Dating Myths Exposed!

Matthew Hussey
I would give away some of Matthews secrets, but thanks
to him, Im far too busy making rock stars fall in love
with me now, and quite frankly, I could do without the
competition.
Alison Tay, NOW Magazine
Who is Matthew Hussey?

Matthew Hussey is the CEO and founder of GetTheGuy.co.uk,

a company formed in 2008 following Matthews successful
performance coaching business matthewhussey.com.
Matthew has appeared on GMTVs Lorraine Kelly show, CNN
International, channel 4, and NBCs The Today Show for
America.
Since GetTheGuys launch, Matthew has passed on his
strategies to packed out London conference rooms of women
through his Secrets of Attraction seminar.
He also regularly holds his renowned Womens Weekends
where women are taught the entire GetTheGuy method by
a team of expert coaches. He has coached women from
all backgrounds including media professionals, business
women, psychiatrists, and royalty. Matthew is also retained
by a handful of high prole women to coach them privately
throughout the year.
Matthew is a weekly columnist for NOW magazine, working
in the role of resident dating expert, responding to women
readers problems and troubleshooting in dating and
relationships.
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To enquire about booking Matthew for a speech or training
email info@gettheguy.co.uk,
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My Quest for the Holy Grail of dating!
It all began with a shocking discovery
about men...
It all started only two years ago I was running seminars every
weekend for men, teaching them how to have total choice
when it came to women and their love lives.
What sort of men go on these things? But what are their
issues? What are they ultimately after?
These were the questions my female friends were asking me
ten times a day!
The answer to the rst question was easy. I was getting every
type of guy you can imagine. I would see guys who look like
the nerdy guy you might imagine, all the way through to guys
who could rival models in terms of their looks. From shy guys
to self asssured, I coached them all.
But what did they want? That seemed more elusive. The
women I knew all had their own ideas about what they wanted:
Oh they just want to sleep around! many of them would say.
Theyre just looking for a one night stand.
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Then it struck me....
I had a golden opportunity, to see what men really want.
All these men had one thing in common: they werent happy
with their love lives. So what would a good love life look like
for them?
The women around me had been eagerly waiting for an
answer...
So one weekend I decided to try an experiment:
I had a room of 300 guys waiting for me to spend the next
3 hours telling them how to get the results they wanted. SO
before I began, I asked them a simple question:
How many of you are here just because you want to get laid
more?
Half the hands in the room went up. Interesting....
Even I at that time was amazed that more hands didnt go up.
The key was in the word just. It suggested they didnt want
anything more than that, and made half of the men keep their
hands down.
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I realised however that to judge the guys who put their hands
up would be a touch harsh, especially given that the question
was loaded! I mean, what guy do you know that would have
a problem with having more sex!
SO I decided to ask something that would be a little more
revealing...
How many of you are here because you want to nd that
special woman you know is out there somewhere, the one
woman who is completely right for you?
Then something unbelievable happened...
A SEA OF HANDS SHOT UP IN FRONT OF ME!
But hold on...
Only one special woman? Not fty? These were men were
dealing with remember. Surely all men really want is to get
laid like rockstars, have threesomes and have sex with as
many diferent women as possible, right?
Wrong.
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A little more interrogation, and most of the room confessed
that they were only interested in learning these skills so that
they could attract the one, should they ever come across her.
So what happened to this idea that men were the more
promiscuous sex?
Something was happening...
I suddenly remembered what every woman had ever told
me about guys. All the things they believed about what guys
were really like...
...and yet, in this room full of guys, without a girl in site to
act like gentlemen in front of, they said the opposite of what
almost every woman ive ever met has come to believe.
This seemed to contradict everything
women have been told before!...
What had we been told about men before? Well, to name a
few of the lines Ive heard from women over the years:
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Guys dont want commitment, they just want to sleep
around
- "Once you g|ve o guy sex, he wont be |ntetested onymote"
- "Guys ote on|y otttocted to s|utty/b|tchy g|t|s"
- "7he on|y woy to get o guy |n o comm|tted te|ot|onsh|p |s to
play games
And before I started teaching this stuf I might have believed
them! But its all complete nonsense!
Somewhere along the way, women had gotten completely
out of touch with the truth about men.
So what was the truth about men? How could women now
use this knowledge to have the love life they have always
wanted?
This report outlines my journey to answer these questions,
and the unbelievable discoveries about men I made along
the way.
I hope you have as many epiphanies reading it as I did writing it!
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The problem with modern dating advice
I dont know about you, but im sick of the run-of-the-mill
advice dating books provide? All that ufy positive thinking
and motivational clichs.
If I hear Just be yourself one more time ill go nuts! Not that
that is such terrible advice, but it seems to miss the point...
Youll never be anyone but yourself! No matter how hard you
try, that is all you will ever be. The real issue is, there are
two versions of you Your low-value self and your high-value
self in other worst the crummy version of you and the best
version of you.
Rather than walking around trying absurdly to focus on being
yourself, wouldnt you rather learn exactly how to be your
best self?
The playful, energetic, passionate you that is buried deep
down? Ill show you how.
I know also that every book is written by someone claiming
to know what men really want, and then hearing the same old
thing said again: Men just want a condent sexy woman...
Not that this isnt true, but it doesnt really help you an awful
lot without knowing whats really behind all this. You need to
know what makes a woman appear condent to a man, what
makes her appear sexy, and everything in between! If there
are two condent sexy women in a room, what makes a man
go for one over the other? Noone ever tells you that! And
how can you become condent and sexy if you dont feel you
are now? We all know saying just be condent and sexy to
someone doesnt make it any easier for them to do so!
Bottom line: What I am going to give you is advice you
can actually use!
I dont care how much you think youve seen it all or read it
all, this is the material no-one else is telling you about!
Over the past year Ive been written about in every major
womans magazine from Cosmo, to Glamour, to Elle, and
continue to be a weekly column writer for NOW magazine.
TV, Blogs, Internet, podcasts: Ive now been asked to
comment on just about every womens love life issue there
is. As GetTheGuy has gotten bigger ive had media from all
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over the world ask for my opinion, not to mention women
travelling from every corner to get coaching!
The truth is, before the world of women and dating was on my
radar, I had no idea how many people there were out there
writing advice for women. It surprised me that I was getting so
much attention there seemed to be so many other people
they could go to. Then I realised something about most of the
experts out there...
Theyre everywhere, they have plenty to say, but little of it is
of any real value. IN fact, much of what I have read is plain
nonsense! Everywhere you look is the next article about how
to date, or how to dress, or how to act around men, and all its
doing is keeping women single!
Let me tell you why!
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The 6 reasons why the advice you have now
isnt working!...
Let me tell you why in spite of your best eforts, the advice
out there has never landed you your dream love life.
Modern dating advice sufers from some fundamental aws:
Problem No. 1 - Its all conicting!
One piece of advice says you cant make the rst move on a
guy, the other one says you can.
One article says dont pressure a man into commitment, the
next magazine says be assertive and stand your ground.
An Internet video says you should call him, the other says
you should wait for him to call you!
One source says if hes just not that into you, the other says
hes just shy.
How the hell can you be expected to make sense of anything
when you have all of these diferent voices screaming at you
at once?
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Problem No. 2 It comes from people you shouldnt listen to!
Think of how many people you listen to who ofer advice on
your love life.
Journalists, magazines, TV shows, the people around you
Nearly all of them have one thing in commonthey havent
got a clue what they are talking about!
How many of them have a track record of hooking women
up with amazing men and getting them the love life theyve
always dreamed of? How many of them have spent time
around thousands of men, hearing their innermost secrets
about dating, studying their patterns, breaking down their
behaviours? How many of them are getting wedding invites
from people they helped?
I have a fundamental philosophy when learning anything:
Dont take advice from someone who isnt already
getting the results!
You wouldnt take investment advice from someone who was
bankrupt! So its time to stop taking advice from people who
cant even handle their own love lives.
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Even so-called dating coaches Ive met who claim to have all
the answers are clueless when it comes down to it, because
most of them are single and lonely! Here at GetTheGuy we
recently had a TV meeting with CNN, who said what a relief
it was talking to us since most of the dating coaches theyd
ever met were complete frauds!
Problem No. 3 99% of it is women teaching women!
Most advice columns for women are written by women.
Now this isnt to say women are unable to give advice in this
area, but we nd that it takes a man to truly understand men,
in the same way that it takes a woman to truly understand
women.
I remember when I used to run weekend courses for men
in this same area. There were certain things that I could tell
the guys about how to be a more attractive man, but when
it came to truly getting inside the female mind, I wasnt the
person for the job.
At that point I would bring in expert women to talk to the
guys, for one simple reason they understood WOMEN.
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So I am NOT a woman, but maybe thats
the benet!
I cant rightly claim to understand fully what women think.
After all, Ive never had a female brain. Our genders are hard-
wired completely diferently. So should you be learning these
skills from a fellow female?
Let me propose a diferent question: Do women truly know
what men want? Having read so many glossy magazine
articles written by women attempting to give solid advice on
men, how much closer do you feel to understanding men?
Did you receive practical advice that actually worked?
My guess is that the answer to these questions is NO.
If you truly want to learn about how men really think and what
they really want, arent you far better of taking advice from
someone who truly understands the male mind inside out?
Well luckily for you, years of working closely in this eld with
men has given us just that!
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Problem No. 4 - Its out of date
Frankly, women have moved on. They are not the same
people they were 20 years ago. Theyre not even the same
as they were 10 years ago.
We are living in a time where the rules are changing, and its
no longer enough to follow outdated models of dating put
forward by books that were big in their time.
Whats more, men have changed.
Thats not to say that men and womens fundamental needs
have changed, but the way we meet those needs is no longer
the same. If you want to have the love life of your dreams
today, you have to adjust to the way things are today, not
following the rules of yesterday.
Problem No 5. - The advice doesnt t with who you are
So much of the advice out there is over-generalised, cheesy,
and dare I say it, American! Have you ever read a dating tip
and thought: That just isnt me!
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If so then you know what I mean. You need advice that you
can directly apply to your life, without having to change who
you really are in the process and putting on a personality that
just feels fake.
What you do need to learn is how to use who you are NOW
to get amazing results. Trying to use advice that doesnt suit
you is like putting on an outt that doesnt t it just looks
wrong!
Problem no 6. - It comes from friends and family
It might feel convenient, but taking advice from your best
friend whos either single, or in a relationship burdened by
ghts and frustration isnt necessarily your best port of call.
Also, friends and family like to wrap you up in cotton wool and
make sure that anything they feed you is as sugar coated as
can be!
The result? You rarely, if ever get the honest, brutal truths you
need to hear (And they are exactly the thing you need to get
where you want to be...).
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So now when that guy doesnt call you back, instead of
being able to tell you the real reason, they give you useless
comforting phrases like:
He doesnt deserve you anyway!
OrHe was just intimidated by you.
Comforting maybe, but useful advice for next time....dentely
not!
SO why cant women have a frank conversation
with men?
Why not go directly to the source?
How great would it be if you could get an honest answer to
questions like
1. Why did we break up?
2. Why didnt you call back after the rst date?
3. Why didnt you call after the rst time we slept together?
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The last thing men want to do in these situations is give you
an honest answer.
So women often have to settle for these lame excuses:
I was just really busy
Im just not in the right place for a relationship right now
Ive got a lot on at the moment
Its just not the right time for me
Youre amazing but I just feel I need...
I really like you but...
...or any combination of the above.
Men unfortunately it seems, will not be of too much help for
you.
Thats where we come in!
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Mythbusting workshop: The 7 mistakes
women make with men..and how to
ensure you avoid them!
Do you want to know the truth about men?
I mean really know the truth.
Not half truths...
Not sugar coated truths....
Not what your friends say to make you feel better...
Or what the guy says to avoid a difcult conversation...
IM TALKING ABOUT THE REAL THING!
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If so then theres something you need to understand.
There are a set of myths that are keeping you single.
Once you understand the truth, your love live will change
radically.
What I am about to tell you are things that I have learned
from having now helped over 1500 women across the
world.
Once you drop these myths and nd out the truth about
men and dating, you too will be about to join the ranks of
thousands of women who now know the truth.
Welcome.
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MYTH No 1.
Once you give a guy sex, he wont be interested
anymore
WRONG!
Sex does not equal seduction!
The trick that few women know is this: You seduce a guy long before
you sleep with him, and keep seducing him long after youve already
slept with him.
There are two big things you need to know to keep a guy interest
after sex.
- Timing - Most women think that its the amount of time that
passes before sex that matters. This is not true! It doesnt matter
if you sleep with a guy after one week, one month, or three
months.
When people who know are telling you not to sleep with a guy
for the rst x weeks or months, what they dont understand is
that this is just a way to create high value.
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In other words, by making a guy wait, you appear to be a
more high value woman, and therefore someone he will
stay with. What they DONT realise is that you can create
this high value efect in a matter of minutes, not weeks or
months! By being high value early on you wont need to
worry about when to sleep with him, it will be up to you.
Hell even want to wait for you because he nds you so
special!
- knowing how to act after sex: Too many women
completely change the moment theyve slept with a guy.
Instead of continuing to be the sexy playful woman he
was speaking to the day before (the woman that turned
him on), she suddenly stops being a challenge altogether.
The result is that his attraction switches turn of in an
instant, which is why so many women have experienced
a guy disappearing after sex.
The way to keep a guy around is to be even more of
a challenge after that rst night than you were before
you had sex. Itll drive a man crazy. But its important to
understand that at this point you can challenge him in
so many other ways than just through sex. Once you do,
youll realise that your biggest power is not in sex, but in
all the new ways you challenge him after sex.
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MYTH NO.2
There arent any good men/all the good
ones are taken!
WRONG!
Time again weve proved women wrong on this one.
They are everywhere. How do I know? I used to stand up in
front of audiences of 300 men who all wanted to nd love.
Many of them were amazing men with so much to ofer, and
they were single! The good men are there, you just have to
know how to nd them.
A woman who knows where to go to nd quality men will
never be in short supply. I know women who no matter what
happens will always nd a new guy. Dont you have a certain
friend who always seems to be able to nd men, and you
cant understand how she does it?
Its easy when you know how. The trick is to create a lifestyle
that means youre not even going out to nd men anymore,
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you just draw them into your life. Women who do this have
phonebooks so packed with so many eligible males youll
literally have to choose between them all!
MYTH NO 3.
Guys are only attracted to slutty/bitchy
girls
WRONG!
Slutty girls cant keep a guy and bitches end up pissing them
of!
Women who dont understand this are always left thinking
that they have to stop being so nice in order to really attract
men. But thats not it! The key is to simultaneously be the
most and exciting and the classiest woman in the room.
This is the secret to having guys ghting for your time without
having to change a thing about who you really are! A woman
who conveys class, but at the same time creates excitement
and intrigue is powerful, because shes the type of woman
that men want to stay with.
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Any woman can act a certain way to get a guy to sleep with
her. Thats easy. Whats not so obvious is how to be the woman
he goes home thinking about for the rest of the week!
MYTH NO 4
The only men that will ever come up to me
are sleazy players
WRONG!
Most women just dont know how to attract the right type of
guys.
The body language that most women have is exactly the type
of body language that attracts the wrong type of guys!
Even when women think they are using closed body
language, what they dont realize is that sleazy guys see this
as a challenge, and it can actually attract more of them! There
are key things that women dont know about how to send
out signals which only decent guys react too. The best part is
that these signals are ridiculously easy to learn!
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For example, by asking a guy a simple non-threatening
question you can open yourself up to talking to any guy in
any room.
The key is to understand the diferences between decent
guys and players. By using character testing questions early
on in a conversation you can literally tell what type of guy he
is in a matter of minutes.
These questions are designed to reveal certain behavioural
patterns in a guy which tell you clearly exactly the type of guy
he is. Youll be able to see the warning signals in his voice, his
body language and his answers.
How cool is that? Youll never have to waste precious moments
of your life with the wrong guys again!
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MYTH NO 5.
I dont have time to nd the right man
WRONG!
Busy women can be the most attractive to a man. Finding a
man isnt about scheduling a specic time in your diary to go
and meet guys.
As I said before its about creating a lifestyle: a lifestyle that
makes you the ame, not the moth.
Once youve got that lifestyle, theres something else you
need to learn efortless conversation.
Efortless conversation is the type of conversation that allows
you to speak with anyone, anywhere anytime. It even allows
you to remain relaxed when faced with someone youre head
over heals for!
Most women go to pieces when they think about talking to a
guy they actually like, which is kind of a problem!
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With the right techniques you can make efortless conversation
wherever you are in your day, be it the gym, in a bookstore, in
your ofce, out with friends...the list goes on.
So heres the secret to efortless conversation:
(a) Make your daily routine one that brings you into
contact with guys you want on a regular basis
(b) When you see those guys, approach them in a
completely of-hand, casual way which gets you straight
into a conversation fast without wasting any time on
awkwardness.
Women who can do this literally have interesting conversations
with everyone they come into contact with, no matter how
handsome or intimidating they may seem!
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MYTH NO 6
Guys just want the typical stunner, they
dont give me a second look
WRONG!
Have you ever known someone who didnt look like the
typical cover model stereotype, but seemed to attract men in
their droves anyway? Have you ever seen a woman without
looks on her side walking along with the model guy?
What is she doing diferently?
What women so often fail to realise is that these women have
an ability when talking to men that drives men crazy, and it
has nothing to do with their looks.
Its known as Sexual Vibing. It combines two of the things
that are absolutely necessary to get a guy attracted to you
Sexual tension, and
Banter
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What most women havent noticed is that you can do both of
these at the same time, and its more powerful than either on
its own.
If all you do is create sexual tension, youre in danger of being
seen as JUST someone hed want to sleep with. If all you do
is banter with him youre in danger of becoming JUST a friend
who he can hang around and have fun with.
Sexual Vibing makes you the sexiest girl in the room to him,
and it has nothing to do with your looks. The best part is, its
so simple and anyone can do it!
MYTH NO 7
Guys are too intimidated by me. They dont
want a high-powered career woman
WRONG!
Too many women assume that men are only attracted to
women who are either less intelligent than them, worse paid,
and less high powered!
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What women assume is that if they are higher paid, more
powerful and more intelligent then they will emasculate him
and he wont be able to feel like a man around them anymore,
so hell leave.
Unfortunately they would be missing something crucial
a man doesnt feel emasculated by what you do, or how
intelligent you are. You control how a man feels by the way
you treat HIM.
All he cares about is that he feels like a man around you.
There are two predominant ways to make him feel like a man:
- Verbally
What you say to a man will play in his head like a recording
over and over again if it hits him on an emotional level.
There are two things that will stick with him more than anything
else:
- Comments you say that make him feel emasculated, and
- Comments you make that make him feel like an alpha
male
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Once you start adapting you vocabulary to make him feel the
latter, he wont care what you do in your life, because hell
feel validated.
- Physically
Men are physical creatures. How you physically interact with
them will make or break your relationships.
One of the easiest ways to get a man attracted to you to is to
physically engage with him in ways that make him feel strong
and manly.
It appeals to his hardwiring, which tells him he needs to take
control of the situation. This is not to say that you cant be a
strong woman, in fact its the opposite. Its just that through
your body language and the way you touch him you need to
be able to communicate that you see him as a sexy strong
male.
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The LIE of Hard-To-Get
Heres a lie that I didnt even include in the 7. Why?
This lie is so misaleading, so destructive, so ridiculous that it
deserves its own section! Its the old philosophy touted by
almost every dating book out there:
The only way to get a guy in a committed
relationship is to play games
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
Hard-to-get and game-playing are old news!
THE TRUTH ABOUT HARD TO GET!
If you try playing these games you will always end up worse
of. Have you ever tried playing hard to get with someone,
it seemed to work for a while as he chased you, but then as
soon as you dropped your guard and showed your interest,
he lost interest too?
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Think of it like dangling a piece of string in front of a cat.
As long as your making the string move the cat keeps jumping
at it, but as soon as you drop the string the cat doesnt care
any more.
Thats the exact efect these games create. So women have
the illusion that they are working when the guy is chasing
after them but as soon as they stop and allow him to get them
its over!
So what is the key to getting him to want to
commit?
The key to getting a guy committed has nothing to do with
game playing or tricking a guy.
Its about changing his associations so that he actually
WANTS commitment just as much as you do.
Think about a guy who is scared of commitment. His
associations with being single are that it means his life is free,
spontaneous, exciting, and he has variety. His associations
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with being in a relationship long term are: shackled, scared, bored,
rigid, controlled.
So your job is to smash these associations down and build new
ones! Where he associates immeasurable amounts of pleasure to
getting closer to you. To a point where he doesnt even want the
single life anymore!
How to do that? Lets start with 3 principles right of the bat:
1. Hold something back until your in a relationship - You always
need the guy to realize that every time he commits to you a little
bit more, things get more fun, more exciting, more romantic, and
more sexy.
What you ideally want is for him to associate massive amounts
of pleasure to getting closer with you, that the single life can
never be a rewarding or as much fun than experiencing new
things with you can be.
A guy needs to feel like hes missing out by not committing to
you.
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2. Put value on your time - You need to keep time for
yourself and make it clear that no matter where he stands,
you have hobbies, friends and aspirations in your own life
that take precedence over him.
See, another male fear when it comes to relationships is
the fear that if he commits fully, he will lose all of the time
devoted to himself and all the fun that comes along with
that.
Youre job is to show him that you have as many irons in
the re as he does, because self-sufciency is sexy!
3. Dont try and sell a relationship - There is no point
trying to logically convince a man with all the reasons why
he should want to be in a relationship with you.
If he senses that you desperately want a relationship, hes
going to be worried that if he decides its not for him after
a couple of weeks, youre going to be heartbroken and
difcult to get rid of.
What you need to do is let him see the value of the product
for itself. Each date you give a little more of yourself (not
sexually!), but you give him more of your personality, more
excitement.
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Show him that he has so much more pleasure to gain by
committing to you than he ever could have on his own
living the single life.
Bottom line: All of these excuses about men having issues
with commitment are complete crap! They are myths that
hold you back from a love life that is more amazing than you
ever dreamt was possible.
Ive destroyed these myths for women everyday for the past
2 years, and theyve tried in vain to give me every excuse in
existence. Whether its not being able to nd where quality
men hang out, to not feeling like you really attract men, to
having trouble getting commitment, I have the answers. If
youve resigned yourself to never being seen as that special
girl, or holding your best friends coat while you watch her
seamlessly attract men, its time to break out and claim the
life you deserve!
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I think it is very much a big thank you to you. I think youve
created a monster ;-) I spent Friday and Saturday nights
almost literally ghting of the hottest guys in the place...No
more attraction skills for Claire methinks!
Claire. M, Business Consultant West London
If you truly go and apply this stuf, and seek to understand
not only the psychology behind it, but how you can apply
it, what results can you expect?
CHOICE!
My aim is simple...To give women choice in their love lives...
I am not going to patronise you and say that by using this stuf
you will meet the man of your dreams tomorrow, or even next
week. What I know is that if you keep following this advice,
and you really learn how to use it, that will happen anyway.
Its just a by-product of following advice that actually works.
So thats not my primary concern.
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My immediate aim is far more simple. Its about choice.
Its about creating options in your love life. When we dont
have options, we settle. Think about a time in your life where
you settled for less than you were worth with a guy. When
you look back now how did that relationship make you feel?
How much time did you waste on that guy? If you want to
avoid settling, and take back control and have choice with
amazing men, you have a simple choice to make:
Wait or Create.
At any given moment you are either waiting for the love life of
your dreams or creating it. Once you learn the strategies for
creating it, once and for all, you can avoid being one of the
masses of women who hit a certain age and panic because it
never happened to them.
This isnt some positive thinking course, or cheesy aphorisms
telling you to just be yourself and stay positive. Im talking
hard-hitting, concrete strategies on action you can take today,
RIGHT NOW to have a love life that excites you! A love life
that is a constant adventure.
As a man who has coached thousands of men in dating, I
have a unique opportunity to equip you with the best possible
toolkit in your relationships with men.
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Ive taught these techniques to packed out seminar rooms
full of women of all shapes and sizes, from all professions
and backgrounds and every excuse you can imagine for why
their love life is diferent. Im here to say that theres no excuse
good enough for me to let you of the hook, and I will show
you how, regardless of your situation, it can happen for you.
Thousands of women have already been through this process
and used it to transform their love lives...NOW ITS YOUR
TURN!

After your seminar on Saturday I went out with my friends

and met a really nice man!! Matthews advice to us about
approaching men kept ringing in my head all evening and I
left with a number and a date! Im so glad that I can nally
approach men!
Amanda. G, Stafordshire NHS Support Worker
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