Copyright (C) 2012 by David Wyllie.

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The Absolute at Large
Karel apek
ranslated by David Wyllie
Preface
! wanted to write this preface to go with the first edition of The Absolute at Large,
b"t ! didn#t$ partly$ ! s"ppose$ beca"se of a fit of la%iness that !#ve forgotten all abo"t now$
and partly beca"se of a sense of fatalism. &y that$ ! mean writing a preface doesn#t
correct anything. When the boo' first went o"t there were several well(deserved
criticisms p"blished abo"t it) they said it didn#t compare with &al%ac#s Quest of the
Absolute$ that a fry("p in a p"b was an "ndignified end to it$ and$ most of all$ that it
wasn#t really a proper novel. his last criticism hit the nail on the head. ! confess$ it is
not really a proper novel. *ow$ as a form of apology$ !#d li'e to e+plain the
circ"mstances "nder which the boo' was written and why it#s not a proper novel.
,ne -pring day$ at fo"r in the afternoon$ ! finished writing RUR. with relief ! p"t
down my pen and went o"t for a wal'. /t first ! felt a pleasant sense of release at having
got a chore over with. b"t this sense then developed into one of emptiness and ! grad"ally
became aware that ! was "nbearably bored. ! told myself that the day had been spoiled$
so it wo"ld be best if ! went home and wrote an article for the paper. When someone
ma'es a decision li'e that it "s"ally means he has no idea of what he#s act"ally going to
write abo"t. that he will wal' "p and down the room for a while$ he will whistle a t"ne to
himself which he can#t get o"t of his head$ he will swat a fly or two. and then something
will come into his head and he will start writing. What came into my head was an idea !
had had long before$ so ! c"t myself some paper and started writing the article.
&y the time ! had started on the third page ! noticed ! had written too m"ch for an
article of this sort$ that ! co"ld ma'e si+ articles o"t of all this$ and so the whole thing
became bogged down.
/fter two months in the co"ntryside ! was overcome by loneliness and the
constant rain. there was no getting away from it. so ! got some paper and sat down to
write these si+ articles. he rain was incessant$ and ! clearly m"st have li'ed my s"b0ect$
as ! had soon written twelve chapters and divided the material into another si+
prospective articles. hen ! sent these twelve chapters to the newspaper so that they
co"ld p"blish them$ one at a time each 1onday$ swearing that ! wo"ld write the final
chapters in the meantime.
&"t$ yo" can never tell what is going to happen. eleven chapters had already been
p"blished and ! still had not written another line. ! had forgotten it was d"e to be
p"blished and$ worst of all$ ! had forgotten what happened ne+t. he printers chivvied
me to send them the final parts. so$ li'e the girl in the fairy story$ ! 2"ic'ly let them have
another chapter so that they wo"ld leave me in peace for a few days. !n the effort to
escape their persec"tion ! tossed off one chapter after another. ! tried to get ahead of them
b"t they stayed right on my heels. ! 0"mped abo"t li'e a hare being chased. ! threw
myself in all directions 0"st in order to gain more time and get the chance to p"t right the
errors ! had commited while being chased. 3o" can 0"dge for yo"rselves whether !
gained eno"gh time. !t too' another eighteen chapters before ! co"ld hoist the white flag
and declare the wor' finished. -o why is it that the chapters of this boo' don#t form a
connected whole4 Well$ is it not an e+citing and epic story when the a"thor$ persec"ted
by the 5rinyes$ flees into the solit"de of the mo"ntains or the 2"iet of the editorial room$
onto -aint 6ilda$ to a 7acific atoll$ to the city of 8radec 6r9lov: or the village of -even
Chalets$ and finally finds himself sitting with a beer in ; Damohors'<ch$ where$ his arms
crossed and throwing his closing arg"ments in his persec"tors# faces$ he event"ally
s"rrenders4 =ollow with baited breath how the a"thor$ despite the r"thlessness of his
persec"tors$ presses on to the end and remains firm in his belief that he can reach his
ob0ective and p"rs"e his ideas. he may have lost his breath in chapter >>>$ b"t he did
not lose the remar'able faith that drove him thro"gh tort"o"s paths and 'ept a single idea
alive in his breast. !f there is a story in this novel ( which really is not a novel b"t a series
of articles yo" might read in a -"nday paper ( then this is it$ whatever description yo"
might want to attach to it yo"rselves.
,ctober 1?2@ 6arel Aape'
(BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB(
Chapter I
A Classified Ad.
,n *ew 3ear#s Day$ 1?CD$ 1ister E.8. &ondy$ the president of 15/-
man"fact"ring ind"stries$ read the newspaper 0"st as he did any other day. he ignored
reports abo"t the war$ avoided the crisis in the government and$ with all sails "nf"rled (as
Fhe 7eople#s *ewsF had long since increased its page si%e to five times what it had been$
so that one sheet of it co"ld have been "sed as the sail on a ship)$ went straight to the
b"siness section. 8e cr"ised along the col"mns for a good while$ then he f"rled his sails
and drifted into reverie.
FCoal crisis$F he m"ttered to himself$ Fpits e+ha"sted. north 1oravian coalfields
stop operation for s"mmer. Disaster everywhere. We#ll have to import coal from ;pper
-ilesia. now$ try and wor' o"t how m"ch that#ll raise the costs of o"r prod"cts$ and they
tal' to me abo"t competitionG We#re facing disaster. and if the Eermans raise their tariffs
we might as well 0"st sh"t "p shop. /nd ban' shares have gone down. ,h Eod$ these are
to"gh circ"mstancesG -traitened circ"mstances$ st"pid circ"mstances$ circ"mstances
when it#s impossible to prod"ce anythingG Damn this crisisGF
1ister E.8. &ondy$ president of the board of directors$ stopped himself. here
was something annoying him$ and he co"ld not p"t it off any longer. 8e wondered what
it co"ld be and loo'ed down at the newspaper he had discarded. ,n the last page he saw
three letters that spelt o"t !,*. !t m"st have been 0"st half a word$ as the paper had been
folded over 0"st in front of these three letters$ b"t he realised that it was these three letters
that had been bothering him so oddly. F1y Eod$ that m"st be something to do with
inflation$F &ondy s"rmised$ For creation. ,r perhaps refrigeration. -hares in the nitrogen
ind"stry m"st have fallen. 1ore recession$ that#s awf"l. 7etty$ ridic"lo"s straitened
times. &"t that#s nonsense$ who#d p"t an advert in the paper abo"t refrigeration 4 1ore
li'ely it#s something that#s been lost. !t#ll say something#s been lost$ yes$ that#ll be it.F
-till in his bad mood$ 1ister E.8. &ondy opened his paper once again so that he
co"ld dispell the annoyance ca"sed by this "npleasant word$ and the word was
immediately lost in the chessboard of classified advertisements. 8e loo'ed h"rriedly
down one col"mn after another. the word was deliberately hiding from him and that made
him all the more cross. *ow 1ister &ondy started again from the bottom$ and finally he
was loo'ing in the right place. his ve+atio"s !,* was in there somewhere.
E.8. &ondy did not give "p. 8e folded the paper once more and there was the
hatef"l word$ clear to see on the edge of the page. he p"t his finger on the place$ h"rriedly
re(opened the paper and fo"nd ... 1ister &ondy c"rsed "nder his breath. !t was nothing
more than a very short$ very m"ndane anno"ncement)
!*H5*!,*$
very l"crative$
s"itable for any
prod"ction
process$ 2"ic'
sale for personal
reasons.
5n2"iries$ I.
1ar'a$ &Jevnov
1@K1.
F/ll that effort 0"st for thisGF 1ister E.8. &ondy said to himself. F-ome 'ind of
patenting 0o'e. some 'ind of confidence tric' or st"pid game. and ! wasted five min"tes
loo'ing for itG 1ore fool me. &ad times. /nd no sign anywhere of coming o"t of
themGF
7resident &ondy went to sit in his roc'ing chair so that he co"ld appreciate these
bad times in a little more comfort. r"e$ 15/- had ten factories and thirty(fo"r
tho"sand employee$ 15/- led the field in iron wor'ing$ none co"ld compete with
15/- in ma'ing boilers$ the 15/- brand was 'nown all ro"nd the world$ b"t after
twenty years of operation$ for Eod#s sa'e$ there sho"ld be somewhere with bigger ...
E.8$ &ondy s"ddenly sat "pright. FI. 1are'$ I. 1are'G 8old on$ co"ld that be
Eingerhead 1are'4 What was he called again4 I"dolf$ I"da 1are'. We st"died science
and technology together. !t isG !t#s him in this advert$ I. 1are'$ I"da yo" blighter$ is it
really possible4 7oor old I"da$ hit on hard times$ have yo"4 #Hery l"crative invention
for sale#$ ha$ #personal reasons#$ we all 'now what yo"r personal reasons will be. got no
money$ have yo"4 rying to l"re some ind"strialist into some crafty deal yo"#ve tho"ght
"p. b"t yo" were always obsessed with trying to change the world. I"da$ what happened
to all o"r high ideas4 /ll the idealism and del"sions of yo"th4F
7resident &ondy sat bac' down. F!t really co"ld be 1are'$F he considered. F&"t
1are' had s"ch a scientific talent. 8e tal'ed a bit too m"ch$ b"t there was a hint of
geni"s abo"t him. 8e had some great ideas. 8opelessly impractical in other ways
tho"gh. Complete n"tcase in fact. 8ow come he isn#t a professor by now somewhere4F$
1ister &ondy said to himself. F8aven#t seen him for more than twenty years$ Eod 'nows
what he#s been doing all this time. maybe he#s simply lost it. 3es$ that#ll be it$ he#s simply
lost all that promise that he had. lived o"t in the provinces somewhere$ poor lad .. and
now he#s trying to ma'e a living by selling inventionsG What a way to end "pGF
1ister &ondy tried to imagine what hard times the inventor co"ld have s"n' to.
he image came to his mind of a man with an ama%ing beard and "n'empt shoc' of hair.
living in dismal conditions$ walls as flimsy as a film set. *o f"rnit"re. mattress in the
corner$ some pitif"l model of something on the table made of spools and bobbins and
combs and spent matches$ a dirty window loo'ing o"t on a yard. /nd this ine+pressible
pen"ry was abo"t to receive a visit from someone in a f"r coat. F!#ll come and have a loo'
at this invention of yo"rs$ I"daF. his inventor$ half blind$ wo"ldn#t even recognise his
old college friend. he#ll sin' his "ncombed head$ loo' ro"nd to see where he can offer his
g"est a seat$ and then$ dear Eod$ with his poor$ fro%en$ trembling fingers he#ll try to start
"p his pitif"l invention$ some ridic"lo"s perpet"al motion machine$ he#ll m"tter
conf"sedly abo"t how it wor'ed last time he tried it$ he#s s"re it wor's$ if only$ if only he
co"ld b"y himself ... he visitor in his f"r coat wo"ld loo' distractedly aro"nd the garret.
then s"ddenly reach into his poc'et$ draw o"t his wallet and place a tho"sand 'or"n note
on the table$ then another one (Fhat#s eno"gh nowGF 1ister &ondy admonished himself)
and then a third one. (F,ne tho"sand o"ght to be eno"gh to be getting on with for the
time being$F something from within 1ister &ondy said to him.) F-omething ...
something to help yo" with yo"r wor'$ 1ister 1are'. no no$ yo" don#t owe me anything.
What#s that4 Who am !4 Don#t worry abo"t that 1ister 1are'$ 0"st thin' of me as a
friend.F
7resident &ondy was very satisfied and to"ched by this image. F!#ll send my
secretary o"t to 1are'$F he tho"ght$ F!#ll do it straight away$ or perhaps tomorrow. /nd
so what shall ! do now4 !t#s a ban' holiday$ no point in going to the factory. in fact my
diary#s empty ( ,h these are diffic"lt timesG *othing to do all day longG What if ... F
E.8. &ondy considered$ Fwhat if ... it wo"ld be a bit of an advent"re ... what if ! went to
see abo"t 1are'#s hard conditions personally4 We were good friends$ after allG
1emories li'e that have their benefits. ! will doGF 1ister &ondy decided. /nd off he
went.
-itting in his car$ cr"ising abo"t that provincial town loo'ing for n"mber 1@K1$
the poorest little ho"se in the city$ he became slighty bored$ and finally had to go and as'
at the police station. F1are'$ 1are'$F the policeman tried to remember$ Fthat m"st be
1ister 1are' at the factory$ 1are' and Co. Ltd.$ man"fact"rers of lighting e2"ipment.
1i+ova -treet$ 1@K1.F
/ factory for lighting e2"ipmentG 7resident &ondy was disappointed ( even
slightly cross. -o I"da mare' doesn#t live in a garretG 8e#s a man"fact"rer$ and for some
reasons of his own he#s selling some 'ind of inventionG -omething smells fishy here$ lad$
some 'ind of b"siness tric'$ or my name#s not #&ondy#. FDo yo" 'now$ perhaps$ whether
1ister 1are' is$ er$ well off4F he as'ed the policeman as he went bac' to his car$ trying
to seem cas"al.
F,h$ he#s certainly well offGF the policeman replied. FLovely big factory li'e that$
a famo"s brand(nameGF he policeman was clearly pro"d of his neighbo"r. F8e#s a rich
gentleman$ 1ister 1are'$F he contin"ed$ Fand everyone#s got a lot of respect for him.
-pends all his time doing e+periments.F
F1i+ova -treetGF 1ister &ondy told his cha"ffe"r.
Fhird street on the right$F the policeman called after them as the car drove off.
1ister &ondy soon fo"nd himself o"tside a small b"t s"bstantial factory$ where he
rang at the door of the residential wing. F!t#s clean here. flowers in the front garden$ vines
growing "p the walls. 8m$F 1ister &ondy tho"ght$ F1are' always did have a strong
h"manitarian and reformist side$ the blighter.F /nd there coming o"t on the steps to meet
him was 1are' himself$ I"da 1are'. he#s lost a lot of weight$ and he loo's very serio"s$
noble in some way. something deep inside of 1ister &ondy was "neasy that I"da was no
longer as yo"ng as he had been$ and nor was he ama%ingly shaggy li'e that inventor.
5verything abo"t him was 2"ite different from what 1ister &ondy had been e+pecting$
he co"ld hardly recognise him. &"t before he had time to become f"lly aware of his
disappointment 1are' was offering his hand and saying$ as if it were a matter of co"rse)
F-o yo"#ve finally got here$ &ondyG !#ve been e+pecting yo"GF
Chapter II
The Carburator
F&een e+pecting yo"GF 1are' repeated as he directed his g"est to a leather
armchair.
&y this time$ &ondy wo"ld not have admitted to his ill"sions abo"t a downtrodden
inventor for anything in the world. FWell there#s a coincidence$F he said with slightly
forced 0ollity. F! was 0"st thin'ing this morning that it m"st be twenty years since we saw
each otherG wenty years$ 0"st thin' of that$ I"daGF
F8m$F 1are' replied. FDo yo" want to b"y my invention then4F
F&"y it4F replied E.8. &ondy hesitantly. F!$ er$ don#t really 'now$ er$ haven#t
really tho"ght abo"t it. ! wanted to see yo" and ...F
F,h stop faffing abo"tGF 1are' interr"pted him. F! 'new yo"#d come. =or
something li'e this it was obvio"s yo"#d come. /n invention li'e this is 0"st the thing for
yo". 3o" can ma'e a lot of money o"t of it$F he said as he waved his hand$ cleared his
throat and began to spea' to the point) Fhe invention !#m abo"t to show yo" is the
biggest technological brea'thro"gh since Watt invented the steam engine. he theory$ to
p"t it simply$ is that it#s a way of f"lly and perfectly e+ploiting atomic energy ...F
&ondy stifled a yawn. Fell me I"da$ what have yo" been doing for all these
twenty years4F
1are' seemed slightly ta'en abac'. F/ccording to modern science$ matter$ that#s
to say atoms$ is made of an astonishing amo"nt of energy. the atom is act"ally a
collection of electrons$ and electrons are the smallest particles of electricity ..F
Fhis is all very interesting$F 7resident &ondy interr"pted him$ Fb"t$ yo" 'now$ !
never was all that good at physics. 3o"#re not loo'ing well$ 1are'G 8ow did yo" get
into this game$ er$ this factory4F
F1e4 otally by chance. !t#s 0"st that ! invented a new sort of element for "se
inside a light b"lb. *othing really$ ! discovered it by accident. ! have been wor'ing on
comb"stion technology for twenty years now. -o &ondy$ yo" tell me$ what is the biggest
problem facing modern technology4F
F&"siness$F the president replied. F/nd are yo" married yet4F
F!#m a widower$F 1are' answered and 0"mped "p e+citedly. F!t isn#t b"siness$
don#t yo" "nderstand4 !t#s comb"stion. =inding a way to ma'e "se of all the heat energy
bo"nd "p in matterG Consider this. when we b"rn a piece of coal we obtain less that a
h"ndred(tho"sandth of the heat energy we co"ldG Do yo" realise that4F
F,h yes$ coal is terribly e+pensive$F was 1ister &ondy#s wise opinion.
1are' sat bac' down in some irritation and said$ F!f yo" haven#t come here to see
my carb"rator yo" might as well go.F
F7lease 0"st contin"e what yo" were saying$F said the b"sinessman to reass"re his
friend.
1are' p"t his face in his hands. Fwenty years !#ve been wor'ing on this$F he
"ttered painf"lly$ Fand now$ here ! am selling it to the first b"yer to come alongG 1y
dream. 1y astonishing dreamG he greatest invention everG LiterallyG &ondy$ this is
something that will astonish yo"GF
F,h !#m s"re it will$F said &ondy to h"mo"r him$ F especially in these diffic"lt
times.F
F!t really will astonish yo"G hin' abo"t it$ ma'ing s"ch f"ll "se of the energy in
the atom that there#s nothing remainingGF
F/ha$F said the b"sinessman. F-o we can have atomic(powered heating. Well$
why not4 3o"#ve got it nice here$ I"da$ nice and cosy. 8ow many wor'ers do yo"
employ4F
1are' wasn#t listening. F3o" see$F he said slowly and caref"lly$ Fit doesn#t matter
what yo" call it) #atomic energy# or #b"rning matter# or #destroying matter#. 3o" can call it
whatever yo" li'e.F
F! li'e to call it #fire#$F said 1ister &ondy. F!t so"nds so cosy.F
F&"t #n"clear fission# is more precise. -plitting an atom into its electrons$ then
harnessing these electrons to do wor'. Do yo" see4F
F7erfectly$F the b"sinessman assented. F-imply harnessing themGF
Fhin' of two horses$ for instance$ attached by a rope and p"lling as hard as they
can in opposite directions. Do yo" 'now what that is4F
F1"st be some 'ind of sport$F 1ister &ondy opined.
F*o$ b"t never mind. he horses 'eep p"lling$ b"t they never get anywhere. &"t
what if yo" c"t the rope4F
Fhe horses will fall overGF E.8. &ondy called o"t with enth"siasm.
F*o. What they#ll do is r"n off in opposite directions. their energy will be
released. /nd now thin' of this. these horses tied together with a rope are matter. !f the
rope holding the electrons together is bro'en they will ...F
Fhey#ll r"sh away from each otherGF
F3es$ b"t we can catch these electrons and harness their energy$ do yo" see4 ,r
thin' of this. we obtain heat from$ for instance$ a piece of coal. We can get a little bit of
heat in this way$ b"t we also get ash$ coalgas and soot. he matter is still there$ do yo"
see4F
F3es. Wo"ld yo" li'e a cigarette4F
F*o than's. &"t the matter remaining still contains an enormo"s amo"nt of
"n"sed atomic energy. !f we "sed "p all the atomic energy available in the piece of coal
we wo"ld also "se "p the atoms it#s made of. !n short$ the matter wo"ld disappear)F
F/h$ now ! see.F
F!t#s as if we didn#t grind the grain properly to ma'e flo"r. throwing coal ash away
is li'e grinding 0"st a tiny o"ter s"rface of the wheat and threw the rest away. When
wheat is gro"nd properly there#s nothing left of the grain at all$ or almost nothing. !n the
same way$ if something is b"rned properly there will be almost nothing left behind. !t#s
gro"nd "p completely. !t#s "sed "p. !t ret"rns to the nothing from which it came. 3o"
see$ matter needs an awf"l lot of energy 0"st in order to e+ist. if yo" ta'e away its
e+istence$ if yo" force it not to e+ist$ yo" release an enormo"s amo"nt of power. /nd
that$ &ondy$ is how it wor's.F
F/h$ what a good idea.F
F7flMger$ for instance$ has calc"lated that one 'ilogram of coal contains twenty(
three billion calories$ altho"gh ! find that fig"re rather high.F
F,h$ certainly.F
F!#ve wor'ed it o"t at seven billion. &"t even that wo"ld mean the one 'ilogram$
f"lly b"rned$ co"ld power a fair(si%ed factory for several h"ndred ho"rsGF
FEood EodGF 1ister &ondy yelled as he 0"mped "p o"t of his chair.
F! can#t give yo" an e+act n"mber of ho"rs$ b"t for the last si+ wee's !#ve been
b"rning half a 'ilogram of coal at a press"re of thirty 'ilograms per s2"are meter and$
believe me$ that piece of coal 0"st 'eeps b"rning$ and b"rning and b"rning ..F 1are'#s
voice san' to a whisper and his face went pale.
1ister &ondy was placed in some conf"sion and he stro'ed his chin$ which was
as smooth and ro"nd as a baby#s bottom. FListen 1are'$F he began hesitantly$ Fs"rely
yo"#ve ... yo" m"st have ... made some mista'e.F
1are' waved his hand in the air. F*o. *ot at all. !f yo" 'new a bit more abo"t
physics !#d tell yo" e+actly how my carb"rator (1) wor's and how it#s b"rning this coal.
!t#s all to do with higher physics yo" see$ b"t yo" can see it for yo"rself down in the
cellar. ! p"t half a 'ilo of coal in the machine$ closed it and had it sealed by a
commissioner for oaths in front of witnesses so that no(one co"ld p"t any more coal in.
Eo and have a loo'$ go on$ go onG 3o" still won#t "nderstand it$ b"t go on. N"st goGF
F/ren#t yo" coming too4F as'ed &ondy in s"rprise.
F*o$ go by yo"rself and ( listenG ( don#t stay down there too long.F
FWhy not4F as'ed &ondy with some slight s"spicion.
FN"st don#t. !#m not s"re .... not s"re it#s very good for yo"r health down there.
/nd p"t the light on when yo"#re there$ the switch is right by the door. he noise yo"#ll
hear in the cellar isn#t my machine$ that 0"st 'eeps going witho"t any noise or any smell.
he noise is$ er$ 0"st a sort of ventilator. /nyway$ go on down$ !#ll wait here. hen yo"
can tell me ...F
1r. &ondy went down into the cellar in some relief that he had got away from this
madman for a while (there was no do"bt ab"t it$ he was 2"ite mad)$ altho"gh he was still
slightly worried he might not be able to get away from the place 2"ic'ly eno"gh at all.
Downstairs he saw that the door to the cellar was reinforced and very thic'$ 0"st li'e the
armo"red door to the strongroom in a ban'. -o$ p"t the lights on. -witch 0"st by the
door. / va"lted$ concrete cellar as clean as a mon'#s cell$ and in the middle of it an
enormo"s copper cylinder on concrete s"pports. !t was closed on all sides e+cept the top$
where there was 0"st a grating closed with a seal. !nside the device it was dar' and silent.
/ piston ran o"t from the cylinder in a smooth and reg"lar movement$ slowly t"rning a
heavy flywheel. hat#s all there was. he only noise was the "ntiring h"m of a ventilator
in the cellar window.
1aybe it was the dra"ght from the ventilator or something$ b"t 1ister &ondy felt
a strange bree%e on his forehead$ and a 'ind of feeling that his hair was standing on end.
then the feeling that he was being lifted into infinite space. then as if he was flying and
had no sense of his own weight. E.8. &ondy 'nelt down in a 'ind of ama%ement$ a 'ind
of ecstasy$ he felt li'e sho"ting and singing he seemed to hear the fl"tterings of co"ntless
"nfathomable wings. hen s"ddenly something grabbed him by the hand and yan'ed
him o"t of the cellar. !t was 1are'$ on his head was some 'ind of cowl or diving helmet$
and he dragged &ondy "p the steps. ;pstairs$ he too' the metal helmet off and wiped the
pearls of sweat from his brow.
Fhat was 2"ite long eno"gh$F he gasped in great e+citement.
(1) This is the name that Marek gave to his atomic boiler, but it is obviously uite
incorrect! this is one of the sa" conseuences of the fact that technicians "o not learn
Latin# A more a$$ro$riate name might be %combinator%, %atomkettle%, %carbo&att%,
%"isintegrator%, %M motor%, %'on"ymover%, %hylergon%,
%Molekularstoff(erset(ungskraftra"%, %)#*#% or any of the other terms suggeste" later!
they &ere, of course, not &ell receive"#
Chapter III
Pantheism
1ister &ondy almost felt he was dreaming. 1are' very gently p"t him in an
armchair and h"rried to fetch some brandy. FO"ic'$ drin' this$F he sp"ttered as$ with
trembling hand$ he gave him the glass) F-ee4 !t went bad for yo" tooGF
F,n the contrary$F said &ondy "ncertainly. F!t was .. it was bea"tif"lG ! felt li'e !
was flying or something.F
F3es$ yes$ that#s 0"st was ! tho"ght$F said 1are' br"s'ly. F /s if yo" were flying
or levitating. hat#s it$ isn#t it.F
F-"ch a blissf"l feeling$F said 1ister &ondy. Fhat m"st be what yo" call ecstasy.
/s if there were something .... something ...F
F-omething holy4F as'ed 1are' hesitantly.
F1aybe. 3es$ certainlyG !#ve never been a ch"rchgoer$ I"da$ never$ b"t down in
that cellar it felt li'e being in a ch"rch. ell me$ what was ! doing down there4F
F3o" were 'neeling$F sho"ted 1are' as he began to pace "p and down the room.
!n some conf"sion$ &ondy began to r"b his bald patch. Fhat#s very odd. ! was
'neeling$ was !4 &"t tell me$ what ... what e+actly is it$ down in that cellar$ what is it that
has s"ch a strange effect on people4F
F!t#s the carb"rator$F 1are' snapped bac' at him. 8e bit his lips and his face was
even more pale and an+io"s.
F8ellG What is it abo"t it4F wondered &ondy.
1are' 0"st shr"gged his sho"lders$ h"ng his head and contin"ed to wal' "p and
down the room.
E.8. &ondy watched him in wonderment li'e a child. 1are' is mad$ he said to
himself. b"t what on 5arth co"ld it be that affects people down in that cellar4 hat
painf"l bliss$ that astonishing certainty$ ama%ement$ h"mbling glimpse of Eod$ or what4
1ister &ondy stood "p and po"red himself another glass of brandy. F1are'$ listen$ !
'now what it is.F
FWhat is it yo" 'now4F 1are' threw bac' at him and stopped pacing.
FDown in the cellar$ that strange spirit"al feeling. ! m"st be some 'ind of
poisoning.F
F,h$ it#s certainly a 'ind of poisoning$F 1are' la"ghed angrily.
F3es$ ! 'new it straight away$F declared &ondy$ s"ddenly very satisfied with
himself. Fhat apparat"s of yo"rs$ it prod"ces$ er$ something li'e o%one$ see4 ,r rather
some 'ind of poisono"s gas. /nd when anybody breathes it$ erm$ well$ .... in short it
poisons them or it ma'es them very happy$ doesn#t it. 3es$ that#s what it is$ it#s 0"st
poisono"s gas$ that#s all. it m"st be prod"ced when yo" b"rn coal in that$ er$ in that
carb"rator of yo"rs. -ome 'ind of coal gas$ or la"ghing gas$ or phosgen$ or something of
that sort. hat#s why yo"#ve got that ventilator there. /nd that#s why yo" wear a gas
mas' to go down there$ isn#t it. 3o"#ve got some 'ind of damned gas down there.F
F!f only it were as simple as that$F 1are' said$ sha'ing his fists in his o"tb"rst.
FDon#t yo" see$ &ondy4 hat#s why !#ve got to sell this carb"ratorG ! simply can#t bear it$
can#t bear it$ can#t bear it$F he sho"ted$ almost in tears. F! had no idea my carb"rator was
going to do something li'e thisG errible harm li'e thisG hin' abo"t it$ it#s been doing
this to me ever since it first startedG 5veryone feels the same thing$ anyone who goes
near it. 3o" still don#t 'now anything abo"t it$ &ondy. 1y careta'er was completely
destroyed by it.F
F7oor man$F sympathised the b"sinessman in s"rprise. F3o" mean it 'illed him4F
F*o$ b"t it t"rned him completely$F 1are' sho"ted in despair. F3o"#re someone !
can tell it to$ &ondy) 1y invention$ my carb"rator$ has one horrible drawbac'. &"t !
'now yo"#ll b"y it anyway$ or at least accept it from me as a gift) yo"#d b"y it even if
demons came r"nning o"t of it. !t doesn#t matter yo"$ 0"st as long as yo" can ma'e yo"r
millions from it ( and yo" will ma'e millions from it. !t#s awf"l$ and ! want nothing more
to do with it. 3o"r conscience isn#t as sensitive as mine$ do yo" hear me$ &ondy4 3o"#ll
ma'e millions$ tho"sands of millions. b"t the terrible evil it creates will be on yo"r
conscience. -o ma'e yo"r mind "pGF
FDon#t give me thatGF &ondy defended himself. F!f it prod"ces poisono"s gases
they#ll ban it and that#ll be that. 3o" 'now what they#re li'e here. &"t in /merica
tho"gh ...F
F!t#s nothing to do with poisono"s gases$F 1are' yelled at him. F!t#s something a
tho"sand times worse. Listen caref"lly to what ! tell yo"$ &ondy$ this is something
beyond h"man "nderstanding$ there#s not the slightest tric' or dishonesty abo"t it. his
carb"rator of mine can b"rn matter completely$ it b"rns it so perfectly that there#s not
even a spec' of d"st left behind. or ! s"ppose yo"#d say it smashes matter$ p"lverises it$
ta'es it apart electron by electron$ it cons"mes it$ grinds it ( ! don#t 'now what to call it.
!n short$ it cons"mes it entirely. 3o"#ve no idea 0"st what enormo"s power there is in
atoms. With half a h"ndredweight of coal in its boiler a liner co"ld sail all the way ro"nd
the world$ 'eep the lights on in all of 7rag"e$ power a h"ge factory$ whatever yo" li'e.
with a piece of coal the si%e of a waln"t yo" co"ld heat and coo' for a whole family. /nd
it needn#t even be coal at all. yo" can f"el my carb"rator with the first pebble or handf"l
of d"st yo" come across by yo"r front door. 5very cr"mb of matter contains more energy
within it than the biggest steam boiler. it simply has to be digestedG !t simply has to be
b"rned entirelyG &ondy$ ! can do it. my carb"rator can do it. yo"#ll be forced to admit that
twenty years of hard wor' were well spent.F
F3o" see$ I"da$F began the b"sinessman slowly$ Fit#s very strange) b"t in some
way ! believe yo". ! swear it$ ! believe yo". 3o" see$ when ! was standing in front of that
carb"rator of yo"rs ! had a sense of something immense and great$ something that co"ld
cr"sh a man. ! can#t help it) ! believe yo". Down there in the cellar yo"#ve got something
mysterio"s. -omething that will overt"rn the world.F
F/h$ &ondy$F said 1are' in a h"shed and an+io"s voice$ Fthat#s 0"st where the
catch is. Listen$ !#ll tell yo" all abo"t it. 8ave yo" ever read -pino%a4F
F*o.F
F*o$ nor have !. b"t now$ yo" see$ now ! have beg"n to read that sort of thing. !
don#t "nderstand what ! read$ that sort of thing is very hard for a technician li'e me$ b"t !
thin' there#s something in it. Do yo" believe in Eod4F
F1e4 Well$F E.8. &ondy considered$ Fto be honest ! don#t 'now. 1aybe Eod
does e+ist$ b"t on some distant star somewhere. *ot here. Definitely not hereG Eod 0"st
co"ldn#t fit in with times li'e these. What do yo" thin' Eod wo"ld do here4F
F! don#t believe$F said 1are' harshly. F! don#t want to believe. !#ve always been
an atheist. ! believed in matter and in progress and nothing else. !#m a scientist$ &ondy$
and science has no place for Eod.F
F/s far as b"siness is concerned$F 1ister &ondy declared$ Fit doesn#t matter one
way or the other. !f Eod wants to e+ist$ let 8im. We can both e+ist at the same time.F
F&"t$ &ondy$ from the point of view of science$F said 1are' lo"dly and sharply$
FEod is absol"tely "nacceptable. 5ither 8e can e+ist or science can e+ist. ! don#t insist
Eod doesn#t e+ist. all ! say is that 8e o"ght not to$ or at least that 8e o"ght not to show
himself. /nd ! believe that science$ step by step$ is p"shing 8im aside$ or at least that it#s
limiting the ways 8e can show himself. and ! believe that is its greatest f"nction of
science.F
F3o" co"ld be right$F answered the b"sinessman lang"idly. F-o let#s 0"st contin"e
to progress.F
F*ow$ &ondy$ imagine that ... no$ wait. Let me p"t it li'e this) Do yo" 'now
what#s meant by #pantheism#4 hat#s the belief that everything that e+ists is a
manifestation of Eod or the /bsol"te or whatever yo" want to call it. 7eople$ stones$
grass$ water$ all are manifestions of Eod. /nd do yo" 'now what -pino%a says4 hat
matter is nothing more than a manifestation of one aspect of Eod$ while the other aspect
is spirit. /nd do yo" 'now what =echner says4F
F! don#t$F the b"sinessman admitted.
F/ccording to =echner$ everything has its spirit$ that Eod has p"t a so"l into every
piece of matter in the world. /nd do yo" 'now Leibni%4 /ccording to Leibni%$ matter is
made "p of points of spirit$ monads$ which are the s"bstance of Eod. What do yo" thin'
of that4F
F! don#t 'now$F said E.8. &ondy$ F! don#t "nderstand any of it.F
F*o$ nor do !. it gets very complicated. &"t s"ppose all matter really does contain
something of Eod$ that Eod really is in some way enclosed within it. hen if that matter
is completely destroyed Eod will s"ddenly be released and leap o"t of it li'e a 0ac'(in(
the(bo+$ 8e#ll flow o"t of matter li'e gas and smo'e from hot coal. !f yo" b"rn one atom
yo" s"ddenly have yo"r cellar filled "p with the /bsol"te. !t#s ama%ing how it fills the
whole space immediately.F
F8old on$F 1ister &ondy interr"pted. F-ay all that again$ b"t slowly this time.F
F!magine the /bsol"te$F 1are' repeated$ Fenclosed within any and every piece of
matter$ bo"nd within it in some way. &o"nd$ inert energy yo" co"ld call it. ,r$ to p"t it
more simply$ if Eod is everywhere 8e#s inside every piece and every fragment of matter.
*ow imagine yo" annihilate that piece of matter$ destroy it so f"lly that there seems to be
nothing left. b"t if every piece of matter is act"ally matter pl"s the /bsol"te$ all yo"#ve
destoyed is the matter and the part that cannot be destroyed will remain. the p"re$ active
/bsol"te. 3o"#re left with a resid""m which is not material and cannot be decomposed
chemically$ it has no spectral line or atomic weight$ no chemical valency$ it doesn#t obey
&oyle#s law and doesn#t have any of the characteristics of matter whatsoever. *one at all.
What remains is p"re Eod. Chemically it#s nothing$ b"t it has immense power. &eca"se
it isn#t matter$ it isn#t bo"nd by the laws of nat"re$ and that means it will show itself in
ways that are against nat"re$ it will perform miracles. /ll this follows from the premiss
that Eod is present within matter. Can yo" conceive of that$ that Eod is within matter4F
F3es$ ! can$F said &ondy. F/nd then what4F
FWell$F said 1are' as he stood "p$ Fit really is all tr"e.F
Chapter IV
God in the asement
he b"sinessman s"c'ed deteminedly on his cigar. F/nd how did yo" find o"t
abo"t all this yo"rself4F he as'ed.
F&y its effects on me$F answered 1are'$ once more pacing abo"t the room. F&y
perfectly decomposing matter$ my carb"rator creates a by(prod"ct) the /bsol"te$ p"re and
"nbo"nd. Eod in all 8is chemical p"rity. 3o" co"ld say it ch"c's o"t mechanical energy
at one end and the essence of Eod at the other. N"st li'e separating water into hydrogen
and o+ygen$ only on a m"ch larger scale.F
F8m$F gr"nted 1ister &ondy. FCarry on.F
FWhat ! thin'$F 1are' went on ca"tio"sly$ Fis that there are some e+ceptional
individ"als who are able to separate matter and divine s"bstance themselves) in some
way$ they can remove the /bsol"te from matter li'e p"tting it thro"gh a sieve. 7eople
li'e Nes"s$ miracle wor'ers$ fa'irs$ medi"ms and prophets$ there#s some 'ind of psychic
power that they have. 1y carb"rator does the same thing in a p"rely mechanical way. !t#s
a 'ind of factory for the /bsol"te.F
FIeally4F said E.8. &ondy. F&"t do let#s stay with the facts.F
Fhe fact is that ! have made the perfect carb"rator) first 0"st in theory$ then !
made a small non(wor'ing model$ and then the fo"rth model started to r"n properly. !t
wasn#t very big b"t it ran li'e a dream. /nd it was while ! was wor'ing with it$ however
little$ that ! began to notice a strange spirit"al sort of effect. / sort of elation or
enchantment. ! tho"ght it m"st be beca"se ! was so happy with my invention$ or perhaps
0"st overwor'. &"t then ! started ma'ing prophesies and performing miracles.F
FWhat4F 1ister &ondy yelled.
F1a'ing prophesies and performing miracles$F 1are' groaned earnestly. Fhere
was a period that felt li'e an ama%ing enlightenment$ and it felt wonderf"l. ! simply
'new$ for instance$ completely clearly what was going to happen in the f"t"re. ! even
'new in advance that yo" were going to come here. /nd then one day my nail was torn
off one finger while ! was wor'ing at a lathe. ! loo'ed at the in0"red finger and as !
watched$ the nail grew bac'. ! was obvio"sly glad to see it happen$ b"t it was a very
strange feeling ( and there was something horrible abo"t it. ,r can yo" believe that !
co"ld wal' in the air4 Levitation$ they call it. ! never "sed to believe in nonsense li'e
that. hin' what a shoc' that was for meGF
F!#m s"re it was$F said &ondy serio"sly. Fhat m"st have been a terrible
e+perience.F
F!t was terrible. ! tho"ght ! m"st have some nervo"s problem$ a"tos"ggestion or
something. 1eanwhile$ !#d b"ilt that big carb"rator in the basement and got it started. /s
! told yo" 0"st now$ it#s been r"nning for si+ wee's now$ day and night. /nd it was only
then that ! began to realise 0"st how big this might t"rn o"t. Within a day the basement
was f"ll to b"rsting with the /bsol"te and it was starting to creep its way ro"nd the whole
ho"se. he p"re /bsol"te can pass thro"gh any material of co"rse$ b"t it ta'es longer
going thro"gh strong solids. !n the open air it travels as fast as light. When ! stepped
down into it it came over me li'e some 'ind of fit$ it made me sho"t o"t$ and ! don#t 'now
how ! got the strength to r"n away from it. &ac' "pstairs ! had the chance to start
thin'ing abo"t it. 1y first tho"ght was it m"st be some sort of new inebriating gas$ li'e
la"ghing gas$ created by the complete b"rning. hat#s why ! had that ventilator fitted.
wo of the wor'men were overcome with enlightenment while they were doing it and
had visions$ the third one was an alcoholic tho"gh$ and that co"ld have even made him
imm"ne to it in some way. While ! still tho"ght it was some 'ind of gas ! did a series of
e+periments) and one interesting finding was that in the /bsol"te any light shines a lot
brighter. !f it co"ld be held in glass !#d p"t it inside the light b"lbs b"t it 0"st escapes from
whatever yo" try to p"t it in$ however well sealed. hen ! tho"ght it m"st be something
li'e >(rays$ b"t it leaves no electric trace or any trace on photographic paper. ,n the
third day we had to p"t the careta'er into hospital$ he lives right over the cellar$ and his
wife with him.F
FWhy was that4F &ondy as'ed. F!t t"rned him. 8e was inpired. 8e started
giving religio"s speeches and performing miracles. 8is wife started ma'ing prophesies.
1y careta'er was a thoro"ghly solid person$ an atheist and a freethin'er$ an e+tremely
sensible man. !magine$ all of a s"dden he started healing people by a to"ch of the hand.
he police were told straight away of co"rse$ and the local doctor$ a friend of mine$ was
e+trememly angry abo"t it. ! had to have the careta'er p"t into hospital so that it wo"ldn#t
get any worse. hey tell me he#s doing well in hospital$ he#s better now and he#s lost his
mirac"lo"s powers. !#ll send him o"t in the co"ntry somewhere where he can convalesce.
! started performing miracles myself$ ! started 'nowing what was happening at a distance$
and 'ept on seeing forests of enormo"s ferns with bogs and strange animals wal'ing
abo"t. his m"st have been beca"se ! was b"rning coal from ;pper -ilesia$ the oldest
sort. he god in that coal was the god of the Carbonifero"s age.F
1ister &ondy sh"ddered. F1are'$ this is awf"lGF
F!t is$F said 1are' gloomily. F!t slowly dawned on me that it wasn#t any 'ind of
gas$ it was the /bsol"te. ! began to see things$ horrible things$ ! co"ld read people#s
minds$ ! shone with light. !t was all ! co"ld do to stop myself falling into prayer or go o"t
and preach the love of Eod on the street. ! tho"ght of covering "p the carb"rator with
sand$ b"t when ! tried it ! started to levitate. here#s nothing that can stop it. ! can#t sleep
at home any more. 5ven in the factory$ among the wor'ers$ there have been some serio"s
cases of enlightenment. ! don#t 'now what to do$ &ondy. !#ve tried everything yo" can
thin' of to 'eep the /bsol"te in the cellar and isolated from the o"tside world ( ash$ sand$
metal walls ( b"t there#s nothing that can stop it. ! tried covering the cellar with the
writings of 7rofessor 6re0PQ$ -pencer$ 8aec'el$ any sort of positivist b"t ( can yo" believe
it4 ( the /bsol"te can even withstand thatG *ewspapers$ prayer boo's$ -aint /dalbert$
patriotic songs$ "niversity lect"res$ the wor's of O.1. Hys'oPil$ political pamphlets$
parliamentary records ( the /bsol"te can withstand them all. ! 0"st don#t 'now what to
do. !t can#t be enclosed and it can#t be cleared away. !t#s an evil that#s been set loose on
the world.F
F*ow then$ now then$F said 1ister &ondy$ Fis it really as bad as all that4 5ven if
all of this were tr"e wo"ld it really be s"ch a great misfort"ne4 F F&ondy$ my
carb"rator is a terrible thing. !t will change everything we 'now$ it will change the whole
of society. everything we b"y will be a fraction of the cost. it will mean an end to poverty
and h"nger. it means there will never be another ice age. &"t on the other hand it will
h"rl Eod into the world as its by(prod"ct at the same time. &ondy$ ! beg of yo"$ don#t
"nderestimate its force. Eod$ the real Eod$ is not something we#ve ever had to get "sed
to. we can#t imagine what the presence of Eod in the world co"ld do to o"r c"lt"re or o"r
ethics or anything else. We#re tal'ing here abo"t h"man civilisation itselfGF 1ister
&ondy$ the b"sinessman$ tho"ght for a short while$ and said$ FWait$ maybe it#s 0"st some
'ind of c"rse. 8ave yo" called in a priest to have a loo' at it4F
FWhat sort of priest4F
F/ny sort. !t doesn#t matter what denomination they belong to. 1aybe a priest
co"ld p"t some 'ind of ban on it.F
F-"perstition$F e+claimed 1are'. FDon#t waste my time with r"bbish li'e thatG
hey#d want to t"rn my cellar into one of their places of pilgrimage and have miracles
happen thereG ! don#t want that$ not with my viewsGF
F/s yo" li'e$F declared 1ister &ondy. F!#ll call a priest myself. 3o" never 'now$
and it can#t do any harm. /t least !#ve got nothing against Eod$ 0"st as long as 8e doesn#t
interfere in b"siness. 8ave yo" ever tried spea'ing to him nicely4F
F*o$F replied 1are' indignantly.
Fhat was a mista'e$F said E.8. &ondy drily. F3o" might be able to come to
some 'ind of agreement wih 8im. / nice tight contract. !t might read something li'e)
We agree to contin"e with yo"r discreet man"fact"re$ witho"t interr"ption$ "p to a
vol"me to be negotiated) on yo"r part$ yo" agree to abstain from any manifestations of
the Divine within so and so many meters of the place of prod"ction. 8ow does that
so"nd$ do yo" thin' 8e#d find that acceptable4F F*o idea$F answered 1are' in
disg"st. F8e seems to li'e e+isting independently of matter. 1aybe ... maybe in 8is own
interest ... 8e#d be willing to tal' to yo"$ b"t leave me o"t of it.F
F/s yo" li'e$F the b"sinessman agreed$ F!#ll send my lawyer ro"nd first thing.
8e#s a very clever and tactf"l man. /nd then$ thirdly$ it might be worth offering 8im a
ch"rch somewhere. he cellar of a factory and all that s"rro"nds it might be$ er$ might be
a little "ndignified for 8im. We o"ght really to find o"t what sort of thing 8e wo"ld li'e.
8ave yo" tried that4F
F*o$ !#d rather flood the cellar with water.F
FDon#t get carried away now$ 1are'. ! e+pect !#ll want to b"y this invention of
yo"rs. 3o" do "nderstand$ of co"rse$ that ... ! will have my technicians loo' at it ... this is
something that needs to be e+amined. !t co"ld 0"st t"rn o"t to be poisono"s gas after all$
b"t if it really is Eod 8imself$ if the carb"rator really wor's ...F
1are' stood "p. F3o" mean yo" wo"ld dare to set "p the carb"rator in the 15/-
factory4F
F3es. ! wo"ld dare$F said E.8. &ondy as he stood "p. FWe can p"t the carb"rator
into mass prod"ction. Carb"rators for trains and ships$ carb"rators for central heating in
every home and office$ every factory and school. Within ten years there#ll be nobody left
in the world who heats any other way. ! can offer yo" three procent of gross profits. !t
might be no more than a few million in the first year$ b"t in the mean time yo" can move
o"t so that ! can send my people in. !#ll get a consecrating bishop here first thing in the
morning. ry and stay o"t of his way$ I"da$ ! don#t li'e to see yo" li'e this$ yo" seem so
nervo"s. here#s no point in ins"lting the /bsol"te before we even get started.F
1are' was aghast. F&ondy$F he whispered$ F! warn yo" now) yo"#ll be bringing
Eod into the worldGF
Fhat#s that settled then$F said &ondy with dignity$ Fand yo" have my word on the
matter. /nd ! only hope ! don#t come to regret it.F
Chapter V
The Consecrating ishop.
/bo"t a fortnight into the new year$ 1are' was sitting in 1ister &ondy#s office.
F8ow far have yo" got4F as'ed 1ister &ondy$ raising his head from some papers.
F!#ve finished$F answered 1are'. F!#ve given yo"r engineers detailed drawings of
the carb"rator. hat bald one ... what#s his name again4F
F6rolm"s.F
F/h yes$ 6rolm"s. !t was wonderf"l how he simplified my atomic motor. the part
that t"rns the electron energy into wor'. 8e#s a very clever engineer$ that 6rolm"s. What
else is new4F
7resident E.8. &ondy 'ept on writing and said nothing. FWe#re b"ilding$F he told
1are' after a while. F-even tho"sand bric'layers. / factory for carb"rators.F
FWhere4F
F*orth east of 7rag"e. /nd we#ve increased o"r share capital by one and a half
billion. he papers have been saying something abo"t o"r new invention. Loo' at that$F
he added as he lay half a h"ndredweight of C%ech and foreign newspapers on 1are'#s
lap. hen he immersed himself once more in some paperwor'.
F!t#s already been two wee's now that$ er ..F began 1are' "neasily.
FWhat4F
Fwo wee's already$ that !#ve not been near my factory in &Jevnov. ! ... ! 0"st
don#t dare go near it. What#s been happening there4F
F1hm.F
F/nd ... and what abo"t my carb"rator4F 1are' as'ed$ overcoming his an+iety.
F-till r"nning.F
F/nd .. and what abo"t the other one4F
7resident &ondy sighed and p"t down his pen. F3o" 'now we had to have
1i+ova -treet closed off$ do yo"4F
FWhat was that for4F
F7eople were going there to pray. Crowds of them. When the police tried to
disperse them there were seven people left dead. hey 0"st let them beat them li'e
sheep.F
Fhat#s e+actly what yo"#d e+pect$ 0"st what yo"#d e+pect$F m"ttered 1are' in
despair.
FWe closed the street off with barbed wire$F &ondy contin"ed. F/nd we had to
ma'e everyone move o"t of the ho"ses in the area. 0"st the same religio"s manifestations
yo" see. here#s a commission from the 1inistry of 8ealth and the 1inistry of
!nformation there now.F
F! thin' they#ll 0"st ban my carb"rator$F sighed 1are' with a sense of relief.
FCo"rse they won#t$F said E.8. &ondy. Fhe priests are ma'ing an enormo"s f"ss
abo"t it$ and so the progressive parties are trying to 'eep it all secret. *obody really
'nows what it#s all abo"t. ! can tell yo" don#t read the papers. he polemic against the
Ch"rch is getting stronger all the time$ altho"gh there#s really no need for it. /nd$ as it
happens$ the Ch"rch isn#t entirely wrong in this case. hat damned consecrating bishop
informed the cardinal ...F
FConsecrating bishop4 What bishop4F
F&ishop Linda$ or something. 8e seems 2"ite reasonable really. ! too' him to
&Jevnov to have a loo' at this mirac"lo"s /bsol"te of yo"rs and give an e+pert opinion.
8e spent three days there e+amining it$ all the time down in the cellar and ... F
FDid it t"rn him4F e+claimed 1are'.
F*ot at allG 1aybe he#s had too m"ch training abo"t Eod$ or maybe he#s a more
hard(bitten atheist than yo" are$ ! don#t 'now. b"t anyway$ after these three days he came
to me and said that$ as far as the Catholic Ch"rch was concerned$ any tal' of Eod was o"t
of the 2"estion$ that the Ch"rch simply denied any pantheistic theory and banned them as
heresy. !n a word$ that the Ch"rch had never given its s"pport to any legal$ a"thorised
god. /s a priest$ he wo"ld have to declare the carb"rator a fra"d$ a del"sion and a heresy.
8e tal's a lot of sense$ that priest.F
F8e didn#t feel any 'ind of s"pernat"ral effects$ then4F
F8e felt everything) enlightenment$ performing miracles$ ecstasty$ everything. 8e
doesn#t deny that those things happen.F
F8ow does he e+plain it all then4F
F8e doesn#t. he Ch"rch doesn#t e+plain$ he said$ it commands or condemns. !n
short$ he resol"tely ref"sed to compromise the Ch"rch with any god that was new and
"ntested. /nd ! co"ld see his point. 3o" 'now !#ve bo"ght a ch"rch$ do yo"4F
FWhat for4F
F!t was the nearest one to &Jevnov. hree h"ndred tho"sand it cost meG ! offered
it to the absol"te$ gave my word in writing that it co"ld move in there. !t#s a nice little
baro2"e ch"rch$ and ! even adapted it beforehand so that the /bsol"te wo"ld have
everything 8e might want. /nd then the odd thing was that altho"gh a few steps from
the ch"rch$ at n"mber CKR$ there was a pl"mber who went into a fine case of ecstasy$ in
the ch"rch itself there#s been nothingG *othing mirac"lo"s there at allG here was one
case as far away as Ho'ovice$ and even two in 6oSQJe$ on the f"nic"lar railway "p 7etJQn
hill there was a real epidemic of religiosity. /ll the radiotelegraphers wor'ing there
s"ddenly started sending o"t ecstatic telegrams everywhere$ some 'ind of new
evangeli"m. Eod has come bac' down to 5arth$ they said$ come to save "s all$ and all
that sort of thing. thin' how embarrassing that isG /ll the progressive papers have started
pestering the 1inistry of 7osts and really made the feathers fly. #the priests are growing
horns# they#re sho"ting$ and all sorts of daft things li'e that. *o(one$ so far$ has any idea
that it#s anything to do with the carb"rator. 1are'$F &ondy contin"ed$ dropping to a
whisper$ F!#ll tell yo" something$ b"t it#s strictly secret. a wee' ago$ the minister of
defence was affected.F
FWhat4GF 1are' e+claimed.
FO"iet. he minister of defence. !t s"ddenly came over him while he was at
home. he ne+t day he called "p 7rag"e &arrac's and started tal'ing to them abo"t
eternal peace$ called on the soldiers to become martyrs. 8e had to resign straight away$
of co"rse. !n the papers they said he#d s"ddenly fallen ill. hat#s how it#s going$ my
friend.F
1are' was worried. F/lready in 7rag"e$F he m"ttered. Fhis is terrible$ &ondy$
it#s spreading so fastGF
F!t#s bo"ndless$F 7resident &ondy said. Fhere was someone who moved a piano
into 7rag"e from 1i+ova -treet$ where all the infection was$ and within twenty(fo"r
ho"rs the whole ho"se was going mad ...F
he b"sinessman did not finish his sentence. / servant entered and anno"nced
that &ishop Linda was at the door. 1are' was going to h"rry away$ b"t &ondy sat him
bac' down and told him$ FN"st sit down and be 2"iet. his bishop is a charming man.F
hen &ishop Linda came in the room. 8e was a 0olly little man with golden
spectacle frames and a mo"th that li'ed to la"gh$ altho"gh$ as a member of the Ch"rch he
'ept it p"rsed in a way that befitted a priest. &ondy introd"ced 1are' to him as the
owner of that "nfort"nate basement in &Jevnov. he bishop r"bbed his hands in glee$
whereas 1are' angrily st"ttered something it being a pleas"re altho"gh it co"ld be seen
on his face that it wasn#t) 0"st get me away from here$ yo" fool. he bishop rinsed his
mo"th and t"rned nimbly to &ondy.
Linda was as lively as ever$ b"t hesitated slightly. F1ister &ondy$F he finally
began$ F!#ve come to yo" on a very delicate matter. Hery delicate$F he repeated$ savo"ring
the words as he repeated them. FWe have been disc"ssing yo"r$ er$ yo"r case in the
consistory. 8is 5minence the archbishop is inclined to settle this aw'ward matter as
2"ietly as possible. 3o" see$ this "ndignified matter of wor'ing miracles. 7lease forgive
me$ ! have no wish to h"rt the feelings of this gentleman$ the owner of ...F
F7lease 0"st get on with it$F 1are' told him c"rtly.
FWell$ in short$ all this scandal. 8is 5minence has given his view that$ from the
point of view of reason or of faith$ there is nothing more dist"rbing than these godless
violations and downright heretical violations of the laws of nat"re ...F
FLet me say something$F threw in 1are'$ showing his resentment . F3o" can
'indly leave the laws of nat"re to "s. /nd in ret"rn we won#t interfere with yo"r dogmasF
F,h$ b"t ! fear yo" are mista'en$F ret"rned the bishop with a big smile. F3o" are
mista'en. -cience witho"t dogmas is nothing more than a collection of do"bts. /nd
what is worse$ this /bsol"te of yo"rs is violating the laws of the Ch"rch. !t is denying
teachings abo"t holiness. !t has no respect for Ch"rch traditions. !t disr"pts doctrines of
the rinity ( and does so in a rather coarse way. !t pays no attention to the apostolic
s"ccession. !t doesn#t even respond to e+orcism. /nd so on. !n short$ it behaves in a way
that leaves "s with no choice other than to simply and firmly re0ect it.F
F*ow$ now$F inter0ected 1ister &ondy in an attempt to calm things down. F;p
"ntil now the /bsol"te has behaved itself in a way that has been 2"ite ... dignified.F
he consecrating bishop raised a finger in admonishment. F;p "ntil now. b"t we
don#t 'now how it will behave in the f"t"re. 1ister &ondy$ listen$F he contin"ed$
s"ddenly becoming more intimate$ Fit#s very important for yo" that things sho"ldn#t t"rn
o"t badly. !t#s very important for "s too. /s a practical man !#m s"re yo" will want to p"t
a 2"iet end to the matter. hat is also what we want as the representatives and servants of
Eod. We cannot allow some new god to appear$ not even a new religion.F
Fhan' Eod for that$F said &ondy in relief. F! 'new we co"ld come to some
arrangement.F
F5+cellentGF e+claimed the bishop$ his eyes spar'ling with glee thro"gh the lenses
of his glasses. FCome to some arrangementG he venerable consistory has already
decided that$ for the sa'e of Ch"rch interests$ it wo"ld be willing to ta'e on this er$ this
/bsol"te of yo"rs as a ward of the Ch"rch. it will ma'e every effort to g"ide it in
accordance with the tenets of the Catholic faith. it will ac'nowledge the miracles at the
ho"se in &Jevnov and declare it a place of pilgrimage ...F
F,h noGF e+ploded 1are' as he 0"mped "p o"t of his chair.
F7lease allow me$F said the bishop with 2"iet a"thority. F/ place of pilgrimage
b"t$ of co"rse$ with certain conditions attached. he first condition is that man"fact"re of
the /bsol"te at the aforementioned address will be 'ept to a minim"m$ in order that it
manifest itself only in a dil"ted form which will be wea'er$ less vir"lent. !n this way its
effects will be easier to 'eep "nder control and appear only sporadically$ m"ch the sme as
at Lo"rdes. !#m afraid we cannot ta'e on this responsibility otherwise.F
Fhat will be alright$F 1ister &ondy agreed. FWhat ne+t4F
F*e+t$F the bishop contin"ed$ Fthe /bsol"te sho"ld be created only "sing coal
from 1al: -vatoTonice. !#m s"re yo" are aware that that is already a place where ,"r
Lady has performed miracles$ so with the help of coal from that location we can t"rn the
ho"se in &Jevnov into a place of pilgrimage for the c"lt of 1ary.F
F&y all means$F 1ister &ondy acceded. F!s there anything else4F
Fhirdly$ yo" m"st agree never to man"fact"re the /bsol"te at any other site$
neither now nor in the f"t"re.F
FWhat4F the b"sinessman e+claimed. F&"t o"r carb"rators... F
F... will never be p"t into operation$ apart from the single one at &Jevnov$ which
will be the property of the holy Ch"rch and be operated by her.F
F*onsense$F E.8. &ondy ob0ected. FCarb"rators will contin"e to be made. here
are ten of them d"e to be installed in the ne+t three wee's. ,ver the ne+t si+ months
twelve h"ndred$ and ten tho"sand of them over the ne+t year. We#ve already committed
o"rselves to that.F
F/nd ! have to tell yo"$F said the consecrating bishop 2"ietly and sweetly$ Fthat
within a year$ there will be no carb"rator operating anywhere.F
FWhy#s that4F
F&eca"se nobody$ be they believers or non(believers$ co"ld have any "se for a
real$ active god. !t simply cannot be$ gentlemen. !t#s o"t of the 2"estion.F
F/nd ! have to tell yo"$F 1are' p"t in with a passion$ Fthat there will be
carb"ratorsG *ow$ now !#m in favo"r of them myself$ and !#m in favo"r of them beca"se
yo" are not. N"st to spite yo"$ 3o"r Erace the &ishopG N"st to spite yo" and all yo"r
s"perstitions$ 0"st to spite Iome and all it stands forG /nd ! will be the first to
proclaim ...F 8ere the engineer pa"sed to ta'e breath$ and then declared with
"nmelodio"s enth"siasm) FLong Live the 7erfect Carb"ratorGF
he bishop sighed. FWe shall see$F he said. F3o" will see that the hono"rable
consistory was 2"ite right. Within a year yo" will stop the man"fact"re of carb"rators
yo"self. &"t what harm ( so m"ch harmG ( will have been done in the meantime4
Eentlemen$ please don#t thin' the holy Ch"rch is opposed to seeing the appearance of
Eod here on 5arth. he Ch"rch merely considers and reg"lates 8im. &"t yo"$
gentlemen$ yo" "nbelievers$ yo" wo"ld "nleash 8im li'e a flood. he -hip of 7eter did
warn "s abo"t this new Del"ge. *oah#s /r' was able to float above the waters of the
/bsol"te$ b"t this modern society of yo"rs$F the bishop#s voice became stern and
powerf"l$ Fyo"r modern society will be swept awayGF
Chapter VI
!"A#
FEentlemen$F said 7resident E.8. &ondy at the meeting of company directors of
15/- that too' place on the 20. =ebr"ary$ F! can inform yo" that the first b"ilding of o"r
new factory comple+ in north(east 7rag"e started operation yesterday. he mass
prod"ction of carb"rators will begin in the ne+t few day$ starting at the rate of eighteen
per day. &y /pril we e+pect to be prod"cing si+ty(five carb"rators per day and by the
end of N"ly it will be two h"ndred. =ifty 'ilometers of o"r own railway line have been
laid down$ its main f"nction will be to bring in coal$ and twelve steam boilers are
c"rrently being assembled. Constr"ction of a new ho"sing estate for o"r wor'ers is
"nderway.F
Fwelve steam boilers4F as'ed Doctor 8"b'a wearily$ the leader of the
opposition.
F3es$ twelve for the time being$F 7resident &ondy confirmed.
F-eems odd$F Doctor 8"b'a tho"ght.
FWhat is odd abo"t twelve steam boilers4F as'ed 1ister &ondy. F=or a
man"fact"ring plant of this si%e ...F
F,f co"rse$F several voices were heard saying.
Doctor 8"b'a smiled sarcastically. F/nd what are these fifty 'ilometers of
railway trac' for4F
F=or the s"pply of coal and materials. ,nce in f"ll operation we e+pect to "se
eight wagon(loads of coal per day. !#m afraid ! don#t 2"ite see what ob0ection Doctor
8"b'a has to a s"pply of coal.F
Fhis is my ob0ection$F said Doctor 8"b'a$ standing "p from his chair and raising
his voice$ F! find this whole thing highly s"spicio"s. 3es$ gentlemen$ e+tremely
s"spicio"s. he president of o"r firm has compelled "s to b"ild a factory ma'ing
carb"rators. Carb"rators$ he ass"res "s$ are the sole energy of the f"t"re. Carb"rators$ he
tells "s 2"ite e+plicitly$ can generate a tho"sand horse(power from one b"c'et of coal.
/nd now he tells "s abo"t a do%en steam boilers and whole wagon(loads of coal to feed
them. Eentlemen$ please tell my why it is that we can#t power o"r factory on 0"st one
b"c'et of coal. Why are we b"ilding steam boilers when we can have atomic motors4
Eentlemen$ if this whole carb"rator thing is anything b"t a cheap swindle then ! don#t
"nderstand why o"r president hasn#t ordered a new factory r"n by them. ! don#t
"nderstand that$ and no(one else ever will either. Why is it that o"r president has so little
faith in these carb"rators of his that he#s not even willing to "se them in o"r own
factories4 his$ gentlemen$ is a terrible advertisement for o"r carb"rators if we can#t "se
them o"rselves in their man"fact"re. ! "rge yo"$ gentlemen$ to as' 1ister &ondy what
his reasons are. /s for myself$ !#ve already made my decision. hat is all ! have to sayGF
/t which Doctor 8"b'a resol"tely sat bac' down in his seat and blew his nose in
tri"mph.
Fhere was an "neasy silence in the board room. Doctor 8"b'a#s acc"sations had
been too clear. 7resident &ondy 'ept his eyes on his papers and showed nothing on his
face.
F1nye"$ well$ er$F old Iosenthal began in an attempt to 2"ieten matters$ Fwell$
the president has e+plained all this. 1nyes$ well gentlemen$ er$ e+plained it$ he has. !$
mnye"$ er$ well in my opinion$ yes$ in$ er the best sense. Doctor$ er$ 8"b'a$ he$ er$ well
yes$ with$ er$ with regard to what we have been told.F
1ister &ondy finally raised his eyes. FEentlemen$F he began 2"ietly$ F! have
presented yo" what o"r engineers have to say abo"t the carb"rator and all of it is
enco"raging. he matter is$ in fact$ 0"st as yo" have been told. he carb"rator is not a
swindle. We have b"ilt ten prototypes and all of them are operating perfectly. 8ere are
the reports abo"t them) Carb"rator n"mber 1$ operating an e+traction p"mp near -9%ava$
operating contin"o"slyfor fo"rteen days. *"mber 2$ dredger on the Iiver Hltava$
operating e+tremely well. *"mber D$ in an e+perimental laboratory at a technical college.
*"mber C$ damaged in transit. *"mber K$ powering the lighting in the city of 8radec
6r9lov:. hat#s the ten 'ilogram model. *"mber @$ the five 'ilogram model$ is at a mill
thirty 'ilometers west of 7rag"e. *"mber R$ installed for the central heating in a bloc' of
flats. he owner of the b"ilding is here with "s now$ 1ister 1ach9t. 1ister 1ach9t$ if
yo" pleaseGF
he elderly gentleman of this name 0"mped awa'e$ as if from a dream. F,h$ er$
sorry$ what was that4F
FWe were as'ing yo" how yo"r new central heating was doing4F
FCentral heating4 What central heating4F
F!n yo"r new bloc' of flats$F said 1ister &ondy patiently.
FWhat bloc' of flats4F
Fhe new one yo" had b"ilt.F
F*ew bloc' of flats4 ! haven#t got a new bloc' of flats.F
F1nye"$ well$ er$F 1ister Iosenthal came in$ Fthe ones$ er$ yo" had b"ilt last
year.F
F1e4F as'ed 1ach9t in s"rprise. F,h$ yes$ yo"#re 2"ite right$ the ones ! had b"ilt
last year. b"t$ yo" see$ !#ve already given them away.F
&ondy loo'ed at him caref"lly) FWho did yo" give them to$ 1ach9t4F
1ister 1ach9t bl"shed slightly) FWell$ to the poor people$ yo" see. ! let some
poor people move in there. ! .. that is ... ! became convinced that ... well$ in short$ poor
people$ yo" see4F
1ister &ondy 'ept his eyes fi+ed on him li'e an e+amining magistrate) FWhy did
yo" do that 1ach9t4F
F! .. somehow ! 0"st had to$F said 1ach9t conf"sedly. F!t 0"st came to me. We
have to do as the saints do$ yo" see4F
he president dr"mmed his fingers nervo"sly on the table. FWhat abo"t yo"r
family$ 1ach9t4F
/ bea"tif"l smile came over 1ister 1ach9t#s face) F,h$ please "nderstand$ we#re
all in perfect agreement abo"t this. 7oor people are holy. -ome of them are ill$ and my
da"ghter is helping them$ yo" see4 We#ve all changed so m"ch of late.F
E.8. &ondy lowered his eyes. 1ach9t#s da"ghter 5len$ fair(haired 5len$ 5len
with seventy million in the ban'$ 5len was n"rsing the sic'G 5len who co"ld have been$
who sho"ld have been$ who had almost agreed to be 1rs. &ondyG &ondy bit his lips.
=ine state of affairs this wasG
F1ister 1ach9t$F he began with cho'ing voice $ Fall ! wanted to 'now was how
the heating is doing$ with the new carb"rator installed.F
F,h$ it#s wonderf"lG !t#s so lovely and warm in all those homesG !t#s as if they
were heated with eternal loveG 3o" see$F said 1ach9t with enth"siasm$ wiping his eyes$
Feveryone who goes in those flats is s"ddenly a 2"ite different person. !t#s 0"st li'e
paradise there. Life for "s there is li'e 8eaven$ all of "s. ,h$ 1ister &ondy$ do come
and 0oin "sGF
F-o yo" see$ gentlemen$F said &ondy$ str"ggling to control himself$ Fthe
carb"rators are operating 0"st as ! promised. Let "s now$ please$ have no more
2"estions.F
F/ll we want to 'now$F called o"t the belligerent Doctor 8"b'a$ Fis why o"r new
factory isn#t fitted o"t with carb"rator power. Why do we have to b"rn e+pensive coal
while we#re providing atomic energy for others4 Does the president intend to inform "s
of his reasons4F
F*o$ ! don#t intend to$F 1ister &ondy declared. Fhe factory will be powered by
coal. here are some facts that ! am aware of that mean carb"rator power wo"ld not be
s"itable for o"r man"fact"ring processes. /nd that$ gentlemen$ is eno"ghG ! consider this
whole affair a matter of confidence in myself.F
F!f only yo" 'new$F p"t in 1ister 1ach9t$ Fhow bea"tif"l it is to be in a state of
holinessG Eentlemen$ ! sincerely "rge yo". give away all yo"r belongingsG Noin the poor
and the holy$ reno"nce 1ammon and give yo"rselves over to the one EodGF
FWell$ now$ er$F began 1ister Iosenthal to soothe matters$ F1ister 1ach9t$ yo"
are$ erm$ a most gentle and admirable man$ mnye"$ yes$ most admirable. &"t$ er$ 1ister
&ondy$ ! have faith in yo"$ so$ erm$ this is what !$ er$ s"ggest. let me have one of these
carb"rators for my own central heatingG Eentlemen$ ! shall$ mnye"$ ! shall try it o"t$
shall !4 8ow abo"t that then4 8ow wo"ld$ mnye"$ how wo"ld that be$ 1ister &ondy4F
FWe are all brethren before Eod$F 1ach9t contin"ed$ his face aglow. FEentlemen$
let "s ma'e a gift of the factory to the poorG ! propose we rename 15/- and call it #he
Ieligio"s Comm"nity of the 8"mble 8eart#G We will be the tr"n' and roots ( yo" see4 (
the tr"n' and roots from which grows the tree of Eod. he 6ingdom of Eod here on
5arth.F
Fhere#s something !#d li'e to say$F sho"ted Doctor 8"b'a.
F1nye"$ yes$ er$ 1ister &ondy$F old Iosenthal res"med$ F!#m with yo" in this.
1nye"$ yes$ let me have one of these carb"rators$ 1ister &ondyGF
F=or Eod himself will come down to 5arth$F said 1ach9t$ getting more e+cited.
FListen to his word$ live simply as do the saints$ open yo"r hearts to eternity$ be absol"te
in yo"r loveG 3o" see$ gentlemen ..F
F! am entitled to spea' F growled Doctor 8"b'a.
FO"ietGF sho"ted the president$ his face pale and his eyes abla%e as he stood "p to
his f"ll height and showed the power of a man weighing a h"ndred 'ilos. FEentlemen$ if
a factory ma'ing carb"rators is not to yo"r taste ! can ta'e it into my own$ personal
hands. ! can pay yo" penny for penny for everything yo" have invested so far. ! will
bring my f"nction here to an end. Eentlemen$ that is all ! have to say. F
Doctor 8"b'a 0"mped "p) F&"t gentlemen$ ! protestG We all protestG ,"r share in
carb"rator prod"ction is not "p for saleG /n important prod"ct s"ch as this4 We won#t
allow yo" to bl"ster "s into giving "p something as profitable as thisG Eentlemen$ if yo"
please ...F
1ister &ondy rang the bell. F1y friends$F he said sadly$ Ffor the time being$ let
"s leave matters as they stand. ! get the impression that o"r friend$ 1ach9t$ is a little$ hm$
a little "nwell. /s far as the carb"rators are concerned$ ! can g"arantee yo" dividends of
a h"ndred and fifty percent. *ow ! s"ggest we bring this board meeting to an end.F
F/nd ! s"ggest$F anno"nced Doctor 8"b'a$ Fthat every member of this board
receives one of these carb"rators$ 0"st to try it o"t$ as it were.F
&ondy loo'ed at all the men sat aro"nd him. 8e p"rsed his lips$ was abo"t to say
something$ b"t then he shr"gged his sho"lders and thro"gh gritted teeth said merely$
FHery well.F
Chapter VII
Go on$
F8ow are we doing in London4F
F15/- shares at 1$CR0 yesterday. &efore that$ at R20.F
FHery good.F
FI"dolf 1are' named as honorary member of seventy respected societies. 8e#s
bo"nd to get the *obel 7ri%e.F
FHery good.F
F/ r"n of orders from Eermany. 1ore than five tho"sand carb"rators.F
F/ha.F
F*ine h"ndred orders from Napan.F
FWell ! neverGF
F!nterest from C%echoslova'ia is negligible. hree new orders.F
F8m. !t#s what yo"#d e+pect$ ! s"ppose. Diffic"lt times$ yo" seeGF
Fhe I"ssian government has ordered two h"ndred carb"rators$ immediate
delivery.F
FHery good. What#s that in total4F
Fhirteen tho"sand orders.F
FHery good. 8ow are we doing with constr"ction4F
Fhey#ve p"t the roof on the department for atomic cars now. he department for
atomic aeroplanes starts wor' in a wee'. We#re p"tting the basics together for atomic
locomotives. ,ne wing of the department for ship engines is already wor'ing.F
FWait. Let#s introd"ce a name s"ch as #atomobil#$ #atomotor#$ #atomotive#$
something li'e that. What#s 6rolm"s doing with the atomic cannons4F
F8e#s got a model "nder constr"ction at the fo"ndries. ,"r atomic cyclecar has
already done thirty tho"sand 'ilometers at the &r"ssels /"todrome. it#s been at speeds of
more than 2R0 an ho"r. !n the last two days we#ve had seventy tho"sand orders for the
half('ilogram atomotorbi'e.F
F3o" said 0"st now thirty tho"sand in total.F
Fhirty tho"sand static atomic boilers. 5ight tho"sand "nits for central heating.
*early ten tho"sand cars. -i+ h"ndred and twenty atomic aeroplanes. ,"r model / plane
flew from 7rag"e to 1elbo"rne non(stop. everyone on board in good health. 8ere#s the
report.F
he company president sat "p in his chair) FWhy$ this is wonderf"lGF
Fhere#ve been five tho"sand orders in the department for ind"strial machinery.
he department for small prop"lsion engines has had twenty(two tho"sand. / h"ndred
and fifty atomic p"mps. hree atomic presses. welve atomic locomotives$ incl"ding
some going to I"ssia. We#ve established offices in fo"r of the world#s eight main cities.
/merican -teel r"st$ /5E in &erlin$ =iat in !taly$ 1annesmann$ Cre"sot and a -wedish
steel wor's all want a merger with "s. /nd 6r"pp is b"ying all of o"r shares it can get$
whatever the price.F
F*ew share iss"es4F
F,ver s"bscribed by a factor of thirty(five. he press predict a s"per(divident of
two h"ndred percent. /nd what#s more$ the papers aren#t writing abo"t anything but o"r
affairs. social affairs$ politics$ sport$ technology$ science$ everything is abo"t the
carb"rator. ,"r man in Eermany has sent "s seven tonnes of c"ttings$ from =rance we#ve
got fo"r metric h"ndredweights$ from 5ngland a whole wagonload. !t#s estimated that the
specialist and scientific literat"re p"blished this year abo"t the atomic motor will weigh
abo"t seventy tons. he /nglo(Napanese war has been s"spended for lac' of p"blic
interest. !n 5ngland alone there are ?00$000 coalminers witho"t wor'. here have been
riots in the &elgian coalfields. abo"t fo"r tho"sand dead. 1ore than half the pits aro"nd
the world have stopped wor'. !n 7ennsylvania they#re b"rning off their e+cess stoc's$
and the fire#s still b"rning.F
Fhe fire#s still b"rning$F repeated &ondy dreamily. Fhe fire#s still b"rningG 1y
Eod$ we#ve won itGF
Fhe president of one mining company has shot himself. he stoc' mar'ets have
gone comepletely mad. We stood at B$000 in &erlin this morning. he cabinet has gone
into permanent session and wants to declare a state of emergency. 1ister &ondy$ this
isn#t 0"st an invention$ it#s a revol"tion.F
he company president and its general manager loo'ed at each other in silence.
*either one nor the other was a poet$ b"t at that moment their hearts were singing.
he general manager p"lled "p his chair and said in a whisper$ F1ister &ondy$
Iosenthal#s gone mad.F
FIosenthal4F e+claimed E.8. &ondy.
he manager gl"mly confirmed it. Fhey#ve made an orthodo+ New o"t of him.
8e#s practising alm"dic mysticism and Cabalism. 8e#s donated ten million to the
Uionists. he other day he had a terrible row with Doctor 8"b'a. 3o" see$ 8"b'a#s gone
and 0oined the &ohemian &rethren.F
F5ven 8"b'a now4GF
F3es. ! thin' it was 1ach9t who bro"ght all this in among the board members.
3o" weren#t at the last meeting$ 1ister &ondy. !t was awf"l. hey were all tal'ing abo"t
religion right thro"gh till the small ho"rs. 8"b'a s"ggested we sho"ld give o"r factories
to the wor'ers. =ort"nately$ they forgot to p"t that to a vote. hey all seemed to have
gone mad)F
1ister &ondy bit on his 'n"c'les. FWhat are we going to do with them4F
F8m$ nothing at all. !t#s 0"st a nervo"s time. -omething comes "p in the papers
now and then$ b"t they don#t connect it with the carb"rators. here#s been an awf"l lot of
incidents to do with religion$ and a psychic manifestion or something. ! saw Doctor
8"b'a in the street the other day. 8e was preaching to a crowd in front of a ban'$
something abo"t letting light into their hearts and preparing the way to Eod. /ll
hopelessly conf"sed. 8e even did a few miracles. =orst has gone the same way.
Iosenthal#s gone entirely crac'ers. 1iller$ 8omola and 6ol9tor came "p with the idea of
choosing poverty. We certainly can#t hold any more board meetings$ it#s li'e a madho"se.
3o"#ll have to r"n the whole thing personally.F
Fhis is awf"l$F said E.8. &ondy with a sigh.
F!t is. Did yo" hear abo"t C"'roban'4 !t too' hold of all their staff all at once.
hey opened the cash bo+es and gave the money away to anyone who came in. =inally
they too' piles of ban'notes made a bonfire of them o"tside the main entrance. Ieligio"s
bolshevism$ ! call it.F
FC"'roban'. Don#t they have one of o"r carb"rators4
Fhey do. =or the central heating. hey were the first to install one. !t#s been
closed down by the police now. !t had even ta'en hold of the chief cler's and
management.F
FWell then$ ! forbid the s"pply of carb"rators to any more ban's.F
FWhy#s that4F
F! forbid itG hat#s allG hey can heat their premises with coalGF
F!t#s a little too late for that. here are carb"rators being installed in all the ban's.
We#re c"rrently setting them "p in parliament and all the government ministries. he
central carb"rator for 7rag"e is all set to start providing the lighting for the whole city.
!t#s a wonderf"l$ colossal machine$ fifty 'ilos. hey#re holding a celebratory ina"g"ration
of it in two days# time$ at si+ o#cloc'. 8eads of state will be there$ mayors$ city
co"ncillors and representatives of 15/-. 3o"#ll have to come along to it. 3o"
especially.F
FEod forbidGF e+claimed &ondy in alarm. F*o$ noG Eod save me from thatG !
won#t go.F
F3o" will have to go$ 1ister &ondy. We can#t send Iosenthal or 8"b'a in yo"r
place. hey#ve gone raving made. !f they gave a speech it wo"ld be horrifying. !t#s a
matter of the company#s hono"r. he mayor of 7rag"e has prepared a speech in praise of
what we do. Iepresentatives of foreign states and foreign press will be there. / great
celebration. /s soon as the lights come on in the streets a military band will start "p and
play fanfares and entrades for everyone$ 8lahol will be there to sing$ 6JQV'ovs'<$
e+perimental theatre companies$ firewor's$ a h"ndred and one g"n sal"te$ lights shone on
the castle and ! don#t 'now what else. 1ister &ondy$ yo"#ve simply got to be there.F
E.8. &ondy stood there in a state of ang"ish. F1y Eod$ oh my Eod$F he
m"ttered$ Fta'e this chalice away from me ...F
FWell are yo" going to come then4F the general manager insisted.
F1y Eod$ my Eod$ why have yo" forsa'en me4F
Chapter VIII
%n the &redger
1otionless in the evening twilight lay dredger n"mber 152B near the village of
WtXchovice. !ts paternoster shovels had long since stopped lifting the cold sand "p from
the bed of the Iiver Hltava. the evening was warm and witho"t wind$ the air was filled
with the scent of c"t hay and the breath of the woods. / sweet orange light still shone
from the north west. 8ere and there the ripples on the water glittered as they reflected the
light of Eod#s 8eaven. they spar'led$ they whispered and they shone with nat"ral
l"minscence as they flowed downstream.
/ boat came o"t from the village and towards the dredger. !t moved slowly
against the c"rrent$ blac' against the l"minosity of the river li'e a water beetle.
Fhere#s somebody coming$F called o"t 6"%enda$ the diver$ contentedly from
where he sat in the stern.
Fwo$F replied the engineer$ &rych$ after a while.
F! 'now who that is$F said 1ister 6"%enda.
F/ pair of yo"ng lovers from the village$F said 1ister &rych.
F!#d better go and p"t the 'ettle on for them$F 1ister 6"%enda decided$ and he
went below.
FWell now$ childrenGF 1ister &rych called o"t to the boat. Fo the left$ the left.
Eive me yo"r hand$ miss$ yes. ;p yo" comeGF
FNoe and me$F the girl declared when she was on dec'$ Fwe ... we 0"st wanted ...F
FEood evening$F the yo"ng wor'er greeted him as he came "p after her. FWhere#s
1ister 6"%enda gone4F
F1ister 6"%enda#s 0"st gone to ma'e some coffee$F said the engineer. F-it down.
,h loo'$ there#s someone else coming. !s that yo"$ ba'er4F
F3es$ it#s me$F a voice replied. FEood evening 1ister &rych. !#ve bro"ght the
postman and the game('eeper o"t to meet yo".F
FCome on board$ brothers$F said 1ister &rych. F,nce 1ister 6"%enda#s finished
ma'ing the coffee we can start. !s there anyone else coming4F
F! am$F a voice came "p from the side of the dredger. F1ister 8"dec. !#d li'e to
come and hear yo".F
FWelcome$ 1ister 8"dec$F the engineer called down to him. FCome on "p$ here#s
the ladder. Let me sha'e yo"r hand$ 1ister 8"dec$ yo" haven#t been here before.F
F1ister &rych$F three people called o"t from the shore$ Fcan yo" send a boat o"t
here for "s4 We#d li'e to come and 0oin yo".F
FCan yo" go and get them$ 1ister 8"dec4F he called down. F5veryone sho"ld be
able to hear the word of Eod. -it down where yo" can$ brothers and sisters. !t isn#t dirty$
not since we#ve been "sing the carb"rator. &rother 6"%enda will bring some coffee and
then we can start. Welcome$ yo"ng people. Come "p on board.F hen 1ister &rych
went to the opening where a ladder led down to the inside of the dredger. F8allo$
6"%enda$ ten people on board now.F
F=ineGF 1ister 6"%enda replied from the depths of his beard. F&e "p with the
coffee soon.F
F-o$ sit down everyone$F he said eagerly as he t"rned bac' to them. FWe haven#t
got anything more than coffee to offer yo"$ 1ister 8"dec. ! hope yo" don#t mind.F
F*ot at all$F retorted 1ister 8"dec. F! only came here to see yo"r ... yo"r .. yo"r
session.F
F,"r religio"s service$F &rych gently corrected him. FWe#re all brothers here$ yo"
see. ! s"ppose !#d better tell yo" that ! "sed to be an alcoholic and 6"%enda was involved
in politics before the grace of Eod came on "s. /nd these other brothers and sisters$F he
contin"ed as he gest"red to the others$ Fcome to "s each evening to pray that they$ too$
might receive the same gift of the spirit. he ba'er here s"ffered from asthma "ntil
1ister 6"%enda healed him. ell "s what it was li'e$ ba'er.F
F6"%enda p"t his hands on me$F said the ba'er with 2"iet enth"siasm$ Fand a 'ind
of warmth s"ddenly flowed "p and aro"nd in my chest. -omething in me s"ddenly
snapped$ and ! began to breathe freely as if ! was flying in 8eaven itself.F
F8old on a min"te$F &rych corrected him. F6"%enda didn#t p"t his hands on yo".
8e didn#t even 'now he was going to wor' a miracle. /ll he did was reach his hand o"t
to yo" and yo" said yo" co"ld breathe. hat#s what happened.F
FWe were there$F the girl from the village told them. Fhe ba'er$ he had light
shining all ro"nd his head. /nd then 1ister 6"%enda made my & go away$ didn#t he
Noe.F
Fhat#s all completely tr"e$ 1ister 8"dec$F said the lad. F&"t what happened to
me was even stranger. ! didn#t "se to be a very nice person yo" see$ 1ister 8"dec. !#ve
even been in prison for stealing things$ and for something else too. 1ister &rych here
can tell yo" all abo"t it.F
F!t was nothing$F said &rych with a wave of his hand. Fhe Erace of Eod came
"pon yo"$ that#s all. &"t there are some very strange things that happen here$ 1ister
8"dec. ! e+pect yo" can feel it yo"rself. &rother 6"%enda can tell yo" abo"t that$ as he
was the first to go to a meeting. Loo'$ here he is now.F
5veryone t"rned to loo' at the hatchway that led from the dec' down into the
engine room. / bearded face appeared bearing a forced$ embarrassed smile$ li'e someone
who has been shoved from behind and wants to pretend nothing has happened. ,nly the
"pper half of 6"%enda co"ld be seen so far. !n his hands was a large sheet of metal
carrying c"ps and tins of mil'. 8e grinned "ncertainly$ and contin"ed to rise. 8is feet
now co"ld be seen at the level of the dec' and he still contin"ed to rise$ c"ps and all. 8e
did not stop "ntil he hovered half a meter above the hatchway$ his feet paddling the air
altho"gh he clearly wished they were on firm gro"nd.
1ister 8"dec tho"ght he m"st be dreaming. FWhat#s happened to yo"$ 1ister
6"%enda4F he e+claimed$ almost in a panic.
F*othing$ nothing$F 6"%enda e+c"sed himself$ still trying to find firm air to stand
on. 1ister 8"dec was reminded of a pict"re of the /scension that had h"ng over his bed
when he was a child. in that pict"re$ Christ and the apostles h"ng in the air$ paddling their
feet in e+actly the same way$ altho"gh the e+pressions on their faces had not been so
an+io"s.
1ister 6"%enda s"ddenly started moving forward over the dec'. 8e floated$ and
floated thro"gh the evening air as if carried by a gentle bree%e. briefly he raised his leg as
if wanting to ta'e a step forward$ and he was clearly worried abo"t the c"ps he was
carrying. F7lease$ ta'e this tray from me$F he "rged. &rych$ the engineer$ raised both his
hands and too' the metal sheet bearing the c"ps of coffee. hen 6"%enda let his legs
hang down$ crossed his arms and h"ng there witho"t moving. With his head slightly to
one side he said$ FWelcome$ brothers. Don#t let it worry yo" that !#m flying li'e this. !t#s
only a sign. 7erhaps yo"#d li'e this c"p$ miss$ the one with the flowers on it.F
&rych handed ro"nd the c"ps and offered the tinned mil'. *obody dared spea'.
those who had not been there before stared in2"isitively at 6"%enda as he hovered in the
air$ older g"ests sipped patiently at their coffee and between each mo"thf"l it was as if
they were praying.
F=inished yo"r coffee yet4F as'ed 6"%enda after a pa"se$ and he opened wide his
pale$ enrapt"red eyes. F!#ll start then.F 8e cleared his throat$ tho"ght for a little while$
and began) F!n the name of the =atherG &rothers and sisters$ we#ve come together for this
religio"s meeting on the dredger$ where the gift of grace is made manifest. here#s no
need for me to send anyone away who doesn#t believe$ or who#s come to la"gh at "s and
thin' he#s being witty. 1ister 8"dec came here as a non(believer$ and the game('eeper
came e+pecting to have some f"n. 3o"#re both very welcome$ b"t yo" o"ght to be aware
that the gift of grace means ! 'now one or two things abo"t yo". ! 'now for instance that
yo" li'e getting dr"n'$ game('eeper$ and yo" chase poor people away o"t of the wood
and yo" sho"t ins"lts at them when there#s no need for any of that. -top doing it. /nd
1ister 8"dec$ yo"#re an accomplished thief ( well yo" 'now what ! thin' abo"t that ( and
yo" get cross with people m"ch more 2"ic'ly than yo" sho"ld do. =aith will correct yo"
and save yo".F
/ deep silence reigned on the dec'. 1ister 8"dec stared firmly at the gro"nd.
he game('eeper shed a tear$ sniffled$ and$ with a trembling hand$ reached into his
poc'et.
F! realise yo"#d li'e to have a smo'e$ now$F said 6"%enda gently$ still floating in
the air. FLight "p if yo" want to. N"st ma'e yo"rself at home.F
F=ish$F whispered the girl$ pointing down at the s"rface of the river. FLoo' Noe$
even the carp have come to listenF
Fhey#re not carp$F the blessed 6"%enda told her. Fhey#re r"ffes$ a 'ind of perch.
1ister 8"dec$ yo" don#t need to s"ffer for yo"r sins. Loo' at me) ! didn#t care abo"t
anything b"t politics$ and$ believe me$ even that is sin of a sort. /nd game('eeper$ don#t
cry$ ! didn#t mean to be nasty. ,nce anyone#s got the gift of grace he can see right
thro"gh people. 3o" can see right down into people#s so"ls$ can#t yo" &rych.F
F! can$F 1ister &rych confirmed. Fhe postman here$ he#s wondering 0"st now if
yo" co"ld help his little da"ghter too. -he#s getting baptised. hat#s right$ isn#t it4 /nd
1ister 6"%enda will help her if yo" bring her here.F
F-"perstition$ they call it$F said 6"%enda. F&rothers$ if anyone had told me abo"t
miracle wor'ing or abo"t Eod when ! was li'e ! "sed to be !#d have la"ghed in their face.
hat#s how corr"pt ! was. hen we got this new engine here on the dredger$ the one that
r"ns witho"t needing sto'ing all the time$ and all o"r dirty wor' came to an end. 3es$
1ister 8"dec$ that was the first miracle that happened here$ the carb"rator does
everything all by itself$ li'e a thin'ing being. 5ven the dredger does everything by itself$
it 'nows where it#s to go to$ and 0"st yo" loo' how it#s staying in one place now. Loo' at
the anchors$ 1ister 8"dec$ they#re not even in the water. he dredger 0"st stays in one
place witho"t anchors and then it moves along when it needs to dredge another bit of the
river bed. !t starts wor' by itself$ and it stops wor' by itself. 1ister &rych and me$ we
don#t need to lift a finger. /nd yo" can#t tell me that#s not a miracle. When we saw what
was happening it got "s thin'ing$ and then it became clear to "s. he dredger is divine$
it#s an iron ch"rch$ and we#re only here as its priests. !f the Lord Eod "sed to appear in
spring water$ or in a grove of oa' trees li'e the Eree's had$ or sometimes in a woman$
why sho"ldn#t 8e appear on a dredger4 Why on 5arth wo"ld he have any aversion to
something 0"st beca"se it#s a machine4 / machine can sometimes be p"rer than a n"n$
and &rych 'eeps this machine polished "p li'e something yo"#d p"t on yo"r sideboard.
&"t that#s by the by. /nd 0"st so as yo" 'now$ Eod isn#t infinite li'e the Catholics say.
8e#s abo"t si+ h"ndred meters wide and 8e gets wea'er near the edges. he strongest
place is here on the dredger. !t#s here that 8e does his miracles$ b"t on the ban' he only
gives second(sight and conversions to the faith. !n the village$ when the wind#s in the
right direction$ yo" can only smell him li'e a 'ind of holy scent. ,ne time some boats
from the rowing cl"b came by$ and all of the rowers were given the gift of grace. hat#s
how powerf"l it it. /nd what Eod wants of "s$ that#s something yo" can only feel here$
inside$F preached 6"%enda$ pointing to his heart. F! 'now 8e can#t stand politics or
money$ reason or pride or social climbing. and ! 'now 8e loves people and animals$ that
8e#s very glad to see yo" all here$ and he li'es to see good acts. 8e#s a real democrat$
brothers. !f we can#t ( that is$ &rych and me ( if we don#t spend o"r money on coffee for
everyone then every penny we have b"rns "s in o"r poc'ets. ,ne day$ a -"nday it was$
there was a co"ple of h"ndred people here$ sitting on both ban's they were$ and what do
yo" thin'4 hat coffee increased in 2"antity so that there was eno"gh for everyone$ and
what coffee it wasG &"t all these things are 0"st signs$ brothers. he greatest miracle of
all is the infl"ence 8e has on how we feel. !t#s s"ch a wonderf"l feeling it ma'es yo"
sh"dder. -ometimes yo" seem to have so m"ch love and happiness in yo" yo" thin'
yo"#re going to die$ it#s as if yo" were at one with that water down there$ and with all the
animals and the earth and the stones$ or it#s as if yo" were being held in some magnificent
embrace. well$ ! can never really tell yo" what it#s li'e. 5verything aro"nd yo" is singing
and sho"ting$ yo" "nderstand everything witho"t words$ the water and the wind$ yo" can
see right inside everything aro"nd yo"$ how they#re all connected with each other and
with yo"$ everything all and at once$ yo" "nderstand it all better than if yo" had it down
in blac' and white. -ometimes it comes over yo" li'e a fit$ yo" almost thin' yo" m"st be
foaming at the mo"th. b"t other times$ it comes on yo" slowly and creeps grad"ally till
it#s penetrated into yo"r tiniest veins. &rothers and sister$ there#s nothing to be afraid of$
b"t there#s a boat coming here with two policemen in it. hey want to ma'e "s disperse
beca"se this meeting hasn#t been given official approval. &"t 0"st wait$ 0"st be patient
and tr"st in the god of the dredger.F
!t was already dar'$ b"t the whole dec' of the dredger and all the faces of the
people on it shone with a gentle glow. Down on the water the oars of a boat co"ld be
heard as they so"ghed thro"gh the water and came to a halt. F8ello$F a man#s voice
sho"ted "p at them$ Fis there a 1ister 6"%enda there4F
F8ere ! am$F said 6"%enda in a voice li'e a cher"b. FN"st come "p on board$
brothers. ! already 'now that the landlord in the village told the police abo"t me.F
he two policemen climbed "p onto the dredger#s dec'. FWhich of yo" is
6"%enda4F the sergeant as'ed.
F!#m 6"%enda$ officer$F he said$ as he floated "p higher above the dec'. F7lease$
come "p here and 0oin me.F
he two policemen promptly rose into the air to where 6"%enda hovered. heir
feet paddled the air in vain for some 'ind of firm s"pport$ their hands grasped at the
empty air$ their an+io"s gasps co"ld be heard by all.
FDon#t be afraid$ officers$F 6"%enda genero"sly reass"red them$ F0oin with me in
prayer) Dear =ather Eod$ who has come to be present in this ship ...F
FDear =ather Eod$ who has come to be present in this ship$F the sergeant repeated
in a strang"lated voice.
FDear =ather Eod$ who has come to be present in this ship $F h"rriedly 0oined in
1ister 8"dec$ as he threw himself down on his 'nees$ and a choir of voices on the dec'
of the dredger all 0oined in.
Chapter I'
A Celebration
Cyril 6:val$ 7rag"e reporter for an important newspaper$ 0"mped into a ta+i and
h"rried off to Wtvanice ( even tho"gh it was past si+ in the evening ( where the grand
opening of the new Central 5lectricity Carb"rator was to ta'e place. he new carb"rator
was to power the whole of the 7rag"e region$ and there was a dense crowd of onloo'ers$
even penetrating the three(deep line of policemen and reaching the walls of the little
concrete b"ilding h"ng with flags. =rom inside$ the swearing of the wor'men co"ld be
heard as ( needless to say ( they were behind sched"le and now were in a r"sh to get the
installation ready on time. he whole b"ilding was no bigger than a p"blic toilet.
/nother newspaper man$ old 1ister AvanPara from a little nearby town ambled past lost
in tho"ght$ loo'ing somewhat li'e a heron deep in philosophy.
When 1ister AvanPara saw his yo"nger colleag"e he gave him a friendly
greeting. F3o" can be s"re something is going to happen here today$ 1ister 6:val. !#ve
never yet seen a parade li'e this where someone didn#t do something st"pid$ and that#s
over forty years# e+perience of them.F
F!sn#t this ama%ing4F answered 6:val. F/ little b"ilding li'e this$ and it#ll be
lighting the whole of 7rag"e and powering all the trams and trains within seventy
'ilometers and tho"sands of factories and ... F
he s'eptical 1ister AvanPara shoo' his head. FWe shall see$ my friend$ we shall
see. FWhen yo"#re as old as ! am there#s not m"ch left to s"rprise yo") b"t ... F and here
1ister AvanPara lowered his voice to a whisper$ Fperhaps yo" haven#t noticed$ b"t
nobody has tho"ght to b"ild a reserve carb"rator. !f this one brea's down or$ perhaps$
somebody blows it "p then$ er$ do yo" "nderstand my point4F
6:val felt ashamed that he had not tho"ght of this point himself. F&"t that#s o"t
of the 2"estion$F he began to ob0ect. F!#ve been reliably informed that this generator is
only a decoy. he real generator is really in .. in ... F his voice dropped to a whisper as he
pointed "ndergro"nd. F!#m not at liberty to tell yo" e+actly where$ b"t yo" may have
noticed that they#ve been replacing a lot of the pavements in 7rag"e lately.F
Fhey#ve been doing that for the past forty years$F said 1ister AvanPara
tho"ghtf"lly.
F3es$ e+actlyGF retorted Cyril 6:val tri"mphantly. F1ilitary p"rposes$ yo" seeG
/n enormo"s system of "ndergro"nd passageways. -torerooms$ armo"ries$ all that sort
of thing. 1y informants are very precise on this matter. here are si+teen strongrooms
holding "ndergro"nd carb"rators all ro"nd the city. *ot a sign of them above gro"nd$ all
yo" see are football gro"nds$ lemonade stalls$ a mon"ment to some patriot b"t$ ha ha$
beginning to see what ! mean$ are yo"4 Why do yo" thin' they#ve been p"tting "p so
many of these mon"ments4F
F3o"ng man$F 1ister AvanPara ob0ected$ Fwhat does the yo"ng generation 'now
abo"t war4G here#s a thing or two that we co"ld tell yo". /h$ here comes the mayor.F
Fhe new minister of war$ too. here$ yo" see4 ! told yo". he technical
director. he managing director of 15/-. he chief rabbi.F
Fhe =rench ambassador. he minister for p"blic wor's. 7erhaps it#s time for "s
to go inside. he archbishop. he !talian ambassador. he spea'er of the "pper ho"se.
he head of the national sports association. 3o" see$ my friend$ there#s nobody they#ve
left o"t.F
N"st then$ Cyril 6:val allowed a lady to step in front of him$ separating him both
from the senior 0o"rnalist and from the crowd of invited personalities contin"o"sly
flowing in at the entrance. hen the national anthem was heard$ an order was given to the
g"ard of hono"r$ and the head of state appeared accompanied by men in top hats and
"niforms as he went "p the red carpet into the concrete str"ct"re. 1ister 6:val stood on
tiptoe$ c"rsing the gallantry he had shown to that lady and aware that now he had no
chance of entering the b"ilding. AvanPara was right$ he tho"ght$ there#s always someone
who does something st"pid) how co"ld an opening ceremony as big as this fit into s"ch a
small b"ilding4 -o he wo"ld report the speeches to the news agency and the rest he#d 0"st
have to ma'e "p) to"ching moment$ great progress$ spontaneo"s ovation for the head of
state ...
!nside the b"ilding everything s"ddenly went 2"iet$ and somebody began to recite
the celebratory speech. 1ister 6:val yawned and$ his hands in his poc'ets$ wal'ed all
ro"nd the little b"ilding. !t was getting dar'. he policemen were wearing white gloves
and carried ceremonial batons. here was a press of people on the ban's of the river.
he speech went on too long$ as always. Who was even giving it4
hen 6:val saw a little window$ abo"t two meters above the gro"nd$ in the
concrete wall of the generator b"ilding. 8e did not hesitate$ b"t 0"mped "p$ ca"ght hold
of the iron bars and pressed his clever face in at the window. /h$ so it was the mayor of
Ereater 7rag"e who was spea'ing$ his face as red as a roast pig) ne+t to him stood E.8.
&ondy$ the president of 15/-$ his lips pressed tightly together. he head of state had his
hand on the lever ready to start the machine as soon as the signal was given) at that
moment the whole of 7rag"e wo"ld be lit "p by the new generator$ celebratory m"sic
wo"ld ring o"t and firewor's wo"ld shoot into the s'y. he minister for p"blic wor's
fidgeted in irritation) it wo"ld clearly be his t"rn to spea' once the mayor had finished. /
0"nior army officer p"lled at his mo"stache$ ambassadors pretended to be giving devoted
attention to the speech of which they "nderstood not a word$ two delegates from the trade
"nions didn#t even blin'. !n short$ everything was going smoothly tho"ght 1ister 6:val
as he 0"mped down from the window.
-o he wal'ed ro"nd the streets for a while$ came bac' to the generator and
0"mped bac' "p at the window. he mayor was still spea'ing. When 6:val listened hard
he co"ld hear$ F... at this point in the history of o"r nation ...F$ so he 2"ic'ly 0"mped bac'
down$ fo"nd a place to sit down and lit himself a cigarette. !t was already 2"ite dar'.
/bove him the stars spar'led between the branches of the trees) ! wonder why the stars
didn#t wait till the head of state p"lled the lever before lighting "p$ he tho"ght. /part from
the stars$ 7rag"e was dar'. he Iiver Hltava flowed thro"gh the blac'ness with no glitter
of lamplight to reflect on its waters) everything lay in anticipation of the festive moment
when the lights wo"ld come on. ,nce 6:val had finished his cigarette he went bac' to
the generator and p"lled himself bac' "p at the window. he mayor was still spea'ing$
and his face was now so p"rple it was almost blac') the head of state stood with his hand
on the lever$ all the personages present were tal'ing 2"ietly among themselves$ and only
the foreign ambassadors were listening motionless. Iight at the bac' of the room 6:val
co"ld see the head of 1ister AvanPara swaying "ncertainly on his sho"lders.
7hysically "nable to go on any longer$ the mayor finished his speech) his position
was ta'en by the minister for p"blic wor's$ and it co"ld be seen that he was tr"ncating his
sentences to ma'e his own speech as short as possible. he head of state too' hold of the
lever in his left hand. ,ld &illington$ doyen of the diplomatic corps$ died on his feet b"t$
even in death$ contin"ed to give the impression of giving close attention. he minister
finished his speech abr"ptly.
E.8. &ondy lifted his head$ he loo'ed gloomily ro"nd the room and said a few
words) clearly something abo"t 15/- dedicating its wor' to the p"blic for the good of
the city and that was it. he head of state stood "pright and p"lled the lever. he whole
of 7rag"e was lit "p with bo"ndless light$ the crowd cheered$ all the bells in all the
ch"rches rang o"t and the cannons in the fort th"ndered. 6:val loo'ed ro"nd from the
bars of the window he was hanging on to and viewed the city. =rom -tJelec'< !sland in
the Hltava$ roc'ets shot into the air and spar'led$ 8radPany$ 7etJQn and Letn9 all shone
with garlands of light b"lbs$ in the distance m"sic co"ld 0"st be heard$ above him circled
ill"minated biplanes$ an enormo"s car passed by h"ng with Chinese lanterns) the crowd
too' off their hats$ policemen raised their hands to their helmets as still as stat"es) two
batteries of g"ns were now firing sal"tes from the fort$ followed soon after by a reply
from 6arlQn. 6:val pressed his face bac' to the window to see the concl"sion of the
ceremonies aro"nd the carb"rator$ b"t when he did so he boggled at what he saw and
sho"ted in alarm. =irst "nable to t"rn away from the window he said something li'e F,h
EodF$ b"t then somebody r"nning away from what he had seen 'noc'ed into him as he
fled so that 6:val let go of the bars and fell heavily to the gro"nd. 6:val ca"ght hold of
his coat before he co"ld get away and the man loo'ed ro"nd. !t was E.8. &ondy$ and his
face was deathly pale.
FWhat#s happened4F 0abbered 6:val. FWhat#s going on in there4F
FLet go of me$F gasped &ondy$ Ffor Eod#s sa'e let go of meG Eet yo"rself o"t of
here.F
F&"t what#s happened in there4F
FLet go of me$F sho"ted &ondy as he 'noc'ed 6:val bac' with his fist and
disappeared between the trees.
-omewhat sha'en$ 6:val leant against the tr"n' of one of them. here seemed to
be some 'ind of barbaric chanting coming from inside the concrete b"ilding.
/ few days later the papers bore this vag"e anno"ncement) FContrary to reports in
one C%ech newspaper and repeated abroad$ we have been reliably informed that no
"ntoward events occ"rred at the festive ina"g"ration of the Central Carb"rator in 7rag"e.
!n connection with these events the mayor of Ereater 7rag"e has closed his office and is
receiving medical treatment$ b"t 1ister &illington$ on the other hand$ is alive and active.
he tr"th of the matter is that all present declared they had never before e+perienced
anything as powerf"l as this. !t is the right of every citi%en to fall to his 'nees in praise of
Eod$ and in a democratic state there is no official restriction on the performance of
miracles. !t is certainly most inappropriate to s"ppose the head of state was involved in
any way with these regretable events which were merely the res"lt of inade2"ate
ventilation and nervo"s strain.F
Chapter '
The lessed "len
-ome days after these events E.8. &ondy was wandering ro"nd the streets of
7rag"e$ a cigar between his teeth$ and thin'ing. /nyone who saw him wo"ld have
s"pposed he was loo'ing at the pavement) b"t 1ister &ondy was loo'ing into the f"t"re.
1are' was right$ he told himself. /nd that &ishop Linda was even more right. !t simply
wasn#t possibly to bring Eod to 5arth witho"t enormo"s conse2"ences$ whatever anyone
does$ whatever they thin'. /nd this will have serio"s effects on the ban'ing system$ the
Devil 'nows what effect that might have on ind"stry. here was another religio"s stri'e
at one of the ma0or ban's today) we installed a carb"rator and two days later the wor'ers
declared that all the ban'#s f"nds belonged to the poor. hat wo"ld never have happened
in 7reiss#s day. *o$ that wo"ld certainly never have happened.
&ondy drew an+io"sly on his cigar. -o what$ he as'ed himself$ are we s"pposed
to do abo"t all this4 oday$ orders reached twenty(three million. We can#t stop it now.
!t#s going to lead to the end of the world or something. !n a co"ple of years everything
will be in a terrible mess.
here are a few tho"sand carb"rators operating aro"nd the world now$ and each
one of them is ch"c'ing o"t the /bsol"te day and night. /nd the intelligence of this
/bsol"te is ama%ing. he way it always wants to do wor' is insane. Well$ it#s had
nothing to do$ ! s"ppose$ it was idle for tho"sands of years and now we#ve let it off its
chain. Li'e what it did at the ban'. Does the boo's all by itself$ does the acco"nts$ deals
with the correspondence. Eives orders$ in writing$ to the management. Writes fiery
letters to the contractors abo"t the wor'ings of love. -o now the ban'#s shares aren#t
worth the paper they#re written on) a tho"sand for a piece of smelly cheese. hat#s what
happens when yo" let Eod got involved in ban'ing.
here#s a te+tiles factory that 'eeps bombarding "s with desperate messages. /
month ago they replaced their boiler with a carb"rator) alright$ the machine#s r"nning
well. &"t all of a s"dden the spinning machines and looms started wor'ing by
themselves. !f a thread brea's it mends itself and the machine carries on. he wor'ers
0"st loo' on with their hands in their poc'ets. Wor' is s"pposed to end at si+ o#cloc'$ and
the spinners and weavers go home$ b"t the looms contin"e to r"n all by themselves all
night$ all day$ three wee's so far$ they 0"st weave and weave and weave witho"t ever
stopping. he firm writes to "s) for Eod#s sa'e$ ta'e o"r prod"cts$ send more raw
materials$ stop the machinesG *ow the same thing#s happened to &"+ba"m#s$ 1orawit%$
and other companies$ they#ve been infected at a distance. hey#ve got no more materials
on site) in panic they#re ch"c'ing rags and straw and m"d and anything else they can get
hold of into the spinning machine) and now$ believe it or not$ the machines are weaving
'ilometers of towelling and calico and anything else yo" can thin' of even o"t of this.
!t#s ca"sing a 8ell of a row) te+tile prices have collapsed) 5ngland has raised import
d"ties) neighbo"ring states have threatened a boycott. /nd the factories are complaining)
for Eod#s sa'e$ please 0"st ta'e o"r prod"ctsG a'e them anywhere$ send people here$
waggons$ trains$ stop the machinesG /nd then they s"e yo" for loss of profits. Damn itG
/nd reports li'e this come in from everywhere where we#ve installed carb"rators. he
/bsol"te wants wor'. !t has a l"st for life. !n the beginning it made the world) now it#s
thrown itself into man"fact"ring. !t#s ta'en over cities and factories all over the co"ntry$
cotton wor's$ sawmills$ s"gar refineries$ breweries) even W'oda#s "nder threat) it#s
wor'ing the "rani"m mines. !n some places they#re ma'ing wor'ers red"dant) in others
they#re loc'ing the doors of the factories$ saying they#ll let them r"n behind loc'ed doors.
,ver(prod"ction is cra%y. /ny factory that doesn#t have the /bsol"te is closing down.
!t#s a revol"tion.
/nd !$ 1ister &ondy said to himself$ !#m a patriot. ! can#t see o"r homeland fall
into r"in) if only beca"se this is where o"r own factories are. Iight then$ no more orders
accepted for C%echoslova'ia. What#s done is done$ b"t from now on there will be no
more carb"rators installed in C%ech lands$ not one. We can flood the =rench and
Eermans with them) and then we can bombard 5ngland with them. 5ngland is
conservative$ they 'eep o"r carb"rators o"t) we#ll have to drop them on 5ngland from
aeroplanes li'e great big bombs. We can infect the whole ind"strial and financial world
with Eod and 0"st leave o"rselves as an island of honest labo"r$ free of the effects of Eod.
!t#s o"r patriotic d"ty$ if ! can p"t it li'e that$ and what#s more$ it affects o"r own factories.
E.8. &ondy#s mood was lifted by this prospect. We will at least b"y time to
invent some 'ind of mas' to protect "s from the /bsol"te. Devil ta'e it$ !#ll set aside
three million for research into protection from Eod. wo million$ let#s say$ for the time
being. 5veryone in C%ech land will wal' abo"t with mas's on their face and everyone
else$ ha ha$ meantime everyone else can drown in Eod. !t#ll destroy their ind"stry if
nothing else.
!t seemed to 1ister &ondy that everything was loo'ing brighter. 8e noticed a
yo"ng woman wal'ing in front of him) her movements were fl"id and rather pleasing. !
wonder what she loo's li'e from the front. 1ister &ondy 2"ic'ened his step$ overtoo'
her and s"ddenly t"rned in a respectf"l c"rve) b"t he clearly tho"ght immediately better
of it and t"rned on his heel so 2"ic'ly that he nearly hit her on the nose.
F5len$ it#s yo"$F he sp"ttered. F! had no idea yo" ... yo" ...F
F! 'new yo" were behind me$F said the girl with her eyes lowered as she stopped.
F3o" already 'new it4F said &ondy$ pleased at the news. F! was 0"st thin'ing
abo"t yo".F
F! co"ld feel yo"r animal desire$F said 5len 2"ietly.
F1y what4F
F3o"r animal desire. 3o" didn#t 'now who ! was. 3o" were merely groping at me
with yo" eyes$ as if !#d been for sale.F
E.8. &ondy became serio"s. F5len$ why do yo" want to ins"lt me4F
5len shoo' her head. Fhey all do it. /ll of them. hey#re all the same. !t#s so
rare to find someone whose eyes are p"re.F
1ister &ondy p"rsed his lips as if to whistle. /h$ here we go) old 1ach9t#s
religio"s comm"nity.
F3es$F 5len answered his tho"ght. F3o" sho"ld come and 0oin "s.F
F,h$ yes$ co"rse ! sho"ldGF 1ister &ondy declared$ and as he did so he tho"ght
what a pity it was$ s"ch a nice girl.
FWhy is it a pity4F as'ed 5len gently.
F5len$ listen$F &ondy protested$ Fyo"#re reading my tho"ghts. hat#s not fair. !f
people co"ld read each other#s tho"ghts they co"ldn#t be polite to each other. his is
indiscreet of yo" to 'now what !#m thin'ing.F
FWhat am ! s"pposed to do then4F as'ed 5len. F5veryone who 'nows Eod has
this gift) each of yo"r tho"ghts is tho"ght by me at the same time) !#m not reading them$
!#m having them myself. !f yo" only 'new how it cleanses yo" if yo" can 0"dge every
hidden depravityGF
F8m$F 1ister &ondy retorted$ sha'ing with the effort not to thin' anything.
F,f co"rse it does$F 5len ass"red him. FWith the help of Eod it c"red me of the
love of money. !#d be very glad if yo" were helped too.F
FEod forbid$F said E.8. &ondy in some alarm. F&"t tell me$ do yo" "nderstand
everything yo"$ er$ that yo" see in people in this way4F
F3es$ perfectly.F
F5len$ listen$F said &ondy$ F! can tell yo" everything) yo"#d read it in my tho"ghts
anyway. ! co"ld never marry a woman who co"ld read my tho"ghts. -he co"ld be as
holy as she li'es) she co"ld give as m"ch charity to the poor as she li'es$ ! earn eno"gh
for that and it gives a good impression. ! co"ld even stand her being virt"o"s$ 5len$ if
only beca"se of ! love yo" so m"ch. ! co"ld stand anything. ! loved yo" in my way$
5len. !#m telling yo" this beca"se yo" can read it anyway. 5len$ b"siness is impossible
witho"t private tho"ghts$ society co"ldn#t f"nction. /nd above all$ marriage co"ldn#t
f"nction witho"t private tho"ghts. 5len$ it#s o"t of the 2"estion. /nd if yo" ever find a
man who#s the holiest man in the world don#t marry him if yo" can read his tho"ghts. /
little deceit here and there is the only thing yo" can depend on to hold two people
together. 5len$ holy 5len$ never get married.F
FWhy not4F holy 5len as'ed sweetly. FF,"r Eod has nothing against nat"re. 8e
only sanctifies it. 8e doesn#t as' "s to have no feelings. 8e tells "s to go forth and be
fr"itf"l. 8e wants "s to ... F
F7rr$F 1ister &ondy interr"pted her. Fhis Eod of yo"rs doesn#t "nderstand. !f
8e stops "s deceiving one(another 8e#s going against nat"re. !t#s simply impossible$
5len$ simply impossible. !f 8e#s an "nderstanding Eod 8e#ll see that for himself. !f 8e#s
not going to remain naYve forever 8e#ll remain evil and destr"ctive forever. !#m sorry$
5len) !#ve got nothing against religion b"t this Eod doesn#t 'now what 8e sho"ld be
wanting. Eo and live in the desert$ 5len$ go there and ta'e yo"r clairvoyance with yo".
-omething li'e that doesn#t belong among people. Eoodbye$ holy 5len. ! thin' it#s best if
we never see each other again.
Chapter 'I
The (irst Conflict
*obody has ever fo"nd o"t how it happened$ b"t 0"st when the factory owned by
I. 1are'$ 1@K1 1i+ova -treet$ &Jevnov$ was occ"pied by detectives and s"rro"nded by
police$ 1are'#s prototype carb"rator was stolen. Despite vigoro"s investigations the
device disappeared witho"t a trace.
/ little while later$ Nan &inder$ the owner of a fairgro"nd ro"ndabo"t$ bo"ght a
petrol engine from a scrap metal dealer. he dealer offered him a big copper cylinder
with reg"lator and told him it was very good val"e for the price) it wo"ld only need a
small amo"nt f"el$ he said$ and it wo"ld 'eep r"nning for months. Nan &inder felt a
pec"liar$ even blind$ faith in the copper cylinder and bo"ght it for three h"ndred 'or"n.
8e too' it personally to his ro"ndabo"t$ which at that time had bro'en down.
Nan &inder too' off his coat$ assembled the copper cylinder and$ 2"ietly whistling
to himself$ set to wor'. 8e replaced the reg"lator with a drive(wheel$ p"t a belt aro"nd it
leading to another shaft which$ at one end$ wo"ld drive the m"sic player and$ at the other$
ma'e the ro"ndabo"t t"rn. hen he oiled the connection pins$ inserted them into one of
the wheels and$ his hands in his poc'ets and p"rsing his lips to whistle$ stood there in his
stripey tee(shirt wondering what to do ne+t. he wheel span ro"nd three times and
stopped) then it 0"ddered$ roc'ed$ and then$ slowly at first$ it began to t"rn in earnest.
he m"sic bo+ started "p with all its dr"ms and whistles$ the caro"sel shoo' itself as if
wa'ing from a long sleep$ all its 0oints crea'ed and$ with a s"re and steady elegance it
began to rotate. the silver tassles 0ingled$ the white horses with their gaily colo"red reins
and saddles seemed to be drawing 'ings and princes in their coaches$ a stag with wild and
staring eyes twisted ro"nd ready to leap$ a swan with her elegant nec' drew her p"re
white boat ro"nd the circle. /ll was a(glitter$ all 0ingled with m"sic and all the glory of
7aradise as the caro"sel went ro"nd m"sic bo+ at its centre$ watched by the "nmoving
eyes of the three Eraces painted on it.
Nan &inder$ his lips still p"rsed$ stood there with his hands in his poc'ets and
watched the caro"sel as it went ro"nd. here was something new and bea"tif"l abo"t it
and he stood as if in a dream. 8e was no longer alone. / tearf"l$ r"nny(nosed child had
dragged its yo"ng nanny along and stopped in ama%ement in front of the caro"sel$ its
eyes boggling and its mo"th wide open. 5ven the yo"ng nanny stared and stood there as
if seeing an apparition. he caro"sel t"rned. !ts motion was oddly vigoro"s$ grand$
celebratory) one moment it span as if in a passion$ the ne+t it swang li'e a cradle or a boat
laden with all the aromas of !ndia$ the ne+t moment it glided li'e a golden clo"d high "p
in the s'y) it seemed to be lifted high above the gro"nd$ to be afire$ to be singing. *o$ it
was the m"sic bo+ that was singing) now with a clear woman#s voice$ the tones of the
harp falling on it li'e a silver rain) then it roared li'e a 0"ngle or an organ$ b"t from the
depths of the 0"ngle were the fl"te(li'e tones of the birds that seemed to come and settle
on yo"r sho"lder) the golden b"gles sang with the tones of victory$ or perhaps an entire
army with it fiery swords a(glitter. /nd who was it singing this tri"mphant anthem4
ho"sands of branches waved$ the 8eavens were open and$ to the rattle of dr"ms$ flew
down the song of Eod himself.
Nan &inder raised his hand$ the caro"sel stopped and leant down to welcome the
child on board. 8e stepped cl"msily on board as if wal'ing into the open gates of
7aradise and the n"rse$ as if in a dream$ followed him and settled into the boat of the
swan. F*o charge today$F said &inder in his gravelly voice. he m"sic bo+ sang o"t and
the caro"sel began to t"rn as if lifting itself to 8eaven. Nan &inder felt di%%y) What#s
happening4 !t#s not the ro"ndabo"t t"rning$ it#s the whole world t"rning aro"nd it$ the
ch"rch in UlQchov is describing an enormo"s circle$ the sanatori"m is moving with the
whole of HySehrad and spinning over to the other side of the river. 3es$ the whole world
is spinning ro"nd the caro"sel$ t"rning faster and faster$ spinning li'e a t"rbine) b"t the
ro"ndabo"t stands frirmly in the middle$ gently swaying li'e a ship with white horses
strolling abo"t the dec'$ deer and swans and the little child who ta'es his nanny by the
hand and leads her to smooth the animals. 3es$ the world is spinning wildly$ the
ro"ndabo"t alone is a bea"tif"l island of peace and calm. Nan &inder staggered$ his
stomach "nsettled from the spinning of the world$ opened his arms wide and ran to the
caro"sel where he ca"ght one of the bars and leapt on board$ onto the dec' where there
was peace.
=rom his position on the caro"sel he co"ld see how the world was t"rning and
tossing li'e an angry sea. /nd loo' over there$ startled people were r"nning from their
ho"ses$ waving their hands$ staggering and falling as if an enormo"s spindle had ta'en
control of them. &inder$ 'eeping firm hold of the bar$ leant forward and sho"ted to them)
Fhis way$ come this wayGF he people saw the caro"sel as it spar'led and lifted itself
above the di%%ying r"sh of the world and staggered their way towards it. &inder$ one
hand firmly holding the bar$ offered the other hand o"t to them and p"lled them "p from
the ever(moving gro"nd) children$ old women$ old men$ all now stood on the dec' of the
ro"ndabo"t and ca"ght their breath bac' after s"ch s"rprise and ama%ement when they
saw the world t"rning ro"nd. &inder p"lled all the people on board$ b"t there was still a
little blac' dog$ s2"ealing with fear and the wish to be on the ro"ndabo"t$ b"t the earth
carried him faster and faster all aro"nd it. &inder s2"atted down$ reached o"t$ and ca"ght
the dog by the collar to lift him on board.
he m"sic bo+ now began to play an anthem of than'sgiving. !t was as if the
people on the ro"ndabo"t were stranded on an island$ the m"sic li'e a chorale of
castaways in which the ro"gh voices of the swimmers blended with those of children at
prayer) the storm that landed them there also created a rainbow which itself sang a
melody (in & minor) as the s'y po"red forth with glittering pi%%icato from the strings of
the 8eavens. he castaways on &inder#s caro"sel stood bareheaded and in silence) the
women whispered 2"iet prayers and the children$ forgetting what horrors thay had gone
thro"gh before$ bravely stro'ed the solid 0aws of the stag and the c"rving nec' of the
swan. he white horses patiently allowed the children to 'ic' and scratch them as they
clawed their way into the saddles$ some of them whinnied or calmly str"c' at the gro"nd
with their hooves. he world aro"nd them began to spin less wildly and altho"gh he was
not an e+perienced spea'er Nan &inder$ loo'ing tall in his stripey$ sleeveless tee(shirt$
began to say something)
FWell everyone$ we#ve all come here o"t of the t"rmoil and disorder of the world.
We#ve fo"nd the peace of Eod here in the middle of the storm$ the Lord has laid "s down
here to rest. his is a sign that we have to get away from the r"sh and b"stle of the world
and t"rn to the lap of Eod. /men.F Nan &inder contin"ed to spea' in this way and the
people on the caro"sel listened to him as if they had been in ch"rch. =inally$ the world
stopped t"rning$ the m"sic bo+ played a 2"iet and holy anthem$ and everyone 0"mped off.
Nan &inder told them once again that the ride had been free and they left feeling that they
had been elevated. hen$ at fo"r o#cloc'$ when old people and mothers with their
children were o"t wal'ing$ the m"sic bo+ started "p again and the world began to t"rn.
,nce again Nan &inder resc"ed them all and soothed them with an appropriate sermon on
his ro"ndabo"t) at si+ o#cloc' the wor'ers were coming home from wor'$ at eight lovers
came o"t wal'ing$ and again$ at ten o#cloc'$ merry(ma'ers came o"t of the p"bs and
cinemas) each gro"p after the other was ca"ght "nawares when the world began to spin
and was resc"ed by Nan &inder who too' them onto the blissf"l dec' of his ro"ndabo"t
and sent them on their way again with his words to stay with them for the rest of their
lives.
/fter a wee' of saving people in this way &inder#s ro"ndabo"t moved on and
started to travel to new places "p the Iiver Hltava. !t had been performing its spirit"al
wor' with great s"ccess for fo"r days in the town of WtXchovice when something rather
sombre happened.
Nan &inder had 0"st finished his sermon and sent his new converts on their way
with a blessing. hen a dar' and silent crowd approached) at his head was a tall$ bearded
man who came straight "p to &inder.
FWell4F he said$ with some effort to control his anger. F/re yo" going to pac' it
in then or ...F
&inder#s converts heard this$ t"rned ro"nd and came bac' to their teacher. &inder
felt that his own people were close behind him and declared firmly$ FWhen the time
comes.F
FCalm down$F said another angry man. F!t#s 1ister 6"%enda yo"#re tal'ing to.F
F3o" leave him alone$ 1ister 8"dec$F the bearded man said. F! can deal with him
myself. =or the second time$ if yo" don#t pac' it in now then$ in the name of the Lord$ !#ll
smash yo"r head in.F
F/nd yo"$F said Nan &inder$ Fyo" get off home$ or else$ in the name of the Lord$
!#ll 'noc' yo"r teeth o"t.F
F&loody 8ellGF e+claimed &rych$ the mechanic as he p"shed himself forward.
FN"st let him tryGF
F&rothers$F said 6"%enda gently$ F first let#s try to settle this amicably. &inder$
what yo"#re doing here is a disgrace$ it#s 0"st magic$ and we#re not going to tolerate
something li'e that this close to o"r holy dredger.F
F3o"r dredger is a con tric'$F asserted &inder.
FWhat did yo" say4F e+claimed 6"%enda$ ins"lted.
F/ con tric'.F
!t#s hard to separate o"t the events that followed ne+t. !t seems that the first blow
was str"c' by the ba'er who was on 6"%enda#s side$ b"t &inder smashed his fist into his
head. he game'eeper th"mped &inder in the chest with the b"tt of his g"n b"t dropped
the g"n in the process$ a yo"ng man from WtXchovice (on &inder#s side) "sed it to 'noc'
o"t &rych#s front teeth and 'noc'ed off 1ister 8"dec#s hat. he postman (6"%enda#s
side) throttled a lad on &inder#s side. &inder ran to help him$ b"t a girl from WtXchovice
0"mped on his bac' and bit his "pper arm$ right where &inder has his tattoo of the
heraldic C%ech lion. -omeone on &inder#s side p"lled o"t a 'nife$ the people on
6"%enda#s side seemed to draw bac' b"t a few of them leapt on the ro"ndabo"t$ 'noc'ed
off the stag#s antlers and the elegant nec' of one of the swans. he ro"ndabo"t gave a
sigh
$ it leant to one side and its roof fell down onto the mob as they str"ggled with each other.
6"%enda was in0"red as one of the bars hit him and lost conscio"sness. 5verything
seemed to be dar' and silent. &y the time help finally arrived &inder had a bro'en collar
bone$ 6"%enda lay half(conscio"s$ &rych was spitting blood and some of his teeth and the
girl from WtXchovic was sobbing hysterically. 5veryone else had fled.
Chapter 'II.
The Pri)ate Tutor
he learned yo"ng Doctor &laho"S$ 0"st fifty(five years old and already private
t"tor in comparative religion at Charles ;niversity in 7rag"e$ wr"ng his hands as he sat
down to the 2"artos of paper ready(c"t and waiting for him. 8e 2"ic'ly wrote the title$
Manifestations of Religion in Recent +ays$ and began his article with the words Fhe
meaning of the term #religion# has been disp"ted at least since the time of CiceroF$ b"t
then stopped to thin'. !#ll have this article p"blished$ and then$ my colleag"es$ 0"st see
what a sensation it#ll ca"seG !#m l"c'y that this religio"s fever has bro'en o"t 0"st at the
right timeG 1y article will be right "p to date. /ll the papers will say$ F,"r learned
yo"ng Doctor &laho"S has written a st"dy which is highly penetratingF$ and lots of
comments li'e that. hen !#ll be given an e+ceptional professorship and Iegner will b"rst
with rage.
8ere$ the yo"ng scholar r"bbed his wrin'ly hands till they crac'ed with 0oy and
set down to the 0ob of writing. &y evening when his landlady came to as' what he wo"ld
li'e for dinner he was already on his si+tieth 2"arto of paper and writing on the s"b0ect of
the Ch"rch =athers. &y eleven o#cloc' (page 11K) he had arrived at his own definition of
the term FreligionF$ in which 0"st one word was different from the definiton set down by
his predecessor) he briefly disc"ssed (with several c"tting remar's) the e+act methods of
religio"s science$ and by then the brief intod"ction to his article was completed.
-hortly after midnight o"r scholar wrote$ F!t is in very recent times that a n"mber
of religio"s and c"lt phenomena have manifested that re2"ire the attention of the e+act
science of religion. o be s"re$ their primary f"nction is the st"dy of religion in nations
long def"nct$ b"t the living present can also offer the modern (Doctor &laho"S "nderlined
this word) researcher vario"s data which$ mutatis mutan"is throw a certain light on the
c"lts of the ancient world abo"t which we can offer no"ght b"t s"rmisals.F
8e went on to describe 6"%endism$ according to newspaper and eyewitness
reports$ in which he fo"nd traces of fetishism and even totemism (the dredger being the
totemic god of WtXchovice). 8e asserted that followers of the &inder c"lt showed
similarities with the whirling dervishes and ancient orgiastic c"lts. he events at the
grand opening of the power station were 2"ic'ly placed in conte+t and compared with the
7arsee fire worshippers. 1ach9t#s religio"s comm"nity$ he said$ showed traces of
asceticism and fa'irism) he cited vario"s incidents of clairvoyance and miracle healing
which he compared very favo"rably with the magic performed by ancient negro tribes in
central /frica. 8e mentioned the e+tent of psychic phenomena and remote s"ggestion) he
cited the historical occ"rrence of parades of flagellants$ the Cr"sades$ millenarianism and
the amo's of 1alaysia. 8e e+plained the religio"s movements of recent days from two
psychological points of view) from the pathological point of view as degenerate hysterics
and from the point of view there there was a collective psychological epidemic of
believers$ the mass of people of less intellect"al ability) in both e+planations he
demonstrated the atavistic appearance of primitive c"lt form$ their tendency to animism(
pantheism and shamanism$ religio"s comm"nism reminiscent of neo(baptism and$ in
general$ the wea'ening of reasonable tho"ghts and activities in favo"r of the cr"dest
drives and s"perstitions$ magic$ occ"ltism$ mysticism and idolatry.
FWe are not faced with the tas'$F Doctor &laho"S contin"ed$ Fof determining how
far we are dealing with charlatans and cheats spec"lating on h"man cred"lity$ as there is
no do"bt that any scientific e+amination wo"ld show that the s"pposed FmiraclesF of
these present(day thamat"rgs are nothing more than attempts at the deceits and
s"ggestions that have long been familiar. his aspect of the new Freligio"s
comm"nitiesF$ sects and circles that spring "p every day is more the concern of the
sec"rity forces and psychiatry than o"rselves. he st"dy of religion is an e+act science$
and limited to ascertaining that all these religio"s manifestations are basically no more
than barbaric atavism and m"mbo(0"mbo dating bac' to the most primitive elements of
c"lts that arise from the fantasies that live in the h"man "nconscio"s) it re2"ires no more
than a few fanatics$ charlatans and downright maniacs to bring o"t the prehistoric motives
for religio"s faith that live beneath the veneer of 5"ropean civilisation.F
Doctor &laho"S got "p from his des' after writing three h"ndred and forty si+th
2"arto of his article$ altho"gh he was still not tired. ! need to wor' o"t an effective
concl"sion$ he said to himself) a few tho"ghts abo"t progress and science$ abo"t the
rather s"spect toleration towards this religo"s obsc"rantism shown by governments$
abo"t the need to establish a vigoro"s defence against reaction$ and so on.
8ere the yo"ng scholar$ lifted on the wings of his own enth"siasm$ went over to
the window and leant o"t into the 2"iet of the night. !t was half past fo"r in the morning.
Doctor &laho"S loo'ed down into the dar' streets$ and shivered slightly in the chilly air.
/ro"nd him all was dead$ not a single tiny light shone from anyone#s window. he
private t"tor raised his eyes to the s'y) it had already beg"n to t"rn pale$ b"t the stars still
spar'led in its bo"ndless glory. 8e realised how long it had been since he had loo'ed at
the s'y) Eood Lord$ it m"st be nearly thirty yearsG
/ cool and pleasant bree%e stro'ed his brow$ as if someone had ta'en his head
into a pair of cold$ clean hands. !#m so alone$ the old man tho"ght with regret$ always so
alone. 3es$ stro'e my hair a little) oh$ it#s thirty years since anyone p"t their hand on my
browG
/n+io"s and a2"iver$ Doctor &laho"S stood at the window. -omething#s here$ he
s"ddenly felt with sweet and fearf"l startlement$ oh Eod$ !#m not here alone after allG
here#s an arm that#s holding me$ someone is here beside me) don#t goG
!f the doctor#s ho"se'eeper had come into the room a few moments later she
wo"ld have seen him standing at the window with both hands raised "p high$ his head
thrown bac' and$ on his face$ an e+pression of the greatest rapt"re. &"t now he shoo'
shoo' himself$ opened his eyes and$ as if in a dream$ went bac' to his des'.
F,n the other hand$ however$ there can be do do"bt$F he wrote 2"ic'ly and with
no tho"ght of what he had written earlier$ Fthat it is only by means of these primitive c"lts
that Eod can manifest in the modern world. With the decline of faith in recent times the
connection with the spirit"al life of the ancients has been bro'en) Eod needs to start
again from the beginning$ bringing "s bac' to him as$ at one time$ he did with the
savages) he m"st start with with idols and fetishes) minor deities$ gro"ps$ clans and tribes)
bring nat"re to life and wor' thro"gh witchcraft. his historical development of religion
is repeating itself before o"r eyes$ starting with the prehistoric forms and grad"ally
progressing to higher levels. he modern wave of religiosity is 2"ite li'ely to branch o"t
in many different directions$ each of which will strive to become dominant at the e+pense
of the others. We can e+pect a period of religio"s wars which$ in their fervo"r and
persistence$ will s"rpass the Cr"sades and$ in their si%e$ will s"rpass the recent World
Wars. !n this godless world of o"rs the 6ingdom of Eod will not come witho"t great
sacrifices and dogmatic conf"sion. his is why ! tell yo") Eive yo"rselves over to the
/bsol"te with all yo"r being) believe in Eod so that 8e can spea' to yo" in any way
possible. 6now that 8e is already on 8is way to ma'e the 5arth$ and perhaps other
planets in o"r solar system too$ part of of 8is eternal empire$ the 5mpire of the /bsol"te.
/gain ! tell yo") Iepent before it#s too lateGF
his article by Doctor &laho"S$ the private t"tor$ really was p"blished$ altho"gh
some c"ts were made. he editors printed only part of his analysis of new sects b"t the
whole of his concl"sion$ and they did ta'e the preca"tion of adding a note saying that
this yo"ng academic#s views are certainly an indication of the mood of the age.
here was no scandal when it was p"blished$ beca"se$ as it t"rned o"t$ it was
s"ppressed in another way. Doctor Iegner$ private t"tor of philosophy$ however$ did read
it$ "pon which he anno"nced in vario"s places)
F&laho"S is impossible. -imply impossible. 8ow can yo" possibly ta'e someone
serio"sly who dares to write academic articles abo"t religion when he believes in Eod
himself4F
Chapter 'III
The Chronicler Apologises
*ow please$ allow the chronicler of the /bsol"te to draw attention to the
diffic"lty of his sit"ation. 8e has 0"st written FChapter >!!!F$ and is aware that this
"nhappy n"mber will have a decisive infl"ence on the clarity and f"llness of his acco"nt.
here will be something in this banef"l chapter which will ca"se conf"sion$ of this yo"
can be s"re) the a"thor co"ld have written (as if it didn#t matter) FChapter >!HF$ b"t the
attentive reader wo"ld then feel himself cheated of Chapter >!!!$ and with good reason)
he has$ after all paid his money and can e+pect to receive the acco"nt in f"ll. &"t$ if yo"
are afraid of the n"mber thirteen yo" sho"ld s'ip this chapter) to be honest yo" won#t lose
m"ch of the light shed on the gloomy matter of the /bsol"te at Large.
/nd this is not the worst to ca"se embarassment for the chronicler. 8e has
already o"tlined to yo"$ as coherently as he can$ how the initial factory was created and
how it flo"rished. he has drawn yo"r attention to the effects of a n"mber of carb"rators
s"ch as 1ister 1ach9t#s$ the one in Zivno$ in the te+tile wor's in [pice$ on 6"%enda#s
dredger and in &inder#s ro"ndabo"t) he has described the tragic case of &laho"S$ ca"sed
by the /bsol"te#s ability to flow freely and infect people at long distance after$ as we have
seen$ it had beg"n to spread ine+orably$ albeit witho"t any perceptible plan.
&"t now consider this horrifying fact) since this whole affair began a tho"sand
different carb"rators of many different types have been made. rains$ aeroplanes$ cars
and ships powered by this most ine+pensive of motors have been leaving whole clo"ds of
the /bsol"te in their wa'e in 0"st the same way as they "sed to leave clo"ds of d"st
smo'e and stench. Consider that tho"sands of factories all ro"nd the world have already
thrown o"t their old boilers and converted to carb"rator power) that h"ndreds of
ministries and offices$ hotels and barrac's$ schools and theatres and wor'ers hostels$
tho"sands of editorial offices and cl"bo"ses$ cabarets and homes were all being centrally
heated with the latest 15/- carb"rator. Consider that 15/- was absorbing other
companies and that =ord$ in /merica$ threw itself into mass prod"ction of carb"rators
spewing thirty tho"sand new carb"rators into the world every day.
3es$ consider all this$ and consider what effect the carb"rator has had on anyone
yo"#ve been told abo"t so far. 1"ltiply these effects by a h"ndred tho"sand$ and yo" will
2"ic'ly "nderstand what sort of problem the chronicler is faced with. 8e wo"ld love to
come with yo" and wander ro"nd to each new car"b"rator as it appears$ watch as it is
placed on a waggon$ given some hay$ a piece of bread or a c"be of s"gar to the massive
horses with their ma0estic broad bac's as they p"ll the rattling cart to the factory with
new copper cylinder) how he wo"ld love to stand with his arms on his hips and help to
install each one$ giving the wor'men his advice and stay long eno"gh to see each one
begin to t"rn) then how 'een he wo"ld be to watch people#s faces as FitF begins to ta'e
effect as the /bsol"te enters them thro"gh the nose$ thro"gh the ears or whatever$ as it
dismantles the hardness of their nat"res$ brea's their inclinations$ heals their moral
wo"nds) how it plo"ghs deep into their character and t"rns their earth$ as it lights them
"p$ grinds them down$ changes what they are) how the world of miracles opens "p before
them$ astonishing b"t so nat"ral to man'ind$ the world of ecstasy$ inspiration$ holiness
and faithG /s please believe the chronicler when he tells yo" that describing these events
is beyond him) a historian will ma'e "se of a compendi"m of his 'nowledge of events$
he"ristics$ diplomacy$ abstractions$ syntheses$ statistics and other techni2"es of his
discipline all in con0"ction$ he will compress tho"sands and h"ndreds of tho"sands of
detailed$ live personal events into a dense material to be shaped in whatever way might
appeal to him$ then he will ta'e the res"lt and call it Fhistorical factF$ Fsocial evidenceF$
Fc"m"lative eventsF$ FdevelopmentF$ Fc"lt"r"al flowF or even Fhistorical tr"thF. /ll the
chronicler can do is loo' at individ"al events$ b"t$ after all$ this is what a chronicler li'es
doing.
*ow let "s s"ppose he o"ght to be pragmatic$ create and develop ideas$ describe
things synthetically and offer an e+planation for the Fflow of religionF that shoo' the
world in the late nineteen(forties) aware of the enormity of his tas'$ he will proceed to
collecting and compiling the Freligio"s manifestationsF of that period) b"t on this
he"ristic ro"te he might find$ for instance$ Nan &inder$ emerit"s variety perfomer in his
stripey tee shirt$ travelling from village to village with his atomic ro"ndabo"t. &eca"se
of historical synthesis$ the chronicler will clearly be prevented from ta'ing the stripey tee
shirt and the ro"ndabo"t and even Nan &inder himself and drawing any inferences from
them) he will be obliged to 'eep to the Fhistorical 'ernelF and assert no more than that
Ffrom its earliest stages$ the religio"s phenomenon shoo' all levels of societyF. 8ere$ the
chronicler really o"ght to admit that he cannot tear himself away from Nan &inder$ he is
enchanted by his ro"ndabo"t and even finds &inder#s stripey tee(shirt m"ch more
interesting than any Fsynthetic feat"reF. his is simply scientific incompetence$ yo"
might say$ sheer dilletantism$ too narrow a historic perspective or anything else yo"
might thin' of) b"t if the chronicler were at liberty to ind"lge his own inclinations he
wo"ld ta'e "p with Nan &inder$ travel on with him down to Aes': &"dX0ovice and on to
6latovy$ 7ilsen$ Zl"tice and so on) it is only with regret that he can ta'e his leave of him
in WtXchovice give him a farewell( wave) goodbye 1ister &inder$ yo"#re a nice man$
goodbye ro"ndabo"t$ we won#t be seeing each other again.
Eod help me$ ! even left 6"%enda and &rych on their dredger on the Hltava) !#d
li'e to have spent many more evenings there with them$ as ! li'e the Iiver Hltava$ in fact
water co"rses of any sort$ and evenings by the water are especially nice$ and !#ve become
very fond of 1ister 6"%enda and 1ister &rych) as for 1ister 8"dec$ the ba'er$ the
postman$ the game'eeper and the lovers from WtXchovice$ ! thin' even they wo"ld be
worth closer attention$ 0"st li'e anyone$ any one of yo" or any living person. &"t instead
! have to h"rry on and hardly even have the time to wave them goodbye with my hat.
Eoodbye$ 1ister 6"%enda$ Eoodnight$ 1ister &rych) than' yo" for that one night we
spend on the dredger. /nd Doctor &laho"S$ ! even have to ta'e my leave of yo"$ too) !
wo"ld love to spend many years with yo" and describe the whole of yo"r life ( after all$ is
the life of a private t"tor not$ in its own way$ rich and e+citing4 7ass my greetings to
yo"r ho"se'eper$ at least.
5verything that is is worth observing.
/nd that#s why !#d li'e to go along with every new carb"rator on its way) ! wo"ld
meet$ and yo" wo"ld meet with me$ many new people$ and that#s always worth doing)
0"st to get a glimpse of their lives$ see a tiny part of what#s in their hearts$ watch as their
personal faith is born and see their personal salvation$ linger by each new miracle when
someone becomes holy$ that wo"ld be an e+perience for meG hin' of the beggar$ the
big(b"sinessman$ the ban' manager$ the engine driver$ wareho"seman$ rabbi$ ma0or$
b"siness manager$ cabaret comedian$ any sort of h"man occ"pation yo" can thin' of)
thin' of the miser$ the lecher$ the snob$ the s'eptic$ the sycophant$ the careerist$ and any
sort of h"man character) now thin' of the vario"s$ endlessly different$ pec"liar and
s"rprising cases where the grace of Eod has been shown (or$ if yo" insist$ cases of
poisoning by the /bsol"te)$ and how diffic"lt it wo"ld be to ta'e an interest in every one
of themG hin' of the degrees of faith$ ranging from the simple believer to the fanatic$
from the penitent to the miracle wor'er$ from the convert to the fervent apostleG o cover
all of thisG 7"t my hand to all of itG !t wo"ld be in vain$ this wor' wo"ld never be
finished$ there wo"ld be so m"ch historical material that the chronicler wo"ld be forced
to relin2"ish the hono"r of ma'ing a scientific distillation of it all$ in a state of ang"ish he
wo"ld be forced to t"rn away from cases which he is not re2"ired to report on.
! wish ! co"ld stay with the blessed 5lenG ! wish ! were not forced to abandon I.
1are' who is "ndergoing treatment in a spa town for his shattered nervesG ! wish ! co"ld
"ncover 1ister &ondy#s ind"strial strategy and the wor'ings of his mindG &"t ! have no
choice in the matter. he /bsol"te has now in"ndated the world and become a mass
phenomenon) the chronicler can only loo' bac' with regret and devote himself to giving
a s"mmary o"tline of some of the social and political events which ine+orably too' place.
-o) let "s embar' on the e+amination of a new set of facts.
Chapter 'IV.
Land of Plent*
he chronicler ( and certainly many of yo"rselves too ( has often loo'ed "p at the
stars in the night s'y for whatever reason and become aware$ in d"mb ama%ement$ of
their enormo"s n"mber and inconceivable si%e and distance$ and reminded himself that
each of those points is an immense world of fire or even an entire$ living$ solar system$
and that these points co"ld n"mber in the billions) or when he has loo'ed down from a
high mo"ntain (it happened to me in the atras 1o"ntains in -lova'ia) at the wide spread
of meadows and woods and hills$ and close in front of him the dense forest and grassland$
everything in ab"ndance$ tangled$ vigoro"s and astonishingly f"ll of life$ when he saw
how the grass was thic' with flowers and beetles and b"tterflies$ and this di%%ying
ab"ndance was repeated all over the panorama spread o"t before him to Eod 'nows
where$ and this panorama was li'e co"ntless other panoramas all over the world$ 0"st as
f"ll and bo"ntif"l$ covering the s"rface of o"r entire planet) when the chronicler has been
faced with a spectacle s"ch as this he has often tho"ght of the Creator and said to himself)
!f there was someone who made or created all this then$ to p"t it plainly$ it was a
wor' of ama%ing$ wastef"l e+travagance. !f anyone was to demonstrate his right to call
himself the Creator there was no need to create in s"ch insane 2"antities. /b"ndance is
chaos$ and chaos is something li'e dr"n'enness or insanity. 3es$ the h"man mind is
offended at the s"perfl"ity of creation. here is simply too m"ch of it. /n insane
bo"ndlessness. /nyone who#s been eternal since birth will have become "sed to all these
large scales$ of co"rse$ and won#t have the right meas"re (as all meas"res will be based on
infinity)$ or$ more li'ely$ 8e won#t have any meas"re at all.
7lease don#t s"ppose !#m committing blasphemy) !#m simply trying to e+press the
disproportion between h"man "nderstanding and cosmic ab"ndance. his pointless$
ab"ndant$ fanatical e+cess of everything that e+ists. Loo'ed at with a sober eye it seems
more li'e an "nleashing than any conscio"s or methodical creation. ! 0"st tho"ght !#d
better say that$ for the sa'e of decency$ before we go bac' to the s"b0ect at hand.
3o" will be already aware that the perfect b"rning invented by 1are' all b"t
proved the e+istence of the /bsol"te in all matter. !t can be imagined th"s (this is$ of
co"rse$ all hypothetical)) before the creation$ all that e+isted was the /bsol"te as
limitless free energy) this free energy$ for some important physical or moral reason$
started to create) it was transformed into wor'ing energy$ and$ precisely in accordance
with the laws of inversion$ it was changed into a state of infinite bo"nd energy) in this
way it lost some of its power of wor' to create matter$ in which it remained caged in
latent form. /nd if that#s hard to "nderstand there is nothing ! can do abo"t it.
-o$ it seems that b"rning material in 1are'#s atomic motor wo"ld release this
energy from the bo"nds that held it) it became =ree 5nergy or the active /bsol"te$ 0"st as
it had been before the Creation. !t was a s"dden liberation of the inscr"table wor'ing
7ower that had already been seen at the creation of the world.
!f the whole of the "niverse were s"ddenly and perfectly b"rned it wo"ld become
possible to reprod"ce the primaeval act of creation) it wo"ld certainly be the end of the
world$ a perfect li2"idation that wo"ld ma'e it possible to fo"nd a new world order$
Cosmos !!. &"t$ as yo" 'now$ 1are'#s carb"rator was still only able to b"rn matter one
'ilo at a time. he /bsol"te$ released in this way little by little$ either did not feel strong
eno"gh to start a new creation straight away or maybe did not want to repeat what it had
already done) in short$ it somehow decided to manifest itself in two different ways$ one
that was somewhat traditional$ and the other was decidedly modern.
he traditional way in which it made itself felt was$ as yo" 'now$ religio"s. !t
was the ca"se of vario"s inspirations and conversions$ moral effects and miracles$
levitation$ ecstasy$ prophecies and$ above all$ religio"s faith. 8ere$ the /bsol"te bro'e
into the personal and c"lt"ral life of man'ind in ways that were already well trodden$
albeit to an e+tent "nprecedented. /fter a few months there was hardly anyone on 5arth
who had not been smitten with religion for a least a short time$ whose so"l the /bsol"te
had not laid claim to. We will ret"rn to this psychological manifestation of the /bsol"te
later$ once it becomes necessary to describe its catastrophic conse2"ences.
he other way the =ree /bsol"te showed its e+istence bro"ght something entirely
new. he bo"ndless energy which had once been occ"pied with the creation of the world
threw itself$ clearly with regard to the changed circ"mstances$ into ind"stry. !t did not
create$ it man"fact"red. !nstead of p"re creation it set to wor' at machines$ and made
itself the !nfinite Wor'man.
Consider that every factory in the world$ a factory ma'ing nails for instance$ had
by this time replaced its steam engines with a perfect carb"rator as the cheapest so"rce of
energy. he /bsol"te was contin"o"sly emerging from these atomic motors$ and with its
innate intelligence glanced$ as it were$ at means of prod"ction by day and then$ perhaps
beca"se of its "nstoppable "rge to create or perhaps beca"se of ambition$ threw itself into
prod"ction) it began ma'ing nails on its own initiative. ,nce it had started there was no
stopping it. he machine$ with nobody there to operate it$ spewed o"t nails and ever
larger 2"antities of iron were s"pplied for ma'ing them. /t first sight it was horrifying.
When materials were "sed "p$ iron s"rged "p to replace them$ the gro"nd aro"nd the
factory sweated p"re iron as if s"c'ed "p from the depths of the 5arth) then the iron rose
abo"t a meter in the air and glid rapidly into the machines as if something had shoved it
there. Do be caref"l here) ! "se the phrase Fthe iron roseF and FglidF$ b"t all the eye
witnesses say they got the impression that the iron was lifted by an invisible b"t
irresistible force$ something with s"ch an obvio"s concentration of power that it made
yo" sh"dder) there was clearly some mighty horror doing it all. 3es$ some of yo" may
have played aro"nd with spirit"alism and seen Fthe table riseF) ! have been ass"red that
the table does not rise with the ease of something immaterial b"t with a 'ind of 0er'y
effort) it b"rsts from all its bonds$ sh"dders$ is forced "p by degrees "ntil it is thrown into
the air as if str"ggling against some 'ind of force. &"t how am ! to descrbe this horrible$
m"te str"ggle whereby iron is lifted from the depths of the earth$ beaten into rods and
inserted into the machines that will chop them into nails4 he rods coil ro"nd li'e whips$
rattle and scrape in their efforts to resist the silent$ immaterial force that moves them.
5very acco"nt given at the time describes the horror felt at this sight) it#s tr"e that it was a
miracle$ b"t don#t imagine that a miracle m"st be something light and easy li'e in a fairy
tale) it seems$ rather$ that a real miracle is based on something startling$ enervating$ tense.
&"t whatever effort the /bsol"te had to apply to this wor' it was overshadowed by the
sheer$ astonishing 2"antity prod"ced) the n"mber of nails prod"ced by one factory$ as that
is the branch of ind"stry we are tal'ing abo"t at present$ was eno"gh to create whole
mo"ntains of them in the yard$ they were ch"rned o"t day and night so that mo"ntains
wo"ld rise beyond the factory yards and fill the streets aro"nd it.
Let "s stay on the s"b0ect of nails$ as the man"fact"re of nails shows the wastef"l
b"t ine+ha"stible nat"re of the /bsol"te$ 0"st as it was at the creation of the world. ,nce
it had thrown itself into prod"ction it showed no concern for distrib"tion$ demand$
mar'et$ p"rpose$ no concern for anything whatsoever) all of its tremendo"s energy was
devoted simply to spewing o"t nails. !t was$ at its heart$ eternal$ and had no concept of
ade2"acy or limits in anything$ not even nails.
ry to imagine the astonishment of the wor'ers in nail factory s"ch as this when
they saw the prod"ction levels after the new engine had been installed. =or them it was
"ne+pected and "nfair competition$ something that wo"ld render their own labo"r
s"perfl"o"s$ it was 1anchester capitalism mo"nting an attac' on the wor'ing man and
they wo"ld have good reason to set themselves in opposition to it. hey wo"ld at least
have been 0"stified in demolishing the factory and hanging its owners had they not been
ta'en by s"rprise and overcome by the /bsol"te$ so that every form of religio"s
enlightenment appeared among them. !nstead of "nrest$ they manifested levitation$
prophesying$ miracle wor'ing$ clairvoyance$ healing of the sic'$ holiness$ love for their
neighbo"rs and other s"ch "nnat"ral acts and wonders.
,n the other hand$ yo" might well imagine how the factory owners viewed this
Eod(given mass man"fact"re. 3o" might well thin' they wo"ld celebrate$ sac' all the
wor'ers$ who already annoyed them half to death anyway$ and r"b their hands with glee
at the heaps of nails which had not cost them a penny to prod"ce. &"t they too were
s"b0ect to the mental effects of the /bsol"te and immediately made the entire factory
over to the wor'ers$ their brothers in Eod$ to form an ind"strial co(operative. !t was not
long$ tho"gh$ before they realised these heaps of nails were totally worthless beca"se
there was no way of getting rid of them.
!t was tr"e that the wor'ers wo"ld no longer have to stand at the machines with
rods of iron in their hand$ and that they were now co(owners of the wor's$ b"t within a
few days it became obvio"s they wo"ld need to find some way of removing the h"ndreds
of tons of nails which$ by now$ co"ld no longer be seen as goods. =irst they tried sending
wagonloads of nails to false addresses) then all they co"ld do was d"mp them in
enormo"s heaps o"tside the town. Iemoving the nails in this way 'ept all the wor'ers
occ"pied for fo"rteen ho"rs a day b"t they made no complaint as they had been
enlightened with the spirit of Eod and service to their neighbo"rs.
=orgive me for having spent so m"ch time on the s"b0ect of nails. he /bsol"te
did not specialise in any one branch of ind"stry. !t threw itself with the same vigo"r into
the man"fact"re of te+tiles where it performed a miracle not only by weaving rope o"t of
sand b"t even fine thread) the machines for spinning and weaving and 'nitting threw o"t
millions of 'ilometers of all 'inds of te+tiles and did so witho"t stopping$ ca"sing
"pheaval in the whole of the ind"stry. !t too' control of the iron wor's$ the fo"ndries$ the
engineering wor's$ the factories ma'ing machinery$ the sawmills$ the timber wor's$
r"bber wor's$ s"gar prod"cers$ chemical ind"stries$ fertiliser ind"stries$ nitrate wor's$
printers$ paper wor's$ dye wor's$ glass wor's$ ceramic wor's$ shoema'ers$ weavers$ all
the 'ilns$ all the mines$ all the breweries distillers and dairies$ the mills were ta'en over$
the mints were ta'en over the car wor's were ta'en over and the grinding shops were
ta'en over. !t span$ it 'nitted$ it wove$ it smelted$ it hammered$ it assembled$ it sewed$ it
planed$ it sawed$ it soldered$ it pressed$ it bleached$ it refined$ it coo'ed$ it filtered$ it
printed thro"gh all the twenty(fo"r ho"rs of the day ( and sometimes twenty(si+G Where
it too' the place of tractors it plo"ghed$ it sowed$ it harrowed$ it weeded$ it reaped$ it
harvested$ and it threshed. Wherever the /bsol"te was p"t to "se it obtained ten times
more material and made a h"ndred times more prod"cts than before. !t was
ine+ha"stible. !t was a volcano of prod"ctivity. !ts bo"ndlessness was e+pressed as
ab"ndance.
he mirac"lo"s feeding of the five(tho"sand with a few loaves and fishes was
repeated on a mon"mental scale$ and became the mirac"lo"s s"pply of nails$ boards$
nitric fertilisers$ tyres$ printing(paper and any and every other ind"strial prod"ct.
he world entered a period of bo"ndless plenty. 5verything was there that
man'ind needed$ e+cept that bo"ndless plenty was 0"st what man'ind did not need.
Chapter 'V.
+phea)al
!n the well ordered times ( ! might even say blessed times ( we now live in$ when
everything has its proper price$ it#s impossible for "s to imagine what a social evil
"nbo"nded plenty co"ld represent. We s"ppose it wo"ld be nothing less than paradise$
8eaven on 5arth$ if everything were s"ddenly available in "nlimited ab"ndance.
Wonderf"l$ we wo"ld thin'$ to have eno"gh for everybody$ and everything so cheapG
&"t in the time we are describing$ when the /bsol"te had beg"n to ta'e a hand in
ind"strial prod"ction$ everything that anyone co"ld possibly need was not 0"st cheap b"t
entirely free$ and the res"lt was an economic disasaster. *ot only co"ld yo" ta'e a
handf"l of nails for nothing to bang into yo"r floorboards$ b"t yo" co"ld ta'e a whole
wagonload of nails. &"t then$ tell me$ what wo"ld yo" do with a whole wagonload4
Wo"ld yo" transport them somewhere a h"ndred miles away to be distrib"ted ( again for
nothing4 3o" wo"ld not do that beca"se if yo" were standing on a whole mo"ntain of
nails yo" wo"ld no longer see them as nails$ that is as something fairly "sef"l$ b"t as
something entirely worthless and meaningless$ simply beca"se of their ab"ndance. hey
wo"ld be of no more "se than the stars in the s'y. here was indeed a time when a pile of
shiney new nails was seen as something noble that wo"ld inspire the poet$ 0"st li'e the
stars$ they seemed made simply for o"r m"te admiration. he heaps of nails seemed$ in
their way$ to be a part of the landscape and they added to its bea"ty$ 0"st li'e the sea. &"t$
again li'e the sea$ they were not loaded onto wagons and transported inland where there
was no sea. here is no commercial distrib"tion of seawater$ and now there was none for
nails either.
-o while one place was in"ndated with a shining sea of nails$ 0"st a few miles
away there were none to be fo"nd. hey had no commercial val"e$ and so they
disappeared from the shops. !f yo" needed a nail or two to fi+ the heel heel on yo"r
shoe $ or to play a tric' on yo"r neighbo"r yo" wo"ld search for them in vain. here
were no more nails than there is sea in &ohemia. Where are the merchants of yesteryear$
the traders who bo"ght the goods we need cheap and sold them dear4 /las$ they have
disappeared$ for the grace of Eod has fallen "pon them) they have become ashamed of
their profits and closed their shops. *ow they contemplate the brotherhood of man and
give away their belongings$ now they never ever try to become rich by distrib"ting the
goods their brothers need. Where there is no price there is no mar'et. Where there is no
mar'et there is no distrib"tion. Where there is no distrib"tion there are no goods. /nd
where there are no goods there is poverty$ prices rise$ profits rise$ share prices rise. &"t
the b"sinessmen have t"rned away from the profit motive in disg"st$ an ins"perable
aversion to money and the co"nting of it. hey stopped seeing the world in terms of
cons"mption$ mar'ets and t"rnover. hey p"t their hands together and admired the
holiness and bea"ty of the world. /nd meanwhile there were no more nails. *o more
nails$ even tho"gh not very far away there were mo"ntains of them.
/nd the ba'ers too. he ba'ers went o"t in front of their shops and called$
FCome$ good people$ come with the love of Christ and ta'e the loaves yo" need$ ta'e
flo"r$ ta'e ca'es and pastries) praise the Lord and ta'e all for nothingGF /nd the cloth
merchants rolled bales of material and straight o"t onto the street$ with tears of 0oy they
c"t off five or ten meters of cloth to give to each passer(by$ begging them to accept their
little present. ,nly once their shops were 2"ite empty did they fall on their 'nees and
than' the Lord for giving them the tas' of dressing their neighbo"rs li'e the lilies of the
field. he b"tchers p"t bas'ets on their heads f"ll of meat and sa"sages and coo'ed meat
and carried them from door to door$ "rging each ho"seholder to ta'e whatever she
wanted. he sellers of shoes$ f"rnit"re$ tobacco$ baggage$ spectacles$ 0ewellery$ carpets$
whips$ ropes$ hardware$ porcelain$ boo's$ false teeth$ vegetables$ medicines$ whatever
goods yo" can thin' of$ all of them$ inspired by the breath of Eod$ r"shed o"t onto the
streets and distrib"ted all they had in the noble ecstasy of the grace of Eod. When all
their goods and possessions had been given away they stood in the doorways of their
empty shops and storerooms and$ their eyes shining with 0oy$ told each other$ FWell$
brother$ that is a great weight off my conscienceGF
/fter a few days of this there was nothing more anywhere to be given away. /nd
there was nothing more to be bo"ght$ either. he /bsol"te had pl"ndered and emptied all
the shops of everything.
1eanwhile$ far from the cities$ millions of tons of cloth was ch"rning o"t from
the looms$ niagaras of s"gar c"bes from the machines$ a b"rgeoning and ine+ha"stible
corn"copia of every 'ind of prod"ct created by Eod#s over(prod"ction. /ny feeble
attempt to distrib"te this flood of goods to where it co"ld be "sed soon came to a halt. !t
simply co"ldn#t be done.
!t#s even possible that this economic disaster also ca"sed something else)
monetary inflation. he /bsol"te$ yo" see$ had also ta'en over the national mints and
printing wor's. 5very day h"ndreds of millions of ban'notes and coins and letters of
credit were ch"rned o"t into the world$ so that deval"ation was a matter of co"rse. -oon
a b"ndle of five(tho"sand 'or"n notes was nothing more than rather hard toilet paper. !f
yo" wanted to b"y a child#s lollipop it was all the same if yo" offered one 'or"na or half a
million$ yo" still wo"ldn#t get yo"r lollipop as lollipops had disappeared. /ll the n"mbers
"sed by acco"ntants lost their meaning. he entire system of acco"ntancy was
overt"rned which was$ of co"rse$ no more than a nat"ral conse2"ence of divine
bo"ndlessness and omnipotence.
/bo"t this time shortages and even famines began to appear in the cities.
&eca"se of the reasons 0"st o"tlined$ the entire apparat"s for the s"pply goods had
collapsed.
he government ministries were still there$ ministries of trade and ind"stry$ social
sec"rity$ transport) it wo"ld have been possible to gather the tremendo"s flow of prod"cts
spewing o"t from the factories$ to prevent their decay$ and organise their distrib"tion to
the areas devastated by Eod#s generosity. ;nfort"nately$ tho"gh$ this did not happen.
1inistry staff spent all the time when they co"ld have been wor'ing engrossed in prayer$
enrapt"red by a grace stronger than anything 'nown before. he ministry of s"pply was
controlled by one of the cler's$ 1iss W9rov9$ who preached abo"t the -even -tages) in
the ministry of trade the department manager$ 1ister Win'ler$ devoted himself to an
asceticism similar to !ndian yoga. his mania$ however$ lasted only a fortnight before$ as
mirac"lo"sly as it had disappeared$ the staff regained their sense of d"ty. !t m"st have
been the /bsol"te that reminded them of it. !n the effort to resolve the catastrophe
afflicting the distrib"tion of goods they wor'ed feverishly by day and night$ b"t it was
clearly too late. he only res"lt was that each ministry iss"ed fifteen to fifty(three
tho"sand doc"ments every day$ which an inter(ministerial commission then ordered to be
ta'en away in lorries and d"mped in the river.
Worst of all was the sit"ation affecting food$ b"t fort"nately (at least as far as the
C%ech lands were concerned) we had ,;I -,;(85/I5D =/I15I-G Eentlemen$
this is the time to remember that we have always hono"red o"r farm wor'ers$ the heart of
the nation. here is even an ancient song in their praise) \*ho is that man, *hat is he
calle", The farmer of -(ech lan", &ho fee"s us all./ . he fever of waste and
s2"andering ca"sed by the /bsol"te did not come near him. Who is that man4 8e stood
firm while the mar'ets of the world fell into panic. Who is that man. 8e did not fold his
hands in his lap$ did not s"cc"mb to alarm and panic$ he remained faithf"l to his calling.
F*ho is that man, *hat is he calle", The farmer of -(ech lan", &ho fee"s us all.%
3es$ it was the farmers$ here and elsewhere$ who in their way saved the world
from starvation. !magine if they had been str"c' with the mania of giving all they had
away to the poor and needy li'e the people in the cities. if they had given all their grain
away$ their cattle and their calves$ their chic'ens and their geese and their potatoes)
within two wee's the cities wo"ld have been h"ngry and the co"ntry wo"ld have been
emptied$ s"c'ed dry$ witho"t any s"pplies and itself facing starvation. han's to o"r
0olly farmers this did not need to happen. !n retrospect$ we might try to e+plain this
miracle in terms of the farm wor'ers# instincts$ or we might tal' abo"t their faithf"l$ p"re
and deeply gro"nded tradition$ or we might merely try to e+plain it by pointing o"t that
carb"rators were not "sed in the same enormo"s n"mbers in small farms as they were in
ind"stry. !n short$ however yo" want to e+plain it$ the /bsol"te was less vir"lent in the
co"ntryside and the farmers were not ta'en over by it$ the farms did not s"ffer the same
general economic and commercial collapse as happened in the cities. he farmers did not
give away a single piece of straw or a single grain of oats. he old commercial and
ind"strial order was in r"ins$ b"t the farmers remained calm and "npert"rbed and sold
what they had. /nd they sold it dear. hey had some secret instinct that let them foresee
what disasters wo"ld be ca"sed by over(ab"ndance$ and they slowed prod"ction in time.
hey slowed prod"ction so that prices wo"ld rise however f"ll their granaries were. his
is an indication of the ama%ing$ good sense at the heart of o"r co"ntryfol'. witho"t a
word$ witho"t organisation$ led to salvation by nothing more than their inner voice$ and
wherever they were$ they p"t "p the prices. &eca"se everything had become so dear$
nothing was wasted. !n the middle of insane ab"ndance of everything$ there was an
enclave of scarcity and high prices. here is no do"bt they somehow 'new they that in
this way were saving the world .
Eoods that had been given away for nothing 2"ic'ly lost their val"e ( as they had
to as a nat"ral conse2"ence of their being available for free( and disappeared from the
mar'et$ b"t the b"ying and selling of foodst"ffs contin"ed. 3o" did$ of co"rse$ have to
travel o"t to the co"ntry to get it. 3o"r local b"tcher and ba'er and grocer had nothing
more to give yo" than his brotherly love and the word of the Lord$ so yo" p"t on yo"
r"c'sac' and went o"t a h"ndred and twenty 'ilometers$ from farm to farm$ and finally
yo" wo"ld be able to b"y a 'ilo of potatoes in ret"rn for a gold watch$ or an egg for a pair
of binoc"lars$ or a 'ilo of bran for an accordion or a typewriter. /nd there was food to
eat. Do "nderstand$ if each farmer had given it all away yo" wo"ld soon have perished$
b"t he too' a po"nd of b"tter and p"t it to one side for yo"$ waiting for yo" to arrive and
give him a 7ersian carpet for it$ or a rare and costly fol' cost"me.
-o tell me. who was it who stopped the insane comm"nist e+periments of the
/bsol"te from going too far4 Who was it who did not lose his head in a pandaemoni"m
of virt"e4 Who resisted the disastro"s flood of plenty and$ with no tho"ght for o"r lives
or property$ saved "s from destr"ction4
0*ho is that man, *hat is he calle",
The farmer of -(ech lan", &ho fee"s us all./

Chapter 'VI
In the !ountains
/fternoon in a h"t in &ear Halley. I"dolf 1are' sits h"nched on the veranda$
loo's at the newspaper$ p"ts it away again$ and loo's o"t at the broad sweep of the
Eiant#s 1o"ntains. !t#s 2"iet$ the wide and crystalline 2"iet of the mo"ntains$ and the
man sits "p from his h"ddled position to ta'e in some deep breaths.
&elow him he notices a small fig"re ma'ing its way "p towards the h"t. Fhe air
is so clean here$F says 1are' to himself on the veranda. F8ere$ than' Eod$ the /bsol"te
is 0"st an abstract idea$ 8e#s trapped inside everything$ 8e#s hidden inside these woods
and mo"ntains$ inside this lovely grass and this bl"e s'y. 8e isn#t loose in this part of the
world$ 8e doesn#t spread terror here$ doesn#t perform any magic$ 8e#s 0"st bo"nd "p as a
part of all matter$ Eod is here$ deep inside everything$ b"t 8e#s 2"iet$ doesn#t even
breathe$ simply silent and watching ...F 1are' p"t his hands together in a silent prayer of
than's. FEod$ the air is so clean hereGF
he man who had been climbing his way "p from below stopped "nder the
veranda. F/t last 1are'$ !#ve fo"nd yo"GF 1are'$ not very pleased$ loo'ed "p. -tanding
in front of him was E.8. &ondy.
F=o"nd yo" at lastGF 1ister &ondy repeated.
FCome on "p$F said 1are'$ clearly displeased. FWhat brings yo" here$ of all
places4 Loo' at the state of yo"GF
E.8. &ondy did indeed loo' haggard and yellow. his temples had t"rned grey and
there were cl"sters of tired wrin'les aro"nd his eyes. Witho"t spea'ing$ he sat down ne+t
to 1are' and p"t his hands between his 'nees.
FWell$ what#s been happening to yo" then4F insisted 1are' after a tense pa"se.
&ondy waved his hand. F!#m going to retire. !t ... yo" see ... it happened to me
too.F
Fhe grace of Eod4F e+claimed 1are'$ and he sat bac' wea'ly$ as if s"ddenly ill.
&ondy nodded. Co"ld that have been a tear of shame 2"ivering there on his
eyelashes4
1are' 2"ietly whistled. F5ven yo"$ then. ! pity yo"GF
F*o$F ob0ected &ondy promptly as he wiped his eyes. FDon#t get the idea that !#m
still ... I"da$ !$ ! somehow overcame it. ! bit thro"gh it$ b"t when it came to me it really
was the happiest time of my life. 3o"#ve no idea how m"ch effort it ta'es to get rid of it.F
F!#m s"re it does$F said 1are' serio"sly. F-o tell me$ what sort of ... symptoms
did yo" have4F
FLove for my neighbo"r$F &ondy whispered. FI"da$ ! was insane with love. !
wo"ld never have believed it was possible to feel love li'e that.F
here was a period of silence. F-o$ now then ...$F 1are' res"med.
F*ow !#ve got over it. !t was felt 0"st li'e when a fo+ bites off its own foot to get
o"t of a trap. /nd it#s left me damned wea'$ too. !#m a complete r"in. /s if !#d had
typh"s. hat#s why !#ve come "p here$ to rec"perate ... !s it clean here4F
F7erfectly clean. -o far there#s been no sign at all of ... of 8im. 3o" can sense
Eod in the landscape and nat"re and everywhere$ 0"st li'e yo" always have in the
mo"ntains$ b"t that#s all.F
&ondy was silent and grim. F/nd what$F he said conf"sedly after a while$ Fwhat
do yo" thin' of it all then4 Do yo" even 'now what#s act"ally been going on down
there4F
F! get the papers. 5ven from newspapers it#s possible to wor' o"t what#s going on
to some e+tent. !t#s all very conf"sed b"t$ if yo" can read between the lines ... &ondy$ tell
me$ is it really as horrifying as it so"nds4F
E.8. &ondy shoo' his head. F!t#s worse than yo" thin'. !t#s 0"st hopeless.
Listen$F he whispered in his despair$ F8e#s simply everywhere. ! thin' 8e#s got some
'ind of clear plan.F
F7lan4F e+claimed 1are'$ 0"mping "p from his seat.
FDon#t 'eep sho"ting. 8e#s got some 'ind of plan$ ! tell yo". 8e#s as sly as the
Devil. 1are'$ tell me$ what#s the greatest power on 5arth4F
F5ngland$F replied 1are' "nhesitatingly.
F*ot at all. he greatest power on 5arth is ind"stry. !nd"stry and the mass of the
common people$ they#re the greatest power on 5arth. Can yo" see 8is plan now4F
F*o.F
F8e#s ta'en hold of both of them. 8e#s ta'en hold and 8e#s in control of both of
them$ and that means 8e has a hand in everything. 5verything shows that 8e wants to
ta'e control of the whole world. hat#s what 8e#s doing$ 1are'.F
1are' sat bac' down. FListen$ &ondy$F he said. F!#ve had plenty of time to thin'
things over "p here in the mo"ntains. ! 'eep an eye on what#s going on and ! compare all
the evidence. !n fact ! don#t thin' abo"t anything else. ! don#t 'now what it#s all leading
to$ b"t one thing !#m s"re of is that 8e doesn#t have any 'ind of plan. 8e still doesn#t have
any idea what 8e#s doing. 7erhaps 8e hopes to do something big b"t 8e doesn#t 'now
how to go abo"t it. Let me tell yo"$ &ondy$ all 8e is so far is a nat"ral force. 8e#s
hopelessly "ninformed abo"t politics. 8e#s a complete barbarian abo"t economics. 8e
sho"ld have ta'en over the Ch"rch$ they do have some e+perience in ... -ometimes 8e
seems to me 0"st li'e a child.F
FDon#t yo" believe that$ I"da$F &ondy warned him earnestly. F8e 'nows
perfectly well what 8e wants. hat#s why 8e threw 8imself into ind"stry. 8e#s more
modern that we previo"sly tho"ght.
F!nd"stry is 0"st a plaything for 8im$F 1are' ob0ected. F8e 0"st wants something
to do. 8e#s li'e some 'ind of divine childhood. &"t ! thin' ! can see what yo"#re trying
to say. 8e can do an enormo"s amo"nt of wor'$ what 8e#s capable of is overwhelming.
&"t everything 8e does is 0"st nonsense) there can#t be any 'ind of plan behind it.F
F5ven the most nonsensical things in history have been carried o"t according to
caref"lly laid plans$F E.8. &ondy declared.
F&ondy$ loo' at these papers !#ve got here$F said 1are'$ spea'ing fast. FLoo' at
each of the steps 8e#s made. !#m telling yo"$ there#s no coherenece to it at all. !t#s all 0"st
improvisation and a display of what 8e can do. he tric's 8e performs are enormo"s$
b"t they#re somehow blind$ incoherent$ conf"sed. Can#t yo" see4 here#s not a spec' of
organisation in anything 8e does. 8e came into the world "nprepared$ and that#s 8is
wea'ness. !#m impressed by 8im too$ b"t ! can still see 8is wea'nesses. 8e#s a bad
organiser and probably always has been. 8e has ideas of geni"s$ b"t they#re incoherent. !
can#t "nderstand why yo" still can#t see this$ &ondy$ somebody as sly as yo" areGF
Fhere#s nothing yo" can do against 8im$F tho"ght &ondy. 8e ta'es hold of yo"r
so"l and yo"#ve had it. !f 8e can#t pers"ade yo" by reason 8e sends some mirac"lo"s
enlightenment to ta'e yo". 3o" 'now what happened to Wavel.F
F3o" thin' yo" can r"n away from 8im$F said 1are'$ Fb"t !#m going to h"nt 8im
down and !#m already close on 8is heels. !#ve already got to 'now 8im well eno"gh and
! might be able to prepare a warrant for 8is arrest. /ppearance) infinite$ invisible$
faceless. 7lace of /bode) everywhere in pro+imity of an atomic motor. ,cc"pation)
mystic comm"nism. ,ffences Warranting /rrest) theft$ "na"thorised activity as a
medical doctor$ illegal assembly$ impeding official activity$ etc. Disting"ishing
characteristic) omnipotence. o be arrested on sight.F
F*ow yo"#re ma'ing a 0o'e of it$F said &ondy with a sigh. F!t#s not a la"ghing
matter. 8e#s overpowered "s.F
F*ot yetGF e+claimed 1are'. FListen$ &ondy$ 8e still doesn#t 'now how to
govern. When 8e#s tried to do something new 8e#s made a complete mess of it$ s"ch as
throwing 8imself straight into massive over(prod"ction instead of first b"ilding some
mirac"lo"s railway system. *ow 8e#s got 8imself into a real mess$ and all the things
8e#s made are no good for anything. /ll this mirac"lo"s ab"ndance has been a complete
waste. -econdly$ 8e penetrated all the offices with 8is mysticism and stopped all the
administration wor' 0"st when it#s most needed to 'eep order. 3o" can have a revol"tion
any time yo" want$ b"t leave officialdom alone. even if yo" want the end of the world$
yo" first destroy the "niverse and leave officialdom till last. hat#s 0"st how it is$ &ondy.
/nd thirdly$ 0"st li'e some hopelessly naive armchair comm"nist$ 8e#s destroyed the
money system$ and th"s$ at a stro'e$ crippled the distrib"tion of goods. 8e didn#t 'now
that the laws of the mar'et are stronger than the laws of Eod. 8e didn#t 'now that
man"fact"ring witho"t commerce is simply nonsense. 8e didn#t 'now anything. 8e
went abo"t it li'e ... li'e ... Well$ in short$ 8e destroys with one hand what 8e ma'es with
the other. We have mirac"lo"s ab"ndance$ and at the same time catastrophic need. 8e#s
omnipotent$ and all 8e#s created is chaos. ! can believe that at one time 8e really did
create the laws of nat"re and the dinosa"rs and the mo"ntains and anything else yo"
might name. b"t commerce$ &ondy$ ! can g"arantee yo" 8e did not create o"r modern
system of ind"stry and commerce beca"se 8e clearly doesn#t have the slightest idea abo"t
it. *o$ &ondy$ ind"stry and commerce are definitely not from Eod.F
FWait$F E.8. &ondy interr"pted him$ F! 'now that what 8e#s done has been a
catastrophe$ a bo"ndless catastrophe ... &"t what can we do abo"t it4F
F=or now$ nothing. /ll !#m doing for the time being$ my dear &ondy$ is watching
and comparing. !t#s a new &abylon. Loo' at these papers here$ they#re p"blished by the
Ch"rch and s"ggest #the present conf"sion in matters of religion might well have
originated$ with Diabolic sophistication$ from the =reemasons#. he national press p"ts
the blame on the News$ the right is blaming the left$ farmers are h"rling themselves at
liberals. !t#s all abo"t to b"rst. /nd believe me$ even this still won#t be the main battle. !
thin' the real m"ddle is only 0"st beginning to get started. Come closer$ &ondy$ ! want to
tell yo" something.F
FWhat4F
FDo yo" thin' 8e ... yo" 'now what ! mean by #8e# ... Do yo" thin' there#s 0"st
one of them.
F! don#t 'now$F &ondy replied. FDoes it matter4F
F5verything depends on it$F answered 1are'. FCome closer$ &ondy. Listen.F
Chapter 'VII
The ,ammer and the #tar
F&rother of the =irst Watch$ what do yo" see to the 5ast4F as'ed the Henerable
1aster$ dressed all in blac' b"t for his white leather apron and a silver hammer in his
hand.
F! see the 1aster 1asons assembled in the Wor'shop and Ieady to Wor'$F said
the =irst Watch.
he Henerable 1aster str"c' with his hammer. F&rother of the -econd Watch$
what do yo" see to the West4F
F! see the 1aster 1asons assembled in the Wor'shop and Ieady to Wor'.F
he Henerable 1aster str"c' three times with his hammer) FLet Wor'
Commence.F
he brothers of the F8ammer and -tarF lodge of the =ree =rench 1asons sat$ their
eyes fi+ed on their Henerable 1aster$ 1ister E.8. &ondy$ who had called this
e+traordinary meeting. he Wor'shop was as 2"iet as a ch"rch. !ts walls were h"ng with
blac' drapes in which were embroidered the ="ndamental enets. &ondy$ the Henerable
1aster$ loo'ed pale and tho"ghtf"l.
F&rothers$F he began after a while$ F! have called this e+traordinary ...
e+traordinary meeting in order ... in order to ... against the secrept precepts of o"r order ...
more than 0"st a formality. ! 'now ... 'now this is a violation of the ceremonial ... the
holy character or o"r mission ... ! call on yo" to pass ... to pass a motion ... on a matter of
great serio"sness ... a matter facing the p"blic ... a matter of enormo"s scope.F
here was general agitation. Fhe Henerable 1aster is entitled to lay this tas' on
"s$F the N"de+ =ormidabilis declared.
F-o$F E.8. &ondy began$ Fthis is beca"se .. o"r order ... o"r order is faced with a
concerted attac' from the Ch"rch. hey claim that o"r cent"ries(old .... o"r secret
activities ... are in some way connected with the pec"liar ... with the regrettable events ..
which have been ta'ing place in the fields of ind"stry and religion. 7apers s"pporting the
Ch"rch contend that the free(thin'ing lodges ... deliberately ... deliberately s"mmoned "p
demonic powers. hey claim ... that what we do .... o"r actions ... in the face of the
c"rrent catastrophe ... for the benefit of man'ind ... in hono"r of the -"preme &eing. ! ...
! open the floor.F
here was a period of ceremonial silence and then the -econd Watch got to his
feet.
F&rothers$ at this historical moment ! welcome these$ as it were$ profo"nd words
from o"r Henerable 1aster. 8e tells "s$ so to spea'$ of #regrettable events#. 3esG We
who$ as it were$ strive solely for the benefit of man'ind$ it is o"r d"ty to declare that all
these regrettable miracles$ enlightenments$ fits of neighbo"rly love and other dist"rbances
are events which$ so to spea'$ are highly regrettable. !t is o"r d"ty$ with all the secrecy
appropriate to o"r order$ to deny$ as it were$ any connection with the regrettable facts
which$ so to spea'$ are not a part of the traditions or the progressive principles of o"r
great order. &rothers$ these regrettable principles are$ so to spea'$ f"ndamentally
opposed to that which$ as o"r Henerable 1aster 2"ite rightly e+pressed it$ and beca"se the
Ch"rch$ as it were$ has ta'en "p arms against "s$ and if we bear in mind$ if ! may e+press
myself th"s$ the highest benefit of man'ind$ and ! therefore propose$ in the f"llest sense
of the word$ that we show o"r f"ll s"pport for these regrettable events$ as o"r Henerable
1aster so rightly p"t it.F
he N"de+ =ormidabilis stood.
FHenerable 1aster$ ! wo"ld li'e to say something if ! may. ! wo"ld certainly
agree that certain events have been spo'en of here$ and in a regrettable way. !$ however$
ta'e the view that these events are not as regrettable as o"r brother$ the -econd Watch$
seems to thin'. !t is tr"e that ! am not clear as to which events o"r brother$ the -econd
Watch$ has in mind$ b"t if he is thin'ing of the religio"s assemblies which ! attend myself
then ! forced to the opinion that he is mista'en$ or even$ to p"t it plainly$ that he is
wrong.F
F! propose$F said another brother$ Fthat the matter sho"ld be p"t to a vote to decide
whether the aforementioned events are regrettable or not.F
F! s"ggest$F said another voice$ Fwe appoint a select committee to e+amine these
regrettable events. hree members sho"ld be abo"t the right si%e.F
F=ive membersGF
Fwelve membersGF
F&rothers$ pleaseGF he N"de+ =ormidabilis said$ F! have still to finish spea'ing.F
he Henerable 1aster str"c' with his hammer. F&rother N"de+ =ormidabilis has
the floor.F
F&rothers$F the N"de+ began gently$ Flet "s not s2"abble over words. he events
that have provo'ed these regrettable opinions are of a nat"re that deserves o"r interest$
o"r observation and even o"r attention. ! do not deny that ! have ta'en part in a n"mber
of religio"s circles thro"gh which the special grace of Eod has been conferred. ! hope
this is in no way in any conflict with the r"les or discipline of the =reemasons.F
F*ot at all$F several voices agreed.
F="rther$ ! admit that ! have myself had the hono"r of carrying o"t a n"mber of
small miracles. ! do not believe that this is in conflict with my ran' or my position.F
FCertainly not.F
F! can therefore ass"re yo"$ based on my own e+perience$ that these events$ far
from being regrettable$ are dignified$ elevating and hono"rable$ that they contrib"te to the
well(being of man'ind and the glory of the -"preme &eing$ and that$ from the
=reemasons# point of view$ there cannot be any ob0ection to them. ! propose that this
lodge declare its ne"trality towards all these manifestations of the presence of Eod.F
he =irst Watch stood and said)
F&rothers$ ! myself don#t 2"ite believe all of these things$ ! haven#t seen anything
and ! don#t 'now anything$ b"t ! do believe it#s better for "s be in favo"r of something
religio"s than against. ! thin' there#s nothing in it$ myself$ b"t why do we have to go and
ma'e an anno"ncement abo"t it4 -o ! s"ggest we let it be 'nown$ secretly$ that we have
the best information abo"t this and that we agree that things sho"ld stay as they are.F
he Henerable 1aster raised his eyes and said$ F&rothers$ !#d li'e to draw yo"r
attention to the fact that the Confederation of !nd"stry has elected the /bsol"te its
honorary president. !#d also li'e to point o"t that shares in 15/-$ 'nown as #shares in the
/bsol"te# might well contin"e to rise. here is also a donor who wishes not to be named
who has given a tho"sand of these shares to the Widows and ,rphans ="nd of o"r lodge.
7lease carry on.F
F!n this case$F the -econd Watch declared$ F! wo"ld li'e to ta'e bac'$ so to spea'$
these regrettable events. -een from the highest point of view$ ! am totally in agreement.
! "rge "s all to disc"ss the matter$ as it were$ from the highest point of view.F
he Henerable 1aster raised his eyes and said$ F! need to point o"t that the
-"preme Lodge intends to iss"e its own instr"ctions abo"t recent events. !t recommends
masons to 0oin these religio"s circles and organise them along =reemason lines as
apprentice wor'shops. !n this way$ new wor'shops will operate in a spirit of
enlightenment and opposition to the Ch"rch. ! recomment yo" loo' into denominations
of vario"s 'inds) monistic$ temperance$ =letscherian$ vegetarian$ and so on. 5ach of
these circles follows a different faith$ and we can gain practical e+perience as to which of
them is best for the benefit of man'ind and the glory of the -"preme being. he -"preme
Lodge instr"cts all masons to carry o"t these commands. 7lease$ carry on with the
disc"ssion.F
Chapter 'VIII
-ight Time in the "diting .oom
The 1eo$le2s 3rien" had a wider circ"lation than any other Catholic or pop"lar
0o"rnal$ b"t the editorial staff was nonetheless very limited. which is why at half past nine
in the evening the only people in the office were the night editor$ 1ister 6oS]9l (Eod
'nows why night editors always smell so strongly of pipe tobacco) and =ather NoSt$
whistling thro"gh his teeth as he wrote the leader article for the following day.
N"st then 1ister *ovotn<$ the typesetter came in with some fresh proofs in his
hand. FWhat abo"t this leader$ then$ what abo"t this leader4F he growled. F8ow soon
can we set it4F
=ather NoSt stopped whistling. FHery soon now$ 1ister *ovotn<$F he said
h"rriedly. Fhere#s one word$ tho"gh$ ! need to thin' of first. 8ave we already had
#machine from 8ell#4F
Fwo days ago.F
F/ha. /nd have we had #vicio"s scheme#4F
Fhat too.F
F #Hillaino"s tric'#4F
FWe "sed that one today.F
F #Eodless invention#4F
F/t least si+ times$F said 6oS]9l.
F,h$ that#s a pity$F said =ather NoSt with a sigh. F! do thin' we co"ld have p"t o"r
ideas to better "se. 8ow do yo" li'e today#s leader$ 1ister *ovotn<4F
F!t#s good$F the typesetter replied. &"t we need to get it into print.F
Fyo"#ll have it right away$F =ather NoSt told him. F ! thin' they were 2"ite satisfied
with the early iss"e "pstairs. 8is Erace the bishop will come down$ yo"#ll see. #NoSt$#
he#ll say$ #a nice piece of invective$ NoSt#$ he#ll say. 8ave we already had #insane f"nfair#4F
FWe have.F
F,h$ that#s a pity. We#ll have to p"t some new batteries in and h"rry. 8is Erace
did tell me we wo"ld have to h"rryG 5verything has its time$ b"t we don#t have eternity.
1ister *ovotn<$ can yo" thin' of a s"itable phrase4F
F8ow abo"t #malicio"s folly#. ,r #perverse malevolence#4F
Fhat will be alright$F said =ather NoSt with relief. FWhere do yo" get s"ch good
ideas from$ 1ister *ovotn<4F
F=rom old copies of The 1eo$le2s 3rien". &"t this leader$ =atherGF
F!t won#t be long now$ 0"st wait a little while. #he malicio"s folly and perverse
malevolence shown by members of some circles who$ with their worship of &aal$ poll"te
the p"re waters that flow from the roc' of -aint 7eter ...# ah$ yes$ soon be ready$ #Ioc' of
-aint 7eter$ poll"te the p"re waters$# yes$ #and p"t in their place the golden calf that serves
the Devil or the /bsol"te ....F
F8ave yo" got that leader yet4F came a voice from the doorway.
F7raise the Lord$ it#s his Erace$F =ather NoSt e+claimed.
F8ave yo" got that leader yet4F Consecrating &ishop Linda repeated as he strode
into the room. F/nd who the 8ell wrote that leader in the early edition4 yo" made a
right mess of things thereG What bloody fool wrote that4F
Fh..that was me$F =ather NoSt st"ttered. Fy..yo"r Erace$F he cowered$ F! ... ! only
tho"ght...F
F!t#s not yo"r 0ob to thin'$F &ishop Linda snarled as spar's of light reflected
horribly from his glasses. FN"st loo' at this$F he said as he cr"mpled an early copy of The
1eo$le2s 3rien" in his fist and threw it down at =ather NoSt. F8e only tho"ghtG Loo' at
him. 8e only tho"ghtG Why didn#t yo" phone and as'4 3o" sho"ld have as'ed what yo"
were s"pposed to write. /nd what abo"t yo"$ 6oS]9l$ what were yo" thin'ing of$ letting
this go to print4 3o" only tho"ght too$ did yo"4 *ovotn<4F
F3es sir$F the typesetter groaned$ his 'nees sha'ing.
FWhy did yo" p"t this into print4 3o" only tho"ght too$ ! s"ppose.F
F5r$ no sirF$ the typesetter protested. F! 0"st have to set whatever !#m given$ sir.F
F*o(one has to do anything "nless ! tell them to$F the bishop declared
concl"sively. FNoStG -it down and read this r"bbish yo" p"t o"t this morning. Eo on$
readGF
Fhe p"blic in this co"ntry ...$F =ather NoSt read with trem"lo"s voice$ Fhe p"blic
in this co"ntry has long been dist"rbed by .... villaino"s tric' ....F
FWhat#s that4F
FHillaino"s tric'$ yo"r Erace$F =ather NoSt groaned. F! .. ! only tho"ght .... ! ... !
can see now that ...F
FWhat4F
F1aybe that was a little bit strong) #villaino"s tric'#.F
F! sho"ld say it was a bit strong. Carry on readingGF
F...#villaino"s tric' with what they call the /bsol"te... that freemasons$ News and
other progressives "se to fool the world. !t has been scientifically proven ... # F
FWell$ fancy that$ NoStGF the bishop sho"ted. F-omething#s been scientifically
provenG Carry on readingGF
F... scientifically proven$F st"ttered poor =ather NoSt$ F that this so(called
/bsol"te ... is 0"st a swindle perpetrated by "nbelievers ... 0"st as attempts by the
media ...F
Fhat#s eno"gh now$ =ather NoSt$F said the consecrating bishop$ s"ddenly
becoming gentle. FWrite down this leader) #it has been scientifically proven ...# $ got that
so far4... #proven that !$ =ather NoSt$ am an ass$ a noodle$ an incompetent ...# . Eot that$
have yo"4F
F3es yo"r Erace$F whispered the h"miliated =ather NoSt. F7lease carry on$ sir.F
Fhrow that in the bin$ sone$F the bishop said$ and see if yo" can get yo"r st"pid
head aro"nd this. 8ave yo" seen today#s papers4F
F3es$ yo"r Er...F
F!#m not so s"re abo"t that. his morning$ =ather NoSt$ the first p"blication to
come o"t was written by the monists. /ccording to them$ the /bsol"te is that single
entity that the monists have always ac'nowledged as the tr"e god$ and so the c"lt of the
/bsol"te is perfectly in accord with their teachings. Iead it$ have yo"4F
F! have r...F
F/nd the freemasons too$ they tell their members they sho"ld do what they can to
enco"rage and develop the /bsol"te. Iead it4F
F! ...F
F/nd at the L"theran synod$ -"perintendent 1aartens gave a five ho"r long
speech proving that the /bsol"te was identical with Eod the 7rovider. Iead that$ have
yo"4F
F! did r ...F
F/nd at the -eventh !nternational the I"ssian delegate$ 7ar"s'in(Iebenfeld$
"rged that Comrade Eod sho"ld be hono"red beca"se 8e had shown 8is sympathy for
the wor'ing man by going into the factories with him. 8e adds that we sho"ld offer
than's to the -"preme Comrade for deciding to go to wor' himself instead of e+ploiting
the wor'ers. 8e proposes there sho"ld be a general stri'e in all 8is factories as a sign of
solidarity ( at least$ "ntil a secret meeting of the presidi"m cancelled the proposal beca"se
it wasn#t the right time. Iead that$ did yo"4F
F ! d...F
F!n the end$ they passed a resol"tion that the /bsol"te is the e+cl"sive property of
the wor'ing classes$ and the b"rgeoisie have no right to praise 8im or to benefit from any
of 8is miracles. hey resolved to c"ltivate the c"lt of the /bsol"te for the wor'ers$ and
to b"ild "p a secret stoc' of weapons$ 0"st in case the capitalists try to e+ploit the
/bsol"te for themselves. Did yo" read that4F
F3es yo"r E...F
Fhere#s been a speech by the =reethin'ers$ a p"blication by the -alvation /rmy$ a
comm"ni2": from the heosophical -ociety /dyar$ an open letter addressed to the
/bsol"te and signed by the -mall Land(owners# /ssociation$ a declaration by the -ociety
of Caro"sel ,wners signed by its president$ N. &inder$ a special edition of the
"nderta'ers# maga%ine and a special edition of 4oices from the Un"er&orl"$ The
Anaba$tist Rea"er and The Abstinent# Iead all of this$ have yo"4F
F3es$ y...F
F-o$ my son$ yo" can see that everyone everywhere is celebrating the /bsol"te
and claiming it for themselves$ bestowing hono"rs on it and ma'ing wonderf"l offers to
it$ ma'ing it an honorary member of theirs and saying it#s their benefactor$ their protector$
their Eod and ! don#t 'now what else. 1eanwhile$ here$ there#s some l"natic =ather NoSt (
o"r very own =ather NoSt$ if yo" please$ o"r own little =ather NoSt ( who goes ro"nd
sho"ting that it#s all a big con tric' and scientifically proven swindleG 3o"#ve really
dropped "s in it for Christ#s sa'eGF
F&"t yo"r Erace$ ! had been ordered to ... to write against ... against these ...
apparitions ...F
F-o yo" had$F the consecrating bishop interr"pted him sternly. F&"t how the 8ell
didn#t yo" see the sit"ation had changed4 NoSt$F the bishop sho"ted as he stood erect.
F,"r ch"rches are empty$ and their floc's are r"nning to the /bsol"te. /re yo" too
bloody st"pid to see that if we want to 'eep o"r floc's for o"rselves we need to get the
/bsol"te on o"r side. We need to get atomic carb"rators in all o"r ch"rches. &"t yo"$
yo"r Ieverence$ that#s something yo" can#t "nderstand. N"st remember this) the /bsol"te
has to be wor'ing for "s. it has to be something we own$ id est$ something we own and
no(one else does. Capiscis$ mi fili4F
FCapisco$F =ather NoSt whispered.
FDeo gratiasG *ow NoSt$ what yo" do now is yo" t"rn right aro"nd. 3o"#re going
to write a nice little leader for "s$ yo"#re going to tell everyone that the 8oly
Congregation hears the wishes of them that have faith and has accepted the /bsol"te into
the bosom of the Ch"rch. *ovotn<$ here#s an apostolic decree dealing with the matter.
get it on the front page ( large and heavy print. 6oS]9l$ write something for the City
pages that E.8. &ondy is ta'ing holy baptism from the s"preme pastor on -"nday$ and
that we#re delighted to have him. "nderstand4 /nd NoSt$ little NoSt$ sit down and start
writing ... Wait$ yo"#ll need some 'ind of strong words for the opening.F
3es$ yo"r Erace) perhaps something li'e #malicio"s folly and perverse
malevolence shown by members of some circles ...# 4F
FEood. *ow$ write this) #he malicio"s folly and perverse malevolence shown by
members of some circles has been attempting to lead o"r people along the wrong path for
many months now. hese heretics have been declaring p"blicly that the /bsol"te is
something other than the one tr"e Eod to which we have been praying since we were
children ...# . Eot that4 #7raying to with the faith of a child ... faith and love of a child ... #.
Eot that4 *e+t ...F
Chapter 'I'
The Canonisation Process
!#m s"re yo" will "nderstand that accepting the /bsol"te into the bosom of the
Ch"rch was$ in the circ"mstances$ 2"ite s"rprising. !t was achieved simply by 7apal
edict$ and the College of Cardinals$ faced with a fait accompli$ was left with nothing
more to decide than whether the /bsol"te co"ld be given holy baptism. !t was decided
not to ta'e this step. &aptism of Eod was$ after all$ a clear part of Ch"rch tradition (vi%
Nohn the &aptist) b"t it wo"ld be necessary for the baptised to be present. /nd not only
wo"ld 8e need to be present$ b"t there was also the politically sensitive 2"estion of what
a"thority wo"ld be the /bsol"te#s godfather. -o the holy congregation decided to
recommend that$ at the ne+t pontifical mass$ the 8oly =ather sho"ld pray for a new wing
of the Ch"ch$ which was created with great celebration. !t also became Ch"rch doctrine
to ac'nowledge baptism by holiness$ by service and by hono"rable deeds as well as
baptism by sacrament and by blood.
!n other words$ three days before the edict was iss"ed the 7ope granted another
a"dience with 1ister E.8. &ondy who had already spent forty ho"rs in disc"ssion with
the papal secretary$ 1onsignor C"latti.
/ simplified proced"re was introd"ced to beatify the /bsol"te by Fs"per c"lt"
immemorabiliF in ac'nowledgement of the 8is holiness$ and at almost the same time an
orderly$ b"t accelerated proced"re was implemented to canonise the now &lessed
/bsol"te. here was$ of co"rse another important difference$ in that the /bsol"te was not
declared a saint b"t declared Eod. / deification commission was appointed$ made "p of
members of the best teachers and pastors the Ch"rch had to offer. 7roc"rator Dei was the
famo"s archbishop of Henice$ Cardinal Doctor Haresi$ and the /dvocat"s Diaboli was
1onsignor C"latti.
Cardinal Haresi cited seventeen tho"sand testimonies of miracles performed by
the /bsol"te$ almost all of them signed by cardinals$ patriarchs$ primates$ bishops$
princes of the Ch"rch$ archbishops$ representatives of orders and abbots. 5ach testimony
was s"pported by appendices containing confirmation of medical e+pertise$ e+pert
appraisal$ opinions from professors of nat"ral science$ technology and economics and
finally concl"ded with eye(witnesses# signat"res$ all properly and legally doc"mented by
a commissioner for oaths. /s the monsignor e+plained$ these seventeen tho"sand
doc"ments showed 0"st a tiny fraction of the miracles act"ally performed by the /bsol"te$
which$ according to conservative estimates$ was now already well over thirty million.
he 7roc"rator Dei also proc"red a wide range of e+pert appraisals from the best
scientific specialists in the world. 7rofessor Eardien for instance$ rector of the =ac"lty of
1edicine in 7aris$ finished a thoro"gh analysis by saying) F... many of the cases
presented to "s for e+amination were$ from a medical point of view$ entirely witho"t hope
and co"ld not be c"red in any way 'nown to science (paralysis$ cancer of the throat$
blindness after both eyes were s"rgically removed$ disability res"lting from both lower
limbs having been removed$ death ca"sed by severance of the head from the body$
strang"lation with the victim left hanging for two days$ etc.). With this in mind$ the
medical fac"lty at the -orbonne concl"des that attrib"ting these healings to a miracle ( as
they call it ( can only be the res"lt of a complete lac' of 'nowledge of anatomical and
pathological conditions$ a lac' of clinical e+perience$ and total "nfamiliarity with medical
practice. ,n the other hand ( and this is not a possibility we wo"ld wish to e+cl"de ( they
may have been the wor' of higher forces$ "nlimited by the laws of nat"re or any
'nowledge of them.F
7rofessor 1eadow$ a psychologist at Elasgow wrote) F!t is clear that these
incidents co"ld not have ta'en place witho"t the involvement of a thin'ing being$ capable
of association$ memory$ and even logical 0"dgement$ a being which carries o"t these
mental operations witho"t the means of a brain or nervo"s system. his offers splendid
confirmation of my cr"shing criti2"e of 7rofessor 1ayer$ in which ! p"t forward the idea
of psychophysical parallelism. ! assert that the so(called /bsol"te is a thin'ing being
possessed of conscio"sness and intelligence$ albeit of a sort little researched by science so
far.F
7rofessor L"pen at the &rno !nstit"te of echnology wrote) FConsidering its its
prod"ctive capacity$ the /bsol"te is a force deserving of o"r highest deference.F
Wilibald$ the famo"s chemist at Mbingen$ wrote) Fhe /bsol"te has all the
conditions needed for e+istence and scientific development$ as it clearly meets all the
conditions of 5instein#s theory of relativity.F
he chronicler will not bother yo" any f"rther with the e+pert appraisals
contrib"ted by the world#s scientific a"thorities. and it#s all been p"blished by the Hatican
anyway.
he canonisation process contin"ed at high speed$ and an assembly of dogmatists
and e+egesists prepared a paper based on the writings of the fo"nding fathers of the
Ch"rch that showed that the /bsol"te was identical with the hird 7erson of Eod.
&"t before the deification of Eod co"ld be celebrated the patriarch of !stanb"l
declared$ as head of the eastern Ch"rch$ the identity of the /bsol"te with the =irst 7erson
of Eod$ the Creator. his opinion was clearly heretical$ b"t it was adopted by certain old(
school Catholics$ the circ"mcised Christians of the Ch"rch in 5thiopia$ the -wiss
evangelicals$ conconformists and some of the larger /merican sects$ with the res"lt that a
lively theological debate flared "p. /s for the News$ a secret doctrine began to spread
among them claiming that the /bsol"te was the ancient god &aal. liberal News
ac'nowledged 2"ite openly that in that case they were worshippers of &aal.
wo tho"sand delegates of =ree hin'ers met in &asel where the /bsol"te was
declared their god. hey began an incredibly fierce diatribe against priests of all
denominations who$ as the resol"tion p"t it$ Fwish to e+ploit the god of science and drag
it into the filthy cage of Ch"rch dogmas and priestly sophistries where it will be left to
starveF. Eod however$ visible to of every progressive$ modern thin'er$ Fwill have
nothing to do with the mediaeval nonsense of these 7harisees. 8is domain will permit no
tho"ght b"t free tho"ght$ only the Congress of &asel is a"thorised to set the beliefs and
rit"als aro"nd =ree Ieligion.F
/bo"t the same time$ the ;nion of 1onists in Eermany laid the fo"ndation stone
for he Cathedral of Eod the /tomic in Leip%ig. he event was one of festival and
celebration$ b"t there were some sc"ffles in which si+teen people were in0"red and
LMttgen$ the famo"s physicist$ had his glasses bro'en.
&y the way$ that /"t"mn some religio"s revelations also too' place in &elgian
Congo and =rench -enegambia. With no forewarning$ a n"mber of negroes attac'ed and
ate some missionaries and began to bow down to some new idols which they called #/to#
or #/lolto#. it t"rned o"t later that these were atomic motors and that Eerman officers and
agents had had a hand in the matter. !n /rabia$ d"ring the o"tb"rst of !slamic passion that
er"pted in 1ecca in December of that year$ it was shown that a n"mber of =rench
emissaries had hidden twenty light atomic motors near the 6a#aba. he res"lting riots of
1ohammedans in 5gypt and ripoli$ and the massacres in /rabia$ cost the lives of aro"nd
thirty tho"sand 5"ropeans.
he final deification of the /bsol"te too' place in Iome on the 12th December.
-even tho"sand priests carrying lighted candes accompanied the 8oly =ather into -aint
7eter#s Cathedral$ where a twelve ton carb"rator had been installed behind the main altar$
donated to the 8oly -ee by 15/-. he ceremony lasted five ho"rs$ and 2$000 believers
and onloo'ers were cr"shed to death. 5+actly at midday$ the pope proclaimed F!n nomine
Dei De"sF$ and at that moment all the bells in all the Catholic ch"rches in all the world
rang o"t in 0oy$ all the bishops and all the priests t"rned away from their altars and
declared to the believers) F8abem"s De"m.F
Chapter ''
#t. Kilda
-t. 6ilda is a small island$ hardly more than a piece of volcanic roc' left over
from the 7liocene$ some way to the west of the 8ebrides. a few st"nted b"shes$ some
patches of heather and grass yo" don#t find anywhere else$ many nesting seag"lls and
semi(arctic b"tterflies of the polyommat"s family. hat$ in short$ is all the life on this
forsa'en g"ardpost of o"r continent$ st"c' between the incessant po"nding of the sea and
the e2"ally incessant rain of the clo"ds. /part from that$ -t. 6ilda has always been
"ninhabited and always will be.
8owever$ toward the end of December$ 8is 1a0esty#s -hip$ Dragon dropped
anchor there. a swarm of woodwor'ers came o"t from the ship carrying beams and
boards$ and by evening they had b"ilt a large$ low wooden h"t. he ne+t day came
painters and decorators bearing with them the very best and most comfortable f"rnit"re.
,n the third day$ the bowels of the ship gave forth stewards and coo's and wine(waiters
who e2"ipped the h"t with croc'ery$ wine$ preserved foods and everything else needed
for a man of c"lt"re who was also both powerf"l and partic"lar.
,n the morning of the fo"rth day$ the 5nglish prime(minister$ -ir ,#7atterney$
arrived on 81- 5dwin. half an ho"r later the /merican ambassador$ 8oratio &"mm$
arrived. then$ each in t"rn and each on a warship$ came the Chinese plenipotentiary$ 1r.
6ei$ the =rench prime(minister$ 1onsie"r D"die"$ Eeneral &"chtin from the I"ssian
5mpire$ the !mperial Eerman chancellor$ Dr. W"rm$ the !talian minister$ 7rince rivellino
and the Napanese ambassador$ &aron 3anato. here were si+teen 5nglish g"nboats
cr"ising aro"nd the island to prevent any 0o"rnalists landing$ as this meeting of the
world#s s"preme powers$ promptly called by the all(powerf"l -ir ,#7atterney$ had to ta'e
place in the greatest secrecy. !ndeed$ there was even a Danish whaling schooner$ the *yls
8ans$ that was s"n' by torpedo after it had tried to slide past the bloc'ade of g"nboats by
night. not only the twelve man crew were drowned that night$ b"t also the political
correspondent of the Chicago rib"ne$ 1r. Noe 8ashe'. *onetheless$ 1r. &ill 7rittom$
reporter for the F*ew 3or' 8eraldF was on -t. 6ilda all that time and hard at wor'
disg"ised as a wine waiter$ and we have him to than' for the few reports abo"t this
historic meeting that s"rvived the catastrophic events that were to follow.
!n 1r. &ill 7rittom#s opinion$ this meeting of political leaders too' place in s"ch
an isolated spot so that the the /bsol"te co"ld have no direct infl"ence on it. /nywere
else it wo"ld have been possible for the /bsol"te to creep its way into this assembly of
eminent men in the form of inspiration$ enlightenment or even as a miracle$ and that$ of
co"rse$ is something "nheard of in higher political circles. he conference#s primary
ob0ective seems to have been to achieve agreement between the colonial powers. nations
had to agree not to s"pport religio"s movements on the territory of other states. his was
in response to the agitation instigated by Eermany in Congo and -enegambia$ as well as
the covert =rench infl"ence on the 1ehdi "prising in 1ohammedan areas governed by
the 5nglish$ and in partic"lar the Napanese carb"rators sent to &engal where the revolt
committed by a n"mber of different sects was horrifying. 1eetings too' place behind
closed doors$ and the only report p"blished was one saying that Eermany wo"ld
ac'nowledge spheres of infl"ence in 6"rdistan and that Napan wo"ld ac'nowledge
spheres of infl"ence in a n"mber of Eree' islands. he /nglo(Napanese alliance$ and the
=rench(Eerman(I"ssian alliance seemed to settled this matter with an "n"s"al level of
friendly agreement$ or even enth"siasm.
hat afternoon$ E.8. &ondy arrived at the -"preme Co"ncil on his private
g"nboat.
!t was not "ntil five o#cloc' (5nglish time) that the celebrated diplomats
ad0o"rned for l"nch and that &ill 7rittom first had the chance to hear what the
representatives of the highest powers had to say with his own ears. ,ver l"nch they
tall'ed abo"t sport and actresses. -ir ,#7atterney$ with his mane of white hair li'e a poet
and and his alert eyes$ tal'ed e+citedly abo"t salmon fishing with 8is 5+cellency
1onsie"r D"die"$ the prime(minister of =rance$ whose lively movements$ lo"d speech
and a certain F0e ne sais 2"oiF betrayed him as the former lawyer that he was. &aron
3anato ref"sed any drin' offered to him and merely smiled and listened as if his mo"th
were f"ll of water. Doctor W"rm loo'ed thro"gh his doc"ments$ Eeneral &"chtin wal'ed
"p and down the room with 7rince rivellino$ 8oratio &"mm performed a series of
caramboles by himself on the billiard table (! have seen his e+cellent overhand triple(
b"%ar with my own eyes$ a move which any connoisse"r of the game co"ld only admire)$
while 1r. 6ei$ a mandarin in the 5mpire of the -"n and loo'ing li'e a very dry and
yellow old man$ was going thro"gh some 'ind of &"ddhist rosary.
-"ddenly all the diplomats formed a gro"p aro"nd 1onsie"r D"die" who was
saying$ F3es gentlemen$ c^est _a. We cannot remain indifferent to the /bsol"te. 5ither
we ac'nowledge it or we deny it. We in =rance are more inclined to the latter approach.F
Fhat is beca"se in yo"r co"ntry it seems to be antimilitarist$F said 7rince
rivellino spitef"lly.
F*o gentlemen$F D"die" e+claimed$ Fwe cannot depend on thisG he army of
=rance is "naffected. /ntimilitarist$ bahG !n =rance there have been so many
antimilitaristsG Eentlemen$ this /bsol"te is something of which yo" m"st be caref"l. it is
a demagog"e$ a comm"nist$ a bigot and the Devil 'nows what else ( b"t always it is a
radical. ,"i$ "n rabo"liste$ c^est _a. !t goes by the strangest of pop"lar names. !t
associates with the crowd. !n yo"r co"ntry$ 3o"r 5+cellency$F he said$ s"ddenly t"rning
to 7rince rivellino$ Fit is a nationalist$ dr"n' with del"sions of the Ioman 5mpire. b"t
yo" sho"ld be caref"l$ 3o"r 5+cellency$ that is what it does in the cities b"t in the co"ntry
it associates with the Ch"rch and performs miracles in the name of the Hirgin. With one
hand it wor's for the Hatican and with the other for the O"irinale. 5ither it has some
scheme or other or ... or ! don#t 'now. Eentlemen$ we can all say 2"ite openly that the
/bsol"te ca"ses diffic"lties for all of "s.F
F!t ta'es an interest in sport too in /merica$F said 8oratio &"mm tho"ghtf"lly as
he leant on his billiard c"e. F!ndeed$ it#s a great sportsman and li'es every 'ind of game.
!t#s achieved some fantastic records in sport as well as in religion. !t#s a socialist. !t#s in
with the drin'ers$ and changes water into wine. ,ne time$ at a ban2"et in the White
8o"se it$ er$ it got everyone really dr"n'. no(one was drin'ing anything b"t water$ b"t it
t"rned the water into li2"or in their stomachs.F
Fhat is remar'able$F said -ir ,#7atterney with s"rprise$ Fto "s &ritish it seems
rather more to be a conservative. !t behaves li'e an all(powerf"l clergyman. 1eetings$
parades$ preaching on the street and s"ch things. ! rather get the impression it doesn#t li'e
"s liberals very m"ch.F
&aron 3anato smiled and told the other diplomats that the /bsol"te was very
m"ch at home in his co"ntry. F/ very$ very lovable god. 8as adapted very well. Hery
great Napanese.F
F8ow yo" mean$ Napanese4F e+post"lated Eeneral &"chtin. FWhat yo" are
tal'ing abo"t4 he absol"te is a I"ssian$ a proper I"ssian$ a -lav. he broad I"ssian
so"l$ 3o"r 5+cellency. !t 'eep company with "s lads. ,"r archimandrit$ he organise
procession for /bsol"te$ ten tho"sand candles$ many people$ thic' as seeds of poppy. /ll
Christian so"ls from all over I"ssia meet together. 8e do also miracles for "s$ o"r
father$F the general added as he made the sign of the cross and bowed from the waist.
he chancellor of the Eerman 5mpire approached$ listened in silence for a while$
and said$ F3es$ it 'nows how to give people what they want. 5verywhere it goes it ta'es
on the mentality of that place. !t seems remar'ably adaptable for its age. We have seen
how it wor's among o"r neighbo"rs. !n the C%ech lands$ for instance$ it behaves li'e a
collossal individ"alist. 5very individ"al in that co"ntry has whatever /bsol"te he wants.
!n Eermany we have an /bsol"te that is part of the state . !t immediately became highly
aware of the importance of the state. !n 7oland it has an effect li'e that of alcohol$ b"t in
Eermany its effect is ... as if ... h`here Herordn"ng$ verstehen -ie mich4a
F5ven in the Catholic areas of yo"r co"ntry4F as'ed 7rince rivellino with a
smile.
Fhere are some local variations$F Dr. W"rm tho"ght. FEentlemen$ yo" need
attach no weight to this matter. Eermany now is more "nited than ever in the past. &"t
than' yo"$ 7rince rivellino$ for the Catholic carb"rators that yo" sm"ggle into o"r land.
=ort"nately they are of very low 2"ality$ 0"st li'e all !talian prod"cts.F
F,rder gentlemen$ order$F -ir ,#7atterney intervened. FDo let "s remain ne"tral
in matters of religion. /s far as ! am concerned$ ! catch salmon "sing a do"ble rod. ,ne
time ! ca"ght one as long as this$ do yo" see4 =o"rteen po"nds.F
F/nd what of the 7apal nonce ... 4F Dr. W"rm as'ed 2"ietly.
Fhe 8oly -ee re2"ires "s to maintain peace at whatever cost. !t re2"ests that
mysticism be forbidden by law. !n 5ngland that cannot be done$ and even ... =o"rteen
po"nds it was$ ! tell yo". 8eaven$ it was all ! co"ld do to stop it 0"mping bac' into the
waterGF
he smile on &aron 3anato#s face became even more polite. F&"t ne"trality is not
something that we wish for. he /bsol"te is a great Napanese. he whole world will be
able to adopt Napanese faith. We also intend to send o"t missionaries to teach o"r faith.F
F&aron$F began -ir ,#7atterney serio"sly$ Fyo" are aware that we have e+cellent
relations between o"r two states ...F
F5ngland can adopt Napanese faith$F &aron 3anato smiled$ F and relations will be
even more e+cellent.F
FWait one min"teGF Eeneral &"chtin said lo"dly. F*o Napanese faithG !f any faith$
then orthodo+ faith. /nd yo" 'now why4 =irstly beca"se is orthodo+ faith$ and secondly
beca"se is I"ssian faith$ and thirdly beca"se the Lordwant it$ and fo"rthly$ lad$ beca"se
I"ssia have biggest army. ! tell yo" straight$ ! always s"pport army$ 0"st as we sho"ld
do. -o$ if any faith$ then o"r orthodo+ faith.F
FEentlemen$ this will not be possible$F said -ir ,#7atterney crossly. Fhis is not
what we#re here forGF
FO"ite right$F said Dr. W"rm. FWe need to agree on a "nified approach to Eod.F
FWhich one4F said 1r. 6ei$ the Chinese plenipotentiary$ s"ddenly as he finally
raised his wrin'ly eyelid.
FWhich one4F a startled Dr. W"rm repeated. F&"t there is only one god.F
F,"r Napanese god$F said &aron 3anato smiling sweetly.
Fhe orthodo+ god.F sho"ted the general$ as red as a t"r'ey. Fhere is no other.F
F&"ddha$F said 1r. 6ei$ allowing his eyelid to droop once more so that he was
now indisting"ishable from a desiccated m"mmy.
-ir ,#7atterney stood "p sharply. FEentlemen$F he said$ Fall of yo" please come
with me.F
/nd with that their e+cellencies went bac' into the debating chamber.
/t eight o#cloc' Eeneral &"chtin ran o"t of the chamber with his fists clenched
and his face p"rple. Dr. W"rm came after him$ crossly arranging his doc"ments. / red(
faced -ir ,#7atterney$ in complete disregard for decor"m$ left the chamber with his hat on
his head. *e+t$ 1onsie"r D"die" came o"t in silence$ 7rince rivellino came o"t loo'ing
very pale and &aron 3anato came o"t with a fi+ed smile on is face. he last to leave was
1r. 6ei$ his eyes downcast and his fingers wor'ing over his very long blac' rosary.
-o ended the report that 1ister &ill 7rittom p"blished in Fhe 8eraldF. here
was no official comm"ni2": iss"ed abo"t this conference ( apart from the one mentioned
above abo"t spheres of infl"ence ( and so if any resol"tion was agreed on it had little
effect. *ot least beca"se$ to "se a gynaecological phrase$ the womb of destiny was abo"t
to prod"ce something "ne+pected.
Chapter ''I
A &ispatch
-now falls on the mo"ntains. !t falls in large$ silent fla'es all thro"gh the night
b"ilding "p witho"t cease to a blan'et that lies half a meter deep on the gro"nd. -ilence
falls on the woods. he only so"nd is the infre2"ent snap of a branch that can no longer
bear the weight of snow on it$ a so"nd that penetrates only a short distance thro"gh the
thic' blan'et of silence.
hen it becomes harsher$ and an icy wind sweeps in from the north. he gentle
fla'es give way to hailstones that fly in yo"r face and pierce yo"r chee's. he fallen
snow whirls "p from the gro"nd as sharp needles. White clo"ds of it t"mble down from
the trees and and throw a bli%%ard "pwards$ twisting ro"nd and striving to reach the
dar'ness of the s'y. !t snows from the earth to the s'y.
!n the dar'ness of the woods$ the branches groan and screech. a tree brea's with a
crash and scatters the "ndergrowth as it falls. b"t these harsh noises seem to evaporate
into the howling of the wind$ they are dispersed by its whistlings$ its fitf"l th"nderings
and its c"tting screams. When$ for a short interl"de$ it pa"ses$ the s2"eals and scrapes of
the fro%en snow can be heard "nderfoot li'e powdered glass.
!n the hills above -pindler#s 1ill a postman is h"rrying with a telegram. 8e
str"ggles hard to ma'e his way thro"ght the deep snow. 8is cap is down over his ears
and held in place with a red scarf$ woollen gloves are on his hands and a colo"rf"l
m"ffler aro"nd his nec'$ b"t he is nonetheless cold. Well$ he tho"ght to himself$ in an
ho"r and a half !#ll get to &ear Halley and ! can hire a sleigh for the way down. What the
8ell made anyone want to send a telegram in weather li'e thisG
/bo"t to ma'e his way across a footbridge the postman was assa"lted by a swirl
of wind that twisted him ro"nd and ro"nd. 8is hands n"mb with the cold$ he ca"ght hold
of a sign showing to"rist information. =or Eod#s sa'e$ he said to himself$ ! can#t go on
li'e thisG / mass of snow swirled its way thro"ght the air towards him. it flew closer$
then it came at him and he co"ld do nothing b"t hold his breath. / tho"sand needles
pierced the s'in of his face$ intr"ded "nder the scarf ro"nd his nec'$ somewhere in his
tro"sers the snow fo"nd a place to enter and reach his body. "nder his fro%en clothes he
was wet. he fl"rry passed on and the messenger wished he co"ld go bac' to the post
office. F1are'F$ he said$ repeating the address to himself. F8e#s not even from hereGF
&"t it was an e+press telegram. how was he to 'now it wasn#t a family matter or ...
!t became slightly calmer$ and the postman set o"t across the footbridge and "p
the hill alongside the stream. he snow scraped "nder his heavy boots and made the
terrible cold even worse. he wind howled again$ snow fell from the trees in large
masses and the postman received one load on his head and the bac' of his nec'. a stream
of icy water ran down his bac'. &"t the worst was the way his damned feet 'ept slipping
on the snow and the steepness of the trac' as he made his way "pward. /nd 0"st then a
whirlwind of snow "nleashed itself.
!t b"rst down on him li'e a wall of whiteness. &efore he had time to t"rn his bac'
to it$ it str"c' him hard in the face even tho"gh he d"c'ed down$ gasping for breath. 8e
fell forward. he sat with his bac' to the wind b"t became afraid he wo"ld become b"ried
"nder the snow. 8e stood "p and tried to climb higher. b"t once again he slipped and fell
on both hands$ tried to stand "p and slid several meters down. 8ardly able to breathe he
ca"ght hold of a tree. Damn it$ he said to himself$ !#ve 0"st got to get "p this hillG 8e
s"cceeded in going "p a few paces b"t fell again and slid down the slope on his belly.
*ow he climbed "p on all fo"rs. his gloves were soa'ed$ his leggings let the snow in$ b"t
he had to go on "pG /bove all$ he co"ld not stay where he wasG -weat and melting snow
ran down his face. he co"ld see nothing thro"gh the snow and seemed to have lost his
way$ he wept o"t lo"d and clawed his way "pwards. &"t it is hard to climb on all fo"rs
when yo" are wearing a long overcoat. he stood "pright and str"ggled forward against the
force of the wind. =or each half a step "pward he slid two steps bac' down. he seemed to
ma'e some progress b"t his feet slipped o"t from "nder him and$ the snow stabbing
needles into his face$ he was bac' down again. When he stood "p he saw that he had lost
his stic'.
/nd all the time clo"ds of snow flew across the hills$ snatching at the crags$
swirling$ whirling$ howling. he postman sobbed and co"ghed with fear and the effort of
his 0o"rney$ he climbed "pwards$ stopped$ made another step$ stopped$ t"rned and gasped
for breath$ then another step "pwards$ Nes"s ChristG 8e too' hold of a tree. What time
co"ld it be4 8e drew his watch$ in its yellow transl"scent case$ o"t from the poc'et of his
waistcoat. it was sealed sh"t with snow. !t might be getting dar' soon. -ho"ld he go
bac'4 &"t he m"st be near the top by nowG
he wind stopped coming at him in g"sts and became a contin"o"s gale. he
clo"ds r"shed straight at the hillside$ a grey and dirty fog filled with h"rtling fla'es of
snow. he snow fl"ng itself hori%ontally thro"gh the air$ straight into his face and gl"ing
his eyes$ nose and mo"th sh"t. to clear it$ half(thawed$ from his ears and eye soc'ets he
had only fingers which were wet and n"mb with the cold. /ll down his front he was
covered in a layer of snow five centimeters thic'. his coat was almost too stiff to move$
as stiff as a board and 0"st as heavy. his shoes$ too$ were heavy$ and gathering a thic'er
layer of snow on their soles with every step. /nd in the woods dar'ness was falling. &"t
it#s hardly two in the afternoon$ for Eod#s sa'eG
-"ddenly a yellow(greenish dar'ness fell and the snowfall became very heavy.
he fla'es were as big as yo"r hand$ wet and heavy$ so many of them twisting and flying
aro"nd him that it became impossible to tell earth from s'y. 8e co"ld not see where he
p"t his feet$ each breath drew in fla'es of snow$ he was wading thro"gh a swirling veil
that enveloped him to well above his head and he made each step blind$ t"nneling his
way thro"gh the storm. N"st one instinct) to 'eep on going. N"st one desperate wish) to
breath something other than snow. he snow$ half way "p his thighs$ s"c'ed at his boots
as he tried to draw his feet o"t of it$ he str"ggled on thro"gh the whiteness$ digging o"t
his own path which closed again behind him.
&ac' down in the cities the snow was falling in fine little fla'es that melted on the
blac' m"d. Lights came on in the shops$ people sat "nder lamps in bright caf:s and
gr"mbled abo"t what a dar' and gloomy day it was. Co"ntless b"lbs shone their light
o"t far and wide all across the city and spar'led in the watery m"d.
!n the "pland meadow$ "nder its coating of snow$ there was 0"st one light shining.
hro"gh the bli%%ard it was hardly perceptible$ it danced from side to side$ it disappeared
and reappeared$ b"t it was there and it was life. !n the h"t in &ear Halley there was light.
!t was five o#cloc' and already 2"ite dar' when something shapeless came to a
stop in front of the h"t. hat FsomethingF spread o"t its thic' white wings and began to
beat itself and shed layers of snow tens of centimeters thic'. /n overcoat became visible
from "nder the snow$ and "nder the coat two legs which 'ic'ed at the stone doorstep$
dropping piles of snow. his was the postman.
8e entered the h"t$ and sitting at the table he saw a thin man. 8e was going to
offer a polite greeting$ b"t his voice failed him completely. 8e co"ld only whee%e a
co"ple of words$ as if steam were being released.
he man stood "p) F1y Eod$ what#s bro"ght yo" o"t in an onsla"ght li'e this4
3o" might well never have got thro"gh itGF he postman nodded and gasped. Fhat was
madness$F the man admonished him. F3o" need some teaG Where were yo" trying to get
to$ old man4 1artin#s h"t4F
he postman shoo' his head and opened his leather bag. it was f"ll of snow$ b"t
he drew the telegram o"t from it$ fro%en solid so that it crac'led when bent.
F1.. m ... mare'4F he gasped.
FWhat#s that yo" say4F the man as'ed.
F!s 1is(ster 1a(re' here$F said the postman one syllable at a time and loo'ing
acc"singly at the man.
F3es$ that#s me$F he e+claimed. F3o"#ve got something for me4 Let me see it$
2"ic'GF
1are' opened the dispatch. !t read) F3,;I /--;17!,*- C,*=!I15D.
&,*D3.F
*othing more.
Chapter ''II
An "lderl* Patriot
/ll the staff in the newspaper office were wor'ing hard. he telephonist was
2"arreling lo"dly down the line with the operator. -cissors clic'ed$ typewriters clac'ed$
and 1ister Cyril 6:val sat on the table$ his feet dangling down the side.
Fhere was a man preaching down in Wenceslas -2"are$F he was saying 2"ietly.
F-ome comm"nist "rging a life of poverty. elling people they sho"ld be li'e the lilies
of the field. 8ad a beard right down here$ down to his waist. ! find it 2"ite revolting$ the
n"mber of men with long beards going abo"t these days. hey all loo' li'e apostles.F
F1hm$F old 1ister Ie0%e' replied as he pored thro"gh the archives of the C%ech
7ress /gency.
F8ow do they get their beards to grow li'e that4F 1ister 6:val m"sed. FIe0%e'$
listen$ ! thin' it m"st be the /bsol"te that has something to do with it. !#m even getting
worried my beard might grow li'e that too. N"st thin' of it$ right down to the waistGF
F1hm$F said 1ister Ie0%e' tho"ghtf"lly.
Fhere#s a celebration on 8avlQP'bv -2"are today to declare the deification of the
=ree 1o"se. /nd =ather *ov9Pe' is still performing his miracles on ylovo -2"are. N"st
wait and see what comes of that. 3esterday he c"red someone who#d been a cripple from
birth. hen there was a march and that cripple beat "p a New$ bro'e three of his ribs or
something. 8e was a Uionist$ yo" see.F
F1hm$F 1ister Ie0%e' observed as he crossed o"t a few reports.
F!#m s"re there will be more dist"rbances of some 'ind of today too$ Ie0%e'$F
1ister Cyril 6:val considered. Fhe progressives are meeting on ,ld own -2"are.
Calling for separation from Iome again. /nd =ather *ov9Pe' has fo"nded the
1accabeans ( yo" 'now4 ( a sort of armed g"ard for Catholics. ,h$ there will be lots of
f"n there$ 0"st yo" seeG he archbishop told *ov9Pe' not to do any more miracles b"t
he#s li'e a man possessed$ that priest. he#s even bro"ght people bac' from the dead before
now.F
F1hmF$ tho"ght 1ister Ie0%e'$ and contin"ed with his crossing o"t.
F! received a letter from my mother$F Cyril 6:val 2"ietly e+plained . FDown
there in so"th 1oravia they#re all very cross abo"t the people in &ohemia. they say
they#re godless and pagans and idolaters and that they invent new gods and ! don#t 'now
what else. hey shot a game'eeper there beca"se he was from &ohemia. !#m telling yo"$
Ie0%e'$ it#s boiling over everywhere yo" loo'.F
F1hm$F 1ister Ie0%e' agreed.
Fhey#ve even been fighting in the synagog"es$F 1ister 6:val added. Fhe ones
who wanted to worship &aal were badly beaten "p by the Uionists. 5ven three dead$
there were. /nd do yo" 'now the comm"nists have split apart4 3o"#d better 'eep an eye
on them (!#ll only forget abo"t it)$ they#re going to be fighting there as well. *ow there
are the mystical comm"nists$ the left$ as it were. then there are the Christians$ the
1arians$ the scientists$ the res"rrectionists$ the te+tile wor'ers# -ociety of -t. Nohn $ the
iron wor'ers# -ociety of -t. Nohn$ the mine wor'ers# -ociety of -t. Nohn$ and something
li'e another seven parties as well. hey#re s2"abbling now abo"t how health care sho"ld
be financed and homes for the wor'ers. Listen Ie0%e'$ !#ll be going down into town
today$ they sent some troops down there this afternoon. ,ne barrac's sent an "ltimat"m
to another barrac's telling them they#d have to accept their doctrine of the hree -tages
of -alvation. !f they don#t accept it there#s going to be a battle. -o a third barrac's sent
troops down to disarm the first$ which barricaded itself in$ drew its machine g"ns "p to
the windows and declared war. *ow they#re s"rro"nded by the -eventh Dragoons$ the
Castle E"ard and fo"r col"mns of light artillery. hey start shooting at si+ o#cloc'$ they
say. Ie0%e'$ Ie0%e'$ what 0oy it is to be in the world todayGF
F1hm$F said 1ister Ie0%e'.
F3es$ and at the "niversity today$F 1ister 6:val contin"ed 2"ietly$ Fthe nat"ral
science fac"lty had a fight with the history fac"lty. he scientists$ yo" see$ deny the tr"th
of the 5piphany beca"se they#re pantheists$ or something. he professors were at the
front and Deacon I9dl carried the flag himself. he historians occ"pied the "niversity
library at the 6lementin"m and defended themselves desperately$ mainly with the boo's.
Deacon I9dl was hit on the head with the collected wor's of Helenovs'< and was dead
on the spot. / clear case of conc"ssion. /rne *ov9' was serio"sly in0"red by one
vol"me of F!nventions and DevelopmentsF. =inally the historians threw the collected
wor's of Nan Hrba at their attac'ers. Iesc"e wor'ers are there now. hey#ve d"g o"t
seven dead bodies so far$ incl"ding three professors$ altho"gh ! don#t thin' there can be
more than thirty of them b"ried alive down there. .F
F1hm$F tho"ght 1ister Ie0%e'.
F/nd there#s the football gro"nd too$F sp"ttered 6:val as he became more e+cited.
F-parta have declared that the one tr"e god is Dia$ from ancient Ereece$ whereas the
other team$ -l9vie$ want -vantovit$ the -lavonic god. he two cl"bs are going to play a
match against each other on behalf of their respective gods on -"nday $ they#ll both be
e2"ipped with hand grenades as well as football boots$ and they say -l9vie have got
machine g"ns as well$ and -parta a twelve centimetre cannon. here#s a tremendo"s r"sh
for tic'ets$ and both sides# s"pporters are arming themselves "p. Ie0%e'$ it#s going to be
an enormo"s rowG ! thin' it#ll be Ue"s who wins$ myself.F
F1hm$F said 1ister Ie0%e'$ Fb"t now do yo" thin' yo" co"ld have a loo' at these
reports that have come in4F
F3es$ ! s"ppose so$F Cyril 6:val agreed. F-ee4 3o" can even get "sed to god.
What#s come in new from the C%ech 7ress /gency$ then4F
F*othing in partic"lar$F 1ister Ie0%e' gr"mbled. F/ violent demonstration in
Iome. hings have got going in ;lster$ !rish Catholics$ see4 -t. 6ilda has gone 2"ite
mad. 7ogroms in 7est. -chism in =rance beca"se the Waldensians have re(emerged
there. *eo(baptists in 1Mnster. -ome =ather 1artin of the &arefoot &rothers has been
elected as an alternative pope in &ologne. /nd so on. *othing local. -ee what#s in the
letters$ will yo"4F
Cyril 6:val stopped tal'ing and opened the mail. there was a co"ple of h"ndred
letters there. 8e had hardly read thro"gh si+ of them before he co"ld ta'e no more.
FLoo' at them$ Ie0%e'$F he began$ Fthey#re all the same. his one$ for instance$ from
Chr"dim) #Dear -ir$ ! have been a s"bscriber to yo"r respected p"blication for many
years$ and ! am s"re yo"r other readers$ and society at large who stir "p fr"itless 2"arrels$
will be ...# here he#s forgotten to write the word #interested#$F inter0ected 1ister 6:val$ F #...
great wonder performed by o"r local pastor$ =ather Ua'o"pil.# /nd so on. !n NiPQn it was
a cellar 'eeper$ in &eneSov it was a driving instr"ctor$ in ChotXboJ it was even a
tobacconist. 8ow am ! s"pposed to read all of this4F
=or a while$ it was once more 2"iet in the office . FIe0%e'$ listenGF 6:val began
again$ FDo yo" 'now what wo"ld be a real sensation4 !f something somewhere happened
entirely nat"rally$ witho"t any sort of miracle. &"t ! don#t s"ppose anyone wo"ld believe
"s if we told them that. Wait$ !#ll try to thin' "p something that happens entirely
nat"rally.
here was another period of 2"iet.
FIe0%e'$F 6:val lamented$ Fthere#s not a thing ! can thin' of that#s happened
nat"rally. he more ! thin' abo"t it$ the more ! see that everything has happened by
magic. 5verything is that happens is some 'ind of miracle.F
N"st then the editor in chief came in. FWho was it who reviewed the #rib"ne#4
hey#ve got a report here abo"t something and we#ve got no mention of itGF
FWhat report#s that$ then4F Ie0%e' as'ed.
F/ b"siness report. -ome consorti"m in /merica has bo"ght "p some islands in
the 7acific and is renting them o"t. Coral atolls$ or something$ for fifty tho"sand dollars
a year. -hares are already at two tho"sand seven h"ndred. E.8. &ondy#s p"t a h"ndred
and twenty million into it. /nd in o"r paper there#s nothing at all abo"t it$F the editor
complained$ and slammed the door as he left.
FIe0%e'$F 6:val said$ Fhere#s an interesting letter) #Dear -ir$ /s an elderly patriot
with memories of hard and oppressive times when o"r nation was in a state of dar' and
dismal servit"de ! hope yo" will allow me to raise my voice in complaint. ! beg to
re2"est that yo" ma'e "se of yo"r most s"btle and er"dite prose to convey the an+io"s
concerns of "s elderly patriots to the C%ech nation in order ... # and so on. hen it goes) #!
see$ in this ancient and glorio"s nation of o"rs$ that brother rises "p against brother. that
co"ntless factions$ sects and ch"rches now persec"te and vomit their hatred on one
another li'e wolves.# his is a very old man$ ! sho"ld thin'$ the handwriting is very
sha'ey. #/ll this when o"r ancient enemy s"rro"nds "s li'e a pac' of roaring lions and
sho"t their Eermanic slogan$ F-eparation from IomeF at o"r people. his enemy is
s"pported by enemies from within who show more concern for their own parties than for
the national "nity for which we have yearned so long. We even see$ with both an+iety
and sorrow$ the approach of *eo(Lipanists$ ca"sing C%ech to raise arms against C%ech
"nder the banner of religio"s slogans of one sort or another and leaving each other lying
dead on the m"rdero"s fields. he word of -cript"re tells "s of a 'ingdom divided
against itself$ and even this we see f"lfilled. here will be combat$ there will be
bloodshed$ 0"st as o"r 0"st$ heroic and glorio"s man"scripts foretold. # F
F-top it there$F said 1ister Ie0%e'.
F&"t wait$ he goes on to tell "s abo"t the hypertrophy of ch"rch and state. !t#s the
C%echs# hereditary disease$ he says. #here cannot be the slightest do"bt abo"t it$ 0"st as
we were informed by Doctor 6ram9J. =or this reason$ we "rge yo" at this twelfth ho"r
when great and horrifying dangers threaten "s from all sides to call on o"r entire nation to
come together in defence of itself. !f it is deemed necessary to have a ch"rch as cohesive
force in this "nion$ let it not be a protestant ch"rch$ nor a catholic ch"rch$ nor monism$
nor even agnostic$ b"t let "s accept the powerf"l and fraternal faith of the one -lavonic
orthodo+ ch"rch. !n these stormy times it is this ch"rch alone that can cement "s into one
great -lavonic family and give "s the protection of the mighty -lavonic 'ingdom. hose
however$ who fail to "nite willingly and wholeheartedly into this single pan(-lavonic
mind$ sho"ld be compelled by the power of the state$ or whatever e+ceptional press"re
circ"mstances might 0"stify$ to p"t aside whatever party or sectarian interests he may
have embraced and act for the benefit of the nation as an indivisible whole.# /nd so on.
-igned$ #/n elderly patriot#. What do yo" thin' of that$ then4F
F*othing$F 1ister Ie0%e' replied.
F! thin' there#s something in it$F 1ister 6:val began$ b"t 0"st then the telephonist
entered.
F/ call 0"st in from 1"nich$F he said. F!n Eermany some 'ind of religio"s or
internecine war has bro'en o"t. hin' it#s worth printing4F
Chapter ''III
Conspirac* in Augsburg
&efore eleven o#cloc' in the evening$ the editorial office received the following
message by telephone)
FC%ech 7ress /gency. 1"nich$ 12. =eb. Ieports have been received of bloody
demonstrations ta'ing place in /"gsb"rg. -eventy protestants 'illed. Demonstrations
contin"e.F
FC%ech 7ress /gency. &erlin. 12. =eb. ,fficial report that the n"mber of dead
and in0"red in /"gsb"rg is no more than twelve. 7olice maintaining order.F
F-pecial report. L"gao. 12. =eb. Ieliable reports that n"mber of victims in
/"gsb"rg already e+ceeds five tho"sand. Iailway comm"nications to the north
s"spended. &avarian ministry in permanent session. Eerman emperor cancelled h"nting
trip to ret"rn to &erlin.F
FC%ech 7ress /gency. Ie"ters$ 12. =eb. /t D a.m. today$ government of &avaria
declared holy war against 7r"ssia.F
Cyril 6:val was in &avaria by the following day$ and the following lines were
ta'en from his relatively reliable description)
F5n the 6ch7ller $encil factory in Augsburg, on the 18# 3eb#, at si9 in the evening,
a 1rotestant cleric &as beaten u$ by &orking class -atholics in a "is$ute to "o &ith the
-ult of Mary# The night $asse" &ithout inci"ent, but the follo&ing "ay at ten in the
morning -atholic &orkers &alke" out of all factories an" &ork$laces an" lou"ly
"eman"e" the "ismissal of all 1rotestant em$loyees# 6ch7ller, the factory o&ner beaten
to "eath, t&o managers shot# -leric violently force" to carry montrance at hea" of
$rocession# Archbisho$ Len( arrive" to attem$t to calm "emonstrators, but thro&n into
River Lech# Lea"ers of 6ocial +emocrat $arty trie" to s$eak, but force" to flee into
synagogue# : $#m#, synagogue blo&n u$ &ith "ynamite &hile ;e&ish an" 1rotestant
sho$s loote"# <unfire hear" an" several fires burning, city council vote" in su$$ort of
the 5mmaculate -once$tion of the 4irgin Mary an" calle" fervently to all -atholics of the
&orl" to gras$ the fiery s&or" an" "efen" their faith# =ther to&ns in 'avaria res$on"e"
to this call# Munich, > $#m#, a grou$ of $eo$le enthusiastically su$$orte" a resolution for
the southern regions to se$arate from the <erman )m$ire# <overnment in Munich
notifie" 'erlin that it &oul" be taking on all res$onsibilites# The im$erial chancellor,
+octor *urm &ent imme"iately to the Ministry of *ar, &hich sent 18,888 infantry men
into 'avaria from 6a9ony an" the Rhinelan"# 1 a#m#, the train carrying these troo$s is
"eraile" at the 'avarian bor"er, in?ure" men machine@gunne" "o&n# : a#m#, the
government in Munich, in alliance &ith the Al$ine lan"s, "eclares holy &ar on
Lutherans#
%5n 'erlin, it seems they still have not lost ho$e that the &hole misun"erstan"ing
might be resolve" $eaceably# The em$eror is at $resent s$eaking in $arliament, saying
that he kno&s neither -atholic nor 1rotestant but only <ermans# Armies from north
<ermany are sai" to be concentrate" along a line from )rfutt to <otha to Aassel!
-atholic forces are converging on the cities of -vikov an" Ru"olsta"t, meeting resistance
only from civilians# <rei( has been burne" to the groun", many resi"ents kille", others
taken into slavery# rumours of ma?or battle so far unconfirme"# Refugees from 'ayreuth
re$ort hearing cannonfire from the north# Rail&ay station in Mag"eburg sai" to have
been bombe" to ruins from 'avarian aircraft# *eimar in flames#
%5n"escribable enthusiasm here in Munich# Recruitment offices o$erating in all
schools, ueues of volunteers &aiting in the street for u$ to t&elve hours# 3lag of the
t&elve $astors hoiste" above the to&n hall# -atholic $riests have to $erform mass "ay
an" night in churches cramme" &ith celebrants! 3ather <rosshuber, the member of
$arliament, colla$ses an" "ies at the altar# ;e&s, monists, abstinents an" other members
of "ifferent faiths have barrica"e" themselves in their homes# Rosenheim, the banker an"
lea"er of the ;e&ish community, $ublicly burne" this morning#
%The ambassa"ors of Bollan" an" +enmark have ha" their $ass$orts taken#
Re$resentative of the U6A submitte" formal $rotest at the breach of the $eace, &hereas
the 5talian government assure" 'avaria of its neutrality an" its goo" &ishes#
%Armies of ne& recruits marching "o&n the streets carrying flags of a &hite cross
on re" backgroun" an" $roclaiming 2The *ill of <o"2# Almost all &omen entering
nursing service an" $re$aring hos$itals# 6ho$s an" offices mostly close"# 6tock
e9change like&ise# %
hat was the 1C. =ebr"ary. ,n the fifteenth a ma0or battle too' place on the ban's
of the Iiver Werry$ ca"sing the protestant forces to retreat. ,n the same day the first
shots were fired on the border between &elgi"m and 8olland. 5ngland ordered
mobilisation of its navy.
1@. =ebr"ary) !taly allows -panish forces free passage across its territory to come
to the aid of &avaria. yrolean peasants$ armed with scythes$ h"rl themselves at the
-wiss.
1B. =ebr"ary) /nti(7ope 1artin sends a telegram giving his blessing to the
&avarian army. ;ndecisive battle ner 1einingen. I"ssia declares war on Catholics in
7oland.
1?. =ebr"ary) !reland declares war on 5ngland. /nti(caliph emerges in &r"ssels$
"nf"rling the green flag of the prophets. &al'an states mobilise$ massacre in 1acedonia.
2D. =ebr"ary) *orth Eermans# front line bro'en thro"gh. Eeneral "prising in
!ndia. 1oslems declare holy war agains Christians.
2R. =ebr"ary) War between !taly and Ereece$ first conflicts on /lbanian territory.
D. . 1arch) Napanese fleet sets o"t eastwards against /merica.
1K. 1arch) Cr"saders (Catholic) lay siege to &erlin. ;nion of 7rotestant -tates
established in -tettin. Eerman 5mperor Caspar ! ta'es personal command.
1@. 1arch) /rmy of two million Chinese attac' across border into -iberia and
1anch"ria. /rmy of /nti(7ope 1artin con2"ers Iome$ 7ope ;rban flees to 7ort"gal.
1B. 1arch) -pain demands that 7ort"g"ese government s"rrender 7ope ;rban to
them. Ief"sal leads to de facto war between those co"ntries.
2@. 1arch) -o"th /merican states iss"e "ltimat"m to ;-/. they demand an end
to 7rohibition and an end to freedom of religion
2R. 1arch) Napanese forces disembar' on the coasts of California and &ritish
Col"mbia.
his$ ro"ghly spea'ing$ was the world sit"ation on the 1. /pril) Central 5"rope
was "ndergoing ma0or conflict between Catholics and 7rotestants. he 7rotestnt ;nion
o"sted the Cr"saders from &erlin$ maintained hold of -a+ony and occ"pied &ohemia
(which had been ne"tral). the head2"arters in 7rag"e en0oyed the pec"liar advantage of
having 1a0or(Eeneral Wrangel from -weden among them$ who may well have been
descended from the Eeneral Wrangel who too' part in the hirty 3ears War. ,n the other
hand$ the Cr"sader too' control of the *etherlands$ which they then flooded with
seawater by digging thro"gh the dy'es. =rom the *etherlands they went on to ta'e
possession of 8anover$ 8olstein and LMbec' and on into Denmar'. War was waged
witho"t mercy. Cities were ra%ed to the gro"nd$ men were 'illed$ any woman "nder fifty
was raped. b"t the first thing invading armies did was destroy the enemy#s carb"rators.
hose who remember this e+ceptionally bloody war ass"re "s that both sides fo"ght with
s"pernat"ral strength. there seemed$ sometimes$ to be an invisible hand that wo"ld ta'e
hold of enemy aircraft and h"rl them to the gro"nd. or a KC(centimeter shell wo"ld be
ca"ght in mid air and thrown bac' where it had come from. -ome of the most horrifying
scenes too' place when carb"rators were being destroyed. as soon as any enemy city was
occ"pied there wo"ld be an invisible b"t desperate battle aro"nd the local carb"rators.
sooner or later there wo"ld be a whirl of bric's and beams and roofing tiles thrown into
the air above the carb"rator as if yo" had blown into a pile of feathers$ leaving the
carb"rator and the b"ilding that had ho"sed it completely destroyed. his whirlwind
wo"ld "s"ally concl"de with a tremendo"s e+plosion which leveled all the trees and
b"ildings within a radi"s of "p to twelve 'ilometers and left a hole in the gro"nd more
than two h"ndred meters deep. the si%e of the e+plosion$ of co"rse$ varied according to
the si%e of the carb"rator.
-"ffocating gases were released that spread to a distance of three h"ndred
'ilometers$ leaving vegetation a b"rnt brown colo"r. this clo"d $ tho"gh$ wo"ld often stop
spreading o"t and fre2"ently ret"rned to the place where it had started ( again beca"se of
the strategic application of s"pernat"ral forces ( ma'ing this strategy "nreliable and it
soon stopped being "sed. !t was seen that the /bsol"te co"ld attac'$ b"t it co"ld also
defend. weapons previo"sly "nheard of (earth2"a'es$ tornadoes$ acid rain$ floods$
angels$ plag"e$ loc"sts etc.) were "sed in combat$ and it became essential to invent new
stratgies. 1ass attac's$ lines of trenches$ front lines$ fortified stations and similar
nonsense passed o"t of "se. each soldier was given a 'nife$ b"llets and a few bombs and
went o"t independently to attac' any soldier wearing a cross of a different colo"r on his
breast. here were no longer two armies face to face against each other. there was simply
a given area that was the theatre of war where both sides advanced and soldiers 'illed
each other one by one "ntil it co"ld be seen who that land now belonged to. !t was$ of
co"rse$ an especially bloody way of waging war b"t it showed its strength in the end.
hat was the sit"ation in central 5"rope. early in /pril the 7rotestant armies
penetrated thro"gh &ohemia and into /"stria and &avaria$ while the Catholics overran
Denmar' and 7omerania. 8olland$ as stated above$ had by this time disappeared from
the map of 5"rope altogether.
!n !taly there was a f"rio"s internal war between the s"pporters of 7ope ;rban
and those of 7ope 1artin. while -icily fo"nd itself in the hands of the Eree' light
infantry. he 7ort"g"ese occ"pied /st"ria and Castille$ b"t lost 5stremad"ra where$
down in the so"th$ the fighting was fiercest of all. 5ngland fo"ght on !rish soil and then
in its colonies$ b"t by the start of /pril held no more than the coastal strip of 5gypt.
,ther settlements were lost and the colonists were massacred by the natives. With the
help of forces from /rabia$ -"dan and 7ersia$ "r'ey overran the whole of the &al'ans
and had ta'en control of 8"ngary before a disagreement bro'e o"t between the -hiites
and the -"nnis over some matter to do with /li$ the fo"rth caliph$ which clearly m"st
have been of the highest importance. &oth sects had moved from !stanb"l to -lova'ia
with the greatest speed$ b"t also with the greatest bloodshed which$ "nfort"nately$
affected the Christians. -o it was that this part of 5"rope once again s"ffered worse
hardship than anywhere else.
7oland disappeared$ swept away by the I"ssian army which was now directing its
attention to the yellow peril moving north(westwards. /t the same time there were ten
brigades of the Napanese army disembar'ing on the coast of north /merica.
3o" may have noticed that there has been no mention so far of =rance. he
chronicler has reserved this s"b0ect for Chapter >>!H.

Chapter ''IV
-apoleon of the !ountain rigade
&obinet$ if yo" please$ oni &obinet$ a twenty(three year old lie"tentant in the
mo"ntain artillery$ based in /nnecy (8a"te -avoie)$ b"t c"rrently on e+ercise for si+
wee's in the /ig"illes 1o"ntains$ where$ on a nice day$ yo" can see all the way to La'e
/nnecy and Eeneva to the west$ and to the east there is a view of the ro"nded s"mmit of
1o"nt Dobr9' and the pea' of 1ont &lanc. -o$ Lie"tenant oni &obinet sits on a roc'
and p"lls at his meagre mo"stache$ partly beca"se he is bored$ and partly also beca"se he
has already read the two wee' old newspaper five times and now he is thin'ing.
/t this point$ the chronicler o"ght really to be following the tho"ghts of this
f"t"re *apoleon. b"t for the time being$ his tho"ghts (ie. the chronicler#s) slide down the
icy slopes to the /rles Halley$ where the thaw is already "nderway and where his
attention is drawn to the little towns of 1egcve$ =l"met and ;gines where the spires on
the ch"rches appear li'e a 0"mble of children#s toys ( ah$ dreams of childhoodG ,h$ those
memories of tiny b"ilding bloc's
1eanwhile$ Lie"tenant &obinet ... b"t no. Let "s first try to "nderstand the
psychology of this great man$ e+amine the first embryonic tho"ghts of this titan and p"t
them into words. &"t this is more than we are capable of$ and even if we were capable
we might well find these tho"ghts disappointing. !n short$ simply imagine someone s"ch
as little Lie"tenant &obinet$ sitting "p there in the mo"ntains while 5"rope falls into a
state of collapse all aro"nd him$ he has a battery of mo"ntain artillery with him$ and at his
feet he can see the tiny world which$ from where he is sitting$ he co"ld very comfortable
bombard with his g"ns. !n that o"tdated iss"e of the Moniteur "2Annecy he has 0"st read a
leader article in which some 1onsie"r &abillard calls for a strong hand to ta'e the r"dder
and g"ide the ship of =rance o"t of these insane tempests and on to new glories and new
powers$ imagine the lie"tenant here$ in the p"re mo"ntain air$ more than two tho"sand
meters above the sea$ where yo"r tho"ghts are limpid and free. imagine all of this$ and
"nderstand that Lie"tenant &obinet$ sitting here on his roc'$ r"minates and then writes to
his venerable$ wi%ened$ white(haired mother a somewhat conf"sed letter$ telling her she
we soon be hearing abo"t her oni$ and that her oni has ideas of magnificence. hen he
did a few small 0obs$ slept well that night$ and in the morning he called the troops of his
battery together$ deposed the old and incompetent captain$ too' command of the police
station down in -allanches$ declared war on the /bsol"te 0"st as *apoleon wo"ld have
done$ and then he went bac' to bed. the ne+t day he destroyed the carb"rator in the
ba'ery in hdnes$ occ"pied the railway station in &onneville$ and too' control of the
military head2"arters in /nnecy$ by which time he was in command of three tho"sand
men. Within a wee' he had destroyed more than two h"ndred carb"rators and was
commander of fifteen tho"sand infantry and swordsmen in Erenoble. Declared
commander in chief of Erenoble$ he had a small army of forty tho"sand men behind him.
hen he "sed his long(range g"ns to caref"lly clear the territory of all the atomic motors
ahead of him and marched down into the Ihone Halley. ,n the road to Chamb:ry he
capt"red the minister of war$ who had come o"t in a car to tal' some sense into him. he
following day$ the minister had clearly been entirely won over by &obinet#s plans and
appointed him to the ran' of general. &y the 1st. /pril$ the /bsol"te had been eradicated
from Lyon.
;ntil this point$ &obinet#s victorio"s ascent has been achieved witho"t a great
deal of bloodshed. !t was only once he had crossed the Iiver Loire that he met with
resistance$ mostly from dedicated Catholics and in areas devoted to the Erand I:gime. !t
was fort"nate for &obinet that many people in =rance had remained s'eptical abo"t the
/bsol"te$ even in the towns and villages which "sed its carb"rators$ in fact there were
many whose s'epticism and belief in 5nlightenment val"es was a wild fanaticism. /fter
so many deaths and repeats of the -t. &artholomew#s Day 1assacre$ Fles &obinetsF were
welcomed as liberators everywhere they went$ and they did indeed try to achieve a
grad"al ret"rn to peacef"l conditions once they had smashed all the carb"rators.
-o$ in N"ly of that year$ the =rench parliament declared that Foni &obinet has
performed a great service to la 1atrieF$ appointed him marshal$ and awarded him the title
of =irst Cons"l. =rance had been consolidated. &obinet declared =rance an atheist state.
any sign of religion wo"ld be p"nishable by death in accordance with martial law.
here are some scenes from the life of this great man that we co"ld not possibly
pass over in silence.
&obinet and his mother. ,ne day in at Hersailles &obinet was in co"ncil with his
chiefs of staff. !t was a warm day$ so he was sitting near the open window. s"ddenly$ o"t
in the par'$ he saw an old woman warming herself in the s"n. &obinet interr"pted what
1arshal Nollivet was saying and called o"t) ,h$ loo'$ there#s my motherG /ll the men
present$ even generals hardened by war$ had a tear in their eyes at this sign of filial love.
&obinet and his love for his homeland. ,ne day$ in the rain$ &obinet was
inspecting his troops on the Champs de 1ars. While a brigade of heavy artillery was
passing by$ one of the vehicles drove thro"gh a large p"ddle$ splashing m"ddy water onto
&obinet#s coat. 1arshal Nollivet wanted to p"nish the commander of the "nfort"nate
battery and ordered him to be demoted on the spot$ b"t &obinet held him bac') F!t
doesn#t matter 1arshal. this is$ after all$ the m"d of =rance.F
&obinet and the invalid. ,ne time &obinet went to Chartres incognito. ,n the
way$ one of the tyres b"rst and while the driver was changing it they were approached by
a one(legged beggar as'ing for alms. F8ow did this man lose his leg4F &obinet as'ed.
he invalid told him that he had lost it as a soldier in !ndochina$ and that he had a poor
old mother$ and that they often had to go witho"t food for days at a time. F1arshal$ ma'e
a note of this man#s name$F &obinet said$ clearly to"ched. /nd indeed$ a wee' later
&obinet#s personal co"rier 'noc'ed on the door of the man#s hovel and handed the poor
invalid a parcel Ffrom the =irst Cons"lF. !magine the 0oy and ama%ement on the invalid#s
face when he opened the parcel and fo"nd there a bron%e medalG
With all the 2"alities of this o"tstanding mind it is no wonder that &obinet finally
yielded to the yearnings of all his people$ and on the 1Cth. N"ly he declared himself$ to
wild p"blic appla"se$ 5mperor of the =rench .
he period that followed was certainly very dist"rbing for the whole world$ b"t it
was also a period of greatness. /ll parts of the globe were at war$ and all of them literally
glittered with acts of heroism. -een from 1ars$ o"r planet m"st have shone li'e a star of
the first magnit"de and 1artian astronomers wo"ld have s"pposed it was still in the stage
of being red(hot. /nd yo" sho"ld "nderstand that =rance$ with its 'nights and with its
leader$ 5mperor oni &obinet$ was in no way less resplendent than other co"ntries.
7erhaps$ also$ some remaining traces of the /bsol"te played a part here$ if they had not
all evaporated into space$ and drove the =rench nation on to a spirit that went ever higher
and ever more fiery. !n short$ when the Ereat Caesar made an anno"ncement two days
after his coronation declaring that the ho"r had come for =rance to plant its flag on every
part of the world$ the nation answered him with a "nanimo"s and enth"siastic sho"t.
&obinet#s plan was th"s)
1. ,cc"py -pain$ and gain control of the entrance to the 1editerranean by
con2"ering Eibraltar.
2. ,cc"py the valley of the Dan"be as far as 7est$ and th"s control the entrance to
the 5"ropean interior.
D. ,cc"py Denmar'$ and th"s control the northern seas.
/nd as gaining control of territory "s"ally costs blood$ =rance sent o"t three
different armies$ all of whom bro"ght her great fame and glory.
/ fo"rth army was sent o"t to /sia 1inor to control the way to the ,rient.
/ fifth too' control of the -t. Lawrence Iiver$ as the 'ey to north /merica.
/ si+th was drowned in a naval battle off the coast of 5ngland.
/ seventh lay siege to -evastopol.
&y *ew 3ear#s 5ve$ 1?CC$ in the poc'et of his artillery tro"sers$ 5mperor &obinet
had the 'eys to all parts of the world.
Chapter ''V
The Greatest /ar ")er 0as the* called it1
!t#s part of the character of "s h"mans that$ when we come across something very bad$
we ta'e special pleas"re in calling it Fthe greatestF. !f$ for instance$ the weather is very
hot we are gratef"l to the papers if they tell "s it#s Fthe highest temperat"re reached since
the year 1BB1F$ and we#re even a little peeved at the year 1BB1 for having tr"mped "s. ,r
if it#s cold eno"gh to free%e o"r ears off we#re filled wish 0oy if we learn that it#s Fthe
cr"elest frost recorded since 1RB@F. he same applies to wars. 5ither the c"rrent war is
the most 0"st ever$ or it#s the bloodiest ever$ or it#s the most s"ccessf"l ever$ or its the
longest war since s"ch and s"ch a time. there is always some s"perlative or other at hand
to provide "s a certain pro"d satisfaction that we are living thro"gh something special and
record(brea'ing.
*ow$ the war that lasted from the 12th. =ebr"ary 1?CC to the /"t"mn of 1?KD really
was$ ! swear it$ 2"ite easily the greatest war ever. those who lived thro"gh the war
deserve the 0oy of 'nowing this fact and please let#s not ta'e it from them. 1?B million
men fo"ght in the war$ and all these men apart from thirty of them$ died in it. ! co"ld cite
yo" the fig"res$ and show how statisticians and officials tried to convey the enormity of
the losses. ! co"ld tell yo"$ for instance$ how many tho"sand 'ilometers they wo"ld reach
if all the bodies were laid ne+t to each other$ or how many ho"rs a fast train wo"ld ta'e to
pass over them all if all these corpses were laid down in the place of railway sleepers. or
how many h"ndred train waggons wo"ld be filled if the forefingers of all the dead men
were c"t off and pac'ed into sardine tines$ and so on. b"t ! have a bad memory for fig"res
and ! wo"ldn#t want to mislead yo"$ not even by one miserable railway waggon. -o !#ll
simply repeat that it was the greatest armed conflict since the creation of the world$ both
in terms of loss of life and of geographic reach.
8ere$ again$ the chronicler feels the need to apologise for his inability to describe
great events in all their grande"r. 8e certainly o"ght to describe how armies swept across
from the Ihine to the 5"phrates$ from 6orea to Denmar'$ from L"gano to 8aparand and
so on$ b"t instead of this he wo"ld rather o"tline$ for e+ample$ the arrival of &edo"ins
into Eeneva$ white b"rno"ses on their heads and with the heads of their enemies impaled
on their lances two meters high. or the charming stories of hairy =renchmen in ibet. the
cavalcades of I"ssian cossac's in the -ahara. pilgrims from 1acedonia and snipers from
-enegal on the shores of the la'es of =inland. /s yo" can see$ there is material from
many different places. he victorio"s regiments of &obinet flew$ so to spea'$ with :lan
across both !ndia and China in the steps of /le+ander the Ereat. while the yellow flood of
Chinese fo"ght their way thro"gh -iberia and I"ssian to reach =rance and -pain$ c"tting
off$ on the way$ the 1oslems operating in -weden and preventing their comm"nication
with their motherlands. I"ssian regiments$ retreating from the overwhelming power of
China$ fo"nd themselves in north /frica$ where -ergei *i'olayevitch Ulotchin
established himself as sar. he was soon 'illed$ however$ beca"se his &avarian generals
formed a conspiracy against his atamans from 7r"ssia. 8e was s"cceeded as sar on the
throne of imb"'t" by -ergei =yodorovitch Ulosin.
,"r own C%ech homeland was occ"pied in s"ccession by -wedes$ =rench$ "r's$
I"ssians and Chinese$ each new con2"eror m"rdering the previo"s one$ down to the last
so"l. D"ring this period$ masses were held in -aint Hit"s# Cathedral by a pastor$ an
advocate$ an imam$ a archimandrite and a bon%$ none of them of co"rse$ staying very
long . he only welcome change was that -tavov heatre was always f"ll. albeit only
beca"se it was "sed as a military storeroom.
!n 1?K1$ the Napanese were p"shed o"t of eastern 5"rope by the Chinese and for a
time there was a new 5mpire of the Centre (which is what the Chinese call their
homeland). N"st by chance$ this new empire had the same bo"ndaries as the old /"stro(
8"ngarian 5mpire and there was once again an elderly potentate on the throne in
-ch`nbr"nn Castle$ the h"ndred and si+ year old mandarin$ 3aya Wir Weana. he
*iener Mittags(eitung ass"red "s every day that Fthe nations re0oiced and loo'ed "p to
his holy head with child(li'e venerationF. he official lang"age was Chinese$ which p"t
an end to nationalist disp"tes at a stro'e. he state religion was &"ddhism$ and obstinate
Catholics in &ohemia and 1oravia$ falling victim to Chinese dragonades and
confiscations$ moved abroad. !n this way an e+ceptionally high n"mber of national
martyrs was created. ,n the other hand there were some o"tstanding and co"rageo"s
C%ech patriots who were genero"sly appointed to the ran' of mandarin$ s"ch as obol'a$
who became 'nown as #o(&ol(6ai#$ EroS$ who became 'nown as #Ero(-hi#$ and certainly
many others. his Chinese r:gime introd"ced many progressive innovations$ s"ch as
iss"ing tic'ets instead of food. the 5mpire of the Centre nonetheless collapsed not long
after it had been established as s"pplies of lead for m"nitions were 2"ic'ly e+ha"sted$
and witho"t m"nitions there was no a"thority. / few Chinese who had escaped the
massacre remained in 5"rope in the period of peace that followed$ most of them serving
as a government official of some 'ind.
1eanwhile$ news came to 5mperor &obinet at his new seat in -imla$ !ndia$ that
the "ne+plored "pper reaches of the !rawadi$ -el"in and 1e'ong Iivers were "nder the
control of an empire of /ma%on women$ so he led an e+pedition there with his old g"ard
b"t never ret"rned. -ome say that he got married there$ others say that /malia$ the 2"een
of the /ma%ons$ c"t off his head in combat and threw it bog with the bloody cry of F-atia
te sang"ine$ 2"em tant"m sitiisti.F his latter version is certainly the less alarming.
!n the end 5"rope became the theatre for fr"itless str"ggle between the negro
races who came rolling in from the /frican interior and the 1ongol hordes. it is better not
to spea' of what went on d"ring those two years. he last traces of civilisation were
erased. he n"mber of bears living in 8radPany$ for instance$ on the left ban' of the
Hltava$ rose to s"ch a level that the few remaining residents of 7rag"e demolished all the
bridges$ even Charles &ridge$ to stop these bloody predators crossing to the other side.
he pop"lation was red"ced to a tiny fraction of what it had been. the forces in HySehrad
castle were p"t to death$ the c"p final between -parta and Hi'toria ZiV'ov was watched
by a mere h"ndred and ten spectators.
,ther continents were no better off. *orth /merica$ torn apart by astonishingly
bloody battles between prohibitionists and anti(prohibitionists$ became a colony of Napan.
-o"th /merica was "nder the control of empires based$ in s"ccession$ in ;r"g"ay$ Chile$
7er"$ &randenb"rg and 7atagonia. /s soon as the ideal state established there by the
5nglish has collapsed$ /"stralia did not meet its promise b"t ret"rned to being an
"ninhabitable desert. !n /frica$ once the negroes had eaten more than two million whites
they h"rled themselved from the Congo &asin into 5"rope$ while other parts of /frica
were conv"lsed in battles between 1B@ different empires$ s"ltanates$ 'ingdoms$
principalities and rep"blics.
-"ch is history. 5ach one of those h"ndreds of millions of people at war had gone
thro"gh their childhood$ their first loves$ their hopes for the f"t"re. sometimes they were
afraid$ sometimes they acted as heroes$ b"t most of them were sic' to death of the whole
thing and wo"ld rather have 0"st been allowed to go to bed and lie down in peace.
Certainly$ those who died had no wish to do so. /ll that is left of all of this is a handf"l
of dry facts. a battle here and there$ losses of so and so m"ch$ the o"tcome this or that (
and whatever the o"tcome it made no real difference to anything.
/nd that is why ! say yo" sho"ld not listen to those people when they pro"dly say
what they lived thro"gh was the greatest war of all time. We all 'now$ of co"rse$ that in a
few decades# time we will manage to create a war which is even greater. 5ven in that
respect$ man#s achievements mo"nt ever and ever higher.
Chapter ''VI
The attle of ,radec Kr2lo)3
/t this point the chronicler will ta'e the advice of /"g"st -edl9Pe'$ Nosef 7e'aJ
and other a"thorities in the writing of history who point o"t that an important so"rce for
"nderstanding history is the events that ta'e place locally and reflect world events in a
n"tshell.
his n"tshell$ better 'nown as the city of 8radec 6r9lov:$ is especially
memorable for the chronicler as it was here that he ran abo"t as a nipper$ where he went
to high school$ and at that time of co"rse it was the whole world to him. b"t eno"gh abo"t
that.
8radec 6r9lov: entered into the Ereatest War e2"ipped with 0"st one carb"rator$
and that was in the brewery which can still be seen behind the Cathedral of the 8oly
-pirit$ 0"st ne+t to the ch"rch residences. 7erhaps it was the holiness of this
neighbo"rhood that made the carb"rator prod"ce beer in s"ch 2"antities and of s"ch a
fiercely Catholic nat"re that it led the people of 8radec into a state that wo"ld have
bro"ght the late &ishop &rynych indescribable happiness.
8radec 6r9lov:$ however$ is too far from the centre$ and so it 2"ic'ly fo"nd itself
in the power of the 7r"ssians who$ in a f"ry of L"theran ardo"r$ smashed the carb"rator
in the brewery. &"t then the city#s new consecrating bishop was the enlightened &ishop
Linda$ so that the diocese was granted some historical contin"ity and maintained a
pleasant religio"s temperat"re. 5ven when the &obinets$ the "r's and the Chinese
arrived$ 8radec 6r9lov: was pro"dly aware that) 1. it had the best amate"r theatre in the
whole of eastern &ohemia$ 2. the highest bell tower in eastern &ohemia and D. the pages
of its local history show that it had biggest battle ever in eastern &ohemia. -trengthened
by these tho"ghts$ the city of 8radec 6r9lov: e+pected to be tested tested terribly in the
co"rse of the Ereatest War of /ll ime.
/fter the collapse of the mandarins# empire the city was led by the caref"l 1ayor
-'oPdopole. 5ven in the middle of all this anarchy his t"rn of office was blessed with
relative peace$ than's to the wise co"nsel of &ishop Linda and other venerable elders.
;ntil$ that is$ a certain yo"ng tailor came to the city. 8ampl$ his name was$ born in
8radec$ "nfort"nately$ b"t from an early age he had been a wanderer all ro"nd the world
and had even served in the =oreign Legion in /lgeria. hat#s the sort of advent"rer he
was. 8e had gone with &obinet to con2"er !ndia b"t deserted somewhere near &aghdad
and slipped li'e a needle past the =rench$ the -wedes and the Chinese all the way bac' to
his native city.
-o this tailor$ this 8ampl$ had been in some way infected with &obinetism$ and he had
hardly arrived bac' in 8radec 6r9lov: before he starting thin'ing of nothing b"t how he
might gain power 0"st li'e his hero. he tho"ght of sewing clothes now seemed very
"nappealing to him$ so he started to complain and criticise this and that$ he declared that
everyone in the town hall was a time(waster$ that 1ister -'oPdopole was a hopeless old
fool and so on. -ad to say$ in any time of war there is a brea'down of morals and all
forms of a"thority are sha'en$ so that 8ampl soon fo"nd a few people to s"pport him and
with them he fo"nded the -ocialist Ievol"tionary 7arty.
,ne day in N"ly$ this 8ampl called a gro"p of people together in one of the town
s2"ares and$ ta'ing "p position by the fo"ntain$ "rged the need for$ amongst other things$
ins"rrection .
1ister -'oPdopole responded by posting anno"ncements that no(one had the right
to give orders to him$ the d"ly elected mayor$ especially not some deserter who had 0"st
drifted into town. that it wo"ld not be right to anno"nce a new election in these "nsettled
time$ and that the co"rts are aware that ... and so on.
8ampl$ however$ had been e+pecting this$ and it was what he wanted in order$ 0"st
li'e &obinet$ to stri'e. 8e came o"t of his flat on the s2"are waving a red flag$ followed
by two lads th"mping with all their might on a pair of dr"ms. h"s they proceeded past
the main s2"are$ halted briefly o"tside the bishop#s residence$ and went on$ all the time to
the march of the dr"ms$ to the field 'nown as F*a mle0n'"F$ on the ban' of the Iiver
,rlice. here he thr"st his flagstaff into the gro"nd$ sat himself on one of the dr"ms$ and
wrote down a declaration of war. 8e gave it to the two boys and sent them bac' into the
town with their dr"ms where they were to read o"t his declaration at every s"itable place.
!t read)
5n the Came of Bis Ma?esty, )m$eror 'obinet,
the royal city of Bra"ec ArDlovE is hereby comman"e" to $lace the keys to all city
"efences an" fortifications into my han"s# 3ailure to com$ly &ith this comman" before
sunset &ill force me to $rocee" &ith my $lans of attack, an" at the break of "ay the city
&ill come un"er attack from cannonfire, cavalry an" infantry# The lives an" $ro$erty &ill
be s$are" only of those citi(ens &ho, before break of "ay, &ill have $resente" themselves
to myself at my cam$ on the bank of the River =rlice, bearing &ith them all arms an"
&ea$onry as may be nee"e" an" s&earing allegiance to Bis Ma?esty )m$eror 'obinet#
1arliamentarians &ill be shot# The )m$eror "oes not negotiate#
<eneral Bam$l#
he declaration was read$ and ca"sed a deal of consternation$ especially after the
verger at the Ch"rch of the 8oly -pirit had r"ng the bells o"t from the white tower to
so"nd the alarm. 1ister -'oPdopole went to see &ishop Linda$ who simply la"ghed at
him. hen he convened the city co"ncil to a special meeting where he "rged giving
Eeneral 8ampl the 'eys to the city defences. !t transpired that no s"ch 'eys e+isted.
there had "sed to be a few old loc's and 'eys in the town m"se"m b"t they had been
ta'en away by the -wedes. /t this worrisome stage in the proceedings$ night began to
fall.
/ll that afternoon$ and even more in the evening$ people had been ma'ing their
way thro"gh the charming alleyways down to the river ban'. F!#m only going down there
to see what this madman$ 8ampl$ loo's li'e$F they all said to one another when they met$
F0"st the same as yo"F. When they arrived at the camp they saw the meadows
already f"ll of people$ and a lie"tenant of 8ampl#s stood by the two dr"mmers receiving
the oaths of allegiance to 5mperor &obinet. 8ere and there b"rned fires$ people#s
shadows moving aro"nd between them and$ in short$ it all loo'ed very pict"res2"e.
here were some who made their way bac' into town$ clearly disappointed.
!n the night$ the spectacle was even greater. -ome time after midnight 1ayor
-'oPdopole climbed the steps of the white tower. o the east$ alongside the river$ he saw
a h"ndred g"ardposts$ and tho"sands of fig"res moving between the fires which shed
their blood(red light all aro"nd. hey were obvio"sly digging trenches. he mayor made
his way bac' down very an+io"s. !t was clear that Eeneral 8ampl had not been lying
abo"t the strengh of his forces.
Eeneral 8ampl spent the night poring over maps of the city$ and when dawn came
he strode o"t from the woods. -everal tho"sand men had already formed into ran's of
fo"r. hey still had no "niforms$ b"t at least one in fo"r was armed. o one side there
were cl"sters of women$ old people and children.
8ampl ordered the advance$ and the air was instantly alive with the so"nd of
b"gles from 1ister Aerven<#s world(famo"s tr"mpet factory. 8ampl#s forces marched
o"t towards the town to the so"nd of a 0oyo"s march while the women went by the road.
/t the foot of the city 8ampl halted his regiments and sent a tr"mpeter and a
herald ahead to present his demands) non(combatants were to leave their homes. *o(
one$ however$ emerged. he ho"ses were already empty.
he streets were empty.
he s2"ares were empty.
he whole city was empty.
Eeneral 8ampl twisted his mo"stache$ and made his way to the town hall. !ts
doors were open. 8e went into the debating chamber. 8e sat in the mayoral chair. !n
front of him on the green cloth there lay sheets of writing paper waiting for him$ and each
sheet bore the following$ bea"tif"lly written words)
5n the name of Bis Ma?esty )m$eror 'obinet#
Eeneral 8ampl strode to the window and yelled) -oldiers$ the battle is ended.
3o" have bro'en the armed hand wielded by the cli2"e of pen(p"shers who governed in
the town hall. ,"r beloved town is abo"t to enter an era of progress and liberty. 3o"
have discharged yo"rselves with greatness. =arewellGF
F=arewellGF the army replied$ and began to disperse. here was also one of
8ampl#s warriors (who came later to be 'nown as #the 8amplmen#) who pro"dly ret"rned
to the mayor#s ho"se carrying a rifle on his sho"lder that had been ta'en from a Chinese
soldier.
-o it was that 1ister 8ampl became mayor. altho"gh it m"st be said that it was
than's to the wise advice of &ishop Linda and the venerable elders of the city that even
his ca"tio"s style of governing was blessed with relative peace in the midst of general
anarchy.
Chapter ''VII
A Pacific Atoll
FWhat the 8ell ...$F Captain ro"ble began. F!sn#t that their leader$ that lan'y
one4F
Fhat#s Nimmy$F E.8. &ondy observed. F8e "sed to wor' here. ! tho"ght we#d
entirely tamed him.F
F/nd ! had to doc' at a damned place li'e this$F the captain concl"ded. Fhis
miserable ... 8ereheret"aGGG What4F
FL!sten$F said E.8. &ondy$ p"tting his rifle down on the veranda table. F!s it the
same everywhere4F
F! thin' it is$ yesGF the captain la"ghed. F,ver on Iawaiwai$ that#s where they ate
Captain &ar'er$ along with all his crew. /nd on 1angayi$ that#s where they g"%%led three
millionaires$ millionaires li'e yo" are.F
Fhe -"therland brothers4F &ondy as'ed.
Fhin' it was$ yes. ,n -tarb"c' !sland they too' the government commissioner
and ba'ed him. hat fat blo'e$ 1acDeon. 6now him4F
F*o$ ! don#t 'now him.F
FDon#t 'now 1acDeon4F the captain e+claimed. F8ow long have yo" been o"t
here$ then4F
F*early nine years now$F 1ister &ondy replied.
F3o" sho"ld have met him by now then$F the captain tho"ght. F*ine years$ eh4
8ere on b"siness$ are yo"4 ,r tho"ght yo"#d get yo"rself some nice little hideaway4
-omewhere to soothe yo"r nerves4F
F*o$F said 1ister &ondy. F! co"ld see it was going to get a bit lively bac' "p
there$ so ! left. ! tho"ght things wo"ld be 2"ieter here.F
F/h$ 2"ietG 3o" don#t 'now what o"r blac' boys are li'e. hey#re always fighting
abo"t something or other somewhere.F
F,h4F E.8. &ondy defended himself. F!t really was 2"iet here earlier. hey#re
decent lads these 7ap"ans$ or whatever yo" call them. !t#s only lately that it sort of ...
began. 3o" 'now$ ! don#t really "nderstand them very well$ what is it they want4F
F*othing in partic"lar$F the captain tho"ght$ Fthey 0"st want to eat "s.F
F&eca"se they#re h"ngry4F as'ed &ondy in s"rprise.
F! don#t 'now. 1ore li'ely their religion. -ome 'ind of rite or something. -ome
'ind of holy comm"nion. Whatever it is$ they#ve started doing it again.F
F! see$F said 1ister &ondy$ tho"ghtf"lly.
Fhey#ve got their c"stoms anywhere yo" go$F the captain gr"mbled. Fhe
c"stom here is to eat strangers and shrin' their heads.F
Fhey even shrin' their heads4F said &ondy with disg"st.
F,nly once they#re dead$F the captain reass"red him. Fhey 'eep the shr"n'en
head as a so"venir. 5ver seen those shr"n'en heads in the 5thnographic 1"se"m in
/"c'land4F
F*o$F said &ondy. F! ... ! don#t thin' my head wo"ld loo' very nice shr"n'en.F
F3o"#re a bit too fat for that$F the captain observed critically. F1a'es hardly any
difference to someone thin tho"gh.F
&ondy did not seem at all placated by this tho"ght. 8e sat despondently on the
veranda of his b"ngalow on the coral island of 8ereheret"a which he had bo"ght 0"st
before the Ereatest War. Captain ro"ble scowled tho"ghtf"lly o"t at the thic' woods of
mangroves and bananas that s"rro"nded the b"ngalow.
F8ow many of these natives are there here4F he s"ddenly as'ed.
F/bo"t a h"ndred and twenty$F E.8. &ondy replied.
F/nd how many of "s here in the b"ngalow4F
F-even$ incl"ding the Chinese coo'.F
he captain sighed and loo'ed o"t at the sea where his ship$ the 7apeete$ lay at
anchor. o get to the ship he wo"ld have to go along the narrow trac' between the
mangroves$ and that was not altogether to be recommended.
Fell me$F he as'ed after a pa"se$ Fwhat is it they#re act"ally fighting abo"t4
-ome territory disp"te or something4F
FLess than that.F
Fhe colony4F
FLess.F
F-ome 'ind of b"siness deal4F
F*o. hey#re simply fighting over what#s right.F
FWhat#s that s"pposed to mean4F
FWhat#s absol"tely right. Don#t yo" 'now4 5very nation wants to 'now it#s
right.F
F8m$F the captain gr"nted. F/nd what is right4F
F*othing. N"st a passion of man'ind. ! s"ppose yo"#ve heard that in 5"rope$ and
everwhere else there#s some 'ind of ... some 'ind of god that#s come to 5arth.F
F3es.F
FWell that#s what it#s all abo"t. ;nderstand4F
F*o$ ! don#t "nderstand. !#d have tho"ght any proper god wo"ld ma'e things right
on 5arth$ tidy things "p. his god can#t be any proper or normal god.F
FWell no$ it isn#t$F E.8. &ondy replied. 8e was clearly pleased he finally had the
chance to tal' with someone "nbiased and e+perienced. Fhat is$ it is the real Eod. &"t
!#ll tell yo" something else) 8e#s too big.F
F3o" thin' so4F
F8e#s too big. 8e#s infinite. /nd that#s what#s ca"sing all the tro"ble. 5veryone
meas"res 8im against his own si%e$ and s"pposes that#s all the Eod there is. hey ta'e
hold of some little scrap or spec' of Eod and thin' they#ve got the whole thing.F
F/h$F the captain said$ Fso they#re angry at everyone else who#s got a different
scrap.F
F5+actly. /nd to convince themselves they#ve got all of Eod to themselves they
have to 'ill all the others. !t#s beca"se it#s so important to them ( yo" see4 ( so important
to have all of Eod to themselves and all the tr"th to themselves. hat#s why they can#t
stand it for anyone else to have a different god or a different tr"th. !f they allowed that
they#d have to ac'nowledge that all they#ve got is a miserable co"ple of meters of Eod#s
tr"th$ 0"st a co"ple of gallons$ 0"st a co"ple of sac'f"ls. -"ppose 1ister -nippers thin's
-nippers# factory ma'es the best 'nitted "nderwear in the world$ he#ll have to destroy
1asson and all the "nderwear from 1asson#s factory. it#s 0"st as st"pid as that when it#s a
matter of theology or 5nglish politics. !f they tho"ght Eod were something as solid and
"sef"l as 'nitted "nderwear they#d let everyone have whatever god they want. &"t they
don#t have eno"gh faith in Eod#s b"siness sense for that$ that#s why they force everyone to
have -nippers# god and -nippers# tr"th$ that#s why they slander and fight wars and spread
propaganda. !#m a b"sinessman$ ! "nderstand competition$ b"t ...F
FWaitGF the captain stopped him. 8e pic'ed "p his g"n$ too' aim and shot into the
mangrove forest. FhereG ! thin' that#s one less of them now.F
F8e died for his faith$F observed &ondy tho"ghtf"lly. F3o" "sed force to stop him
eating me. 8e died for the national ideal of the cannibal. hey#ve always been eating
each other for the same ideals in 5"rope too. 3o"#re a decent man$ captain$ b"t ! thin'
yo"#d eat me if it were for the sa'e of some f"ndamental seaman#s principle. ! can#t even
tr"st yo" anymore.F
F3o"#re right$F the captain growled. FWhenever ! loo' at yo" ! thin' to myself ...F
F3es$ ! 'now$ yo"#re a fanatical anti(semite. hat doesn#t matter$ !#ve had myself
baptised. /nd do yo" 'now what it is that#s got into those blac' idiots$ captain4 wo
days ago they fished a Napanese atomic torpedo o"t of the sea. hey set it "p over there$
"nder the cocon"t palms$ and started bowing to it. hey#ve got their own god now.
hat#s why they#ve got to eat "s.F
-ho"ts of war were heard from the mangroves.
F8ear them4F the captain gr"mbled. F! swear it$ !#d rather do be doing something
li'e another geometry e+am than ...F
FListen$F &ondy whispered. F8ow abo"t if we went over to their religion4 /s far
as !#m concerned ...F
N"st then a cannon shot th"ndered o"t from the 7apeete.
he captain let o"t a 2"iet sho"t of 0oy.
Chapter ''VIII
#e)en Chalets
While the armies of the world were forging world history by battling with each
other$ while the borders of states moved bac' and forth li'e worms$ while the world was
being red"ced to r"bble$ old 1rs. &laho"S in the village of -even Chalets was digging "p
potatoes. 1ister &laho"S sat on the doorstep smo'ing beech leaves$ and their neighbo"r$
1rs. 7ro"%a leant against the fence saying)
FWell then$ well then.F
Fhat#s right$F agreed 1ister &laho"S after a pa"se.
F! thin' it is$F said 1rs. &laho"S.
Fhat#s 0"st how it is$F 1rs. 7ro"%a contin"ed.
FWhat#s it all for then4F tho"ght old 1ister &laho"S.
Fhat#s 0"st what it#s all abo"t$F 1rs. &laho"S added as she p"lled "p another
potato.
Fhey say !taly got it the other day$F &laho"S reminded them.
FWho was that from then4F
F"r's$ ! thin'.F
Fhat mean the end of the war then$ do it4F
FCo"rse it don#t. 7r"ssians be going in ne+t$ ! rec'on.F
FWho they gonna start attac'in$ then4F
F#Eainst the =rench$ they say.F
F,h my Eod$ right mess that#ll be$ all over againGF
Fhat#s right.F
F! thin' it is.F
FWhat#s it all for then4F
Fhere#s some blo'e in -wit%erland$ they say$ some -wiss who says they all o"ght
to 0"st stop it.F
Fhat#s what ! say.F
F! had to pay two and #alf tho"sand the other day$ 0"st for a candle. N"st for a
smelly old candle$ &laho"S$ to go in the cowshed.F
F#wo and #alf tho"sand$ yo" say4F
F&est part of. &loomin dear that is$ ! sayGF
F! thin' it is.F
Fhat#s what ! thin'.F
FWho#d have tho"ght it4 wo and #alf tho"sandGF
F3o" co"ld get a nice candle for a co"ple of #"ndred$ "sed to.F
FEood few years ago that was$ missis. 3o" co"ld even get an egg for five
#"ndred.F
F/nd b"tter was 0"st three tho"sand a po"nd.F
FEood b"tter it were and all.F
F/nd a pair of shoes for eight tho"sand.F
Fhat#s right$ cheap it was in them days.F
F&"t now tho"gh ...F
Fhat#s right.F
F! 0"st wish they#d all 0"st stop itGGF
hey stopped tal'ing. ,ld 1ister &laho"S stood "p$ straightened himself o"t into
a h"nch$ and pic'ed "p some straw in the yard.
FWhat#s it all for then4F he said$ and "nscrewed the head of his pipe in order to
p"sh the straw thro"gh it.
F/lways did stin'$ that pipe$F remar'ed 1rs. &laho"S ta'ing an interest.
FCo"rse it stin's$F 1ister &laho"S agreed. F!t always did stin'. !f yo" can#t get
any baccy for it$ not anywhere in the world$ co"rse it#s gonna stin'. Last time ! got a bit
of baccy for it was from me son$ when he was made a professor. When was that then. #C?
was it4F
F&e abo"t fo"r years come 5aster.F
Fhat so"nds abo"t right$F 1ister &laho"S agreed. FWe#re gettin old$ my love.
Eettin very old.F
F&"t what ! want to 'now is$F 1rs. 7ro"%a$ the neighbo"r began$ Fwhat#s it all for
then4F
FWhat#s all what for4F
F/ll this war$ and all that4F
F8ow sho"ld ! 'now4F answered 1ister &laho"S$and he blew thro"gh his pipe
hard eno"gh to ma'e it whistle. F! don#t s"ppose anyone 'nows that. -ome#ing to do
with religion$ they say.F
FWhat religion4F
F,"r religion$ 8elvitian religion$ ... !#n#t no(one 'nows what religion. ;sed to be
0"st the one relgion$ they say.F
Fhere only ever was one religion ro"nd here.F
F3es$ b"t there were other religions in different places. hen they gave o"t an
order or some#ing$ saying there had to be 0"st the one.F
F,rder4 Who gave this order then4F
F*o(one 'nows who gave the order. -ome machine for ma'ing faith or
something. -ome boiler or something.F
FWhat did they want to go and ma'e a boiler for4F
F*o(one 'nows why they made it. N"st some boiler. /nd then Eod came and
appeared among the people so that they wo"ld have faith$ or something. 3o" see$ there
"sed to be lots of people witho"t faith in those days. 3o"#ve got to have some#ing to
believe in$ or else what#s life for4 /nd if people had believed in 8im 8e wo"ldn#t have
needed to appear among them. -o 8e came$ and 8e appeared on 5arth all beca"se of all
this godlessness$ see4F
F-o where did this enormo"s great war come from then4F
F*o(one 'nows where this war came from. hey say it was the Chinese or the
"r's that started it all. oo' their own god along with them in this boiler or some#ing.
#Ca"se they#re s"pposed to be very religio"s$ these "r's and Chinamen. -o they wanted
all of "s to believe in the same thing li'e they did$ in their way.F
FWell why sho"ld we all believe in the same thing li'e they do4F
F*o(one 'nows why they wanted all of "s to believe in the same thing li'e they
do. ! thin' it m"st have been the 7r"ssians that started it. #-pecially them -wedes.F
F,h dear Eod$F lamented 1rs. 7ro"%a. F/nd these prices these daysG wo and
#alf tho"sand$ 0"st for a candleGF
F!f yo" as' me$F 1ister &laho"S asserted$ Fit#s ca"se of them News$ gave the army
away they did$ ma'e some money o"t of it. hat#s what ! thin'.F
FWe need some rain$F 1rs. &laho"S observed. Fhese sp"ds are tiny. Li'e
waln"ts$ they are.F
F/nd what#s more$F 1ister &laho"S contin"ed$ Fthey#ve been st"dying all abo"t
Eod they have$ so that they 'now who to p"t the blame on. hey#re sly li'e that. Wanted
to have the army and an e+c"se for it. 8ad it all wor'ed o"t$ they did.F
FWho#s that then4F
F*o(one 'nows who that is. ! thin' it#s the pope$ got together with them News he
did$ wor'ed it all o"t$ all of itG hese ... these ... calb"ratistsGF he words b"rst o"t of
1ister &laho"S#s mo"th angrily. F!#d tell it them straight to their face$ ! wo"ldG What the
hec' did they need a new god for4 he old god#s been good eno"gh for "s on the farms.
/ll we needed$ 8e was$ good to "s 8e wasG 8e was decent to "s$ 8e was 0"stG 8e never
came and appeared to anyone$ and at least we had some peace in ...F
F8ow m"ch do yo" sell yo"r eggs for these days$ 1rs. 7ro"%a4F
F #&o"t two tho"sand$ "s"ally.F
F!#ve heard they#re selling them for three$ over in r"tnov.F
F/nd if yo" as' me$F old 1ister &laho"S contin"ed as he became crosser$ Fit#s
something that had to happen. 7eople were always doing nasty things to each other.
3o"r dead h"sband tho"gh$ 1rs. 7ro"%a$ may he rest in peace$ he was always a
tho"ghtf"l and spirit"al man$ and ! said to him one day$ 0"st as a 0o'e li'e$ F8ere$ 7ro"%a$
call bac' that evil spirit of mine$ it#s escaped againGF. /nd he too' it serio"sly and from
that day on he never spo'e another word to me. Eood neighbo"r$ he was. /nd that ony
HlPe'$ he#s been goin on abo"t those phosphates again$ what he "ses for fertiliser$ and
anyone who doesn#t "se #em has to 'eep diggin and diggin. /nd my son$ tal'ing li'e
some professor li'e he always does$ he says everyone else is doing the same. ,nce they
get something into their heads$ they want everyone else to do the same. /nd they 0"st
won#t leave yo" in peace. /nd it#s all beca"se of thatF
F! thin' yo"#re right$F 1rs. 7ro"%a opined as she yawned. F!t#s all the same
anywhere yo" go.F
F! thin' it is$F 1rs. &laho"S sighed.
FWe#re all agreed on that then$F 1rs. 7ro"%a added.
F/nd all yo" want to do$ yo" women$ yo" 0"st want to stand aro"nd yac'ing all
day$F gr"mbled old 1ister &laho"S to concl"de the matter$ and he sh"ffled inside.
/nd meanwhile$ all aro"nd the globe$ armies were battling and forging world
history to create Fa better tomorrowF$ as all the thin'ers in all the camps ass"red "s.
Chapter ''I'
The (inal attle
&y the spring of 1?KD the Ereatest War was declining to its end. here were no
armies left. =orces of occ"pation$ mostly c"t off from their homelands$ diminished in
n"mber and disappeared li'e water into sand. -elf(appointed generals moved abo"t from
city to city$ or rather from r"bble heap to r"bble heap$ with a vang"ard of five men$ one
dr"mmer$ one thief$ one schoolboy$ one man with a gramophone and one man whom
nobody 'new very well. heir f"nction was to distract fire$ or at least to p"t on a benefit
concert Ffor invalids$ their widows and their orphansF. *obody had any idea any more of
how many sides were still fighting.
!t was in this state of general and "nspo'en collapse that the Ereatest War came to
its end. he end came with s"ch s"ddenness that nobody now 'nows where the final$ and
s"pposedly decisive$ battle too' place. 5ven now$ historians still disp"te which conflict
meant the end of the war and bro"ght the global conflagration to its concl"sion. here
are some (s"ch as DMhrich$ /ssbridge and$ in partic"lar$ 1oroni) who are inclined to the
view that it was the &attle of Lin%$ which was a ma0or operation involving si+ty soldiers
from vario"s hostile sides. !t too' place in the f"nction hall of he Iose p"b and its
ob0ective was 8ilda$ the barmaid (who was act"ally 1aJena IbViP'ov9 from the town of
*ov< &ydVov). he final victor was an !talian called FEi"seppeF who too' 8ilda away
with him. he following day$ however$ she ran away with a C%ech$ H9clav 8r"S'a$ so
that the o"tcome of even this battle has to be seen as "ncertain.
;sins'i cites a similar battle that too' place at Eorochov'a$ Leblond the &attle of
&atignolles$ van Eroo a s'irmish near *ie"wport$ b"t it seems that their choices were
infl"enced more by their sense of patriotism than gen"ine historical reasons. !n short$ the
name of the final battle in the Ereatest War is simply not 'nown. *onetheless$ it can
probably be ascertained from a large n"mber of prophecies from the time before the
Ereatest War which are remar'ably in agreement with each other.
7rinted in archaic script$ and preserved since 1BCK$ one doc"ment prophecies that
Fmanifestions of great horror will come to pass$ many fol' will perish in battleF. !t goes
on to say that Fnations n"mbering thirteen will$ for months n"mbering one h"ndred$ meet
in combat in the field below the birch tree$ and there will they in desperate battle shed
m"ch bloodF. his however wo"ld be followed by fifty years of peace.
!n 1B?D$ Wali -ch`n (4)$ a prophetess in "r'ey$ foretold that Ffive times one
do%en years will pass before peace ret"rns to the world$ for in this year will thirteen
emperors meet in combat below the birch tree. 7eace will follow$ peace which had not
been 'nown before and which will not be 'nown againF.
!n 1?0?$ a negress in 1assach"setts had a vision of Fa blac' ogre$ with two horns$
a yellow ogre with three horns$ and a red ogre with eight horns. he ogres fo"ght
together "nder a tree ebirch4f$ till the whole world was red with their bloodF. he
interesting point is that the total n"mber of horns is thirteen$ which clearly refers to the
thirteen nations.
!n 1?20 the Iight(Ieverend /rnold predicted that Fa war will come which will
last nine years and sha'e the whole world. ,ne great emperor will die in this war$ three
great empires will collape$ ninety(nine capital cities will be overt"rned and the final battle
of this war will be the last battle of the cent"ry.F
!n the same year$ the FHision of NonathanF was printed in -toc'holm) F*inety(
nine co"ntries will be emaciated by war and famine$ ninety(nine empires will be be ended
. the final battle will last ninety(nine ho"rs and ca"se s"ch bloodshed that all of its victors
will gather "nder the shade of a birch tree.F
/ pop"lar legend heard in Eermany in 1?2D predicted a battle on a birch field
(&ir'enfeld).
!n his b"dget speech in 1?2C$ &"bnQ' told parliament that F... we cannot e+pect
any improvement "ntil the last soldier has left the birch tree.F
here are more than two h"ndred s"ch doc"ments and prophecies preserved$
rangeing from 1BCK to 1?CC. forty of them mention the fig"re thirteen$ seventy mention
the birch tree and fifteen others merely mention a tree. We can infer from all this that the
last battle was fo"ght somewhere near a birch tree. we do not 'now who the combattants
were$ b"t a total of thirteen men from vario"s armies s"rvived it and gathered "nder the
shade of a birch. hat was the moment when the Ereatest War came to its end.
!t is also possible$ however$ that FbirchF was meant only symbolically to refer to
the name of a place s"ch as &Je%any$ &Je%enec$ &Je%hrad$ &Je%Q (there are 2C
comm"nities of that name in &ohemia)$ &Je%ina (1D)$ &Je%noves$ &Je%in'a (C)$ &Je%in'y$
&Je%iny (D)$ &Je%'a (C) or even &Je%'o$ &Je%n9 (2)$ &Je%nice (K)$ &Je%nQ'$ &Je%no (10)$
&Je%ov9 (11)$ &Je%ov: 8ory$ &Je%ovice (@)$ &Je%ovQ'$ &Je%bv'y$ &JeVany (?) or even
&Je%ol"py. !n Eermany we can find &ir'$ &ir'enberg$ (feld$ (haid$ (hammer$ &ir'icht
and so on. !n 5ngland there are &ir'enhead$ &ir'enham$ &irch etc.$ and in =rance
&o"llainville$ &o"lay and so on. !n this way$ the n"mber of towns$ villages and other
locations where the final battle too' place can be narrowed down to 0"st a few tho"sand
(ass"ming$ that is$ the battle too' place in 5"rope$ as 5"rope certainly has prior right to
claim that hono"r)$ and detailed scientific research will be able to establish where it was$
if not show who was the victor.
We are told tho"gh ( and let "s not forget that appearances can be deceptive ( that
there was a slender silver birch standing near the theatre of the last act of this world
tragedy. there may have been a lar' above the battlefield singing o"t its song and perhaps
these ro"gh(hewn warriors had a white b"tterfly fl"ttering in the wind over their heads.
/nd s"ddenly$ there is hardly anyone left to 'ill. it is a warm ,ctober day$ and one hero
after another t"rns his bac' to the battle and goes to one side$ he lets his body rest and$
yearning for peace$ goes to lie in the shade of the birch. 5vent"ally there are thirteen of
them lying there$ the thirteen who were the s"rvivors of the =inal &attle. ,ne lays his
weary head on the boot of his neighbo"r$ another on his bac'$ "ndist"rbed by his sighs
(which are$ of co"rse$ the sighs of a soldier). he last thirteen soldiers in the world$ all
asleep together "nder the shade of a single birch tree.
/s evening falls they wa'e$ loo' aro"nd themselves in disbelief and reach for
their weapons. /nd one of them ( history does not tell "s his name ( says)
F=or Eod#s sa'e lads$ can#t we 0"st give it a rest.F
F3eah$ ! s"ppose yo"#re right$F the other responds$ p"tting his rifle bac' down.
FLet#s have some o# that bacon$ can !4$F a third soldier as's$ a hint of tenderness in
his voice.
/ fo"rth 0oins in) F! co"ld m"rder for a smo'e. Eot any fags$ someone4F
FWe#ve stopped wor'ing now lads$F opines the fifth. F*ot playing the game now.F
F! can give yo" a fag$F says the si+th$ Fif yo"#ll let me have a bit of that bread.F
F8omeG N"st thin' of it$ we#re going home$F p"t in the seventh.
FEot yo"r old woman waiting for yo" bac' there$ have yo"4F the eighths as's.
FChrist$ it m"st be at least si+ years since ! slept in a proper bed$F the ninth
recollected.
FWhat a st"pid waste of time it#s all been$F said the tenth$ and he spat on the
gro"nd.
F3eah$ that#s what ! thin'$F agreed the eleventh. F&"t from now on$ we#re not
going to lift a finger.F
F*ot a finger$F the twelfth repeated. FWe#re not mad$ are weG Lads$ we#re going
homeGF
F! glad it#s all over$F the thirteenth informed them all$ and he rolled over onto his
other side.
We can imagine that this$ or something li'e this$ was what happened in the final
moments of the Ereatest War.
Chapter '''
The "nd
1any years passed. !n an inn$ ; Damohors'<ch$ sat 1ister &rych$ the engineer$
reading the newspaper. 8e was now a s"ccessf"l loc'smith.
F*ice fry("p$ coming "p soon$F anno"nced the landlord as he stepped o"t from
the 'itchen. /nd loo' who it isG !t#s Nan &inder who had been the owner of the
ro"ndabo"t. 8e#s fatter now$ and he#s not wearing his stripey shirt any more$ b"t it#s
certainly himG
F7lenty of time$F says 1ister &rych$ slowly. F=ather NoSt isn#t even here yet.
Ie0%e'$ the newspaper editor$ he#s not here yet either.F
F/nd ... what abo"t 1ister 6"%enda4 8ow#s he now4F 1ister &inder as's.
FWell$ yo" 'now abo"t him. 8e#s getting slowly worse all the time. / very
decent man that is$ 1ister &inder.F
FWell yes$F tho"ght the landlord. F! don#t 'now ...1ister &rych ... how abo"t if !
give some of these sa"sages and yo" ta'e them ro"nd to him4 hey#re really nice$ they
are$ so if yo" wo"ldn#t mind ...F
F!#d be glad to$ 1ister &inder$ and !#m s"re he#ll be glad yo"#ve tho"ght of him.
3es$ !#d be glad to.F
N"st then a cry of F7raise the LordF was heard from the doorway$ and =ather NoSt$
his face made fresh and r"ddy by the frost$ came in and h"ng "p his hat and his f"r coat.
FEood evening$ Ieverend$F 1ister &rych replied cheerf"lly. We#ve been waiting
for yo".F
=ather NoSt p"rsed his lips with 0oy and r"bbed his stiff fingers. FWhat#s in the
papers$ 1ister &rych$ what have they got to say4F
F!#ll read it straight o"t to yo") #he 7resident of the Iep"blic has appointed the
yo"thf"l lect"rer and private t"tor$ Doctor &laho"S$ to the position of professor
e+traordinary.# Do yo" remember$ Ieverend$ that#s the same Doctor &laho"S who wrote
abo"t 1ister 6"%enda that time.F
F/h$ yes$ yes$F said =ather NoSt$ polishing his glasses. F8e#s a non(believer$ yo"
see. /ll those "niversity people are non(believers. /nd yo"#re a non(believer yo"rself$
1ister &rych.F
FWell$ !#m s"re yo"#re praying for "s$ =ather$F p"t in 1ister &inder. F8e wants "s
to go to 8eaven so that we can play cards with him. wo and one then$ =ather4
F,f co"rse$ two and one.
8e opened the door into the 'itchen and sho"ted$ Fwo sa"sage and one blac'
p"dding.F
FE#d evening$F gr"nted Ie0%e'$ the editor$ as he entered the p"b. F!t#s really cold
o"t thereG.F
F#5vening$F 1ister &inder responded. FEot a great b"nch in tonightGF
FWhat#s new then4F as'ed =ather NoSt FWhat#s come into the newsroom4 ! "sed
to read the papers when ! was a lad too$ yo" 'now.F
&laho"S even mentioned me in the paper once in those days$F said 1ister &rych.
F! c"t it o"t$ and !#ve got it somewhere. #he apostle of the c"lt of 6"%enda#$ or
something li'e that$ he wrote abo"t me. 3es$ those were the days.F
F8ere#s dinnerGF 1ister Ie0%e' declared.
1ister &inder and his da"ghter were already bringing the sa"sages to table. they
still si%%led and blew foamy b"bbles of fat as they lay on their rich bed of cabbage$ li'e a
"r'ish odalis' on his c"shions. =ather NoSt smac'ed his lips lo"dly and c"t the first
gorgeo"s slice.
F8ere yo" are then$F he said to 1ister &rych.
F1m$F 1ister Ie0%e' agreed when it was his t"rn.
F&inder$ yo"#ve done "s pro"d$ said the preacher in gratit"de.
/ll was 2"iet$ as all of them were "nited in their appreciation.
F1ace$F 1ister &rych said. F! love the flavo"r of mace.F
F-ho"ldn#t p"t too m"ch in$ tho"gh.F
F*o$ b"t this is 0"st right.F
F3o" need some nice crac'ling on the s'in$ too.F
F1m$F and they were all silent again.
F/nd the cabbage sho"ld be nice and white$ too.F
FDown in 1oravia$F said 1ister &rych$ Fthey ma'e cabbage into a sort of m"sh. !
"sed to wor' down there. /lmost li2"id$ it is.F
FDon#t li'e the so"nd of that$F said =ather NoSt in s"rprise. F3o" need to strain
cabbage before yo" serve it. hat can#t be right$ yo" can#t eat cabbage li'e that.F
FWell they do eat it li'e that. 5at it with a spoon$ they do.F
Fhat so"nds horrible$F the preacher sh"ddered. Fhey#re strange people down in
1oravia. /ll yo" need for coo'ing cabbage is a bit of grease. hat#s right$ isn#t it 1ister
&inder. ! can#t "nderstand why anyone wo"ld want to do it any other way.F
1ister &rych tho"ght for a little while$ and said$ F! s"ppose it#s li'e religion really.
,ne man can#t "nderstand how another co"ld believe in something different either.F
FDon#t tal' r"bbish$F =ather NoSt defended himself. F!#d as soon start believing in
1ohamed as start eating cabbage li'e that. !t stands to reason$ all yo" need to do with
cabbage is coo' it in a bit of grease.F
F/nd what abo"t faith4 Doesn#t that stand to reason4F
F,"r faith yes$ it does$F said the preacher decisively. F&"t none of those other
religions do.F
F-o now we#re bac' where we were before the war$F said 1ister &rych with a
sigh.
F7eople are always the same as they always "sed to be$F p"t in 1ister &inder.
F!t#s 0"st li'e 1ister 6"%enda always says. #&inder$# he says$ #no tr"th is worth fighting
over. Listen$ &inder$# he says$ #that god we had bac' on the dredger$ he wasn#t s"ch a bad
god$ and the one yo" had on the ro"ndabo"t$ he wasn#t bad either$ b"t they still both
disappeared. 5veryone thin's his god is the best of all$ b"t he can#t believe somebody
else who thin's he#s got a god that#s 0"st as good. =irst of all$ yo" have to believe in
people$ and all the rest will follow.# hat#s what 1ister 6"%enda says.F
FWell$ yes$F tho"ght 1ister &rych. F-omeone might thin' someone else#s faith is
bad$ b"t he sho"ldn#t s"ppose that means he#s a bad person$ or that he#s cr"de or
dishonest. hat#s 0"st politics. it gets into everything.F
F/nd that#s why so many people hate and 'ill each other$F p"t in =ather NoSt.
Fhe stronger a person#s faith is the more he#ll get all e+cited abo"t it and despise those
who don#t share it. he strongest faith is faith in people.F
F5veryone seems to thin' very highly of man'ind$ b"t not abo"t individ"al men.
!#ll 'ill yo"$ b"t !#ll save man'ind. /nd that#s not good$ Ieverend. !t#ll be bad for the
world if people don#t start believing in people.F
F1ister &inder$F said =ather NoSt tho"ghtf"lly$ Fperhaps yo"#d be so 'ind as to
prepare some of this cabbage in the 1oravian style for me tomorrow. ! thin' ! wo"ld li'e
to try it.F
F=irst yo" have to fry it very 2"ic'ly$ and then yo" steam it. hen yo" eat it with
sa"sages and it#s really goodG here#s something good in every faith and in every tr"th$
even if it#s only that someone somewhere li'es it.F
he o"tside door opened and a policeman came in. 8e was very cold and wanted
a glass of r"m.
F/h$ Constable 8r"S'a$ nice to see yo"$F said &rych. FWhere have yo" been
then4F
F,"t in ZiV'ov$F the policeman told him as he too' off his enormo"s gloves.
F8ad to carry o"t a raid.F
F/nd what were yo" loo'ing for4F
FCo"ple of ro"gh characters. Co"ple of villains. /nd at n"mber 100@$ down in
the cellar$ we fo"nd a den.F
F #/ den#4 What sort of den4F Ie0%e' as'ed.
F/ carb"rator den$ 1ister Ie0%e'. hey had a little carb"rator there from an old
motor(bi'e from before the war. /ll the lowlife were going there and holding orgies.F
F,rgies4 What sort of orgies4F
FWell$ getting "p to mischief. 7raying and singing and having visions. 1a'ing
prophecies they were$ performing miracles. all that sort of thing.F
F!s that not allowed$ then4F
F*o. he police have forbidden that sort of thing. hey#re no different to opi"m
dens really$ yo" see. here was another of these dens down in the ,ld own. hat#s
seven of these carb"rator dens we#ve d"g o"t so far. ;sed to attract all the rif(raf$ they
did$ all the tramps and the whores and s"ch li'e. hat#s why we had to ban them$ see4 !t
was a breach of p"blic order.F
F/re there many of these carb"rator dens$ then4F
F*ot any more$ there aren#tG ! thin' that what we got today was the very last
carb"rator.F