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FORGIVENESS: LETTING GO OF THE PAST AND PAIN

Some people are enslaved to their past and pain and burn with anger, resentment, and even bitterness. They just cant seem to let go cant forgive. Although it is a challenging issue in everyday life, forgiveness is essential in the healing process. I. Forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity. Godly forgiveness vs human forgiveness A. Godly forgiveness:

B. Human forgiveness:

C. Different perspective: Many bring this approach, Forgive because it will bless YOU. It will make you feel freer. It will make you happier. It will make you healthier. I believe that forgiveness does all of those things, but I think we should forgive primarily because it blesses the one forgiven. Something to think about; In our own times of needing to forgive, do our hearts really go the route of wanting the OTHER person feeling blessed?

II. Definitions A. Unforgiveness:

B. Forgiveness:

C. Forgiveness is NOT: Denying that a wrong occurred. Calling wrong right (justification/rationalization). Condoning (it doesnt matter). Pardoning or exonerating (choosing not to hold a person accountable). Excusing (there were a lot of good reasons). Reconciling (restoring trust through trustworthy

D. People can get over unforgiveness many ways besides forgiving: Can you name a few?

E. Letting go: Deferring judgment to God Forbearing

III. Understanding forgiveness and unforgiveness A. Unforgiveness People perceive an event as a hurt or offense. People respond with fear or anger (or commonly, a mixture of both). People ruminate about the event, aftermath, and consequences and perhaps engage in vengeful rumination. People develop cold emotions of unforgiveness. B. Forgiveness Positive emotions replace or attach to negative emotions of unforgiveness. Such an experience is possible because: 1. God intervenes sovereignly. 2. Personal prayer for the one who hurt or offended. 3. Events lead a person to experience such emotions in the presence of unforgiveness cues. i. Reading a book or seeing a movie that precipitates an emotional experience, which gets attached to the unforgiveness event. ii. Being moved in worship or private devotions to forgive. iii. Having a person apologize for a wrong done to someone, which softens feelings, such as being reminded of love for the person. iv. Experiencing an intervention in which a helper leads the person to events that focus their attention and emotions on forgiving.

People make willful decisions to forgive People change their understanding of the situation. People empathetically identify with the person who hurt them and humbly sense a kinship with the person, stimulating them to forgive.

Think of some situations in your own life that you feel have brought hurt and/or offense. Ask yourself these questions: Did I perceive the situation correctly? Do I hold unforgiveness? Am I willing to forgive? PRAYER: Father, I dont know everything about the people involved in the hurtful situations in my life. Im not sure Im holding unforgiveness and Im not sure if Im willing to forgive. I need your help. Give me wisdom and guidance into this area of forgiveness. In Jesus Name!

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