Part1

Theassessmentformystudentworkanalysisisathemeessaythatmystudentsworkedon
bothinclassandontheirown.TheywrotethisessayattheendofourHolocaustunit,which
wejustcompleted.Forthisunit,studentschosebetweenthreenovels:TheDiaryofAnne
Frank,TheBookThief,andFarewelltoManzanar.ThestudentsreadingFarewellto
ManzanaralsoreadNumbertheStarsaspartofthisunit,astheirbookwasquiteabit
shorterthantheothers.Studentswereplacedingroupsofthreewithclassmatesreading
thesamebookandremainedwiththesegroupsfortheentireunit.

Fortheiressay,studentswereaskedtopickathemeinthenovelandcraftanessayin
whichtheymadeaclaimaboutthisthemeandsupporteditusingtextualevidence.Atthe
beginningoftheunit,studentsweregiven(anddiscussed)alistoftopicsandideasthat
werepresentinallofthebooks,suchasisolation,morality,thepowerofwords,etc.About
halfwaythroughtheunit,theyspenthalfaclassperiodbrainstormingsomethemesthat
stemmedfromthesetopics.Additionally,throughouttheunitstudentswroteinaliterary
journalwhichwascollectedeachweek.Theywereaskedtolookforquotesabouttheme
(amongotherthings)andrecordtheseintheirlitjournals,alongwiththeirreactionstothe
quotes.Thisscaffoldinggavethemthetoolstheyneededtopickathemeandcrafttheir
essayarounditattheendoftheunit.

Ihadafewdifferentgoalsforstudentlearninginthisassignment.One,thatstudentslearn
whatexactlythemesareandhowtoidentifytheminliterature.Two,thatstudentslearnhow
towriteathesisstatementandselectquotestobackupthisclaim.Three,thatstudents
becomecomfortablewithwhatmymentorteachercallsbigkidwriting.Sofar,my
studentshavewrittenbiographiesandautobiographies,andnarrative,descriptive,and
persuasiveessays.Thisistheirfirsttimewritinganessaybasedonapieceofliterature,
ratherthanpersonalexperiencesandideas.MymentorteacherandIbothfeltthatthiswas
theperfecttimetodothisessay.Nexttrimester,studentswillwriteacharacteressay,using
manyofthesamestrategiesthattheylearnedwhilewritingthisone.

Thisassessmentrevealedmanyofthestrengthsandweaknessesthatmystudentshave
whenitcomestowriting,specificallyliteraryanalysis.Myrubricforthisassessmentwas
verycomprehensive,whichallowedmetoassessnumerousaspectsofstudentswriting.I
includedsectionsformainideas,supportingdetails,organization,andclarity&mechanics.

MymentorteacherandIdiscussedthelimitsofthisassessmentafterItoldherwhatmy
planforitwas.Shepointedoutthatmystudentscouldhypotheticallywritethisthemeessay
withoutactuallyfinishingthebook.Withthisinmind,Ihadstudentswriteanexitticketthe
daythattheyfinishedtheirbook(thedaybeforewestartedtheessay)wheretheypicked

onecharacteranddiscussedtheirjourneyfromthebeginningofthebooktotheend.

Part2
InterpretationsandPatterns:
Iselectedthreestudentswhocompletedtheassessmentwithvaryingdegreesofsuccess.
Onestudent,Ian,exceededmyexpectationsforthisassignment.Another,Morgan,met
myexpectations.Finally,Jordan,didnotmeetmyexpectationsforthisassessment.

ThesestudentsinterpretedthisassessmentinthewaythatIexpectedthemto,forthemost
part.Ithinkthatthestudentwhodidnotmeetmyexpectationsunderstoodwhatheneeded
todo,butdidnotputforththeeffortrequiredfortheassessment.

OnepatternthatInoticedintheseassessments,especiallywhenIlookedathowtheentire
classcompletedthem,wasthatstudentsstruggledwiththeirtopicsentences.Forthemost
part,studentscraftedgoodthesisstatementsandpickedsolidquotes,butmanyofthem
wrotetopicsentencesthatwereunclearorundefendable.EachofthethreestudentsthatI
pickedhadatleastoneissuewiththeirtopicsentences.

Anotherpatternthatemergedintheseassessmentswasstudentsnotaddingenoughdetail
totheirbodyparagraphs.ThisisanissuethatIsawinthemajorityofstudentessays,
includingthethreethatIfocusedon.

IndividualStudentResponses:
EachstudentsresponsefitwithwhatIknowaboutthem,aswellaswithhowtheyhave
performedonpreviousassessments.

Jordan(approachingexpectations):Jordanisastudentwhocontributesoftentoclass
discussion,butdoesnotrecognizehisownpotentialwhenitcomestowriting.During
writingworkshopsinclass,heoftenbecomesfrustratedwhenhisessaydoesnotcome
togetherrightaway,andpreferstodistracthisclassmatesorattempttodoworkforother
classesratherthanusingthattimetoworkonhiswriting.Heoftendoesnotputthe
necessarytimeintomakehisessaygreat.Jordansessayhadalotofpotential,butit
seemedmorelikearoughdraftthanafinal.Heneededtoworkonclarifyinghisthird
paragraphtopicsentenceandmakingtheconnectiontohisthesisalittleclearer.Jordan
alsoneededtoworkonaddingtoallofhisquoteexplanations,whichIthinkwasan
unfortunateeffectofhiswastedclasstime.Throughreadinghisessay,Ilearnedthat
Jordanexcelsatliteraryanalysisoverpersonalwriting.Hismainideasforthisessaywere
muchstrongerthaninpreviousessayshehaswritten.

Morgan(meetingexpectations):Morganisahardworkerwhocaresimmenselyabouther
grades.Sheoftencomesinoutsideofclasstoaskforhelporclarification,especiallywith
writingassignments.Thoughwritingisharderforherthanreading,shewritesdraftafter
draftofheressaystomakethemthebesttheycanbe.Inthisessay,Morganprovedtobe
verygoodatwritingthesisandtopicsentences.However,sheneededtoworkonher
quoteselection,aswellasthewaythatsheintroducedherquotes.Throughreadingher
essay,IlearnedthatMorgandoesabitbetterwithpersonalwritingthanliteraryanalysis,
butthatshecanstilldowellwiththistypeofwritingwithalittleextrahelp.

Ian(exceedingexpectations):Ianisahardworkerwhocontributesoftentoclass
discussion.Hehasperformedwellonallofhispreviouswritingassessmentsandusually
completesassignmentswithoutaskingforhelporclarification.Inthisessay,Ianneededto
workonhisthirdparagraphtopicsentence,whichdidntquiteworkwiththequotethathe
hadpicked.Throughhisassessment,IlearnedthatIanexcelsatliteraryanalysis.Hedid
wellwithourpreviousnarrative,descriptive,andautobiographicalessays,butnotaswell
aswiththisone.

Part3
Forthisassessment,IrespondedthesamewaythatIhavebeenallyearforessays.Thisis
thethirdformalwritingpiecethatstudentshaveturnedintome,soImprettycomfortable
withmymethodofresponse.Imadecommentsonthesideofeachstudentspaperabout
ideasandsupportingdetails.IalsomarkedgrammarandformattingerrorsthefirsttimeI
sawthem.IfilledintherubricasIdidthis.Then,Imadeafinalcommentattheendoftheir
essay.Istartedwithsomethingpositive,thendrewtheirattentiontoaparticularissuethatI
sawthroughouttheirpaper,oranissuethatsignificantlyaffectedmyunderstandingoftheir
essay.

IthinkthewaythatIrespondedtostudentswasprettyeffective.Studentsmentionedtome
afterourlastpaperthattheylikedtherubricsbecauseitshowedthemexactlywhytheygot
thegradethattheydid.Ialsohadonestudenttellmethattheylikedthecommentattheend
becauseitgavethemsomethingspecifictoworkonfortheirnextpaper.Ialsothinkthis
methodofresponseiseffectivebecauseitistheexactsamethingthatstudentsdofor
peerreviews.Theydonothavetofillintherubric,buttheyarestillexpectedtomake
commentsonthesideandthenwriteacomplimentsandwichattheend.

ThisassessmentgavemesomeideasforhowIwillmoveforwardwitheachofthese
studentsintheirwriting.Jordansessay(aswellashisbehaviorduringourwriting
workshopforthisassignment)showedmethatheneedstobecheckedinonoftenwhilehe
isworkinginclass.Ithinkhisbiggestissueisthatheoftenhasquestionsabouthiswriting

butistooproudorembarrassedtoask.Withournextbigwritingassignment(aswellas
anysmalleroneswedoduringclass)IwillcheckinonJordanmorefrequentlytogivehim
theopportunitytoaskquestions.MynextstepwithMorganistocontinuewhatIamalready
doingwithher.Sheasksquestionsfrequently,especiallyaboutherwriting,sosheis
alreadytakingtheinitiativeinthatrespect.Ianisanotherexampleofastudentwhoisdoing
whattheyneedtoontheirown.Inthefuture,ImayencourageIantoparticipateinmore
peerreviews.Forthispaper,hedidone,butIthinkotherstudentsmaybenefitfromhim
readingtheirpapersduringclass.

IhavealreadymadesomechangestohowIrespondtostudentwritingsincethebeginning
oftheyear,soIdonothaveanymajoradaptationstohowIrespondtowritingatthistime.
AbigreasonforthisisthatmymentorteacherandIhavespokenextensivelyabouthowI
respondtostudentwriting.Forexample,IusedtopointouteverygrammaticalerrorthatI
saw.However,mymentorteacherpointedoutthatthatwasmedoingtheworkforthem.
ShesaidthatIshouldjustmarkthefirstonethatIsaw.Shetoldmetoalwaysfocusontheir
ideasanddetailsmorethantheirgrammar,whichmadesensetome,especiallyforthis
themeessay.AfterIgradeanessayshereadsthework,aswellasmycomments.
Afterwards,wetalkabouteachessaytogetherandsheaskswhyImadethechoicesthatI
didontherubricandwithmycomments.ThenshemakessuggestionsandImake
alterationsasnecessary.Thisisreallyhelpfulbecauseitmakesmethoughtfullyconsider
whyImakeeachdecision.Forthisthemeessay,Ididmakesomealterationsafterwe
spoke,mostlybecausethisisthefirsttimeIhavegradedaliteraryanalysisessay.Mostof
hercommentswereaboutwhereIgradedstudentsondifferentpartsoftherubric.There
wereafewstudentsthatmymentorteachersuggestedImoveupordownontherubric.
Shealsotoldmewhyshethoughtso,whichwasveryhelpful.

MostofwhatIlearnedwasrelatedtotheassessmentandmyowninstructionofit.Irealized
thatIdonotneedtomakeessayorganizersthatdetailedinthefuture.Sincethiswastheir
firstliteraryanalysis,Imadeitprettydetailedwithplanstoscalebackfortheirnextwriting
assignment.However,Ithinkeventhisonewastoodetailed.Studentsgotcaughtupin
makingsurethattheyhadperfectintroductoryandconcludingsentences,whentheyshould
havebeenfocusingontheirideasanddetails.Additionally,Iplannedonhavingstudentsfill
intheessayorganizerbeforewritingtheirroughdrafts,butmymentorteacherpointedout
thattheywerewastingtimebydoingthat.Instead,theyjustwrotetheirthesisstatements
andtopicsentencesontheorganizeranddidtherestontheirroughdraft.Also,Iplanned
onhavingstudentstypetheirroughdrafts,butmymentorteachersaidthatmakingstudents
handwritethemencouragesthemtousetheirwritingworkshoptimetoactuallyworkon
theiressays.Thischangeworkedforthemostpart,butsomestudentswerejustifiably
confusedaboutwhetheritneededtobehandwrittenortypedsincetheessaypromptsaid

somethingdifferentthanwhatItoldthem.IfIhadrealizedthischangeaheadoftime,than
theessaypromptcouldhavereflectedit.Inthefuture,Ineedtogooverabsolutelyevery
partofmyassessmentwithmymentorteacher.ShereadthroughitbeforeIgaveitto
students,butIneedtobebetteraboutdiscussingeverydetailsothatsheandIcanwork
outanychangesthatneedtobemade.Thiswillpreventconfusionoverassessmentsinthe
future.

Ithinkmygoalsforthisassessmentweregood.StudentsaccomplishedwhatIwanted
themtothroughthisassessment.IthinkthatallthreeofthegoalsthatIhadforstudents
whenIcraftedthisassessmentwereachieved,sooverall,Ithinkitwasasuccess.

ADVANCED ENGLISH 9

THEME ESSAY
ESSAY EXPLANATION

Your assignment is to examine a theme found in your lit circle book (The Diary of Anne Frank, The Book Thief,
Farewell to Manzanar or Number the Stars). You will fill in the included essay organizer over several days and then
will begin to write your essay. I will be checking your essay organizer each day. Your timely completion of it is a part
of your final essay grade!
You first step is to craft a thesis statement which makes a claim about your chosen theme that can be argued. Next,
you will write 3 (or more) topic sentences that support your thesis. Finally, you will support each topic sentence with
at least one quotation and explanation per body paragraph. You should look in your lit journal as well as your book
annotations for the quote or quotes that will best support each topic sentence.
REQUIREMENTS

For this essay, do not write an introductory and concluding paragraph. Instead, write an introductory
sentence and a concluding sentence.
You must include at least 3 quotes from your lit circle book. You should have a minimum of 1 quote per body
paragraph.
Do not use first or second person pronouns (I, my, you, yours, etc). For our warm-up last week you were
asked to write the list of these in your notes. They can also be found on pg. 409 of the language book.
Additionally, eliminate the use of the words one (for example, one could say) and the reader. These
words make the essay about the person reading the book, while it should really be about the book itself.
Your essay must be proofread. There is no excuse for turning in an essay with spelling or grammar mistakes,
especially those that could be caught by Spell check. Read through your essay multiple times and ask
classmates and family members to do the same.
There is not a page requirement for this essay. However, I do need at least three thorough and detailed body
paragraphs. For this essay, that means at least six sentences per paragraph, and most likely more.
This essay must be typed, double-spaced, with 1 margins
12 pt Times New Roman font
Name, Advanced English 9, due date, Theme Essay in the upper right hand corner
Original, creative title (not bolded, underlined, or larger than the text of the body of the essay) centered
below the heading
DUE DATES

Essay organizer: To be filled in as instructed during class and sometimes for homework. You will be
notified each day which portion of it you need to complete. Again, your timely completion of the organizer
is part of your final essay grade!
Rough draft: Due Tuesday, November 20th. You will receive a 5% deduction on your final essay grade
if yours is missing on the 20th. It must be typed and either printed or available on computer.
Final draft: Due Thursday, November 21st. I must have it by the end of the day, whether it is turned in
during class or emailed to me at rvanacker23@gmail.com. Additionally, you must turn in a paper rubric
during class on the 21st, even if you email your essay. You will receive a 5% deduction on your final essay if
yours is missing.

ADVANCED ENGLISH 9

THEME ESSAY
NOTES ON THESIS STATEMENTS

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

NOTES ON TOPIC SENTENCES

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
OUTLINE
Introductory Sentence (Attention getter)
Thesis Statement
1st Body Paragraph
1. Topic Sentence (First example that proves your thesis)
2. Quote Sandwich
3. Conclusion/Transition Sentence (Wrap up body paragraph)
2nd Body Paragraph
1. Transition/Topic Sentence (Second example that proves your thesis)
2. Quote Sandwich
3. Conclusion/Transition Sentence (Wrap up body paragraph)
3rd Body Paragraph
1. Transition/Topic Sentence (Third example that proves your thesis)
2. Quote Sandwich
3. Conclusion Sentence (Wrap up body paragraph)
Concluding Sentence (Restate your thesis)
You can have more than three body paragraphs if it serves your thesis. Follow the same format for any
additional body paragraphs.

ADVANCED ENGLISH 9

THEME ESSAY
ESSAY ORGANIZER:

If you fill out this organizer completely, writing your essay will be a breeze!
Introductory Sentence:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thesis Statement:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
1st Body Paragraph:
Topic Sentence: ____________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Quote Sandwich:
Introduction (Provide context, what happened in the novel just before this quote?): ____________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Quote (Include who is speaking and the page number!):___________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Explanation (How does this quote support your topic sentence? This explanation should be at least twice as long as
your quote): _______________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Conclusion/Transition Sentence: ______________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

ADVANCED ENGLISH 9

THEME ESSAY

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
2nd Body Paragraph
Transition/Topic Sentence: __________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Quote Sandwich:
Introduction (Provide context, what happened in the novel just before this quote?): ____________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Quote (Include who is speaking and the page number!):___________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Explanation (How does this quote support your topic sentence? This explanation should be at least twice as long as
your quote): _______________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Conclusion/Transition Sentence: ______________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
3rd Body Paragraph
Transition/Topic Sentence: __________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Quote Sandwich:
Introduction (Provide context, what happened in the novel just before this quote?): ____________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

ADVANCED ENGLISH 9

THEME ESSAY

Quote (Include who is speaking and the page number!):___________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Explanation (How does this quote support your topic sentence? This explanation should be at least twice as long as
your quote): _______________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Concluding Sentence: ______________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Concluding Sentence:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

ADVANCED ENGLISH 9

Category
Main Ideas

THEME ESSAY RUBRIC

Excellent (A)

Strong (B)

Satisfactory (C)

Failing (E)

Thesis statement
makes a strong claim
about a theme in the
novel. Thesis and topic
sentences are clear and
defendable. All topic
sentences connect
logically to the claim
made in the thesis
statement.

Thesis statement
makes a fairly strong
claim about a theme in
the novel. Thesis and
topic sentences are
mostly clear and
defendable.
Most topic sentences
connect logically to the
claim made in the
thesis statement.

Thesis statement does

not make a strong claim
about a theme in the
novel. Thesis and topic
sentences are neither
clear nor defendable.
Topic sentences do not
connect logically to the
claim made in the
thesis statement.

Supporting
Details

All supporting details

connect logically to the
claim made in their
paragraphs topic
sentence. Each body
paragraph has a strong
quote sandwich.
Explanation of quote
thoroughly explains the
quotes connection to
the topic sentence.

Most supporting details

connect logically to the
claim made in their
paragraphs topic
sentence. Most body
paragraphs have a
strong quote sandwich.
Explanation of quote
explains the quotes
connection to the topic
sentence.

Thesis statement
makes a somewhat
strong claim about a
theme in the novel.
Thesis and topic
sentences are
somewhat clear and
defendable. Some topic
sentences connect
logically to the claim
made in the thesis
statement.
Some supporting details
connect logically to the
claim made in their
paragraphs topic
sentence. Some body
paragraphs have a
strong quote sandwich.
Explanation of quote
somewhat explains the
quotes connection to
the topic sentence.

Organization

Essay is arranged in a
very logical order that
enhances the readers
understanding. Essay
has strong introductory
and concluding
sentences. Writer
makes smooth
transitions between
ideas, sentences, and
paragraphs.

Clarity and
Mechanics

Essay is clear and easy

to understand. It is very
well written with no
grammatical errors. All
quotes include page
numbers and proper
punctuation.

Formatting

Essay meets all of the

formatting requirements
(heading, spacing, title,
etc.)
Essay organizer was
consistently filled out on
time.

Essay is arranged in a
logical order that
enhances the readers
understanding. Essay
has fairly strong
introductory and
concluding sentences.
Writer makes mostly
smooth transitions
between ideas,
sentences, and
paragraphs.
Essay is mostly clear
and easy to understand.
It is well written, with
very few grammatical
errors that do not
distract from the
content. Most quotes
include page numbers
and proper punctuation.
Essay meets most of
the formatting
requirements (heading,
spacing, title, etc.)
Essay organizer was
usually filled out on
time.

Essay Organizer

Essay is arranged in a
somewhat logical order
that may confuse the
reader at times. Essay
has a weak introductory
or concluding sentence.
Writer makes somewhat
smooth transitions
between ideas,
sentences, and
paragraphs.
Essay is somewhat clear
and easy to understand.
It is somewhat well
written with few
grammatical errors that
may detract from the
content. Some quotes
include page numbers
and proper punctuation.
Essay meets some of
the formatting
requirements (heading,
spacing, title, etc.)
Essay organizer was
sometimes filled out on
time.

Supporting details do
not connect logically to
the claim made in their
paragraphs topic
sentence. Body
paragraphs are missing
strong quote
sandwiches.
Explanation of quote
does not explain the
quotes connection to
the topic sentence.
Essay is not arranged in
a logical order and this
significantly detracts
from the readers
understanding. Essay
has weak introductory
and concluding
sentences. Writer does
not make smooth
transitions between
ideas, sentences, and
paragraphs.
Essay is confusing and
difficult to understand.
Essay is not well written
and has several
grammatical errors that
detract from the
content. Quotes do not
include page numbers
or proper punctuation.
Essay meets few of the
formatting requirements
(heading, spacing, title,
etc.)
Essay organizer was
rarely filled out on time.

Mikaela Harns
Theme Essay
Advanced English 9
11-19-13
Fear

Fear is something many people let hold them back. Franklin D. Roosevelt said
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. In Anne Franks Diary of a young girl fear
does not decide fate.
Anne showed throughout the book that she didnt let fear decide her fate. At the
end of the book there is a scene where Anne is sitting with Peter in the attic of the
Secret Annexe trying to escape reality. They stare blankly at each as they think about
the comment Anne just made. Anne said Riches, prestige, everything can be lost. But
happiness in your own heart can only be dimmed; it will always be there as long a you

Comment [1]: Rebecca VanAcker:

Work on this quote introduction a little bit. Since
this happened in real life, "scene" isn't the right
word there.

live to make you happy again.(p.143) This shows Annes optimism about the whole
situation. She believes she can truly be happy in the darkest of times and keep fear
from weighing her down. Anne is always positive when talking to others and keeps all
her negative feelings inside. Her feelings are a jumbled mess waiting to explode. Anne
copes with fear and shows that it doesnt affect her.
Ellie and Kraler dont let fear decide the fate of their friends. They are brave and
have determination to keep the Franks safe. They took them into hiding in the Secret
Annexe right after the war started. They provided food coupons, healthcare items,
shelter, warmth, and love during a very difficult time. They risked their lives every
minute of everyday trying to do what is right. Soon after going into hiding Anne said We
have to Whisper and tread lightly during the day, otherwise people in the warehouse
might hear us.(p.19) One sound could be life or death for the Franks. This shows what

Comment [2]: Rebecca VanAcker:

This is a good quote, but it doesn't directly
connect to your topic sentence.

a risk people are willing to take for some sense of safety and escape from fear. Fear is
not a factor for Ellie and Kraler.
Anne Franks dad does not let fear decide his family's fate. He cares about his
family and keeps them safe by making a plan to go into hiding for the duration of the
war. While in the Secret Annexe one day Anne says I cling to daddy because its only
through him that I am able to retain the remnant of family.(p.40) Anne is trying to hold
on to whats left of her family and her dad is the main source. Anne Franks dad is the
only person in the Secret Annexe that can hold a face that doesnt resemble any trace
of fear. He is the rock of the family and shows that fear does not belong in the Secret
Annexe. He wipes away the fear and depression in the family.
In Anne Franks Diary of a young girl, Anne teaches the lesson that fear doesnt
decide fate and that people need to face even their biggest fears.

Comment [3]: Rebecca VanAcker:

Nice job Mikalae! Great thesis and topic
sentences. Work a little on your supporting
details. That first quote needs to be introduced
a little differently, and your 2nd body paragraph
could use a different quote. A quote that
supports that topic sentence a bit better would
strengthen your overall essay.
90%