Childrens Grief Dreams and the Theory of Spiritual Intelligence

Kate Adams Bishop Grosseteste University College Lincoln Brendan Hyde Australian Catholic University
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Throughout history, people have reported dreams that have impacted upon their spiritual lives, some of which are related to death. Dreams related to death are not uncommon in childhood, and research shows that some children make meaning from them. Often this interpretation of a dream reects a search for meaning about issues of life and death, as well as acting as a coping mechanism. This article explores how children make meaning from this type of dream by synthesizing the theory of spiritual intelligence with theoretical approaches to dreaming. Specically, it explores the intersection between theoretical approaches to dreams related to death, childrens responses to these dreams, and a key function of spiritual intelligence to solve problems of meaning and value in life.
Keywords: signicant dreams, spiritual intelligence, childrens dreams, dreams of the deceased, grief dreams

Throughout history, people have reported dreams that have impacted on their spiritual lives. Such dreams can occur at any stage of life, but there is evidence to suggest that they often occur in childhood and can be remembered into adulthood (Bulkeley, Broughton, Sanchez, & Stiller, 2005; Jung, 1948; Siegel & Bulkeley, 1998). Qualitative studies have shown that some children reect on their dreams and nd meaning in them, with some of these dreams making a spiritual impact (Adams, 2003; Coles, 1990; Siegel & Bulkeley, 1998). While spiritual dreams can contain a variety of themes, a common one relates to death (Bulkeley, 2000; Bulkeley & Bulkley, 2005). The concept of death is one that children are faced with as they encounter issues of mortality in one form or another, usually via the death of a grandparent or a pet. Dreams of the deceased, and those that are related to death in other ways, are thus not uncommon during childhood (see Mallon, 2002;
Kate Adams, Department of Education Studies, Bishop Grosseteste University College Lincoln, United Kingdom; Brendan Hyde, School of Religious Education, Faculty of Education, Australian Catholic University, St. Patricks Campus, Australia. Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Kate Adams, Department of Education Studies, Bishop Grosseteste University College Lincoln LN1 3DY, United Kingdom. E-mail: kate.adams@bishopg.ac.uk

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Dreaming 2008, Vol. 18, No. 1, 58 67 Copyright 2008 by the American Psychological Association 1053-0797/08/$12.00 DOI: 10.1037/1053-0797.18.1.58

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Punama ki, 1999; Siegel & Bulkeley, 1998) particularly given that such dreams can closely reect stages of the grieving process (Gareld, 1996). While some of these dreams may be disturbing for children, many of the dreams offer reassurance and coping strategies, or aid children in their search for meaning about issues of life and death. Dreams such as these, which an individual may deem spiritual, are often signicant to them because of the impact made on their lives. Knudson, Adame, and Finocan (2006) argue that qualitative methods of investigating signicant dreams are essential for exploring how the dream experience inuences the dreamers meaning-making process; that the exploration of signicant dreams requires methods appropriate to the study of the dreamers life experience within their own cultural context. This article uses qualitative methods to explore how children make meaning from dreams related to death by synthesizing the theory of spiritual intelligence with theoretical approaches to dreaming. Specically, it explores the intersection between childrens responses to their dreams and the concept of spiritual intelligence, focusing on its potential function as a means by which to solve problems of meaning and value in life. While research shows that some children nd meaning in their dreams, less attention has been given to the processes by which children came to achieve those insights. This article explores one way in which children may come to identify meaning in their dreams. SPIRITUALITY, SPIRITUAL INTELLIGENCE, AND DREAMS Spirituality is a natural human predisposition (e.g., Hay & Nye, 2006; OMurchu, 1997, 2000). It is more primal than institutional religion (James, 1901/ 1977; Maslow, 1970; Tacey, 2000) and concerns a persons sense of connectedness with self, others, and the world (or cosmos). For some people, connectedness with a Transcendent dimension is a part of spirituality (Bosacki, 2001; Elton-Chalcraft, 2002; Fisher, 1999; Hyde, 2004; Tacey, 2003). Hay and Nye (2006) argue that spirituality involves a deep down awareness of ones relationship with ones self, and with everything that is other than ones self. The following section synthesizes the theory of spiritual intelligence with theoretical approaches used in dream research, particularly those pertaining to dreams that have a spiritual impact upon the dreamer, and dreams related to death and grieving. Spiritual Intelligence and Problem Solving It is possible to conceive of spirituality as a type of intelligence (Emmons, 1999, 2000; Hyde, 2003, 2004; Kwilecki, 2000; Zohar & Marshall, 2000). One hallmark feature of intelligence concerns the ability to solve problems (Ruzgis & Grigorenko, 1994; Walters & Gardner, 1986). Zohar and Marshall (2000) dene spiritual intelligence as the mental aptitude used by human beings to address and nd solutions to problems of meaning and value in life. In drawing on discourse arising from theories of motivation and personality, Emmons (1999) further suggests that people are able to use spiritual resources to solve problems:
The adaptive processing of spiritual information is a part of intelligence, and individual differences in the skills with which such processing occurs constitute core features of

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personality. Spirituality can serve as a source of information to individuals, and, as a function of interests and aptitudes, individuals become more or less skilled at processing this information (p. 163).

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James (1901/1977) and Maslow (1970) argued that an individuals spiritual experience1 can act as a mechanism for problem solving in relation to issues of meaning and value. Dreams that people describe as signicant, or spiritual, have often been related to solving practical problems: in the dream incubation temples of the ancient world, people would nd medical diagnoses or cures in their dreams (Gollnick, 1987; Van de Castle, 1994); Kekule claimed to have solved the chemical structure of benzene in a dream (Bulkeley, 2000); children nd solutions to daily problems including resolving arguments with friends or overcoming nerves about participating in school events (Adams, 2003). At times, the solving of problems through dreams has been directly related to issues of meaning and value, with dreams of deceased loved ones offering specic examples, particularly because the dreams subject matter, by denition, can raise or reect questions of the purpose of life and death for the bereaved. One example of a child responding to such a dream is that of Amy, a 10-year-old secular girl, whose dream featured her deceased grandmother sitting on a bus. Amy, who was trying to understand and accept her grandmothers recent death, interpreted the dream of the bus journey as symbolic of a journey to heaven. Amy believed the dream showed that she and her grandmother would be reunited in heaven in the future (Adams, 2004). In making this interpretation, Amy resolved, at least in part, issues related to the loss of her grandmother concerning life beyond death; it helped her to cope with the grief in the belief that she had not permanently lost her grandmother. Finally, in relation to spirituality, neuroscientic studies indicate that particular sites of the human brain become active when a person contemplates, or apperceives spiritual experience (e.g., Persinger, 1996; Ramachandran & Blakeslee, 1998). Newberg, dAquili, and Rause (2001) identify four association areas of the human brain which become active in producing the minds spiritual potential. These association areas evolved over thousands of years to enable an individual to adapt and to nd solutions to problems of meaning and value. Central to their thesis is that an important function of the human brain is to solve problems, which is a key feature of intelligence. If the human brain has evolved with structures enabling people to addressing issues of meaning and value within their life contexts, then this may render spiritual intelligence as plausible.

Spiritual Experience, Spiritual Dreams, and Childhood While investigating spiritual experiences, Robinson (1977) gathered data from adults and found that many had occurred during their childhood years. These experiences remained vivid memories for the correspondents, who spoke of them
1 Although both James (1901/1977) and Maslow (1970) use the term religious experience, they are in fact referring to the psychological, or mystical, experience of the individual, which often results in a sense of oneness and unity. In essence, they are referring to spiritual experience, regardless of whether that experience contains what might be described as typically religious content, or otherwise.

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as having great personal signicance when contemplating issues of identity and meaning in life. While the accounts may have become embellished over time, Robinson argues that it is difcult to ignore the impact of these experiences, which in some way generated reection in the individual. Robinsons (1977) comments have parallels with those who report dreams which impact on their spiritual lives, particularly as these often occur during childhood (see Adams, 2003; Siegel & Bulkeley, 1998). Given that individuals and cultures dene spirituality in different ways, such dreams will inevitably vary in both content and how they impact upon the individual. However, authors have identied some general characteristics, and as Bulkeley (2000) observes, such dreams can come to people irrespective of their religious or nonreligious stance. Jung (1946) classied these as big dreams, describing them as those which stand out for years like spiritual landmarks, even though they may never be quite understood (p. 117). Jung (1933) also suggested that big dreams often occurred at times when the dreamer faced mental or spiritual difculties. Bulkeley (2000) suggests that such dreams can impact on the dreamer in a variety of ways, which include offering reassurance, bringing new ways of understanding, and bringing greater self-understanding. Here, the theory of spiritual intelligence intersects with dream theory, with individuals in both cases addressing problems of meaning through a spiritual experience. Another possible impact of a big dream, according to Bulkeley (2000), relates to assisting people in coming to terms with death and possibly offering insights into the relationship between living and dying. Bulkeley and Bulkley (2005) report in depth on how people who are dying can have dreams which impact signicantly upon them. Such dreams often enable them to reduce the fear of death and/or engage with new understandings of the meanings of life and death; helping to, in essence, solve the problems of coming to terms with their impending death. Again, this response to the dream parallels the theory of spiritual intelligence which, according to Emmons (1999), maintains that individuals use it in order attain the goal of resolving problems of meaning and value (see also Zohar & Marshall, 2000). Garelds (1996) study of dreams of deceased loved ones over the course of the grieving period concluded that the changes in these dreams correlate with the stages of the grieving process, with the content reecting the stage of grieving that the dreamer has reached. Similarly, Barrett (1992) studied how deceased people appeared in dreams in 77 reports and placed them into one or more of four categories, one of which featured the deceased person offering the dreamer advice, accounting for 23% of the reports. Barrett identies reassurance as a category. These dreams often provide the dreamer with a resolution to grief, for example offering an explanation about the death. Through nding meaning in such dreams, the dreamers are able to attain the practical goal of solving problems of meaning again, a hallmark of spiritual intelligence (Emmons, 2000; Zohar & Marshall, 2000). Siegel and Bulkeley (1998), Bulkeley (2000), Mallon (2002), and Adams (2004, 2005) all record childrens accounts of dreams which have been related to death. Several of these narratives reveal how children found consolation or meaning in the dreams, which to some extent helped overcome their loss. The following section applies the theories of spiritual intelligence and spiritual dreams related to death to the dreams of two children, in order to gain further insight into how the children made meaning from them.

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CHILDRENS DREAMS: FINDING MEANING THROUGH SPIRITUAL INTELLIGENCE This section details two case studies of childrens dreams which are related to death. The data were gathered through interviews with the children who both live in the United Kingdom. The childrens accounts of their dreams, the circumstances surrounding them and the childrens responses to them, are situated in the context of the theoretical framework outlined above. The childrens names are ctionalized. The phrase nding meaning refers to the childrens responses to their dreams. Essentially, the girls cited here, like many other children, interpreted their dream, reecting upon it and nding meaning in it as opposed to simply dismissing and/or forgetting the dream.

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Preparations for Bereavement Samantha is a 10-year-old girl who lives with her parents and two younger siblings in an economically deprived inner city. Like many children of her age in the United Kingdom, she owned a pet who was very special to her. The pet was a hamster named Hammy and Samanthas father had taken Hammy to the veterinary surgeon for a diagnosis after he had become ill. At the time of the visit, Samantha had a dream in which an angel came to her and said Hammy would be happier and he would be looked after well and he wouldnt feel any pain or anything. Samantha understood this to mean that her pet would soon die, but that he would have a better life after his physical death. However, this information contradicted her fathers words of compassion that followed his visit to the vets: I said to Dad I think [Hammys] going to die, and Dad said dont worry. But I dont think I am that stupid actually. . . The dream proved to be accurate, overriding her fathers opinion, and Hammy soon died, yet Samantha found the dream reassuring. Although naturally saddened by losing her pet, Samantha was pleased that the angel had informed her of his death in a nice way as this had helped to prepare her for the event. For this child, her response to the dream may be seen in the context of spirituality and spiritual intelligence. Samantha explained how she believed that after people and animals die, they go to heaven where they continue to live. The dream was reassuring for her because it had conrmed her belief in an afterlife: for Samantha, the angel was a real angel as opposed to a representation of one. In line with Jungs (1933) theory of big dreams, the dream came at a time of spiritual difculty for Samantha. Bulkeley and Bulkleys (2005) work illustrates how people have dreams which anticipate a death. Their theory is also applicable to Samanthas dream, which appears to be fullling that function of anticipation ofand preparation forHammys death. While the child was mature enough to know that her pets death was imminent and inevitable, she also needed a mechanism to cope with this knowledge. One means of doing so was to believe that after Hammys physical death, he would still be alive, albeit in a different state. Her dream afrmed this viewpoint through the angels auditory message and she was able to cope with the impending death coping being one possible outcome of a big dream as Bulkeley (2000) suggests.

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As Emmons (1999) and Zohar and Marshall (2000) argue, the application of spiritual intelligence can assist the individual in solving problems of meaning, which is what appears to have occurred here. That is, Samantha inferred a connection between earthly life and an afterlife in heaven. The solution to coping with Hammys death may have been this belief that death would not be the end for him. Similarly, Emmons (1999) suggests that the use of spiritual intelligence can positively impact upon a persons well-being. This was indicated in Samanthas own words, when she explained that the dream had made her . . .feel a lot happier cos sometimes I feel upset about [Hammys death] but when I think about the dream I feel a lot happier. However, it was not only Samanthas own well-being that was at the core of this issue. She was the eldest of three children and her younger siblings were struggling to cope with their pets illness, this being the rst time that they had faced an issue of death. Samantha adopted a pastoral role. She explained that the dream had helped her to console her brother and sister by assuring them that Hammy would be living a blissful life after his bodily death. She had been able to offer them comfort based upon the meaning she had found in the dream. In reecting upon her dream, Samantha was seeking a solution to the problem posed by her concern for her siblings feelings. Their sadness was distressing for her and this caring role was an area of meaning and value for her. In responding to her dream in this way, she was possibly using spiritual intelligence not only to address her own well-being but also that of her brother and sister.

Dreaming of the Deceased This second case study is of an 11-year-old girl named Claire who lives in the suburbs of a large industrial city in the United Kingdom with her parents and her younger brother. While many children have experienced the death of an adult, usually a grandparent, Claire had encountered the death of her friend three years prior to our meeting, when both girls had been eight years old. Claire explained that the dream about her friend came two and a half years after the bereavement. She narrated the dream as follows: It was this big golden tunnel and I was walking through it and she was at the end of it and, em, she was there and I was just talking to her and I says, whats happening? The girls continued to have a brief conversation, during which her friend described how she was happy with new friends and Claire told her about events at school, before the dream ended. Claire thought that the tunnel was the gate to heaven. Claire described two emotions during the dream happiness and fear. She felt happy because she was able to see her friend again because it had been a long time since they saw each other. Simultaneously, she felt scared in the dream because she was uncertain about what was going to happen next. However, on waking, she explained that she felt happier because she knew that her friend was well and had made new friends. Given that Claires dream occurred three years after the death of her friend, it is possible that she was in the latter stages of grieving. As Mallon (2005) suggests, dreams in which the deceased person visits the dreamer can indicate that the bereaved person has moved from disbelief to acceptance. This acceptance may also

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be indicated by Claires reassurance that her friend was well; reassurance being a key feature of this type of dream of the deceased (Barrett, 1992), and also of a big dream (Bulkeley, 2000). While Claire could have viewed the dream as one that simply brought back memories of her friend, she appears to have made meaning from the golden tunnel and the conversation the girls had. As Fisher (1999), Bosacki (2001), EltonChalcraft (2002), Tacey (2003), and Hyde (2004) have noted, for some people connectedness with a transcendent dimension is an aspect of spirituality. For Claire, the dream certainly had religious connotations and dealt with issues of life after death. Rather than simply perceiving the dream as a combination of images derived from memories of her friend and ideas of what the gates to heaven might be like, Claire has found meaning that also embodied a transcendent dimension. Thus, Emmons (1999, 2000), Zohar and Marshall (2000), Kwilecki (2000), and Hydes (2003, 2004) denition of spirituality as a type of intelligence (which for some involves what they might term a transcendent dimension) is applicable to Claire. Through the application of a spiritual intelligence, she has at least partially solved a problem of meaning in her life, as well as nding reassurance that her deceased friend appeared to be, in her understanding, still alive.

LIMITATIONS AND IMPLICATIONS Although the dreams reported in this article have been limited to two case studies, what has become apparent in the analysis is that both of the children appeared to have attributed their own meaning to their dream, and hence, had undertaken their own method of dream interpretation. For Samantha, this related to her response to the angels words in the dream that she perceived to be a message. Her interpretation of the words responds closely to the auditory message dreams that have been recorded since ancient times (see Oppenheim, 1966; Gnuse, 1996; Adams, 2005). For Claire, her response was one of the dream being a lived experience of meeting and conversing with her deceased friend. While limited to two case studies, it can nonetheless also be argued that both children used their spiritual intelligence in drawing upon their dreams, enabling them to address and contribute to solving a problem of personal meaning and value. Furthermore, their dreams and responses to them conveyed a sense of connectedness with those who were dying connectedness being one of the dening features of a spiritual experience (James, 1901/1977; Maslow, 1970; Tacey, 2000). The notion of spiritual intelligence as a means by which to address and solve such problems of meaning and value reects the descriptions, which have been offered earlier in this article, and it seems these two children responded to their dream in this way. Furthermore, in both instances, the girls responded to their dreams using spiritual intelligence, which may have contributed positively to the well-being of each child. For Samantha, the recollection of her dream brought her comfort and helped her to feel happier, thereby contributing positively to her well-being. Claires dream, with its religious connotations, assisted her in nding reassurance about her deceased friend and, in this way, may also have contributed positively to her wellbeing.

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The well-being of children and adolescents has become a research priority in many western countries. An area of further research may involve investigating the extent to which the type of dreams discussed in this article contributes positively to the well-being of those who experience them. One aspect of this would entail measuring well-being. Several psychological studies have suggested ways by which to measure the construct of well-being generally (e.g., Diener, Emmons, Larsen, & Grin, 1985; Pavot & Diener, 1993). It may be possible to take further examples of responses to dreams that appear to have drawn on spiritual intelligence and measure the impact on the individuals well-being. Further research into how children nd meaning in dreams, experience signicant dreams, and the possible impact on their well-being would have implications for a range of professions who engage with children and young people, including health professionals, youth and social workers, as well as educators. In some instances, for example, health professionals may be able to provide opportunities for patients to use their spiritual intelligence when drawing upon certain types of their own dreams to enhance their sense of well-being. Similarly, educators teaching children may be in a position to enable the children themselves to draw on their experiences of dreaming in order to teach various aspects of the curriculum in ways which are relevant to children (see Adams, 2008; Jones, 1987). It is acknowledged that dreams have many layers of meaning and thus there may be other meanings which can apply to the girls dreams reported here. However, this article focuses on the childrens independent (i.e., not dialogic) interpretation of their dreams, and not the meaning that adults might impose on them. This point gives rise to further implications for qualitative researchers exploring dreams which have signicance for the dreamer. By locating the childrens responses to their dreams in the context of the theory of spiritual intelligence, this conceptual framework offers a means of further understanding the processes by which some children respond to their dreams. The application of this theory of spiritual intelligence to different types of dreams is also an area for future research. Children have reported responses to divine dreams (Adams, 2003), traumatic dreams related to living in war zones (Punama ki, 1999), in addition to a variety of different types of dream (Mallon, 2002; Siegel & Bulkeley, 1998). The possibility that children have used spiritual intelligence when nding meaning in some dreams that are not related to the deceased is thus an area for further investigation. Because this article is a theoretical interpretation with vignettes to illustrate the theory, further articles could offer more thorough lists of the variety of childrens dreams described in the literature at different stages of grief. The responses of children of different ages, with different cognitive abilities, could also be an area for future study. Finally, it is possible that the childrenin nding reassurance in dreams related to deathare responding in the same way that many adults do (see Barrett, 1992; Bulkeley & Bulkley, 2005; Gareld, 1996). If this is the case, then children should be acknowledged for their insight into dreams, which is comparable to that of adults, particularly because the childrens response to their dreams is often intuitive rather than actively learned.

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CONCLUSION Dreams of the deceased are not uncommon among children. Although dreams of this nature may be disturbing, many offer reassurance and can assist children in their search for meaning in relation to issues concerning life and death. Through the use of qualitative methods, this article has investigated how some children make meaning from dreams related to death by synthesizing the theory of spiritual intelligence with theoretical approaches to dreaming. It has presented two case studies in which children appeared to have used their spiritual intelligence when drawing upon their dreams, thereby enabling them to address and perhaps solve a problem of meaning and value in their lives. In so doing, this article has offered insight into the possible processes by which Samantha and Claire may have been able to make meaning from their dreams; meaning which helped them come to terms with the death of a pet and friend with whom they had emotional bonds.

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