ATTENTION SEEKER

4/12/13
THERES A GRIEF COUNSELING SESSION HAPPENING.
MOTHER
And I cant get his last words out of
my mind: God is dog spelled
backwards. It hurts to say it out
loud.
COUNSELOR
Its okay. Were here for you.
Sandra, would you like to go next?
Everyone, lets welcome Sandra with a
big sigh.
EVERYONE IN THE GROUP LOUDLY EXHALES.
SANDRA
Hi everyone, Im Sandra. But I guess
that parts been covered. Hmm, how do
I say this? Im here because Im
alone in the world and I have nothing
to live for.
COUNSELOR
Those are big statements. Whats
behind those big statements, Sandra?
SANDRA
An asshole. My asshole of a boyfriend
who left me for dead in Walmart.
COUNSELOR
Hmm, okay, lets take a moment to
process this. Your boyfriend left you
at a Walmart?
SANDRA
Yeah, all I was doin was looking at
magazines, but I guess I wasnt fast
enough for him, so he left me.
COUNSELOR
Hmm. Perhaps we can go to Cindy next.
SANDRA
I also lost a child...
THE COUNSELOR IS INTERESTED. EVERYONE ELSE IN THE GROUP
LEANS IN TO LISTEN.
COUNSELOR
Im so sorry. Would you like to share
a little more about that?
SANDRA
I dont know...
COUNSELOR
I respect that. Well let you share
more when youre ready. Now, Cindy -
SANDRA
He was only a little baby.
SYMPATHETIC NOISES FROM ALL AROUND.
SANDRA (CONTD)
He died of polio.
"Epidode Title" 2.
COUNSELOR
Oh my god.
SANDRA
I can still see his face so clearly.
And his little leg braces, clanging
together.
COUNSELOR
How long ago did this happen, Sandra?
SANDRA
About a hundred years, maybe.
COUNSELOR
Im sorry?
SANDRA
It was in a past life.
THE COUNSELOR TURNS AWAY.
COUNSELOR
So, to Cindy...
SANDRA
In another past life, I was Joan of
Arc.
COUNSELOR
Well, you shouldve started with that
one. Cindy, sweetie, how has this
week been for you? I know its the
first time youve seen your family
since your husbands death.
"Epidode Title" 3.
CINDY
Well, right away my brother says to me
Ive put on weight. Not an Im
sorry, not a Are you all caught up
on Breaking Bad?, but a Man, sis,
youve gained a few el bees.
SANDRA
Ive actually put on weight recently,
as well. You guys dont know, because
weve never met before, but I used to
be really, really thin. Before I said
hello to the Freshman 15. Thanks a
lot keg parties and donuts at 3am.
COUNSELOR
Im going to have to ask you to leave
the session if you cant respect
everyone elses time to speak.
SANDRA
Do you guys want to see me do the
splits?
WE SEE HER TRYING AND FAILING TO DO THE SPLITS.
"Epidode Title" 4.