Raymond Carver 1938-1988 Introduction from The Norton Anthology of American Literature (Volume E) Nina Baym Editor.

Minimal fiction; designer fiction; even dirty fiction!" a #$rase t$e Britis$ maga%ine Granta used to c$aracteri%e t$e ne& style of 'merican &riting t$at &as su##osedly #olluting t$e realistic s$ort story &it$ unconventional! irrealistic tec$ni(ues)t$ese &ere terms tossed around *y critics of an a*ru#tly ne& style of &or+ t$at at times seemed to dominate t$e 198,s. -o#ulari%ed *y Bo**ie 'nnMmason! 'nn Beattie! .rederic+ Bart$elme! and Barry /anna$ as &ell! its c$ief #ractitioner &as a master of fine arts graduate from t$e 0niversity of Io&a1s 2riters 2or+s$o#! 3aymond 4arver! &$ose collections Will you Please Be Quiet, Please 519678! What We Tal! a"out When We Tal! a"out Lo#e 519818! and $athe%ral 519838 set t$e most imitated style of t$eir generation. Moved to #ut some order to t$ese many definitions! &riter 9o$n Bart$)&$ose nonrealistic! innovative &or+ $ad $el#ed c$aracteri%e t$e &riting of t$e decades *efore)coined t$e term -ost-'lco$olic Blue-4ollar Minimalist /y#errealism to descri*e t$e sc$ool 4arver may $ave inadvertently founded. ' recovering alco$olic! 4arver $ad also &or+ed as a :anitor! sa&mill $and! delivery #erson! and sales re#resentative! suggesting t$e #rofile Bart$ $ad in mind. But more #ertinent to t$e style of $is fiction &as $is training at Io&a and teac$ing in creative &riting #rograms at universities around t$e country. By t$e time of $is deat$! $is *ecame t$e most acce#ted style in suc$ academic #rograms and in t$e literary maga%ines t$ey generated. ;$is style1s success is im#ortant. 2it$ conventions of literary realism $aving *een c$allenged and t$eorists (uestioning all suc$ #reviously sta*le assum#tions! readers of Bart$! <onald Bart$elme! =urt >onnegut! and ot$er suc$ e?#erimenters may $ave felt t$at sim#le realism &as no longer an u#-to-date &ay in &$ic$ to &rite. 3aymond 4arver #roved t$at it &as! and t$at #revious c$allenges to realistic tradition $ad only made it all t$e more effective! es#ecially &$en t$ose c$allenges are incor#orated in t$e ne& style. 4arver1s #atient narration does not strive for a reader1s sus#ension of dis*elief. 3at$er! as in t$e introduction of t$e *i%arre situation e?#erienced in 4at$edral" 5#rinted $ere8! its #lain! even flat statement #resented matter unadorned *y devices meant to #ersuade or convince. @o a *lind man &ants to learn &$at t$e arc$itecture of a cat$edral suggestsA /ere it is! 4arver1s story saysB &$at you see is &$at t$ere is; ta+e it or leave it; if you are *lind! $e &ill $el# you feel your &ay t$roug$! *ut never as a direction to meaning! only to an a##re$ension of t$e facts. 4arver1s c$aracters are usually &or+ing-class #eo#le some&$at do&n on t$eir luc+. Cften! alco$ol figures in t$eir lives! less as a stimulant t$an as a furt$er de#ressant. ;otally une?ce#tional! t$eir failures! li+e t$eir $o#es! are small! even #uny. But from suc$ stri##ed do&n essentials t$e aut$or is a*le to &rite in a #lain! sim#le manner! stic+ing to t$e a*solute minimum so t$at no one can accuse $im of trying to create illusions. Muc$ &as made of 3aymond 4arver1s alco$olism and recovery. /e made no a#ologies for $is $ard! sometimes a*usive life! t$e rigors of &$ic$ contri*uted to ill $ealt$ and an early deat$. /is stories and #oems $ave t$e same (uiet toug$ness to t$em! not flam*oyant in confrontation &it$ life1s meanness *ut dedicated to $olding on against time1s slo&ly destructive friction &it$ a grittiness all t$eir o&n. ;$e te?t is from $athe%ral 519838.

Raymond Carver - Cathedral

;$is *lind man! an old friend of my &ife1s! $e &as on $is &ay to s#end t$e nig$t. /is &ife $ad died. @o $e &as visiting t$e dead &ife1s relatives in 4onnecticut. /e called my &ife from $is inla&1s. 'rrangements &ere made. /e &ould come *y train! a five-$our tri#! and my &ife &ould meet $im at t$e station. @$e $adn1t seen $im since s$e &or+ed for $im one summer in @eattle ten years ago. But s$e and t$e *lind man $ad +e#t in touc$. ;$ey made ta#es and mailed t$em *ac+ and fort$. I &asn1t ent$usiastic a*out $is visit. /e &as no one I +ne&. 'nd $is *eing *lind *ot$ered me. My idea of *lindness came from t$e movies. In t$e movies! t$e *lind moved slo&ly and never laug$ed. @ometimes t$ey &ere led *y seeing-eye dogs. ' *lind man in my $ouse &as not somet$ing I loo+ed for&ard to. ;$at summer in @eattle s$e $ad needed a :o*. @$e didn1t $ave any money. ;$e man s$e &as going to marry at t$e end of t$e summer &as in officers1 training sc$ool. /e didn1t $ave any money! eit$er. But s$e &as in love &it$ t$e guy! and $e &as in love &it$ $er! etc. @$e1d seen somet$ing in t$e #a#erB /ED- 2'N;E<)3eading to Blind Man! and a tele#$one num*er. @$e #$oned and &ent over! &as $ired on t$e s#ot. @$e &or+ed &it$ t$is *lind man all summer. @$e read stuff to $im! case studies! re#orts! t$at sort of t$ing. @$e $el#ed $im organi%e $is little office in t$e county social-service de#artment. ;$ey1d *ecome good friends! my &ife and t$e *lind man. Cn $er last day in t$e office! t$e *lind man as+ed if $e could touc$ $er face. @$e agreed to t$is. @$e told me $e touc$ed $is fingers to every #art of $er face! $er nose)even $er nec+E @$e never forgot it. @$e even tried to &rite a #oem a*out it. @$e &as al&ays trying to &rite a #oem. @$e &rote a #oem or t&o every year! usually after somet$ing really im#ortant $ad $a##ened to $er. 2$en &e first started going out toget$er! s$e s$o&ed me t$e #oem. In t$e #oem! s$e recalled $is fingers and t$e &ay t$ey $ad moved around over $er face. In t$e #oem! s$e tal+ed a*out &$at s$e $ad felt at t$e time! a*out &$at &ent t$roug$ $er mind &$en t$e *lind man touc$ed $er nose and li#s. I can remem*er I didn1t t$in+ muc$ of t$e #oem. Cf course! I didn1t tell $er t$at. May*e I :ust don1t understand #oetry. I admit it1s not t$e first t$ing I reac$ for &$en I #ic+ u# somet$ing to read. 'ny&ay! t$is man &$o1d first en:oyed $er favors! t$is officer-to-*e! $e1d *een $er c$ild$ood s&eet$eart. @o o+ay. I1m saying t$at at t$e end of t$e summer s$e let t$e *lind man run $is $ands over $er face! said good-*ye to $im! married $er c$ild$ood etc.! &$o &as no& a commissioned officer! and s$e moved a&ay from @eattle. But t$ey1d +ee# in touc$! s$e and t$e *lind man. @$e made t$e first contact after a year or so. @$e called $im u# one nig$t from an 'ir .orce *ase in 'la*ama. @$e &anted to tal+. ;$ey tal+ed. /e as+ed $er to send $im a ta#e and tell $im a*out $er life. @$e did t$is. @$e sent t$e ta#e. Cn t$e ta#e! s$e told t$e *lind man s$e loved $er $us*and *ut s$e didn1t li+e it &$ere t$ey lived and s$e didn1t li+e it t$at $e &as a #art of t$e militaryindustrial t$ing. @$e told t$e *lind man s$e1d &ritten a #oem and $e &as in it. @$e told $im t$at s$e &as &riting a #oem a*out &$at it &as li+e to *e an 'ir .orce officer1s &ife. ;$e #oem &asn1t finis$ed yet. @$e &as still &riting it. ;$e *lind man made a ta#e. /e sent $er t$e ta#e. @$e made a ta#e. ;$is &ent on for years. My &ife1s officer &as #osted to one *ase and t$en anot$er. @$e sent ta#es from Moody '.B! McFuire! Mc4onnell! and finally ;ravis! near @acramento! &$ere one nig$t s$e got to feeling lonely and cut off from #eo#le s$e +e#t losing in t$at movingaround life. @$e got to feeling s$e couldn1t go it anot$er ste#. @$e &ent in and s&allo&ed all t$e #ills and ca#sules in t$e medicine c$est and &as$ed t$em do&n &it$ a *ottle of gin. ;$en s$e got G

into a $ot *at$ and #assed out. But instead of dying! s$e got sic+. @$e t$re& u#. /er officer)&$y s$ould $e $ave a nameA $e &as t$e c$ild$ood s&eet$eart! and &$at more does $e &antA)came $ome from some&$ere! found $er! and called t$e am*ulance. In time! s$e #ut it all on ta#e and sent t$e ta#e to t$e *lind man. Cver t$e years! s$e #ut all +inds of stuff on ta#es and sent t$e ta#es off lic+ety-s#lit. Ne?t to &riting a #oem every year! I t$in+ it &as $er c$ief means of recreation. Cn one ta#e! s$e told t$e *lind man s$e1d decided to live a&ay from $er officer for a time. Cn anot$er ta#e! s$e told $im a*out $er divorce. @$e and I *egan going out! and of course s$e told $er *lind man a*out it. @$e told $im everyt$ing! or so it seemed to me. Cnce s$e as+ed me if I1d li+e to $ear t$e latest ta#e from t$e *lind man. ;$is &as a year ago. I &as on t$e ta#e! s$e said. @o I said o+ay! I1d listen to it. I got us drin+s and &e settled do&n in t$e living room. 2e made ready to listen. .irst s$e inserted t$e ta#e into t$e #layer and ad:usted a cou#le of dials. ;$en s$e #us$ed a lever. ;$e ta#e s(uea+ed and someone *egan to tal+ in t$is loud voice. @$e lo&ered t$e volume. 'fter a fe& minutes of $armless c$itc$at! I $eard my o&n name in t$e mout$ of t$is stranger! t$is *lind man I didn1t even +no&E 'nd t$en t$isB .rom all you1ve said a*out $im! I can only conclude) But &e &ere interru#ted! a +noc+ at t$e door! somet$ing! and &e didn1t ever get *ac+ to t$e ta#e. May*e it &as :ust as &ell. I1d $eard all I &anted to. No& t$is same *lind man &as coming over to slee# in my $ouse. May*e I could ta+e $im *o&ling!" I said to my &ife. @$e &as at t$e draining *oard doing scallo#ed #otatoes. @$e #ut do&n t$e +nife s$e &as using and turned around. If you love me!" s$e said! you can do t$is for me. If you don1t love me! o+ay. But if you $ad a friend! any friend! and t$e friend came to visit! I1d ma+e $im feel comforta*le." @$e &i#ed $er $ands &it$ t$e dis$ to&el. I don1t $ave any *lind friends!" I said. Hou don1t $ave any friends!" s$e said. -eriod. Besides!" s$e said! goddamn it! $is &ife1s :ust diedE <on1t you understand t$atA ;$e man1s lost $is &ifeE" I didn1t ans&er. @$e1d told me a little a*out t$e *lind man1s &ife. /er name &as Beula$. Beula$E ;$at1s a name for a colored &oman. 2as $is &ife a NegroA" I as+ed. 're you cra%yA" my &ife said. /ave you :ust fli##ed or somet$ingA" @$e #ic+ed u# a #otato. I sa& it $it t$e floor! t$en roll under t$e stove. 2$at1s &rong &it$ youA" s$e said. 're you drun+A" I1m :ust as+ing!" I said. 3ig$t t$en my &ife filled me in &it$ more detail t$an I cared to +no&. I made a drin+ and sat at t$e +itc$en ta*le to listen. -ieces of t$e story *egan to fall into #lace. 3

Beaula$ $ad gone to &or+ for t$e *lind man t$e summer after my &ife $ad sto##ed &or+ing for $im. -retty soon Beula$ and t$e *lind man $ad t$emselves a c$urc$ &edding. It &as a little &edding)&$o1d &ant to go to suc$ a &edding in t$e first #laceA):ust t$e t&o of t$em! #lus t$e minister and t$e minister1s &ife. But it &as a c$urc$ &edding :ust t$e same. It &as &$at Beula$ $ad &anted! $e1d said. But even t$en Beula$ must $ave *een carrying t$e cancer in $er glands. 'fter t$ey $ad *een inse#ara*le for eig$t years)my &ife1s &ord! inse#ara*le)Beula$1s $ealt$ &ent into a ra#id decline. @$e died in a @eattle $os#ital room! t$e *lind man sitting *eside t$e *ed and $olding on to $er $and. ;$ey1d married! lived and &or+ed toget$er! sle#t toget$er)$ad se?! sure)and t$en t$e *lind man $ad to *ury $er. 'll t$is &it$out $is $aving ever seen &$at t$e goddamned &oman loo+ed li+e. It &as *eyond my understanding. /earing t$is! I felt sorry for t$e *lind man for a little *it. 'nd t$en I found myself t$in+ing &$at a #itiful life t$is &oman must $ave led. Imagine a &oman &$o could never see $erself as s$e &as seen in t$e eyes of $er loved one. ' &oman &$o could go on day after day and never receive t$e smallest com#liment from $er *eloved. ' &oman &$ose $us*and could never read t$e e?#ression on $er face! *e it misery or somet$ing *etter. @omeone &$o could &ear ma+eu# or not)&$at difference to $imA @$e could if s$e &anted! &ear green eye-s$ado& around one eye! a straig$t #in in $er nostril! yello& slac+s! and #ur#le s$oes! no matter. 'nd t$en to sli# off into deat$! t$e *lind man1s $and on $er $and! $is *lind eyes streaming tears)I1m imagining no&)$er last t$oug$t may*e t$isB t$at $e never even +ne& &$at s$e loo+ed li+e! and s$e on an e?#ress to t$e grave. 3o*ert &as left &it$ a small insurance #olicy and $alf of a t&enty-#eso Me?ican coin. ;$e ot$er $alf of t$e coin &ent into t$e *o? &it$ $er. -at$etic. @o &$en t$e time rolled around! my &ife &ent to t$e de#ot to #ic+ $im u#. 2it$ not$ing to do *ut &ait)sure! I *lamed $im for t$at)I &as $aving a drin+ and &atc$ing t$e ;> &$en I $eard t$e car #ull into t$e drive. I got u# from t$e sofa &it$ my drin+ and &ent to t$e &indo& to $ave a loo+. I sa& my &ife laug$ing as s$e #ar+ed t$e car. I sa& $er get out of t$e car and s$ut t$e door. @$e &as still &earing a smile. 9ust ama%ing. @$e &ent around to t$e ot$er side of t$e car to &$ere t$e *lind man &as already starting to get out. ;$is *lind man! feature t$is! $e &as &earing a full *eardE ' *eard on a *lind manE ;oo muc$! I say. ;$e *lind man reac$ed into t$e *ac+seat and dragged out a suitcase. My &ife too+ $is arm! s$ut t$e car door! and! tal+ing all t$e &ay! moved $im do&n t$e drive and t$en u# t$e ste#s to t$e front #orc$. I turned off t$e ;>. I finis$ed my drin+! rinsed t$e glass! dried my $ands. ;$en I &ent to t$e door. My &ife said! I &ant you to meet 3o*ert. 3o*ert! t$is is my $us*and. I1ve told you all a*out $im." @$e &as *eaming. @$e $ad t$is *lind man *y $is coat sleeve. ;$e *lind man let go of $is suitcase and u# came $is $and. I too+ it. /e s(uee%ed $ard! $eld my $and! and t$en $e let it go. I feel li+e &e1ve already met!" $e *oomed. Di+e&ise!" I said. I didn1t +no& &$at else to say. ;$en I said! 2elcome. I1ve $eard a lot a*out I

you." 2e *egan to move t$en! a little grou#! from t$e #orc$ into t$e living room! my &ife guiding $im *y t$e arm. ;$e *lind man &as carrying $is suitcase in $is ot$er $and. My &ife said t$ings li+e! ;o your left $ere! 3o*ert. ;$at1s rig$t. No& &atc$ it! t$ere1s a c$air. ;$at1s it. @it do&n rig$t $ere. ;$is is t$e sofa. 2e :ust *oug$t t$is sofa t&o &ee+s ago." I started to say somet$ing a*out t$e old sofa. I1d li+ed t$at old sofa. But I didn1t say anyt$ing. ;$en I &anted to say somet$ing else! small-tal+! a*out t$e scenic ride along t$e /udson. /o& going to Ne& Hor+! you s$ould sit on t$e rig$t-$and side of t$e train! and coming from Ne& Hor+! t$e left-$and side. <id you $ave a good train rideA" I said. 2$ic$ side of t$e train did you sit on! *y t$e &ayA" 2$at a (uestion! &$ic$ sideE" my &ife said. 2$at1s it matter &$ic$ sideA" s$e said. I :ust as+ed!" I said. 3ig$t side!" t$e *lind man said. I $adn1t *een on a train in nearly forty years. Not since I &as a +id. 2it$ my fol+s. ;$at1s *een a long time. I1d nearly forgotten t$e sensation. I $ave &inter in my *eard no&! $e said. @o I1ve *een told! any&ay. <o I loo+ distinguis$ed! my dearA" t$e *lind man said to my &ife. Hou loo+ distinguis$ed! 3o*ert!" s$e said. 3o*ert!" s$e said. 3o*ert! it1s :ust so good to see you." My &ife finally too+ $er eyes off t$e *lind man and loo+ed at me. I $ad t$e feeling s$e didn1t li+e &$at s$e sa&. I s$rugged. I1ve never met! or #ersonally +no&n! anyone &$o &as *lind. ;$is *lind man &as late forties! a $eavy-set! *alding man &it$ stoo#ed s$oulders! as if $e carried a great &eig$t t$ere. /e &ore *ro&n slac+s! *ro&n s$oes! a lig$t-*ro&n s$irt! a tie! a s#orts coat. @#iffy. /e also $ad t$is full *eard. But $e didn1t use a cane and $e didn1t &ear dar+ glasses. I1d al&ays t$oug$t dar+ glasses &ere a must for t$e *lind. .act &as! I &is$ $e $ad a #air. 't first glance! $is eyes loo+ed li+e anyone else1s eyes. But if you loo+ed close! t$ere &as somet$ing different a*out t$em. ;oo muc$ &$ite in t$e iris! for one t$ing! and t$e #u#ils seemed to move around in t$e soc+ets &it$out $is +no&ing it or *eing a*le to sto# it. 4ree#y. 's I stared at $is face! I sa& t$e left #u#il turn in to&ard $is nose &$ile t$e ot$er made an effort to +ee# in one #lace. But it &as only an effort! for t$at one eye &as on t$e roam &it$out $is +no&ing it or &anting it to *e. I said! Det me get you a drin+. 2$at1s your #leasureA 2e $ave a little *it of everyt$ing. It1s one of our #astimes." Bu*! I1m a @cotc$ man myself!" $e said fast enoug$ in t$is *ig voice. 3ig$t!" I said. Bu*E @ure you are. I +ne& it." /e let $is fingers touc$ $is suitcase! &$ic$ &as sitting alongside t$e sofa. /e &as ta+ing $is J

*earings. I didn1t *lame $im for t$at. I1ll move t$at u# to your room!" my &ife said. No! t$at1s fine!" t$e *lind man said loudly. It can go u# &$en I go u#." ' little &ater &it$ t$e @cotc$A" I said. >ery little!" $e said. I +ne& it! I said. /e said! 9ust a tad. ;$e Iris$ actor! Barry .it%geraldA I1m li+e t$at fello&. 2$en I drin+ &ater! .it%gerald said! I drin+ &ater. 2$en I drin+ &$is+ey! I drin+ &$is+ey." My &ife laug$ed. ;$e *lind man *roug$t $is $and u# under $is *eard. /e lifted $is *eard slo&ly and let it dro#. I did t$e drin+s! t$ree *ig glasses of @cotc$ &it$ a s#las$ of &ater in eac$. ;$en &e made ourselves comforta*le and tal+ed a*out 3o*ert1s travels. .irst t$e long flig$t from t$e 2est 4oast to 4onnecticut! &e covered t$at. ;$en from 4onnecticut u# $ere *y train. 2e $ad anot$er drin+ concerning t$at leg of t$e tri#. I remem*ered $aving read some&$ere t$at t$e *lind didn1t smo+e *ecause! as s#eculation $ad it! t$ey couldn1t see t$e smo+e t$ey e?$aled. I t$oug$ I +ne& t$at muc$ and t$at muc$ only a*out *lind #eo#le. But t$is *lind man smo+ed $is cigarette do&n to t$e nu**in and t$en lit anot$er one. ;$is *lind man filled $is as$tray and my &ife em#tied it. 2$en &e sat do&n at t$e ta*le for dinner! &e $ad anot$er drin+. M &ife $ea#ed 3o*ert1s #late &it$ cu*e stea+! scallo#ed #otatoes! green *eans. I *uttered $im u# t&o slices of *read. I said! /ere1s *read and *utter for you." I s&allo&ed some of my drin+. No& let us #ray!" I said! and t$e *lind man lo&ered $is $ead. My &ife loo+ed at me! $er mout$ aga#e. -ray t$e #$one &on1t ring and t$e food doesn1t get cold!" I said. 2e dug in. 2e ate everyt$ing t$ere &as to eat on t$e ta*le. 2e ate li+e t$ere &as no tomorro&. 2e didn1t tal+. 2e ate. 2e scarfed. 2e gra%ed t$e ta*le. 2e &ere into serious eating. ;$e *lind man $ad rig$t a&ay located $is foods! $e +ne& :ust &$ere everyt$ing &as on $is #late. I &atc$ed &it$ admiration as $e used $is +nife and for+ on t$e meat. /e1d cut t&o #ieces of t$e meat! for+ t$e meat into $is mout$! and t$en go all out for t$e scallo#ed #otatoes! t$e *eans ne?t! and t$en $e1d tear off a $un+ of *uttered *read and eat t$at. /e1d follo& t$is u# &it$ a *ig drin+ of mil+. It didn1t seem to *ot$er $im to use $is fingers once in a &$ile! eit$er. 2e finis$ed everyt$ing! including $alf a stra&*erry #ie. .or a fe& moments! &e sat as if stunned. @&ear *eaded on our faces. .inally! &e got u# from t$e ta*le and left t$e dirty #lates. 2e didn1t loo+ *ac+. 2e too+ ourselves into t$e living room and san+ into our #laces again. 3o*ert and my &ife sat on t$e sofa. I too+ t$e *ig c$air. 2e $ad us t&o or t$ree more drin+s &$ile t$ey tal+ed a*out t$e ma:or t$ings t$at $ad come to #ass for t$em in t$e #ast ten years. .or t$e most #art! I :ust listened. No& and t$en I :oined in. I didn1t &ant $im to t$in+ I1d left t$e room! and I didn1t 7

&ant $er to t$in+ I &as feeling left out. ;$ey tal+ed of t$ings t$at $ad $a##ened to t$em)to t$emE)t$ese #ast ten years. I &aited in vain to $ear my name on my &ife1s s&eet li#sB 'nd t$en my dear $us*and came into my life")somet$ing li+e t$at. But I $eard not$ing of t$e sort. More tal+ of 3o*ert. 3o*ert $ad done a little of everyt$ing! it seemed! a regular *lind :ac+-of-alltrades. But most recently $e and $is &ife $ad $ad an 'm&ay distri*utors$i#! from &$ic$! I gat$ered! t$ey1d earned a living! suc$ as it &as. ;$e *lind man &as also a $am radio o#erator. /e tal+ed in $is loud voice a*out conversations $e1d $ad &it$ fello& o#erators in Fuam! in t$e -$ili##ines! in 'las+a! and even in ;a$iti. /e said $e1d $ave a lot of friends t$ere if $er ever &anted to go visit t$ose #laces. .rom time to time! $e1d turn $is *lind face to&ard me! #ut $is $and under $is *eard! as+ me somet$ing. /o& long $ad I *een in my #resent #ositionA 5;$ree years.8 <id I li+e my &or+A 5I didn1t.8 2as I going to stay &it$ itA 52$at &ere t$e o#tionsA8 .inally! &$en I t$oug$t $e &as *eginning to run do&n! I got u# and turned on t$e ;>. My &ife loo+ed at me &it$ irritation. @$e &as $eading to&ard a *oil. ;$en s$e loo+ed at t$e *lind man and said! 3o*ert! do you $ave a ;>A" ;$e *lind man said! My dear! I $ave t&o ;>s. I $ave a color set and a *lac+-and-&$ite t$ing! an old relic. It1s funny! *ut if I turn t$e ;> on! and I1m al&ays turning it on! I turn on t$e color set. It1s funny! don1t you t$in+A" I didn1t +no& &$at to say to t$at. I $ad a*solutely not$ing to say to t$at. No o#inion. @o I &atc$ed t$e ne&s #rogram and tried to listen to &$at t$e announcer &as saying. ;$is is a color ;>!" t$e *lind man said. <on1t as+ me $o&! *ut I can tell." 2e traded u# a &$ile ago!" I said. ;$e *lind man $ad anot$er taste of $is drin+. /e lifted $is *eard! sniffed it! and let it fall. /e leaned for&ard on t$e sofa. /e #ositioned $is as$tray on t$e coffee ta*le! t$en #ut t$e lig$ter to $is cigarette. /e leaned *ac+ on t$e sofa and crossed $is legs at t$e an+les. My &ife covered $er mout$! and t$en s$e ya&ned. @$e stretc$ed. @$e said! I t$in+ I1ll go u#stairs and #ut on my ro*e. I t$in+ I1ll c$ange into somet$ing else. 3o*ert! you ma+e yourself comforta*le!" s$e said. I1m comforta*le!" t$e *lind man said. I &ant you to feel comforta*le in t$is $ouse!" s$e said. I am comforta*le!" t$e *lind man said. 'fter s$e1d left t$e room! $e and I listened to t$e &eat$er re#ort and t$en to t$e s#orts roundu#. By t$at time! s$e1d *een gone so long I didn1t +no& if s$e &as going to come *ac+. I t$oug$t s$e mig$t $ave gone to *ed. I &is$ed s$e1d come *ac+ do&nstairs. I didn1t &ant to *e left alone &it$ a *lind man. I as+ed $im if $e &anted anot$er drin+! and $e said sure. ;$en I as+ed if $e &anted 6

to smo+e some do#e &it$ me. I said I1d :ust rolled a num*er. I $adn1t! *ut I #lanned to do so in a*out t&o s$a+es. I1ll try some &it$ you!" $e said. <amn rig$t!" I said. ;$at1s t$e stuff." I got our drin+s and sat do&n on t$e sofa &it$ $im. ;$en I rolled us t&o fat num*ers. I lit one and #assed it. I *roug$t it to $is fingers. /e too+ it and in$aled. /old it as long as you can!" I said. I could tell $e didn1t +no& t$e first t$ing. My &ife came *ac+ do&nstairs &earing $er #in+ ro*e and $er #in+ sli##ers. 2$at do I smellA" s$e said. 2e t$oug$t &e1d $ave us some canna*is!" I said. My &ife gave me a savage loo+. ;$en s$e loo+ed at t$e *lind man and said! 3o*ert! I didn1t +no& you smo+ed." /e said! I do no&! my dear. ;$ere1s a first time for everyt$ing. But I don1t feel anyt$ing yet." ;$is stuff is #retty mello&!" I said. ;$is stuff is mild. It1s do#e you can reason &it$!" I said. It doesn1t mess you u#." Not muc$ it doesn1t! *u*!" $e said! and laug$ed. My &ife sat on t$e sofa *et&een t$e *lind man and me. I #assed $er t$e num*er. @$e too+ it and to+ed and t$en #assed it *ac+ to me. 2$ic$ &ay is t$is goingA" s$e said. ;$en s$e said! I s$ouldn1t *e smo+ing t$is. I can $ardly +ee# my eyes o#en as it is. ;$at dinner did me in. I s$ouldn1t $ave eaten so muc$." It &as t$e stra&*erry #ie!" t$e *lind man said. ;$at1s &$at did it!" $e said! and $e laug$ed $is *ig laug$. ;$en $e s$oo+ $is $ead. ;$ere1s more stra&*erry #ie!" I said. <o you &ant some more! 3o*ertA" my &ife said. May*e in a little &$ile!" $e said. 2e gave our attention to t$e ;>. My &ife ya&ned again. @$e said! Hour *ed is made u# &$en you feel li+e going to *ed! 3o*ert. I +no& you must $ave $ad a long day. 2$en you1re ready to go to *ed! say so." 8

@$e #ulled $is arm. 3o*ertA" /e came to and said! I1ve $ad a real nice time. ;$is *eats ta#es! doesn1t itA" I said! 4oming at you!" and I #ut t$e num*er *et&een $is fingers. /e in$aled! $eld t$e smo+e! and t$en let it go. It &as li+e $e1d *een doing t$is since $e &as nine years old. ;$an+s! *u*!" $e said. But I t$in+ t$is is all for me. I t$in+ I1m *eginning to feel it!" $e said. /e $eld t$e *urning roac$ out for my &ife. @ame $ere!" s$e said. <itto. Me! too." @$e too+ t$e roac$ and #assed it to me. I may :ust sit $ere for a &$ile *et&een you t&o guys &it$ my eyes closed. But don1t let me *ot$er you! o+ayA Eit$er one of you. If it *ot$ers you! say so. Ct$er&ise! I may :ust sit $ere &it$ my eyes closed until you1re ready to go to *ed!" s$e said. Hour *ed1s made u#! 3o*ert! &$en you1re ready. It1s rig$t ne?t to our room at t$e to# of t$e stairs. 2e1ll s$o& you u# &$en you1re ready. Hou &a+e me u# no&! you guys! if I fall aslee#." @$e said t$at and t$en s$e closed $er eyes and &ent to slee#. ;$e ne&s #rogram ended. I got u# and c$anged t$e c$annel. I sat *ac+ do&n on t$e sofa. I &is$ed my &ife $adn1t #oo#ed out. /er $ead lay across t$e *ac+ of t$e sofa! $er mout$ o#en. @$e1d turned so t$at $e ro*e $ad sli##ed a&ay from $er legs! e?#osing a :uicy t$ig$. I reac$ed to dra& $er ro*e *ac+ over $er! and it &as t$en t$at I glanced at t$e *lind man. 2$at t$e $ellE I fli##ed t$e ro*e o#en again. Hou say you &$en you &ant some stra&*erry #ie!" I said. I &ill!" $e said. I said! 're you tiredA <o you &ant me to ta+e you u# to your *edA 're you ready to $it t$e $ayA" Not yet!" $e said. No! I1ll stay u# &it$ you! *u*. If t$at1s all rig$t. I1ll stay u# until you1re ready to turn in. 2e $aven1t $ad a c$ance to tal+. =no& &$at I meanA I feel li+e me and $er mono#oli%ed t$e evening. /e lifted $is *eard and $e let it fall. /e #ic+ed u# $is cigarettes and $is lig$ter. ;$at1s all rig$t!" I said. ;$en I said! I1m glad for t$e com#any." 'nd I guess I &as. Every nig$t I smo+ed do#e and stayed u# as long as I could *efore I fell aslee#. My &ife and I $ardly ever &ent to *ed at t$e same time. 2$en I did go to slee#! I $ad t$ese dreams. @ometimes I1d &a+e u# from one of t$em! my $eart going cra%y. @omet$ing a*out t$e c$urc$ and t$e Middle 'ges &as on t$e ;>. Not your run-of-t$e-mill ;> fare. I &anted to &atc$ somet$ing else. I turned to t$e ot$er c$annels. But t$ere &as not$ing on t$em! eit$er. @o I turned *ac+ to t$e first c$annel and a#ologi%ed. 9

Bu*! it1s all rig$t!" t$e *lind man said. It1s fine &it$ me. 2$atever you &ant to &atc$ is o+ay. I1m al&ays learning somet$ing. Dearning never ends. It &on1t $urt me to learn somet$ing tonig$t. I got ears!" $e said. 2e didn1t say anyt$ing for a time. /e &as leaning for&ard &it$ $is $ead turned at me! $is rig$t ear aimed in t$e direction of t$e set. >ery disconcerting. No& and t$en $is eyelids droo#ed and t$en t$ey sna##ed o#en again. No& and t$en $e #ut $is fingers into $is *eard and tugged! li+e $e &as t$in+ing a*out somet$ing $e &as $earing on t$e television. Cn t$e screen! a grou# of men &earing co&ls &as *eing set u#on and tormented *y men dressed in s+eleton costumes and men dressed as devils. ;$e men dressed as devils &ore devil mas+s! $orns! and long tails. ;$is #ageant &as #art of a #rocession. ;$e Englis$man &$o &as narrating t$e t$ing said it too+ #lace in @#ain once a year. I tried to e?#lain to t$e *lind man &$at &as $a##ening. @+eletons!" $e said. I +no& a*out s+eletons!" $e said! and $e nodded. ;$e ;> s$o&ed t$is one cat$edral. ;$en t$ere &as a long! slo& loo+ at anot$er one. .inally! t$e #icture s&itc$ed to t$e famous one in -aris! &it$ its flying *uttresses and its s#ires reac$ing u# to t$e clouds. ;$e camera #ulled a&ay to s$o& t$e &$ole of t$e cat$edral rising a*ove t$e s+yline. ;$ere &ere times &$en t$e Englis$man &$o &as telling t$e t$ing &ould s$ut u#! &ould sim#ly let t$e camera move around over t$e cat$edrals. Cr else t$e camera &ould tour t$e countryside! men in fields &al+ing *e$ind o?en. I &aited as long as I could. ;$en I felt I $ad to say somet$ing. I said! ;$ey1re s$o&ing t$e outside of t$is cat$edral no&. Fargoyles. Dittle statues carved to loo+ li+e monsters. No& I guess t$ey1re in Italy. Hea$! t$ey1re in Italy. ;$ere1s #aintings on t$e &alls of t$is one c$urc$." 're t$ose fresco #ainting! *u*A" $e as+ed! and $e si##ed from $is drin+. I reac$ed for my glass. But it &as em#ty. I tried to remem*er &$at I could remem*er. Hou1re as+ing me are t$ose frescoesA" I said. ;$at1s a good (uestion. I don1t +no&." ;$e camera moved to a cat$edral outside Dis*on. ;$e difference in t$e -ortugese cat$edral com#ared &it$ t$e .renc$ and Italian &ere not t$at great. But t$ey &ere t$ere. Mostly t$e interior stuff. ;$en somet$ing occurred to me! and I said! @omet$ing $as occurred to me. <o you $ave any idea &$at a cat$edral isA 2$at t$ey loo+ li+e! t$at isA <o you follo& meA If some*ody says cat$edral to you! do you $ave any notion &$at t$ey1re tal+ing a*outA <o you t$e difference *et&een t$at and a Ba#tist c$urc$! sayA" /e let t$e smo+e dri**le from $is mout$. I +no& t$ey too+ $undreds of &or+ers fifty or a $undred years to *uild!" $e said. I :ust $eard t$e man say t$at! of course. I +no& generations of t$e same families &or+ed on a cat$edral. I $eard $im say t$at! too. ;$e men &$o *egan t$eir life1s &or+ on t$em! t$ey never lived to see t$e com#letion of t$eir &or+. In t$at &ise! *u*! t$ey1re no different from t$e rest of us! rig$tA" /e laug$ed. ;$en $is eyelids droo#ed again. /is 1,

$ead nodded. /e seemed to *e snoo%ing. May*e $e &as imagining $imself in -ortugal. ;$e ;> &as s$o&ing anot$er cat$edral no&. ;$is one &as in Fermany. ;$e Englis$man1s voice droned on. 4at$edrals!" t$e *lind man said. /e sat u# and rolled $is $ead *ac+ and fort$. If you &ant t$e trut$! *u*! t$at1s a*out all I +no&. 2$at I :ust said. 2$at I $eard $im say. But may*e you could descri*e one to meA I &is$ you1d do it. I1d li+e t$at. If you &ant to +no&! I really don1t $ave a good idea." I stared $ard at t$e s$ot of t$e cat$edral on t$e ;>. /o& could I even *egin to descri*e itA But say my life de#ended on it. @ay my life &as *eing t$reatened *y an insane guy &$o said I $ad to do it or else. I stared some more at t$e cat$edral *efore t$e #icture fli##ed off into t$e countryside. ;$ere &as no use. I turned to t$e *lind man and said! ;o *egin &it$! t$ey1re very tall." I &as loo+ing around t$e room for clues. ;$ey reac$ &ay u#. 0# and u#. ;o&ard t$e s+y. ;$ey1re so *ig! some of t$em! t$ey $ave to $ave t$ese su##orts. ;o $el# $old t$em u#! so to s#ea+. ;$ese su##orts are called *uttresses. ;$ey remind of viaducts! for some reason. But may*e you don1t +no& viaducts! eit$erA @ometimes t$e cat$edrals $ave devils and suc$ carved into t$e front. @ometimes lords and ladies. <on1t as+ me &$y t$is is!" I said. /e &as nodding. ;$e &$ole u##er #art of $is *ody seemed to *e moving *ac+ and fort$. I1m not doing so good! am IA" I said. /e sto##ed nodding and leaned for&ard on t$e edge of t$e sofa. 's $e listened to me! $e &as running $is fingers t$roug$ $is *eard. I &asn1t getting t$roug$ to $im! I could see t$at. But $e &aited for me to go on :ust t$e same. /e nodded! li+e $e &as trying to encourage me. I tried to t$in+ &$at else to say. ;$ey1re really *ig!" I said. ;$ey1re massive. ;$ey1re *uilt of stone. Mar*le! too! sometimes. In t$ose olden days! &$en t$ey *uilt cat$edrals! men &anted to *e close to Fod. In t$ose olden days! Fod &as an im#ortant #art of everyone1s life. Hou could tell t$is from t$eir cat$edral-*uilding. I1m sorry!" I said! *ut it loo+s li+e t$at1s t$e *est I can do for you. I1m :ust no good at it." ;$at1s all rig$t! *u*!" t$e *lind man said. /ey! listen. I $o#e you don1t mind my as+ing you. 4an I as+ you somet$ingA Det me as+ you a sim#le (uestion! yes or no. I1m :ust curious and t$ere1s no offense. Hou1re my $ost. But let me as+ if you are in any &ay religiousA Hou don1t mind my as+ingA" I s$oo+ my $ead. /e couldn1t see t$at! t$oug$. ' &in+ is t$e same as a nod to a *lind man. I guess I don1t *elieve in it. In anyt$ing. @ometimes it1s $ard. Hou +no& &$at I1m sayingA" @ure! I do!" $e said. 3ig$t!" I said. ;$e Englis$man &as still $olding fort$. My &ife sig$ed in $er slee#. @$e dre& a long *reat$ and &ent on &it$ $er slee#ing. 11

Hou1ll $ave to forgive me!" I said. But I can1t tell you &$at a cat$edral loo+s li+e. It :ust isn1t in me to do it. I can1t do any more t$an I1ve done." ;$e *lind man sat very still! $is $ead do&n! as $e listened to me. I said! ;$e trut$ is! cat$edrals don1t mean anyt$ing s#ecial to me. Not$ing. 4at$edrals. ;$ey1re somet$ing to loo+ at on late-nig$t ;>. ;$at1s all t$ey are." It &as t$en t$at t$e *lind man cleared $is t$roat. /e *roug$t somet$ing u#. /e too+ a $and+erc$ief from $is *ac+ #oc+et. ;$en $e said! I get it! *u*. It1s o+ay. It $a##ens. <on1t &orry a*out it!" $e said. /ey! listen to me. 2ill you do me a favorA I got an idea. 2$y don1t you find us some $eavy #a#erA 'nd a #en. 2e1ll do somet$ing. 2e1ll dra& one toget$er. Fet us a #en and some $eavy #a#er. Fo on! *u*! get t$e stuff!" $e said. @o I &ent u#stairs. My legs felt li+e t$ey didn1t $ave any strengt$ in t$em. ;$ey felt li+e t$ey did after I1d done some running. In my &ife1s room! I loo+ed around. I found some *all#oints in a little *as+et on $er ta*le. 'nd t$en I tried to t$in+ &$ere to loo+ for t$e +ind of #a#er $e &as tal+ing a*out. <o&nstairs! in t$e +itc$en! I found a s$o##ing *ag &it$ onion s+ins in t$e *ottom of t$e *ag. I em#tied t$e *ag and s$oo+ it. I *roug$t it into t$e living room and sat do&n &it$ it near $is legs. I moved some t$ings! smoot$ed t$e &rin+les from t$e *ag! s#read it out on t$e coffee ta*le. ;$e *lind man got do&n from t$e sofa and sat ne?t to me on t$e car#et. /e ran $is fingers over t$e #a#er. /e &ent u# and do&n t$e sides of t$e #a#er. ;$e edges! even t$e edges. /e fingered t$e corners. 'll rig$t!" $e said. 'll rig$t! let1s do $er." /e found my $and! t$e $and &it$ t$e #en. /e closed $is $and over my $and. Fo a$ead! *u*! dra&!" $e said. <ra&. Hou1ll see. I1ll follo& along &it$ you. It1ll *e o+ay. 9ust *egin no& li+e I1m telling you. Hou1ll see. <ra&!" t$e *lind man said. @o I *egan. .irst I dre& a *o? t$at loo+ed li+e a $ose. It could $ave *een t$e $ouse I lived in. ;$en I #ut a roof on it. 't eit$er end of t$e roof! I dre& s#ires. 4ra%y. @&ell!" $e said. ;errific. Hou1re doing fine!" $e said. Never t$oug$t anyt$ing li+e t$is could $a##en in your lifetime! did you! *u*A 2ell! it1s a strange life! &e all +no& t$at. Fo on no&. =ee# it u#." I #ut in &indo&s &it$ arc$es. I dre& flying *uttresses. I $ung great doors. I couldn1t sto#. ;$e ;> station &ent off t$e air. I #ut do&n t$e #en and closed and o#ened my fingers. ;$e *lind man felt around over t$e #a#er. /e moved t$e ti#s of t$e fingers over t$e #a#er! all over &$at I $ad dra&n! and $e nodded. 1G

<oing fine!" t$e *lind man said. I too+ u# t$e #en again! and $e found my $and. I +e#t at it. I1m no artist. But I +e#t dra&ing :ust t$e same. My &ife o#ened u# $er eyes and ga%ed at us. @$e sat u# on t$e sofa! $er ro*e $anging o#en. @$e said! 2$at are you doingA ;ell me! I &ant to +no&." I didn1t ans&er $er. ;$e *lind man said! 2e1re dra&ing a cat$edral. Me and $im are &or+ing on it. -ress $ard!" $e said to me. ;$at1s rig$t. ;$at1s good!" $e said. @ure. Hou got it! *u*. I can tell. Hou didn1t t$in+ you could. But you can! can1t youA Hou1re coo+ing &it$ gas no&. Hou +no& &$at I1m sayingA 2e1re going to really $ave us somet$ing $ere in a minute. /o&1s t$e old armA" $e said. -ut some #eo#le in t$ere no&. 2$at1s a cat$edral &it$out #eo#leA" My &ife said! 2$at1s going onA 3o*ert! &$at are you doingA 2$at1s going onA" It1s all rig$t!" $e said to $er. 4lose your eyes no&!" t$e *lind man said to me. I did it. I closed t$em :ust li+e $e said. 're t$ey closedA" $e said. <on1t fudge." ;$ey1re closed!" I said. =ee# t$em t$at &ay!" $e said. /e said! <on1t sto# no&. <ra&." @o &e +e#t on &it$ it. /is fingers rode my fingers as my $and &ent over t$e #a#er. It &as li+e not$ing else in my life u# to no&. ;$en $e said! I t$in+ t$at1s it. I t$in+ you got it!" $e said. ;a+e a loo+. 2$at do you t$in+A" But I $ad my eyes closed. I t$oug$t I1d +ee# t$em t$at &ay for a little longer. I t$oug$t it &as somet$ing I oug$t to do. 2ellA" $e said. 're you loo+ingA" My eyes &ere still closed. I &as in my $ouse. I +ne& t$at. But I didn1t feel li+e I &as inside anyt$ing. It1s really somet$ing!" I said.

13

1I