Contents

Drunk from A to Z Until Page 133

Quotes and Trivia Thereafter
After that...Stuff Apropos of Boots...
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A-B
A beat up tank - College slang.
A bit high
A bit lit - Slightly drunk. First noted
around 1925.
A bit on - British & US, since the
1800s
A bit under
A bit under the weather
A brewer
A couple of chapters into the novel
A cup too much - Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
A few too many
A glass too much
A date with John Barleycorn - Sir
John Barleycorn is the
personification of strong beer, malt liquor, or whisky made from barley.
A drop on - A "drop" is a quantity of stimulant.
A drop too much
A guest in the attic - Cf. "Queer in the attic."
A jag on
A little cut over the head - Slightly intoxicated.
A little gone
A little in the suds
A peg too low - Tipsy. Since 1880. Cf. "Pegged too low."
A piece of bread and cheese in the attic - Cf. "Queer in the attic."
A public mess
A real bender
A real party animal
A sheet in the wind - Tipsy. See "Three sheets in the wind."
A sheet in the wind's eye
A sheet or two to the wind
A slave to drink
A soul - Drunk esp. on brandy. Pun on "soul" meaning "person" and
French "sol" meaning "drunk."
Aboard - From the concept of loading a ship. Cf. "Loaded."
About blowed one's top
About done - US, mid 1900s
About drunk
About full
About gone - About dead (drunk). US, early 1900s
About had it
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About half drunk
About right - US, mid 1900s.
About shot
About to cave in
About to go under
About to pass out
Absolutely done
Above par - Mildly drunk. Since around 1870.
Absent
Absolutely shited
Abuzz/A-buzz
Aced
Acting like a fool
Acting silly
Activated
Adam's apple up - I.e., on one's back. Cf. "Topsy-turvy."
Addled - From "addle," meaning putrid drinking water or rotten urine;
thus, "rotten drunk." Alternately, from "addle-pated," meaning stupid.
Early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Admiral of the narrow seas - Refers to a drunk who throws up in his
neighbor's lap. Nautical and tavern use, 1650s to 1800s.
Admiral of the red
Adrip - Sated. US use.
Afflicted - Tipsy. Since the early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Afloat - From "Back teeth afloat." British & US, late 1800s to 1930s.
AFU - All Fucked Up.
Aglow - Cf. "Glowing."
Ajumao - Puerto Rican slang
Alcied
Alcoholic
Alcoholized - To "alcoholize" means to drink, esp. intemperately. US,
1900s.
Alcoholled
Alderman Lushington is concerned - Means that somebody is inebriated.
"Alderman Lushington" is intoxicating beverages. Mr. Lushington was
once a well-known London brewer. Cf. "A date with John Barleycorn."
Australian.
Alecy/Alecie - Pronounced ale-see. Intoxicated with ale. A cross between
"ale" and "lunacy." As a noun, means the state of drunkenness. Old
nonce preserved in dictionaries since the late 1500s.
Alecied
Aled up
Ale-washed
Alight
Alkeyed/Alkied - From "alky" (alternate form "alki"), slang for "alcohol."
US, 1900s.
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Alkied/Alkeyed-up - US, 1900s.
Alky soaked - See "Alkeyed."
All at sea - Bobbing up and down, perhaps throwing up. Alternately, may
mean confused or in an uncertain situation. Nautical, 1900s.
All buzzed up
All fawked up - Really drunk; really intoxicated; really high; totally
obliterated. Probably a partial disguise of "All fucked up." Northern
Michigan college slang.
All fucked up
All geezed up
All gone - Dead drunk. US, 1900s.
All gowed up
All het up - See "Het up."
All in - Probably from this phrase-s sense of "exhausted."
All in a heap
All jacked up
All keyhole
All liquored up
All lit up
All mops and brooms - One theory of this phrase's origin is that it
originated at annual fairs in certain districts in England, where servants
were hired and much drinking was done. Women who sought employment
as maids supposedly brought mops and brooms to indicate the type of
work they would do. Also, cf. "Drunk as a besom."
All one can hold - Cf. "Loaded."
All organized
All out - Entirely drunk.
All pendejo - Stupid, so apparently means made stupid by liquor.
All pink elephants
All pissed up with nothing to show - Having spent all one-s earnings on
liquor. Since circa 1910.
All sails spread - Cf. "Three sheets in the wind."
All schnozzled
All schnozzled up
All shot
All shucked up
All steamed
All steamed up
All there
All wet
Almost froze/frozen
Almost intoxicated
Altogether drunk - Cf. "Angel-altogether."
Altogetherly - From "Altogether drunk." British society use since the
1800s.
Altogethery - British, from circa 1912; now obsolete.
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Ambushed
Amiably incandescent
Amidst one;s cups - See "In one;s cups."
Among the Philistines - See "Been among the Philistines."
Among the pots
Amuck
Anchored in Sot's Bay - Nautical slang, 1900s.

Anesthetized - Cf. "Feeling no pain."
Angel-altogether - "Angels altogether" are habitual drunkards.
Annihilated - Extremely drunk. Often used by the comedy team Cheech
and Chong.
Antifreezed - "Antifreeze" is slang for booze.
Antiseptic - Possibly because alcohol (rubbing alcohol, not the drinking
kind) is sometimes used as an antiseptic.
A.O.B. - Abbreviation for "alcohol on breath." Police terminology
indicating that a suspect has been imbibing.
Ape
Ape drunk
Aped - US. Cf. "Wine of ape."
Apple palsy - Extremely intoxicated. Means drunk on apple jack, or liquor
made from apple cider. US, late 1800s - early 1900s.
Arf an' arf - "Half and half," slightly drunk. Also, "arf an' arf" is ale
mixed with porter. Cockney, since the early 1800s.
Arfarfanarf - "Half, half and half," very drunk. Means one has had too
much "arf an' arf." Cockney, late 1800s - early 1900s.
Arfarfanark - Variation of the above.
Arm-bending - Cf. "Bent one's elbow."
Aroused
Arseholed - See following term.
Arseholes/Arse-holes - Extremely drunk. From "Pissed as arseholes."
Since the 1400s.
A-showin' it
As drunk as they make 'em - Utterly drunk. Since the mid 1800s.
As full as a goog - "Goog" is a variation of the northern English
slangword "goggie," meaning an egg.
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As good conditioned as a puppy - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
As wise as Solomon
Ashed - From the sputtering, stammering speech of a drunkard: "Ash-
ash-ash-"
Ashed as a rat - Elaboration of the above. Cf. "Drunk as a rat."
Asotus
Ass backwards - Confused. From the phrase's sense of "in a confused
manner."
Ass on backwards
Ass over tit
A-tappin' the bottle
At a booze fest
At ease
At one's cups - Cf. "In one's cups."
At one's ease
At peace with the floor
At rest - British euphemism from the 1800s.
At rights
Ate the dog - Cf. "Killed the dog."
Awash - Full of liquid, drowning in booze. Possibly a shortening of
"Decks awash" (cf.). 1900s.
Awry
Awry-eyed - Cockeyed drunk. US, early 1900s. Cf. "Hoary-eyed."

Babalas - Tipsy. From Ndebele "babarasi," meaning drunk or suffering a
hangover. Used by the Rhodesian Light Infantry.
Bacchanalian - From Bacchus, the Roman god of wine. "Bacchanals" is a
drunken carouse.
Bacchi plenus - Full of Bacchus (Latin). Cf. "Drunk as Bacchus." British
& US, since the 1800s.
Bacchus-bulged
Bacchus-butted
Back-assward - Cf. "Ass backwards."
Back-handed - To "back hand" means to drink more than one's share.
Also, a "back-hand" is an extra drink.
Back home
Back teeth afloat - Indicates that one has a strong urge to urinate, as if
the level of liquid in one's body has reached the teeth. The original
meaning is that one is intoxicated; the fact that drinking beer in
quantity gives one the urge to relieve oneself often gave rise to its
second meaning.
Back teeth well afloat
Backed - "Dead" drunk. Because one has been placed on one's back.
Backed up - Possibly related to "backed" for "dead," or originated as
drug slang.
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Backwards
Bagged - A "bag" is a pot of beer. To "put on the bag" means to drink.
Or, this term may come from "bag" in the sense to "kill." US, 1900s.
Baked - Possibly originated in drug culture. Alternately, may be from
this word's sense of "exhausted" or "collapsed." Cf. "Fried." Since circa
1910.
Ball-dozed - Befuddled by drink. Play on "Bull-dozed." Australian, since
circa 1942.
Balmy - Sleepy, or a little bit mad. A variation of "Barmy." US, since the
mid 1800s.
Bamboozled - Made a fool, in this case by drunkenness. From this word's
meaning of "cheated" or "swindled." US, since the 1800s.
Bang through the elephant
Banged up on sauce
Banged up to the eyes - Mid 1800s to early 1900s.
Banging
Banjaxed - Variation of "Banjanxed."
Banjanxed - From Irish term for "broken," "ruined," "messed up" or "out
of order." May be "banged (about)" plus "smashed."
Baptized - Saturated with liquor. US nonce, mid 1900s. Cf. "Basted."
Bar kissing
Barfy - Probably means drunk and throwing up.
Barley sick/Barleysick - "Barley broth" and "oil of barley" both mean
strong beer.
Barmy - "Barm" is the froth that rises to the top of fermented grains or
fruit and yeast after the mixture has fermented. Today it more often
means "crazy" or "air-headed." Or, it originally meant "crazy," meaning
that it was probably inspired by the County Kent mental institution at
Barming.
Barrel fever
Barreled - To "barrel" means to drink to excess.
Barreled-up - US, 1900s.
Barrelhouse - Probably a shortening of the next term.
Barrelhouse drunk - Heavily intoxicated, almost blotto. A barrelhouse is
a sleazy tavern. US, early 1900s.
Bashed - Possibly from "bash" as in "party."
Bashing - Drinking heavily.
Bashing it
Basted - In the sense of having liquid poured
upon oneself. US, 1900s.
Bats - Cf. "Batty."
Batted - Given to debauchery. US, 1900s.
Battered - Cf. "Basted"; suggests that one has
been roughly handled. US, since the mid
1800s.
Batty - From "bat," a drunken carouse. US,
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1900s.
Beamfill't
Beargered/Be-argered - Quarrelsomely drunk. British & US, since the
1870s.
Bearing one's blushing honors thick upon one - Having the red face of a
drunk. Appears in Shakespeare's Henry VIII. Cf. "Has one's flag out."
Bearing the ensign - See "Flying the ensign."
Beastly drunk - Exceedingly drunk. Circa 1600, Thomas Nashe described
seven kinds of drunkards: "The ape-drunk, who leaps and sings; the lion-
drunk, who is quarrelsome; the swine-drunk, who is sleepy and puking;
the sheep-drunk, wise in his own conceit but unable to speak; the
martin-drunk, who drinks himself sober again; the goat-drunk, who is
lascivious; and the fox-drunk, who is crafty."
Beating up against an ale-head wind - Tacking (changing direction) all
over the place. An "ale-head wind" is a drunken sailor. Cf. "Making
Virginia fence." Nautical, since the 1800s.
Beautifully lit
Been among the Philippines/Philippians
Been among the Philistines - A "Philistine" is a drunkard. Noted by
Benjamin Franklin.
Been at a plowing match
Been at an Indian feast - Early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Been at Geneva - "Geneva" or "Geneva print" is slang for gin.
Been at the Scriveners and learned to make indentures - Refers to the
staggering gait and difficulty in standing. Cf. "Making indentures with
one's legs." Tavern term.
Been barring too much
Been before George - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Been bit by a barn mouse - See "Bitten by a barn mouse."
Been bitten by the tavern bitch - See "Tavern bitch has bitten one on
the head."
Been crooking the elbow - See "Bent one's elbow."
Been driving the brewer's horse - See "Driving the brewer's horse."
Been drowning the shamrock - See "Drowning the shamrock."
Been elephants - Cf. "Seeing pink elephants," "Elephant's trunk."
Been flying rather high
Been having the eyes opened - See "Having the eyes opened."
Been in a storm
Been in southern California too long
Been in the bibbing pot - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Been in the cellar
Been in the crown office - Here, "crown office" may refer to one's head.
Cf. "In the upper story."
Been in the sauce
Been in the sun - Refers to the reddened appearance of a drunk. Cf.
"Has the sun in one's eyes." Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
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Been in the sunshine - Since the early 1900s.
Been lapping (in) the gutter - See "Lapping the gutter." Also, cf. "In the
gutter."
Been lifting the little finger
Been looking through a glass - Mid 1800s to early 1900s.
Been looking through rose-colored glasses
Been making fun
Been making Ms and Ts - Staggering. Cf. "Making Ms and Ws."
Been on sentry - See "On sentry."
Been standing too long in the sun
Been talking to Jamie Moore
Been there and back
Been to a funeral - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.

Been to/at Barbados - Barbados is whence rum comes.
Been to Bungay Fair - Shortening of following term. Or, perhaps, the
following is an elaboration of this.
Been to Bungay Fair and broke both one's legs - An elaborate pun on
"bung."
Been to France - Early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Been to Jehrico
Been to Mexico - See "Gone to Mexico."
Been to Olympus - Mount Olympus is home to the Greek and Roman
gods, including Dionysus/Bacchus, god of wine.
Been to the saltwater
Been too free - Possibly a contraction of one of the following.
Been too free with Sir John - Either Sir John Goa or Sir John
Strawberry. Also, in Irish slang a "Johnnie" is a drink of whisky.
Been too free with Sir John Barleycorn - See "A date with John
Barleycorn."
Been too free with Sir John Strawberry - Sir John Strawberry is a
cousin of Sir John Barleycorn.
Been too free with Sir Richard - Cf. "Sir Richard has taken off one's
considering cap."
Been too free with the creature - "The creature" is liquor. See "Cup-shot."
Been too free with the strawberry
Been trying Taylor's best
Been with Sir John Goa
Beer-muddled
Beer-soaked
Beered
Beerified - US, 1900s. "Beeriness" is near-intoxication.
Beerily
Beering - To "beer" means to drink beer, or to get drunk.
Beering up - Drinking a lot of beer, esp. drinking enough to get drunk. A
"beer-up" is a drinking spree.
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Beery - Fuddled with beer. Since the mid 1800s.
Befuddled - The Oxford English Dictionary traces this word as far back
as the 1500s.
Beginning to fly
Beginning to get a glow on - Cf. "Glowing."
Beginning to stagger
Behind juice
Behind the cork - Patterned on the phrase "Behind the 8-ball." US,
1900s.
Behind the scenes - Dead drunk.
Belligerent - College slang.
Belly up - Dead drunk. From cowboy slang for "dead."
Below the mahogany - The "mahogany" is the wood of which the bar is
made. Cf. "Under the table."
Belted - From "belt," a drink of liquor, esp. one that is consumed quickly.
To "belt" is to drink, esp. vigorously and often. "Belt" is obsolete slang for
"swallow." Also, a "belt" is the euphoria following consumption of alcohol.
Belting the grape - Imbibing heavily, getting a buzz. Normally applied to
wine, but can be used for any alcoholic beverage. US, mid 1900s.
Bemused - In the stupid stage of drunkenness. From the word's meaning
of "confused." 1700s to 1800s.
Bemused with/in beer
Bending one's/the elbow - "See Bent one's elbow."
Bending over
Bending the elbow too much - Drinking to excess. Since circa 1905.
Ben-/Bene-bowsie - Drunk, esp. with good wine. "Bene bowse" is good
liquor. The cant term "benbouse" refers to beer.
Bent - College slang. A "bend" or "bender" is a drinking spree. To "bend"
means to drink hard.
Bent one-s/an elbow - Has been imbibing. To "bend one's elbow" means
to partake of liquor, usually whisky, esp. heavily. "Elbow bending" means
drinking alcohol, and an "el
souse.
Bent and broken
Bent like shrimp
Bent out of shape - Very drunk, stoned.
Benused - Possibly a var
suggesting
Besopp
Besot
Besotted
Besotten
Bet one-s kettle
Better if one-s
Betty booped
Bevied/Bevvied - From "bevie" or "bevvy," slang
bow bender" is a
iation of "Bemused,"
"been used."
en
gone twice after the same load
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for "beverage," used esp. for beer. To "bevie" or "bevvy up" means to
drink alcohol, esp. bee
Bewildered
Bewitched - Primarily US, has been around since the early 1700s.
Bewottled
Beyond salvage
Beyond the fringe
Bezzled - To "bezzle" is to drink greedily in British dialect. Since the
early 1600s.
Biargered - Modern version of "
r. British & US army use since the late 1800s.
Beargered."
Bibacious - "Bibacity" is a craving for alcohol. Early 1600s.
Bibamus papaliter - See "Drunk as a pope."
Bibulous - Mid 1800s.
Biffed - Possibly related to "biff," to kill or hit; or a variation of "Biffy."
Biffy - Variant of "Buffy," or a combination of "bosky" with "tipsy" or
"squiffy." British & US, 1900s.
Biggy - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Biled - Regional variation of "Boiled."
Biled as an owl
Billygoat - Term popular with a small British army unit in Hong Kong.
Cf. "Stiff as a goat," "Drunk as forty billygoats."
Binged - Having been on a drinking binge. "Binge" may come from
"bingo," slang for liquor, esp. brandy; it comes from "b" for "brandy" plus
"stingo," British slang for strong booze. This term means "eccentric" as
well.
Bingoe/Bingoed/Bingo'd - Having drunk too much "bingo." British & US
society and underground, early 1900s.
Bipped out - Jersey City slang.
Bit
Bit by a barn weasel - Tavern term, 1670-1700.
Bit by a fox
Bit on - Tipsy.
Bit one's grannam - Heavily inebriated. Tavern term. "Grannam" is slang
for corn. Since circa 1650.
Bit one's name in - See "Biting one's name in."
Bit teed - This and the rest of the "bit" terms mean slightly drunk.
Bit teed up
Bit tiddley
Bit tipsy
Bit wobbly
Bitch-fou - See "Fou."
Biting in/into the brute - Getting drunk.
Biting the brute
Biting one's grannam - Very drunk. See "Bit one's grannam." Mid 1600s
to 1700s.
Biting one's name in - Drinking heavily or greedily.
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Biting them off - To "bite one off" means to have a drink of strong
liquor.
Bitten by a barn mouse - Tipsy. Possibly an allusion to barley.
Black jacked - Probably from "black jack," a jug made of jacked leather.
Blacked out - Unconscious.
Bladdered - Scottish slang
Blah - Blind drunk. Since circa 1930.
Blammed
Blank - Shortening of "Blanked." British army slang.
Blanked/Blank-ed - Tipsy. Derived from French "vin blanc," white wine.
British & US slang during both World Wars.
Blas - Satiated with (drunken) pleasure.
Blasted - Very drunk. From drug slang. US, 1900s.
Blazing drunk
Blazing fou
Bleary
Bleary-eyed - US, 1900s.
Blew out - Very drunk. College slang.
Blewed - Variant of "Blued."
Blighted
Blimped - Gorged and swollen. US, since the mid 1900s.
Blind - Very drunk. A "blind" is a very drunken spree. Cf. "Blinded."
Since the early 1600s.
Blind as a bat
Blind as a beetle
Blind as a boiled/biled owl
Blind as a mole
Blind as an owl
Blind as Chloe - Utterly drunk. See "Drunk as Chloe." 1780 to 1860.
Blind chance
Blind drunk - Deeply intoxicated. US and British, since the late 1700s.
Blind-fou - Scottish. See "Fou."
Blind, staggering drunk
Blind staggers - Blotto. From term for extreme intoxication. Australian.
Blind to the world - Possibly a variation on "Dead to the world."
Blinded - Very drunk. From the fact that homemade brews occasionally
cause blindness. Also, a "blind" or "blinder" is a drunken spree. US,
1900s.
Blinders - Extremely drunken. British (esp. Oxford University), since
circa 1930.
Blindo/Blind-O - A "blindo" is a drunken spree. British (esp. army) & US,
since the 1800s and still in use at least as late as the 1920s.
Blindo-blotto
Blinking drunk - "Blinking" is a British euphemism for "bloody" (see
"Bloody drunk"). British army use.
Blinky - A "bit of blink" is a drink. Cf. "Scotch mist," "Brahms & Liszt,"
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etc.
Blissed
Blissed out - In a state of exhilaration or blissful ecstasy
Blistered - Tipsy. Australian, since circa 1910.
Blithered - Tipsy. Australian, since the early 1900s.
Blithero-blotto
Blitzed - College student use. Possibly a variation of "Bombed"; suggests
the devastation of the German blitzes during World War II. US, since the
mid 1900s.
Blitzed out
Blitzkrieged
Bloated - Overfilled with drink. Also, a "bloat" or "bloater" is a drunkard.
Blobbing
Block and block - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Block and fall - Irritably drunk. Anglo-Irish, 1900s.
Blocked - Because intoxication "blocks out" everything. To "block out"
means to get stoned. May have originated as drug slang. British & US,
mid 1900s.
Blonked - Variation of "Blanked."
Bloody drunk - In Great Britain, "bloody" is roughly equivalent to "damn"
or "damned" in the US when used as an intensive. It is believed to be a
corruption of "by our lady."
Blooey/Bluey
Blootered - Scottish slang
Blotted - Cf. Following.
Blotto - Dead drunk. A "blotter" is a drunkard. From the absorbency of
blotting paper; possibly influenced by "Motto." Or, because drunkenness
tends to "blot" out one's memory. British & US, since circa 1912.
Blottoed
Blowed - A "blow" is a drunken spree.
Blowed-away - US, since the mid 1900s.
Blowing - Drinking intemperately.
Blowing beer bubbles
Blown - From the term for an exhausted horse.
Blown away - Deeply intoxicated. Possibly originated as a drug term.
Blown out - Possibly derived from drug slang. Also, a "blow out" is a
drinking spree or wild party. "Blow one" is slang for "Give me a beer."
Blown over
Blown up - From the feeling of pressure in one's head. Cf. "Got on one's
little hat." US, since the mid 1800s.
Blowsed up - Possibly from drug slang.
Blowzy
Blue - From the "blue devils," or delirium tremens; or from post-alcoholic
depression. Alternately, a "blue" is a drunken binge or a riotous night.
Since the early 1800s.
Blue around the gills
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Blue-eyed - US, mid 1800s.
Blued - May have influenced "Screwed" and "Slewed." To "drink 'til all
looks blue" is to get thoroughly drunk. British & US, since the 1800s.
Blunk - Half drunk; stuporous. "Blind" plus "Drunk."
Blurred and fogged with moonshine
Bob & Dick - Shortening of the following.
Bob, Harry & Dick - Sick, esp. after drinking.
Boggled
Boggy - Drugged or muddled. Ozark dialect.
Boiled - Tipsy. One source says it originated among Australian oil
prospectors. Cf. "Baked," "Fried," etc. Since the late 1800s.
Boiled as an owl - Cf. "Drunk as a boiled owl." British & US, since the
late 1800s.
Boiled as owls
Boiled to the gills
Boiling drunk - Heavily intoxicated. Patterned after "boiling mad." US,
1900s.
Bokoo soused - Very drunk. "Bokoo" is a corruption of French
"beaucoup," meaning "much" or "a great deal."
Bollixed/Bolloxed - Derived from "bollixed up," meaning messed up,
which comes from British slang "bollixed up Rawson." Also, to "bollix"
means to bungle.
Bombarded
Bombed - Extremely drunk. "Bombo" or "bumbo" is a type of punch. US,
1900s.
Bombed as Dresden - Ghoulish elaboration of
"Bombed," as are the following.
Bombed as Hiroshima
Bombed as London
Bombed as Nagasaki
Bombed out - Very intoxicated. Possibly from
drug slang.
Bombed out of one's kugs
Bombed out of one's mind
Bombed out of one's skull
Boned - Tipsy. Possibly from "boned" as in "hit
on the head." Cf. "Ossified." British society use,
since the early 1900s.
Bongo - US, since the mid 1900s.
Bongoed/Bongo'd - US, since the mid 1900s.
Bongy - Possibly from a misprint of "Bousy."
Bonkers - Slightly intoxicated, light-headed. British military, early 1900s.
Booed and hissed - Rhyming slang for "Pissed."
Boosed - Cf. the following.
Boosy - From "boose," an old variation of "booze." Cf. "Boozy."
Booze blind
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Boozed - To "booze" is to drink liquor, esp. whisky, usu. heavily. A "booze
is a drinking spree." The etymology of "booze" is uncertain; one theory is
that it comes from Old Dutch "buyzen" via Old English "bouse." The
literal meaning of these two words is "to drink deeply." Another
assumption is that it is a corruption of a German root for "to drink." Still
another hypothesis is that it comes from the name of Edmund G. Booz a
Philadelphia importer and dealer of spirits who sold his goods in a
distinctive bottle that resembled a two-story log cabin. These bottles
came to be known as Booz bottles. This last theory is doubtful, as
"booze" or some variant thereof has been around as far back as the
1500s (see "Boozy"). Since the 1800s.
Boozed as the gage - See "Gauged." Also, "gage" may refer to a chamber
pot. Early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Boozed the gage
Boozed-up - To "booze up" means to drink a lot of liquor. A "booze-up" is
a drinking spree. First recorded in Australia circa 1891.
Boozified - From the British nonce "boozify," meaning to make drunk.
Boozing
Boozing it up - Drinking hard liquor, usu. to the point of intoxication.
Boozing the/one's jib
Boozing up the lone's jib - Drinking heavily.
Boozing the/one's tip
Boozing up one's jib-stay - Nautical.
Boozington
Boozy/Boozie/Boozey - Mildly drunk. Since the early 1500s.
Boozy-woozy
Borracho/Boracho - From "borracho," a skin - usu. of a goat - for
holding wine, and by extension a drunkard. The wicked Borachio of
Shakespeare's Much Ado about Nothing gets his name from this term.
Originally Spanish.
Bosco/Bosko absoluto - Dead drunk. Mock Latin.
Boshy - "Bosky" pronounced as if one is intoxicated. British underworld.
Bosky - Almost drunk, tipsy. Possibly from "bosk," a thicket, and thus
alluding to the obscurity of thickly wooded country. Dates from circa
1730; still in British army slang in the 1920s.
Both sheets in the wind - See "Three sheets in the wind." Nautical, 1900s.
Bottle-ached - "Bottle-ache" is drunkenness or a hangover. British, since
the 1800s.
Bottled - Tipsy. The "bottle" is liquor or addiction to intoxicants. A "bottle
baby" is a drunkard. British & US society use, 1900s.
Bottled up
Bottoms up
Bought the black sun
Bought the sack - From "sack," a generic term for white wines from
Spain. 1720 to 1840.
Bouncing it off - Drinking heartily. "Bouncing" means on a spree. 1650 to
- 15 -

1750.
Bousy/Bowsy/Bowzy - "Bouse" is a variation of "booze."
'Bout had it
Bowing to the bottle - Imbibing intemperately.
Bowzed/Bowsed/Bowz'd - Variant of "Boozed." A "bouse" or "bowse" is a
drunken spree. Early 1700s.
Bowzered - Early 1700s.
Boxed - To "box (it) about" means to drink briskly. US, mid 1900s.
Boxed out - Totally free and uninhibited. Possibly derived from drug
slang.
Boxed up - US, mid 1900s.
Braced - Possibly from "bracer," a drink of alcohol; or a shortening of
"Has spliced the main brace." To "brace up" means to take a drink.
Brahms - Shortening of the following.
Brahms & Liszt - Tipsy. Rhyming slang for "Pissed."
Brain dead
Brained
Brandy faced - A "brandy face" is a drunkard. Refers to the redness of
the face. Cf. "Glowing," "Has one's flag out."
Brannigan
Breaky leg - Refers to the weakness in one's legs, or to one of the
hazards of staggering about drunk. "Breaky-leg" is any intoxicating
beverage.
Breath strong enough to carry coal with - British & US, since the late
1800s.
Breezy - Refers to alcohol-laden breath, or bonhomie brought about by
intoxication. US, mid 1800s.
Brewed
Brewed out - In college slang, a "brew out" is a beer bust.
Brick in the hat
Bridgy/Bridgey - Early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Bright-eyed
Bright in the eye - Tipsy. Refers to the sparkling expression in the eyes
when one is slightly intoxicated. British, late 1800s.
Broken
Bromian - Drunk and riotously merry. From "Bromius," one of the many
names of Dionysus/Bacchus, which comes from ancient Greek for "to
roar."
Bruised - US, since the mid 1800s.
Bubbed - "Bub" is strong drink of any kind. To "bub" is to drink.
Bubbled
Bubbly - In British army slang, "bubbly" is rum.
Bubby - Probably from "bub," beer or alcoholic drink; or "bubber," a
drinking bowl or beer drinker. British, 1600s.
Bucket is crackers
Buckled
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Budgy/Budgey - "Budge" is liquor, and may be a corruption of "booze."
British & US, late 1800s to early 1900s.
Buffed - Tipsy.
Buffy - Possibly a corruption of "Bevvy" or "Budgy." British & US, since
circa 1859.
Bug-eyed - Heavy-eyed from too much drink.
Bugged
Bugged up
Bulged - To "go on a bulge" means to drink to excess.
Bull-dozed - Very drunk. One source lists this as an Australian term that
stems from "a dose of the bull," a beating with a rawhide strip. Another
source states that it comes from the nautical practice of "bulling the
cask," namely, pouring water into an empty rum cask to keep the wood
moist. Because the water could leech out the rum in the wood, it would
thus become quite intoxicating. Since circa 1935.
Bullet proofed/Bulletproofed
Bulletproof and invisible - Possibly because intoxication sometimes gives
a feeling of invincibility.
Bummed
Bummed out - In a bad mood, depressed. From drug slang "bummer" for
a bad trip.
Bumpsy/Bumpsie - Slightly drunk, tipsy. Possibly related to "bumper," a
full glass. Or, because a staggering drunk has a tendency to bump into
things. British, early 1600s.
Bun
Bung - Tipsy. Of Scottish origin. British, early1700s.
Bung-eyed - Cf. "Has bunged one's eye."
Bungay Fair - See "Been to Bungay Fair and broken both one's legs."
Bunged - Tipsy. A "bung" is a drunkard; this may come from the "bung"
to stop up a barrel, or be a shortening of "Bungay fair." South African,
since circa 1935.
Bungfu - Shortening of the following. US, circa 1900.
Bungfull/Bung-full - See "Bunged."
Bungy/Bungey/Bungie - Widespread, 1700s to 1800s.
Bunked - Somewhere between buzzed and drunk. College slang.
Bunned - A "bun" is a state of intoxication, a "buzz." US, since circa
1919.
Bunnied
Buoyant - High, happy. Or, because one's teeth are floating (cf. "Back
teeth afloat").
Buoyed
Burdocked/Burdock'd - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Buried/Burried - US, early 1900s.
Burned out - Tired and depressed after the effects of alcohol have worn
out. A "burn out" is (or was) teen slang for one who abuses alcohol or
drugs. May have originated as a drug term.
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Burned to the ground
Burning with a low blue flame - From the fact that alcohol gives off a
blue flame when burning. US, since the mid 1900s.
Burns with a low flame - As drunk as possible. From the imagery of a
fire about to go out.
Burnt
Burnt/Burned one's shoulder - To "burn one" means to draw a glass of
beer.
Burst - A "burst" is a drunken spree.
Busted in - Can mean "hung over" as well. College slang.
Busky/Buskey - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Busted - A "bust" is a drinking spree. A "busthead" is a drunkard, esp. a
drifter or hobo.
Butt - Extremely drunk. College slang in Massachusetts.
Butt ugly
Buttwasted
Buzz
Buzzed - Tipsy. US, since the mid 1900s.
Buzzed up - Mildly intoxicated. A "buzz on" is mild drunkenness. US,
since the mid 1900s.
Buzzy/Buzzey - Since the early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
C-D
Cached
Cacko
Cadbury - Drunk on
just a small amount of
alcohol. Taken from the
company's famous
"glass and a half"
advertising for the
amount of milk in their
chocolate bars.
Caged - A "cager" is a
drunkard. US, 1900s.
Cagrin'd
Called the wharf cat
Calling Earl/Ralph on
the big white phone -
Drunk and vomiting.
Came home by the
villages - Probably
implies that one stopped at a few taverns in the "villages" on the way.
Cancelled
Candy - Irish, 1800s. Rarely heard outside of Ireland.
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Canned - Tipsy. Possibly means turned to liquid, or from the use of "can"
to mean a drinking vessel. Also, "a can on" is drunkenness. Originally
US, spread to Great Britain and South Africa; 1900s.
Canned up - British army slang. Early 1900s, esp. the 1920s.
Canned (up) to the crow's nest - The "crow's nest" is the lookout atop the
mast of an old sailing ship. Hence, very drunk.
Canon - Possibly from French "un canon," a glass of wine consumed at a
wine shop; or from German "cannon," a drinking cup. Alternately, from
"cannoned," as in "shot." British, late 1800s.
Canonized - See above.
Cannon - Variant of "Canon." British, late 1800s.
Can't bite one's thumb
Can't drive a nail
Can't drive a Tonka truck - Derived form the fact that inebriation
impairs one's ability to drive.
Can't find one's ass with both/two hands
Can't find the floor
Can't hit the ground with one's hat
Can't lie on the ground without holding on
Can't say National Intelligencer - Euphemistic.
Can't see - Either from "blind," or a shortening of the following term.
Can't see a hole in a ladder - Heavily intoxicated. British & US, since the
1800s.
Can't see through a ladder
Can't sport a right light
Can't sport a right line - Unable to walk straight. Oxford University
slang, 1770 to 1800.
Can't take it - Implies that one gets drunk easily.
Can't walk a chalk - From the traditional test police officers use to
determine if a DUI suspect is indeed intoxicated. The "chalk" is the
straight line drawn for the suspect to follow.
Can't wipe one's ass with a bedsheet
Capable
Capernoited - From Scottish slang for "muddleheaded." Also, a "caper" is
a drinking spree, and "caper juice" is whisky. US, 1800s.
Capernotie
Capoonkle - Bahamian slang used esp. in Nassau.
Cap-sick - British, 1600s to 1800s. Cf. "Crop'sick."
Capped off
Capsized - Because a capsized ship is one that has tipped over.
Cargoed - Cf. "Loaded."
Carousing - Drinking deeply or freely. Believed to be from German for
"all out" or "completely out." In German, "garaustrinken" means "drink it
all," and thus "garaus" is the equivalent of "bottoms up" or "chug-a-lug."
Another theory is that it comes from Danish "rouse," a large glass for
making toasts, and "carouse" meant to refill the glass. First appeared in
- 19 -

the late 1500s.
Carrying a full cargo
Carrying a heavy load
Carrying a load - See "Loaded." Early 1900s.
Carrying a tight load
Carrying ballast - Holding one's liquor well. Someone who has consumed
a lot of liquor without getting too sloshed can "carry lots of ballast."
Carrying something heavy - Refers to difficulty in moving. US, early
1900s.
Carrying the dark dog on one's back - May refer to the "black dog,"
delirium tremens.
Carrying too much sail
Carrying two/three red lights - Based on the signal for a ship that is out
of control. British & US
nautical, WWII.
Cast - Very drunk. Anglo-
Irish, early 1900s.
Casting up one's accounts -
Drunk and vomiting.
Cat - Cf. "Whipcat." Early
1700s. Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
Catched/Catch'd
Catoonkle - Variation of
"Capoonkle."
Catsood - Corruption of
French "quatre sous" (four
sous). Means drunk on four
sous- worth of liquor (a sou
is an archaic French coin).
A "catsoos" is a drink of
booze. British military,
1900s.
Caught
Caught a fox - Very drunk.
1600s to 1800s.
Caught off one's
hobbyhorse
Caught one - To "catch one" is to get drunk on beer.
Caught the flavor - Since the late 1800s, now obsolete.
Caught the Irish flu
Caught up with one - As drunk as someone else who had a head start in
drinking.
Celebrating - Drinking intoxicants to excess. Perhaps because liquor is
often available on festive occasions, and consumed in great quantities to
celebrate happy special events.
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Certified drunk
Chagrined/Chagrin'd
Channels under - Nautical.
Chap-fallen
Charged
Charged up - High. May have come from drug slang.
Chasing the duck
Chasing the kettle
Chateaued - US high society slang. Usu. means drunk on wine. A pun on
"shattered" and "chateau" (French for "house," a word seen on many
wine labels).
Cheerful
Cheerfulish
Cheerio - From the drinking toast. South African, 1900s.
Cheerio-tipsy
Cheery/Cheary
Cheery-merry - Possibly a variant of "Cherry-merry."
Chemically enhanced - Apparently a parody on "politically correct" lingo.
Chemically imbalanced
Cherry-merry - Tipsy. From "Chirping merry." Since the 1700s.
Cherbimical - Early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Chice/Chise - See "Shice."
Chickery/Chickory - Early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Chinad
Chipper - Slightly drunk.
Chippit
Chippy - Unwell due to overindulgence in drink. Late 1800s.
Chirping merry - Exhilarated with liquor. A "chirper" is a tankard.
Chloroformed - Cf. "Anesthetized."
Choc full - "Choc" is liquor. Pun on "chock full."
Chock-a-block - Possibly from "chock," alcohol; or from nautical slang
for "crammed full."
Chocked
Choked
Chokka
Chokker - Full to the brim.
Chucked - Slightly intoxicated. Possibly from the spinning feeling - cf.
"Dizzy," "Has the Aunty Ems." British, late 1800s.
Chugged - To "chugalug" is to drink, esp. to guzzle. "Chugalug" is
sometimes said in response to a toast.
Chuko
Cider drunk - Fuddled by hard cider.
Clairmonted - Atlanta slang. Apparently after Clairmont Road, a major
thoroughfare in Atlanta.
Clear - Very drunk. Since the late 1600s.
Clear out
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Clinched
Clips the King's English - Unable to speak clearly due to intoxication.
1700s to 1800s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Clobbered - Because the general malaise makes one feel as if one has
been beaten up. US, 1900s, esp. the 1950s.
Coagulated
Coarse
Coasting - Euphoric, exhilarated. To "coast" is to experience the effects
of a drug, including alcohol. Also, can mean drinking steadily in order to
avoid the effects of withdrawal.
Cock-a-hoop - Derived from the archaic phrase "to set cock on hoop,"
meaning to Eat, Drink and Be Merry. It is believed that the "cock" is the
spigot on a barrel of ale, and to "set cock on hoop" means to remove the
spigot so the ale can flow freely and be consumed with abandon - until
everybody is "cock-a-hoop."
Cock-a-whoop - In high spirits, elevated. Cf. the above.
Cockadoodled - Used in the History Channel's presentation Founding
Fathers.
Cocked - Possibly came from the term for a pistol ready to fire.
Widespread since the 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Cocked as a log
Cocked to the gills
Cockeyed/Cock-eyed - Originally designated one who had a squint or
was cross-eyed, and may derive from the action of a cock tilting his
head and rolling his eyes while strutting about. Since the early 1700s.
Cockeyed drunk
Cocking the elbow - See "Bent one's elbow."
Cocking the little/wee finger - Suggests that one is a dipsomaniac but
not quite a flat-out drunkard.
Cogey/Cogy - From "cogue," a dram of spirits. Early 1700s. Noted by
Benjamin Franklin.
Cognacked/Cognaced - Drunk on cognac. US, early 1900s.
Coguy/Coguey - From Scots word for "cup." Nautical slang has the term
"cogueing the nose," meaning having a good strong drink. Early 1800s.
Cold - Unconscious, "out cold."
Colored - Possibly a reference to the red color of a drunk's face.
Colored one's/the meerschaum - Red-faced due to drinking. Mid 1800s.
Comatose
Comboozelated - Formed around the word "booze." US, mid 1900s.
Comboozled
Comfortable - Pleasantly intoxicated. "Comfort" or "a cup of comfort" is
liquor. US, 1900s.
Comin/Commin-
Commin' on
Coming from Liquorpond Street - Early 1800s to early 1900s.
Commencin'
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Commencin' to feel it
Commode hugging
Commode-hugging drunk - Very drunk indeed; drunk and throwing up.
Completely gone
Completely out of it
Completely squashed
Concerned - British & US, since the late 1800s.
Concerned in/with drink - Since the late 1600s.
Concerned in/with liquor
Conflummoxed - An intensive of "flummox." US, 1900s.
Confoundedly cut
Confused
Conked out - Having fallen into a deep sleep quickly.
Consumed a rancid oyster
Contending with (the) Pharaoh - "Pharaoh" is strong malt liquor. Noted
by Benjamin Franklin.
Coo-coo
Cooked
Coopered - Tipsy. A "cooper" is a barrel of beer. Late 1800s to early
1900s.
Copasetic
Copey
Copped a buzz - Cf. "Buzzed." US, 1900s.
Copped a crane
Copped a reeler - To "cop a reeler" means to get drunk. British, 1920s to
1940s.
Copped an elephant - See "Elephant's trunk."
Copped the brewer
Copped the brewery - To "cop the brewery" is to get drunk. British, since
the mid 1800s.
Copped the elephant - Tipsy. Early 1900s.
Copper-nosed - From the color of the nose. A "copper-nose" is a
drunkard.
Cork high and bottle deep
Corked - Very inebriated. US, since the late 1800s.
Corked up - US, since the late 1800s.
Corkscrewed - "Corkscrewing" refers to the
staggering gait of a drunk.
Corkscrewed up
Corkscrewing - Reeling drunk.
Corky - British, circa 1800.
Cornblasted
Cornblinded
Corned - As in corned beef (cf. "Soused"), or corn
whisky. Also, to "corn" means to be drunk. US, since
the late 1700s.
- 23 -

Cornered - Perhaps because one is in a drunken predicament, or from
the corn in corn whisky.
Cornhauled
Corning - See "Corned."
Corny - From "corn," corn whisky.
Corny-faced - Red-faced from drinking. Late 1600s to early 1800s.
Couldn't find one's ass with two hands
Count Drunkula
Country drunk
Coxy-foxy
Coxy-loxy
Cracked - Possibly from this word's sense of "crazy." To "crack a bottle"
is to drink booze. Since the early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Crackling
Cramped - Since the early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Cranberry-eyed - From the reddening of the eyes. "Cranberry eye" is a
symptom of drunkenness.
Crank - A ship is said to be "crank" if it is liable to be overset. Cf.
"Cronk." Nautical, 1700s.
Cranked
Cranky
Crapped out
Crapsick - See "Cropsick."
Crapulent - Immoderate in drinking.
Crapulous - Immoderate in drinking.
Crashed - To "crash" in drug slang means to lose consciousness. US,
since the mid 1900s.
Crashed and burned
Crazed
Crazy
Crazy drunk - "Crazy water" is liquor.
Creamed - From "cream" as in to thoroughly beat an opposing team in
sport. US, since the mid 1900s.
Crispy - Valley Girl slang. Because one seems "burnt out." Can mean
"hung over" as well.
Croaked - As in "dead drunk."
Crocked - A "crock" is a drunkard, from this word's sense of "bottle." US,
1900s.
Crocko
Crocus
Cronk - From German "krank," sick. US, since the mid 1800s.
Crooked - A "crook" is a drinking binge.
Crooking the/one's elbow
Crooking the/one's little finger
Cropsick - Sick in the stomach from too much liquor. British, early
1600s.
- 24 -

Cross-eyed - US, 1900s. Cf. "Cockeyed."
Crosseyed drunk
Cruising - High. Probably originated in drug slang.
Crump - Possibly a shortening of "crump-footed."
Crump-footed - From an old term meaning "club footed." Refers to the
staggering gait of a souse. Early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin
Crumped
Crumped out
Crunk - Southeastern college slang. "Crazy" plus "Drunk"
Crushed - College slang.
Crying drunk - Not a stage of drunkenness, but the way some drinkers
behave. A "crying jag" is a fit of uncontrollable weeping brought on by
drunkenness. Since the 1800s.
Crying jag
Cuckoo
Cuckooed
Cued up
Cunted - Scottish
Cupshaken
Cup'shot - A "cup of the creature" is a cup of good liquor, esp. Irish
whisky. "Creature" may come from Latin "crater" for cup. Since the
1600s.
Cup too much
Cupped
Cupshotten - Early form of "cup'shot." Early 1300s to 1500s.
Curious
Curved
Cushed
Cut - Cf. "Cut in the leg." Since the late 1600s.
Cut in the back
Cut in the craw
Cut in the leg - As if one cannot move due to an injury. British, late
1600s.
Cut over the head - Elaboration of "Cut."
Cuts one's capers - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Cuts one's leg - To "cut one's leg" means to get drunk. Jocular reference
to staggering (cf. "Cut in the leg"). Since the 1600s.
Cutting one's wolf loose - Drinking and getting sloshed. Old West term.

D. - "D" is for "drunk."
D and D - Drunk and Disorderly. Police use, since the late 1600s.
Daffy - From British slang for "nuts" as in "crazy," ultimately from 1500s
British dialect "daff," a fool or simpleton. Also, to "daffy" or "daffy it" is
to drink gin.
Dagged - Literally, "dewy." To "dag" means to sprinkle in an old dialect.
- 25 -

Since the 1600s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Damaged - Temporarily incapacitated. Mainly US, since the mid 1800s.
Damp - A "damp" is a drink. "Damper" means ale or stout following
spirits and water. To "damp one's mug" means to drink.
Daquifried - A combination of "daquiri" and "fried."
Dazed
Dead
Dead drunk - Heavily intoxicated. Since the late 1500s.
Dead in the water - Not moving at all, immobile. Nautical, from term for
a ship that can no longer move.
Dead to the wide - Deeply inebriated. "To the wide" means utterly.
Dead to the world - Sleeping very soundly, stuporous from drunkenness.
US, since the late 1800s.
Deado/Dead-oh! - In the last stage of intoxication, dead drunk. Nautical.
Deads - Dead drunk, fast asleep. British naval slang, since circa 1920.
Debauched
Decanted
Decayed - US, mid 1900s.
Deceived in liquor
Deck(s) awash - From nautical term for when waves slop over the deck.
Cf. "Half seas over." US, early 1900s.
Dee-dee - Variation of
"D and D."
Deep cut - Heavily
intoxicated. Cf. "Cut in
the leg."
Deep drunk
Defaced
Deformed
Delerit
Delerious
Demented
Demoralized
Derailed - Suggests
that one has lost one's
way - "gone off track" -
like a train that has
jumped the
Destroyed
Detained on business -
Suggests a
businessman out drinking when he claims that he's working late. Cf.
"
tracks.
at the office Staying late ."
Dew drunk - Possibly from "mountain dew," moonshine.
Dewed
Did the job up right
- 26 -

Diddled - Possibly from "diddle," gin.
Diluted the blood in one's alcohol system
Ding'swizzled
Dinged
Dinged-out
Dingy
Dinky
Dionysian - Crazed, irrational and/or ecstatic due to inebriation. Cf.
"Drunk as Dionysus."
Dipped - A "dip" or "dipso" (short for "dipsomaniac") is a drunkard.
Dipped in the wassail bowl
Dipped one's beak/bill - Almost drunk. To "dip one's bill" means to
imbibe, esp. to excess. From the action of a bird dipping its bill to drink.
Dipped rather deep
Dipped the schnozzle too deep
Dipped too deep
Dipsy - Possibly derived from "dipsomania." Cf. "Dipped."
Dirtfaced - Possibly a euphemism for "Shit faced." Anglo-Irish, 1900s.
Discombobulated - Can mean "upset" or "weird" as well as "drunk."
Discomboobulated
Discouraged - Odd, since alcohol usu. makes one bold. US, 1900s.
Discumfuddled - See "Fuddled." US, 1900s.
Disguised - In Shakespeare's plays, "disguise" means drunkenness. Since
the 1500s.
Disguised in liquor
Disguised with drink
Disgusting
Dished
Dismantled
Disorderly - See "D and D."
Dissipated
Dissolute
Distinguished
Dithered - Tipsy. From "dither," to shake or quiver. Australian, since
circa 1925.
Dizzified
Dizzy - Fairly drunk. Since circa 1791.
Dizzy as a coot - US, since the 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Dizzy as a dame
Dizzy as a goose - US, since the 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Does not show it - Holds one's liquor well, shows no symptoms of
intoxication. Yet.
Dog drunk
Doing the emperor - Cf. "Drunk as an emperor."
Doing the lord - See "Drunk as a lord."
Done a Daniel Boone - To "do a Daniel Boone" means to get drunk.
- 27 -

Done a Falstaff - After the Shakespearean character, who is fond of
drink.
Done a vanishing act
Done an Archie
Done an edge
Done got out
Done in - Can mean "very tired," "killed" or "ruined" as well as "drunk."
Done over - Since the 1800s.
Done the drunk act
Done to the wide - See "Dead to the wide."
Done up - Variation of "Done in." Also, to "do up" is drug slang for to
take narcotics.
Doomed
Doped - Properly, "dope" is a thick liquid, from Dutch "doop." The sense
of dope meaning "drugs" comes from the fact that opium is a thick liquid
at one stage of preparation. "Dope" for a stupid person comes from the
behavior of those high on opium.
Doped over
Doped up
Dopy/Dopey - Originally a drug term meaning stuporous from narcotics.
Can mean "confused" or "stupid" as well. Since the late 1800s.
Dornke - Very old (1300s to 1500s) form of "Drunk."
Dornke is as a mous - Drunk as a mouse.
Dotted
Dotty - Dizzy, feeble or idiotic due to intoxication. This word can mean
"mad," "unsteady" or "feebleminded" as well, and may come from
"dotard."
Double-headed
Double'tongued
Doubled up
Down
Down among the dead men - One the
floor amidst the empty bottles. An empty
bottle of liquor is called a "dead man,"
"dead marine" or "dead soldier" because
the "spirit" has gone out of it. Cf. "In the
down-pins."
Down and out
Down for the count - Unconscious, like a
boxer who has been knocked out.
Down in drink
Down the hatch - From the toast
response "down the hatch." A hatch is an
opening into the hold of a ship.
Down the creek
Down the tubes - See "Tubed."
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Down with barrel fever - "Barrel fever" is drunkenness or delirium
tremens. Cf. "Barrelhouse drunk."
Down with the blue devils.
Down with the fish - Dead drunk, blotto.
Dragged - Northeastern college slang. A "dragger" is somebody who gets
drunk frequently and has to be dragged back to one's room.
Dragging one's bottom
Dragging the load
Dramling - Probably from "dram," a glass of spirits.
Drank more than one bled
Drank oneself dead
Drank the three outs - Having imbibed copiously - drank until one was
OUT of one's head, one's money was OUT of one's pocket, and the ale
was OUT of the pot. Alternately, means that one has drunk by the dozen,
the yard (as in a yard of ale), and the bushel. 1600s.
Drank till one gave up one's halfpenny - Drunk to the point of vomiting.
Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Drank till one's teeth caught cold - To "drink until one's teeth catch cold"
means to drink too much booze.
Draped - Somewhat inebriated, tipsy. Possibly means draped in black for
mourning. Also, an "ale-draper" is an alehouse keeper. Or, may be a
shortening of the following term. British military since circa 1939.
Draped about a lamp post - Probably from the traditional image of a
souse leaning against a lamp post.
Drawn a blank - Very drunk. From the loss of awareness. This term's
original meaning is to make an unsuccessful entry in a lottery.
Drenched
Drenching the gizzard
Drink
Drink taken - Tipsy
Drinkative
Drinking
Drinking like a beast
Drinking like a camel - Cf. "Playing camel."
Drinking like a fire engine
Drinking like a fish - Drinking excessively. Because many fish swim with
their mouths open and thus appear to be drinking constantly. Used to
describe someone who has an extraordinary capacity to consume liquor.
Since at least 1640.
Drinking like a lord - See "Drunk as a lord."
Drinking out of a nigger's clog - Imbibing intemperately. Liverpool slang
since circa 1945.
Drinks gone on one
Drinks gone woozy on one
Drinky - British, since the 1800s.
Dripping tight - Completely drunk. British, early 1900s.
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Driving home 'cause one can't fucking walk
Driving the brewer's horse - A "brewer's horse" is a sot.
Driving the porcelain/big white bus - Throwing up due to inebriation.
Driving turkeys to market - Reeling and staggering due to drunkenness.
Dronk - Afrikaans.
Dronke - 1400s variation of "Drunk."
Dronken han wyn ape - See "Drunk as an ape."
Dronklew
Drop on - Cf. "Has a drop in the eye," "A drop on."
Drowned
Drowned the shamrock - Perhaps because the Irish have a reputation for
being heavy drinkers.
Drowning brain cells
Drowning frustration in rum
Drowning one's reason in the bottle
Drowning one's sorrow(s)
Drowning one's sorrows in the wreathed cup
Drowning one's sorrows in the flowing bowl
Drowning one's troubles - Seeking solace in booze, and getting more than
tipsy.
Drowning one's wits
Drowning oneself in the bottle
Drowning the shamrock - Drinking esp. on St. Patrick's Day. Cf.
"Drowned the shamrock."
Drucking funk
Druffen
Drugged with wine
Drumbled - Can mean "sluggish," "muddy" or "thick" as well as "drunk."
Souses are bound to be sluggish and "muddy" in the head.
Druneena - Very old form of "drunk" dating back to circa 1050.
Drunk - Certainly the most widely-used term for "intoxicated." The oldest
form of this word recorded is "Dryne," which appeared around 800 (in
early Middle English, "u" was the equivalent of "y" in Old English). Took
its present form by the late 1500s.
Drunk and disorderly - Intoxicated and uncooperative. Cf. "D and D."
Drunk and down
Drunk and incapable - See "Incapable."
Drunk and Irish - Fighting drunk. Because the Irish have a reputation
for being belligerent when inebriated. Military, 1860 to 1920.
Drunk as a badger
Drunk as a barrel full of monkeys - Appears in Elton John's song
"Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting."
Drunk as a Bassiard - In an intoxicated frenzy. The Bassiards were
devotees of Dionysus who honored their deity with wine orgies and
danced about in their drunken excitement.
Drunk as a bastard
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Drunk as a bat
Drunk as a beast - 1800s.
Drunk as a beggar - 1600s.
Drunk as a besom - Very drunk. A besom is a broom used in the sport of
curling, moving a stone or other object across ice. From the motion of a
besom, or from the fact that it can't stand up by itself.
Drunk as a big owl
Drunk as a billy goat
Drunk as a boiled/biled owl - A "boiled owl" or "biled owl" is a drunkard.
Possibly from "Tough as a boiled owl." British & US, since the late 1800s.
Drunk as a brewer's fart - Drunk and reeling. British, 1800s.
Drunk as a broken cart wheel
Drunk as a broom - Cf. "Drunk as a besom." British, 1800s.
Drunk as a cock
Drunk as a coon
Drunk as a coot - Very drunk. Patterned on "crazy as a coot." US, early
1900s.
Drunk as a cooter
Drunk as a cootie
Drunk as a cunt - Very drunk. Patterned on "black as a cunt."
Underworld slang, since the late 1800s.
Drunk as a devil
Drunk as a dog
Drunk as a drowned mouse - Very intoxicated. Cf. the following.
Drunk as a drowned rat - Worse than drunk as a drowned mouse. Cf.
"Drunk as a rat."
Drunk as a drum - Variation of "Drunk as [the drum on] a wheelbarrow."
Also, cf. "Tight as a drum."
Drunk as a Dutchman - Dates from the days when England and the
Netherlands were great rivals. Cf. "Full of Dutch courage."
Drunk as a fart
Drunk as a fiddle
Drunk as a fiddler - Because fiddlers of old were often paid with ale
instead of money. Since the early 1600s.
Drunk as a fiddler's bitch - In this case,
"fiddler" may mean "trifler" instead of a
musician. Still head in the armed forces.
Drunk as a fiddler's clerk - Cowboy slang.
Drunk as a fiddler's whore
Drunk as a fish - Cf. "Drinking like a fish."
Since the early 1700s.
Drunk as a fly - British, 1800s.
Drunk as a fool
Drunk as a fowl - Variation of "Drunk as an
owl." Australian, since circa 1925.
Drunk as a Gosport fiddler
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Drunk as a handcart
Drunk as a hillbilly in a rooster fight - Cowboy slang.
Drunk as a hog - 1600s.
Drunk as a hoot owl
Drunk as a kettlefish
Drunk as a king
Drunk as a kite - Possibly patterned on "high as a kite."
Drunk as a lion - Cf. "Lion drunk." 1600s.
Drunk as a little red wagon
Drunk as a log
Drunk as a loon - 1800s.
Drunk as a lord - Especially in the 1700s and 1800s, men prided
themselves in the amount of liquor they could consume at one sitting;
overindulgence was considered a sign of gentility (perhaps because one
could afford so much drink). Cf. "Under the table." Since the 1600s.
Drunk as a Mexican opal
Drunk as a monkey - Army slang.
Drunk as a mouse - Appears in Chaucer's "The Knight's Tale" as "dornke
is as a mous." From "Drunk as a drowned mouse." 1300s to 1500s.
Drunk as a newt - Saturated as the amphibious newt. Less common than
"Tight as a newt." British military, 1900s.
Drunk as a nurse at christening
Drunk as a parrot - A friend of mine has an African gray parrot. One
year she had a New Year's party at her house, and her parrot dipped his
beak in everybody's champagne and got quite blitzed. Ever since then,
when one of her friends overindulges, she says "You're drunk as a
parrot!"
Drunk as a Perraner
Drunk as a pig - Cf. "Drunk as David's sow."
Drunk as a piper - Very drunk. Cf. "Drunk as a fiddler." British, late
1700s.
Drunk as a piper-fou
Drunk as a pissant/piss-ant - Nicety for "Drunk as piss." Australian,
early 1900s.
Drunk as a Plymouth fiddler
Drunk as a poet
Drunk as a Polony - "Polony" is a corruption of "Pole." The Polish were
once thought to be heavy drinkers. British.
Drunk as a Pope - Refers to Pope Benedict XII, who imbibed copiously.
1300s.
Drunk as a porter - 1600s.
Drunk as a rat - Hopelessly drunk. A "rat" is a drunken person who has
been picked up by the authorities. Since the 1500s.
Drunk as a rolling fart - Heavily intoxicated. British, since circa 1860.
Drunk as a sailor
Drunk as a skunk - Very drunk. Rhyming plus the concept of "Stinking
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drunk." US, 1900s.
Drunk as a skunk in a trunk - Nonsense rhyme.
Drunk as a soot
Drunk as a sow - Immobile as a sow. Based on "Drunk as David's sow."
British, 1800s.
Drunk as a swine - 1400s.
Drunk as a tapster - The tapster is the person who pulls that taps that
allow spirits to flow.
Drunk as a tick - From "Full as a tick." US, 1900s.
Drunk as a tinker - To "swill like a tinker" means to imbibe excessively
and without stopping.
Drunk as a top - Wobbling like a top that is running down.
Drunk as a wheelbarrow - Since the 1600s.
Drunk as a whistle
Drunk as Abel Boyle
Drunk as all-get-out
Drunk as an aardvark
Drunk as an ape - Appears in Chaucer's "The Manciple's Tale." Early
1300s.
Drunk as an ass
Drunk as an autumn wasp
Drunk as an earl
Drunk as an emperor - Ten times as drunk as a lord. Also, an "emperor"
is a drunken man. (Would an "empress" then be a drunken woman?)
Drunk as an owl - Very drunk. Cf. "Drunk as a boiled owl." Widespread
since the 1800s.
Drunk as Bacchus - Extremely drunk. Bacchus is the Roman god of wine
and viniculture. British, 1800s.
Drunk as Ballylana/Ballylannan - Anglo-Irish colloquialism. Possibly
from "Drunk as blaizers."
Drunk as blaizers - From the Feast of St. Blaize. Celebrants were called
"blaizers," and clearly this feast was a time of crapulence.
Drunk as blazes - Extremely drunk. Either a variant of the above term,
or from the intensive "as blazes."
Drunk as buggery - Extremely intoxicated. British, 1800s.
Drunk as Chloe/Cloe - From the cobbler's wife of Linden Grove, who was
notorious for her drinking habits. Her claim to fame is via the poet Prior,
who was attached to her. Widespread 1845 to 1890.
Drunk as (a) Cooter Brown
Drunk as dancing pigs
Drunk as David's/Davy's sow - David Lloyd, an alehouse keeper in Wales,
had a sow that had six legs, which was the object of much curiosity. One
day Mrs. Lloyd, who was given to drink, lay down in the sty in order to
sleep herself sober. Meanwhile, David ushered in some visitors to see his
remarkable animal - and didn't look into the stall to make sure that the
critter was there. One visitor, when asked if he had ever seen the like,
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replied that it was the drunkennest sow he ever beheld. From then on,
Mrs. Lloyd was known as "David's sow." British, 1600s to 1800s.
Drunk as Dionysus - Dionysus is the Greek equivalent of Bacchus. He is
also the god of fertility and the powers of nature. From his name we get
"Dionysian" for "frenzied."
Drunk as Elpenor - Elpenor was a friend of Ulysses who got sloshed
while at Circe's dwelling and fell asleep on the roof. In his slumber he
rolled off the roof and broke his neck. Hence, said person is due for a
fall.
Drunk as Eurytion - Uncontrollably drunk. Eurytion is the centaur who
tried to carry off Hippodamia. See "Drunken as a guest at Hippodamia's
wedding."
Drunk as Floey - From "Drunk as Chloe."
Drunk as forty billygoats
Drunk as hell
Drunk as hoot
Drunk as mice
Drunk as muck - Late 1800s.
Drunk as one can hang/stick together
Drunk as owls
Drunk as piss
Drunk as polony - From "Drunk as a polony."
Drunk as puffed-up pigeons
Drunk as rolling farts
Drunk as soft mick - Very drunk. "Soft mick" is British army intensive.
Drunk as soot - Late 1800s.
Drunk as the Baltic - Noted by G. L. Apperson, a collector of phrases and
proverbs. 1800s.
Drunk as the devil - Since the 1300s.
Drunk as the drum of a wheelbarrow - Very inebriated.
Drunk as Zeus
Drunk back - Patterned on "Laid back."
Drunk for sure
Drunk in one's dumpes
Drunk like wedding guests
Drunk more than one has bled - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Drunk oneself dead
Drunk to the pulp - Drunk to the point of passing out.
Drunk to the utmost - Since the late 1800s.
Drunk up
Drunk with a continuando - Drunk for days on end.
Drunken
Drunken as a guest at Hippodamia's wedding - In Greek mythology, at
the wedding feast of Hippodamia and Pirithous, king of the Lapiths, the
centaurs got intoxicated and attempted to abduct the bride. The result
was the legendary battle between the centaurs and Lapiths.
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Drunker than a boiled owl
Drunker than a cannon
Drunker than a hoot owl
Drunker than a monkey
Drunker than a skunk
Drunker than five thousand Indians
Drunker than hell
Drunker than Scootum Brown
Drunker than 300 dollars
Drunker than whisky
Drunkity drunk
Drunkulent
Drunkok
Drunks - Abbreviation of "Drunk and
disorderly."
Drunky/Drunkey - Often used with one's
name, as in "Drunky Sue." British, mid
1800s.
Drunky drunk
Drunok - Tipsy. Corruption of "Drunk." British, since the 1930s.
Druuncen - Predecessor of "Drunk," dating back to around 950.
Dry - An odd synonym for "intoxicated," since "dry" usually means
without liquor, as in a dry county, or abstaining from liquor.
D.T.'s - Abbreviation for "delirium tremens." Since the early 1800s. Other
terms for this condition include: barrel fever, bats, black dog, blue devils,
blue horrors, bottleache, gallon distemper, heebie jeebies, horries,
horrors, jerks, jim-jams, jimmies, jitters, jumps, ork-orks, rams, rats, rum
fit, screaming Abdams, screaming meanies, seeing snakes, seeing pink
elephants, shakes, shim'shams, snake in the boots, snakes, triangles,
uglies, whammy, whoops and jingles, willies, and zings.
DUI - Driving Under the Influence.
Dull-eyed
Dull in the eye - Tipsy. British, since the 1600s.
Dumped
DWIed - Driving While Intoxicated.
Dyeing scarlet - Drinking deep or hard. Appears in Shakespeare's works.
Late 1500s to early 1600s.
E-H
Ears (are) ringing
Easy
Easy over - Tipsy, slightly
"fried."
Eaten a loaf and a half
for breakfast - Noted by
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Benjamin Franklin.
Eaten a pudding bag - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Eaten opium - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Eaten the cocoa nut - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Eating one's oats
Ebriate
Ebrios
Ebriose
Ebrious - Mildly drunk. From Latin "ebrius." Since the late 1500s.
Ebullient
Edge
Edged - Slightly intoxicated. Probably from the Suffolk phrase "on the
edge of drunkenness."
Eighty-six - "86" is bar lingo to serve someone no more liquor. Cf.
"Flagged."
Egg - Australian.
Eighty-sixed/86ed
El Reeko - Scottish. Derived from "reeking."
Elated
Electrified - Stunned by drink, moderately drunk. British, 1800s.
Elephant trunk - Variation of "Elephant?s trunk." Early 1900s.
Elephant's/Elephants - Shortening of "Elephant?s trunk." Also, suggests
the pink elephants that are the "classic" hallucination of drunks. Since
circa 1874.
Elephant's trunk - Rhyming slang. British and some US use, since the
1800s.
Elevated - Mildly intoxicated, "high." British & US, since the 1600s.
Eliminated - US, since the mid 1900s.
Embalmed - Very drunk. "Embalming fluid" is liquor, esp. potent whisky.
However, this term more likely comes from the seemingly lifeless state of
the subject.
Emotional - Because drunkenness makes some people excitable or
depressed. Cf. "Tired and emotional."
End of the line
Enjoying a drink
Enjoying a drop
Enjoying a glass
Enjoying a jar
Enjoying a jug
Enjoying a nip
Enjoying the bottle
Entered/Enter'd
Euphoric
Exalted - Tipsy. Late 1600s to mid 1700s.
Excited
Exhilarated
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Extinguished
Extracted


Face-down-in-the-gutter
Faced - Short for "Shitfaced." US, since the mid 1900s.
Faded - Totally drunk. College slang.
Faint - Euphemistic. US, mid 1800s.
Fairly ripped
Fallen among thieves - Of Biblical origin. To "fall among thieves" is to
admit that one is drunk. Usu. humorous use.
Fallen off the wagon - See "Fell off the wagon."
Fallen victim to barley fever - Cf. "Down with barrel fever."
Falling down
Falling down drunk - Drunk and stumbling.
Falstaffed - See "Done a Falstaff."
Fap - Appears in Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor.
Far ahead/Farahead - Far ahead in drinking. Refers to a souse or one
who is intoxicated in a particular instance. US, early 1900s.
Far gone
Far gone in one's cups
Far out
Farshnoshket - Yiddish Fatigued - "Fatigue" is a euphemism for
inebriation. Cf. "Tired."
Fearless
Fearing no man
Fears no man - Cf. "Full of Dutch courage." Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Featured - Of theatrical origin. Refers to a drinker who "performs" while
intoxicated - singing, dancing, etc. US, early 1900s.
Fed one's kitty
Feeling
Feeling aces
Feeling as if the cat had kittened in one's mouth - Having a distasteful
sensation in one's mouth, suffering from "cottonmouth." Cf. "Fur on one's
tongue." 1600s.
Feeling cheap - Suffering from a night's debauchery.
Feeing dizzy
Feeling drunk
Feeling excellent
Feeling frisky
Feeling funny - Overcome with drink, or beginning to get intoxicated.
Feeling glorious
Feeling good - Since the mid 1800s.
Feeling groovy
Feeling happy
Feeling high
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Feeling Irish
Feeling it
Feeling it a little
Feeling juiced up
Feeling no pain - Deeply intoxicated, or mildly drunk. Because alcohol is
somewhat anesthetic. Since the 1940s, used esp. in Canada.
Feeling one's alcohol
Feeling one's booze
Feeling one's cheerios
Feeling one's drink
Feeling one's liquor
Feeling one's oats - This term means feeling strong, energetic and
aggressive like a well-fed horse; high-spirited, brash, as one may feel
after a few glasses of potent potables.
Feeling one's onions
Feeling pretty good
Feeling real/really well
Feeling right
Feeling right royal
Feeling the effect
Feeling the thick - Dead drunk. "Thick" is black beer.
Fell off the wagon - Means drinking liquor after a period of abstaining
from alcohol. Because somebody who has given up booze (at least for the
time being) is said to be "on the wagon." Cf. "Has broken the teapot."
Fermented
Feshnushkied
Fetched the brewer - To "fetch the brewer" is to get tipsy. Since circa
1880.
Fettered - Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
Fettled
Feverish
Fiddled - A "fiddle-cup" is a
drunkard. Also, to "fiddle"
liquor means to drug it.
Fighting a bottle - Drinking
liquor, esp. to excess.
Fighting drunk - Drunk and
belligerent. Since the late
1800s.
Fighting tight - Drunk and
quarrelsome. British, 1800s.
Filled
Filled (up) to the bung
Filled to the gills
Filled up
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Fired
Fired up - Probably from the phrase's sense of to start an engine. Since
the mid 1800s.
Fish-eyed
Fishy/Fishey
Fishy about the gills - Hung over. Because drink pulls down the corners
of one's mouth and makes the lower cheeks look squarish, suggesting the
gills of a fish. "Gills" refers to the skin behind the jaws and ears, where
one would have gills if one were a fish (or the Creature from the Black
Lagoon).
Fishy-eyed
Fitshaced - Partial disguise of "Shitfaced." College slang.
Five or seven - From the police phrase "five shillings or seven days," the
original penalty for drunkenness. Police and cockney use, late 1800s to
early 1900s.
Fixed - "Fixing" is strong drink.
Fixed up
Fizzed
Fizzed up
Fizzled
Flabbergasted
Flagged - Forbidden further drinks because one is drunk. Cf. "Eighty-
six."
Flailin' - Really intoxicated. Usu. refers to marijuana, but is applicable to
alcohol.
Flaked - From either "Flaked-out" or "Harry Flakers."
Flaked-out - Unconscious, hung over, or tired from drunkenness.
Military, since circa 1939.
Flakers - Mildly drunk. Shortening of "Harry Flakers." Australian, mid
1900s.
Flako
Flaky
Flambd - Elaboration of "fried" plus hints at the warm feeling that
often comes with intoxication.
Flannel-mouthed
Flared - Tipsy. A "flare" or "flare-up" is a drunken spree.
Flared up
Flaring drunk - Very inebriated.
Flat-ass drunk - Totally drunk. May be patterned on "flat-out"; also, it
suggests being so drunk that one is flat on one?s ass.
Flatch kennurd - Back slang for "Half drunk."
Flat-out drunk
Flattened - Stuporously drunk.
Flawed/flawd - Half drunk, a "little crooked." A pun on "Floored"; cf.
"Damaged." British, since before 1650.
Flickered
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Flipped - Possibly a euphemism for "Fucked," or a shortening of "Flipped
out."
Flipped out - Probably from drug culture slang.
Floated up
Floating - High, ecstatic. Cf. "Buoyant." A "floating drunk" is an
enjoyable weekend toot. This term appears in Richard McKenna's The
Sand Pebbles.
Floating high
Flooded
Flooding one's sewers
Flooey/Fluey - Perhaps a variant of "go blooey," to collapse, come to
sudden ruin; or a variation of "Drunk as Floey." US, early 1900s.
Floored - Drunk and lying on the floor, vanquished by drink. Also, in
drunkard's slang, to "floor" a drink or a quantity of drink means to
finish it completely. Since the 1800s.
Floothered
Floppy - Very drunk.
Florid - Mildly drunk, red-faced. British, 1770s to 1830s.
Florious
Flostered - "Floster" is a mixed drink of sherry, lemon, noyau, sugar, ice
and soda water.
Flown
Flown with the wild turkey
Fluffed
Fluffy - Unsteady, stupid. A "fluffer" is a drunkard, and "fluffiness" is
drunkenness. British, late 1800s.
Flummixed/Flummoxed/Flummuxed - Confused by drunkenness. US,
since the late 1800s. By the 1920s, this term was more apt to mean
"confused."
Flush - Short for "Flush with the brim," or related to "Flushed." British,
1800s.
Flush with the brim - Completely full of liquor.
Flushed - Reddened with drink. British & later US, since the early 1700s.
Flusterated - British & US, since the 1800s.
Flusterated up
Flustered/Fluster'd - Mildly intoxicated. From "fluster," to excite with
drink. Since the 1600s.
Flusticated
Flustrated - "Flustered" plus "frustrated." British & US, since the 1800s.
Fluted
Flutered
Flyblown - British, 1800s.
Fly-by-night - Rhyming slang for "tight," plus suggests the unreliability
of drunkards.
Flying - High, feeling the effects of liquor.
Flying blind - US Air Force slang, from the aeronautical term.
- 40 -

Flying Chinese - Possibly from WWI aviation slang "Chinese ace," for a
pilot who lands a plane with one wing low, Wun Wing Lo being an
invented Chinese name. US Air Force slang.
Flying high
Flying light
Flying on one wing
Flying one wing low - See "Flying Chinese." US Air Force slang.
Flying rather high
Flying the Ensign - An "ensign bearer" is someone who is drunk, someone
who "hoists his colors in his drink" - i.e., has a red face. Cf. "Has one's
flag out." US, early 1900s.
Flying the wet beam - US Air Force slang. Cf. "Off the beam."
Fog-bound - Tipsy. Early 1900s.
Fogged - British & US, since the early 1800s.
Fogged in
Foggy - British & US, since the early 1800s.
Fogmatic - US, mid 1800s.
Folded - "Bent." US, early 1900s.
Folded up
Fond of dope - Addicted to liquor.
Fool if you don't quit
Foolish
Footless
Foozlified - Tipsy. British nautical, late 1800s to mid 1900s.
Forced down at a hangar - US Air Force slang.
Fortified
45 degrees listed - "List" is the term for the degree to which a ship is
tipped to port or starboard from the vertical. A 45 degree list is steep
indeed. Suggests the leaning of a drunk.
Forward - From either the truculence of a drunkard, or from a drinker
making progress towards intoxication.
Fossilized
Fou/Fow - Scottish for "full," in this case full of drink. Since the 1500s.
Fou as a coo
Fou as a piper
Fou as a wulk
Fou as Betty
Fou-drunk - Scots dialect 1500s to 1600s.
Four sheets - Short for the following.
Four sheets in/to the wind - Dead drunk, unconscious. See "Three sheets
in the wind." Since the 1800s.
Fouthenoo - Used loosely but generally jocularly. Early 1900s.
Fox drunk - Crafty, red-faced, or stinking. 1500s to 1600s.
Foxed/Foxt - From the red color of one's face, or stinking drunk. Also, to
"fox" means to intoxicate. British and later US, since the early 1600s.
Foxy - US, 1800s. Cf. "Fox drunk."
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Fozzed
Fractured
Fragile - Because one's head feels as if it could easily break.
Frail
Frayed
Frazzled - Can mean "exhausted" or "nervous" as well as "drunk." US,
since the late 1800s.
Freaked
Freaked out - Originally a drug culture term. Means crazy or out of
control.
Free and easy - A "free and easy" is a gathering where people assemble,
usu. at a public house, to drink and sing.
Freefall
Freighted one's crop with likker - Here, "crop" means "stomach." Cowboy
slang.
French-fried - Elaboration of "Fried."
Frenzied as Thyia - Said of a woman who is violently and turbulently
drunk. Thyia is a daughter of Castalius and mother of Delphus by
Apollo, and is said to have been the first to sacrifice to Dionysus. Her
name comes from the Greek meaning "to rage frantically."
Fresh - Slightly inebriated, lively. British & US, early 1800s.
Fresh in drink
Freshish - On the verge of intoxication. 1819 to 1860.
Friccased
Fried - Used esp. by British office and shop ladies.
Fried on both sides
Fried to the eyebrows
Fried to the eyes
Fried to the gills - "Fried" plus "Up to the gills." US, mid 1900s.
Fried to the hat
Fried to the tonsils
Fried up
Froze one's mouth - Noted by Benjamin Franklin
Frozen - Cf. "Petrified." Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
FUBARed - From the military acronym FUBAR, Fucked Up Beyond All
Recognition. Army use.
Fucked - Extremely intoxicated.
Fucked out
Fucked over
Fucked up
Fucked up as a China ghost - US military.
Fuckered
Fuddle
Fuddled - Confused with drink. From "fuddle," liquor or a drinking spree.
Since the 1600s.
Fuddled as an ape
- 42 -

Fuddled one's cap - To "fuddle one's cap" means to get drunk. Noted by
Benjamin Franklin.
Fuddled one's nose
Fuddled up
Full - Having drunk to repletion. Cf. "Saturated." Since the 1700s.
Full as a boot - Australian, since
circa 1925.
Full as a bull - Probably a
nonsense rhyme. Cf. "Drunk as a
skunk in a trunk." New Zealand
slang.
Full as a bull's bum
Full as a fairy's phone book -
Australian.
Full as a fart
Full as a fiddle
Full as a fiddler - See "Drunk as a
fiddler."
Full as a fiddler's fart - Australian.
Full as a goat - Here, "goat" may
be a corruption of "goiter." Briti
tavern term since the 1700s.
Full as a goog - A "goog" is an egg.
Australian.
Full as a goog/googy egg
Full as a goose
Full as a lord - See "
sh
Drunk as a lord."
Full as a pig's ear - "Pig's ear" means beer.
Full as a piper
Full as a piss-ant
Full as a po - Extremely drunk. See "Full as the family po."
Full as a seaside shithouse on Boxing Day - Boxing Day is the day after
Christmas in Great Britain and Canada. British.
Full as a state school hat rack
Full as a tick - As full of alcohol as a tick is of blood. Australia and New
Zealand, 1800s.
Full as a tun/tunne - 1500s to mid 1600s.
Full as an egg - Australian.
Full as the family po - "Po" means chamberpot, and is a corruption of
French "pot de chambre." Australian.
Full as two race trains
Full cargo aboard
Full cocked
Full drunk
Full flavored
Full of courage
- 43 -

Full of Dutch courage - "Dutch courage" is the fleeting or false bravery
endowed by intoxication. Cf. "Pot valiant." "Dutch" appears in many
disparaging phrases in British slang due to the rivalry that existed
between the English and the Dutch in the 17
th
century. "Dutch cheer" is
spirits, a "Dutch concert" is the singing of inebriated carousers, and a
"Dutch headache" is a hangover.
Full of hops
Full of liquor
Full of red disturbance - Cowboy slang.
Full to the back teeth - See "Back teeth afloat."
Full to the brim
Full to the bung - Very inebriated. Cf. "Bunged." Primarily British, since
the 1800s.
Full to the gills
Full to the guards - Dead drunk. British Nautical, 1900s.
Full up - Completely full, in this case with alcoholic drink.
Full up to the brim
Full up to the brain
Fully soused
Fully tanked
Fun-loving - Drunk and playful.
Funky - Because the behavior of a sot is often weird.
Funny - Euphemistic. Since the 1700s.
Funky drunk
Fupped duck - Variant of "Fupped uck."
Fupped uck - Partial disguise of "Fucked up," plus suggests the messed-
up speech of a lush.
Fur brained
Fur on one's tongue - From the fuzzy feeling one has in one's mouth
when hung over.
Furry
Furschnickered
Futzed up - Euphemism for "Fucked up."
Fuzzed
Fuzzled - From "fuzzle," to make someone or oneself intoxicated. Since
the early 1700s.
Fuzzy - To "fuzz" is to make, or be, drunk. "Fuzziness" is inebriation.
British & US, since the late 1700s.
Fuzzy headed

Gaffed
Gaga/Ga-ga - Scottish slang
Gage - "Gage" is a drink of beer, esp. among tramps.
Gaily
Gallows drunk
- 44 -

Galvanized - Cf. "Electrified."
Gambrinous - Full of beer. The word comes from Gambrinus, a mythical
Flemish king who is supposed to have invented beer.
Gargled - From "gargle," a drink of alcohol, or to drink booze.
Gaseous
Gassed - From "gas," liquor, or from "gas" in the sense of "very
satisfying." British (esp. army) & US, since circa 1915.
Gassed up - To "gas up" is to drink crapulently.
Gassy
Gauged/Gaged - "Gauge/gage" is inferior whisky. Also, a "gage" is a
quart pot, a measure of liquor. Cf. "Gage." US, early 1900s.
Gay - Tipsy. Refers to uplifted spirits. 1800s to early 1900s.
Gay weel eworn'd - Term used by Whitehead.
Gayed
G?d up - Possibly from "Geed up."
Geared - Short for "Geared up."
Geared up
Geed
Geed up - Possibly from Hobo slang for "crippled" or "bent and battered,"
or from drug slang for intoxicated. If the latter case, its roots are in
"Geared up." Also, a "gee" is a glass of liquor and a "gee-up" is a drinking
spree.
Geeded
Geeded up
Geeked
Geesed - A "geeser" is a drink of spirits, or a drunkard.
Geezed - A "geezer" or "geez" is a drink of alcohol. Also, to "geez/geeze"
means to take or drink a dose of dope in drug lingo.
Geezed up
Generous - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Geophysical well logging
Gerook - High. Usu. means intoxicated by marijuana, but apparently is
applicable to alcohol as well. South African slang.
Gestunketed
Getting a bag on
Getting a bun on
Getting a can on - Canned up (cf.). A "can on" is intoxication.
Getting a glow
Getting a glow on - From reddening of the face.
Getting a jag on
Getting a little boozy
Getting a little high
Getting a little inebriated
Getting a little tipsy in one
Getting a little whizzy
Getting a load on - See "Loaded." Australian.
- 45 -

Getting a shithouse on
Getting a skate on - See "Has a skate on."
Getting a snootful - See "Has a snootful."
Getting a thrill
Getting about all one needs
Getting an answer
Getting an edge on - Drinking to preserve the pleasurable "buzz," but not
so that one becomes blotto.
Getting barreled up
Getting behind - Having a pleasant intoxication. Probably from drug
slang.
Getting bleary-eyed
Getting blotto
Getting boozed up
Getting boozy

Getting bung-eyed
Getting canon
Getting charged up
Getting Chinese
Getting crocked
Getting cut
Getting dopy
Getting fired up
Getting flushed
Getting full
Getting glorious
Getting goofy
Getting high
Getting in
Getting inebriated
Getting intoxicate
Getting it off the mind
Getting jingled
- 46 -

Getting jungled
Getting kailed up - Possibly from "Kaylied."
Getting kind of high
Getting kind of woozy
Getting light-headed
Getting likkered up
Getting lit
Getting lit up
Getting loaded
Getting looped
Getting loose
Getting off - Short for "Getting off on a high." Originally a drug term.
Getting relief and pleasure from intoxication. US, mid 1900s.
Getting on
Getting on it - On a spree. Australian, since circa 1920.
Getting on one
Getting on the band wagon
Getting on the pole - Verging on intoxication.
Getting on with it - Drinking and getting smashed, on a spree.
Getting one
Getting one's brain fried - Probably originated in drug slang.
Getting one's ears back
Getting one's gauge up - Possibly from the rising pressure gauge on a
steam boiler, and influenced by "Gauged."
Getting one's hops in - Getting tipsy.
Getting one's load - See "Loaded."
Getting one's load on
Getting one's shoes full
Getting organized
Getting pickled
Getting piped - Since circa 1925.
Getting polluted
Getting pretty full
Getting pretty high
Getting pretty well lit
Getting ready
Getting right
Getting shaky
Getting shitty
Getting shot
Getting sloppy
Getting soft
Getting soused
Getting started
Getting stiff
Getting tanked up
- 47 -

Getting teed up
- 48 -

Getting the big head - Cf. "Got on one's little hat."
- 49 -

Getting the flavor
Getting the gauge up
Getting the habit
Getting the nose painted - See "Paintin' one's nose."
Getting there - To "get there" is to get soused. British, 1800s.
Getting there with both feet
Getting tipsy
Getting to be a drunkard
Getting to feel one's liquor
Getting too full
Getting tore up from the floor up
Getting topsy
Getting under the influence
Getting underway
Getting up high
Getting up the pole - Becoming tipsy.
Getting warmed
Getting warmed up
Getting wasted
Getting wet
Getting whizzy
Getting woozy
Gheed - From "Geed."
Gheed up
Giddy - "Giddy water" is alcoholic drink.
Giffed - From "TGIF," Thank God It's Friday. Cf. "Paid."
Giggled - "Giggle-water" is alcohol, particularly champagne.
Giggled up
Gilded - Since the early 1600s.
Gin crazed
Gin soaked
Gingered up - Stimulated or enlivened as if from ginger.
Ginned - US, since the late 1800s.
Ginned up - Canadian slang. To "gin up" is to drink hard liquor, not to
get drunk but to get in the proper
mood for partying.
Ginnified - Dazed with liquor.
Ginny - Drunk on gin. Late 1800s.
Givin' the town hell with the hide off -
Celebrating drunkenly. Cowboy term.
Giving it a bash - Drinking heavily.
Giving Nature a fillup
Gizzled
Glad - Merry. Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
Glanders ? See "Got the glanders."
- 50 -

Glass eyed
Glassy
Glassy-eyed
Glazed/Glaized - Stuporous. Perhaps from glazed-over eyes. Noted by
Benjamin Franklin.
Glazed drunk - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Glazed over
Globular - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Glombed
Glorious - Term used by Robert Brown in his poems. Scottish, since the
1700s.
Gloriously cockeyed
Gloriously drunk - Scottish.
Glowed
Glowing - "Glow" or "glow on" means mild intoxication.
Glued - From the immobility experienced in heavy inebriation.
Goat drunk - Lustful. Since the early 1600s.
God-awful drunk - Extremely drunk.
God's own drunk - Very drunk. Term used by Jimmy Buffet.
Goes out
Goes over the tops of trees
Goggle-eyed
Goggled
Goggled eyed
Going - A "go" is a drink of spirits, esp. gin.
Going it blind - Imbibing heavily. Since the late 1800s.
Going on the Cousin Sis/Cis - "Cousin Sis/Cis" is rhyming slang for
"piss" and means a drunken spree.
Going on the piss
Going out
Going over the cognac trail
Going overboard
Going to Jerusalem
Going to town - On a binge.
Going under
Gold-headed
Golfed
Gone - Dead drunk, entirely drunk.
Gone a peg too low - See "Pegged too low."
Gone behind the scenes
Gone blind
Gone blooey
Gone Borneo - US campus use. From the supposedly wild people of
Borneo.
Gone dead
Gone down in flames
- 51 -

Gone flooey
Gone haywire
Gone maximum Southern Comfort
Gone native - Cf. "Gone Borneo."
Gone out
Gone out like a light
Gone over the hill
Gone over the edge with the rams - To "go over the edge with the rams"
is to get far too drunk in the slang of hardboiled detective novels.
Gone pffft/phut
Gone to Mexico - From the habit of US teens sneaking across the border.
Implies excessive drinking.
Gone to Olympus
Gone to the devil
Gone under - Having succumbed to the effects of alcohol.
Gone wild
Gonged - Stoned. Probably from drug slang.
Gonged to the gills
Gonzo
Good and drunk
Good-humored
Good to go
Goofed - Possibly from drug lingo.
Goofed up
Goofy
Googly-eyed
Gooned
Gordoned - Drunk on gin. From Gordon's, a popular brand of gin.
Gordoned up
Gory/Gorey-eyed - From the redness of the eyes.
Got a bag on - See "Tied a bag on."
Got a blow on
Got a brass eye - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Got a bun on - "Bun" may be short for "bundle," a quantity of anything.
Gut a buzz on
Got a can on
Got a crumb in one's beard
Got a dish
Got a drop in the eye
Got a furred tongue
Got a glow on
Got a gutful of piss - Australian slang.
Got a jag on
Got a little buzz on - Tipsy.
Got a little polly on
Got a load on
- 52 -

Got a rum nose
Got a skinful
Got a snootful
Got a spur in one's head - Slightly drunk. Originally and primarily jockey
slang, late 1700s.
Got a turkey on one's back
Got about enough
Got all one can carry - Extremely drunk.
Got barley fever - "Barley fever" or "barrel fever" is drunkenness or the
D.T.'s.
Got behind the scenes
Got bread and cheese in one's head - Mid 1600s to mid 1700s.
Got by the head
Got corns in one's head
Got 'em thick - Very intoxicated. Since circa 1890.
Got kibbled heels
Got more than one can carry
Got on a load
Got on one's little hat - Implies the feeling of a swollen head when one is
hung over. Also, a "large head" is a drunkard. Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
Got on one's skates
Got one going - Has been drinking heavily.
Got one's beer on board
Got one's boiler loaded
Got one's dose
Got one's glass eyes
Got one's little hat on
Got one's nightcap on - Suggests a "nightcap," a drink taken just before
retiring to bed.
Got one's shoes full
Got one's skinful
Got one's snowsuit on and heading north - Cf. "Too far north."
Got one's skates on - On a binge. May refer to difficulty in walking.
Got one's tank filled
Got one's topgallant sails out
Got rats
Got some in one
Got the back teeth well afloat - See "Back
teeth afloat."
Got the blind staggers
Got the flavor
Got the glanders - Glanders is an illness
with symptoms that include swollen neck
glands and a runny nose. Noted by
Benjamin Franklin.
- 53 -

Got the glassy
Got the good feeling
Got the gout - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Got the gravel rash - Reeling drunk. "Gravel rash" refers to scrapes from
a fall.
Got the horns on/hornson
Got the horseback
Got the Indian vapors
Got the knock
Got the nightmare
Got the pole evil
Got the sun in one's eyes
Got the treatment
Got the wobbly boot on - Australian slang.
Got too much
Got up to the third story
Gourded
Gowed
Gowed to the gills
Gowed-up - Possibly from obsolete drug slang. "Gow" means drugs or
dope, and could include alcohol.
Grade-A certified drunk
Grapeshot -- Intoxicated with wine. A pun on "grapeshot," a type of small
cannon shot. British & US, late 1800s.
Graveled - British, 1800s.
Greased - Inspired by "Oiled." US, early 1900s.
Green about/around the gills - See "Fishy about the gills."
Greetin' fou/fu? - Crying drunk. See "Fou." Scottish.
Grilled - Possibly a variation of "Fried."
Groatable - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Grog on board
Grogged - "Grog" is a British naval term for a mixture of rum and water,
and has come to mean any liquor. Since the mid 1800s.
Grogged up
Groggery - 1800s.
Groggified - British, early 1800s.
Grogging
Grogging on - To "grog on" is to drink heavily over a long period.
Grogging up
Groggy - Half drunk, or stupefied by inebriation. Since the 1700s.
Grudo
Guarding the gates of Hell
Gummixed up - Confused. "Gummed up" plus "bollixed up."
Gutted
Gutter drunk
Gutter mouth
- 54 -

Guttered - Scottish slang
Guyed out - Circus slang. To "guy out" means to tighten, so means
"tight."
Guzzled - From "guzzle," booze, or to drink liquor esp. to excess.

Had a bit of the creature - Appears in the movie Death Hunt.
Had a bun on
Had a couple
Had a couple of drinks
Had a couple of shooters
Had a cup too many
Had a cup too much
Had a dram
Had a drop too much
Had a few
Had a few drinks
Had a few too many
Had a glow on
Had a kick in the guts
Had a little
Had a little too many
Had a little too much
Had a number of beers
Had a rubber drink - A "rubber drink" is one that makes one vomit,
because it "bounces back up."
Had a run
Had a shot or two
Had a skinful - Very drunk. A "skinful" is a bellyful of liquor, or enough
liquor to get one drunk (cf. "Loaded), and may refer to a wineskin. Cf.
"Borracho."
Had a skinful and a half
Had a smell of the barmaid's apron - See "Sniffed the barmaid's apron."
Had a snootful
Had a snort - A "snort" is a drink of liquor.
Had a thump over the head with Sampson's jawbone - Refers to, of
course, the legendary jawbone of an ass. Also, "Sampson" is a drink of
brandy or hard cider with a little water and sugar. Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
Had a tootful - A "tootful" is a drink in Scottish slang.
Had enough - Consumed enough liquor to completely intoxicate one. Or,
indicates that one has just plain imbibed too much. British & US, since
the late 1800s.
Had enough to make one noisy
Had it
Had one for the worms - From the old belief that alcohol kills worms.
Had one or two - Tipsy. Since the late 1800s.
- 55 -

Had one over the eight - See "One over the eight."
Had one too many
Had one's cold tea
Had one's swill
Had too much
Haily gaily
Hair on one's tongue
Half-a-brewer - Tipsy. Mid 1800s to early 1900s.
Half a load on
Half and half - Half drunk, or less than half sober. Cf. "Arf an' arf."
British and later US, since the early 1700s but now rare.
Half as sober as a judge
Half-assed
Half-bagged
Half-barreled
Half bent out of shape
Half-blind
Half-bulled - Cf. "Bull-dozed." Australian.
Half-canned - Slightly drunk. Since circa 1925.
Half-cocked - Half drunk, tipsy. Possibly refers to this term's other
meaning of "silly" or "foolish." Also, a gun that is half-cocked cannot be
fired. Widespread use since the late 1800s.
Half-cockeyed
Half-cooked
Half-corked
Half-corned
Half-crocked
Half-cut - More than mildly drunk but not yet blotto. Cf. "Cut in the leg."
Widespread since the mid 1800s, but now
obsolete.
Half-doped
Half-drunk
Half-foxed
Half-geared
Half geared up
Half gone - Mildly int
US, since the
Half-goofe
Half high
Half-ho
slang.
Half-iced
Half in the bag -
Half in the boot
Half in the tank
Half in the wrapper
oxicated. British &
1800s.
d
t - Somewhat drunk. Bohemian
US, since the mid 1800s.
- 56 -

Half-jacked - See "Black-jacked."
ed in the ass
e name of a wrestling hold.
British, late 1800s.

aland.
at
ll

f a
s
-sea beer (German "zauber" is
tical, since the 1600s.
ish & US nautical, since at least the late 1800s.
See "Slewed
Half kick
Half-lit
Half-loaded
Half-looped
Half-mocus
Half-muled
Half-muzzled
Half nelson - Possibly from th
Half-on -
Half-out
Half-pickled
Half-pissed
Half rats - British, late 1800s.
Half-rinsed - Australian and New Ze
Half-screwed - More or less drunk.
Half-sea - Contraction of "Half seas over."
Half seas over - Refers to several stages of intoxication. One idea is th
the person is half submerged in liquor and thus half drunk or almost
drunk; the concept is that the person is a ship so low in the water, sma
waves, or "half seas," can sweep over the deck. Another theory is that
the phrase means "halfway across the sea," or halfway between one
state and another. Still another idea is that it comes from the image o
ship nearly on its side, about to founder and sink; hence, it describe
one who is decidedly unsteady due to drunkenness. Or, it may be a
corruption of Dutch "op-zee zober," over
strong beer). Nau
Half seas under
Half-shaved - 1800s.
Half-shot - Brit
Half-slammed
Half-slewed - ." British & US, since the late 1800s.
d
US, mid 1800s.
d
f. "Half seas over."
y under
Half-slopped
Half-snaped
Half-snappe
Half sober
Half-soused
Half-sozzled
Half-sprung -
Half-stewe
Half stiff
Half-stoused
Half-tanked
Half the bay over - C
Half the ba
Half there
- 57 -

Half tipsy
Half under - Nearly down and stuporous
Half up the pol
Half-wrapped
Halfway over
Halfway to Concord
Hammered - Because one's head feels that way. US, since
Hammered to the eyeballs - Recorded in Ca
Hammerish - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Hanced - British eu
Hanging a few on
Hanging one on - Getting very drunk. Originally US, spread to Canada.
Happy - Mildly int
Happy as a kin
Happy
Hard
Hard up
Hardy
Harry Flakers - "Harry" is used in a number of terms in Australian sla
in the form of "Harry _______ers," filling the blank with one of many
slang wor
services.
Harry Honkers
Harry S
Harty
Has a bag on
Has a big head
Has a brass eye
Has a brick in one's/the hat - From the swollen feeling in one's head, or
form the feeling of top-heaviness and the loss
had a brick on one's head. Since circa 1870.
Has a brindle taste in one's mouth - Cowboy slang for hung-over.
Has a
, or partly drunk.
e - Since the late 1800s.
the mid 1900s.
nada in 1976.
phemism, meaning "elevated." 1600s to 1700s.
oxicated, tipsy. "Happy juice" is liquor. Since the 1700s.
g
drunk
- Since the late 1800s.
ng
ds; "flakers" means tired. This particular form originated in the
creechers - Drunk and hysterical.

of equilibrium, as if one
bun on - From "bun," the buzz from drinking. Or, see "Got a bun
on."
Has a buzz on - Mildly intoxicated.
Has a cab - B
Has a canon
Has a cloth in the wind - See "
ritish (specifically London), late 1800s to early 1900s.
Three sheets in the wind." Either a "clo
is a sail, or this term comes from landlubbers who con
meaning a rope used to tie a sail, with the sail itself.
Has a crown-fire - Hung over. Log
sweeps through the to
Has a cup too much
Has a cut leg - See "
th"
fused "sheet,"
ger's slang. A "crown fire" is one that
ps of trees.
Cut in the leg."
Has a drop in the/one's eye - Slightly tipsy. Because the eyes are
reddened as if they have just been treated with medicine. British, since
- 58 -

the late 1600s.
Has a drop in the head
Has a drop too much taken
Has a flag out - See "Has one's flag out," "Flagged."
ase of booze blind - Cowboy slang.
toxicated. Cf. "Glowing
Has a full cargo
Has a full cargo aboard
Has a full-grown c
Has a full jag on
Has a full load on
Has a glow on - Mildly in ."
- Feeling the aftereffects of intoxication. Cf. "Got on one's
Has a guest in the attic
Has a head
little hat."
Has a head on
Has a heat on
Has a jag - A "jag" is a
hold. US. Late
Has a jag on
Has a keg aboard
Has a load - Cf
drinking spree, or as much alcohol as one can
1800s.
. "Loaded." British & US, since the 1800s.
bottom of a baby's pram/bird cage/parrot cage -
the bottom of a crow's nest - all shit and twigs
bag on
Has a load on
Has a load under the skin
Has a mouth - Hung over.
Has a mouth like a vulture's crotch
Has a mouth like the inside of a Turkish wrestler's jock strap
Has a mouth like the
all shit and biscuits
Has a mouth like
Has a mouth on
Has a noggin on
Has a nose to light candles at - Suggests the redness of a drunk's nose.
Has a package on - More common in Britain than in the US. Possibly a
variation of "Tied a ." Also, a "package" is a "load" (cf. "Loaded").
the head
a 1650 to circa 1780.
ow on
on
Has a permasmile
Has a piece of bread and teeth in
Has a pinch of snuff in one's wig
Has a pot in the pate - Circ
Has a pretty good gl
Has a rosy glow
Has a shine on
Has a shocking head on
Has a skate on - Suggests difficulty in walking.
Has a skinful - Very drunk. Cf. "Had a skinful."
Has a slant on - Based
unsteadiness of a sot.
Has a snootful - Suggests an elephant's trunk full of liquid, possibly
on "has a new slant on." Suggests the
- 59 -

based on the fallacy that elephants
Canadian, 1900s.
Has a steamer in one - From the noisy breathing th
accompanies intoxication. Naval, since circa 1910.
Has a swollen head - Cf. "
drink through their trunks. US and
at sometimes
Got on one's little hat." Since the late 1800s.
Has a talking load - Drunk and talkative. A "ta
condition of intoxi
loquacity.
Has a thick head
Has a thick tongue
Has a touch of boskiness
Has a turkey on one's back
Has an edge on - Slightly into
Has as much as one c
lking load" is a degree or
cation marked by
xicated.
an carry - Cf. "Loaded."
r deep
Has been in the bibbling pot
Has been in the sun
Has been dipping rathe
Has been kicked in the guts
Has been making fun
Has been paid - Cf. "Giffed," "Paid."
Has been to a piss-up at a brewery - British.
on somebody who is unattractive. US college slang.
Has bet one's kettle -
Has boozed the gage
Has broken the teapot - Has resumed drinking alcohol after a perio
abstinenc
Has beer goggles - Is so drunk that one hits
To "bet one's kettle" means to be drunk
d of
e. "Teapot" may be a pun on "teetotaler." Cf. "Fell off the
wagon."
Has business on
Has business on both sides of the way
Has bunged one's eye - To "bung one's eye" mea
drink until one's eye is "bunged up
Has burnt/burned one's shoulder
Has corns in one's head - Noted by Benjamin Franklin
Has cut one's leg - Cf. "
ns to drink a dram, or
," or closed.
ts one?s leg Cu ." Late 1600s to mid 1900s.
ug
ill
coholic stupor
- See "Fell off the wagon
Has dampened one's m
Has dipped one's b
Has drink taken
Has drunk more than one's bled
Has drunk more than one's share
Has drunk oneself into an al
Has eaten some Hull cheese
Has fallen off the wagon ."
g

Has flipped one's lid/wi
Has froze one's mouth
Has gallon distemper
- 60 -

Has got a cup too
Has got a skinful
Has got one's skin f
Has got the flavor
Has grog on boa
Has had a few
Has had a skinful
Has had
much - Since the mid 1600s.
ull
rd
a sniff of the barmaid's apron - See "Sniffed the barmaid's
apron."
Has half a bag on
Has heated one's copper
Has heated/het on
Has hung one on
Has knocked on
out one's link."
Has lost a shoe
Has made an example
Has made too
e's kettle
e's link out - Circa 1730 to circa 1770. Also "Has knocked
free with John Barleycorn - See "A date with John
Barleycorn."
Has more than one can hold
Has on a barley cap - Cf. "Wearing a barley cap," "Barleysick." 1500s to
- See "Back teeth afloat
1600s.
Has on an edge - Slightly intoxicated.
Has one's back teeth afloat/awash ."
is
the redness of the face. Cf. "Flagged
Has one's back teeth underwater
Has one's back teeth well afloat
Has one's/a flag out - The "flag" in this phrase is the flag of defiance, or
the bloody flag, signifying that one is drunk. Also, a "flag of defiance"
a drunken carouser. Alludes to ,"
"Flying the ensign." Nautical.
Has one's/the gage up - See "Getting one's gage up."
Has one's/the head full of bees
Has one's head on backwards
Has one's malt a
- Suggests the "buzz" of drunkenness.
bove one's wheat - See "Malt above the meal."
Has one's nuff
Has one's pots on
Has one's soul in soak
Has one's teeth under - Cf. "Back teeth afloat."
Has one's teeth well afloat -
Has one's wet sheet aboard
Has paddled - See "

Since circa 1870.
Paddled."
n.
e of Bacchus - See "Drunk as Bacchus
Has punch aboard
Has rats in the attic - Crazy and/or weak-minded due to intoxicatio
Has sacrificed at the shrin ."
Has scalt one's head pad
Has seen the French king
- 61 -

Has shot the cat - Properly, to "shoot the cat" means to vomit; but sin
drunkenness often
"
ce
leads to vomiting it means to get drunk also. Cf.
Whipcat." British.
Has smashed the teapot - See "Has broken the teapot."
Has snakes in one's bo
Has sold one's senses
Has spliced the main brace - To "splice the main brace" means to ha
drink of liquor, or to drink heavily. In the British navy, sailors who
performed the difficult task of splicing the main brace - the rope th
controls the mainsail - were re
Has spoken with one's friend
Has swallowed a hair/hare - Se
ots - Suffering the delirium tremens. US, 1800s.
ve a
at
warded with an extra ration of rum.
e "Swallowed a hare."

large

Tipsy. A "horn" is a drink of booze.
y Ems - When one lies in bed and the whole room seems to
"Got on one's little hat
Has swallowed a tavern token
Has taken a chiruping glass
Has taken a grown man's dose - A "grown man?s dose" is a very
quantity of liquor. A "dose" is as much spirits as one can hold.
Has taken a horn -
Has taken a drop
Has taken a drop too many
Has taken Hippocrates' Grand Elixir
Has the Aunt
be spinning.
Has the back teeth well afloat
Has the big head - Cf. ."
nnies
pors
meal/wheat - See
Has the blue joh
Has the flavor
Has the heebie-jeebies
Has the Indian va
Has the jim-jams
Has the malt above the
"Malt above the meal."
Has the malt above the w
Has the Mexic
Has the rats
Has the ripples on - Has consumed more tha
one's rightful allotment of drink. From the
"ripples" used to increase a c
Has the screaming meem
Has the senses r
Has the shakes
Has the staggers
Has the sun in one's eyes - Euphemism
implying a drunk's staggering gait is due
sun-blindness. Or, may refer to the red
comple
1770.
ater
an vapors
n
art's capacity.
ies
eeling
to
xion and bloodshot eyes from excessive drinking. Since at least
- 62 -

Has the teeth well afloat
Has the teeth w
Has the uglies
Has the whoops
Has the yorks
Has the zings
Has tied on the bear
Has under one's cap
Has wet both eyes
Has whipped the c
ell under
and jingles

at - See "Whipcat."
k - Drunk and peevish. Cowboy slang.
l spirits
heeled time - Cowboy slang.
own the sink
ener" is a drink of spirits, esp. a
nk, taken in the morning.
breviation for "has been drinking" to indicate that a
Strong spirits that quickly impair the imbiber are called "heady"
e birdies sing - From auditory hallucinations or the "buzz" in
owboy slang.
ohol gives one a warm sensation inside.
brandy
aps because one is tilting.
ttle
tish & US, since the mid 1800s.
man
Has yellow fever
Hasn't got no pain
Haulin' hell out of its shuc
Haunted with evi
Having a cooler
Having a high-
Having a time
Having a tumble d
Having a warmer
Having the eyes opened - An "eye op
mixed dri
Haywire
Hazy - Confused with drink. British & US, early 1800s to early 1900s.
H.B.D. - Medical ab
patient is sloshed.
Heading into the wind
Heady -
liquors.
Hearing th
the head.
Hearing the owl hoot - C
Hearty - British, 1800s.
Heated - Because alc
Heated one's copper
Heated with
Hebriated
Hee-hawing around
Heeled - Perh
Heeled over
Heels a li
Heinous
Helpless - Very intoxicated, blotto. Bri
Hepped
Hepped up
He's a dead
He's a king
- 63 -

He's Pri
Het up
Hiccius doccius/Hicksius docksius/Hixius doxius - From "Hic est doctus,"
a term used for jugglers. Latin (possibl
man." British, mainly 1600s to 1700s.
Hiccus - Shortening of previous term.
Hicky/Hickey/Hickie - Tipsy, not quite drunk. From "Hiccius doccius," for
from diale
to 1800s.
Hictus doctius
Hiddy/Hiddey
High - Usu. means tipsy. Common since the
High and light - Tipsy
High as a cat's back
High as a fiddler - See
nce Eugene
y dog Latin) for "This is a learned

ctic "hick" for "hiccup." British & US (more US use), late 1700s
- Variation of "Hiccius doccius." Late 1600s.
1600s.
, slightly inebriated.
"Drunk as a fiddler."
High" and rhyming
& US, since the late 1800s.
uttle
h
ken spree. To "get
o on a toot. Cowboy slang.
fe's toupee
han Gilroy's kite
High as a fiddler's fist
High as a Georgia pine
High as a kite - Very drunk. Both an elaboration of "
slang for "Tight." British
High as a lone star pine
High as a space sh
High as a steeple
High as Lindberg
High as the sky
High in the saddle - Probably of western (cowboy) origin.
High lonesome - As a noun, means a drinker on a drun
on a high lonesome" is to g
High up to picking cotton
Higher than a giraf
Higher than a kite
Higher t
Hipped
Hit - Short for "Hit and missed."
Hit and missed - Rhyming slang for "Pissed."
Hit by a barn mouse - See "Bitten by a barn mouse."
Hit on the head by the tavern bitch - See "Tavern bitch has bitten one
on the head."
Hit under the wing - Tipsy. Wobb
there. Late 1800
Hit one's kettle
Hitting 'em
Hitting it
Hitting it a bit
Hitting it a lit
Hitting it up
Hitting the booze
ling like a bird that has been wounded
s to mid 1900s.
up
tle
- 64 -

Hitting the bottle
Hitting the hooc
Hitting the jug
Hitting the red-eye
Hitting the sauce
Hoary-eye
"Oryide."
Hockey/Hocky - Usually means drunk on "hock," wh
strong stale beer. British, late 1700s to late 1800s.
Hocus - "Hocus" is an old term for drugged spirits, f
or induce stupefaction by drugging wine or liquor.
Hocus-pocus
Hog drunk
Hog-wild
Hogwhimpering
Holding up the wall
Honked - A "honking" is a drinking session. British armed services.
Honkers - Very drunk. A "honker" is a drink
armed for
Honking
Hooched
Hooched up
Hoodman - Means blind drunk. From the term for the person blindfolded
in blind man's b
British, 1700s.
Hoodma
Hooted
Hopped - Originally drug lingo
"hops" used in making
Hopped to t
Hopped up
Hopping hipped - Drunk and quarrelsome.
Horizonta
Hornson
Horny
Horrid - Sin
Horseback
Hosed - Means either wet, beaten, or tricked.
Hot - Bahamian slang, from now-obsolete US term. Also
perspiration at one s
h

d - From the bleary eyes. A Cockney variation of this is
ich originally meant
rom "hocus," to spike
- Cf. previous term. British, early 1700s to 1800s.
of strong spirits. British
ces and office and shop lady talk.
luff. Refers to the drunk's inability to move about easily.
n blind
, used esp. for beer (reinforced by the
beer).
he eyelids
l - Very drunk, lying on the floor. Services, since circa 1935.

ce circa 1780.
suggests the
tage of intoxication. Cf. "Heated."
wagon
than a boiled/biled owl - Fighting drunk. See "Drunk as a boiled
Hot as a red
Hot coppers
Hot-headed
Hotsy-totsy
Hotter
owl."
- 65 -

Hotter than a skunk
Housed - US campus slang.
How-came-you-so
How-come-ye-so
However many
- British & US, since the early 1800s.
sheets one has, they're all in the wind - See "Three sheets
in the wind."
e bottle
tinuously drunk. See "Has one's flag out
Howling
Howling drunk
Hugging th
Humming
Humored
Hung one on
Hung out the bloody flag - Con ."
efiance
g drunk. The "red lane" is
e at least the mid-1800s.
Hyped up - Probably originated as drug lingo.
Hung out the flag of d
Hunted a tavern fox
Hunting the fox down the red lane - Gettin
one's throat. Sinc
Hurting a turtle
Hydromancy - Applied to a maudlin souse.

I-O
- 66 -

Iced
Iced to the eyebrows
Ill - Senator Mills of Arkansas used this in reference to the condition
Fanne Fox was in the night they were stopped for reckless driving. Most
likely she was not really sick,
but drunk. This makes a
wonderful
"
euphemism - cf.
Under the weather."
Illumin
"
ated - Elaboration of
Lit."
Illuminated with cham
Imbibed giggle water
Imbibed not wisely
Imbibed too freely
Imbibed to
Impaired
Impixlocated - Tipsy.
"Intoxicated" plus "
pagne
but well
o much
ilated Pix ."
1900s.
lty
ken stupor
al state of fustication - Noted in 1861.
used for junkies, but can refer to drunks.
nce circa 1849.

of temulency
state of chassis - Extremely "plastered." Anglo-Irish.
e
rug lingo. "Zone" means "ozone,"
British, early
Impixocated
In a bad way
In a difficu
In a ditch
In a drun
In a fix
In a fog
In a fuddle
In a gener
In a glow
In a head
In a heap
In a muddle
In a nod - Usu.
In a rosy glow
In a state of elevation - Si
In a state of intoxication
In a state
In a stew
In a terrible
In a tranc
In a vise
In a zone - Spaced out. Originated in d
so this means very high. Cf. "Zoned."
In armor - Fighting drunk, "pot-valiant." British, 1600s to 1800s.
In bad shape
In bed with one's boots on - So drunk that one cannot take off one's
- 67 -

shoes before retiring. This phrase
so this c
In beer
In booze
In color
In drink - Since the late 1500s.
In fine/g
In for it
In high spirits
In it low
In liquor - Since
In Liquor Pond
In Liquor-Pond Street
In merry pin - Happy after having several drafts of ale. Cf. "
has the additional meaning of "dead,"
ould mean "dead drunk."
ood fettle - British & US, since the 1800s.

the early 1700s.
Pegged too
low." "Pin" is another term for the peg used to me
In miraculous high spirits - Scottis
In Mexico - See "
asure half-pints of ale.
h, late 1800s.
Gone to Mexico."
In one's airs -
In one's ales
In one's altitudes - In an
British, 1600s to
In one's armor
In one's beer
In one's boots - Very drunk.
In one's cups - Because of its euphemistic an
is usu. used jocularl
In one's elemen
In one's glory
In one's habit
In one's pots
In one's p
In orbit
In pots
In proper fett
In rare f
In soak
In the altitudes - Light-headed, giddy. Since the 1700s.
In the bag - Possibly related to "
Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
elevated mood. "Altitudes" is drunkenness.
1700s.
d literary tone, this phrase
y. Since the late 1500s.
t(s)
s
rosperity
le
orm
tied a bag on." Or from a phra
meaning "des
In the blues
In the cast-iro
In the cellar
In the clouds
In the Crown
se
troyed," from plastic body bags.
n horrors - Suffering delirium tremens. Anglo-Irish.
/crowning office - See "Been in the crown office."
In the cups
In the ditch
- 68 -

In the down-pins - Derived from the game of skittles. The term "dead
man" (cf. "Down among the dead men") can refer to a downed skittle pin
le.
gun" is
eaning of "hopeless," may imply that one is a hopeless
one - From restaurant slang for a table whose customers are all
British army use.
cing the delirium tremens.
s the suds of beer. Noted by
sun
as well as an empty bott
In the grip of the grape
In the gun - Possibly an allusion to a vessel called a "gun," which was
used for ale at universities; or because one is "almost shot." Also, "
an old term for a flagon of ale. British, late 1600s to early 1800s.
In the gutter - The image is obvious. Also, since the phrase has the
additional m
drunkard.
In the horrors
In the oz
stewed.
In the pen
In the pink
In the pots
In the pulpit
In the rats -
In the sack
In the satchel
In the shakes - Probably means experien
In the stone-wall horrors - Anglo-Irish.
In the suds - Slightly fuddled. Suggest
Benjamin Franklin; since circa 1765.
In the sun - Cf. "Been in the ," "Standing too long in the sun." British
the 1770s.
ine
r head.
ical, early 1800s to early 1900s.
oration of "tipsy." Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
rol.
," a dram of
isguised
army slang since
In the sunsh
In the tank
In the upper story - The "upper story" is the brain o
In the wind - Naut
In the wind's eye
In the wrapper - Very drunk.
In tipium grove - Elab
In uncharted waters
In very good humor
Incapable - Because one is so drunk that one has lost physical cont
From the old British legal offense of being "drunk and incapable."
Incog/In-cog - From "incognito," or from "cog(ue)
spirits. Cf. "D ." British, early 1800s to early 1900s.
? Cf. "Ill
Incognitibus
Incognito
Indentured
Indisposed ," "Under the weather."
Inebriate
Inebriated
Inebrious - Early 1800s.
- 69 -

Infirm - Cf. "Ill," "Under the weather," etc.
th wine - Wildly drunk.
"Inky." Also, "ink" is cheap red wine. Australian,
my slang esp. during World War I, possibly
Inflamed wi
Influenced
Injun drunk - US derogatory.
Inked - Probably from
since the late 1800s.
Inky - Tipsy. British ar
suggested by "Blotto."
Inkypoo - A
Insobriety
Inspired - To
Intemperate
Intemperate as Silenius - Suggests that one is habitually drunken.
Silenius was an old satyr who hung around Dionysus/Bacchus, and
because he w
everywhere.
Inter po
Into it
Into the sauce
Into th
Intox
Intoxed
Intoxicate
Intoxicated
Inundated
Invigorated - "Invigorator" is liquor.
Invincible
ustralian.
"inspire" is to fuddle. British, 1800s.
as always too drunk to walk, other satyrs had to carry him
culis - Latin for "between cups."

e suds
- Cf. "Full of Dutch courage."
, esp. when one is "irrigating one's
e mid 1800s.
Also,
grant slang. British, since the 1700s.
e
ck
and one can't let go
eeve - Since the mid 1800s.

It's working on one
sick or tired. Also, a "jack" is a leather drinking mug. Cf.
cked
Invisible
Iron-plated
Irrigated - To "irrigate" is to drink
throat." US, since th
Irrigated the ulcers
Ishkimmish - Perhaps an imitation of a drunk's slurred speech.
"skimmish" is booze in va
It's a dark day with on
It's beginning to ki
It's getting to one
It's got a hold of one
It's showing on one
It's six pots up one's sl
It's starlight with one

Jack - Mentally
"Black ja ."
- 70 -

Jacked
Jack
Jag
Jag on
Jagged - A
Jagged
Jaked
Jambled -
Jammed
Jarred -
Jazzed
Jazzed-up
JD'd to
Jickey
Jiggered -
Jim-jams
Jingled - A "jingle" is a drunken spree
imbibing.
Jingling
Jocular
John Bull
Jolly ? Slightly intoxicat
1800s, colloq
Jolly drun
Jolly fu'
Jollying up
Jolted - A "jolt" is the kick or "charge" from a dr
drink itse
Joplined
Joy riding
Joyful
Jubilating
Jug-bitten - From the figurative se
British, early 1600s to mid 170
Jug-steamed - US, mid 1800s.
Jugged - Used esp
since circa
Jugged-up
Juiced - Variant of "
is a heavy drinker.
Juiced to the g
Juiced-up
Juicy - Si
Jumbled
Jumbo - Short for "Jumbo's trunk."
Jumbo's trunk - See "
ed up
"jag" is a drinking spree, or a drunkard. Since the 1700s.
up
Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
A "jar" is a pint of beer in Australian slang.
the max
From the jigger used to measure liquor.
, or the state of mellowness from
British & US, World War I.
ed. Since the 1600s; euphemistic until the early
uial since.
k
ink of liquor, or the
lf, esp. brandy or whisky straight up.
nse of the liquid contents of a jug.
0s.
. by British shop and office ladies. Also US; in use
1919.
Juicy." "Juice" or "joy juice" is booze, and a "juicer"
ills
nce the early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Elephant's trunk." Late 1800s.
- 71 -

Jungled - Drunk on "jungle juice," home-brewed drink made by sold
prisoners, etc. from what
available. "Jungle juice"
originally meant A
US & Au
Junked
Junked up
Jus' a li'l boopadoo
Just about drunk
Just about half-drunk
Just comforta
Euphemistic.
Just fe
slang.
Just plain drunk
Just showing signs
iers,
ever alcohol and flavorings happen to be
frican rum.
stralian.
p
bly mellow -
elin' round - Cowboy
Just south of bejasus
"

Ka-floot
Kailed up - "Alcoholized.
Probably influenced by
"Canned." Since circa 1927.
Kali'ed - "Kali" is a sweet of sherbet wrapped in a triangular
sipped through a licorice straw. "K
Kanurd - Variation of "Kennurd."
Kaput - From German for "destroyed."
Kaylied - Probably a variation of "Kali'ed."
Kayo'd/Kayoed - From K.O., a knock-out in boxing.
Keelhauled -
keelhauling.
Keeping one's nose in the cup
Keeping one's sails up - Just a bit intoxicated, but all righ
Keg-legged - Play on "peg leg." Su
Kenird - Variation of "Kennurd."
Kennurd/Kenurd -
since circa 1874
Kentucky-fried
Kerflummixed
Kerfuckered
Kerpunkle - See
bag and
ali-water" is champagne.
Because one who is very drunk may look like a victim of
t.
ggests staggering gait.
Back slang for "drunk." Cf. "Flatch kennurd." British,
.
/Kerflummoxed
"Capoonkle."
ickered
he roof - Heavily inebriated.
Kerschn
Kettled
Keyed - US college use.
Keyed to t
Keyed up
- 72 -

Keyed up to the roof
Keyholed - The idea is that o
the keyhole
Kib'd heels
Kicked in the guts - A "
Kicking up one's heel
Kicking
Killed
Killed o
1800s.
Killed one's dog - To "kill one's
Noted by Benj
Kind of high
Kind
Kisk
Kisky - Stupid with drink. Possibly from the fuddled speech of a
or from Romany "kushto," "good." Alternately, could have been
influenced by "whisky" and "frisky." British, mid 1800s to mid 1900s.
Kissed (the) Black Betty - To "kiss the
a drink. Noted b
Kissing
Kited
Knapped/Kn
Knackered
Knee-crawling
Knee-crawling drunk
Knee-crawling, commode-hugging, gutter-wallowing drunk
Knee-crawling, going a
Knee-slapping drunk
Knee-w
Kneed
Knocked blooey
Knocked coo-coo
Knocked for/to a loop
Knocked off one's pins
Knocked one's
Knocked out
Knocked over
Knocked up
Knockered
Knockin' round lik
Knocking it back
Knows how the cards are d
Knows not the way ho
Knows the wa
Knus-drunk
ne is so drunk, one can't get the key into
for one's house.
kick in the guts" is a drink of liquor.
s
up the devil
ff - Removed from (or lying under) the table due to intoxication.
dog" means to drink heavily or be drunk.
amin Franklin.
of woozy
drunk
babe/Black Betty" means to take
y Benjamin Franklin.
the cap
apt - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
round with one's zipper open drunk
alking drunk
link out - 1700s.


e a blind dog in a meat shop ? Cowboy slang.
ealt - Means that one is a heavy drinker.
me
y home
- 73 -

K.O.'d - See "Kayo'd."
k - Variation of "Cronk
Kraeusened
Krank/Kron ."
Ky-eyed
s
eer (from "lace curtain" meaning Burton beer). Cf.
Kursasted

Laced - Because one's bloodstream is laced with alcohol. Also, "lace" i
strong liquor, or b
"Polluted."
Laced one's coffee/tea - T
esp. with rum or
Lager
Laid
Laid back
Laid out - Like a co
Laid out like a
Laid right out
Laid to
Lame
Langered
Lap in th
Lapped
Lapped the gutter
Lapping (in) the
British, 1800s.
Lapping it up
Lappy - "Lap" or "lapper" is thieves' slang for drink. 1700s to 1800s.
Larruping drunk - To "larrup"
meant "gre
Lathered
Laughing at the carpet - Floored by intoxication.
Laughing jag -
Laying one on
Laying out dead drunk
Laying o
Leaked
Leaning
Leaping
Leaping dru
Leaping up
Leary/Leer
Leathered
Led astray
Legless - Drunk to the point of falling over. Scottish
Lekker - Tipsy
o "lace" a non-alcoholic drink is to spike it,
brandy.
-frenzied
rpse at a wake.
rug
the bone
e gutter
gutter - So drunk as to drink from the gutter like a dog.
is to flog. In the Old West, "larruping"
at" or "wonderful."
Given to laughter due to inebriation.
ut one's kit - Vomiting due to intoxication.
nk
y - US, late 1800s to early 1900s.
. South African slang, from Afrikaans.
- 74 -

Letting 'er go
Letting 'er go Gallagher - Th
starting to get int
Letting 'er snort
Letting 'er t
Letting go
Letting off steam
Letting th
for rum.
Letting the finger
Leveled/Levelled
Lifted - US college s
Lifting one's elbow
Lifting the little finger
Light - Noted b
Light-headed
Light on top
Light up - Ba
Lighting up
Lights out
Lightsome
Like a glee-man's bitch - A glee-man is a minstrel. Refers to the
staggering g
Plowman."
Like a rat in tr
drowned rat."
Like an owl in an ivy bush - Having a vacant stare due to drunkenness.
The ivy bush is a favored h
Bacchus. Since the 1600s.
Like Chloe
e phrase means "let's begin," so it may mean
oxicated.

ear
e finger ride the thumb - "Finger and thumb" is rhyming slang
ride the thumb too often
lang.
y Benjamin Franklin.

hamian slang. From "Lit up."

ait of a souse. Appears in William Longman's "Piers
ouble - A "rat in trouble" is a drunkard. Cf. "Drunk as a
aunt for owls, as well as the favorite plant of
/Cloe - See "Drunk as
Chloe."
Likker-soak
Likkerous
Limber - N
Franklin.
Limp - Very drunk.
Lined - L
alcohol.
Lion-drunk -
ed
oted by Benjamin
ined with a coating of
Roaring drunk, drun
and rowdy or qua
the 1500s.
Liquified
Liquor plug
Liquor-struck
Liquored/Likkered
Liquored/Likkered up
k
rrelsome. Since


- 75 -

Liquorish/Likkerish
Liquor's talking - Cf. "Has a talking load."
ot
the euphoric state rather than the redness of the face.
my use.

as tree
watter with 12 volts on the filament
dow
s

monwealth
human
"Off the beam
Listened to the owl ho
Listing - Leaning.
Listing to starboard
Lit - From
Lit a bit
Lit to the gills
Lit to the guards
Lit to the gunnels
Lit up - British ar
Lit up a little bit
Lit up like a cathedral
Lit up like a Chanukah bush
Lit up like a Christm
Lit up like a church
Lit up like a church window
Lit up like a fifty-
Lit up like a kite
Lit up like a lighthouse
Lit up like a skyscraper
Lit up like a store win
Lit up like Broadway
Lit up like High Mas
Lit up like London
Lit up like Main Street
Lit up like the Catholic Church
Lit up like the Com
Lit up like the sky
Lit up like Times Square
Lit up to show one's
Little bit on the go
Little bit round the corner
Little off the beam - See ."
ner
ipsy.
oaded"
nition" is alcoholic drink. US, since the 1800s.
es
Little 'round the cor
Little tight - T
Little woozy
Living up a bit
Loaded - A "load" is enough alcohol to get one drunk. Also "l
means laced with intoxicant. US & British, since the 1800s.
Loaded for bear(s) - "Ammu
Loaded one's cart
Loaded to the barrel
Loaded to the earlob
Loaded to the gills
Loaded to the guards
- 76 -

Loaded to the gunw
Loaded to the hat
Loaded to the muzzle
Loaded to the Plimsoll mark - The Plimsoll mark (after Sam Plimsoll) i
the legal submergence level of British merchant vessels
loaded with all one can
Loaded to t
Loaded up
Loading up
Lock-leg
Locked
Locoed out
Locoed out on an 8-ball
Logged - Derived from "
ales/gunnels - US nautical, late 1800s.
s
. Thus, means
hold. British, since the 1800s.
he tailgate
ged
Waterlogged."
Long stale d
late 1800s.
Longlong - Pidgin.
Longwhisky - Pidgin.
Looked upon the wine when it was red - Tipsy. Elaborate euphemism
that appea
runk - Depressed as the result of alcoholic debauchery. US,
rs in an 1897 Summerville and Ross story. From Proverbs in
out the gills
id 1800s.
through a glass
the phrase "thrown for a loop."
-legged
legged
ilt(s) - Unsteady. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
ing up
lord
the Bible.
Looking blue ab
Looking boozy
Looking lively - British, m
Looking
Loony
Loop-legged
Looped - From
Looped
Loopy
Loopy-
Loose
Loose in the haft - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Loose in the h
Loosen
Loppy
Lordly - Cf. "Drunk as a ."
udder
r. Cf. "High in the saddle
Lost one's royal r
Loud and proud
Lousy drunk - Very inebriated.
Love-dovey - Drunk and amorous.
Low in the saddle - Slumped ove ."
ort for "Lubricated."
Suggests that one has been maliciously plied with
Lubed - Sh
Lubed up
Lubricated -
intoxicants.
- 77 -

Luffed the sails - If you "luff the headsail," you've pointed your sloop
far into the wind and it flaps loosely (in much the same manner as
"
too
three sheets to the wind"). "Headsail" is pronounced head-s'l. In addit
the sloop loses stability and rocks with the waves instead of staying
nicely he
Lumped
Lumpy - Since the 1800s.
Lush - To "lush" is to drink heavily or frequently. Sug
wealthy
Lushed
Lushed to t
Lushed up
Lushed up to the n
Lushing it ar
Lushington
Lushington is one's master - See "
ion,
eled over. Used for someone who has crossed his or her limit.
gests that one is
enough to afford the luxury of intoxication.
he gills
uts
ound
is concerned Alderman Lushington ."
e the 1800s.
ying in the gutter - Very drunk, blotto.
s
nose" is to push a bottle past someone so he/she misses out on a drink;
ns to
.
Half
-Irish, esp. public house

lo-Irish,
-
the main
Lushy/Lushie/Lushey - British & US, sinc
Lushy and stropolus - Drunk and rowdy.
L


Mad with it
Made a bridge of one's nose - The person described has passed by
someone in drinking - and may soon pass out. To "make a bridge of one'
thus, the phrase mea
supercede someone
Made an example
Made drunk come
Madza-beargered -
drunk. "Madza" is
pronounced "med-ser" and
comes from Italian "mezzo."
Anglo
use.
Maggoty - Very drunk. From
old term for "bad-tempered"
or "whimsical." Ang
mainly tavern use.
Main brace (is) well-spliced
See "Has spliced
brace." Or from the strengthening influe
Making a trip to Baltimore
Making a nig
Making fun
Making hell pop l
nce of good liquor.
ht of it
oose
- 78 -

Making hey-hey
Making indentures - Staggering. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Making indentures
Making Ms and Ts
Making Ms and Ws - From
slang, since circa 1860.
Making scallops - Cf. "Making wavy-rule."
Making snakes
Making things look crimson
Making Virginia fence - A Virginia fence is a zigzag fence.
walking in a zigzag fashion. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Making wavy-rule - Sta
line. Since circa 1880.
Malt above the meal - Refers to the use of malt in the making of
alcoholic beverages. One who allows the malt to get ahead of the meal is
losing control. Anothe
Since the late 1500s.
Malted
with one's legs - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
the staggering gait of a sot. British printer's
Hence,
ggering drunk. From a printer's term for a wavy
r meaning is that one is on the verge of alcoholism.
- From the malt in beer. Cf. "Hopped."
Malty
Mangled
Marinated - Cf. "Basted."
Market fresh - From English farmers wh
Maroc - Shortening of "Marockgoolus."
Marockgoolus - Perversion of "Miraculous." Scottish, used esp. by
Glaswegians.
Martin drunk - Very drunk. From St. Martin's Day, a time o
celebrati
Mashed
Massacred
Mastok - Australian.
Maudlin/Mawdlin - Drunk and crying. Fro
often depicted w
Maudlin drunk
Mauled/Mauld - Extremely i
Mawbrish - British, 1800s.
Mawdin drunk - Maudlin.
Maxed - Possi
"max" is gin
Maxed out
M.B. - From Melbo
Since c
Mean
Mealy mouthe
Mega-drunk
Mellow - Al
Mellowing
o would return home sloshed.
f orgiastic
on. "St. Martin's evil" is drunkenness. Late 1500s.
m Mary Magdalene, who is
eeping. Since the 1600s.
nebriated. British, since the 1600s.
bly from drug lingo for "stoned," or from "Maxed out." Also,
.
urne Bitter, a well-known brand of Australian beer.
irca 1930.
d
most drunk, or pleasantly tipsy. Since the late 1600s.
- 79 -

Mellowish
Melted -
Mental
Merry - Cheerful but not obnoxious. "Merry-merry" is booze of dubious
origin, and "m
early 1700s.
Merry as a Greek - Because the ancient Greeks had a
high living. A "merry Greek" is a drunken roysterer.
Merry as a grig - A "grig" is a small cricked or a li
this could be
Mesmeri
Messed
Messed-up
Methodistc
drinking.
Mexican-fried
Mickey Finnished - Chloral hydrate, known popular as "M
was once slipped in
Middlin
Miffy
Milled - British, 1800s.
Minging - Means "stinking," so this means "stinking drunk."
Miraculous - Very drunk. Cf. "
Very drunk.
erry-go-down" is strong ale. British & later US, since the
reputation for
vely youngster. Also,
a corruption of "Merry as a Greek."
zed
onated - Jocular reference to the Methodist negative view of
ickey Finn,"
to drinks to make drinkers pass out.
g/Middlin'
n miraculous high spirits I ." Scottish
since the late 1800s.
psy. Since circa 1871.
ed, incoherent. AA term, possibly from "mokus,"
round/'round the edges - Slightly tipsy. To "moisten" is to drink
Mouldy - Very drunk. Anglo-Irish pub term.
sh army slang.
t still conscious. US
ed - Since the early 1700s.
nk and dreamy, or tipsy. Since the 1800s.
is a drinking spree.
Scottish,
Mitered
Mixed - Ti
Mixed-up
Mizzled - Tipsy. Since circa 1923.
Moccasined - May mean bitten by a water moccasin.
Mocus/Mokus - Confus
hobo slang for liquor.
Moist a
booze.
Moistened
Moldy/
Molly
Molo - Briti
Monstered
Moofing - Intoxicated beyond the point of mobility, bu
college campus use.
Moon-ey
Moonlit
Moonshined
Moony/Mooney - Dru
Moored in Sot's Bay
Mopped - A "mop"
- 80 -

Mopping it down
Moppy - British & US, early 1800s to early 1900s
Mops and brooms - See "
.
nd brooms All mops a ."
less in liquor - Half-tipsy.

k." British, since
s.
ince the 1700s.
ted." Often used by
- Cf. "Has a talking
ortening of "Mozart
More or
Moron
Mortal - Dead drunk. Short for
"Mortal drun
circa 1808.
Mortal drunk
Mortallious - Elaboration of
"Mortal drunk." British, 1800
Mortally drunk - Extremely
inebriated. S
Motherless
Motto - Romany for
"intoxica
tramps.
Mountous
Mouthy
load."
Mozart - Sh
and Liszt."
Mozart and Liszt - Tipsy.
Rhyming slang. Cf. "Brahms
and Liszt." Since circa 1945.
Muckibus - Probably a written nonce. British, mid
Muddled - Stupefied by spirits. Sinc
Muddled
Muddy
Muffed
Mug
Mug blot
Mug blotto
Mug/Mugg blotts
Mugged
1700s to mid 1800s.
e circa 1780.
up - Since the late 1600s.
- To "mug oneself" means to get drunk. Cf. "Cup-shot." US, mid
y. From the word's sense of "damp." British & US, since
58.
ut from drinking large quantities of booze. English
leeps with or has intimate
s with a Munter (ugly person).
1800s.
Mugged up
Muggy - Tips
circa 18
Mulled
Mulled up
Mullet-eyed
Munted - Really o
university slang.
Muntered - When one is so drunk one s
relation
- 81 -

Murky
Mushy
Muy tostado - "Well toasted." From Spanish.
Muzzed - Stupidly drunk. To "muzz" is to intoxicate, and to "muzzle" is
drink to excess. Properly, th
overcast. Since circa 1787.
Muzzy - Tips
c


Nace/Nase/Naze - From eith
Cant, early 1500s to
Nailed to the floor
Nappy - Means "heady." From old Scottish dialect for the froth on ale.
"Nap" o
1800s.
Nasty drunk
Native - Used in phrases such as "Gone native." Cf. "
to
is word refers to weather that is dull and
y, stupefied, or made dull by drink. British & later US, since
irca 1775.
er French "nez," nose, or German "nass," wet.
1700s.

r "nappy ale" is strong or "heady" ale. British & US, since the
Gone Borneo."
y - Variant of "Nace." Since circa 1530.
1800s.
d - From "Pissed as a newt
Nazy/Nazie/Nazzie/Nazz
Nearly off one's rocker
Needing a reef taken in - Nautical.
Negro drunk - US derogatory, early
Newte ."
hanks - Tipsy. From the reply when one is asked how one is
runk - Derived from the Ivory soap slogan "99
44
/
100
% pure."
- Term popular with a British army unit once stationed in
ng.
n a drugged stupor.
circa 1850 to circa 1910.
based on Latin "nolo," "not I," as in "nolo contendere."
f Latin "non compos mentis," "not
entally defective.
pos poopoo
or
e through a ladder
Nice
Nicely t
doing.
Nimptopsical - Noted by Bemjamin Franklin.
99
44
/
100
% d
Nipped
Niptopsical
Nitty-pissed
Hong Ko
Nodded
Nodding out - Possibly from drug slang for being i
Noddy-headed - British,
Noggy - British, 1800s.
Nolo - Possibly
British, WWI.
Non compos/Noncompos - Shortening o
of sound mind," or m
Non compos mentis
Non com
Noppy
Not able to handle/hold one's liqu
Not able to se
Not all there
- 82 -

Not feeling any pain
Not heeling over - All right
Not in any pai
Not suffering
Not suff
Nuked
Numb
Numb
Nuts
Nutty - A "nut" is a dram of spirits.
N.Y.D. - Military hospital euphemis
after a drink or two.
n
ering any
with drink
m. Abbreviation for "Not Yet
Diagnosed." Since the late 1800s.
ritish & US, mid 1800s.
- British & US, since the mid 1800s.

e "Oxycrotium

Obfuscated - Stupefied, "obscured" with alcohol. B
Obfusticated
Obliterated
Obliviated
Obnubilated
Ocksecrotia - Se ." Cant, 1700s.
sy.
phylgia - From Greek. The prefix "oeno-" means wine.
nhealthy. Cf. "Ill
Oddish - Tip
Oenomania
Oeno
Off
Off at the nail - Scottish.
Off-color - Looking ill or u ," "Under the weather."
- Australian slang.
azy drunk. British, circa 1860 to circa 1910.
" is the radio beacon used to guide airplanes to
term.

Off nice
Off nicely
Off one's bean
Off one's face
Off one's feet
Off one's nut - Cr
Off one's saucer
Off the beam - The "beam
a runway. Aviation
Off the deep end
Off the nail - Tipsy. Since the early 1800s.
Off the wagon - See "Fell off the wagon."
f. "Gone to Mexico Off to Mexico - C ."
ces
n - Appears in Elton John's "Saturday Night's All
Off to the ra
Off ya face
Off ya head
Oiled ? "Neck oil" is liquor, esp. beer; "oil of barley" is beer. To "oil"
means to fuddle. Since the early 1700s. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Oiled as a diesel trai
Right for Fighting."
- 83 -

Oiled as an Exxon tanker captain - Elaboration of "Oiled." In dis-honor
of the captain of the Exxon Valdez, who was allegedly "oiled" when h
tanker ra
history.
Oiled the/one's wig - To "oil the wig" i
malt" is a
Oiled up
Oinophluxed
On - Tipsy. British esp. public house use, since circa 180
On a bat - "
On a bend
On a (big) bender
s to soak, and originally re
consuming b
On a blind
On a blink
On a blow
On a blow
On a bout
On a Brann
On a bum
On a bun
On a bus
On a bust
On a cloud - Possibly originated in
drug lingo.
On a c
round
On a drunk
On a fool's er
On a fuddle
On a hum
On a jag - Cf. "
is
n aground in Alaska, causing one of the worst oil spills in
s to make or become tipsy. "Oil of
n archaic term for whisky.
2.
Bat" is short for "batter," a drunken binge.
On a binge - The word "binge" mean ferred to
eer to excess.
out
igan - Very drunk.
ontinual drinking merry-go-
rand
mer
Jagged." Since the late 1600s.
On a joyride - A "joyrid
from drinking spirits.
On a merry-go-r
On a merry p
On a racket
On a rampage
On a randan
On a razzer
On a razz
On a rip
On a rummer
On a shindy
On a shitter
e" is either a drunken carouse or the euphoria
ound
in
/rantan/ran-tan
le-dazzle

- 84 -

On a skate - Cf. "Has a skate on."

stralian, since the 1920s.
- Very drunk.

- Cf. "Crying drunk
On a soak
On a souse
On a splash
On a spree
On a spreester
On a tank - Au
On a tear
On a tipple
On a titley
On a toot
On a twister
On a weeping jag ," "Maudlin."
rity with reality - California slang.
teady - Fairly sober after a drinking bout
Also, to "get on one's

ery inebriated. British, 1800s.
gs

ers to the apparently paralyzed stance of a sentry.
00s.



till
- "Cousin Sis" is rhyming slang, a cover-up of "piss."
On a wing-ding
On chemical pa
On fourth
On instruments - US Air Force slang.
On it - Australian, first noted in 1938.
On markers s
On one's ass
On one's ear - Tipsy. Euphemism for "On one's ass."
ear" is to get sloshed. Australian, since circa 1910.
On one's fourth - V
On one's last le
On one's oats
On one's way down
On one's way out
On one's way to a good drunk
On sentry - Ref
British, 18
On spree
On the bash
On the bat
On the batter
On the beer
On the bend
On the blink
On the booze
On the bottle
On the cocktail route - Drinking heavily. The etymology of "cocktail" is
uncertain. One hypothesis is that it comes from Aztec "xoctl," after an
Aztec maiden who introduced the king to her father's brew. Another
theory is that it is derived from French "coquetel," a mixed drink. S
another idea is that its root is Krio "koktel," or scorpion - perhaps
because alcohol packs such a "sting." Society use since circa 1934.
On the Cousin Sis
- 85 -

Since circa
On the cut
On the drink
On the drunk
On the edge
On the floor
On the fritz
On the fud
On the go
On the grog - Can mean either intox
Australian.
On the hoist
On the hops
On the Indian list - In Canada it is illegal to sell alcohol to Indians from
any reserves or settlements. Said person is a hopeless d
to whom it i
1925.
- Debauching esp. for days on end.
dle
icated or habitually drunk.
- Late 1800s to early 1900s.
runkard, esp. one
s forbidden to sell liquor. Cf. "Eighty-six."

ch
-round
dle
e booze." Since the 1920s.
mp" here may be short for "rampage."
tain/ran-tan ? British, mid 1600s to 1800s;
t and tipsy.
/reeraw - British, mid 1800s.

/shikker - Yiddish, from Hebrew "shikor," drunk.
skyte/skite - On a terrific binge. From a Scottish schoolman's
On the jug
On the juice
On the kip
On the lee lur
On the loose
On the merry-go
On the mud
On the oil
On the ooze - Possibly from "On th
On the piss
On the pop
On the racket
On the ramble
On the ramp - "Ra
On the rampage
On the randan/ran-dan/ran
still heard in New Zealand.
On the rap - On a bou
On the razzle dazzle
On the re-raw
On the rocks
On the roof
On the sauce
On the scoop
On the scoot
On the scuttle
On the sentry
On the shicker
On the shout
On the
- 86 -

term.
On the spree
On the squiff
On the stun
On the sway
On the tank - Drinking beer. British army
On the tiles
On the town -
at least tipsy.
On the turps
On th
Ona
One and thirty - From the scoring o
of one-and-thirty. 1700s to
One brick short of a load
One is a happy camper
intoxicated customer.
One is qu
"happy."
One of the faithful - See "
- Australian, since circa 1925.
slang since circa 1890.
Because someone celebrating by going to bars often gets
e water cart
f full points in the old English game
1800s.
- In restaurant talk, a "happy camper" is an
ite the gay drunkard - Here "gay" has its original meaning of
Religious."
One over (the) eight - "Eight" means
"safe" amount of beer to consume.
British
1925.
One over the light
One over the odd
over the eight."
One sheet in the wind - Tips
"
eight pints or glasses, a supposed
army use, appeared in print by
s - Variant of "One
y. See
the wind Three sheets in ."
ian - See "On the
One too many
One too many under the belt
One's a regular Ind
Indian list."
One's a visiting fireman - Drunk and
boisterous, esp. when one is far from
home. Because firefighters once had a
reputation for getting intoxicated an
rowdy. Many groups of people have
well-earned reputations for g
drunk and out of control at
conventions - for example, recall the
Tailhook scandal of the early 1990s.
One's back teeth are afloat/floating - See "
d
etting
t Back teeth afloa ."
ith scamper-juice - Cowboy slang.
lled
One's crop is freighted w
One's elevator is sta
One's eyes are set
- 87 -

One's flag is out - See "Has one's flag out." British, 1800s.
the ship sheltered from the wind. Cf. "Half seas
One's hair hurts
One's head is full of bees
One's head is smoking
One's in the cellar
One's lee scuppers are under - A scupper is an opening in the side of a
ship at deck level to allow excess water to drain off. "Lee scuppers" are
the holes in the side of
over," "Decks awash."
ng red
ter's torn - "My tater's torn" means "I'm very drunk" in college
re floating - See "Back teeth afloat
One's nose is dirty
One's nose is getti
One's nose is red
One's system is down - From computer jargon.
One's ta
slang.
One's teeth a ."
e box
n of "Hoary-eyed
Oot ur
Oozy
Opens one's collar to piss
Organized - Possibly a corruptio ." Alternately, to
-eyed
"organize" means to intoxicate.
Orie-/Orry-eyed - Variation of either "Hoary " or "Gory-eyed."
ckney variant of "Hoary-eyed Oryide - Co ."
conscious by drinking. Or, just tipsy. British & US,
1700s.
ice cube
atcher's mitt on
attery
ttle
grape - Drunk on wine.
ion

attentive due to drunkenness.
Oscillated
Ossified - Turned to bone by liquor, "stoned."
O.U.I.L. - Operating Under the Influence of Liquor.
Out - Knocked un
since the
Out cold
Out colder than an ice box
Out colder than an
Out for the count
Out getting a head of bottles
Out in left field with a c
Out like a broken bulb
Out like a dead b
Out like a lamp
Out like a light
Out like an empty bo
Out like Lottie's eye
Out nibbling the
Out of altitudes
Out of commiss
Out of control
Out of funds
Out of it - In
- 88 -

Out of key
Out of kilter
Out of one's altitudes - Corruption of "In one's altitudes."
t
drunk
ee - Australian.
or a page
t is not squared on the sheet. Since the 1860s.
e
e
xplaining that her boss is not in his
ained on business
Out of one's bean
Out of one's elemen
Out of one's gourd
Out of one's head
Out of one's mind
Out of one's mind
Out of one's nut
Out of one's onion
Out of one's skull
Out of one's tr
Out of phase
Out of register - Walking crookedly. From the printing term f
with type tha
Out of sight
Out of the pictur
Out of the way
Out on the fuddl
Out on the roof
Out owl hooting
Out the game - Scottish slang
Out to it - Dead drunk. Australian, since the 1800s.
Out to lunch - Implies a secretary e
office. Cf. "Det ."
ee
Nautical, 1800s.
to "Loaded to the Plimsoll mark
Out your tr
Outasight
Over a barrel
Over one's cups
Over the bar -
Over the bat
Over the bay - Related ." British & US,
1800s.
- See "One over the eight
since the early
Over the edge
Over the eight ."
e mark - Derived from "Loaded to the Plimsoll mark
Over the limit
Over the line
Over th ." British,
hed
1800s.
Over the top
Over-excited
Over-indulged
Over-indulging
Over-refres
Over-tired
- 89 -

Overboard
Overcame/Overcome
Overcome
Overdone
Overdone the Dionysian rites
Overheated o
Overloaded
Overse

by drink
ne's flues - Cockney slang.
as - Half drunk. A pun on "Half seas over." British, since circa
omewhat inebriated. Late 1400s to 1600s.
ed
- Top-heavy. British, late 1800s.
00s to 1600s.
rhaps refers to a drunk's staring eyes. Cf. "Like an owl in an
1930.
Overseen - S
Overserv
Overset
Overshot
Oversparred
Overstuffed
Overtake/O'ertaken - 15
Overwined/Over-wined
Owes no man a farthing - Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Owled - Pe
ivy bush."
Owl-/Owly-eyed
Oxycrocium - Pronounced ox-ee-CROCK-ee-um. Possibly from
"oxycroceum," a plaster containing vinegar and saffron. If so, it may be
an elaboration of "Plastered." Noted by Benjamin Franklin.

P-S

efer to
g.

n
Pabbed
Packaged
Packing
Padded
Paddled May r
noisy imbibin
Pafisticated
Paid Probably refers to
people getting drunk o
payday. Cf. "Giffed."
British, s
Painted
Painted the town - I.e.,
painted the town red.
Paintin' one's nose
Drinking esp. whisky
crapulently. "Nose paint
ince circa 1635.


" is
- 90 -

whisky
Painting the town red
Pal-looral Glasgow slang, noted circa 1934.
Palatic/Pallatic From term for "relating to the palate," or a corruption
of "Paralytic." British, since circa 1885.
Palatio
Paled Completely exhausted by drinking, wasted. Canadian teen slang.
Paled out
Palled Totally drunk. From word for "sated." Late 1600s.
Para
Paralytic Very drunk. Australian, since circa 1910.
Paralyzed Heavily inebriated. From the effects of intoxicants. Since the
1890s.
Parboiled Probably an elaboration of "
or other strong drink.
Boiled."
Partying From drug slang.
Partying with no regard to one's personal safety
Passed
Passed out Sleeping due to drunkenness. Originated in the British
military circa 1910; US use since the mid 1900s.
Passed out cold
Passed out of the picture
Past going
Past gone
Pasted Cf. "Glued."
Pealaid
Peckish British, 1800s.
Pedo
Pee-eyed From P.I., the first two letters in "Pissed."
Pee'd Possibly a nicety for "Pissed."
Peekish
Pegged
Pegged out Probably from a slang term for "dead," which originated as
a cribbage term. Also, a "peg" is a dram of liquor, and to "peg" means to
consume intoxicants. Cf. the following.
Pegged too low To "peg too low" means to be depressed and in need of
stimulants. "Peg" is an old word for ale, from the pegs used to measure
half-pint drafts in a tankard. It seems odd that "pegged too low" should
mean "drunk" when "a peg too low" means "depressed," unless this term
refers to the peg going lower and lower in the tankard as people take
their share of drink.
Peonied
Pepped
Pepped up
Peppy
Pepst Origin unknown. From circa 1570.
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Perked British army, since WWI.
Perpetual drunk
Pertish Fairly drunk. British, circa 1760 to circa 1820.
Perved Having the perfect buzz, not totally drunk but pleasantly
inebriated. US college slang.
Petrificated
Petrified "Stoned."
Phazed/Phased From drug slang.
Phfft
Pickled Cf. "Soused." Since circa 1926.
Pickled one's debts
Pickled oneself
Pickled the mustard
Piddled A nicety for "Pissed."
Pie-eyed/Pye-eyed The origin of this term is uncertain, as drunkenness
causes the pupils to contract rather than dilate. Perhaps this term
comes, rather, from the inability of the eyes to focus. US, since the late
1800s.
Pied From "Pie-eyed."
Pied-eyed and shitfaced
Piffed
Pifficated Variation of "Pifflicated."
Piffle
Piffled Probably from "Pifflicated." Since the 1910s.
Pifflicated/Piflicated Very drunk. From "Spifflicated." US and
Bahamas, since the 1910s.
Pifted
Pigeon-eyed Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Pilfered
Pin drunk A "pin" is 4 gallons of liquid or the vessel holding it. Or, it
may be related to "Pegged" or "Pegged too low," since "pin" can mean the
peg used to measure half pints.
Pinked Tipsy.
Pinko Usu. means drunk on methylated spirits. British and Australian,
since circa 1925; may have started in the armed forces. Alternately, may
have been influenced by "Blotto" since blotting paper is often pink.
Pinning one on
Pious Cf. "Religious," "Preaching drunk."
Piped
Piped up
Piper drunk
Piper-fou See "Drunk as a fiddler," "Fou."
Piper merry
Pipped
Pipped-up
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Piran The British St. Piran, patron of tinners, supposedly died while
pickled.
Piscatorically drunk Drunk as a fish. Based on Latin "piscis," fish.
Pished Scottish variation of "Pissed."
Piss-completed
Pissant drunk
Pissed Very drunk. Primarily British, as are most terms that include
this word or a form of it. Was popular during the 1970s and 1980s, but
has fallen out of favor.
Pissed as a coot
Pissed as a cunt
Pissed as a fart
Pissed as a fiddler's bitch
Pissed as a newt Probably the most common elaboration of "Pissed."
Pissed as a parrot Australian.
Pissed as a piard Used by the RAF in Iraq, 1920 to 1945.
Pissed as a pig
Pissed as a rat Cf. "Drunk as a drowned rat."
Pissed as a skunk
Pissed as arseholes Very drunk. Dates back to at least the 1400s.
Pissed in the brook Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Pissed out of one's mind
Pissed out of one's tiny mind
Pissed to the ears
Pissed to the earlobes
Pissed to the eyeballs
Pissed to the eyes
Pissed to the gills
Pissed-up Very drunk. A "piss-up" is a bender. British wartime.
Pissed up to the eyebrows British military.
Pissing
Pissing drunk Heavily intoxicated. British, 1800s.
Pissy drunk
Pissing fou
Pissy Because heavy drinking leads to frequent urination. Or, from
"Pissed." Bahamian slang.
Pissy-arsed Indicates that one has a tendency to get drunk. British.
Pissy-drunk
Pissy eyed
Pistol shot Elaboration of "Shot." A "pistol shot" is a drink of spirits.
Piston broke Drunk and penniless. Pun on "pissed and broke."
Pistorically drunk Variant of "Piscatorically drunk."
Pitching a leave US army slang.
Pitted
Pixilated/Pixillated/Pixolated Silly from drink. From a word for "daffy,"
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means enchanted by pixies. Alternately, "pixy-led" plus "intoxicated," or a
variation of "impixlocated." US, mid 1800s.
Pixy-laden
Pixy led
Pizz Shortening of "Pizzicato"
Pizzicato Tipsy. Partial disguise of "Pissed." British, since circa 1930.
Placated
Plain drunk
Plain old drunk
Planted
Plastered Because the smell of intoxicants sticks to one, or from the
immobility of a limb in a plaster cast. Also, to "plaster" a game bird
means to blow it to pieces. May have military origins.
Plated
Played out
Playing camel(s) Drinking to find out how much booze one can hold.
From the fact that camels drink huge amounts of water at a time.
Playing the Greek
Playing the harp Drunk and getting home by the railings. Irish.
Pleasantly intoxicated
Pleasantly jingled
Pleasantly plastered
Plenty drunk
Plonk Cf. next term.
Plonked Done in by "plonk," cheap or hard liquor, or white wine.
Derived from French "vin blanc," white wine. Originally Australian, since
WWII.
Plonked up
Plootered Tipsy. From "plouter," Anglo-Irish to splash or wade in water
or mire.
Potched
Plotzed Possibly from Yiddish "plotzen," from German "platzen," "split"
or "burst."
Plowed/Ploughed British & US, since the 1800s.
Plowed over
Plowed/Ploughed under
Ploxed
Plucked
Plumb drunk
Plumb numb Unconscious. Cowboy slang.
Pocito
Poddy Tipsy. Cf. "Pogy." British & US, mid 1800s to early 1900s.
Podgy
Poegaai/Poegah/Poegai Pronounced poe-khai. South African slang,
from Dutch "poechai" for "fuss" or "bother." Possibly from the same
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source as "Pogy."
Poffered
Poggled Madly drunk. Cf. "Puggled." British army, since the late 1800s.
Pogy/Pogey/Pogie Probably originally cant. "Pogy!" or "pogeyaqua!"
(means "little water") means "Make the grog strong!" British & US, since
the 1800s.
Poisoned Probably from the phrase "Name your poison."
Polished
Polished up
Polite
Polled-off Possibly from "poll" for "head." British, 1800s.
Polluted Extremely drunk. Possibly a reference to the impure condition
of the bloodstream. Cf. "Laced."
Pooped From nautical term for a sailor who has been knocked down by
a wave coming over the stern.
Pooped out
Pooped up
Poopied
Popeyed/Pop-eyed
Popped
Possessed
Pot
Pot-eyed
Pot-hardy
Pot-shaken
Pot-shot A pun on the term "pot shot," a shot at game
to provide something for the dinner pot. Cf. "Cup-shot."
British, 1800s.
Pot-sick Sinc
Pot-sure Courageous from imbibing spirits. Cf. "
e the late 1500s.
Full of Dutch courage."
British, 1600s.
Pot-valiant/Potvaliant Since the early 1600s.
Pot-valorous
Pot-walloped
Potated Probably from "potation."
Potched
Pots on
Potsed
Potsville
Potted A "pot" is a flagon, more specifically, a quart measure; or a
drunkard. To "pot" is to drink spirits.
Potted off
Potted up
Potty
Potulent Since the mid 1600s.
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Powdered Underworld slang. "Powder" is a drink of liquor.
Powdered ones hair Euphemism coined by a polite landlord. Originated
in the days when men wore elaborate wigs, which were usually
powdered. To "powder ones hair" means to get drunk in tavern slang.
Powdered up
Practically down
Praying to the porcelain god Vomiting from intoxication.
Preaching drunk Almost drunk.
Preserved Variation of "Pickled."
Prestoned After a brand of antifreeze. See "Antifreezed."
Pretty drunk
Pretty far gone
Pretty happy
Pretty high
Pretty silly
Pretty well enter'd
Pretty well intoxicated
Pretty well organized
Pretty well over
Pretty well plowed
Pretty well primed
Pretty well slacked
Pretty well started
Priddy
Primed Ready to "explode into action." British & US, since the 1800s.
Primed to the ears
Primed to the muzzle
Primed to the nuts
Primed to the sticking point
Primed to the trigger
Primed up
Pruned From "prune juice," strong liquor, or because one feels like a
tree that has been pruned.
Psatzed
Psyched out
Puggled Madly drunk. "Puggle pawnee" is British army slang for rum,
from Hindi "pagal pani" meaning "mad water." British army use.
Puggy
Puggy drunk
Pulled a Daniel Boone
Pulled a shut-eye
Pulled the drunk act
Punch aboard
Punch drunk Drunk on punch, dazed by drink, or dead drunk. From
boxing term for when a pugilist becomes eccentric after suffering too
many blows. Reinforced by "punch" as in alcoholic beverage.
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Punchy From either "Punch drunk" or from alcoholic punch.
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Pungy/Pungey Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Pushed From the tendency to fall. British, late 1800s to early 1900s.
Pushed out
Pushing about the bottle Nautical, late 1700s to late 1800s.
Put a full cargo aboard Cf. "Loaded."
Put down Dates to at least the 1500s. Appears in Shakespeare's Twelfth
Night.
Put in the pin
Put on the drunk act
Put to bed with a shovel Extremely drunk. Phrase means "dead and
buried"; thus, the allusion is to the internment of a corpse. Refers to one
who is so drunk that one needs assistance in getting to bed.
Putrid
Puttin' on the rollers Cowboy slang.
Putting it away
Putting one on


Quadded
Quaffed
Quaked
Quarrelsome
Quartzed
Queer Because one who is drunk usu. behaves eccentrically.
Queer in the attic Refers to the bizarre behavior caused by drinking.
"Attic" is British slang for the mind.
Queered Tipsy. British, early to mid 1800s.
Quenched
Quick-tempered Cf. "Fighting drunk," "In armor."
Quilted
Quisby From mid 1800s term for "out of whack." British, 1800s.
Quite gone
Quite high
Quoxed


Racked Possibly from term for
"tired."
Racked up
Raddled Reddened by drink.
"Raddle" is red ochre. Also, to
"raddle" is to do anything to
excess. 1600s to 1700s.
Ragged US, since the 1700s.
Raised
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Raised one's monuments
Rallying Acting drunkenly.
Ramaged/Rammaged From 1400s Scottish term for "frenzied." Since
the late 1700s.
Rampaging Very drunk.
Ramping mad Drunk and angry. British, mid 1800s.
Rat-arsed/Ratarsed British teen slang of the 1980s.
Rat-assed
Rather high
Rather touched
Rats in the attic From "Has rats in the attic."
Ratted British society use.
Rattled Heavily intoxicated, having impaired senses. Since the mid
1800s.
Ratty
Ratty as a jaybird
Raughty Variation of "Rorty."
Raunchy/Ronchie Originally meant sloppy, and from this meaning
came to mean "drunk."
Razzle-dazzle
Razzle-dazzled
Reached a hundred proof "Proof" is the measure of the percentage of
alcohol in potent potables. 100 proof means 50% alcohol, so this may
mean half drunk.
Reading Geneva print From a pun on "Geneva" and French genivre,
juniper berry.
Ready
Ready to pass out
Real drunk
Real mellow
Real tipsy
Real turned on Beatnik talk.
Really
Really clobbered
Really feeling one's drinks Very drunk.
Really gassed
Really got/had a load
Really high
Really lit
Really lit up
Really saturated
Really soused
Really tied one on
Red about the gills
Red-eyed
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Red lighted
Redirected
Reeking Stinking drunk.
Reeling
Reeling and kneeling
Reeling ripe British & later US, since the 1600s.
Reeling 'round like a puppy tryin' to find a soft spot to lie down
Cowboy slang.
Reely Rare term for tipsy. British, since circa 1933.
Relaxed
Relaxing
Religious Because one is faithful in attending a particular tavern. "One
of the faithful" is a souse who always shows up at the same place. Noted
by Benjamin Franklin.
Remembering Parson Mellham Drinking about. Norfolk phrase, from
the cry "Remember Parson Mellham!" (sometimes rendered as Parson
Mullam), meaning "Pray drink about, sir."
Re-raw/Ree-raw From "On the re-raw."
Revved up Mildly drunk.
Rich
Riding out of town with nothing but a head
Riding the porcelain bus
Riffed
Right
Right before the wind with all studding sails out
Right before the wind with all the/one's studding sails out Noted by
Benjamin Franklin.
Right down and out
Right royal
Right up there with the best of them
Righteous
Rigid Passed-out drunk.
Rileyed
Rip-roaring drunk Drunk and boisterous.
Ripe Ready to fall; may refer to a ripe fruit ready to drop off a tree.
Since the 1600s.
Ripped Extremely inebriated. May have originated in drug culture.
Ripped and wrecked
Ripped off
Ripped to the tits
Ripped up
Ripskated
Road hugging
Roaring Short for "Roaring drunk."
Roaring drunk Noisily intoxicated, drunk and boisterous.
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Roaring fou
Roasted
Rockaputzered
Rocked
Rocky From instability and "rocking" of drunk. Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
Rolled off the sofa
Rolling
Rolling drunk
Rooked
Roostered Cf. "Cocked." US euphemism.
Roostered up Cowboy slang.
Rooted Possibly from Australian slang for "exhausted" or "out of
action."
Roped
Rorty Noisy and argumentative from drunkenness. A "rort" is a wild
party in Australian slang. Naval.
Rosined "Rosin" is old slang for the liquor given to musicians who play
at a party. Cf. "Drunk as a fiddler." Primarily US use, since the 1700s.
Rosy/Rosie/Rosey Tipsy, reddened by drink. Since the late 1800s.
Rosy about the gills "Rosy" plus "Up to the gills."
Rotten Widespread since the 1800s.
Rotten drunk
Rough about the edges
Round as a glass
Round the bend
Royal British, early 1800s.
Royally drunk
Royally plastered
Rubber - Scottish slang
Ruined Possibly from "mother's ruin," English slang for gin. Or, may
come from drug slang. British teen use.
Rulling drunk Variation of "Rolling drunk."
Rum-dum(b)
Rummed
Rummed rye
Rummed up
Rummied
Rummy
Rung one up
Running amok/amuck
Running drink
Rushing the growler In the 19
th
century, due to the lack of
refrigeration, it was common practice to send children to a local saloon
to fetch beer in a pail or pitcher, which was called a "growler." Since
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these children were often in a hurry, they were said to be "rushing the
- 102 -

growler." Today, to "rush the growler" means to drink heavily.
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Rye-soaked


Salt Short for "Salt junk." Late 1800s to early 1900s.
Salt junk Rhyming slang for "drunk." Cf. "Elephants trunk." British,
late 1800s to early 1900s.
Salted/Saulted Since the late 1800s; rare since circa 1931.
Salted down
Salubrious From drinking "healths" to others. British, since the 1870s.
Sank like a brick
Sank like a rock
Sank like a stone
Sap-happy Patterned on "slap-happy." "Sap" is booze.
Sapped
Sappy
Saturated Heavily inebriated. Description of the bloodstream.
Sauced
Saw Montezuma
Sawed
Scammered Possibly from "scammer," to climb or scramble. Since the
1840s.
Schice
Schicker/Schikker/Shicker/Shikker From Yiddish, from Hebrew
"shikor." "Shicker" is Australian slang for strong drink, or to drink
heavily, or to get drunk. British army use, esp. the latter two spellings.
Schizzed Pronounced "skizzed." Because drunkenness supposedly
causes schizophrenia.
Schizzed out
Schlockered
Schloggered
Schlonkered
Schmidt-faced - Nicety for "shit-faced."
Schnapped Probably from schnapps. US, since the mid 1800s.
Schnockered/Schnokkered/Shnockered
Schnoggered
Schnozzled too deeply
Schwacked
Scoop
Scooped
Scorched
Scotch mist Rhyming slang
for "Pissed." A Scotch mist is a
heavy, soaking rain enough to
wet an Englishman to the
skin. British, since the 1920s.
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Scragged Probably from cant for "dead."
Scrambled
Scranched Variant of "Scraunched."
Scratched From cant. Since the early 1600s.
Scraunched/Scronched
Screaming Drunk and quarrelsome. Also, a "screamer" is a party
animal, and a "two-pot screamer" is someone who gets drunk on very
little booze.
Screaming drunk
Screechers Shortening of "Harry Screechers."
Screeching
Screeching drunk
Screwed May be a pun on "Tight." Chiefly British, since the 1840s.
Screwed, blued and tattooed Very drunk. From term for "badly
cheated." Because targets for forcible enlistment in the navy were gotten
drunk and carried off, and woke up in Shanghai (hence the verb
"shanghai").
Screwed, stewed and tattooed Variant of the above. Nautical slang.
Screwed tight
Screwy/Scruey From this words sense of "crazy or from "Screwed."
British, since the early 1800s.
Scrooched
Scrooched up
Scrooped
Scudded
Scuppered
Seafaring
Seasick
Seasoned
Second hand drunk Intoxicated from the breath of a drunk. Humorous.
Cf. "Sniffed the barmaids apron."
Seeing a flock of moons
Seeing bats
Seeing bears
Seeing by twos
Seeing double Since the early 1600s.
Seeing double and feeling single
Seeing elephants
Seeing one-a-piece
Seeing pink elephants
Seeing pink spiders
Seeing rats
Seeing snakes Suffering delirium tremens. Since the 1800s.
Seeing the bears
Seeing the devil 1700s to 1800s.
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Seeing the elephants
Seeing the French king
Seeing the snakes
Seeing the yellow star
Seeing-things drunk
Seeing things that aint in natural history Cowboy slang.
Seeing things that arent there
Seeing triple
Seeing two moons Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Seeking the comfort of Lyaeus Getting drunk on wine. "Lyaeus," "the
freer," is an epithet of Bacchus.
Seen a ghost
Seen one out Has out-drunk said person, has drunk someone under the
table. Cf. "Drunk as a lord," "Made a bridge of ones nose."
Seen the devil
Seen the governor "Seein the governor" is Toronto slang for drinking
rum.
Seen the sun
Segud
Selling Buicks Vomiting due to alcohol consumption. US college use.
Semi-bousy/Seimbousy From the 1400s.
Sent In an altered state of consciousness.
Served
Served-up
Set up To "set 'em up and pour 'em down" means to drink
intemperately.
Seven sheets to the wind See "Three sheets in the wind."
Several slugs behind the midriff A "slug" can mean a drink, so this
phrase has two meanings.
Sewed
Sewed/Sewn up Exhausted or sick from intoxication. The imagery is of
a corpse sewn up in canvas before burial. Since circa 1818.
Sewed up with booze
S.F. Shit-faced.
S.F.'ed
Shagged
Shaggy
Shaking a cloth in the wind
Shaky The "shakes" is an attack of trembling due to drunkenness.
Shammered US college slang.
Shattered
Shaved A "shave" is a drink. Possibly from the excuse of going out for
a shave when one is really going out for a drink. Since the late 1500s.
She had cider inside her insides
She has been a good wife to him Said of a woman rolling drunk in the
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streets.
Sheep drunk
Sheet and a half in/into the wind See "Three sheets in the wind."
Sheet in the wind See "Three sheets in the wind."
Sheet in the wind's eye
Shellacked Very drunk. From ones glazed-over appearance. Since the
1920s.
Shellacked the goldfish bowl
Sherbetty/Sherbety "Sherbet" is a glass of warm liquor. British, since
the late 1800s.
Shews ones hobnails Drunk and lying on the floor.
Shice/Shise/Schise Possibly from Yiddish term for "no good." British.
Shicer/Shiser Cf. above term. British.
Shicery
Shick Australian.
Shicked Possibly from "Schicker." US and Australian, since the mid
1800s.
Shickered/Shikkered Australian. See "Schicker."
Shickery/Shikkery Variation of "Shicked." From the late 1800s;
obsolete by circa 1935.
Shifassed Partial disguise of "Shit faced."
Shikkur Hebrew.
Shined
Shined up
Shiny Lightly intoxicated.
Shiny drunk
Shinny
Shipwrecked British naval.
Shit faced/Shitfaced/Shit-faced Possibly from "Shitface drunk."
Shitface drunk A "shitface" is a drunken party.
Shithoused
Shitty
Shoe pinches one Gives an explanation for ones staggering gait. Noted
by Benjamin Franklin.
Shoed the goose
Shooting the cat Vomiting from intoxication. Cf. "Whipcat."
Shorty
Shot Shortening of "Shot
in the neck." This term and
all its derivatives are
reinforced by "shot" as in a
quick drink of booze. Since
the 1870s.
Shot away British, 1800s.
Shot down
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Shot full of holes Heavily drunken. Originated in New Zealand circa
1915, spread to Australia by 1918, widespread since the 1940s.
Shot in the arm
Shot in the ass
Shot in the head
Shot in the mouth
Shot in the neck Since the 1800s.
Shot in the wrist
Shot the cat
Shot to ribbons Very drunk. RAF since circa 1939.
Shot under the wing See "Hit under the wing."
Shot up
Shouting oneself hoarse A "shout" is a general invitation to drink, so to
"shout oneself hoarse" is to get soused.
Showing drink
Showing it
Showing one's booze
Showing one's drink(s)
Showing one's hobnails
Showing one's tipsiness
Shredded
Shucked US college use. Usu. refers to marijuana, but applicable to
booze.
Sick
Sighting the yellow star
Silly
Silly drunk
Simply stinko
Singed
Sinking like a rock
Sir Richard has taken off one's considering cap Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
Six sails in the wind - Variation of "Six sheets in the wind." Probably
coined by landlubbers who thought "sheets" mean the sails rather than
the ropes that bind them.
Six sheets in the wind See "Three sheets in the wind."
Sizzled
Skated
Skating Exhilarated. May have originated as a drug term. Since circa
1955.
Skeerewy
Skew-whiff Means "crooked," so may refer to a drunks leaning or
staggering gait.
Skimished Derived from "Ishkimmish." Also, "skimmish" is vagrant
slang for beer.
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Skinful Cf. "Borracho."
Skizzled
Skrilla US college slang.
Skulled
Skunk drunk See "Drunk as a skunk." Probably reinforced by
"Stinking drunk."
Skunked Very drunk, "stinking" drunk.
Skunky
Slambasted - "Slam(med)" plus "Lambasted."
Slammed
Slanted
Slap drunk
Slap-happy
Slathered Smothered in alcohol. Australian & US.
Slaughtered
Sleazy
Sleepy
Sleeve-button
Slewed/Slued Off balance. To "slew" means to swing around or veer.
British nautical, since the 1840s.
Slewed in ones hammock
Slewy
Slick
Slickered
Slightly buzzed
Slightly clobbered
Slightly damaged
Slightly damp
Slightly draped US army slang.
Slightly drunk
Slightly elevated
Slightly high
Slightly looped
Slightly rattled
Slightly tightly Slightly tipsy, not all-out drunk. British, late 1800s to
early 1900s.
Slightly under
Slightly woozy
Slippery
Slipping
Slobbered
Slopped From general sloppiness of appearance, speech, movement, etc.
Also, suggests liquid slopping out of an overfull glass.
Slopped over
Slopped to the ears
Slopped to the gills
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Slopped up
Slopping up
Sloppy
Sloppy drunk Since the late 1800s.
Sloshed
Sloshed to the ears
Sloud
Sloughed
Sloughed up
Slug-nutty A relative of "Punch drunk." Reinforced by "slug" as in a
drink or swallow of spirits.
Slugged Cf. "Several slugs behind the midriff."
Slugger
Sluicing ones/the bolt
Sluicing ones/the dominoes Here "dominoes" are ones teeth.
Sluicing ones/the gob
Sluicing ones/the ivories
Sluicing the worries
Slurks
Slushed
Slushed up
Smashed Very drunk. To "smash a brandy peg" means to take a drink.
"Smash" is brandy (any potent potable in the US) and water.
Smashed out of ones mind
Smashed to the gills
Smeared
Smeekit Originally Scottish, may mean "smoked." British, 1800s.
Smelled the big cork
Smelling of liquor
Smelling of the cork
Smells like a still
Smells like a tap-room Appears in the writings of Anton Chekhov.
Smelt of an onion Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Smitten by the grape
Smockered
Smoked
Smuckered
Smurfed up - Possibly an allusion to the blues or "blue devils," since
Smurfs are blue
Snabble-d-dabbled
Snacked
Snackered
SNAFU From the military acronym for "Situation Normal, All Fucked
Up."
Snake-bitten "Snake poison" or "snake juice" is liquor, esp. bad whisky.
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Snapped/Snapt Possibly a variation of "Schnapped."
Snarfed
Snazzled
Snerred
Sniffed the barmaids apron One who "sniffs the barmaids apron" is
one who gets drunk easily.
Sniffy To "sniff" means to drink strong booze.
Sniggled
Snockered/Snokkered From term for "sock" or "knock," or possibly
from British dialect "snock," meaning a blow.
Snockered to the gills
Shockered/Snokkered up
Snoggered
Snonkered
Snookered
Snooted
Snootered
Snootful/Snootfull
Snoozamarooed
Snoozed
Snot-flinging drunk
Snotted
Snowed
Snozzle-wobbles
Snozzled
Snubbed
Snuffy Tipsy. Possibly from this words meaning of "displeased." British
& US, since the 1820s.
Snug Comfortable. Many English inns have a "snug bar," also called a
"snug."
So From "So-so." British euphemism, since circa 1820.
So-so Unwell. Cf. "Ill," "Under the weather." Since the early 1800s.
Soaked Very inebriated. Since
the 1700s.
Soaked in rye
Soaked it up
Soaked ones face
Soaked to the gills
Soaked up
Soaken
Soako
Soapy-eyed
Sobbed Cf. "Crying drunk,"
"Maudlin."
Sober as a judge on Friday
- 111 -

Slightly tipsy. Because a judges work week ends on Friday. Patterned on
the phrase "Sober as a judge."
Soberly challenged - Mock politically correct term.
Socked
Sodden
Sodden drunk
Soft
Soggy
Sold ones senses
Some-drunk
Somebody stole ones rudder
Someone blew out ones pilot light Said person has lost all direction. US
college use.
Soogeying the bulkhead To "soogey" means to scrub. Nautical.
Sopped
Sopping
Sopping wet
Soppy
Sore footed Cf. "Shoe pinches one," "Walking on rocky socks."
Soshed
Sossled/Sosseled From "Sozzled."
Sot drunk
Sotally tober
Sotted
Sotted in the main brace See "Has spliced the main brace."
Sotted up
Sottish
Sotto
Souffld
Soul in soak Literally, soaking drunk. See "A soul." Nautical.
Souple
Soupy Sick from drinking. British, late 1800s to early 1900s.
Soused/Soust To "souse" is to drink to the point of intoxication.
Extension of "souse," pickling brine or some thing pickled. Since the mid
1800s.
Soused to the ears
Soused to the gills
Southern-fried Elaboration of "Fried."
Sow drunk Cf. "Drunk as Davids sow." British, 1800s.
Sozzled Splashed. "Sozzle" means to mix or render moist in a sloppy
manner. Since the late 1800s.
Sozzly
Spaced Probably originated as drug slang.
Spaced out Because drunks are often dazed or incoherent.
Spacy/Spacey
- 112 -

Spak Pidgin.
Spanked
Sparked
Sparred
Speared
Speechless Very drunk. British, since the late 1800s.
Spiffed From either "Skew-whiff" or "Squiffed." Originally Scottish, has
spread since the 1800s.
Spifficated
Spiffilo
Spiffled
Spifflicated/Spiflicated Since the late 1700s.
Spifflo
Spiked From this words sense of "containing alcohol."
Spinning on the merry-go-round of cocktails
Spirited A reference to "spirits" as in potent potables.
Spitting feathers From the dryness of the mouth.
Splashed
Spliced Possibly from "Has spliced the main brace."
Splifficated
Spliffo
Sploshed
Spoiled
Spoiling
Spoken with ones friend
Sponge-eyed
Sponge-headed
Spoony
Spoony drunk Drunk and melancholy or sentimental. 1800s.
Spotty
Spreed
Spreed up
Spreeish
Sprinkled Cf. "Dagged."
Sprung Slightly drunk. From term for a ship that has sprung a leak
but is not sinking. British & US, since circa 1825.
Squamed
Squared
Squashed Very drunk.
Squiffed Possibly from "Squiffy." British & US, since the late 1800s.
Squiffed out
Squiffy May mean uneven or lopsided. Possibly from "Skew-whiff."
British & US, since the 1870s.
Squiffy-eyed British, late 1800s.
Squirrely
- 113 -

Squished
Staggered by firewater
Staggering
Staggering around
Staggering drunk
Staggerish
Staggers
Staggery
Stale
Stale drunk Intoxicated from the night before, or getting drunk again
before one has recovered entirely from inebriation. Since the 1860s.
Standing too long in the sun Cf. "Has the sun in ones eyes." British.
Starched Cf. "Glued," "Stiff."
Starchery
Starchy British, since the 1870s.
Stark drunk
Stark raving drunk
Starting to feel good
Starting to feel pretty good
Starting to feel rosy
Starting to get lit up
Starting to glow
Starting to show ones drink
Starting to spoil US army slang.
Staying late at the office The idea is that a businessman is telling his
wife he will be working late when in fact he is having drinks with his
office buddies. Cf. "Detained on business."
Steamboats - Relatively recent derivation from "Steaming." Used in
Scotland.
Steamed - Scottish slang
Steamed up Fighting drunk.
Steaming
Steeped
Stepping high
Stew
Stewed Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Stewed as a fresh boiled owl See "Drunk as a boiled owl."
Stewed as a prune
Stewed like a prune
Stewed, screwed and tattooed See "Screwed, blued and tattooed."
Nautical.
Stewed to the ears
Stewed to the eyebrows Since the 1700s.
Stewed to the gills
Stewed up
- 114 -

Stibbed
Sticked "Stick" is potent potable added to another drink.
Stiff Passed out cold, or because one feels and/or looks like a corpse.
Since the early 1700s.
Stiff as a board
Stiff as a carp
Stiff as a goat
Stiff as a plank
Stiff as a ramrod
Stiff as a ringbolt
Stiffed
Stimulated
Stingoed From British "stingo," strong ale.
Stinkarooed
Stinking Very drunk.
Stinking drunk Patterned on "stinking rich" rather than the stink of
alcohol.
Stinko
Stinko paralytico
Stinko profundo
Stinky
Stitched Cf. "Sewed up." Since the early 1700s.
Stocked up
Stoked
Stole a Manchet/roll out of the brewers basket
"Manchet" is an archaic word for a wheat loaf
Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Stolled British, possibly a form of "stolen," or
from "stoll," to tipple. 1800s.
Stolling
Stone blind
Stone cold drunk Suggests "dead drunk."
Stone drunk
Stoned
Stoned getting those grapes - Drunk on wine Stoned on the suds
Stoned out Cool talk since the 1940s.
Stoned out of ones mind
Stoned to a tilt Appears in Bernard Wolfs story "The Girl with the
Rapid Eye Movements." Apparently refers to marijuana, but since
"Stoned" can mean intoxicated with alcohol, presumably this phrase
could mean "drunk" as well.
Stoned to the eyes As drunk as one can be.
Stoned to the gills
Stoned to the tits
Stonkered Out of action. Military use.
.
- 115 -

Stony/Stoney blind British variant of "Stone blind."
Stotious
Stove in
Stozzled
Street-loaded
Stretched Very drunk.
Striking it down Nautical.
Striped
Strong
Strung-out Possibly from drug slang. Since the 1950s.
Stubbed Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Stuccoed Elaboration of "Plastered."
Studding sails out
Stuffed Cf. "Full."
Stumble-drunk
Stung
Stunked
Stunko
Stunned
Stupefied
Stupid Very drunk. Widespread since the 1800s.
Stupid legged
Subtle as a fox
Sucked "Suck" is wine or strong liquor, or a drink of spirits. British,
1800s.
Sucked the monkey In the lingo of sailors, the "monkey" was the cask
that contained their liquor. To "suck the monkey" was to drink from this
cask clandestinely with a straw through a small hole. Another method of
sneaking a drink was to empty a coconut of its milk and refill it with
booze. Today one can "suck the monkey" from any container. Dates from
the 1800s. Cf. "Tapped the Admiral."
Sucky/Suckey British, 1600s to 1700s.
Suffering a swollen head
Suffing from M.B. See "M.B."
Suffering from the flu Cf. "Ill," "Under the weather."
Suffering no pain
Sun has been hot today Because, in Britain, a reaper might take some
cider with him while working in the fields, and get drunker and drunker
as he sought to slake his thirst.
Sun in the eyes See "Has the sun in ones eyes." British & US, since the
1800s.
Sun over the fore-yard
Sunk
Sunk like a brick
Supercharged British & US, esp. aeronautical engineers, since circa
- 116 -

1926.
Sure feeling good
Sure nuff drunk
Sure petrified
Sure tied one on
Surveying the highways A "surveyor of the highways" is someone who
is reeling or rolling drunk.
Suttle
Swacked
Swacked up
Swacko
Swallowed a hare Very drunk. Either because the hare (hair?) needs
washing down, or because its jumping causes instability. British, late
1700s.
Swallowed a sailor Drunk on rum. Port and harbor use.
Swallowed a tavern token Late 1500s to 1700s.
Swamped/Swampt Sunk by too much liquid. Since the early 1700s.
Swatched Possibly from a Warwickshire term for a woman who is
sloppily dressed. British, since the 1950s.
Swatted
Swattled British & US, since the 1800s.
Swazzled/Swozzled Since the 1800s.
Sweet Caribbean.
Swerved US college slang.
Swigged
Swiggled
Swilliking - Said of a man who drinks till the liquor can be heard
"swilking" around in his stomach. Appears in Francis Taylor's Folk-
Speech of South Lancashire. In use up to at least 1901.
Swilled Since the 1800s.
Swilled up
Swillo
Swine-drunk Heavily inebriated. Since the late 1500s.
Swined
Swinnied
Swinny Dizzy, giddy. British, late 1800s.
Swiny/Swiney
Swiped Since the 1800s.
Swipy/Swipey Tipsy. British, from circa 1844; rare by 1900.
Switched
Switched-on
Switchy
Swiveled
Swively From the movement of a swivel. British & US, from the 1850s;
now rare.
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Swizzled Since the mid 1800s.
Swizzly
Swoozled
Swozzled Since the mid 1800s.


T-Z
Tacked
Tacky Sticky from booze.
Taken a Buford bait Originally this phrase meant to take a drink.
Since at least the early 1800s;
possibly goes as far back as
the late 170
Taken a chirruping glass
Taken a cup too much
Taken a drop too much
Taken a glass too much
Taken a segue
Taken a shard/shourd Tipsy.
British, 1800s.
Taken in some O-Be-Joyful
Taken more than one can hold
Taken one over the eight See
"
0s.
One over the eight."
Taken ones drops
Taken too much Euphemistic.
Taking a trip
Taking it easy Tipsy. Late
1800s to early 1900s.
Taking in/on cargo 1800s.
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Taking on a load
Taking on fuel Getting drunk, drinking alcohol to excess.
Taking ones broth Nautical, mid 1700s to mid 1800s.
Taking ones drops Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Taking ones medicine
Talking load
Talking loud
Talking to Jamie Moore
Talking to Jim Beam From a whisky brand name.
Tangle-leg "Tangle-leg" is the rough, sometimes deadly whisky of the
Old West. From its affect on ones ability to walk.
Tangled
Tangled-legged
Tanglefooted
Tanglelegged
Tank up Very drunk. Bahamian slang.
Tanked In British army slang, "tank" once meant "canteen" as in an
eating place for soldiers. Since the late 1800s.
Tanked out
Tanked to the wide Cf. "Dead to the wide."
Tanked up
Tanking up
Tanky
Tanned
Tap-shackled Chained to a keg of liquor.
Taplash wretched
Tapped
Tapped out
Tapped the Admiral From the phrase "Hed tap the Admiral," meaning
that one would do anything for a drink of spirits. Stems from the legend
that Lord Nelsons body was preserved in rum. Today, to "tap the
Admiral" means to have a nip of potent potable, usually on the sly.
"Nelsons blood" is Navy slang for rum. Cf. "Sucked the monkey."
Tatered
Tattooed Cf. "Screwed, blued and tattooed."
Taverned
Tavern bitch has bitten one on/in the head Popular prints of tavern
scenes from the 1600s to the 1800s often show a dog among the taverns
patrons. Thus, means that one has fallen onto the floor, where it is
possible to get bitten on the head. Since circa 1608.
Taverned Dates back possibly as far as the 1300s. British.
Tead/Teed From "tea," whisky. Since the 1920s.
Tead/Teaed/Teed up
Tearing up
Teched
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Ted
Teed to the tits
Teeth are floating - See quot;Back teeth afloat."
Teeth under Cf. "Back teeth afloat."
Temulent From "temulency" or "temulence," intoxication. Root word is
Latin "temulentus" for "intoxicated."
Temulentious
Temulentive
That way
Thawed From the dripping of melted ice. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
The bloody flag is out
The flag of defiance is out
The king is ones cousin Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
The malt is above the water Cf. "Malt above the meal." Noted by
Benjamin Franklin.
The malt is above the wheat with one Mid 1500s to early 1800s.
The morning after
The sun has shone on them
The worse Shortening of "The worse for drink."
The worse for drink
The worse for liquor
The worse for wear
There Possibly from one of the following three phrases, or from
"Getting there."
There with both feet To "get there with both feet" is to be very
successful. Perhaps this means that one has been very successful at
getting fried.
There with the goods
There with what it takes
Thick-headed
Thick-legged
Thick-lipped Refers to difficulty with speech.
Thick-tongued
Thirsty
Thoroughly drunk
Thoroughly intoxicated
Thrashed
Three bricks short of a load
Three parts five-eighths Variation of following term.
Three parts seven-eighths Nautical. Possibly from "Three sheets in the
wind."
Three sheets Short for "Three sheets in the wind."
Three sheets in the shade
Three sheets in/to the wind Totally drunk. A "sheet" is a rope holding a
sail in place. A "sheet in (or to) the wind" is such a rope that has come
- 120 -

loose. To "have a sheet in the wind" is common nautical slang for to be
drunk, so "three sheets in the wind" means very drunk indeed. Originally
British, since the 1820s.
Three sheets in the wind and one flapping
Three sheets in the wind and the other one flapping
Three sheets in the winds eye
Throwed off
Throwing a wing-ding
Thrown away the cork
Thrown down
Thumped over the head with Sampsons jawbone
Tickeyboo
Tiddled Slightly drunk. British.
Tiddly/Tiddley Tipsy. From "tiddlywink," rhyming slang for "drink" and
meaning liquor, or slang for an unlicensed tavern. Since the late 1800s.
Tiddy
Tied a bag on "Bag" is nautical slang for a pot of beer.
Tied on the bear
Tied one on
Tied the bag on
Tiffed
Tiffled
Tight/Tite Full enough to burst; or reasonably, but not excessively,
drunk. Since the 1850s.
Tight as a boiled owl
Tight as a brassiere
Tight as a D-cup tit in an A-cup bra
Tight as a drum Heavily inebriated.
Tight as a duck's ass/arse
Tight as a fart Refers to the tension to avoid farting. British, since
circa 1925.
Tight as a goat "Tight" plus "stinking (drunk) as a goat."
Tight as a lord
Tight as a mink
Tight as a newt May imply that one is "water-tight." Cf.
"Pissed as a newt." Mainly military use.
Tight as a rat
Tight as a Scotsman
Tight as a ten-day drunk Very drunk.
Tight as a tick Tight as a tick attached to its victim. Cf.
"Full as a tick."
Tight as an owl From "Drunk as an owl."
Tight as Andronicus
Tight as Dicks hatband/hat band
Tight as the bark on a tree Very drunk.
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Tight up Bahamian slang.
Tight-lipped
Tight-wadded
Tighter than a drum
Tighter than a goat
Tighter than a mink
Tighter than a new boot
Tighter than a Scotsman
Tighter than a tick
Tighter than Dicks hatband
Tighter than the bark on a tree
Tightly
Tightly slight Possibly a variation of "Slightly tightly."
Tilted
Tin hat(s) Cf. "Got on ones little hat." British military, since the late
1800s.
Tin-hatted Naval variant of "Tin hat."
Tinned British variation of "Canned." Since the 1940s.
Tip merry Tipsy. From the tipping of a drinking mug. British, since the
early 1600s.
Tip-top
Tip top tippler Drunk on champagne.
Tipium Grove See "In Tipium Grove."
Tipped/Tipt
Tipping
Tipping ones/the elbow
Tipping the little finger Australian.
Tippled
Tippling Ultimately from Norwegian "tipla," to take frequent small
drinks.
Tipply
Tippy
Tipsificated
Tipsified British, early 1800s.
Tipsy/Tipsey Slightly drunk. A "tip" (short for "tipple") is a draft of
liquor. Since the 1500s.
Tired US euphemism since the 1800s.
Tired and emotional Extremely drunk. Coined by the magazine Private
Eye as a euphemism to mask the activities of celebrities.
Tishy From mispronunciation of "Tipsy."
Titley Variation of "Tiddly."
Tizzied Appears in Lewis Padgetts story "The Proud Robot."
To the gills Shortening of "Up to the gills."
Toast
Toasted Very high. Reinforced by the practice of drinking a "toast."
- 122 -

Toasty
Toe back Heavily inebriated.
Toe up
Toes down
Tol-lol Drunk and happy. From Yorkshire and Nottinghamshire slang
for "pretty good." British, since the 1890s.
Tomado
Tongue-tied Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Too convivial
Too far north "North" is Nautical slang for "strong" or "well-fortified,"
said esp. of grog.
Too many cloths in the wind See "Three sheets in the wind." Since the
1800s.
Too many clothes in/on the wind
Too numerous to mention Drunk and angry. British, since the 1880s.
Took a dive
Took ones broth til one capsized Drank until one fell out of ones
chair. Nautical slang.
Took ones drops
Top-heavy Unable to stand without swaying. Since circa 1675.
Top-loaded
Toped
Toper
Topped
Topped off Completely full. Suggests a gas tank after a motorist has
topped it off.
Topped off ones antifreeze Cf. "Antifreezed."
Topped up
Toppled Very inebriated.
Topper
Toppy
Topsy-boozy/-boosy
Topsy-turvy Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Topy Variant of "Toppy."
Tore
Tore back
Tore down
Tore/Torn up
Tore up from the floor up
Torn
Torqued "Twisted." Possibly of army origin.
Torrid British, late 1700s.
Tosie
Tossed
Tossicated
- 123 -

Tosticated
Tostificated Corruption of "Intoxicated." British & US, l700s to early
1900s.
Tostified
Topsy-mosy
Totaled Very drunk. Suggests a "totaled" automobile. Cf. "Wrecked."
Totally drunk
Totally pissed
Totty
Touched Mildly drunk.
Touched as a boiled owl
Touched off
Touched with drink
Tough as a boiled/biled owl Drunk and belligerent. See "Drunk as a
boiled owl."
Tow-row Drunk and disorderly.
Tow up
Towered Congressional slang. First appeared after the rejection of
John Tower as secretary in the phrase "Lets go out and get towered."
Toxed From "Intoxicated." British, early 1600s.
Toxic
Toxicated
Toxified
Toxy British & US.
Trammeled Incapacitated. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Translated Transferred to another state. Society use. Possibly from
Shakespeares A Midsummer Nights Dream, in which appears the line
"Bless thee, Bottom, thou art translated."
Trashed/T-rashed
Trashed out of ones gourd
Traveling light
Trifle maudlin
Trimmed down
Trip
Tripped
Tripped out
Tripped up
Tripping
Tripping drunk
Trippy Possibly from drug lingo.
Trolleyed
Trounced
Troused
Trousered Scottish slang
Trying Taylors best
- 124 -

T.U.B.B. Acronym for "Tits Up But Breathing."
Tubed Vanishing down the tubes, hence, deeply intoxicated.
Tubed up
Tumbled down the sink Heavily inebriated. To "tumble down the sink"
means to drink in rhyming slang. Since the late 1800s.
Tumbling
Tumbling drunk Drunk and willing to have sex. Possibly from "tumble,"
to seduce or copulate. British, 1800s.
Tuned From electronics. Since the 1920s.
Tuned up
Tuned up a little
Tuppence on the can Tipsy. Public house slang.
Turned on Probably began as drug slang. Since the 1950s.
Turning up ones pinky/little finger Suggests that one habitually gets
drunk.
Turugiddy
Tuzzy Possibly related to "Muzzy." British, 1800s.
Tweased
Tweaked/Tweeked Heavily intoxicated. Valley Girl talk.
Twisted Very drunk.
Two sheets in/to the wind See "Three sheets in the wind."
Two-thirds kicked in the ass
Tying a bag on See "Tied a bag on."
Tying one on


Ugly
Ugly drunk
U.I. Under the Influence.
Umbriago
Unable to say British
Constitution Since the late
1800s. Cf. "Cant say
National Intelligencer."
Unable to scratch oneself
Unable to see a hole in a
ladder Since the mid
1800s.
Unable to sport a right line
Oxford University slang.
Unbalanced
Unco happy
Uncorked
Under Implies
unconsciousness. Or, may
- 125 -

be short for "Under the table," "Under the influence," or some other suc
term.
Under full sail
Under full steam
Under the affluence of incohol Humorous spoonerism inspired by the
incoherent speech of drunks. Australian, since the 1950s.
Under the influence
Under the influence of alcohol
Under the influence of liquor
Under the sauce
Under the table Because one has fallen there. From the days when
excess drinking was considered gentlemanly (see "
h
Drunk as a lord").
Especially in the 1700s and 1800s, men of status would vie in a one-
upmanship of drinking each other under the table.
Under the wagon
Under the weather A popular euphemism. Cf. "Ill." Since the 1800s; may
be of nautical origin.
Underway
Unglued
Unkdray
Unsensed
Unsober Euphemistic. Since the early 1600s.
Unsteady
Unsteady on ones feet
Unwell Euphemistic. Covering up drunkenness by mentioning one of its
symptoms. Cf. "Ill," "Under the weather."
Up High. Probably originated in drug slang.
Up a stump
Up a tree
Up in ones hat
Up large
Up on blocks Possibly refers to a car without wheels supported on
cinder blocks.
Up on Olympus
Up the creek Implies that one is in trouble due to inebriation.
Truncation of "Up the creek (Shit Creek) without a paddle."
Up the pole Rather drunk. Cf. "Getting up the pole." Since the late
1800s.
Up to ones/the eyeballs
Up to ones eyebrows
Up to the ears
Up to the gills Having imbibed a considerable quantity of potent
potables. Frequently combined with other terms to indicate extreme
intoxication.
Upholstered
Upon the go
- 126 -

Upon the spree
Upped the buckets
Uppish From elated feeling and, possibly, cheekiness. British, since the
early 1700s.
Uppity
Upset
Upside down
Upsy/Upsee/Upsey/Upsie/Upse/Upsee The proper spelling is "Upsy"; the
rest are improper variants. From various modes of drinking see the
following two terms. Late 1500s to 1600s.
Upsy Dutch
Upsy English
Upsy Freeze/Freze/Friese

Vabooshed
Valiant Cf. "Full of Dutch courage," "Pot-sure."
Vamooshed
Vapor-locked Because a car is virtually impossible to start when it has
vapor lock. Also suggests the vapors of alcohol.
Varnished Cf. "Shellacked."
Vegetable Barely moving or not moving at all.
Very
Very drunk
Very happy
Very high
Very relaxed
Very weary
Vibing
Vice-Admiral of the narrow seas So drunk that one has lost bladder
control and filled ones boots (the "narrow seas"). Possibly used by
Samuel Johnson. Cf. "As good conditioned as a puppy." Dates back to at
least the 1500s; possibly goes back as far as the 1400s.
Vinolent Drunk on wine.
Visited the bottom of the manger May imply that one is falling-down
drunk.
Voom-voom
Vulcanized

Waa-zooed Variant of "Whazood."
Walking a Virginia fence See "Making Virginia fence."
Walking on ones cap badge Military.
Walking on rocky socks Refers to unsteady gait.
Wall-eyed
- 127 -

Walloped From "wallop," a WWII term for beer or a drink of liquor.
Wallpapered Civil War era slang.
Wam-bazzled
Wamble-cropped/-cropd From a term for general anxiety. Here, "crop"
means the stomach. Noted by Benjamin Franklin.
Wamble-stomached.
Wamblety-cropped
Wankered - Popular with young adults in the UK. Wapsed down
Warming up
Washed out
Washing ones neck
Washing ones/the brain
Washing ones/the head
Washing ones/the ivories Cf. "Sluicing the dominoes."
Wassailed From the traditional wassail, or spiced ale, for holidays, esp.
Yuletide.
Wassailed out
Wassailed up
Wasted Perhaps originated as drug lingo.
Wasted ones paunch
Watching ant races Face down on the floor.
Watered
Waterlogged Dead drunk. Completely saturated, unable to absorb any
more liquid. Of nautical origin.
Water-soaked/-soaken
Waving a flag of defiance
Waxed A "waxer" is an expression formerly used by Customs Officers
and Coopers for a free drink. When a bung was replaced in a cask of
spirit, a disk of waxed paper was inserted before the bung was flogged
home. Prior to this happening, it was customary for the Customs Officer
gauging the cask and the Cooper to have a small tot, just to ensure that
the cask contained spirits, hence the term. It was in common use in
Royal Victoria dock in the 1960s, and applied to any free drink you
could get your hands on. An alternative definition refers to a
particularly bibulous Customs Officer, who would be told "Come on now,
youve had your whack, sir!"
Way out High. Probably originated in drug slang.
Wazzocked
Weak jointed Refers to the difficulty of movement.
Wearing a barley cap Having imbibed too much ale or malt liquor.
Originally Scottish, since the 1600s.
Wearing a lamp shade From the stereotypical "life of the party."
Wearing a wobbly boot
Wearing beer goggles Experiencing the altered perception of
drunkenness.
- 128 -

Wearing the head large Suffering a headache due to alcoholic excess.
Cf. "Got on ones little hat."
Weary Cf. "Tired." Interestingly, Old High German "wuorag" for "drunk"
is a cognate of Anglo-Saxon "werig." British, 1870s to 1920s.
Weaving Cf. "Making Virginia fence."
Wee-weed Derivative of "Pissed" using kiddie slang.
Well away Rather drunk.
Well-bottled Tipsy. US & British, the latter mainly officers use in the
services, since the 1920s.
Well-corned
Well-fixed
Well-greased
Well-healed
Well in for it
Well in the way
Well into it
Well-jointed
Well-lathered
Well-lit
Well-loaded
Well-lubricated
Well-lunched
Well-mulled
Well-oiled
Well on
Well on ones way
Well-organized
Well-preserved
Well-primed
Well-soaked
Well-sprung
Well to live From this phrases sense of "prosperous." Since circa 1610.
Well under Australian.
Well under the weather
Well-wrapped
Wellied
Wet In Bahamian slang this means very drunk. Since the early 1700s;
may date as far back as 1592.
Wet both eyes
Wet-handed
Wet right up Heavily inebriated. Bahamian slang.
Wet within
Wetting ones goozle
Wetting ones/the neck
Wetting ones/the whistle
Wettish
- 129 -

Whacked
Whacked out May have originated in drug lingo.
Whacked out of ones skull
Whacky
Whaled
Whammied
What-nosed Hot-nosed from imbibing. 1800s.
Whatsed
Whazood/Whazooed From term for "beat" or "run down."
Whet ones whistle
Whiffled Tipsy. Origin unknown; British, since the 1930s.
Whipcat/Whip-cat Related to "whip the cat," meaning to vomit esp. due
to crapulence, or to get tipsy. Late 1500s to early 1600s.
Whipped Tipsy. US, 1800s.
Whipping the cat See "Whipcat."
Whipsed
Whipsy/Whipsey
Whiskied
Whisky-frisky From older sense of "flighty."
Whisky-raddled
Whisky-shot
Whisky sodden
Whiskyfied/Whiskified/Whiskeyfied
Whistled From the old British slang "whistle stop" for an inn where one
could "wet ones whistle." Cf. following term. Upper class and services
(esp. RAF) since the 1920s.
Whistle(d) drunk Very drunk. "Whistled drunk" may be a misprint.
Possibly from the cheerful whistling of one who is inebriated. British,
mid 1700s.
Whittin stewed
Whittled Cut. To "whittle" means to make tipsy. British and later US,
1500s to late 1700s.
Whittled as a penguin
Wholly wassailed
Whoofits
Whoop-de-do
Whoopeed up
Whoopie(d)
Whooping it up
Whooshed
Whoozled
Whoozy
Whopped up
Wicked-faced
Wicked retarded
- 130 -

Wide-eyed and legless
Wide-open
Wigged
Wigged out
Wiggy
Wild Cf. "Gone Borneo."
Willy-wacht
Wilted Suggests a plant dying from too much water instead of too little.
Wine of ape At the point of drunkenness where one becomes surly.
According to early Rabbinical literature, while Noah was planting grape
vines, Satan appeared to him with a lamb, a lion, an ape and a pig as
symbols of the four stages of intoxication: First, one is like a lamb; then,
one is like a lion; then, one is like an ape, finally, one is like a pig. The
French Kalendrier at Compost de Bergiers of 1480 liste the four stages
as the choleric vin de lion, the sanguine vin de singe (monkey), the
phlegmatic vin de mouton (sheep), and the melancholic vin de porceau
(swine).
Wine-potted
Wine shits
Wined up
Wing-heavy Drunk to the point that one cannot move. US Air Force
slang. Cf. "Flying Chinese."
Wingd/Winged Cf. "Hit under the wing."
Wingy High. Perhaps originated in drug culture.
Winterized Cf. "Antifreezed," "Prestoned."
Winy/Winey Since circa 1859.
Wiped Probably from drug culture.
Wiped out
Wiped over
Wired High. Probably originally drug lingo. Cf. "Lit."
Wired up
Wise
With a binge on
With a breath
With a breath on
With a breath strong enough to carry (the) coal
With a bun on
With a Christmas list 20 degrees starboard Cf. "45 degrees listed."
Nautical.
With a glow on
With a jag on
With a load on
With a skate on
With a slant on
With a swollen head
- 131 -

With an affectionate jag Drunk and amorous or libidinous. Cf. "Love-
dovey."
With an affectionate jag on
With an edge on
With drink taken
With one over the eight See "One over the eight."
With ones jib well bowsed Nautical.
With the big head
With the eyes set
With the eyes set in ones/the head 1600s to 1700s.
With the main brace well-spliced See "Has spliced the main brace."
With the sun in ones eyes
With the topgallant sails out
With too many cloths in the wind See "Three sheets in the wind."
With too much sail
Wobbly
Woggled
Woggly
Wollied
Womble-cropped Variation of "Womblety-cropt." Noted by Benjamin
Franklin.
Womblety-cropt/Womble-ty-cropt/Womblety-cropped From old term for
"uncomfortable" or "uncertain." Refers to the disposition of a drinker
after going on a bender. See "Wamble-cropped."
Woody
Woofed
Woofled
Wooshed
Woozy/Woosy/Woozey Dizzy, unwell, dazed. Possibly from "wooly" +
"dizzy," "muzzy" or "hazy." Since the late 1800s.
Working the growler See "Rushing the growler."
Worse for wear Mildly drunk.
Wounded
Wrapped up in warm flannel "Warm flannel" or "hot flannel" is a drink
of beer and gin, or mixed spirits served hot. Possibly derived from
various terms for gin.
Wrecked Probably from drug lingo. Cf. "Totaled."
Wrenched Drunk out of ones mind. US campus use.
Wrong (all) round the corner
Wuzzy From "Woozy."

Yappish
Yappy
Yaupish
- 132 -

Yaupy
Ydrunken Very old form of "drunken." Dates back to the 1200s.

Zagged
Zapped
Zeed-out Jersey City slang.
Zeroed
Ziced
Zigzag/Zig-zag French colloquial descriptive of a drunks staggering
gait. Used esp. in northern France during WWI, became part of British
military slang, and later spread to the US. Cf. "Making Virginia fence."
Zigzagged
Zinzagged
Zinzan
Zipped
Zippered
Zissified
Zoned Possibly means in the Twilight Zone. Probably derived from drug
lingo.
Zoned out
Zonk
Zonked Very drunk. Probably from drug lingo, or from slang for "hit."
Zonked out
Zonkers
Zoobang
Zooed
Zooted US college slang.
Zorked
Zotted
Zounk
Zozzled


- 133 -


QUISBY QUOTES
Acilius:
The wine-cup is glad! Dear Zenophile's lip
It boasts to have touched when she stooped down to sip.
Happy wine-cup! I wish that, with lips joined to mine,
All my soul at a draught she would drink up like wine.

Samuel Adams:
It is to be hoped, that the Gentlemen of the Town will endeavor to bring
our own OCTOBER BEER into Fashion again, by that most prevailing
Motive, EXAMPLE, so that we may no longer be beholden to "foreigners"
for a "Credible Liquor," which may be as successfully manufactured in
this country.

Scott Adams:
When I think of all the people I respect the most, you're right there,
serving them drinks.

George Ade:
R-e-m-o-r-s-e,
Those dry Martinis were too much for me.
Last night I really felt immense,
To-day I feel like thirty cents;
It is no time for mirth and laughter
In the cold gray dawn of the morning after.

Joseph Addison:
An honest man, that is not quite sober, has nothing to fear.

Aeschylus:
Bronze is the mirror of the form; wine, of the heart.

Alcaeus:
To be bowed by grief is folly;
Naught is gained by melancholy;
Better than the pain of thinking,
- 134 -

Is to steep the sense in drinking.

One that has wine as a chain
abou
li

Henry Aldrich:
If all be true that I do think,
There are five
should drink:
Go
-
Or lest we should be by and
O

Alexis of Thurii:
In wine a
appears:
The old man b
wine cheers.
Men do not, like your wine, improve by age;
T

Henry Warner Allen:
The wines that one remembers best are not necessarily the finest that
one has tasted, and the highest quality may fail to delight so much as
s

R

Steve Allen:
Do not allow child
m

Woody Allen:
Why does man kill? H
m

Anacharsis:
The first draught serveth for health, the s
fo

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: th
in

t his wit, such a one lives no
fe at all.
reasons why we
od wine - a friend - or being dry
by -
r any other reason why.
nd man this difference
ores you, but the
he more their years, the less their ways engage.
ome far more humble beverage drunk in more favorable surroundings.
eligions change; beer and wine remain.
ren to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too
uch vermouth.
e kills for food. And not only food: frequently there
ust be a beverage.
econd for pleasure, the third
r shame, and the fourth for madness.
e first of pleasure, the next of
toxication, and the third of disgust.
- 135 -

Poul Anderson:
Let us settle down to the serious business of getting drunk.
Cf. John Dryden
Aldebaran is not so red within the Hyades
As is the hearthside claret heartward flowing;
No gold or whiteness quivers across the winter seas
chardonnay is glowing.
Drink, before our time shall come for going.
from Orion Shall Rise
ntiphanes:
y a man cannot hide: that he is drunk and that he is in
hen men drink, then they are rich and successful and win lawsuits and
their friends. Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so
Eleanor Arnason:
led with beer. This calls for
wine. Or maybe brandy.
Metz:
m man's sweat and God's love, beer came into the world.
eing dry,
ng here,
lcohol is good for you. My grandfather proved it irrevocably. He drank
every mature day of his life and lived to the age of
ady Nancy Astor:
drink is that I want to know when I am having a good
Like that which gleams where
Once again the vintners have wrought their humble miracle.

A
Two things onl
love.

Aristophanes:
W
are happy and help
that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

This is not a situation which can be hand
from A Woman of the Iron People
Saint Arnold of
Fro

George Arnold:
I,
B
Sit, idly sippi
My beer.

Dave Astor:
A
two quarts of booze
103. I was at the cremation - that fire would not go out.

L
One reason I don't
- 136 -

time.

Brooks Atkinson:
The cocktail party has the form
d
masse, or for m
as in the etiquette of whoring.

Jane Austen:
I
would be not
famous good thing for us all.

of friendship without the warmth and
evotion. It is the device for getting rid of social obligations hurriedly en
aking overtures toward more serious social relationships,
am sure of this, that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day, there
half the disorders in the world there are now. It would be a
Felix Aymer:
ting when you're thirty, but
disastrous at seventy.
g
ll soon be
id in the grave. Whether you're a landlord, a duke or a king, not a
any you under the sod, and so, there's no better
eople go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy
et their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few
lvan R. Barach:
een lightly defined as a man who drinks more than
rkley:
ed, and a little drunk.
lone it stood, while its fellows lay strew'd
ottle man in a company screw'd
ithout question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
e
Alcohol in the middle of the day is exci
In the movie The Chalk Garden
Riocard Bairad:
People have discovered many ways of gathering money and amassin
wealth, little thinking that their life will end and that they wi
la
penny will accomp
employment than the enjoyment of life with plenty to drink.

Mikhail Bakunin:
P
themselves, to forg
minutes anyway, free and happy.

A
An alcoholic has b
his own doctor.

Allen W. Ba
The best audience is intelligent, well-educat

Barnham:
A
Like a four-b
Not firm on his legs but by no means subdued.

Dave Barry:
W
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but th
- 137 -

wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

N
oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
ingredient in beer.

In
rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to
drink beer.

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking
Barry Manilow.

I
such as the fall o
working.

Roland Barthes:
Other countries drink to get drunk, and this is accepted by everyone; in
France, drunkenn
a
effect which is sought: wine is not only a philter, it is also the leisu
act of drinking.

Wine is a part of society because it provides a basis not only for
m
ceremonia
conversation at the local caf to the speech at a formal dinner.

S
Drunkenness
temporary death.

Baudelaire:
Be always drunken
D
With wine, with poet
But be drunken.

Stephen Beaumont:
It
food and televisio
unmercifully bad.

Brendan Behan:
I
ot all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear
like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event
f communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still
ess is a consequence, never an intention. A drink is felt
s the spinning out of a pleasure, not as the necessary cause of an
rely
a
orality but also for an environment; it is an ornament in the slightest
ls of French daily life, from the snack to the feast, from the
t. Basil:
is the ruin of reason. it is premature old age. It is
. Nothing else matters...
runken with what?
ry, or with virtue, as you will.

is not "just beer," it is a noble and ancient beverage which, like wine,
n advertising, can be extraordinarily good or
am a drinker with writing problems.
- 138 -


One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.

I
that which mak
women warmer in the winter, and happier in

Hilaire Belloc:
The Tipple's aboard and the ni
T
I am singing the best song ev
A

Wine is the last companion.

R
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begi
with that it's compounding a felony.

A friend told him that the particular drink he was drinking was
p

Why don't you get out of that wet coat an

Stephen Vincent Bent:
Oh, Georgia booze is mighty fine bo
T
But it eats the so
For Hell's broke loose in Georgia.

A
In the meantim
nothing else can produce.

Chuck Berry:
Way down south they had a jubilee,
T
They were drinking
The folks that were dancin' t

Good Queen B
[Beer] is an excellent wash.

G
I spent a lot of m
squandered.
have a total irreverence for anything connected with society, except
es to road safer, the beer stronger, the old men and
the summer.
ght is young,
he door's ajar and the Barrel is sprung,
er was sung
nd it has a rousing chorus.
obert Benchley:
n
slow
oison, and he replied, "So who's in a hurry?"
d into a dry martini?
oze,
he best yuh ever poured yuh,
les right offen yore shoes,
rnold Bennett:
e alcohol produces a delightful social atmosphere that
hem Georgia folks, they had a jamboree.
homebrew from a wooden tub,
here got all shook up.
ess:
eorge Best:
y money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just
- 139 -


A
Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
himself a pleasu

Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excu
g

Bottle-nosed: Having a nose created in the image of its maker.

F
drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for
a

Rum: Generically, fie

Wheat: A cereal from which a tolera
d

Wine: God's next best gift to man.

The wine o
ti
warms the cockles of the heart, and it burns the sensitive lining of the
stomach.

An aged Burg
Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.

J
A good writer is not, p
drunk is automatically a good bartender.

J
Wine is the drin
women, and water the drink of beasts.

William Blake:
The best wine is the oldest, the best water the newest.

Robert Bloch:
I figure everything after three scotches is philosophical.

Humphrey Bogart:
The trouble with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

mbrose Bierce:
re.
se for
etting drunk.
east: A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony &
bstemiousness.
ry liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
bly good whisky can with some
ifficulty be made.
f Arpad Haraszthy has a bouquet all its own. It tickles and
tillates the palate. It gurgles as it slips down the alimentary canal. It
undy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that
im Bishop:
er se, a good book critic. No more than a good
ohn Stuart Blackie:
k of the gods, milk the drink of babes, tea the drink of
- 140 -

T
woman puts that high heel over the b
somehow women at bars s

Esquire: Were yo
Bogart: Isn't everybody.

Erma Bombeck:
Never accept a drink from a urologist.

G
Good ale, the tru
of the name of Englishman who speaketh against ale, that is good

James Boswell:
D
portion of the time of ma
rational and agreeable manner is one of the great arts of living.

Christian Nevell B
Wine is a treacherous friend who you must a

Anne Bradstreet:
For he that loveth wine, wanteth no woes.

R
The hard part a
who is just stupid.

Meyer Breslau:
Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation.

Jimmy Breslin:
In
emotions, or ever releasing themselves from the grayness of the
drink is not a social tool. It is a think you need in order t

When you stop drink
personality that started you drinking in the first place.

B
Wine is wholesome, gives health
and bravery to those who are well.

J
Burgundy makes you think of silly things, Bordeaux makes you talk
here never seems to be any trouble brewing around a bar until a
rass rail. Don't ask me why, but
eem to create trouble among men.
u drunk at 4 A.M.?
eorge Borrow:
e and proper drink of Englishmen. He is not deserving
ale.
rinking is in reality an occupation which employs a considerable
ny people; and to conduct it in the most
ovee:
lways be on guard for.
ichard Braunstein:
bout being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and
a world where there is a law against people ever showing their
ir days, a
o live.
ing, you have to deal with this marvelous
ridget of Sweden:
to the sick, joy to the sorrowful, courage
ean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin:
- 141 -

about them, and Champagne makes you do them.

A
dinner. 'Much obliged', said he, pushing the plate aside; 'I am not
accustomed to

Those who give themselves indigestion or get drunk, d
e

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine.

T
becomes saturated an
nothing but an obscure sensation.

Elizabeth Browning:
W

The wine must taste of its own grapes.

L
The decline of t
phenomena of our time.

George Burns:
I never go jogging; it makes me spill my Martin

Actually, it tak
remember if it's the thirteenth or

Robert Burns:
Inspiring bold John Barleycorn!
man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after
take my wine in pills.'
o not know how to
at or drink.
o claim that wines should not be changed is a heresy; the palate
d after the third glass the best of wines arouses
hen the liquor's out, why clink the cannikin?
uis Bunuel:
he aperitif may well be one of the most depressing
i.
es only one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't
fourteenth.
What dangers thou canst make us scorn!
arleycorn is the personification of strong drink,
particularly beer. "Tipenny" was the name of a type of Scots ale.
s the root of the word
o statesman nor soldier to plot or to fight,

le of my care.

Wi' tipenny, we fear nae evil;
Wi' usquebae, we'll face the devil!
Sir John B
"Usquebae" means "water of life," and i
"whisky."
No churchman am I for to rail and to write,
N
No sly man of business contriving to snare,
For a big-bellied bottle's the who
- 142 -

Kings may be blest, but Tam was glorious,
O'er a' the ills o' life victorious.
I.e., Tam was drunk.
- 143 -

We'll take a cup of kindness yet
- 144 -

For auld lang syne!
- 145 -


Freedom and Whisky gang thegither.

Go, fetch me a pint o' wine
And fill it in a silver tassie;
That I may drink before I go
A service to my bonnie lassie.

Benjamin Hapgood Burt:
One evening in October, when I was one-third sober,
An' taking home a "load" with manly pride,
My poor feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came up an' lay down by my side.
Then we sang "It's all fair weather when good fellows get together,"
Till a lady passing by was heard to say:
"You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses."
And the pig got up and slowly walked away.

Sir Richard Burton:
I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.

When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how
to play them when I was drunk.

Robert Burton:
I may not here omit those two main plagues, and common dotages of
human kind, wine and women, which have infatuated and besotted
myriads of people. They go commonly together.

Samuel Butler:
The human intellect owes its superiority over that of the lower animals
in great measure to the
stimulus which alcohol has
given to imagination.

It is immoral to get drunk
because the headache comes
after the drinking, but if the
headache came first and the
drunkenness afterwards, it
would be moral to get drunk.

Lord Byron:
Man being reasonable must get
drunk;
The best of life is but
- 146 -

intoxication;
Glory, the grape, love, gold - in these are sunk
The hopes of all men and of every nation;
Without their sap, how branchless were the trunk
Of life's strange tree, so fruitful on occasion!

What's drinking?
A mere pause from thinking!

'Tis pity wine should be so deleterious,
For tea and coffee leave us much more serious.

There's naught, no doubt, so much the spirit calms
As rum and true religion.

See Social-Life and Glee sit down
All joyous and unthinking,
Till, quite transmogrify'd, they're grown
Debauchery and Drinking.

Few things surpass old wine; and they may preach
Who please, the more because they preach in vain -
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,
Sermons and soda-water the day after.

A land of slaves shall ne'er be mine -
Dash down yon cup of Samian wine!

Were 't the last drop in the well,
As I gasp'd upon the brink,
Ere my fainting spirit fell
'T is to thee that I would drink.

Herb Caen:
Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on
several horrible occasions.

James Cagney:
A lush can always find a reason if he's thirsty. Listen. If he's happy, he
takes a couple of shots to celebrate his happiness. Sad, he needs them
to drown his sorrow. Low, to pick him up; excited, to calm him down.
Sick, for his health; and healthy, it can't hurt him...a lush just can't lose.
In the movie Come Fill the Cup
- 147 -

Callimachus:
Drink now, and love, Democrates; for we
Shall not have wine and boys eternally.

C. S. Calverley:
The heart which grief hath cankered
Hath one unfailing remedy - the tankard.

Albert Camus:
Note in the barracks: "Drink drives out the man and brings out the
beast." Which makes me understand why they like it.

Truman Capote:
I'm an alcoholic, a genuine alcoholic. Not just a fake phony alcoholic, I'm
a real alcoholic.

Bob Carbone:
If you can make oatmeal cookies at home, you can brew beer.

Drew Carey:
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group
for that. It's called Everybody, and they meet at the bar.

Lewis Carroll:
'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. Alice
looked around the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. 'I don't see
any wine,' she remarked. 'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.

Billy Carter:
Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you
don't know where the bathroom is.

Margaret Cavendish:
Let you and I in Mirth and Pleasure swell,
And drink long lusty droughts from Bacchus' bowl,
Until our brains on vaporous waves do roll.

David Cecil:
You must be careful about giving any drink whatsoever to a bore. A lit-
up bore is the worst in the world.

Cervantes:
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.

Under a bad cloak there is often a good drinker.

- 148 -

Drink moderately, for drunkenness neither keeps a secret, nor observes
a promise.

Raymond Chandler:
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the
third is routine. After that you just take the girl's clothes off.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle,
so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

Nick Charles:
See, in mixing, the important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm
in your shaking. Now a Manhattan, you shake to foxtrot time; a Bronx
to two-step time. But a Martini, you always shake to waltz time.
In the movie The Thin Man
Chaucer:
For dronkennesse is verray sepulture
Of mannes wit and his discrecioun.

In womman vinolent is no defence.

Thou comest home as dronken as a mouse.

I trowe that ye dronken han wyn ape.
The mancible is describing the cook as being so drunk that he is
no longer either jolly or playful; he is now surly and dull.
Anton Pavlovich Chekov:
I am dying. I haven't drunk champagne for a long time.
Last words
Gilbert Keith Chesterton:
No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or as good as
drink.

And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine,
"I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."

St. George he was for England,
And before he killed the dragon
He drank a pint of English ale
Out of an English flagon.
- 149 -


The rolling English drunkard made the rolling English road.

For the poor, beer is a necessity, as tobacco is very nearly a necessity; it
is only for people sufficiently rich and fashionable to be faddists that
either is really a luxury.

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

The dipsomaniac and the abstainer are not only both mistaken, but they
both make the same mistake. They both regard wine as a drug and not
as a drink.

Most Americans are born drunk, and really require a little wine or beer
to sober them. They have a sort of permanent intoxication from within, a
sort of invisible champagne. Americans do not need to drink to inspire
them to do anything, though they do sometimes, I think, need a little for
the deeper and more delicate purpose of teaching them how to do
nothing.

Julia Child:
Forget the cheap white wine: go to beef and gin!

Winston Churchill:
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me.

When I was younger I made it a rule never to take strong drink before
lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before breakfast.

I must point out that my rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred
rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if
need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

Most people hate the taste of beer - to begin with. It is, however, a
prejudice that many people have been able to overcome.

I make a martini by glancing across the room at the vermouth while the
bartender pours the gin.

I may be drunk, but tomorrow I will be sober and you, my dear, will still
be fat and ugly.

I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for
people who get drunk.

- 150 -

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add
whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.

John Ciardi:
There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

Paul Claudel:
A cocktail is to a glass of wine as rape is to love.

Irvin S. Cobb:
A sudden violent jolt of it has been known to stop the victim's watch,
snap his suspenders and crack his glass eye right across.

William Cole:
A hundred standing people smiling and talking to one another, nodding
like gooney birds. [describing a cocktail party]

Samuel Taylor Coleridge:
Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you
must keep them wet.

George Coleman the Younger:
Mynyeer Vanduck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Eddie Condon:
For a bad hangover take the juice of two quarts of whisky.

Sean Connery:
"I told the stewardess liquor for three."
"Who are the other two?"
"Oh, there are no other two."
As James Bond
Red wine with fish. Well, that should have told me something.
As James Bond in From Russia With Love
William Congreve:
To drink is a Christian diversion
Unknown to the Turk or the Persian.

Joseph Conrad:
It is a maudlin and indecent verity that comes out through the strength
of wine.
- 151 -


Bill Cosby:
If a white man falls of a chair drunk, it's
just a drunk. If a Negro does, it's the
whole damn Negro race.

Charles Cotton:
A night of good drinking
Is worth a year's thinking.

Noel Coward:
It's never too early for a cocktail.

Abraham Cowley:
Fill all the glasses there, for why
Should every creature drink but I?
Why, man of morals, tell me why?

William Cowper:
Drink and be mad, then, 'tis your country
bids!
Gloriously drunk, obey the important call.

All learned, and all drunk!


George Crabbe:
Lo! the poor toper whose untutor'd sense
Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense;
Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer,
Beyond the muddy ecstasies of beer.

Cratinus:
Wine, to a gifted bard,
Is a mount that merrily races;
From watered wits
No good has ever grown.
Cf. Horace
Aleister Crowley:
There is only one really safe, mild, harmless beverage and you can drink
as much of that as you like without running the slightest risk, and what
you say when you want it is, "Garcon! Un Pernod!"

e. e. cummings:
- 152 -

humanity i love you because
when you're hard up you pawn you
intelligence to buy a drink.

Rodney Dangerfield:
I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in
it.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a
mirror.

I drink too much, way too much; when my doctor drew blood he ran a
tab!

I'm a bad drinker. I got loaded one night, the next day they picked me
up. I was in front of a judge. He said, 'You're here for drinking.' I said,
'OK, Your Honor, let's get started.'

Tom Dargan:
Making light lager beer is like going to the beach in a thong. You better
have all your parts in place or it's going to be ugly.

Joseph Dargent:
No government could survive without champagne. Champagne in the
throats of our diplomatic people is like oil in the wheels of an engine.

John Davidson:
Dance and sing, we are eternal;
Let us still be mad with drinking:
'Tis a madness less infernal
Than the madness caused by drinking.

Bette Davis:
There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps
is a glass of champagne.
In the movie Old Acquaintance
Come on, Oscar, let's you and me go get drunk!
In the movie The Star
David Daye:
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.

Walter de Map:
- 153 -

Die I must, but let me die drinking in an inn!
Hold the wine-cup to my lips sparkling from the bin!
So, when the angels flutter down to take me from my sin,
"Ah, God have mercy on this sot," the cherubs will begin.

Edouard de Pomaine:
For a gourmet wine is not a drink but a condiment, provided that your
host has chosen correctly.

Thomas de Quincey:
It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is
disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by
sobriety.

Franois de Salignac:
Some of the most dreadful mischiefs that afflict mankind proceed from
wine; it is the cause of disease, quarrels, sedition, idleness, aversion to
labour, and every species of domestic disorder.

Melchior de Santa Cruz:
If you add water to wine, it ruins it; if you don't, it ruins you.

Alexis de Tocqueville:
An American, instead of going in a leisure hour to dance merrily at some
place of public resort, as the fellows of his calling continue to do
throughout the greater part of Europe, shuts himself up at home to
drink. He thus enjoys two pleasures; he can go on thinking of his own
business, and he can get drunk decently by his own fireside.

Bernard de Voto:
You can no more keep a martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a
kiss there. The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden
glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth and one of the most
short-lived.

Charles Dibdin:
Then trust me there's nothing like drinking
So pleasant on this side the grave;
It keeps the unhappy from thinking
And makes e'en the valiant more brave.

Charles Dickens:
Who comes here?
A grenadier.
What does he want?
A pot of beer.
- 154 -


Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.

Leave the bottle on the chimley-piece, and don't ask me to take none,
but let me put my lips to it when I am so dispoged.

...that the mounds of ices, and the bowls of mint-julep and sherry
cobbler they make in these latitudes, are refreshments never to be
thought of afterwards, in summer, by those who would preserve
contented minds.

Emily Dickinson:
I did not know the wine
Came once a world, did you?

Diogenes:
He calls drunkenness an expression identical with ruin.

When asked what wine he liked to drink, he replied, "That which belongs
to another."

Disraeli:
There is moderation even in excess.

Henry Austin Dobson:
When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served
in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?

Kirk Douglas:
You're all wrong! The best wine is from home, no matter where that is!
In the movie
Spartacus
mes
ating.
nd to your glasses
nk in our comrade's
r cup to the dead already
Norman Douglas:
Wine is a precarious
aphrodisiac, and its fu
have blighted many a
m

Bartholomew Dowling:
Then sta
steady!
We dri
eyes;
Ou
- 155 -

-
H

Sir Francis Hastings Doyle:
Last night, among his fellow ro
He jested, quaffed and swore;
A drunken private of the B
W

John Dryden:
A very merry, dancing, drinking,
L

Of seeming arms to make a short essay,
urrah for the next that dies!
ughs,
uffs,
ho never looked before.
aughing, quaffing, and unthinking time.
Then hasten to be drunk - the business of the day.
Cf. Poul Anderson
acchus, ever fair and ever young.
's pleasure;
weet is pleasure after pain.
ife ain't all beer and skittles, and more's the pity.

If
mb,
result of the oysters and champagne - the food of
phrodite."
pagne while I am alive;
ey can send me flowers when I am dead.
n'
sed manny a lady to be loved that otherwise
ight've died single.
thin he can have a good
pinion iv himsilf, ondisturbed by th facts.
B

Bacchus' blessings are a treasure,
Drinking is the soldier
Rich the treasure,
Sweet the pleasure,
S

George DuMaurier:
L

Isadora Duncan:
Before I was born my mother was in great agony of spirit and in a tragic
situation. She could take no food except iced oysters and champagne.
people ask me when I began to dance, I reply, "In my mother's wo
probably as a
A

It would be much kinder if they sent me cham
th

Finley Peter Dunne:
There is wan thing an' on'y wan thing to be said in favor iv drink, a
that is that it has cau
m

Alcohol is nicissary fr a man so that now an
o
- 156 -


Will & Airel Durant:
Water is the usual drink, but everyone has wine, for n
fo

Marguerite Duras:
Alcohol is barren. The words a man speaks in the ni
fa

When a woman drinks it's as if an animal were drinking, or a child.
Alcoholism is scandalous in a woman, and a female alc
s

No other human being, no woman, no poem or music, book or painting
c

John Dyer:
And he that will this health deny,
D

Thomas Edison:
A

Bob Edwards:
I am a p
w

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
In

The secret of drunken
u

The spirit of the world, the great calm prese
fo

There is this to be said in favor of drinking
fi

God made yeast, as well
a

Epictetus:
He is a d
d

o civilization has
und life tolerable without narcotics or stimulants.
ght of drunkenness
de like the darkness itself at the coming of day.
oholic is rare, a
erious matter. It's a slur on the divine in our nature.
an replace alcohol in its power to give man the illusion of real creation.
own among the dead men let him lie.
s a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.
rohibitionist. What I propose to prohibit is the reckless use of
ater.
temperance is the only vulgarity.
ness is, that it insulates us in thought, whilst it
nites us in feeling.
nce of the creator, comes not
rth to the sorceries of opium or of wine.
, that it takes the drunkard
rst out of society, then out of the world.
as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly
s he loves vegetation.
runkard who takes more than three glasses, though he be not
runk.
- 157 -

Eratosthenes:
Be kind, O Bacchus, take this empty po
Offered to thee by Xenophon, the sot,
t,
Who giving this, gives all that he has got.
hat in pious worship of thee became of all the rest.
's the wise man who stays home when he's drunk.
just a drivelling idiot, to my thinking.

ttle of wine begs to be shared; I
ave never met a miserly wine lover.
t a necessity. It is a means of momentarily side-stepping
ecessity.
upon ale; I have eat my ale, drank my ale, and I always
leep upon ale.
n't fool with booze until he's fifty;
en he's a damn fool if he doesn't.
co, food, and a little
hisky.
econd, I feel superlative. When I have more, theres no holding me.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Cf. a Danish
Gracious Bacchus! Accept this empty jar! You will know best,
W

Euripides:
It

The man that isn't jolly after drinking
Is

Clifton Fadiman:
The drinking of wine seems to have a moral edge over many pleasures
and hobbies in that it promotes love of one's neighbor. As a general
thing it is not a lone occupation. A bo
h

Liquor is no
n

George Farquhar:
I have fed purely
s

William Faulkner:
There's no such thing as bad whisky. Some whiskys just happen to be
better than others. But a man should
th

The tools I need for my work are paper, tobac
w

When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have the
s

Steve Fergosi:
proverb
ng to start having dorms for alcoholics.
believe those are called dorms.
Craig Ferguson:
A number of U.S. colleges are goi
I
- 158 -


Henry Fielding:
Today it is our pleasure to be drunk;
A

W

W. C. Fields:
I exercise extreme s
b

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew. I
happened to stumble across a case
s after.

What contemptible s
c

It's quite true I'm not drinking any more -
h

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's ho
u

Say anything that yo
t

During one of my treks through Afghanistan,
we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled

'Twas a woman who drove me
c

I

In

Y

A

I drink only t
fo

I always keep a supp
nd this our queen shall be as drunk as we.
ine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy.
elf control. I never drink anything stronger than gin
efore breakfast.
of bourbon - and went right on
stumbling for several day
coundrel has stolen the
ork to my lunch?
owever, I'm not drinking any less, either.
use
nless they have a well-stocked bar.
u like about me except
hat I drink water.

to
live on food and water for several days.
to drink, and I never even had the
ourtesy to thank her for it.
never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
flation has gone up to over two dollars a quart.
ou can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
nybody who hates dogs and loves whiskey can't be all bad.
o steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move
r months.
ly of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which
- 159 -

I

I

I never worry a
d

Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove
that more people ar
d

T

I

I

Edward Fitzge
Wile you live,
D

One flash of It within the Tavern caught
B

F

Ah, with the Grape my fading Life provide,
And wash the Body whence the Life has d
And lay me, shrouded in the living Leaf,
By some not unfrequented Gardenside.
That even my buried Ashes such a sna
Of Vintage shall fling up into the A
As not a True-believer passing by
B

And much as Wine has played the Infidel,
And robbed me of my Robe of Honor -
I often wonder what the Vintners buy
O

The Grape that can with Logic absolute
The Two-and-Seventy jarring Sects conf
The sovereign Alchemist that in a trice
L

So when that Angel of the darker Drink
also keep handy.
never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
bout being driven to drink; I just worry about being
riven home.
e driven insane through religious hysteria than by
rinking alcohol?
he liver is evil and must be punished.
don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.
drink with impunity - or anyone else who invites me.
rald:
rink! - for once dead, you never shall return.
etter than in the Temple lost outright.
ill me with that old familiar juice.
ied,

re
ir
ut shall be overtaken unaware.
Well,
ne half so precious as the stuff they sell.
ute:
ife's leaded metal into Gold transmute.
- 160 -

At last shall find you by the river-brink
And, offering his Cup, invite your Soul
F

Come, fill the Cup, and in the fire of Sprin
Your winter-garment of Repentance fli
The Bird of Time has but a little way
T

Perplexed no more with Human or Divin
Tomorrow's tangle to the Winds resign.
And lose your Fingers in the Tresses of
T

Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor wh
D

Ah, my Belovd, fill the Cup that clears
Today of past Regrets and future Fears;
Tomorrow! Why, Tomorrow, I may be
M

You know, my Friends, with what a brav
I made a second Marriage of my House;
Divorced old barren Reason from my Bed
A

F. Scott Fitzgerald:
The hangover beca
S

Sir Alexander Fleming:
If penicillin can cure those who are
d

Ian Fleming:
A dry martini. One. In a deep champagne goblet. Three measures of
Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it w
it

I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like
,
orth to your Lips to quaff - you shall not shrink.
g,
ng:
o flutter - and the Bird is on the Wing.
e,
he Cypress-slender Minister of Wine.
y:
rink! for you know not why you go, nor where.
yself with Yesterday's Sev'n thousand Years.
e Carouse,
nd took the Daughter of the Vine to Spouse.
me a part of the day as well allowed-for as the
panish siesta.
ill, Spanish sherry can bring the
ead back to life.
ell until
's very cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?
that one to
be large and very strong and very cold and very well made.
Both quotes are from Casino Royale
- 161 -

John Fletcher:
D
You shall perhaps not do't tomorrow.

C
Tonight we a

N
I love the smell o

Gerald R. Ford:
T
else can you

J
We can drink till

Jeff Foxworthy:
The problem with the designated driver progra
b
the night, drop them

rink today and drown all sorrow;
ome, landlord, fill the flowing bowl until it does run over,
ll will merry be - tomorrow we'll get sober.
ick Floyd:
f hops in the morning. It smells like victory.
he three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where
get an earfull, a bellyfull and a snootfull at the same time?
ohn Ford:
all look blue.
m, it's not a desirable job,
ut if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of
off at the wrong house.
enjamin Franklin B :
pon our vineyards; there
it enters the root of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof
Frequently misquoted as "Beer is proof that God loves us and
.
nt
eve his dryness, created the
ine and revealed to him the art of making le vin. By the aid of this
ine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and
ater.
Eat not to dullness, drink not to elation.

Behold the rain which descends from heaven u
that God loves us, and loves to see us happy.
wants us to be happy."
There cant be good living where there is not good drinking.

Before Noah, men having only water to drink, could not find the truth
Accordingly...they became abominably wicked, and they were justly
exterminated by the water they loved to drink. This good man, Noah,
having seen that all his contemporaries had perished by this unpleasa
drink, took a dislike to it; and God, to reli
v
liquid he unveiled more and more truth.

W
more tolerance.

Take counsel in wine, but resolve afterwards in w
- 162 -


Nothing more like a Fool than a drunk

The antediluvians were all very sober
For they had no wine and brewed no October;
A
For there cant be goo

Frederick the Great:
It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee used b
my subjects, and the amount of money that goes out of the country as
consequence. Everybody is using coffee; this must be prevented. His
Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were both his ancestors and
officers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers
o
be relied upon to

T
You can't grow u

T
A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his m

Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.

Wine hath drowned more men than

Will Fyfe:
I'm only a common old working chap,
As anyone can see,
B
Glasgow belongs

G
Wine is sunlight, h

F
Wine makes

J
From wine what sudden friendship springs!

Fill ev'ry glass, for wine inspi
A
With courage, love and joy.

en Man.
ll wicked, bad livers, on mischief still thinking,
d living where there is not good drinking.
y
a
nourished
n beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can
endure hardships in case of another war.
ony Froggart:
p in Australia and not drink beer.
homas Fuller:
oney runs into.
the sea. (a variation of the above?)
ut when I get a couple of drinks on a Saturday,
to me.
alileo Galilei:
eld together by water.
ernande Garvin:
a symphony of a good meal.
ohn Gay:
res us,
nd fires us
- 163 -

F
flincher in eith

Kahil Gibran:
A
escape from so

Andrew Gid:
Drunkenness is never anything but a sub
a
to buy the dream

George Gissing:
No draught of wine amid the old tombs under the violet sky but made m
for the time a better man, larger of brain, more courageous, more
gentle. 'Twas a reve
fo
of the Italian v

G
I've never been drunk, but I've been overserved.

My uncle was t

Nikolai Gogol:
Go along, go along quickly, and set all you have on the table for us.
don't want doughnuts, honey buns, poppy cakes, and other dainties;
bring us a whole sheep, serve a goat and forty-year old mead! And
p
flavorings, but pur

Oliver Goldsmith:
Let schoolmasters puzzle their br
With grammar, and nonsense, and
G
Gives genius a better discerning.

I
certain we had m

J
There is nothing for a

Frederick Goodyear:
I hope you are not one of those people who get drunk on the idea of
alcohol
ill it up. I take as large draughts of liquor as I did of love. I hate a
er.
nd when you see a man drunken say in your heart, "Mayhap he sought
mething still more unbeautiful."
stitute for happiness. It
mounts to buying the dream of a thing when you haven't money enough
ed-of thing materially.
e
lry whereon came no repentance. Could I but live
r ever in thoughts and feelings such as those born to me in the shadow
ine!
eorge Gobel:
he town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.
We
lenty of vodka, not vodka with all sorts of fancies, not with raisins and
e foaming vodka, that hisses and bubbles like mad.
ain,
learning;
ood liquor, I stoutly maintain,
can't say whether we had more wit among us now than usual, but I am
ore laughing, which answered the end as well.
oan Goldstein:
case of nerves like a case of beer.
(blessed word). It is really very curious that people get more
- 164 -

m
them.

J. B. Gough:
E
every inebriate wo

Thomas Guthrie:
Whisky is a good thing in its place. There is nothing like it for
p
him in whisk

Robert Hall:
Call things by their ri
c
distilled damn

Tom T. Hall:
Whiskey's too rough,
Champagne costs to
Vodka puts my mouth
I hope this refrain,
Will help me
A
I like beer.

Philip G. Hamerton:
It is said that beer drinkers are slow, and a little stupid; that they hav
an ox-like placidity not quite favorable to any brilliant intellectual
display. But there are times when this placidity is what the laboring
brain most needs. After the agitations of too active thinking there is
safety in
e
peace.

Jack Handey:
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewe
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might
be out of work and their dreams would be shat
m
than to be selfish an

R
One pint of beer...equa

uddled in their heads by thinking about intoxicants than by drinking
very moderate drinker could abandon the intoxicating cup if he would;
uld if he could.
reserving a man when he is dead. If you want to keep a man dead, put
y; if you want to kill a live man, put whisky in him.
ght names...Glass of brandy and water! This is the
urrent but not the appropriate name: ask for a glass of liquid fire and
ation.
o much,
in gear.
explain,
s a matter of fact,
e
a tankard of ale. The wine drinkers are agile, but they are
xcitable; the beer drinkers are heavy, but in their heaviness there is
ry
tered. Then I say to
yself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true
d worry about my liver.'
aymond Hankins:
ls 1/2 college credit in philosophy.
- 165 -

J
Licker talks

P
I can't die until

Vance Havner:
I'
please the cocktail crowd in church congregations.

I'm tired of hearing sin cal
o
dollars a year to spread

N
Mankind ar

John Hay:
W
when it strikes g

W
Brandyis a kind

W. Knox Haynes:
One drink is plenty;
oel Chandler Harris:
mighty loud w'en it gits loose from de jug.
hil Harris:
the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.
m tied of hearing about temperance instead of abstinence, in order to
led sickness and alcoholism a disease. It is the
nly disease I know of that we're spending hundreds of millions of
.
athanial Hawthorne:
e earthen jugs with spirits in them.
ine is like rain: when it falls on the mire it but makes it the fouler, but
ood soil wakes it to beauty and bloom.
illiam Hazlitt:
of slow poison.
Two drinks too many,
ish
And three not half enough.
Cf. a Span proverb
it
you quickly realize
at this is a true friend, to be admitted to your most secret counsels.
ith an open throat are the secret.
itch Hedberg:
ly disease that you can get yelled at for having.
ere's to alcoholic brotherhood - more suited to the frail human soul
e wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - and
Maurice Healy:
And there are few things in this life so revolting as sipped beer. But let
go down your throat "as suds go down a drain," and
th
Long draughts w

M
Alcoholism is the on

Robert A. Heinlein:
H
than any other sort.

B
miss.
- 166 -


Sir Arthur Helps:
Put a man in a room where he can play dominoes, read newspapers, and
have what he considers a good talk; and you will observe that he will n
drink as fast or as deep, or as strongly as he otherwise would. In short,
there w
ot
ould be other things to amuse him besides drinking; and what
does he drink for, but to amuse himself, and to forget troubles of every
kind?

ngway:
n intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend his time
lways do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
his wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. You don't want to mix
n
for
o do that cold. But
always helps my shooting. Modern life, too, is often a mechanical


Ernest Hemi
A
with fools.

A
keep your mouth shut.

T
emotions up with a wine like that. You lose the taste.

Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have
drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
When you work hard all day with your head and know you must work
again the next day what else can change your ideas and make them ru
on a different plane like whisky? When you are cold and wet what else
can warm you? Before an attack who can say anything that gives you
the momentary well-being that rum does? The only time it isn't good
you is when you write or when you fight. You have t
it
oppression and liquor is the only mechanical relief.

- 167 -

I
friends. Ive lost 30 pounds.

M
mechanical relief

William Henley:
The Spirit of Wine
Sang in my glass, and I listened
W
His flushed and m

K
Hops are a

O. Henry:
There are two time
O
takes her la

Heraclitus:
A
relax over wine

A. P. Herbert:
T
So what's the use

George Herbert:
D
When once it is

Oliver Herford:
God made Man
Frail as a bubble;
God made Love,
Love made Tr
God made the Vine,
Was it a sin
T
To drown trouble in?

A soft drink

Herodotus:
The Persians...are accustomed to deliberate on matters of th
decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with
odern life is often a mechanical oppression and liquor is the only
.
ith love to his odorous music,
agnificent song.
ing Henry VIII:
wicked and pernicious weed.
s when you can never tell what is going to happen.
ne is when a man takes his first drink; and the other is when a woman
test.
lthough it is better to hide our ignorance, this is hard to do when we
.
eetot'lers seem to die the same as others,
of knocking off the beer?
rink not the third glass, which thou canst not tame,
within thee.
ouble.
hat Man made Wine
turneth away company.
e highest
- 168 -

moment when they are warm with wine, but whatever they in this
situation may determine is again proposed...in their cooler
moments...Whatever also they discuss when sober, is always a second
ter they have been drinking.
Sterne
time examined af
Cf.
rink wine, and live here blitheful while ye may;
e too late is, live to-day.
hey draw beer, indeed, but yet they differ, Joan;
pray thee let me and my fellow have a haire of the dog that bit us last
eople forget you had to explain beer styles 50 times a night. It was like
ne on the Santa Fe Trail - a lot of boulders to move.
e a beer I want it to fit exactly into style. Who the hell are
ou to try to create your own style? Those styles have been defined over
I've developed a really relaxed
ttitude about the whole child-rearing thing. I don't cry over spilt milk.
story.
in all men a demand for the superlative, so much so that the
oor devil who has no other way of reaching it attains it by getting
omer:
ine can of their wits the wise beguile,
sage frolic, and the serious smile.
Herrick:
D
The morrow's lif

John Heywood:
The butler and the beer horse both be like one:
They draw beer both; that is truth to bide one.
T
The butler draweth and drinketh beer, the horse drinketh none.

I
night.

John Hickenlooper: (co-founder of Wynkoop Brewing Co.)
P
being the first o

Dave Hoffman:
When I mak
y
200 years.

Daryl Hogue:
I have two kids, and over the years
a
Spilt vodka, that's another

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
There is
p
drunk.

H
Inflaming wine, pernicious to mankind.

W
Make the

Horace:
- 169 -

Bacchus drowns within the bowl
Troubles that corrode the soul.
Bacchus opens the gate of the heart.
No poems can live long or please that are written by water-drinkers.

Cf. Cratinus
Melt me this cold, freely the firelog
O
Two-eared of Sabine make, unlock
W

Who after wine, talks of war's hardships or of poverty?

W
hopes, urges the indolent into battle, lifts the burden form anxious
minds, teaches ne

Now is the time for drinkin
unfettered foot.

Alfred Edward Housman:
Say, for what were hop-yards
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh, many a peer of England br
Livelier liquor than the Muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
s throwing
n hearth, my Thaliarchus, And from crock
ine, with four years a-glowing!
hat does drunkenness not accomplish? It unlocks secrets, confirms our
w arts.
g, now is the time to beat the earth with
meant,
ews

To justify God's ways to man.
k.
pins the heavy world around.
May.
,
or near,
ne so bad,
nd I myself a sterling lad;
Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to thin
Oh, 'tis jesting, dancing, drinking
S

Pass me the can, lad; there's an end of

Oh, I have been to Ludlow fair
And left my necktie God knows where
And carried half way home,
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer;
Then the world seemed no
A
And down in lovely muck I've lain
Happy till I woke again.
- 170 -


The troubles of our proud and angry dust
A
Bear them we can, and if we
Shoulder the sky, my lad, an

Could man be drunk forever
W
Lief should I rou
And lief lie down at nights.

Richard Hovey:
Eleazar Wheelock was a very pious man;
He went into the wilderness to teach the Indian,
With a Gradus ad Parnassum, a Bible, and a dru
A
Eleazar was the facult
Was five hundred gallons of New Englan

William Dean Howles:
Yes, death is at the bottom of the cup,
And every one that lives must drink it up;
And yet between the sparkle at the top
A
There swims e
To ease our hearts of all their other woes.

Victor Hugo:
Upon the first goblet he read this inscription: Monkey wine; upon the
second: Lion wine; upon the third: Sheep wine; upon the fourth: S
wine. These
re from eternity, and shall not fail.
can we must.
d drink your ale.
ith liquor, love and fights,
se at morning
m,
nd five hundred gallons of New England rum.
y, and the whole curriculum
d rum.
nd the black lees where lurks that bitter drop,
nough good liquor, Heaven knows,

wine
four inscriptions expressed the descending degrees of
drunkenness: the first, that which enlivens; the second, that which
which stupefies; the fourth, that which
brutalizes.
Cf. Henry Morton
irritates; the third, that

Huston:
eeled with a steel knife.
God made only water, but man made wine.

John Marcellus
I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.

Aldous Huxley:
Champagne has the taste of an apple p

Washington Irving:
- 171 -

They who drink beer will think beer.

Michael Jackson: (of The Beer Hunter, not the pop star)
The Blue Nuns of the beer world? "Premium Lager" is often the code o
the label
re
behaving-badly of a headbanger or a cosily, anorakish bout of beer-
boring.

"Best before" dates are nonsense. Most beers can only go dow
th
exceptions: the minority of bee
bottle. "Best before" dates do not do justice to them, either.

T
Take that liquor
fool with it.

William James:
The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power t
stimulate the m
e
diminishes, discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, un
and says yes.

If merely "feeling
supremely valid human experience.

Danny Jansen:
The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!

Thomas Jefferson:
The habit of using ardent spirits by men in office has occasioned more
in
I to commence my administration again, the first question I would ask
respecting a candidate for office would be, Does he use ardent spirits?

N
dearness of wine substit
is, in truth, the only antidote to the bane of whisky.

Jerome Klappa Jerome:
Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a hom
home and simple pleasures, one or two
o
enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more
n
s. There is much more to be enjoyed than just the dubious
freshment of the bland, sweetish, international brand of lager, the
nhill from
e moment they leave the brewery. There are, though, important
rs that are designed to mature in the
homas "Stonewall" Jackson:
away; I never touch strong drink. I like it too well to
o
ystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to
arth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour. Sobriety
ites,
good" could decide, drunkenness would be the
jury to the public, and more trouble to me, than all other causes. Were

o nation is drunken where wine is cheap; and none sober where the
utes ardent spirits as the common beverage. It
ely
friends, worth the name; some
ne to love and some one to love you; a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two;
than enough to
- 172 -

d

We drink one another's health and spoil

Elizabeth Joce
Drunkennesse...is the highway t
rink, for thirst is a dangerous thing.
your own.
line:
o hell.

erely talk and never think,
ine is the pleasantest subject in the world to discuss. All its
ith occasions when people are at their best; with
rely meals and the free flow of ideas.

laret is the liquor for boys,


d
g out life's evening gray;
ell,
liss, and which the
repressed a starting tear;
hen the smiling sage reply'd
s been
ontrived by man by which so
Ben Johnson:
As he brews, so shall he drink.
Let those that m
That live in the wild anarchy of drink.
Hugh Johnson:
W
associations are w
relaxation, contentment, leisu
Robert Johnson:
Wine's a traitor not to trust.
Samuel Johnson:
C
port for me; but he who aspired
to be a hero must drink brandy.

Wine gives great pleasure, an
every pleasure is itself a good.

Hermit hoar, in solemn cell,
Wearin
Smite thy bosom, sage, and t
What is b
way?
Thus I spoke; and speaking
sigh'ed;
Scarce
W
Come, my lad, and drink some
beer.

There is nothing which ha
c
much happiness is produced as
by a good tavern or inn.



- 173 -

A man who has been drinkin
n
be pretty well in unison, but he will probably be offensive, or appear
ridiculous, to other people.

Wine gives
a
company has repressed. It only puts in motion what had been locked up
in frost.

I do not say it is wrong to produce self-complacency by drinking; I o
deny that it improves the mind.

W
makes him more pleasing to others...This is one of the disadvantages of
wine, it makes a man mistake words for though

There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking; as there a
fruits that are n

A man who expos
getting drunk.

T
Let us drink
With claret and sherry, theorbo

John Keats:
Souls of poets dead and gone,
What Elysium have ye known,
Happy field or mossy cavern
C
Have ye tippled drink more fine
Than my host's Canary wine?

O' for a draught of vintage! that hath been
Cooled a long age in the deed-delved ear
Tasting of Flora and the country green,
Dance and Provenal song, and sun-burnt m
O, for a beaker full of the w
F
With beaded bubbles winking at the brim,
And purple-stained mouth.

Now I like claret...For really 'tis so fine - it fills one's mouth with a
gushing freshness - then goes down cool and feverless...and lies quiet as
g wine at all freely should never go into a
ew company. With those who have partaken of wine with him he may
a man nothing. It neither gives him knowledge nor wit; it only
nimates a man, and enables him to bring out what a dread of the
nly
ine makes a man better pleased with himself; I do not say that it
ts.
re
ot good until they are rotten.
es himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of
homas Jordan:
and be merry, dance, joke, and rejoice,
and voice!
hoicer than the Mermaid Tavern?
th,
irth!
arm South,
ull of the true, the blushful Hippocrene,

- 174 -

it did in the grape; then, it is as fragrant as the Queen Bee, and the
more e
c
Aladdin about his own enchanted p
s

Wine is sweet only to happy men.

Robert Earl Kee
The road goes on forever but the party never ends.

Jack Kerouac:
I
after a dog, and he will never bite you; drink always before the thirst
and it will never com

Why on eart
mind all the time.

J
Even though a nu
to drink for a living.

Omar Khayyam:
You know, my friends, with what a brave caro
thereal Part of it mounts into the brain - not assaulting the
erebral apartments like a bully in a bad-house...but rather walks like
lace so gently that you do not feel his
tep.
n:
drink eternally. Drink always and ye shall never die. Keep running
,
e upon you.
h arent people continually drunk? I want ecstasy of the
ean Kerr:
mber of people have tried, no one has yet found a way
use
I made a Second Marriage in my house;
to spouse.
the quotes of Fitzgerald
Divorced old barren reason from my bed,
And took the daughter of the vine
See also from his translation of The
called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for
alf weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen
less and drinking more.
ers Dum.
sest-
nd I, poor I, can get no rest.
Rubayat of Omar Khayyam
Sam Kinison:
I
three and a h
grand, you don't have a problem.

Eartha Kitt:
People these days are thinking

Sarah Kemble Knight:
I ask thy Aid, O Potent Rum!
Th charm these wrangling Top
Thou hast their Giddy Brains pos
The man confounded with the Beast-
A
- 175 -

Intoxicate t
O still their Tongues till morning comes!

Jim Koch:
Don't forget to stop and smell the hops.

Chris Laidlaw:
Beer and Rugby are more or less synonymous.
hem with thy fumes;

imself than during his sober intervals.
ll marry a landlord's daughter
sit in the bar,
Ann Landers:
w should be told that sorrow
knows how to swim.
Charles Lamb:
The drinking man is never less h
If ever I marry a wife,
I'
For then I may
And drink cold brandy and water.

People who drink to drown their sorro
Cf. a quote from a song by U2
Walter Savage Landor:
A
kingdom, and not u
confused and perverted.

John Larroquette:
A
Emmy. If I hadn
Belushi right now.

Henry Lawson:
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

Robert E. Lee:
M
temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abst
fr

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why

H
The rapturo
Of drinking at somebody else's expense.
bottle of wine brings as much pleasure as the acquisition of a
nlike it in kind: The senses in both cases are
few years back I was more a candidate for skid row bum than an
't stopped [drinking], I'd be playing handball with John
y experience through life has convinced me that, while moderation and
inence
om spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health.
I never drink it.
enry Sambroke Leigh:
us, wild, and ineffable pleasure
- 176 -


Jay Leno:
I think women get more excited abo
th
get drunk and make a lot of promises you don't keep. You see, men do
that all the time, it's called dating.

V
has a private b
passengers from other planes stopping in for a drink?

S
Cocktails have
disinfectant.
ut New Year's Eve than men. If you
ink about it, you can see why. What do you do on New Year's Eve? You
irgin Airlines announced that their new giant double-decker airplane
ar. It's a private bar? Is there a big problem with
hane Leslie:
all the disagreeability without the utility of a

or. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.
e who drink. At least they have something to blame
Ross Levy:
to pursue the one activity that truly
hairy girls.
always wake up at the crack of ice.
pays to get drunk with the best people.
drink.
e
y Scotch, I say, "I'm
irsty, not dirty."
he noise.
i Yeh:
runk once in a while.
Oscar Levant:
I don't drink liqu
I envy peopl
everything on.
Drinking provides a beautiful excuse
gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat,
Joe E. Lewis:
I

It

I drink to forget I

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to m
is Dean Martin.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with m
th

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand t

L
It is good to get d
What else is there to do?

Wendy Liebman:
The only way to have safe sex is to abstain. From drinking.
- 177 -


Abraham Lincoln:
If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts
will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other
T
blooded to fall into this vice. The demon of intemperance ever seems to
have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and generosi

It has long been
the use of a bad thing, but to the abuse

Vachel Lindsay:
Barrel-house kings, with feet unstable,
S
Pounded on
Beat an empty barrel with the handle of a broo

Anita Loos:
Always go to a solitary drinker for th

Richard Lovelace:
When thirsty grief in wi
W
Fishes, that tipple in the deep,
Know no such liberty.

Martin Luth
tankards. Strong beer is the milk of

John Lyly:
Long quaffing maketh a short l

Mrs. Lyon:
Yet the doctors they do a'gree,
T
Saul! quoth Neil, 'twill spoil my glee,
If they part me and whisky, O.

S
It's useless to hold
drunk, or running for office.

William Maginn:
When a man is drunk, it is no matter upon what he has got drunk.

R
class.
here seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-
ty.
recognized that the problems with alcohol relate not to
of a good thing.
agged and reeled and pounded on the table,
the table,
m.
e truth!
ne we steep
hen healths and draughts go free,
er: We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our
the old.
ife.
hat whisky's no the drink for me.
hirley MacLaine:
a person to anything he says while he's in love,
abbit Maranville:
- 178 -

There is much les
quit drinking on May 24, 1927.

Phil Markowski:
I have
w
We have more freedom t
over.

Duke of Marlb
No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.

Don Marquis:
s drinking now than there was before 1927, because I
no doubt that America is the best place to be a brewer because
e don't have the burden of having to carry on a long brewing tradition.
o be creative and can gather influences from all
ourough:
Drink helps us to penetrate the veil; it gives us glimpses of the Magi of
hey sit weaving their spells and sowing their seeds of
.
an old stomach
than a new resolve


ater,
st
ost Perfect State is here
hen the kind of old age each person wants is possible to him. Of
morality to the bitter end.
ou want to cry into your beer, and denies you the

hey say that you may always know the grave of a Virginian as, from
where he
ermometer at 100 degrees F. [37 C], one of the most delightful and
ented, and may be drunk with
creation where t
incantation to the flowing mind
reforms more whisky drinkers
Quoting Archy the cockroach
Between the years of ninety-two and a hundred and two, we shall be the
ribald, useless, drunken, outcast person we have always wished to be.
We shall have a long white beard and long white hair; we shall not walk
at all, but recline in a wheelchair and bellow for alcoholic beverages; in
the winter we shall sit by the fire with our feet in a bucket of hot w
a decanter of corn whisky near at hand, and write ribald songs again
organized society...We shall know that the Alm
w
course, all of you may not want the kind we want...some of you may
prefer prunes and

Prohibition makes y
beer to cry into.

Frederick Marryat:
T
the quantity of julep he has drunk, mint invariably springs up
has been buried.

I must...descant a little upon the mint-julep, as it is, with the
th
insinuating potations that ever was inv
equal satisfaction when the thermometer is as low as 70 degrees [21 C].
- 179 -


M
You make any number of promises when you have been drinking all
evening. Next morning you won't keep one

Afer is a sober man; he does not drink. What is that to me? I commend
a slave for temperance, not a friend.

It is a mistake
always drinks till next morning.

Dean Martin:
Y

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
artial:
. Drink in the morning, Pollio.

to think that Acerra reeks of yesterday's liquor: Acerra
ou're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

. Imagine getting up in the morning and
knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.
I'd hate to be a teetotaler
Cf. Frank Sinatra
Groucho Marx:
I was T. T. until prohibition.

John Masefield:
So I'm for drinking honestly, and

G
And if I drink oblivi
So shorten I the stature of my soul.

T
Prohibition may be a di
hold water.

M
Life is a wa
and have the time of your life.

F
I like to say dark beer is
about it, but few people actually go.

W
To drink a gla
a stagecoach when you can travel by the Orient Express.
dying in my boots.
erald Massey:
on of a day
homas L. Masson:
sputed theory, but none can say that it doesn't
ichelle Mastrolacasa:
ste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time
. X. Matt:
a little bit like going to church: Everybody talks
. Somerset Maugham:
ss of sherry when you can get a dry martini is like taking
- 180 -


- 181 -

Fred Maytag:
- 182 -

It
knowledgeable and start to talk with a highfalutin' vocabulary. But you
can only go so far with beer, and I've always liked that.

Charles McCabe
's very hard to get pretentious about beer. You can become
:
inston Churchill's W habit of guzzling a quart or two a day of good
saved civilization from the Luftwaffe, Hegelian logic,
ourt:
I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since the invention of the funnel.
Shane McGowan:
me, I walk into a pub and drink 15 pints of
ehri:
rd for the pedant to solve
a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.
wine, but in the nature of the drinker.
ve made it a rule never to e a drink
f dire
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on
's 5 or
while watching the game; getting so
n my na
illay:
cognac is what
Wagnerian love-deaths, and potato pancakes.

Malachy McC

When I need a light inside
beer.

M
Each subtlety ha
I found a drop of wine would dissolve.

Herman Melville:
Better sleep with

Menander:
Count not the cups; not therein lies excess,
In

Henry Louis Mencken:
I'
after dark.

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to drink with - even
if he drank.

A man loses his sense o
after four kisses.

Mike Miles:
drink by daylight and never to refus
ction after four drinks; a woman loses hers
6 beers
me. These are
kittens? Ha! For me, it
drunk I've forgotte
a few of MY favorite things.

Edna St. Vincent M
I drank at every vine.
- 183 -


I came upon n
So w

A. A. Milne:
Of beer an e
b

John Milton:
Bacchus, that first from out
Crush'd the sweet poison of mis

Lords are lordliest in their wine.

And when night darken
Belial, flown with insolence and w

Henry Mitchell:
Never drink from your finger bowl - it con

Molire:
Ah, bottle, my friend, why do you empty yourself?

Charles Montague:
Burgundy was the winiest wine, the central, essential,
th
earth.

S
A serpent lu
Guileful and strong as him who erst betray'd
The world's first parents in their bowers of joy.

J
If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar
with a mirro

Thomas Moore:
Come, send round the wine, and leave points of belief
T
Wreath the bowl
With flowers of soul,
The brightest Wit can find us;
We'll take flight
Tow'rds hea
The last was like the first.
o wine
onderful as thirst.

nthusiast has said that it could never be bad, but that some
rands might be better than others.
the purple grape
usd wine.
s the streets, then wander forth the sons of
ine.
tains only water.
and typical wine,
e soul and greatest common measure of all the kindly wines of the
usan Moodie:
rks within the ruby wine,
ohn Mooney:
r.
o simpleton sages and reasoning fools.
ven to-night,
- 184 -

A

Here's to a friend. He knows you well and likes you just the same. M
we have more and more friends, and need them less and less. Pour deep
th
Camaraderie!

Rick Moranis:
M
and going to hea
this sucks!
As Bob McKenzie in
S
You see, madam
cares as well as the senses of your guests to oblivion.

Mike Moriarity:
A
for fifteen cents. Unfortunately these are the very places that are most
corrupted by TV. No more real thinking!
e

Christopher Morley:
A drink has been arranged and will shortly take

That faint but s
desirability of a cocktail.

J
Its like gambling someh
dont know where youre going to end up the next day
g

Henry Vollam Morton:
One drink of wine, and you act like a monkey; two drin
li
you be
nd leave dull earth behind us.
ay
e rosy wine and drink a toast with me; Here's to three: Thee, Wine, and
e and my brother always said drowning in beer would be like dying
ven. Now he's gone, I got two soakers...This isn't heaven,
the movie Strange Brew
ydney Owenson Morgan:
, your wine is like the nepenthe of Helen, for it gives the
bar or a tavern is a place where you can buy a glass of draught beer
No more real drinking! The
nd of an era!
place.
ensitive enteric expectancy which suggests the
im Morrison:
ow. You go out for a night of drinking and you
. It could work out
ood or it could be disastrous. Its like the throw of the dice.
ks, and you strut
ke a peacock; three drinks, and you roar like a lion; and four drinks -
have like a pig.
Cf. Victor Hugo
s not large, but I drink out of my own.
Alfred de Musset:
My glass i

Gerald Nachman:
- 185 -

The best thing about a cocktail party is being asked to it.

O
Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.

T
A tingle remarkably pleasant,
A
I wish that I had one present.
There is something about a Martini,
E
And to tell you
It is not the vermouth-
I think that perhaps it's th

George Jean Na
I drink to make other people interesting.

Nicharchus:
Bound to die? Were I a gymnast 'twould be the same?
Why mind then if by gout I drink myself dead-lame?
Either
W

Jack Nicholson:
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

Nietzsche:
T
one's self the appe
of intoxication.

Where does one not find that bland
the spirit!
gden Nash:
here is something about a Martini;
yellow, a mellow Martini;
re the dining and dancing begin,
the truth,
e gin.
than:
way be carried? So, wine - let lamps be lit!
hile life still laughs, we'll make a merry night of it!
here is a universal need to exercise some kind of power, or to create for
arance of some power, if only temporarily, in the form
degeneration which beer produces in

vity or perception to exist, a
ensable: intoxication.

ns
to call your
For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic acti
certain physiological precondition is indisp
Conan O'Brien:
According to the 'New York Daily News', bars all across the city are
installing breathalyzer vending machines telling people whether they've
had too much to drink. Apparently, if you're drunk, the machine war
you not to drive; and if you're really drunk, it warns you not
- 186 -

ex-girlfriend.
ders.
the holiday season is to be drunk. This
Year's Eve, when you get so drun
ut universally held opinion that anyone
coholic.
Jos Ortega y Gasset:
T
has a cause, th

G
In the matter of
agitation has been a slight i

John Louis O'Su
A torchlight procession marching d

Kevin C. O'Higgins:
When I think of the hardship involved in having only seven hours to
drink on a Sunday my soul shud

William Oldys:
Busy, curious, thirsty fly,
Drink with me, and drink as I.

Joseph O'Leary:
Whisky, drink divine!
Why should drivelers bore us
With the praise of wine
While we've thee before us?

P. J. O'Rourke:
The proper behavior all through
drunkenness culminates on New k you
kiss the person you're married to.

Never refuse wine. It is an odd b
who doesn't drink must be an al

he drunken man's happiness is blind. Like everything in the world it
e alcohol; but it has no motive.
eorge Orwell:
drink, the only result of a century of "temperance"
ncrease in hypocrisy.
llivan:
own your throat.

When the mint is in the liquor and its fragrance on the glass,
ollection that can never, never pass.
vid:
e, sorrow and worry take wing.
ive a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a
!
Clarence Ousley:
It breathes a rec

O
When there is plenty of win

Bill Owen:
G
lifetime

- 187 -

Clementine Paddleford:
B
another beer.

Dorothy Parker:
I like to drink martinis
Two at the
T
Four, I'

Three highballs

They resumed frie
liquor, before more liquor drew them in

Blaise Pascal:
Too much and too little wine. Give hi
him too much, the same.

Louis Pasteur:
Wine is the most healthful

Tom Pastorius: (president of Pennsylvania Brewing)
It's time they used their imagination and came up with another th
tax. Beer is not a sin. Beer is good for you and every
b

Walter Pater:
I hardly know wherein philosophy and win
th
merchants; some
short measure.

T
Not drunk is he w
Can rise along and still drink more
But drunk is he who prostrate lies
Without the power to drink or rise.
A
So fill me a bum
"Heeltap" is slang for the last sip of liquor left in a glass. Often,
people who left any liquor in their glasses were calle
eer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is
very most.
hree, I'm under the table;
m under my host.
, and I think I'm St. Francis of Assisi.
ndly relations only in the brief magnanimity caused by
to new battle.
m none, he cannot find truth; give
and most hygienic of beverages.
ing to
body should drink
eer.
e are alike unless it be in this,
at the philosophers exchange their ware for money, like the wine-
of them with a mixture of water or worse, or giving
homas Peacock:
ho from the floor
heeltap! A heeltap! I never could bear it!
per, a bumper of claret!

d upon to "take
off the heeltap." The original meaning of heeltap was a peg in the
- 188 -

heel of a sh
finished. A "bumper" is a glass that is full to the rim.
T
to prevent it.

find
oe, which the cobbler removed when the shoe was
here are two reasons for drinking: one is, when you are thirsty, to cure
it; the other, when you are not thirsty,
Cyril Pearl:
If you carry out a blindfold test...you'll
that the beer snob is just as much
a galah as the wine snob.
:
All excess is ill, but drunkenness is of
the worst sort. It spoils health,
. It
The smaller the drink, the clearer the
head, and the cooler the blood.
Samuey Pepys:
Thanks be to God. Since my leaving the
drinking of wine, I do find myself much
d my business better,
ss time lost in idle company.
om Perignon:
!
champagne.
:

Champagne and orange juice is a great drink. The orange improves the
champagne. The champagne definitely improves the orange.

William Penn
dismounts the mind and unmans men
reveals secrets, is quarrelsome,
lascivious, impudent, dangerous and
bad.

better, and do min
a

Walter Percy:
Bourbon does for me what the piece of cake did for Proust.

Antonio Perez:
Wine is an old man's milk.

D
Come quickly, I am tasting stars
Attributed to him when he supposedly discovered
Johnston Peter
I really don't drink, but I'll split a quart with you.

nd do spend less money, and le
Philip, Duke of Edinburgh:
- 189 -


Plato:
Boys should abstain from all use of wine until their eighteenth hear, for
it

He was a wise man who invented beer.

Titus Maccius Plautus:
T
wrestler.

Pliny:
It has become quite a common proverb that
vino veritas.)

Edgar Allen Poe:
Filled with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber,
Through the chamber of my brain -
Q
Come to life and fade aw
What care I how time advances?
I am drinking ale today.


is wrong to add fire to fire.
his is the great fault of wine; it first trips up the feet: it is a cunning
in wine there is truth. (In

uaintest thoughts - queerest fancies -
ay;
Bill Pollman: (Bartender at the Fox & Hounds Tavern in St. Louis)
g conversations. My biggest job is to
introduce people and give them some commonality.
wl
soul.
tephen Potter:
ule is to state that the bouquet is better than the taste,
illiam Powell:
ng is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking.
Bars are about people havin

Alexander Pope:
There St. John mingles with my friendly bo
The feast of reason and the flow of

S
A good general r
and vice versa.

Richard Porson:
I went to Frankfurt, and got drunk
With the most learn'd professor, Brunck;
I went to Worms, and got more drunken
With that more learn'd professor, Ruhnken.

W
The important thi
- 190 -

Now, a Manha
s
As Nick Charles in The Thin Man
Terry Pratchett:
T
having them.

George Dennison Prentice:
W
blush upon his cheek, his liquor generally does it instead.

Matthew Prior:
They never taste who always drink.
In
Fell adder

Roger Protz
Many people tell me they have visited the US, fa
drinkable and turned in desperation to imp
T
wave or "spe
ales of remarkable quality.

Franois Rabelais:
There are...more old drunkards than old physicians.

I drink no more th

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drin

Sir Walter Raleigh:
It
for all other vanit
shake off the delight of beastlines
the more he will delight in it, and the older he gro
be subject to it, for it dulleth the spirits
doth the old tree.

Paul Ram
Between each wine and each dish one should drink a mouthful of pur
fresh water, preferably not (or only slightly) aerated.

ttan you always shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-
tep time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time.
here are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not
hen a man has been intemperate so long that shame no longer paints a
the flowers that wreathe the sparkling bowl
s hiss and poisonous serpents roll.
iled to find anything
orted Bass and Guinness.
hey are unaware that some 400 (now nearly 1,500) micro, craft, new
cialty" brewers now operate, many of them concentrating on
an a sponge.
k.
were better for a man to be subject to any vice than to drunkenness,
ies and sins are recovered, but a drunkard will never
s; for the longer it possesseth a man,
weth the more he shall
and destroyeth the body, as ivy
ain (a French doctor):
e
- 191 -

T
When totally d
Mitch Ratliffe:
A
human history - with the possible exceptions of ha

Gregory Ratoff:
J
you weren't a b
nothing but a common drunk.

Ravenscroft:
N
And what gave thee th
Cinnamon and Ginger, Nutmeg and Cloves,
And that gave me my jolly red Nose.

Agnes Repplier:
If
his general emptiness is ascertained, his friends invariably credit him
with a host of shining qualities which, we are given to understand, lie
balked and frustrated by his one

Friedrich Wilhelm Riese:
Where else can you find you
h
and hurrah the malt, the
In the opera Martha
Edwin Arlington Robinson:
Miniver Cheevy, born too
Scratched his head and
Miniver coughed and called it f
A

ony Randall:
isgusted with the human race, I become a social drinker.
As Alexander Coffman in Let's Make Love
computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in
ndguns and tequila.
ohn [Huston], if you weren't the son of my beloved friend Walter, and if
rilliant writer and a magnificent director, you'd be
ose, Nose, Nose, Nose?
at jolly red Nose?
a man be discreet enough to take to hard drinking in his youth, before


unfortunate weakness.
such good beer? So brown and stout and
ealthful too! The porter's health I drink to you! Yes, hurrah the hops,
y are life's flavors and life's salt!
late,
kept on thinking;
ate,
nd kept on drinking.
Earl Rochester:
n),
erformed slightly, but go
about it with all due deliberation and care, as holy priests to sacrifice, or
performance of burglary and shop-lifting.
e about you) travel from
If you have a grateful heart (which is a miracle amongst you statesme
show it by directing the bearer to the best wine in town, and pray let not
this highest point of sacred friendship be p
as discreet thieves to the wary
Let your well-discerning palate (the best judg
- 192 -

cellar to cellar and the
fo

Karyl Roosevelt:
D
lot at poker.

L. Rosenstiel:
Brandy, whisky - liquor generally - can
- like sugar, salt, and many other
b

Bertrand Russell:
D
negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness.

I

George Saintsbury:
All alcoholic drinks, rightly used, are good for body and soul alike; but
as a restorative of both there is nothing like brandy.

Scaliger:
The sot Loserus is drunk twice a day,
Bibinus only once; now of these say,
Which may a man the greatest drunkard call?
Bibinus still, for he's drunk once and all.

L. Schefer:
T

A
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

Sir Walter Sc
A
to itself, and that is what few things can do.

Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with g

Scott and Smith:
"B
"Taprooms" and "taverns" and "pubs" are absurd;
G
A respectable name like "beverage room."

n from piece to piece till it has lighted on wine fit
r its noble choice and my approbation.
runks are rarely amusing unless they know some good songs and lose a
be quite beneficial except that it
things - if taken in excess liquor can
e very harmful.
runkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely
am as drunk as a lord, but then, I am one, so what does it matter?
hey make much of our drinking, but never think of our thirst.
rnold Schwarzenegger:
ott:
glass of good wine is a gracious creature, and reconciles poor morality
reatness.
ar" is a nasty, a horrible word,
ive us a name with a resonant boom,
- 193 -

Seinfeld:
C
every time we go out to a nice restaura
a
menu?

J
'Tis not the drinking that is to be blamed, but the excess.

Seneca:
D

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

Wine kindles anger.

Pete Sermond:
If
guest, present thirst, future thirst, the goodness of the wine, and any
other excuse you choose!

William Shakespeare:
Drink...provokes and unprovokes, it provokes th
a
equivocator with lechery
and it takes him off.

O God! that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away
th
transform ourselves into beasts.

Come, come, good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used;
exclaim no more against it.

Give me a bowl of wine:
I
Nor cheer of mind, that I was wont to have.

A
A soldier's but a man;
A life's but a span;
Why then let a soldier drink.

Good wine needs no bush.
an't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded
nt that we have no idea what we
re doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the
ohn Selden:
runkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.
I remember right there are five excuses for drinking: the visit of a
e desire, but it takes
way the performance. Therefore much drink may be said to be an
: it makes him and it mars him; it sets him on
eir brains; that we should with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause,
have not that alacrity of spirit,
nd let me the canakin clink:
- 194 -

The "bush" is a vine hung over a bottle of wine to advertise it.
What is meant here is that good wine needs no such ornament - its
quality speaks for itself. Cf. Syrus.
gora
great gap of time

t makes him a fool, the second mads him, and a
ome, thou monarch of the vine,
pink eye!
up us, till the world go round!
known by, let
s call thee devil!
A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into
e foolish and dull and crudy vapours
which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble
ble shapes...The second property of your excellent
of pusillanimity and
owardice; but the sherris warms it and makes it course from the
n,
om, man, to arm; and
en the vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their
courage; and this valor comes of sherris.
devil.

mall beer.
would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
d unhappy brains for drinking.
Give me to drink mandra
That I might sleep out this
My Anthony is away.
One draught above hea
third drowns him.

C
Plumpy Bacchus with
In thy fats our cares he drown'd,
With thy grapes our hairs be crown'd:
C

O thou invisible spirit of wine! If thou has no name to be
u

If I had a thousand sons, the first human principle I would teach them is
to foreswear thin potations.

the brain; dries me there all th
fiery and delecta
sherris is, the warming of the blood; which, before cold and settled, left
the liver white and pale, which is the badge
c
inwards to the parts extreme. It illumineth the face, which, as a beaco
gives warning to all the rest of this little kingd
th
captain, the heart, who, great and puffed up with this retinue, doth any
deed of

Every inordinate cup is unblessed and the ingredient is a

There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny; the
three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to drink
s

I

I have very poor an

- 195 -

Potations pottle-

A cup of hot wine with not a drop of allaying Tiber in't.
deep.

am strong and lusty;
For in my youth I never did apply
us liquors in my blood.
k, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes
nd ale?
g; so full of valor that they
at the ground for kissing of
et.
hat three things does drink especially provoke?
urine.
ale is a dish for a king.
general joy o' the whole table.
u, walk with you, and so
you, nor pray with you.
Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler.
ch we endure the operation of life.
A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows.

s at eleven at night that no sane person
would do at eleven in the morning.
my father he kept ladling gin down
her throat till she came to so sudden that she bit the bowl off the spoon.
Alcohol produces artificial happiness, artificial courage, artificial gaiety,
Though I look old, yet I
Hot and rebellio

I am falser than vows made in wine.

Dost thou thin
a

I told you, sir, they were red-hot with drinkin
smote the air, for breathing in their faces, be
their fe

Macduff: W
Porter: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and

A quart of

I drink to the

I will buy with you, sell with you, talk with yo
following; but I will not eat with you, drink with

And do as adversaries do in law,

George Bernard Shaw:

Alcohol is the anesthesia by whi


Alcohol is a very necessary article...It makes life bearable to millions of
people who could not endure their existence if they were quite sober. It
enables Parliament to do thing

They all thought she was dead; but

- 196 -

artificia
would otherwise be unable to endure their condition. To them alcohol is
a blessing. Unfortunately, as it acts by destroying conscience, self-
control, and the normal functioning of the body, it produces crime,
disease, and
l self-satisfaction, thus making life bearable for millions who

degradation.

o sit at the end of the day and drink wine with
friends, or substitutes for friends?
Drink to the lass;

rant stood my me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was
d by each other.
dward Rowland Sill:
l's brink, let the thirsty think, what they say in Japan:
e drink
takes the man!
What is better than t

R. B. Sheridan:
A bumper of good liquor
Will end a contest quicker
Than justice, judge or vicar.
Let the toast pass;
I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass!
William T. Sherman:
G
drunk, and now we stan

Toots Shor:
Anybody that can't get drunk by midnight ain't trying.

E
At the punch-bow
first the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then th
Cf. a Japanese proverb
Homer Simpson:
Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd
ur own mother just to get one.
ou and you don't like me - so let's just do
with beer.
mindless happiness when I had beer all
n to all of life's problems.
art's a vampire, beer kills brain cells.
Now let's go back to that--building--thingie--where our beds and TV--is.
step over yo

All right, brain, I don't like y
this and I'll get back to killing you

Just think, I turned to a cult for
along.

Alcohol, the cause and solutio

Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: B
- 197 -


I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

rned water into wine, he obviously wasn't thinking of

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
When that guy tu
us Duff drinkers.
Frank Sinatra:
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Cf. Dean Martin
Sydney Smith:
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Brittania? What
event more awfully important to an English
brewhouse?
Herman "Jackrabbit" Smith-Jo
drink too much. Then again, don't drink t
ad men live that they may eat an
en eat and drink t
se in saying that it's all right in moderation.
ave arsenic in moderatio
It is funny the two things men are proudest of are the things that any
nd
colony than the erection of its first

hanssen:
oo
d drink,
hat they
o
n?...Wine is
Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't
little.

Socrates:
B
whereas good m
may live.

Lord Soper:
I don't think alcohol is the Devil in solution,
but it causes a great deal of misery. It is n
u
Shall we h
the juice of the grape gone bad.
John C. Squire:
But I'm not so think as you drunk I am.
Stanlicus:
He who drinks one glass a day
Will live to die some other way.
Gertrude Stein:
man can do and doing does in the same way, that is, being drunk a
being the father of their son.
- 198 -

Sir Richard Steele:
I will come within a pint of wine.
A little in drink,
Sterne:
T
their state twice; that is, once drunk and once sober: Drunk - that their
councils might not want of vigor; and sober - t
d
but at all times your faithful husband.
he ancient Goths of Germany...[debated] everything of importance to
hat they might not want
iscretion.
Cf. Herodotus
t-
o-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
evil had done for the rest-
's a long time between drinks.
ead
Eliza "Mother" Stewart:
omless pit has such influence to
not
Champagne is a great levelerer - leveler. It makes you my equal.

Both quotes are from the move The Philadelphia Story
cannot eat but little meat;
ut sure I think that I can drink
hat I go bare, take ye no care,
-cold:
Robert Louis Stevenson:
Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Ches
Y
Drink and the d
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

It
Quoting a governor of South Carolina, possibly John M. Moreh
Wine is bottled poetry.

No power on Earth or above the bott
terrorize and make cowards of men as the liquor power. Satan could
have fallen on a more potent instrument with which to thrall the world.
Alcohol is king!

James Stewart:
Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the
back, and champagne's a heavy mist before my eyes.
John Still:
I
My stomach is not good;
B
With him that wears a hood.
T
I am nothing a
- 199 -

I stuff my skin so full within

Back and side go
Both foot and hand go cold;
But belly, God sent the good ale en

Jonathan Swift:
B
Much drinking, little thinking.
T
This wine should be eaten, it is too good to be drunk.
P
He injures the absent
Y
Cf.
Of jolly good ale and old.
bare, go bare,
ough,
Whether it be new or old.
etter belly burst than good liquor be lost.
averns are places where madness is sold by the bottle.
ublius Syrus:
who quarrels with a drunken man.
ou need not hang up the ivy-branch over the wine that will sell.
Shakespeare
To dispute with a drunkard is to debate with an empty house.
Booth Tarkington:
hat will be believed of any man whatsoever, and
to drink.
ir William Temple:
ss for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good
ine is wont to show the mind of man.
s as much as you do.
unter S. Thompson:
anity to anyone, but
There are two things t
one of them is that he has taken

Robert Tefton:
Drunkenness: A temporary but popular cure for Catholicism.

S
The first gla
humor, and the fourth for mine enemies.

Theognis:
W

Dylan Thomas:
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drink

H
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or ins
they've always worked for me.
- 200 -


G

ood people drink good beer.
Flying Dog Brewery named their Gonzo Imperial Porter in his
honor.
H
Water is the only drin

James Thurber:
It
be amused by it

Some American writers who have known each other for years have nev
met in the daytime or when both were sober.

O

It takes that je ne sais quoi which we call sophistication for a woman to
be magnificent in a drawing-room w
s

Paul Tomkins:
If
under your pillow, the Beer Fairy will leave you a k

Charlotte Elizabeth To
Why, it seems every man as gets his w
shilling in drink, at the tap w
p
must do like the
W
No alcoholic l
premises not being licensed for this added stimulant. Mr. Dwyer i
had never sough
enry David Thoreau:
k for a wise man.
's a naive domestic burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll
s presumption.
er
ne martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
hen her faculties have departed but
he herself has not yet gone home.
you enjoy your alcohol, remember this: If you put your old, rotten liver
eg.
nna:
ages is expected to lay out a
here they wait for the money. 'Tis all of a
iece with the rest of the robbery plan; but a man can't help himself - he
rest.
illiam Trevor:
iquor was ever served in the Ballroom of Romance, the
n fact
t a license for any of his premises, knowing that
romance and alcohol were difficult commodities to mix, especially in a
Mark Twain:
ger for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman

opper and is the saving of him.
onducted licensed liquor traffic
is to sobriety.
dignified ballroom.
Give an Irishman la
is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whisky polishes the
c

What marriage is to morality, a properly c
- 201 -


Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
ater taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.
hat, when drunk, one sees in other women, one sees in Garbo sober.
ple plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will
ave no revolution among them.
eaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.
and unfair,
he vintners that put water in our wine.
beer: Frothy on top, dregs on the bottom,
the middle excellent.
When the wine goes in, strange things come out.
Who loves not women, wine and song
is whole life long.
Andrey Voznesensky:
ink, they spill.
r
Tom Waits:
king problem except when I can't get one.
has been drinking, not me.


W

Kenneth Tynan:
W

Queen Victoria:
Give my peo
h

Gore Vidal:
T

Franois Villon:
These traitorous thieves, accursd
T

Voltaire:
Englishmen are like their own

Johann von Schiller:

Johann Heinrich Voss:
Remains a fool h
The above quote is often wrongly ascribed to Martin Luther.
Where people dr

Brock Wagner:
If you are doing this just because you want to make money, your bee
has no soul.

I don't have a drin

The piano
Thomas Warton:
Thus too, the matchless bard, whose lay resounds
- 202 -

T
Of lonesome

All-powerful Ale! Whose sorrow-soothing sweets
Oft I repeat in vacant afternoon.

W

Denzel Washington:
I made a commitment to compl
might hamper me from getting my
floodgates of goodness have o

George Washington:
I use no por
a

Evelyn Waugh:
Beer is acceptable
v
overpraised in the immediate past by poets of the scho
and Bellow. It is a fine honest staple rather than a theme for p

B
that have to do with
sluggish and urinating frequently?

Wine is a bride who brings a great dowry to the man who woos her
persistently and gracefu

It is difficult to enjoy a good wine in a bad glass.

Charles Henry Webb:
Turn out more ale, turn up the light;
I

John Webster:
Is not old wine wholesomest?

he Splendid Shilling's praise, in nightly gloom
garret, pined for cheerful ale.
ith British ale improving British worth.
etely cut out drinking and anything that
mind and body together. And the
pened upon me-spiritually and financially.
ter...in my family, but such as is made in America: both these
rticles may now be purchased of an excellent quality.
very late at night at the end of a party. It has many
aluable functions but I cannot help thinking that it has been a little
ol of Chesterton
oetry.
eer commercials are so patriotic: 'Made the American Way.' What does
America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling
lly; she turns her back on a rough approach.
will not go to bed tonight.
John Welsh:
I'm going to buy a boat...do a little traveling, and I'm going to be
drinking beer!
Welsh is a Brooklyn bus driver who won $30 million in the New
York state lottery.
- 203 -

Rudyard Wheatley:
I've always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap.

Oscar Wilde:
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
The above quote is occasionally ascribed to W. C. Fields.
Now and then it is a joy to have one's table red with wine and roses.

Kaiser Wilhelm:
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

Tennessee Williams:
A drinking man's someone who wants to forget he isn't still young an'
believ g.
a system that we live in. Liquor is one way out an' death's
e other.
Wilson:
ladness, don't forget
hat water only makes you wet.
was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in
ry for poor old Corky that I hadn't the heart to touch
y breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.
t of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.
esses made out of gunny sacks, but who
nce and heat, are distilled here to a fiery,
ust behind my shoulder-blades some dry thing, wide-
yed, gently closes, gradually lulls itself to sleep. This is rapture. This is
in

Mendacity is
th

Larry Leon
While beer brings g
T

P. G. Wodehouse:
It
advance of medical thought.
I was so darned sor
m
Alexander Wollcott:
I must get ou
Morrison Wood:
It is, of course, entirely possible to cook without using wine. It is also
possible to wear suits and dr
wants to?
Virginia Woolf:
Wine has a drastic, an astringent taste. I cannot help wincing as I
drink. Ascent of flowers, radia
yellow liquid. J
e
relief.
- 204 -

Lawrence Wright:
Man in all periods has been willing to walk miles for a drink, but not for
a bath.
S
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coi

X
For drink, there was beer which was very strong when not mingled w
water, but was agreeabl
w
the barley swim.

William Butler Yeats:
W
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know
Before we grow o

The worst thing abo
a

I
and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroye
d

A
A journalist invents his lies, and rams them d
S


tephen Wright:
ncidence?
enophon:
ith
e to those who were used to it. They drank this
ith a reed, out of the vessel that held the beer, upon which they saw
ine comes in at the mouth
for truth
ld and die.
ut some men is that when they are not drunk they
re sober.
have certainly seen more men destroyed by the desire to have a wife
d by
rink or harlots.
statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by note.
own your throat.
o stay at home and drink your beer and let the neighbors vote.
Henny Youngman:
, I gave up reading.
ks
ght out of the bottle.
iniature cocktail: You drink one and in a miniature out.
ime is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
rank Zappa:
- it
elps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear
When I read about the evils of drinking

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drin
ri

M

Catherine Zandonella:
T

F
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline
h
weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
- 205 -


MISCELLANEOUS


T

A
pleasure.


A
- Ecclesiastes

A man hath no better thing under the sun, than
a
- Ecclesiastes

ght, till wine inflame them.
it is red, when it giveth his color in
t. At the last it biteth like a serpent
ready to perish, and win
ri
ging.
HE BIBLE
new friend is as new wine: when it is old, thou shalt drink it with
- Ecclesiastes
feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry.
to eat, and to drink,
nd to be merry.
Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning, that they may follow
strong drink; that continue until ni
- Isaiah

Look not thou upon the wine when
the cup, when it moveth itself arigh ,
and stingeth like an adder.
- Proverbs

Give strong drink unto him that is e unto those
that be of heavy hearts. Let him d nk, and forget his poverty, and
remember his misery no more.
- Proverbs

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is ra
- Proverbs

- 206 -

W
babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath
T
- Proverbs

W
- Proverbs

Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick


L
that are asleep to speak.


Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake
thine other
ho hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath contentions? who hath
redness of eyes?
hey that tarry long at the wine.
ine that maketh glad the heart of man.
of love.
- Song of Solomon
ike the best wine...that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those
- Song of Solomon
and
infirmities.
- I Timothy
THE APOCRYPHA
ow exceeding strong is wine! It causeth all men to err who drink it.
ine and women will make men of understanding to fall away.
HE QUR'AN
berry of the grape.
. - Ashanti

look at a drunken man
hen you are sober. - Chinese
t after wine dribbles in. - Chinese
oroughly sure. - Czech


H

W

T

There is a devil in every

PROVERBS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
Good wine praises itself. - Arabian

When the cock is drunk, he forgets about the hawk

Pretty wife, old wine - many friends. - Bulgarian

If you want a plan by which to stop drinking,
w

Truth dribbles ou

The government will fall that raises the price of beer. - Czech

A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be
th
- 207 -


What th
-
e sober man has in his heart, the drunken man has on his lips.
Danish
Cf. Steve Fergosi
hen the beer is in the man, is the wisdom in the can?
mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. - Ancient
ood ale is meat, drink and cloth. - English
English
ght sober. - Flemish
expensive. - French
- French
r, except the joy of the wine in being
He who drinks a little too much
drinks much too much. - German

y is lead in the morning, silver
at noon, gold at night. - German

In wine there is wisdom. In beer
there is strength. In water there is
bacteria. - German

The brewery is the best drug store.
Take the drink for the thirst that is
W

A
Egyptian

Cider smiles in your face, and then cuts your throat. - English

G

C
Beer on cider makes a bad rider.

Good ale will make a cat speak. - English

What a man says drunk he has

There are more old drunkards than old doctors. - French

It

Eat at plea

Nothing equals the joy o
drunk. - French
Brand
- German

yet to come. - Irish
ider on beer makes good cheer,
-
thou
is only the first bottle that is
sure, drink by measure.
f the drinke


- 208 -


Sweet is the wine but sour is the paym

Thirst is the end of drinking, and sorrow is the end of
Ir

W

What whiskey will not cure,

Old wine and friends i

When wine sinks, words swim

It is the man who drinks the first bottl
drinks the first, and finall
J
Cf.
ent. - Irish
drunkenness. -
ish
hen the liquor was gone the fun was gone. - Irish
there is no cure for. - Irish
mprove with age. - Italian
. - Italian
e of sak; then the second bottle
y it is the sak that drinks the man. -
apanese
Edward Rowland Sill
Man's way to God is with beer in the hand. - Ko

W

T

The church is
c

T

Loth to

Ale sellers should

For a bad night, a mattress of

Water for oxen, wine for kin

One drink is just right; two is t
- Cf.
ffyar tribe
hat soberness conceals, drunkenness reveals. - Latin
he sober man's secret is the drunken man's speech. - Russian
near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk
arefully. - Russian
hey speak of my drinking, but never of my thirst. - Scottish
drink and loth to leave it off. - Scottish
not be tale tellers. - Scottish
wine. - Spanish
gs. - Spanish
oo many; three are too few. - Spanish
Haynes

No children without sex; no drunk

He who does not know beer die

enness without beer. - Sumerian
s not knowing what is good. - Sumerian
- 209 -

A
States

O

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Y

Beware of the man who does not drink. - Origin unkno

ANONYMOUS (MORE OR LESS)

I always remember my first martini - by the third one it gets a little
fuzzy.

A productive drunk is the bane of moralists.

I fear the man who drinks water
A
- From a Greek anth

A drink is shorter than a tale.

When the beer bubbles, the masses
Daily, Beijing, China

The Beer Prayer
Our lager,
W
Hallowed be thy drink.
T
(I will be drunk),
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our
A
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
B
For thine is the beer,
the bitter and t
F
Barmen

I think someone should invent Beergua
actually spill Scotch on the ca

D
man without a beer is like a lawnmower without grass. - United
ver the bottle many a friend is found. - Yiddish
iddish
wn
nd so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night.
ology, translated by Dudley Fitts
forget their troubles. - The People's
hich art in barrels,
hy will be drink,
foamy head,
nd forgive us our spillages,
ut deliver us from hangovers.
he lager.
orever and ever,
rd, because how often do you
rpet?
rink a highball at nightfall and be good fellows while you may-
- 210 -

For tomorrow may bring sorrow, so tonight let's all be gay.
- University of Pennsylvania song

He is not drunk gratis, who pays reason for his shot.

D

There was an old hen
A
And every damned morning
She laid another egg;
She was the best damned
On the whole damned farm
And another little drink
W
- American folk song

H
Who caught his death by drinking cold small beer;
Soldiers, take heed from his untimely

runkenness is a pair of spectacles to see the devil and all his works.
nd she had a wooden leg,

chicken
-
ouldn't do us any harm.
ere sleeps in peace a Hampshire Grenadier,
fall,
And when you're hot, drink strong, or not at all.
ter Churchyard

lcohol!
drink?
e I'll have another
rink.
he alcofluence of incohol.
m just a little slort of sheep.
ool so feelish don't know why
o just one more to fill me up.
- Epitaph in Winches
I drink, therefore, I am.

Instant Party Animal - Just Add A
- Button

I want a relationship that involves more than sex. Do you

Everybody should believe in something -- I believ
d

Ode to a Drinker
Starkle Starkle, little twink,
Who the heck you are I think.
I'm not under what they call
T
I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
I'
Tee drinkies makes a guy
F
Really don't know who's me yet.
The drunker I stay, the longer I get.
S
I've all day sober to Sunday up.
- 211 -


When ale is in, wit is out.
- 14th C

W
- Inscription over the door of the Devil Tavern's Apollo Room

Of all the meat

There are more gluttons than drunkards in hell.

A
on to.

Remember, Euboulos the sober, you who pas
A
- From a Greek anthology,

O, my dark Rosaleen,
D
The priests are on the ocean green,
They march along the deep;
There's win
U
And Spanish ale shall give you hope
My dark Rosaleen.
- 18th c. Irish ballad

The person who frequently is tight as a drum is seldom fit as a fiddle.

H
Freely thy wine - I'm thirsty as of yore.


O
cocktail hour into three or four.

Y
pronounce it.

G
To cheer both great and small;
Little fools sometimes drink too much
And great fools not at all.
- Anonymous verse at
entury
ine is the milk of Venus.
in the world, drink goes down the best.
n Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang
s by,
nd drink: there is one Hades for all men.
translated by Dudley Fitts
o not sigh, do not weep!
e from the royal Pope,
pon the ocean green;
ere lies Anacreon: then, stranger, pour
- Greek epigram
ne trouble with modern civilization is that too many people stretch the
ou have had too much to drink if you feel sophisticated and can't
od in His goodness sent the Grape
Manuel's Tavern in Atla

nta
- 212 -

A
the sanctity of the home preserved.

T
- Law, the City of Augsburg, 13th Century

An alcoholic spends his life committing suicide on the installment plan -
that is, he drinks like a fish but not the same thing.

I feel no pain
But oh, I am so dry!
O
And leave me there to die.
- Anonymous,

The only advantage of having lived through the Age of Prohibition is
that any liquor tasted good.

I was dro
- U2, "Until the End of the Wo
Cf.
court says a man has the right to get drunk in his own home. Thus is
he selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love.

dear mother now,
take me to a brewery,
19th Century
wning my sorrows, but my sorrows, they learned to swim.
rld"
Ann Landers
If you'd know when you've enough
O
It's time to quit
When you fall d

Reality is a hallucinat

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862.

Oh, I wish I had a barrel of rum and sugar three tho
A
I'd drink to all good fellows who come from far and near,
I'm a ramblin', gamblin' helluva engineer!
- Georgia Tech fight song

People who drink and drive are putting the q

The first thing in the human personality that al

'Tis clear, since Brandy kill'd To
That drinking rids us of the cares o

A drunkard is like a whiskey-bo
f the punch and the claret cup
the blessed stuff
own and can't get up.
ion brought on by lack of alcohol.
usand pounds,
college bell to put it in and a clapper to stir it 'round,
uart before the hearse.
cohol dissolves is dignity.
m's scolding wife,
f life.
ttle, all neck and belly and no head.
- 213 -


Whoever serves beer or wine wat
to drown.
- Medieval exhortation for p

The corkscrew - a useful key to unlock the storehouse of wit, the
treasury of laughter, the front-
p

N
poets.

Had the earliest morality developed under the influence of beer, there
w
- Frat boy in Buffy the Vampire Slayer

A toast to the Cocktail Party
W
And friends are stabbed.

If drinking is interfer
drinker. If work i
a

If, as the
F
Why did He burn His churches down
And save Hotaling's Whis

1906 quake and

Nothing can be more frequent than an occasion

Friendships are not always preserved in alco

Who needs a born-on date when you're in the delivery room
- Sign in RiverRock Brewery in Little Rock, Ark.

Beer: Take pure spring water. The finest grains. The rich
And then run them through a horse.

F
When the bottles are empty we'll thunder for more,
For to make our hearts cheerful we'll merrily sing
W
- 17th century ballad
ered down, he himself deserves in them
ure beverages
door of fellowship, and the gate of
leasant folly.
ot all men who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we aren't
ould be not good or evil, there would be "kind of nice" or "pretty cool."
here olives are speared
ing with your work, you're probably a heavy
s interfering with your drinking, you're probably an
lcoholic.
y say, God spanked this town
or being much too frisky,
key?
- Poem inspired when San Francisco's largest distillery survived the
subsequent fire
al drink.
hol.
?
est ingredients.
or the Liquor of life we do dearly adore,
ith a rousing full Bumper to Caesar, our King.
- 214 -


The correct order of beverages is starting with the most temperate and
ending with the most heady.

If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body,
desecrates fam
y
the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers
li
compromise!
- An

Rugged Individualism, Beer Linked - San Antonio (Texas) Express-
News headline

I
marketing] August Busch IV absolutely nuts. It infuriates
u
is lousy.


T

I

ily life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if
ou mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill,
to comfort
ttle crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not
anonymous congressman on whiskey
can tell you that the whole micro thing drives [Anheuser-Busch VP of
him that these
pstart companies are coming in and implying that his family's product
- Anonymous beer executive
he road to great wine is littered with beer bottles.
cook with wine...sometimes I even put it in food.
I'm tired of gin
I'm tired of sin
And after last night,
Oh boy, and I tired.

Remember, "I" before "E" except in Budweiser.

To some, it's a six-pack; to me, it's a support group.

The Great Spirit, who made all things, made every thing for some use,
and whatever use he designed anything for, that use it should always be
put to. Now, when he made rum, he said "Let this be for the Indians to
get drunk with," and it must be so.
- An anonymous Native American elder

Many a woman drives a man to drink - water.

Saint Patrick was a gentleman
Who through strategy and stealth
Drove all the snakes from Ireland
Here's a drinkee to his health!
- 215 -

But not too many drinkees
Lest we lose ourselves and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick
And see them snakes again!

D
me, you'll be under the table.

Draft beer, not people.
eat advantage not to drink among hard-drinking people. You can
old your tongue and, moreover, you can time any little irregularity of
care.
oamed and drinking water didn't.
ime don't let it slip away,
- Aerosmith
rink what you want, drink what you're able. If you are drinking with

It's a gr
h
your own so that everybody else is so blind that they don't see or

Good old days: Beer f

Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear.

T
Raise your drinking glass
Here's to yesterday.


Real women don't drink light beer. - New Glarus Brewing Co. bumper
sticker

Let no man thirst for lack of Real Ale. - Commonwealth Brewing Co.,
Boston, Massachusetts

In Vino Veritas
In Cervesio Felicitas
(In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is joy.)

The best beer is where priests go to drink.

P
But who am I that I should have the best of anything?
Let pri

- Anonymous, in the "Spectator", July 31, 1920, sometimes attributed
Hon. G.W.E. Russell or to Lord Neaves

In the event of a major world disaster, youll be a lot more popular th
some guy who collects stamps. - Advertisement for
ure water is the best of gifts that man to man can bring,
nces revel at the pump, let peers with ponds make free,
Whisky, or wine, or even beer is good enough for me.
to
an
Northern Brewer

History flows forward on rivers of beer.
- 216 -


Ir
food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.

To alcohol, the nights that you'll never remember, with the friend
n

If alcohol is a crutch, then Jack Daniels is the wheelchair.

Beer does not make you fat. It makes you lean - against bars, poles
tables.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't rem
if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. (Different authors quote different
numbers.)

I have yet to meet a woman that I couldn't drink pretty.

Drink and the world drinks with you. Swear off and you drink alone.

Reality is an illusion created

Thought when sober, said when drunk.

Don't stir yourself sir! I'll muzzle that inebriated canary!
ish Coffee is the perfect breakfast because it contains all four adult
s you'll
ever forget.
and
ember

by the lack of alcohol.

- 217 -


Tipsy Trivia
I cannot vouch for the veracity of all these claims. However, they are fun

Worldwide, approximately 20,000 brands of beer are brewed in 180
styles.

English inns were once
Customers who left town to drink in rural ta
to ponder.
required to pay a tax known as a "scot."
verns were said to be
drinking "scot free."

When consumed with boiled or pickled eggs, beer sometimes causes a
malfunction of the olfactory senses.

The oldest recipe for beer in Europe was found in the ruins of the
Spanish village of Geno, and dates back more than 3,000 years.

Hippocrates recommended prescribing beer for its tranquilizing
properties and because it quenches thirst, eases speech, and strengthens
the heart and gums. (At least, he thought so!)

With 400 different brands of beer, Belgium has more brands than any
other nation on Earth.

Emperor Carlos V was the first beer importer, and one of its most
illustrious aficionados. It is said that, even in his retirement in Yuste, he
kept a Flemish brewer in his reduced entourage.

Chatbir zoo in Punjab State, India, serves brandy to its bears to keep
them warm in the winter.

Reno, NV has the highest rate of alcoholism in the US; Provo, UT has the
lowest.

In Kentucky, you are considered sober until you cannot hold onto the
ground. (Can you imagine the DUI tests in that state?)

In the mid 1970s, Australians were the third biggest per capita beer
drinkers, after Germans and Belgians. In the 1990s, though, they weren't
even in the top ten!

The tune of "The Star Spangled Banner" was derived from "Anacreon," a
- 218 -

British drinking song.

John Wagner, who had a small brewery in back of his house on St. John
Street in Philadelphia, brewed the first lager in the United States. He
brought the first lager yeast to the US from a brewery Bavaria.

ure

o.


eer.
h
ed
Beer is great for controlling slugs in your garden! You can make a slug
trap by pouring 2-5 cm of beer in cottage cheese, margarine, or other
similar containers and placing them near plants prone to slug damage
with the rims 3 cm above the surface of the soil. (No word on what
brand of beer that slugs prefer, though.)

Here's to your health #1: Both red wine and dark beer are rich in
flavonoids, which are believed to have a positive effect on blood press
and cholesterol levels.

Here's to your health #2: We already know red wine may protect your
heart. But a recent study by a Harvard pathologist showed that
resveratrol, an antioxidant in red wine, may increase the lifespan of
yeast cells. It significantly lengthens the lives of fruit flies, too. (Does it
work in humans? We hope!)

Here's to your health #3: Canadian researchers found that one beer ups
antioxidant activity, which may protect the heart and brain from
oxidative damage. A Tufts study suggested that it has bone benefits, to
(However, drink responsibly!)

Americans drink three million gallons of orange juice per day. We drink
over fifteen million gallons of beer daily. This means that on average,
Americans drink five times more beer than orange juice.

If everyone quit drinking alcoholic beverages, twenty million starving
people could be fed on the grain saved. (However, the old starving-
children-in-Africa warhorse isn't going to get me to give up my b
Actually, it would be better if we all gave up beef!)

One day in Poland, a brewery developed a plumbing problem in whic
beer was accidentally pumped into the incoming water supply. The result:
Residents of the town got free beer on tap at their kitchen sinks,
bathrooms and garden faucets. (Those lucky Poles!)

The term 'toddlers' originated in England. There were impurities in the
drinking water that disallowed the water to be used for drinking. A
common alternative drink was beer (it was cheep, plentiful and the
water used to make it was treated during the initial boiling during
brewing). Toddlers, just weaning off of mothers milk were unaccustom
- 219 -

to the effects of beer. This coupled with the fact that they were just
learning how to walk really made them toddle. (Those lucky English tots!

The familiar Scandinavian toast skl derives from scole, the drinking
bowl shaped like the upper half of
)
a human skull. Originally, these bowls
B.C.)
uld be put to death for diluting beer. (Let's hear it for
hips in Finland, first prize is the
were fashioned from the actual skulls of enemy killed in battle.

According to The Code of Hammurabi of ancient Babylonia (c. 1750
a merchant co
Hammurabi!)

At the Wife Carrying World Champions
wifes weight in beer.
- 220 -

Rules for Surviving a Horror Movie

some
a or


lly


)
faucet, do not call a plumber. Leave the house
immediately.


When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to
see if it's really dead.
If you find that your house was built upon or near a cemetery, was
once a church that was used for black masses, had previous
inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in
horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophili
satanic practices, move away immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Don't mumble to yourself, either - if you can't read silently, you
have no business with such a thing anyway.
Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone
out.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably that way for a
reason. Take the hint and stay away.
If you're searching for something that caused a mysterious noise
and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if
you value your life.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're rea
sure you know what you are doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note
that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is
merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up
with you.
Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knives in one of those
wooden blocks on your work surface.
When you're searching a house because you think there's
something dangerous there, for God's sake turn the lights on!
Never back out of one room into another without looking. It's
always behind you.
Never, ever, ever turn off the paved road onto a gravel or dirt road.
Always make sure that your car has a fresh battery and a full
tank of gas so it will start immediately in times of crisis.
Never say that you'll be right back, because you won't.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or anywhere near a grave,
crypt, tomb, mausoleum, or any other house of the dead.
If anything other than water (i.e., blood or thick goo of any color
comes out of a
- 221 -

If, while looking in a mirror, you see a figure behind you that you
don't see upon turning around, a room different from the one you

he correct room after re-opening it, vacate the
ictim.
ht and your dog suddenly perks up his ears and
your Zippo

so you can kill the vampires
e
with a door that hasn't been opened in

e for help. If you think that is
You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.


is one!), the Bemuda Triangle, or any
,
g knives, combines, lawn mowers,
are in, or a figure other than yourself looking back, or your
reflection tells you to get out before it is too late, proceed to the
nearest exit with all speed.
If you open a door and the room you see is not the room that
should be there, do not explore it. In fact, even if you close the
door and see t
house.
When the family pet runs away, DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR IT --
pets are usually not killed, and even if they are, it's just a warm-up
for the next, human v
Never unlock the doors and look outside.
If it's late at nig
growls lowly in his throat, never EVER say "Whassa matter Boy?
Gotta go out?"
If you use gasoline to destroy your attacker, make sure
is in fine working order. Also, make sure it's not the one your
grandfather used in WWII because you have to throw it away with
a witty one-liner.
Make sure you get up early enough
during the day.
When you are trapped in a strange old house with your date,
NEVER say: "Let's try the basement!" or "Look! The stairs up to th
attic!"
When approaching a room
decades, and the knob begins to slowly turn back and forth on its
own, back away! Do NOT ask loudly, "Who's there?"
When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go it
alone.
If appliances start operating by themselves, MOVE OUT.
Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as soon as
possible!
If your car runs out of gas at night, DO NOT go to the nearest
deserted-looking house to phon
strange because you thought you had half a tank, shoot yourself
instead.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in
trouble if you recognize th
small town in Maine.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns
hedge trimmers, electric carvin
- 222 -

butane torches, band saws, or any device made from deceased
companions.
Listen closely to the sound track and pay attention to the
audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you
could ever hope to be.
ale,
rer
over to see
alking dead, aim for the head.
looking, make the cops go look and
vice,
.
be
near the monster until it's really dead.
aring pitchforks and torches will be
r car.
for the
on his
is
e, make sure you are
n

ic atolls, distant space stations,
l creature of any kind, step
ick.

If you are running for your life and are being chased by a
monster/psychopath/axe murderer and you happen to be fem
take the high-heeled shoes OFF!
Also, if you've just pushed the monster/psychopath/axe murde
in the lake from your boat dock or a bridge, don't lean
if he's gone!
When confronted by the w
If you're female, never EVER take off your shirt. They like to
attack you when your bejoobies are hanging out.
Lock your darn doors, make sure the gas tank is full, and if you
hit something that was weird
see what it was.
If the creepy bag lady of the town tries to give you some ad
TAKE IT! For some reason she always seems to know what she is
talking about during her brief moments of lucidity
Join the police or the military right away! That way, you won't
anywhere
Remember, the monster cannot be stopped by bullets, the army or
an atomic bomb. Only a mob be
able to inflict significant damage.
Monsters are generally radioactive, so always carry a Geiger
counter in you
When confronted with a large, animated flying reptile, aim
wires.
If you can get around the creature, and get to the zipper
back, you can render him helpless.
If you are female, and intend to go swimming in a haunted
pool/black lagoon/deserted lake, a white one-piece bathing suit
de rigueur.
Girls, if you are going on a date to Lovers Lan
wearing shoes with proper ankle support. Statistically you will tur
an ankle and the creature will get you.
Avoid going to isolated research stations whenever possible. Arctic
weather stations, foreboding pacif
and island bases for gene-splicing corporations top the list.
When finding a meteor/egg sac/feta
away! DO NOT give in to the diabolical urge to poke it with a st
Unless you are in the company of Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy
and their talking dog, the creature/ghost coming at you is most
likely REAL.
- 223 -

If you see some strange, globulous, slimy, pulsating thing in your
house, don't mutter "What the hell?" to yourself and reach for it.
If some guy comes to your door who looks exactly like an ancestor
e a cousin from
to
tely sure that the monster/killer
t
lax.
night, you find a window open which you thought

strange old artifact and any exotic
e
century anniversaries.
w descended from one of
re is really
e other side.
o
ody and
un, knife or other instrument of death because (1)
h
ou
e pranksters will soon meet their doom and
often in a horribly gory way.
of yours who "died" 200 years before, claiming to b
England, SHUT THE DOOR!
When killer bees, flesh eating worms, or Cujo have trapped you in
your car, make sure to turn OFF the oldies station. It just seems
excite them.
Always check the back seat of your car.
The first time that you are absolu
is dead or the hellgate is finally closed forever, you are in the mos
danger. Don't re
Objects moving in a mysterious fashion should be considered a
very bad sign.
If, on a stormy
was previously closed, do not close it. It may be your only way out
when whatever has come in through it is chasing you.
If you come into possession of a
person (old wizened oriental, gypsy, Indian medicine man) warns
you to do/not do something, do not do just the opposite in order to
demonstrate how silly he/she is.
Anniversary nights of executions, horrible murders, or terrifying
rituals should be viewed with fear. Especially on the spot where th
event took place. Most especially on even
And certainly if you or a friend is someho
the original participants.
If one of your group is missing for a while and, upon returning, no
longer seems as frightened, assuring you that the
nothing to be worried about, do not let him/her get behind you.
He/she has joined th
If your friend turns into a demon and then suddenly turns back t
normal, kill him because he is not normal!
After you kill the maniac, don't stand anywhere near the b
don't drop the g
he is not dead and (2) you will be needing the instrument of deat
again.
Kill the person in the group who suggests that you split up. That
will eventually get you killed.
Kill the greedy person in the group. He/she will eventually get y
killed.
Never make fun of the local yokel's stories about deformed killer
babies in backwoods towns--you can bet they are real and you
might get them angry.
Never be with the group who plays vicious pranks on the shy
strange new kid. Thos
- 224 -

If someone in your group is too scared to shoot when the monst
is bearing down on you, grab the gun and shoot the monster
yourself, or use your wea
er
pon to kill both the monster and your

there really is danger.
ken up from a horrible
n. They usually
akland Raiders fans,
nd to see how close it is/they are
behind you. This slows you down and increases your chances of
Never run to the top floor of any building if you are being chased
r. Your only way out will be to jump.
Never publicly announce your plans for the future if you make it
out alive. It guarantees that you have no future.
circumstances run upstairs if you are being
chased.
s the monster or
ny other
language which they should not know, or if they speak to you
using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them
immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It
will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This
applies also to people who speak with somebody else's (usually
deep) voice.
Don't make fun of or play with dead things.
If you see a town that looks deserted except for children, do not
try to "help" them - they will eat you.
Whenever you land on a distant planet and find some objects that
look like eggs, leave them alone.
Do not allow crewmates back aboard the craft if you find hideous
parasites attached to their bodies.
Be forewarned that a gun is good only for ALMOST killing the
monster, never for COMPLETELY killing it. Be sure to have an
extra weapon, preferably one with a "flair" (a knife, a harpoon, a
heavy box, razor confetti, pop tarts, etc.)
friend, especially if there are more monsters around. Your friend
was dead weight.
Go ahead and slap the screaming hysterical girl because she will
be the one to distract everyone when
Nothing is ever over if it is still nighttime.
If it seems as though you have just wo
nightmare, chances are you are still in grave danger.
Take heed of all warnings from animals and childre
know more than you do.
When fleeing some peril (mutant rats, lava, O
etc.), do not keep turning arou
getting caught by said peril.
by a maniac/monste
Never under any
If you're ever lost in the woods filming a documentary, don't stop
and collect little stick figures.
Never trust your best boy/girl friend. As soon a
spirt can, it's going to take over his/her mind and that friend will
turn on you.
If your children or pets speak to you in Latin or a
- 225 -

Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear scratching, heavy
breathing, or OUGHT was
dead.
Never bathe, e
Never camp or build homes on Indian burial grounds.
If the phone lines are dead, and you hear footsteps upstairs, and
you say "Tom, Tom is that you?" an oes not answer, run
way.
If you have to run away, taking a bus is your best bet. If you take
or anyone who is invisible, you are
on a
e
tells you "Wait right here," heed that person's order and
gly go "Oo-ee-oo!" to jokes about how creepy
nning after you, run out the door rather
,
h
ears to be lighted from within.
oks
the voice of a dear relative whom you TH
specially when in the house alone.
d Tom d
a
a car, the monster will be in it.
Never bring the cat or any member of your family back from the
dead.
Try to make friends with someone from your own species. If your
only friends are rats, insects
going to DIE.
If you realize that a car has been operating on its own, get away
from it immediately. Do not touch it, and above all, NEVER get in,
especially in the driver's seat!
If your child or infant seems especially bright, beautiful, AND has
piercing blue eyes, kill it immediately. If you can't do that, have a
priest or retired mystery writer do it for you. Under NO
CIRCUMSTANCES should you lean over a cliff, shimmy out
tree branch, cross a train tressle, or climb a ladder to rescue th
tyke from certain death - it is a TRAP.
Never accept a job as a camp counselor.
Do NOT drink alcohol if you are underage.
Never turn off the radio or TV when an emergency news bulletin is
on - unless you want to be in the next bulletin.
If someone
don't go anywhere.
Never assme that everything is going to be all right. It won't be.
Never go for a walk by yourself, especially in the wilderness.
Don't mockin
something is.
When the monster is ru
than up the stairs.
When the exorcist/priestess/whoever declares the house is "clear"
your troubles have just begun.
Never look under the stairs, or the bed, or in the closet, or the
cellar, attic, etc.
Don't take anything back to the lab that looks like it might hatc
real soon-especially if it is transparent, something inside is moving,
or it app
In the same vein, never bend over to look into anything that lo
like an opening egg.
- 226 -

If you don't want to be chased by the monster (or serial killer,
shark, alien, giant snake, radioactive ants, etc.) don't wear skimpy
clothes or wet T-shirts.
If you are being chased by a car, don't run into the building, the
car will corner you and rev its engine menacingly before destroying
the house, business, police station, etc. Whereas, if you just run
down the road, it won't catch you.
Never unwrap the mumm

y. (Always good, though, to have duct tape

oise out on the wing was.
hat
vy weights from above.
on't
when all the adults fail.
around in case something unravels).
When flying on an airplane at night, in a storm, don't raise the
shade to see what that n
Don't talk to sheriffs wearing reflecting sunglasses in towns t
are so small the gas station has one pump.
Silver works, garlic doesn't.
And the #1 rule for surviving a horror movie:
DON'T HAVE SEX!!!

If you're the monster:
If you're after the final survivor, take a break, go buy a gun, and
take him or her out from a distance, avoiding all electrical lines,
magic knives and hea
Always remember to eat the small kids FIRST, because if you d
they're going to find a way to defeat you
Should you become a vampire, follow these tips.
- 227 -

Things I Will Do If I Am Ever a Vampire
e Modern Vampire

ke. I
ssault rifle and grenades. If the
t
slaves, I will bite them in out-of-
requiring painfully obvious
th a marvelous device called a burglar

g.

d with claymores designed to shred the body of anyone who
sions.
ss
tle of wits with the Hero. I plan on killing
use he does not
et
s, elevator shafts, or air vents

.
Or, Rules for th


1. I will not pick off friends, family or neighbors of the Hero one at a
time. This annoys the Hero and drives him into action. They'll still
be there when he is dead.
2. There are thousands of sick people who want to be vampires. Why
pick someone who doesn't?
3. The Hero will come armed with holy water, a cross and a sta
will come armed with a 5.56 mm a
Hero has to cross open ground, there is no better way to reach ou
and touch someone than with a sniper rifle.
4. When biting women to make them
the-way locations such as the inside of the thigh, the lower part of
the breast, or another location not
alteration of clothing or ridiculous accessories to conceal.
5. I will equip my home wi
alarm with an automatic dialer. It will be difficult for the Hero to
kill me while under arrest for attempted breaking and enterin
6. My coffin will be concealed and will be a plain wooden box. The
elaborate oak coffin with gold trim resting in the basement will be
equippe
opens it.
7. I will wear a watch and verify what time sunrise is every day.
8. The formal attire with cape will be reserved for special occa
Jeans and a t-shirt will be fine for everyday wear as they are le
noticeable.
9. I will wear white clothing, which does not set off my pallor as
obviously as black.
10. If I can't avoid wearing black and acting weird all the time, I
will go to bars that cater to that sort of clientele. It will make it
more difficult for the Hero to pick me out of the crowd.
11. I will not engage in a bat
him anyway, so what's the point?
12. I will not dismiss a Hero as a mere mortal beca
have my centuries of experience. Even inexperienced losers can g
lucky.
13.There will be no windows, door
accessing my hidden lair that have any sort of access to the
outside and down which sunlight can be directed using mirrors
- 228 -

late so the Hero will face a rude surprise when
to making


appealing
ave wooden furniture, the legs of which become
g
s the
s friends.
are that they are not to
ss consent from me.
o juice
.
m Bob," is less
atres, vampire
er
e
able to explain porphyria and why that unfortunate
self to look concerned and not hungry when
he throws something through it at sunrise.
15. When I take the Hero's true love to make her my concubine and
eternal slave, I will not show her off to goad the Hero in
an attack. That will goad the Hero into making an attack. She will
be tucked away in a quiet room, watched over by my loyal servants
until the Hero is dead.
16. I will not transform children. Their bodies will stay the same
age forever while their minds grow older and they will become
whiny and disobedient.
17. I will not use bug-eating morons as servants. Pretty females
dressed in little French maid outfits are more visually
and can also distract the Hero.
18. While castles and mansions are traditional and have a
certain flair, the two bedroom bungalow is less noticeable in
suburbia.
19. My home will not h
sharp, pointed sticks at inopportune moments.
20. I will have one of my entranced subjects constantly observin
the Hero and his party. I always want warning if they go to a
lumber yard.
21. My home will have mirrors, but they will be located in places such
as the bathroom where I am unlikely to be at the same time a
Hero or hi
22. I will not change into a bat, scuttle up walls, fly, or hypnotize
people when there might be witnesses.
23. All my concubines will be fully aw
seduce, attack or even bother visitors staying in the castle unless
they have expre
24. The blood in the refrigerator will be stored in a tomat
container, and there will be ordinary food in there for camouflage
25. I will get a voice coach and change my name. "Hi, I'
suspicious than "I am Dra--cu--la."
26. I will not associate with vampire the
whorehouses and prostitution rings, vampire bars, or vampire bik
gangs. They attract attention.
27. I will spend no more than 10 years in any one location, and when I
move it will be somewhere distant. I will not return to a previous
home for a minimum of 80 years. Anyone who previously knew m
will be either dead or senile.
28. I will be
genetic condition is the reason I cannot go out in the sun.
29. I will force my
someone accidently cuts himself.
- 229 -

30. A Kevlar vest with a ceramic trauma plate located over the
heart is a rather trendy fashion accessory.
31.I will take seriously anyone who approaches me with a water pistol
aken from visitors by a servant at the door.
d chained to the
er antique weapons with
.
ecome proficient

a

37. I will not take blood from people who take cocaine, speed or
other addictive drugs.
38. All servants, concubines and assorted slaves will be under
strict orders not to show excessive devotion to me in public.
39. Servants, concubines and assorted slaves will have a zero-
tolerance rule: one mistake and they're dead. I can always create
more.
40. When recruiting new blood, so to speak, I will first enslave
those who might notice odd behavior in my future concubines.
Therefore, I take the teachers at the all-girls school first.
41. All future concubines will be screened and have complete
background checks. Those with relatives named Van Helsing will
be removed from consideration. The irony is not worth the risk.
42. Nothing says the Hero can't be a cripple or be suffering
massive trauma from a shotgun blast before he becomes lunch.
43. I will not personally finish off the Hero. That is what loyal
servants, concubines and assorted slaves are for. Besides, his true
love is probably tastier.
44. All future concubines will be strip-searched for rosaries,
crucifixes and garlic before I approach them.
45. All cute but spunky kids in the community who express an
interest in the supernatural will be identified and observed for
sudden changes in behavior.
46. I will be an upstanding but otherwise undistinguished
resident of my community, and will make sure that I cultivate
and a confident expression.
32. Backpacks and small bags capable of holding sharp pointed
wooden sticks will be t
Anyone refusing to part with their accessories will be taken into a
side room and shot in the knees, handcuffed, an
wall, where they will provide lunch for my concubines.
33. Crossbows, spears, arrows, and oth
wooden or large blades will be banned from the castle. There is
nothing wrong with a fine collection of rifles and handguns
34. I will carry at least a .38 on my person and b
in its use. If the Von Helsing is holding me at bay with a religious
symbol, or I am unable to use my vampiric powers for other
reasons, I can always open fire.
35. I will be a strict atheist, so the Hero will be forced to use a
copy of "The Skeptical Inquirer" or "Das Kapital," rather than
Bible, delaying him considerably.
36. Before dining out with anyone, I will verify that garlic is not
a major spice at that restaurant.
- 230 -

enough friends so I will be warned of anyone spreading malicious
rumors about me.
47.
several
blocks away via a convenient hard-to-trace method of my choice.)
hools I will secretly finance. After a few years of modern
ucation they will dismiss the legends told by their grandparents,
I will remind myself that I am immortal, not indestructible.
51. All concubines will save the loose, transparent, flowing silk dresses
of guy so I like a woman in
which provide more protection so she lasts
ey
work quite effectively on the Hero and his friends. Therefore, all
and
as a last resort.
e of blood impossible to
identify.
ds,
latives, mentors or lovers to the Hero in order to demonstrate my
propriate for someone of my
apparent age.
was fond of. They have clearly
really want more of us running around.
ss steel or
er. (Besides, I might accidentally cut myself.)

sonous gas at all times. Not needing to breathe is a
usefull skill.
ear
estos clothing.
ed at

Since it will be the last thing they would expect, I will hire a
Mafia hit team to take out the Hero and his friends. Let's see the
crucifix protect them from an Uzi. (And if it does, I will
immediately leave town, having been spying on them from
48. All villagers will be encouraged to send their children to the
sc
ed
several of which will undoubtably be ways to destroy me.
49. I will ignore all attempts to appeal to my former sense of
humanity. I don't have any. That is why it is former.
50.
for special occasions. I'm a modern sort
leather and Kevlar,
longer in a fight.
52. Although firearms are useless against me and the concubines, th
concubines will be armed and taught to shoot. They will use h
and fang in attack only
53. All bodies of former meals will be destroyed in a manner that
will make bite marks and the absenc
54. I will not send bodies or parts thereof of former frien
re
complete mastery over life and death.
55. I will not demonstrate knowledge inap
56. I will not begin a vendetta against someone who has
destroyed a fellow vampire that I
demonstrated they have the ability to destroy me.
57. More vampires mean a lower prey ratio: I will carefully consider if I
58. All the cutlery in my house will be either stainle
plastic - no silv
Ideally, the steel will have a special surface that makes it look like
silver, so the Hero will waste his time trying to stab me with it.
59. I will keep important bits of my home flooded with a non-
flammable poi
60. As cancer isn't a particularly large concern for me, I'll w
asb
61. I will make lots of long-term investments. With the great
wealth I get from that, I shall endow a genetics program aim
- 231 -

producing cows whose udde
im
of bothering the Hero's womenfolk.
62. While it may offend my dignity, whining incessantly will
indicate that I am the protagonist, and will enable me to avoid t
attentions of Heroes.
63. As cute as the Vampire Slayer is, there are other girls jus
cute who are not capable of destroying me.
rs secrete human blood or a palatable
itation thereof. Then I can go to McDonald's for dinner instead
he
t as

64. I will not engage a "Vampire Slayer" in martial arts combat,
out well.
If I find out that there is a "Vampire Slayer" living in the
66. When faced with a gang of spunky kids determined to stop
and fur and howl at the moon
very once in a while. This should confuse the hero, and will
e me to get away with a silver bullet or two.
68. I will not consider property crimes beneath my dignity.
and I don't have to worry
uch about the possibility of something going wrong.
as that seldom seems to work
65.
vicinity, I will consider moving elsewhere, regardless of the
advantages confered by that particular location.
my evil schemes, I will consider surrender. Or mailbombs.
67. I will put on lots of makeup
e
probably enabl
Carjacking is a good source of income,
m
- 232 -

BUREAU OF MISINFORMATION

%
to
aff of old wives' tales.
n
is
Right-handers live longer than left-handers.
son there are fewer old lefties is because early in this century
use before World War II. Its actual origin is unknown;
there are several theories for its genesis.
ine the Great died while trying to copulate with a horse.
t al died was called American Pie.
NOT!
ame. The legend may have
from the title of Don McLean's classic song from the early 1970s.
at a person translating from the original French mistook
an archaic word for squirrel hide to be the word for glass. In reality, her
t, though in some legends her footwear
de of gold.
or Unlawful Carnal Knowledge."
language is probably Middle Dutch fokken, to strike or copulate.
As the old song goes, It Ain't Necessarily So! Many things that you
have "known" all your life, or that you pick up on the internet, are 100
pure baloney. This page is just one of many attempts out there
separate the wheat of truth from the ch
The position of a horse's feet on a statue indicate how its rider fared i
battle.
NOT!
The pose of the horse has nothing to do with the purported code.
Although some statues follow the "code," enough do not to put pay to th
claim. Ditto claims that the direction the horse faces indicates the rider's
fate.
NOT!
The rea
left-handed children were still being forced to use their right hands.
"The whole nine yards" originated with pilots during World War II.
NOT!
The phrase was in
Cather
NOT!
The legendary empress was lusty, but only with her own species. She
died of a stroke. No horses were involved.
The plane in which the Big Bopper, e
It was a Beechcraft Bonanza that had no n
sprung
Cinderella's slippers were made of squirrel skin, not glass.
NOT!
The claim is th
slippers were glass from the star
are ma
A certain profanity comes from "F
NOT!
The actual source of the most frequently bleeped word in the English
- 233 -

"Ye" is an archaic form of "the."
NOT!
The 'y' in signs beginning with 'Ye Olde...' is properly pronounced with a
'th' sound, not 'y.' The 'th' sound does not exist in Latin, so when the
rune 'thorn' to
ent 'th' sounds. With the advent of the printing press, the lower
ne.
red.
m.
NOT!
He was, however the first person to fly solo across the Atlantic. The first
. The two Brits took off from Newfoundland on June 14, 1919, and
cks - and they all echo just like any other
sound.
uth once pointed to where he wa about to hit a home run.
Romans occupied (present day) England they used the
repres
case 'y' was used for 'thorn' because it is the character in the Latin
alphabet that most closely resembles that ru
Bulls get angry when they see
NOT!
Bulls are color blind. What they go after is the movement of the
matador?s cape. There is no particular color that enrages the
Theodore Roosevelt and the Rough Riders rode horses in their famous
charge in the Spanish-American war.
They were on foot!
London's legendary clock is called Big Ben.
NOT!
Big Ben is the name of the huge bell in the clock tower. At
approximately 2.3 meters tall, almost three meters wide, and all of 13
tons in mass, the bell certainly is big! The name of the clock itself is
Tower Clock.
Charles Lindbergh was the first person to fly non-stop across the
Atlantic.
NOT!
non-stop transatlantic flight was made by John W. Alcock and Arthur W.
Brown
landed in Ireland the next day.
A duck?s quack doesn't echo.
NOT!
Ducks have a variety of qua
Babe R
NOT!
Film shot when this incident supposedly took place clearly shows that
The Babe never pointed anywhere, let alone in the direction of his next
base-rounder.
- 234 -

"Ring Around the Rosies" is actually about the bubonic plague.
NOT!
This innocent rhyme has many variations. It was not noted in writing
a plausible but phony
d
In
as victims, not
villains. There was one incident of people spitting on veterans, but these
lling for an
the war.
However, he was the first President of the United States, contrary to
or "just the first President
this nation's Constitution." (The U.S. Constitution created the
ical story of Genesis mentions only a "fruit" without specifying
what variety. No specific mention of an apple is made. Some speculate
g because Adam and Eve then
d themselves with fig leaves.
Though authentic Viking helmets sometimes had some form of
at's why the Minnesota
s can't seem to win the Super Bowl - they need to change their
NOT!
-dit-dit signal was chosen because it is
y to what you've probably heard, the Titanic was not the
first ship to send an SOS. The Arapahoe did that on August 11, 1909.
until the 19th century, long after the Black Death had run its course.
This is just another instance of sticking
explanation to an old, innocent song.
Anti-war protesters spat on Vietnam veterans when the latter arrive
home.
NOT!
There are no pictures, articles or police reports of such incidents.
reality, many war opponents regarded combat veterans
were young GOP zealots going after veterans who were ca
end to
George Washington had wooden teeth.
NOT!
claims that he was only the "ninth President"
under
office of President.) As for his famous false teeth, they were made of
ivory, not wood.
In the Garden of Eden, the serpent tempted Adam and Eve with an
apple.
NOT!
The bibl
the fruit of knowledge may have been a fi
covere
Vikings wore helmets with horns on them.
NOT!
decoration, this did not include horms. (Maybe th
Viking
helmet logo!)
SOS stands for Save Our Ship.
The dit-dit-dit dah-dah-dah dit
easy to remember and recognize.
Also, contrar
- 235 -

Camels can go longer without water than any mammal.
NOT!
The Great Wall of China can be seen from the Moon.
Cats and dogs are colorblind.
dogs can see color, but not as intensely as humans can. Cats
can distinguish green and blue but cannot see the color red.
to navigate.
aan.
Wars enough times to know

n:
ses
he then says "You may fire when ready."
nd because he doesn't wear any pants.
where else, because of his
enters as a cost-saving
measure. (Note that nothing is ever said about Daffy Duck - he goes
An underpass is a safe place to be if a tornado threatens.
OUS place to be when a
tornado strikes. Many people, upon seeing the footage of a 1991 Kansas
hiding beneath a highway
underpass will protect them from a tornado's fury. Here are some things
to keep in mind:
Giraffes and rats can go without water longer than camels can.
NOT!
Not with the naked eye, anyway. An astronaut on the Moon would need
a telescope to spot this massive structure.
NOT!
Cats and
Speaking of feline vision, cats cannot see in total darkness. They can,
however, see in much lower light levels than humans can. In complete
darkness they use their vibrassae (whiskers)
Darth Vader ordered the destruction of Alder
NOT!
Ok, it was only a movie, but I've seen Star
who the guilty party is - Grand Moff Tarkin. He is the one who suggests
that Princess Leia might be swayed by an "alternate form of persuasio
Set our course for Alderaan!" When the rebel princess finally disclo
the location of the rebel base,
Good-bye Alderaan.
However, Vader doesn't get entirely off the hook - he could have offered
an alternative target, or persuaded Tarkin to destroy an asteroid or the
like as a "shot across the bow." Bad dark lord. And in front of his
daughter, no less.
Donald Duck was banned in Finla
NOT!
Donald was never exiled from Finland, or any
lack of britches. This story started when a Helsinki library ceased
purchasing Donald Duck comics for youth c
about completely NAKED!)
NOT!
In fact, an underpass is a VERY DANGER
twister threatening a camera crew and their terrifying close encounter
of the windy kind, have gotten the idea that
- 236 -

- 237 -

The tornado in that footage did not score a direct hit on the
bridge, only a glancing blow, so as ferocious as those winds were,
they were just the outer edge of the storm.
The higher up one goes in a tornado, the faster the wind. Thus,
you're better off on the ground.
The underpass where the camera crew took shelter had beams
underneath that people could grasp. Many underpasses have
nothing under them to provide a secure grip. In recent years,
people have been swept away and killed because they sheltered
beneath a "smooth" underpass.
Finally, parking your car at the underpass could block the
highway, denying access to emergency vehicles.
Dark beer gets you drunk faster than light-colored beer.
NOT!
The color of beer is not related to its alcohol content. Amber beer with a
higher proof (percentage of alcohol) will get you HUdrunk, smashed,
bombed, etc.UH faster than a dark-colored beer with a lower proof.
The 21st century began on January 1, 2000.
NOT!
There is no year 0 in how we reckon common-era years, or in any other
system for numbering years. Numbering began with year 1, so the first
decade ended with year 10. Thus, all decades, centuries, and millennia
end with a year that ends with 0. The 21st century did not begin until
midnight on January 1, 2001. Arthur C. Clarke was right!
Aren't you embarassed that you drank the Dom Perignon a year too
early?
The British flag is called the Union Jack.
NOT!
The proper name for the British flag is the Union Flag. It is properly
called a Union Jack only when it is flying from the jack mast of a
British vessel.
A goldfish has a memory of only three seconds.
NOT!
Tests have shown that a goldfish can retain memories for weeks, even
months. The popular Discovery Channel series Mythbusters exploded this
fallacy, as well as many others.
QUOTES THAT NEVER WERE:
Kirk never said "Beam me up Scotty." He did, however, say "Beam me up,
Mr. Scott."
Sherlock holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
- 238 -

Al Gore never claimed to be the "father of the internet."
In Casablanca, Rick never says "Play it again, Sam." He says: "You
played it for her, you can play it for me. Play it!"
James Cagney never called anybody a "dirty rat" in even one of his
many films. The phrase is associated with him because people emulating
his tough-guy act frequently used the line "You dirty rat!" in their
performances.
Mark Twain never said a lot of the quotes that are commonly attributed
to him:
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics. (Twain
attributed this to Benjamin Disraeli.)
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know
because I've done it a hundred times.
Wagner's music is better than it sounds. (Twain credited this one to
fellow humorist Edgar Wilson Nye.)
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could
hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be
twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had
learned in seven years.
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. (In reality, when
reports of the illness of James Ross Clemens - a cousin of Twain's -
were somehow misconstrued to mean that Twain was the sick one,
he told the reporter who'd stopped by to check on him that "The
report of my death was an exaggeration."
So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it, but I couldn't find
honest employment.
For every problem there is always a solution that is simple, obvious,
and wrong.
Whenever I feel the urge to exercise I lie down until it goes away.
The finest Congress money can buy.
If it's pithy, funny, and about human nature, an observation frequently
gets attributed to either Mark Twain or Oscar Wilde - sometimes both.
For more enlightenment, please visit HUThe Urban Legends Reference PageUH.
Especially "Tales of the Wooden Spoon."
Know of some other pseudo-fact that needs debunking? HUUpload it my
way!UH Thanks!And in case you've forgotten...