A 1r|bute to My 8rother

Ior those of you I do not know or have not met, I am

I|mmy kath, Lddy's o|der brother. It seems a ||tt|e b|t
|ron|c that I was the brother who spent so many years
push|ng my younger brother away and now that I wou|d
be g|ven the pr|v||ege today to come up for a few m|nutes
and ta|k a ||tt|e b|t about Lddy and what th|s past year
has meant to us as a fam||y. I have a|ready come to
terms w|th the fact that I may not ho|d |t together
throughout th|s so, so |f that bothers you, you may want
to come to terms w|th |t as we|| !.

I|rst and foremost, we as a fam||y need to offer many
thanks to those who he|ped care for and |ove Lddy
espec|a||y over th|s past year. We want to thank a|| of
the med|ca| fac|||t|es, doctors, nurses, and staff that
he|ped care for Lddy at the Mayo C||n|c, the G|ft of L|fe
nouse, Mercy nosp|ta|, St. Luke's nosp|ta|, and f|na||y
hosp|ce care. We need to offer a very spec|a| thank you
to a|| of the p|aces of emp|oyment that ass|sted |n
support|ng events for Lddy such as kusse||'s 8ar |n
Annanda|e and espec|a||y the work, |ove and support
g|ven to Lddy and our fam||y by the staff at Grandma's
kestaurant |n Du|uth.

1here are of course some other |nd|v|dua|s who were of
|mmeasurab|e he|p to our fam||y and to Lddy throughout
h|s batt|e w|th cancer. k|ta, our fam||y w|shes to offer
you a very spec|a| thank you for the count|ess hours you
spent, m||es you trave|ed, sacr|f|ces you made, and the
compass|on, |ove, and support that you showed to Lddy
throughout h|s batt|e w|th cancer. We often d|scussed as
a fam||y that we d|d not know where you came from but
you were an abso|ute Godsend to Lddy and to our fam||y.
ou w||| cont|nue to ho|d a very spec|a| p|ace |n our
hearts. As Lddy moved from the Mayo and back to
8uffa|o, |t became very c|ear that there was rea||y on|y
one p|ace that he wanted to ||ve and that was w|th h|s
best fr|end Darren 1aze|aar and h|s w|fe Abby. It |s
|mposs|b|e for us as a fam||y to express how gratefu| we
are that you opened your house up to both Lddy and to
us as he comp|eted h|s f|na| |eg |n the race. ou were a
great fr|end to Lddy and our fam||y |ooks at you as one of
our own.

Now I don't th|nk |t was a co|nc|dence that Lddy choose
to go to spend h|s f|na| days at h|s fr|end's house rather
than mov|ng |n w|th a fam||y member. Lddy was a b|t of
a un|que cat and he had an ab|||ty to connect w|th peop|e
wherever he went. 1he fr|ends that he made over the
years showed up |n masses when he needed them most.
Desp|te a|| the other |ssues assoc|ated w|th Iacebook,
th|s too| a||owed Lddy to connect w|th and rece|ve a
connect|on back from so many of you when |t was not
poss|b|e to be w|th h|m face to face. ne commented to
my dad |n the past year, "It's unbe||evab|e, I [ust put
down a few words and a|| of a sudden |ove arr|ves." It |s
|mposs|b|e for me to ||st and thank a|| of the fr|ends that
Lddy had that he|ped h|m throughout h|s ||fe and |n th|s
past year. So from our fam||y, p|ease accept th|s as a
very persona| thank you to a|| of you whom Lddy ca||ed
h|s fr|ends.

Lddy's ab|||ty to connect w|th peop|e and make fr|ends
was one of h|s greatest attr|butes and g|fts that he
offered to th|s wor|d. Where there was darkness, he had
a un|que ab|||ty to br|ng ||ght. In th|nk|ng about how I
wou|d descr|be Lddy, I attempted to th|nk of one word
that wou|d best encapsu|ate a|| that he was. I asked
fam||y members, ta|ked w|th fr|ends, read Iacebook
posts, prayed, med|tated, and contemp|ated. et the
more I thought, the more rest|ess I became. Lddy was
pos|t|ve, k|nd-hearted, happy, compass|onate, and
strong. ne was a son, a father, a brother, a nephew, an
unc|e, a cous|n, and a fr|end. ne |oved the outdoors,
be|ng w|th nature, f|sh|ng and hunt|ng. So what CNL
word cou|d I poss|b|y choose to descr|be h|m?

After Lddy passed, we were charged w|th p|ck|ng out
passages and read|ngs to use at the mass today. When
we came to our second read|ng, my mom was rest|ess
w|th the cho|ces she had and asked to |ook at a b|b|e.
She opened |t and the verse she chose was from
Cor|nth|ans 13. At f|rst we to|d her, "Mom that |s k|nd of
a read|ng more for wedd|ngs and ce|ebrat|ons. It's not
rea||y meant for a funera|." 1hen as we sat there and
read the passage and thought of the ||fe we had w|th
Lddy, the answer seemed more and more c|ear that th|s
was |ndeed the passage to chose. ou see Lddy, ||ke a||
of us, was many th|ngs but the greatest th|ng he ever was
and offered was LCVL. ne was the guy who cou|d ||ve |n
h|s veh|c|e for over a month so that he cou|d move c|oser
to h|s son and te|| you |t wasn't so bad, the guy who
cou|d ||sten |ntent|y when you descr|bed what you were
dea||ng w|th and offer a s|mp|e gent|e sm||e, he was the
guy who cou|d |et you know that |t was a|| go|ng to work
out, and even |n h|s darkest days, he offered a sm||e and
when asked how he was he m|ght offer a response ||ke,
"I|ner that frog's ha|r man. It's a good day."

So how |s |t, that even |n the face of darkness he cou|d
offer th|s? I be||eve that the answer and the word that
best descr|bes Lddy |s LCVL. Lven though over the years
Lddy spent perhaps more hours w|th h|s fr|ends than he
d|d h|s own fam||y, I have come to the be||ef that th|s was
not because he d|dn't care for h|s fam||y-|t was because
that he abso|ute|y knew that he cou|d a|ways count on
them and they wou|d a|ways be there. 1hat he had an
abso|ute|y fa|th that they wou|d cont|nue to be there |n
good t|mes and |n bad. Lddy was the brother who wou|d
show up for fam||y ho||days on "Lddy t|me," wh|ch may
be an hour |ate or perhaps not at a||. At d|fferent t|mes, I
wou|d be upset w|th Lddy and th|nk that he took h|s
fam||y's |ove for granted. And perhaps somet|mes he d|d.
8ut when you |ook at what |ove rea||y |s, we see that |t |s
g|ven free|y, w|thout cond|t|ons, and w|thout hes|tat|on.
And Lddy's ab|||ty to g|ve that |ove, rested |arge|y |n the
Love he rece|ved from h|s fam||y.

Ior those of you not as fam|||ar w|th our fam||y, I wou|d
||ke to te|| you a ||tt|e b|t about us. Lddy was the son of
two |ov|ng parents and he was a kath. ne was the
second born to my mother and a m|dd|e ch||d who came
|nto a fam||y of 6 other k|ds wh|ch 4 years |ater
numbered 8. n|s o|dest S s|b||ngs had |ost the|r mother,
Conn|e, some S years ear||er. My father, I|m, then
marr|ed my mother, Mary Ann. A few years |ater they
had me and see|ng that they had obv|ous|y done
someth|ng wrong, they dec|ded to try aga|n. I|fteen
months |ater Lddy was born. 1hen four years |ater, they
had the|r |ast ch||d. After that they f|gured out how th|s
was happen|ng and dec|ded to not engage |n that act any
more.

Grow|ng up as a kath was not necessar||y the typ|ca|
fam||y upbr|ng|ng. We d|d strange th|ngs ||ke catch
m|nnows and f|sh, trap an|ma|s, and butcher turt|es. Lddy
d|d a|| of these th|ngs and was proud of where he came
from because |t he|ped def|ne whom he was. ne was
we|| known |n our house as Irogger Ld after my s|ster
She||y pa|d tr|bute to h|m |n one of her h|gh schoo|
papers. 8e|ng a younger s|b||ng, Lddy was sub[ect to the
typ|ca| s|b||ng peck|ng order that somet|mes |eft h|m w|th
|ess than the others. Desp|te these ear|y ch||dhood
r|va|r|es, or perhaps as a resu|t of them, Lddy became a
human be|ng that was a|ways a fan of the underdog and
who d|sp|ayed an unwaver|ng ab|||ty to f|ght even when
the cards were stacked aga|nst h|m. ne was a man who
|ooked to f|nd a s||ver ||n|ng, to offer encourag|ng words,
and to offer LCVL to a|| whose paths he crossed.

M|ke, after Lddy was d|agnosed w|th cancer he
commented on more than one occas|on that a|though he
d|d not a|ways get a|ong w|th you, that you were h|s
hero. our examp|e of be|ng ab|e to stand proud |n the
face of advers|ty was someth|ng that he drew from often
as he batt|ed through ||fe d|ff|cu|t|es and throughout h|s
own batt|e w|th cancer. ou showed h|m the ab|||ty to be
beaten down and to get back up aga|n. 1o f|ght ||ke a
w||d an|ma|. 1h|s ab|||ty to f|ght and to cont|nue to try
was someth|ng he then shared w|th so many others and
he cou|d not have done that w|thout you.

V|cky, you were perhaps a second ear|y mother for Ld |n
so many ways. ou were the f|rst s|b||ng to |ook to spo||
Lddy at a young age by tak|ng h|m for tr|ps for |ce cream
wh||e the rest of us stayed at home. ou offered
whatever resources you had to h|m and to others
throughout h|s ||fe and espec|a||y dur|ng th|s past
year. our unwaver|ng |ove for h|m was someth|ng he
cou|d a|ways count on and you prov|ded an |ncred|b|e
examp|e to h|m and to a|| of us of how to g|ve w|thout
expectat|on. 1h|s was a g|ft that he passed on to many
others.

N|ck, be|ng a ma|e m|dd|e ch||d, you a|ways had a spec|a|
bond w|th Lddy. ne shared many character|st|cs w|th
you and you prov|ded a wonderfu| examp|e of the
|mportance of d|scover|ng who you are so that you cou|d
be comfortab|e |n your own sk|n. our examp|e of the
|mportance of be|ng a father and be|ng there for your
k|ds was someth|ng that Lddy respected great|y about
you and someth|ng he shared w|th others as we||.

She||y, you have a|ways been the |nformed fam||y
careg|ver. ou spent |nsane hours research|ng, trave||ng
w|th, and s|tt|ng bes|de Mom and Lddy's s|de so that you
cou|d keep the rest of the fam||y up to speed on how
th|ngs were go|ng. ou prov|ded a composed face when
news was bad and a soft shou|der when |t was needed.
ou cared for Ahnyx often and a||owed Lddy to |earn
|essons on h|s own w|thout [udgment from you. 1h|s was
a tra|t that you showed Lddy and you a||owed h|m to
share w|th others.

Sus|e, you have a|ways been and w||| a|ways be our
fam||y's sens|t|ve ||tt|e sou| who |s qu|ck to |augh and
qu|ck to cry. ou offered a warm hug to Lddy and many
other fam||y members and a|ways |et h|m know |t was
okay to |et h|s emot|ons out. ou offered h|m great |ove
and the ab|||ty to |et h|m know that there |s a t|me to
|augh and there |s a t|me to cry and that a|| th|ngs w|||
take care of themse|ves |n t|me. n|s ab|||ty to share h|s
emot|ons w|th others and to a||ow them to share them
w|th h|m was a great g|ft you offered h|m.

kusty, you have a|ways been your fam||y's easy target to
|ook at as be|ng spo||ed, our Go|den 8oy, but you have
a|ways been a|| of our pr|de and [oy. Lddy, perhaps more
than any other s|b||ng, was one of your greatest s||ent
fans. ne never |ooked at you |n [ea|ousy but rather w|th
a s|mp|e sm||e of amazement. As you have accomp||shed
d|fferent goa|s |n your ||fe, he has a|ways shook h|s head
and sm||ed, stat|ng how unbe||evab|e that he thought |t
was you cou|d do certa|n th|ngs. 1he g|ft you offered
Lddy and that he shared w|th others was hope.

Ahnyx, there are some th|ngs that you shou|d know
about your dad and how much he |oved you. Lddy was
not the most respons|b|e of peop|e that ever graced the
wor|d but when you were born, h|s pr|or|t|es were
|nstant|y changed. ne cou|d stare for hours at your face
and he |mmed|ate|y knew that one of the ma|n reasons
he came to th|s earth was to be a father. When he and
your mom dec|ded they were no |onger go|ng to be
together, your dad knew that the most |mportant th|ng
he cou|d do was cont|nue to be w|th you. ne sacr|f|ced
||v|ng cond|t|ons, f|nances, and a prox|m|ty to o|d fr|ends
and fam||y so that he cou|d be c|ose to you. ne |oved and
ta|ked about a|| the days that he cou|d come to your
schoo|, coach your sports teams, and for the weekends
he cher|shed w|th you. our mom has a|ways known th|s
and has been so he|pfu| |n |ett|ng you be w|th h|m
whenever he cou|d. ne was SC SAD that he cou|d not be
w|th you as you grow o|der but you need to know that he
|s a|ways w|th you. Lvery t|me you th|nk of h|m, a|though
you may cry, you can a|so sm||e and know that he on|y
ever |ooked at w|th you |n comp|ete adorat|on and |ove.
Above a|| he wanted you to a|ways fee| h|s presence and
|ove.

Dad and Mom. It |s |mposs|b|e for me to descr|be how
gratefu| we a|| our to have you as parents and what |t
means to be a part of the fam||y you have fostered. It
seems a b|t serend|p|tous that today you ce|ebrate your
41
st
wedd|ng ann|versary. 1he |ove you show to on
another and to a|| of us |s an |ncred|b|e g|ft. 1he |oss we
fee| may never be comp|ete|y f|||ed but you have a|ways
shown us that w|th fam||y and |ove, we can wa|k through
anyth|ng. 1hroughout Lddy's batt|e, you have been the
ones to offer the |dea that a|though we don't know why
bad th|ngs happen to good peop|e, that each c|oud
conta|ns a s||ver ||n|ng. 1he s|mp|e |dea that we are a||
connected to one another, that there |s no waste |n God's
economy. 1hat prayers may be answered |n ways we
never fu||y understand. Lddy's batt|e was a horr|f|c
exper|ence to watch but what |t offered |n terms of an
examp|e to those around h|m may be someth|ng we can
never fu||y quant|fy. Lddy's batt|e a||owed others to
gather together, to g|ve of themse|ves, to put th|ngs |n
perspect|ve, and to not take the t|me we are g|ven for
granted. Lddy fought each day and up unt|| h|s |ast
moments to be a||ve. A|though not the most re||g|ous
man, he was deep|y sp|r|tua| and be||eved |n a power
greater than h|mse|f that connected us a||. ne fu||y
rea||zed that to be a part of th|s wor|d was a g|ft and
shou|d be treated as such. ne a||owed us a|| to see, to
fee|, and to exper|ence the nCL that th|ngs wou|d work
out. ne |et us pract|ce a IAI1n that a|though we d|dn't
know what wou|d happen, |t wou|d a|| be okay. 8ut most
of a||, he a||owed us to LCVL. Ia|th, nope, and Love. 8ut
the greatest of these |s Love.

So 8rother, as we b|d farewe|| to you today, we want to
thank you for a|| that you d|d and a|| that you were. We
w||| pay tr|bute to you by tak|ng t|me to s|ow down, to
th|nk of others needs f|rst, to cont|nue to f|ght when we
fee| we cannot, and most |mportant|y we w||| show LCVL.
our f|ght |s now over Lddy- It's Go 1|me. We |ove you.