue, <= then probabl% it will take %ou %ears to change people. If %ou change the form, %ou change the outcome at least as well as if %ou work with content. )he tools that it takes to change form are easier to work with. It.s a lot easier to change form, and the change is more per$asi$e. 6an7 Ghat are some "uestions that %ou ask to elicit the steps in the process that people go throughI Ask them to ha$e the eFperience. Ask them about the last time the% had the eFperience, or what would happen if the% were to ha$e it right here, or if the% remember the last time it happened. An% of those "uestions will elicit the same unconscious responses we.$e been showing %ou here. Ghene$er I ask a "uestion or make a statement about something to someone here in the group, if %ou are alert the response will alread% be made non0$erball% much earlier and more completel% than the person will consciousl% be able to $erbali2e the answer eFplicitl%. ",ow do %ou know when %ou are being phobic, as opposed to when %ou are not being phobicI" ",ow do %ou knowI" "uestions usuall% will take %ou to #ust about e$er%thing.

!eople ha$e a tendenc% to demonstrate it, rather than bring it into consciousness. 'ur book The ;tructure of ,agic, Jis de$oted to what we call the "meta0model." It.s a $erbal model, a wa% of listening to iteform of $erbali2ation as opposed to content. 'ne of the distinctions is called "unspecified $erb." If I.m %our client and I sa% to %ou "6% father scares me," do %ou ha$e an understanding of what I.m talking aboutI No, of course not. "6% father N.s me" would be as meaningful. -ecause for one person "1ather scares me" ma% mean that his father put a loaded .B= to his head. And for someone else it ma% simpl% mean that his father walked through the li$ing room and didn.t sa% an%thing/ (o the sentence "6% father scares me" has $er% little content. It simpl% describes that there is some processat this point unspecified. )he pattern, of course, is to be able to listen to language and know when a person has ade"uatel% specified some eFperience with a $erbal description. 'ne of the things we teach with the meta0model is that when %ou get a sentence like "6% father scares me" to ask for a specification of the process that the person is referring to called "scare." ",ow specificall% does %our father scare %ouI". ",ow specificall% do %ou know %ou are depressed, or guilt%, or phobicI" "*now" is another word like scare. <9 It doesn.t specif% the process. (o if I sa% to %ou "Gell, I thin3 that I ha$e a problem" that doesn.t tell %ou an%thing about the process. If %ou sa% ?=ow do %ou think itI" initiall% people will go " WhatCT -ut after the% get o$er the initial shock of being asked such a peculiar "uestion, the% will begin to demonstrate the process to %ou, at first non0$erball%. )he%.ll go "Gell, I #ust think it." 4e%es and head mo$ing up and to his left5 'r the%.ll go "Ah, I don.t know. I #ust, %ou know, it.s #ust a thought I ha$e." 4e%es and head mo$ing down and to his left5 )he combination of the unspecified $erbs that the person is using and the "uite elegant non0$erbal specification b% e%e mo$ements and bod% shifts will gi$e %ou the answer to the "uestion, whether the% e$er become conscious of it or not. If %ou keep asking "uestions, usuall% people will become conscious of their process and eFplain it to %ou. Dsuall% people do it with disdain, because the% assume that e$er%bod% thinks the same wa% the% do, with the same kind of processes. 'ne well0known therapist told us seriousl% one da% "E$er% intelligent, adult human being alwa%s thinks in pictures." Now, that.s a statement about him. )hat.s the wa% he organi2es a great deal of his conscious acti$it%. It has $er% little to do with about half the population we ha$e encountered in this countr%. Luite often at seminars like this, people ask "uestions in the following wa%. )he% go "Ghat do %ou do with someone who.s depressedI" 4pointing at himself5 )he word "someone" isn.t specified, $erball%. Ge sa% it.s a word with no referential indeF. It doesn.t refer to something specific in the world of eFperience. ,owe$er, the non$erbal communication was $er% specific in that case, and people do the same thing with other non0$erbal processes. If %ou are able to identif% things like accessing cues and other non0$erbal cues, %ou can be prett% clear about how something works. !eople will come in and sa% "Gell, I ha$e a problem" and their non0$erbal beha$ior has alread% gi$en %ou the se"uence that produces it. (o a ",ow specificall%I" "uestion or a ",ow do %ou knowI" "uestion will usuall% gi$e %ou a complete non0$erbal specification of the process that the person goes through. ,agic Jhas a $er% complete specification of how to ask appropriate "uestions using the meta0 model. 'ne of our students taught the meta0model to a hospital nursing staff. (o if a patient said "I.m sure I.m going to get worse" or "I can.t get up %et," the nurse would ask ",ow do %ou know thatI" )he nurse @8 would then follow that up with other meta0model "uestions, to help the patient reali2e the limitations of his world model. )he result was that the a$erage hospital sta% was reduced from :> da%s to :;.; da%s.

)he whole idea of the meta0model is to gi$e %ou s%stematic control o$er language. Ghen we first took the time to teach it to our students, the result was the following7 first there was a period where the% went around and meta0modeled each other for a week. )hen the% began to hear what the% said on the outside. )he% would sometimes stop in midsentence because the% would begin to hear themsel$es. )hat.s something else the meta0model does7 it teaches %ou how to listen not onl% to other people but to %ourself. )he neFt thing that happened is that the% turned inside and began to meta0model their own internal dialogue. )hat changed their internal language from being something that terrori2ed them to being something that was useful. )he meta0model is reall% simplistic, but it.s still the foundation of e$er%thing we do. Githout it, and without s%stematic control o$er it, %ou will do e$er%thing that we teach %ou sloppil%. )he difference between the people who do the things that we teach well and those that don.t, are people who ha$e control o$er the meta0model. It is literally the foundation of e$er%thing we do. Eou can be bright and witt% and sharp and make the most compleF, metaphor in the world, but if %ou can.t gather information well, both internall% and eFternall%, %ou won.t know what to do. )he meta0model "uestions are the ones that reall% gi$e %ou the appropriate information immediatel%. It.s a great tool for that, both on the outside and the inside. It will turn %our internal dialogue into something useful. Ghen %ou use language with people, the% assume that all the stuff the% are accessing on the inside is the same as what %ou said. )here.s so much going on inside that the% ha$e no consciousness of the eFternal form of %our communication. Eou can utter sentences of s%ntaF which ha$e no meaning and people will respond to %ou as if what %ou said is completel% meaningful. I.m surprised that an%one e$er noticed that some schi2ophrenics speak "word salad." I ha$e gone into places and spoken word salad and people ha$e responded to me as if I had uttered perfect English. And of course %ou can embed cra2% commands in word salad. 'nce we were ha$ing a part% at our house and we wanted to bu% some champagne. Ge li$e in an area where there are no stores, so we went into a restaurant and said " ook, we want to bu% a couple of @: bottles of champagne to take home." And the gu% said "'h, we can.t do that. It.s against the law." Ge said "Gell, we.re ha$ing a part% and we come here and eat a lot and isn.t there an%thing %ou can do somethingr ,e stopped for a moment, and he said "Gait a second. I think I can do something." (o he took the bottles and ga$e them to himself, and then he went outside behind the restaurant and ga$e them to us and we tipped him. 'ur beha$ior was totall% bi2arre, but he had to respond, because the onl% thing that was e$ident in his consciousness was this odd se"uence. It.s reall% important to understand that most people are $er% chaoticall% organi2ed on the inside. 6an7 Does the intellectual le$el of the client make a difference, sa% retarded $ersus geniusI No. I don.t know of an%. Dnconscious minds operate ama2ingl% the same no matter what the educational le$el or intelligence le$el is. "IL" is also a function of the kinds of structures weHe been talking about. Goman7 Ghen %ou ask the person to go through whate$er the eFperience is that troubles them and %ou watch them, %ou become aware of what the process is that the% go throughI Ees, in a special sense of the word "awareness.")here is nothing that I ha$e done here at an% point toda% that I am conscious of, in the normal sense of being refleFi$el% conscious of what I am doing. )he first time I know what I.m going to do or sa% is when I find m%self doing it or hear m%self sa%ing it. )his is an important point. I reall% belie$e that the face0to0face task of communicating with another human being, let alone a group of people, is far too compleF to tr% to do consciousl%. Eou can.t do it consciousl%. If %ou do, %ou break up the

natural flow of communication. Are there an% of %ou who pla% musicI ,ow man% people in here can pla% an instrumentI '*. ,ow man% of %ou, when %ou pla% something well, pla% it consciousl%I ... EFactl%. None of %ou. Eou are aware of the result, the sounds %ou are making, but not of the process of making them. And what happens when %ou become conscious of what %ou.re doing in the middle of pla%ing somethingI -oom/ Eou mess it up. Eet in order to learn to pla% that $er% same piece of music, %ou went through some conscious steps. As we are communicating to %ou here, I am aware in the sense that I respond directl%. -ut I ha$e no refleFi$e consciousness of what I am doing. If I did, I.d do a crumm% #ob. et.s sa% %ou go back into %our office 6onda% morning and a new @; client walks in and sa%s "I ha$e a phobia of gum chewing." A little $oice goes off inside %our head and sa%s "Ah/ )his is an unprecedented opportunit% for me to tr% to do something new." And then %ou look up and ask the person "Gell, when was the last time that %ou had a #ery intense phobic responseI" )hen the% begin to go through certain e%e mo$ements and stuff. If %ou begin $isuali2ing the blackboard up here, and the list of the accessing cues, and talking to %ourself about the things %ou heard us sa%, and ha$ing feelings about whether %ou are going to be able to do this or not, %ou will ha$e no sensor% information on which to base what %ou do. )hat.s the sense in which refleFi$e consciousness in face0to0face communication is not going to be useful. If %ou ha$e to tell %ourself things, and make pictures, and ha$e feelings while %ou are doing therap%, probabl% %ou will end up doing therap% on %ourself. I think that.s what happens much of the time. 'ften therapists are not doing therap% with the other human being in the room. )he% are doing therap% with themsel$es. And man% clients who change, change b% metaphor. 6ost people in the field of therap% go to school, but the% don.t learn an%thing about people that is rele$ant to therap% in an% wa%. )he% learn about statistics7 ")hree and a half percent of clients are..." -ut %ou $er% rarel% ha$e a hundred people walk into %our office so that %ou can work with three and a half of them. (o %ou go to workshops to learn how to do therap%. )here are a lofof people who are $er% good therapists who do workshops but who don.t know how the% do what the% do. )he% will tell %ou what the% thin3 the% are doing, thereb% distracting %ou from pa%ing attention to the client the% are working with. If %ou are luck% %ou will pick up the kinds of cues we.re talking about subliminall%, and be able to respond out of %ourself in some s%stematic wa%. ,owe$er, that doesn.t work with a large number of people. )here are a large number of people doing therap% unsuccessfull%. Ghat %ou need to begin to do is to restructure %our own beha$ior in terms of pa%ing attention to %our clients. As professional communicators, it seems to me to make a lot of sense for %ou to spend some time consciousl% practicing specific kinds of communication patterns so that the% become as unconscious and as s%stematic in %our beha$ior as riding a bic%cle or dri$ing a car. Eou need to train %oursel$es to be s%stematic in %our beha$ior, which re"uires some conscious inter$ening practice time. (o that when %ou see $isual accessing cues and hear $isual predicates, %ou can auto0 @B maticall% ha$e the choice of responding b% matching, or responding b% mismatching, or an% combination that %ou can think of. In other words, %ou need a good unconscious s%stematic repertoire of patterns for each choice point that %ou ha$e that.s going to come up repetiti$el% in %our work7 ,ow do I establish rapport with this other human beingI ,ow do I respond in a situation in which the% don.t ha$e information consciousl% and $erball% to respond to m% "uestionI ,ow do I respond to incongruit%I )hose are all choice points. Identif% what choice points are repetiti$e in %our eFperience of doing %our work, and for each of those choice points, ha$e a half a do2en

different responsesat least three, each one of which is unconscious and s%stematic in %our beha$ior. If %ou don.t ha$e three choices about how to respond to things that occur in the therapeutic situation, then I don.t think %ou are operating out of a position of choice. If %ou onl% ha$e one wa%, then %ou are a robot. If %ou ha$e two, %ou.ll be in a dilemma. Eou need a solid foundation from which to generate choices. 'ne wa% to get that solid foundation is to consider the structure of %our beha$ior and %our acti$it% in therap%. !ick out points that are repetiti$e, make sure %ou ha$e lots of responses to each of those points, then forget about the whole thing. And add one ingredient, a meta0rule which sa%s ?@f what you are doing is not wor3ing, change it. o anything else.? (ince consciousness is limited, respect that and dont go "Good, I.m going to do all those things that happened in this workshop." Eou can.t. Ghat %ou can do is for the first fi$e minutes of e$er% third inter$iew e$er% da% begin b% sa%ing " ook, before we begin toda% there are a couple of things I need to know about %our general cogniti$e functioning. Gould %ou tell me which color is at the top of a stoplightI" Ask "uestions that access representational s%stems, and tune %ourself for fi$e minutes to that person.s responses so that %ou will know what.s happening later in the session under stress. E$er% )hursda% %ou can tr% matching predicates with the first client that comes in, and mismatching with the second. )hat is a wa% of s%stematicall% disco$ering what the outcome of %our beha$ior is. If %ou don.t organi2e it that wa%, it will sta% random. If %ou organi2e it and feel free to limit %ourself to specific patterns and notice the outcome, and then change to new patterns, %ou will build up an incredible repertoire of responses at the unconscious le$el. )his is the onl% wa% that we know of to learn to become more fleFible systematically. )here are probabl% @> other wa%s. )his #ust happens to be the onl% one we know about now. 6an7 It sounds to me as if %ou are telling us to eFperiment with our clients. I think I ha$e a professional obligation to I disagree. I think %ou ha$e an obligation to eFperiment with e#ery client to make %ourself more skilled, because in the long run %ou are going to be able to help more people more eFpedientl%. If, under the guise of professionalism, %ou don!t tr% to eFpand %our skills and eFperiment, basicall% I think %ou are missing the point and professionalism becomes #ust one wa% to limit %ourself. )hink about "professionalism." If professionalism is a name for a set of things that %ou can!t do, then %ou are restricting %our beha$ior. In c%bernetics there.s a law called the aw of 3e"uisite Hariet%. It sa%s that in an% s%stem of human beings or machines, the element in that s%stem with the widest range of $ariabilit% will be the controlling element. And if %ou restrict %our beha$ior, %ou lose on re"uisite $ariet%. )he prime eFamples of that are mental hospitals. I dont know about %our mental hospitals here, but in +alifornia we.$e got some real whackos in ours, and we ha$e a lot of patients, too. It.s eas% to distinguish the staff, because the staff has a professional ethic. )he% ha$e a group hallucination and this group hallucination is more dangerous to them than to an%one else, because the% belie$e that the% must restrict their beha$ior in certain wa%s. )hose wa%s make them act consistentl%, and the patients don.t ha$e to pla% b% those rules. )he widest range of fleFibilit% is going to allow %ou to elicit responses and control the situation. Gho.s going to be able to elicit the most responsesthe ps%chiatrist who is acting "normal" or the patient who is acting weirdI I.d like to gi$e %ou m% fa$orite eFample.

Ge.re walking down a corridor in Napa (tate 6ental ,ospital in +alifornia with a group of resident ps%chiatrists. Ge approach a large da% room and we are talking in normal tones. As we reach the door and open it and walk in, all of the ps%chiatrists begin to whisper. (o of course we began to whisper too. )hen finall% we looked at each other and said "Gh% are we whisperingI" And one of the ps%chiatrists turned to us and whispered "'h, there.s a catatonic in the room. Ge don.t want to disturb him." Now when a catatonic can ha$e re"uisite $ariet% o$er

a professional, then I #oin the catatonics. Ghen %ou go to +alifornia, most therapists ha$e a different professional ethic. 1or eFample, in order to be a good communicator,

@A %ou must dress like a farm worker. )hat.s the first rule. )he second rule is that %ou must hug e$er%one too hard. )hose people are alwa%s laughing at the ps%chiatrists because the% ha$e to wear ties/ )o me, their beha$ior is #ust as restricted and one0dimensional and limited. )he trouble with man% professional ethical codes, whether the% are humanistic, anal%tic or an%thing else, is that the% limit %our beha$ior. And whene$er %ou accept an% "I won.t do it," there are people %ou are not going to be able to work with. Ge went into that same ward at Napa and I walked o$er and stomped on the catatonic.s foot as hard as I could and got an immediate response. ,e came right out of "catatonia," #umped up, and said ?? on!t do thatT 1rank 1arrell%, who wrote Pro#ocati#e Therapy, is a reall% eF"uisite eFample of re"uisite $ariet%. ,e is willing to do an%thing to get contact and rapport. 'nce he was doing a demonstration with a woman who had been catatonic for three or four %ears. ,e sits down and looks at her and warns her fairl%7 "I.m going to get %ou." (he #ust sits there catatonicall%, of course. It.s a hospital, and she.s wearing a hospital gown. ,e reaches o$er and he pulls a hair out of her leg #ust abo$e the ankle. And there.s no response, rightI (o he mo$es up an inch and a half, and pulls out another hair. No response. ,e mo$es up another inch and a half, and pulls out another hair. ?Get your hands offmeT 6ost people would not consider that "professional." -ut the interesting thing about some things that are not professional is that the% wor3B 1rank sa%s that he.s ne$er %et had to go abo$e the knee. I ga$e a lecture at an anal%tic institute in )eFas once. -efore we began, for three hours, the% read research to me demonstrating basicall% that cra2% people couldn.t be helped. And at the end I said "I.m beginning to get a picture here. et me find out if I.m right. Is what %ou are tr%ing to tell me that %ou don.t belie$e that therap%, the wa% it.s done presentl%, worksI" And the% said "No, what we.re tr%ing to tell %ou is that we don.t belie$e that any form of therap% could o$erwork for schi2ophrenics." And I said "Good. Eou gu%s are reall% in the right professionC we should all be ps%chiatrists and belie$e that %ou can.t help people." And the% said "Gell, let.s talk about ps%chotics. !eople who li$e in ps%chotic realities and blah blah blah," and all this stuff about relapses. I said "Gell, what kinds of things do %ou do with these peopleI" (o the% told me about their research and the kind of therap% the% had done. )he% ne$er did an%thing that elicited a response from these people. @< 1rank 1arrell% had a %oung woman in a mental hospital who belie$ed that she was &esus. lo$er. Eou must admit that is a slightl% unusual belief. !eople would come in and she would go "I.m &esus. lo$er." And of course the% would go "Dnnhhh/" and sa% "Gell, %ou.re not. )his is onl% a delusion %ou.re ha$ing ... isn!t itC? If %ou go into mental hospitals, most mental patients are #ery good at acting weird and eliciting responses from people. 1rank trained a %oung social worker to beha$e consistentl% in a certain wa% and sent her in. )he patient went "Gell, I.m &esus. lo$er," and the social worker looked back and said wr%l% "I know, he talks about %ou." 1ort%0fi$e minutes later the patient is going " ook, I don.t want to hear an% more of this &esus stuff/" )here.s a man named &ohn 3osen whom some of %ou ha$e heard of. 3osen has two things he does consistentl%, and he does them $er% powerfull% and gets a lot of good results. 'ne of the things 3osen does reall% well, as described b% (chefflin, is that he #oins the schi2ophrenic.s realit% so well that he ruins it. )hat.s the same thing that 1rank taught his social worker to do. )he ps%chiatrists in )eFas had ne$er tried an%thing like that before. And when I suggested it to them, the% all made faces because it was outside of their professional ethic. )he% had been

trained in a belief s%stem that said " imit %our beha$ior. Don.t #oin %our client.s worldC insist that the% come to %ours." It.s much harder for somebod% who.s cra2% to come to a professional model of the world, than it is for a professional communicator to go to theirs. At least it.s less apt to happen. 6an7 Eou gu%s are stereot%ping a lot of people here/ 'f course we are. Gords do thatC that.s what words are for. Gords generali2e eFperience. -ut %ou only need to be offended if they apply to you directly. 'ne of the main places that communicators get stuck is on a linguistic pattern that we call "modal operator." A client sa%s "I can.t talk about that again toda%. )hat.s not possible in this particular group. And I don.t think that %ou.re able to understand that, either." Ghen %ou listen to content, %ou get wiped out. Eou will probabl% sa% "Ghat happenedI" )he pattern is that a client sa%s "I can.t N" or "I shouldn.t N." If somebod% comes in and goes "I shouldn.t get angr%" what %ou do if %ou.re a gestalt therapist, is "(a% .I won.t.." 1rit2 !eris was German, @@ and perhaps those words make a difference in German. -ut the% don.t make an% difference in English. "Gon.t" and "shouldn.t" and "can.t" in English are all the same. It makes no difference whether %ou shouldn.t or %ou couldn.t or %ou wont, %ou still ha#en!t. It makes no difference whatsoe$er. (o the person sa%s "I wont get angr%." )hen if %ou ask "Gh% notI" the% are going to gi$e %ou reasons and that.s a great wa% to get stuck. If %ou ask them "Ghat would happen if %ou didI" or "Ghat stops %ouI" %ou.ll go somewhere else more useful. Ge published all this in The ;tructure of ,agic some %ears ago, and we ask a lot of people ",a$e %ou read ,agic JI" And the% go "Gell, laboriousl%, %es." And we ask "Did %ou learn what was in itI Did %ou learn +hapter 1ourI" )hat.s the onl% meaningful part of the book as far as I can tell. And the% sa% "'h, %es. I knew all that." And I sa% "'*, good. I.ll pla% %our client, and %ou respond to me with "uestions." I sa% "I cant get angr%." And the% sa% "Ah, well, what seems to be the problemI" instead of "Ghat pre$ents %ouI" or "Ghat would happen if %ou didI" -% not ha$ing the meta0model responses s%stematicall% wired in, people get stuck. 'ne of the things that we noticed about (al 6inuchin, Hirginia (atir, 6ilton Erickson and 1rit2 !eris is that the% intuiti$el% had man% of those twel$e "uestions in the meta0model wired in. Eou need to go through some kind of program to wire in %our choices so that %ou don.t ha$e to think about what to do. 'therwise, while %ou are thinking about what to do, %ou will be missing what.s going on. Ge.re talking right now about how %ou organi2e %our own consciousness to be effecti$e in a compleF task of communication. As far as the conscious understanding of the client goes, it.s reall% irrele$ant. If the client wants to know what.s going on, the easiest wa% to respond is "Do %ou ha$e a carI Do %ou e$er ha$e it repairedI Does the mechanic describe in detail what he is going to do before he does an%thingI" 'r ",a$e %ou e$er had surger%I Did the surgeon describe in detail which muscles were going to be cut, and how he was going to clamp the arteriesI" I think those are analogies which are pertinent to respond to that kind of in"uir%. )he people who can gi$e %ou the most detailed and refined diagnosis of their own problems are the people I.$e met on the back wards of man% of the mental institutions in this countr% and in Europe. )he% can tell %ou wh% the% are the wa% the% are, where it came from, and how the% perpetuate the maladapti$e or destructi$e pattern. ,owe$er, that

eFplicit conscious $erbal understanding does them no good whatsoe$er in changing their beha$ior and their eFperience. 5ow what we would like to do is to make a suggestion. And of course we are onl% h%pnotists, so this is onl% a suggestion. And what we.d like to do is to suggest to the unconscious portion of

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each of both of %ou, whose communication we ha$e been delighted to recei$e the entire da% toda%, that since it has represented for %ou at the unconscious le$el all the eFperiences which ha$e occurred, both consciousl% and otherwise, that it make use of the natural process of dreaming and sleep, which will occur tonight as a natural course in %our life, as an opportunit% to sort through the eFperiences of toda%. And represent e$en more usefull% than up to this point the material which %ou ha$e learned here toda% without full% reali2ing it, so that in the da%s and the weeks and the months ahead %ou will be able to disco$er to %our delight that %ou are doing new things. Eou had learned new things without e$en knowing it, and %ou will be delightfull% surprised to find them in %our beha$ior. (o if %ou should happen to remember, or not, %our dreams, which we hope will be bi2arre this e$ening, allowing %ou to rest peacefull%, so that %ou can arise and meet us again here alert and refreshed, read% to learn new and eFciting things. (ee %ou tomorrow.

II
&hanging Personal =istory and %rgani4ation
Eesterda% we described a number of wa%s that %ou can get rapport with another person and #oin their model of the world, as a prelude to helping them find new choices in beha$ior. )hose are all eFamples of what we call pacing or mirroring. )o the eFtent that %ou can match another person.s beha$ior, both $erball% and non0$erball%, %ou will be pacing their eFperience. 6irroring is the essence of what most people call rapport, and there are as man% dimensions to it as %our sensor% eFperience can discriminate. Eou can mirror the other person.s predicates and s%ntaF, bod% posture, breathing, $oice tone and tempo, facial eFpression, e%e blinks, etc. )here are two kinds of non0$erbal pacing. 'ne is direct mirroring. An eFample is when I breathe at the same rate and depth that %ou breathe. E$en though %ou.re not conscious of that, it will ha$e a profound impact upon %ou. Another wa% to do non0$erbal pacing is to substitute one non0$erbal channel for another. Ge call that "cross0o$er mirroring." )here are two kinds of cross0o$er mirroring. 'ne is to cross o$er in the same channel. I can use m% hand mo$ement to pace %our breathing mo$ementthe rise and fall of %our chest. E$en though the mo$ement of m% hand is $er% subtle, it still has the same effect. It.s not as dramatic as direct mirroring, but it.s $er% powerful. )hat is using a different aspect of the same channel7 kinesthetic mo$ement. In the other kind of cross0o$er mirroring, %ou switch channels. 1or eFample, as I speak to %ou ... I watch ... %our breathing ... and I @9 gauge the ... tempo... of m% $oice... to the rise... and the fall... of %our chest. )hat.s a different kind of cross0o$er. I match the tempo of m% speech to the rate of %our breathing. 'nce %ou ha$e paced well, %ou can lead the other person into new beha$ior b% changing what %ou are doing. )he o$erlap pattern we mentioned %esterda% is an eFample of that. Eou #oin the client in their representation of the world and then o$erlap into a different representation. Pacing and leading is a pattern that is e$ident in almost e$er%thing we do. If it is done gracefull% and smoothl% it will work with an%one, including catatonics. 'nce I was in Napa (tate 6ental ,ospital in +alifornia, and a gu% had been sitting there for se$eral %ears on the couch in the da% room. )he onl% communication he was offering me were his bod% position
=8

and his breathing rate. ,is e%es were open, pupils dilated. (o I sat facing awa% from him at about a fort%0fi$e degree angle in a chair nearb%, and I put m%self in eFactl% the same bod% position. I didn.t e$en bother to be smooth. I put m%self in the same bod% position, and I sat there for fort% minutes breathing with him. At the end of fort% minutes I had tried little $ariations in m% breathing, and he would follow, so I knew I had rapport at that point. I could ha$e changed m% breathing slowl% o$er a period of time and brought him out that wa%. Instead I interrupted it and shocked him. I shouted ",e%/ Do %ou ha$e a cigaretteI" ,e #umped up off the couch and said "God/ Don.t do that/" I ha$e a friend who is a college president. ,e is li$ing in a delusional realit% that he.s intelligent and that he has a lot of prestige and all those things. ,e walks around stiffl%, looks gruff and smokes a pipeC he does this whole number. It.s a completel% delusional realit%. )he last time I was in a mental hospital, there was a gu% there who thought he was a +IA agent, and that he was being held there b% the communists. )he onl% difference between them is that the rest of the people in the world are more apt to belie$e the college president than the ps%chotic. )he college president gets paid for his delusions. In order to pace either of them I.m going to accept their realit%. Gith the college president I.m going to sa% that ?;ince he.s so intelligent and prestigious he will be able to"and then I.ll sa% whate$er I want him to do. If I go to an academic conference and I.m there with all the people who li$e in the ps%chotic realit% of academia, I am going to pace that realit%. I.ll present a paper, because raw eFperience wouldn.t pace their realit%. If there was an% eFperience there, it would #ust go right b% them. =: Gith the ps%chotic who belie$es he.s a +IA agent ::: open the door, look back, slip in and close the door "uickl%, and whisper "At last we got through to %ou/ Ghew/ I almost got caught coming in here/ Now, "uick, I onl% ha$e a few minutes to gi$e %ou these instructions. Are %ou read%I Ge ha$e gotten %ou a co$er as a college professor, and we want %ou to appl% for this #ob and wait until %ou hear from us. Eou can do that because %ou.$e been trained to do it as an agent, rightI Do it well, so that %ou.re not disco$ered and sent back here. Got itI" Ghen %ou #oin someone else.s realit% b% pacing them, that gi$es %ou rapport and trust, and puts %ou in a position to utili2e their realit% in wa%s that change it. Non0$erbal mirroring is a powerful unconscious mechanism that e$er% human being uses to communicate effecti$el%. Eou can predict b% looking at people communicating with each other in a restaurant whether the% are communicating well or not b% obser$ing their postures and mo$ements. 6ost of the therapists I know who mirror do it compulsi$el%. Ge did a seminar in which there was a woman who was an eF"uisitel% good communicator who mirrored $er% compulsi$el%. As she was talking with me, I began sliding off m% chair, and she literall% fell on the floor. If %ou belie$e that %ou ha$e to ha$e empath%, that means that %ou ha$e to ha$e the same feelings that %our client does in order to function well as a therapist. (omeone comes in and sa%s "Gell, I ha$e this kind of phobic response e$er% time I walk down the street and begin to talk to somebod%C I feel like I.m going to throw up, %ou know. I #ust feel real nauseous and light0headed and I feel like I.m going to swa%... ,"If %ou ha#e to mirror, %ou.re going to get sick. ,ow man% of %ou ha$e e$er finished a da% of doing therap% or educational work and gone home and felt like %ou took some of the residue home with %ouI Eou know that eFperience. )he statistics show about eight %ears shorter life span for people in therap% than almost an% other profession. If %ou work with people who are diseased or d%ing, %ou don.t want to mirror that directl%, unless %ou want a $er% short career. !eople in therap% are alwa%s talking about pain, sadness, emptiness, suffering, and enduring the tribulations of human eFistence. If %ou ha$e to understand their eFperience b% eFperiencing it, then m% guess is %ou.re going to ha$e a reall% unpleasant time. )he important thing is to ha$e a choice between direct mirroring or cross0o$er

mirroring. Gith someone who breathes normall%, pace with %our own breathing. Gith some0 =; one who is asthmatic, pace with %our hand mo$ement or something else. Now let.s do something with this, and all the things we talked about %esterda%. Is there someone here who has a past eFperience that the% think about from time to time, and it makes them ha$e a feeling that the% don.t wantI ... '*. inda, this is secret therap%. Eour task is alwa%s to keep the content of what goes on from the people here. -ecause if %ou tell them the content, the% will become in$ol$ed. And if the% become in$ol$ed, it will be harder for them to learn. Ghene$er we ask a person to come and make a change here as a demonstration, we will insist that the% keep the content to themsel$es. Dsuall% we.ll sa% "I want %ou to pick a code word, a color, a number, a letter for what %ou want to change."(o the person will sa% "I want to be able to 6" or "I don.t want to ha$e to three." )hat has a couple of positi$e dimensions. If the outcome we.re after is to teach people how to do what we do, then we will demand that it be content0free pure process therap%. )hen the onl% things %ou ha$e a$ailable to pa% attention to are the pieces of the process. Eou cannot hallucinate effecti$el% on "number three"at least not as effecti$el% as %ou can on "asserti$eness" or "lo$e" or "trust" or an% of those other nominal0i2ations. In addition it has an eFtra ad$antage. If %ou are in an% conteFt in which people know each other, man% people are reluctant to work on material which the% think might change their relationship with the people who are there. -% doing secret therap% %ou a$oid that difficult% because nobod% knows what the% are working on. inda, what do %ou recall that gi$es %ou the unpleasant feelingI Is it a set of images or a $oiceI '*. (he alread% answered the "uestion non$erball%. If %ou were watching her e%es, %ou saw them mo$e up to her left and then down to her right. (o she makes an eidetic $isual image and then has a feeling about it. inda, when %ou see this image %ou ha$e certain feelings which are unpleasant to %ou. Now I.d like %ou to look at the image and find out if %ou still get the unpleasant feeling when %ou look at it now. And I.d like %ou to do a good #ob of that. Eou can close %our e%es and reall% take a good look at it. 4!ause. As she eFperiences the feelings, he touches her right shoulder.5 And as %ou can all see b% her responses, inda is telling the truth7 when she sees that picture she feels bad. (o there is some past eFperience that occurred, and things didn.t turn out "uite the =B wa% %ou would ha$e liked them to. )hat.s an understatement if IHe heard right. inda7 3ight. )hat.s eFactl% right. (o from time to time an image comes into %our mind, and when %ou think about it, %ou get the same kind of feelings that %ou had as a result of that eFperience. Now, I would like %ou to think what resource %ou would ha$e needed back then to ha$e made a different response to that situation, a response which would ha$e gi$en %ou a much more acceptable outcome if %ou had made it. Gait a minute, because I want to tell %ou what I mean b% "resource." -% resource I don.t mean some outside help or an%thing like that. Ghat I mean b% a resource is more confidence, more asserti$eness, more trust, more caringan% internal resource. At this point in time, some time has elapsedC I don.t know how much, but during that inter$al %ou ha$e gained resources as a human being that %ou didn.t ha$e access to then. I want %ou to select a resource that would ha$e enabled %ou to ha$e had a wholl% different eFperience back then. I don.t want %ou to tell me what it is. I #ust want %ou to think of what it would be. 4!ause. As she thinks of the resource, he touches her left shoulder.5 Did those of %ou watching notice some changesI et.s call the response she gets from the picture E, and the new resource that she needed back there we.ll call N. Now, let.s

demonstrate. Ghich of those two responses is thisI 4,e touches her right shoulder.5... Now, %ou should be able to see the color changes, lip si2e changes, breathing changes, actual trembling in her bod%, that we ha$e called E. Now which response is thisI 4,e touches her left shoulder.5... Now, when I sa% that she needs this resource N, I ha$e gi$en %ou as much information $erball% as %ou e$er get from %our clients when the% tell %ou what the% want. If a client sa%s "I want to be more asserti$eC I want to be more trustingC I want to be more caring, more respectful of other people," the% ha$e gi$en %ou eFactl% the same amount of information as sa%ing "I need N." In a wa% the% ha$e gi$en %ou less. -ecause if the% sa% "I want to be more asserti$e,"%ou.re going to ta3e your meaning of asserti$e and assign it to their beha$ior. If the% sa% "Gell, what I need is some N," %ou won.t run the risk of misunderstanding them. (ometimes I think it would be easier to do therap% in a foreign language that %ou didn.t speak. )hat wa% %ou would not ha$e the illusion that the words %ou heard had the same meaning for the person who utters them as the% ha$e for %ou. And belie$e me, that.s an illusion. Now wh% does response E occur when I touch her right shoulderI... => ,a$e %ou noticed that that occursI ,as an%one in here noticed thatI Ghat.s going on hereI It.s reall% spooko time/ inda, do %ou belie$e in free willI inda7 Eeah. 4,e touches her right shoulder.5 Now who tightened the muscles around %our mouthI Whose free will do %ou belie$e inI 1ree will is a funn% phrase. It.s also a nominali2ation. Ghen %ou came up here in response to m% re"uest, %ou made a statement about %our own free will. I said "I want somebod% up here who makes pictures that the% don.t want to make." )hat is a statement that someone is making those pictures and it isn.t %ou. It.s %our unconscious or %our "mother," one or the other. Now, what.s going onI Did an%bod% make sense out of thatI Goman7 Ghen %ou were asking her to go deep inside of her and see that image, %ou put %our hand on her right shoulder as she was feeling the bad feelings, so she had an association with the touch. Do %ou mean to tell me that now e$er% time I touch her on the shoulder like that, shell ha$e that responseI 4,e touches her right shoulder again, and response E occurs.5 6an7 It sure looks that wa%. I agree with %ou. ,ow could something that powerful be o$erlooked b% modern ps%cholog%I ,ere %ou are, adult human beings. 6ost of %ou ha$e been to college, and most of %ou are professional communicators. Eou.$e learned about human beings and how human beings work. ,ow do %ou make sense out of thisI .., Does the name !a$lo$ ring a bellI )his is straight stimulus0response conditioning. inda had a certain eFperience which was her response to an accessing "uestion that I asked her namel% about this eFperience that she wants to change. As she full% reco$ered that eFperienceand I knew when she had full% reco$ered it b% obser$ing her responsesall I had to do was touch her. )hat touch is now associated with the entire eFperience that she recalled. It.s the same process as the thing that she wants to change. ,ow is it that when she makes that picture she has a set of feelings automaticall%I (he sees a picture, bam/she has the unpleasant feeling. It.s the same process. Ghen a person is in a certain state of consciousness such as the eFperience E for inda, %ou can introduce a new dimension in an% sensor% s%stem, such as a touch. Ge call this an "anchor," in this case, a kinesthetic anchor. As long as I repeat that touch with the same pressure at the same point on inda.s bod%, and she has no stronger =A competing states of consciousness when I begin, it will alwa%s re0access that eFperience. It.s

straight conditioning. It constitutes, in m% opinion, one of the most powerful co$ert tools that %ou can use as a therapist or as a communicator. It will get %ou almost e$er%thing. About ninet% percent of what goes on in therap% is changing the kinesthetic responses that people ha$e to auditor% and $isual stimuli. "6% husband makes me feel bad." "6% wife alwa%s makes me angr%." Now let.s demonstrate oneand this is onl% one wa%to use it. Ghat I.d like %ou to do, inda, is to go back to this eFperience. +lose %our e%es, and go back to that eFperience. )his time I want %ou to take this resource with %ou 4,e touches her left shoulder.5 and I want %ou to see %ourself respond in a whole new wa%. Go all the wa% through it until %ou.re satisfied. Ghat she.s doing now is reli$ing it with the new resource a$ailable which wasn.t a$ailable the first time this happeneduntil she is satisfied with her response in that situation. Ge call this process "changing personal histor%." Eou go back into %our personal histor% with resources %ou did not ha$e then, taking them with %ou this time. Ge don.t know what the content of this is, and there.s no need for us to. (he is reli$ing the eFperience now. After this she will ha$e two histories, the "real" one in which she didn.t ha$e the resource, and the new one in which she did ha$e the resource. As long as these are full eFperiencesand we.re guaranteeing that b% anchoringboth will ser$e e"uall% well as guides for future beha$ior. inda7 4(he opens her e%es and smiles broadl%.5 I lo$e it/ '*, now, inda, I would like %ou to go back and make the old picture again, the one that made %ou feel bad, and tell me what happens. 'bser$ers, what do %ou see, N or EI And this is where the sensor% eFperience reall% counts. Eou can do the therap% but knowing whether or not it worked is the most essential piece. 6an7 I see a miFture of N and E. Ghat happens in %our eFperience, indaI Ghen %ou see that picture, do %ou feel the same wa% %ou did beforeI inda7 No, I do not. Don.t re$eal an% contentC #ust tell us how it.s different. inda7 Dh, m% fear is gone. Now, there.s another wa% to check %our work. Anchoring can be used in a number of wa%s. Now, watch this. 4,e touches her right shoulder.5 Is that the same response that touch elicited beforeI Goman7 !artiall%. =< !artiall%. Now, if it were to be entirel% re$ersed, I would consider that doing the client a disser$ice. If %ou are in the business of choice, %ou are in the business of adding choicesnot subtracting them, and not substituting one rigid stimulus0response circuit for another. If %ou ha$e a client who feels helpless and small each time he goes to work, and %ou change that so each time he goes to work he feels asserti$e, happ%, and confident, he is no better off, in m% opinion. ,e still has onl% one choice about how to respond. And if %ou ha$e one choice, %ou.re a robot. Ge think therap% is the business of turning robots into people. )hat.s not an eas% task. Ge all get roboti2ed. !art of %our #ob is to change that situation unconsciousl%, so that people actuall% eFercise choice in their beha$ior, whether it.s conscious or not. Ghat is choiceI +hoice, to me, is ha$ing multiple responses to the same stimulus. Do %ou reali2e that each time %ou read a book there are probabl% no new words in that bookI It.s the same old words in a new orderI &ust new se"uences of the same wordsI No matter where %ou go, %ou.re going to hear the same old words, or #ust new se"uences of the same old words. And each time I read a fiction book, it.s the same thing. !racticall% e$er% word we.$e used toda% has been an old word. ,ow can %ou learn an%thing newI Now, we need to do one more thing that.s $er% important. inda has the choice sitting here in this room. Eou.$e all seen that. Ge want her to also ha$e this choice in other conteFts. All of

%ou ha$e had the following eFperience. Eou work with a client and %ou and the client both know that the% ha$e new choices. )he% lea$e the office and %ou.re happ% and the%.re happ% and congruent, and two weeks later when the% come back the% go "Gell, it didn.t "uite ... I don.t know what happened. I knew it... and I uh..." 'r worse %et the% come back and present %ou with the eFact same problem, with $er% little memor% that %ou e$en worked on it two weeks ago/ inda was in an altered state up here. (he radicall% altered her consciousness to go after old eFperiences, to integrate them with new kinds of resources. )he point isand this was a primar% insight of famil% therap% twent% %ears agoif %ou simpl% induce changes in an altered state of consciousness known as an institution, or a therapist.s office, or a group setting, it.s $er% unlikel% that most of %our work will transfer the first time. Eou.ll ha$e to do it se$eral times. Eou ha$e to be sure that the new understandings and learnings, the new beha$ior, the new choices, transfer out of that altered state of consciousness into the appropriate conteFt in the real world. =@ )here.s a $er% eas% process that we call "bridging" or "future0pacing" that connects the new response with the appropriate conteFt. It.s another use of anchoring. Eou know what the new response is, and %ou know that the person wants it to occur in some conteFt, so %ou simpl% ask them the following "uestion7 "Ghat is the first thing that %ou would see, hear, or feel, that would allow %ou to know %ou are in the conteFt where %ou want to make this new choiceI" inda, there are other situations in %our present life that are similar to the one that %ou saw in those pictures, rightIsituations in which %ou respond the same wa% %ou responded to that picture, instead of the wa% %ou would like to respond. Now, what I need to know is what allows %ou to know that a conteFt is similar to that one. Is it something about what %ou seeI Is it the tone of someone.s $oice, the wa% someone sounds, the wa% someone is touching %ouI ... inda7 It.s the wa% someone looks. '*, I want %ou to see what that looks like. And as %ou see that, each time %ou see an%thing similar, %ou will feel this. 4,e touches the resource anchor.5 I want %ou to remember that %ou ha$e this particular resource.... )hat.s bridging. It takes a minute and a half or two minutes, and it guarantees that %our work will transfer out into the real world. )he same stimulus that in the past elicited the maladapti$e stereot%ped beha$ior, the feeling that she wants to change, now ser$es as a stimulus for which the resource is a response. Now she will automaticall% ha$e access to the new choice in the conteFts where she needs itnot #ust in the office, the group, the institution. )his is stimulus0stimulus conditioning. Eou.re not going to be there to s"uee2e her shoulder, so %ou need to make some part of the actual conteFt the trigger for her new beha$ior. )he best thing to use as the trigger is whate$er was the trigger for the unwanted beha$ior. If her boss. tone of $oice makes her feel helpless, then make that tone of $oice the trigger to access the resources of creati$it%, confidence, or whate$er. 'therwise, if the old anchors that eFist are stronger than the new ones that %ou.$e created, the old ones will o$erride the new ones. )hat is what prompted the de$elopment of famil% therap%. )he% take a schi2ophrenic kid and the% put him in a hospital and the% gi$e him 6P6.s in the right order and the kid gets better and he.s well and normal, happ%, learning. )hen the% put him back in the famil% and he.s schi2ophrenic again in a matter of weeks. And so the% said "Ah/ == (omething in the famil% keeps the kid the same, so therefore we will treat the whole famil%." Eou dont ha#e to treat the whole famil%. )hat.s one wa% to do it7 it.s a choice. If %ou bring the famil% in, the anchors are there, and %ou can use them. In fact, ::: demonstrate. Eou can sit down now, inda. )hank %ou.

I.d like two people to come up here and role0pla% a husband and wife....

)hank %ou. arr% and (usie. Now as a wife, would %ou gi$e me some complaints. Ghat does he do or not doI (usie7 ,e drinks too much beer. ,ell ne$er watch football with me. ,ell ne$er watch football with %ouI And how does that make %ou feelI (usie7 6ad. Deserted. Deserted, so what %ou want is some attention from him. (usie7 3ight. And when %ou tr% to get attention from him, whatlook at that, he went right up into a $isual access. -oom/ )hat.s what t%picall% happens. )he wife sa%s "I feel I want him to touch me," and the husband goes 4looking up5 "Gell, I don.t see how that.s useful." 3ightI And then he comes into the house and sa%s " ook, this place is a mess. I can.t stand to see a cluttered house." And she sa%s "-ut it feels co2% this wa%." Now what I.m going to do here is use anchoring. I sa% "Gell, I find that hard to belie$e, but let me check it out." (o I come o$er here and ask the husband a few rhetorical "uestions, simpl% for the purpose of eliciting responses. I sa% " arr%, let me ask %ou a "uestion. Are there some times when %ou feel like %ou reall% want to be close to her, gi$e her some attention and some good feelings and reall% get close to herI Are there times like thatI" arr%7 (ure, there are times. 4,e touches arr%.s wrist.5 "Now, I know, based on m% past eFperience as a therapist, that couples usuall% get in trouble with words, because people are not $er% good with words. )he% don.t train adults to use wordsC the% don.t e$en train children. (o what I.m going to recommend to %ou, (usie, is that %ou tr% the following7 I.m going to gi$e %ou a non0$erbal signal to tr% with arr% for the neFt two weeks #ust as a wa% to find out whether or not he reall% is open to pa%ing attention to %ou. Ghat I would like %ou to do is this7 An% time %ou want fi$e or ten minutes of his undi$ided attention and some affection, walk up to him and hold him on the wrist

=9 like this. '*, and would %ou do that right nowI I want to check and make sure %ou know what I mean." "Now, (usie, when %ou do this, look at him and he will nod or shake his head depending upon whether or not he feels this is an appropriate time to spend some time with %ou. )his wa% he gets a message from %ou which is unambiguous, because if %ou come up to him and sa% 4harsh $oice, punching his arm5 .Gant to watch footballI. he might misinterpret that." I can send this couple off and let them tr% it. Ill tell her "Now, %ou.re onl% to use this twice a da%." 'f course she.ll be curious and she will tr% it. And what.s underneath the "non0$erbal signalI" An anchor. (o what will happenI Gill he nod "%es" or shake his head "no"I Now, the first few times when she does this, shell complete the whole pattern. -ut prett% soon it will streamline. (he.ll walk in and #ust start to reach for him and that will be enough. !rett% soon she.ll be able to walk in and #ust look at him and that will elicit the same response. +ouples get into trouble because the% don.t know how to elicit responses from one another. )he response the% intend to get is completel% different from the one the% actually get. 1or instance, sa% I ha$e a gu% here who reall% wants her to come and comfort him sometimes. (o he sits on the end of the bed and stares at the floor. (he, of course, assumes that this means that he wants space for himself, so what does she doI (he lea$es the room. )he% end up in therap% se#enteen years later and he sa%s to me "(he doesn.t support me when I need support." And she sa%s "J do, too J" ,e sa%s "Eou.$e ne$er done it in se$enteen %ears when I reall% needed it." I sa% ",ow do %ou let her know %ou need itI" ,e sa%s "Gell, when I sit on the end of the bed, I show her." And she sa%s ?=uhB 'h, I though %ou wanted to be alone." )hat.s wh% we sa% ")he response that %ou get is the meaning of %our communication." )his is a wa% that

%ou can get the responses that people want connected with their own beha$ior. Now when (usie here wants affection, she has a direct wa% of eliciting that part of him. After %ou gi$e a couple a few anchors, the% begin to do it on their own without e$er knowing what happened. )he% suddenl% start getting what the% want "m%steriousl%." )hat.s one wa% of using anchoring with couples. 6ost couples ha$e simpl% habituated to each other.s beha$ior, and the% cease to do an%thing new with each other. It.s not that the% are not capable of it, it.s that the% are so anchored into rigid patterns of interacting that the% don.t do an%thing new. Her% rarel% do I find an% 98 serious d%sfunction between couples other than ha$ing habituated into rigid patterns. Ghene$er there are rigid and repetiti$e patterns or responses that %ou want to interrupt, %ou can begin b% anchoring something unpleasant or attention0getting, and fire that anchor whene$er the pattern or response occurs. Gith a couple I saw once, his whole eFperience in life was making constructed images of possibilities, and her function in life was responding to an%thing he said b% making an eidetic image of something that was similar and talking about how it didn.t work. (o he would go "I want to make a sk%light in the bedroom" and she would sa% "Ge were o$er at so and so.s house and their sk%light leaked..)he% ne$er had an% other kind of communication. )here was nothing else/ I did therap% with these two in m% li$ing room. Ghen I came in, I sat down and said "Eou know, I.m kind of a cit% kid and li$ing out herein the countr% I.$e had some real surprises. Did %ou know that a rattlesnake came right through m% li$ing room, right here, %esterda%I 3ight across the floor. It was the damndest thing." As I said that, I looked down at the floor #ust behind their chairs and slowl% followed an imaginar% snake with m% e%es as it went across the floor. )hen the couple began to speak. Ghene$er the% would start to argue, I would look down at the floor again and the% would stop. I began to anchor their terror of snakes to ha$ing that con$ersation. After about an hour of doing that, the% didn.t ha$e that con$ersation an% more. It was too unpleasant, because after a while their feelings about snakes became associated with arguing. If %ou.re going to talk to somebod% and %ou know that there.s e$en a possibilit% that %ou might need to interrupt them, %ou can set them up like that before %ou begin the session, Eou can interrupt beha$iorall% like that, or %ou can interrupt with words "'h wait a second/ Ghat" 'r %ou can look at their ankle and sa% "Are %ou allergic to bee stingsI" )hat :: get their attention. "(top/ I #ust thought of something I ha$e to remember to write down." Anchoring is an ama2ing thing. Eou can anchor air and people will respond to it. An% good mime anchors air b% his mo$ements, defining ob#ects and concepts in empt% space. 3ecentl% I was teaching a sales course and somebod% said "Eou alwa%s tell us to be fleFible. Ghat happens if %ou tr% a whole bunch of stuff, and someone responds to %ou reall% negati$el%I" I said "Gell the first thing to do is mo$e, and then point to where %ou were, and talk about how terrible that is," 9: )hat.s called dissociation. Eou can go in and tr% the "hard sell." Ghen %ou see that the% are responding negati$el%, %ou can step aside and sa% "Now, that kind of talk puts people off," and tr% something else. )hose of %ou who are interested in reall% becoming more generati$e, when %ou get tired of touching people.s knees and forearms, understand that anchoring is one of the most uni$ersal and generali20able of all the things that we ha$e e$er done. 'nce I was lecturing to two hundred and fift% fairl% austere ps%chologists, being

academic, talking about representational s%stems and books, and drawing e"uations. In the middle of m% academic lecture I #ust walked up to the edge of the stage, looked up for a moment, and said ")hat.s weird" and then continued. A little later I looked up and did it again7 "Gell, that.s reall% weird." I did that a couple more times during m% talk, and most of the people in the first four or fi$e rows became fiFated, staring at this spot on the ceiling. )hen I mo$ed o$er to the side, and talked right through to them. I could get arm le$itation and other unconscious responses. If people would notice that what the% are doing is not working and do something new, then being in a couple would be a reall% interesting eFperience. Actuall% the% need to do something e$en before that. )he% need to reali2e what outcome the% want, and then notice whether or not the% are getting it. 'ne thing that we ha$e done with couples is to take awa% their abilit% to talk to each other. "Eou cant talk to each other an% more until I tell %ou to. If I catch %ou talking to each other, I.ll gi$e %ou warts.")he% ha$e to generate new beha$ior, and the% begin to become interesting to each other, if nothing else. E$en if the% keep the same patterns of beha$ior, at least the% generate some new content. )he% ha$e to learn new wa%s to elicit the responses that the% want. ,e wants her to iron a shirt for him, so he comes in and walks up to her and gestures with his hands. (o she goes out and gets a piece of bread and butters it for him and brings it back in, rightI Now, in the past, when he.d sa% "Gill %ou iron m% shirtI" and she did something else, he would critici2e her. "Eou ne$er do what I want," and so on. Now when he gets the piece of bread, he can.t critici2e because he can.t talk. In order for him to get what he wants, he.s got to change his own beha$ior. (o he tries again. ,e hands her the shirt... and she puts it on. ,e.s got to keep coming up with new beha$iors until he finds one that works. )hen I can use that as an eFample. I can sa% " ook, e$en if %ou do it with words, if what %ou do doesn.t work, tr% altering your own beha$ior. 9; As the% learn to $ar% their beha$ior, the% will be establishing new anchors. 'nl% about half of them will be useful, but that still gi$es them a lot of new possibilities in their relationship. )he nice thing about famil% therap% is that people bring their anchors with them. If %ou ha$e a child who is responding in a troublesome wa%, %ou can obser$e what he is responding to, because all the primar% h%pnotic relationships are there. Ghen children ha$e s%mptomatic beha$ior, their s%mptomatic beha$ior is alwa%s a response to something. An%one.s s%mptomatic beha$ior is a response to something, and the "uestion is, whatB If %ou can change what the% are responding to, it.s often much easier than changing their beha$ior. Eou don.t alwa%s ha$e to know what it is, but it.s often $er% eas% to tell. Eou ha$e a "h%peracti$e" kid with his parents and for the first fi$e minutes of the session he.s not h%peracti$e. )hen the father looks at the mother and sa%s "Ghat are %ou going to do about this kidI" Ghen the kid immediatel% starts #umping around, it gi$es %ou a mild indication of what he.s responding to. -ut %ou won.t notice that if %ou.re inside making pictures and talking to %ourself about which drugs %ou are going to gi$e him. 6an7 Ghat if %ou ha$e a suicidal kidI ,ow do %ou look for the stimulus for thatI Alwa%s depressed, alwa%s sitting there Gell, ninet%0nine times out of a hundred, depression will fall into the pattern we alread% talked about. I wouldn.t tr% famil% therap%, not until I.d taken care of the suicide part of it. I would tr% a "uestion like "Ghat resource would %ou need as a human being to know that %ou could go on li$ing and ha$e lots of happinessI" and then do what we did with inda, the "change histor%" pattern. 'ur presupposition is that an% human being who comes and sa%s ",elp/ I need help" has alread% tried with all their conscious resources, and failed utterl%. ,owe$er, we also presuppose that somewhere in their personal histor% the% ha$e had some set of eFperiences which can ser$e as a resource for helping them get eFactl% what the% want in this particular situation. Ge belie$e

that people ha$e the resources that the% need, but the% ha$e them unconsciousl%, and the% are not organi2ed in the appropriate conteFt. It.s not that a gu% can!t be confident and asserti$e at work, it.s that he isn!t. ,e ma% be perfectl% confident and asserti$e on the golf course. All we need to do is to take that resource and put it where he needs it. ,e has the resource that he needs to be confident and asserti$e in his business on the golf course, but he has ne$er made that transfer, that connection. )hose are dis0 9B sociated parts of himself. Anchoring, and the integration that occurs with anchoring, will gi$e %ou a tool to collapse dissociations, so that the person has access to the resource in the conteFt that the% need it. 6an7 Are there situations where that.s not true and the therapist needs to gi$e the person a No, I don.t know of an%. I.d like to mention something that is rele$ant for %our own learning. )here.s a phenomenon in the field of ps%chotherap% which does not seem to occur in some of the other fields that I ha$e worked in. Ghen I teach somebod% how to do something and demonstrate that it works, the% usuall% ask me where it won!t work or what %ou do about something else. (o when I demonstrate how %ou can work with people who are bothered b% images from their past, %ou ask "Ghen won.t it workI" Now, the interesting thing about that pattern of beha$ior is that if what I.$e demonstrated is something that %ou.d like to be able to do, %ou might as well spend %our time learning it. )here are lots and lots of things that we cannot do. If %ou can program %ourself to look for things that will be useful for %ou and learn those, instead of tr%ing to find out where what we are presenting to %ou falls apart, %ou.ll find out where it falls apart, I guarantee %ou. If %ou use it congruentl% %ou will find lots of places that it won.t work. And when it doesn.t work, I suggest %ou do something else. Now to answer %our "uestion. )he limiting case is a person who has had $er%, $er% little real world eFperience. Ge had a client who had been locked up for twel$e %ears in his parents. house and had onl% left the house to see a ps%chiatrist three times a week, and had been on tran"uili2ers from age twel$e to twent%0two. ,e didn.t ha$e much personal histor%. ,owe$er, he had twel$e %ears of tele$ision eFperience, and that constituted enough of a resource that we were able to begin to generate what he needed. et me reinterpret the "uestion. If %ou ask a client ",ow would %ou like to beI" and the% congruentl% sa% "I don.t know what I want. I reall% don.t. I don.t know what resource I would ha$e needed back then," what do %ou doI Eou can ask them to guess. 'r %ou can sa% "Gell, if %ou knew, what would it beI" "Gell, if %ou don.t know, lie to me. 6ake it up." "Do %ou know an%one who knows how to do thisI" ",ow would %ou feel if %ou did knowI Ghat would %ou look likeI Ghat would %our $oice sound likeI" As soon as %ou get a response, %ou can anchor it. Eou can literall% construct personal resources. 9> 1or most of the people who come to %ou, and for all of %ou sitting here, %our personal histor% is a set of limitations on %our eFperience and beha$ior in the present. Anchoring, and the construction of new possibilities using anchoring, can literall% con$ert %our personal histor% from a set of limitations to a set of resources. Another wa% to answer the "uestion is that if a person hasnt had the direct eFperience the% need as a resource, the% ha$e some representation of what it could be, e$en though it ma% be other people.s beha$ior. )hat is, there is a representation within them which the% label "other people.s beha$ior" that the% don.t allow themsel$es to ha$e. ,owe$er, it is a representation that.s in them. If %ou can access it full%, %ou can anchor it. Eou can do it directl% or co$ertl%. "Gell, I can.t see the images that %ou are looking at right now, %our representation of this friend of %ours

who knows how to do this, so would %ou pretend to be that friend to gi$e me an idea of what we are working towardI" "Displa% that beha$ior for me so that I can get an idea about how &oe would act." "(how me how %ou wouldn !t act.")hen anchor it as the% do it. )hat.s now a piece of beha$ior that is as real as an% other beha$ior. 'r %ou can make them do it. Ghen people tell %ou "Gell, gee, I could ne$er be like that," it.s not necessaril% true. Ge had a woman that came in and told us that it was impossible for her to sa% what she wanted and to assert herself. (he couldn.t get people.s attention. And she was an asserti$eness trainer, too, which is interesting. (he couldn.t go to a regular therapist because it would ruin her reputation. (o we told her to wait a second, we were going to go discuss it, and we went out in the li$ing room and read maga2ines for about two and a half hours until she came fl%ing angril% out of the office "If %ou don.t get back in here, blah blah blah." If %ou are fleFible enough in %our beha$ior, %ou can elicit what %ou want right there on the spot. Ge made the assumption, the presupposition, that this woman knew how to get somebod%.s attention if a proper conteFt were supplied. Ge supplied the proper conteFtC she made the mo$e. Ge #ust anchored it, and then transferred it to other conteFts where she wanted it. )here.s a huge ad$antage to doing it this wa%. Ge don.t ha$e to decide before we start working with somebod% how man% parts the% ha$e and what the parts do. I think the 6ichigan )A model is up to nine specific parts7 critical parent, natural child, adult, little professor, etc. At theoretical con$entions the% argue about how man% parts a person should ha$e, )hat.s how the )A trainers and therapists in0

struct themsel$es about how to organi2e another person.s eFperience. None of m% clients ha$e a "parent," "child" and "adult," e+cept the ones that come from a )A therapist. And then the% actuall% ha$e them. Gith anchoring, %ou don.t ha$e to decide before %ou begin the session what the legitimate categories of human eFperience or communication are going to be. Eou can simpl% accept whate$er comes up without understanding the meaning of an% of it. I don.t know what N and E were for inda, but I know that I can operate at the process le$el, without e$er knowing the content, and assist her in changing. Eou don.t ha$e to decide beforehand how man% parts %ou are going to allow that person to ha$e. Eou don.t ha$e to demand that %our clients be fleFible enough to reorgani2e their eFperience into your categories. Eou simpl% accept whate$er is offered, anchor it, and utili2e it. Goman7 Do %ou alwa%s anchor the negati$e feelingI -ecause that.s alread% in her repertoire. Ge don.t always do anything. It.s often useful to anchor the response a person doesn.t want, and there are se$eral wa%s to use it. Eou.$e all had the eFperience of beginning to work with a client on a particular problemespeciall% children, because children are so fluid in their consciousnessand suddenl% %ou disco$er %ou are doing something else. )he initial anchor that I established stabili2ed the thing we were going to work on, so we can alwa%s go back to it. If I had wanted to go back and find out where it came from in inda.s personal histor%, that anchor would ha$e gi$en me an eFcellent wa% to do it. In gestalt therap% if a client is troubled b% a feeling, the therapist will sa% "Intensif% the feeling, sta% with the feeling, eFaggerate it/ Go back through time... and what do %ou see nowI" )he therapist is stabili2ing one part of the person.s eFperience, namel% the kinesthetic component, the feelings that person has. And the% are sa%ing "*eep those constant, and then let them lead %ou back in %our own personal histor% to a full, all0s%stem representation of what we are working on." -% using an anchor %ou can alwa%s get back to the same set of kinesthetic responses that %ou began with, and thereb% easil% stabili2e what %ou are working on. )hat.s one use. Another use that I demonstrated is testing. After we had done the integration work, after she had the resource and reli$ed the eFperience with the resource so that she changed her personal

95

histor%, I ga$e her a few moments, and then I reached o$er and triggered the original anchor. )he response I got was an integrated response, thereb% 9< informing me non0$erball% that the process had worked. I recommend that %ou ne$er let the client know %ou are checking %our work that wa%. It gi$es %ou a co$ert, non0$erbal wa% of checking to make sure that %our integrations ha$e worked before the person lea$es %our office. Gi$en our historical de$elopment in humanistic ps%cholog%, most of %ou want $erbal, eFplicit, conscious kinds of feedback. )hat is the least useful kind of feedback %ou can get from %our client. Now I.d like %ou to reali2e that there is nothing that %our client will do that %ou won.t anchor. As long as %ou are going to anchor it, %ou might as well know what the anchor is. If the client comes in and sa%s "I.m reall% depressed" and %ou #ust go "umhm," that.s as ade"uate an anchor as touching them on the arm. And since %ou will be doing that, %ou might as well know which anchor is which. Ge recommend to people in the beginning that the% practice using kinesthetic anchors for a period of a month. As the% do that, the% will disco$er that the% are anchoring an%wa%, constantl%, in all representational s%stems. 6ost of the time people use anchors in a wa% that slows down the process of change, because the% dont know what the% are anchoring or how the% are anchoring. )here is another important point. Ghen %ou sa% "Do %ou alwa%s anchor the negati#e thingI" there was nothing "negati$e" about it. "Negati$e" is a #udgement about eFperience. It is not eFperience itselfC it.s a #udgement specificall% made b% the.person.s conscious mind. )he eFperience that inda had which was unpleasant now ser$es for her, as well as for e$er%one else in this room, as a foundation for %our learning in the future if %ou use it that wa%. If %ou grew up for the first twent% %ears of %our life without a single unpleasant eFperience, %ou would be dull and unable to cope with an%thing. It.s important that %ou understand that all eFperiences can ser$e as a foundation for learning, and it.s not that the% are positi$e or negati$e, wanted or unwanted, good or bad. As a matter of fact, it.s not e$en that the% are. !ick an% eFperience that %ou belie$e happened to %ou, and I will guarantee %ou that on close eFamination it didn.t. )he original personal histor% that inda reli$ed, re0eFperienced toda% as she went through the eFperience, is as much a m%th as the new eFperience she went through with the resource. )he one we made up is as real as the one she "actuall% had." Neither one of them actuall% occurred. If %ou want a demonstration of this, wait two or three months, remember about ha$ing been here for three da%s and then look at that $ideotape that the% are making now. Eou will 9@ disco$er there is $er% little relationship between it and %our memories of "what happened here." (ince %our personal histor% is a m%th an%wa%, use it as a resource instead of a set of limitations. 'ne wa% to do that is with anchoring. )hose of %ou who ha$e done )A "redecision" work as a client7 remember all those $i$id scenes and eFperiences that %ou so well recollected from when %ou were two %ears and eight months oldI Goman7 Gell, mine reall% happened. 5othing e$er really happened. )he onl% thing that happened is that %ou made a set of perceptions about e$ents. )he relationship between %our eFperience and what actually occurred is tenuous at best. -ut the% reall% are %our perceptions. Doing a redecision about an eFperience that ne$er occurred is #ust as $aluable asperhaps more $aluable thandoing a redecision about one that did occur, especiall% if it.s less painful, and especiall% if it opens more choices. I could $er% easil% install memories in %ou that related to real world eFperiences that ne#er occurred and could not be documented in an% wa%that were #ust bi2arre hallucinations out of m% fantas%. 6ade0up memories can change %ou #ust as well as the arbitrar% perceptions that %ou

made up at the time about "real world e$ents." )hat happens a lot in therap%. Eou can also con$ince %our parents. Eou can go back and check up with %our parents and con$ince them of things that ne$er actuall% occurred. I tried that, and it worked. 6% mother now belie$es she did things to me when I was a child that ne$er happened. And I 3now they ne$er happened. -ut I con$inced her of it. I told her I went to a therap% group and I made these changes which were reall% important to me, and it was all based on this eFperience when I was little. As I named the eFperience, she had to search through her histor% and find something that approFimated it. And of course we had enough eFperience together that she could find something that was close enough that it fit that categor%. It.s the same as if I sit here and sa% "3ight now, as %ou sit there, %ou ma% not be full% aware of it, but soon %ou will become aware of a sensation in one of %our hands." Now, if %ou dont, %ou are probabl% dead. Eou are bound to ha$e some sensation in one of %our hands, and since I called %our attention to it, %ou.ll ha$e to become aware of an% sensation. 6ost of the things that people do as therapies are so general that people can go through their histor% and find the appropriate eFperiences. Eou can do mar$elous "ps%chic" reading that wa%. Eou take an 9= ob#ect that belongs to someone and hold it in %our hand. )hat allows %ou to see them reall% well with %our peripheral $ision. Eou speak in the first person so that the% will identif% directl% and respond more, and sa% something like "Gell, I.m a person who... who is ha$ing some kind of trouble that has to do with an inheritance." And then %ou watch the person whose ob#ect it is and that person goes "An inheritance/" 3ightI And then he goes "Dmmmmmmmm" through all his memories, rightI And somewhere in his life there was something that had to do with some inheritance and he goes "Eou.re right/ Dncle George/ I remember now/" !eripheral $ision is the source of most of the $isual information I find useful. )he peripher% of %our e%e is ph%siologicall% built to detect mo$ement far better than the fo$eal portion of %our e%e. It.s #ust the wa% it.s constructed. 3ight now I.m looking in %our direction7 if there were a tra#ector%, m% e%es would be on %ou. )hat #ust happens to put e$er%one else in m% peripheral $ision, which is a situation that is effecti$e for me. As I.m talking, I.m watching the people in the room with m% peripheral $ision to detect large responses, sudden mo$e0 ments, changes in breathing, etc. 1or those of %ou who would like to learn to do this, there is a little eFercise that is "uite eas%. If I were helping &ane here to learn to ha$e confidence in her peripheral $ision, the first thing I would ha$e her do is to walk up to me and stand looking.awa% from me at about a fort%0fi$e degree angle. Now without changing the focus of %our e%es, &ane, either form a mental image of where %ou think m% hands are, or put %our hands in a position that closel% corresponds. Now look to $erif% whether %ou are correct or not. And now look back o$er there again, and do it again. 'nce she can do this at fort%0fi$e degrees, then ::: mo$e to ninet%. Eou are alread% getting all the information %ou need in %our peripheral $ision. -ut nobod% has e$er told %ou to trust that information and use it as a basis for %our responses. Essentiall% what %ou are doing with this eFercise is teaching %ourself to ha$e confidence in the #udgements that %ou.re probabl% already making b% getting information through %our peripheral $ision. )his eFercise is a stabili2ed situation. )hat.s the most difficult. 6o$ements are much easier to detect. If %ou can get position information, the mo$ement stuff will be eas%. )his is particularl% important in conference work, or in famil% therap%. I don.t pa% attention to the person who is acti$el% communicating $erball%C I.ll watch an%one else. An%one else will gi$e 99 me more information than that person, because I.m interested in what responses sJhe is eliciting

from other members of the famil% or the conference. )hat gi$es me lots of choices, for instance, about knowing when the% are about to be interrupted. I can either reinforce the interruption, make it m%self, or interrupt the interrupter to allow the person to finish. !eripheral $ision gi$es %ou much more information, and that.s a basis for choices. Eour personal histor% ser$es as a foundation for all %our capabilities and all %our limitations. (ince %ou onl% ha$e one personal histor%, %ou ha$e onl% one set of possibilities and one set of limitations. And we reall% belie$e that each of %ou deser$es more than one personal histor% to draw upon. )he more personal histories %ou ha$e, the more choices %ou.ll ha$e a$ailable to %ou. A long time ago we had been tr%ing to find eFpedient wa%s of helping people to lose weight. 6ost of the $ehicles that were a$ailable at that time didn.t seem to work, and we disco$ered that there were some real differences between the wa% people ha$e weight problems. 'ne of the ma#or things we disco$ered is there were a lot of people who had always been fat. )here were other people who had gotten fat, but there were a lot of them who had always been fat. Ghen the% got skinn%, the% freaked out because the% didn.t know how to interact with the world as a skinn% person. If %ou.$e alwa%s been fat, %ou were ne$er chosen first to be on a sports team. Eou were ne$er asked to dance in high school. Eou ne$er ran fast. Eou ha$e no eFperience of certain kinds of athletic and ph%sical mo$ements. (o instead of tr%ing to get people to ad#ust, we would simpl% go back and create a whole new childhood and ha$e them grow up being a skinn% person. Ge learned this from 6ilton Erickson. Erickson had a client whose mother had died when she was twel$e %ears old, and who had been raised b% a series of go$ernesses. (he wanted to get married and ha$e children, but she knew herself well enough to know that she did not ha$e the re"uisite background to respond to children in the wa%s that she wanted to be able to respond to them. Erickson h%pnoti2ed her and age0regressed her into her past and appeared periodicall% as the "1ebruar% 6an." )he 1ebruar% 6an appeared repeatedl% throughout her personal histor%, and presented her with all the eFperiences that she needed. Ge simpl% eFtended this further. Ge decided that there was no need to #ust appear as the 1ebruar% 6an, Gh% not 6arch, April and 6a%I Ge started creating entire personal histories for people, in which the% would ha$e eFperiences which

would ser$e as the resources for the kinds of beha$iors that the% wanted to ha$e. And then we eFtended it from weight problems to all kinds of other beha$iors. Ge did it once with a woman who had grown up being asthmatic. At this time, she had three or four children who wanted to ha$e pets. (he had gone to a $er% fine allergist who insisted that she wasn.t allergic to animals as far as he could tell. If he tested her without telling her what the skin patches were, she didn.t come out being allergic to animals. ,owe$er, if %ou put an animal in her presence, or told her that one had been in the room recentl%, she had a $er% strong allergic reaction. (o we simpl% ga$e her a childhood of growing up without being asthmatic. And an ama2ing thing happened7 not onl% did she lose her allergic response to animals, but also to the things she had been found to be allergic to b% the skin0patch testing. Goman7 ,ow long does that take, ordinaril%, and do %ou use h%pnosis for thatI 3ichard7 E#erything is h%pnosis. &ohn7 )here.s a profound disagreement between us. )here is no such thing as h%pnosis. I would reall% prefer that %ou didn.t use such terms, since the% don.t refer to an%thing. Ge belie$e that all communication is h%pnosis. )hat.s the function of e$er% con$ersation. et.s sa% I sit down for dinner with %ou and begin to communicate about some eFperience. If I tell %ou about some time when I took a $acation, m% intent is to induce in %ou the state of ha$ing some eFperience about that $acation. Ghene$er anyone communicates, the%.re tr%ing to induce states in one another b% using sound se"uences called "words." Do we ha$e an% official h%pnotists hereI ,ow man% of the rest of %ou know that %ou are

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unofficial h%pnotistsI GeHe got one. And the rest of %ou don.t know it %et. I think that it is important to stud% official h%pnosis if %ou are going to be a professional communicator. It has some of the most interesting phenomena about people a$ailable in it. 'ne of the most fascinating things %ou will disco$er once %ou are full% competent in using the ritualistic notions of traditional h%pnosis, is that %ou.ll ne$er ha$e to do it again. A training program in h%pnosis is not for %our clients. It.s for you, because %ou will disco$er that somnambulistic trance is the rule rather than the eFception in people.s e$er%da% "waking acti$it%." Eou will also disco$er that most of the techni"ues in different t%pes of ps%chotherap% are nothing more than h%pnotic phenomena. Ghen %ou look at an empt% chair and start :8: talking to %our mother, that.s a "deep trance phenomenon" called "positi$e auditor% and $isual hallucination." It.s one of the deep trance phenomena that defines somnambulism. Amnesia is another pattern %ou see e$er%where.... Ghat were we talking aboutI I remember one time about two months after I entered the field and started stud%ing it, I was sitting in a room full of adults in suits and ties. And a man there was ha$ing them talk to empt% chairs. 'ne of them said "I feel foolish"and I burst into laughter. )he% all looked at me as if Jwas cra2%. )he% were talking to people who weren!t there, and telling me that hypnosis is badl 'ne of the things that will help people to learn about being good therapists is to be able to look at what the% do and listen to it and reali2e how absurd most of what is going on in therap% is. )hat doesn.t mean it doesn.t work, but it still is definitel% the ma#or theater of the absurd at this time. And when I sa% absurd, I want %ou to separate the notion of absurdit% from the notion of usefulness, because the% are two entirel% different issues. Gi$en the particular culturalJeconomic situation in the Dnited (tates, therap% happens to be an acti$it% which I think is "uite useful. )o answer the other half of %our "uestion, we don.t ordinaril% create new personal histories for people an%more. Ge ha$e spent three hours doing it. And we ha$e done it fifteen minutes a week for siF weeks, and we trained somebod% to do time distortion once, and did it in about four minutes. Ge programmed another person to do it each night as the% dreamed. Ge literall% installed, in a somnambulistic trance, a dream generator, that would generate the re"uisite personal histor%, and ha$e her recall this in the waking state the neFt da%, each da%. As far as I know, she still has the abilit% to create dail% a personal histor% for an%thing she wants. Ghen we used to do change work with indi$iduals, a session for us could last an%where from thirt% seconds to se$en or eight hours. Ge ha$e a different situation than %ou do. Ge are modelers. 'ur #ob is to test all the patterns we ha$e, so that when we do a workshop, we can offer %ou patterns that we ha$e alread% $erified are effecti$e with all the presenting problems that we guess %ou are going to ha$e to cope with. Ge trained a group of people who work at a mental health clinic. )he director took lots and lots of training with us and the% do this kind of work in the clinic. )he% are supported b% the stateC the% don.t make their li$ing from client mone%. )he% now a$erage siF $isits per client and the% ha$e almost no returns. )heir work lasts. 'ne of the interesting things is that the gu% who directs the clinic also has a part0time pri$ate practice. In his pri$ate practice he is apt to see a client twel$e or fifteen times instead of siF times. And it ne$er dawned on him what caused that. )he same patterns that %ou can use to change somebod% "uickl% and unconsciousl% can be used to hook them and keep them as patients. )hat.s a strange thing about therap%7 )he more effecti$e %ou are, the less mone% %ou make. -ecause %our clients get what the% want and lea$e and don.t pa% %ou an%more. Goman7 I ha$e a patient who can.t stand to be touched, because of a rape eFperience. ,ow should I anchor herI
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Eou can anchor in an% s%stem. -ut I would recommend that %ou do touch her, because that.s a statement about her limitations. Eou can begin b% accessing some reall% pleasant eFperience in her and anchoring that, and then eFpanding %our anchor a little bit at a time until she can en#o% being touched. 'therwise she.s going to respond like that for the rest of her life. If %ou respect her limitations, I think %ou are doing her a huge disser$ice. )hat.s the $er% person that %ou want to be able to be touched without ha$ing to recall being raped. And of course %our se"uencing is important. Eou start with a positi$e frame. 1or eFample, %ou can start b% talking with her, before therapy begins, about a $acation or something else pleasant, and when %ou get the response, anchor it. 'r %ou can .check to make sure that at least some time in her life she had a pleasant seFual eFperience, and anchor that. 6an7 Do %ou ha$e to anchor as ob$iousl% as %ou ha$e been demonstratingI Ge are being $er% ob$ious and eFaggerated in our mo$ements as we are anchoring here because we want %ou to obser$e the process and learn as the changes occur. If we had brought inda up here and anchored her auditoril%, with $oice tonalities, %ou.d ha$e no idea what we did. )he more co$ert %ou are, the better off %ou will be in %our pri$ate practice. Eou can be $er% co$ert in the wa% %ou touch. Eou can use tones of $oice. Eou can use words like "parent," "child," and "adult," or postures, gestures, eFpressions. Eou can.t not anchor, but most people aren.t s%stematic. Anchors are e$er%where. ,a$e %ou e$er been in a classroom where there.s a blackboard and somebod% went up to the blackboard and went4,e pantomimes scraping his fingernails down the blackboard. 6ost people wince or groan.5 Ghat are %ou doingI Eou.re cra2%/ :8B )here.s no blackboard. ,ow.s that for an anchorI Ge first noticed anchoring as we watched other people do therap%. )he client comes in and sa%s "Eeah, man, I.$e been #ust down in the dumps for se$en %ears, and ..." )he therapist leans o$er and puts his hand on the client.s shoulder and sa%s "I.m going to put the full force of m% skills behind the changes that we will work toward together in this session." And then the therapist does some reall% good work. )he client changes, and feels reall% good. )hen the therapist sa%s ")hat reall% pleases me" and as he does he leans forward and puts his hand on the client.s shoulder again. Ghammo, that anchor accesses the depression again. I He seen a therapist take awa% a phobia and gi$e it back nine times in a single session, without ha$ing the faintest idea what she was doing. At the end of the session she said "Gell, we.ll ha$e to work more on this neFt time." Do %ourself a fa$or. ,ide %ourself where %ou can see %our clients make the transition from the street to %our office. Ghat happens is a miracle. )he% are walking down the street, smiling, feeling good. As the% enter the building, the% start accessing all the garbage that the% are going to talk about, because the building is an anchor. Eou can.t not anchor. It.s onl% a "uestion of whether %ou do it in a useful way or not. Ge know an old )rans%l$anian therapist who sol$ed the problem b% ha$ing two offices. ,e has one office in which %ou come in and %ou tell him all %our troubles. And then he sa%s nothing to %ouC he #ust stands up and takes %ou into the neFt room and does change work. And then prett% soon he #ust takes %ou into the other room and %ou changeC %ou don.t ha$e to go through the personal histor% which has all the pain and suffering. Ghen couples ha$e been together for a while the% usuall% end up not touching each other much. Do %ou know how the% do thatI et me show %ou. +ome up here, +har. )his is a good wa% to alienate %our lo$ed ones. Eou.re in a reall% bad mood, reall% depressed. And I.m %our lo$ing husband, so I come up and I go ",e%, it.s going to be all right," and put m% arm around %our shoulders. )hen all I ha$e to do is wait until %ou.re in a good mood and reall% happ%, and come up and sa% ",e%, %ou want to go outI" and put m% arm around %ou again. -oom/ Instead of touching each other when the% are happ% and making all kinds of great

anchors, couples usuall% anchor each other into unpleasant states. All of %ou who ha$e done work with couples or families know %ou one of them eFplodes. If %ou didn.t happen to notice the little sound, or the mo$ement, or the bod% swa% awa% from the other person, it.s baffling. Ghat happenedI Nobod% knows. )he anchors that people are responding to in "maladapti$e beha$ior" are usuall% outside of their awareness. )here.s a great eFercise %ou can do. Get together with a famil% or a couple, wait until one of those eFplosions happens, and detect what %ou think was the cue that initiated the eFplosion. )hen adopt it in your beha$ior, and find out if %ou can get them to eFplode again. If %ou can get them to eFplode, %ou know %ou.$e identified eFactl% the ke% point in their interaction. et.s sa% it.s a raised e%ebrow. )hen all %ou ha$e to do is anchor a pleasant response kinestheticall%, and then fire off that anchor and raise %our e%ebrow at the same time. In the future when someone raises their e%ebrow, it won.t ha$e that effect an% more. Eou can also use anchoring in the conteFt of an organi2ation or a corporation. )he% are #ust like families, basicall%. If %ou know ahead of time that a group of people is going to get together and the% He been meeting for %ears, the%.re going to disagree in patterned wa%s. 'ne of the things %ou can do is to meet with each of them indi$iduall% beforehand, and establish a co$ert non0$erbal anchor to change the most salient irritating parts of their non0$erbal communication. (ome people ha$e $oice tones that when %ou hear them %ou #ust feel bad and disagreeable, no matter what the% sa%. Nobod% could continue to talk that wa% if the% had auditor% feedback loops. If the% could hear themsel$es, the% would talk differentl%. I guess it.s a protecti$e de$ice. -ullfrogs do that. A bullfrog makes such a huge sound, it would deafen itself if it heard itself, because its ear is so close to the source of that loud noise. )he ner$e impulses for the sound, and the ner$e impulses from the muscles that make the sound, arri$e at the brain :=8 degrees out of phase and cancel each other. (o the bullfrog ne$er hears itself. And it seems like a lot of people I meet operate the same wa%. Another thing that often happens in a corporate situation is this7 (omebod% becomes so eFcited about a point the% want to make that he begins to reall% push and gesture. (uddenl% the person on the other side sees the pointing finger and the intense look on his face and that triggers an anchored response in them. Awa% the% go. )heir response is partiall% to this human being in this time and place, and a whole lot to other times and placesanchored b% the eFcited face and the pointing finger. ,uman beings operate in what we call a "miFed :8A state" most of the time. If I ask %ou to look around and find someone in this group who reminds %ou of someone else, I will guarantee that %our responses to that person will be a miFture of responses to them here and now, and old responses to whoe$er it is the% remind %ou ofunless %ou are $er%, $er% careful and clean in %our responses to that person. Eou are all sensiti$e to that processC it.s called a "contaminated" response in )A, and it.s a common wa% that people respond. Goman7 Does it make an% difference whether %ou touch the right or left side of the bod% when %ou anchor kinestheticall%I )here are fine distinctionsthere.s a lot of artistr%. -ut for the purposes of doing therap%, %ou don.t need to know about them. If %ou want to be a magician, it.s a different game. If %ou want to create artificial credit cards that aren.t there, and things like that, there are certain useful kinds of distinctions. -ut for the purpose of doing therap%, kinesthetic anchors are ade"uate, and either side of the bod% will be as good.
:8> can be sitting there and e$er%thing is going along nicel% and suddenl%

(ometimes it helps to be able to anchor tonall%. Hirginia (atir anchors tonall%. (he has a certain tone of $oice she uses whene$er she does change work. (he talks in a regular tonalit% for siF hours, and then suddenl% she changes her tonalit%. Ghen she uses that tonalit%, boom/ that.s it. )he people change. Erickson has a special tonalit% he uses when he wants people to go into trance. A lot of people in trance ha$e their e%es closed. Ghat does Erickson do for anchoring at that point, since he.s in a wheel chair and he can.t reach around and do kinestheticsI +lose %our e%es for a moment. I.m going to talk, and as I talk I.m going to mo$e m% head back and forth. I want %ou to notice whether %ou can detect the spatial dislocation of m% $oice, e$en from this distance. If %ou can, fine. If %ou can.t, %ou detected it unconsciousl% I.ll guarantee %ou, because that.s one of the ma#or anchoring s%stems that Erickson uses with people who ha$e their e%es closed in trance. All of those will work. )he choice %ou make about what s%stem %ou anchor in will determine the kind of response %ou get. If %ou want to in$ol$e the person.s consciousness, anchor in all s%stems. If %ou want to be co$ert and go around a resistant conscious mind, anchor in an% s%stem that is not represented in consciousness. If the person.s predicates and their e%e mo$ement patterns gi$e %ou the information that the% are primaril% kinesthetic, don.t anchor in that s%stem unless %ou, want their conscious resources in$ol$ed. If %ou anchor that same person tonall%, the% will ha$e no conscious representation of it. :8< Anchoring E+ercise Ge are going to ask %ou to begin with kinesthetic anchors. )he% seem to be the easiest to learn, and the most useful. Eou.ll generali2e naturall% from those. Eou can anchor in an% s%stem. !air up again, A and -. Eou are both going to operate in both positions. A, %our #ob is to do the following7 1ace -, and place %our right hand lightl% on -.s left knee. )hen ask an accessing "uestion7 "Do %ou remember the last time that %ou had a reall% good seFual eFperienceI" Gait for an appropriate response. Eou.$e got to be able to detect a response before %ou can anchor it. As %ou begin to see changes, %ou begin to appl% pressure with %our hand. Eou obser$e the changes in the parameters of muscle tone, skin color, breathing, lip si2e, etc. As %ou detect them, let those actuall% dri$e the pressure in %our hand. Ghen the changes le$el out, then %ou #ust lift %our hand off. )hen %ou will ha$e a perfectl% timed anchor. Don.t anchor initiall% until %ou can see a difference in %our partner.s response. Eour abilit% to see a difference depends on how forceful %ou are in amplif%ing what %ou are getting. If %ou do things like this7 4low, slow $oice5 ",a$e %ou e$er been reall% eFcitedI" or 4high, "uick $oice5 ",a$e %ou e$er been reall% sadI" that won.t work as well as if %ou congruentl% sa% eFcitedl% " ook, ha$e %ou e$er been reall% eFcitedI" )he more eFpressi$el% %ou access, the more eFpressi$el% the% will respond. )hen %ou place %our left hand on their right knee, and ask them "Ghat in %our eFperience is the opposite of thatI" )he% will access whate$er is the opposite, for them. As the changes occur, again %ou increase the pressure as %ou see the changes until the% plateau, and then lift %our hand off. )hen %ou ha$e two anchors. Ghat we want %ou to do is to use one, # and notice the changes. !ause, and then use the other one, and notice . # the changes. It works e$en better if %ou distract %our partner.s Q consciousness with something neutral, like "Do %ou remember seeing # the lights as we came into the buildingI" as %ou use that anchor. (ee if # %ou can regularl% get the same response when %ou use %our anchors. D # Ghen %ou are satisfied that %ou ha$e two anchors that work, and D @ %ou can see the difference between them, then we want %ou to hold D both at the same time, for about B80<8

seconds, and watch an ama2ing i i e$ent, called "integration." Gatch %our partner.s face. Eou will first see # @ half of the face with one of those responses and the other half with the # other, and then the% will integrate. Anchors are not buttonsC %ou ha$e # :8@ to hold them until %ou see the full response. 'nce the integration begins, %ou don.t ha$e to hold an% more. )he purpose of this eFercise is not to do therap% with %our partner. )he purpose is simpl% for %ou to $erif% with %our own sensor% apparatus that anchors eFist, and that %ou are capable of anchoring. All %ou are doing is learning to anchor. )his afternoon well teach %ou how to use it to do therap%. Go ahead.

)here was one "uestion that came up repeatedl% during the eFercise. -ill said "Gell, I was imagining a time with m% wife that was eFtremel% sensuall% pleasurable there on the one knee. And on the other knee, I was remembering a time when she didn.t seem to be willing to be with me, or the demands of keeping the house, etc. didn.t allow us time to sit down together, and I got angr%." -ill.s partner was able to get the two distinctl%, and to go back and reaccess themC the anchoring worked fine. ,e collapsed the two anchors and the integration occurred. And their "uestion is "Ghat will happen now when he sees his wifeI" )he answer to this is reall% important insofar as our understanding of our work goes. Ghat will happen now is that when he sees his wife, he will ha$e the choice of those purel% sensual, pleasant feelings in the past, or the feelings of anger from the past, or<and this is $er% important any combination of the two. )hose were two antagonistic, dissociated feeling states in the past. Ghen %ou anchor each one, %ou also anchor the antagonistic ph%siolog%, muscle patterns, breathing, etc. )hen when %ou stimulate both at the same time, the ph%siological patterns which are antagonistic literall% interrupt each other%ou could see that in the person.s face, in their breathing, and so on. In the process the% become integrated so that the person can come up with any combination of those feelings which were pre$iousl% dissociated, and respond appropriatel% in conteFt. )he presupposition behind our beha$ior in this area is that gi$en a set of choices, a person will alwa%s make the best choice that the% ha$e a#ailable in the conteFt. I think it.s entirel% appropriate for an%one to ha$e the abilit% both to be full% sensual with another person as well as to be angr%, and all the miFes in between. -% integrating in this wa%, using anchoring as an integrati$e de$ice to break down the dissociations, we make sure that %ou ha$e a full range of response in that area. 'ne of the lies we told %ou was that the anchoring eFercise %ou did is not therap%. "Eou are #ust going to anchor this here and that there and then %ou are going to collapse the two and integrate them." I want %ou to think about that. Ghat %ou did with the knee anchors and the integration is formall% identical to gestalt two0chair work. Gestalt people use chairs as anchors and when %ou switch from one chair to the other, %our feelings actuall% change. If %ou were on the outside as the therapist, %ou would actuall% see facial, postural and color changes as the person mo$ed from one chair to the other. )hose chairs are anchors. )he problem is that it.s hard to get integration. ,ow do %ou push the chairs togetherI (o %ou ha$e to make people go back and forth reall% fast. Now we.d like %ou all to pair up again and do the "changing personal histor%" pattern that we did this morning with inda. I.ll re$iew it briefl%7 1irst, what response does %our partner ha$e now that sJhe wants to changeI Anchor that to stabili2e the situation, and to gi$e %ou access to it. Now, how would %ou like to beha$e, or what resource would %ou need, to beha$e in a wa%
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that.s more congruent with %our present resourcesI Ghen %ou originall% went through this eFperience, %ou didn.t ha$e all the resources %ou now ha$e. Ghich resource would %ou take back to change %our personal histor%I Ghen ha$e %ou had an eFperience of that resourceI Anchor the response. )hen put the two together. ,old both anchors as %our partner goes back and reli$es the past with the new resource, changing and creating new old histor%, until sJ he is satisfied. ,ere %our sensor% eFperience is important. +heck for congruenc%. Did %ou like the wa% it turned outI If not, do it again. Ghat other resource do %ou needI (ometimes %ou ha$e to gi$e people a couple of resources. 'r sometimes people think that all the% needed is a certain resource and the% take it and go back and it turns out to be a dud. )he conscious mind has a limited understanding of what.s needed back there. )he onl% wa% %ou.re going to find out is b% ha$ing them go back to re0eFperience parts of their personal histor%. After the% are satisfied that the% ha$e a new resource that worked back there, %ou need to bridge, or future0pace. Ghat eFperiences in %our present life are sufficientl% similar to that old one to trigger the unwanted responseI Ghat is the first thing %ou see, hear, or feel that :89 I lets %ou identif% this kind of situationI )hen anchor the new resource to those conteFtual cues. '*. Go ahead.

)here are man%, man% useful wa%s of organi2ing the whole process called ps%chotherap%. 'ne of the wa%s that is "uite simple, and therefore elegant, is to treat e$er% ps%chological limitation like a phobia. A phobia can be thought of as the paradigm case of ps%chological limitation. A person who has a phobia made a decision, unconsciousl%, under stress, sometime earlier in their life in the face of o$erwhelming stimuli. )he% succeeded in doing something that humans often ha$e a hard time doing. )he% succeeded in one0trial learning. E$er% time that set of stimuli comes up again later in their life, the% make e+actly the same response. It.s a remarkable achie$ement. Eou change o$er the %ears, and despite eFternal conteFtual changes, %ou are still able to maintain that stimulus0response arc. )he thing that makes phobias sort of interesting is the fact that the responses are so consistent. If a person sa%s "I can.t be asserti$e around m% boss," the% are essentiall% sa%ing "(omewhere in m% personal histor% I ha$e an eFperience or a set of eFperiences of being asserti$e. I cannot get to that resource in the conteFt of m% boss." Ghen a person responds with a phobic response to a snake, that.s a similar situation. I know that at other times in their eFperience, in their personal histor%, the% ha$e been able to be "uite calm and courageous. ,owe$er, in the conteFt of a snake, the% can.t get to that resource. Dp to this time in the de$elopment of ps%cholog% and ps%chiatr% and counseling, people ha$en.t tried to organi2e information to go directl% after things. 1reud set up a rule "Eou must go into histor%," so we.$e decided if %ou can understand how something de$eloped historicall%, %ou can work with it. I think %ou onl% need to do that once or twice, though. Gi$en that %ou understand, historicall%, how people are capable of creating phobias, %ou don.t need a historical understanding of each and e$er% phobia, as long as %ou understand that there are similar processes at work. )he wa% in which people get phobias is fascinating. ,owe$er, once %ou understand something about the structure %ou can go ahead and change it, because all phobias are going to work in the same wa%. !eople ha$e strategies which produce phobic responses. Gho here has a phobiaI

Goman7 IHe got one about dri$ing a car across a bridge and falling in the car into the water.

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If %ou were obser$ing her, e$er%thing that %ou need to know about changing her has alread% happened. Gould %ou like to get rid of itI Is it something that restricts %our beha$iorI Goman7 'h, I.d lo$e to get rid of it/ Are %ou sureI Goman7 'f course. Eeah, I.m sure. I #ust wasn.t sure I wanted to share it, but IHe alread% shared it/ -ut %ou didn.t need to share it/ Eou could ha$e kept it a secret. Ge don.t need an% content. In fact, we prefer not to ha$e an%. Is there someone else here with a phobia who would be unwilling to talk about itI An% time we ask for $olunteers, %ou keep the content to %ourself. None of %ou knew what inda was thinking about this morning. )hat.s the format we.ll alwa%s use for demonstrations, so feel free to demonstrate. 'ne wa% for us to respect %our integrit% as human beings, whether it.s in pri$ate practice or in a group demonstration like this, is for %ou to keep the content to %ourself. Ge don.t need it. Ge operate with process an%wa%. +ontent is irrele$ant, and besides that, it.s often depressing. Ge don.t want to hear it. And when %ou tell people the content of %our problem, %ou look like a fool. It.s a good thing we interrupted %ou before %ou told them what the content was, rightI '*. Ghat.s %our nameI 7R Goman7 )amm%. )amm%. Her% good. 4,e contorts his bod% and se$eral different intense eFpressions pass across his face.5 An% weird non0$erbal analogue is good, especiall% if %ou get clients who ha$e been in therap% before. Eou need to do something to throw them off balance an%thing to break up their patterns. -ecause otherwise the% will come in and tell %ou the same thing the% told e$er%one else. )he% will come in and tell %ou a prerecorded message. Ge once heard a tape recording of a client with the therapist before us, and in the whole first session with us she said eFactl% the same thingC the same words in the same order. Ge were fascinated to find out how much she could reproduce. It was almost identical until we inter$ened in the process. I #umped up and started roaring about God. "God said !6ou will changeB!?The easiest wa% to do therap% is to enter the client.s realit%. )his woman was eFtremel% religious, and the easiest wa% to assist her in making a change was to make m%self an intermediar% between God and her. )hat.s what all priests do, isn.t itI It was acceptable to her. All I did
was feed back information that she had gi$en to me from her unconsciouswhich were the instructions she needed. Now, )amm%, let.s pretend that we don.t know that this is about bridges. Gould %ou gi$e me a code word for the phobic response that %ou ha$e had for some %earsI )amm%7 !ink. !ink. (he.s phobic of pink. Now %ou ha$e as much information as when she sa%s "I.m afraid of dri$ing across bridges." Eou still ha$e no idea what the response is, where it came from, or what the dimensions are internall% and eFternall%. (ecret therap% and code words $i$idl% point out the illusion of understanding another person when the% use words that do not refer to sensor%0based descriptions. Now, before we begin, let me ask %ou something, )amm%. Gould %ou think of a situation in which %ou eFpressed %ourself with what %ou regard as a fine representation of %our full capabilities as an adult human being, as a mature woman. (ometime in the past few %earsit ma% ha$e been a stressful situation or ma%be #ust a happ% occasion %ou beha$ed in a wa% that %ou found particularl% satisf%ing. I want %ou to take %our time and find such a situation, and let

Ill

me know when %ou ha$e it. Do %ou understand the re"uestI 4(he nods.5... '*. 1irst of all, I hope %ou all noticed a distinct change in her face, in her breathing, etc. )hose of %ou who were watching her could see that )amm% constructed a $isual image. (he searched $isuall% and she went up and to her right. (he is a normall% organi2ed right0hander, cerebrall%. (he didn.t see the situation from inside of it. (he saw herself in the situation. As such, her kinesthetic response was not as strong as it would be if she did the following. Gould %ou make that image of %ourself again, and when %ou see it clearl%, I want %ou to step inside the image so that %ou are actuall% back in that situation that represents for %ou an eFample of %our full capacit% as a woman. Ghen %ou can actuall% feel in %our bod% again the feelings of competence and strength that %ou associate with that situation, #ust reach o$er with %our left hand and hold m% hand.... '*. I ha$e no idea what her specific eFperience is. I do know, howe$er, from the remarkable, dramatic change that )amm% #ust offered me non0$erball%, that she succeeded in carr%ing out m% instructions. And I agree with her. )hat looks reall% good. )hat fits m% hallucinations about what competence, etc. is. )amm%, do %ou happen to know what the original eFperience was that this phobia is connected toI )amm%7 No, I don.t. '*, that.s t%pical. It.s t%pical that the person onl% knows that in certain kinds of situations the% ha$e a $er% powerful kinesthetic responsein fact in %our case I would describe it as an o$erwhelming response. )hat response is so o$erwhelming that in the past when %ou ha$e been in these situations %ou literall% eFercise no choice. Eou ha$e found it to restrict %our beha$ior in the past, rightI )amm%7 'h, %esin m% dream world, too. 6ost phobic people do not know what their original trauma was, and, indeed, it is not e$en necessar% to know that. I.m going to do it as if 4, it were necessar%, but it.s #ust part of the m%tholog%. )amm% has succeeded for %ears in making the same response o$er and o$er and o$er again. (he has demonstrated ade"uatel% that she knows how to do that. A phobia can be thought of as nothing more than a one0trial learning that was ne$er updated. And it worked, b% the wa%. I will often turn right to the person and sa% this7 I want to reassure the part of %ou that has been making %ou phobic all these %ears that I respect what it has done, and I regard that as a $alid response. Eou.re here. Eou sur$i$ed. If there hadn.t been a part to make that effecti$e response to keep %ou out of certain situations, %ou might not be here. 6% desire is not to take awa% the choice of being phobic but to update it so that %ou can also make other responses which are more congruent with %our full resources as a full% grown woman. Ge.re going to use that same capacit% to do one0trial learning to help %ou learn to do something else. In a moment I.m going to ask %ou to do some time0tra$eling. As %ou go back I want %ou to increase pressure here on m% hand at an% point that %ou need to be reminded of %our competence as a full% grown, mature woman. )his is %our connection with the present time and all the powerful adult resources that %ou ha$e as a full% grown person. Do %ou know what the feelings of the phobia areI )amm%7 Dmhm. 4,e touches her arm.5 )hat.s all %ou need to do to anchor the phobic response. 'r %ou can ask a different "uestion7 Ghat is the last time that %ou had an intense response like thatI )amm%7 Dmhm. 4,e touches her arm again.5 I got the same response that she ga$e a moment ago when I said "Do %ou know what the feelings of the phobia areI"the same facial eFpression, the same breathing. )hat.s now anchored on her arm. )his anchor constitutes a stabili2ing factor to help us go back and
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At some point while %ou see those images which are connected intimatel% with these feelings of pinking, I.m going to sa% "Ghat do %ou see nowI" I would like %ou to stabili2e the image at that point. ikel% it will be an image of %ourself at a %ounger age, dressed in some particular wa%, in some colors, in some conteFt. I don.t know what an% of that will be and at the moment %ou don.t either, because %ou don.t know where this came from. As soon as I ask %ou to stop the image, I want %ou to form a snapshot and #ust hold it stable. I don.t want %ou to run an% mo$ies %et, because we need to make one more arrangement to make %ou e$en more0 comfortable before %ou run the mo$ie.

::B through her personal eFperience to find the original eFperience. It.s not necessary to do it this wa%C this is one wa% to do phobias. Eour holding hands with me constitutes %our connection to all the strength and resources %ou ha$e as an adult woman. )here were eFperiences in %our past, namel% those connected with this phobia, which we.re going to go back and reli$e, but in a wa% that in$ol$es no discomfort at all, a wa% that in$ol$es total comfort. And I call to %our mind the notion of dissociation that we talked about %esterda%. Ge told %ou during the eFercise %ou did %esterda% afternoon to be sure %ou step inside the picture so that %ou reco$er the full kinesthetics. )he opposite holds true here. 1or %ears )amm% has been eFposed to certain kinds of real life situations and responded with a lot of emotion, a lot of kinesthetic feelings o$er and o$er again. )o ha$e her go back and reli$e that eFperience again and ha$e those feelings again will simpl% reinforce it. )hat.s ridiculous. And most people.s unconscious minds sa% "-ullshit/ Ge aren.t going back thereC that hurts/" and the% are called "resistant clients," rightI 3espect that resistance as a statement that sa%s " ook, make some new arrangements so we don.t ha$e to go through the pain again." )he specific arrangements might go like this7 I.d like %ou to close %our e%es, )amm%. Eou can $ar% the pressure in %our hand an% time %ou need more strength. Eou can draw it directl% from here, and that.s also a wa% for me to know where %ou are. In a moment I.m going to reach o$er and touch %ou here on %our arm. )hat.s going to help %ou remember a little bit of the feelings of pinking. I don.t want %ou to go through the feelings again. I want %ou to take these feelingsonly as much of them as %ou needand drift back until there comes before %our e%es a scene in which you see yourself o#er there at a %ounger age in a situation which has some connection with how %ou first learned to respond that wa%.

::> 3emember that %ou can modulate how much of these feelings 4,e touches the phobia anchor on her arm.5 %ou are going to use to drift back until %ou see a clear focused $isual image connected with these feelings, that represents where this original learning took place. )hat.s right, %ou draw on all the strength %ou need here, as %ou drift back through time, e$en further, take %our time ... e$en more. )here.s no rush. -e perfectl% comfortable. Now look at that image. And simpl% nod %our head when %ou clearl% see an image of %ourself at a %ounger age....

)amm%7 I see m%self at a %ounger age but I.m not in an% situation. I.m #ust )hat.s fine. +an %ou see what color shoes %ou are wearingI )amm%7 -lack. '*. Now I want %ou slowl% to look at the surface that.s right under the shoes. 1rom there let %our e%es slowl% notice what is around %ou as %ou stand there in those little black shoes. 3emembering to breathe, remembering to use these feelings of strength and competence. EouHe demonstrated ade"uatel% that %ou know about those old feelings. Now I want %ou to demonstrate that %ou can ha$e these feelings of strength as %ou watch that image. 3emembering to breatheC oF%gen is essential for this whole process. )hat.s right.

Ghen %ou ha$e the still image, #ust nod.... '*. Now, I would like %ou to hold that image constant, #ust a snapshot. 3elaF %our right handnot %our left. Eour left can be as tight as %ou need it to be in order to get access to these feelings of strength that %ou need. And %ou are breathing nicel% now. +ontinue %our breathing. Now, I would like %ou slowl% to float up and out of %our bod% so that %ou can actuall% see %ourself sitting here holding hands with me, ridiculous as that ma% sound. )ake all the time %ou need. And when %ou ha$e succeeded in floating out of %our bod% so that %ou can see %ourself from abo$e or the side or the front or the back, #ust nod that %ou ha$e succeeded. EFcellent. Now, staying in that third position, I want %ou to look past %ourself sitting here holding m% hand and feeling the feelings of strength and adult resourcefulness. This time, with feelings of strength and comfort, I want %ou to watch and listen carefull% to e$er%thing that happened to %oung )amm% wa% back there, so that %ou can make new under0 standings and learnings about what occurred, and therefore ha$e new choices. Eou are to do this, watching from the third position,
::A ha$ing the feelings of resourcefulness and strength connected with m% hand here. *nowing that %ou did li$e through that and %ou won.t ha$e to again, let that %ounger part of %ou feel the old feelings o#er there as she goes through that old eFperience for the last time. Ghen %ou.$e seen and heard it all, ade"uate for %our making new understandings, simpl% nod %our head and sta% there. Eou can begin the mo$ie now.... 4(he nods.5 All right, now $er%, $er% slowl% I want %ou to float down from the third position and step back in and reunite with %our bod%, sitting here with feelings of resourcefulness and strength.... And now I want %ou to do something $er% powerful and important for %ourself. Eounger )amm% did something $er% powerful for %ouC she went through those feelings again for %ou, and she let %ou watch and listen with comfort and strength to stimuli which in the past ha$e triggered o$erwhelming responses. )his time %ou were able to see and hear those without pinking. I want %ou to walk o$er to %oung )amm% in %our mind.s e%e. I want %ou to reach out and use all of the adult female resources %ou ha$e, to comfort her and reassure her that she will ne$er ha$e to go through that again. )hank her for li$ing through the old feelings for the last time for %ou. EFplain to her that %ou can guarantee that she li$ed through it because %ou are from her future. And when %ou see on her face and in her posture and in her breathing that she is reassured that %ou will be there to take care of her from now on, I want %ou to reall% reach out, take her b% the shoulders and pull her close and actuall% feel her enter %our bod%. !ull her inside. (he is a part of %ou, and she.s a $er% energetic part. )hat energ% is freed now from that phobic response. I would like %our unconscious mind to select some particular pleasurable acti$it% that some of that energ% can now be used for, for %ourself here in the present and in the future. -ecause energ% is energ% and %ou deser$e it. &ust sit there and relaF and en#o% those feelings. et them spread through %our whole bod%. )ake %our time. EouHe got plent% going on inside. I.m going to talk to the group. Do %ou understand the anchorsI 1irst, she holds hands with me. )his is a "bail0out" anchor, a resource anchor that will alwa%s get her out of trouble and sa%s ",ere, %ou.re grounded right here." It.s also a reall% eF"uisite biofeedback mechanism. -% temperature and pressure and moisture changes in her hand, I get an incredible amount of information about her compleF internal eFperience. An anchor here on her arm stabili2es the phobic feelings to use as a lead to go back and ::<

find some $isual eFperience that will ser$e as a metaphor for her entire set of eFperiences called "the phobic response." 'nce she sees herself at an earlier age o$er there, using the feelings to lead her back to something she had ne$er known about consciousl% before, then I dissociate her a second step I ask her to float up out of her bod%. Eou could see the changes in posture and color and breathing and so forth which indicated which position she was operating from. 'nce the two0step dissociation has been established, I ha$e her watch and listen with comfort to the old eFperience. (he saw and heard things toda% which ha$e ne$er been a$ailable to her before. )amm%7 )hat.s true. (he was so o$erwhelmed in the past b% the kinesthetic phobic response that she couldn.t see and hear what was going on. +onsciousness is limited. As she watches and listens to herself at a %ounger age, the competent feelings of comfort and resourcefulness are being associated with the auditor% and $isual stimuli from the past. And when she.s gone through the whole thing, then we reintegrate. E$er% model of therap%, e$er% ps%chotheolog%, is built on dissociation and sorting to help people reorgani2e. Ghether %ou call it "parent0child0adult," "topdog0underdog," using chairs or words doesn.t matter as long as %ou label and sort a person.s beha$ior, dissociating parts of them, one from the other. EdD ha$e the responsibilit% as a professional communicator to put your clients bac3 together before the session is o$er. 'ne eas% wa% to make sure the dissociations that %ou create are re0integrated before the end of the session is to simpl% re$erse the process b% which %ou create the dissociation. In this particular case, the dissociation is 4:5 see %ourself o$er there at a %ounger age, 4;5 float up and out of %our bod%. 1or the integration, 4:5 float back down and re#oin %ourself hereand %ou could see the tremendous change in her that indicated that she had succeeded in doing that, 4;5 then walk o$er in %our mind.s e%e, reach out, comfort and reassure the %ounger )amm%, thank her for going through this so that %ou could learn, pull her into %ou, re0 integrate her and feel the feelings of energ%. Ghat we.re doing here is structured regression. !rimal )herap% claims to get complete regression back to infanc%. If that were true, then !rimal )herap% would achie$e change onl% insofar as it doesn.t work/ If !rimal )herap% reall% got complete regression, it would be doing eFactl% what )amm% has been doing with the phobic response ::@ up until toda%. +omplete regression simpl% means that %ou reli$e the eFperience in all s%stems. If %ou do that, %ou reinforce it. A partial, structured, regression of the t%pe )amm% and I were working with here allows %ou the freedom to go back and connect new kinds of resources with the auditor% and $isual stimuli which in the past ha$e elicited old, uncomfortable, kinesthetic responses. It.s impossible for her to go through this eFperience and still maintain that old response because she.s done one0trial learning again. Now she doesn.t ha#e to be phobic. I ha$en.t taken that choice awa%. )here ma% be some conteFt in which being phobic in response to something ma% be useful. I.m not pla%ing God. I presuppose that people make the best choice in conteFt. 6% #ob is to make sure that resources which ha$e been dissociated from a certain conteFt become a$ailable in that conteFt. I lea$e it to the uni"ue human being, with all the $arious needs the% ha$e that I don.t e$en know an%thing about, to make an ade"uate selection somewhere along the continuum between resourcefulness and terror. And she will. )hose resources ha$e been dissociated in the past, but the% are now integrated and the% are now both responses to the same stimuli. 6an7 Eou are making certain assumptions about integration and a lot of things that ha$e happened.

3ight. Is there an% particular assumption %ou.d like to challengeI 6an7 Dm, all of them. Good. !ick one. 6an7 )hat she feels an% different now than she did before. '*. et me gi$e %ou a wa% of testing. 4,e turns to )amm%.5 et me ask %ou a "uestion. 4,e touches the phobia anchor. (he turns to him and smiles7 "DmhmI"5 )hat.s fineC %ou answered it. Does that make sense to %ou, sirI Do %ou remember that the last time I touched her R there she had a phobic responseI I had anchored the phobic reaction there, and then I demonstrated that I had control of her phobia. Ghen I reached o$er and touched her arm she became phobic. Now I reach o$er and touch her and what does she doI (he looks at me as if to sa% "Ghat do %ou wantI" )hat is a far more elegant demonstration than an% $erbal feedback I could get. I.m not sa%ing don.t use $erbal conscious feedback, but understand that when %ou ask for that, %ou are tapping into the least informati$e part of the person7 their conscious mind. et me gi$e %ou another wa% of testing. )amm%, I.d like %ou to tr% something for me. )his is #ust a scientific eFperiment. Are there an% ::= bridges here in townI I would like %ou to close %our e%es and fantasi2e dri$ing across a bridge, and I want %ou to do it in a special wa%. I want %ou to do it from the point of $iew of being in a car<not watching %ourselfso that %ou see what %ou would see if %ou were actuall% dri$ing across the bridge. Ghat happens when %ou do thatI ... )amm%7 4(he raises her e%ebrows, looks slightl% pu22led.5 I dro$e across the bridge. "I dro$e across the bridge." Ghat could be a more elegant responseI If she had told me "I was so happy dri$ing across the bridge," I.d sa% "GhatI Gait, it.s #ust an ordinar% bridge." )amm%7 -ut alwa%s before when I dro$e across a bridge, I immediatel% began to program m%self "Ghat am I going to do when the car goes off the sideI" And what did she sa% this timeI "I #ust dro$e across the bridge." Ghen %ou associate the strength and confidence with those auditor% and $isual stimuli, dri$ing across a bridge becomes%.6(f another human acti$it%, the same as the eFperience that the rest of %ou ha$e had dri$ing across bridges %our whole life. )his is also a wa% of testing our work to find out if it is ade"uatel% future0paced. Ge know what she looked like when she had a phobic response. If the same phobic response comes up, we know somehow the integration didn.t happen. Ge.ll find out what happened and re0do it. ,er response was "'h, dri$ing across the bridge." Earlier, with. inda, we were talking about achoring the new response to a cue from the en$ironment. ,ere we.re testing and we.re bridging or future0pacing at the same time. Goman7 +an %ou do this with %ourselfI Ees, with two "ualifications. )omorrow we.re going to teach a pattern called "refraining" which teaches %ou how to establish an internal communication s%stem with some sophistication and subtlet%. If %ou ha$e such an internal communication s%stem, %ou can alwa%s check internall% to make sure that all parts of %ou are congruent. If %ou get a "go0ahead," of course %ou can do it b% %ourself. If there.s some hesitation, reframing gi$es %ou a wa% of getting congruence, internal agreement. Another precaution is that %ou get a reall% good anchor for a powerful, positi$e "blast0out" eFperience, so that if %ou begin to collapse back into the old unpleasant feelings, %ou can bring %ourself out. 1eeling more unpleasantness will not help %ou in this at all. I had a powerful anchor. 6ake sure %ou ha$e one for %ourself. I would recommend that %ou do it with somebod% else if %ou ha$e a $er% ::9 intense phobic response. It isn.t that difficult, and it ob$iousl% doesn.t take that long. 1ind somebod% else, if onl% to operate the bail0out anchor if %ou begin to go back into the unpleasantness. Eou can go slightl% into the phobic response and sa% to %our friend " ook at

what I look like now, and what I.m breathing like now. If %ou see that again, s"uee2e m% hand." )hat would be ade"uate. Eou can run the rest of it %ourself. Goman7 +an %ou do this with childrenI +hildren don.t seem to ha$e that man% phobias. 1or those who do, this will work fine. Ghate$er %ou do with kids, I recommend that %ou sneak up on it. A friend of mine had a nine0 %ear0old kid who was a lous% speller. I said " ook at this list often spelling words." )he kid looked at it, and I said "Now close %our e%es and tell me what the% arenot how to spell them." ,e had some difficult% doing thatC he didn.t ha$e well0de$eloped $isuali2ation. ,owe$er, I said "3emember the Gookie in ;tar WarsB Do %ou remember when the Gookie opened his mouth and showed his teeth like thisI" And he went "'h, %eah/" and then he was $isuali2ing immediatel%. I had him print the words out in the Gookie.s mouth. )here.s alwa%s some eFperience somewhere in a person.s personal histor% that has the re"uisite "ualities %ou need. If %ou combine that eFperience with the task that %ou are tr%ing to do and especiall% with children, make a game out of itthere is no problem. "Ghat do %ou think the Gookie would see if he were watching %ou go through that thing with %our dadI" )hat.s another wa% of getting the dissociation. +hildren are reall% fast. As an adult %ou are a lot slower than a child. Eou are less fluid in %our states of consciousness. )he primar% tool that we offer people who work with children is to use anchoring as a wa% of stabili2ing what %ou are tr%ing to work on, to slow the kid down enough so that %ou can cope. -ecause kids are reall% fast. Goman7 Gh% two steps of dissociationI Eou don.t need it. )hat.s #ust a guaranteeC it.s insurance that she doesn.t collapse back into the old feelings. If we had onl% dissociated her one step, if she collapsed she would collapse right back into the old eFperience, and it would be $er% difficult to get her back out. -% doing it in two steps, if she begins to collapse, she will collapse into the first step and it.s easier to get back out. Eou can tell whether she is up abo$e or back down here b% the changes in posture and skin color and breathing, etc. *nowing that, if I see her collapse from two to one, I gi$e a s"uee2e here, or I sa% "Now let her feel the old feelings o$er there. :;8 6ou watch from up here.?? )hose are wa%s of insuring that she doesn.t #ust re0eFperience the bad feelings. Goman7 Eou asked )amm% to take the feeling and find a picture of herself at a %ounger age. Ghat if she can.t find oneI )hat.s a statement about the therapist, not the client. It should be taken as a comment about what the therapist is doing, indicating that the therapist should change his beha$ior and do it differentl%. et me answer %our "uestion in this wa%. I don.t belie$e that )amm% actuall% had the eFperience that she watched herself go through. (he ma% or ma% not ha$eC I don.t know. -ut it is irrele$ant. 'nce a $er% well0known therapist was $isiting with us, and we recei$ed an emergenc% referral, a suicidal woman. )he ps%chiatrist had gi$en up, sa%ing ",ere, would %ou please take this woman o$erI I.m out of choices." (ince this famous therapist was sta%ing with us, we thought it would be an unprecedented opportunit% to demonstrate some of the uses of h%pnosis Erickson had taught us. -ecause for that therapist, at that point in his e$olution, h%pnosis was a dirt% word. ,e thought it was "manipulati$e." And we told him ")here are wa%s in which Ericksonian h%pnosis is far less manipulati$e than an% insight, conscious0 mind therap% we ha$e e$er run across. et us demonstrate with this woman." (o we began to work with this woman. )he $isiting therapist was sitting there watching and listening.C About ten minutes into the session, he got a re$elation. It was ob$ious. I said "Do %ou ha$e something %ou want us to doI" I had ne$er had a chance to watch this therapist work li$e before. ,e took o$er and started going ?Blood... stairway... childhood,

younger brother... mother cries... screams.? ,e de$eloped this incredible fantas%, which he then essentiall% "sold" to this woman. At first the woman would go "Gee, I don.t remember an%thing like that." 1inall% the woman went "Duuuhhhh/ )hat.s it/ I must ha$e done it/" $er% much like a famil% reconstruction, if %ouHe e$er been through one of those with Hirginia (atir. (uddenl% the woman made all these internal connections, and the $isiting therapist did all this therap% about this past eFperience and the woman changed dramaticall%. ,er beha$ior changed dramaticall%, and she stayed changed, too. (he was a continuing client of ours. Now, when she came back in two weeks, we couldn.t resist. Ge induced a somnambulistic trance, and established an anchor for amnesia so that we could erase an%thing we did during that session because she was doing fine and we didn.t want to interfere. Ge #ust :;: wanted to check and find out what had happened. Ge asked her unconscious mind if in fact the eFperience described b% the therapist during the sessionor an%thing approFimating ithad e$er occurred. )he answer was une"ui$ocall% "No." ,owe$er, that is no different than what #ust happened here. If the eFperience that )amm% generated has all the elements of whate$er the original eFperience or set of eFperiences was, it will ser$e as a metaphor which will be as effecti#e as an actual, factual, historical representation. And from m% sensor% eFperience I can guarantee that it was effecti$e. Goman7 Ghat I still don.t understand is what %ou do if the client is stuck because she has an eFpectation of getting a picture of a childhood incident, and now she.s sitting there doing this and she can.t get a picture. '*, that.s the same choice point as the congruent "I don.t know" that we talked about earlier. Ask her to guess, make it up, lie, fantasi2eC it doesn.t matter. Actuall%, age regression is a $er% eas% phenomenon. Ge said "Go back through time." (he had $er% little conscious idea what we meant b% that, but she responded "uite easil% to it. 6an7 Ghat specificall% were %ou seeing on her faceI )he same response that she originall% demonstrated when we asked her about the feelings of the phobia. I watched her age regress until I saw a #ery intense eFample of it. )here was a patch of %ellow on her cheek. )here was whiteness around the e%es and the side of the face. )here was some kind of scrunching of her chin. )here was an increase in moisture on her skin, especiall% on the bridge of her nose. Ghen that became intensified, I said "Now look at an image, that image there." If %ou tell people to go back through time and the% frown, that.s also a cue. And %ou might tr% something trick% like sa%ing "Gell, go forward in time." "Go through time, #ump back in time.""Go around time." An%thing. It doesn.t matter. )he specific words %ou use are wholl% irrele$ant as long as %ou get the response %ou want. Another wa% to think about it is that e$er%bod% with a phobia knows the feelings of the phobia. )he% ha$e a fragment of the eFperience, so the% can get the rest b% o#erlap. ,ow do %ou find %our car ke%s when %ou want to go to the store and %ou don.t know where the% areI Goman7 I start feeling around through m% pockets. 6an7 I go through the house and look. 6an7 I search m% mind, going back to tr% to $isuali2e where the% are. :;; Goman7 I shake m% purse so I can hear them. '*. If all else fails, %ou can go back to the front door and walk in again. Now, if %ou think about the responses we #ust got, those include the three main representational s%stems. If %ou ha$e an% fragment of an% eFperience, %ou can ha$e it all b% o$erlap. (he had the feelings here. )he feelings, once anchored, stabili2ed her state of consciousness. E$er%thing that she accessed as she closed her e%es and went back in her personal histor% had that set of feelings in

common, guaranteeing that whate$er picture she selected would be in the class called phobic eFperiences. I used the same principle to help her ha$e a complete focused $isual image of herself at a %ounger age. At first she had onl% a picture of herself, but no conteFt. I ask her what color shoes she is wearing. I presuppose that she can see her feet and her shoes, and that she can see colors. (he accepts the presuppositionC she sa%s "-lack." (ince she can see the shoes, then ob$iousl%, "logicall%,"she can see what the% are on top of, the surface she.s standing on. I re"uest that. Ghen she gets the surface, it blends into walls and into trees, or whate$er the rest of the image was. It.s a $er% eas% o$erlap, or intersection, techni"ue that allows me to assist her in reco$ering the image b% constructing portions of it, a little at a time. 6an7 Ghat.s the difference between this techni"ue and s%stematic desensiti2ationI About siF months. )hat.s the ma#or difference, which is a $er% e+pensi#e difference. 6% understanding is that it.s straight conditioning. Ge ha$e simpl% associated a new set of feelings, namel% competence and strength, with the auditor% and $isual stimuli. )here is another $er% important difference. Ge are picking a specific set of feelings and associating it, instead of #ust tr%ing to wipe out the set that is there. )he people that I.$e obser$ed do desensiti2ation are usuall% tr%ing to eliminate a certain kind of beha$ior rather than replacing it with something which is a positi$e response. )he% are the kind of people who answer "Not bad" when %ou ask ",ow are %ou feelingI" Ge claim that e$er% piece of beha$ior has a positi$e function. It.s the best choice a person has in conteFt. It was far better for )amm% to be phobic about bridges than it was to ha$e no program at all. If %ou do s%stematic desensiti2ation, and %ou don.t replace the "negati$e" beha$ioral pattern with something positi$e, it takes a long time because the person will fight. It.s their onl% defense. )hat.s wh% it takes :;B siF months, because a person has to randoml% put something else in its place. 6an7 )here is a replacement, though, with relaFation. (ometimes it.s done that wa%, but relaFation is not the resource that e$er%one is going to need in a phobic situation. If %ou.re dri$ing across a bridge, %ou don.t want to become relaFed suddenl%. If somebod% is in a situation in which the% need to cope and %ou gi$e them feelings of relaFation, the% ma% not cope/ )here ma% be real, genuine dangers in that situation, so one of two things will happen7 either the s%mptom will come back later because it.s protecti$e, or the person will get hurt. Ge got a $er% strong anchor for confidence and for the resources that she has as an adult woman. Ge used thatE we did not use relaFation. (he was #ery alert during this process. Desensiti2ation was an important step, in that people were able to cure phobias with it. I think that it #ust needs to be dressed up a little bit. Instead of using relaFation and associating it with e#erything, tr% associating other things besides relaFation. )here are much more powerful resources in people. )here is nothing that we ha$e offered %ou so far, nor is there an%thing we will offer %ou during the rest of this seminar or in an ad$anced workshop, that isn.t alread% in someone.s beha$ior somewhere. Ghat we.$e done as modelers is to figure out what the essential elements are, and what is unnecessar%. E$er% therap% has dissociation. E$er% therap% has the kinds of sorting techni"ues we.re using here, whether it.s chairs or knee anchors or words. Ghat is useful to ha$e in e$er% therap% is some wa% of doing all that7 some wa% of sorting, some wa% of dissociating, some wa% of integrating. )he names %ou use are wholl% irrele$ant, and most ps%chotheologies are also irrele$ant. )here.s reall% nothing that different between what we did and what gestalt people do b% taking people back through time. )A people do a process called "redecision." )he% are all $er%, $er% similar. Ge looked at all those different processes and tried to find out what the essential elements were, and what was eFtra and unnecessar%. )hen we streamlined it to tr% to find something that

works s%stematicall%. I don.t think there.s an%thing wrong with desensiti2ation, eFcept that sometimes it doesn.t work. )hat.s because there are a lot of things that are eFtra, and some things that are essential are not alwa%s there. (ome people who do desensiti2ation also add the necessar% resources unconsciousl%. -ut when the% teach somebod% else to do it, the% don.t teach that, because it.s not in their consciousness. 'ur function as modelers is to sort those things out. :;> )he other thing is that I don.t know what kind of desensiti2ation %ou are referring to specificall%. (ome use meters and machines. I am a far more sophisticated biofeedback mechanism than an% set of machines. I use reall% sophisticated sensor% apparatus and internal responses as a wa% of amplif%ing or diminishing certain parts of the response that I am recei$ing. )hat.s part of what makes one0trial learning possible in the kind of work we.$e been doing here with anchoring. 6an7 Ghat if a client is unable to use $isual imager%I It is not essential that people $isuali2e to be able to do the phobia process, because the same formal pattern can be done auditoril% or kinestheticall%. )he pattern of this techni"ue does not re"uire $isuali2ation. Ge wanted to use all s%stems as a demonstration. Ge don.t need to do it with all s%stems. Eou could also first take a little time to teach the person how to $isuali2e, using o$erlap. Goman7 +ould %ou do this process without touchingI (ure, %ou can use a tonal anchor or a $isual anchor. Eou can do it without touching. ,owe$er, I would recommend that %ou do it with touching. *inesthetics is an irresistible anchoring s%stem. Ghen somebod% is touched, the% feel it. Ghen %ou make a $isual sign at someone, the% ma% look awa% or close their e%es. 6an7 (o the bail0out anchor could be a certain tone of $oiceI Ees. )onal anchors in this societ% are the most powerful because most Americans do not hear consciousl%. )he number of people in this countr% who hear is almost nil, slightl% more than the number of card0carr%ing musicians. In England it.s considered important to make class distinctions. In order to make class distinctions, %ou ha$e to be able to hear different accents and tonalities. (o English people are more acute at hearing tonal changes. An%one who is bilingual or pol%glot, and who has learned a tonal language, will ha$e a good sensiti$it% to those kinds of changes. 6ost people in the D.(. do not actuall% hear the se"uence of words and the intonation pattern of what the%, or other people, sa%. )he% are onl% aware of the pictures, feelings and internal dialogue that the% ha$e in response to what the% hear. Her% few people are able to repeat back, in the same intonation, what %ou sa% to them. Ge hear people literally. Ge do not add an%thing or subtract an%thing from what the% sa%. )hat is a rare human eFperience, and for a long time we didn.t reali2e thatC we thought e$er%bod% heard words. :;A )he real beginning of all this work started when we began taking people.s words as a literal description of their eFperience, not #ust a metaphor. Ge started communicating back as if the% were literall% the wa% the% had described themsel$es, and we found out that was the case. Ghen someone sa%s "Ghen I focus on those ideas the% feel right, but I tell m%self it wouldn.t work," that is a literal description of their internal eFperience. Now we would like %ou to pick a partner, preferabl% somebod% %ou ha$e not had much contact with. It.s easier to operate at the process le$el with strangers because their beha$ior is less apt to be an anchor for some beha$ior in %ou. Ge assume that %ou are all going to get changes with one another, gi$en %our usual patterns of communication. )r% something new. )he whole point of going through the eFercise is to be eFposed to new material and to do it, to disco$er how well it fits with %our own personal st%le as a communicator. Dntil %ou engage

all %our sensor% channels in pla%ing with this material, %ou won.t ha$e it. Dnderstanding full% is to be able to comprehend it in all representational s%stems, including beha$ior. Ge.d like %ou to practice the two0step $isualJkinesthetic dissociation process that we did with )amm% here. Eou don.t need a full0blown phobia. Eou can use this process with an% unpleasant response, to become familiar with the pattern. )his, or the "change histor%" process will work for nearl% an% presenting problem that I know of. Anchoring will get %ou almost e$er%thing. Ghen %ou.re done, use bridging or future0pacing to be sure that the new response will be triggered b% the conteFt where it.s needed. Go ahead.

'*. ,ow did it goI Ghat "uestions do %ou ha$eI Goman7 I noticed I was getting distracted because m% partner was using man% words that didn.t match the eFperience I had internall%. Ghat %ou need is a $er% subtle maneu$er7 Eou sa% "(hut up/" or %ou kick %our partner/ 'ne of the things that all of %ou can learn from this is that it.s $er% eas% to learn to talk in a wa% that matches %our client.s eFperience. )he wa% to do that is described in our book, Patterns @. It describes the patterns of language that sound specific, but are actuall% simpl% process instructions with 2ero content. :;< 1or eFample, here.s an eFercise %ou can all do. Get comfortable and close %our e%es. )ake a couple of deep breaths and relaF. (ometime within the last fi$e %ears, each of %ou has had a $er% strong eFperience in which %ou learned something of great $alue for %ourself as a human being. Eou ma% or ma% not ha$e a conscious appreciation of eFactl% which episode in %our life histor% this is. I would like %ou to allow that eFperience to come up into %our consciousness. (it there for a moment, with feelings of comfort and strength, knowing %ou.re actuall% here, now. Gith those feelings of comfort and strength, let %ourself see and hear again what it was that happened to %ou back there. )here are additional things to be learned from that eFperience. I would like %ou to allow %ourself the treat of seeing and hearing %ourself go through that again so as to make new understandings and learnings which are embedded in that eFperience in %our past histor%.... And when %ou.$e seen and heard something that %ou belie$e to be of $alue for %ourself, I would like %ou to pick a specific situation that %ou know will occur within the neFt couple of weeks. Noticeagain b% watching and listening with feelings of strength and comforthow %ou can appl% that new learning and that new understanding to this new situation that is going to arise in the neFt couple of weeks. In so doing %ou are making elegant use of %our own personal histor%, and %ou are transferring understandings and learnings from one part of %our personal histor%, so as to increase %our choices as a creati$e human being in the present. )ake all the time %ou need, and when %ou finish, drift back and re#oin us.... (ome of %ou ma% ha$e a clear, solid, resonant understanding of what %ouHe succeeded in doingC some of %ou ma% simpl% ha$e a sense of well0being, a feeling of ha$ing done something without actuall% understanding in detail eFplicitl% what it was that %ou were able to do b% making use of a particularl% powerful eFperience from %our past in a new wa%.... Now I.d like %ou to begin to drift back slowl%, understanding that if %ou.$e completed the process to the best of %our conscious understanding, fine.... If %ou ha$ent %et finished, %ouHe set into motion a process which can be completed comfortabl% outside of %our awareness as %ou return %our attention slowl% here to this room.... Now, what did I actuall% sa%I I didn.t say anythingF Oero. )here was no content to that $erbali2ation. ")o do something of importance for %ourself... certain learnings... unconscious

understanding from that

Goman7 Gh% do %ou ha$e to integrate the negati$e anchor, instead of #ust ignoring it altogetherI ots of people go to h%pnotists to stop smoking. )he h%pnotist h%pnoti2es them and sa%s "1rom this point on, cigarettes will taste terrible." And he wakes them up and sends them awa%, rightI )he% don.t smoke an% more because it tastes terrible. =owe#er, that lea$es them with a whole set of dissociated motor patterns. It.s the same with alcoholics. Alcoholics Anon%mous sa%s "'nce an alcoholic, alwa%s an alcoholic." )hat.s a statement to me that their program fails to integrate motor programs which can still be triggered at a later date b% the presence of alcohol. (o all it takes is one drink and the% ha$e to continuebinge drinkingor one cigarette later on and boom/ that person is a smoker again. Dissociated motor patterns can alwa%s be triggered unless %ou integrate them. If %ou dissociate and sort someone, make sure %ou put them back together. Don.t lea$e those dissociated motor patterns l%ing around. )hat.s one of %our professional responsibilities. !eople ha$e enough dissociations on their own alread%. )he% don.t need more. 6an7 ,a$e %ou e$er worked with multiple personalitiesI
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:;@ specific eFperience in %our past." None of those ha$e an% content. )hose are pure process instructions. And if %ou ha$e the sensor% eFperience, %ou can see the process happening as %ou do it. )hat is where %our timing is #ery important. et me gi$e %ou a $er% different eFperience. I.d like %ou to close %our e%es and $isuali2e a rope... which is green. ,ow man% of %ou alread% had a different colored ropeI If I gi$e %ou instructions that ha$e an% content whatsoe$er, as I #ust did, I am $er%, $er% apt to $iolate %our internal eFperience. I will no longer be pacing %ou ade"uatel%. A skill that all communicators need is the abilit% to gi$e process instructions7 instructions that ha$e no content whatsoe$er. )hat.s the sense in which I mentioned earlier that Ericksonian h%pnosis is the least manipulati$e of all the forms of ps%chotherap% I.$e e$er been eFposed to. In an% communication with content there.s no wa% for %ou to not introduce %our own beliefs and $alue s%stems b% presupposition. ,owe$er, if %ou restrict %ourself to process work, to content0free $erbali2ations with %our clients, %ou are guaranteeing that %ou are respecting their integrit%. If %ou do secret therap% there.s no wa% that %ou can interfere with their beliefs or $alue s%stem because %ou dont know what the% are. Eou dont ha$e an% idea what the% are doing, and there.s no need for %ou to, either.

6ultiple personalit% is a little bit complicated, because it depends upon who messed the person up in the first place. Eou reall% need to know the model of the therapist that wrecked the person to begin with. I ha$e ne$er personall% met a multiple personalit% that wasn.t made by a therapist. )hat doesn.t mean the% don.t eFist, it.s #ust that I.$e ne$er met one. 6% guess is that there might be a few out there somewhere, but I.ll tell %ou there aren.t as man% as therapists keep creating and bringing to me. Ge became interested in multiple personalities %ears ago, and wrote to a man who had written a big paper about it. ,e in$ited us to come and meet one named ,elen. (he had about twent% personalities, but the co$er name for e$er%one was ,elen. And the fascinating thing was that all of her multiple personalities were more interesting than she was. ,er therapist had a $er% elaborate model of her personalities. (he had an organi2ation part7 a part that was $er% organi2ed and did secretarial work and all kinds of stuff like that. (o I said "Gell, get that one for me." )he therapist had this great non0$erbal analogue7 he stood up and shouted "&'E+E/ +'6E 'D), &'E+E/"and he hit her on the forehead, -wamm/ and she went through all these changes. -rrnnnggnhhh/ It was right out of the mo$iesC it was reall% spook%. )his gu% does eForcisms on the helicopter pad at a +atholic college, and he.s considered to be a respectable ps%chiatrist b% people who think we are

weirdB In some wa%s he.s $er% effecti$e because he is so eFpressi$e, but I don.t think he understands the full ramifications of what he is doing. ,e has an%where from siFteen to twent%0 two multiple personalities in his practice at an% time, and he can.t understand wh% the rest of the therapeutic communit% doesn.t recogni2e the epidemic of multiple personalities that he has disco$ered/ (o the organi2ation part of this woman came out, and I introduced m%self. )hen I said "6ost of these parts ha$e amnesia for what goes on in this person.s life. -eing the organi2ation part, I figure %ou would ha$e kept prett% good track of it all." "'h, %es, of course I kept good track of it." I said "Gell, how did %ou end up with so man% personalitiesI" And she said to me "It.s as if there were a whole bunch of different parts and there was a round peg that went through the middle. And when I met Dr. (o0and0so, he took the peg and pulled it out." )hat is almost $erbatim what she said to me, and this is a woman who does not ha$e a high school education. (he didn.t think that this was bad, b% the wa%. ,er description was :;9 that he pulled the peg out so that the% all became more apparent as separate personalities, and now the% were going to go back through and make them all into one again. )he tragic thing is that when he succeeded in integrating her, she had total amnesia for her entire life, and was a drip as far as I could tell. (he had these great parts. (he had a seF% part that was #ust rrrnnnhhhl Another part told #okes and was reall% corn%. Another part was $er% sh% and co%. -ut when he "cured" her, she had amnesia for her entire life and she had none of the resources of an% of those parts. (he was #ust dull. Now I don.t think that %ou can wipe out parts. (o I kept mentioning the names of the parts that I liked, and I got reall% great unconscious responses from her. )he% were still there, but the% weren.t full% a$ailable to her. )o do a good #ob with a multiple personalit%, I think %ou need to know the model of the therapist that created it. (ome therapists. model of multiple personalit% is that %ou ha$e all these parts and an unconscious that runs the program. )hat.s one model, a $er% common one. )he wa% %ou.d integrate that one is totall% different than %ou would some other model. )his gu%.s model was that there were three parts here and the% had their own unconscious, and then there were two parts o$er here and the% had an unconscious, and then there was an unconscious for these two unconsciouses, and so on. It was reall% stacked in le$els. Ghen %ou integrated, %ou would alwa%s ha$e to integrate at the same logical le$el. 6% guess is that he didn.t do that, and that is how he got so much amnesia. Eou can use what we call the "$isual s"uash" with multiple personalities. )he $isual s"uash is a $isual method of integration using $isual anchors. Eou hold out %our hands and see %ourself as one part here on %our left, and as another part here on %our right, and %ou watch them and listen to them. )hen %ou slowl% pull the two images together, and $isuall% watch them merge together and then notice how that image is different. If %ou like it, then %ou do the same thing again kinestheticall%, and s"uash the two images together with %our hands. )hen %ou pull the integrated image into %our bod%. Ge #ust stumbled across this. At first it sounded kind of weird, until we studied a little bit about neurolog%. It.s a good metaphor for what goes on in the metaphor called "neurolog%." And if %ou don.t think neurolog% is a metaphor, %ou are nai$e, I want to tell %ou/ -ut an%wa%, their metaphor and our metaphor were $er% similar. And if %ou tr% it, it.s $er% dramatic. It.s a $er% powerful method. I once cured a multiple personalit% with only that. I went through all the le$els one b% one and s"uashed all the personalities together. I once had a therapist call me on the telephone from the 6idwest. ,e said he.d read m% book
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and there was nothing in it about multiple personalities, and he didn.t e$en belie$e in them, but one had #ust come into his office and what should he doI I went through the instructions on the phone with him for fort% minutes and cured his patient o$er the telephone. "'*, now tell her to hold out both hands. )ell her to $isuali2e &ane in her right hand and $isuali2e 6ar% in her left hand. &ust take two of them and collapse them together into one image. And then tell her to pull it into her bod% and integrate it. )hen tell her to get the integrated image that she #ust had, and put it together with another one." (o %ou do them one at a time. 6ost people don.t reall% ask multiple personalities an% "uestions. -ut I reall% "uestioned the ones that I.$e been around, to find out how the% functioned. )he eFperience of being multiple for one ma% be $er% different than it is for another. 'ne of the women that I worked with described e$er% single one of her parts as part of the same process. (he was reall%, reall% $isualC she had a picture of them all. )here was a couch backstage, in the back of her mind, and all these women sat back there on the couch doing their nails and chatting. E$er% once in a while, one of them would hop up and walk through the curtains. Ghen k walked through, it would step into her bod%. (ome of them knew about what the other ones did, because the% would go and peek out through the curtains. I h%pnoti2ed her and went backstage with her and did the $isual s"uash techni"ue and put them all together. )hat $isual s"uash method is a $er% powerful wa% of integrating se"uential incongruities b% making them simultaneous in a dissociated state. If %ou ha$e a se"uential incongruit%, %ou can ne$er represent both parts simultaneousl% in an% s%stem other than the $isual, as far as I can tell. It takes a $er% compleF auditor% representation to ha$e two $oices going on at the same timeas opposed to alternatingand people can.t pull it off kinestheticall%. -ut %ou can take se"uential incongruities and make them simultaneous b% $isualJkinesthetic dissociation, and then integrate them b% pulling the hands together, and then get the integration in the other two s%stems. I don.t understand the significance of mo$ing the arms when %ou do the $isual s"uash, but if %ou do it without the arms it doesn.t work. And I ha$e no idea wh%. I.$e tried it both wa%sC if people don.t actuall% hold :B: out their hands in front of them like this and pull the images together, it doesn.t work. !eople don.t ha$e to hold out their hands to get cured of phobias, but apparentl% with multiple personalities the% ha$e to. )hat doesn.t make an% sense to me logicall%, but it happens to be the case. If I were to make a generali2ation, I would make the re$erse one. -ut I ha$e found out that.s the case in eFperience. Ge are a lot more willing to eFperiment against our intuitions than most people. Ghen most people ha$e a strong intuition, the%.ll follow it. A lot of times when we ha$e a strong intuition, we.ll $iolate it to find out what will happenespeciall% when we ha$e clients that we ha$e ongoing contact with, and can be sure of being able to deal with the conse"uences. )hat kind of eFperimentation has resulted in man% useful patterns and disco$eries. 'ne woman had been a homoseFual for %ears, and had fallen in lo$e with a man. (he was reall% stuck in this dilemma. A $er% strong part of her now wanted to become heteroseFual. )here was another part of her that was afraid it was going to ha$e to die. (he was going through the $isual s"uash with these two parts. (he was tr%ing to pull her hands together, and she was wailing "I can.t do it/ I can.t do it/ I can.t do it like that/" 3ichard and I were standing on either side of her. Ge looked at each other, and then we each grabbed one hand and pushed them together suddenl%. )he changes that occurred in that woman were fantastic/ Eou can create change without being elegantC I think people do it all the time. ,owe$er, the ramifications of doing something like that are not predictable, and predictabilit% is something that we ha$e alwa%s tried to de$elop. Ge #ust went blammo, pow/ and rammed it in. (he did changeC she got what she wanted, and it.s lasted a long timeC I.m sure of that because I still know that woman. ,owe$er, I don.t know what the side effects were. (he isn.t totall% wonderful in

man% areas of her life, and I don.t know how much of that is a conse"uence of what we did. (he.s certainl% better off than she was. And at the time we reall% wanted to know what would happen. Ghen %ou start including more sophisticated ingredients in %our work and tinkering with them carefull%, then %ou get better, more elegant changes. Eou can also predict what will happen much more precisel%. (ometimes %ou get much more per$asi$e change, too, which I think is $er% important. If %ou can do #ust one little tin% thing and get the outcome that %ou want, it will also generali2e and get all the other outcomes that are reall% needed but ha$en.t been mentioned. )he less :B; %ou do in the more appropriate place, the more generali2ation to other contents and conteFts will occur naturall%. )hat.s one reason wh% we stress elegance so much7 "-e precise, if %ou.re doing therap%." If %ou.re #ust doing utili2ation skills it.s a $er% different game. -usiness people are usuall% onl% interested in utili4ing strategies. If %ou are doing sales training, then all %ou need to know is what strategies %ou want %our salespeople to ha$e, and how to install them. If the trainer for an organi2ation is a Neuro inguistic !rogrammer, then he sa%s "'*, we.re going to ha$e this person be a salesperson and the%.re going to do this, and in order to do that, %ou ha$e to ha$e these three strategies." )hen he can stick them in and block them off so that nothing else gets in their wa%. )hose strategies don.t ha$e to generali2e an%where else in the person.s life. It.s not necessar% for that business outcome. It might be desirable, but it.s not necessar%. If somebod%.s personal life is reall% interrupting their business functioning, %ou can put a barrier around it to keep those strategies separate. )here are a lot of different kinds of outcomes %ou.re going to ha$e as a business person, but the%.re fairl% limited. As a law%er, for eFample, %ou.re mostl% #ust utili4ing strategiesC %ou.re not concerned with installing an%thing. Eou.re onl% concerned with using a strateg% to get a specific outcome7 to make a witness look like a #erk, or to get %our client to trust %ou, or something like that. I once did some work with a law%er who is a trustworth% person, but nobod% trusts him. ,is non0$erbal analogues are terribleC the% make e$er%one suspicious. ,is problem was that he couldn.t get clients to confide in him so that he could represent them well. And half the time he was court0appointed, which made it e$en worse. Ghat he reall% needed was a complete o$erhaul in his analogue s%stem. 3ather than do that, I taught him a little ritual. ,e sits down with his client and sa%s " ook, if I.m going to be %our law%er, it.s essential that %ou trust me. And so the "uestion that.s reall% important is how do %ou decide if %ou trust somebod%I" ,e asks ",a$e %ou e$er reall% trusted an%bod% in %our lifeI" and he sets up an anchor when the client accesses that feeling of trust. )hen he asks ",ow did %ou make that decisionI" )hen all he has to do is to listen to a general description of their strateg%7 "Gell, I saw this, and I heard him sa% this, and I felt this." )hen he presents information back in that format7 "Gell, as I sit here, I want %ou to see blah blah blah, and then I sa% to %ourself blahdeblah blah, and I don.t know if %ou can feel this," and fires off the anchor that he made when the person had the trusting feelings. I taught him that ritual and it was good enough. :BB -ut there is a real difference between that outcome and the outcome that %ou.re working toward as a therapist. )herap% is a much more technical business in the sense of changing things. As a therapist %ou don.t need to be nearl% as fleFible in terms of utili2ation as somebod% who.s a law%er. A law%er must be a master of the art of utili2ation. Eou need to be able to do man% different things in terms of eliciting responses. Eou ha$e to get twel$e people to respond the same wa%. )hink about that. Imagine that %ou had twel$e clients, and %ou had to get them all to agree when %ou weren.t in the room/ )hat.s going to take skill. 'ne thing %ou can do is to identif% the one or two indi$iduals, or se$eral, on the #ur% who might, b% $irtue of their own strategies, persuade the others to go along. And of course

that is what famil% therap% is all about. E$er%thing is going to interact in a s%stem. I dont care who %ou put together for what length of time, the s%stems are going to start clicking. I tr% to figure out who in the famil% elicits responses the most often. -ecause if I can get that one person to do m% work for me, it will be reall% eas%. Her% often it.s someone who doesn.t speak much. (on here sa%s something. ,e has eFternal beha$ior. And when he does, %ou get an intense internal response from the mother. Although her eFternal beha$ior is subtle, some little cue, e#erybody responds to it. Ghen the father does something with eFternal beha$ior, this kid responds, but not much else happens. And if the daughter does something, ma%be we get a response here and ma%be there. I want to know who e#erybody else in the famil% responds to a lot. I also want to know if an% one single person in that famil% can alwa%s get that person to respond. et.s sa% e$er% single time the son does an%thing with eFternal beha$ior, the mother responds. If I can predict something about how that happens, I can make one little change in the son, and then the mother will respond and get e$er%bod% else in the famil% to respond for me. I alwa%s spend fift% percent or more of whate$er time is allotted to me gathering information, and testing it to make sure that I.m right. ::: feed in an innocuous thing here, and predict what will happen o$er there. I keep running the s%stem o$er and o$er and o$er again until I.m absolutel% sure that if I make a change with this kid, it.s going to change the mother.s beha$ior in a wa% that will change all the other people in the famil%. )hat will set up a new stable s%stem. 'therwise %ou usuall% get an unbalanced s%stem, or the% change in the office but the% go home and go back to normal. I want something that.s reall% going to carr% o$er and be $er%, $er% permanent. :B> If I can set up a stable s%stem b% making onl% one change, it will be $er% per$asi$e with a famil% s%stem. I think the main mistake of all famil% therapists is that the% do too much in a session. If %ou.re working with an indi$idual, %ou can do a thousand things and get awa% with it, unless the% go home to a famil%. 'ne of the first things I alwa%s ask people when the% come in is "Ghat is %our li$ing situationI" because I want to know how man% anchors I ha$e to deal with at home. If the% li$e with one other person, it.s not so bad. EouHe #ust got to be careful that there.s no secondar% gain7 that the% don.t get rewarded for whate$er beha$ior it is the% want to change. 6an7 ,ow much dependenc% on %ou is created b% %our methodsI 'ne of the things we stri$e for in our work is to make sure that we use transference and counter0 transference powerfull% to get rapport, and then to make sure that we don!t use it after that. Ge don.t need it after that. And since the% don.t get to sit there and tell us their problems, we don.t become their best companion. )here are real risks in doing content therap% because %ou ma% become someone.s closest friend. )hen the% end up pa%ing mone% to hang out with %ou because no one else is willing to sit around and listen to them dri$el about unpleasant things in their life. Ge don.t get much dependenc%. 1or one thing, we ha$e a tool that we teach our clients to use with themsel$es, called reframing, which we are going to teach %ou tomorrow. If %ou ask the people who were up here for demonstration purposes, m% guess is the% would assign $er% little responsibilit% to us for the changes that occurred in themmuch less than the% would in traditional content0oriented therap%. )hat.s one of the ad$antages of secret therap%. It doesn.t create that kind of dependenc% relationship. At the same time, people who work with us usuall% ha$e a sense of trustC the% know that we know what we are doing. 'r the% ma% be totall% infuriated with us, but the% are still getting the changes the% want. And of course we work $er% "uickl%, and that reduces the possibilit% of dependenc%. In our actual pri$ate practice, which is se$erel% reduced now because we.re mo$ing into other areas of modeling, we tell stories. A person will come in and I don.t want them to tell me an%thing. I #ust tell them stories. )he use of metaphor is a whole set of ad$anced patterns which

is associated with what we.$e done so far. Eou can learn about those in Da$id Gordon.s eFcellent bookr Therapeutic ,etaphors. I prefer metaphor artisticall%. I don.t ha$e to listen to client.s woes, and I get to tell $er% entertaining stories. +lients are usuall% bewildered or infuri0 :BA ated b% pa%ing me mone% to listen to stories. -ut the changes the% want occur an%wa%no thanks to me, of course, which is fine. )hat.s another wa% to make sure there is no dependenc%. Eou do things so co$ertl% that the% don.t ha$e the faintest idea what %ou are doing, and the changes the% want occur an%wa%. Is there an%bod% here who has been to see 6ilton EricksonI ,e told I %ou stories, rightI Did %ou find that siF months, eight months, or a %ear later %ou were going through changes that were somehow associated S with those stories that he was tellingI 6an7 Ees. )hat.s the t%pical report. (iF months later people suddenl% notice I the%.$e changed and the% don.t ha$e an% idea how that happened, and I then the% get a memor% of 6ilton talking about the farm up in Gisconsin or something. Ghen %ou were with Erickson did %ou ha$e the eFperience of being slightl% disoriented, fascinated and entranced b% the man.s languageI 6an7 I was bored. 6ilton uses boredom as one of his ma#or weapons. If 6ilton were here, one thing he might do is bore %ou to tears. (o %ou.d all drift off into da%dreams and then he has %ou. I get bored too "uickl% m%self to use that as a tactic. 6ilton, sitting in a wheelchair and being se$ent%0siF %ears old, doesn.t mind spending a lot of time doing that. And he does it eF"uisitel%. Ge ha$e, during these da%s together, succeeded brilliantl% in completel% o$erwhelming %our conscious resources. )his was a deliberate mo$e on our part, understanding as we do that most learning and change takes place at the unconscious le$el. Ge ha$e appealed eFplicitl% to each of both of %ou, that %our unconscious minds would make a useful representation necessar% for %our education, so that in the weeks and da%s and months ahead %ou can be delightfull% surprised b% new patterns occurring in %our beha$ior. And we suggest to %our unconscious mind that %ou make use of the natural processes of sleep and dreaming, to re$iew an% eFperiences that ha$e occurred during these two da%s, and sort out those things that %our unconscious belie$es will be useful for %ou to know, making a useful representation at the unconscious le$el, meanwhile allowing %ou to sleep deepl% and soundl%, so that in the da%s and weeks and months to come, %ou can disco$er %ourself doing things that %ou didn.t know %ou learned about here, so as to constantl% increase, at the unconscious le$el, %our repertoire in responding to people who come to %ou for :B< assistance.... And %ou didn.t e$en know the% were there. Not at all. )he last time that I went to see 6ilton Erickson, he said something to me. And as I was sitting there in front of him, it didn.t make sense. 6ost of his co$ert metaphors ha$e made... eons of sense to me. -ut he said something to me which would ha$e taken me a while to figure out. 6ilton said to me "Eou don.t consider %ourself a therapist, but %ou are a therapist." And I said "Gell, not reall%." ,e said "Gell, let.s pretend ... that %ou.re a therapist who works with people. )he most important thing ... when %ou.re pretending this ... is to understand... that %ou are really not.... Eou are #ust pretending.... And if %ou pretend reall% well, the people that %ou work with will pretend to make changes. And the% will forget that the% are pretending... for the rest of their li$es. -ut don.t %ou be fooled b% it." And then he looked at me and he said7 "Goodb%e."

Ill

$inding 5ew Ways


)here are se$eral organi2ing assumptions that we use to put oursel$es in a state which we find useful to operate in as we do therapeutic kinds of work. 'ne is that it.s better to ha$e choice than no choice, and another is the notion of unconscious choice. Another is that people alread% ha$e the resources the% need in order to change, if the% can be helped to ha$e the appropriate resources in the appropriate conteFt. A fourth one is that each and e$er% single piece of beha$ior has a positi$e function in some conteFt. It would be wanton and irresponsible of us simpl% to change people.s beha$ior without taking into account a $er% important notion called "secondar% gain." Ge assume that the pattern of beha$ior somebod% is displa%ing is the most appropriate response the% ha$e in the conteFtno matter how bi2arre or inappropriate it seems to be. )he conteFt that %our clients are responding to is usuall% composed of about nine parts of internal eFperience and about one part of eFternal. (o when a piece of beha$ior looks or sounds bi2arre or inappropriate to %ou, that.s a good signal that a large portion of the conteFt that the person is responding to is something that is not a$ailable to %ou in %our immediate sensor% eFperience. )he% are responding to someone or something else internall% represented7 mother, father, historical e$ents, etc. And often that internal repre0 sentation is out of consciousness. inda and )amm% can $erif% that the responses that the% changed when the% came and worked with us here, were responses to e$ents that occurred sometime in the past.
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)hat shouldn.t surprise an% of %ou. I.m sure that %ou all ha$e been through eFperiences that support that statement. 'ur specific response to that understanding is to reali2e that all of us are compleF and balanced organisms. 'ne wa% to take that compleFit% into account when %ou go about assisting someone in making some change, is b% using a pattern that we call refraining. 3eframing is a specific wa% of contacting the portion or partfor lack of a better wordof the person that is causing a certain beha$ior to occur, or that is pre$enting a certain other beha$ior from occurring. Ge do this so that we can find out what the secondar% gain of the beha$ior is, and take care of that as an integral part of the process of inducing a change in that area of beha$ior. )his is best illustrated b% an eFample. A woman came to us referred b% a ps%chiatrist. (he wanted to lose >A pounds. (he had lost this weight in the past, but e$er% time she lost it, she regained it. (he could get it off, but she couldn.t 3eep it off. Ge disco$ered through refraining that there was no part of her that had an% ob#ection to her losing weight. ,owe$er, the part of her that caused her to o$ereat was doing that in order to protect her marriage. +an %ou make that connectionI If %ou can.t, let me eFplain a little further. In the opinion of this part of the woman who was o$erweight, if she were to lose the weight and weigh what she wanted to weigh, she would be ph%sicall% attracti$e to men. If she were ph%sicall% attracti$e to.men, she would be approached and propositioned. In the opinion of this part she did not ha$e ade"uate resources to make good decisions for herself in response to those propositions. (he wasnt able to sa% "No.")here was no part of her that wanted her to be o$erweight. )here was, howe$er, a part of her that used her being o$erweight to institutionali2e the choice of not ha$ing to cope with a situation that it belie$ed she couldn.t cope with effecti$el%, and that might lead to the end of her marriage. )his is known as "secondar% gain." )he heart of refraining is to make the distinction between the intention<in this case to protect her marriage, and the beha#ior<in this case o$ereating. )hen %ou can find new,

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more acceptable, beha$iors that satisf% the same intention. 'ne thing that people rarel% understand is that people.s s%mptoms wor3. As long as being fat worked and accomplished the intention, that part was going to keep her fat. Ghen it had better wa%s of protecting her marriage, then it could allow her to lose the weight, which in fact she did without dieting. :B9 et.s demonstrate now. Gho wants to changeIsecretly.... '*, Dick, we want %ou to keep an% content to %ourself, lea$ing the people here free simpl% to obser$e the process that we go through. Either Dick is doing something now which he doesn.t ha$e a choice about, a sort of compulsi$e beha$ior which he would rather replace with something else, or there is something he would rather do but he isn.t able to do. )hose are the two $erbal wa%s of coding the world of possibilit%. Dick7 It.s the first. '*. If it.s all right with %ou, let.s gi$e the code name N to the pattern of beha$ior %ou presentl% ha$e which %ou would rather replace with something else more appropriate. And I assume that pattern N, in %our conscious #udgement, is not a good representation of %ou as a total adult organism. GeHe #ust identified the pattern, the thing the person wants to change. )hat is step one. )he neFt step is to establish communication with the part of Dick responsible for this pattern N that he wants to change. Embedded in this conteFt is a notion that I will state directl% to him and that I want to point out to the rest of %ou as well. Dick, I ha$e respect for the part of %ou that is responsible for pattern N occurring o$er and o$er again in %our beha$ior. Eou got here. Eou.re sitting here and %ou are successful in doing a lot of the things that %ou do in %our life. I am con$inced that the part of %ou that runs pattern Ne$en though %ou consciousl% don.t appreciate itis attempting to do something positi$e in %our behalf. I will induce no changes until the part of %ou that is responsible for running N is satisfied that the changes are more appropriate for it, as well as for %ou as a total organism. )his onl% makes sense if %ou ha$e a belief s%stem that sa%s " ook. If he had conscious control o$er this beha$ior, it would ha$e changed alread%." (o some part of him which is not conscious is running this pattern of beha$ior. I can guarantee %ou that ninet%0nine times out of a hundred when a person wants to make a change and the% come to %ou for assistance, there.s going to be a dissociation, a conflict, between their conscious desires and some unconscious set of programs. )he unconscious is far more powerful. It knows far more about his needs than his conscious mind, and far more than I could e$er possibl% know from the outside. I all% m%self immediatel% with the unconscious, and that.s what I #ust finished doing. )hat.s one wa% to accomplish that, $erball% and eFplicitl%7 " ook, I.m not talking to %our conscious mind. I.m talking to the part of %ou responsible for this pattern of beha$ior. It.s going to run the show. I.m going to ser$e as its consultant." Now how do %ou communicate with that partI If %ou had to go to the 1ederal -uilding in (an 1rancisco and get someone to sign a paper, %ou.d be faced with a $er% compleF task. -ecause out of the >A8 people in that building, there.s onl% one of them whom %ou need to get to. If %ou were to adopt the strateg% of searching for the one person whose signature %ou need b% stopping at the door and talking to the guard and asking if he.ll sign it, and then mo$ing down the hallwa%, office after office, searching for the person who is authori2ed to sign, %ou.d waste a great deal of time. It would be an inefficient strateg% for %ou to use to get what %ou want in that bureaucratic setting. )hat.s a reall% close metaphor for a lot of the work that therapists do. )herapists ha$e been trained to pa% a great deal of attention to the conscious re"uests of their
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clients. )%picall% the conscious mind is the one that knows the least about what.s going on in their beha$ior. )he fact that a person would come into m% office and sa% to me "I.m N0ing and I no longer want to do thatC help me make a change," is a statement to me that he.s alread% tried to make the change with all the resources that he can get to consciousl% and he.s failed miserabl%. It seems as absurd as beginning with the guard and working %our wa% through e$er% office, for me to engage his conscious mind in a discussion of these possibilities. I want to go directl% to the office where the person who can sign that paper is residing. I want to go directl% to the part of Dick which is controlling his beha$ior at the unconscious le$el in this conteFt. I also make the assumption that the part of %ou that makes %ou N e$en though %ou don.t like that consciousl%is doing something on %our behalf, something that benefits %ou in some wa%. I don.t know what that is, and from %our response %ou consciousl% don.t know what it is, because %ou want to stop it. (o let.s establish contact with that part officiall%. )his is step two. It.s alread% happened, but let.s do it officiall%. Dick, do %ou know how to use words to talk to %ourself on the insideI '*. Ghat I.d like %ou to do is to go inside in a moment and ask a "uestion. I.ll tell %ou what the "uestion is. Eour #ob, after %ou.$e asked this "uestion, is simpl% to attend to an% changes %ou sense in %our bod% sensations, an% kinesthetic changes, an% images, or an% sounds that occur in response to the "uestion. Eou don.t ha$e to tr% to influence this in an% wa%. )he :>: part of %ou responsible for this pattern will make its needs known through one of those sensor% channels. Eou #ust ha$e to be sensiti$e to detect the response. )he "uestion I would like %ou to ask is "Gill the part of me responsible for pattern N communicate with me in consciousnessI" And then simpl% notice what happensan% change of feelings, images, or sounds. Eour #ob out there, while Dick is doing this, is to obser$e him and alwa%s get the answer to the "uestion I ha$e him ask before he gi$es it to us. And %ou alread% ha$e it. )hat.s reall% t%pical. Ge talked the other da% about meta0commenting as a choice in communication. )his is one conteFt in which I strongl% recommend that %ou do not meta0comment, unless %ou simpl% want to shake somebod% up. If %ou can alwa%s get the answer before %our client does, %ou ha$e a reall% powerful direct channel of communication to their unconscious, outside of their awareness, that allows %ou to do reall% powerful congruenc% checks. If the answer that you obser$e is different from the answer they get in their awareness, that.s an important thing to know. Dick, what was %our eFperience after %ou asked the "uestionI Dick7 +onfusion. '*. "+onfusion" is a nominali2ation. It.s not eFperienceC it.s a conscious #udgement about eFperience. It.s irrele$ant to talk about his conscious #udgements because he.s alread% done the best he can with his conscious resources, and it hasn.t worked. Ge need to work with eFperience. Ghat was %our eFperience that %ou labeled "confusion"I ,ow did %ou know %ou were confusedI Dick7 1lushing. (o %ou felt a flushing, a change in blood pressure. Gas there a temperature change that went along with it, or a sense of pressureI Gas it locali2ed in some part of %our bod%I Dick7 (ome of both, mostl% in m% stomach. In %our stomach. '*, now that.s a reall% elegant non0$erbal response. In doing reframing we strongl% recommend that %ou sta% with primar% representational s%stems7 feelings, pictures, or sounds. Don.t bother with words, because the% are too sub#ect to conscious interference. )he beaut% of a non0$erbal kinesthetic signal

such as this, is that it.s considered in$oluntar%. And %ou can test to be sure that it.s in$oluntar%. Dick, can %ou make that feeling of flushing happen consciousl%I Dick7 6a%be.

:>; )r%.... Dick7 No. )hat.s also a reall% good wa% to sub#ecti$el% con$ince someone that the% are communicating with a part of them that normall% is not a$ailable to them at the conscious le$el. And of course most h%pnosis and biofeedback is based on the principle that %ou can alter consciousness and gain access to parts of %our ner$ous s%stem and ph%siolog% which %ou normall% don.t ha$e access to. )he "uestion was a "%es0no" "uestionC the response was a kinesthetic change, a feeling change. Now, so far all we ha$e is a responseC we don.t know whether it means "%es" or "no" and neither does Dick, consciousl%. 'ne of the wa%s people reall% get into trouble is that the% pla% ps%chiatrist with their own parts without being "ualified. )he% interpret the messages the% get from their own parts. (o the% begin to feel something and the% name it "fear," when it ma% be some form of eFcitement, or some kind of ali$eness, or an%thing. -% naming it and then acting as if that is the case, the% misinterpret their own internal communication as easil% as the% misinterpret communication eFternall%. Ge don.t want to run that risk, and there.s an eas% wa% to be sure what that signal means. Dick, first I.d like %ou to go inside and thank the part for the communication it ga$e %ou, so that %ou $alidate that part for communicating with %ou. NeFt, sa% to it "I would like $er% much to understand %our communication. (o that I don.t misunderstand what %ou mean, if %ou are sa%ing .Ees, %ou are willing to communicate with me in consciousness,. please intensif% the same signal that %ou ga$e me beforethe flushing in the stomach. If %ou are sa%ing .NoM, %ou.re not willing to communicate with me in consciousness,. re$erse it and diminish the response." As Dick does this and %ou are watching to get the answer before he gi$es it to us, reali2e that if the signal had been a picture we would ha$e simpl% $aried the amplitude of the signal. Ge could make it brighter for "%es" and darker for "no." If it had been a sound we could ha$e asked for an increase in $olume for "%es" and a decrease for "no." In this wa% %ou a$oid the risk of consciousl% misinterpreting the meaning of $arious internal kinesthetic, $isual, or auditor% signals. It gi$es %ou a $er% clean channel of communication with the part of Dick that is responsible for the pattern of beha$ior he wants to change. And of course that.s Aust the part that knows how to make the change. )his process gi$es %ou an eFcellent opportunit% to practice seeing :>B fwhat are traditionall% called h%pnotic responses. 'ne of 6ilton Erickson.s more useful definitions of deep trance is "a limited focus of attention inward." )hat.s eFactl% what we asked Dick to do hereto limit his focus of attention to a signal which is internall% generated. And the corresponding changes in the teFture of his skin, breathing, skin color, lip si2e, etc., are all characteristic of what official h%pnotists call trance phenomena.

Dick, re#oin us back here. Ghat happenedI Dick7 I had the feelings. (o the feelings intensified. Eou got a $erification. Ge now ha$e communication with the partC we ha$e a "%es0no" signal. Ge can now ask that particular part any "uestion and get an unambiguous "%es0no" answer. Ge ha$e an internal channel of communication that Dick is running himself. Ge.re not doing it. Ge.re simpl% consulting with him about the neFt step. ,e now has established an internal channel of communication which allows him to communicate unambiguousl% with the part of him responsible for the pattern he wants to change. )hat.s all %ou need. Eou can do an%thing at this point. (tep three is to distinguish between pattern N and the intention of the part that is responsible for the pattern. Dick, this part of %ou which is responding to %ou at the unconscious le$el has a certain intention it.s tr%ing to carr% out for %ou. )he way it.s going about it is not acceptable to %ou at the conscious le$el. Now we.re going to work with that part, through %our channel of communication, to offer it better wa%s to accomplish what it.s tr%ing to do. Ghen it has better wa%s than the wa% it goes about it now, %ou can ha$e what %ou want consciousl% and this part can continue to take care of %ou in the wa% it wants to. I want %ou to go inside again and ask a "uestion. After the "uestion, be sensiti$e to the signal s%stem %ou ha$e. Go inside and ask that part "Gould %ou be willing to let me know in consciousness what %ou are tr%ing to do for me b% this pattern NI" )hen %ou wait for a "%es0 no" signal.... 4Dick smiles broadl%.5 I #ust said to ask "%es0no"C I didn.t sa% "Gi$e me the information." If %ou were attending, %ou noticed that something fairl% dramatic happened. ,e asked for a "%es0no" answer. ,e got the "%es0no" signal and he also got information about the intention in consciousness. Dick7 Ghich pleased me. Ghich pleased him and surprised him. )herap% is o$er at this point. )here is now a conscious appreciation of what this partthat has been running pattern Nhas been tr%ing to do for him at the unconscious

le$el. Dick, %ou didn.t know what it was tr%ing to do before, did %ouI Dick7 No, but I got a clue to it while %ou were talking, before I went down in. I got a feeling that it !art of our problem doing demonstrations is that after two da%s with %ou we ha$e such good rapport with %our unconscious there.s a tendenc% for %ou to do it too fast. (o now he has a conscious understanding of the intention of this part of him that has been running N. Dick, is it true that %ou would like a part of %ou to ha$e the responsibilit% of taking care of %ou in that wa%, e$en though the specific method it uses is not acceptable to %ouI Eou ma% not like the way that it goes about accomplishing pattern N, but do %ou agree that the intention is something %ou want to ha$e a part do for %ou as a personI Dick7 Ees. Now there is congruenc% between the intention of the unconscious part and the appreciation of the conscious. )hat means it.s time for step number four7 to create some new alternati$es to the pattern N that are more successful in accomplishing the intention, and that still allow consciousness to ha$e eFactl% what it wants. Ghat we.re going to do is hold the intentionthe outcome constant, and $ar% the wa%s of achie$ing that outcome until we find some better wa%s of achie$ing it, wa%s that do not come into conflict with other parts of Dick. Dick, do %ou ha$e a part of %ourself that %ou consider %our creati$e partI Dick7 ,umpf/ )he creati$e part hops out/ ",i/ ,ere I am. Ghat do %ou wantI" I hope %ou all appreciate the sense in which I said before that multiple personalit% is an e$olutionar% step. (o %ou do

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ha$e a part of %ourself that %ou consider %our creati$e part. Dick7 'h, %es. I want %ou to go inside and ask %our creati$e part if it would be willing to undertake the following task. et me eFplain it first before %ou do it. Ask it to go at the unconscious le$el to the part that runs pattern N, and find out what that part is tr%ing to do for %ou. )hen ha$e it begin to create alternati$e wa%s b% which this part of %ou can accomplish this intention. It will create :8,;8, or :888 wa%s to get that outcome, and it.s to be "uite irresponsible in this. It simpl% is to generate a lot of possible wa%s for %ou to get the outcome, without tr%ing to e$aluate which ones would reall% work. Now, out of that :>A multitude of things that it will offer, the part of %ou that.s running pattern N will e$aluate which of those wa%s it belie$es are more effecti$e than pattern N in getting what it.s been tr%ing to get for %ou. It is to select at least three wa%s that it belie$es will work at least as effecti$el% as, and hopefull% more effecti$el% than, the pattern of beha$ior it.s been using up to now to accomplish that intention. Does that make sense to %ouI Dick7 I think so. '*. Go inside and ask %our creati$e part if it would be willing to do that. Ghen it sa%s "%es," tell it to go ahead. And the wa% I would like the part of %ou to notif% %ou that it has accepted each one of the new choices is b% gi$ing %ou that feeling, that "%es" signal. Eou ma% or ma% not be conscious of what the new alternati$es are. )hat.s irrele$ant for our purposes here. Dick7 It sounds like a big assignment. Ees, it is, but thousands of people ha$e done it all o$er the world. It.s humanl% possible and %ou are a human. Eou ha$e to go inside and eFplain it to %our creati$e part and to the other part, and if the% both agree, tell them to go ahead. Ghat %ou.re going to do now is to use %our own creati$e resources to begin to reorgani2e %our beha$ior.... 4long pause5 Did %ou get %our three signals, DickI 4No.5 ,ow man% ha$e %ou gottenI 4None.5 None, %ou.$e gotten none. Gould %ou go inside and ask that same partagain "%es" or "no"if it has been presented with choices b% %our creati$e part. Ask if %our creati$e part has been presenting it choices.... 4,e nods.5 '*. )hen it has been recei$ingI Dick7 Apparentl%. (o checking at the creati$e le$el, we find creati$it% is generating lots of possibilities. '*, would %ou go inside and ask if an% of those choices that were presented were acceptable choicesI Gere an% of them more effecti$e than pattern N to accomplish what it wantsI (ome of %ou like to offer ad$ice to %our clients. An% time %ou offer ad$ice, that.s going to be less effecti$e than if %ou can throw them back, with appropriate eFplicit instructions, on their own resources to de$elop their own alternati$e wa%s. Eou are a uni"ue human being and so are %our clients. And there ma% or ma% not be o$erlap, as %ou found the first da% during that afternoon eFercise when we asked %ou to hallucinate. (ome of %ou could guess the content of %our partner.s eFperiences in a wa% that was almost unbelie$able. Gith other people, it doesn.t work at all. If %ou ha$e that incredible o$erlap, then %ou can offer useful ad$ice. )here.s nothing wrong with it, as long as %ou are sensiti$e to the response %ou are getting as %ou offer it. -ut e$en then it will be more effecti$e to throw a person back on their own resources. 4Dick shakes his head.5 '*. Eou got a "no" signal. None of the new choices are acceptable. )he creati$e part generated a lot of possible wa%s, none of which were as effecti$e as the present pattern. Now, would %ou ask that part that runs pattern N if it would go to %our creati$e part and become an ad$isor to %our creati$e part so that it can come up with better choices about how to accomplish that intentionI Ask it to eFplain what, specificall%, about the choices the creati$e part has been presenting pre$ents them from being more effecti$e wa%s of accomplishing the intention. Do
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%ou understand that instruction consciousl%, DickI '*, would %ou go inside and eFplain it to that part and then ask it"%es" or "no"if it would be willing to do thatI And if it sa%s "%es," tell it to go ahead. )his particular process differs significantl% from normal therapeutic and h%pnotic techni"ues. Ge simpl% ser$e as consultants for the person.s conscious mind. ,e does all the work himself. ,e is his own therapistC he is his own h%pnotist at the moment. Ge.re not doing an% of those things. Ge communicate directl% onl% with his consciousness and instruct it how to proceed. It.s his responsibilit% to establish and maintain effecti$e communication with the unconscious portions of him that he needs to access in order to change. 'f course, once he learns to do thatusing this as an eFamplehe can do it without us. )hat.s another ad$antage. )his process has autonom% for %our client built into it. Dick, did %ou get three signalsI Dick7 I.m not sure. '*, would %ou go inside and ask that part if it now has at least three choiceswhether or not %ou are conscious of what the% are is irrele$antwhich it finds more powerful than the old pattern N in accomplishing what it.s tr%ing to do. Again, use the same signal. It.s important to continuall% refer back to the same signal, and it.s important to get three new choices. If %ou ha$e at least three choices, %ou begin to eFercise $ariabilit% in %our beha$ior. Dick7 )hat was "%es." '*, so now he got a positi$eC it said "Ees, I ha$e at least three wa%s more effecti$e than the old pattern N," e$en though he consciousl% doesn.t know what those are. :>@ (tep fi$e is to make sure those new choices actuall% occur in his beha$ior. Dsing the same signal s%stem, Dick, we would like %ou to ask this part "(ince %ou ha$e three wa%s more effecti$e than the old pattern N, would %ou take responsibilit% for actuall% making those things occur in m% beha$ior in the appropriate conteFtI" And %ou know that the "%es" is the intensification, and the "no" is the diminishment. Is that trueI Dick7 I.m not sure that it is. '*. Ask for that part to gi$e %ou a "%es" signal before %ou begin, so that %ou know which is "%es" and which is "no." If %ou get them backwards, it.s going to mess things up a little bit. Dick7 Eeah, I ... I... I lost track. Ees. I know. )hat.s wh% I.m asking %ou to do this. &ust go inside and ask the part to gi$e %ou a "%es" signal, so that %ou know which one is "%es." Dick7 )he "%es" signal is relaFing. '*, fine. et.s back up a bit. Go back inside and ask the part if it agrees that these choices will work more effecti$el% than N. Dick7 )hat was "%es." 1ine. Now ask that part if it would be willing to accept the responsibilit% for generating the three new choicesinstead of pattern Nfor a period of, sa%, siF weeks to tr% them out. Dick7 "Ees." (tep siF, in m% opinion, is what makes this model for change reall% elegant. )he ecological check is our eFplicit recognition that Dick here, and each one of us, is a reall% compleF and balanced organism. 1or us to simpl% make a change in pattern N and not take into account all the repercussions in other parts of his eFperience and beha$ior would be foolhard%. )his is a wa% of building in a protection against that. Ge would like %ou to thank this part for all the work it has done. It.s got what it needsC it.s alread% satisfied with that. Now we want to find out if an% other parts ha$e input to this process. Ask "Is there an% other part of me that has an% ob#ection to the new choices that are going to occurI" )hen be sensiti$e to an% response in an% s%stem7 feelings, pictures, or sounds....

'*, %ou.$e got a response. AndI Dick7 )he% ha$e no ob#ections, ,ow do %ou know thatI )his is important. I asked %ou to attend to all s%stems. Eou came back and said "No. )here.s no ob#ection." ,ow do %ou know there.s no ob#ectionI

Dick7 I felt no tension an%where. Eou felt no tension. Gere there an% changes %ou could detect either in %our kinesthetics or $isuall% or auditoril%I Dick7 Gell, the relaFation. A relaFation. '*, that was an o$erall bod% relaFation. &ust to be sure, #ust to check for congruenc%, thank whate$er part made %our bod% relaF. And then ask "If this means no ob#ection, relaF me e$en further. If there is an% ob#ection, make some tension occur." Again, all we are doing is $ar%ing the signal for "%es" or "no." It.s arbitrar% whether %ou go "Ees for positi$e increase, No for diminish," or the re$erse. It doesn.t matter. Dick7 I.m getting some ob#ection. '*. Ghat eFactl% was %our eFperienceI Gere there changes in muscle tensionI Dick7 Ees, around m% e%es. '*. Ghene$er %ou get a response to a general in"uir%, it.s important to check and be absolutel% sure what that response means. )hank that part for the response of tension in the muscles around %our e%es. Ask for an increase for "%es" and a decrease for "no" to the "uestion7 "Do %ou ob#ect to the new alternati$esI"... Dick7 )here was a decrease. It.s slightl% unusual to ha$e the tension here. )%picall% at the ecological check almost e$er%bod%.s freart speeds up. 6ost people associate a speeded0up heart rate with fear or anFiet%. Ghen I ask them to stop hallucinating and simpl% ask for an increase for "%es" and a decrease for "no," the heart rate usuall% slows down. 6% understanding of this is that it.s simpl% a signal that some part of them is "uite eFcited about what.s going on. Dick7 I was also aware of a pulsating in m% hands, but the e%e tension seemed more dramaticall% different than the hand sensations, so that.s wh% I mentioned the e%e tension. '*, let.s check this, too. )his time go in and thank the part that ga$e %ou the hand signals. )hen ask the same "uestion "Do %ou ha$e an% ob#ectionsI" and ask for an increase for "%es" and a decrease for "no." Dick7 Decrease in sensation. Decrease, so that part also doesn.t ha$e an ob#ection. If there had been an ob#ection at this point, %ou would simpl% rec%cle back to step three. Eou ha$e a new "%es0no" signalthe pulsating in the hands. Now %ou make a distinction between this part.s ob#ection and its :>9 intention. Eou continue c%cling through this process until %ou ha$e integrated all ob#ections. Ge usuall% hold the first set of three choices constant and ask an% part that ob#ects to find alternati$e wa%s of doing what it needs to do without interfering with the first set of choices. -ut %ou could also ask both parts to form a committee and go to the creati$e part and select new alternati$es that are acceptable to both. )he ecological check is $er% important. 6an% of %ou ha$e done elegant work, and the client is congruent in %our office. Ghen he lea$es, another part of him emerges which has concerns that are conteFtuall% bound. Ghen he gets home, suddenl% he doesn.t ha$e access to what he had in %our office or in the group. )here are other parts of him that know that if he goes home and simpl% changes in the wa% that he was going to change, he would lose the friendship of this person, or blow that relationship, or something like that. )his is a wa% of checking to make sure that there are no parts whose positi$e contribution to him will be interfered with b% the new pattern of beha$ior. 'f course the onl% real check is in

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eFperience, but this is a wa% of doing the best %ou can to make sure that the new choices will work. '*, now, Dick, what happens if siF or se$en weeks from now, %ou disco$er %ourself doing the old pattern of beha$ior NI Ghat are %ou # supposed to do, thenI ... Eou can accept that as a signal that the new choices that %ou came up with were not ade"uate to satisf% the intention. And %ou can go back to %our creati$e part and gi$e it instructions to come up with three more choices. )he pattern of beha$ior is a barometer of how effecti$e the new choices are. If the old beha$ior emerges after a test period, it.s a statement that the new choices were not more effecti$e than the old pattern. It.s a signal for %ou to return to this process and create better choices. 3egression to pre$ious beha$ior isn.t a signal of failure, it.s a signal of incompetenc%, and %ou need to go back and fiF it. "efraining will wor3. I guarantee his beha$ior will change. @f his beha$ior changes back, that.s a signal that the new kinds of beha$ior were not as effecti$e at getting something for him as the old pattern. )hen he goes back through the process, finds out what other secondar% gain is in$ol$ed, and creates new wa%s to take care of that as well. If %ou don.t eFplicitl% make the s%mptom a signal to negotiate, the person.s conscious mind. will call it a "failure" if the s%mptom comes :A8 back. Ghen the s%mptom is identified as a signal, the client begins to pa% attention to it as a message. It probabl% alwa%s was a message an%wa%, but the% ne$er thought about it that wa%. -% doing this, the% begin to ha$e a feedback mechanism. )he% disco$er that the% onl% get the signal at certain times. 1or eFample, somebod% comes in with migraine headaches and I reframe, and all parts are happ%, and the client goes along for two weeks and e$er%thing.s fine. )hen the% are in a particular conteFt and suddenl% the% get a headache. )hat headache triggers off the instruction that the negotiations weren.t ade"uate. )he person can drop inside and ask "Gho.s unhapp%I Ghat does this meanI" If a part sa%s "Eou.re not standing up for %ourself like %ou promised to,"then the% are faced with a simple choice of ha$ing a migraine headache or standing up for themsel$es. I had a woman who got such se$ere migraine headaches that she was flat on her back. )here was a part of her that wanted to be able to pla% e$er% so often, and if it wasn.t going to get to pla%, then the other parts weren.t going to get to do anythingB Ghacko/ It would gi$e her a headache. (o she made an arrangement that she would spend a defined amount of time in pla%ing acti$ities. After the session, when the weekend came and it was time to pla%, she decided to do her taFes instead/ )hat part #ust laid her out. (he called on the phone and said "Gell, I didn.t keep up m% end of the bargain, and I got another migraine headache. Ghat should I doI" I said "Don.t ask meC ask the part. It.s not m% problem. 6% head doesn.t hurt." (o she went in and found out what she was supposed to do. )hat part said "Go out, get in the car, and go somewhere and ha$e fun or elseB? As soon as she got in the car, the headache was gone. (o her headache no longer became something that was a burdenC it became an indicator that she had better respond. (he learned that getting a headache was a signal to go out and ha$e some fun. '*. An% "uestions about the process we went through with DickI Goman7 Am I understanding that Dick doesn.t need to be aware of what those choices areI Ge prefer that he not be. )hat could #ust get in his wa%. Goman7 Dick, %ou.re not aware of %our three alternati$es specificall%I Dick7 I.m not. In some wa%s I feel a failure because of it, %ou know, because I can.t thin3 it. Goman7 Gell, how does he know he has themI :A: ,e got a signal from his unconscious, namel% the kinesthetic feeling of relaFation. ,e doesn.t

consciousl% know what the new alternati$es are. Dick7 -ut it feels '* down here. ,is unconscious mind knows what the% are, and that.s all that counts. )hat.s the one that runs the show in this area of beha$ior, an%wa%. et.s make a demonstration for %our purposes here. Gould %ou go inside, Dick, and ask this same part down here, using the same "%es0no" signal, if it would be willing to allow %our conscious mind to know what one of those new choices is, #ust as a demonstration to %ou that it knows things that %ou don.t. )his is called a con$incer. It.s wholl% irrele$ant for the process of change, but it can settle people.s conscious minds a little bit. Dick7 ,e won.t do it And rightfull% so. If I were Dick.s unconscious mind, I wouldn.t tell him either. ,e.d tr% to interfere. Ghat did he do earlierI ,is unconscious part wouldn.t release specific information, and he immediatel% had a feeling of failure/ I wouldn.t communicate with his conscious mind if it were going to beha$e like that either. It.s #ust as con$incing to ha$e %our unconscious sa% "No, I won.t tell %ou what an% of the new choices are," if it.s an in$oluntar% signal. 3ightI Dick7 3ight. Now let me mention in passing the paradoFical nature of the re"uest that we made in step two. )he "uestion is "Gould %ou be willing to communicate with me in consciousnessI" Any signal that he detects has to be a response in consciousness. E$en if the part sa%s "No, I would not," that.s still a communication in consciousness. If he had gotten a "no" response, I would understand that in the following wa%7 the intent of that part is not to not communicate with him in consciousness. It.s a statement that it doesn.t trust him. )hat is, it.s not willing to release content information to his conscious mind. And I respect that. I reall% belie$e that unconscious minds should ha$e the freedom, and in fact ha$e the dut%, to keep out of awareness material which would not be useful for the conscious mind to deal with. Ge had a period when we did nothing but deep, deep trance h%pnosis. A man came in once and said that there were all kinds of things standing in the wa% of his being happ%. I said "Gould %ou like to tell me what those things areI" And he said "No, I want to go into a trance and change it all, and that.s wh% I came for h%pnosis." (o accepting all beha$ior, I did an induction, put him into a deep trance, :A; sent his conscious mind awa%, and said "I want to speak pri$atel% with %our unconscious mind." I ha$e no idea what that means. ,owe$er, when %ou tell them to, people do it. )he% talk to %ou and it.s not the one %ou were talking to before, because it knows things the other one doesn.t know. Ghether I created that di$ision or whether it was there alread%, I ha$e no idea. I asked for it, and I got it. In this particular case, his conscious mind was, to put it as nicel% as I can, inane. ,is unconscious resources, howe$er, were incredibl% intelligent. (o I said "Ghat I want to know from %ou, since %ou know much more about him than I do, is what change is it that he needs to make in his beha$iorI" )he response I got was ",e.s a homoseFual." "Ghat change does he need to makeI" ",e needs to change it, because it.s all based on a mistake." "Ghat mistakeI" )he eFplanation that I got from his unconscious mind was the following7 )he first time he had e$er asserted himself ph%sicall%, in terms of tr%ing to defend himself against $iolence, was when he was fi$e %ears old in a hospital to ha$e his tonsils out. (omeone put the ether mask on his face, and he tried to push it awa% and fight back as he went under the anesthetic. Anesthesia

became anchored to the feeling of being angr%. After that, e$er% time he began to feel angr% or frightened and started to strike out, his bod% went.limp. As a result of this, his conscious mind decided that he was a homoseFual. ,e had li$ed as a homoseFual for about twent%0fi$e %ears. ,is unconscious resources said "Eou must not let his conscious mind know about this mistake, because knowing that would destro% him." And I agreed with that. )here was no need for him to know that he had goofed in all of his relationships for twent%0fi$e %ears. )he onl% important thing was that he make a change, because he wanted to get married. -ut he couldn.t marr% a woman because he 3new that he was a homoseFual. ,is unconscious mind would not allow him in an% wa% to become conscious of the fact that he had made this mistake, because it would ha$e made his whole life a mistake and that knowledge would ha$e utterl% destro%ed him. It wanted him to ha$e the illusion that he grew out of it and grew into new beha$ior. (ol arranged with his unconscious mind to ha$e him blossom as a heteroseFual person and to make the changes as a result of a spiritual eFperience. ,is unconscious mind agreed that that was the best wa% to go about it. ,e changed without an% conscious representation of either :AB the h%pnotic session or where the changes came from. ,e belie$es it came as a result of a drug eFperience. ,e smoked mari#uana and had a cosmic eFperience. ,e assumed that it was the "ualit% of the grass, and not a post0h%pnotic suggestion. )hat was ade"uate for him to make the changes that he wanted. )here are man% parts of people that do that same kind of thing. A part doesn.t want the conscious mind to know what.s going on, because it belie$es the conscious mind can.t handle it, and it ma% or ma% not be right. (ometimes I.$e worked with people and I.$e made a deal with a part to allow the conscious mind to slowl% become aware of something a little at a time, to disco$er if in fact the conscious mind can handle it or not. And usuall% the part disco$ered that the conscious mind could accept the information. At other times I.$e gotten an emphatic "No, there.s no wa% I will do that. I don.t want the conscious mind to know. I will change all beha$iors, but I will not inform the conscious mind of an%thing." And people do change. 6ost change takes place at the unconscious le$el an%wa%. It.s onl% in recent Gestern European histor% that we.$e made the idea of change eFplicit. If Dick.s part had said that it was unwilling to inform his conscious mind what the intention was, we would ha$e #ust gone ahead an%wa% because it isn.t rele$ant. Ge would ha$e #ust told that part to go directl% to his creati$e part and get the new choices. In fact, informing his conscious mind is probabl% what made it take so long. I.m serious. -eing conscious, as far as I can tell, is ne$er important, unless %ou want to write books to model %our beha$ior. In terms of face0to0face communication, either internall% or with other people, %ou don.t need consciousness. Ge essentiall% limit his conscious participation to recei$ing and reporting fluctuations in his signal s%stem, and asking the "uestions which stimulate those responses. It.s "uite possiblenot onl% possible but "uite positi#e<for him not to know what the intention of his unconscious part is, as well as for him not to know what the new choices are. )he changes will still be as profound and as effecti$e as if he knew all that. In fact, in some wa%s the changes will be more effecti$e. 6an7 Ghat if %ou get no response at all at the beginningI Gell, if %ou get no response at all, %our client is probabl% dead. -ut if he doesn.t get a response that con$inces him, I.d all% m%self with his unconscious mind and sa% " ook, this part is unwilling to communicate with %ou and I agree with it, because I wouldn.t want to communicate with %ou either. Ghat %ou ha$en.t reali2ed %et is that this part :A> has been doing something $itall% important for %ou. It.s been doing %ou a ser$ice and %ouHe spent all this time fighting %our own internal processes when the%.$e been tr%ing to do

something positi$e for %ou. I want to salute them and compliment them. And I think %ou owe them an apolog%." I.ll literall% tell people to go inside and apologi2e for ha$ing fought with the part and ha$ing made it that much harder for that part to do what it.s tr%ing to do for them. If that doesn.t work, %ou can threaten them. "And if %ou don.t start being better to %our parts, I.m going to help them destro% %ou. I.m going to help them gi$e %ou a terrible headache and make %ou gain twent%0fi$e pounds." )hen t%picall% I begin to get reall% good unconscious communication. )he person will be sa%ing "Gell, I dont think this is reall% accurate" at the same time that their head is nodding up and down in response to what I.$e said. Goman7 In step three %ou ask the part what it is tr%ing to do what its intention is b% that pattern of beha$ior. Do %ou need to do that if it doesn.t matter whether %ou know about it or notI No. It.s #ust that most people are interested. If the unconscious doesn.t want to re$eal the intention, we.d #ust sa% something like "E$en though N is a pattern %ou consciousl% want to change, are %ou willing to belie$e that this is a well0intentioned unconscious part, and that what it.s tr%ing to get for %ou b% making %ou do N is something in %our behalf as a total personI If %ou.re willing to accept that, let.s keep all the content unconscious, sa%ing .'*, I trust that %ou.re well0intentioned. I don.t need to re$iew and e$aluate %our intentions because I will make the assumption that %ou.re operating in m% best interests.." )hen we.d #ust go ahead with step four. A few %ears ago we were doing a workshop and there was a woman there who had a phobia of dri$ing on freewa%s. 3ather than treating it as a phobia, which would ha$e been much more elegant, I did a standard reframing to demonstrate that %ou can work with phobias with reframing, e$en though it.s much faster to use the two0step $isualJkinesthetic dissociation pattern. I said " ook, there.s a part that.s scaring the pants off %ou when %ou go near freewa%s. Go inside and tell this part that we know it.s doing something of importance, and ask if it is willing to communicate with %ou." (he got a $er% strong positi$e response. (o I said "Now go inside and ask the part if it would be willing to tell %ou what it.s tr%ing to do for %ou b% scaring the pants off %ou when %ou go near freewa%s." (he went inside, and then said "Gell, the part said .No, I.m not willing to tell %ou.." :AA 3ather than go to unconscious refraining, I did something which ma% sound curious, but it.s something I do from time to time when I ha$e suspicions, or what other people call intuitions. I had her go inside and ask if the part 3new what it was doing for her. (he closed her e%es, and then she came back outside and said "Gell, I... I dont... I don.t belie$e what it said." "Gell, go inside again, and ask if it.s telling the truth." (he went inside again, and then said "I dont want to belie$e what it said." "Gell, what did it sa%I" "It said it forgotT Now, as amusing as that sounds, I alwa%s thought that was a great response. In some wa%s it makes sense. Eou are ali$e for a long time. If a part organi2es its beha$ior to do something and %ou reall% resist it and fight against it, it can get so caught up in the fight that it forgets wh% it organi2ed its beha$ior that wa% in the first place. ,ow man% of %ou ha$e e$er gotten into an argument and in the middle of it forgotten what it was that %ou were intending to do in the first placeI !arts, like people, don.t alwa%s remember about outcomes. 3ather than going through a lot of rigamarole, I said " ook, this is a $er% powerful part of %ou. Did %ou e$er think about how powerful it isI E$er% single time %ou go near a freewa%, this part is capable of scaring the pants off %ou. )hat.s prett% ama2ing. ,ow would %ou like to ha$e a part like that on %our sideI" (he went "Gow/ I don.t ha$e an% parts like that/" (o I said "Go inside and ask that part if it would like to do something that it could be appreciated for, that would

be worthwhile, and that would be worth% of its talents." And of course that part went "'h, %eah/" (o I said "Now go inside and ask that part if it would be willing to ha$e %ou be comfortable, alert, breathing regularl% and smoothl%, being cautious and in sensor% eFperience when %ou go onto a freewa% on ramp.")he part went "Eeah, %eah. I.ll do that." I then had her fantasi2e a couple of freewa% situations. Earlier she was incapable of doing thatC she would go into a terror state because e$en the fantas% of being near a freewa% was too scar%. Ghen she went through it this time she did it ade"uatel%. (he then got in a car, went out to the . freewa%, and did fine. (he en#o%ed it so much that she dro$e for four hours and ran out of gas on the freewa%/ 6an7 At one point it looked like there was strain showing on Dick.s forehead. I #ust wondered if he reall% was bothered or #ust concentrating. If %ou were working with someone and %ou had a serious doubt about that, then %ou owe it to %ourself to $erif% %our suspicion or den% it. )he easiest wa%, of course, is the same methodolog%. I would look at Dick and sa% "I noticed a furrowed brow. )hat sometimes indicates tension, or sometimes simpl% concentration. I don.t know which." It onl% takes an eFtra thirt% seconds to ha$e him go inside and ask the part of him that.s wrinkling his brow to increase the tension there if it has some input to this process that it would like to make manifest, and decrease the tension there if not. )hat would gi$e %ou an immediate $erification, without an% hallucination. Eou don.t ha$e to hallucinate, and he doesn.t ha$e to guess. EouHe got a s%stem which allows %ou to get direct sensor% signals in order to answer %our "uestions. I hope those of %ou who are h%pnotists recogni2e a couple of patterns going on here. 'ne is fractionation7 alternating from turning inward and coming back to sensor% eFperience in and out of trance. Ghether %ou are h%pnotists or not %ou.$e probabl% heard of finger signals or ideomotor signals. A h%pnotist will often make arrangements with the person in a trance that sJhe will lift the right indeF finger with honest unconscious mo$ements for "%es" responses, and the left indeF finger for "no." Ghat we did here is nothing more than a s%stem of natural finger signals. 1inger signals are a wholl% arbitrar% imposition b% the h%pnotist. 3eframing lea$es much more freedom on the part of the client to choose a response signal s%stem which is most congruent with what the% need at the time. It.s a naturalistic techni"ue that also makes possible signals that can.t be duplicated b% consciousness. ,owe$er, it.s the same forhial pattern, the same principle, as finger signals. Dsing natural signals also allows different parts to use different channels instead of ha$ing them all use the same s%stem. Now, what if at some point he had gotten increased sweating in the palms, sensations in the front of the leg, $isual images, a sound of a racing carall these signals as responsesI I would ha$e said "I.m glad there are so man% parts acti$e in %our behalf. In order to make this thing work, go inside and thank them all for the responses. Ask all those parts to be eF"uisitel% attenti$e to what happens. 1irst we.ll take the perspiration in %our handsC we.ll work with that part. I guarantee all the other parts that no beha$ioral changes will occur until we do the ecological check and I ha$e $erified that the% all accept the new beha$iors. 'r %ou could ask all those parts to form a committee and ask them to choose one signal. )hen ha$e the committee make its collecti$e needs known to the creati$e part, and so on. 6an7 Ghat if in step fi$e the part doesn.t agree to take the responsibilit%I Gell, then something went wrong earlier. If the part that sa%s "No, I won.t take responsibilit%" is the same part that selected three patterns of beha$ior which it belie$es are more effecti$e than the original pattern, that doesn.t make an% sense at all. )hat.s an indicator that %our
157 156

communication channels got crossed somewhere, so %ou go back and straighten them out. 6an7 -acking up one step, what if it doesn.t help %ou selectI Eou ask "Gill %ou select from all these possibilitiesI" and it sa%s "No, I won.t." Eou can sa% "(tupid, I.m offering %ou wa%s which are more effecti$e than %our present pattern and %ou.re sa%ing .No./ Ghat kind of a #erk are %ouI" I.m serious. )hat works reall% well. Eou get a response then/ ,owe$er, that.s onl% one possible maneu$er. )here are lots of other maneu$ers. "'h, then %ou are entirel% satisfied with all the wasted energ% that is going on insideI" Dse whate$er maneu$ers %ou ha$e in %our beha$ior that are appropriate at that point to get the response %ou want. Goman7 Ghat kind of reports do %ou get about what happens when %our new beha$ior occursI Dsuall% people beha$e differentl% for a week before the% notice it. +onscious minds are reall% limited. )hat.s the report we get a lot. I used reframing with a woman who had a phobic response to, curiousl% enough, going o$er bridges, but onl% if the% had water under them. (he li$ed in New 'rleans where there are a lot of bridges with water under them. )here.s one bridge in New 'rleans called the (lidell -ridge, and she would alwa%s sa% "Especiall% the ( IDEell -ridge," accented that wa%. After I had done reframing with her, I said "Are %ou going to cross an% bridges on the wa% homeI" And she said "Ees, I.m going o$er the (liDE bridge." )hat difference was enough of an indication for me that I knew that the reframing was going to work. (he was in that workshop for three da%s and ne$er said a word. At the end of the workshop, I asked her about the work we had done on 1rida%. "Eou.$e been dri$ing o$er bridges this weekend, and I want to know if %ou had an% of that phobic response." (he said "'h, I reall% hadn.t thought about it." A few da%s earlier she had been working on it as a problem. )wo da%s later she was sa%ing "'h, %eah, the% are #ust eFpresswa%s o$er water." )hat.s $er%, $er% close to the response that :A= )amm% offered us %esterda%. Ghen )amm% fantasi2ed doing it, she went "Gell, it was dri$ing across a bridge." It no longer had that incredible impact, that o$erwhelming kinesthetic response. !eople ha$e the tendenc% not e$en to think about it. )he% ha$e a tendenc% to disco$er it afterwards, which to me is reall% much hipper an%wa% than if the% are surprised and delighted with it. )hat same woman in New 'rleans also said "Gell, it.s a reall% ama2ing thing. Actuall% I wasn.t phobic of bridges/" "If %ou weren.t phobic of bridges, how come %ou freaked out when %ou got on themI" "-ecause the% go o$er water. Eou see, the whole thing had to do with almost drowning when I was a little kidC I was underneath a bridge, drowning." "Do %ou ha$e a swimming poolI" "Now that %ou mention it, no." "Do %ou swim $er% oftenI" "I don.t swim at all. I can.t swim." "Do %ou like showers or bathsI" ?;howers.? (he made a generali2ation somewhere in her past that said "Don.t go near waterC %ou.ll drown." Ghen that part noticed that she was going o$er a bridge, it said "-ridges go o$er water, and water.s a good place to drown, so now is the time to be terrified." Ge alwa%s ha$e follow0ups. !eople come back or telephone, so we make sure that the changes the% want did occur. )%picall% we ha$e to ask for a reportwhich seems to me reall% appropriate. +hange is the onl% constant in m% eFperience and most of it occurs at the unconscious le$el. It.s onl% with the ad$ent of official humanistic ps%chotherapies and

ps%chiatr% that people pa% conscious attention to change. In 6ichigan, I worked on a phobia that a woman had. I didn.t know what the content was at the time, but it turned out that she had a phobia of dogs. After we had done the work, she went to $isit a friend who had a dog. Ghat was reall% amusing to her as she walked in and saw the dog, was that the dog looked so much smaller. (he said to her friend "6% God/ Ghat happened to %our dogI It.s shrun3G? 6an7 Dick.s signal s%stem ga$e a positi$e response that it recei$ed three new choices from his creati$e part. Ghat if he got a negati$eI It doesn.t matter if %ou get a "%es" or "no." It onl% matters that %ou get one or the other. )he "%es0no" signals are #ust to distract the

:A9 conscious mind of the person %ou are working with. If %ou get a "no," then %ou offer it another wa% to go about it. ")hen %ou go to %our de$ious part and tell it to all% itself with %our creati$e part and trick this part of %ou into ha$ing new choices." It doesn.t matter how %ou do it. I probabl% would ha$e had him construct a creati$e part. I wouldn.t ha$e been satisfied that he had access to his creati$it%. I know there are lots of wa%s to accomplish the same thing. Eou can sa% "Do %ou know an%one else who is able to do thisI I want %ou to re$iew with $i$id detail in picture and sound and feeling what they do, and then ha$e this part of %ou consider those possibilities. ")hat.s #ust a wa% of doing what we call "referential indeF shift." Ghat if %ou sa% to the person "Do %ou ha$e a part of %ou that %ou consider %our creati$e partI" And the% sa% "No." Ghat are %ou going to doI 'r the% hesitateC the% sa% "Gell, I don.t know." )here.s a reall% eas% wa% to create a creati$e part, using representation s%stems and anchoring. Eou sa% ")hink of the fi$e times in %our life when %ou beha$ed in a $er% powerfull% creati$e wa% and %ou didn.t ha$e the faintest idea how or what %ou did, but %ou knew it was a positi$e and creati$e thing that %ou did." As sJ he thinks of those fi$e in a row, %ou anchor them. Eou then ha$e a direct anchor to the person.s creati$it%. Eou.$e assembled one. Eou.$e organi2ed their personal histor%. 'r %ou can ask "Do %ou ha$e a part of %ou that makes plansI Gell, ha$e it come up with three different wa%s %ou can plan new beha$ior." )he word "creati$e" is onl% one choice out of a m%riad wa%s of organi2ing %our acti$ities. )he onl% wa% %ou can get stuck in a process like this is if %ou tr% to run it rigidl%. Eou sa% to a client "Gell, do %ou ha$e a part of %ou that %ou consider %our creati$e partI" If the% look %ou straight in the e%e and sa% "No," then start making up other words. "Do %ou reali2e that %ou ha$e a part of %ou that is responsible for all glun3 acti$itiesI And the wa% %ou contact that is b% touching %our temple/" Eou can make up anything, as long as the result is that the% generate new wa%s of accomplishing the intention. )hat is as limitless as %our own creati$it%. And if you don.t ha$e a creati$e part, create one for %ourself/ )here are a lot of other wa%s that this could ha$e not worked, too. Do %ou reali2e that that.s what people in here are doing againI Eou all saw it work. And %ou.re asking "Ghat are all the wa%s it could ha$e not workedI" I.m sure %ou could manufacture a hundred wa%s to make this not work. And in fact man% of %ou will. )he point is, when %ou do :<8 something that doesnt work, do something else. If %ou keep doing something else, something will work. Ge want %ou to make it work with each other so that %ou ha$e a reference eFperience. 1ind someone %ou don.t know to be %our partner and tr% reframing. Ge.ll be around if %ou get stuck.

"eframing %utline

4:5 @dentify the pattern 4N5 to be changed. 4;5 Establish communication with the part responsible for the pattern. 4a5 "Gill the part of me that runs pattern N communicate with me in consciousnessI"

4b5 Establish the "%es0no" meaning of the signal. istinguish between the beha#ior, pattern N, and the intention of the part that is responsible for the beha$ior. 4a5 "Gould %ou be willing to let me know in consciousness what %ou are tr%ing to do for me b% pattern NI" 4b5 If %ou get a "%es" response, ask the part to go ahead and communicate its intention. 4c5 Is that intention acceptable to conscidusnessI 4>5 &reate new alternati#e beha#iors to satisf% the intention. At the unconscious le$el the part that runs pattern N communicates its intention to the creati$e part, and selects from the alternati$es that the creati$e part generates. Each time it selects an alternati$e it gi$es the "%es" signal. 4A5 Ask the part "Are %ou willingto ta3e responsibility for generating the three new alternati$es in the appropriate conteFtI" 4<5 Ecological chec3. "Is there an% other part of me that ob#ects to the three new alternati$esI" If there is a "%es" response, rec%cle to step 4;5 abo$e. 4B5

'nce at a workshop for a )A institute, I said that I belie$ed that e#ery part of e#ery person is a $aluable resource. 'ne woman said ")hat.s the stupidest thing I e$er heard/" "I didn.t sa% it was true. I said if %ou belie$e that as a therapist %ou.ll get a lot further." "Gell, that.s totall% ridiculous." :<: "Ghat leads %ou to belie$e that that.s ridiculousI" "I He got parts that are not worth a dime. )he% #ust get in m% wa%. )hat.s all the% do." "Name one," "I ha$e a part that no matter what I do, all the time I.m tr%ing to do an%thing, it #ust totall% tells me I can.t do it, and that I.m going to fail. It makes e$er%thing twice as hard as it needs to be." (he said that she had been a high school dropout. Ghen she decided to go back to high school, that part said "Eou.ll ne$er be able to do itC %ou.re not good enoughC %ou.re too stupid. It.ll be embarrassing. Eou won.t be able to do it." -ut she did it. And e$en when she did that, when she decided to go on to college, that part said "Eou.re not going to be able to do it." (o I said "Gell, I.d like to speak to that part directl%." )hat alwa%s gets )A people, b% the wa%. )he% don.t ha$e that in their model. )hen I look o$er their left shoulder while I talk to them and that reall% dri$es them nuts. -ut it.s a $er% effecti$e anchoring mechanism, because from that time on, e$er% time %ou look o$er their left shoulder, onl% that part can hear. "I know that that part of %ou is doing something $er% important for %ou, and it is $er% sneak% about how it does it. E$en if %ou don.t appreciate it, I do. I.d like to tell that part that if it were willing to tell her conscious mind what it.s doing for her, then perhaps it could get some of the appreciation that it deser$es." )hen I had her go inside and ask the part what it was doing for her that was positi$e. It came right out and said "I was moti$ating %ou." After she told me that, she said "Gell, I think that.s weird." I said "Gell, %ou know, I don.t think it would be possible for %ou to come up here right now and work in front of this entire group." (he stood up defiantl% and walked across the

room and sat down. )hose of %ou who ha$e studied strategies and understand the phenomenon of polarit% response will recogni2e that this part was simpl% a Neuro inguistic !rogrammer that understood utili2ation. It knew that if it said "Aw, %ou can go to college, %ou can do it," she.d sa% "No, I can.t do it." ,owe$er, if it said to her "Eou.re not going to be able to cut the grade," then she would sa% "'h, %eahI" and she would go out and do it. Now what would ha$e happened to that woman if we had somehow gotten that part to stop doing that, but without changing an%thing elseI ... (he wouldn.t ha$e had an% wa% to moti$ate herself/ )hat.s wh% we ha$e the ecological check. )he ecological check is a wa% of being sure :<; that the new beha$ior fits with all the other parts of a person. Dp to step siF we ha$e essentiall% created a communication s%stem between the person.s consciousness and their unconscious part that runs the pattern of beha$ior the% are tr%ing to change. And we ha$e succeeded in finding more effecti$e alternati$e beha$iors in that area. I don.t know, of course, when I.$e finished that, whether this is going to be beneficial for them as a total person. et me gi$e %ou another eFample of this. IHe seen mous% little people who went to asserti$eness training and became aggressi$eso aggressi$e that their husband or wife left them and none of their friends will talk to them an%more. )he% go around %elling at people and being eFtremel% asserti$e, so abrasi$e that the% no longer ha$e friends. )hat.s sort of a polarit% flip, or a swing of the pendulum. 'ne wa% to make sure that doesn.t happen is to ha$e some de$ice like the ecological check. Ghen %ou ha$e completed communication and created alternati$e new beha$iors for the part that originall% ran the problem beha$ior, %ou ask for all other parts to consider the repercussions of these new patterns of beha$ior. "Is there an% other part of me that has an% ob#ection to the new choices in m% beha$iorI" If another part ob#ects, it will t%picall% use a distincti$e signal. It ma% be in the same s%stem, but it will be distincti$e as far as bod% part. If suddenl% there.s tension in the shoulders, %ou sa% "Good, I ha$e a limited conscious mind. Gould %ou increase the tension in m% shoulders if it means .Ees, there is an ob#ection,. and decrease it if it means .No.." If there is an ob#ection, that.s a delightful outcome. )hat means there is another part, another resource, that.s acti$e in %our behalf in making this change. Eou are at step two again, and %ou rec%cle. 'ne of the things that I think distinguishes a reall% eF"uisite communicator from one who is not, is to be precise about %our use of language7 use language in a wa% that gets %ou what %ou want. !eople who are slopp% with language get slopp% responses. Hirginia (atir is precise about her use of langauge, and 6ilton Erickson is e$en more precise. If %ou are precise about the wa% %ou phrase "uestions, %ou will get precise kinds of information back. 1or eFample, somebod% here said "Go inside and ask if the part of %ou responsible for this beha$ior is willing to changeI" And the% got a "No" response. It makes perfect sense/ )he% didn.t offer it an% new choices. )he% didn.t sa% "Are %ou willing to communicateI" )he% said "Are %ou willing to changeI" Another person said "Gill %ou, the part of me that is responsible for :<B this pattern of beha$ior, accept the choices generated b% m% creati$it%I" And the answer was "No." And properl% so. Eour creati$it% doesn.t know a thing about %our beha$ior in this area. )he part that.s got to make a selection is the part that is responsible for %our beha$ior. It.s the one that knows about that. 6an7 Ghat if the unconscious creati$e part refuses to gi$e an% choicesI It ne$er happens if %ou are respectful of it. If %ou as a therapist are disrespectful of people.s creati$it% and their unconscious, it will simpl% cease communicating with %ou. Goman7 6% partner and I found that our conscious minds were most unaccepting of change.

I totall% agree with that. )hat.s $er% true of therapists, especiall% if the choices were left unconscious. It.s not necessaril% true of other groups in the population. And it figures, because therapists ha$e $er% nos% conscious minds. Almost e$er% modern humanistic ps%chotheo0log% I know implies that it is necessar% to be conscious in order to make changes. )hat.s absurd. Goman7 I.m confused about awareness and consciousness. Gestalt therap% talks about the importance of awareness, and Ghen 1rit2 !eris said " ose %our mind and come to %our senses," and to ha$e awareness, I think he was talking about eFperience. I think he suspected that %ou could ha$e sensor% perception without inter$ening consciousness. ,e wrote about what he referred to as the "D6O of eFperience," in which he said that talking to %ourself was being as far remo$ed from eFperience as %ou could be. ,e said that making $isual images was a little bit closer to ha$ing eFperience. And he said ha$ing feelings was being as close as %ou could get to ha$ing eFperience, and that the "D6O" is $er% different than beha$ing and acting in the real world. I think what he was alluding to is that %ou can ha$e eFperience without refleFi$e consciousness, and he called that "being in the here and now." Ge call it "uptime." It.s the strateg% we.$e used to organi2e our perceptions and responses in this workshop with %ou. In uptime, %ou don.t talk to %ourself, %ou don.t ha$e pictures and %ou don.t ha$e feelings. Eou simpl% access sensor% eFperience and respond to it directl%. Gestalt therap% has an implicit rule that accessing cues are bad, because %ou must be a$oiding. If %ou look awa%, %ou are a$oiding. And when %ou are looking awa% %ou are in internal eFperience, which we call "downtime." 1rit2 wanted e$er%bod% to be in uptime. ,owe$er, he was inside telling himself that it was better to be in uptime/ ,e was a $er% creati$e person and I think that.s what he meant, but it.s reall% hard to know. Goman7 Eou said we.d see when reframing doesn.t work. @ certainl% did as I walked around the room/ Eou will tr% it and it won.t work. ,owe$er that.s not a comment on the method. )hat.s a comment about not being creati$e enough in the application of it, and not ha$ing enough sensor% eFperience to accept all the cues that are there. If %ou take its "not working"instead of a comment about how dumb and stupid and inade"uate %ou areas a comment about what.s there for %ou to learn and begin to eFplore, then therap% will become a real opportunit% to eFpand %ourself, instead of an opportunit% for self0 criticism. )his is one of the things I.$e disco$ered teaching h%pnosis. I think it.s one of the main reasons that h%pnosis has not proliferated in this societ%. As a h%pnotist %ou put somebod% into a trance and present them with some kind of a challenge such as "Eou will be unable to open %our e%es." 6ost people are unwilling to put themsel$es to that kind of test. !eople sa% this to me all the time in h%pnosis training seminars7 "Ghat happens if I gi$e them the suggestion and the% don.t carr% it outI" And I sa% "Eou gi$e them another one/" If the% dont get eFactl% what the% intended, the% think the% must.ha$e failed, instead of taking that as an opportunit% for responding creati$el%. )here.s a reall% huge trap there. If %ou decide before %ou begin a communication what will constitute a "$alid" response, then the probabilit% that %ou.ll get it is reduced se$erel%. If, howe$er, %ou make a maneu$er, some inter$ention, and then simpl% come to %our senses and notice what response %ou get, %ou.ll reali2e that all responses are utili4able. )here.s no particularl% good or bad response. An% response is a good response when it.s utili2ed, and it.s the neFt step in the process of change. )he onl% wa% %ou can fail is b% "uitting, and deciding %ou are not willing to spend an% more time with it. 'f course %ou can #ust continue to do the same thing o$er and o$er again, which means %ou.ll ha$e the same failure for a longer period of time/
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)here was a research pro#ect that I think %ou all are entitled to know about. 'ut of a group of people, one third of them went into therap%, one third of them were put on a waiting list, and one third of them were shown mo$ies of therap%. )he people on the waiting list had the same rate of impro$ement/ )hat is a comment about that research pro#ect, :<A and that.s allies a comment about. )hat finding was presented to me as if it were a statement about the world. Ghen I made a comment that the onl% thing I could discern is that it was a statement about the incompetenc% of the people doing therap% in the pro#ect, it struck them as a no$el idea that actuall% that might be a possibilit%. I came to ps%cholog% from mathematics. )he first thing that made sense to me as I entered the field of ps%cholog% is that what the% were doing was not working, at least with the people who were still in the hospitals and still in the officesthe other people had gone home/ (o the onl% thing that made sense to me is that what the% were doing with their clients was what I didn!t want to do. )he onl% things not worth learning were what the% were alread% doing that wasn.t working. )he first client that I saw was in somebod%.s pri$ate office. I went in and watched this therapist work with a %oung man for an hour. (he was $er% warm, #ery empathetic, $er% s%mpathetic with this gu% as he talked about what a terrible home life he had. ,e said "Eou know, m% wife and I reall% ha$en.t been able to get together, and it got so bad that I reall% felt I had strong needs and I went out and had this affair," and she said "I understand how %ou could do that." And the% went on and on like this for a full hour. At the end of the hour she turned to me and she said "Gell, is there an%thing that %ou would like to addI" I stood up and looked at the gu% and said "I want to tell %ou that I think %ou.re the biggest punk I ha$e e$er met/ Going out and screwing around behind %our wife.s back, and coming here and cr%ing on this woman.s shoulder. )hat.s going to get %ou nothing, since %ou aren.t going to change, and %ou.re going to be as miserable as %ou are now for the rest of %our life unless %ou grab %ourself b% the bootheels, gi$e %ourself a good kick in the butt, and go tell %our wife how %ou want her to act with %ou. )ell her in eFplicit enough words so that she will know eFactl% what %ou want her to do. If %ou don.t do that, %ou.re going to be as miserable as %ou are now fore$er and no one will be able to help %ou." )hat was the eFact opposite of what that therapist had done. ,e was de$astated, #ust de$astated. ,e left the office and went home and worked it all out with his wife. ,e did all of the things I.d told him to do, and then he called me up on the telephone and told me it was the most important eFperience of his life. ,owe$er, during the time he did that, that therapist utterl% con$inced me that what I had done was wrong/ (he eFplained to me all these concepts about therap% and about how this wouldn.t be helpful, and con$inced me that what I had done was the wrong thing. 6an7 -ut she didn.t stop %ou from doing it. (he couldn!tB (he was paral%2ed/ -ut she was right. It wouldn.t ha$e worked with her. ,owe$er, it was perfect for him. If nothing else, it was #ust the opposite of what she had been doing all that time. It wasn.t that what I did was more powerful than what she did, it was #ust more appropriate for him, gi$en that all those other things hadn.t worked. )hat therapist didn.t ha$e that fleFibilit% in her beha$ior. (he did the onl% thing that she could do. (he couldn.t do gestalt therap% because she couldnt %ell at an%bod%. It wasn.t a choice for her. (he was so nice. I.m sure there were some people who had ne$er had an%bod% be nice to them, and that hanging around her was such a new eFperience that it had some influence on them. ,owe$er, that would still not help them make the specific changes that the% came to therap% for. Goman7 Ghat we did was to ask the conscious mind of the partner "Gill %ou agree not to
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sabotage, not to tr% to" 'h, there.s a presupposition there that the conscious mind can sabotage/ Eou can ignore the conscious mind. It can.t sabotage the unconscious. It couldn.t sabotage the original choice that it didn.t want, and it.s not going to be able to sabotage the new ones either. Ghat %ou.re doing with reframing is gi$ing re"uisite $ariet% to the unconscious. )he unconscious pre$iousl% had onl% one choice about how to get what it wants. Now it.s got at least four choicesthree new ones and the old one. )he conscious mind still hasn.t got an% new choices. (o gi$en the law of re"uisite $ariet%, which is going to be in controlI )he same one that was in control before %ou got here, and that is not %our conscious mind. It.s important for some people to ha$e the illusion that their conscious mind controls their beha$ior. It.s a particularl% $irulent form of insanit% among college professors, ps%chiatrists, and law%ers. )he% belie$e that consciousness is the wa% the% run their li$es. If %ou belie$e that, there is an eFperiment %ou can tr%. )he neFt time somebod% eFtends their hand to shake hands with %ou, I want %ou to consciousl% not lift %our hand, and find out whether %our hand goes up or not. 6% guess is that %our conscious mind won.t e$en disco$er that it is time to interrupt the beha$ior until %our hand is at least half0wa% up. And that.s #ust a comment about who.s in control. 6an7 ,ow about the use of this method in groupsI I hope %ou notice how we ha$e used it here/ Ghile %ou are doing reframing, %ou spend about se$ent% to eight% percent of the time alone, :<@ waiting for the person to get a response. Ghile %ou are doing that %ou can start with someone else. Each of us used to do ten or fifteen people at a time. )he onl% limitation on how man% people %ou can do at one time is how much sensor% eFperience %ou are able to respond to. Eou set %our limitations b% the refinement of %our sensor% apparatus. I know a man who does it with groups, and he takes them all together through each step. "E$er%bod% identif% something. E$er%bod% go inside. Ghat did %ou getI" "I got a feeling." "Intensif% for .%es.." "Ghat did %ou getI" "I got sounds." ",a$e them get louder.""Ghat did %ou getI" "I got a picture." ",a$e it brighten." ,e makes e$er%bod% else wait instead. )hat.s another approach. It.s easier if %ou ha$e a homogeneous group of people. 6an7 I.m kind of curious. Did %ou e$er do this with somebod% who had cancerha$e them go inside and talk to the part that is causing the cancerI Ees. I worked as a consultant for the (imontons in 1ort Gorth. I had siF people who were terminal cancer patients, so I did them as a group, and that worked fine. I had enough sensor% eFperience, and there was enough homogeneit% in them as a group, that I could do it that wa%. )he (imontons get good responses@.ttsJ using #isuali4ation. Ghen %ou add the sophistication of all representational s%stems and the kind of communication s%stem we de$elop with reframing, I dont know what the limits are. I would like to know what the% are. And the wa% to find out is to assume that I can do an%thing and go out and do it. Ge had a student who got a complete remission from a cancer patient. And he did something which I think is e$en more impressi$e7 ,e got an o$arian c%st the si2e of an orange to shrink awa% in two weeks. According to medical science, that wasn.t e$en possible. )hat client reports that she has the N0ra%s to pro$e it. )hose of %ou who went through medical school were done something of a disser$iceC let me talk about that for a moment. )he medical model is based on a scientific model. )he scientific model does the following7 it sa%s "In a compleF situation, one wa% to find out something about it scientificall% is to restrict e$er%thing in the situation eFcept one $ariable. )hen %ou change the $alue of that $ariable and notice an% changes in the s%stem." I think that.s an eFcellent wa% to figure out cause0effect relationships in the world of eFperience. I do

not think it is a useful model in face0to0face communication with another human being who is tr%ing to get a change. 3ather than restrict all beha$ior in a face0to0face communication, %ou want to $ar% %our :<= beha$ior wildly, to do whate$er %ou need to do in order to elicit the response that %ou want. 6edical people for a long time ha$e been willing to admit that people can ps%chologicall% "make themsel$es sick." )he% know that ps%chological cogniti$e mechanisms can create disease, and that things like the placebo effect can cure it. -ut that knowledge is not eFploited in this culture in a useful wa%. 3eframing is one wa% to begin to do that. 3eframing is the treatment of choice for any ps%chosomatic s%mptom. Eou can assume that an% ph%siological s%mptom is ps%chosomatic, and then proceed with refrainingmaking sure that the person has alread% made use of all medical resources. Ge assume that all disease is ps%chosomatic. Ge don.t reall% belie#e that.s true. ,owe$er, if we act as if that.s true, then we ha$e wa%s of responding appropriatel% and powerfull% to people who ha$e difficulties that are not recogni2ed as ps%chosomatic b% medical people. Ghether it.s aphasics that we.$e worked with, or people with paral%sis that had an organic base, that wasn.t h%sterical according to the medical reports, we still often get beha$ioral changes. Eou can talk about it as if the people were pretending to be changed, but as long as the% pretend effecti$el% for the rest of their life, I.m satisfied. )hat.s real enough for me. )he "uestion for us is not what.s "true," but what is a useful belief s%stem to operate out of as a communicator. If %ou are a medical doctor and somebod% comes in with a broken arm, then I think the logical thing for %ou to do is to set the broken bone, and not pla% philosophical games. If %ou.re a communicator and %ou take the medical model as a metaphor for ps%chological change, then %ouHe made a gra$e error. It.s #ust not a useful wa% of thinking about it. I think that ultimatel% the cures for schi2ophrenia and neurosis probabl% will be pharmacological, but I don.t think that the% ha$e to be. I think the% probabl% will be, because the training structures in this countr% ha$e produced a massi$e amount of incompetence in the field of ps%chotherap%. )herapists #ust aren.t producing results. (ome people are, but what the% are doing isn.t being proliferated at a high enough rate. )hat.s one of the functions that I understand us to ha$e7 to put information into a form that allows it to be easil% learned and widel% disseminated. Ge also treat alcoholism as a ps%chosomatic processlike allergies or headaches or phantom0 limb pain. )he alcohol is an anchor, #ust as an% other drug is. Ghat an alcoholic is sa%ing to %ou b% being an :<9 alcoholic is essentiall% ")he onl% wa% I can get to certain kinds of eFperiences which are important and positi$e for me as a human beingcamaraderie, escape from certain kinds of conscious process, or whate$er it isis this anchor called alcohol." Dntil the secondar% gain is taken care of b% some other beha$ior, the% will continue to go back to that as an anchor. (o there are two steps in the treatment of alcoholism. 'ne is making sure the secondar% gain gets picked up b% some other acti$it%7 the% can ha$e camaraderie but the% don.t ha$e to get drunk in order to get it. Eou ha$e to find out what their specific need is, because it.s different for e$er%one. 'nce %ou ha$e taught them effecti$e wa%s to get that secondar% gain for themsel$es without the necessit% of alcohol, then %ou anchor something else to take the place of the alcohol stimulus so the% dont ha$e to go through the alcohol state to get to the eFperiences that the% want and need. Ge.$e done single sessions with alcoholics that stick reall% well, as long as we make sure that those two steps are alwa%s in$ol$ed.

6an7 Do %ou make the basic assumption that an indi$idual is consciousl% able to tell %ou what the secondar% gain isI Ne$er/ Ge make the assumption that the% can.t. 3eframing in the siF0step format we did here has certain ad$antages that we talked about. 1or eFample, this format builds in a program which the person can use b% themsel$es later to make change in an% area of their life. Eou can also do this beha$iorall%. In fact, this is a strateg% and outline for beha$ioral therap% as well as what we.$e been doing here. In the more usual therapeutic relationship, the therapist takes responsibilit% for using all his $erbal and non0$erbal beha$ior to elicit responses, to get access to resources in parts of the person directl%, and to communicate with those parts. )he client in the normal therapeutic process will, in turn, become those parts. (Jhe will cr%, become angr%, delighted, ecstatic, etc. (Jhe will displa% with all output channels that sJ he has altered consciousness and has become the part that I want to communicate with. In reframing we take a step back in that process and ask that sJhe create a part that will ha$e the responsibilit% for maintaining an efficient, effecti$e internal communication s%stem between parts. ,owe$er, the same siF0step format can be used as an organi2ing principle for doing more usual kinds of therapeutic work. (tep one, identif%ing the pattern, is e"ui$alent in a normal therapeutic conteFt to

sa%ing "Ghat specific change would %ou like toda%I" and getting a congruent response. In usual therapeutic work there are a lot of wa%s of establishing communication with a part, as long as %ou are fleFible. )here.s pla%ing polarit%, for instance. (uppose that I.m with someone who is reall% depressed. 'ne wa% for me to contact the part in him that is reall% depressed is to talk directl% to him. If I want to contact the part that doesn!t want him to be depressed, I can sa% "-o%, %ou are depressing/ Eou are one of the most depressingI.ll bet %ou.$e been depressed %our whole life. Eou.$e ne$er had any eFperience other than being depressed, ne$er at all." "Gell, not m% whole life, but for the past" "'h no, I.ll bet it.s been %our whole life." "No, not m% whole life, last week I felt prett% good for about an hour...." In other words, b% eFaggerating the position that is offered to %ou, %ou get a polarit% response if %ou do it congruentl%. And as soon as the person accesses the polarit%, %ou can anchor it. Goman7 I ha$e a client who will sa% ")his is ridiculous/ I don.t want to do it." 1ine. (o whatI Goman7 Do %ou laugh at that pointI 'r do %ou, %ou know ... No. Gell, first of all, I.$e ne$er had an%bod% tell me that. And I think that.s because I do a lot of "set0ups" before I get into this. I do a lot of pacing, matching, mirroring. (o %ou might take this as a comment that %ou didn.t set up this person sufficientl% well. 'r %ou might take it as a signal that %ou #ust accessed the part that %ou need to communicate with. )heir beha$ior gi$es one set of messages and the $erbali2ation gi$es another. If %ou recogni2e that the part which is now acti$e and #ust told %ou that this is ridiculous is the part %ou need to communicate with an%wa%, then %ou don.t do it in the siF0step format. Eou immediatel% mo$e into the usual therapeutic format. Eou.$e alread% established communication with the part. 3each o$er and anchor it in the same wa% we were talking about earlier. )hat will alwa%s gi$e %ou access to that part whene$er %ou need it. )hat response is a successful response in the usual therapeutic format. Ghether %ou do it in the siF0step format or in the format of more normal therapeutic encounters, such as I #ust talked about, %ou now ha$e established a communication channel.

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)he important thing here

+arl Ghittaker has one nice reframing pattern that is apparentl% uni"uel% his. )he husband complains "And for the last ten %ears

:@: is to accept onl% reportsnot interpretations from the person.s conscious mind. If %ou accept interpretations, %ou.re going to fall into the same difficulties that the% are alread% in7 the communication between their conscious understanding and the unconscious intent is at $ariance. If %ou take sides %ou are going to loseunless %ou take sides with the unconscious, because the unconscious alwa%s wins an%wa%. If %our client refuses to ha$e an%thing to do with eFploring unconscious parts, %ou can sa% " ook, let me guarantee that the part of %ou that %ou are attacking consciousl%, the part of %ou that keeps %ou doing N, is doing something useful for %ou. I.m going to side with it against %our conscious mind until I am satisfied that this unconscious part of %ou has found patterns of beha$ior that are more effecti$e than what %ou are presentl% doing." Now, with that it.s $er% hard to get an% resistance. )hat.s been m% eFperience. (tep three of reframing is the ma#or component of what most people do when the% do famil% therap%. et.s sa% that %ou ha$e a father who loses his temper a lot. Hirginia (atir waits until he has eFpressed "uite a bit of anger. )hen she sa%s "I want to tell %ou that in m% %ears of doing famil% therap% I ha$e seen a lot of people who are angr%, and a lot of people could eFpress it. I think it.s important for e$er% human being to be able to eFpress what the% feel in their guts, whether its happiness, or anger like %ou #ust felt. I want to compliment %ou, and I hope all the other members of this famil% ha$e that choice." Now, that.s pacing7 "accept, accept, accept." And then she gets in real close to the father and sa%s "And would %ou be willing to tell me about those feelings of loneliness and hurt underneath that angerI" Another form of beha$ioral reframing is to sa% "Do %ou %ell at e$er%one like thatI Eou don.t %ell at the paper bo%I Eou don.t %ell at %our mechanicI Gell, are %ou tr%ing to tell her that %ou care about what she doesI Is that what this anger is aboutI I mean, I notice %ou don.t do it with people %ou don.t care about. )his must be a caring message. Did %ou know that this was his wa% of eFpressing that he cares what %ou doI" "Gell, how do %ou feel about knowing that nowI" ,ow man% of %ou ha$e heard Hirginia (atir sa% thatI )hat.s a weird sentenceC it doesn.t actuall% ha$e an% meaning. -ut it works/ )hat.s another eFample of beha$ioral reframing. It.s the same principle, but it in$ol$es content. )hat.s the onl% difference. :@; nobod% has e$er taken care of me. I He had to do e$er%thing for m%self and IHe had to de$elop this abilit% to take care of m%self. Nobod% e$er is solicitous toward me." +arl Ghittaker sa%s ")hank God %ou learned to stand on %our own feet. I reall% appreciate a man who can do that. Aren.t %ou glad %ou.$e done thatI" )hat.s a beha$ioral reframe. If a client sa%s "Gell, %ou know, I guess I.m #ust not the perfect husband," he sa%s ")hank God/ I.m so relie$ed/ I.$e had three perfect husbands alread% this week and they are so dull." Ghat he does is to re$erse the presupposition of the communication he.s recei$ing.

Ge originall% de$eloped reframing b% obser$ing Hirginia (atir in the conteFt of famil% therap%. Ge ha$e de$eloped se$eral other s%stematic models of reframing that will appear in a book titled "eframing8 57P and the Transformation of ,eaning. In that book we also appl% reframing to alcoholism, famil% therap%, corporate decision0making, and other specific conteFts. 'ne aspect of reframing was introduced %ears ago in the process called "brainstorming," a situation in which people simpl% free0associate and eFplicitl% suspend their usual #udgemental responses. Ghen brainstorming is conducted in an effecti$e wa%, people generate a lot more ideas than the% do in other modes of working together.

)he primar% wa% in which that works is that a reall% fine distinction is made between outcomes<what we are going to use this material forand the process of generating ideas with other human beings. 3eframing is the same principle applied more generall%. Ghat I.$e noticed o$er and o$er again in corporate work, in arbitration, or in famil% therap%, is that there will be a goal toward which a number of members in the s%stem want to mo$e. )he% begin to discuss some of the characteristics or dimensions, or ad$antages or disad$antages, of this future desired state. As the% do this, other members in$ol$ed in that negotiation beha$e as if the% feel compelled to point out that there are certain constraints that presentl% eFist in the organi2ation which make it impossible to do that. Now, what is missing is the time "uantifier. Indeed the% are correct. )here are constraints on the organi2ation or the famil% which make it impossible, concretel% speaking, to engage in that proposed beha$ior now. If %ou work as a consultant for an organi2ation or a famil%, %ou can teach people to distinguish between responses the% are making that are congruent with the description of the future state, and responses that are a characteri2ation of the present state. 'nce that is done, %ou a$oid about ninet%0fi$e percent of the bickering that goes on in
planning sessions. Eou con$ince the people in the organi2ation that it is useful for them to feel free to restrict themsel$es to discussing the future state, the desired state, propositions entirel% distinct from present state constraints. )his is an eFample of sorting out certain dimensions of eFperience, dealing with them in some useful wa%, and then later re0integrating them back into the s%stem. Eou also need a monitor. All of %ou ha$e had the following eFperience. Eou.re in an organi2ational meeting or a famil% s%stem. And no matter what an%one sa%s, there.s one person who takes issue with it. No matter what the proposal is, there is someone who beha$es as if it were their function in that s%stem to challenge the formulation that has #ust been offered. It.s a useful thing to be able to do, but it can also be $er% disrupti$e. Ghat techni"ues do %ou ha$e to utili2e what.s going on at that pointI Does an%bod% ha$e a wa% of dealing with that effecti$el%I Goman7 Eou can escalate itC ask them to do it more. (o %ou would use the gestalt thing of eFaggerating. Ghat.s the outcome %ou t%picall% getI Goman7 Ah, the% stop. )he% stop doing it. )hat.s a nice transfer from therap%. (he.s using one of the three patterns which are characteristic of -rief )herap% therapists, the pattern of prescribing the symptom. 1or instance, when somebod% comes to 6ilton Erickson and asks for assistance in losing weight, t%picall% he demands that sJhe gain eFactl% ele$en pounds in the neFt two weeks. )hat might seem to be irrational beha$ior on his part. ,owe$er, it.s "uite effecti$e, because one of two things will happen. Either the person will lose weighta polarit% response which is the outcome he is working toward an%wa%, or the% will gain ele$en pounds. )%picall% the% don.t gain ten or twel$e, the% gain ele#en. (ince the% were able to accomplish that, the beha$ioral presupposition is that the% can control what the% weigh. In either case it unstabili2es the situation. IHe ne$er heard of people stabili2ing. (omething alwa%s happens. It.s the same kind of maneu$er that (al$ador 6inuchin makes when he allies himself with a member of the famil% to throw the s%stem out of kilter. )his is a reall% nice eFample of a transfer of a therapeutic techni"ue to the organi2ational conteFt. et me offer %ou another utili2ation. As soon as %ou notice that the challenging beha$ior is disrupti$e, %ou can interrupt the process, and sa% " ook, one of the things I.$e disco$ered is that it.s useful to assign people specific functions in a group. In m% eFperience of consulting and working with organi2ations, I ha$e found that this is a useful wa% of organi2ing meetings.
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'ne group member keeps track of the ideas, and so on." )hen %ou can assign this person the function of being the challenger. Ghen a well0formed proposition is brought before the group b% an%one, or b% a se"uence of suggestions, his #ob is to challenge that formulation at some point. Eou eFplain that b% challenging the formulation, he will force the people making the proposal to make finer and finer distinctions and to hone their proposal into a form that will be effecti$e and realistic. EouHe prescribed the s%mptom, but %ou ha$e also institutionali2ed it. I.$e had the eFperience of simpl% prescribing the s%mptom, and at the neFt meeting the same thing happens, and I ha$e to do it again. 'ne wa% to make sure that %ou don.t ha$e to make that inter$ention o$er and o$er again is to institutionali2e it b% assigning the function of challenger to that person. Eou.$e essentiall% taken o$er the beha$ior. Now %ou can control when the challenges will be made. )his is an eFample of utili2ation. Eou don.t tr% to stop the problem beha$ior, %ou utili2e it. )he primar% metaphor for utili2ation is the situation where I ne$er fight against the energ% offered me b% an%one, or an% part of them. I take it and use it. Dtili2ation is the ps%chological counterpart of the oriental martial arts, such as Aikido or &udo. )his is a parallel strateg% for ps%chological martial arts. Eou alwa%s accept and utili2e the response, %ou dont fight or challenge the responsewith one eFception, of course. If the person.s presenting problem in$ol$es their running o$er people then %ou clobber them, because the presenting problem in$ol$es the $er% pattern that the% are using7 namel%, the% get their wa%. -ut, of course, that.s a paradoF, because if the% were really getting their wa%, the% wouldn.t be in %our office. (o let.s sa% that &im here makes a proposal and )on% is the gu% I ha$e assigned to be the challenger. Ghen )on% begins to interrupt, I sa% "EFcellent/ Good work, )on%/ Now, listen, )on%, what I think %ou ought to be sensiti$e to is that we ha$en.t %et gi$en &im enough rope to hang himself. (o let him make a more complete proposal and get responses from other people, and then ::: cue %ou and %ou #ump right on it. '*I" (o I.$e essentiall% deli$ered the message "Ees, but not %et." Goman7 )hat works if %ou are the outside consultant coming in, but what if %ou are alread% in the s%stemI If %ou are an inside consultant or %ou are a member of the s%stem at the same le$el of functioning, there ma% be people who would resent or :@A resist if %ou state it as your proposal. (o %ou ha$e to frame it appropriatel%. It.s not a proposal coming from you. It.s a proposal %ou are offering that comes from outside, which %ou think might be useful for %ou and the rest of the members of the group. Eou can do it metaphoricall%. Eou can sa% "I spent a fascinating e$ening the other night with a corporate consultant in +hicago. I went to a conference and the leader told us the following7" )hen %ou present all the information that I #ust presented to %ou. If %ou do that congruentl%, it will be an acceptable proposal. Eou can alwa%s suggest an eFperiential test to find out whether it.s worth doing. Eou can ask people to tr% it for two hours. If it works, people will continue it. If it doesn.t, %ou ha$ent lost much, and %ou don.t want to continue it an%wa%. I would like to point out that discussions where antagonistic positions are being presented are the life blood of an% organi2ation if the% are done in a particular conteFt. )hat conteFt is that %ou establish a frame around the whole process of argument, so that the disputes, the discussions of antagonistic proposals, are simpl% different wa%s of achie$ing the same outcome that all members agree upon. et me gi$e a content eFample. George and ,arr% are co0owners of a corporationC each owns fift% percent of the stock. I.$e been brought in as a corporate consultant. ,arr% sa%s the following7 "Ge.$e got to eFpand. Eou grow or %ou die. And specificall% we.$e got to open offices in Atlanta, +hattanooga, and 6iami this %ear." And George o$er here sa%s " ook,

%ou know as well as I do, ,arr%, that last %ear when we opened the +hicago and 6ilwaukee offices, we opened them on a shoestring. And as a matter of fact, the% still are not %et self0 sufficient. )he% are still not stabili2ed to the point that the% are turning o$er the amount of business that gi$es me the confidence to know that we can go ahead and eFpand into these other offices. Now how man% times do we ha$e to go through thisI" (o there.s a content difference between these two human beings about the neFt thing the% should do as a corporate entit%. 'ne strateg% that alwa%s works effecti$el% in this situation is to reframe the two responses that the% are offering as alternati$e wa%s of getting an outcome that the% both agree is desirable. (o first %ou ha$e to find the common goal establish a frame. )hen %ou instruct them in how to dispute each other.s proposals effecti$el%, because now both proposals are eFamples of how to achie$e the same outcome that the% both ha$e agreed upon. (ol would do something like the following7 " ook, let me interrupt :@< %ou for a moment. I #ust want to make sure that I understand %ou both. ,arr%, %ou want to eFpand because %ou want the corporation to grow and reali2e more income, rightI" I then turn to George and sa% "6% understanding is that %our ob#ection to the eFpansion at the moment, and %our focusing on the fact that the 6ilwaukee and +hicago offices are not "uite self0 sufficient %et, is %our wa% of being sure that the "ualit% of the ser$ices that %ou offer as a corporation are of a certain le$el. Eou are offering a "ualit% product and %ou want to maintain that "ualit%, because otherwise the whole thing won.t work an%wa%." And he.ll sa% "'f course. Gh% do %ou ask these thingsI" And then I sa% "'*, I think I understand now. Both of you agree that what %ou want to do is eFpand at a rate congruent with maintaining the high "ualit% of ser$ices %our corporation offers." And the%.ll both sa% "'f course." Eou.$e now achie$ed the agreement that %ou needC %ou.$e now got the frame. Eou sa% "Good. ;ince we agree on the outcome that we.re all working toward, let.s find the most effecti$e, efficient wa% to get that outcome. Now %ou, George, make a specific, detailed proposal about how %ou will know when the +hicago and 6ilwaukee offices are stabili2ed at a "ualit% of operation that allows %ou to feel comfortable about turning resources elsewhere to continue eFpanding. ,arr%, I want %ou to come up with the specific e$idence that %ou can use to know when it is appropriate to open new branches. Ghat will %ou see or hear that.s going to allow %ou to know that it is now appropriate to open a new office in +hattanooga, and still maintain the "ualit% of the ser$ices %ou.re going to offerI" 1irst I use language that generali2es, to establish the frame. )hen I make sure it is anchored in. ?;ince we all agree about the outcome,..." )hen I challenge them to take the proposals the%.$e been fighting o$ernow embedded in a conteFt of agreementback to the le$el of sensor% eFperience. I demand that each of them gi$e specific e$idence to support that their proposal is more effecti$e in achie$ing the outcome that the% ha$e both agreed upon. Now the% will ha$e useful disputes. And I will monitor their language to be sure that the% are being specific enough to make a good decision. Eou can alwa%s figure out what would constitute e$idence that one proposal is more effecti$e than another. et me gi$e %ou a specific strateg% for doing this. Eou listen to both complaint A and complaint -. )hen %ou ask %ourself "Ghat are A and - both eFamples ofI Ghat is the class or categor% that the% are both eFamples ofI Ghat is the outcome that both of these two people will :@@ shareI Ghat common intention lies behind or underneath both these two particular proposalsI" 'nce %ou disco$er that, then %ou interrupt and state the ob$ious in some wa%. Eou get an agreement between these two people, so that the% can then begin to usefull% disagree within the conteFt of agreement.

Now that has the same formal properties of what I did with Dick in the siF0step refraining. Ge found a point where his conscious mind and his unconscious mind could agree about a certain outcome that was useful for him as an indi$idual. ,arr% and George now agree that whate$er the% end up doing either one of their proposals, both, or some alternati$e to thosethe outcome the% are working toward is to benefit the corporate entit% as a unit. (o I ignore the specific beha$iors, and I go after an outcome that the two parts of the corporationor the two parts of the human beingcan agree upon. Now, ha$ing achie$ed the frame of agreement, it becomes tri$ial to $ar% beha$ior in order to find a beha$ior that achie$es the outcome that both partners can agree to. If %ou ha$e more than two people in$ol$edwhich is usuall% the case%ou can simplif% the situation b% organi2ing the discussion. &ust sa% " ook, I.m getting $er% confused b% the wa% we.re discussing things. et me organi2e it a little bit in the following wa%7 I want the rest of %ou to be eF"uisiti$el% attenti$e. Eou ha$e the #ob of watching and listening to eFactl% what these two people are going to propose, and assisting me in the process of finding what.s common about what the% want to do. Eou can reorgani2e it into pairs, and then work with one pair at a time. And as %ou do that, of course %ou are teaching the pattern to the obser$ers at the same time. !eople ha$e strange ideas about change. +hange is the onl% constant in m% thirt%0some %ears of eFperience. 'ne of the weird things that.s happenedand this is a reall% good eFample of natural anchoringis that change and pain are associated. )hose ideas ha$e been anchored together in western ci$ili2ation. )hat.s ridiculous/ )here.s no necessar% relationship between pain and change. Is there indaI )amm%I DickI )here is one class of human beings in which %ou ma% ha$e to create pain in order to assist them in changing, and that.s therapists. 6ost therapists intrinsicall% belie$eat the unconscious le$el as well as the conscious le$elthat change has to be slow and painful. ,ow man% of %ou at some point during the demonstrations ha$e said to %ourself ")hat.s too eas%C it.s too fast." If %ou eFamine the underl%ing presuppositions that cause %ou to respond that wa%, %ou.ll disco$er

that the% are associated with pain and time and mone% and stuff0some of which are reall% powerful and $alid economic considerations. 'thers are #ust #unk that ha$e been associated like change and pain. (o %ou might eFamine %our own belief structure, because what %ou belie$e will come out. It will be in %our tone of $oice, in %our bod% mo$ement, in the hesitation as %ou lean forward to do this work with someone. All the tools that we offer %ou are $er% powerful and elegant. )he% are the minimum that I think %ou need to operate, no matter what ps%chotheolog% %ou were pre$iousl% trained in. If %ou decide that %ou want to fail with this material, it.s possible to. )here are two wa%s to fail. I think %ou ought to be aware of what those are, so that %ou can make a choice about how %ou are going to fail if %ou decide to. 'ne wa% is to be eFtremel% rigid. Eou can go through eFactl% the steps that %ou saw and heard us go through here, without an% sensor% eFperience, without an% feedback from %our clients. )hat will guarantee that %ou will fail. )hat.s the wa% most people fail. )he second wa% %ou can fail is b% being reall% incongruent. If there.s a part of %ou that reall% doesn.t belie$e that phobias can be done in three minutes, but %ou decide to tr% it an%wa%, that incongruenc% will show up in %our non0$erbal communication, and that will blow the whole thing. E$er% ps%chotherap% that I know of has an acute mental illness within it. Each one thinks that their theor%, their map, is the territor%. )he% don.t think that %ou can make up something totall% arbitrar% and install it in someone and change them. )he% don.t reali2e that what the% belie$e is also made up and totall% arbitrar%. Ees, their method does elicit a

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response from people, and sometimes it works for the problem %ou.re working on. -ut there are a thousand other wa%s to go about it, and a thousand other responses. 1or eFample, )A has a thing called "reparenting" in which the% regress a person and gi$e him a new set of parents. And if it.s done appropriatel%, it will work. )he )A belief is that the person is messed up because when the% were a kid the% didn.t get certain kinds of eFperiences, so %ou ha#e to go back and gi$e them those eFperiences in order for them to be different. )hat.s the )A theolog%, and accepting that belief s%stem constitutes the mental illness of )A. )A people dont reali2e that %ou can get the same result a thousand other wa%s, and that some of them are a lot "uicker than reparenting. :@9 An% belief s%stem is both a set of resources for doing a particular thing, and a set of se$ere limitations for doing an%thing else. )he one $alue in belief is that it makes %ou congruent. )hat part is $er% usefulC it will make other people belie$e %ou. -ut it also establishes a huge set of limitations. And my belief s%stem is that %ou will find those limitations in %ourself as a person as well as in %our therap%. Eour clients are going to end up being a metaphor for %our personal life because %ou are making the ultimate tragic mistake. Eou belie$e that %our perceptions are a description of what realit% actuall% is. There is a way out of that. )he wa% out of that is to not belie$e what %ou.re doing. )hat wa% %ou can do things that don.t fit with "%ourself," "%our world," etc. I recentl% decided that I want to write a book titled, When you disco#er your real self, then buy this boo3 and become someone else. If %ou simpl% change %our belief s%stem, %ou will ha$e a new set of resources and a new set of limitations. ,a$ing the choice of being able to operate out of different therapeutic models is $er% $aluable in comparison to onl% being able to operate out of one model. If %ou belie#e an% of them, %ou will remain limited in the same wa% those models are limited. %ne wa% to get out of that is to learn to go into altered states in which %ou ma3e up models. 'nce %ou reali2e that the world in which %ou.re li$ing right now is completel% made up, %ou can make up new worlds. Now if we.re going to talk about altered states of consciousness, we first ha$e to talk about states of consciousness. Eou are at this moment in time conscious, true or not trueI Goman7 I think so. '*. ,ow do %ou 3now that %ou.re conscious at this momentI Ghat are the elements of %our eFperience that would lead %ou to belie$e that %ou are in %our normal state of consciousnessI I want to know what it is about this state of consciousness that allows %ou to know that %ou are here. Goman7 Ah, I can hear %our $oice. Eou can hear m% $oice, so %ou ha$e auditor% eFternal. Is an%one talking on the inside at this momentI Goman7 I ma% ha$e some internal $oices. Do %ouI Ghile %ou.re listening to me talk, is an%one else speakingI )hat.s what I want to know. And I.m going to continue to talk so that %ou can find out. Goman7 I... %es. :=8 Is it a he or a she or an itI Goman7 A she. All right. (o %ou ha$e some eFternal and internal auditor% eFperience. All )A people ha$e that. )he% ha$e a "critical parent," sa%ing "Am I doing this rightI" No one else does, thoughuntil the% go to a )A therapist, and then the% ha$e a critical parent. )hat.s what )A does for %ou. '*, what else ha$e %ou gotI Are %ou $isuali2ing while I.m speaking to %ouI

'*, so %ou ha$e some $isual eFternal eFperience. Are %ou ha$ing an% kinesthetic eFperienceI Goman7 Not until %ou mentioned it. '*. Ghat was itI Goman7 Ahhhhmmmm ... I can feel a tightness in m% #aw. Another wa% to get this would be to sa% "Ghat are %ou aware ofI" And %ou would tell me about %our state of consciousness at that moment in time. (o we ha$e specified auditor%, $isual, and kinesthetic. Eou weren.t percei$ing an% smells or taste, were %ouI Goman7 No. '*, I didn.t think %ou were. Now, my definition of altering %our state of consciousness is to change it from this to any other possible combination of these things. 1or eFample, if you were to onl% hear m% $oice and not %our internal dialogue, that would constitute an altered state for %ou because %ou don.t usuall% do that. 6ost of the time %ou talk to %ourself while other people are talking. If, instead of seeing eFternall%, %ou were to make clear, rich, $i$id, focused images of an%thing inside, that would be an altered state. 1or eFample, if %ou were to see the letters and numbers of the alphabet, an orange, %ourself sitting on the couch with %our hand on %our ear in an auditor% accessing position, the nodding of %our head.... Another thing is that %our kinesthetics are propriocepti$e. )ightness in the #aw is a lot different than the feeling of the couch, the warmth where %our hand touches %our face, the feeling of %our other hand... against %our thigh,... the beating of %our own heart,... the rise and fall of %our chest... as %ou breathe deepl%. )he intonation patterns of m% $oice,... the changing tonalit%,... the need to focus %our e%es... and the changing focus of %our pupils, ... the repeating blinking mo$ements, ... and the sense of weight.... Now, can %ou feel %our state of consciousness alterI )hat to me constitutes an altered state of consciousness. )he wa% to
:=: do it is to first find out what.s there, and then do something that makes something else come into consciousness. 'nce %ou are directing an altered state of consciousness, %ou can begin to make maneu$ers that add options, add choices. Goman7 I think at that point I was aware of what was happening and I could stop it if I had wanted to, so -ut %ou didn!t. Goman7 )hat.s right, but I don.t know about this argument of whether %ou can make somebod% go into an altered state or not. I.m still not Gell, it.s a stupid argument to begin with, because the onl% people who are going to resist %ou are people who 3now that %ou are doing it. And then I can get somebod% to resist me right into a trance, because all I ha$e to do is to instruct them to do one thing and the%.ll do the opposite. )he%.ll enter an altered state immediatel%. An eFample of that is a thing that mothers often sa% to children7 "Dont laugh.")he% induce altered states in their children b% pla%ing polarit%. *ids donT ha$e a choice about that until the% ha$e re"uisite $ariet%. Who can make whom do what, is a function of re"uisite $ariet%. If %ou ha$e more fleFibilit% in %our beha$ior than %our h%pnotist, then %ou can go into a trance or %ou can sta% out of a trance, depending upon what %ou want to do. ,enr% ,ilgard made up one h%pnotic induction and administered it to ten thousand people. (ure enough, he found out that onl% a certain percentage of them went into a trance. )he percentage that went into a trance were the ones that were either pre0adapted or fleFible enough to adapt to that h%pnotic induction. )he

Goman7 No, I.m seeing %ou on the outside.

rest of the people who were not fleFible enough to adapt to that particular h%pnotic induction could not go into a trance. Going into an altered state is nothing weird. 6ou all do it all the time. )he "uestion is whether %ou use the altered state to produce change, and if so, how are %ou going to use itI @nducing it is not that difficult. All %ou ha$e to do is talk about parameters of eFperience that the person isn.t aware of. )he "uestion is ",ow will %ou do it with whomI" If %ou ha$e a person who.s $er% $isual, %ou.re going to do something that.s $er% different than with someone like this woman here who talks to herself a lot and pa%s attention to the tightness in her #aw. 1or her, entering a state of consciousness where she makes rich, focused images would be altered. -ut for a $isual person that would be the normal state. In an altered state a person has more and different choices than she does in her normal conscious waking state. 6an% people think that :=; going into a trance means losing control. )hat.s where this "uestion "+an %ou make somebod% go into a tranceI" comes from. Ghat %ou.re ma3ing them do is to go into a state where the% ha$e more choices. )here.s a huge paradoF there. In an altered state of consciousness %ou do not ha$e %our usual model of the world. (o what %ou ha$e is an infinite number of possibilities. (ince I can represent states in terms of representational s%stems, I can use this as a calculus to compute what else must be possible. I can compute altered states that ha$e ne$er eFisted and achie$e them. I didn.t find that possibilit% a$ailable to me when I was a gestalt therapist or when I did other forms of therap%. )hose models didn.t offer these alternati$es. If %ou want to learn in detail how to induce and utili2e altered states, read our book Trance9formations8 57P and the ;tructure of =ypnosis. I ha$e a student now who I think is prett% good. 'ne of the things that I appreciate about him is that instead of "working on himself," he takes the time to enter altered states and gi$e himself new realities. I think most of the time when therapists work on themsel$es, all the% do is confuse themsel$es utterl% and completel%. 'nce a woman hired me to do a workshop. (he called me up three weeks before the workshop and said that she had changed her mind. (o I called m% attorne% and sued her. (he had months and months and months to plan the workshop and do what she had said she: would do. (he had spent all that time "working on" whether she was read% to do this or not. ,er therapist called me up to tr% to persuade me to not sue her. ,e said "Gell, it.s not like she hasn.t spent time on it. (he.s been working on this for months about whether she was read% to do this workshop." It seems to me that there was one ob$ious thing she could ha$e done7 she could ha$e called me up months and months earlier and told me that she was unsure. -ut instead of doing that, she tried to work out eFternal eFperience internally and consciously. And I think that.s a paradoF, as we.$e said o$er and o$er again. Ghen people come for therap%, if the% had the resources consciousl% a$ailable the% would ha$e changed alread%. )he fact that the% ha$en.t is what brings them there. Ghen %ou, as a therapist, consciousl% tr% to change %ourself, %ou.re setting %ourself up for confusion, and %ou.re likel% to go into all kinds of interesting, but not $er% useful, loops. 'ne student of mine came to me first as a client. ,e was a #unior in college at the time, and he said "I ha$e a terrible problem. I meet a girl, things go reall% fine, and then she comes and sleeps with me and
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e$er%thing is great. -ut the neFt morning as soon as I wake up, I think .Gell, either I ha$e to marr% her or kick her out of bed and ne$er see her again.." At that moment in time I was sort of ama2ed that a human being had actuall% said that to me/ I will ne$er cease to be ama2ed about how people can limit their world of eFperience. In his

world there were onl% those two choices/ I was working with &ohn at the time, and &ohn looked at him and said ",as it e$er occurred to %ou to #ust sa% .Good morning.I" and the student went "Dhhhhhhhhh/" I think that stunk as a therapeutic maneu$er, because now what.s he going to doI ,e.s going to sa% "Good morning," and then either put his foot in the center of her back and kick her out of bed, or propose marriage. )here are more possibilities than that. -ut as he entered that state of confusion and went "Dhhhhhhhhh/" I reached o$er and said "+lose %our e%es." And &ohn said "And begin to dream a dream in which %ou learn #ust how man% other possibilities there are, and %our e%es will be unable to open until %ou find them all." ,e sat there for siF and a half hours/ Ge went out in the other room. (iF and a half hours he was there coming up with possibilities. ,e couldn.t lea$e because his e%es wouldn.t open. ,e tried standing and walking, but he couldn.t find the door. All of the possibilities that he thought of in that siF and a half hour period had been a$ailable to him all along, but he had ne$er done an%thing to access his own creati$it%. 3eframing is a wa% of getting people to sa% ",e%, how else can I do thisI" In a wa% it.s the ultimate criticism of a human being, sa%ing "(top and think about %our beha$ior, and think about it in the following wa%7 o something newE what you!re doing doesn!t wor3B )ell %ourself a stor%, and then come up with three other wa%s of telling the stor%, and suddenl% %ou ha$e differences in %our beha$ior. )here.s an ama2ing thing about people7 when the% find something that doesn.t work, the% do it harder. 1or eFample, go to a #unior high school and watch kids on the pla%ground. 'ne kid comes up to another one and pushes him. (o the other kid sticks his chest out. )he neFt time the kid pushes him he can push him e$en better because he has a firm chest to put his hand against. 'ne thing that reall% hasn.t been understood is what.s possible if instead of approaching a problem directl%, %ou approach it indirectl%. 6ilton Erickson did what I think was one of the shortest cures that I.$e e$er heard about. )he stor% that I heard was that he was at the HA

hospital in !alo Alto in :9A@, and ps%chiatrists were waiting in line with patients out in the hall. )he% were coming in one at a time, and 6ilton was doing a little magic, doing this and doing that. )hen the% went back out in the hall and talked about how 6ilton wasn.t reall% doing these things and he was a charlatan. A %oung !hD ps%chologist, who was about as straight as %ou could get, brought in a se$enteen0%ear0old adolescent who had been knifing people and doing an%thing he could possibl% concei$e of that was damaging. )he kid had been waiting in line for hours and people had been coming out in somnambulistic trancesC the kid was going "Ahhhhhhhh ... Ghat are the% going to do to meI" ,e didn.t know if he was going to get electric shock or what. )he% brought him in and there was this man with two canes standing there behind the table, and an audience in the room. )he% walked up in front of the table. 6ilton said "Gh% ha$e %ou brought this bo% hereI" And the ps%chologist eFplained the situation, ga$e the case histor% as best he could. 6ilton looked at the ps%chologist and said "Go sit down." )hen he looked at the %oung bo% and said ",ow surprised will %ou be when all %our beha$ior changes completel% neFt weekI" )he bo% looked at him and said "::: be #ery surprised/" And 6ilton said "Get out. )ake these people awa%." )he ps%chologist assumed that 6ilton had decided not to work with the bo%. ike most ps%chologists, he missed the whole thing. NeFt week, the bo%.s beha$ior changed completel%, from top to bottom and from bottom to top. )he ps%chologist said that he could ne$er figure out what it was that 6ilton did. As I understand it, 6ilton onl% did one thing. ,e ga$e that bo% the opportunit% to access his own unconscious resources. ,e said "Eou will change, and %our conscious mind won.t ha$e an%thing to do with it. "Ne$er underestimate the usefulness of #ust sa%ing that to people. "I know that %ou ha$e a $ast arra% of resources a$ailable to %ou that %our

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conscious mind doesn.t e$en suspect. Eou ha$e the abilit% to surprise %ourself, each and e$er% one of %ou. "If %ou reall% congruentl% act as if people ha$e the resources and are going to change, %ou begin to induce impetus in the unconscious. 'ne of the things that I noticed about 6ilton when I first went to see him, was the incredible respect that he has for unconscious processes. ,e is alwa%s tr%ing to get demonstrations back and forth between conscious and unconscious acti$it%. In linguistics there is something called "the tip of the tongue" phenomenon. Do %ou all know what that isI )hat.s when %ou know a :=A word and %ou e$en 3now that %ou know the word, but %ou can.t sa% what it is. Eour conscious mind e$en knows that %our unconscious mind knows what the word is. I remind people of that as e$idence that their conscious mind is less than the tip of the iceberg. I once h%pnoti2ed a linguistics professor and sent his conscious mind awa% into a memor%. I asked if his unconscious mind knew what the "tip of the tongue" phenomenon wasbecause he had demonstrated it in man% of his classes. ,is unconscious mind said to me "Ees, I know what it is." I said "Gh% is it that if %ou know a word, %ou dont present it to his conscious mindI" And he said to me ",is conscious mind is too damn cock%." In our last workshop we were doing some things with strategies, and we programmed a woman to forget what her name was. A man there said ")here.s no way that I could possibl% forget m% name." I said "Ghat is %our nameI" And he said "J don!t 3nowB I said "+on0 gratulate %our unconscious mind, e$en though %ou don.t ha$e one." It is ama2ing to me that h%pnosis has been so s%stematicall% ignored. I think it.s been ignored mostl% because the conscious minds who practice it don.t trust it. -ut e$er% form of therap% I.$e studied has trance eFperiences a$ailable in it. Gestalt is founded on positi$e hallucination. )A is founded on dissociation. )he% all ha$e great $erbal inductions. At the last workshop we did there was a gu% who was skeptical through most of the da%. As I walked b%, during an eFercise, he was sa%ing to his partner "+an %ou allow %ourself to make this pictureI" )hat.s a hypnotic command. ,e had asked me downstairs if I belie$ed in h%pnosis/ Ghat I belie$e is that it.s an unfortunate word. It.s a name gi$en to lots and lots of different eFperiences, lots of different states. Ge used to do h%pnotic inductions before we did reframing. )hen we disco$ered that we could do reframing without ha$ing to put people into trance. )hat.s how we got into Neuro inguistic !rogramming. Ge thought "Gell, if that.s true, then we should be able to reframe people into doing e$er% deep trance phenomenon that we know about." (o we took a group of twent% people and in one e$ening we prorammed all the people in that group to do e$er% deep trance phenomenon we could remember ha$ing read about an%where. Ge found that we could get an% "deep trance phenomenon" without doing an% rituali2ed induction. Ge got amnesia, positi$e hallucination, tone0deafness, color blindnesse$er%thing. 'ne woman negati$el% hal0 :=< lucinated eslie for the entire e$ening. eslie would walk o$er and pick up the woman.s handC her hand would float up and she had no idea wh%. It was like those cartoons about ghosts and stuff. )hat.s as good as an% negati$e hallucination we e$er got doing h%pnosis. In the phobia techni"ue where %ou see %ourself standing there, and then float out of %our bod% and see %ourself there watching the %ounger %outhat.s a deep trance phenomenon. It re"uires positi$e hallucination, and getting out of %our own bod%. )hat.s fairl% ama2ing. Eet all %ou ha$e to do is gi$e somebod% the eFplicit instructions, and out of a hundred people, ninet%0fi$e can do it "uickl% and easil% as long as %ou don.t act as if it.s hard. Eou alwa%s act as if %ou.re leading up to something else that.s going to be difficult, so the% go ahead and do all the

deep0trance phenomena and alter their state. Neuro inguistic !rogramming is a logical step higher than an%thing that has been done pre$iousl% in h%pnosis or therap% only in the sense that it allows %ou to do things formall% and methodicall%. N ! allows %ou to determine eFactl% what alterations in sub#ecti$e eFperience are necessar% to accomplish a gi$en outcome. 6ost h%pnosis is a fairl% random process7 If I gi$e someone a suggestion, that person has to come up with a method of carr%ing it out. As a Neuro inguistic !rogrammer, e$en if I use h%pnosis, I would describe eFactl% what I want that person to do in order to carr% out the suggestion. )hat.s the onl% important. difference between what we.re doing here and what people ha$e been doing with h%pnosis for centuries. It.s a $er% important difference, because it allows %ou to predict outcomes precisel% and a$oid side0effects. Dsing reframing and strategies and anchoringall the tools of Neuro inguistic !rogramming%ou can get an% response %ou can get through h%pnosis. -ut then that.s onl% one wa% to go about it. Doing it through official h%pnosis is also interesting. And combining N ! and h%pnosis is e$en more interesting. 1or instance there is the "dreaming arm" techni"ue that works great with childrenand adults, too. 1irst %ou ask "Did %ou know %ou ha$e a dreaming armI" Ghen %ou ha$e their interest, %ou ask "Ghat is %our fa$orite )H showI" As the% access $isuall%, %ou notice which side their e%es go to. As the% do that, %ou lift up their arm on the same side, and sa% "I.m going to lift %our arm, and %our arm will go down only as fast as %ou watch that whole )H show, and %ou can begin right now. (o the kid watches his fa$orite )H show. Eou can e$en reach out and stop :=@ their arm for a moment and sa% "It.s time for a commercial" and install messages. Ill tell %ou the eFtremes %ou can take this to. I had a client who had a se$ere hallucination that was always with him. I could ne$er discern "uite what it was. ,e had a name for it which was a word I.d ne$er heard. It was a geometric figure which was ali$e and that followed him e$er%where. It was his own sort of personal demon, but he didn.t call it a demon. ,e could point to it in the room, and he interacted with it. Ghen I asked him "uestions, he would turn around and ask "Ghat do %ou thinkI" -efore he came to me he had been con$inced b% a therapist that this was a part of him. Ghether it was or not, I don.t know, but he was con$inced that this was a part of him that he had alienated. I reached o$er and said "I.m going to lift up %our arm, and I want %ou to put it down only as fast as %ou begin to integrate this.")hen I pulled his arm down "uickl%, and that was it. )he integration occurred whammo, slappobecause I had tied the two together with words. I once asked a )A therapist which part had total control o$er his conscious ongoing beha$ior. -ecause it didn.t seem that people had a choice about being their "parent," or their "child." (o he named some partC )A has names for e$er%thing. I said "Gould %ou go inside and ask that part if it would knock %our conscious mind out for a whileI" And he went "Ah, well... "I said "&ust go in and ask, and find out what happens." (o he went inside and asked the "uestion... and his head fell o$er to one side and he was gone/ It is ama2ing how powerful it is to use language. I don.t think people understand the impact of $erbal and non0$erbal language at all.

At the beginning of therap% sessions $er% often ::: sa% to people "If an%thing begins to occur to %our conscious mind which is too painful in an% wa%, I want to sa% to %our unconscious mind that I think it has the right and the duty to keep from %our conscious mind an%thing that is unpleasant. Eour unconscious resources can do that and the% should do itprotect %ou from thinking about things which are unnecessar% in that wa%, and make %our conscious eFperience more pleasant. (o if an%thing unpleasant begins to arise in %our conscious eFperience, %our unconscious mind can slowl% allow %our e%es to flutter closed, one of %our hands to rise up,

and %our conscious mind can drift awa% into a pleasant memor%, allowing me to speak pri$atel% with %our unconscious mind. -ecause I don.t know what the worst thing that e$er happened to %ou was...."
I.m sa%ing when N occurs, respond this wa%, and then I.m pro$iding N. I.m not sa%ing ?Thin3 about the worst thing that e$er happened." I.m sa%ing "I don.t know ..." )his is the same pattern that.s in &hanging with $amilies, the pattern of embedded "uestions. Hirginia ne$er sa%s "Ghat do %ou wantI" (he sa%s "Gee, I ask m%self wh% a famil% would tra$el siF thousand miles to see me. And I don.t know, and I.m curious." Ghen I sa% "I dont know eFactl% what the most painful and tragic eFperience of %our whole life was," it.ll be right there in consciousness. !eople do not process language consciousl%. )he% process language at the unconscious le$el. )he% can onl% become conscious of a $er% small amount of it. A lot of what is called h%pnosis is using language in $er% specific wa%s. It.s one thing to alter someone.s state of consciousness and to gi$e them new programs, new learnings, new choices. Getting them to 3now that the% He been in an altered state is something else entirel%. Different people ha$e different strategies b% which the% con$ince themsel$es of things. Ghat constitutes somebod%.s belief s%stem about what h%pnosis is, is $er% different from being able to use h%pnosis as a tool. It.s much easier to use trance as a therapeutic tool with people who don!t know that the%.$e been in a trance, because %ou can communicate so much more elo"uentl% with their unconscious processes. As long as %ou can establish unconscious feedback loops with that person, %ou.ll be able to alter their state of consciousness and the% are more apt to ha$e amnesia. 6% fa$orite case of this was a gu% named ,al. ,e came to a seminar that a student of mine had set up and at the last minute she decided that she was an inade"uate human being and left the (tate. )he people all showed up at the seminar and someone called me and said "All these people are here, what should I doI" It was nearb%, so I went o$er and I said "Gell, I.ll spend the e$ening with %ou. I don.t want to teach a seminar, but I would like to know what %ou all hoped to get." ,al said "I ha$e been to e#ery h%pnotist IHe e$er foundC I ha$e gone to e#ery seminar I could e$er find on h%pnosis, and I ha$e $olunteered m%self e#ery time, and I ha$e not gone into a trance." I thought that was dedication for somebod% who had failed o$er and o$er again. And so I thought "Gell, wow/ )his is reall% interesting. 6a%be this gu% reall% is an .impossible,. and ma%be there.s something interesting here." (o I thought I.d tr% it. I did a h%pnotic induction and :=9 the gu% went right through the floor/ ,e went into deep trance and he demonstrated all the most difficult h%pnotic phenomena. )hen I aroused him and said "Did %ou go into a tranceI" And he said "No." I said "Ghat happenedI" And he said "Gell, %ou were talking to me and I sat here and listened to %ou talk, and I closed m% e%es, and I opened m% e%es." I said "And did %ou NI" and I named one of the trance phenomena he had #ust demonstrated. And he said "No." (o I thought, "Ah/ well, it.s #ust a function of his amnesia." I h%pnoti2ed him again and ga$e him implicit h%pnotic commands to remember doing all the things he did. ,e still had no memor% whatsoe$er. All the people in the room, of course, were going cra2% because the%.$e seen him do all these things. I tried things like sa%ing ")ell ,al what %ou saw" and the% all told him. And he said ")hat.s not going to work on me. I didn.t do that. I would know if I did that." )he interesting thing about ,al was there was more than one of him, and the% had no connection with one another, no means of communicating with one another. (ol thought well, I.m going to ha$e to miF it up a little bit. I said "Ghile %ou remain in the conscious state, I.d like to ask %our unconscious mind to demonstrate to %ou that it can do things b% lifting %our hand so that onl% %our right arm is in trance." ,is arm began to
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in$oluntaril% float up. I thought "Now this is going to con$ince this gu%," because onl% his arm was in trance. And he looked me straight in the e%e and said "Gell, m% arm is in trance, but the rest of me can.t go in." -% the wa%, I ha$e a rule which sa%s I ha$e to succeed. (o I tried $ideotaping him and showing him the $ideotape. ,e couldn.t see it/ Ge.d turn on the $ideotape, and he.d #ust go into a trance and that was it. ,e could not watch the $ideotape. I told him that if he had not been in a trance, he would be able to watch the $ideotape. (o he sat there with the $ideotape machine, and he would turn it on and drop out. Ge.d turn it off and he.d come back. ,e.d turn it on again and drop out again. ,e sat there for the rest of the e$ening tr%ing to watch himself go into a trance. ,e couldn.t do it. (o he became con$inced that he had been in a trance, but he didn.t understand it. )his taught me a lesson. I stopped worr%ing about whether people knew the% were in trance or not and onl% noticed the results that I could get, utili2ing it as phenomenon of change. ,%pnotists do a terrible thing to themsel$es. ,%pnotists are alwa%s worried about con$incing people that the% ha$e been in trance, and it isn.t important. It is not :98 essential to their changingC it is not essential for anything. Ghether the% know that the%.$e gone into trance or not, the% will notice that the% ha$e the changes. )he same is true of anchoring and reframing. As long as %ou use sensor% eFperience to check %our work, it.s irrele$ant whether %our clients belie$e that the% ha$e changed. )he% will find out in eFperienceif the% bother to notice at all. )he information and patterns that we ha$e been presenting to %ou are formal patterns of communication that are content0free. They can be used in any conte+t of human communication and beha#ior. Ge ha$en.t e$en begun to figure out what the possibilities are of how to use this material. And we are $er%, $er%, serious about that. Ghat we are doing now is nothing more than the in$estigation of how to use this information. Ge ha$e been unable to eFhaust the $ariet% of wa%s to put this stuff together and put it to use, and we don.t know of an% limitations on the wa%s that %ou can use this information. During this seminar we ha$e mentioned and demonstrated se$eral do2en wa%s that it can be used. It.s the structure of eFperience. !eriod. Ghen used s%stematicall%, it constitutes a full strateg% for getting an% beha$ioral gain. Ge are $er% slowl% tapering off teaching and doing therap% because there.s a presupposition common in the field of clinical ps%cholog% which we personall% disagree with7 that change is a remedial phenomenon. Eou find something that is wrong and %ou fiF it. If %ou ask a hundred people "Ghat would %ou like for %ourself," ninet%0nine will sa% "I want to stop doing N." )here is an entirel% different wa% to look at change, which we call the generati#e or enrichment approach. Instead of looking for what.s wrong and fiFing it, it.s possible simpl% to think of wa%s that %our life could be enriched7 "Ghat would be fun to do, or interesting to be able to doI" "Ghat new capacities or abilities could I in$ent for m%selfI" ",ow can I make things reall% groo$%I" Ghen I was first doing therap% a man came in and said "I want to ha$e better relationships with people." I said "'h, so %ou ha$e trouble relating to peopleI" ,e said "No, I get along fine with people. I enAoy m% relationships a lot. I.d like to be able to do it e$en better.? ( looked into m% therap% bag to see what to do for him, and there wasn.t an%thing there/ Her% rarel% do people come in and sa% "Gell, I.m confident but, bo%, %ou know, if I were twice as confident things would be really :9: wonderful." )he% come in and sa% "I.m ne#er confident." I sa% "Are %ou sure of thatI" and

the% sa% "AbsolutelyB )he idea of generati$e change is reall% hard to sell to ps%chologists. -usiness people are much more interested, and the%.re more willing and able to pa% to learn how to do it. 'ften we do groups in which about half of them are business people, and half of them are therapists. I sa% "Now, what I want %ou to do is to go inside and think of three reall% different situations." )he business people go inside and sell a car, win a lawsuit, and meet somebod% the% reall% en#o%. )he therapists go inside and get beaten up as a child, ha$e a di$orce, and ha$e the worst professional failure and humiliation of their life/ Ge are currentl% in$estigating what we call generati$e personalit%. Ge are finding people who are geniuses at things, finding out the se"uence of unconscious programming that the% use, and installing those se"uences in other people to find out if ha$ing that unconscious program allows them to be able to do the task. )he "cloning" thing we did for the ad agenc% is an eFample of doing that at the corporate le$el. Ghen we do that, things which were problems, and would ha$e been meat for therap%, disappear. Ge completel% b%pass the whole phenomenon of working with problems, because when the structure is changed, e$er%thing changes. And problems are onl% a function of structure. 6an7 +an that present new problemsI Ees, but the% are interesting, e$olutionar% ones. E$er%thing presents problems, but the new ones are much more interesting. "Ghat are %ou going to e$ol$e %ourself to become toda%I" is a #ery different wa% of approaching change than "Ghere is it wrongI" or ",ow are %ou inade"uateI" I remember once I was in a group with a gestalt therapist and he said "Gho wants to work toda%I" Nobod% raised their hand. And he said ")here.s reall% no one in here that has a pressing problemI" !eople looked at each other, shook their heads, and said "No." ,e looked at the people and said "Ghat.s wrong with %ouI Eou are not in touch with what.s reall% going on if there.s no pain here." ,e reall% made that statementC I was flabbergasted. (uddenl% all these people went into pain. )he% all said "Eou.re right/ If I ha$e no pain, I.m not real." -oom, the% all went into pain, so then he had something to do therap% with. )hat model of change does not produce reall% generati$e, creati$e human beings. I want to make structures that are conduci$e to creating eFperiences which will result in people who are interesting. !eople :9; come out of therap% being lots of things, but rarel% interesting. I don.t think that it.s an%bod%.s fault. I think it.s a result of the whole s%stem and the presuppositions that underlie the s%stem of ps%chotherap% and counseling. 6ost people are totall% unconscious of what those presuppositions are. As I walked around watching and listening to %ou practicing refraining, I saw a lot of %ou re$erting to other patterns that I.m sure are characteristic of %our habitual beha$ior in therap%, rather than tr%ing something new. And that reminded me of a stor%7 (ome fifteen or so %ears ago when the Den$er 2oo was going through a ma#or reno$ation, there was a polar bear there, which had arri$ed at the 2oo before a naturalistic en$ironment was read% for it. !olar bears, b% the wa%, are one of m% fa$orite animals. )he% are $er% pla%fulC the% are big and graceful and do lots of nice things. )he cage that it was put in temporaril% was #ust big enough that the polar bear could take three nice, swinging steps in one direction, whirl up and around and come down and take three steps in the other direction, back and forth. )he polar bear spent man%, man% months in that particular cage with those bars that restricted its beha$ior in that wa%. E$entuall% a naturalistic en$ironment in which the% could release the polar bear was built around this cage, on0site. Ghen it was finall% completed, the cage was remo$ed from around the polar bear. Guess what happenedI ... And guess how man% of those students at that uni$ersit% are still going down the ma2e, still

tr%ing to find the fi$e0dollar billI )he% sneak in at night and run down the ma2e to look and see if it #ust might be there this time. Ge ha$e been deluging %ou with information for three da%s now, totall% o$erloading %our conscious resources. And we.d like to offer %ou a couple of allies in this process which we ha$e disco$ered are helpful to some people. Do people read +arlos +astenada hereI ,e.s a whacko multiple personalit% with an Indian friend. )here.s a section in book two or three in which Don &uan gi$es a piece of ad$ice to +arlos. Ge would not gi$e this piece of ad$ice to an% of %ou, but we will repeat it for whate$er it.s worth. Eou see, what &uan wanted to do to +arloswhich we wouldn.t, of course, want to do to %ou was to find some wa% of moti$ating him to be congruent and eFpressi$e in his beha$ior at all times, as creati$e as he could be as a human being. ,e wanted to mobili2e his resources so that each act that +arlos performed would be a full representation of :9B all the potential that was a$ailable to himall the personal power that he had that was a$ailable to him at an% moment in time. (pecificall% what &uan told +arlos was "At an% moment that %ou find %ourself hesitating, or if at an% moment %ou find %ourself putting off until tomorrow tr%ing some new piece of beha$ior that %ou could do toda%, or doing something %ou.$e done before, then all %ou need to do is glance o$er %our left shoulder and there will be a fleeting shadow. )hat shadow represents %our death, and at an% moment it might step forward, place its hand on %our shoulder and take %ou. (o that the act that %ou are presentl% engaged in might be %our $er% last act and therefore full% representati$e of %ou as %our last act on this planet." 'ne of the wa%s %ou can use this constructi$el% is to understand that it is indulgent to hesitate. Ghen %ou hesitate, %ou are acting as though %ou are immortal. And %ou, ladies and gentlemen, are not. Eou don.t e$en know the place and the hour of %our death. And so one thing %ou can do... to remind %ourself that not to bother to hesitate is not to act unprofessional... is to #ust suddenl% glance o$er %our left shoulder and remember that death is standing there, and make death %our ad$isor. ,e or she will alwa%s tell %ou to do something representati$e of %our full potential as a person. Eou can afford no less. Now, that.s a little bit hea$%. )hat.s wh% we wouldn.t tell that to %ou. Ge noticed that &uan told +arlos. Ge offer %ou an alternati$e. If at an% point %ou disco$er %ourself hesitating, or being incon0gruent, or putting off until tomorrow something %ou could tr% now, or #ust needing some new choices, or being bored, glance o$er %our right shoulder and there will be two madmen there, sitting on stools, insulting %ou. And as soon as we finish the insults, %ou ma% ask us an% "uestion. And that.s #ust one wa% that %our unconscious can present to %ou all the material that it has learned and represented during these three da%s. Now, there.s onl% one other thing that we like to do at the end of a workshop. And that is to sa%.... Goodb%e/

5ote
It is a common eFperience with man% people when the% are introduced to Neuro0 inguistic !rogramming and first being to learn the techni"ues, to be cautious and

concerned with the possible uses and misuses of the technolog%. Ge full% recogni2e the great power of the information presented in this book and whole0heartedl% recommend that %ou eFercise caution as %ou learn and appl% these techni"ues of a practitioner of N !, as a protection for %ou and those around %ou. It is for this reason that we also urge %ou to attend onl% those seminars, workshops, and training programs that ha$e been officiall% designed and certified b% 3ichard -andler or &ohn Grinder. )hese will be most often presented under the auspices of Grinder, De o2ier P Associates or 3ichard -andler and Associates. Griting both the following addresses is a wa% to insure 3ichard -andler or &ohn Grinders. full endorsement of the "ualit% of ser$ices andJor training represented as N !. 3ichard -andler P Associates :B;;B -lack 6tn. 3d U:0>;9 (an Diego, +A 9;:;9 Grinder, De o2ier P Associates :8@@ (mith Grade -onn% Doon, +A 9A8<8 )he addresses abo$e are also sources for a $ariet% of N ! books and products.

;elected Bibliography
Andreas, (te$eC and Andreas, +onnirae. &hange 6our ,ind<and Heep the &hange. :9=@ 4cloth ?:;.88, paper ?=.A85 ,andler, 3ichard. -sing 6our Brain<for a &=A5GE. :9=A 4cloth ?::.88, paper ?@.A85. ,andler, 3ichardC and Grinder, &ohn. "eframing8 5euro97inguistic Programming and the Transformation of ,eaning. :9=; 4cloth ?:;.88 paper ?=.A85 Grinder, &ohnC and ,andler, 3ichard. Trance9formations8 5euro97inguistic Programming and the ;tructure of =ypnosis. :9=: 4cloth ?:;.88, paper ?=.A85 'rder the abo$e books from7

V 3eal !eople !ress -oF1 6oab, D) =>AB; 4=8:5 ;A90@A@=

)here is also an eFcellent monthl% N ! News #ournal, Anchor Point. Grite or call for current subscription information7 Anchor Point, !.'. -oF ;<@98, akewood, +' =8;;<. 4B8B5 9=A0BA;;.