Nerdy Pickup Lines

Pick-up lines relating to everything math/science You know why we should let time approach infinity? Because d = v t! and " want to go all the way with you# "s the room shrinking? Because you$re getting hotter %y the second& Looking at you made my 'aw go from ()*+ to ()terminal+ in milliseconds# ,ey %a%e! " was going to measure the spring constant of my %ed tonight and " could! you know! use an assistant# "f you know what " mean# -+ ).e could make some forced oscillations#+ /re you cos01)2+? Because "$m sin01)2+ and together we are one# Ba%y! we must %e a sine wave! %ecause we$re always oscillating# " wish " could %e your derivative so " could %e tangent to your curves# 3y attraction to you is an inversed s4uare law# 5ould " get your significant digits? You$ve got my mind going in circular motion& Nice %louse# But it would look even %etter accelerating at 6#7 m/s01 toward my %edroom floor# " wish " was your integral so " could %e the area under your curves# *88*8**8 **8***** *88*88** *88*8888 *888*88* *88**8*8 **8***** *8888**8 *88*8888 *888*8*8 You$re more special than relativity# =+ "f you wanna learn a%out simple harmonic motion! " can always teach you9 "n our circuit of love! there is no resistance! only capacitance# You and me! that$s grand unification right there# .ow you$re pretty# You must %e a 3ac& .e$re moving pretty fast! this situation has some momentum& /re you the s4uare root of 1? Because my love for you is irrational& ,ey %a%e# .hat$s your resonance fre4uency?

" think we$re on the same wavelength! so who cares if we$re going a little fast! as long as it$s constructive# :ust looking at you turns my software into hardware# ,eisen%erg was wrong# " know e2actly where you$ll %e tonight# stalkerish "$ve got so much pent-up potential energy# .anna help me convert it into9 kinetic energy? "t$s so hot in here# "s it glo%al warming! or is it you? ,ey %a%e! wanna see the e2ponential growth of my natural log? " wish you were my pro%lem set! $cause then you$d %e hard! and "$d %e doing you on my desk9 or on my %ed9 or in the li%rary9 You$re so hot you make my unit vector go from ' to k and dilate all the way# Love is a matter of 5hemistry! ;e2 is a matter of Physics# "f our love was of the form a < %i! % would %e =ero $cause we keep it real# 3ath is the %asis of everything# /pplied math is physics# /pplied physics is chemistry# /pplied chemistry is %iology# /pplied %iology is fun# => .hy don$t we measure the coefficient of kinetic friction %etween you and me? " wish " were your second derivative so that " could investigate your concavities# "f " were an en=yme! " would %e >N/ helicase so that " could un=ip your genes# "f " was chlorophyll a! you$d %e the sun! %ecause you e2cite my electrons# /re you 12? Because " want to integrate you from 8* to 8?& 3y love for you is like a concave up function %ecause it is always increasing# ,ow $%out you and me go %ack to my place and form a covalent %ond? ) with a dipole moment => + You and " would add up %etter than a @iemann ;um# You$re sweeter than fructose# You$re hotter than a %unsen %urner set to full power& You know what they say a%out men with %ig hard drives don$t you?

You can put a tro'an on my hard drive anytime9 " want to see the area under YAB@ curve# "f " were to say /hold hand! would " get the response /slap? 5an my su%strate %ind with your active site! or are you allosterically inhi%ited? .ow9you$re a strong nucleophile and " love your %ack-side attack## " wish " were /denine so " could %e paired with B# "f i was an endoplasmic reticulum! how would you want meC smooth or rough? You know## it$s not the length of the vector that counts9 it$s how you apply the force# You compute me# By visually measuring the wrinkles in the front of your pants! calculating your %ody mass %ased on your height and weight! and dividing that num%er %y your waist si=e D " conclude that you have a%solutely nothing in your pocket and are! in fact! glad to see me# >o you think we can make it a step more serious and disa%le network sharing? Ba%y! you are as mysterious as the random re%oot pro%lems "$m having with my Linu2 server& .ould you like to share my %andwidth? " have a really fat pipeline# " 8-sin)theta+ you# "f you and " were the ideal gas law e4uation )P( = n@E+! how would my pressure and volume affect your temperature? Put your golgi %ody ne2t to mine& " wish we were vectors so " could put my head to your tail# Your love is sweeter than ?#8F8G61HGH9 Your chest is 'ust like crystalC a rigid! geometrical structure# You must %e gravity! %a%y! %ecause you$re the only thing keeping me here# " must %e trippin$ %ecause only acid rain could show me a hallucination as gorgeous as you# /re your pants %eing entropically unfavora%le! or are you 'ust happy to see me? ,ey %a%y! what$s your activation energy? $cause " %et " could catalyse my way across those curves --+

Iorget 3icrosoft! "$m 3acrohard# ,ow many concurrent users can you handle? " wish " were the derivative of your natural logarithm so " could %e the one over B# "f " were an en=yme! "$d %e >N/ integrase so " could put myself in your genes& "f " were making the periodic ta%le of elements! "$d put Branium and "odine together# /re the stars out tonight? J5ause you have one heavenly %ody# " wanna react to completion with you# "$d like to look at you through a telescope so " can check out your celestial %ody# Ba%y! " know my chemistry! and you$ve got one significant figure# " wish " could %e the Patriot /ct so " could violate your privacy# Let me e4ual awesome! and you e4ual awesome# Ehen if you go into me! we %ecome one& "$m so emo! %ecause " know "$ll never get to touch your asymptote# ,i# "$m an astronaut! and my ne2t mission is to e2plore Branus# >o you work for BP;? " could have sworn " saw you checking out my package 3y love for you is like diarrhea! " 'ust can$t hold it in " wish " was a viral vector so " could transduct my material onto you# You must %e a lanthanide %ecause you are definitely a rare earth element# You are an alkali metal %ecause you are reactive to my salt-forming halogens# " think you would like my amps divided %y volts# 5an you %e my other %onding pair so you can %end my molecular geometry 8*G degrees? " wish " was 5olum%us so " could e2plore your virgin island# 5an you help me prove Lamarck$s theory of use and disuse? points to pelvic region "n chem we learn >imensional /nalysis# ;o can " analy=e your dimensions? ;o the Biot-;avart e4uation says to the solenoidC KEhat$s not your Poynting vector! that$s my wife&L " hear you$re an electron# /llow me to introduce myselfC 3y name is fluorine# ,ey are you singular? J5ause if so! together we could %e plural# -+

You can come into my proteasome! if you$ve got some B%i4uitone to %ind to my protein lid# " wish we were doing vector addition so we could go head-to-tail# Iorget dipole-dipole attractions- " feel we have an ionic %ond& You$re so cool! "$ve got to measure you in Melvin# "f " were a neurotransmitter! " would %e dopamine so " could activate your reward pathway# ,ey %a%y! ;N8 or ;N1 attack? "f he knows his organic chemistry! then he$ll choose ;N1 and release his electrons from the %ackside# ,ey %a%y! you and " should form a car%on-car%on dou%le %ond so " can o2idate your cleavage# "f you were a sterically hindered su%strate! " wouldn$t mind! " want to %e closer to you#