The author was born in Buckinghamshire at the height of

World War II, her mother being widowed soon after the
birth.
After school and college she followed various careers,
travelling extensively, and living and working overseas.
She has two wonderful children and is now !ana" to three
adorable grandchildren. She lives #uietly in Somerset and
en$oys walking in the beautiful countryside.
A. M. Fai r chi l d
A L I S O N S S T O R Y
%o&yright A. '. (airchild
The right of A. '. (airchild to be identified as author of this work
has been asserted by her in accordance with section )) and )* of
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for damages.
A %I, catalogue record for this title is available from the British
0ibrary.
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1
1943 1950
If it"s a girl, we"ll drown it". This was a mantra 'other liked
to re&eat from an age when I could com&rehend. ;our father
said that"s what we would do < if it was a girl". I would stare
dumbly at her, having no retort to such a statement. I never
understood her need to be cruel. 'aybe that"s how grief affects
some &eo&le.
Buckinghamshire is a &leasant county into which I entered
the world in Se&tember -.13. +uring this time, as World War
II raged on, some fierce fighting was in &rogress with the
Allied landings in southern Italy. The =>boats were still taking
their toll on the !orth Atlantic convoys. 'other had gone to a
nursing home for officers" wives to await the ha&&y arrival of
their son. (irst disa&&ointment. All had not gone smoothly with
the birth. 'other told me that after my delivery, I was whisked
away and she was &revented from holding me or even seeing
me for twenty>four hours. ?ow very cruel. What was the
reason@ Baby is very tired," she was told, but I wonder if
&erha&s I was given to the wrong &arents to take home and had
to be #uickly recovered. Anyway, maybe that could ex&lain
why mother and I had never seemed to bond.
Worse was to come. We were still in the nursing home two
weeks later when the fateful telegram arrived from the
Admiralty advising her that (ather had died in action on board
his destroyer, being &art of the !orth Atlantic convoy escort
for the merchant shi&s bringing much>needed food from
America.
At the time of the fatal incident, whilst chasing a =>boat,
many on the bridge of the destroyer &erished. Ane of the few
survivors, the ca&tain, also to become my godfather, sustained
severe shra&nel in$uries to his face. ?e would never have
&lastic surgery, and was &lagued by headaches and nightmares
for the rest of his life.
(ather was a good man, a valued and efficient naval officer
I was informed by all that knew him. ?is lovely smile has
beamed out of black and white &hotos at me down the decades,
forever young and handsome. 'any years later I read his
letters to mother written before and after my birth. The
message I got was not one of a father with infanticide on his
mind. +addy would have loved me, not drowned me," I would
cry in later years when mother &arroted her unkind remark.
She was a slight, fragile woman with eyes the colour of an
angry sea. I thought she was very &retty and ho&ed to look like
her when older. But she never really recovered from the loss of
my father, which had a &rofound effect on both our subse#uent
lives.
We left the maternity home to stay with my &aternal
grand&arents in the Berkshire countryside. 0ater we went to
friends in Scotland where (ather"s shi& had been based.
When (ather was a small boy, :randfather had been du&ed
out of most of his money by a rogue business &artner. As a
result, he had had to roll u& his sleeves and take a $ob as a
travelling salesman. By all accounts the family moved around
#uite a lot, living variously in !orth Wales, Sussex and
0ondon. (ather being a bright child, was lucky enough to
com&lete his education at Bichmond :rammar School. =&on
leaving, he was articled to an accountancy firm. ?owever, after
a few months, enough was enough, and he ran away to sea".
Actually, he went to the Boyal !avy"s recruiting office and
signed u&". So his naval career was launched" in -.33 and he
never looked back.
:randmother was a farmer"s daughter from ?ertfordshire
who went to 0ondon to find em&loyment, #uite adventurous
for a lass in the early 56th century. She was hired by
Whiteley"s +e&artment Store in the sheet music de&artment.
?ow she and grandfather met I"m not sure. They were married
in 0ondon and (ather was born in (inchley in -.-2.
'y maternal grandmother was herself a World War I
widow. The struggle she had bringing u& a child in those
dreadful days of &ost>war austerity and very little assistance
from the government, must have been immense.
She had also been born in 0ondon, one of -6 children, and
went to work as a milliner at her aunt"s hat sho&. :rand&a was
a 0ondoner, one of four children, and worked in the accounts
de&artment of an ironmongers firm in the %ity. They met and
married young and mother eventually came along in -.-).
:randma was a cuddly, roly>&oly little lady. She always
retained her wry sense of humour, even in adversity. In
:rand&a"s &hoto I see a handsome young man, so treasured by
his wife and family. ?e need not have $oined the rush to take
the Cing"s Shilling during -.-1<-*. ?is was in a reserved
occu&ation, 'other said, and therefore he would have been
excused military service. %onscientiously, he had felt he
should march alongside his friends and relatives going off to
the front. And so it was that doing his brave duty, he fell in
Actober -.-) and was buried in the ,as>de>%alais. 'other,
the third &arty" as he had referred to her affectionately in
letters, was four months old.
In -.16 :randma had moved from the bombing in
,ortsmouth to the tem&orary, safer haven of 0eamington S&a
and this is where I s&ent much of my babyhood, blissfully
unaware of the horrors of war. Both 'other and (ather were
only childrenD therefore I had no uncles, aunts or first cousins.
There was, however, no shortage of great>aunts and uncles to
dote on me.
'y earliest memories are of a house in Southsea to which
we had all decam&ed at the end of the war. We occu&ied an
9dwardian terraced &ro&erty with cream &ainted elevations,
high ceilings and $ust a glim&se towards the es&lanade through
the big sash windows. We had a lodger called Tim, an older
man, tall like :ary %oo&er and endlessly &atient with the little
girl who demanded his attention. Was he :randma"s lover@ I
shall never know. 'other was not in good health. An the verge
of a nervous breakdown, she was on barbiturates, sometimes
walking with a stick.
I had a vague realisation of (ather not being here. ?as my
+addy gone u& to the Angels@" I asked 'other. A huge tear
rolled down her face. ;es he has" < hastily exiting the room.
;ears later, as an older child, I railed against the unfairness of
this hurt and the knowledge that I would never know him.
Secret tears were shed at many a bedtime.
Another calamity had struck us when I was two years old.
:randfather in Berkshire died of cancer. ?e had been
heartbroken at the death of his only son and never really
recovered. I can $ust remember bouncing on his knee or
&laying hide>and>seek behind the sofa with much hilarity.
Back in Southsea, life went on much the same. A garden at
the rear with a lawn and &lenty of shrubs and bushes for make>
believe games com&leted my little universe. I became a self>
sufficient child, &laying alone for hours. 9xce&t, that is, for my
beloved com&anions %at, and Sally the black s&aniel. These
gentle creatures allowed me to dress them in dolls" clothes and
&ush them in the dolls" &ram. The occasional visiting young
school friend or cousin who may wish to borrow" my toys was
an unwelcome guest.
%hristmases were times of great excitement for me.
Although rationing was still in force, there were always
co&ious amounts of food on the table. Ance again, great>aunts
and uncles danced attendance on the only child in the
gathering. Santa %laus was generous too. A treasured gift was
a doll"s house actually made out of a box in which a&&les had
been trans&orted. But it had an u&&er and lower floor, brick
&atterned &a&er covering the exterior and an o&eningEclosing
front. To me this toy was as wonderful as Fueen 'ary"s +olls
?ouse. 'iniature furniture was ac#uiredEmade by Tim and
=ncle Boger and I $ust adored &laying house" with the
miniature &eo&le inside.
Sometimes we would receive a visit from :reat Aunt
:racie, maternal :randfather"s sister. She seemed to have a
strange dress sense, always in a dark suit and stockings, to&&ed
off with a bonnet tied with ribbons and carrying a rolled
umbrella. I realised much later, that of course she was a
member of the Salvation Army, with the rank of 'a$or. She
was #uite stern, not being used to children, and took a dim
view of my rom&s with the &et cat and dog. When she &assed
away in her eighties, though, she left me her &iano and all her
secular musicG Sadly, mice had taken u& residence inside the
&iano and munched their way through whatever material these
rodents find tasty. And so it was consigned to the flames on the
back garden bonfire and my musical career ended before it
began.
=ncle Boger came to stay every weekend. ?e was, in fact,
'other"s first cousin. I su&&ose he could be described as tall,
dark and handsome with horn>rimmed glasses and an
infectious laugh. ?e seemed to take an interest in my &rogress.
We &layed together in our garden. ?e had been a soldier in the
war and now lived back at home in 0ondon with his &arents.
'other and Boger were soon an item. Boxes of chocolates < a
wonderful &ost>war luxury < tri&s to the &ictures", various
forays, &erha&s to the Isle of Wight, were treats, which must
have served to allay mother"s sorrow, but her health remained
fragile.
I once ran to tell :randma that =ncle Boger and 'other
were &laying Sardines" on the chaise longue. I guess she had a
secret smile, but reassured me that it was a grown>u&"s version
and no, I could not $oin in.
Some Sunday mornings =ncle Boger would take me to
Southsea seafront where we would stroll across 0adies" 'ile
and back along the &romenade. To to& off the treat, a &int for
Boger, a lemonade for me, and two &enny &ieces to s&end in
the games machines on South ,arade ,ier. =&on return home,
the wonderful aroma of a Sunday roast greeted us.
Although 'other"s longing for a son was in vain, she
dressed me in &retty clothes, some run u& on the old Singer
machine. ?owever, ironically, I was a tomboy, never ha&&ier
than in a rough>house" with little boys to whose &arties I was
fre#uently invited, coming back with the &arty dress in tatters.
,erha&s 'other should have been careful what she wished for.
Tim was ha&&y to &lay schools" with me. I delighted in
being Teacher and he received a shar& ra& on the knuckles with
a ruler for getting his sums wrong".
:reat Aunt :ertie would often visit and took it u&on
herself to hel& with my reading, also teaching me the basics of
knitting. I would sit on her knee and &eer at her mouth, as I
could always hear a ticking noise. She"s got a watch in her
mouth" I thought to myself. Af course it was really her loose
dentures forever on the move. ,oor Aunt :ertie. She meant so
well.
Beatrix ,otter books were my favourites, and sitting on
Auntie or :randma"s knee, having heard The Tale of Mr
Jeremy Fisher so often, I would recite it, causing &eo&le to say
what an early and &roficient reader I was.
An the entertainment front, the wireless broadcast half
hour comedy shows such as ITMA and Much-Binding in the
Marsh, in which 'other and :randma could see the $okes,
but I $ust en$oyed the funny voices. There were Workers
Playtime, ouse!i"es #hoice and $ducating Archie to
raise the nation"s &ost>war s&irits too. The first film I was taken
to see was Bam%i. When his mother was killed, I was
heartbroken and cried so loudly that 'other had to take me
out. (or years afterwards I couldn"t hear the theme music
without bursting into tears.
At the theatre, I was taken to see #inderella and was
fascinated with every as&ect of the &antomime, es&ecially the
flying ballet" when the dancers swung on tra&e/es towards the
audience. That"s what I want to do when I grow u& I thought.
Another tri& was to see The Billy #otton Band &ho! with
singers Alan Bree/e and Cathy Caye. Ance again, this show
business lark really a&&ealed to me. To be fair, 'other did
send me to ballet classes at an early age. ?owever, each week
the teacher made the &ractice of lining us u& against the barre
and wrenching our legs skywards. After half a term of this
uncomfortable treatment, I refused to carry on with the classes.
Af course, dedicated ballerinas have to endure all sorts of
discomfortsD &erha&s I wasn"t cut out for the stage after all.
:randma was not in robust health. She had a fall as a
young woman and her back was irre&arably damaged. She had
numerous bouts of surgery to try to correct it. :enerally, she
was able to kee& the household together, sho&&ing and
cooking, washing laundry. A local woman came in to clean.
Ather times :randma was confined to bed and a nurse would
come in to attend to her. I adored her and found great comfort
in snuggling u& to her am&le bosom in her chair or bed. She
would sing to me, the old songs < 'aisy( 'aisy, )ily of
)aguna and so on. Then I would sing to her *un *a%%it( *un
*a%%it( *un( *un( *un followed by the exclamation Isn"t it
shockingG"
But I was soon to lose her, yet another dee&ly loved
grand&arent. 9ventually, she develo&ed TB s&ine and had a
&ermanent wound which never healed.
The summer of -.1), I believe was a hot one. Auntie
Brenda was marrying her Boyal 'arine in Southsea. 'other
was to be matron>of>honour and I was the cute little
bridesmaid. ?ow lovely 'other looked in white with a cherry
red cre&e $acket. 'y outfit echoed this with white dress and
red sash, and the flowers we carried were smaller versions of
auntie"s bou#uet. She looked radiant, and her marine as
handsome and dashing as 9rrol (lynn. All went well at the
church ceremony. But, at the rece&tion in a smart hotel, I sat on
the floor demanding a &iece of wedding cake. !ot so cute.
'other and I ha&&ened to be visiting :randmother in
Berkshire when the &unishing winter of -.1)E* set in. !o
trains moved for some while and we had no o&tion but to
remain there. Hery little food was in the sho&s and coal to burn
in grates < &re>central heating < was in short su&&ly.
:randmother a&&arently cast about for anything to burn,
including broom heads and the like. 'y only enduring
memory of this terrible time is not of feeling cold or hungry,
but of seeing a s&arrow fro/en to the clothesline in the garden.
By -.1* the time was a&&roaching for me to start school in
the autumn term. I eagerly awaited the first day and &araded
around in uniform whenever allowed. Whole new ex&eriences
were out there for the taking. 'other must be congratulated for
securing from the Admiralty, as a less>than>well>off widow, the
&ayment of the fees for my entire school career, thereby
enabling me to receive a &rivate education.
Start of term arrived. It was time to don the longed>for
uniform < navy felt hat with badge, white blouse, tie and
gymsli& and lastly, navy bla/er with &ink &i&ing, and school
badge on the &ocket. 'other delivered me to Teacher at the
&rivate school close to the seafront. She welcomed me, and all
her other charges, so warmly that any last minute nerves were
soon dis&elled. 'ost children, including myself, had brought
an a&&le to eat at break time. Teacher &laced them all on the
windowsills for each child to claim their own. Af course,
young children, lacking many social skills, grabbed the nearest
a&&le and mine, or any other, were nowhere to be found. A
salutary lesson for later life, I think.
Although a good student, I was also a troublesome child.
'uch time was s&ent either standing in a corner, or worse,
visiting the headmistress"s study for a severe ticking off. ?ave
you been doing something of which you are ashamed, Alison@"
she would ask. ;es 'rs 0ovegrove" I would admit, not having
the faintest idea what the nature of my crime was su&&osed to
be. Ar could it have been throwing one of the boy"s ca&s over
the &layground wall, aiming &a&er &ellets at another child in
class, &erha&s &ulling a girl"s &igtails@
An more than one occasion, I had to line u& with some of
the boys < no other girls < in front of teacher to receive a few
strokes of the ruler across my hand. A harsh &unishment for
talking in classG
Sur&risingly, I seemed &o&ular enough with fellow
classmates. 'any &arties were attended. Anly a Punch and
Judy show scared me into silence, and 'other was summoned
to remove me from the &roceedings.
In s&ite of the &unishments, I still loved school, willingly
attending and, on some (ridays, even being awarded the 'erit
Badge for best academic &u&il. 'other was &roud of me then
and could even overlook the gender &roblem. She even took
me for a &hoto shoot at the ,oly&hoto studios to ca&ture the
award for &osterity.
In the absence of vaccinations against measles, mum&s and
other childhood illnesses, most newcomers to school inevitably
caught a disease before the first term was out. 'easles is a
nasty illness and I was confined to bed for some time. A fire
was lit in the bedroom grate and the blackout curtains ke&t
drawn as strong light can also have a detrimental effect on the
&atient"s eyes. There was a big, brown bear in my bedroom
too. ?e stood very still by the window curtains. All the same, I
knew if I moved he would come and eat me u&.
I guess the classroom was &retty em&ty for a few weeks.
?owever, u&on return, I fell into daily lessons with gusto. A lot
of teaching was done by having children recite either times
tables", counting, the al&habet and so on.
The following year, a s&ecial treat was in store for me,
courtesy of my godfather"s naval connections. Bemarkably,
after sustaining horrific in$uries at the time (ather was killed,
he had in due course returned to serve a little longer in the
Boyal !avy. ?e had now arranged for me to go aboard the
battleshi& +nited &tates &hi, Missouri, moored in ,ortsmouth
+ockyard, where the shi&"s com&any was kindly throwing a
&arty for all local children of Boyal !avy &ersonnel who died
in World War II.
I remember en$oying sandwiches and iced buns, washed
down with lemonade. 'ostly, I was fascinated with looking u&
at the huge su&erstructure and wanting to visit the bridge,
which of course was a no>go area. There were lots of men
wearing soft, white hats and they s&oke to us in unusual
voices. At the end of the visit, each child was &resented with a
medallion commemorating the signing of the ,eace Treaty
between the =nited States and Ia&an in August -.18 on board
Missouri. The shi& was at that time at anchor in Tokyo Bay.
Accasionally, over the years, we visited my god&arents in
their &retty thatched cottage in a ?am&shire village. By this
time they had a young daughter, after many years of trying.
:odfather always seemed hos&itable, but 'other said he didn"t
really want to see me, as I reminded him too much of (ather <
like seeing a ghostG
By the summer of -.86 :randma was &ermanently in
hos&ital where little could be done to im&rove her health.
9ventually she was transferred to a nursing home", in reality a
hos&ice.
In the school holidays 'other took me to 0ondon to stay
with friends. I antici&ated my seventh birthday with great
excitement. ?owever, my life was to change radically. 'other
said we would not be returning to Southsea and that my darling
&ets had gone to live with the Hicar". I was &u//led and sad
and felt like a lost soul.
Aur lodger, Tim, had a&&arently needed to find other
lodgings and I would only see him again once more, some
years later.
2
1950 1953
The 8th Se&tember dawned. I was consoled by the gift of a
scooter. We arrived at =ncle Boger"s &arents" house where
many relatives were in attendance. 'other and Boger and
some others then drove off in cars, only to return in a few
hours to announce that they were married. I wasn"t too
interested, not aware of the ramifications of it all. There was
&lenty of food set out in the dining room and of course my
scooter to &lay on.
The next day saw us at ,addington Station to catch a steam
train to +idcot and thence to :randmother"s house. This was to
be 'other and Boger"s honeymoon, with me in towG
:randmother had discreetly arranged to go away to friends for
a week. What did she think of this new husband re&lacing her
son in 'other"s affections@ I believe it was a marriage of
convenience. !o woman, es&ecially with a child, could be
ex&ected to su&&ort herself in those &ost>war years. She had
had a meagre widow"s &ension, forfeited u&on remarriage.
Boger had a great career ahead in the electronics industry and
the future was rosy for them.
This is your bedroom Alison". =ncle Boger had found us
a nicely a&&ointed flat in south 0ondon. It was a&&ealing
enough, if smaller than I had been used to and did have the
benefit of a com&act garden at the rear. We"re going to get
you some goldfish to look after, and soon a new kitten too,"
Things were really looking u&.
At first, Boger would go off to work on his bike, but he
soon became the owner of a luxurious, albeit second>hand,
Trium&h Benown family saloon. It had what was called a
ra/or>edge finish bodywork in silver, a wooden coach>built
dashboard and comfortable leather seats. This was a wonderful
ac#uisition so soon after the war when a lot of &eo&le couldn"t
have a car at all, and I felt like the Fueen of Sheba riding
around in the rear seat.
?owever, the area was strange and I didn"t know any of
the children in the neighbourhood. This was soon to change.
There were #uite a few boys in ad$acent flats and they #uickly
took the o&&ortunity to make life difficult for the new girl on
the block. I had always en$oyed boys" com&any, but these
seemed tougher than others I had encountered. 'other
mistakenly arranged for them to accom&any me to and from
Sunday School that first winter. After a few weeks of being
their &unch bag on the way home, I finally &rotested that I was
giving Sunday School a miss from now on. 'other &robably
com&lained to their &arents but the likelihood of their
contrition is doubtful.
A few months later whilst &laying in the garden, s&otting
one of the tough guys" next door, I filled a bicycle &um& with
water and gave him a good dousing from a hidden view&oint. I
think if he"d caught me, I would have been in a tight s&ot.
0uckily, the boughs of the a&&le tree hid me and he gave u& the
search.
Aver the fence on the other side of the garden lived
another little girl of about my age. She had more &rurient
&ursuits in mind. An seeing me &laying outside, she would
suggest that we &lay rudie" and &roceeded to ex&ose her
&udenda through the slats of the fence. I was tem&ted to follow
suit once or twice, but then thought better of it, es&ecially
when Boger a&&eared at the back door and regarded me
sus&iciously.
At about this time, Boger took u& the first of what was to
be his many hobbies over the years, tro&ical fish kee&ing. This
&astime would demand much care and attention to the task.
The fish tanks had to be maintained at a constant 4tro&ical@7
tem&eratureD have the glass scra&ed on a regular basis and the
feeding carried out in a timely fashion. The stocks were
gradually added to with an array of s&ectacularly coloured fish
being introduced almost weekly. Accasionally one breed of
fish took exce&tion to another ty&e $oining the grou&, and
would viciously attack the new arrival. Siamese fighting fish
were, understandably, the worst offenders. The wounded &arty
would then have to be retrieved in a small net and &ut into
another tank with friendlier com&anions.
This hobby continued for some years until, after a
weekend away, on our return some of the fish had mysteriously
managed to lea& from the tanks to their death on the living
room floor. The survivors were not in great sha&e either and,
shortly afterwards the tanks were #uietly removed and fish
kee&ing was abandoned.
!ext came &hotogra&hy. A 0eica camera and all the lights,
meters and other &ara&hernalia were ac#uired. 'other
occasionally, myself often, and any unsus&ecting visitor at
once became sub$ects" to sit for a black and white &ortrait.
The camera accom&anied us on every outing or long weekend
and, in fact, many excellent scenes, interesting buildings and
any character" who would stand still long enough were
ca&tured for &osterity. Boger always stuck to the black and
white genre as colour was considered an un>aesthetic medium
used by the modern $ohnnies. A dark room for develo&ing the
&ictures was created in the cu&board under the stairs and this
hobby also endured for many years.
Subse#uent &astimes included beer making, light aircraft
flying, well, in reality sitting in the right hand seat 4next to a
friend who was in the left hand seat as &ilot7 and model shi&
and aircraft building. Boger loved his &astimes and often felt
work unfairly cut across his leisure time.
Something Boger and I had in common was the love of
0aurel and ?ardy films and their &articular kind of humour. In
later years, when the duo"s work was a regular feature on TH at
every Bank ?oliday and %hristmas, Boger and I were to be
found crying" with laughter at their antics.
It was with much tre&idation that on the first day of
autumn term -.86 I was escorted to the front door of my new
school, into the charge of a kindly, white>haired lady, my new
teacher 'iss Bobinson. It was rather like $oining a &arty, which
had been going on for some hours and all the guests had settled
in comfortably. I was the only new &u&il and was not in the
least comfortable.
=& to the age of eight, this small &rivate school was co>ed.
Ance again, I could find &layground &als amongst the boys and
some rough>and>tumble. Sometimes an unlucky kick on the
shin or &unch in the stomach was the &rice for kee&ing such
com&any. !o doubt my teacher des&aired of my &ros&ects of
being honed into a demure young lady, fit to $oin &olite society.
This would have been seen as &art of a gel"s" rounded
education in those far>off days.
In !ovember -.86 :randma finally succumbed to the TB
s&ine, which she had endured for so long. She was 28 years
old. %hildren do not realise the finality of death, and so I
&erha&s ho&ed that one day we might be reunited in this life.
'other had another &ro&" kicked away and must have felt
such grief.
An moving u& a class at my school when boys were no
longer an entity, I develo&ed two close female friends <
friendshi&s, which would endure until leaving day and beyond.
0illian was the middle child of a wealthy family. ?er
mother had a drink &roblem and conse#uently the three
children were either self>reliant, or in 0illian"s case, heavily
de&endent on their !anny"s ministrations. All the same, I loved
going to her house for tea after school. They always seemed to
have chocolate cake and more exotic food than I was &resented
with at home such as sandwich s&read. Ane day we were to
have strawberries and cream, but her mother, in her cu&s",
s&rinkled them with salt instead of caster sugar, so the treat
was s&oilt.
0illian, a left>hander, was extremely clever and read
co&iously, but inevitably suffered from the home environment.
?er father was a charming man, but #uite unable to take
control of any domestic situation.
Iulie was an only child of an older mother, a widow, and,
with a gentleman lodger"D they shared a home not far from
mine. Also a left>hander, Iulie was no slouch in the classroom
and also good at s&orts, des&ite being an asthma sufferer.
Their left>handedness is significant in that, contrary to
received wisdom that &ut me, as a right>hander, in the minority
within the trio.
We three were to become inse&arable as the years
&rogressed and the cause of much consternation to teaching
staff and fellow &u&ils alike. We #uickly invented a make>
believe character and her friends, about whom we took turns to
make u& far>fetched stories at break and lunchtime.
We all $oined the school Brownie &ack. The teachings of
that movement, and subse#uently the :irl :uides, to which we
flew u&", were worthwhile rules of thumb for a young girl.
Aur favourite activities were though, tracking, cam&fires and
cooking half raw &astry on a stick with sausages, and
scrambled egg in a &a&er bag. We did not suffer food
&oisoning and were never burnt by the flames < ?ealth and
Safety ,olice &lease note.
Another thrilling &ursuit was constructing a means of
crossing the school brook with only &oles and ro&es. All was
going well until Brown Awl ventured to demonstrate the safety
of the contra&tion and fell feet first into the water. ?ow we
laughed. We soon regretted our uncharitable attitude when she
gave us the ticking off of our lives. We were very re&entant
and tried to be better :uides in future. But as time went on
other &astimes came to the fore and all three of us gave u&
:uiding, &ossibly to the relief of Brown Awl and the rest of
the &ack.
-.8- saw the &ost war wonders of the (estival of Britain
on the south bank of the Thames. I was taken to see the
ama/ing s&ectacle, but my only recollections are of the +ome
of +iscovery housing a stuffed bear and the Skylon, which
a&&eared to hang in mid>air. The enduring legacy of the
(estival is, of course, the Boyal (estival ?all.
=nbelievably, also in the summer of -.8-, it was feared
that a third world war might be imminent. I was too young to
understand anything about war, other than the fact that it had
claimed my father. ?owever, 'other and Boger advised me
one day that Boger had to go away to &ractice being a soldier
again in case he was needed to fight for our country once
more.
And so it was that the three of us travelled to ,addington
Station where Boger boarded a very long train, which steamed
away carrying him and his com&anions down to the West
%ountry where they were to attend training cam& for three
weeks. Ance again, 'other shed huge tears. Af course she
must have been dreading the &ros&ect of yet another war,
another &otential widowhood. Thankfully, no war was declared
and Boger duly returned home safely. I think by this time
'other"s &sychological state had stabilised and she no longer
re#uired medication.
%ertain foods were still on ration in the early -.86s,
including bread, meat and sweets and chocolates. 9very (riday
after school, 'other would take me to the little sweetsho& and
tobacconists at the end of our road where I could choose which
sweets to s&end my cou&ons on that week. They were things to
be eked out and eaten $udiciously, to try to make them last a
whole week. 'y selection &robably consisted of some sherbet
lemons, which the lady shovelled out of an enormous glass $ar
into a &a&er bag, a %adbury"s chocolate bar, and, if there was
still a ha"&enny"s worth of cou&on left, a gobsto&&er, which
could be sucked for hours and changed colour too. Boger used
his weekly sweet ration to buy a box of Black 'agic dark
chocolates every (riday. This was luxury indeed and I was
always allowed to choose the coffee cream.
When sweets came off the ration, there were no holds
barred and I couldn"t get enough, &o&&ing into the
confectioners handily located next to the bus sto& on the way
home from school. Any wonder that it took a terrible toll on
my teeth, which had fillings galore by the time I was twenty
years old.
'other still had the chore of #ueuing at the butchers and
bakers for &rovisions. School lunches usually consisted of
meat maybe twice a week, sometimes even rabbit before the
'yxomatosis scare, but a lot of suet &astry, &otato, some
cheese and other fillers" too. The doughty school cook could
whi& u& meals on meagre rations, I guess. The vegetables
though were sub$ected to a lot of boiling, mashing and re>
heating, which did nothing for the flavour or indeed the
vitamin content. Boly>&oly &uddings were her ,iece de
resistance and came with custard, chocolate sauce, syru&
4watered down7 or $am 4likewise7. ?ow we grumbled, but ate
u& every meal and didn"t suffer either.
Boger was a bit of a boffin in the burgeoning electronics
industry. ?is s&eciality was in hi>fidelity sound e#ui&ment and
the manufacture of louds&eakers. 9ventually we were to have
chunky wooden s&eaker cabinets, tweeters, woofers and other
gi/mos installed in our sitting room. In those days of cathode
ray tubes and valves Boger also had the skill to build a
television set. This had &ride of &lace in the sitting room. I had
never seen or heard of such a thing before. ?ow wonderful to
be able to view the children"s TH on the black and white nine>
inch screen and watch news being brought directly into the
home. !ewscasts were conducted by ladies and gentlemen
with cli&&ed accents and wearing evening dressG
By this time 'other, not wanting to sit at home all day,
had taken a &art>time $ob in the next town. Ane day after
school I had been instructed to wait for her to get off the bus
and meet me outside the &ost office. After about half an hour"s
wait, and now with a full bladder, anxiety and the urge to wee
overcame me. As the hot li#uid ran down my legs and into my
school uniform shoes, a classmate came out of the &ost office
with her father and loudly &ointed out my &redicament. I was
so ashamed and u&set, and with no sign of 'other, decided to
walk towards home.
After s#uelchily &atrolling the main road a few times,
feeling extremely uncomfortable, still mother had not
a&&eared. I sto&&ed a com&lete stranger and asked her tearfully
?ave you seen my 'ummy@" Af course she had not, even if
she knew her, which she did not, and continued on her way. In
another few minutes, 'other at last a&&eared on the hori/on
and, with no a&ology, asked me why I had not been at the
a&&ointed meeting &laceG
=&on leaving school one day in (ebruary -.85, Iulie and I
were met by her mother, who informed us that ?is 'a$esty
Cing :eorge HI had &assed away. In -.1) I had been taken to
,ortsmouth +ockyard station to glim&se the Cing and Fueen
and the two ,rincesses arriving to embark on their South
African visit aboard M& -anguard. We then hurried to the
seafront to watch the vessel sail away. !ow the Cing was
gone, a new 9li/abethan era was about to begin.
When Fueen 9li/abeth II was crowned at Westminster
Abbey in Iune -.83 the entire ceremony was televised.
Anyone with a set was suddenly a &o&ular neighbour, and
visitors s#uee/ed into our sitting room to share the ex&erience.
3
1954
In the school summer holidays of that year I was looking
forward to going to stay with :randmother in Berkshire. She
was a rangy, handsome woman with formidable mental and
&hysical strength. I guess she had had to learn to do" for
herself having no male relatives left to rely on.
When I was of an age to travel alone, &robably only ten or
eleven, which was regarded as acce&table in those days, and
with the :uard kee&ing an eye on me", 'other would &ut me
on the steam train at ,addington Station and :randmother
would be waiting for me at +idcot Iunction. 'other never said
?ave a good time" but, as the train &ulled out, +on"t forget to
rinse your flannel". It never occurred to me at the time what a
bi/arre farewell that was.
Af the eight weeks holiday, at least five weeks were s&ent
with :randmother in the countryside, as it was then, before the
urban s&rawl encroached, and I adored every minute. ?er
garden was huge. She grew vegetables and trimmed the lawns
and hedges. ?ollyhocks grew along the sidewall, there was a
very climb>able a&&le tree and the fragrant lavender hedge was
an inexhaustible source of colourful butterflies. (rogs and
toads fre#uented the brook at the bottom of the garden and I
ado&ted a hedgehog, &utting out dishes of bread and milk.
Sadly, ?edgey was found dead one day and received an
a&&ro&riate burial with cross erected in the lawn. !ext door"s
cat came over to &lay from time to time, so I was never short
of com&any of one sort or another.
There was &lenty of s&ace for me and visiting neighbours"
children to &lay from dawn to dusk. Admittedly they were
mostly boys, but I did let the occasional girl have certain
access to my dolls and &ram. Sometimes a &retend wedding
ceremony was conducted, me always being the bride with an
old net curtain on my head. Ather times, I would &eer
curiously through the garden hedge at other children &laying
doctors and nurses" in the ad$oining field, wondering what
exactly it was all about. %owboys and Indians" or tree
climbing were the &referred &astimes though, and when called
in for meals, healthily sun>kissed and tousled, :randmother
never chastised me. (or a Hictorian lady she was extremely
broad>minded on all sub$ects and far more a&&roachable than
'other, I felt.
%ooking was not :randmother"s strong suit, however she
did her best for her young visitor by making a fruitcake every
(riday without fail. =nfortunately, by Saturday it was going
slightly dry, and by Sunday I was encouraged to eat a slice
lavishly slathered in butter, which certainly made it easier to
swallow. She occasionally made a blancmange, a real treatD or
would have been if she had not insisted that it would be kinder
on my digestion to have it with a slice of bread and butterG The
very idea made me want to retch, but somehow I forced down
the delicacy, not to hurt :ranny"s feelings.
She was not by any means a domesticated, skilled
homemaker, &referring to dig the vegetable &atch or mow the
lawn, or for us to take a country walk. I en$oyed &icking the
wildflowers from the hedgerows and making an arrangement
when we got home. Accasionally she would say that I could
carry the grass cli&&ers when we went round to the churchyard.
There she would trim the grass on :randfather"s grave. I
would gather a little &osy of wild flowers and &lace them on
to&.
She would, from time to time, have a blit/" on the
household chores, with tins of beeswax, feather duster and
Bissell floor swee&er. I would sometimes be winged" by the
lavatory brush flying out of the bathroom window < not a nice
item to be ke&t inside the houseG !o modern detergents or even
sham&oos were used at :randmother"s. +ishwashing and
laundry were com&leted with the used of soda crystals to cut
the grease and dirt. 'ore delicate items of clothing and hair
washing were done with Borax &owder. The house had no
electrical gadgets, only the electric light and the wireless.
Ironing was carried out with flat irons heated on the living
room range.
Sometimes I would set u& cricket stum&s. :randmother
was batsman. I came in to bowl and she would knock it away
to the covers". %ome on :ranny, why can"t you run@" I would
ca$ole. She then tried to &ut on a bit of a s&urt". This was a
woman with heart disease, as yet undiagnosed.
:ranny had a wonderful old Bakelite wireless set, which
was switched on without fail at * a.m. every morning to hear
the news from the ?ome Service. I was allowed to )isten !ith
Mother and, when older to listen to The Archers, of which
:ranny was an avid fan. I could never see the attraction of the
everyday story of country folk" myself. I do remember hearing
the e&isode when :race Archer died in a fire.
We also tuned in to #hildrens our for Toy Town" or
Jennings at &chool, but with the advent of The .oon &ho!,
the wireless was #uickly switched off so as not to corru&t my
young mindG When older, I was certainly a :oon fan, and also
of the other work of ,eter Sellers.
Accasionally, for a very s&ecial treat, she would make u& a
&icnic of egg sandwiches, a flask of hot milk and a bag of
barley sugars and announce that we were going out for the day.
:ranny usually wore a brown felt hat and matching $acket,
whatever the summer tem&erature. It was unladylike for an
adult female to a&&ear in &ublic without her arms coveredG
;oung girls were usually kitted out in a floral cotton frock with
white cardigan and socks. These were duly donned and we set
off. It may have been on a coach tri& to, say, ?am&ton %ourt
,alace, Blenheim ,alace, Whi&snade Joo or a travelling
circus. Ather times we took the train to Beading for sho&&ing
or Axford for a 'ay (air, the Ashmolean 'useum or a river
tri&. I adored :randmother and count myself lucky to have had
two such lovely :rans".
:randmother, though, did have one vice < occasional
smoking. Sometimes she would give me a cou&le of silver
coins and ask me to go u& the road to the corner tobacconists
and sweet sho&. Would I &lease ask 'rs Smith the &ro&rietor
for a &acket of ten ,layers Weights. They were the smallest
cigarettes one could buy then. I could also get a small bar of
chocolate for doing the errand. 'rs Smith had no #ualms about
selling tobacco to a young girl, and I returned with the booty.
Ane day, dressed in &ristine summer frock and white
cardigan, I went once more on my little mission, but never
made it. The neighbouring house had an enormous Irish
Wolfhound who used to hang over the garden gate to talk" to
&assers>by. An seeing me on the o&&osite side of the road, he
somehow crashed through the gate, across the road and started
to &aw my shoulders. The more I &rotested and &ushed him
away, the better he thought the game. 'y loose change went
flying and of course my clean clothes were wrecked. I could
not rid myself of the frantic attentions of the animal and burst
into tears, finally to be rescued by another neighbour who
s&otted my &redicament.
When :randmother saw me coming back in such a state,
she was incensed. 'other and Boger were coming to fetch me
that very afternoon and here I was in tatters. I was #uickly
cleaned u& and re>kitted, then :randmother set off to give the
neighbours a &iece of her mind about having an uncontrollable
animal. I ho&e they were contrite.
Back home once again, it was sometimes &u//ling to me to
hear 'other and Boger"s raised voices late at night. All was
not well I came to realise, and found their rows unsettling.
An other occasions, all seemed calm and Boger would
announce on a (riday or Saturday evening that we were going
out in the car to have dinner or maybe to The Pictures. An
outing to an hotel, or sometimes to 0yons %orner ?ouse in the
Strand, to be treated to dinner would have been ama/ing for
ordinary &eo&le in the early "86s, let alone a young child.
These were the days before baby>sitters, of course, and with no
family close by I guess they had no choice but to include me.
Anyway, I fell into the ways of this high life" with gusto,
always choosing chicken for dinner 4a real delicacy then7.
Bobert Taylor, 9rrol (lynn, Burt 0ancaster were all great
heroes of the screen and I was in my element in the &lush seats
of the local cinema, once again receiving a treat of ice cream
or a chocolate bar.
Ane evening we went to see Iack ?awkins in The #ruel
&ea, an account of the Atlantic %onvoys in World War II.
=&on arriving at the cinema ticket office, we were told that the
house was com&letely sold out. Boger ste&&ed in and informed
the manager that his wife was the widow of one of the heroes
of that cam&aign and that something must be done" to
accommodate us. As a result, we were swiftly conducted to
seats in a box, from where we viewed the film in comfort. It
must have been a bittersweet ex&erience for 'other, though.
At other times, I had the distinct feeling of being farmed
out" while 'other and Boger went about activities related to
his business. After the (estival of Britain, a whole new
technical era was afoot and Boger wanted to showcase his hi>
fidelity e#ui&ment at the trade fairs, which s&rung u&, mainly
in 0ondon. So, of course, I would be a hindrance to their
im&ortant activities while that was all going on. If it was
school holidays I could go to :randmother"s or an auntie in
Cent, or in term time to 0illian"s home. Hery little slee& was
had there. We would have midnight feasts, make u& fantastic
stories and &lay Snakes and 0adders" by the light of a torch <
not easy. %onse#uently, our attention in class the next day
suffered somewhat.
Schooldays were not my favourite time, but I a&&lied
myself to the business of learning, homework and so forth.
0ater in life I sur&rised myself with how much information I
must have absorbed in the classroom.
+isci&line was a more vexed &roblem, certainly to my
hard>&ressed teachers. 0illian, Iulie and I were marked out as
the troublesome trio, disru&tive in class, boisterous in the
&layground. But for some reason I seemed to be the one with
the worst re&utation, always nabbed and taking the blame
while the other two giggled round the corner.
This should have been another lesson in &ersonal conduct
for the rest of my life. =nfortunately, I did not seem to learn
from my mistakes. Always cover your rear end" would have
been a good rule of thumb. I think I was destined to remain an
innocent abroad" for a very long time, however.
=&on the demise of our imaginary friend, the three of us
develo&ed a secret language, which only we could understand.
This drove everyone else mad as we gabbled to each other over
break time or lunch. I can still remember the rules of it to this
day.
Ane of my favourite lessons was gymnastics 4,.9.
nowadays7. The &hysicality of all the different &ieces of
e#ui&ment was $ust what I loved. Besides, time s&ent in the
gym meant less time for sitting still in class. !etball was one
of my favourite s&orts during school days. =nfortunately, I was
#uite accident &rone, often having a s&rained finger, or
sometimes a broken one. With the latter, I would then have to
go to Aut&atients at the local cottage hos&ital and have it
stra&&ed u&. With one misha& and another, I began to be #uite
a regular there.
Worse was to come when showing off my balancing skills
in the bicycle shed, I sli&&ed and gouged skin and flesh out of
each shin. Aff to hos&ital again, I was trans&orted in a
teacher"s car to the casualty de&artment. Suitably disinfected
and stitched u&, I was kindly delivered home to mother who
was concerned at my late arrival. !ot much sym&athy was on
the cards, though, from school or home as I shouldn"t have
been in the bike shed anyway", as I travelled to school by bus.
?o, hum. The scars took many years to fade, in fact are still
slightly visible to this day.
As the years &rogressed, I came to terms with the strictures
of school life and was aware that I must a&&ly myself to
studying. The dreaded :%9s were a long way in the future, but
teachers instilled in us the value of a student mind>set. 'uch
homework was set even then and #uite demanding sub$ects
such as 0atin and Algebra were on the curriculum.
In -.81 'other, Boger and I moved to a house in leafy
Surrey. I could still attend the same school but had to take a
bus or cycle there. The house was a smart -.36s semi>
detached, with three bedrooms and a small back garden for me
to &lay in, and $ust walking distance from the bus sto&.
That %hristmas, the school &roduction was to be Treasure
Island. I was thrilled to be cast in the role of Iim ?awkins.
This involved a lot of running about on the deck", hiding in
barrels and of course &laying sidekick to 0ong Iohn Silver and
his &arrot. In subse#uent years I also &layed a s#uirrel in Wind
in the Willo!s and recited &art of a &oem involving Cing
9dward"s ?omberg hat, and began to regard myself as #uite a
seasoned &ro" by this time.
Summer terms brought other excitements. The school
A&en +ay and (ete, one of the few occasions that &arents were
allowed to cross the threshold, was an annual occurrence.
'other, always without Boger, would come along and look at
my exercise books of work com&leted that year. Some &u&ils
had their artistic achievements dis&layed also. Sadly, mine
were not in evidence as I mostly en$oyed creating cartoon
characters and, of course, this was not a&&ro&riate. I wonder if
:erald Scarfe was set such narrow &arameters in his school art
classes@
S&orts +ay was a great event for me. ?ere I could be seen
to be doing something worthwhile, very often winning
whatever the race was and so feeling good about myself. Iulie
was a strong contender too. 0illian not so much soD being more
of a thinker".
Tennis coaching was &art of the summer curriculum as
were swimming lessons at the local baths. In winter, I wielded
a mean hockey stick, in every sense of the word.
?ere, however I must give a mention to one of my teachers
to whom I owe a great deal, although I could not see that then.
She must have found me a difficult &u&il, along with the rest of
the trio, but had infinite &atience and im&arted so much
knowledge and wisdom, for which I shall forever be grateful.
'iss Wills was a tiny, white>haired s&inster who had dedicated
her life to teaching. ?aving had no family of her own, we were
all her children" and she loved us, good or bad.
She was res&onsible for our instruction on religious
knowledge. She could make the Bible stories, Ald and !ew
Testaments, fascinating and enchanting. As a result I was able
to sit and &ass my :%9 A" level Scri&ture examination at the
age of fourteen.
'iss Wills also taught us 9nglish in the broadest sense of
the sub$ect. 'any hours were s&ent on grammar, tenses,
&arsing, sentence construction, &unctuation, s&elling and
com&osition. As well as the nuts and bolts, she also coached us
in Shakes&eare, Ceats, Shelley and many other classic &oets
and authors. Ance again, this &re&ared me for sitting and
&assing the a&&ro&riate :%9 examinations aged fifteen.
Another teacher of note was 'iss ,almer, a thin lady
always dressed in brown and with hair in a bun. She was an
avid (ranco&hile and therefore felt that we should know not
only all the (rench nursery rhymes and folk songs, but also the
'arseillaise. She would unfold the wooden doors on the front
of the &iano in the school hall and hammer the keys until we
thought they would fly off. ?er singing lessons were much
en$oyed by all the class.
0ater on at school, two younger teachers $oined. Ane who
was $ust out of university was to teach (rench and ?istory. We
gave her a hard time, seeing a chink in her young armour.
!aturally, I was marked out as the ringleader and s&ent some
time outside the classroom door, sometimes un$ustifiably.
The other was a :erman lady who was very attractive and
always wore bright orange li&stick. :erman became one of the
sub$ects in which I excelled. But more of 'rs :riffiths later.
Although school life was looking u&, home life was not so
edifying.